#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

[yumerinns]

thought of the day!!! (took me a week to write)

i feel like yoichi isagi would want someone who can match his 'slursagi' energy.

we all know off the field, he's this nice, sweet and rather introverted individual who is a complete 180° from when he's playing.

then, there's you, who is also a complete sweetheart. you, who with a single compliment can reduce yoichi to a flustered mess, his mind blaring your sweet voice and words for the entire day. you, who adjusts the blanket to cover his body more while he's dozing off rewatching his previous game footage (he's wide awake again). you, who happily gives him the sweetest kisses throughout the day.

at the beginning of your relationship, you had never seen yoichi on the field, nor had you seen his personality. you assumed he was the same warm hearted partner you knew, until one day he sends you some tickets for seats to watch his upcoming football match. you eagerly agreed, as, like said, you'd never seen him play before, and this was his big dream you were supporting.

of course, he would want nothing but the best for his sweet girlfriend, so he booked the seats closest to the field, so you could focus on him the whole time, but he also made sure you wouldn't be disturbed by getting his parents to sit next to you.

the first half is great. yoichi is scoring goals like he lives off it (technically he does), and the crowd is cheering for his team, and so were you. cheering his name quietly as you took a whole lot of photos of him, one with him wiping his sweat like the man he is with his shirt (holy crap!) and the rest of him being himself on the field.

his team wins the half 2-1. the crowd goes absolutely wild, their roaring filling the entire stadium. after the break, however, somewhere in the second half, his teammates start slacking a little: failing to deliver passes that were up to standard, missing to realise simple mistakes that affected the flow of the game, and you could tell yoichi's mood was not good.

and after one of his teammates miss a free shot completely, he loses it.

"oi, are you fucking kidding me? that was the easiest shot in the whole game! even a three year old can play better than your hellhole of a play style!" he shouts.

your eyes instantly widen, your mind blanking out, merely focused on him.

woah.

what.

what!?

and yoichi doesn't stop there. he keeps yelling at the poor guy with five slurs in one sentence and at least every insult in the dictionary. he has to be shaken by his shoulders by another teammate to snap him out of his crash out, but even then the tension doesn't seem to snap.

almost as if he can feel you practically burning holes into the back of his shirt, yoichi whips his head around, and when he notices you were staring, his face flushes the darkest red you've ever seen.

"well that was embarrassing," yoichi mutters, his head buried in his hands as you bring it up.

you're genuinely puzzled why he thinks it's embarrassing because you've never said something more honest than he was so hot like that. like jaw dropping, gut stirring, lip biting, absolutely, diabolically hot.

"i think it was hot." you grin, siting down next to his sweaty body, hooking an arm around his arm and tugging gently on it.

he peeks at you through his bangs that are covering his eyes slightly. "really?"

"of course," you rub circles on his bicep with your thumb, slow and lazily. "i just discovered a new side of you i never knew."

"oh, hey, you should do that more. what did you say? 'midget who missed as many goals as many times as he should he's fucked-"

"okay, that's enough!"

you brush it to the back of your mind, only bringing it up teasingly when he thinks he's got salt on you.

♡✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

it's a busy day at your office, and with the fact you were already running late, you had no time to eat anything.

that includes bringing anything to eat.

by 1pm, you feel like you are mere seconds away from starving to death, so you do the most logical thing you know: calling yoichi.

it is his off day, and while he had constantly asked if you were interested in taking a leave to spend this sacred day with him, you had to decline due to the lack of leaves you had left.

you punch in his contact number and place your phone next to your ear. one ring is all it took for him to pick up.

you ask yoichi if he can bring you something to eat for lunch. he hasn't even said anything, but you can immediately hear sheets rustling and the sound of keys clinking against each other. "i'll be there in 5," he says.

you smile (even though he can't see it) and hang up. not even one second after placing down your phone does this young girl who's wearing a short pencil skirt and a navy blue blouse run up to you, invading every single area of privacy possible.

"were you talking to your boyfriend?" she asks, her voice way too excited. she doesn't even give you a chance to speak before her face is in yours again. "he's so hot, like i was watching his match yesterday, and god, did you see how he had this fierce yet cool aura around him?"

you're kinda weirded out.

"you're so lucky to date him. i mean, if you weren't, i gladly would!"

fuck that.

you were completely weirded out.

you simply laugh awkwardly, hoping your body language is enough to send a signal over to that mush brain of hers.

and... apparently not!

she starts asking you for weird favors and says things that seem to be back handed compliments about you and yoichi's relationship. like how she wished she could date him, how fine he was, shit like that.

it's not the most unusual thing for you due to the amount of fangirls he has. but you're seriously hungry, and not in the mood for this girl's nonsense.

you're still sat there, a smile that's not quite real playing on your lips. your hands rest on your lap, fidgeting with your fingers uncomfortably and every second that passes feels like hours.

you try to be patient. you really do try.

but some things, or rather, people, just can't read a social situation sometimes.

"why don't you give him to me for day, huh?"

oh, what.

"why don't you just shut the fuck up?" you retort. your sudden outburst makes the coworker sitting next to you raise an intrigued eyebrow, but it's really to be expected.

"you said 'boyfriend'. my boyfriend. so can you just stop talking about him like i don't even exist?"

she gasps dramatically, trying to play that stupid victim party.

"it's not that big of a deal! or are you just insecure?" she adds on. she knows what she's doing, and it's irritating!

you get up from your seat, eyebrows furrowed and a mocking smile like never before.

"i'm insecure? have you even looked at yourself? oh wait, i bet you can't! don't mirrors break when they see you? with such a pigmented lipstick and uneven eyeshadow, that look is not it. you try to make it seem natural, but the only thing that's natural about you is your ass. unless you wanna get a lift on that too?"

you hear a gasp somewhere behind you, beating it to her. you turn around on instinct, and you see yoichi standing there with a paper bag in hand, pupils blown wide and mouth agape.

you feel your stomach drop into an abyss.

you shoot her one last glare, and immediately run off to yoichi, pulling him somewhere more secluded, like the pantry.

"you did not just see that." you say for the hundredth time, trying to trick his mind into thinking that, but it's obvious it's not working.

"that was just... holy shit-," yoichi laughs in amazement, fueling your already reddening cheeks. "i've never seen that before. i never even thought you could do that." he grabs your hands together, squeezing them tightly.

"i'd willingly let you berate me like that. no joke. coolest thing i've ever seen in my life, and this is a huge thing considering i'm going to marry you and be stuck with you for the rest of my life."

how the fuck is he so good with words? despite being a menace himself...

[stawbeemilk]

⤷ their love language – hq

✩ characters: various

✩ warnings: none

✩ a/n: i finally managed to get the motivation to actually sit down and write something, thank you for being so patient with me!!

⭑ physical touch

he's definitely a little touch starved, regardless of how much he might try to deny it. it was definitely a bit of a shock when you first started dating and you saw a completely new side to him, discovering just how clingy he could be and how much he loves to be close to you. there's nothing that makes his heart flutter more than feeling the warmth of your body against his own, and he finds himself unable to stop from initiating physical contact at every chance he gets. he appreciates the little things such as linking pinkies or having his hand on your lower back when the two of you are in a crowd, but he especially loves cuddling with you after a long day while you play with his hair, and when you randomly hug him from behind he literally melts.

⤷ bokuto, hanamaki, nishinoya, konoha, goshiki, atsumu, yahaba

⭑ words of affirmation

he's always encouraging you, not only with actual words but also through smaller gestures, such as leaving you little notes on the fridge for you to read before you leave for work or by sending you sweet messages throughout the day. he loves to tell you how proud he is of you, congratulating you for all of your achievements, regardless of how small or unimportant you might think they are. if you're ever feeling insecure about yourself he will reassure you as if his life depends on it, complimenting you and reminding you that he thinks you're perfect— but at the same time he also likes to hear encouraging words from you, especially at times when he tends to doubt himself and needs nothing more than to hear that he's enough.

⤷ akaashi, yaku, oikawa, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tanaka

⭑ quality time

he's not always the best with words, and so he prefers to show you he cares by spending time with you. sometimes it's a case of not doing anything in particular, and instead just being in the same room as you and enjoying your company. he really appriciates the fact that the two of you feel comfortable enough to simply be in a room with each other, not feeling the need to try and fill the silence with small talk and finding the lack of conversation to be comforting rather than awkward. he also enjoys doing chores with you such as getting groceries together or cleaning the house, things which others might find mundane, but he likes doing them purely because it means he gets to spend time with you.

⤷ kenma, tsukishima, kyotani, ushijima, kunimi, sakusa, kageyama

⭑ gift giving

he shows his appreciation for you by giving you things, whether that's something he knows you've been wanting for a long time or just an item he's seen when he was out shopping that immediately made him think of you. he's very observant of the things you like and dislike, and when the two of you go out together and you subconsciously start eyeing a particular item in a store he'll definitely notice, making a mental note of it so that he can buy it for you later as a surprise. he's also quite sentimental and will keep absolutely everything you give to him, from birthday cards to polaroids to the matching bracelets you made when you first started dating— no matter how insignificant you think it might be, he keeps it.

⤷ kuroo, hinata, sugawara, matsukawa, semi, yamamoto, suna

⭑ acts of service

he loves doing favours for you, especially when he knows you've been feeling stressed or overwhelmed, and when you're sick and need someone to look after you he'll always be there for you no matter what. he's the type to make sure that you're taking care of yourself and will frequently ask you if you've eaten— if you say you haven't he will insist on making you food or ordering you takeout, telling you that you shouldn't go without a proper meal. while he loves taking care of you, he feels so warm inside when you do the same for him, and having you there to support him when you know he needs it the most will never fail to make him feel loved.

⤷ daichi, kai, fukunaga, iwaizumi, kita, osamu, hirugami

⤷ please do not repost my works on any other sites!

[mirohlayo]

LANDO AS YOUR BOYFRIEND

note : been away for a while but i'm back guys !! (i needed a little break from writing). I also change a bit my posts' style/aesthetic !! anyways, so happy to be back again and can't wait to give you all new writings 🧡

he's hopelessly in love with you. of course this boy is so head over heels for you. his heart only wants you and you can be sure you're all safe in it because there's is no other person in his mind. he thinks about you all the time, rambles about you to everyone, always smiles when he sees you. he definitely looks at you with heart-eyes and he's never afraid to make it obvious he's so into you. he makes sure he tells you everyday how much he loves you, and how life would mean nothing without you. this boy is so obsessed with you that sometimes he refuses to let you go, even for a minute. he just wants to show his love for you, and that in every way possible.

he always sends good morning/night texts. when he's not home, he always sends you cute texts in the morning. he asks if you slept well, what's your plans for the day and of course lots of red hearts and a "love u baby". it's a way to keep an eye on you and care about you even though he's not here. and also the big and bright smile he wears when he sees your message. he sometimes asks for a pic of you, because he wants to start the day with the pretty face of his girl in his mind. and of course he also sends you good night texts. he asks about your day before leaving you with some cheesy lines he texted you. he knows you'll laugh when you'll read them and just thinking about that makes him smile like an idiot who is totally in love.

he loves matching outfits. this man can pull out either amazing outfits or so random outfits. but he for sure dresses well when his outfit matches yours. he loves when you ask him to match your clothes because it shows everyone you guys are a thing. that you two belongs to each other. and he also admires your sense of style. he thinks everything suits you, and you look great in literally anything. he's always so happy to help you choose your outfit for the day. but not more than when you're wearing the same thing. so when you two are dressed up, he'd take a picture and then post it on his story, just to show the world he got the best stylist and of course the best girlfriend.

he's so devoted to you. so sooo dedicated to you. this boy is already hopelessly in love with you but the way he's devoted to you is insane. he never ever thinks or thought about any girl before. always you. it's just you in his mind and heart. he's so loyal to you and you know it because he doesn't wait a second to refuses girl's advances and tell them he already got the girl of his dreams. he's so happy with you, he feels so good with you. you even became his home. his safe person. he's so loving that he swears everyday he'll love you better than the day before. you're the only one he loves, wants and needs. that's why he constantly wants to be with you, near you. he would do literally anything for you. because it's you.

he sends you gifts when he's away. like good morning texts, one of his way to show you his love and affection is to send you gifts when he's not home. it can be very expensive or handmade gifts (tho i'm not sure about this talent), also big flowers bouquets. it depends, but you always receive gifts from him. sometimes it's twice a week. he likes to spoil you even though you say to him he doesn't need to do that. but it makes him happy to send you those things and he'll never stops doing that. it's one of his favorite things. and of course he leaves a note on them, like cute stuff with hearts everywhere or even pictures of his face.

he makes you his first priority. you're so important to him. really important. you're his favorite person in the whole world, you're his world. as i said before he'd do anything for you and that's why he prioritizes you. throughout your relationship he placed you as his first priority in life and now he can't help but always choose you no matter what. of course you say to him that it can be sometimes toxic, that it's not really healthy to give up everything just for you and he knows it. of course he tries to balance between you and other things. but still you remains as his first priority because he doesn't want to lose you. he doesn't want to leave you because he feels so so good with you. so be ready to always be his first choice.

he writes down every little things about you. this one's cute. when he was crushing hard on you he remembered every single detail about you and what you like. and he still does it now that you're together. he writes down on a paper every things you mention. things you like, favorite musics, places you want to travel to. literally everything and anything. it's his job to know you and your preferences. because then he can gives you what you want, he can ever be a better boyfriend. he also melts when he sees your face light when he'd mention about your things. it's adorable the way you look so surprised and genuinely happy to know he remembers these things. you're so interesting to him, he could listen to you every all day long without getting bored.

he's such a needy and clingy boyfriend. oh this one. this papaya boy is so clingy. and so needy. people think you're the clingy one in the relationship but that's bullshit. lando is literally a boyfriend who constantly needs his girlfriend's attention. every single minutes. seconds even. if you don't give him some cuddles or kisses he's already pouting. he grabs your waist from nowhere and the second later you're stuck under his body, his arms tightly around you. and his head in the crook of your neck while he soothes down in the scent of your fragrance. he's so needy, he always and always asks for more cuddles, more kisses, more hugs. he barely can let you go for a second, he needs to touch you and feels you. it comforts him so much. and you don't complain because either you can't get enough of his affection.

he can get jealous over little things. lando can get easily jealous sometimes. it's not really toxic or unhealthy, it's actually kinda cute. when he gets jealous it's more likely to joke, even though there's still some serious jealousy of course. but it's just for fun. like if he sees you too close to a man, or laughing to much with an other driver, he's more likely to get jealous and then pout until you give him all your attention. he can't help him, he wants you all for himself. you're his girl and you belongs to him just as he belongs to you. he also doesn't like when men look at you longingly, because he knows you're such a perfect girl that a lot of people want. it's one of the reason he'll always keep chasing after you. but other than that, his jealousy is just cute itself. just a poor boy who wants his girl.

he can't say no to you. you mean everything to him so obviously he can not say no to you. when you ask him something he already knows his answer will be yes and nothing else. especially when you have puppy eyes, it's impossible to not say yes to you. you're just too adorable like that. he feels bad every times he says no and that's why he refuses to say it again. because after all you have the privilege of being the only person who make him so soft. when i say he's ready to accept anything for you it's just the pure truth. you're the prettiest to his eyes, the perfect girl, the most precious person ever in his life, mind, and heart.

[fumiscripts]

🃁 OPENING MATCH

fic masterlist . prev chapter . next chapter

Throughout the few days you've spent in the facility, you've grown to notice how your team's capabilities were… pretty low. You gave them allowance, as this is supposedly just one of the worst teams in this program, being V. Though, damn, they were not meeting your expectations— but maybe that's because you had high standards…? You expected better, since these were supposedly the best 300. You're disappointed, to say the least, because these players are just barely better than your teammates from your highschool club.

At least Shidou was there to keep you entertained. He might just be the only other notable person in the room aside from yourself. He was even thrilled to find out that he has to work harder to keep up with you. How pleasant to know that he doesn't plan on relying on you, and that he can carry his own weight.

It's been three days since Blue Lock started, and you have to say, you might be slowly going insane without a peep from the outside world. You wanted your phone back— and you needed 3 goals for that— but how are you supposed to get 3 goals if there hasn't been any matches just yet? How annoying. While everyone else was using this time to prepare, feeling the need to improve quickly due to being a team at the bottom of the barrel, you just felt utterly bored.

How could you not? You were easily surpassing everyone's stats during training, without even giving it your all. It's too easy. How are you not on a better team? Once again, you question Ego's choices.

“Damn, you're still runnin’?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, eyes flickering from the digital screen on the treadmill to Shidou, who had long finished up training for the day. A towel hung on his shoulders, probably having just hit the showers. He had his usual shit-eating grin on his face, staring at you while you just kept going, keeping the pace up while seemingly being on autopilot.

Shidou leaned towards the handrail, watching as you finally slowed the machine. You were cooling down before you actually stepped off, giving your body time to adjust. “Went that fast for half an hour?” he mused, pink eyes on the displayed numbers. “That's some insane stamina,” he commented, in a slight tone that hinted towards somewhere suggestive. You've gotten used to how he is— matching his freakuency, even.

“I know,” you reply, before walking off the treadmill.

“Ahem.”

You recognize Ego’s voice through the intercom. Immediately locking in, Shidou straightened up a little, tilting his head.

“We have finished compiling the test results from the last three days. So hurry back to your rooms and have a look at your new rankings.”

“Ooh, look, you still got the highest rank.”

You turn down to the number on your left shoulder at Shidou’s remark, a bold number 221 displayed. You did some mental calculations, frowning as it clicked into your mind. “Still the same thing from before. A bunch of players from different teams surely got eliminated during the tag game, right? They just subtracted those, nothing more.”

 Shidou sneered, assessing his own number. “Oh well. Looks like I still gotta beat ya.”

 “Hello, and nicely done, all of you unpolished gems. Are you enjoying your lives here at Blue Lock?”

Ego's image flickered on the screen, doing his rather weird wave.

“Let's talk about Blue Lock, now.”

— and he's back to rambling.

Something about how the teams are divided into different buildings— that part, you figured out— he says the ones on top have way better conditions than the teams below them. He also informed about the matches, a round robin. And your team’s first opponent is Y. Wins are three points, draws are one point, and a loss has none. The one with the most accumulated points stands at the top.

Only the top two teams will advance, as well as the top player from the losing three. You didn’t have to worry about that, knowing you’ll win. Your group is guaranteed victory with you in their ranks.

“Fix your knowledge of football from scratch.”

Another speech. One you’ve heard from him before.

Resetting all you knew about soccer.

A few hours after, you found yourself tying the laces of your cleats, sporting a black jersey over the blue lock suit. The first match was about to begin, and you were more than prepared for it. The people in Blue Lock weren't a match for you.

Your team had briefed through a strategy plan, and with you being the top ranker, naturally, you'll lead as striker— while everyone else had to situate themselves to unfamiliar positions. Not like you couldn't score goals as any other position, though. You think this would be the equivalent of a professional playing with children. Your allies should consider themselves lucky that you were on the same side of the field as them.

Footsteps against the cement, you start stretching your arms, not wanting to deal with cramps later on. The metallic doors opened with a hiss, bright lights shining down upon the indoor field. Your shoes dug into the artificial grass, the fake, green blades stretching on, closed in by gray walls.

The entrance opposite from the one you walked through opened, and in came the opposing group. All the players on the other side looked less experienced than you, no surprise there. No one standed out, either. This would be an easy win.

Too boring.

Sorry for edging y'all I don't like writing soccer matches

taglist: @atlas-atlantic, @shidousprincess, @lakeside-paradise, @shrii-kk, @neversam, @motchilyn, @tired-xyra-urstruly, @sabrina-senpai, @justanotherweeb666, @kaikaidenkai, @beepbopzlorp

© fumiscripts 2025. don't steal, repost, translate or modify my works without my permission.

[outsideratheart]

plsss something for Meet Me At Henman Hill, where reader come back home to Leah after winning the Australian Open

Dreams do come true (Leah Williamson x reader)

The adrenaline from winning the Australian open was the only thing keeping you from succumbing to exhaustion.

The final itself has been one of the most physical matches you had played but going up against Aryna, you expected nothing less. It was one of your favourite matches but the heat and strength you used to play caused you to have very little left in the tank by the time your flight lands at London Heathrow.

You could have gone home to change and rest a little but you wanted to soak in the pre match atmosphere at The Emirates.

The streets were packed, the fans were singing and you could have sworn you heard someone playing a french horn.

Inside the stadium your eyes fell to Leah who was on the pitch warming up. From the box you knew she couldn’t see you but it didn’t stop you from waving when she looked your way.

“She’s finally getting her turn” Alex joined you outside.

“Al, I’m so proud of her”

Leah’s determination throughout her recovery had truly been inspiring. She worked hard and never gave up, oh and she learnt how to play the piano in her spare time. She amazed you day in and day out.

“She’s proud of you too you know. We watched the match together. Congratulations by the way”

Leah had only been able to see you play live twice. The first time was Wimbledon then in the summer she came to New York to support you in the US open. Her support was unwavering and today you hoped to show the same level of support. Whilst it wasn’t your first Arsenal game, it was the first time you’d be seeing Leah play live.

You cheered loudly and joined in with the fan chants for the entire game.

“She’s one of our own. She’s one of our own. Leah Williamson, she’s one of our own” you sang proudly.

When the game was over Alex asked a member of security to lead you down to the tunnel where you waited for your girlfriend to come off the pitch. You weren’t exactly wearing a disguise, only a white cap, but you hoped you would go unnoticed as players walked past you. A few of them congratulated you and you thanked them politely all whilst keeping you eyes on the entrance.

Beth tells you that Leah is doing some media and that you can wait in the locker room for her. She points out Leah’s locker and you take a seat. You noticed a small Polaroid stuck to the side, it was one that her mum took of the two you at Christmas. You removed it from the locker and took a photo of it on your phone.

You felt her presence without looking up.

“Hi my love” you picked her up and spun her around “You just played a sold out Emirates stadium”

When you put her down you noticed her eyes were glassed over.

Leah wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she just lived her dream or the fact that she hadn’t seen you in almost two months but she was truly happy in that moment.

“It’s my dream” that was all Leah could say.

She grew up watching the men’s team sell out the emirates and for a long time it seemed the undreamable dream for her but here she is.

“Let me get a quick shower and we can go home”

“I’m not going anywhere. Not for the next two weeks” you pull her in for a short but deep kiss before sitting back down in her locker.

When you’re back at Leah’s you start preparing dinner whilst she gets changed. When you enter the living room you see her taking selfies with your trophy, even kissing it.

“Hey! Save some for me!”

Leah hadn’t heard you come up and jumps upon hearing your voice. Her cheeks flush in embarrassment of being caught fan girling over the Daphne Akhurst Memorial Cup.

“This thing is huge. Where are you going to put it?” Leah asked as she placed it down gently on her coffee table.

“I don’t know. Do you have room anywhere?”

“You’re giving it to me?” Leah didn’t get what you meant.

“You’ve inspired me more than you realise Leah. Watching you work your arse off to get back on the pitch made me want to be a better tennis player”

You watch as your girlfriend stands up and takes your trophy. Leah pretends to give an acceptance speech which you hate to admit but it was better than yours. Then again the blonde always did have a way with words.

[billybob598]

Hey I was thinking of a FWB with either Alexia Putellas or Ona Batlle ( doesn’t have to be smut if you’re not comfortable) where they’ve been fwb for a few months and the reader and one of them have a crush on each other. One day, one of the ( reader or one of them ) confesses their feelings than they start dating!!!

Sorry if this is bad I’m horrible at making requests!

Have a wonderful day!!

Friends With Consequences (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

So, thanks to the anon who sent this in! I've got like 5 or 6 more requests I'm gonna try and do this week sooo yeahh... Also big shout out to Grammarly for correcting all 999999 writing mistakes I made in this one. Again any feedback good or bad welcomed! Have fun reading!

Word Count: 1.7k (Boom)

As you stare longingly at Alexia, your thoughts wander to the current predicament you’re in. You and Alexia had been friends with benefits for a couple of months. At first, it was just the consequence of a night with a few too many drinks in it. Then, it was celebrating Barca winning the league (again). After three “one time only” nights, both of you knew there was a little something more. That’s when Alexia came up with the brilliant idea of friends with benefits. Alexia also came up with the idea that there would be no strings attached, no caught feelings, you guys would be fuck buddies and teammates, nothing more. If one of you called upon the other, they would be there, but the next day there would be no bringing up what happened the night before. Sure, you liked her as more than a friend, but anything to keep her in your life while also having a little taste of what it’s like to be with Alexia.

As you guys started preparing for the World Cup you would usually be excited, however, with the Spanish teams' current state a.k.a Jorge Vilda you weren’t nearly as excited as you should be. Jorge was being quite hard on players part of the “Las 15” that had come back. While you didn’t take part in the rejection of call-ups, you openly supported your teammates. 

As the tournament progressed, you tried your best to keep a distance from Alexia. Not that she noticed, she was under so much pressure from the media, fans, and Jorge. It didn’t help that her knee had started to bother her during the group stage. The team, despite all off-field events, had been performing well. You guys cruised through the group stage, finishing top of the group. Unfortunately, Spain lost in the quarterfinals. Everyone was heartbroken, and of course, Vilda was not very happy. After the game, Vilda said some terrible, terrible things to the team and you specifically. You had not played your best game ever, but for him to blame it all on you? It made Alexia’s blood boil. 

Throughout the tournament, Alexia realized just how much you meant to her. She was able to admit that you were important to her. She, however, refused to believe that her care for you ran deeper than just friends, who occasionally fucked. So, as the new season at Barca began the two of you kept your current relationship the same. You knew you were in love with Alexia, at this point, there was no denying it. Alexia, on the other hand, kept denying and denying her feelings for you. 

“So, how’s it going Alexia?” Ingrid asks. She was probably your best friend on the team and the only one who knew about your current situation.

You sigh, “I don’t know Ingrid, every time I feel like she likes me back she goes and says something about how she thinks the friends-with-benefits idea is perfect for us. Or as soon as I think that I might have a shot with her, she’s talking about her latest match on some dating site.” 

It was no secret that Alexia was on multiple dating apps. She was always going on dates with different people, it seemed none of them ever stuck for more than two or three dates. It bothered you to no end, here you were ready to do anything for Alexia, willing to drop everything if she ever called, yet you know she wouldn’t do the same for you. 

“Well, maybe just give her signs that you like her and want to be more than just friends with benefits,” the Norwegian suggests.

“Signs? What does that mean?”

“Doing things for her, to you know, show her that you care for her in a different way than friends.”

You think about it for a couple of seconds, “So just like, be extra nice to her?”

“Yeah, basically,” Ingrid says with a shrug. You nod. You can do that. That’s easy, just show her that you care about her.

Over the next couple weeks, you did everything you and Ingrid could think of to show Alexia you like her. Bringing her coffee in the mornings, her favourite candies left at her locker, buying her food whenever the team ate out, anything you could do you did. It was so obvious that even some of the rest of the team started to pick up on it.

“Why don’t you ever buy me coffee, Y/N?” Mapi whines with a cheeky grin. One that quickly disappears after receiving a sharp glare from her girlfriend. You turn red before stuttering out a comeback,

“I don’t know Mapi, but maybe you should think about your girlfriend before asking other women to buy you coffee.” The look of true fear that crosses Mapi’s face is enough to distract the rest of the team enough for you to slip out of the locker room and onto the pitch. 

“So you really like her, huh?” You are startled by the voice, thinking you were the only one out here. When you turn around you’re met with Keira giving you a soft smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say quickly, hoping to avoid the question.

“So?”

“So what?” You try to play dumb.

“Do you like Alexia? And don’t try to lie Y/N,” Keira asks, pushing you to tell her.

“I think I love her if I’m being honest. She’s in my head 24/7, I can’t stop thinking about her,” you admit shyly.

“Then why not tell her that?” 

“I’m scared. What happens if I ask her out and she says no? I think I would have to move clubs,” you say in a joking tone, but both you and Keira know it wasn’t a joke. She looks at you sympathetically,

“Let’s say that does happen, you get that initial embarrassment over with and then you start getting over her. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but if she rejects you there will be other people. It’s not like she’s your only chance at love, mate.” 

You ponder over her words for a bit before speaking, “I guess you’re right, I should ask her out. Should I ask her out? I shouldn’t ask her out.” Your mind races, then Keira puts her hands on your shoulders and gives you a look. “Okay, I’ll go ask her out.” You walk away feeling nervous and confident at the same time if that’s possible.

As you approach Alexia’s door you feel nervous as hell. The second you knock on it you know there is no going back. So, when she opens the door and sees you, fidgeting with the flowers in your hands, you want to immediately run away. At this point, though, you have to see it through, no chickening out now. 

“Hey Ale,” you can’t keep the nervousness out of your voice.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” She senses your nerves and takes hold of your hand to try and calm you down. Smiling at the contact you take a breath before spitting it out,

“Wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?” Confused, Alexia asks you to repeat what you said. You sigh and say slower,

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” You then hold your breath, as Alexia processes what you said. Then, an expression comes across her face that you can’t quite explain, it’s almost a look as if she’s in pain and then apologetic. 

“Uhm, Y/N, I’m really sorry…” She trails off. When you get the gist of what’s saying, your shoulders slump and your face heats up with embarrassment.

“Yeah, no that’s okay. Don’t worry about it, Ale.”

“I’m really sorry, I just don’t like you like that,” she says feeling worse and worse every passing second.

“I get it, anyways these are for you,” reaching out and giving her the bouquet of flowers you were holding before turning and walking away, head hanging low. 

Alexia couldn’t keep her mind off of you for the next couple of days. Anytime she saw you in training she would try and catch your eye. It seemed, though, that you were determined not to speak to or even make eye contact with her. The entire team saw it, how you slowly cut yourself off from everyone, how you refused to come to team bonding nights, how you stopped going out with the team. For you it became, go to training and go home, nothing more. You had always been relatively quiet, but you didn’t even speak to anyone unless you were on the pitch. This concerned everyone, and Alexia couldn’t help but feel responsible for you isolating yourself. It was also around this time that Alexia started feeling like she made a mistake. Every date she went on she would always imagine that it was you across from her. That you were the one holding her hand and kissing her. So, as the January transfer officially opened, Alexia decided she was going to ask you out.

She originally planned to catch you after training, but you weren’t there. When she asked Ingrid about you the Norwegian just shrugged and said she hadn’t heard from you and that you probably were just not feeling well or something. Now, as Alexia walked up the stairs to your apartment she took note of how nothing was hanging off your front door. Usually, you had some sort of wreath or decoration hanging, she shook it off and put it down as you just forgot to put a new one up after Christmas. She knocked and stood waiting for a couple of seconds. That’s when she saw that your door was slightly ajar. She slowly pushed it open,

“Y/N? Are you in there?” Fully entering the apartment, she let out a gasp. It was completely bare, with nothing more than a couple of boxes and trash bags left. At that exact moment, she got a notification from Instagram. Tapping on it, her heart sank as she saw the post on your account announcing your transfer to Bayern Munich.

Alexia sank to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably.

Hope you enjoyed this one! Do we want a part 2?

[yutasbimil]

Enticed

gryffindor!beomgyu x fem!hufflepuff!reader ft. slytherin!jaemin | txt ft. nct dream ff. ✦ (6/8) [series fic] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: fluff cw: friendship/love, bestie-lovers energy, frenemies vibe, friends to lovers, lots of bantering, tutoring, teasing, crushes, confessions, jealousy, tension, slow burn, unrequited love, love triangle, hurt-comfort, eventual smut lol, break up, eventual happy ending, FLUFF!!! ! not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, but hope 3rd POV is good for y'all ♡ word count: 1.8k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 7 | part 8

do not repost © yutasbimil (2024)

It didn’t help with Yumi’s spiraling state that Jaemin broke up with her. 

Well, this was her on the last days of the previous semester. 

Now, it’s just the beginning of their final school year, they’re all gathered up in the Great Hall when the topic is brought up.

“What was the reason?” Bora asked. 

Yumi shrugs, just sad, but it was great while it lasted. “And we’re on good terms, so no worries.”

“That’s not exactly what I’m worried about, Yumi-yah.” Bora pouts, sighing as she looks too solemn for her own good. And for her to leave out the details? Not exactly in character for Lee Yumi.

“I’ll be fine.” Yumi pressed. “It’s great that we tried…”

They only got together for a few months? The three months were more than good enough really.

Yumi shuffles a bit in her seat, fiddling her fingers nonchalantly. “It happened over the course of summer… we eventually faded away then broke up.”

Distance was the problem? Meh.

“That’s dramatic.” Soobin comments, making Bora nudge him hard at his snark tone. 

Yumi took no mind of it as it was, indeed, a bit of a dramatic way to put it.

Throughout the summer, it just so happens that when Beomgyu got injured, it was the end of the semester. It gave time for him to focus on healing. It also gave a chance for Yumi, and some of the gang to spend some time hanging out due to proximity, staying in the same city.

Unlike her and Jaemin… but it’s better off this way.

It helped how she got distracted throughout the summer and just focused on herself.

“Finally, she woke up,” Yeonjun mutters, making Taehyun immediately elbow his side. Soobin and him surely are of the same feather. His mouth is truly something else. Even if you yank out the sleep-deprived part of him right now.

Nothing is new though. 

Beomgyu is still nowhere in sight. Or does he already know?

Soobin ponders but immediately brushes off the thought incoming. Nah, they wouldn’t approve that he immediately makes a move on her after a breakup. And they know enough he has respect for Yumi to not be an A-hole like that to take advantage of her vulnerability.

Wait, how did the thought go to Beomgyu—

“So it was mutual? The breakup or…?” Taehyun rolled the dice.

“Oh…” Yumi blinks, oddly surprised as it’s not an obvious thing to be picked up. “Jaemin called it off, but we talked it through properly before parting ways.”

The boys looked at each other, exchanging brain cells of what they may be feeling off of what might have happened. Bora slightly picks up the radar as easily as she picks up her food using her chopsticks.

There’s something…

Speak of the devil.

Beomgyu joins in, already recovered. Just as if nothing happened as he just casually sits down and joins them all composed.

“You preparing for the big test?” His eyes are directed at the dispassionate Yumi.

The moment he joins in, this is his upfront greeting.

“It’s the start of the school year, Beomgyu.”  Her bland response aligns with her unenthusiastic expression. She rolls her eyes as Beomgyu continues to elbow her energetically. “Yeah, yeah… I know we’re graduating so we need to take it seriously with the N.E.W.T.s. coming…”

He pursed his lips, taking it down a notch seeing her not matching energy levels. 

As if his mask was stripped off, Beomgyu just shrugs, passively as he levitates some food onto his plate. “Just keeping you back up to pace, chum. How about we get you some tutoring from your good ‘ol Mr. Choi, hmmm?”

“Urgh, he’s loud as fuck.” It managed to slip a slight smirk off her lips, she heavily sighs as Yumi noticed herself give in. “Again, I know this is your usual tactic to lighten me up. But get back to me after a week or two, then I’ll get to ya, Mr. Choi.”

“Ouch, treated as a business partner.” Beomgyu scorned, he crossed his hands. “As if you didn’t tend me last summer vacation.”

“Not in the mood, Gyu.” Yumi rolls her eyes, chomping harshly like the meat in her mouth. “I haven’t rejected your offer yet.”

“Well…” The conversation between them quickly died down. Amid their little bubble, the guys’ eyes on them are wide as they exchange looks. So it’s Beomgyu who will replace Yumi’s “tutor”?

It’s a way to distract each other, and Beomgyu knows and they know that she needs to get back on track. Like, this is nothing out of the ordinary, this was the usual even before being involved with Jaemin. They gather as a group and have their weekly study sessions. And it’s better now that they're more accustomed to their academics than last year. They can focus more properly now.

Them hanging out together as a group helped tremendously as it was easier for them to keep on track. But one rainy day, it just so happens that Yumi and Beomgyu were left alone; just the two of them.

“Finally decided to be my friend again?” Beomgyu speaks, his hand on his waist as Yumi approaches them. Yeonjun and Soobin are with him as if sending them off.

She perks her brow at the sudden attack. “I was always your friend, what the fuck?”

“Not that I was feeling any of it, doofus.” He purses his lips, emphasizing the cold treatment on their group sessions. She was there but not quite the most pleasant towards him. The two weeks in business days was just unbearable for him.

Soobin and Yeonjun weren’t having any of it.

“Aish, we’re already graduating and y’all still run your mouths?” Yeonjun had his face scrunched up. 

Soobin quickly brushes them off.

“Just don’t go strangling each other. We’re heading off to the fields now.” He says, waving off as if telling off his kids. 

Yeonjun has Quidditch practice, and before they walk away, he’s as if gawking his eyes out as he points his fingers to his eyes and then to the two. Most especially at Beomgyu.

But Ah yes, the air is different. Like there’s a lingering tension. A different tension, like different.

Yumi didn’t take any mind off any of this, just letting off Beomgyu as he took her books from her to carry. And off they went to the library.

It’s not a big of a deal. 

Beomgyu is also knowledgeable of the subject they’re tackling for today’s agenda. They can manage even if the others have their personal plans.

What’s different today? Was it the mild mildewy air? The rain pattering filtering the atmosphere that it added to one's desire for warmth at the drop of temperature? 

As opposite the heated gazes they spat at each other, the shift made them stir to a familiar memory lane. The array of books displayed across the shelves may be to blame. They may not withstand the amount of stories untold in each page, they would want to continue and preserve their memories like books.

Ah, the entrapment of flowery words. A poet is damned.

Yumi found herself lost in a garden of words as she scribbled nonsense in her notebook. But she had to be engulfed back to reality.

They were serious but something seemed off with the vibes, now that she thought about it— or is it because they touched a subject of sentiment?

There was a sudden pull of nostalgia in each other’s eyes. The closeness of her breathing altered his thought process, she’s too close, he felt her alluring warmth. 

Beomgyu had to swallow back an abrupt nerve of agitation. 

“You frustrated me,” she told Beomgyu. Yumi was so caught up looking at her lap that she didn’t get to see the aftermath of what her staring did to the Gryffindor guy.

“I just miss us being in the feel of it in our usual antics back then.” Yumi best managed to construct the ache in her chest. There was a feeling of loss; as if it could never be brought back; not in the same intensity of emotion as in the past. Their lenses were not that clouded with the vision they have right now that they have grown past that certain youth threshold.

As much as Beomgyu sees Yumi’s perspective, he has a different take on it. Spinning his Muggle pen of a contraption, a slight laughter escaped his lips.

“And that isn’t a bad thing?” He says as normal and expected to harbor such fear or whatever anxiety occurs in one's heart at some point. “We’re also here to create new memories together, at least we’re here, right?”

She had to pause, looking at the said source of the words to seep in its meaning and its meaning from her best friend’s heart.

Yumi faintly smiles. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

As gloomy and frigid as the ventilation in the vast room brings, it wavered a different tinge of light for Yumi on how she views Beomgyu at this moment. Now that they’re graduating… they expect that they have matured now. Hopefully.

But still clueless, as it seems.

In the midst of the crowded library, Jaemin sees quite a deafening atmosphere between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor’s resolved focus. Even as Yumi and Beomgyu both had their lips sealed, their strong gazes in their own little force field said otherwise.

Jaemin subdued himself behind an adjacent bookshelf, not making his presence known nor daring to break the bubble the two created.

He admits, there was still a flutter of butterflies seeing a glimpse of the familiar girl in his sight, they had a bond at some point after all. But he’s mostly okay now; assured even as he sees her accompanied by the reliable lion in her stead.

If you were Jaemin, one may feel it’s better off, especially since he can see that Yumi and Beomgyu are more deserving to be together.

Like Gurl, from miles away from just watching them, you can pick up how they’re running in circles on how they interact with each other. Years of playing cat and mouse even…

And I just can’t bring myself to go in between that further.

Mostly Jaemin is just looking back at the good times with Yumi. He shakes his head in amusement.

Yeah, they’re both idiots in love.

Jaemin is lowkey rooting for them to end up together soon.

He sees the way Beomgyu is looking at her, for so long, it’s hard to ignore and deny he’s down bad.

It’s not hard to spot a fellow guy liking someone. And it’s not just when she was his girlfriend… Even before, Jaemin noticed. He kinda feels bad he shoot his shots, but it’s fine they tried.

It worked till it didn’t.

He and Yumi decided on their differences; they didn’t have chemistry other than the physical and wits aspect. Jaemin enjoyed the times and decided to end on good terms, parting ways.

※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※

[pappydaddy]

pesky hair (j.m.)

a/n: this title sucks, i am sorry, i had nothing! reminder! i am testing out a new format, idk if i like it yet

tv show/movie: outer banks | pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

requested by a lovely anon as part of my 800 follower celebration

synopsis: jj recounts the most memorable times he did something about y/n's pesky hair

taglist: @luvhann | @thelakespoets  | @lonely-simp | @smarie7543 | @tenaciousperfectionunknown | @k-k0129 | @maybankslover | @taurusvic | @moralina | @verystarfishflower | @4dr1ana | @adr1ana | @instabull | @poppet05 | @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @444lyra | @savagemickey03 *line through your user means i could not tag you lovelies!

warnings: fluff | fluff | fluff | descriptive appearance (tried to be as vague as possible)

navigation | masterlist | taglist sign-up

____

  Y/N had a love-hate relationship with her hair. Cute cut that’s low maintenance to style - love! Being able to let her hair air dry after a long day of swimming - love! The very, very infrequent bed head monstrosity - love! When her hair just won’t go up in a claw clip properly - hate. When her bangs wouldn’t dry right so now she’s stuck with weirdly shaped bangs - hate. The times when she can’t wash her hair on the proper hair wash day and her hair starts to morph into little mats and tangles - hate. Those little strands of hair that just keep falling out of place and getting into her face - triple, no, quadruple; no, infinitely hate. Actually, she loathes it and it makes her want to chop off all the hair on her head despite the fact that she absolutely adores it. She was truly blessed with great hair - a miracle many people envied.

  JJ has learned this throughout their long friendship turned romantic relationship. He actually learned this way back in middle school when he noticed her starting to wear headbands all the time. Of course, he had to figure out why she kept pushing her hair back when he knew she loved her hair. Now he realises that the reason he knew she loved her hair and noticed she was suddenly really into headbands was because he was head over heels for the girl who lived beside his best friend. 

  Since the day he learned it bugged her, he had dreamed of taking the hair and brushing it behind her ear while she talked (so enthralled in her conversation) like he sometimes saw her do. While they were close in their friendship, there was a level of intimacy to the action that crossed the “just friendly” boundary and JJ would shit himself if he knew she knew how he felt for her. Because how would someone like her ever love someone such as JJ Maybank? 

  The first time JJ actually did it was completely involuntary. Autonomic if you will. It was a few months into their relationship. It was all flushed faces, shy glances across the room as they hung out with the other Pogues, and awkward touches until they fit together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. They were alone outside of John B’s. The rest of the Pogues having retired into the house for the night. 

  The only light coming from the moon, the stars, the dim fire in front of them, and the fireflies dancing around the air. Y/N was talking about her favourite show, talking fast and adamantly about the theories, how things connect to each other, and her opinions on everything. JJ had to be honest, he was not retaining any of it. He was too captivated by how pretty she looked right then and there. With the excitement in her eyes, the way her hands flew through the air as she explained everything. The way she would cut herself off as she was explaining one thing and start explaining another thing because she suddenly remembered it. And then he saw it. The slight, aggressive flick of her head trying to get that annoying stand of hair out of her face and the daydreams started. 

  He tried to ignore them as he started to try to take in some of the information she was giving him, but he could see the frustration start to build in her as she resorted to blowing at the hair in between words. At first, he thought he had imagined reaching out, his fingers lightly brushing against her cheek as he gingerly tucked the strand behind her ear. He had assumed he had imagined it because that has been what he’s done for the past six years. But the way her rant was suddenly cut off by her own shock made him realise that he did not imagine it. 

  Instantly, his own face dropped, his heart dropping to his ass along with it. A raging blush overcame both their faces as they stared at each other, wide eyed and completely short-circuiting. But soon, once the shock wore off and the sparks beneath their skin from where they touched subsided, they fell back into place - this time much closer (physically and emotionally). 

____

  The second time was smoother if you asked JJ. This was almost a year into their relationship. Intimacy was at an all time high. Butterflies still swirled in the stomach, but the awkward phase had released its grasp on them. Blushes still adorned their cheeks and the L-word was on the tips of their tongues. 

  It was midsomers, she was invited by Sarah and Kie invited Cleo while the boys found work at the party. It was supposed to be a girls night, but JJ convinced the boys to find jobs “just in case those Kooks try to pull a fast one on our girls” he had claimed. They already knew that he just wanted to see Y/N all pretty in her dress under the dim lighting of the outdoor festivities. 

  JJ’s shift as bar back had ended since he set up the bar meaning the second bar back was tasked with cleaning it up. For the most part, the party was over, but Y/N still sat at one of the tables. Moonlight and fairy lights illuminating her as she sipped at what was left of her wine. “This seat taken?” He had asked flirtatiously, earning a tipsy giggle from her. 

  “Well, I was hoping my boyfriend would be along soon, but I guess it’s free.” She waved a dismissive hand at the chair with a smothered giggle slipping past her lipstick-covered lips. 

  JJ pulled the seat out from the table, scooting it impossibly close to Y/N’s before sitting in it, happy to finally get off his feet. They were throbbing in the damn dress shoes and his suit was too tight and constricting, but being able to see her having fun tonight and dancing was all worth it. “That boyfriend of yours must be awfully lucky to manage to have a girl like you like him.” 

  She hummed in fake thought. “Actually, I think I’m the lucky one,” She admitted, leaning towards him. Getting the hint, JJ also leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips sweetly. She hummed against his lips, melting against him the best she could in two separate chairs. “I am so tired.” She declared. 

  “I’d say,” JJ snorted endearingly. “I think you and Sarah spent most of the night dancing and consumed a half a bottle of champagne each.” He recounted the night. Luckily, he kept track of how much they were drinking so he knew what type of tipsy he was dealing with. 

  “We had fun, shut up.” She pouted, tipsily hitting his chest in fake hurt. His chest shook under her hand as he laughed at her. Looking at her, smudged and faded lipstick mostly staying on her lips, her eyes heavy but so bright and wide at the sametime. Her voice was light but slightly louder than normal. But what got JJ was her hair. Once perfectly styled into some complicated half-up half-down updo with “face framing” (whatever that meant, JJ had no idea but he loved it), now the curls had mostly fallen out and instead of a few strands of hair in her face, most of her hair was loose. 

  Watching her nose twitch as her pesky stranglers that slipped out of her updo tickled her cheek, he reached his hand up, fingers lightly brushing against her warm cheekbone (from the alcohol induced flush). Enjoying the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips for a moment, he continued to tuck the annoying hair behind her ear. Her glossy eyes looked up into his, swimming with affection. “I know you did, Bub. Let’s get you to bed so you can rest from you fun night.” 

____ 

  The third time was by far JJ’s favourite. She was sitting there in front of him in the darkened room, candles surrounding them, illuminating them and the room in a dim glow. Both of them were tired but buzzing at the same time. In the candle light, he could see the white gown she wore, a figure of beauty. The centre of attention for the whole day not just because she was the bride. 

  “What do you say, Mr. Maybank,” She whispered, her eyes dancing with mischief. JJ didn’t say anything, knowing she had more to say. Instead, he just looked at her with nothing but admiration and love within his blue eyes. Her makeup was worn off for the most part, mascara flaked, lipstick rubbed off (mostly by his own lips), and her foundation slightly caked from all the celebrations at the reception. “Feel any different?” She asked with a lift of her eyebrow, a smile tugging at one corner of her lips. 

  His own smile took over as he lifted his hand. Her eyes fluttered closed, already anticipating his touch, leaning her cheek closer to his hand to meet him. She let out a little content sigh when she felt his fingertips brush her cheekbone, tucking the hair behind her ear before settling along her jawline. Warmth filled her heart, so overwhelming that she nuzzled her cheek further into his hand, trying to express how much she loved it. 

  “Even more in love with you, Mrs. Maybank.” He whispered, leaning towards her face until his lips met hers in a sweet, passionate, and long kiss. One that made Y/N’s inner school girl giggle and kick her feet in the air as if she were reading one of her cheesy teen romance novels that she loved so much back then.

[fieldofdaisiies]

𝙱𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 - 𝚁𝚞𝚑𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

happy birthday, love @callmeblaire. I really hope you enjoy these Ruhn Birthday headcanons. you are amazing and wonderful, don't ever forget this, love youuuu💛💛💛

Ruhn and you will obviously sleep in, and then he lets you sleep a little longer so he can make breakfast for you

thanks to magic, every dish will stay warm or cold (depending on the food and drink it is) while he wakes you up with soft kisses, his hoarse morning voice making chills erupt on your body "Good morning, my beautiful mate!"

and it is Ruhn we are talking about, so his first target on this day, on your special day, is to worship you

he will kiss every inch of your body, devour and worship you to the fullest, making it all about your pleasure

when finally fully sated, your hair a mess, your limbs still slightly spasming, and your breathing ragged, he will tuck you to his chest, and lift the tray with the breakfast onto his lap so you can devour the food

he brought everything you love, every dish and food you like: strawberries, oreos, chocolate cake, slices of watermelon, and so on and on

while you eat, Ruhn will tell you everything about the day he has planned for you, but obviously he will keep some things a secret

after breakfast your mate will offer to massage your feet, his hands working wonders on you

later you will shower together, taking your time as nothing is rushing you, then you get ready for the day ahead

he helps you put on your favourite dress, which you then should pair with the new shoes he got you for your birthday

while getting ready you share a lot of kisses and a lot of I love yous

the whole house is decorated and your eyes widen and fill with tears when you take it all in

Ithan, Decaln and Flynn don't waste a second to jump out of their hiding spots, cheering and chanting happy birthday, before all come up to you and give you the biggest hug

a party for your birthday is planned for the weekend, but that does not stop them for giving you their presents already and you open them, tears brimming your eyes as you look at all the lovely things they gifted you

the rest of the day is reserved for Ruhn and you

you are heading out, to start the day Ruhn has planned for you

it starts with a walk through Lunathian, where you do a little window shopping, stop for a coffee and a piece of cake in a lovely, little shop

you also do a little bit of shopping, because the starborn prince loves to spoil you

as you walk, you and Ruhn will just chat about everything and anything, his hand holding yours tightly

and well, since it is October, an ice skating place in Lunathion has already opened and you and Ruhn will obviously ice skate nearly the whole morning until lunch

for lunch you are doing a little picnic — it is not yet too cold, so it works just fine

once again, Ruhn obviously packed all the things you love, put together sandwiches, smoothies, bowls and drinks

you enjoy it a lot and maybe share one or the other kiss on the picnic bench

you walk a little more after that, until Ruhn stops in front of tattoo and piercing studio and he raises a brow in delight "Matching tattoos for your birthday?"

you love the idea, don't you?

of course, you do, cheering happily and so you do it — getting matching tattoos (it is only small one on your wrists, but it means the world)

you then head home, to change, as Ruhn wants to take you out to a fancy restaurant

it is wonderful and the dinner absolutely delicious

you enjoy your whole day so much, but obviously it is not over yet

when you drive home, Ruhn stops and you get out of the car, just so he can kiss you under a sky full of stars

and when you finally return home, he makes love to you all throughout night, once again devouring and worshipping you to the fullest

~~~~~~ tags: @azrielsbabyg @brekkershadowsinger @a-frog-with-a-laptop

[littlespacereader]

Hiii friend!!! I'm back again!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)!!!

So I started college the other day and so far pretty much every break between classes I have found myself regressing a little (despite trying not to). I was wondering if you'd be okay with writing a fic with any Moonknight character/s and maybe them messaging or phoning reader during class breaks and basically just making sure the reader is okay whilst without them and keeping them entertained.

Obviously completely fine if not!!!

Hope you're having an amazing day/evening/night!!! <333

As someone who is struggling themselves at college I can totally relate and sympathize with you! College sometimes stresses me out to the point of regression or I have so much fun I don’t realize I’m regressing. It’s a tricky situation! So reading this request made me feel a bit better knowing I wasn’t the only one struggling. I love the idea of Steven/Marc and even Jake all checking in on their little one. As per usual I gave a bit extra content to the story but I know you’ll enjoy it! This one talks about the first day at college (which is always super scary!!) and how the three comfort and help their little one.

After writing this I got the idea for another fic, maybe a part 2 to this, where the reader has a bad day at college and Marc, Steven and Jake all make the reader feel better after a rough day at college. What do you think? Let me know if you want me to write that one next😁 Anyway! I hope you enjoy this fic! 💞💞

The Little Moon Goes To School🌙

Caregiver!Marc Spector, Caregiver!Steven Grant, Caregiver!Jake Lockley & GN Little!Reader

Tags - anxiety, first day of school,

Nicknames- little moon, little one, sweetheart, love, Papa(for Jake), kiddo

Steven was a nervous wreck tonight. Tomorrow was his little one’s first day at school…well…first day back to college. He was so excited for them! Don’t get him wrong! But with the new change brought a new sense of anxiety to Steven, Marc and even Jake.

The summer had been spent with his little one close to his side. They went plenty of times to the museum together, plenty of times to the park. But as the summer came to a close both Steven and his little one started to become anxious with the new change of things.

But let’s start with the positives first! That’s how Steven likes to think!

The two of them had fun going to the shop and getting new school supplies. I mean who doesn’t love new school supplies?! Y/N picked out a cute star and moon themed backpack with a matching lunch box, a new water bottle, some notebooks and pencils and finally a rain jacket for the stormy weather London was known for having.

The next positive thing was they could take the bus together every morning. So it was almost like Steven was dropping them off at school each day on his way to work. Plus they wouldn’t be riding by themselves.

Next they could text each other throughout the day. Incase Y/N started to feel little or something was wrong, Steven was simply a text away. Despite Donna’s no phone policy, he managed to make an exception to her tough rule.

Lastly they would see each other at the end of the day, share a bus ride back to their apartment and have the rest of the evening together.

Maybe this wasn’t going to be so terrible after all?

Steven kept on a strong face, making sure not to show his little one he was just as anxious about the change as they were. I mean they were inseparable the whole summer, and now they were off to college during the day and he was off to work.

Marc was also just as worried and concerned as Steven, though he was better at hiding it. He took a tour of the school with Y/N, asked a ton of questions about campus safety, and scoped the area out. The school seemed safe enough, but nothing was too safe for his little one expect for when he was by their side. He was also interest in making sure this school was able to meet all his little ones academic needs.

Jake only popped in to explain to Y/N what they should do incase of an attack, which is the last thing Steven wanted Y/N to have to worry about. Jake provided some pepper spray and a very large knife for Y/N to carry with them to school. The knife or more like machete was soon confiscated by Marc when Y/N was asleep. The pepper spray was good enough.

Then, before any of the three personalites knew it, it was the morning of the dreaded day. The alarm clock broke the silence of the peaceful morning.

Both Steven and Y/N groaned awake, wishing for another hour of sleep. But soon the two were out of bed and rushing around the small apartment.

Steven breakfast while Y/N checked their backpack to make sure everything was still packed and ready to go. Then it was off to getting changed. Steven wore his usual, button down shirt and his grey jacket. But Y/N went through one outfit then another than another, each of which Steven thought looked amazing.

But he could see it wasn’t about the outfit their chose, it was mostly their anxiety making them second guess themselves. After the 4th outfit choice Steven stopped them.

He turned them the mirror and smiled, “You look absolutely amazing darling.”

He turned them back around and looked into their eyes with a proud looks on his face, “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you taking such a big step like going to college. You are so incredibly brave. I couldn’t be more proud of you than I already am.”

With tears in both of their eyes, they hugged. Just the two of them, Caregiver and Little, hugging in their small yet cozy apartment.

After a moment or two they broke apart, wiping the tears from their eyes. “Here,” Steven grabbed their hair brush. “Let me do your hair before we leave.”

Steven, Marc and Jake all had their favorite things to do when it came to their little one. Steven was the snuggle bug of the three. He loved to hold or be close to his little one all the time. The three also realized that Steven is the best when it came to doing their little one’s hair since he’s the most gentle.

So it because a routine of Y/N and Steven that he would do their hair in the morning for them. A cute way to start the day! With Y/N all nice and done, the two started to walk towards the front door of their flat.

“Wait!” Steven called from behind them. “We’re forgetting something I just know it.”

Y/N looked at Steven confused, “I don’t think we are…I checked my backpack before getting changed.”

But Steven shook his head, “No I think we’re forgetting something I just can’t…OH!”

Steven ran over to the fridge and took out Y/N’s lunchbox and water bottle. “There we are. Can’t forget your lunch.” He went behind Y/N, putting their lunch box and water bottle securely inside.

“Now are we ready for school?” Steven asked only to get a sad smile from Y/N and a nod of their head.

~~~

I walked out of the flat with Steven and down the hall to the elevator, the entire time holding onto his hand tightly. Reality was kicking in, I would have to leave him soon.

Now I know what you’re thinking “Wow this is very dramatic for just being gone the whole day. It isn’t like you won’t be seeing him at the end of the day.” And you’re right, while it is nice that I’ll be seeing him at the end of the day, it didn’t help my anxiety that I would be away from him the entirety of the day.

We spent the summer together, me right at his side. So to have the majority of my day without him scared me. What if something happened? What if I started to feel Little again? There were too many possibilities.

Faster than I would’ve liked, we made it to the lobby of our apartment building. As always the guy who sells brooms was right outside.

“He’s here this early in the morning? Who wants a broom at this time?” I asked Steven.

He chuckled, “I can’t say I wake up and go: you know what I need right now? A broom.” The two of us laughed.

As we walked down the street we saw our bus arrive. The two of us looked at each other and started to run.

“Wait!” Steven waved with one hand to get the bus driver’s attention. I held onto his other hand tightly as we ran to the runway bus.

Thankfully the driver saw us in time. As the doors opened Steven and I caught our breaths before hoping onto the bus.

“If we made the bus without running to it, I’d have to check if it was a dream or not.” I joked.

“We do not have a good record with the bus schedule.”

“I think they do it on purpose to us.” I added.

We both too a seat towards the back of the bus. And as the bus pulled away and started down the road, the reality of leaving Steven started to hit me some more. I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. Steven immediately took note of this and wrapped and arm around my shoulders.

“I know today is going to be tough. But just know I’ll be here if you need anything. You can always text me or call me and I’ll answer right away. Even if it’s not an emergency and you just need someone to talk to I’m just a text away.” Steven tried to reassure.

That definitely made me feel better. I nodded my head and remind resting against Steven.

“I’m going to miss you so much today. I’ll miss my little museum helper.” Steven kissed the top of my head.

“I’m going to miss you too. The summer was too short.”

Steven signed, “Yeah it was too short. But we did have a lot of fun, yeah? And now that the summer is over we have the fall to look forward too. You’re gonna love London in the fall Y/N.”

“Next stop University Parkway.” The bus announced.

Immediately without realizing I grabbed Steven’s hand and held it tightly in mine. My heart picked up speed. I wanted to go to college sure, but I didn’t want to go without Steven. Infact I didn’t want to be without him.

Steven held me closer, his arm still wrapped comfortably around my shoulder and his other hand rubbing small circled on mine.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. The first day is always super scary. But you’ll be okay. I’m sure you’re going to have lots of fun and make tons of friends. I can’t wait to hear about it all tonight.”

I looked up at him and nodded, tears threatening to spilling. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Steven had to fight it in himself not to cry as well, “I don’t want you too either, but I know you’re going to do amazing today. I’m so very proud of you.”

With that he pulled Y/N into a hug, wrapping one arm around their back and the other holding their head.

The moment was interrupted by the bus coming to a stop. The two broke apart and walked to the doors of the bus.

“Make sure you text me when you get to your class alright?” He reminded me.

“I will.” I ran over and gave him one last hug of the morning. “I love you.”

“I love you to my little moon.” He broke apart from our hug and kissed my forehead. “Later gators.” He smiled.

With one last smile I exited the bus and took in the university. I turned back around and waved to Steven as the bus took off. Then it was just me, by myself, to take on the university.

All it took was that first step. So with one deep breath I took my first step and started walking to the main building to go to class.

~~~

Steven smiled and waved Y/N off as the bus pulled away. Once he was out of sight, he moved to sit back in his seat and finally let go. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to pull himself together. But at the moment he couldn’t.

It broke his heart to see Y/N so anxious and afraid. He wished he could take it all away, all the worry, all the sadness, all the anxiety. He wished he could spend every second with his little one.

But as soon as he knew it the bus came to a halt at his stop, the museum. He got off and clipped his name tag on as he made his way to the entrance.

“Hello Stephan! Where’s your little one today?” The security guard asked.

“It’s still Steven,” he made a point of correcting. “And Y/N won’t be working with me for a little bit, she’s at college.”

“Aw! What a shame! I miss that little bugger running around.”

“Yeah me too.” Steven sighed.

Like clockwork, Steven’s phone pinged. He lifted it up to see Y/N’s text message:

Just got through all the new student orientation and info and I finally made it to my class. Marc was right it was on the left side of the building.😂 But I found it and I’m about to start class. Text you after! 💞💞

Steven smiled at his phone. A wave of relief filled him. They made it to their class alright! He sent them a text back:

So happy to hear you made it there safely! Have a fun class sweetheart! Love you lots!💘

“Stevie!” Donna voice rang out.

“Donna, how are you?” Steven tried to ease in.

“You’re 4 minutes late. And no phones at work.”

“I understand I’m late today. But we already talked about the phone rule. I have to check it incase Y/N needs anything or anything is wrong.” Steven wasn’t someone who had too big of a voice, that was usually Marc or Jake. But when it came to Y/N, he was as loud as me needed to be.

“Right, right, it’s kind of odd seeing you without Y/N here. I almost miss them.” Donna said before she walked away.

Steven smirked to himself, he would definitely have to tell Y/N that later.

~~~

Another text pings Steven’s phone while he’s behind the counter of the gift shop.

Just got out of class. Super nice Professor and the subject is really interesting! I met this girl who sat next to me. She’s super nice. I think I made a friend! :)

That’s wonderful sweetheart! I can’t wait to hear about this new friend and the class!😄 I gotta funny story for you, but it’s going to come as a bit of a shock.

Lay it on me! I’m dying to know!

Donna said she actually misses you.

WHAT?! 😱

I’m dead serious. I almost had a heart attack myself!

Well I had a heart attack and I’m dead now😂💀 Is she feeling okay?

I think she better see a doctor honestly. She’s being almost too nice to me today.😬

Maybe it’s an imposter Donna?👀

You could be right Y/N! I gotta keep a close eye on her.👀

I just found my next class! I’ll text you after that one. Have fun at the gift shop! Talk to you soon!💞

Later gators🐊💘

In a while crocodile🐊💞

~~~

After my second class it was off to lunch. The school had food for sale at the food court but Marc insisted it was all terrible junk food. So he packed me a lunch instead.

I sat down at a lone table and pulled out my lunch box. Right upon opening it was three notes on top, one from Marc, Steven and even Jake.

Hope you have a wonderful day at school. If anyone gives you a weird look or says anything to you, let me know. I promise I won’t kill them. Love you el amado

- Jake :)

Have an amazing day at school. I hope you have a lot of fun and make plenty of friend. I also hope you enjoy the lunch. It’s all your favorites with a cookie at the bottom. (Don’t tell Steven;) ) Love you kiddo!

- Marc

Have a great first day of college Y/N! I love you so much my little moon! I just know you’re going to have so much fun and I can’t wait to hear about it! Love you from the bottom of my heart!

- Steven ❤️ xoxox

Tears started to sting my eyes. Despite my caregiver only being one person, I felt the love of three Caregivers. I couldn’t believe they all took the time to write me a cute little note in my lunch box! I grabbed my phone and started to text Steven:

Thank you for the notes in my lunch box! It was really sweet of you guys! 💞

It was Marc’s idea. He wanted you to have a little piece of each of us on your first day.

What does ‘amado’ mean?

Jake says it means beloved.

That’s sweet of him! Tell him I said thank you. And Marc too!🥰🥰 Can I call you? Are you on lunch too?

Yeah! Just give me a second to clear it with Donna and I’ll take my lunch break. That way we can have lunch together. 😁💘

True to his word, after a couple of minutes my phone began to rang. I picked it up and answered it.

“Steven!!”

“Y/N!! How are you doing? How’s school been so far?”

“It’s been fun! I met another friend in my last class. His name is David. And he offered to show me around the campus one day. He seemed pretty nice.”

There was a bit of silence on the phone for a second. Before I realized it someone spoke again.

“Who is this…David.” Jake’s voice came through the phone.

I sighed and rolled my eyes playfully, “Jake it’s nothing to worry about. He seems fine. I promise! Plus I’m wayyy to busy for any tour today.“

“Alright fine. But if this David starts to act a bit odd you just let me know cariño.” (dear)

“I will Padre.” The nickname slipped out before I realized it. I wasn’t regressing…was I? No, no I was just saying that to Jake as a sign of endearment…yeah…totally…

I quickly changed the subject before he could comment on it, “Steven! Can you ask him to make his special mac and cheese tonight?”

“What’s wrong with my Mac and cheese?” Steven asked.

“There’s nothing wrong! I like yours too…but Marc’s is the best. Sorry!”

It was the honest truth. Marc was more of a chef than the other two personalities. There was a bit of silence until…

“I’d be happy to make it for you tonight. It’s the perfect night for it too, a bit chilly. That way the mac and cheese will warm you right up.” Marc said.

I giggled and kicked my feet under the table. I love Marc’s mac and cheese so much!

“Thank you!! And please tell Steven not to be be down. He always make the best desserts!” I explained, hoping not to hurt Steven’s feelings.

Marc spoke up again changing the subject, “Y/N, are you starting to regress a little bit?” He asked in his normal stern tone. Steven was the pushover, but Marc and Jake were…stern to say the least.

Now was my turn for silence on the other end of the phone. After a moment I answered, “Yeah. I just…I miss you guys.” I looked up in the hopes of not crying.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright! You’re okay! You’ve only got one more class after this and then you’ll hop on the bus and see us again! Look how far you’ve made it on your own today! You should be so proud of yourself.”

“Thank you,” I said wiping my eyes. “Just one more class.”

“Exactly, just one more class and then when you walk onto the bus we’ll be waiting there with open arms for you sweetie. You got that?” Marc asked.

“Yeah.” I smiled at the thought.

“Alright then, I’ll give it back to Steven.”

Now that was funny, as if to give him the phone and not the body, which is what he really meant.

“Hi darling! Still doing alright?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see you later!”

“Oh I can’t wait to see you my little moon! I can’t wait hug you and hold you all night.”

Despite Steven best efforts he was making feel more and more little by the second.

“Steven…what should I do if I’m feeling small at school?”

“Hmmm,” Steven hummed in concentration. “That’s a good question darling. Well, first you’re making the right choice letting me know. That way, incase of an emergency, I know what headspace you’re in.”

“Secondly,” Steven continued, “I would put your headphones on. Whether you listen to music or not it will block out the outside noises and make it a little less overwhelming for you.”

“Finally, if you feel too little and want to hold your stuffie you have two options. You could outright hold your stuffie or you could stick their arm out of your backpack. That way if you want to feel their presence, all you have to do is reach back and hold their hand.” Steven explained.

I nodded and took a deep breath. I could do this, just one more class and then I could regress the night away. Steven was right and his idea were just what I needed. “Thank you, I needed that.”

“Of course darling. I’m always happy to help. Listen, I’ll let you go because your lunch is probably ending soon but I’ll see you tonight. If you need me feel free to call or text. Alright love? I love you my little moon.”

I held the phone a little tighter in my hands. Oh how I wish I could just jump through the phone and be with him right now. But I will be strong, just one more class.

“I love you too. Later gators.” My voice broke a bit on the end of that sentence. With that we hung up.

I took another deep breath and tried to level myself. I grabbed my headphones and put the over my ears. Without music playing I kept them on and tried to stop myself from crying. I’ve had a great day! I don’t understand why I’m so upset suddenly.

But then it hit me, the fight against my regression was weighting heavy on me. My body and mind were frustrated with the resistance of not to regressing immediately. But the headphones started to help tremendously.

I grabbed Steven, Marc and Jake’s notes and put them in my pocket for some reassurance. I put my lunchbox away and back into my backpack. There inside I met eyes with my stuffie of Taweret. She stared back at me with her sweet hippo smile. My heart tugged at me to pull her out and hug her. But instead I took Steven’s advice and stuck her hand out so I could hold it every I felt I needed to.

With that I swung my bag onto to my back and went off to my next class.

~~~

Steven anxiously waited on the bus. His shift was over and how he was on his way back home. But first was picking his little one up from their stop. He was lucky enough to get a seat this time, the bus being crowded with the rush hour crowds.

He couldn’t wait to see Y/N. He was nervous the whole rest of the evening with Y/N explaining how they were starting to feel little as the day went on. He hoped he gave them good advice, he hoped they were alright.

Just as he boarded the bus they texted and said they were out of class and heading to the bus stop. So hopefully that meant that by now they were waiting at the bus stop.

But what if something went wrong? Or what if they weren’t there? Steven shook his head and listened to both Marc and Jake yell at him internally. No, Y/N was alright, and they would be right there waiting for him.

Sadly it didn’t makes his nerves feel any less at ease than they didn’t before. The only thing that would make them better is seeing Y/N. Luckily for him he was only one stop away.

His foot bounced anxiously as the bus rounded the corner to the college. Steven stood up and held the handrail as the bus came to a stop right in front of the university. And there Y/N stood.

Y/N smiled through the window at Steven. They ran into the bus and right into Steven’s arms.

“Steven!!!” They hugged Steven so right he could barely breathe.

“Y/N!!” Steven said, hugging back just as tight. “It’s so good to see you! I miss you so much my little moon.”

The two broke apart when the bus started again and they both almost fell over. Steven ushered them to sit while he held the rail next to their spot.

“How was your day darling?” He asked.

“It was amazing!! College is awesome! I met so many nice people and my classes seem like a lot of fun! I met this one girl and she has a pet frog! Could you imagine having a pet frog?!”

Steven laughed. “No I definitely cannot see myself having a pet frog. I’m so happy you had such a great day!” He ruffed their hair a bit.

“I’m happy I did too. I missed you! A lot! But I did have a good day. But now my day is the best!” Y/N said kicking their feet under their chair on the bus.

Steven smiled at his little one, who at the moment was regressing after a long hard day. But they deserved the little comfort. And boy was he planning on spoiling them when he got home.

[streets-in-paradise]

New Memories - Andy Barclay x Reader

Warnings: Some phone call teasing, the rest it's just fluff. This is a sweet birthday fic.

Summary: Andy is far away from you, worrying because your usual behavior arround his birthday changed with the distance. From fearing the worst to finding himself amazed, he would discover nothing could possibly stop you from cheering him up in the most dreaded day of the year.

Tags: @barclaysangel @devonsawachucky2014

The day had been full of trouble and, once again, he got to spend another birthday having to see Chucky. The hunt was a win and he was feeling good about that, but on the occasions his mind would go back to it he sensed something was missing. More concerned than saddened by that, he wondered why you haven’t given any signs of life throughout the day. Ever since he started seeing you, things weren’t precisely quiet between you on the dreaded special occasion. Sometimes he wished it would, because you were making a fuss every year. Aware of how hard birthdays were for him, as his partner you have self assumed the task of cheering each one in hopes of helping him build new memories. 

Happy memories, the kind he could treasure and revisit whenever the horrible ones would hit. With Chucky reappearing and you so far away from him, all he had to relieve himself were those reminders of your devoted love for him. You did text him in the morning, but he was waiting for something else at a moment he needed it more yet it never seemed to arrive. The whole process leading to the slaughtering of the doll required all his focus, an important mission distracting enough to keep him away from his phone for most of the time. However, with the night falling and the immediate danger disappearing he got to think about that again. 

More than disappointment, what your silence caused was an activation of his paranoia. There was only one doll left, most likely far away from you, but maybe he didn’t know everything. There always could be others, maybe one taking advantage of his absence to pay you a visit. Your dead body could be already waiting for him as a birthday present, just like in the old times. Kyle tried to calm him down by showing the rational side of it, but there was nothing more than plain irrationality in everything they had gone through. Maybe you were busy at work, maybe you were planning something special … or maybe you were gutted on your living room’s floor. 

It became too much for him and he was about to call you, but when he picked his phone he found an unseen notification from you showing a smiling picture of you. 

“Miss you, handsome. Call you in a sec, get ready” The message underneath read. “ Did you think I would forget the birthday fun?” 

He sighed in relief, then began to wonder what you were up to. 

“ Beautiful as always, I miss you too.” He texted back. “ More than you can imagine.” 

Your reply arrived a few minutes afterwards, another picture quite different from the last one. You were dressed as if you would be going on a date with him, some romantic dinner to celebrate and there was a description added in the message. 

“ Bringing the party to you. “ 

Andy couldn’t help smiling, almost in disbelief with the sweetness of the gesture. He rushed to return it, suddenly reminding he had a perfectly matching visual he knew you would love. 

The tie was off, but he was still wearing a suit, so he took a picture and send it to you along with his answer.

“ Dressed for the occasion.”

The call entered almost immediately. His sister chuckled since she noticed as well that the fastness had to be related with the effect the picture caused. 

He got you so In love and you were so blissfully obvious, worshipping the fuck out of him at any given chance. Getting used to it had been quite an adjust to him, but your love made him feel on top of the world.

" You have totally outshined my gift, babe! " You sweetly complained to him. " Holy fuck, look at you. The open buttons of the shirt do it for me … is that the fucker's blood over it? "

He chuckled, proud of himself for your reaction.

" We got one, i emptied my gun on him and that has been all my celebration so far. Not the best birthday ever, but i had worse. "

" Can't argue with a man covered in blood. Whatever you say, handsome. " You teased him. " This is unnaceptable, you are giving me the better gift when i'm supposed to be celebrating you. Neck exposed, shirt splattered of blood … Are you trying to kill me? What can i give in return? A full nude? "

" Fuck, don't even mention it. My sister is ríght here. " He explained you ríght away." Not that I won't love it, but it's not a good moment. "

It made you chuckle, but that didn't mean you weren't backing down from making things up for him.

" What can i do for you to match this, birthday boy?" You purred sweetly. " Anything you wish for ríght now? "

He didn't hesitate a second before replying.

" … Just to hear your voice. "

The tender adoration in that statement disarmed any defenses you could have left. He had turned you into putty with his sweetness.

If what he wanted was to hear some of it, you were going to give him everything.

" I love you, Andy … like i have never loved anyone else before. You are the one for me, you know? No matter the shit that bastard tells you, we are meant to be. I can feel it, every single day i fall a bit more in love with you. Some nights I lay awake wondering how is it possible to love this much. I'm obsessed with you, in the harmless meaning of the word. I wouldn't lock you in my basement, but i'm perfectly aware you are the man i wanna spend the rest of my life with. Who cares if the doll comes in the package? I will get a dog house for him to stay outside everytime he's gonna try come to kill us. "

His laugh was hidding some of the very real flusterred reaction.

" You are insane, no person in their ríght mind would risk so much just for me. "

" Even if he would kill me, i still win. " You insisted. " I've meet the love of my life, got to spend good times with him. It's a good life, many people don't get the privilege before they are gone forever … Besides, I would have the comfort of knowing you would go berseker and destroy him in the cruelest way. If he freezes me, you will bath in his blood or eat his liver or some other fucked up inhumane sounding punishment and i will be rightfully avenged. Why would i want to ever leave the man that would hunt down my hipotetical killer to the end of the world? A man so tragically devoted who had me as his whole fucking world, who loves me like i'm the last person on Earth. Who gets love like yours nowadays, Andy?

" Wooow, woow. Where did that come from?" He wondered out loud, amazed. " It's not like i'm a romance hero or something. "

" I have two friends that have gone through ugly divorces and a third who is tired of trying on dating apps where most guys don't show any interest for long term relationships … I hitted jackpot with you, Andy. Call me crazy, but love like yours doesn't exist anymore. "

" To be fair, you changed every measure for what i thought love was supposed to be. " He sweetly admitted in return. " How do you expect me not to loose my freaking mind for you? The fuck is this? How are we having this conversation? "

There was a very simple answer for that. You couldn't be with him physically, but you wanted to shape a meaningfull memory at any cost.

" Happy birthday, love " You told him once more. " We can't have dates or gifts this year, but i can still give you my heart ríght here and now, just talking on the phone."

His stoicism fell in pieces, beated by the intensity of your affection.

[laeteria]

Re-watching Aninana (S1EP1)

Hi, I have literally nothing to do on the train (which is like 4 hours a day), so I might as well watch one of my favourite series ever: IDOLiSH7. This is also kinda a compensation for the time when I said I would post about i7: Third Beat, but I never did after the 1st episode.

I'll simply write down things I remember from past me, notable things in the episode, and a few comments after this round of re-watch. I'll also try to keep it spoiler free!! For new watchers, the notes might give you some points to think about because I obviously didn't write them down without a reason.

Updates may be slow: I am a sad university student.

Past me things:

When I watched this anime for the first time, I just wanted to say that this was my first ever male idol anime I watched. My expectations were low.

I tried so hard to remember everyone's names in the first episode… I even paused the episode for it to catch everyone's name, lol.

Yes, I am one of the people who clicked the episode away to see if I was watching the right anime when they were playing basketball.

Notable things in the EP:

The basketball game already gives away a lot actually. Not only how Mitsuki and Iori seem to be close siblings, but also how Riku seems very tired after the match. Don't forget that it's a three-on-three and Yamato is the referee as if he doesn't want to insert himself into the picture.

MAN. When Iori started to wonder if Tsumugi was the daughter of the president, it was Sogo to say that it didn't matter.

Mitsuki seems to be very shaken by the news that not all of them are going to debut, only three of them.

Once again, Iori comes at Tsumugi because she has broken their trust and it's Sogo again who says she can't help it.

Yamato is the first one to count himself out because he was only doing this for his revenge.

Sogo, who is always looking out for the people around him but himself…

To be honest, Tamaki is so brazen, but it fits him (and his age).

Riku talking to Iori and how great it is to be able to work together with them, and Tamaki also looking serious when these words are spoken.

Sogo giving the bottle to Tamaki, so he could make up with Mitsuki is so Sogo like. (Mending the relationships here.)

Personal comments (after re-watch):

I forgot how much I love WiSH VOYAGE!

While everyone does look very serious, it hits me so hard to see their feelings align for the first time. I know it's just the first episode and it's probably because I have seen this series many many many times already, but I can't help but get slightly emotional...

I also really love how Tsumugi pinpoints the strong points of everyone in this episode because you will only see their appeal grow and notice them becoming a better version of themselves throughout the series. It's a masterpiece.

Together with the scene of deciding their group name, I think the first episode was very impactful.

[addictivepsychology]

Day 257

Wow

What a hell week

Full of anxiety

And worries

Stupid bullshit stress for no reason

Maybe this new job wasn’t a good idea

I don’t like living with families

It feels full of

Expectation

Like a pressure cooker that’s overheating

But you can’t see inside of it

Like dynamite

With no timer

But it’s kind of nice to feel

A part of something and wanted

I’ve been FaceTiming with accountant for days

Almost every day for a couple weeks now

I have a crush on him

Kill myself

I don’t know what to say to him

His daughter has stage 4 cancer

She just got diagnosed last week

And they’ve started chemo

Metastatic from the liver to the kidneys

Tumors throughout her body

I try to be supportive

But I know in reality there’s nothing I can say or do

I sent him a Starbucks gift card this morning, he seemed stressed and we stayed up on ft until 1230,

They had to be at the hospital at 7

She finally gets to be at his home today

I feel stupid for having a crush

I feel like he will just leave

Or I won’t be able to forget and replace my last

It just feels

Doomed

From the start

But I like him a lot

And I forget about everything when we talk

Matt

My 4yr

What a fucking roller coaster it’s been the past couple weeks

A nightmare I guess

Just stressful

Pure stress

I agreed to have lunch with you that day for reasons I barely know

Selfishness I guess

But I wanted to know how you were doing

Boy do I regret that

We were no contact for about 9 months I think

I told you to start dating recently

I told you that you needed to

You said you don’t replace people like that, and it’s not good to

But yes, it is. And yes, everybody does it.

So you started dating and started seeing this girl

You say you’re really into her and asking me for advice

Which I’m happy to do since I want you to move on

You’re a great person, just not the person for me

You’ve been sending long texts and having long phone calls

You’d told me that you recently started doing coke again

You’re actually not sober anymore

Still haven’t done opiates yet

But you’re going to kill yourself if you keep living this way

It’s fucking annoying

We’re getting there

We hung out a couple days ago

We met at a park and walked around, you told me about the girl

You asked what her intentions are while being super dramatic,

Saying you’re going to break her heart because she’s playing you

Or she isn’t? I don’t know, who does

You don’t truly know her, I say

You don’t know how often we see each other and she tells me everything, you say angrily

As if I’m telling you to break it off

But you said it, not me

And come to find out she said she doesn’t want to lead you on even though she’s the one bringing up marriage and kids

She’s said some weird and shady shit

But I think she’s just emotionally immature and doesn’t know what to do with herself

She jumps into things then gets scared

Like a little girl

But who am I to say she’s not a really good actress, maybe she should move back to your hometown,

Not me

You took her on a trip to LA,

Like you never did for me

I told you that I resent you for that but I’m glad

That no future girl will have to go through what I did

I learned a lot from our relationship, you say

But I was right about everything, when you were pulling away, I had to coax you into breaking up with me over the phone both times, you say

I’m sorry,

I was really fucked up for not ending it sooner, and for how things ended

You said it was abrupt but I don’t see how years of building of issues, and not following through warrants an abrupt breakup but whatever

You can have your views and I’ll have mine,

You said she’s playing a texting game where she matches texts even if they’re short, her texts have been shorter and she’s barely in contact,

It’s only been like a month so far,

Let it be for awhile , I said, you never know who people are or what they’re going through,

You said her ex husband was caught by cops and swat teams at her home with child porn,

She says she’s traumatized by it and this is the first time she’s felt love since then,

But who knows if that’s all lies,

You talk to her on the phone a little later after you ignored her call when we were hanging out,

You said it was a bullshit call,

The next day, we texted about it for awhile

Then I got on a ft call with accountant

And shit blew up

You had previously sent a picture of your lines

Saying you were pissed and sad and

More dramatic shit tbh

This shit sucks, but it’s life,

You truly never know people

You call me so we talk for awhile, but the little girl comes into my room, I can’t get her out until it’s time to ft accountant

I try to call but it goes to vm, I think we talk for a couple of minutes then I say I have to go

You text me more but I don’t respond since I’m on ft

You say we barely talked

I say I’m on the phone

And playing games

You say I’m busy with my man

He’s not my man

He’s a man I have a crush on, I’m single af

And I hate that

I said you’re dramatic, why you call him my man

You say because you love me and always will

Then sorry, I’ll leave you alone

Then this is what I’m talking about

I’d never do this to you, you say

Do what

Just not respond, I’m feeling it

I ask what to say back

I go with what you tell me which is,

I don’t expect a quick response or any response when you’re busy,

You say it feels like you can only get a real conversation out of me one a week and it’s so back and forth,

I don’t mind giving you advice, but we have separate lives now, and there’s a lot of shit im stressed about in my life, I say,

That’s fucked , you said you’d help me,

I try when I can but I can’t always be here,

I don’t always ask for you, I need to stop expecting people to be here for me like I would be here for them, you say,

I don’t know what you expect from me,

What you said, a call back that’s not stopped mid sentence, dude in high because I’m hurting, that’s my MO

(Can you say immaturity)

But sorry good night love you,

At 1am you say that I’m right,

I said to what,

You say never mind,

K, I say,

Don’t worry about the situation dude, seriously, I wanted your support, you’re so back and forth, it’s shitty, and I wouldn’t do this to you, I’m not asking for a lot,

I don’t know how much support or what you’re expecting from me, I have so much shit that I’m stressed about and I can only give what I can,

I just wanted to talk you say,

And sometimes I can’t give, you should bee going to therapy, I can’t be here all the time, I can’t be here all the time like I was when we were together,

I understand, I want to help you as well, I’m not asking to talk for super long, it’s just always back and forth with you,

I don’t need people’s help,

Damn dude…

And I’m selective when I do ask for it,

I’m sorry, you didn’t have to go that low…

You’re expecting a lot from me,

I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone,

And you’re going to feet high because of this then I’ll feel guilty and I shouldn’t. And this is the cycle and you souls be going to therapy,

Damn dude, you don’t have to kick me when I’m down.. I told you I’d leave you alone,

It’s not kicking you, it’s being honest, I say,

Later

And it’s fucked yup that you say I half assed a conversation because a kid walked into my room, as if you would’ve kicked them out,

I thought it was cute but I was annoyed afterwards, don’t worry about it

(The kid said accountants name multiple times, asking if I was talking to him)

Also you’re doing what you complain about your friends doing,

What is that, I reply,

Saying that talking and communicating is too much, I never expected you to be there all the time, I was frustrated but you don’t have to be egotistical and a jerk about it, sorry I got frustrated but you said some fucked up shit,

I know you’re upset but can you send me some fuck boy music,

Then today he said

How are you

You better come to my funeral 😉

End of text thread

Im so fucking done with this shit dude,

You’re not my headache anymore

I don’t need the added stress

No wonder we didn’t work out

Fuck man, I thought I was emotional, this is too much

I don’t want a sensitive man

I’ve got enough sensitivity for both of us

And you called me sensitive

I’m going to go to Jessica’s for my birthday!

I’m so excited a get dressed up and go out,

I’ll take some hot pictures and send them to you

I never feel hot anymore with this job

Like that part of me is dead for now

And it’s hard

I get to see v also

She’s going to come with me for my burger freebies in the morning and I’m excited!

Finally a birthday I’m really excited about

I’ll do my hair later

And do my makeup when I wake up

I know you have your daughter tonight but I hope I can FaceTime you before my long, drunk weekend

I’ll be texting you even though you’re not a texter

Someone’s I feel bad texting you, like I’m putting too much pressure on you

But I know you have autonomy and you just wouldn’t text back when it’s too much

But you’re going through so much that all that is an after thought

Tbh I’m surprised you’re still talking to me

Let alone listening to my problems and helping me as well

I texted you this after our ft call

I know you’re probably asleep but I just wanted to say thank you so much for listening when you have so much going on. My problems right now are nothing compared to yours, but you still choose to not only listen, but also offer help and talk about it. It really shows how you care about others. You are so sweet and have so many good qualities, never forget that. 💋 And just let me know when you need a phone call to just vent, I’ll be here to listen. You really deserve it.

Hey good morning!

Thank you for the kind message, I’ll always be able to put my issues aside and listen. The gravity of everyone’s problems is always going to vary.

I appreciate you for listening to me as well. As much as you don’t really know me or my family, it’s nice to be able to vent and talk about it with someone who isn’t in it

Thanks for listening,

Sometimes people are put in our lives for a limited time to help us through shit,

We will never know who they are until they’re gone

Apparently you were too

I do miss you and miss talking to you

Even though we never knew what the other looked like,

I felt like I always had someone to lean on,

You mean so much to me and you help me so much

You might still know more than almost anyone else

I found out it was you who had messaged me the other day

Weak af message, you can do better, I know you

You’re smart and funny and caring

I hope you’re doing well

And you’re getting everything you ask for

I miss our phone calls

Maybe one day we will talk again

But I guess it’s all up to you

[cassiagallo]

ABOUT — CÁSSIA GALLO

name: cássia gallo

nickname: cass, gallo

age: 31 years old

neighbourhood: downtown

career: bartender at The Rusty Spur

time in briar ridge: raised but gone for a few years

IN-DEPTH — tw: death, addiction, grief,

Cassia was born as the youngest of two girls who were the apple of their parents eye. Despite growing up wanting to be everything that her sister was, Cassia felt like she continuously had to actively strive to try to match her sister charm and social ease. Neither came easily to her like her older sister who could charm a crowd or easily become the foundation of a group of friends. Outside of being seen as the youngest sister, she was often more reserved or awkward outside of the close knit group she clung to while growing up.

Her older sister was the heart of their home— the first to remember birthday's and always prepared to plan a party or cook a meal to celebrate. Cass wanted nothing more than to grow up and be like her. She strived to be more thoughtful, kind and genuine. Despite the small gap between them, she was never made to feel as if her opinion mattered less and they felt more like best friends than sisters.

Her sister would often be the first and last text of the day, even more as the news of her sister's pregnancy came to light.

The news of her being an aunt only amplified her already fulfilled and happy life after meeting Sebastian. The moment she'd met him, she knew that he would be the man she would spend the rest of her life with. It all clicked into place and while her sister had always felt like her soulmate, he was her other half.

But everything shattered when the news of her sister's accident and imminent death reached her. She became a shell of herself; unable to function with the crushing grief of her sister and future niece's passing. She couldn't eat, get out of bed, and eventually, things like work and school fell to the wayside. It didn't take long before she was fired from work and uninrolled from school.

The final nail in her coffin came with an abrupt end of her engagement with Sebastian after a fight. She felt unable to deal with trying to share any emotion or ties after feeling like she'd lost herself in ways she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Her departure was prompt, leaving to travel and drown her sorrow in whatever she could. It started with alcohol, drugs, nights with people she can barely remember until she found a stable middle. She's often out partying, keeping busy to ignore the grief that still hangs over her, but no longer drinking to a blackout state.

CONNECTIONS — 

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS: I can see her having a group of close friends throughout high school who used to party a lot and rent out cabins in the summer and just do some fun bondfires, things like that.

OLD FRIENDS: these would be people that she fell out of contact with when she left town or maybe old classmates when she was in college.

BAD INFLUENCE: she's kind of turned to the dark side ( aka she is doing things she wouldn't normally do ) but someone kind of pulled that out of her, maybe encouraged her to go down that route and she never looked back.

EXES/FLINGS: this wouldn't actually be a serious relationship unless it was one in high school. it could have been something that lasted like a month and she just calls it an ex because it isn't a fling persay but it's probably just that.

HOOK UPS / TINDER DATE: I love the idea of things ending badly or dates going wrong and then forcing them to interact and it be awkward or horrible so i’d love a lot of these

NEIGHBOURS: people that live next to her and bonus if they don’t like each other over some stupid reason. maybe one of them had a loud party and the other made a complaint

COWORKERS: since she's a bartender, she has to deal with a lot of interesting characters so it could be fun to have a sort of friendship where they look otu for each other and have one anothers back.

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 5: Stuck In The Middle With You

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

consistent formatting? nah. in this house we believe in Convenient Formatting 🙏 rapid fire and no flashbacks again (when they start to get Super Painful later on you’ll mourn the days when i skipped them for extra fluff) we’re Zeroed In on the nerds for another hot minute. this is what happens when you get hooked on a fic by an idiot that’s more inspired by screenwriters than authors, srry ❤️

also this chapter (and probably quite a few throughout this fic) is specifically for the babes that have had to pick themselves up from the dirt after a romantic crash. i cannot tailor this in a vague way that lets anyone picking this up have their own catharsis here, right? mega impossible to one size fits all that. but what i CAN do is use the bundle of greek myth references that is ava’s concept to tell a story about regaining personal power after a total shitass tricks you into thinking youre not completely bitchin as you are ❤️

and i guess make a bunch of canadian jokes bc those are really funny to me tbh. thank you donnatella moss for the inspiration. the best accidental moose canada ever had

anyways. sit. get comfy 😌 think of the ex you reallyreallyreally wanna stab 🥰 and then go project that exact motherfucker onto alec ❤️

—

"Put it on."

"No."

"Put. It. On."

"Nope."

"It's going to look good on you."

Bucky flicks his eyes up from the news article open on his tablet. "Yes, it would."

"Great. Your head is still gigantic post-defrosting. Good thing the one I picked comes with buttons. Leave three of them undone—"

"I know how many to leave undone." That was a misstep. He knows it the second the words leave his mouth. She's going to use it as if it's compliance. It isn't.

"And I'm sure you remember how to get your arms through the holes, too. So, let's go." Natasha repeatedly taps her hand on the kitchen table, making her rings knock against the aged wood. "Make with the wardrobe change."

"I'm not wearing that, and I'm sure as hell not going anywhere," he counters blandly.

"Yes, you are. Get up."

"Eat dirt, Romanoff. I have this thing called a will of my o—"

"So, you don't want to go?"

"Correct."

"Nothing could convince you to change your mind?"

"Absolutely not."

"Who do you think is going to be more disappointed when I repeat that at the bar, Wyatt or Ava?"

Bucky's eyes close slowly. Gently. The movement is a stark contrast to the anger swirling in him, the majority of which is aimed at himself, not the Russian seeking to ruin his life. This was so easy to spot coming. So easy. And he walked right into it.

"Have you given—" Steve attempts around a mouthful of food, cutting off when Natasha hits him in the back of the head to make him stop. He takes a moment to wash down the Coco Puffs with a gulp of fresh coffee after that. "Have you given Wyatt an autograph yet? I gave him one. Super nice guy, you'll like him."

"Why is the brain trust suddenly invited to a night out?" Bucky demands. This is a fucking trap. There is no possible way that this isn't a fucking trap.

Natasha rolls her eyes at him. "We're plying them with booze to try and keep them from suing us into the ground for inflicting you on the populace. Now shut up and go change. You're not wearing those pants."

"I'm—" He cuts himself off mid-refusal. There's not a chance, not even a fraction of a percent of one, that Ava would take offense to him not wanting to go. He's told her, on multiple occasions, that he hates getting dragged out to these things. His friends are awful, and they just do this to torture him. He's not inclined to entertain that most weeks, and Ava knows that. "I don't have any other pants aside from—"

"Yes, you do."

"I'm not wearing tux pants to a—"

"The leather ones you keep for long rides."

Bucky stops, and not because Natasha just revealed knowing another secret he hasn't told her. That shit doesn't even phase him anymore. His eyes move down to the blue button-up she's trying to force him into, his lips pursing slightly. The leather pants she's not supposed to know about are worn to hell and back at this point. Heavy weathering, a hole or two at the back of the heels, more than a few deep scratches that'll become holes if he's not overly careful. Not the kind of thing that would usually be suitable for a night out. 

That button-up is new, though. Looks expensive, too. Good quality silk. It'll look more natural on him under a jacket. Less like a significant effort and more like something he got roped into. Which is precisely what's happening.

Bucky sighs deeply, looking back up at her in resignation. "I have some ground rules."

"You're allowed to have approximately one."

He looks over at Steve in frustration. The bastard shakes his head with a cackle, a fresh scoop of Puffs halfway to his mouth. "Ooohoho, no. Nah-uh. There's a captain on deck tonight, but it is not me." He stands up, chewing quickly, a big dumb smile on his stupid face. "I'm being a good boy and following her orders."

Natasha knocks on the spot of hardwood directly in front of Bucky obnoxiously. "Name your singular rule. I still have to do my hair; hurry the hell up."

Her sass reminds him that he has to figure out what the fuck he's going to do with his hair. "I'm not dancing, for starters—"

"Great. None of us will hound you about dancing; you have my word. Go get dressed. We leave in an hour, and you'll be really embarrassed if I have to drag your unconscious body through the tower." Her eyebrows raise expectantly as she stands up, looking between him and the shirt. To add insult to injury, she taps her nails along his head on her way out of the kitchen.

Steve doesn't look over from where he's raiding the fridge for another snack. "For what it's worth, she sounded excited about the invitation."

Bucky's eyes squint suspiciously. "You invited her?"

"No, Nat did," he replies far too casually. "I was just in the room when she made the call."

"See, your fuck up here is that now I know—"

"I have information you can try to weasel out of me? Thanks, Buck, I appreciate that, seeing as I'm entirely inept when it comes to interrogation and spycraft—"

"Only for the most part. Was this your push or Nat's?"

"Are you asking to be a pest, or are you asking because you need to know?"

Bucky grinds his teeth. He can say the latter, and Steve will never know the difference. "I don't need to know, but—"

"Then fuck off." He shuts the fridge door with a gentle swing and a bright smile. "I have to go get dressed. So do you." He flicks at the bun resting against the back of Bucky's head on his way out. These fuckers are always touching him, and they don't pull the Canadian routine about it. "Should do something with your hair. It looks like it has blood on it."

It probably does. His last mission was designated complete all of twenty minutes ago, and he definitely bled through some of it. Bucky can't really tell on his end; he's still coming down from the adrenaline rush. Something Natasha used to her advantage, no doubt. 

"You fuck off," he grumbles long after Steve is out of earshot.

—

"I'm completely serious."

"No, you're panickin', ya big baby."

"I mean it."

"I'd like to go ahead and remind you that I was there when you purchased most'a your wardrobe. Both times. I think I'd know if y'didn't."

"I can't wear any of that. It's one thing when it's my space—"

"You're allowed to exist in other places, ya dweeb."

"I didn't say I wasn't allowed. Just that...." Ava trails off, her nerves finally catching up to her. The argument had felt like a funny joke when she poked her head through the doorway to start it. Now it's not feeling so funny anymore. Paige is doing that awful, shitty thing where she makes sense. Leaning against the frame and glancing down at the master bedroom's carpet, Ava feels small. "I don't know. The stuff I wear to conferences is too—prim. Most of it's ballroom shit and wouldn't work, anyways. All of my usual go-to's just... It all feels... stupid."

The energy drink chugging champion that is her best friend props herself up on her elbows where she's laid out on her bed. The headband she's wearing has two miniature alien heads poking up from it that wiggle with the motion. "Well, hey there, Alec. Long time no see, ya son of a—"

"Yeah, yeah," Ava waves her hand dismissively. The reminder does knock some of the pity party out of her, at least. There was a time when she made decisions for herself and herself alone. Those were damn good years, and Ava is trying like hell to get back into the mindset. The one she proudly lived in before she let someone talk her into being ashamed of who she is. "Let my freak flag fly, whatever. I still don't have anything to wear." Nothing that doesn't feel crushingly laughable, anyways.

"What about that lace skirt you've got, the one with the swirly patterns? That one's so cute."

Ava frowns. She's not looking to get squished in hosiery tonight, which would be the only way to save herself in something that short. "For dancing?"

"Mmm. That's, ya know, that ain't a bad point. It ain't exactly built for the breeze." Paige tilts her head to the side, making the aliens go wild. Her face pinches like she's brainstorming. Then her eyes go wide with excitement. "Oh! Wear that—the, the thing!"

"Gonna need more to go on." She snaps her fingers as Paige smacks at her own bedspread.

"The wrap dress!"

"You're out of your mind," Ava laughingly insists. Now that she's caught up to her best friend's train of thought, she's almost startled. "That's—first of all, I think it's technically a sun dress—"

"Who gives a shit? Ya look great in it."

"I look—that's beside the point. It... it's not too...?"

"Too...?"

"Shit, I don't know." She folds her arms over her chest and chews her lip for a few seconds. "What do I wear with it?"

"Nothin' but heels." The smirk on Paige's face is devious.

"You know what else isn't built for the breeze? Me. I'm not looking to flash the Avengers tonight, thanks." The words make her instantly think of Bucky, shamefully enough. He's not even going to be there tonight. She's absolutely sure of it. He's told her how much it takes to convince him to go out these days.

The manic pixie rolls her eyes. "Alright. The dress, the heels, and somethin' stringy."

"How about a jacket?" Ava reasons, already turning to go back to Paige's guest room, the one that's been unofficially hers for years.

"Pick one that's sheer, ya chickenshit," she shouts down the hallway behind her.

"That's a lot of sass coming from the woman who can't look America's Sweetheart in the eye!" 

"You'll thank me when you don't wake up here!"

Ava gets hit with the mental reminder that a certain sergeant has been threatening to fly her home for over a week. She hip-bumps her unofficial door closed with a huff. 

Bucky's not going to show up tonight. 

Even if he was, the man's a serial flirt, and she's his—the primary neurosurgeon on his case. Not-flirting through his appointments has been…. She's been trying to think of it as a bedside manner. A very unprofessional bedside manner. The kind she wouldn't have the balls to admit to out loud.

Natasha didn't mention him directly during the invitation call, only his case. All she said was that the whole team was welcome, including the duct rat, Findley. No mention of other attendants. It would have been brought up if he were going to be there; Ava's sure of that. 

Natasha did mention getting Paige home on time, which was suspicious. Tomorrow is the engineer's first mission assigned to the Avengers as support, sure, but they don't seem like the type to need a pre-check. Ava's only seen a handful of SHEILD agents listed in the medical reports from Bucky's missions, and he never mentions any of them directly. She's always gotten the impression that assigned agents are an unknown hand in that machine.

If Steve ends up tagging along, she'll have her suspicions about the Russian's intent with this whole thing. She might have an ally in the fight to push her best friend that she didn't know about. 

Maybe she'll go to the tower after Paige is home safe. Ava's brought up the idea of switching to night appointments before, and she doubts Bucky would say no to a quick ten minutes on the roof. He might even stay for a while without having the excuse of leaving her to her work. 

She could pick up some late-night bagels to bribe him with. Her favorite shop closes early, but they work til midnight sometimes just for the baking process. Ava does the yearly medical work for the owner and his family without charging him. In return, he lets her sneak in after hours for cream cheese and salmon. With that and a quick stop to her office for a handful of lollipops, she's got herself some super soldier bait. 

She might not even stop to change back out of the dress. She'll grab the lab coat, though. Bucky looks more at ease whenever she has it on.

—

He wants to leave already.

It's been eighteen seconds since they coraled him through the front door. He's very proud of himself. He didn't think he'd make it to half that before the urge hit.

Bucky looks around the crowded bar with the sourest face he can muster. It's loud, it's cramped, it's loud, he's already hot enough to know he'll be sweating at some point, and it's too fucking loud. The checkpoint out front is a disaster. He's not real clear on what the standards for a bar security chief are, but that pick-up artist with the handheld, battery-powered metal detector out front doesn't fit his definition of competent. Not by a long shot.

The Avengers haven't rolled out with the full roster tonight. Tony, mercifully, is away with Pepper, Barton fucks off to god knows where, and Rhodey's as much of a workaholic as Bucky is. He tries not to think about where Thor goes. That particular can of worms is pretty full. He's still trying to get used to the fact that they've got a Quinjet that can just go to space. Whenever he—they want.

The ones that did come don't give him any shit when he breaks off to do his walk-about. They all figured out pretty early on that it's a sensitive subject. Bruce doesn't even notice him leave half the time. Steve used to do a piss-poor job of inconspicuously following him back when Bucky was primarily non-verbal. Natasha never mentions it.

The building is two stories. There's a halfway decent camera set-up that he can tap into through the wifi. No windows in the bathrooms. The roof access isn't wired with an alarm. All the emergency exits are, though. The owner's room was locked before Bucky got to it, but the staff areas are open to whoever turns a handle. They've got a round of code inspections coming up at the start of next month. They'll fail at least two of them if they don't unblock that rear door.

Sam silently checks in with an offered fist bump once he's back at the table eight minutes later. Bucky doesn't hesitate to reciprocate it. There's already a half glass of whiskey sitting on the table waiting for him. He doesn't hesitate to get his mitts on that, either.

Wyatt and Hannah show up before Ava and Paige do. It's the first time Bucky's been faced with meeting them since Ava offered that one time. She never pushed it after that. He's been meaning to get around to it. But the idea has been making his teeth buzz too much to go through with it.

Hannah is laser-focused on him from the start. She's just as conscious of it as he is, then. He can tell the moment that the realization hits Wyatt. His eyes widen with a flash of concern, his burly frame curling in on itself as if that'll make six feet of muscle look less threatening. It's almost heartwarming that he's worried about looking threatening to Bucky, of all people. The anxiety on the kid's face gets swallowed up by excitement. Seconds later, another wave of anxiety surfaces. It teeters back and forth as Hannah pushes him up to the table through the crowd.

Bucky watched Atlantis the other night after one of his nightmares took away any chance of falling back to sleep. It saved him from having to wake Steve up for a trip to the supply store. He texted Ava about it once he spotted the sun through the small gap in his blackout curtains; she was thrilled. Seeing the baby-faced brain surgeon nervously approach the table makes him understand why she compares him to Milo, not Dr. Sweet. 

Bucky's not looking to be the aggressive silent type anymore. At least not when it comes to the people working their asses off for him. He reaches out with his flesh hand, giving a reassuring half-smile to Wyatt. "Good to finally meet you, Combs."

The grin that stretches across the doctor's face looks wide enough to hurt. A stubby hand reaches out across the table for an enthusiastic shake. "It's an honor to meet you, Sergeant Barnes."

"I'll sign that journal Ava's warned me about if you promise to call me Bucky," he bribes, taking his hand back for another sip of whiskey.

"Y'mean it?" He's already headed for his patch-covered messenger bag with a hopeful look on his face. "I can use whatever makes ya comfortable. I'm not gonna make ya sign—"

"Hand it over." He glances over to where Hannah is sitting down across from Bruce. They trade an amicable nod when she makes direct eye contact again. "It's good to meet you, as well, Schuster."

"Barnes." He hears the sound of a boot being kicked under the table and watches Wyatt glare at the side of her head. She gives Bucky a strained smile. He's got a feeling it's usually strained. "Likewise."

Bucky likes her already.

As Ava warned, it doesn't take long for Wyatt to start asking about maps. He's bombarded with questions the moment he hands the journal back, with a fresh, chicken-scratch signature on one of its pages. The kid has a lot of trouble picking one at a time, and Bucky's trying not to shorten his answers out of habit. 

He keeps a mental list of the information Wyatt's most interested in. A year ago, he would have done it out of ingrained habit. Tonight it's a deliberate choice. Bucky can get his hands on records the Combs family doesn't know about. The kind they can't make a legal request for because there's no official log of it.

Ava and Paige are the last to arrive. He's too busy trying to give Wyatt more stories when they walk through the door to spot them. Steve is the first to notice their entrance, pausing mid-sentence about a mission the Howlies went on that Bucky barely remembers. Looking away from Wyatt's face, he understands why his best friend froze up. 

Good fucking god almighty. She's trying to kill him.

The doctor that haunts Bucky's dreams is walking through the crowded bar in an outfit that should be triggering the tactical analysis in his head. The analysis that, lately, only ends when his mind catches up to the fact that he shouldn't be thinking about being balls-deep in her while trying to make eye contact. It's probably—definitely inappropriate. But something about the thin, light blue fabric of her dress is shorting him the fuck out. 

It's low-cut, which is the first strike. The second is the way that split up her right leg only stops when it reaches the top of her thigh. The third—the one that really knocks him flat on his ass—is the way the whole thing is pulled in to show off her hips. The ones he'd have a lot of trouble letting go of if she ever let him put his hands on her to begin with.

He roughly swallows around nothing but air. His eyes shoot up to Ava's face, desperate to stave off his bastard mind latching onto her outfit. The last thing he needs in his head right now is a full-scale plan for laying her out on the table to unwrap that thing like a present. She's smiling at him, genuine surprise shaping most of her expression. God willing, it's about his presence here, not where his eyes were a second ago.

"They let you out of the house now?" she sasses him over the roar of the bar. Her hand folds into a fist and props high on her hip as she stops at the table's edge, her other arm linked with her best friend's.

Bucky is so fucking hopeless for her. "Yes, ma'am. But only if I get enough green stickers that week."

"In that case, thanks for behaving. I didn't think you'd be here tonight." That smile of hers is still bright as the sun. Still aimed at him. Christ, he's never been happier about Natasha ruining his life. "I'm pleasantly surprised around you, for once."

Gimmie half a chance, and I can show you every kind of pleasant surprise there is. 

If this were 1943, he'd still have the balls to say it to her. It'd be suicide to say it around his idiot friends, but he was a dumbass who wouldn't have hesitated back then. Not with someone like her. 

It's probably a good thing it's not still 1943. "If I make all the surprises annoy you, you'll tell me to stop. I have to keep you on your toes, or you'll get bored."

One of her eyebrows raises at him, entirely unimpressed. It makes him want to hold her hand. "You do understand how cool my job is, right? You're also a literal cyborg I get to poke at whenever I feel like telling you it's medically necessary. What part of that am I supposed to get bored with, sergeant?"

Bucky folds with a shy chuckle, bringing up his glass of whiskey to hide his mouth behind. "You get used to the shiny parts."

"I'm sure he'll let you add more when he busts his ass again," Sam jokes from off to Ava's left. He's staring at Bucky with an overly satisfied grin. It makes him glare over his whiskey while Ava and Paige sit down.

"Sorry we're late," Paige says, her eyes moving to Steve and her cheeks turning slightly pink. "Gettin' through Bronx traffic is always fun."

"Ordered Ryder's usual," Hannah mentions, pointing to a tall glass of ale the waiter dropped off while he wasn't looking. "Didn't know what you were in the mood for."

"Somethin' fizzy." She rhythmically taps her mismatched nails on the table, humming to herself while she glances over the drink menu. "Or maybe somethin' icey."

"I went the margarita route if you wanna go halfsies tonight," Wyatt offers, nudging his frosted glass over to her. Paige perks up and leans over for a sip.

He looks over at Steve, who's watching the interaction with the sappiest smile. It nearly makes his eyes roll. Natasha and Sam sniffed out the captain's big crush a long time ago, but it's the first time Bucky's seeing it for himself.

Neither one of them has learned a goddamn thing. Not in a hundred years.

A much more gentle nail taps right in front of his arm, dragging his eyes back to Ava while she gets herself seated. "What made you decide to come?" 

She would hit him with a question that blunt right off the bat. He tries not to notice Sam's silent laughter next to her. 

"Heard the egg heads were making an appearance," he decides to be mostly honest with.

The pleased smile on her face takes on a softer edge. She really hadn't been expecting him to show. It makes him all the more glad that he listened to Natasha. "We convinced you?"

You did. "You're surprised? I'm not about to put in the effort for these assholes."

"He only does that for our birthdays," Sam tells her, leaning into her space slyly. 

Bucky holds out his hands, mildly insulted. "And bank holidays."

Ava turns her head to offer her hand to Sam with a warm giggle. She looks so fucking good in the low bar light. With her neck muscles stretched like that, Bucky wants to kiss under her jaw just to see her reaction. "I've been hoping we'd meet again under better circumstances. Ava Ryder."

Sam barks a laugh, wrapping his hand around hers. "I'd say watchin' you hand Steve his own ass was great circumstance."

"Well thanks," Steve interjects, flipping him off before going back to drawing on a napkin with Paige.

The comment, and the gesture, gets ignored entirely. "Sam Wilson, but you can call me your favorite Avenger."

Bucky almost rolls his eyes again. Watching Ava's giggles get worse stops the urge.

—

She was wrong.

He came out tonight. To a bar. To spend time with them.

Ava takes another drink of her ale, watching the Winter Soldier over the rim of her glass. Wearing a dress that could unwind from her with a few strategic yanks on a couple pieces of string. And heels that could have paid a month of her first apartment's rent. In a New York bar.

If her parents could see her now, they'd croak.

Bucky is so goddamn attractive in his dark leather jacket that it's un-fucking-real. The bastard looks softer with his hair down like that, and there's chest hair peaking out from that button-up he's left open to a torturous degree. It keeps distracting her every time he turns to say something to Steve. His hand is the only shiny part on display at the moment. 

The glory tales from Steve don't do the heartstopping aura justice. The fact that Bucky has had the nerve to lie—to her face no less—and say they're blown out of proportion makes her seethe sitting across from him now. No wonder he was prolific; how the hell could he not be with a face like that and the attitude to back it. Now that he's not in a professional headspace, the latter is coming out in spades. The super serum body is a mouthwatering, climbable bonus.

This is the man that keeps threatening to fly her home.

Ava takes a longer drink.

She hasn't been this in over her head since college. The familiar knee-jerk reaction of bullying him is the only thing that doesn't feel petrifying. Bucky is the last person that would make her feel unsafe, but good god, the man is intimidating. Trying to find something to say to him that isn't a joke is a lot harder than usual, with him looking that good.

Paige tuned out the moment Steve gave her meticulously outlined boxes to doodle in on an unfolded napkin. He's been adding detailed frames to them ever since while the two trade work stories. It makes Ava jealous. Her best friend might be oblivious, but at least she's not the one tongue-tied tonight.

Knocking her knees together under the table, Ava leans forward and tries another round of facing down the sergeant. "Worth the trip so far?"

Way to go, moron. Pressure him, why don't you? Of course he's having a good time; he wouldn't still be sitting here if he—

Bucky smiles at her, calming her nerves without even trying. "Every second." He looks down at the glass in her hand, then back up at her face. "You havin' fun, doc?"

She misses hearing him call her doll. It's starting to feel like maybe it was an accident the handful of times it happened. He hasn't done it in days. "Unlike you, I enjoy human interaction. Plus, the hippie thing makes me partial to loud noises." And sweat. And weed to make the loud noises sound better. And men with long hair and deep voices that would sound—

"I don't mind human interaction," he argues, folding his arms on the table and leaning over with her. "I'm just picky about the people I interact with."

"Awww," Paige coos at her side. "And we made the cut? I'm honored."

"You should be," Steve confirms with a smirk, his eyes never leaving the napkin under his hand. "He's not exaggerating."

"That's unusual for him," Ava jumps on Bucky with. She regrets it right up until he snorts and briefly covers his mouth with his hand. It's a real fuck up on his end; she takes it as an all-clear to do it to him again at her leisure. "The only people I've met with bigger heads are cardiologists."

"That's the second time you've brought them up," Bucky notes. She honestly can't remember the first, but it sounds accurate. They're fun to mock.

"Nice deflection, superstar." His eyes widen a fraction at her teasing, boosting her confidence. "Have you had the displeasure of meeting one? I'm allowed to be mean to them as a neurologist, by the way. Secret doctor pecking order and whatnot."

"If I have, I probably don't want to remember," he deadpans. Steve gives him a dirty look, but it makes Ava snort. The smug look Bucky gives her in return makes her stomach flip. "I wanna hear more about this secret doctor pecking order. How far up that chain are you?"

"I don't know, man. How far up is your brain?" 

Bucky's eyes shut in pain, and he smiles. "It's so hard to be proud of your ego when your awful puns surround it."

"You'll manage," she assures in a supportive tone. 

A low whistle drags Ava's eyes to one end of the table, where Natasha is getting up. "I'm going dancing. It's up to you losers who's coming."

A majority of the table, including most of Ava's team, moves to follow. She doesn't. Bruce and Hannah don't, continuing their discussion on a medical journal he read that morning. Bucky doesn't leave either.

He watches Ava as Paige leans over to kiss the top of her head. She's pretty sure he watches her all through their short yes, I'll watch your bag check-in. He's still watching her when she looks back at him, slowly circling his glass to make the whiskey inside it swirl.

"Not a fan of dancing?" he finally asks.

"I like dancing," Ava confirms. "I just like picking on you more." The words feel outrageously bold for how innocuous they are. It's the truth, but she feels a little stupid for saying it out loud. Whatever, if it means spending the night out with him, that's fine—

Bucky puts down his glass, a determined set to his posture. "Dance with me."

Her jaw almost drops. She doesn't catch her nervous burst of laughter in time to stop it. "I—what? You? Bucky Barnes, mister touch me and die himself wants to—"

"I let you touch me all the time." The tone he uses for the blatant—

Christ, is she ever in over her head.

She ignores his flirting like a coward, racing to hide behind professionalism as fast as her mouth can get her there. "The funny thing about that is I have your willing participation—"

"You've got my willing participation for this, too." He sounds like he means it, which is the worst part. It makes it impossible to bring herself to tell him no.

She hesitates one last time, primarily out of fear of embarrassing herself. "You're sure you want to dance?"

"With you?" Bucky stands up, allowing her to see the well-worn leather sitting low enough on his hips to turn her into a bigger wreck. "Yeah, doll. I'm sure."

Hannah leans over to slide the bag Paige left behind across the table, closer to her. She doesn't bother to stop talking. Bruce is smiling from ear to ear, stealing glances at her and Bucky. He's doing a terrible job of hiding it. 

Standing up on nervous feet, Ava watches Bucky circle the table. He offers up his flesh hand when he approaches her, his signature Brooklyn smirk on his face. "Ready?"

Fuck no. She slides her hand into his, breathing deeply when he squeezes her fingers. "I really hope someone's given you the memo on modern dancing because I have no idea what the hell you people did in the 30s." 

"I'm sure you'll help me figure it out." He's sounding more confident with every word, and it's scaring the absolute shit out of her. 

It's innocent at the start. Bucky's a perfect gentleman leading her through the crowd. He spins slowly to face her when he finds them a wide enough space, pulling her in close. The pressure of his fingers is barely there when his metallic hand moves to her lower back. Ava brings both her hands up to his chest when he lets go of one of them. 

"You'll tell me if you're uncomfortable, right?" she checks again, stretching up as close to him as she can. There's no way he has trouble hearing her over the music, but she doesn't remember that until she's all but hanging off him. It makes her cheeks feel warm.

His flesh hand moves over her hip, resting on it gently. Bucky leans down and turns his head in, getting right up to her ear. He's already starting to guide the direction of her half-hearted movements. "I will. You gonna do the same?"

"I will," she promises. Mirroring his words is the only thing her brain can come up with, given how unfairly good he smells. It's obliterating every train of thought she has. 

It is… terrifyingly easy to let herself go in his arms. The movement of her hips gets more involved, following the tempo of the song and the direction of his hand. Hers go up to his shoulders, bringing him in closer a fraction at a time. By the time the song changes, she gives up and lets them wrap around the back of his neck. 

Somewhere around the third song, when the bar's DJ is trying to ramp up into a faster energy, she ends up turned away from him. Ava isn't sure how it happened. It could have been his doing; she's not paying all that much attention. All she knows is he's pressed up against her back now, the hand on her hip moving towards her leg incrementally. Her head tilts off to the side as her eyes close, letting the Winter Soldier guide her.

His fingers stop their advance once they reach the top of the gap in her dress, the one that splits up her thigh. She gives him all of thirty seconds to figure out if he's brave enough to go further on his own. Then the ego boost from having Bucky—of all fucking people—trying to make a move on her wins out over her fear. 

Ava lays her fingers on top of the hand hesitating on her leg, urging it down. 

The first touch of his skin on hers makes them both suck in a breath. She can feel the tension in him against her back. He gets over his nerves faster after that. His hand glides down the length of her thigh, and his fingers curl under the fabric when it comes back up. Not all that far, but the intent is there.

In escalating boldness, she reaches for his metal hand, dragging it to rest at the top of her ribs. His nose comes brushing across her temple at that point, giving her an idea of how close he's keeping himself around her with her eyes closed. One of her hands goes up into his hair, and that's when things really go off the fucking rails.

His thumb moves in a wide arc, dragging across the underside of one of her breasts. Her fingers curl around his hair, and her head rolls in toward him. If she tilts it up, she could brush her nose against his; that's how far into her space he is. And then the hand on her thigh moves in.

The pounding music swallows up the slight sound it pulls from her, but she's willing to bet Bucky heard it. She leans back against him, making him freeze up momentarily. He's already moving again before her mind finally pieces together the why.

He's hard, Ava realizes.

With one hand under her tits and the other getting itself further between her thighs. With her ass pressed back against him. With his towering frame curled all the way around her.

Sergeant James Barnes is hard as a rock. For her.

—

How the hell he hasn't gotten his good arm ripped off yet, Bucky's not quite sure. It feels impossible that she's just... letting him do this. 

Spinning her around really fucked him over. He had been behaving pretty well up until then. He'd even managed to hold off on putting his hand as far down her back as that fucking dress allows for. But then he'd been dumb enough to turn her, and her head had relaxed off to the side, and god, it took every ounce of restraint he has not to kiss the length of her neck.

Now she's leaning back against him, fully aware of how wound up he is, and he can't figure out where to stop. She isn't slowing down any part of his stumbling. There's no new tension in her now that she's in the know about the current state of his cock. Her hips are still fucking moving, and now they're moving against him.

She's going to kill him tonight, probably right out here on this dancefloor. He just hasn't figured out if it's going to be murder or manslaughter.

He lets his left hand get bolder, trying to test the waters one last time before he lets his right one go any further. He moves it up, his thumb brushing over her nipple. He hears her pull in a shaking breath while it skims back down the side. She doesn't stop him, making him want to bite at her neck all over again. 

With no signs of her looking for an out, and not one shred of critical thinking or self-control left in his head, Bucky slides his hand further up the inside of her thigh. Her fingers tighten in his hair, nearly pulling on it at this point. All he has to do is hike up his thumb, and he'll get more information than he's probably ready to have. She could tell him to drop to his knees right here; he's mildly certain he'd do it. 

That dress is so goddamn thin. There's no weight to it at all. He can't spot the outline of anything, but he knows from how high her tits are sitting that she's got a bra on, at least. Another inch or two up with his thumb, and he'll be able to tell for himself if she came out tonight with underwear on. He's not entirely out of the goddamn loop; he knows skipping it is a much more common practice nowadays. 

Bucky's almost hoping his favorite hippie is the type. He's spent a lot of time fantasizing about ways to get her out of them. That doesn't mean he's not going to fucking lose it if his fingers don't find a strip of fabric between her legs. 

The flash of a new fantasy hits him, one of Ava letting him pin her to the alley wall out back with his head between her legs. If he takes her around the corner, he won't have to stop when the kitchen staff come out for a smoke break. If she does have underwear on, he can leave it in her mouth to keep her quiet. Or reach up to make her bite down on his fingers. With the serum and her height, it'd work like a dream.

The curiosity becomes a burning need, driving his hand all the way up. When he first touches her, it's not with his thumb, and it's not a gentle brush. He pushes his middle and index finger along the length of her lips, coming into contact with lace that's wet.

"Fuck." The word is choked when it tumbles out of him. He's coated his hand to the thought of her so many times over by now. And here she is, pushing herself up against him and just as worked up about it.

Her hand grips his arm tight enough to bruise in reaction. She doesn't push him away. God fucking help him, she doesn't stop moving either. Still, there's something about her body language that's not sitting right in his gut. She's not pushing him away. But she's not pulling him along anymore.

That's not always a stop sign. Bucky knows that. Some people like leaving the significant steps in the hands of their chosen partner. She's silently urged him to keep going a few times already. Assuming she wants that to continue isn't out of the question. But he's not the kind of man who's comfortable with that leap. Not anymore.

He moves his hand down an inch, leaving it between her legs. Not on top of the lace he wants to bite at. If she's interested, she'll put it back. Simple as that.

Bucky waits, holding her close with his metal arm around her ribs and his nose pressed into her hair while they dance. She's hesitating now, which has him convinced he made the right call. He's not self-wallowing enough to take it as a rejection. It's not like he'd been planning for this to go anywhere near as far as it did to begin with.

Her hand pulls at his hair in a way that feels conflicted. She tilts her head up, her eyes finally opening to look at him. Yeah, there it is. Right there in her eyes. It's finally catching up to her.

"I..." she tries, her mouth opening and closing a few times. "We can...."

"We can keep going," he finishes for her, not backing off from his hold on her. "We absolutely can. Or we can head to the bar and watch them make something with a cherry on it. I'm more than comfortable with both."

He watches her chew over the offered out, her eyebrows pulling in. He doesn't push her; he's not looking to make the call for her. If she wants him to get her off right here on this dancefloor, he's pretty damn sure he'd be willing at this point, even with the threat of criminal charges. He's also ready to let go and spend the rest of the night doing something that doesn't make her look torn. Even if it means ending it early.

"We should probably go to the bar." Probably. She doesn't sound happy about it, meaning it's fueled by her professionalism. He understands why she has the line. He respects the shit out of it.

"We probably should," he agrees. He doesn't move his hands. She hasn't moved hers. 

Her eyes move down to his mouth, and fuck does that do a number on his impulse control. He hopes she doesn't feel how it makes his cock jump. Ava Ryder wants to kiss him. It feels odd to celebrate that, considering where his fingers were a minute ago, but fuck. The girl of his dreams wants to kiss him.

"Let's go to the bar." The frustration in her voice almost makes him laugh. It definitely makes him smile as he turns his metal hand over to link with hers.

"You drink anything other than ale, doll?" He lets his fingers brush over the skin of her thigh reassuringly as he pulls it back out from under her dress. She looks so mad at the world, her face scrunching under her glasses. He wants to kiss her more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

Ava takes a deep breath that she lets out with a huff. It looks like it cools off some of the annoyance. "My answer depends on how much of a narc you are, g-man."

He puts his arm around her shoulder, dragging her in close to his side. His friends will hand him his ass over this for a month, but he's not about to let her feel rejected. He's trying to respect a boundary, not ward her off. "Lucky for you, this g-man has medical strains growing in his room at the tower."

"There's no fucking way. You're telling me the Winter Soldier grows weed?"

"Are you tellin' me you buy yours? Chump."

She snorts hard enough to feel the need to cover her mouth. It makes Bucky feel damn good being able to make her laugh again that fast. "I can't believe I'm being ridiculed about the source of my pot by a senior citizen."

He holds back on reminding her that she was about to let a senior citizen stick his hand down her panties. "Has it convinced you to give up the inaccurate jokes about my job?"

"Inaccurate, he says! Don't you have a literal badge you can shove in people's faces?" Ava doesn't lean against the bar when they reach it. She stays pressed up against him while he leans on it, distracting the hell out of him. He looks down the line of people, searching for a bartender to give himself a second to refocus. "I think that's a pretty clear-cut definition of a fed."

"I think you're trying to find out if I've got a pair of cuffs handy." This is the other problem presented with her letting him go that far; it burned through what little filter he has. Now that he knows she's interested and not just humoring him, he's fucked. Hearing his own words still makes him wish he'd shut his damn mouth.

He hears her laugh in surprise again, but he's not brave enough to look at her yet. There's a momentary lull filled with the sounds of rowdy New Yorkers kicking off their weekend. Then he feels her head lean against his arm. "Something tells me you could improvise without them."

It's manslaughter. She's trying for manslaughter. By god, she's going to accomplish it if she says some shit like that again.

"I can improvise whenever you need me to." He finally looks back at her, catching her ogling his chest. Again. Her cheeks are a few shades darker. It's good to know he's not the only one reeling. "You should answer my question first, though. Unless you're looking to put in the order."

Her eyes finally flick up to his, and her smile turns shy before she looks away. "Surprise me. I burn more than drown. I'm sure you can think of a fun option to entertain me with."

Bucky should have guessed she'd give him a run for every cent he earned back when he still had his mojo. It feels like he's trying not to trip over himself while she's still getting warmed up. "One entertainment, comin' right up."

She gives him a look, doing a lousy job of holding back her amusement. "You don't get to complain about my puns if you're going to tell dad jokes like that."

"You're just jealous that mine are better." He finally flags down a bartender over her shoulder, throwing out an order for two Mai Tais. The only other cocktail he can think of off the top of his head is a Sex on the Beach, and he sure as shit doesn't have the balls to order that in front of her at the moment. A Moscow Mule is not a cocktail in his eyes. It's also not the kind of inappropriate he's looking for.

Ava's finger hooks into his front pocket, threatening to ruin every effort he's made toward getting his cock to calm the fuck down. "Some of your jokes are pretty great; I'll give you that. The dry ones make my day."

It feels backwards—and mildly alarming—to hesitate to brush her hair behind her ear for a moment. A few minutes ago, he'd been ready to go down on her in front of a room full of people. Now he's trying to find the nerve to touch her at all. Doing so gets easier when her eyes slip closed at the feeling of his fingertip moving down the side of her head. 

"Seeing you makes my day," he murmurs, not caring about letting his mouth run. It feels less intimidating in the wake of her compliment. God knows it's going to sit in his head. Probably forever. The fact that she probably can't hear it over the music certainly doesn't hurt.

Her eyes open back up slowly, with her smile taking on a wicked edge. "You feel like showing me your stash, old man?"

—

They haven't talked about it.

It's been less than an hour since they stopped dancing. In under sixty minutes, Bucky managed to get them a drink and all the way through Manhattan to the Avengers Tower. On a Friday, no less.

No wonder they threaten to revoke his license. Ava thought she was a speed freak behind the wheel. Now that she's got firsthand experience as his rear passenger, Bucky being allowed to have a motorcycle makes her question SHIELD more than ever.

He let her go up to the roof without him. He made it sound like he was doing her a favor by not making her go out of her way just to raid his stash with him. She's guessing it's got more to do with not being down for a surprise tour of his space. It's not as if she's going to fault him for it. 

The idea that she's actually going to let him fly her home after this is already hitting her nerves. If that's throwing her off, she has no clue where she's going to find the will to bring up the subject of—this. Tonight. What happened.

How far she was about to let it go.

He smells too good. She's decided to blame it on that, at least in her head. Mainly to make herself feel better about crossing that many ethical boundaries. It's easier than accepting that she was about to give a patient the go-ahead to finger her in the middle of a bar. Without so much as a word about it beforehand.

Ava pushes her hands under her glasses to hold her face, resisting the urge to scrub at it. She doesn't want to fuck up her makeup. Not while she still has to face Bucky. How stupid—and then she doubled down—god, now they're here, and he's getting weed—

"I was starting to think I'd never get you up here, doll."

The way his voice quells her anxious mind without any effort at all ties her stomach in a different kind of knot. She lowers her hands into her lap, giving him a half-smile. "I'd like to remind you that I'm the one who offered initially. And again tonight."

Bucky waves his free hand dismissively, his flesh one cradling a bag. "Semantics." He dumps it onto the wicker table she picked out herself. She hears glass hit metal, the sound muffled by the black cloth of the bag. "I didn't know if you were a bowl or a joint kinda gal. Figured I'd come prepared since I'm dealing with a degenerate commie."

"Steve was right about your manners," Ava insists, reaching out to open it with greedy fingers. She kicks her heels off under the table, getting distracted by the sight of him shaking his leather jacket off his shoulders. The man's tall enough to have to duck under the makeshift canopy built to account for Wyatt's height. "Tell me how many words you know for pot while I judge your choices."

"Are you forgetting they took me out for walks every few years?" Bucky walks around to her side and puts his jacket over her shoulders, surprising her. She looks up at him with a shy smile, momentarily forgetting the promise of weed picked out by a super soldier. He's such a gentleman that it's frankly obnoxious. One of his eyebrows raises at her. "Those walks included the 60s, young lady. I probably know more than you do."

"What do you remember about the 60s?" she goads as he sits down next to her.

"Plenty." Bucky props his arm up on the back of the couch, leaning into her space. She's grateful for it. Even with his jacket around her, it's freezing up here. The added warmth isn't the only reason she's grateful for it. "Personally, though, I think you would have had a better time in the 70s." He tilts his head back and forth a few times. "At least the parts of it I fucked around in."

The mental image of the Winter Soldier undercover in some sleazy disco hits her like a ton of bricks. It feels wildly inappropriate, even with him talking about it that openly. All the fantasies she has of Bucky do. Especially the ones she uses to get herself off lately. 

"I'm going to take your word for it," she murmurs. There's so much potential there to poke at him. He's offering up the bait on his end. Hell, there's still the list of weed names to dig for. But she can't get her mind to latch onto any of it with him this close.

He nudges his chin in the direction of her hands, which are still hovering in his little heap of paraphernalia. "You should start us up so I can get you home at a reasonable hour. I don't know how fast you like to—smoke."

It's astounding how good he is at riding the line between being a gentleman and a terror.

Ava looks back down at her hands with a smile. "That depends on the accuracy of your warning about this couch-locking me. Technically I'm off tomorrow, so I'm not about to say no."

"Do you smoke medicinal strains?"

"On occasion. I started for anxiety, oddly enough. Then I noticed it helped with my mood overall." She shrugs, setting aside his box of hemp papers. There's a heavy-looking grinder and two different pipes further in. One of them's a goddamn steamroller. He sticks with quality from what she can see so far. "I feel like there's a bong that was held back from this collection."

"There's a lot that was held back. I'm not gonna parade all my ill-gotten goods through the tower." His pauses while she gets the last of it emptied out." You gonna show me how it's done or put me to the test?"

"Definitely the latter." She turns her head to smile at him innocently, pushing her glasses up her nose. It makes his lips twitch. "I don't see anything to assist rolling. Does that mean you're confident enough to show me your handiwork?"

Bucky scoffs, his expression becoming entirely unimpressed. He almost looks offended, leaning over to grab the papers and the grinder. "You're telling me you people need tools these days? After all the work I put into teaching Captain America how to do it properly?"

Ava's brows shoot up in shock. "You're fucking kidding. I figured the weed was a new development—"

"Nah, I've been smoking since my first job." He's not watching his hands much as he lays out the foundation of his work. He's primarily watching her. "Worked for a guy that owed a corner store. He had family that ran a not-so-secret farm." He turns the grinder lid enough to loosen it, then flicks it to spin it the rest of the way off with a cocky grin. "I was an outstanding employee. So was Steve once I got him hired."

"America's Sweetest Stoners," Ava coos, making him chuckle. He's not stingy about what he's rolling for them. It makes her wonder how many plants he's got set up. "Do the two of you still smoke together?"

"He doesn't bother much. Takes a lot to build up any kind of buzz with our systems, so he looks at it the same way he does drinking at this point. He still shows up whenever Banner drops off some new hybrid monstrosity for me to try." Bucky glances over at her quickly, his fingers never stopping their work. "This is from one of the normal plants, don't worry. I won't start you off that far in the deep end."

Ava shrugs. Banner's main lab is here in the tower, so there's no chance the process isn't documented. JARVIS wouldn't let her use anything that could do her actual harm. "You can if you want, but you're responsible for explaining to Tony why I'm passed out on his roof."

He gives her the most insulted look. "I wouldn't leave you up on the roof. I'd be enough of a gentleman to carry you inside."

He's ruining her life. There's no way she's going to be able to walk away from tonight without being completely wrapped around his finger. It makes her smile at him like a hopeless fucking moron. "I believe you."

Bucky brings the most well-balanced joint she's ever seen up to his mouth, licking it closed in one smooth stroke. His eyes never leave hers. It makes her swallow. The fucker smirks at her and twirls the joint between his fingers, holding it out for her inspection.

"Well?" he prompts, watching her intently as she plucks it from his hand. He's preening. Waiting for his praise.

Goddamn him, she's going to have to give it to him. The joint is so perfectly rolled it's mesmerizing. Even distribution, not pulled overly tight, and meticulously sealed. She can't remember the last time she managed to do a job half that good. Bowls have always been her go-to. It's clear that this is his.

Ava giggles at the absurdity of it all. It feels surreal to be a step away from lighting up with a cyborg PoW she first read about in primary school. "You're such a dork. Shut up and hand over the lighter before your head explodes from being over-inflated."

"Now I know I did a damn good job by today's standards." For the second time that night, she gets the overwhelming urge to kiss Bucky as he reaches for the lighter. She props the joint between her lips to distract herself and lets him light it for her when he silently offers. The flame does stunning things to the color of his eyes in the dark. "You only tell me to shut up when you're really impressed with me."

She doesn't miss that he waited until she started inhaling to make the point. It makes her roll her eyes in exasperation. Ava can tell from the first drag that his shit is going to hit harder than her usual. She turns her head to blow it away from his face, handing back the joint. He tucks it between his fingers and brings it up to his mouth in one smooth motion.

"Now look who's outright lying. I tell you to shut up for various reasons." The muscles in his neck look unfairly good when he turns to exhale. It makes her want to run her tongue up his throat. She looks back up at his face. Everything below his chin is hazardous to her health at the moment. "I don't remember any of them being because I was impressed until now."

His eyes flick back to hers, then down to her mouth as he smiles. His hand was up her dress. It was between her legs only an hour ago. And yet watching him stare at her mouth still feels obscene. "You've got a real funny way of stroking my ego, doll."

"I get the feeling you enjoy it," Ava counters, snatching the joint from his fingers. "I wouldn't do it otherwise. You're always welcome to suggest an alternative."

"No, thanks. I'm a pretty big fan of what you do to me." 

Damn. Him.

Yes, the question was a check-in. Yes, she was trying to get a read on how far he wants this to go. Then he had to go and double down without hesitation. She knows by now what door he's trying to invite her through. 

Ava is so not brave enough for this conversation. It's not—it's complicated. She really shouldn't be working on his case if they're going to go down this road, at least not as his primary surgeon. She'll have to pass it on to Hannah and have a few very embarrassing conversations with a handful of people. Ones that involve fessing up to wanting to fuck Bucky Barnes.

She's not saying no. But she's not brave enough to say yes. At least not tonight, up here on the roof.

Ava leans back against the couch, feeling his arm curl in around her shoulders. "Good. Let me know if that changes."

—

u dont get to yell at me for the edging, i warned u that im gonna leave an * on smut chapters. anything less than Full Fuckin aint gettin the badge 😤 i have a Standard to uphold in this house of sin

(tho if anyone feels there shoulda been a warning tag for smthing you can always lemme know bb 💞)

also ill never be able to properly articulate how much i love writing cranky old fart bucko. heartstopper is stupid fun, feral trauma man keeps me on my toes, but stick-shaking geezer mode??? mr. “kids these days with their MEMES” himself??? beautiful. fantastic. superb. his final form, truly 🤌 i yearn to write more of it

anyways there are writers on the internet that can make their slow burn wholesome. in all my years on this space rock of ours, ive never been one of them

even if i do write the longfic of the sunshine dweebs steve and paige, that probably wont be all that wholesome of a slow burn either ajdhdskjfdjsjf. they ARE my tooth rotting fluff ship tho. mmm okay so maybe paige is a tragedy in disguise but its ME so thats expected 😌 the babes that like their romance extra sappy and cutesy take a lotta shit and deserve a Safe Space and steve rogers fits that bill, imho

bucky is for the babes that like to verbally get their hair pulled before hearing ily 🥰

the good news is, i get a few more chapters in this fic to torture you with before i let bucko and ava do the Big Sin (not murder, the other one. no, not hand holding, the other other one) 😌💖💞

also PieAnnamay's comment reminded me that i never linked my fav buckaroo fic, safe with me!!! for anyone else that hasnt stumbled upon bitsandbobsandstuff, i cant recommend them enough. i HIGHLY encourage you to go read through all their works while you’re waiting for updates on this, the bucky and steve fics are 😫🤌 perfection (i promise when i finally have a day to really do tumblr stuff, ill make a list of my fav fics/writers in my pinned post. i promise i will try to get to it Soon, i still havent even caught up on chapter posts there asldhfsadf)

❤️ https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798047/chapters/31721565