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#It just still hurts my soul
mythandmagic · 2 months
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please Please PLEASE everyone go read Like Every Tree Stands on Its Own by @mightybog it is phenomenal and has deliciously altered my brain chemistry. AND there's a sequel in the works which is sure to be just as marvelous and heartwrenching and beautiful as the first.
Seriously, I have been rotating this story for days, even made some picrews about it (courtesy of ElenaA's Kiss Crew, beloved).
Anyway, please go read and kudos and comment and show her some love because she deserves it.
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transmechanicus · 5 months
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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spaceratprodigy · 7 months
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*gulp* deacon/iris "please just kiss me" intimacy ask........ NYE party- (i am shot)
@oldworldwidgets — [ intimacy prompts ]
It's in the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again
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pose reference
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agentark · 1 year
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
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bleaksqueak · 1 year
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Groose is the best Zelda character, no one can change my mind.
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kikizoshi · 7 months
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can we form a coup against asagiri and make you the writer instead? genuinely... I am not taking the Fyodor immortal information well.. please help............................ ( ´,_ゝ` )
Oh, I would absolutely not do BSD well either. I just wish Asagiri had stuck to his roots more. He was a great comedy writer, and the beginning of the story was great for it. It's the action and Death Note stuff he can't seem to get mastery of. But for the immortal part: I'm not entirely sold that Fyodor's immortal, yet. It seems like yet another twists that will twist to reveal oh, shocker, he faked his memories to confuse Sigma/the ADA... or something. Could very well be immortal, but not 100% guaranteed.
#bsd#anon#I still support his right to write his story however he wants#and a lot of people seem to enjoy this sort of shock-value shounen writing he's doing now#I just happen to hate that sort of story#so when BSD pivoted to that I was dragged along into it because of Fyodor and Nikolai#and get salty whenever characters who own a part of my heart and soul are subjected to bad shock writing#and yes I know the version of them that I love the most exist within my own perception#and are a product of the years I've spent working on and developing them for my own stories#but I still love and adore the originals too#and so it's painful and irritating#because the characters are no longer the main focus of the story#it's all about the shock... the next biggest thing#Nikolai's doesn't have a motive to be the ferryman I need to get all the characters in the same place/start the next arc? No problem!#he just wants to kill Fyodor now. problem solved.#how did he use his Ability to get Sigma to France when his Ability only travels 30m at a time?#eh don't worry about it. I made an omake about it so you know I know it's an absolute joke#Nikolai's whole character and Ability practically changed just for convenience... for the story and shock#so as a fan of character-based stories it hurts that sometimes characters just aren't respected at all#with Fyodor I know it's more a case of Asagiri's vision of him seems to have changed as the story progressed#in that realm I'm so happy that BSD is serialised because it means I still have the initial version of Fyodor that I loved with all my hear#when I really can't stand Meursault!Fyodor at all and wish he would just die already so I could be fully free
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vexedallay · 7 months
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Something that bugs me is how everything Rae does is called science. Like, this man was basically a conspiracy theorist who happened to strike gold with his theory and had a vague notion of scientific method at the start of s1 and at the current point in time he's more of a historian/family drama counselor. The closest he's ever come to science (to my knowledge) is when he was experimenting with the sculk, which probably should've been given to sherb anyways, since they (as an alchemist) are probably the best equipped to handle mysterious substances. Not saying the outcome would've changed but my point stands. The reason Rae is the man everyone goes to with their problems is bc in s1 he was the best equipped to handle the issue, being the one who knew the most abt the end. When we hit s2 stuff, though, the science/research based problems should've gone directly to sherb.
Not to say I don't love with my entire heart what heyhay has done with raes character, but sometimes it feels like everything ic is important for is the problems they have rather than the solutions they can offer, and that hurts my little icarus-obsessed heart
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nordfjording · 1 month
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I get the whole thing about self-deprecating jokes and things not being laughing matters and there are some really fine lines there. And that this is probably some cultural or generational thing, snd so on.
But there's something so deeply normalizing and freeing about taking the piss out of something that feels like it should ruin you.
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tropicalfreckles · 4 months
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I have a strong, bitter hatred for CEOs in charge of animation companies or have a large animation department and don't have a passion for animation.
It's why we get such shit changes from executive medaling. They don't care about how amazing animation can be, they care about a product that gives them money.
I wanna just grab a bat and beat them or something.
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cmentary-drive · 3 months
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live reaction to @doveshovel 's art fight attack
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care666bear · 3 months
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Did I freak the fuck out on my sister for trying to compare her dad and her having different work schedules to me not having any parents at all like damn get grateful I am not the person to bitch to & the fact you think I am is kinda gross
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rottiens · 3 months
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Did you ever self-insert into SnK? If yes, what was your backstory? What was your rank? What was your casual outfit like? And who was your bae? 👀
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muzzlemouths · 5 months
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Muzz, you’re telling me you actually WROTE THE THING and DIDN’T share?! Screaming crying throwing UP-
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I'M SORRRYYYYYYYY I AM JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS BUG. DO YOU STILL WANT IT
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averlym · 1 year
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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fenrisdefender · 5 months
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You will not convince me to ever get as deep into conversation/analysis about DA2 on here as I do on TikTok.
Bc the reason I never talked about DA2 10 years ago is an attitude I KNOW still exists within some of you who remain here today. Some of the people who were the reason people lurked back then are still on here. To be frank, y’all scare me.
The discourse around Marian Hawke, the bad and lacking-in-nuance takes around certain companion characters… the inability to talk about mage rights and Anders’ actions with literally an ounce of grey mixing into the black and white thinking 😭 “I support him and wish I could contribute” vs. “I think he’s the most evil evil to ever evil in any universe”
… it’s just so bad 😭😭
No thank you. There’s a reason I lurked then. Because this fandom has nightmarish takes and a mean attitude around it. All while being Completely Convinced™️ that they have a right to be judgmental about everyone else for having vaguely differing opinions or interpretations 😭😭
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vaugarde · 7 months
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my hope for the pokemon presents that i know will not happen is gates to infinity remake ok bye
#listen i knowwwwwwww explorers is more popular and its got more fans and itd sell well and itd be good to see it in the spotlight#i agree with all that it makes sense. but i cant help but view it as a bowsers inside story remake scenario#where its just like. kinda pointless bc the original is functionally fine#meanwhile my soul hurts when i think about how gti was kinda screwed over by its development and time#it came out during that time all 3ds games felt really janky to play so it feels awkward#and like. just compare the environments in gti compared to psmd#psmd doessss have more diverse environments to be fair but environments that should feel more grand just feel off in gti#like glacier palace doesnt look AWFUL but it hurts to see it compared to the animated version from the commercials#and like. imagine the glow up if it got the dx treatment. if the environments were all fixed and the job system was updated#and we got a larger starter pool and maybe even a postgame. ik they didnt add much to pmd dx#but that game had a fairly beefy postgame and all that while gti has.... pretty much nothing besides dlc#anyways it wont happen bc gti is the most hated pmd game by a fairly wide margin and itd piss ppl off and itd probably get a bullshit $60#price tag#but like. i want it. i want it ok. i want to see them fix gti and bring out its full potential. i love its story sm#ik theres the demake but theyre also changing the pokemon choices there (which ik they cant help. repository doesnt have timburr and gurdur#but still) so i kinda wanna wait to see when thats done or its got all the assets
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