#Is it funny to waste a feat to avoid taking it? yes

[washed-up-wurmcoil]

My favorite 5e bitch move is taking Eldritch Adept: Fiendish Vigor on blood hunters so that they can activate their blood rite immediately after finishing a rest and don't have to worry about getting a boo-boo.

[yguchild]

TOKYO REVENGERS CHARACTERS WHEN THEY GOT THEIR WISDOM TOOTH OUT

warning: none.

genre: fluff.

characters: matsuno chifuyu, kawata "smiley" nahoya, and haitani rindou.

note: possible ooc. grammatical errors.

requested here

Chifuyu

This one is quite funny because Chifuyu is afraid of needles. Yes, man isn't afraid of a punch, but needles. It's a wonder how the dentist persuades him to get the shot. (Perhaps he had it in hidden somewhere)

He will try to be as calm as possible, but inside he is freaking out. Like he's burning from the inside out because he's that freaked out. Clammy hands, restless legs bobbing, and all that to avoid his shot.

He would even try questioning the staff as if they weren't experts. And, you (his signed guardian) will talk him out of it. Approximately, it will take an hour before Chifuyu got his tooth out.

Knocked to oblivion. By a punch because he doesn't want to take the shot awake.

So, after his surgery, you're reading some books or scrolling to mundane social media as you patiently wait for your lover to wake up. You had your phone ready by the time he mumbles your name, obviously high still from the anesthesia. He would reach out to the fluorescent light and curses.

"What are you doing?"

"I love you, Jesus."

It will take you a hot minute to compose yourself from laughing. Chifuyu saying he loves Jesus? Your phone is immediately recording his face as he claims to see God and angels. You would try to calm him down when he TRIED SINGING TAKE ME TO CHURCH. (which baffles you because he's belting so good)

"Fuyu, you are disturbing others-"

"Who are you? Why are you hitting on me? I have a girlfriend!"

It will effortlessly cause your heart to swell, admiring your boyfriend who keeps pushing you away. It's a hilarious feat from an outsider's eyes. (You were an awestruck, lovesick fool while Chifuyu keeps on insisting that you leave him)

"Fuyu, it's me, your girlfriend." You sigh for the umpteenth time, trying to move closer to your boyfriend.

Chifuyu chuckles, "No, miss. I don't have any time to waste on you."

"But, Chifuyu, I am (y/n)."

Your fingers found their way to massage your temple. The boy in front of you kept singing and refusing your invitation to go home. He's already fine, but let's not forget the elephant in the room that he is still high. Chifuyu kept belting the chorus of Take Me To Church while putting his hands up to worship the fluorescent atop his head. You had plenty of pictures and videos from this fiasco, laughing at the thought of his friends finding this side of him out.

"So, you are my girlfriend?"

You turn your head to the blond, furiously nodding as he stared at you like you were some stranger, "Yes, I am."

A smile appears on his face, and you weren't sure to be glad about it.

"My girlfriend kisses my feet, can you?"

Kawata "Smiley" Nahoya

Everyone around Smiley will never catch a break. You see, this man is quiet once the high hits him. He will be silent and observant while high. It's like he exchanged persona with his twin for a minute and stares at your soul.

Smiley isn't bothered with needles or getting the shot, unlike Chifuyu. He's all smiles and thumbs up in the beginning until he's knocked out. He was snoring through the surgery, and you can hear them even outside. You were embarrassed as you wait, opting to apologize to people who shoot you a questioning look.

As a good girlfriend, you will mutter an apology to everyone who passes you. They will kindly dismiss you, but the concern on their face will worry you more.

Once the surgery is over, you patiently wait beside your sleeping boyfriend. You scroll through TikTok, laughing at their stupidity, and when you turn to check on Smiley, he's staring at your soul. He will give you a mini heart attack, honestly, and you have to get yourself admitted.

"You are?"

"You're girlfriend?"

"I have one?"

Yes, Smiley will forget that he has a girlfriend. You smile at him and tell him about you and your relationship. He will silently listen to you, docile and soft. Maybe, it was because he's still high, but that's the least of your worries. And, he's there like a lost child as he attentively listens to you.

After you told him about your relationship, he will cry. Crying a river and snotty. It scares you that he might be hiding an ogre-like his twin, but you confirmed that there's no ogre hiding. Just Smiley being a crybaby, similar to his brother.

He will lock you in a hug, bombarding you with all the questions about your relationship. It will fluster you at first, but you savor it since this side of your boyfriend is rare.

"Oh, I did that?" Nahoya questions, raising an eyebrow.

You laugh, "Yes, you did. You grew flowers and gave them to me as a gift."

He lies on his side, facing you while you absent-mindedly tell him stories. He plays with one of your hands, smiling at you. It was an intimate moment rather than a hilarious one because Smiley insists on your stories about dates and what happened between the two of you. He silently admires the way your eyes shine when you tell him about a precious moment or a funny one. The way you exaggerate your gestures when you told him how he beat up a lot of your bullies. He was gazing in a priced jewelry, a sunflower.

"Long story short, I am a lucky guy?"

You smile at him, "We both are."

Haitani Rindou

This man is another chaos. He is not afraid of needles but of hospitals in general. It's contradicting how ruthless he displays himself, then cringe at the smell of alcohol. He totally despises the smell of alcohol, let alone mentioning that he needs to get his wisdom tooth out, which brings a shiver down his spine.

Do you know how children stick to their parents on their first day of school? That's how Rindou is when you went to his appointment. He grabs onto you and sulks as if you betrayed him by bringing him to the dentist. (Good Lord, he is a drama king) You have to whisper to him that you'll reward him if he did well all throughout the appointment.

Oh, how well you provoked the devil because he went docile in front of the doctor. Stoic and all of that. It's hilarious, even though Rindou has been stoic but to see him freeze at the gaze of the dentist. It's a different battle than the usual fistfight.

Sedatives don't work on him. It's like he's a superhuman where certain liquids don't work on him, so he's forced to stay awake. AND, OH MAN, YOU'RE GLAD YOU TOOK A PIC OF HIS FACE. Because, literally, all the colors depleted from him.

He will demand the doctors to have you inside the room and hold his hand. LIKE A PREGNANT LADY, HE WILL SQUEEZE YOUR HAND. He will shamelessly groan at the slightest bit of discomfort, causing the surgery to stop every minute. In the end, everyone decided to increase his sedative dosage. It knocked him out under a minute, and you're glad because your hands were stinging.

After the surgery, you guys moved into a room, and you patiently wait for your boyfriend to wake up. You scroll through Instagram, having his sleeping face in your story. You entertain several replies, especially Ran's, who is obviously laughing his ass off. You couldn't keep yourself from laughing too and probably snorted.

When he woke up, Rindou looked at you with bloodshot eyes. He looked trippy as fuck, trying to process the things he saw through the sedative high. You were in the corner, keeping your laugh as you open your phone to record him. He's reaching out for something, eyes following an invisible entity. You called for him, and he stared at you.

"How are you?"

"When did horses learn to talk?"

That's a low blow, an insult that burns you from the inside out, but you understood that he never meant any of it. He's still high, for Pete's sake, at least savor the moment. You turn your phone at him, keeping a close watch on his face. Mouth ajar, and bloodshot half-lidded eyes while he reaches out in the open air.

"Rindou," you called him, "Rindou, look at me."

Rindou turns at you, wailing his arms, "No talking to horses."

"I am your girlfriend, Rindou," you said, hiding behind your phone screen.

Rindou gasp, dramatically covering his mouth. He stared at you for a hot minute, and you stop yourself from howling a laugh from his face.

"Holy shit, you're right!" he puts up his arms, "Talking horse, where did you take my girlfriend!?"

"I'm right here, Rindou," you point to yourself.

He stared at you again, tracing something in the air. You were more concerned at this point, ringing Ran's number, and thanks to God, he accepts it in a flash. You talk to his brother while Rindou fought whatever it is at the moment. The nurses even came to check up on you because of how loud your boyfriend was, but you dismissed them by saying he was high.

"Rindou, your brother is coming to get us," you told him, pushing him down to sit on the bed.

"Don't touch me! My girlfriend will punch you in the face!"

"I am your girlfriend."

"You are a horse. A talking horse."

Rindou went home with a black eye.

[starboyten]

barriers - kj.w

jungwoo x reader feat. johnny

genre: fluff, humor

length: 2,008 words

warnings: like 2 curse words

a/n: italicized words will be dialogue in korean! also sorry if this kinda sucks lol

———————————————————————

You were irritated -- no, that’s not the word you’re looking for. You were frustrated, there it is, at this very moment. Well, actually, you’ve been pretty frustrated for the past couple of months now. All because of a stupid, adorable boy named Kim Jungwoo. There he was in the middle of the gymnasium, fooling around with puckered lips while the other members of NCT 127 try to avoid his advances on them. They were supposed to be practicing for their upcoming concert, but instead were running around chasing each other like kids on a playground. Your eyes trailed Jungwoo, chuckling as he engulfs Mark in a bear hug, the younger yelling in protest. You watched as Jungwoo’s lips smushed against Mark’s hands as Mark shoved him away, a whine leaving them in the process. His lips formed into a frown, and you felt yourself staring at them before a lumbering oaf, or so you called him, scared you shitless. 

“Whatcha starin’ at?” 

“Jesus Christ, Seo!” you exclaimed, clutching your chest as he pops into your line of vision. “You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack.”

He laughs and sits down on the ground next to you, stretching out his legs. He was probably exhausted from rehearsal, surprisingly opting out of being childish like the rest of his members.

Johnny was your best friend. Other than Mark and Jaehyun, he was the only one who could hold an actual intellectual conversation in English, because that’s the only language you could speak to them in.

You had met Johnny through a mutual friend. You were studying abroad in Korea and found out your roommate was interning for SM. She invited you to one of the company parties and that’s how you met him. The stupid boy whom you developed a crush on but could never talk to. If only you knew how to speak Korean, this wouldn’t be a problem. That was months ago, and to this day it’s still torturing you. 

“It looks like something’s on your mind. What’s eating you?” Johnny questioned, cocking his head to the side to look at your face.

“It’s nothing,” you said, looking down at your feet.

“Hey,” Johnny said. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” You looked at him and nodded. You were about to spill it all to the boy when the choreographer called for him. “Tell me later,” he said. “Promise?” Outstretching his long pinky to you. You smiled, interlocking your pinky with his.

-

You stand outside the door to Johnny’s room, foot tapping nervously. Knocking twice, you hear loud footsteps before the door opens, revealing Johnny in his pajamas, fresh with a facemask on.

“So what’s up?”

You sit down on his bed, peering over to Haechan, Johnny’s current roommate, passed out cold. Johnny notices and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, even if he was awake he’d be clueless.” You let out a sigh. 

“So I have a… predicament.”

“Hit me.”

You look down at the floor and pray to god Johnny can keep this secret for once in his life. Last time you told him a secret of yours he “accidentally” ended up telling Haechan, who, of course, just had to tell the rest of NCT Dream.

“Okay but you have to keep this a secret, Johnny, or else I’ll murder you. I was this close to ending your life after you “accidentally” told Haechan I peed the bed laughing too hard,” you glare, pinching your fingers close together. 

“You can’t muder me, you love me too much. Plus that was really funny I couldn’t not tell at least someone.”

You raise your hand threateningly at him and he just laughs and holds his hands up in defense. Sighing, you look down at your feet and let it spill past your lips. 

“I like Jungwoo.”

Johnny blinks, trying to comprehend your words. He shifts in his spot, sitting up so he’s cross-legged on the bed.

“Like, like as in you enjoy his presence or like as in you have a crush on him?”

You laugh at Johnny’s obliviousness. Shaking your head, you shove him.

“You’re so dense, Seo. I have a crush on him, stupid.”

Johnny’s mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape, nodding his head as he finally understands. He peels off the mask from his face and tosses it into the waste bin under your desk.

“And you’re upset about this because?”

“I wanna talk to him, Johnny. But I can’t speak Korean, obviously, and he only speaks a little broken English. You see my predicament now?”

He slowly nods, eyes looking up and away as if he’s thinking of what to do. 

“And I can’t exactly devote my time to fully study the language, as much as I would love to, I have school to focus on! I only know enough to get me around the city and to survive during my time here.” 

Johnny hums before shooting off the bed and onto his feet, fists in the air.

“I’ve got it!”

“Got what?” you question.

“The answer to your problem,” he grins. You raise an eyebrow incredulously at him, not convinced. 

“What genius plan have you concocted now?”

“Okay so,” he starts, sitting down on the bed and crossing his legs. “I, your best friend and the greatest and handsomest person in the world--”

“The point, Johnny.”

“Anyways….” Johnny begins. “I can act as your translator! You just tell me what to say and I’ll tell him.”

“Even if he, for some miraculous reason, liked me back, I couldn’t date him anyways. Your company would get pissed. And he wouldn’t even have time for a relationship.”

You continue to ramble on before Johnny shuts you up by placing his entire hand over your face. 

“You’re such a pessimist. It won’t work out with that attitude.” You pout up at him before sighing in defeat.

“Fine.”

“Perfect!” Johnny says standing up and striding towards the door. “You have two days to come up with something to say. Good night!”

“WHAT!” you shout as Johnny closes the door. You stare at the wall, collecting your thoughts. Shit, you’re in trouble.

-

Two days stressfully go by as you try to write down all of your thoughts onto paper to say to Jungwoo. 

“You absolutely cannot fuck this up,” you whisper to yourself as you wait for 127 to gather in the gymnsium again.

“You got this!” your roommate yells from her station. She sends you a thumbs up and you send her a weak smile in return. You’re shaking, and you continue to curse at yourself when you see the ink on your paper smudging form the sweat on your hands. 

You watch as 127 arrives one-by-one, nervously waiting for Johnny to arrive. As soon as you see him, you wave him over. He stands over you, hands on his hips.

“Well?” You shove the piece of paper in his hands. He gives it a quick look-over before covering his mouth and laughing.

“What?” you panic. “Is it too much?”

“No, it’s cute,” he chuckles. “I didn’t know you felt this way.”

“Shut up!” you punch his arm and pout. “I’m nervous, okay?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Johnny reassures you. You look past him to see the other members tiredly stretching, your eyes immediately landing on Jungwoo. You see him try to touch his toes, his sweatshirt bunching up around his waist, and you feel a fresh layer of sweat coat your skin.

“When are we doing this?”

“I’m going to try to get him in a better mood first,” Johnny says. “We’re all a bit tired right now.”

“Johnny, I'm about to go into cardiac arrest, don't make me wait too much longer.”

“Hey,” he says, putting his hand on your shoulder. “Just relax, this is gonna go fine.”

“How do you know that?” you question, but Johnny just gives you a smirk and runs off to join the other members before you can pry an answer out of him. 

Crouching down, you keep your eyes glued to the ground, counting down the seconds before you have to face your crush. 

- 

You’re almost dozing off by the time you hear footsteps approaching. Blinking and looking up, you’re met with two giant men standing over you, one being your best friend and the other being the person you like. It’s almost comical, the speed to which you get onto your feet. 

“Hi,” you gulp, trying to make eye contact with Jungwoo. You hope your face isn’t as red as it feels. 

“Hi!” Jungwoo replies cheerfully and you want to curl up into a ball and roll away far from where you are. 

“Y/n has something she wants you to read,” Johnny says. “Isn’t that right?” He looks directly at you, eyeing the paper in your hands.

“Oh!” you fluster, realizing what he means. “Yes.” You shove the piece of paper out towards Jungwoo, who looks taken aback. He takes it and looks at it before looking at Johnny, unsure of what to do.

“What is this?” Jungwoo questions.

“Just listen,” Johnny responds. 

You watch nervously as Jungwoo’s and Johnny’s eyes read over the paper. Johnny begins to read aloud. 

“I don’t really know how to begin this so I’ll just get straight to the point. I like you. But not in a fan like type of way. I mean in an ‘I want to be there for you all the time when you go through hardships and hold you when you cry. The person you go to when you need comfort. The person you stay up with watching dramas with until 2 in the morning. The person who gets to hug you everyday and calls you theirs.’”

You watch Jungwoo’s facial expressions while Johnny’s reading. His eyes are wide and you can’t tell if he’s shocked or panicking. You definitely are panicking.

“‘I understand if you don’t feel the same way because we’ve never really talked other than casual interactions but I just needed to let you know because I’ve been thinking too much about it lately and it’s causing me great amounts of stress keeping it to myself.’”

By the time Johnny finishes reading, Jungwoo’s face is beet red. You can’t tell if it’s a good or bad reaction and your insides feel like applesauce. 

“Now it’s Jungwoo’s turn,” Johnny says with a big grin. 

“W-What?” you question, looking at Johnny, your eyes saucers.

“Just listen. Go ahead.” He nods to Jungwoo and you watch as Jungwoo pulls a paper out of his pants pocket. Johnny clears his throat and reads.

“We’ve never really talked formally but I wanted to ask if you wanted to get food with me sometime and watch a movie together in the dorms? I think you’re very pretty and want to spend more time with you. I don’t have the guts to tell you this myself and my english isn’t that great so I’m having Johnny read this to you.”

You think your soul has left your body. He likes you back? Has Johnny been keeping this from you??

“So I’ll leave you two to it!” Johnny says before dashing off to the others. 

You stare at the floor in full disbelief. You don’t know where to look. After about 10 seconds of silence you muster up the ounce of courage in your body and look at Jungwoo. He mirrors your stance, eyes avoiding yours. Once you look at him though, he offers a small smile at you. 

“So...?” He says shyly. “Do you...?

You blink at him before realizing what he’s asking you.

“Oh! Yes!” Jungwoo gives you a toothy grin.

“Good!” he says before someone calls his name. You give him a shy wave as he runs back to join the rest of the group.

“So, how’d it go?” your roommate asks you as you plop down next to her. You hide your face in your hands, trying to contain the squeal that was threatening to erupt from you.

“Better than I could've ever imagined.”

[fuwafuwamedb]

A Stolen Wife Pt 2 (Gilgamesh, Hakuno, Ishtar)

Thus far: 1

___

He woke up first.

Unsurprising, since he was a king. It had always been his duty to wake up earlier than those in his company. It gave him the chance to note changes in a person’s demeanor. It gave him the chance to have his alone time, to take in the world around him without anyone getting in his way. The mind was best left to considerations and ponderings at this time and he was no different. His mind was focused wholly on changing his space.

He had a woman around.

He’d seen such actions with his soldiers and with his close advisors. When a man had a woman join him in his home, one of the first things to occur were décor changes. It was a manner from which a woman became comfortable in her environment. She would change a few pots and plants in the house. Perhaps she would grow something along the sills and fashion a new mead for the evening meals.

Soon, there would be new fabrics. He’d found that wives were often creatures of comforts. They liked cleanliness and order as wives. They preferred to have things fashioned into a structure and their husbands cared for in particular manners.

So, as he had his wife, he would need to show these signs.

It meant his room would alter. Things would be rearranged and his companion would need room for becoming comfortable.

His clothes were moved, several garments going back into the gates before he was evaluating the room again. Further clothing being moved would mean that he would have too little in options should he be weakened or wish not to waste his energy opening the gates.

Perhaps he needed to have his rooms expanded.

The rooms on the left and right of his own were nothing but storage. He could easily take the walls out to the left and right, repair the signs of the room being smaller, and add additional furnishings. Perhaps a fountain would be appropriate in here. The water would add a sense of life to the otherwise cold and inhuman facility.

Speaking of his wife, there was movement now.

She moved an arm. Then her head moved. His brunette was slowly moving to her side, pulling the blankets around herself a bit more.

Creature comforts. She seemed to enjoy the feel of his thick furs with their plush coats.

“Are you finally waking up?”

Those eyes closed tighter for a moment before he could see her looking over to him blearily. Slowly, she was awakening. Slowly, she was moving to sit up and rubbing at her eyes.

“Gilgamesh? What’s going on? What happened to that woman from before?”

Woman from before… did she mean that fool she’d been yelling at earlier?

“Gilgamesh-“

“The woman is gone. All of that world is gone.”

The brunette frowned at him, her eyes looking over the room.

“Welcome to Chaldea, humanity’s last defense against the problems that arise when magecraft tangles with the fabric of fate.”

“What happened to Tsukumihara Academy? Leo? Rin?”

He didn’t know what those things were, but they didn’t matter now, did they? He had removed her from that time and world. It would most likely cease to be, breaking apart at the seams and becoming destroyed.

“Gilgamesh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The woman stared at him, eyes wider. “You hate Leo. He sits in the council room. Rin looks like someone you know… or she acts that way. I don’t know. She has two twin tails that are a really dark brown, almost black. Tsukumihara Academy is where you saved me from being swallowed up by the darkness. We’re contrac-“

She paused as she looked at her hand.

“Are you looking for these?” Gilgamesh unbuttoned his shirt, presenting the red markings on his chest. “I have three of these command spells, I believe.”

“…wait.”

She was starting to panic, not a great sign for a woman he was going to claim as his own. The moving back against the headboard of his bed was also a bad sign.

Gilgamesh closed his shirt once more, buttoning it up once again.

“Calm yourself, these are simple command spells. You are still a mage and not a servant. I saved you while you were being stalked towards by a woman with purple hair-“

“BB.”

“Yes, well, I don’t care to entertain this. You’re becoming my wife.”

He may as well have told her that she was to be queen of Uruk for the look of shock that came over her. Her hands were gripping the furs of his bed further, her whole body tensing as she stared straight at him.

“Ah, I’m judging by your reaction that you are in awe of such a feat. I have looked at all of my contractors that I have had since I am in need of a companion and have chosen you. You’re far more amusing than any other, plus average enough. It is true I’m lowering myself to a point by choosing you, but I think you will come to show me the respect due.”

Nothing.

She stared at him further, her hand covering her mouth. Her eyes roamed over him, although it didn’t seem like a once over that a woman would give a man she intended to bed. It looked more like that of a woman seeing a beast descend, like she was looking for some sign of malady.

What was she thinking?

“…You have not introduced yourself,” Gilgamesh pointed out.

She blinked.

“Your name? Or do you need me to name you?”

“Hakuno. I’m Hakuno Kishinami. Which you should know already.”

“I have little time to care about my contractors, even less to remember their names and personalities. Hakuno, you are my wife now.”

“Why?”

Why?

Gilgamesh frowned at her.

She was being claimed as his wife. What did the reasoning behind this decision matter? She was being given an opportunity that would never occur for any other woman in the universe. A marriage exclusive. She would have him to herself. It was vulnerability. It was a humbling on his part. She could have had any personality. She could demand any single thing. He would be obliged as her husband to give it. That or kill her, which if she bothered him was possible.

“Gilgamesh-“

A knock was at the door, drawing their conversation to a stop.

“Oh stupid king,” Ishtar’s sing-songy voice rang out from the other side of the door. “Gudako’s planning to do experience grinding and wants all servants in the command room. You better hurry up.”

Hakuno frowned, her eyes going to him once again.

“I am a servant. You know this.”

“You have command spells though,” Hakuno pointed out.

He did. “Do not mention them to the others.”

“Why?”

Ishtar was pounding on his door again. He wasn’t sure why his master felt it appropriate to let the goddess harass him, but his respect for Gudako was falling by the minute. Gilgamesh moved closer to the bed to avoid having to speak up.

“Gil-“

“You are my wife. That is what is important at this time. Your job, as such, is to need me.”

The bemused look that came over that face was glorious. Dark, narrowed eyes, a pursing of the lips, a slight flare to her nostrils; she stared deep into the depths of his soul and showed every bit of a spine of steel.

Gilgamesh found himself snickering.

“You’re not funny.”

“I can be amusing,” he told her. “However, I am serious on this matter. My task for you is to need me. Change this room as you see fit. Demand things that bring you pleasure. You are to need and rely on me.”

“That’s a shitty wife.”

“Oh?”

“A wife should be a partner, someone who shares responsibility and stands at your side, not clings to your tacky zebra print shirt and cries for attention.”

The zebra print was fashionable…

Gilgamesh pulled another shirt from his gates, scoffing.

“Then you would rather be my contractor and my wife?”

“I was your contractor… And I don’t need a husband.”

“You have one anyway. The contracting will need discussion with Gudako.”

If anything, it would ensure that he wasn’t burned, but Gudako would be wary. Mages weren’t prone to appearing here, not as far as he was aware.

Ishtar was yelling one final time before he could hear her run off. Pest that she was, she wasn’t going to risk missing a meeting that Gudako had deemed vital for the servants.

“Come,” Gilgamesh offered his hand to the woman. “I need you dressed and I need to present you to my master before she finds out about you in some other manner.”

“I don’t like this.”

“You were brought here by me for the sole purpose of being with me. Bear that blessing and importance close as I bring you to that useless contractor of mine.”

He refused to let her leave his room until he had her adorned in jewelry to show her importance.

First impressions were vital, after all.

It was not every day that one presented their wife to their master and enemies.

[diabolikshu]

Shu Sakamaki Q&A: EP 2 (Part 1/2) (feat. Ruki Mukami)

If you didn't already know, Rumiko Asahara is Shu's manager. For more info please read my previous posts!!!

WARNING : THIS EPISODE CONTAINS A VERY DRUNK SHU

Enjoy! :)

---

Karlheinz: "Rumiko, I'm very displeased... You are not fulfilling your duties as Shu's manager. Is there something I need to know? Please tell me now."

Rumiko: "I'm truly sorry, Karlheinz-sama... Shu has been getting very creative with ignoring his duties."

Karlheinz: "Yes. I see that. I will arrange something... In the mean time you must get something out by Sunday. If I don't see any progress by then, we will have issues."

Rumiko: "I understand..."

Karlheinz: "That is all... You may leave."

Rumiko: *bows* "Please excuse me."

---

Setting: Downtown

Rumiko: *rustling in the bushes* "Come on, what is this beautiful slacker up to?..."

Rumiko: I've had to resort to following him around in a disguise in order to find the perfect time to interview him. Usually Sundays are considered his “days off” where I don't bother him, but that's just what he thinks. Karlheinz has been getting frustrated with my lack of content. I don’t care if I have to tie Shu to a chair. I can't get fired.

Rumiko: "Mm? He's meeting with someone?" *peers closer*

Ruki: "Do you hear something?" *looks around*

Rumiko: *quickly ducks down* Ah, so it's a Mukami. This is new, I never knew Shu and Ruki have ever spoken much... M-Maybe they're gay???!! *Nosebleeds a little*.

Shu: "Yea I did hear something... From my experience it's probably something troublesome... Let's hurry and get to the bar."

Ruki: "Yea."

Girl A: "Wow~! Who are those guys? They're so sexy!"

Girl B: "You wanna follow them and see what they're up to?"

Girl A: "You read my mind! I'm going for the dark haired one if that's okay with you."

Girl B: "Yea go ahead. I like blondes anyways."

Rumiko: Tch, I can't let these girls get in my way... I'll stand back for now but if they try anything, I'm stepping in.

*Shu and Ruki open the bar door*

*Girl A and Girl B enter the bar right behind them*

Girl A: "Thank you, you're so swee—!" *door slams in her face*

Rumiko: *holds mouth trying to avoid laughing*

Girl B: "Are you okay?!"

Girl A: "Y-Yea... I just thought they were gonna hold the door open for us or something. Like we were right behind them, didn’t they see us?"

Girl B: "Your nose is bleeding! Let's get you to a bathroom to clean yourself up."

*Rumiko follows close behind*

Rumiko: Ugh, her blood smells horrific... Smells almost like... Like... a rusted old boat anchor or something. Metallic and a slight fishy smell... Lets hope Shu and Ruki don't find that appealing. *pulls shirt over her face*

The girls pass Shu and Ruki who are sitting at the bar and rush to the bathroom to clean the nosebleed. Rumiko sits at the other end of the bar, watching closely.

Ruki: "Do you smell that?"

Shu: "Yea, I do. Someones blood."

*Shu and Ruki look around the bar for the culprit*

Shu: "It smells like a..."

Rumiko: Please don't say a delicious steak or something.

Shu/Ruki: "...An old boat anchor."

Rumiko: *sigh in relief*

Ruki: "...Let's go to that other bar with the billiard room. This smell is giving me a headache."

Shu: "That place is usually very crowded though."

Ruki: "Who cares. This smell is killing me."

Shu: "...Fine, I guess."

*Ruki, Shu, and Rumiko leave the bar*

---

Setting: Bar #2

Rumiko: I hope those girls didn't find out where we went.

Ruki: "Two beers please."

Shu: "And a shot of vodka neat."

Ruki: "So, you're trying to get wasted?"

Shu: "I can handle my liquor... I’ve had a rough week anyways."

Rumiko: Rough week? All he did to my knowledge was sleep... Is there something going on that I don't know?

Ruki: "Alright, whatever you say. But I'm not cleaning up after you."

Shu: "Clean up after me? Heh, I can handle myself."

Rumiko: I've seen Shu get drunk once before. He is a lot more talkitive in those moments. It's the perfect time for me to get an interview in!

Ruki: “So what’s going on with your old man?”

Shu: *sigh* “He’s got this woman following me all the time. She is being paid to put all of my private information online so I can like connect with my fans or something...”

Bartender: “Here you go gentlemen.”

Shu: *takes the shot of vodka and washes it down with beer*

Ruki: “I mean you're the eldest... It's expected.”

Shu: “Yea... Whatever... I think he’s got a girl following Subaru and Ayato as well actually.”

Ruki: “I bet they’re enjoying that.”

Shu: “Ayato went up to me and asked how my prostitute was... I had no idea what he was talking about until I realized he’s having sex with the girl that’s supposed to be his manager. The idiot thinks that our father bought us personal escorts... I didn’t have the energy to explain to him what is actually was. I’ll let him have his fun until he realizes everything personal of his is on the internet now."

Ruki: “He’s so naive... But you know the more you slack off, the more work you'll have to do later on. You might as well give your manager what she wants even if it’s like answering just one question a day. You don’t even have to say the truth.”

Shu: “Two more vodka shots neat.”

Ruki: “I’m gonna have to carry you home at this rate.”

Shu: “...Maybe.” *finishes both shots and stands up* “Let’s play pool.”

Shu gets the cue sticks and they start playing.

Ruki: "Shu, you're holding the cue wrong."

Shu: "Huh?"

Ruki: "Turn it around."

Shu: "...I know that." He drunkenly snickers to himself.

Rumiko: This is probably a good time to make a move.

Rumiko: "May I join you two?"

Ruki: *looks over confused* "Uh... Who are you?"

Shu: "Tch, why are you here? It's my day off."

Rumiko: "I know, I know. I was only here to grab a drink. This was only a coincidence that we ran into each other. I won't try anything funny, I swear."

Ruki: "I take it that you're the famous manager?"

Rumiko: "Rumiko Asahara, nice to meet you. I've heard good things about you from Karlheinz, Ruki."

Ruki: "Nice to meet you too. Here." *Gives Rumiko cue stick*

Rumiko: I have to ask Shu questions without him knowing it's another interview. This is going to be awkward. I have memorized all of the family questions. Maybe I can ask Ruki some questions as well so it's not too directed towards Shu. I don't want him to get too suspicious.

---

For Part 2 please share and like. I will post the second part once I see that people are reading. Thank you 💕

[jungkookienoona]

The Meme And His Tutor

Part 47: The Day The Tutor Went Shopping With Jaehi

Co-written with @jiminieblush

Recommended Song: favOriTe by LOOΠΔ

|Masterlist|

Summary:

After a comment about how barren your apartment was, you decided to make it homely and go shopping with Jaehi. She had her own errand to do.

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing, implied bondage, implied usage of sex toys.

Word Count:4325

Length: 47/?

"Miri! Come on baby girl!"

You shrugged on your coat while waiting for the little pupper to join you at the door. Her nails clicked against the hardwood flooring as she approached, but was suddenly interrupted by a loud clanging sound. What the fuck?

Dropping your shoes, you ventured further into the apartment and noticed Miri picking herself up off the floor, a metal soda can by her side. You sighed; trust Taehyung to forget to tidy up all of his cans of drink from the night before. He could be surprisingly messy when he wanted to be. You sighed and proceeded to put the cans in recycling. Yes, you enjoyed having Bangtan come to visit and most times they cleaned up after themselves. But sometimes you just wanted to shoo them out the door. Like when Jin brought up the homeliness of your apartment. Especially the empty corner of your living area.

Upon moving in, you'd set up a cheap bookshelf to display the few books that didn't fit on the shelf above your desk. On top was a fake orchid, that had began to droop with its own weight, and a picture frame with no picture it in. It looked rather pathetic, though you didn't pretend to be the best interior designer in the world.

Jin's comment had stemmed from Yoongi half-heartedly joking about you needing another couch in order for everyone to sit comfortably when they visited. That then spiralled as everyone felt the need to comment on what you could do to make your place look less like a pop-up showroom from Ikea and more like a lived-in home. You knew their words were not intended to be insults and you didn't take them as such. You had been so caught up in Jungkook, university and Operation D that decorating your home was the last thing on your mind.

Miri trotting over to you carrying her lead in her mouth drew you from your thoughts. You must've left it by the door after hearing the commotion in the kitchen. Clipping it to her collar, you stuffed your feet into your Timbs and headed out for a quick walk around the neighbourhood.

You opened your front door with a sleeping Miri carried under one arm. The poor thing having used up her energy when you stopped at a nearby dog park. It was nice to see her getting along with her own kind. You took her into your bedroom, placed her on the foot of the bed and went back into the hallway to take off your coat and shoes.

Heading into your kitchen, you grabbed a drink and connected your phone to your Bluetooth speakers wanting some music to fill the silence. Just as you were about to lock your phone, it buzzed with a text.

Oh! It was Jaehi!

'I'm bored. Wanna go shopping with me?'

You groaned, feet aching from chasing Miri to get her back on her lead after letting her loose to play.

‘Now?’

As if on cue, your stomach growled. The alarm Jungkook had set before falling asleep decided not to go off this morning, leaving you rushing to get Jungkook out the door before he had management calling him. As soon as he had gone, you'd got ready yourself to take Miri out and forgotten to eat.

‘In an hour or so?’

Perfect.

‘Sounds like a plan!’

The two of you arranged a time and place to meet, and then you set about cooking a late breakfast. Hopefully your pancakes wouldn't turn into crumpets again. You never really understood how you accomplished that feat in the first place.

You felt too lazy to make the batter from scratch like you normally did so you grabbbed a batter mix out of a cupboard along with eggs and milk from the fridge.

They were a success; perfectly golden brown on either side and thick enough that they were fluffy inside. You held back tears of success. Quickly slicing up some bananas, you smeared chocolate over the hot little clouds before topping them off with the banana pieces. You took the plate into the living room, pausing your music so you could watch some TV. There wasn't much interesting on, only a drama that you had seen a few episodes of but never completed. Not that it mattered much anyway considering you were far too distracted to pay attention.

What could you do to make your home more homey?

You eyed up the empty corner. Because of the layout you couldn't exactly see the TV from over there which was why you never really bothered with that area. Maybe you could turn it into a Miri area... But she didn't exactly need that much space. Her bed was visible from the sofa and her food near the kitchen. A few toys were dotted around the place. Maybe you could get a proper basket to keep them contained. But a basket would only fill a tiny section of space. You needed something bigger. And then it hit you. Maybe you could make it into a 'chill zone'. You could even move your guitar to over there. The only other thing was seating... another sofa would not only be too expensive, but too far away to be completely social.

Hmm, you'd have to have a search when you're out shopping. Jaehi might even have a suggestion.

'I'm outside.'

You put away the last item of your washing up, a mixing bowl, before slipping on your shoes and coat and grabbing your mini rucksack. Miri was still asleep but you'd refreshed her water and refilled her food, not quite sure what time you would be home.

Jaehi was leaning against a lamppost, eyes on the phone in her hand. You called out to her as you approached and grinned when her eyes lit up.

"Unnie!"

You walked towards the closest bus stop together, discussing what you'd been up to that morning and where you planned to shop.

"I need to decorate and stuff, you?"

Jaehi shrugged. "I just want to hang out. Maybe pop into a few stores. There's one that Goseong has asked me to visit to pick up a couple things..." She trailed off, cheeks lightly dusted pink.

"What's that?"

It wasn't any of your business, but she couldn't trail off all embarrassed like that and not expect you to ask.

"Nothing important!" Her quick response had you suspicious. You went to delve deeper when she cut you off with a nervous giggle. "Ha, I'll tell you later."

She gave a slight nod towards the handful of people waiting in the bus shelter a few metres away. You didn't push further, already having the slightest hint.

She cleared her throat, "So... uh, why are you wanting to decorate?"

"The guys said it wasn't very homey and there wasn't enough seating. But I can't afford another sofa nor do I have space for one."

"Why don't you buy cushions? It was the traditional seating for meals and all."

You tried to picture how the space would look with a few cushions on the floor.

"I'm afraid it'll still feel empty..."

Jaehi cupped her chin as she thought some more.

"Goseong's housemate has bean bags in his room for when they play console games together."

Immediately you could picture a bean bag beside the bookcase. Something you could chill in while reading.

"That might work..."

Jaehi took out her phone. "I'll text Goseong to see if he can find out where his housemate got his from. It'll save us from searching loads of shops."

You gave her a thankful smile and ducked inside the bus shelter to check how long you would have to wait for the next bus. It was due meaning it would arrive in the next two minutes or so. Or maybe that's just how buses were in England... You still had so much to learn, but was slowly beginning to settle in to your new life in Korea.

Jaehi tapped on your shoulder to get your attention before pointing at the bus that was coming around the corner. Huh, strangely punctual. Very different to how buses back home seemed to come either super early or really fucking late. You remembered one particular time when you needed to get to college and the bus was an hour late...

Jaehi led the way onto the bus, strategically worming her way through the small crowd of people boarding the bus. You tapped your bus pass to the scanner and took a seat near the back. The two of you chatted about your course while you waited for your stop: the subway.

"-I don't understand why the group projects are necessary," Jaehi sighed, slumping against your shoulder. "It's a waste of time and not a true reflection of everyone's work."

You smiled, grateful she happened to share the same sentiments as you. "It's a good job we don't have many to work on through the semester."

She nodded in agreement. "I'm shotgunning you for any and all group projects since you're older and therefore wiser."

Your eyebrows shot up into your hairline. "Wise my ass!"

She scoffed, "Are you joking?"

You shrugged, cheeks tinting under her wide eyes. Wise? You weren't wise. Sure, you had a lot to say in class sometimes. But that was because some students and their opinion rubbed you the wrong way. Making a comment that added value to the conversation was one thing, but saying something for attention or in an attempt to be funny was just plain foolish.

"I just say things that make the most logical sense. Not everything has to be controversial to be thought provoking."

"And that is very wise."

You rolled your eyes at her grin. "Who says I want to partner with you for all group projects anyway?"

"Your social awkwardness."

You couldn't argue. Even if you weren't avoiding a lot of social interaction due to the unwanted attention that came from dating Jungkook, you would have still been wary about making friends and partnering up for a project. Hel,l all you had to do was look back on your college days to be reminded of how your social anxiety became crippling when the word 'team' was mentioned.

"But I'm possibly the least socially awkward person around," she said and reached over to press the button signalling you wanted the bus to stop. "Which means we balance each other out and therefore make a good team."

You smiled at her and ruffled her hair, much to her annoyance.

The two of you perused the markets together before heading towards the more modern high streets. It made you feel a little awkward since you were used to holding Jungkook's hand while out and about. You stuck as close to Jaehi's side as possible, holding onto her bag strap whenever someone brushed by too close. She didn't seem to mind being the buffer.

Earlier on in your time living in Korea, Jungkook had already introduced you to how certain stores would have large items delivered to you. A little tidbit of information you had a feeling would be coming in pretty handy for this shopping trip.

"Where are we heading first?" You asked, not familiar with the street you walked down.

"I'm still waiting for Goseong to reply, but there's a furniture shop at the next intersection. We could see if they sell bean bags until he gets back to me."

You carried along slightly behind her until an idea came to mind.

"Jaehi, you said you had something to pick up for him. Why don't we do that first?"

She shook her head. "No, no. It's fine."

"No, I insist. My shopping will probably take longer and I'd feel bad about dragging you around all day."

After one more glance at her phone she sighed. "Sure...I guess we could do that."

Why did she seem so reluctant? Was it something you said? Or was it something to do with what she had to pick up? You didn't have a chance to ask as she took the lead once more and started in the direction of a narrow side street. You felt like you recognised the street. Had you come down here before?... You wracked your brain trying to remember. You had. You had been down this street before. With Chubs! When you went to the-

"We're here."

You felt your cheeks heating.

"Uh..."

Jaehi's hands found the crook of your elbow and pulled you over towards the wall.

"So, you totally don't have to come inside if you don't want to. I'll be super quick. I prom-"

"It's okay."

Jaehi's eyes went wide. "You sure? I know we're not super close yet and I don't want to weird you out already."

"I'm actually quite honored you felt comfortable enough with me to come this far. So I don't mind going in there with you."

Please God let there be no-one who recognised you from your last trip there. There was something in the way she smiled that made you suspicious about why she might enjoy this. But nonetheless you followed her up the stairs to the shop. Reaching the top of the steps your drops. Oh no. The woman that sold you the dildos was in.

A chorus of "Nice to see you again," greeted your ears.

You and Jaehi looked at each other, both confused at the thought of the other having been to a SEX SHOP before. Your lips twitched, threatening to smile. Jaehi brought a hand to her mouth, coughing awkwardly. Neither of you knew whether to laugh or cry.

The lady that served you last time and the one that recognised Jaehi approached the two of you.

"So, how are you enjoying those dildos you purchased?"

"And Jaehi, how are you doing with the restraints you bought? Goseong broken them yet?"

It was impossible to hold back the laughter any longer. Jaehi, too, burst into giggles. The two sales assistants even joined in.

"That's actually why I'm here," Jaehi said after calming down, "They weren't strong enough."

The sales assistant's jaw dropped. "Were you being too rough on him? I told you he might not have been ready for a bigger attachment."

Your sales assistant seemed to sense your confusion.

"A strap-on attachment, honey." Your eyes widened."Do you need anything or are you just accompanying Jaehi?"

"I...uh... I was thinking of buying some... lingerie..."

She looked between you and Jaehi before smirking. "Say no more. Follow me."

Towards the back of the store, away from all the toys, was a section dedicated purely to lingerie  and...costumes.

"So, are you looking for a new bra and panties set? Or something a bit more exciting?"

You mulled the question over. "Not just a bra...something...special."

A devious look came to her eye. "Something special? I think we have a few things you might be interested in."

Your cheeks burned when she gestured to a selection of latex and PVC bodysuits.

"Are these more like it?”

You ran your fingers over the material. "As much as he would love this, I think it's a bit much."

"So something more subtle?"

She stepped back, drawing you towards another rack.

"It's for our first time," you admitted, "I want something to make me feel more confident..."

"I see~ How much skin are you willing to show?"

You already had an idea of what you wanted. "Do you have something that would show off my legs? He loves my legs and butt."

She giggled and nodded before picking what looked to be a very short dress off a rack.

"This is a baby doll style. You can get them in pretty much every design and style whether that's something a little bit more revealing such a this:" She gestured to the one she held, slipping her hand between the fabric to show that the cups were open to allow the breasts to hang freely. You shook your head and she swapped it for a baby pink satin one. "Or, you can be more modest."

You scrunched your nose at the choice of colour. But you liked the design.

"Do you have that in a different colour?"

"Of course, sweetie, any preference?"

"Uh... we both like red and black."

She quirked a brow. "I can work with that. Red, the colour of heat and passion. Black, the colour of sophistication."

She walked further down the wall and motioned you over. The boutique didn't just stock it it plain black or red, but also in a mix of the two. You immediately pointed to that one. The cups and halter neck straps were blood red while the skirt was black.

"Ah~ the halter neck A-line. Good choice. Modest yet confident and sexy. It should suit you well."

She helped you find your correct size before taking it to the till point so she could get it packed up ready. You weren't expecting her to make idle chit-chat.

"How are you finding the 8 incher? Your boyfriend must be worried he won't compare size wise since you've been using that."

You awkwardly scratched the back of your neck. "More like it would reassure him."

Her jaw dropped. "No! He can't be... Jesus. You have been gifted.”

"Or punished."

She chuckled. "I wish you luck finding out."

"8 fucking inches?!" Jaehi's surprised voice from beside you made you startle. "8. Fucking. Inches?!" She repeated.

"Yeah..."

"Have you choked on that dick yet?"

Oh god. You were blushing.

"Uhm, not yet. I've been...cautious."

"Fair enough."

You swallowed and eyed the set of cuffs on the till point in front of her.

"So... Goseong is into... buttstuff... wouldn't of pegged him as the type." You were going to hell for that pun.

Jaehi grinned shamelessly. "That's not even the worst of it."

Your sales assistant cleared her throat, "You said it'll be your first time with your boyfriend? Are you both virgins or...?"

You felt your cheeks heat up. "Um... he is, I'm not."

Jaehi gasped then tutted, "He's not going to last long then."

You noticed your sales assistant reach under the counter and pick something up, scanning it.

"You poor thing. Since we're having a stock clearance on these fleshlights, I'll throw it in for free. It trains a man to last longer."

You looked at the golden box, stuttering out a thank you. You paid for your items and waited for Jaehi to pay for her items. The sales assistant wished the two of you luck as you left the store.

The two of you spent the rest of the day searching and buying items for your apartment, Goseong having sent Jaehi the name of the shop he got his bean bag from. He even offered to pick you and Jaehi up so you wouldn't have to struggle with your shopping on public transport. The department store needed to order in the bean bag, the red one you wanted not being in stock, and so would be delivered to your apartment later on in the week.

You made sure to thank Goseong as he helped you put your shopping in the car. He was so nice. You could understand why he and Jaehi were together. Watching them together was the sweetest. You still couldn't believe they were kinky.

Back at home, you began filling the bare corner. Miri's toys were now in a little wicker basket she could dig her nose in to find her favourite. Before leaving, Jaehi and Goseong helped you to assemble a new non-wonky Ikea bookshelf upon which you were re-stacking your collection of books and knick knacks. A knock on your door followed by the sound of tapping on your door keypad had you startled, having not expected a guest.

It could only be one person.

"Jagi? It's me!"

You spun around to greet him but the sight of him had you standing there speechless.

"Jagi?..."

Red... His hair was red...

"Do you like it?"

You took slow steps towards him as your brain processed the new image, Jungkook moving forward to meet you halfway. Your hand came up and carded through his hair, its softness surprising you.

You gulped. You thought his black hair was sinful but this... this was...

"...Hot..."

His hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling it from his hair and entwining your fingers together.

"H-hot?"

You coughed awkwardly, only just realising you had spoken aloud. You had to cover yourself.

"Hot pink? Really Kookie?"

His grin dropped.

"Pink? It's not pink! It's a fiery red!"

You chuckled, "How is it red?! Its a vibrant dark pink!" You gave his hair a teasing tug.

His hands came to wrap around your waist as he rested his head on you shoulder and huffing in annoyance. The feeling of his breath on your neck sent a shiver shooting through you.

"I wanted red but the bleach lightened it..." he mumbled.

"It suits you very much," you admitted, "You've done red before. Pink is different."

His bunny grin appeared in full force. "Really?"

You nodded. "Somehow it makes you look mature and youthful at the same time. Is it permanent?"

"Semi."

"So it'll fade to a peachy pink?"

He nuzzled your cheek. "You're obsessed with peaches."

"That's because I am one."

You yelped when a palm met your ass with a smack.

Jungkook pulled back to smirk at you. "Firm peach."

You pulled away from him with a giggle.

"Or should I say juicy peach?"

"Jungkook!"

"Such a tempting peach but alas, it is not ready to enjoy."

Your cheeks burned with his insinuation but it made you remember something.

"Oh! I bought a gift for you today?"

"Really?"

You hummed in agreement and gestured to the sofa. He sat down as you grabbed the 'gift' from your bedroom. You had made sure to hide your lingerie with your dildos, not wanting Jungkook to see it before it was time.

You held the gift behind your back, keeping it out of his sight until you stood in front of him. You revealed it with a 'Tada~!'. He was a picture of confusion, slowly taking the box from you and scanning it. You pointed to the back where the rather brief description was.

His eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Noona?!"

A part of you wanted to laugh but you were mostly embarrassed.

"I uh... I felt bad for your wrist. It must be getting tired and I'm not ready to relieve it of its duties. So-"

"YOU GOT ME A GOLDEN FLESHLIGHT!"

"...For my golden maknae."

To your surprise, his hands found the back of your thighs and pulled you down onto his lap, wrapping you in a hug.

"I can't believe you got me a fucking fleshlight."

He was... happy?

"I'm glad you like it-"

"I love it! I can take it on tour with me! I'll think of you-"

You slapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't say stuff like that!"

He cocked an eyebrow and gently moved your hand away. "I'll have to get something for you."

You shook your head not really knowing what to say.

"Where did you even get this from? Did you order it or something?" He continued.

"Uh... Jaehi took me shopping today and she went to an... adult shop and I didn't want to wait outside. These were on sale."

He nodded in understanding before suddenly frowning. "Wait, Jaehi as in your nice friend Jaehi I met that time?"

"Uh huh. She kinky."

His eyes widened, muttering something under his breath that you didn't catch. He was quick to move on, glancing over your shoulder and frowning.

"Is that the same bookshelf?"

You shook your head. "I got it today. I wanted to make this place more homey."

Jungkook awed and placed a kiss on your temple.

"I thought about what Yoongi said about needing more seats so I ordered some beanbags."

"Some?"

"Okay one... for me... Jaehi convinced me to buy floor pillows. Like the ones you use in certain Run episodes."

You pointed to the space beside the bookshelf where you’d stacked the cushions while not in use.

Jungkook nodded. "That type of seating doesn't take up much space so that's understandable."

You buried your nose in his neck, breathing in the scent of his jumper. It was always so comforting.

"Will you be spending the night?"

"I can't," he sighed, "I have interviews and stuff."

You pouted. His schedule was gruelling and you missed waking up to him, cuddling up to his warmth.

"I'll have to make the most of you while I have you then."

Jungkook's eyes lit up mischievously.

"But no sexual stuff. No bumping uglies in any way!"

"Hey! I'm only interested in that stuff when you are. I'm not with you to 'bump uglies'. I'm with you because I love you as you are - a beautiful, memey, grey-ace, caring soul."

Cupping his cheeks you placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"And I love you too."

"Wanna watch some anime or a movie?"

"When do you have to go back? Because I recently discovered this awesome new anime series and I need you to watch it."

Jungkook clapped as his eyes lit up. You giggled as you hopped off his lap to fetch your remote. Meanwhile, he made himself comfy on the sofa by laying down, once again pulling you to him once you were in reach.

"I'm glad you like the hair Jagi. I was afraid you'd hate it."

"Its your hair. I have no say in what you do with it."

"I value your opinion, though."

You ruffled his soft locks. "As long as your scalp isn't burning and you're happy with it then I'm happy, baby."

"Bet you think I look like an anime protagonist."

You pecked him on the lips, "Yup. My bunny hero."

A/N: I would really appreciate it if you supported me on Kofi. Even if its just a little amount it will make a huge difference.

[peaky-yamyam]

Neighbours - Part Ten: Tommy Shelby

The Introductions

Part One | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven |

- Warning for racist comments -

My mother returns from America full of stories and gifts, her face bright and excited while father and I sit opposite her nodding along.

“So Georgiana, is there anything new with you?” she says, finally turning to me, her perfect eyebrows raised. I know what she’s really asking, ‘have you found yourself a man’ and my blood boils.

“Well, I promoted the new chambermaid,” I reply, adamant that I won’t give her the satisfaction of telling her about Tommy yet - not that she’ll be overly impressed with my choice in possible partner anyway.

“Good, anything-”

“And my horses have all had their foals, I have buyers lined up for them already. Should make a pretty penny.”

“Fantastic, what about-”

“I’ve found a new car as well, beautiful, cream and black, leather interior. Absolutely stunning, Jones has offered to drive me to collect it next week.” Her face shadows and she admits defeat. “Oh and I’ve made a new friend… a male friend, a handsome male friend with lots of money and power,” I add with smile, tone laced with innuendo.

“Oh Georgiana! You’ll have to tell me all about him!” she almost squeals, clapping her hands together and grasping at my father’s knee in excitement. I can see the glint behind her eyes at the prospect I may finally be heading towards the only path she considers worthy of following: getting married and having childre. “Well, what’s his name?” she prompts.

“Thomas Shelby,” I declare confidently, striding from the room. “He’s coming to dinner later so I best go and get ready. It’s good to have you back mother.”

I rush from the room and hover out of sight for a moment to hear her response. I can picture her sat, hand clenched on my father’s knee as her mind runs rampant, and I can’t help but smile at my small victory.

“Did you know about this?” she hisses at my father.

“I, ummm, yes. In fact I was the one who invited him…”

“You did what!”

“He seems like a decent chap, just give him-”

“The gypsy gangster from the Birmingham slums, sitting at our dining table, eating our food, fornicating with our daughter! I don’t think so!”

I knew it wouldn’t take long for her to rile me, but perhaps this is a new record. I catch Jess walking towards the laundry, arms full of washing and gesture her over. I’ve tried to warn her about my mother, but this feels like a perfect opportunity to really demonstrate why she makes me so angry.

“I don’t know how you can accept this! He is a commoner, a gangster, a - oh goodness me, what if she’s pregnant?” my mother rants.

I raise my eyebrows to Jess, ‘see what I mean?’, and she smiles.

“I hardly think that’s likely, she’s seen him unaccompanied for one evening-”

“She’s been unaccompanied with him! Oh good heavens! This is all too much- I think I need a lie down.”

I scramble to turn Jess around and hurry her off back towards the laundry with a request that she comes to me when she’s finished, before sprinting up the stairs two at a time to avoid having to explain my eavesdropping to my mother.

Jess helps me chose an outfit and we settle on a pale pink dress, so pale in fact that it’s practically see through save for the intricate gold and sky blue embroidery the covers it. I decide to wear one of my more lavish step-ins underneath, one almost as complexly decorated as the dress. It’s low cut - has to be to stay hidden - and sits tight against me meaning the dress flows beautifully over my body, the beaded sheer hem dancing around my ankles.

I opt for a simple headband, pinned behind my ears so that it falls across my forehead and decide to forgo a pair of gloves. Jess has curled and styled my hair so that it sits at the nape of my neck, much like the fashionable style of the day.

“You look amazing,” Jess coos brushing off my dress one more time.

“I can assure you that my mother will not feel the same way…”

She pauses and looks over my shoulder into the mirror, “and Mr Shelby?”

“We’ll see,” I reply with a smile, making one last check of my hair and makeup before leaving my room for dinner.

We’re drinking champagne in the drawing room when Tommy arrives, everyone else is already here, although he isn't more than a few minutes late and when I get to nod from Jess, I rush out into the hallway to greet him.

As our eyes meet, there's a moment where we both freeze, each taking in the sight of the other and if I thought Tommy was handsome before, he looks absolutely incredibly tonight; donned in a sleek black three-piece, his hair is neatly styled and his shoes are highly polished. After a few seconds he regains himself and saunters towards me.

“Lady Georgiana.”

“Mr Shelby.”

We shake hands and Tommy leans in to kiss my cheek.

“I hope you're ready for this,” I whisper.

“I'm sure it won't be the worst dinner I've sat through,” he replies, straightening himself up as we get ready to walk to the drawing room.

“Well I've managed to organise it so that you're sitting by me at the dinner table, no small feat I can tell you that-” Tommy raises his eyebrow in a silent question so I explain, “My mother isn't overjoyed at our new found friendship, and she's incredibly strong willed when it comes to things like this.”

“I did wonder where you got it from,” he drawls, small smirk lighting his face and I can't help but blush.

“Very funny Thomas, but you have no idea what she's like… As I was saying I've wangled it so you're sitting by me, and for the rest of the time don't leave my side and everything will be… bearable.”

“For me, or for you?” he asks, stopping so he can face me before we enter the room, his gaze so intense that for a moment, I get lost in them, drowning in the icy pools. He must know what he does to me because he smiles and continues walking, leaving me rushing a few steps behind to catch up.

“Bearable for both of us,” I say finally. “Keep to the edge of the room, pretend we’re having an in depth discussion about something, keep quiet and don't make eye contact.”

“If I'd have realised we were going bear baiting I'd have worn something more appropriate,” he jokes, watching as I pour us both a drink - much to the disgust of Mr Lysle.

“You might you think you're being funny Tommy, but I would rather fight a bear than have to sit through this meal. In fact I'd rather take this ice pick and hack out both my eyes than sit through it.”

Tommy lets out a low chuckle and takes the ice pick from my hand that’s raised for effect and pointed towards my face.

“Point everyone out to me then,” he asks.

“Just address everyone as Lord or Lady, you’re a guest as much as them so there’s no need for formalities.”

Tommy raises an eyebrow at me, “Lord and Lady not formal enough for them?”

“Not even close, but that doesn’t matter,” I explain, waving him off. “Right, those two men over there-” I point to the far corner of the room where two younger men stand deeply engaged in conversation while their wives chatter beside them, “- are Lord James Cromley and Lord Edward Compton, the blonde woman next to them is Cromley’s wife, Lady Katherine and the redhead with the bobbed hair is Lady Rose, she’s newly married to Compton although they were engaged for an age before hand. She’s a very good friend of mine actually. Those four are our only allies in this room.”

Rose catches me pointing them out to Tommy and waves enthusiastically.

“Rose is an angel, my father knows now that the only way to keep my sitting through one of these is to make sure she's invited.”

“And The Lady Katherine?”

“Pleasant but timid, very old fashioned in how she holds herself and she generally lets James speak for her, but she’s a good egg. Those older gentlemen there, talking to my father will concern themselves very little with us but just so you know, they're The Earl of Dudley and The Earl of Godolphin. Both pleasant enough, both boring and both so backwards I want to scream. Their wives are over there talking to my mother-” I point to the gaggle of women conversing in the corner. “I'll introduce you to them later. And finally my two very favourite people, Lord Peter Whitley and Lord Francis Derby.” I turn to the other side of the room and motion to two men in their forties lounging on the settees as if this house were their own. Unfortunately they spot me and waste no time in making their way over to us.

“You ready?” I ask Tommy, popping my glass on the side table. He nods and copies me, freeing his hands to shove in his pockets.

“Lady Georgiana, you look ravishing as always,” Whitley greets, pulling me close into him and pressing a lingering kiss to my cheek.

A man of slightly short stature, so greedy, lustful and selfish he seems to have embodied the traits, pompousness seeping from every pore and permeating the air around him. His skin is redder and more blotchy than the last time I saw him, the tip of his nose purple and his increasing waistline has caused him to walk with a slightly awkward gait.

“Lord Whitley, this is Mr Thomas Shelby. Tommy this is Lord Whitley and Lord Derby,” I gesture to the other man who, although less boisterous than Whitley and less a slave to his sins, still carries the same air to him. And still makes my skin crawl in equal measures.

“Pleasure to meet you gentlemen,” Tommy says, shaking both their hands.

“I wish I could say the same to you Mr Shelby, but anyone who takes my Georgiana’s attention isn't someone I tend to get along with,” Whitley says and although I know he's trying to play it off as a joke, his eyes say otherwise. I turn away to grab my drink, my hand lingering over the ice pick as I debate ramming it into Whitley’s pompous fucking face. Tommy notices and pushes it away from me with a smile, grabbing his own drink and turning back around.

“Mr Shelby lives next door, he keeps race horses too don't you Tommy?” I say, deciding to ignore Whitley’s comment.

“Mmm, yes. I do, although none are as successful as Lady Georgiana’s.”

“I wouldn't have thought so, no. Although, I didn't think racehorses were a gypsy thing?” Whitley replies, his bulbous face contorted into a smug grin as if he's made the most ingenious dig at Tommy's heritage.

“They're not. Not ones bought from auction and trained anyway...” Tommy replies without missing a beat.

“Georgiana said you live next door, that’s an impressive house. I imagine you'd never seen somewhere so big growing up?” Derby adds, taking the distasteful gypsy joke baton from a floundering Whitley.

“Never saw a house actually. In fact, me and my brothers used to have to sleep out under the stars most nights. Lots of cold winters growing up,” Tommy says, his tone dry but his eyes playful.

“Sounds utterly horrid. And err… how is it that you came to find yourself experiencing such a change of fortune Mr Shelby?” Derby asks, smugness undented by Tommy's previous reply. He glances to me as if he's caught Tommy out, as if when Tommy alludes to the things he does I'll gasp and clutch at my chest, declaring him unwelcome in this house. I stare Derby down, picturing in my mind the immense satisfaction I’d gain from punching him in the face.

“Well Lord Derby, I’ve cornered the market in lucky heather.”

“Ha!” I blurt before I can stop myself, the two glasses of champagne I've drank loosening my lips. “Excuse me gentlemen, but I'm going to have to steal Tommy away, my father is incredibly anxious to speak with him,” I add, deciding not to draw attention to my slip up.

I take Tommy's arm and push a path between the two men, but before we make it to my father we're called through to the dining room.

“Now for the hard part,” I whisper to Tommy as we file through into the other room.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” he replies, but I don't miss him firing daggered looks across the room at Derby and Whitley.

[youngwidowofbrooklyn]

To Be Clear

I have a confession to make. I know why my writing has been both shitty and vague and also sporadic of late. It’s because I’ve started to worry about what you think. I think the biggest damage my writing has sustained has been knowing that you are reading it. That is to say, I hope someone is reading, and I try very hard to be honest and dig deep in order to articulate my pain for you - whoever you are - so that perhaps it will resonate with some pain inside of you. That’s the hope, anyway. But when I start to think of friends, lovers, family members reading....well, my fingers freeze and the truth doesn’t want to come out.

I think when I first starting writing here, my pain was so new, so all-encompassing, that I literally didn’t have the ability to understand how or when to censor my feelings. And now she’s settled down a bit, my beautiful two year old Grief. She's walking and talking and sleeping through the night. She’s almost potty trained, even. Just a few accidents here and there, nothing abnormal, really. Now, I’m mostly back to being able to function like a normal person without clutching my Grief to my bosom, and now I can SEE you all again. And I hesitate. I stall. I clamp down. 

So? What have I been elusive about, you ask? What have I avoided talking about? Jesus, of course you’d ask that and of course it would catch me off guard, even as I slowly inch my way toward telling you.

Yesterday, I broke off a very casual relationship I’d been having. I wince a bit even as I type, because I honestly don’t know if he has read my blog, or will read this. I try really hard not to involve other people in this writing exercise, mainly for selfish reasons, because, you see, it takes the focus off of me, but also because I am not so brave and unfiltered that I can spill specific details about people in my life or feelings that I have for or about them. I’m not that reckless with my words.

But yes. Yesterday I explicitly said to someone that I think we’ve pretty much hit the end of the road and have a nice life. And it was equal parts very upsetting for me and very liberating.

This is not a person that I was in love with, let me make that very clear. Love was never a part of it. It was other very nice things, but definitely not that. But it was upsetting for me because it was about as close to love as I’m capable of being with a live, adult person at this point. Admittedly, as close as I can get is really fucking far away, but even still. To be able to kiss someone, to hold someone’s body against my own, even occasionally, to trust someone, to laugh, to be on a date and hold a person’s hand.....those are tiny little victories for me back into the world of normalcy and connection.

Even if my heart is locked up in a tower, maybe never to be available again. Still, it’s nice to feel warmth and closeness. And I know that I don’t have a lot to give someone in return, I don’t have time, I don’t have tenderness that doesn’t feel very hollow to me, I don’t have enthusiasm. And what I want in return is maybe a lot, and definitely complicated. I want someone to have empathy, to be patient, to be present and to appreciate the fact that every social interaction I have these days, I’m settling for something besides the only one I really want. I want someone to give me attention and space in equal measure. I want someone to value me and understand that I cannot commit, don’t see myself as ever being someone’s “girlfriend” again.

I want a whole fucking lot. And I don’t have a lot to trade for it.

So, this person is nice. He’s fine. He’s handsome. He’s great in bed. He’s funny. He’s 42 years old and has never been married or close to it. Fine. He disappears for weeks, months, without a word and then reappears as suits him. He doesn’t ask me how I’ve been. He doesn’t want to know about the hard stuff. 

And my life? It’s mostly hard stuff. We live in different universes, I think.

He doesn’t want a girlfriend. Fine. I don’t want to be someone’s girlfriend. But I still believe that people in my life are more than the things I can get from them. I want to be a person that matters in the lives of the people who come into mine. I don’t think I did. And that is a sad realization.

It’s also a lot to ask someone with no compass for the land in which I reside to understand how to navigate it. I get that. What I require from someone is most likely an impossible feat.

I began to imagine, the other day, reading messages from my husband, looking at videos, a conversation between us, where I explain this situation to him. Because, of course, these days, our - even imagined - relationship is strictly platonic, but no less filled with compassion and love. I tell him about this situation, and how my feelings are constantly being hurt, and he says to me, like he always did before, “Fuck that dude. He wants to act like that? You don’t need that shit, that’s wasted energy.”

And he’s right. Maybe I just needed to hear it from him.

And today I’m feeling liberated because it’s true, I don’t need to hang around waiting to hear from someone who only ever seems quasi-interested in me, and even then, not really me The Whole Person. 

Jesus, I am just realizing that the last time I broke off a relationship with someone was....close to twenty years ago. Something I never expected to do again, after marrying.

But you know? After getting all the way to the end of a very good, wonderful, in fact, marriage, breakups don’t sting the way they used to.

So that’s a plus.

[mariangota]

Take My Breath Away

Saturday July 21st, 2018 Elm Street Bakery Knox Farm

We finally made it to date #3, what was originally supposed to be date #1. I can’t even imagine how this date would have gone had it been our very first date. My crazy schedule reared its ugly head as I had rehearsal that morning. You told me you would handle all the details and I was yet again pleasantly surprised. You have no idea how freeing it is to not be the one to have to drive a relationship forward. I’m typically the one with the intentionality, the one who plans out dates, the one who buys meaningful gifts, etc. You took that pressure off of me right from the beginning and I loved that. 

I was a lot less psychotic for this date so I didn’t have to plan (as much) for what to wear. I may or may not have pulled some outfits in my head the day before but hey we can’t all be spontaneous overnight. I went for a comfy cute look and after getting a couple compliments at rehearsal on my outfit I was sure I made the right choice. 

On my way home I checked to make sure you didn’t need me to bring anything. You assured me everything was taken care of so all that was left to do was wait excitedly for you to come pick me up. When you arrived and I got in the car the first thing I noticed was how freaking good you looked. White button up and powder blue shorts, a comfy casual look to make any girl drool. The excitement in my tummy (and maybe a wee bit in my heart) grew. 

First stop was the Elm Street Bakery in East Aurora. This was after all the first stop of the Great Pie Adventure (see mock ups below). 

It was in a cute repurposed barn and the smell that wafted in the air as soon as you walked in was intoxicating. Fresh baked goods really get me going. We didn’t see any cherry pie so we settled on a blueberry pie and a cheescake/tart of some kind. They were each individually wrapped up in their own boxes. I could end the date there and would be happy but I knew there was more. You planned for us to have a little picnic with our desserts and so we hit the road to wherever you wanted us to be for this picnic. You said there was a park nearby that you used to bring Hiro to. I wasn’t familiar with the area so I had no idea what I was getting into until we arrived. Turned out we were headed to Knox Farm and the only connection I could make was that this was a wedding venue (figures.). 

The day was overcast but still warm and we both hoped it wouldn’t rain. Once we got there, we started down a trail as I assumed you knew exactly where we were headed. Turns out you were aimlessly walking too, looking for a secluded enough spot for us to settle into. I asked if you were taking me to be murdered and you replied it was an off season for organ trafficking. Phew! Dodged a bullet there. We finally made it to a small pond with a clearing and decided this would be as good as any. You opened up your backpack to start setting up and pulled out a blanket, some bottles of wine and beer, and some snacks. I was desperately in love. The spread alone could have brought me to tears (and evidently did! Keep reading for more fun). You brought grapes, cheese, pepperoni, and crackers, antipasta and frozen fruit. I was in awe of the thought you had put into this one date. The only thing we were missing were glasses which you beat yourself over since you had washed and dried them earlier in the day just for the occasion. We decided to not waste the wine and drank right from the bottle. I wouldn’t have had it any other way to be honest. I even made use of the frozen fruit you had prepared to keep our wine chilled by slicing them up and throwing them directly into the bottle. The fruit was a nice touch, bravo. 

The culminating piece of this date, the pie, was delicious. i would definitely go back. I wonder how the cherry pie holds up. But in reality we spent only a small part of our date ruminating on the pie, figuring out how to score it. The majority of time was spent wrapped up in each other and just talking. I had talked so much that week already and yet I didn’t want to stop, not when it came to you. I felt like I could spend my entire life talking to you like that. We talked about silly things and funny things, serious things and deep things. The day could not have been any more perfect. The overcast day gave us refuge from the sun since we were sprawled out in that clearing with no trees to provide shade. As we stared out and got comfortable in our surroundings, we gained the trust of some geese who were grazing nearby. They seemed to not mind us at all after awhile so we decided to adopt them. We were sure of this fact when they retreated whenever someone else walked past us on the path yet returned promptly by us once those folks were gone. They became our family of geese with a head honcho even. I can’t seem to remember all their names but I do distinctly remember naming them all. I felt so at peace, so at home, so in love out there. It might not have necessarily been romantic love directed at you per se, at least not yet. It was more of a love of place. It was the love I felt at that exact moment. I loved the smell of the air, the cool breeze that floated back and forth, the distant sounds of the wedding at the farm house, the haze of clouds that streaked the sky. I loved being there at that place...with you. And slowly but surely I came to realize that I loved you. 

Up until this point I had done a fantastic job at keeping my emotions in check. As someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, this was a feat to be applauded. But as I ran around that clearing, as you chased me in fits of laughter, as you carried me to avoid all the geese poop, and as I sat in the field of tall grass watching you from afar I could no longer hold those emotions in. It hit me like a wave and I can still feel those ripples as I’m writing this now. I thought to myself, what have I done to deserve this man, this man who did all of this for me? I was overcome with joy because I couldn’t help but play back every stupid mistake, every wrong turn, every gut wrenching heart break, every dark hole I found myself in wishing and praying it would be worth it one day. It reminds me of one of my favorite bible quotes from Esther 4:14 “Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created”. God I was so happy and for a long time I didn’t think I could get there, to that clearing in Knox Farm perhaps watching the love of my life from across the way. 

These are the thoughts I couldn’t find the words or perhaps the courage to tell you that day. Just as you are now afraid to scare me away with how fiercely you love me, I was afraid of how quickly and how deeply I was falling for you. I wasn’t watching you like you were a guy I was simply interested in. It wasn’t even an image of fantasy from a book I read or a movie I watched. I watched you like you were my future. I saw us coming back to that clearing years, decades from now. I saw time pass in the most beautiful way. I saw our kids and our grandkids. Oh god this sounds so insane. I’m so glad I didn’t tell you all this then and yes I’m crying like an idiot typing this out. I saw you as an inextricable part of me and that brought me to tears ugly crying. Yes, I was the girl who broke down on date #3. This was sure to be an adventure. 

As dusk began to settle we packed up our picnic, having nearly finished a bottle of wine each. We walked hand in hand back to the car and that’s when it started to rain. We had spent hours out there laying in that clearing with not so much as a drop. I could tell the clouds were heavy but they held up until we left. Someone was surely looking out for us. 

On the rainy ride back I listened as the rain hit the windows and I stared at you unabashedly. I was determined to make you mine. My future sat in that car and I would be crazy to not chase it fiercely. 

On the shores of that pond we found each other but not like it was the first time. On July 21st, 2018 we had finally found what we had both been looking for. Each other.

We didn’t know what this was to become. But we went bravely towards it, hand in hand.