#It's been in my mind for a whiiiiile

[bo-bo-bean]

Who did this?

[bucky-barnes-diaries]

His Empire of Desire

Pairing || Mob!Bucky x Wife!Reader

Summary || After a gruelling day with maintaining his criminal empire, Bucky returns home to you, seeking comfort and passion in your touch and words.

World Count || 3016

Contents & Warnings || Fluff, Smut — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, mob/mafia business, mention of violence/torture/murder, explicit content/language, pet names, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), degradation & praise kink, use of the word whore, dom/sub dynamics, teasing, begging, face/throat fucking, gagging/choking, fingering, spanking, rough fucking, creampie, mention of bodily fluids.

Authors Note || It’s been a whiiiiile… Hopefully I’m back for good now. But anyways, this is a WIP that I started at the beginning of 2023 and I finally finished a few days ago. Enjoy, and I will be back with more fics soon. But I’ll be taking my time and not rushing/stressing myself with it. I want to have fun and write again, but I won’t force it when I don’t have energy so there won’t be weekly fics most likely.

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Mob!Bucky Masterlist

I don’t do taglists anymore so please follow @bucky-barnes-diaries-library and turn on notifications to never miss out on my writing!

Once the sun had dipped below the horizon, casting shadows over the city’s towering buildings, Bucky made his way home after another demanding day maintaining his criminal empire. The day, much like the others, had been a grueling mix of meetings, negotiations, and the unsettling business of violence that defined Bucky’s world of organized crime. Accustomed to the daily occurrences of bloodshed, torture, and death, even the strongest individuals, like Bucky, had their moments when frustration and weariness weighed heavily on his broad shoulders. All Bucky craved was solace and comfort in the embrace of his wife’s warmth and love, concluding the night with the pleasure of burying himself deep within her. That singular thought occupied his mind as he sat in the backseat of the Rolls, heading towards the penthouse that overlooked the city—his sanctuary, his kingdom, and you, his Queen.

“Have a good evening, Sir,” Bucky’s chauffeur nodded firmly in the rearview mirror, receiving an equal parting nod as Bucky stepped out of the car.

As Bucky ascended the private elevator, his fingers itched intensely for your presence, yearning to wash away the day’s cruelty with your loving touch and mend his wounds with your caring words. The ascent to his and your floor, typically swift, felt like an eternity. Leaning his forehead against the mirrored elevator walls, hands clenched on each side of his head, he muttered to himself, “Come on, come on. Hurry the fuck up. I fucking need her.”

Finally, on the top floor, the elevator pinged and opened, revealing the vast penthouse. Bucky swiftly departed, entering the one place where he truly felt safe and at home. The familiar scent of your shared home immediately calmed him, normality easing his frustrations. As he entered the spacious living room, soft music filled the space, accompanied by the sound of your bare footsteps drawing closer. It was everything he had longed for after his gruelling day.

The ache he felt for you gradually faded as you approached. Clad in a silk robe, your captivating form moved with confidence, the curves of your body dancing beneath the expensive material. Your face, bare and glowing, reflected the wear and tear of your own long day.

Though Bucky adored when you were all primed and dolled up, there was an ethereal quality about you when stripped down to your natural beauty that captivated him even more.

He released a deep, heavy breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding in, eyes closing briefly in bliss at the anticipation of you finally being beside him.

“Bucky,” you murmured as you stood before him, assessing him with a hint of worry. His shoulders sagged under the weight of the day, his eyes pleading. You understood immediately—he needed you now more than ever. Sensing his need for your presence and words, you prepared to offer the comfort he sought.

“Baby, you look exhausted,” you murmured, pressing yourself against him, cupping the back of his skull with your hands, thumbs softly grazing his earlobes. Your shimmery eyes met his weary gaze.

He groaned quietly as he leaned his forehead against yours. His fingers spread across the silky material on your hips, pulling you closer, needing the reassurance of your body. “Doll, I fucking need you,” he groaned, pushing his fingers harder into your covered flesh. “Now more than ever, baby.” His plea blended fiery lust with loving need.

“Come on,” you mumbled, laying a feather-light kiss on his lips, soft fingers laced with his calloused ones. “I know just what you need,” you purred, promising to provide whatever he needed—whether it be a loving cuddle and kisses or an intense physical connection, to bend you over and fuck your body and mind senseless. You were his.

You guided him through the dark hall to the luxurious en-suite, where the spacious marble shower awaited. Turning on the cascading stream of warm water, you beckoned him to come closer and let you take his stress away.

“Let me take your stress away, baby,” you purred, approaching him once again. Bucky watched your movements intently, the weariness in his eyes transforming into a look of pure lust and the longing for the gentle care only his wife could provide.

With your hands at the lapels of his suit jacket, you pulled it away from his firm body, letting it fall to the floor. Slowly, while never breaking your gaze from his fiery eyes, you unbuttoned each button with precise movements, pushing the fabric of his muscular torso. Your eyes roamed over his chiseled physique as your hands lay flat on his pecs, adorned with specs of hair. Your palms moved down the planes of his firm muscles, making him moan at your gentle touch. Unbuttoning his suit pants, you pulled them down along with his underwear, leaving him standing naked before you.

Unfastening the sash of your silk robe, you let it drop, standing completely naked before him. Taking his hand in yours, you led him into the steaming shower, the warm mist enveloping you both.

Bucky stood under the shower head, letting the water soak him from head to toe, washing away the burdens of the day. You joined him, placing your palms on his chest with a gentle touch as you stood flush against him—your bodies melded together by the water. His hardening cock pressed against your abdomen. He dropped his gaze to your burning eyes that mirrored his own, before trailing them over your naked and wet body, intensifying the heat.

With a groan, he knotted his fingers in your hair, the other wrapping around your waist. Your arms curled underneath his, placing your palms on his muscular back. Your pulse quickened with excitement, knowing where the evening was headed. All that was needed was your encouragement for Bucky to take it in the direction he desired.

“I’m yours, Bucky. Take what you need. Take me. Love me. Use me. Do whatever you need and desire right now. My body and mind are yours.”

He leaned down, capturing your lips with his, claiming and owning your mouth. His sweet and tender kisses quickly escalated into firm and needy ones. The tip of his tongue swept your bottom lip, pleading for your taste. As your tongues met, his fingers tightened in your hair, and his hand slapped the apple of your ass, followed by a firm squeeze. You whined into his mouth, pushing your body into his wet and slippery one, surrendering yourself.

Your hand wrapped around his firm cock in a tight squeeze, jerking his length in deep and slow motions while your tongue continued to dance with his. Bucky pulled away with your bottom lip between his teeth, groaning against your puffy lips as he slowly fucked himself into your grip.

“Tell me what you need, baby,” you purred against his lips, flicking the tip of your tongue across his bottom lip. “I’m all yours.”

“Get on your knees, baby,” he growled. “Suck my cock like the whore I know you are for it.” His hand came up to wrap around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make your pussy throb without suffocating you. “I’ll make you cry and choke on it while I fuck your mouth, use that tight throat.” A moan of need escaped at his filthy words. You loved being his adoring wife and his dirty whore. His lips curled in a satisfied smile at the duality you embodied—Whore and Queen.

He let you go, and without hesitation, you pressed sloppy kisses to his chest. Fingers traced the dips and planes of his chiseled physique as you continued kissing and licking down his body—his abs, his defined v-line—until you were lowered on your knees before him, mouth agape as you stared at him through your lashes. The water from the shower head above made his body gleam, intensifying the irresistible appeal of him towering over you. His cock stood fully erect, practically begging for attention, begging to be sucked. A shiver ran through your body, and a whimper escaped your lips as your pussy throbbed, eager for the same treatment your throat would soon receive—getting fucked and bruised.

Aroused with anticipation, your body practically shaking, you grasped him firmly in your hand as your tongue traced the protruding veins along his shaft, licking up to his bulbous head. Kissing and sucking the tip, you moaned at the taste of him. With no patience left, Bucky grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing you to release him from your mouth. His hot gaze met yours as a stinging yet delicious tug prompted a sharp gasp from your lips as tears welled in your eyes—the first of many for the evening.

“Don’t tease me, doll. I’ve had enough of being undermined today,” he groaned, his voice laced with cruel warning. “Now suck it like the pretty little whore I know you are for it.”

“Yes, Sir. I’ll be your good little whore.”

Obediently complying, you engulfed his length as Bucky’s guttural groan vibrated off the shower walls. Your choice of words, and taking him all with no hesitation, only fueled his burning desire.

You took him deep, inch by thick inch until all of him nestled in your throat. Tears ran down your already wet cheeks, and the sensation of your lips wrapped around him and your throat suffocating his cock with your choked coughs made Bucky tip his head back in bliss. Moaning thickly, he pushed his hips forward into your compliant mouth.

Withdrawing to catch your breath, a thick string of saliva trailed from your lips to his tip. A testament to your eagerness to please the man above you.

“So gorgeous,” Bucky smirked, looking down at you with tears and saliva running down your chin. “Such an eager whore to please me,” he murmured, brushing his thumb across your lips.

With no further hesitations, you wrapped your hand tightly around the base to jerk him off, while your mouth engulfed his swollen and leaking tip. Your hand and mouth worked in perfect sync—jerking him with force and delicious pressure while your head bobbed on his cock, slurping and sucking. Bucky’s hips met your movements, making you choke and gag by his rough thrusts. Your other hand squeezed and kneaded his firm ass cheek, pulling him closer and anchoring yourself to him as you sucked him off.

Bucky’s vocalization became a hot and heavy symphony of moans, groans, and every guttural sound in between—a testament to you working him thoroughly with your hands and mouth.

His hips jerked, his muscles tensing, on the verge of climax, and spilling into your mouth, and you wanted nothing more than a taste of him. But he pulled you off before he could finish down your throat, making you wheeze and chest heave to catch your breath after he released you.

Reading the disappointment on your face, he brushed your tear and water-stained cheeks and swollen lips, a smirk playing on his own. “Don’t worry, doll. I’ll come down your throat next time.” His voice was low and sultry, laced with delicious promise. “I need to feel your tight cunt wrapped around me, now.”

Helping you up, he met your lips in a sloppy kiss, slapping your ass with a force that made you gasp before turning you around and directing you to bend over for him on the marble bench.

You bent over, placing your forearms on the cold stone, presenting your ass for him. The view of both your tight holes a tantalizing sight for him.

During the blowjob, your pussy had throbbed with need, eager for the same treatment as your throat, and you had never felt as frustrated as you had now, waiting for his cock. Looking over your shoulder at Bucky, his fist jerking his cock as his hot and burning gaze trailed over your dripping cunt, which he would fill and come deep inside.

“Please, Bucky,” you cried. “I need you cock so bad.” Your voice thick with desperate desire to be fucked and used by him. “Please, please, fuck me. Use me. Use my cunt.” You knew after the day he had that the fuck would be brutal, and you would love nothing more. You loved his gentle and caring nature that he reserved only for you, but you also loved to be used and fucked like a whore by him. The duality of his two sides only makes you love him deeper with each passing day.

He chuckled, relishing the power he held over you, the absolute desperation in your pleading voice and submissive body. “Patience, doll,” he replied with a low growl. “I’ve had a rough day, and I will take my time with you.”

He firmly kneads your ass in his palms, rough hands grabbing and squeezing the flesh before delivering a sharp slap that sends a jolt of pleasurable pain up your spine. Your toes curl, and a whimper escapes your parted lips as the cruel laughter from Bucky fills the space. Despite the sobs and cries during the next two spanks, your pussy grows wetter at his cruelty, soaking your inner thighs.

Bucky curses under his breath, running two fingers through your messy folds, circling your needy clit in teasing strokes. A breath of relief escapes you at finally being stimulated, even though it’s not at the satisfaction you crave. He groans as he pushes two fingers inside your wet cunt, fucking it in slow strokes, making your breath shake at the stretch.

“What made you this wet, doll? Sucking and choking on my cock, or me spanking and bruising your ass?”

“B-both,” you reply with a shaky voice.

“That’s my good whore,” he growls, softly patting your ass where his brutal hands landed.

With the head of his cock, he teases your bundle of nerves, before slowly and oh-so-deliciously pushing his length inside your welcoming cunt. You moan and whine through your swollen and parted lips as he stretches you out to accommodate his size. “Fuck, so tight, baby.”

He forces the rest of his length balls deep, making you gasp, while he moans, at stuffing you completely. “Ah, fuck… so big,” you whine, closing your eyes and fists tightly, adjusting to him.

With a low, throaty chuckle in response to your reaction, Bucky gives you a moment before setting his rhythm, hands firmly gripping your soft hips, fingers digging into your skin.

He holds nothing back as he unleashes himself, intensifying the brutal pace, thrusting deeply into your pussy like his existence depends on it. The tip of his swollen cock repeatedly brushes against your sweet spot, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your nerves, eliciting soft whimpers from your lips.

“So good for me, doll. Such a tight, pretty pussy,” he grunts, lost in the sensation of your cunt and the pleasure it brings him.

You tilt your head to meet his burning gaze, the fiery passion in his eyes searing your exposed and submitted body before him.

“Fuck, it’s all yours, baby. All of me. Only for you,” you whimper, the soft symphony of your gentle whispers and moans enticing Bucky closer to the edge, fucking you roughly and chasing his high. “Keep using it, baby. Claim me. Take what you want,” you urge, your words a breathless plea for him to keep unleashing his pent-up anger and frustrations on your eager and pleading cunt.

As you ascend to pleasurable heights, your impending orgasm closing in swiftly, the clenching of your walls around his pulsating cock signals his pending release as well. His hand slides around your throat, lifting you upright amidst his primal thrusts.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby? Come on my cock as I fill your greedy cunt?” His gruff voice sends a shiver down your spine.

The searing pleasure, coupled with the firm grip on your throat, leaves you with no choice but to nod, conveying that you are close to an eruption with an earth-shattering explosion.

“Open that pretty mouth for me and use your words, doll.” A sharp slap to your thigh jolts you out of the haze, prompting you to gather yourself and respond to his demand.

“Yes,” you managed to gasp. “I’m gonna come. I need you to come inside me, baby,” you cry, craving his warmth like a good whore.

With those pleading words, Bucky surges over the edge. His grunts and moans resonating against your skin as he fills you up with his cum. The sensation of him pulsing and filling within you and the rhythmic movement of his hips have you tumbling over the edge. Waves of your release ripple through your body, shaking and convulsing, your cries of pleasure echoing off the tiled walls.

“Good girl,” Bucky moaned against your skin. His fingers skillfully play with your engorged clit to heighten the downfall of your orgasm. “You take my cock and cum so well.” He continued to fuck and talk you through it, ensuring that your mind and body were consumed with nothing but pleasure and him.

The shared climax left you both suspended in the aftermath of your intense fucking. The air thick with echoes of your breathless satisfaction.

“Hmm, my good girl,” Bucky muttered, withdrawing from your used cunt and turning you around. The warm water of the shower continued to rain down on you both, washing away the shared evidence of your intense and passionate lovemaking.

Bucky cupped your cheeks, brushing his thumbs across the skin beneath your eyes. His hands, which held your body with force only moments ago, now cradled your face as if you were the most delicate of artworks, which to him, you were more than a masterpiece. He captured your lips, kissing you with a mix of passion and need. Your arms held his waist, bringing his slick body closer to yours.

“Let’s get out and dry off, doll. I need to bury my face in that pretty cunt of yours before I hold you in my arms and express how much you mean to me for the rest of the night.”

Thank you for reading 🖤 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated! Or let me know through an anonymous ask if that feels more comfortable. As well as a reblog to share my work with other people!

[hollowtones]

they killed fucking Stray!!! my favourite game!!!!! they killed it!!!! and outer wilds!!!!! what am i going to fucking do man!!!!

that's not really what happened

like it's fucked that negotiations went the way they did & basically the entire staff walked out (good on them for sticking up for themselves, hoping everyone that left can land on their feet in some way or another because they were doing some good fuckin work) & it sounds like some of the devs working with the publisher were kind of left in the dark for better or for worse (reminds me of the recent Humble thing where their whole publishing branch was let go recently... right on the verge of one of their games coming out. man)

but like... they're not the developers. they're the publishers. the games & the devs are still there. & i have to imagine the billionaires behind Annapurna (they don't just do video games! they've been multimedia for a whiiiiile now) would like to continue making More Money. so unless there's some contract weirdness / the devs want to pull out of their publishing contract somehow / the owners of Annapurna are very stupid I have to imagine they're not going to just vanish all of a sudden

mind you I am an artist & entertainer and not an expert on american business law or video game publishing so it's entirely possible im getting something wrong here. but this is my understanding at least

[pbpsbff]

happy 1 year of r&r :)

i know it's a lil cringe to like. celebrate the birthday of a series on ao3 but r&r is literally my child. my baby. i birthed this series. and you all signed up for this when u started reading my fics thank u

soooooooo thank u guys for all the support i've received over r&r i know it's hard to stay a consistent reader when my posting schedule is entirely non existent but i am so grateful for everyone who's stuck around this long and been with me for this journey (calling it a journey because a year ago i did not have any sort of overarching plot in mind and now we're 17? 18? fics deep and so many things have happened and i'm usually just as surprised as my readers) it's rlly u guys that have kept me going this long

ANYWAY. i rewrote this like 500 times cause i hate being like. overly sappy on this account because it's way funnier to act like a celebrity with a huge ego, but real talk i am so proud of everything i've done w this series & what it's become in the past year

i've been posting my writing online since i was like 10, so we're going on almost 9 years now and i don't think i've ever ever ever received as much support for something as i have for r&r and something about that is soooo special to me??? idk it's just so nice to see a completely self indulgent series become so loved by others, especially since the only other fics i had up before gmm&m were a little more on the "i'm gonna write what seems popular right now" side???

like shoutout to everyone who was here before/around when i started the series because my account was so empty like. 2 fics and one gets updated every 6 months. r&r pulled me out of the trench i fear. it also cured me of my very horrible disease that makes me delete all my fics after 9 months and then completely disappear from a fandom so everyone say thank you r&r

but yeah idk where i'm going with this i'm very grateful for r&r and all the friends i've made and people i've met through it because i was very lonely before i rejoined tumblr and r&r was like. 90% of the reason i made my account

AND SPEAKING OF FRIENDS. thank u to

@spidergrotto & @sapoteylx for being the first ppl i met on here to openly talk about and support r&r which i thought was so so cool even if you guys have become my haters in the past few months i've known you :/ thank u r&r nation u keep me humble and miserable (and i am very thankful for our friendship i think some aspects of r&r would be very different if we'd never met)

& ao3 user classactical because you've been here since like. a month or two into the series i think and i always always always look forward to your comments because i feel like if you comment, i did a good job on the fic LOL thank u for sticking around for so long, even if ao3 has been actively working against you for a whiiiiile

there's a lot more i want to say and a lot of people i want to mention but that would take a very long time and i always feel weird tagging a lot of people in posts so just know if u read r&r we are kissing rn. or high fiving idk whatever floats ur boat i guess

but yeah anyway tl:dr happy birthday r&r i'm very proud of this series & very thankful for everyone who has read any part of it ever u guys are so cool and hot and have amazing taste and i'm taking your kudos and bookmarks etc. as you swearing your allegiance to me and promising me your undying support no matter what (legally binding btw) thank u guys

[kittypup12]

Incredibly stupid headcannon dump of things I think Heisenberg would be OBSESSED with in the modern world

• Bobble heads?? He'd have really tacky ones on his dashboard. Def one of those hula skirt ladies

• Those electric globe things. He'd try to make a gigantic one in your living room

• Thinks they're stupid at first but after getting his hands on one, an air fryer. Nothing is safe from his sick 'can you fry it?' fantasies

• Any theme park, fair, ect. I think his favorite would be the bumper cars and takes it way too seriously of course

• Legos ohmygodholyshit LEGOS. He would create his own little God forsaken builds and probably collect HUNDREDS of sets

• If he ever figures out how tf to use any type of console or PC, you know he'll get into minecraft. I'm stuck between him being a master builder and making some of the most elaborate shit you've ever seen, or can't do fuck all besides wanting to mine infinitely and kill everything lol

Home Depot is his safe space. Is there so often, they probably give him some little "customer of the year" reward or some shit

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• He'd be embarrassed about it but loves playgrounds and parks. The closest thing he probably ever had to a playground is a tetnus ridden junkyard, so imagine going for a walk in the park together and coming across one. Maybe it's late, so you decide to hop on the swings together and talk until the street lamps come on 🥺

Okay, but here's modern shit that would just.. blow his mind and not always in a good way, lol

• Modern dogs. Saw this video that showed the difference between common dog breeds from 100 years ago and holy shit.. I love the idea of him seeing, like, a chihuahua or some kind of terrier for the first time and thinking, "What in the fresh hell is THAT???" Terrifying

• That being said, he would be *obsessed* with dogs with prosthetics or wheelchairs. "ITS A DOG ON WHEELS, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE??"

• Feel like he'd LOVE taking pictures tbh?? He obviously had a knack for... documenting this, so I think give him an old Polaroid and he'd have a BLAST taking pictures of everything. His phone is full of video and pictures. ((He is a total Pintrest girlie, but will deny it))

• Fuckin LOVES zoos and aquariums. Unfortunately, it's probably been a century since he's last gone to one

• "Oh man I am so excited to go to the zoo! I haven't been since I was a kid. Boy, I sure do hope they have my favorite, the Tasmania Tiger. Sure am glad they're still alive. :)" 😬😬😬

• I think he'd be low key terrified of birds?? Obviously paranoid due to them being a source of surveillance in his life.. but the thought of him being afraid of seagulls or pigeons is very funny. Saw the movie 'The Birds'and has never been the same since. Don't get him started on barn owls

• Him finding the internet is worth an entire post of its own, but very first thought is just.. he would ABSOLUTELY need to be supervised for a whiiiiile lol. Man is already unstable enough as it is. Please do not let him find out how to make at home uranium on reddit or something. I'm talking about a thorough conversation on internet safety and AT LEAST parental locks for social media. Baby steps. He is going to be an absolute ipad baby

[fanaticsnail]

Finally at home so I can give you the proper hiperfixation review of Sapsorrow ch. 8!!!

Governess giving Buggy a reprimand 😅 Poor guy was just trying to make things flashy. He's lucky he's cute and eager to help.

Yeahhh, we've been waiting all this time to read Mihawk say outloud that phrase!!! I was hoping it was by pointing Yoru's to someone's neck. Thanks Beck for the map, I know it was his idea, if it was for Shanks he would've send poor Mihawk to search blindly but we laugh last because guess who's gonna go searching for his own bride soon??? 😎

Ohhh, the assembly in the cave! I can just imagine how radiant it may look! No, Buggy, you can't have our Governess, better start running!!!

Mihawk on his knees, singing... 🫠🫠🫠

“The seas and sword were my first love,

The training alone be vast.

Although you were not my first to love,

May we both be each's last.”

Those last verses got me all 🥹, they are beautiful!!!

OMG!!! Zoro is having second thoughts. It didn't down on me that Zoro would have to kill Mihawk in battle someday to claim his tittle. I thought that just disarm him on an formal duel or something and he admitting defeat was enough. Tho, it may still take a whiiiiile. Rayleigh and Garp were still out there all chill and undefeated at their 70s/60s.

I agree with Mihawk, Buggy seems to want to be behead today 😂 but ohhh, that was so flashy!!! Even better than Hunger Games: Catching Fire because the Starlight Dress is more spectacular!!! I just can picture all the colors you describe!!! ✨🌈

The dancing has started!!! Tango ensues!!! Time to shift music 💃

He had A feeling 🥰

“For whatever comes next, sounds like an awfully exciting adventure, my heart.” 🥹

My eyes are watering for lack of proper sleep and spring allergies, not because Zoro and Governess conversation 🥲

OMG, we get to dance with everybody, I love it here!!!

Oh, my dear Croc, indeed, what used would you have for a tamer of unruly individuals? It would be a shame that you find an unruly individual to tame to save your soul 😏

Aww, dancing with Buggy sounds delightfully funny, if this was a modern AU I know he would be out there giving John Travolta a run for his money 🕺🪩

I imagine Shanks knows how to dance almost everything. Meanwhile, Beck not knowing how to waltz it's so endearing!

Yeah, a fire by the beach sounds idilyc!!!

Oh, god, surprises still coming! Another tradition? Thanks, Shanks, who would have thought he was such a traditional guy???

"... make as much noise as we can while you perform your husbandly duties." I cracked so much when I first read it 🤣

In Germa they do what now?! 😳 Do not picture Sanji, do not... *picturing Sanji* 🫠

The Sun Dress is coming!!!

“You’ll have to wear a blindfold too.” asdfsadasf 🫠🫠🫠

I apologize for my lack of articulation here but my brain has turned into mush 🙃

EEEEEEEEE A chapter review by Vita??? My goodness! Not only do you spoil me with your beautiful art, but now reviews!! My goodness!

Buggy was a whole pest this chapter. I hope he knows what he's in for when the spectre goes after him 😏.

If Beckman wasn't as competent and thoughtful as he was, Mihawk may yet still be searching for his bride.

The cave scene was on my mind for so, so long. That, and the dancing. I was so glad to finally pump those words out - especially the song. I pulled out all the stops for that little song - even composed it musically with my guitar and violin to see if it would sound as good out loud as it did in my head 🥴.

The way I didn't even think about the hunger games 🤦‍♀️. My goodness, what a comparison though! Where Katniss' was more a controlled flame, Buggy literally went to set her on fire 💀💀💀.

I am sorry for the tears! They needed to have a bit of a rapport together, Zoro and his governess, to support each other. Zoro was there for her in the start of their adventure, it was only fitting for her to be supportive of his.

The way that "The Sands of Time" is writing itself at this point. I'm just there with a glass of wine and watching it happen. Poor Crocodile. Will he need someone to tame his unruly princess, or will the governess aid her in taming him 😏.

Buggy as Travolta 💀💀💀. Someone needs to draw that 👀

Poor Beckman spent all his time learning how to be the loyal knight of the Red-Hair Pirates, he never learnt how to dance. Poor gentleman. Shanks, on the other hand (HAH, HAND) knows how to dance - and dances well.

Oh, goodness. So many traditions. Poor Sanji, indeed. Poor Vinsmoke Sora 😭.

And the blindfold chapter is coming. Hands, fingertips, material, temperature changes, whispers, surprises - it's all coming soon!!

[kaiawrites]

DUTCH BRAIDS

max verstappen x gn!reader 

word count: 510

prompt: “shh, don’t fuss, i’m just braiding your hair”

summary: max really hates not being first, but you’re here to let him know he’s always first in your heart. also in which max calms himself down by braiding your hair

warnings: none, just fluff and slightly angsty max

a/n: i have not written one shots in a whiiiiile and this is my first f1 fanfic so please bear with me i really don’t know what i’m doing. hope u enjoy <3

Third place. It wasn’t bad per say, but you knew it wasn’t what Max expected of himself. He’d gotten pole yesterday, and you’d all been so sure he would win. Now you wished you could go back to yesterday when he’d been content and glowing with pride. You were waiting for him in his driver’s room, fiddling with your fingers anxiously. Max had never taken his anger out on you, of course, but he was certainly not as pleasant to be around when he was angry. The sound of a slamming door made you jump. Max seemed to halt when he noticed you on his couch, the sharp glint in his eyes dulling ever so slightly, his gaze softening.

“Hi,” you said plainly. He simply stared at you a bit longer, before disappearing into the bathroom. You sighed deeply, leaning back against the couch. It wasn’t long before you heard the sound of a shower running, and so, you took to reading a book Max had left lying about to occupy yourself. ‘The basics of golf’. Thrilling. You startled when fingers weaving through your hair interrupted your surprisingly enlightened reading session. You hadn’t even heard the shower close, or his footsteps back into the room. You tried sitting up, but he stopped you.

“Shh, don’t fuss, I’m just braiding your hair,” said Max. You slowly leaned back to your prior position, relaxing as Max delicately carded and weaved through your hair.

“Are you okay, baby?” This was unlike him. You didn’t even know he knew how to braid. He only hummed absent-mindedly as an answer.

“Didn’t know you were into golf,” he joked in reference to the book you had now discarded beside you. You could tell this was an attempt at lightening the mood, at redirecting the topic of conversation, but you could still discern the bitterness in his tone of voice. The disappointment.

“You don’t have to be perfect all the time, Max,” you said softly. The gentle motion of his hands in your hair faltered. You knew his mind was telling him you were wrong, and yet that deep in his heart he wanted to admit, to believe you were right. “Don’t let your father’s words rule your life,” you added. The heavy silence was pierced by his deep exhale, your hair fluttering from it ever so slightly. You could almost feel the tension leaving his body as his form relaxed behind you, and his hands resumed their intricate, yet effortless movements. He may not have entirely believed your words yet; no, it would take time for him to unlearn the rigid mentality his father had instilled within him at such a heartbreakingly young age, but he did believe in you. In your love, and in your unconditional support.

And so there you both sat, him braiding your hair, and you humming a lullaby you vaguely recalled from your childhood; both content to simply be with each other in this moment, basking in the knowledge that the same could be said of every other moment to come. 

[babacontainsmultitudes]

hello hellooo! Sorry to hear you’re feeling down :[ I don’t have much exciting news to share except for oc rambles that would go on for a bit or would be incoherent screeching/hj

So instead I ask you, what is your fav dndads character (or characters) and any headcanons about them?

Hiiiii!!!! I appreciate the ask :] Also hey if you wanna ramble about your OCs in the tags literally go off hahaha you're more than welcome to!

AHHH okay so my favorite of all time is Nick Close (literally did nothing wrong in his entire life I would end worlds for that little freak) though if we're counting Nicky, Nick, and Nicolas as all one character (I do adore them all very much), in no particular order I would say that my faves are probably

Sparrow

Nicky

Lincoln

Glenn

Taylor

Aaaaand Henry

Although aha even that list makes me feel like I've left too many out lmao sometimes my "fave character" is just all the kiddads LOL which the longer you've been around the more you know this to be true I really do think about them the most!

For headcanons I could easily go on for a whiiiiile aaaaah in terms of Nick Close a lot of my headcanons (at least the general ones that don't require too much preamble) tend to be a bit sad? I hc him as having seasonal affective disorder (dude "SAD" by Lemon Demon go listen lmao the Nick Close song ever) and separation anxiety. Oh, on a happier note, I also think it was Darryl who brought Nick to Universal Studios (along with Grant), which I discussed in a different post but idk where that one is rn lol.

Ah also since it came to mind for some reason, since I have tourette's, I also like to project that onto Lark and Taylor lol. Either one depending on the day!

Thanks for the ask!!! Oh shit Cassandra is also a fave she is my wife lmao.

[reimahowaido]

Alternate story roads for Dread, anyone~?

Alrighty, working on my writings again now that I've managed to get to credits on PLA But to dabble right back onto the writing fandom: let's have some speculative Fun 'what if's for Metroid

This is gonna be LONG (over 3k words long for this whole post). You know me~ So, get yourself a drink and get comfy I guess? I'll try to split it into sections of some sort

The main subreddit (oh boy I should make an account there shouldn't I. .... mmm eh, someday) has apparently called off the need to spoiler stuff, but imma still include that warning here, because boy will I spoil stuff for this.

So, SPOILERS for Metroid Dread ahead!

Ok! So. Alternative things are always fun. I'm basing this on some old bit of 'oh lord oh boy' stuff I scribbled up some months ago. But here's some cleaner takes on it

- For a moment, imagine if Quiet Robe didn't have to die where he did. That he lived past that point, and played a bit bigger of a role overall other than being a fantastic man and giving us enlightening lore bits. Or, well, at least think of him as living through the robot encounter - Samus has good enough reflexes, notices the suspicious Robot Chozo and grabs Quiet Robe so he doesn't get shot - this way we still get to fight the robot, but QR is spared

- A little slight bit less pissed of Samus and a living QR is our result of this. QR would have known that speaking about things would put him on the bad side of Raven Beak pretty automatically, so destroying one of his 'precious soldier replacements' doesn't change his position, since it's already on the negatives

- We love our good boy. Of course we'd like to see him live! And wouldn't it be fun if instead of "ADAM" talking to you through the comms, it'd be Quiet Robe instead? He'd certainly have some insight on stuff. Perhaps he'd even be able to inform Samus about Elun. Of course, you'd still need to go retrieve Plasma Beam to progress - unless QR would have some tech that'd help you with that, meaning you don't need to actually go to Elun (which would be the absolute best case scenario, I'll get to that and the Why This Is The Case a bit later)

~~~ 2 ~~~

- So, throughout the rest of your journey you'd be chatting up with QR. Of course, this is kinda where things have other possibilities. Raven Beak will of course still want QR dead, now more than ever since he's actually actively ruining his plans and getting on his way. No longer a passive onlooker, this would prove very troubling indeed. Both QR & RB are smart, and who knows how long they've spent on ZDR with just the two of them. RB would be able to come up with more plans, ways and methods to try and still get Samus' DNA, to guide her according to His plans. But QR has known of this plan for a good while too, he's helped to put it to motion afterall

- So, it's likely that to RB's irritation, QR could further agitate him by being able to predict and read what RB has and is planning and would be able to guide Samus past anything RB tries to set up - or at least warn her about them up front. Certainly it'd lessen the fun of discovering mysteries and all that, so they'd have to go about it in some ways to still keep things fun for the player if this turn of events was the case in gameplay. One of my personal headcanons is that QR hasn't been allowed to explore the planet on his own. He only has certain paths he's allowed to take and specific areas he can work at = he wouldn't know of every corner and location of things. He'd have heard of stuff from other Mawkin when they were still alive and about, but these tales and stories of other areas like Ghavoran and Cataris are pretty much purely based on what he's heard and been told. And of course he'd tell Samus what he can

- QR really has nothing to hide from Samus - other than maybe her relation to RB if he knows of the DNA donation. Who knows how Samus would react to getting to know that afterall. She might and will still be pissed about what happened on SR388, so she'd want to beat RB up. But she's just a slight bit less pissed because QR is alive. Still very uncool from RB to try and assassinate QR, but at least in this alternate take that attempt failed

~~~ 3 ~~~

- To jump back to some gameplay stuff. They sure did put a lot of emphasis on the E.M.M.I. units in preparation for Dread's release. So it'd be a bit of a shame and a cop-out for them to just be out of order from now on. A twist for sure, that they'd only be a small faction of the game and then not even be relevant after the halfway point. But what's the fun in that?

- Which means we'll have to bring them back somehow, right? What I propose, is the funky fun stuff of 'QR is pretty much in charge of the E.M.M.I. anyway, so who's to say he couldn't be able to control them in other ways than just switching them on and off'. Yeah they're set to hunt down Samus, but we don't see wildlife/other creatures in E.M.M.I. zones until you've blown up the E.M.M.I. = There's a good chance the E.M.M.I. will still annihilate any and all beings that make noise and move about. Which leads me to this: RB would be short on ways to interact with Samus since QR is doing his darnest to prevent it. What does RB have though? He has the robots, and we know he sends several of them after Samus throughout Dread. Those of you who hate fighting them, rejoice, because now there's a fudge ton more of them! Yaaaay! Absolutely amazing. Perhaps there's even more variants of them now since they've just gotten a promotion. Ones that look, act and are built closer to the infected Chozo Soldiers you fight after Elun, hmm?

- Ok ok. So. Now there's More Robot Chozo Soldiers. Brilliant. The increase in activity outside of just Samus ought to be noticeable by QR, and he'll have to have a bit of a chat with Samus. Of course the E.M.M.I. are still not friends of her, but within their zones (if not even outside of them?) QR could reactivate them to deal with the Robots. This now means that while you could get ambushed by a Robot outside of the zones (some are likely weaker than the miniboss variants, just there to be an additional enemy that simply doesn't respawn just like the other critters), you'd not be ambushed by them within the E.M.M.I. zones. E.M.M.I. zones are still dangerous because of, well, the E.M.M.I., but this time they're the more 'safe' zones so to speak. Dunno if there'd be jumpscares with the robots, or semi-scripted encounters, just More - but I'm sure people who get scared easily would just, celebrate jumpscares. Enjoy~

- Also who is to say a Robot Chozo Soldier wouldn't rarely be able to get in the E.M.M.I. zone at the exact same time as Samus does. Maybe once or twice. So have fun running away from both or trying to fight a robot while you're also running away from an E.M.M.I.. There's no guarantee that QR can turn off every single E.M.M.I. just as quickly as he does with the Purple one in Ferenia - aka literally next door to where he himself & the control panels for them are located. There could be a delay, so you'd not get help if an E.M.M.I. catches you (or maybe you get more time to counter than previously, but you still need to hit the timing. Pick whichever option you prefer, aid or no aid)

- Another fun thing with the E.M.M.I. that we need to consider is the fact Samus gets abilities from them. QR probably can't just give them to Samus, he wouldn't have the time to work on her suit along with how ever long it might take to gather things for the abilities - I'd assume resources are scarce. So you'd be faced with the choice of destroying the E.M.M.I. for their abilities, or leave them be so you’d have some place where you couldn’t be randomly ambushed (you can hear when an E.M.M.I. is in the same room). You'd have 'less safety' in a way, meaning you'd face the robots more often and perhaps new stronger types of them too - but you'd have new abilities to deal with them + you can take shortcuts now with these new abilities, so progress is faster and there's more options on where to go now. Amount of exploration on a balance board. Either just find hidden ways to progress in or go a more straightforward way while also gaining more new areas to explore. Dunno if destroying all E.M.M.I. would be required in the end, or if you'd be able to make it without doing that. Adds to replayability potentially

~~~ 4 ~~~

- Now then, back to QR. There's probably one pretty glaring thing you might have thought of by now. He survived an assassination, but where is he now? Still the same room? Is he safe? He might be attacked at any moment so probably not that safe. It'd certainly be something to have QR travel with Samus, but I'd imagine the amazingly fast-paced gameplay would suffer from escort missions. I love QR a lot, but it's pretty much a given that he's not going to be as nimble or agile as Samus. I can't. Imagine old man QR. Just. Doing flips after Samus. His bones. The precious boy is going to break his back, and legs, and every other bone. Nope. Samus would have to carry him I'd say, to get from a safe room to another. Restricts your movement, but at least you aren't waiting on him to catch up

- Still, I'd imagine it'd be more realistic for QR to stay in his room rather than getting outside of it. Obviously there's a pretty clear downside to this. It's very likely he doesn't have a way to defend himself there. He could though, maybe there's some stuff he has done and he can lock the place up? But let's be honest, that robot soldier got in there, they're gonna get in there again. Meaning that QR is likely on a timer and not exactly in a good spot. Who knows at what point in the story he'd just end up dying regardless of having survived the first encounter. Samus can't stay there forever, she needs to get out and she said she'd finish this once and for all afterall. It's a bitter thing, but with a high % the most likely outcome

- Besides, I feel QR has already resigned to his fate. He's got survivor's guilt, he has helped RB do all sorts of things that are likely not exactly that great - like the whole 'Make E.M.M.I. hunt Samus' thing - so high possibility on him being ashamed of what he's done. And giving his life to assist Samus could be a way to pay for his deeds in his mind

- Samus isn't going to be happy about this. She does understand sacrifices to a very personal level though. She's witnessed them several times now, and has even suggested sacrificing herself in Fusion. Who knows how she'd take this. She could prevent this, it could come full circle from her trying to prevent a sacrifice (Ian), to letting it happen - although begrudgingly (Adam), to trying to sacrifice herself and being convinced of an alternate way, to now taking AI Adam's place and convincing that a sacrifice in this case could be avoided. Or she could take Adam's place in the flashback with sacrificing another for the sake of the many (though teeeeeechnically she already supposedly did that with letting Adam go with the 'unfreezable Metroids' but hey). Either way, choices, possibilities, development. All the more fun if both are options for replayability - but a nightmare for those making the game and good lord what would even be canon at this point. The lore has turned into spaghetti. What is this, Zelda? (Don't ask me I don't actually know Zelda lore, I only know there's like multiple timelines or something?)

~~~ 5 ~~~

- Back on track! Remember Elun? Remember our fun jelly gummy parasite friends? Of course you do. You absorb your vitamins through your powersuit you absolute chad. - Now, here's the writing bit that started this all.

{{ Freaking... Imagine if QR wasn't dead yet by the time the X were released. Instead of the "... Goddamn it..." kinda reaction Samus has, do ya think she'd have more of an "... Oh FUCK." kinda reaction? And suddenly the 'sad/creepy' cutscene where the red X takes over QR's corpse becomes a whole lot more terrifying and worse. Would they reach him easily? Would it be just the X? Or would it be the wildlife? Would he be torn to shreds or perhaps he'd have a safe room built in case of an outbreak? Would Samus run right back to try and save him? Might they try and make a vaccine? Would that have been an alternate sinister way of getting Samus to give her Metroid DNA to them willingly? QR obviously would not want it. He'd probably rather perish than give RB what he wants - likely so at least, he's not exactly a fan of the stuff they're doing, but more over QR is worried about Samus and doesn't want to harm her in any way. But just imagine the scenario, RB offering Samus a choice: Dead/Infected QR or her Metroid DNA. And even then there's multiple paths the story could have gone in. Gotta love speculating, right? }}

- Ok so that's probably a lot to take in. Lemme break it up for you. So firstly, if QR has managed to live this far, are we just going to end up loosing him, again, but this time instead of a swift death, it's possession instead. He's gonna lose his mind, his free will. Will he be scared? Try to run? Or would he have been prepared and made his peace with it. The X started it all, it might as well end him and he's fine with that. It goes against him not wanting to hurt Samus, but you can't be perfect. Witness her scrambling to try and save him, and be absolutely broken. Will you make it in time? Will you outrun the ridiculously fast spreading X Parasites? What if you're too late? Do you have to kill him now? Just like you killed that scientist in Fusion? Is the game going to make you fight our precious boy? QR boss fight?

- Or will the room be empty? Previously you could return here to have a more direct chat and exchange with QR whenever, but now the place is just dead and empty - perhaps there's a rampaging creature here, but no QR in sight. You're made to wonder what happened. This would kinda allow the end of the game to play as it does in Dread already

- If he does somehow manage to survive and makes it out without getting infected, and Also avoids death by any other manner and makes it to Samus' ship in one piece and all that.. Pretty much impossible, but this would be the 'happy ending' kinda deal. Realistic? Not really. But if you wanna dream I won't stop you. Boy I can't even stop myself. I Want this, but I know we ain't getting it. Besides, who is to say he'd end up living even in this situation? If Metroid Samus shows up, you bet QR is gonna let/make her absorb him to be able to regain control with the extra Thoha genes. And Boom, more emotional damage for Samus. Yeah maybe QR could steer the ship, take off as Samus is still trying to figure stuff out, but we're really twisting things here to try and get the best possible ending

~~~ 6 ~~~

- And now for that other bit, it being yet another plan RB crafted up. Man's got backup plans a plenty that he can come up with on the spot. If QR's life means nothing and he's just a pawn among the rest, and he sees Samus can be emotionally manipulated (assuming that's possible, she's pretty hardened by now), that means this pawn just promoted to play a more important role on his board. If he can't use force, and the 'awaken your inner Metroid' doesn't work quickly enough to RB's liking, he could threaten Samus & QR with Elun. RB is smart, he's been steering Samus with fake Adam so far, so clearly he's got some mindgame experience to him. QR wouldn’t want to let RB have anything, but Samus would have to weigh an ally’s life on this decision. And that’s kinda cruel. They’d either have to talk it out or rush stuff

- Raven Beak though? Yeah he's absolutely disrespecting all his fallen Mawkin brethren by just undoing the seal - QR will handily point this out to him - but it's about pride and desire now, and you should know better than to doubt the iron will of a man ready to sacrifice his own and a whole separate tribe for a cause. He's got all the pieces he needs, and he's gonna use them. Feeling guilty? Don't know her. He's gonna run his plan through, one way or another

- Main threat here is that while Samus is immune to the X, QR is not. RB is ready to take risks and gamble, but currently he's pretty cozy and safe away from the threat of X. In fact, he could just blow up the whole place right now and leave. Yeah if he'd do that he'd have to scrap the whole Metroid plan - which obviously isn't happening. But Samus and everyone else would lose if she'd die here & she said she'd finish this once and for all - and we gotta assume that that doesn't involve her losing

- All of this is obviously hanging on the fact that they'd be able to make another vaccine in the first place - one that would work and not just go crazy like it should have had it not been for Samus' unique DNA zoo. QR is a Thoha so there's probably a chance it'd work even better? Or not be quite enough. Perhaps they'd need a pure Metroid for the vaccine, but really, they make Metroids out of exploded particles cleaned off suit surfaces, they can pretty much go ham

- And yeah it's going to potentially fall apart if RB needs for someone else to go to Elun and can't actually remotely unseal it in the first place. But even there he does have his robots. If it has to be a scannable person then he oop, but these are just ways of looking into it deeper. Surely if this scenario would be the one to go with he'd have a working method (outside of "I'll go myself and then turn into 'fast as frick boi' as I, the mighty Raven Beak, depart the section faster than the X can". Dude can Shine Spark without much set-up and get fancy with it and Flash Shift, and the ego to believe)

*

So yeah : ) Those are some thoughts I've been rolling in my head. Hopefully you had a time reading 'em all~ It's a lot, but sometimes you wanna read all you can

Anyway, I'll get back to writing stuff following canon lore, with extra spice but mostly still keeping it to what I could see as 'this is how the story went' kinda take on events (If you wanna write your own 'what if' takes and alternate storylines, boy I'd love to read them <3 Hit me up if you do~)

[lilbuddie]

Seven Sentence Sunday 📝

Was tagged by @the-likesofus and @thosetwofirefighters a whiiiiile ago, but I’m always bending the rules hehe

Here you have a snippet from my insanely fluffy name-centric WIP:

Buck’s lounging on Eddie’s couch with a bowl of popcorn, trying to watch a documentary on space exploration, but he’s been hardly paying attention to it at all—his heart stuck in his throat ever since the conversation with Eddie and Chris. Chris’ bedtime is approaching and Buck wishes he could hug the boy and smush his curls.

As if he can really read his mind, even from all the way in Texas, Eddie texts him.

Eddie 🧩: FaceTime at 8pm sharp

sent 7:24pm / read 7:26pm

Eddie 🧩: hope you’ve made yourself comfortable

sent 7:25pm / read 7:26pm

Buck spends the next 30 minutes tidying up the living room, taking a quick shower and sitting in front of his phone impatiently. At exactly 8pm, Eddie’s caller ID flashes, and Buck hesitates.

Playing fast and loose with the number of sentences here but rules are made to be slightly bent. Also, hasn’t been beta-ed yet but 🤷‍♀️

“Tagging” everyone who wants to participate!! If you see this game and want to do it, you’ve been tagged.

[schnozzbun-art]

for the commentary thing - I'm just going with my two favourite moments from ASAL

[She felt a light tap on her shoulder.]

to

[“There’s a man out there called Rando,” he whispered. “He’s powerful. Lives very far away. It would be a dangerous trip, but if we got his help you wouldn’t live underground anymore. The four of us could be safe there.”]

in chapter one, and [“Fine.” Buddy sheathed her sword. “I won’t kill you, yet. But I will.”]

to [“...Let’s find those caves,” Rando said.]

in chapter 2

Ask Game: Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and I’ll give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!

/Oooh, some very generous selections! Hot damn let’s see how I go, especially cause I haven’t read this stuff in a whiiiiile./

============ ASAL Chapter 1 ============

She felt a light tap on her shoulder.

Buddy flinched awake. Sticky was lying across from her with a finger to his lips.

“Hey Buddy,” he whispered, barely audible.

“Hi,” she whispered back.

/You know this sequence reads as mildly creepy in retrospect XD I think my logic at the time was since they’re in the dark and have very limited visibility, and also talking to someone in the dark is such a wildly intimate and immediate thing (big ‘staying up late at a slumber party energies) I think the lack of dialogue tags helps the pacing soar quite quickly. Also poor Sticky on a meta level is no stranger to having his intentions with Buddy misinterpreted, be it by the characters or the reader/player fdkjah. If I had written this today I maybe would have put an extra sentence of Buddy understanding that Sticky’s gesture meant he wanted her to keep quiet, but hm that might have been hand-holding the reader too much. It’s always a tricky balance/.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yep.”

Buddy was instinctively aware of how close Brad was. He was barely a yard away from her, a huge brown mass of cloth and hair that rose and fell as he breathed. She could tell by the clipped words and the shallowness of his breathing that Sticky was aware of it too.

/Whoops, that last sentence is broken lol. If I had written that today I would have said “She could also tell by Sticky’s clipped words and shallow breath that he was aware of it too.” Because Brad was the last person I talked about, the reader is prepped to assume Buddy is still describing Brad, rather than the fact she’s now talking about Sticky, WHOOPS. Genuinely considering editing that line cause it’s so jarring to me now, huh./  /Also the way I dehumanise Brad here in my language is very intentional. Buddy is so alienated from Brad she’s struggling to see him as a person and more like an animalistic collection of parts. “Huge,” “mass”, “brown”, “hair.” Kind of like she’s sleeping next to a dozing bear, and not the cuddly kind./

“What is it?” Buddy said.

“Just wanted to check on you,” he said. ��How are you?”

/Sticky’s dialogue is deliberately a bit stilted here. He knows the danger, he also wants to keep his tone light so he doesn’t scare Buddy. It’s interesting to think about how adults consciously change their tone/diction when they want to broach something difficult to a kid, and I wanted to prep the reader a bit to be like ‘oh something’s going to happen here.’/

“I’m okay. I’m ten, I guess.”

/Not to pat myself on the back too hard but I always thought this line was pretty fun. Kids are great at dry humour, man, especially when they don’t realise how dry they’re being./

“Are you happy here?”

The question was as subtle as a boulder crashing into a lake. It felt like Sticky had just plucked something private and blinding out of her mind and dropped it right in front of them.

/Buddy has felt SO isolated and SO alone in her feelings, it’s unfathomable to her that someone would be so razor sharp in pointing out her unhappiness, even though it’s, probably extremely obvious to anyone looking at her.../

Buddy pretended not to understand. “Today was fun. I’m happy being with you right now.”

“But are you happy here? In this place, with Brad?”

Buddy fell silent. She opened her mouth but couldn’t make any words. Brad’s breathing roared in her ears. He was too close.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Achingly slow, she rose to her hands and knees and crawled across the ground until she was above Sticky’s face. She was so close she could smell the whiff of liquor and expired make-up on him. /Can’t give Sticky too much credibility XD Also I wanted to hint that maybe Sticky’s lips are a bit looser than normal due to the alcohol at Buddy’s party, leading to the fatal anecdote he shares about Dusty later./  He didn’t move. She lowered her face and surprised herself at the sharp simplicity of the words which poured from her mouth into his ear.

“No. I hate it here. I love you all but I hate being by myself alone. I feel like I’m crazy. I feel like I’m going to die. Sometimes I can’t tell when I’m awake or asleep. I want to leave.”

/While we’ve been feeling Buddy’s misery living underground, this is the first time we hear her voice them in her own words. It really is such a task finding the words to describe when you’re feeling so monumentally awful. The inability to articulate it, the fear that you’re admitting something wrong, the shame. Little Buddy is being very brave here! I also really wanted to put into perspective how, you know, Buddy has been living in what is essentially solitary confinement in her prime developmental years. Brad’s intentions aside—this is killing her./

Buddy’s throat closed. A grasping hand in her conscience forbade her from saying anything more. She felt light-headed with relief and terror. She didn’t know what would happen now. Didn’t she know better? Wasn’t today proof enough that wishing for something was just an invitation for disappointment? What if Brad had heard?

/I really wanted to push how much Buddy is genuinely, genuinely afraid of Brad. It’s something we see continually throughout Painful, and something when I was writing this I didn’t think enough people discussing Buddy really talked about. So much of Buddy’s actions in Painful aren’t motivated by spite, or anger—but fear of Brad./

But she trusted Sticky. He didn’t goof off like Cheeks or fuss like Rick. And most importantly, he wouldn’t crack under Brad. For Buddy it was worth the fear of getting into trouble if it meant she could talk about how she felt. It made it feel real. It made her feel real. If she couldn’t confide in Sticky, she had nothing left.

/Oh Buddy ;v; Also my Sticky bias is shining here XD But hey! Painful shows he’s the most resourceful, or at least physically resilient, of the uncles. I felt like this was a feasible angle to take for his character./

Sticky remained still as Buddy crawled back to her spot. Once she did, he rubbed his hand over his face and breathed out. “Okay, Bud... Okay, okay.” From the setness of his jaw, it looked like he’d made a decision. He inched closer to Buddy.

/I wanted to give the impression that this was something Sticky had been mulling over for a long time. Also something I’m surprised no one has called me out on is how the hell Buddy can see all this considering there is absolutely zero light, not even from the sun/moon cause they’re underground XD Listennnnn it’s a storyyyy and it’s fanfic. If I was charging money then I would have come up with a better explanation or fitted the prose to only describe hearing/scent/sensation. But listen I think stuff like this has it’s place. I’ve read stories that never explained things that were much more jarring but didn’t let me get in the way of enjoying it, so I hope, dear reader, you extend the same grace to me./

“There’s a man out there called Rando,” he whispered. “He’s powerful. Lives very far away. It would be a dangerous trip, but if we got his help you wouldn’t live underground anymore. The four of us could be safe there.”

/Firstly! Credit where credit is due, the idea of Sticky being the one to pitch to Buddy leaving for Rando was directly inspired by the fic Buddy. It’s a really good read and it ended up being an extremely foundation platform when I was writing chapter 1.//I just loved the idea of being able to actually see how Sticky pitched the idea to Buddy. As I said, I think it makes sense that it was Sticky’s choice to leave, and the one who seems most fascinated by Rando’s cause, seeing that in Painful he is the one that integrates so fully into the Rando army, donning their clothes and knowing how to fight, while Rick and Cheeks don’t. Like, Sticky is not the focus of ASAL at all he’s more of a plot device/exposition guy functionally BUT in my mind his arc really centres around actively taking responsibility for past foolishness and irreverence in a want to make something of himself and make a positive change for once (even though we all know his intentions were just as misguided as Brad’s...)/

/Also what a way for Sticky to plant the idea. Not just for Buddy to be free and with her uncles, but voicing the unspeakable, getting away from Brad. It feels so sacrilegious! And Sticky is very much trying to gauge Buddy a little, but his gut instinct is right, she doesn’t want to be near Brad anymore, or at least she doesn’t right in that moment./

I was also so excited to start cultivating the Rando mythos. Something I really want to tease out in this fic is how much Rando has become exalted into this superhuman figurehead. It sets up Buddy being so disillusioned when she does meet him, and also sets the foundation of stuff i want to explore with Rando’s arc about identity./

============ ASAL Chapter 2 ============

“Fine.” Buddy sheathed her sword. “I won’t kill you, yet. But I will.”

Rando nodded. “You will.”

The corner of her mouth quirked downwards. He was too accepting, too consenting to it.

/Part suspicion, part resentment. Buddy is TRYING to live out her little power fantasy to make up for how hellish her life has been and these terrible men aren’t falling in line!! 😤 This is mostly suspicion though. And Buddy has full right to be/ 

Buddy crossed her arms. “So you promise to do whatever I say?”

“To the b-best of my ability.”

Buddy glared.

/I still love how much of a teen Buddy acts in this section. I don’t say this to belittle her, so much as like, we’ve all been there XD I feel like people shy away from that part of her too much. Yeah she’s a teen with a sword, but she’s still a teen!! She’s gonna do teen things like cross her arms and call you a dumbass. I love her./

Rando inclined his head humbly. “Yes, B-Buddy, I will. P-Promise.”

Buddy closed her eye and nodded. “Good,” she said. “I want you to throw me.”

“...Excuse me?”

“You’re strong. I want you to throw me. Up there.” She pointed to the top of The List.

Rando followed her finger, then looked back at her.

“B-But your, um. Your foot.”

“You better not drop me then. Now—” She raised her arms with an air of ‘I’m waiting.’

/I could not tell you whether I was purposefully referencing that one sheldon meme or not, but what I can say is that I find it stupidly funny and reading this always makes me think of it and now I am plaguing you with my visions./

With no further protest, Rando gingerly picked her up, balancing her back and legs on both hands.

Rando raised her up and down, testing her weight. Then did a few light throws in the air. The rock face loomed over them. It looked three stories, at least. Buddy kept her hand clasped around the hilt of her sword, gaze trained on the top of The List, playing the action in her mind.

/I like the description here. I think now with my style of writing I tend to go a little more specific on the setting details, but I think the simplicity of the description here works well at letting the actions speak for themselves and reflects the matter-of-fact perspective Buddy has on her tasks. I think it’s definitely one of the most cinematic sections of the chapter. /

“One…”

Buddy braced herself.

“...two…”

A sharp inhale.

Then.

She soared up, up, up with breath-snatching speed. /You know that moment when you lower the window in a fast-moving car and the rush of wind takes your breath? I assumed ‘surely this would be like that’ when I wrote this./ Wind rushed through Buddy’s hair and ears. The speed wrung a tear out of her eyeball, but she didn’t let it sway her aim.

Time slowed. The throw had been superb. Just before she ran out of momentum, in a perfect arc, her sword shot out from its scabbard and slashed Rando in half.

/Very symbolic. Meant to make any reader who is any way endeared to Rando just a smidge nervous./

/Whatever happens, on the most essential level that matters, Rando isn’t making it out of this alive./

/Also this part was just very fun to write. Anime as hell in a way I feel you can only really get away with in fanfic, ha./

There was a moment where she stopped. A peaceful moment at the zenith where her body was suspended and still, as if gravity was deciding what to do with her. Her mind’s eye inscribed something in the rock.

Buddy, written in bold uppercase at the very top, all the names below scratched off like tallies in a childhood dresser. One horizontal line to warn Olathe. To let every man know the new height she’d reached. She’d show them. She was going to be big.

/Editing this chapter last year when I realised I could draw a link between the height marks on Buddy’s dresser in chapter 1 to her scratching the name out of the warlords, I did SUCH an excited little dance. It’s the way that Buddy’s quest, even though extremely understandable and brutally logical for what she wants to achieve, is still very much funnelled through this very childish perception. To Buddy big = STRONG. She wants power in the most brutish definition possible. It’s the classroom fantasy of turning 12 feet tall and terrorising your bullies, except the stakes could not be higher for Buddy’s case./

She fell.

/A prophecy like Icarus? Who can say. (I mean, I can, I know how it ends. But y’all will just have to wait >:3c)./

She didn’t think about how foolish she was. How the ground was hurtling towards her at breakneck speed. How Rando could just take one step back and watch her head crack open like an egg. How she was just one person, one kid, one girl.

/The way I like to write, description and especially internal emotions are always focalised through the POV character rather than an all-knowing narrator, and the classic rule is that the more a character denies something in prose, the more likely that there’s a good chance the opposite is true. I think one of the most important things with how I write Buddy is the fact that she does experience quite a bit of doubt. The odds are so colossally stacked against her, and she knows this. But to live in that despair is to die, and Buddy refuses to live in fear. She thinks it’s shameful due to how Brad’s parenting beat any trace of cowardice out of her, and also bc she can’t afford to be scared! She can’t let her guard down, she can’t succumb to fear, cause if she does it’s very likely she’ll die :( /

/The separation between ‘kid’ and ‘girl’ is also very purposeful. Besides Buddy of course being at a disadvantage due to being a child, she has also ruefully internalised these notions of being the “““““weaker sex”””””. Lot of resentment here./

She was wrapped in the bliss of being in the air, of the wind whistling through her ears, of her hair fluttering like bird-black feathers, of the outline of her path to freedom being just within reach.

/I’m very purposeful in how I link bird-like imagery with Buddy. Is it a cliche to associate birds and flight with freedom? Absolutely. But does it fit well and is it cool aesthetically? Also yes. I am vibing leave me be. Also while ‘bird-black feathers’ is a cool image I still see her as brunette in my head XD/

Rando caught her.

/Despite Buddy’s dark intent, despite how much Rando’s life is on the line—he still catches her. Without saying too much, it’s setting up a dynamic I am very very keen to explore in ASAL./

Buddy gasped as the rush of air left her and her stomach lurched to position. /That ‘stomach plop’ feeling you get in rollercoasters. Horrible but electrically thrilling./ She looked up at the two inscrutable holes of Rando’s mask beholding her, and stared right back. /Buddy and Rando are sizing each other up here. Both of them really get in this moment, with different levels of trust/reservation that “This person is 100% serious about their role in this, huh.”/ There was a quiet telepathy. A silent comprehension between them which understood: No turning back.

“...Let’s find those caves,” Rando said.

[theteddylupinexperience]

I’ve Got You-Marcus Moreno x f!reader

AN: this is my first fic in a whiiiiile, so I hope you guys enjoy! This is technically a female reader insert, but there are only a couple of pronouns used. Reader has fairly nondescript powers, but in my head it’s kind of a cross between Stranger Things and Carrie. Huuuuuuge huge thank you to @pascalpanic for being so encouraging and the sweetest beta reader ever! Thanks again darling!

Warnings: a couple swears, kissing, anxiety, brief mention of a bad relationship, blink and you’ll miss it Taylor Swift reference, Miracle Guy deserves his own warning, but really this is pure Marcus loving fluff

The room feels tight. That’s the only way you can explain it, it feels as though your lungs are compressed just sitting here. The conference room in the Heroics headquarters has never been your favorite, especially as a new recruit. The constant need to prove yourself to everyone is absolutely overwhelming.

The situation at hand is far from simple, Lavagirl and Mrs. Vox are both away on maternity leave again and the team needs people to cover for them the next few months. Marcus Moreno sits across from you, and flashes you a brief smile. You’re sure he can sense your nerves, he knows you too well. Although he was the leader of the Heroics, he had been the one to take you under his wing when you first joined, explaining that it was normal for your powers to feel like they were controlling you, despite you wanting it to be the other way around. You’d been hiding your abilities since you were a child, but now that you were an adult and allowed to feel everything so deeply, they had shown themselves more prevalently than ever. A week after a blow out fight with your ex, you had found yourself in the lobby of this very building, begging anyone who would listen to help you. The windows had blown out of your apartment when your fight reached its peak, and you were terrified that you could hurt someone.

Your attention is brought back to the room around you when Miracle Guy speaks up. “I just don’t see why we need to bring anyone in, we can handle things around here.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Miracle Guy, remember the alien invasion last year?” Tech-No shoots back.

“I remember we were saved by our children, why can’t they join us?”

“Maybe because they’ve got pre algebra during our training times,” Marcus speaks up, the eye roll in his voice palpable. The corners of your mouth twitch up as you try not to laugh. Marcus catches you, and shoots you a wink that makes your heart stop.

“Who do you suggest, Moreno?” Miracle Guy barks. God, he’s annoying, you think to yourself.

“I suggest Firefly,” Marcus says your nickname as though it’s the most obvious choice in the world, and you puff up slightly at his confidence in you. The pride, however, is short lived when you hear Miracle Guy scoff.

“Firefly?? Is that a joke?” he starts, “she’s completely out of control, she could get us all killed.” He sends you a cutting glare as he continues, “Or she could kill all of us.”

The room erupts into argument, you can’t keep straight who’s defending you and who’s agreeing with Miracle Guy. You wouldn’t be able to hear it past the blood rushing in your ears, anyways. You briefly catch Marcus’s eye as you stand up, but you can’t bear to fully look at him. What if he feels the same way? Oh god, what if they ALL feel the same way?

Miracle Guy’s words swirled around in your head as you storm out of the conference room. You manage, barely, to hold your tears back until you are out of sight, not wanting any of his accusations to ring true.

You turn a corner, finding yourself in the children’s area of the Heroics headquarters. You pace up and down the rows of lockers, just stay calm, don’t think about it, just stay calm. You’re shaking, tears finally spilling over.

You still in the middle of the hall, breathing hard and covering your face with your hands as your emotions reach a fever pitch.

“FUCK!” you scream, and every door of the entire row of lockers flies open.

“Firefly?”

You whip around, the doors slamming shut as electricity crackles in the air.

“Marcus?” you whisper. The tension drops immediately from your body, replaced with crushing shame as you realize your boss has witnessed your outburst. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I just-“ you start, tears slipping hot down your face again.

Marcus looks at you for just a second, and you panic that he’s going to fire you, or worse, be disappointed in you. You go to apologize again, but before you can say anything, he’s crossed the hall to you and enveloped you in a tight embrace.

“Hey,” he starts, petting your hair, but never letting go of you, “Don’t be sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I never should have let that conversation get so out of control.” He freezes momentarily when he realizes what he’s said, and he pulls back, holding tightly onto your arms and looking directly at you. “You are not out of control, Firefly. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, you have this incredible power within you, and of course it’s going to take time to get down. I have nothing but absolute faith in you,” Marcus promises.

You hazard a look into his eyes, your stomach knotting tightly in reaction to what you fear could be love. Marcus is a magnetic force of a man, someone you’ve been drawn to since the very second you walked into his office for the first time. There’s so much you want to say to him.

“I’m sorry,” is what comes out. “Why?” Marcus looks confused. You huff out a shaky laugh, “I don’t know.” He smiles at your laugh, and your heart swells. The doors of the lockers begin to shake again, threatening to burst open the way you fear your chest might.

If Marcus notices, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t tease you, though a flash of a smirk crosses his face before he pulls you into him again. “I’ve got you,” he says. A few moments pass with Marcus just holding you while your breathing settles. “Hey,” he starts again, “come over for dinner? I know Missy would love to see you.”

You giggle lightly, pulling away from him. “Sure, I’d really like that. Missy is the best.”

Marcus feigns shock and offense at your statement, “What about me?”

“You’re okay, I guess,” you concede. Before you realize what you’re doing, you run your fingers through his hair. You watch his ears turn red at your touch, and briefly toy with the idea that he could feel the same way about you. He brings his hand up to cover yours, and brings it down to his mouth to place a kiss to your palm that makes your head spin. He feels like a sunset at the beach, or the first sip of your favorite coffee.

Marcus smiles, showing the dimple you adore so much.

You could cry again at the way he’s looking at you, but this time it doesn’t feel like rage or shame. It feels calm, calm in a way you’ve never felt before. All at once, your emotions are settled and your racing thoughts are quieted.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks, breaking you out of the trance of his eyes and lips on you.

“I’ve just… I’ve never felt like this before. Not since I was little. You make me feel like I’m home, Marcus, I don’t know how to explain it,” you admit cautiously, noting how the lockers begin to shake again at the rise in emotions.

“Can I try something?” Marcus breathes.

You nod, and the rattling gets louder the harder you try to silence your mind. Your thoughts are everywhere, overwhelmed with everything Marcus, as you try to figure out what he’s going to do.

Before you can ask any questions, or even second guess yourself, his lips are on yours. Your eyes flutter closed, and you melt into the kiss, trying to memorize the way his hands feel on your waist, and his beard feels on your mouth, in case this is all a dream and you’re about to wake up.

The rattling stops immediately, and the hallway is filled with a blissful quiet as Marcus reluctantly pulls away to breathe. He rests his forehead against yours, and moves his hands from your waist to your jaw, to cradle your face in his hands. You are acutely aware of how hard you’re breathing, but also aware of the fact that the hallway is silent despite your heart and mind absolutely soaring after Marcus kissed you.

“How did you do that?” you giggle

“That was all you, sweetheart,” Marcus tells you earnestly, “you’ve been in control all along, I just gave you somewhere to focus that energy.”

You stand on your toes to kiss him again, more fiercely this time, almost desperate as you pour every ounce of love you feel for this man into the kiss. One of his arms moves around to the small of your back as he walks you backwards to rest against one of the lockers. You’re the first to pull away this time, just briefly, to place soft kisses along Marcus’s jawline. He sighs breathlessly at the affection, and gently grabs your shoulders to push you back. He looks deep into your eyes, and you get lost in just how gorgeous he is right now. His lips are red and swollen, his eyes dark, and when he leans down to place a firm, chaste kiss to your forehead you’re sure this is heaven.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about doing that since the moment I saw you for the first time,” Marcus says.

You laugh again, your cheeks burning deliciously from how hard you’re grinning at him, “The feeling is mutual.”

“Are you still coming over for dinner?”

“Can we do that again?” you ask, amusement and affection rich in your voice.

It’s Marcus’s turn to laugh now, and he laughs deep in his chest, tilting his head back, and you take the opportunity to sneak a kiss just below his ear.

Marcus cuddles you closer to him, your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He smooths your hair down, and kisses the top of your head.

“We can do anything you want, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

“So...This is kind of awkward, isn’t it?” Swire swished a glass of whiskey between her fingers. “I’ve never seen you drink this much before.”

“She’d usually try and stop me.” Hoshiguma signaled for another stack, and the bartender dutifully refilled the pyramid of shot glasses in front of her.

The Feline shrugged. “She’d also know how when you’re in this kind of mood, and honestly? Kinda want to see what happens when you get drunk.”

“And tonight’s as good a night as any.” The Oni groaned. “Did she have to cut through my Hanya on top of everything else? I won’t have them watching me while I sleep tonight because they’re getting fixed by Vulcan. This sucks.”

“It’s weird to think she was the life of the party in our group, but I guess her getting flustered at everything we did or said gave us something to build off of, huh?”

Hoshi nodded with a sigh. “Yeah...Honestly, though? That cleared one thing up pretty good for me.”

“Oh, really?” She finally downed the shot in her hand. “And what’d that be?”

“Well, for the longest time, I was kinda torn, but I didn’t see what was right in front of me: Ch’en’s entire life is about duty, what she has to do to meet her expectations and get others around her to do the same. You, though? You know how to have fun, take a break from all the bullshit and just let loose...Yeah, there wasn’t ever really a choice, was there?”

Swire just stared at her as she talked. “You don’t...You’re sure you aren’t drunk or something already? Because if you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about-”

“It’s kinda lucky I didn’t make a move on her before now, honestly.” The Oni chuckled to herself. “Not like she would have said yes, anyway. She’s lonely, but she’d never admit that long enough to think about it. Still, that tail looked mighty strong for something that thin...”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

She shrugged. “I’unno. A while. At least as long as I’ve known you, I think.”

“And you didn’t say something until now?!” The Feline smacked her glass on the bartop, and it shattered in her hand. “...Ow!”

“Why’re you so uppity right now? Come on, let’s go fix that up.” Hoshi left a few hundred LMD on the counter and sloshed off her barstool.

The money-cat nursed her wounded paw with her other hand. “I can feeeeel some of the glaaass got stuuuuck this suuuucks so muuuch.”

“You sing like a bird when you’re hurt. Here, let me see it.” She looked it over, holding Swire’s wrist for a moment before nodding to herself. “It’s all skin-deep. Nothing some medi-gel can’t stitch up.”

“That’s a relief. Um, Hoshi, are you going to give me my hand back?”

The Oni turned her eyes to the Feline’s, peering through them. “I’unno. You mind if I don’t?”

“...No?” It hadn't taken that much thought, but the answer surprised her more than anyone else. “But it’d be nice if you’d just come out and ask for what you want. Normally you’re way more dir-”

“Wanna go back to your place, fix your little scrape up, and let me squeeze you like one of those stuffed bunny dolls Closure sells so many of? That direct enough for ya?” She felt a stray drop of liquor on the corner of her lip and licked it off.

Swire nodded, shaking a little. “Y-yeah, loud and clear.”

“Good, now let’s-” The Feline wasn’t moving. “Look, the faster we get there, the faster your hand-”

“You have something on your face.” She hiccuped.

Hoshiguma considered just picking her up and taking her away like that, but it didn’t feel right somehow. Besides, she didn’t have a mirror; maybe there was something there. “Really?”

“I’ll get it.” And seemingly forgetting about the pain, the money-cat cupped the Oni’s face in her hands, stood on her toes, and tugged down to reduce the final distance between their lips to 0 for a moment. “...Heh. Now we can go back to my place~”

“Had to wait for the whiskey to hit your brain?” Now was the perfect time to sweep her off her feet, which Hoshi immediately did.

She shook her head. “No, it did that a whiiiiile ago. I just wantcha to know how I feel, even if I kinda don’t yet.”

“Gotcha.” The Oni let her eyes wander openly now that they had things settled. “Well, I read you loud and clear...”

---------

The next morning, Swire noticed a few things in rapid succession: she hadn’t put on her pajamas last night, she’d fallen asleep on her couch - correction, on Hoshiguma, who was on her couch and also pajama-less - and from the little bit she remembered from last night...Apparently, this was going to be happening more than once.

Why was even just the thought of that enough to make her grin?

‘Y’know, I bet Ch’en would kill us for skipping out on work, but since she’s not here…’ The Feline talked herself into calling in sick as she stayed near-motionless except for the impossible-to-stop purring, her head comfortably sandwiched between two peaks while cradled in the Oni-Curve Valley. She felt like a puzzle piece that finally found where it fit.

An unknowable amount of time later, Hoshi’s breathing changed, but she similarly didn’t move. “G’morning,”she half-muttered, half-yawned.

“It sure is.” Swire sighed. “We don’t have to go to work today, do we?”

“Hmm...Nope. Doctor said we’re s’posed to take some time and breathe.” Saying that, she squeezed her arms a little tighter around her couchmate.

The purring intensified. “Good~ I’ll just work extra-hard tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Hoshiguma sighed. “Maybe you’re more like her than I-”

“Only so I can spend more time with you. This is sooo nice, I don’t want the wonder to fade so quick, you know?”

The Oni thought for a moment before sliding Swire closer to her face. “C’mere for a second.”

“But I’m already h-” Smooch. “-heheh. You need something?”

“A lot more than I thought I did. For right now, though? I don’t want to think about tomorrow, or work, or Ch’en, or Lungmen, or anything, except you and me. Is that reasonable?”

The Feline giggled. “You’re asking the wrong girl about that, Hoshi.”

“Am I, now?” Smooch. Hoshi was already coming to like that option. “Then you don’t mind my being a little unreasonable for now? While we still have today?”

“While we still have today?...We might as well enjoy it to the fullest.” And so saying, Swire settled her head between the couch and the Oni’s neck, promising herself to do just that.

[ariannjs]

KARIN | A SasuSaku FanFic (10/10)

(Karin - Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9)

——–

Hey guys! It's been a whiiiiile! I'm so sorry that I'm just uploading this now. To be honest, this epilogue has been finished since last August but idk I felt quite afraid to post it that I totally forgot all about it@.@ Nonetheless, here it isss! Accck I'm shy! HAHA. But here's a late New Year and Valentine's Gift to you all, SS fam!

Thank you for journeying with me as I wrote my very first multi-chaptered SasuSaku fic! I am extremely grateful for all of your encouraging comments on this and all my other works. 2019 has been really difficult but I praise God because this writing journey became highly therapeutic for me that it led me to meeting more SS fans as well! So yeah, Arigatou Gozaimashita!

Alright, I won't hold you back for long, here's the Epilogue of "Karin"! Enjoy!xx

——– 

The only time that Sasuke Uchiha had felt incredibly nervous was back when his father was mentoring him on how to use Katon. Though many years had passed, he could still vividly remember that heart-pounding, stomach-twisting sensation of not knowing if he’d be able to produce an impressive result as his father’s eyes were fixated on him. 

And now, he could feel the same thing with what he was planning to do.

Although they didn’t really have the best father-son relationship, he knew that if Fugaku Uchiha was still alive, he’s the best person who could give him the most logical advice that he needed at the moment, considering that they were, in many ways, similar in terms of their personality. 

That’s why absurdly, he wished his father was here to tell him how to execute his plan in a step-by-step manner like how he passed on to him the Great Fireball Technique.

Sasuke wasn't the kind of person who finds asking questions necessary, a manifestation of the superiority that tended to be his facade even in his most vulnerable state. But if only he could, there were lots of questions that he would like to ask his Otou-san.

How exactly did father ask mother to marry him?

Did he feel as insanely apprehensive as I am right now?

Did mother actually say yes on father’s first attempt to ask?

How many chances does a man have anyway, just in case...just in case the woman says no?

These, and probably a lot more.

With thoughts all over the place, Sasuke fidgeted on the couch as he watched Sakura make funny faces at the giggling Suika on the floor of the Hozuki’s living room. 

She’s still so annoying, he couldn’t help but think. Doesn’t she have the slightest idea about how much he was falling in love with her all the more each day?

Observing Sakura with Suika has been one of his favorite past times ever since the redhead baby was born. It just showed him much of the pureness of her heart towards people, children in particular. And it only solidified his resolve that he has made the right decision – probably the best in his life so far – about spending the rest of his life with his female teammate in his genin squad.

He planned to ask her that special question today, when the opportunity arises. His brain has been trying its best to figure out how to do so ever since he came out of the hospital weeks ago. But being Sasuke Uchiha, there was no grand preparation and sappy romantic gestures despite the ridiculous suggestions of his best friend and the disgusting persuasion of his sensei for him to read his favorite book. All he knew was it was completely fixed in his mind that this woman was the one he wanted to marry.

And today was the day that he’s gonna make Sakura Haruno say yes to being an Uchiha.

So while they were waiting for the Hozuki couple to finish packing their belongings, he was on the alert for any open chance to bring up his question in the same way he has his guard up whenever a possible enemy is lingering around.

“Is something bothering you, Sasuke-kun?”

Tch. Why does she have to know him so well?

He tersely shook his head, eyes on Suika who was curiously staring at him with her tiny hand in her mouth.

“You know I’m always here to listen when you’re ready.” Sakura showed that breathtaking smile of hers that seemed to be reserved just for him. TCH! 

“Oh, you want to go to Uncle Sasuke? Okay! Okay! Stop bouncing!” She then giggled to the kid, leaned to carry her, and then placed her on Sasuke’s lap.

Suika stretched an arm out to reach for his face, and for a moment, it was effective in drawing his gaze away from Sakura. But the head medic moved closer to wipe the side of Suika's mouth with a bib as the baby babbled incoherent words.

For a second, Sasuke's mind went blank, bringing him to a different timeline wherein quite the same scene was happening as if he was in a genjutsu. It was breathtaking. His heart constricted with longing for the surreal image to become a reality, despite it being far-fetched. 

Years ago, he never imagined that he would have the chance of having a family of his own. And yes, even up to now, the idea was still something that his mind wrestled to accept as something that he deserved.

But then, his eyes met Sakura’s once more. And just like all the other times that he has met her gaze, something inside him changed and made him feel like it's just so easy to drop all his hesitations because of her – for her.

“Sakura...I–”

“Wow! I can’t believe it’s our last day.”

Their heads suddenly whipped towards the bedroom door as their redhead friend exited, followed by her husband who had just finished sealing their baggage in a scroll.

Half irked yet half relieved with the interruption, Sasuke sighed as he handed the baby to her frowning mother. It was a good thing that Sakura didn't realize he was about to tell her something important. 

Maybe later, then.

Suigetsu shrugged. "Some things really come to an end, Karin."

“That’s sadly true,” Sakura joined in the conversation, approaching the Hozuki matriarch to pass on the baby's bib. “But the good thing is that every time a season ends, a new one is about to begin.” She smiled at the woman who has become one of her closest friends. 

It was saddening to see their family leave, but she’s just so excited for them to finally reside in a place they could truly call their home. Besides, they deserved it after everything they've been through individually and as a family.

“It’s time to go.” Everyone turned to the Uchiha who was already standing by the door.

So with a toothy grin, Suigetsu placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders before saying, “Let’s go, Karin. I’m excited for you and Suika to see Hidden Mist.”

The walk towards the gates of Konoha seemed like a trip down memory lane. So when they finally reached that familiar arc that welcomes and sends off Konoha's villagers and visitors, Karin wasn't able to stop herself from handing over Suika to her husband and then throwing her arms as tight as she could around Sasuke.

"Karin. How many times should I tell you to get off me, especially because you're a married woman?"

The redhead chuckled at that, amused with how detached he still was – well, except for a certain pink-haired maiden. "My husband wouldn't mind though!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but found himself glancing at the other woman with them, wondering if she would mind about the situation. However, he only caught her laughing cutely at the ordeal. He couldn't bring himself to scoff.

Pulling away for the Uchiha to be comfortable, Karin sheepishly said, "Thank you so much for everything, Sasuke. I'm so glad that you've found redemption for yourself. No doubt, you'll be able to help more people inside and outside this village. Like us. I will never forget this."

Karin realized that staying in Konoha was the happiest moment of her life so far. And she knew that despite her initial doubts about the idea, everything wouldn’t happen if her husband didn’t force her to join Sasuke in going to this place for her and their baby's safety. Yet she never expected that the decision would be life-changing for all of them.

Suigetsu agreed with a nod. “Sasuke, you've done so much for us. I owe my family’s life to you. I honestly can't thank you enough."

The former leader of Team Taka was stunned at the way his teammates expressed their gratitude to him. He never even thought that there's anything anyone should thank him for. If anything, it was them that he should've thanked for they've shown him a glimpse of what a transformed life and an assured future look like. But as usual, he was not exactly good with words. 

Remembering how they've witnessed the majority of his worst years yet they're still here to stand by him, Sasuke's eyes softened as he gave the couple a simple yet meaningful nod in response.

The pink-haired maiden beside him was smiling the entire time. Sakura didn't know all the details of Sasuke's journey with Taka, but to see him developing such strong bonds even outside of Team 7 was something that she considered a breakthrough. It gave her joy knowing that this scenario was an assurance to Sasuke that he won't ever be alone anymore.

"Before I forget, please bring these pills that would help in keeping you from the cold during your travels," Sakura then handed a small pouch to Karin. "This is helpful especially for Suika since this would be her first exposure to such cold weather."

If Karin was able to stop her tears from falling while talking to Sasuke, she wasn't able to contain it anymore while staring at the pouch given by Sakura. This woman has done so much in bringing out the best in her without her knowing. And so, she also enveloped her in an embrace that's so rare for Karin to give, well, except when it's for her husband and Sasuke.

“Sakura, you’ve saved my life not just once. And then you've shown me the kind of life I never imagined I could still have. Thank you for trusting me and for believing in my potential.” Karin sniffed while Sakura gave her a pat on the back, unable to stop a tear from falling as well. And then the redhead pulled away, instantly wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand with a big smile at her senpai. "I'm not usually like this but—ugh! It's because of the two of you!"

At her loud remark, Sasuke raised an eyebrow while Sakura ended up cackling with a hand on her stomach.

"Whew. At least it's not me this time." Suigetsu snickered too, rocking the baby in his arms that was awakened by the voice of her mother.

Karin almost landed a punch to her husband's liquefiable head, but thanks to Suika's sleepy murmur, she opted to avoid violence to carry the baby again. "Ssh. I'm sorry, kid. Mama's a little different today because of your godmother and godfather." She stuck a tongue out at the two and Sasuke could only snort as Sakura continued to laugh.

"Ha. Sorry, Karin could be crazy at times, or…" The Hozuki patriarch paused and pretended to contemplate. "...actually, most of the time."

"Hey! You're lucky I'm holding your daughter!"

"Kidding, guys. I love that woman nonetheless." 

Sakura and Sasuke didn't fail to see the tinge of maroon on the redhead's cheeks before she turned around to hide it. Uncomfortable with such things, the Uchiha scoffed at the sight of his old teammates. But then, he slightly jerked as something hit his side almost close to his ribs. 

When he shot a sharp glance at the woman beside him, Sakura was just smiling innocently at the Hozuki's. Yet this doctor might need to heal something later, courtesy of her pointed elbow.

Suigetsu noticed the interchange and smirked a little, having high hopes that one day, these two would finally end up like him and his wife. He then grinned. "But really, the two of you have made a difference in our lives. We'll surely remember this and even tell Suika one day. Sasuke, you better visit us in one of Orochimaru's hideouts. And then bring Sakura-san with you."

"As if I'd want to go back there."

Scrunching her nose, Sakura shivered at the prospect of being in the aforementioned place. 

Karin wasn't able to stifle her guffaw as she faced her friends again. "But we don't know, Sasuke, what if you'd eventually need to visit? And that would be nice! I want Suika to meet you both one day!"

"Tch. You'd really want your daughter to grow up in that dumpsite?"

"Oi! You kind of grew up there too!" Suigetsu teased.

Staring blankly, Sasuke fought the urge to burn the couple with his powerful eyes for the sake of their daughter. And then he said, "You better leave now. It's almost dusk."

"Fine then, yes, sir!"

"Take care of your family, Suigetsu."

"Always. And you, take care of Sakura-san!" There was a smirk on Suigetsu's lips as Sasuke remained silent at that. But he knew full well, Sasuke would cross time and dimensions and even give his life just to protect Sakura. This time, his strength would be used not for his own selfish agenda, but for the sake of the people he cared for. Just like what he did for Suigetsu and his family.

"Oh. This is real now, isn't it?"

Sakura reached out and gave Karin's hand a squeeze, looking down on Suika who was now awake after all the commotion with her parents and godparents. A giggle escaped her tiny lips upon seeing Sakura, making Sakura frown a bit as her green eyes met the baby's purple ones. "Yes, it's real now, Karin. But this ain't goodbye. See you soon." She smiled one last time before moving aside, waving a small goodbye as the Hozuki's finally exited the village hidden in the leaves.

Sasuke and Sakura silently remained on their posts as the two figures became smaller from afar.

Until Sakura murmured, "They're such a beautiful family, aren’t they?" Slowly, Sasuke tilted his head to gaze at her. And at that very moment, everything felt right. He took in her beauty as the setting sun made her face glow and the breathing wind made her cherry blossom hair sway in slow motion. It reminded him of those times in his redemption journey that he marvelled at the sight of Cherry Blossom trees because it made him feel like she was beside him, albeit far away.

Now that it became real, he thought of how wonderful it would be to have more peaceful moments like this with her. So as they stood in the place where he first broke her heart, he finally chose to drop all hesitations so he could do what he wanted to accomplish before the day ends, with high hopes that he could also give Sakura a new memory with him in this place. 

"Sakura. Do you...want to have something like that?" The Hozuki's were already out of sight but his first female teammate continued to stare at a distance. "A future family?" She smiled, clutching her hands to her chest as she thought of the only man she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. And then she said in a soft voice, “I've...I've always wanted to." "I want to have that too...with you."

With wide eyes, Sakura turned to Sasuke who was now looking at the path his friends walked on. There was no trace of humor on his face, only an expression that showed solace and expectancy. “S-sas—”

"But Sakura...it is clear as day that you deserve the best. And that’s...that’s not me." Sasuke’s gaze fell to the ground. "I'm not even exactly a good man, so I'm far from being the best for you. There were so many things that I've done that destroyed and hurt so many people, including you and the ones that you care for. So even though I'd...I'd really want a future with you, I don't think you deserve someone whose past is as wicked as mine."

"Sasuke-kun, all those is exactly what you've said – a part of the past. My love for you is not based on what you've done or what you would do. It's simply based on you, Sasuke-kun. Just you. Anything else doesn't matter, as long as...as long as I know that you deeply love me." She paused. "Do you love me?" There was a momentary pause as he looked up at her dazzling eyes. But it wasn’t because he was doubting his answer, for Sasuke has always been sure. 

For a second, he wanted to chuckle at the irony that Sakura Haruno could read words and situations, analyze lab tests and battle strategies, but she couldn’t read and analyze the feelings that Sasuke Uchiha has for her.

It was not her fault that he hadn’t made himself crystal clear yet though. 

So he thought of the best way to vividly convey his answer to her question and firmly address her uncertainties about her standing in his life all this time. 

He then settled in responding through the best and significant way he knows. Smiling a little, he gently tapped her forehead right below the diamond-shaped mark of her strength before saying, "You should know that by now.”

Just like the first time Sasuke did this, Sakura's eyes widened and her lips parted a little as her cheeks became painted with pink. The only difference now was that she stared back at him with recognition, eyes brimming with tears of none other than joy. To know that her love was reciprocated for such a long time already made her feel elated more than ever.

For so many times, she has almost given up in waiting. But it was true all along, being loved back by the man she has always loved was worth the long wait. She regrets nothing for even after everything, it all came down to this. Sasuke looked away as he remembered something. "That time you've been avoiding me because of Karin...it made me realize that I couldn’t stand a life without you." He muttered something like "Never again" and then faced her with his mismatched eyes focusing intently – lovingly – on her green ones. "If you’re willing to make things work together with me...Sakura, marry me." Sakura's tears finally fell upon hearing those last words that she thought she would never hear from this man. She didn't even have to contemplate on what she would answer for she immediately said, "I could never imagine loving and marrying anyone else, Sasuke-kun." 

And then she tapped his forehead in the same way he did with her, making Sasuke's eyes widen and his heart flutter in a way that he never felt before. His lips curved into a smile as he pulled her into a long embrace that surprised even him. But as Sakura melted in his arms as if she had always belonged there, he felt completely relieved that he got the answer he had prayed to receive from her. Maybe this was what Suigetsu had felt when Karin agreed to spend the rest of her life with him as well, he thought.

The satisfied smile on Sakura’s lips after they pulled away made Sasuke’s heart skip a beat. It still felt like he was dreaming, the fact that he was staring at his wife-to-be. “Let’s go home.”

“Yours or mine?”

Sasuke slowly grabbed her hand, after all, he has every right to do so now. “Ours. From now on, you have to be comfortable around the Uchiha compound. I’ll just walk you back to your place tonight.”

As the two of them walked hand in hand back to the village, two pairs of eyes continued to watch them from the nearby trees.

“Heh, Kakashi-sensei, this is a lot better than the last time the three of us were here with Karin, ‘ttebayo!” 

——–

August 2019 | AriannJS

——–

8 chapters. 8 characters. 8 months. It's a wrap! *cries in G#m* This fic is now saying sayonara! But hmm...who knows, I might actually get to finish a one-shot sequel for this. Well, we'll see. ;) Arigatou Gozaimashita, mina-san! I appreciate you all!

- A

[demaury]

boys online. chapter 2. (social media influencers au)

7916. 124. 10. These are the numbers that define Eliott and Lucas’ relationship, either they want it or not. 7916 kilometers between them, from Paris to Vancouver. 124 days since they first said ‘I love you’ last spring. And nearly 10 hours, until… well, until they meet for the first time. (ao3)

MANON CHATON

vu aujourd’hui à 20:34

i'm so in love

fuck what’s happening to me

😂

i get that you found eliott

i was getting a little worried here

it’s been literally five minutes!!!

sure, jan

so that means your flight landed somewhere in poland

because you should have arrived a whiiiiile ago if you were in paris 😏😂

i was taking five minutes to make-out with my bf

i bet you did 👀

is he a good kisser at least?

the best

i'm so whipped

you’re so whipped

but it’s cute

“Missing home already?”

Lucas looks up from his phone and cranes his neck just as Eliott slides in the seat next to him, carefully setting the two Styrofoam cups he just retrieved from the barista on the table. They’re waiting for the cab Lucas ordered after Eliott showed up and Starbucks seemed like the better option they had at the moment — at least once they stopped sharing oxygen and saliva long enough to get behind that idea.

“Not a fucking chance,” he grins as he locks his phone. He leans closer into Eliott’s personal space and the smile his boyfriend gives him back turns the cheekiest comments he can ever come up with into wobbling knees and fluttering stomach. “Thank you,” he says, punctuating it with a peck on Eliott’s lips.

He proceeds to grab his part of their order while Eliott settles more comfortably next to him — and, Lucas notices, even closer. “I received the text from the company, they said our car should be waiting for us at 9,” Eliott says, checking the text as he speaks. “We should probably get ready to take the commute soon I guess.”

“Guess so, yeah.” Lucas stretches his arms high above his head and scrunches up his face. “I’m beat, the flight was so long.”

It’s been two years since he last came to France, and damn has he forgotten how boring spending nearly ten hours in a plane was. After his parents’ divorce he had only come back a handful of times, generally to spend a few days in Nice with his paternal grandmother when his dad was in the mood to bother forcing him to do stuff, so it wasn’t like he was really used to making 8h+ flights abroad. Mostly he knows he should be thankful because there’s been no assholery behavior and no crying baby or tantrum-y kid.

“Can’t wait to see these eyes without the bags underneath,” Eliott teases, pocking to his cheek playfully.

Lucas bats his hand away just for the sake of it, but it’s not harsh and Eliott knows him too well to even question. “Well, sorry for you, but the bags are rooming with me,” he huffs. “I tried to stay awake last night to sleep during the flight. Worked tremendously, as you can see.”

“They are nice bags,” Eliott decides, shrugging slightly. “I could get used to it, they make your eyes pop in the end.”

Lucas tilts his head to the side, cocking an eyebrow. “You didn’t sound so sappy over FaceTime, I feel lied to,” he says, playing with his cup nonchalantly. “Now I wonder what else is different.”

Eliott seems to ponder his answer, and Lucas stares, obvious and unapologetic. It’s not a big reveal that his boyfriend is even more beautiful in person than he already is in pictures, and it still amazes him even after all this time and an entire day spent obsessing over it that one day they met as friends, last April. Eliott had a family member getting married somewhere near Calgary and it was just too good of an opportunity to miss it. Right after the wedding Eliott had hopped in a plane for Vancouver and they had spent the day hanging out and touring around Vancouver. Well, Eliott had toured around Vancouver. Lucas, for his part, had mostly followed and occasionally taken his eyes away from Eliott long enough to gesture at some place.

“You’re right,” Eliott says, sounding awfully serious. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that might affect our relationship, but I need to get it off my chest so that you can be prepared.”

Lucas isn’t sure where he’s going with it, but Eliott shifts on his chair to face him without looking like he’s waiting for an answer. His grey eyes meet Lucas’, deep and serious, and it takes Lucas most of his willpower to keep his mind on tracks, when all he wants to do is reach out and touch that perfect jawline of Eliott’s.

“I’ll be the sappiest of the saps,” Eliott declares, ignoring when Lucas bursts out laughing. “I have my boyfriend in town for two small weeks, so you better be ready for all the cheesiness in the world because I fully intend to make the most of it,” he concludes.

Lucas shifts too, facing him. “So that’s not our first date?”, he asks, faking surprise.

“In a Starbucks coffee?” Eliott scoffs. “Please, I have standards. I was just desperately trying to give you a caffeine boost to keep you up on your two feet.”

Lucas cocks an eyebrow. “The cheesiest boyfriend in the world wouldn’t mind picking his boyfriend up, just saying.”

“You want me to do that?”, Eliott deadpans, cocking an eyebrow too.

“Jesus, no,” Lucas huffs a laugh, shaking his head, and Eliott joins him.

He doesn’t really know why he freaked out some 24h ago, when everything seems as simple as it should be. They’re easily navigating between banter and cutesy declarations, and it’s something Lucas always dreamed of finding in a boyfriend. Eliott reaches out, his fingers threading through Lucas’ hair.

“We should get going,” he says, pressing a soft kiss on Lucas’ lips. “Last thing I want is so miss our commute and end up dragging my sleepy boyfriend all the way out.”

Lucas snorts, taking a sip from his coffee. “I’m not a child, I’ll let you know. I can stay awake one more hour.”

*

Lucas doesn’t stay awake one more hour.

Which is totally fine, if you ask Eliott. They’ve been in the car for roughly fifteen minutes when Lucas’ head falls on his shoulder, pretty eyes closed and his grip loosening ever so slightly around Eliott’s fingers.

“Jetlag doesn’t forgive,” the taxi driver says, sententious, as he peeks in the rear-view mirror halfway through a story involving electric bikes. “Where are you guys coming from?”

“He lives in Canada,” Eliott replies, and it’s still a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that this reality, them together in the same town, isn’t one that is meant to last. “I live in the 11e though.”

His attention drifts away as the driver manages to find another topic of conversation involving Eliott’s area of Paris, focusing instead on the soft patterns he traces with his fingers on the inside of Lucas’ wrist. At this point, the only thing keeping Eliott from reaching for his phone to snap a selfie of them both is that he doesn’t have the heart to take either of his hands away from a sleepy Lucas. Hear him out, he can tear his eyes away from him, it’s just that he gets to hear Lucas laugh and smile and angrily venting when things don’t go the way he wants them to go, but sleep is something he’s never been able to witness. And, like, Eliott is completely, utterly in love with Lucas but he knows by now that he can be a real pain in the ass when he wants to be — so seeing him soft and cute like that, he’s not ready to pass on it just yet.

The road from the airport isn’t all that long, given the general state of the Parisian traffic, and when they get to rue Dangeau, where Lucas’ hotel is situated, it’s been around forty minutes since they left Roissy-Charles-de-Gaulle. The sleeping arrangement got him thinking, when they were planning Lucas’ trip to France, because they had been together for less than three months, and the last thing he wanted was for Lucas to feel pressured about anything. Granted, it had taken him less time to lose his virginity to Lucille when they were younger, but it doesn’t mean it’s a race either. His boyfriend was still 17 back then, and Eliott distinctly remembers worrying a whole night about all the things he could possibly say that could send the wrong message whatsoever. The good side is that ever since he managed to man the fuck up and confess his feelings to Lucas, things have been (mostly) easy to navigate between them and Lucas has (mostly) been on the same page — he said he didn’t want to rush things either, but simply because they deserved to make things ‘the right way’, which is still a fair point, albeit a bit different. In the end they have both agreed to the hotel thing, and the more thoughts Eliott puts into it, the more natural it felt.

He releases Lucas’ hand as the car parks just across the street on a delivery spot, and it gets him to stir and mumble. “Note to self,” he groans as Eliott unbuckles his seatbelt, rubbing his eyes from his hand, “coffee doesn’t hold a candle to a nine-hour jetlag.”

“Will you manage to walk inside or do I have to pick you up?”, Eliott enquires, barely biting back a smirk.

Lucas squints his eyes. “Look at you making fun of me.” He pouts, and he unbuckles his seatbelt before sliding out through the door he chucked open. “I’ll manage, since you’re so nice to ask.”

Eliott snorts and hops off through his own door while Lucas retrieves his luggage from the driver. The man greets them warmly before getting back in and driving away. The hotel Lucas picked isn’t particularly fancy, it’s actually one of those hotels you’d walk by without really noticing. Despite being three floors high, it’s squeezed between a flower shop and a restaurant selling kebabs, in a narrow one-way street, but Eliott is almost surprised by how comfy it feels as soon as they push past the door of the lobby. Lucas goes to retrieve the key to his hotel room, and he allows himself a moment to check his phone in the meantime, but there’s nothing there that requires his undivided attention like his boyfriend does. A couple of notifications and texts from his friends that he puts on hold for the time being, when Lucas makes sign for him to join as he’s climbing upstairs.

“Home sweet home,” Lucas sighs, dropping himself flat on the bed as soon as they get in.

“It’s a nice hotel,” Eliott observes thoughtfully, closing the door behind him. “And at least you aren’t far from my place.”

Lucas props himself back up on his elbows. “It’s still too far,” he complains.

Eliott snorts and shakes his head. “It’s really not. And you’re literally on automatic pilot now, you need to sleep.”

“I know that.” Lucas pauses. “I just- I don’t know, I just want you to stay. Here. With me.”

“But we agreed that we would take it slow,” Eliott says, frowning a little.

“Of course, yes,” Lucas replies quickly, and Eliott isn’t sure but he thinks Lucas might be blushing. “But I want cuddles.” And he goes on, raising his arms and making grabby hands in his direction.

Eliott takes in Lucas’ tired eyes, his pouty lips, his messy hair and his grabby hands, and it’s not even that he feels himself cave in, because he had already stopped fighting himself the moment Lucas first asked, but there’s literally not a single good reason for him to leave this hotel room now. The first thing he does, before answering even, is kicking off his shoes, then he looks back up and Lucas’ grin is worth everything in the world.

“Let’s cuddle then,” Eliott says.

As soon as he plops down next to him, Lucas immediately drags him in a laying position and worms his way between his arms.

*

Having a sleeping boyfriend in bed he’s trying not to wake up is something Lucas isn’t quite used to, in complete honesty. Jake was his first relationship after he came out, and it hadn’t lasted three full months, so it’s not like he really managed to make his marks as a not-single guy. Point is, disentangling himself from Eliott’s arms has been surprisingly stressful, and he hates his bladder for forcing him out of his living safety blanket, but he hates his brain even more for making him stare pointlessly at an invisible spot for about an hour before that.

Jetlag is a fucking bitch, he thinks grumpily as he closes the lid and flushes the toilet, motioning to the sink to wash his hands. There’s a mirror hanging off the wall above the basin, and the glance he spares it isn’t really helpful. He literally has red circles on top of the black ones now, and it makes a weird Halloween-ish look with his blue eyes — which he’s positive isn’t attractive in any part of the world.

He retrieves his phone from the nightstand on his side of the bed, eyes squinting when he unlocks it, after padding as quietly as possible out of the bathroom and trying desperately to remember how the furniture is displayed so that he doesn’t end up splitting his knee open in the frame of the bed on his way.

“Lucas?”

Eliott’s sleepy voice makes Lucas startle stupidly and he smiles sheepishly in the ray of light emanating from his phone. “Yeah, I’m here.”

There’s a pause and Eliott motions some more in the bed, rubbing his eye from the heel of his hand. He’s wearing his tee-shirt from yesterday and his black briefs are peeking out from where the comforter is thrown back. “Is it morning already?”

“Nah, I just went to the bathroom. Sorry for waking you up.”

Eliott frowns and nods. “Oh. Right. Aren’t you coming back?”

“I can’t sleep,” Lucas admits. “I’ll probably just toss and turn.”

Eliott props himself up on an elbow. “It’s fine. Come here,” he says, voice still a bit rough from sleep and hair a little messier than usual. “We can watch a movie or something.”

Lucas huffs a chuckle. “Eliott, it’s 2.30 in the morning, go back to sleep.”

“So what, I don’t get to have cuddles at 2.30?”

Lucas stares, taken aback. “Fuck, of course you do,” he says, practically throwing his phone on the nightstand as he hops in the bed, and just like that the room is pitch-black all over again. “Let’s keep the movie for another time though.”

They don’t quite cuddle, not like they were before Lucas got up, and not like they were when they first fell asleep. They’re merely facing each other, Eliott’s arm snaking its way around his waist, gentle and light as they pull him just a tiny bit closer.

“It’s fine,” he says, tracing circles on Lucas’ side. “We can just talk.”                

Lucas slides an arm under his head, looking in the direction of Eliott’s voice, almost as if he could make out his features in the night, were he trying hard enough. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” his boyfriend whispers, and Lucas feels him shrugging slightly. “What’s the first thing you could think about asking me?”

Lucas ponders the question. Objectively there’s still a whole bunch of things he would want to know about Eliott, simply because he wants to know everything there’s to know, but there’s something intimate and unique about being with him like this, his attention undivided. They have nowhere else to be, no one else to bother them, not a single kilometer between them. It’s just them, in this moment, and he feels emboldened enough to ask: “When did you know you had feelings for me?”

There’s a silence, and Eliott’s fingers stop their gentle dance on his side. “It doesn’t really depict me IN a good light,” Eliott admits.

“C’mon on, tell me,” Lucas says, wriggling a tad closer. “I know it was when you were still with Lucille, you told me that already.”

“Alright,” Eliott says. “The exact moment, uh?” Lucas nods, even if Eliott can’t see it. “I was having sex with Lucille.” Another silence. “I thought about you to finish.”

Oh. Well, he can’t say he’s feeling bad, which he’s simultaneously certain is the opposite of the reaction he should be having. Probably because his boyfriend did not mentally cheat on him while they were having sex.

“I told you, it doesn’t really make me the perfect boyfriend after that,” Eliott mumbles.

Lucas shakes his head, mostly for himself, and he reaches out to run his hand up Eliott’s arm. “Actually, I think you’re doing really great so far.”

“So far, uh?” Eliott muses.

“Yes. So far. Your turn.”

Eliott takes a second to think. “Why did you date Jake if you weren’t all that interested in him?”

“It doesn’t really make me a Saint either.”

The fingers are back to grazing his side through the material of his shirt. “I think I’ll handle it. I think I already know, in fact.”

Lucas drops his gaze, uselessly, he knows, but it’s a reflex he can’t help. “I was in love with you,” he admits. “You had gotten back with Lucille. It was, like, the third time it was happening in the short time we had known each other, I just thought there’d never be a place for me in your life.”

It feels strangely liberating to get it off his chest. It’s not the biggest secret of his life, and it’s not his most bitter moment either. But going back to these few months, where Eliott had managed to occupy so much space in his life all the while being still so out of reach, it still makes his heart clench a little on instinct — like the vague memory of a physical pain.

“The tables turned,” Eliott says and Lucas smiles.

“Kind of, yeah.”

Eliott pulls himself closer, and Lucas shifts a little, welcoming his boyfriend’s frame in his arms as Eliott nestles his face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so happy to have you with me,” he whispers.

*

[kayteewritessteve]

Don't worry a bit about taking some time for your self and your health. All we want is for you to be healthy and happy. And we will be here when you're ready to jump back in to writing 😘😘😘

Oh gosh, thank you for saying this, love! I honestly worry so much about taking breaks, but I also know they are truly needed sometimes. So it’s definitely reassuring to hear this from the people around me on this site. Especially the ones I interact with often, such as yourself. I am honestly so dang lucky to have such amazing followers and friends on this site, you have all been so supportive and kind to me during my time on this blog, and I can never thank you few, who have been there every step of the way, enough.

I really did need to hear this today, I know this came in a whiiiiile ago. But I’ve been sort of distancing myself from this blog for a while. I just haven’t been on the most talkative mood lately, what with everything going on, and I hate that I can’t disconnect from my personal live and be more chatty on here. But I’m just focusing on getting my life in order and taking the steps I have to in order to get back on my feet and on track. And sadly that involves not being a present on this site as I notmally am. But I’m still around. I still see and read everyones comments, asks and messages, it just sometimes takes me a little while to find the words to reply. But I always will, that I promise!

Anywho, I’m rambling, like always. So I’ll just leave this off by saying, thann you again for your kind words, lovely! And for helping to put my mind a little more at ease about this all! ❤️❤️❤️

- Kaytee.