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moonlight-breeze-44 · 4 years

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Jalec Secret Santa for @finditagain24

Hi, Lau! You mentioned that you liked angst with a happy ending, canon development, pining, and longing so I thought you might like this little thing <3 I hope that you do, and happy holidays!!

watch the sunset in your eyes

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When Jace first came to the New York Institute to live with the Lightwoods, Alec regarded him as another Isabelle; a charge, someone for him to protect, despite the fact that Jace proved on his very first day that he was more than capable of protecting himself.

It didn’t matter to Alec; Jace reminded him of himself, in ways that made Alec want to rip off the cocky mask Jace always wore and meet the broken boy underneath. Jace was something, a new kind of challenge that Alec had never met before - utterly broken and flawed, but in that kind of beautiful way that Alec liked to lose himself in.

Years passed, and before long, Jace & Alec were in battle together, fighting side-by-side. They worked so well together, so steadily, that Alec thought he might have known even before Maryse cornered him in his room and told him the political benefits of having a parabatai like Jace Wayland. The truth was, Alec and Jace were already connected; the parabatai bond would only symbolize what was already there.

But Alec would’ve had to be blind not to notice the way that Jace’s eyes shone in the light, or how he managed to look a little like a lost puppy when his straw-blonde hair fell over his eyes, or the fact that his smirk after he’d killed a demon made Alec’s heart skip a beat. Alec noticed, and he knew - of course he knew.

Alec also knew that Jace didn’t share his feelings or his thoughts about the possibility of being bonded; he was all too happy, excited, and practically giddy at the idea of having a parabatai. Alec knew there was no way Jace was having the same internal crisis that he was, and he hoped to the Angel that the other boy wasn’t aware of it.

That fear of awareness was another thing that scared Alec - being parabatai would mean that he and Jace would be deeply connected on an emotional and physical level, and Alec wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that meant. Being gay wasn’t heard of in the Clave, and those that were guarded that secret so fiercely that it was rare for anyone to ever find out. Alec knew enough about Clave politics by the time he was thirteen to be afraid of Jace’s reaction, if he were to find out Alec’s secret.

Alec laid in his bed well after midnight that first day, when it was first announced that he and Jace would make a good parabatai pair, his hands clenched together tightly. He couldn’t sleep. It was starting to seem like he could never sleep these days. Jace slept on the other side of him, his blonde hair a golden halo on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, so unlike the brash warrior Alec knew in daylight. Alec swallowed hard. He looked like an angel. He looked like an angel, and Alec felt like a demon.

~ ~ ~

In the end, Alec knew he had to become parabatai with Jace, regardless of his own feelings. His mother would disown him if he backed out of the ceremony, and he couldn’t bear to disappoint Jace when he looked at Alec like he’d hung the stars in the sky.

Alec felt like he was going to throw up when they stepped into the ring of fire, but the look that Izzy gave him, so complicated and supportive and full of love, made him grit his teeth and lift his chin to meet his future parabatai’s eyes. He could do this. For his mother, for Izzy, for Jace. He could do this.

When Jace grabbed Alec’s arm, it sent a wave of heat through Alec and made his head swim. He swallowed hard. He had to do this.

The words, when they left Alec’s lips, felt oddly right, oddly comforting in some way. He’d thought they would taste bitter, like acid, but they fell from Alec’s mouth with the ease of his baby sister’s name.

“For whither thou goest, I will go. And where thou lodgest, I will lodge.”

Jace’s voice soothed the frayed edges of Alec’s nerves, and he found himself wishing the fire wasn’t quite so bright. He wanted to be able to look at Jace, really look, memorise the lines of his cheekbones and the soft suns in his eyes.

“The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

The overlap of their voices made Alec want to cry, made him want to reach for Jace and never let go, but instead, he reached forward and drew the parabatai rune on Jace. When he felt the matching burn on his own hip, he had to bite his lip so hard that it drew blood to stave off the tears that threatened to fall.

There was no going back now.

~ ~ ~

The main difference between Jace and Alec, in behaviour and in personality, was that Jace wasn’t afraid to take what he wanted. In that respect, he was practically fearless. And Alec knew that Jace had fears, but they were things whispered under the cover of darkness to him and him alone. Jace’s fears were rooted deep in his childhood, and they would have taken years for anyone else to uncover. Alec knew he was the only person to ever hear them, maybe the only person who ever would.

When it came to romance, however, Jace was fearless. He was so fearless that it took Alec’s breath away and made his heart stutter a step.

Alec wasn’t blind, but when it came to Jace, he tended to view the world through glasses tinted with self-loathing. He could feel Jace’s desire sometimes, knew that the other boy wanted something, but he had never considered that it might be him that Jace wanted.

They had been parabatai for nearly a year before Jace grew tired of waiting for Alec to realise what was happening, and made his intentions very, very clear.

“What is it?” Alec asked, entering the training room and letting the door fall shut behind him. “You said you needed to talk to me?”

Jace grinned, sharp like a cat that knew it was getting what it wanted. “Well, maybe talking wasn’t the best word to use.”

With that, Jace strode forward and slammed his lips to Alec’s, punching the breath from his parabatai and sending his heart into a spiral Alec knew it would never recover from.

Jace’s lips on his, in fact, were making Alec think he would never recover from Jace, period.

He’d dreamed about this moment for ages, and yet, the real thing blew past even the most insane of Alec’s fantasies. The feeling of Jace’s lips on his, of Jace surrounding him and pressing close to him and guarding him like he was something to be loved, something to be protected, made Alec dizzy. His hands found Jace’s hair, tugging at the golden blonde strands like they could somehow meld their bodies even closer together. Alec sighed against Jace’s lips and felt Jace respond in kind.

Halfway through their kiss, it hit Alec that he was kissing Jace, and he felt his knees begin to buckle. Jace, almost as if he’d expected this, backed Alec up against a wall and wrapped his arms around his parabatai’s waist, keeping him upright. Alec felt tears pool in his eyes. It shouldn’t be like this. He should be the one taking care of Jace, not the other way around. But he couldn’t deny that, after so long of taking care of other people, it felt good to be taken care of.

When finally they pulled apart, gasping for air, Jace’s eyes were bright, and the grin on his face was something softer than Alec was used to seeing on him. He smiled, too, almost shyly. This was new territory for him. He’d wanted, he’d dreamed, he’d even wished, but he had never thought that Jace would love him back, that Jace would feel for him what Alec felt for Jace. It almost felt like a miracle, like a gift from Raziel even though Alec knew he didn’t deserve it.

“Stop,” Jace whispered, pressing his forehead to Alec’s. “I can hear you thinking. Stop it.”

“Sorry,” Alec muttered, his cheeks flaming pink.

Jace shook his head, smiling a little. “You don’t have to apologise. I just don’t want you to overthink this like you do everything else.”

Alec opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jace raised an eyebrow at him, and the unspoken ‘You know I’m right’ was enough to make him close it again.

“You know this is forbidden, right?” Alec mumbled, avoiding Jace’s eyes. “We’re not, we’re not...we’re never supposed to do this. It’s against the Law.”

“Rules are meant to be broken,” Jace replied, grinning, and Alec sucked in a deep breath, frustrated. Jace could act like this meant nothing all he wanted, but Alec knew what they were risking.

“If anyone finds out - ”

“They won’t,” Jace reassured him, and his voice had lost some of its flippantness. Alec was still unconvinced. The Clave would consider them traitors if they were found to be in a relationship with each other. They could be de-runed. They could lose everything that they had ever loved, and all for what might be a quick fuck to Jace.

“You’re not,” Jace growled, and Alec flushed. He hadn’t realised he had spoken out loud.

“Alec, look at me,” Jace demanded, and Alec lifted his eyes to meet the other boy’s. As always, the golden orbs made his breath catch in his throat, but this time, there was more. It was like peering into a looking glass - the same feelings that Alec harbored for Jace were reflected back in Jace’s eyes.

“You’re my parabatai,” Jace said, and his fingers found Alec’s, tangling together in the space between their bodies. “You could never be just, just a fling to me, Alec.” There were tears in his eyes now, and he looked so hurt that Alec wanted to take all of his words and stuff them back into his mouth until he could erase that look from Jace’s face. “You mean so much more than that.”

“I feel the same way,” Alec said, exhaling with relief. “I just...are you sure you want to do this?”

Jace ducked his head and pressed another kiss to Alec’s lips. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

The tears from before spilled over, and Alec bit his lip, trying to stem the flow. Jace made a small, wounded sound in the back of his throat and pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s temple, wiping away his tears with the pad of his thumb. Alec choked on a sob, sagging forward into Jace’s arms. Jace caught him easily, holding his parabatai close. Alec couldn’t be sure, but he thought Jace was crying, too.

When Alec went to bed that night, it was with the scent of Jace on his clothes, the taste of Jace on his lips, and a smile on his face - for the first time in a very, very long time.

#jalecsecretsanta #shadowhunters #jalec #my writing #my fanfiction #jalecsecretsanta2020 #alec lightwood #jace wayland

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morgemuffel · 5 years

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MALEC. ➰ PROS & CONS TO MARRY YOU. (STAY WITH ME)

This story takes place between episode 3Bx16 & 3B17. Why does Alec suddenly thinks about getting married?

-> Alec creates a pro and contra list about whether he should propose to magnus or if it is too early etc. He confronts himself with his thoughts and fears, which had never been expressed loudly before. *(Part 3 of my series: our heart beats like one)

My vision is blurred and everything around me happens like in slow motion. I'm standing there like a fool and don't have the strength to move. My heart contracts as if it were crushed in someone's fist. The air is thin and Izzy had called Catarina Loss to help, when she heard my cries for help. I'm so mad at myself. "Magnus, Magnus, can you here me?" is the only thing I can say. Why didn't I see it coming? I'm still standing there as if rooted to the ground, too shocked to do anything meaningful. "Please, I'm right here" I continue talking, in the hope that he at least hears my voice. I had given Magnus a heart rhythm massage until Cat finally arrived after a felt eternity. Cat now kneels next to Magnus on the floor and holds her hands over his right clavicle and left chest muscle. Stand back" she commands. A blue cloud flows out of her palms, enveloping his lifeless body, and once again an electric shock of several thousand volts shot through his chest area to reactivate his heartbeat. "Come on, Magnus. Hang in there" Catarina screamed in panic as still nothing happened. "Catarina is he going to be all right?" I ask anxiously. Another electric shock. But Magnus, whose body had just shrugged like wild before, lay there now only calm and motionless. "I...I...Alec he's gone..." Cat sobs and looks at me in disbelief. I see the tears rolling over her blue face. I know that she has done everything in her power, because she doesn't even have the strength to maintain her glamour. I feel pure fear crawling up inside of me. No. No he can't be dead, he simply just can't be dead! I don't know how, but somehow my body starts moving again and I stumble uncoordinated and fall on the floor next to Magnus. Stay with me is the only thought that constantly wanders through my head and throbs like my own heartbeat in my head. I form my right hand into a ball and place the left hand over it to start another heart rhythm massage. I feel Cat's pitiful look on me, but she says nothing. I won't give up on him. Press twice per second, I know how it works, every shadowhunter knows the required frequency, but the longer I press the more the fear is taking over me and the more irregular my rhythm becomes. I repeat: "stay with me Magnus" to the beat of my pressure movement. I can't lose you, I just can't. "Stay with me Magnus" I taste something salty wet in my mouth and realize that it is my tears that flow over my face and is taking my sight. But I can't wipe them away. I don't have time to release my hands from Magnus. "Stay with me Magnus! I don't have to see anything to know that I can't stop, that I won't stop. "Stay with me Magnus!" I drift off and my body... Oh God as if I were in free fall... No. No. No. The darkness surrounds me and I am lost in nothing. My thoughts echo through the dark void. Our hearts beat like one and if his stop beating, mine dies with him. Magnus is dead.

Alec opens his eyes disorientated, he is bathed in sweat and his heart races as fast as it threatens to jump out of his chest. He looks around in fear and searched for Magnus. He is alive, it was all just a nightmare! At least the part about his death. Alec's subconscious had probably played a trick on him with his greatest fear. The fear of losing Magnus. How could this happen? Why had he not noticed the signs? Or had he noticed them and simply ignored them...? Alec is sitting on a very uncomfortable plastic chair, in the New York Institute in the Medic department, watching Magnus. His chest lifts and lowers gently to the beeping sound of the ECG device. His breathing is flat and slow but he is breathing. It is so unusual to see him uncombed and without make-up. In the blue coat he seemed almost inconspicuous and very vulnerable. Alec has been sitting on this chair for hours, he must have fallen asleep, he thinks, rubbing the palms of his hands against his face. He closes his eyes and the pictures reappear before his inner eye. With a shake of his head he tries to shake the pictures away. Yes, it was close but they had made it and Cat had set up everything right here to watch Magnus non-stop. A cold shiver ran down Alec's back as he tried to interpret his dream, it had felt so real. And he believed he knew what the message was behind it. He had to apologize to Magnus. Alec had a guilty conscience because he should have known how tortured his boyfriend really was.

Alec interlaced his fingers and began to speak slowly: "Magnus, I... I don't know if you can here me. But this is my fault. I was selfish. When you first lost your powers and you said you were okay with it, I...I didn't think twice. I guess I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together." He took a break to breathe deeply. It was the first time he said it out loud. He was ashamed of that thought. He had asked himself several times whether he was a bad boyfriend because of that. He had talked to Underhill about this topic. But to say it out loud, to hear his voice, brought him the knowledge and thus the answer to his question. It had hurt him when Magnus had accepted Lorenzo's magic without talking to him about it. But Magnus magic was a part of him and he didn't have the right to begrudge him that. And he knew one thing for sure. To see Magnus happy was the only thing that really mattered. Alec's heart got heavier at this thought and he started rubbing his thumb over his ankles nervously. He tended to exert so much pressure on that movement that it almost hurt. But the pain there eased the pain in his heart. He sniffed before continuing: "I guess I just didn't realize, how deep down, how much you were suffering. Magnus, I love you. He reached for Magnus' hand, near the tears and his voice was now full of despair: "More than anyone in the world and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He heard the sliding door open and quickly wiped away the one tear that had made it over his cheeks. "May I come in" Cat asked gently. "Yeah" Alec replied and stood up with a deep sigh to talk to Cat about Magnus' condition. "Did you manage to make contact with the people at the Spiral Labyrinth" he asked full of hope. She nodded, "yes, I shared the test results, an he agreed. Magnus' body is rejecting Lorenzo's magic. "Rejecting? What do you mean?" Alec asked and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Think of it like a failing organ transplant. Each time Magnus performs a spell it puts a tremendous strain on his body. He got lucky this time. He will regain consciousness . But if he uses magic again, even for something small, he might not survive," she explained to Alec in a haunting tone. "Why can't you just fix him? Why can't you just take Lorenzo's magic out?" Alec asks in surprise. "I wish I could. The only one who can reverse the transfer is the person who gave it to him" she explains. "Lorenzo did this on purpose," Alec hummed furiously. "Alec, there's no way he could have planned it. With magic transfusions, there's always this possibility." Cat tried to protect Lorenzo. But Alec disagreed. "No he knew how desperate Magnus was. He took advantage of him. I'm not gonna let this son of a bitch get away with it." he hissed upset and tried to squeeze past Cat. But Catarina grabbed him by the arm and held him tight when she said: "You need to settle down. What's the shadowhunter saying? - Emotions cloud judgment? - You loose your temper with Lorenzo, he'll have less incentive to help. Like it or not, Lorenzo Rey is Magnus only hope" she made clear to him.

On his way to Lorenzo's loft, Alec shook his head in disbelief. Had he really just thought that? He corrected the sentence in his mind. Magnus' Loft. He was on his way to Magnus' loft in Brooklyn that was stolen by this mucous guy Lorenzo Rey. Magnus hasn't woken up yet, so Alec had decided to ask Lorenzo to take back the magic he had given him. He was almost certain that this would also be Magnus' wish. Magnus' near death had shown Alec how precious time is. And he knew that he wanted to spend all his time also if only 10 years or even 60 years, with Magnus at his side. Nothing was more precious than the time with him. When Magnus agreed to his suggestion to move in together, Alec was the happiest person ever. There was only something that could make him happier. To make Magnus his forever. Put a ring on his finger and call him his husband. There were many reasons for this, but he also knew that there were some contras. He started to write a pro and contra list in his head:

PRO:

- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever

CONS:

- Magnus had just suffered some losses, his status symbol as High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken away from him and his loft, his home, was taken from him. These losses sparked a kind of identity crisis in him

I remember what it was like before Magnus. The time of uncertainty, fear and my own identity crisis. It was like my whole life was a lie, I was living a lie. It was before Jace, I had always known it. I'm not saying that I am different but in the eyes of others I am. All of us who don't fit into the over century formed norm are considered different. Growing up in a society that fears everything and everyone just because they don't understand it or know it differently and respond with hate is sad. The hate and fear that was directed against other races or against the preference of sexuality frightened me. I was afraid of this hate and took the safe side. The don't ask don't tell side of the shadowhunter culture. I preferred to be angry and unhappy than to deal with these feelings. On some days I feel ashamed not to have been brave enough before Magnus came into my life. To simply ignore the prejudices and discriminations and to stand by myself. But for shadowhunter - family, honour and tradition are written in capital letters. At least that's what they believe. And I certainly didn't want to be the first Shadowhunter in my family to destroy this supposed honor. Family is everything to me. Grown up in the institute under the enormous pressure of the council and my parents. I always did everything for my parents and for the council. My fater drilled in to me that I was never good enough. I always thought it was me, because they felt who I really was and wanted to suppress it. So I did the same and ignored my feelings. I was impure with myself and carried this anger inside me for years. I couldn't define exactly where it came from but I was always angry at everything and everyone. Not knowing who you are and not knowing where you belong is terrible. By the angel I'm so happy that I met Magnus.

"Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what's in your heart" he had told me back then. I thought I would never be allwed, or to even find somoen to marry out of love and the only thing I could hope for would be a solid partnership with a woman. But here I am, in a happy relationship with the man I love above everything else. I will do everything in my power to lead him back to his identity as he helped me. So pack up your hatred and discrimination. I alone decide how my life goes on.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, not that I would know." I hear Magnus' voice in my head.. We'll find out, my darling, we'll find out.

Alec circled the two reasons and tried to look at them from every angle. He was a man of tradition and honour and he always knew he wanted to get married one day. He just never would have thought that this wish could actually become reality with someone he loved with all his heart. But here he was and his boyfriend was Magnus Bane. He knew he would never love anyone as much as he loved Magnus. He also knew that a marriage is about being together for the rest of your life and that this same - a life long - was a different view for Magnus before. Magnus was no longer immortal and to ask for his hand now would painfully remind him of this loss. Alec wondered if it wouldn't be possible to ask Asmodeus to give Magnus back his real magic and thus his birthright, his immortality. What would be the price? For sure one that Alec can't pay at all. He sighed and began to walk faster. There was also the housing situation, he was at least able to fix. Cat had told him that Magnus had asked her for a real estate agent. But Magnus was in the infirmary and couldn't make it to that appointment today and Alec wouldn't leave his side for a house visit. The apartment could wait, but he was looking forward to starting this new phase of his life with Magnus. So it was 1 to 1 when he stood in front of the door of the loft and was about to knock, when it swung open and Mozart's symphony came towards him.

Lorenzo had already expected him, charming isn't? It's one of Mozart's lesser-known works, but certainly one of my favorites. You should have seen the look on Wolfgang's face when I told him what I really thought about his Mass in C minor," he bluffed to Alec. But Alec didn't have time for this small talk, they both knew that they would never be friends in this and possibly in any other life. "We need to talk" Alec said and tried to make his voice sound as calm and controlled as possible. "Hang on. This is the best part." He just wanted to provoke Alec, no they wouldn't even be friends in another dimension. Alec switched off the music to show him the urgency of his visit. "What can I do for you, Mr. Lightwood? he asks and takes a sip from his martini. "Magnus has fallen ill as a result of the magic you gave him" Alec told him. "I did warn your boyfriend of the risks involved. He assured me he could handle it" Lorenzo replied visibly unmoved. When he poured himself a second drink. "Well he can't. And I would appreciate if you would take the magic back." Alec said in a thoughtful tone. "Yes, I'm sure you would appreciate that. But he brought this upon himself. Not my fault the pompous old warlock falls by his own hubris." Lorenzo was amused by Magnus' pain and Alec knew that he had no intention of helping them. But why? "Why? Why do you hate him so much? he asked without understanding. "It's simple. All my life, I've had to sit by and watch while the world lavished praise on Magnus Bane. The prodigy. The High Warlock who could do no wrong." Lorenzo said bitterly. So that's it Alec thought, he was insecure and jealous. "Green isn't becoming on you, Lorenzo," he simply stated. "You have no idea how hard I've had to work for everything that I have" he hissed and put his glass down. Before he continued. "That man was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His celebrity is not based on talent. It's nepotism. Alec felt the rage crawling up in him and with each of Lorenzo's words it was harder to suppress them. "Lorenzo, you're right about one thing. Magnus is beloved. And when word gets out that you wouldn't help him, purely out of jealousy, how would you think the other warlocks are gonna feel?" Alec said as he walked up to Lorenzo to underline the threat in his voice. But Lorenzo remained unimpressed and said: "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" The fuse in Alec's head blew, how could this cockroach even dare. He would have loved to go for Lorenzo. "You bastard. I swear, I will..." But Lorenzo interrupted him annoyed. "You'll what? he asked unimpressed and shot Alec with a clenched load of his magic towards the exit. "I believe we're done here. You can show yourself out." Alec knew that his last visit by Lorenzo was also part of Lorenzo's rage against Magnus. Anger, anger didn't get him any further, he had to convince Lorenzo at all costs. Magnus' life was at stake and he would beg on his knees if he had to.

"You've never been in love, have you?" Alec asked desperately. Lorenzo must have loved someone at least once in all those years. Alec had to remind him. "I'm over 300 years old. Of course I have. More times than I care to admit" Lorenzo said cool. Alec saw his chance and slowly walked towards Lorenzo again. "Well, for me, it's only one. Magnus," he said and looked at Lorenzo as he went on. "He is my world. And if he dies..." Alec sobbed, who now found it hard to keep his feelings under control. He didn't care if Lorenzo saw him that way, saw him the Head of the New York Institute so vulnerable. He didn't care if he ridiculed himself and he didn't care that he just revealed his greatest weakness. Alec raised his hand to a defensive position when he said, "Look, Lorenzo, he's no threat to you. Okay? He doesn't have his powers." His eyes filled with water and a tear ran down his face as he begged Lorenzo. "Just please... Please help him"

Alec left the loft with Lorenzo's word to help Magnus. A cool breeze blew in his face and dried his last tears. The heated conversation had given him two more points on his imaginary list. To show oneself so vulnerable to someone and to reveal oneself. Showing oneself as one in front of two different worlds, a unity that nothing and nobody could destroy.

PRO:

- Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days

CONS:

- The Clave doesn't like to see Shadowhunters and Downworlders getting married. It's not forbidden, but since The Clave is mainly interested in making more shadowhunters, it's a bit frowned upon to marry a warlock or a vampire, because they can't have children.

Even though deep inside I always knew that I was gay, I had always imagined a family with children. I could have imagined them with Lydia too, even though the thought of having sex with her made me freak out a little. Lydia is great but still a woman. Maybe the Clave would agree to an adoption for a Shadowhunter or a Downworlder baby? The Mundane couples have to be married as far as I know if they want to adopt... Would an adopted child even like me? With Madzie it's always wonderful and children love Magnus anyway. But maybe Madzie was a exception. Well they'll like at least one of us. So the biggest problem would be the Clave. For whom I'm already a thorn in their eyes, the gay head of the New York Institute, who is in a relationship with a Downworlder. So what, fuck that point. I really hope that Magnus also wants children. I think he's born to be a dad. He has so much patience and love to give. He has travelled so many countries and lived through so many decades, he would certainly have great good night stories. Him and I as parents, who could teach our children love and tolerance. To pass on our views and values and to show the world that there is another way. That diffrent doesn't mean weird or wrong, but that the world view is outdated and wrong. And it's on us to start change that.

The Clave always had such weird rules. In the past, Alec wouldn't have noticed the inconsistencies. He obeyed orders blindly without questioning them. But now, why did they make rules they disapproved anyway? And have they ever thought that two same-sex shadowhunters and downworlder would want to get married? Because Alec didn't know if that was possible at all. But he knew something else, no matter how, he and Magnus would one day start a family together. Alec had never asked Magnus if he wanted to have children, but somehow it was a logical step, wasn't it? Or was Alec once again too far with his thoughts and wishes? He was walking past a playground and saw all the Mundane mothers playing with their toddlers. A dream he had dreamed so many times, before meeting Magnus. Changing his children's nappies, teaching them to walk and fight and attending their first shadowhunter rune ceremony. All those things, those kitschy things he had wished for were not graspable before Magnus, but now. Now he suddenly had the chance to make all his dreams become real, with the man of his dreams. And before any of this could come true, Magnus had to wake up. He increased his pace again because he wanted to be the first thing for Magnus to see when he opened his eyes.

Alec was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the institute again, his butt was slowly strating to hurt but he didn't care. He saw Magnus' eyelashes start to twitch. "Magnus, can you hear me" Alec asks. Magnus blinks and slowly opens his eyes. "There you are. Hey," Alec said pleased. Magnus is still a little confused and Alec gently turns his head with his two fingers in his direction. Magnus chuckles when he sees Alec. "There you are" Magnus repeats and pats gently and awkwardly Alec's cheeks. "Yeah" Alec replies smiling. "What happened?" Magnus asked, still slightly dazed. Alec tried to explain it to him as simple and gently as possible. "Oh, well you got very sick. But everything's gonna be okay." Magnus tried to sit up and Alec got up quickly to help him. Just hold on. Here, let me get that for you." Alec said lovingly. Magnus tried to play the whole situation down again when he joked: "Oh I could get used to this type of treatment. Oh but definitely not to this wardrobe." Alec realized that Magnus wasn't aware of how serious the whole thing was. "Right. Let me get you a change of clothes" he said and wanted to get going. "No, no need" Magnus said and raised his hand to use his magic. "No!" Alec screamed full of panic and healed Magnus' hand so that he couldn't use his magic. "Alexander, what..." Magnus began irritated as his gaze wandered to the door and he noticed Lorenzo. "What's he doing here?" he asked even more astonished. Alec took a deep breath to explain everything to Magnus: "Using Lorenzo's magic is what got you sick. Catarina says that if you use the magic again, even a little bit, it could go horribly wrong. The only way for you to get better is for Lorenzo to take the magic away." He looked away at Magnus and hoped to see an understanding for all this in his eyes but Magnus only replied: "Oh. No, Caterina's just being overly cautious. Trust me, I feel fine." Alec should have known it. Of course, Magnus wasn't aware of how narrowly he escaped death. He had to tell him everything. "No. can we just get a minute, please?" he said and looked at Lorenzo, who had only observed the whole situation pitifully. "No! I'm not getting rid of my magic. Magnus screamed angrily. Why was he so stubborn? Alec had to make him understand how dangerous it was to leave the magic in his body. He didn't want his nightmare to suddenly become reality.

Magnus got up angrily and went for his clothes himself, he stood demonstratively with his back to Alec. But Alec just stood quietly next to him and waited until he had dressed before telling him exactly what had happened. He wasn't sure if Magnus was just pretending he didn't realize how dangerous this magic was for him. "Magnus, you stopped breathing." Alec began. "Your heart stopped. I thought you were gone." Magnus's anger vanished slowly. He hadn't know it had been so bad. "I'm so sorry for scaring you. I was clearly adjusting to Lorenzo's magic and I must have overextended myself." He turned to Alec with a smile to show him he was serious: "I promise, I'll be more careful from now on," he said before returning his attention to his shirt. "It doesn't matter how careful you are. As long as you have Lorenzo's magic, you'll be living with an axe over your head" Alec contradicted. What was wrong with Magnus? "Oh, could you stop being so morbid?" Magnus said when he turned back to Alec. The two men clearly talked past each other. "Look, I know how important magic is to you, but is it really worth dying for it?" Alec tried again. But Magnus didn't answer. "Magnus, answer me." Alec asked again with insistence and full of fear of the answer. Magnus said "Maybe" without turning around and Alec was stunned. "How can you even say that? Alec asked. Magnus now looked at him again and Alec saw the anger, the self-hatred and the fear in his eyes when he said: "I'm nothing without my magic. "You fell in love with Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?

Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?" he asked in disbelief and disgust as he pointed to his body. Alec was slowly getting desperate, he had to convince Magnus that he loved him even without his magic. "Yes. Your powers were incredible, but that's not why I felt in love with you. I..I..fell in love with you because you're wise a..and you're generous and you're brave and you're incredible" Alec stammered. The feelings overcame him, why couldn't Magnus see it? Why didn't he see how unbelievable he was? Alec continued: "I just... When you walk into a room, there's a spark in you, magic or not, th..tha..that lights up everything and everyone around you. "A..aaa..and... Hey!" he grabbed Magnus by the arm who was about to turn away. Alec didn't know what to say anymore. He only knew one thing he couldn't live without Magnus! When Magnus looked at him again Alec said desperately the last thing he still knew: "I won't lose you. I can't." The room was tense and they just looked at each other. And finally Alec saw it in Magnus' eyes. He got through to Magnus.

When Lorenzo left the room after the withdrawal of the magic, of course not without clarifying that he would keep the loft. Alec noted down his last two pros and cons.

PRO:

- I love him

CONS:

- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic

The last two reasons he noted down were the ones that weighed most heavily on him. So he sorted the list in his head again and prioritized these last two reasons. He loved Magnus more than anything else there was no doubt. But Magnus wasn't sure if he could live on without his magic or if he wanted to. Alec hears the echo of his words in his head, again and again: "I am nothing without my magic."

Yet I don't understand it. I thought I understood it, how dependent Magnus is on his magic. That I understand his pain. But I'm not a warlock and no matter how hard I try I will never fully understand what Magnus is going through. I keep trying to compare it with the Parabatai bond of me and Jace. If Jace died in a fight, I would feel incomplete and like a stanger a nobody without this bond. A part of me would die and be lost forever. And yet I would never prefer my own death than a life with Magnus. At least I hoped that this thought was true.

This thought ignited the little hope he needed. The hope that Magnus didn't mean it as seriously as he had said it before. That deep down inside his love for Alec was stronger. So it was 3 to 3, equal. No matter how often he went through the list he came to a single decision.

PRO:

- I love him

- It was a promise for eternity, a promise to be at his side forever

Start a family, after all, there are many other options these days

CONS:

- Magnus would rather die than live without his magic

It didn't matter what was on the contra side of his list, as long as his love for Magnus was at the top of the pro side. He loved Magnus and that outdid all other reasons."I have everything I need, right here." Magnus had said it aptly. And this one reason was the most important one. And therefore he, Alexander Gideon Lightwood would ask Magnus Bane to marry him.

Alec looked through the window of the small library his mother had bought and took a deep breath. On the way there two pros and contras came to his mind. He didn't put them on the list because his decision had already been made but they were still haunting around in his head.

PRO:

- He'd have my last name, Magnus Lightwood-Bane

CONS:

- He could say no, and I would completely embarrass myself

I think everyone is a bit afraid of this scenario when planning a proposal. Even though I know that Magnus loves me, there is a risk that he will reject my proposal. It could be one of my reasons on the contra column or a completely different one and I think I wouldn't only be sad but it would also be really embarrassing for me. Embarrassing because I'm so impatient, but who doesn't dare doesn't win. And therefore I won't initiate everybody in what I intend to do and try to plan the whole thing in a small scale if not even alone. Hiding it from Jace will probably be the hardest, as he will feel my nervousness for sure, so if he asks me I'll just tell him. Maybe for once he even has a good tip for me. Or could tell me if Alec Bane sounds silly?

Alec opens the door and enters the book store. "Hi" he said and walks to greet his mother. Maryse turns to him and smiles as she greets him: "Alec. What a nice surprise! The two embrace and Alec looks around as he says, "I thought I'd actually stop by and see the place." "Im proud of you." Most of the shelves were already dusty and the books had been rearranged. "Thanks. It's really coming together, isn't it? Maryse said radiantly. Alec was a bit nervous and answered with a question. "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." he burst out. Maryse looked at him uncertainly and tried to interpret his face. "What is it?" she asked, worried. The two sat down when Alec began to tell her: "Uhm..Magnus had a little health scare." Maryse was shocked but Alec spoke quickly. "He's okay, everything's fine, but when it happened, it made me realize how much he means to me, and I.. I.. can't live without him." This sentence made his mother overjoyed. She was so happy that her son found someone who loved him heart and soul just as much as he loved him. What could make a mother happier? "That's what love is" she said with a smile. Alec chuckles. "I'm so happy you two found each other." she said. "Me too." Alec said sheepishly. The question burned on his tongue as he slowly began.

"And I need the family ring." he said and looked at her insistently. Maryse stared back not sure if her son really intended what she was thinking he was intended to say. "I'm gonna ask Magnus to marry me." Alec said after a break and Maryse chuchles overwhelmed. Yes she had thought right. She couldn't believe it and jumped up to pull her son into an intimate embrace. Her son is actually getting married!

#shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #malec #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Magnus x Alec #stay with me #I am nothing without my magic!#i need the family ring #shtv #shadowhunter spoilers #nephilimdaily

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hiddlesgirl · 6 years

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SH 314: A Kiss From a Rose

This week’s episode was definitely an improvement on last week, although it is not quite as good as 311 and 312. The flow felt better, there were a few great scenes and we are seeing the real beginnings of some major plotlines appearing. However, there was one major issue I had which pertains to the Maia and Jordan scenes; and I will be discussing it. I loved protective Alec and Magnus is making my heart ache; the Clace date was adorable and Jonathan is creepy but that’s no surprise to anyone.

The fact that Jonathan had a Seelie glamoured as Clary is several levels of creepy, but I found it really interesting that his perception of her is virginal. We know that Clary is not a virgin; we know that she had sex with Jace in 313 but I’m almost 100% sure that she and Simon had sex while they were dating in 2A and she may have even lost her virginity before that; we can’t know for sure. But the fact that Jonathan sees her as pure and untouched is rather fascinating; he is clearly putting her on some sort of pedestal, seeing her as this pure angel who can save and redeem him.

I really did not like that Maia was trapped in the same storage room that Luke locked her in, in 209; we know how terrified she is of being trapped in small spaces and I kinda hate that they did that too her again. Surely there was another way out, I mean the back door was right there which leads into a dock full of storage containers which while not great they would have been a little bigger and wouldn’t have brought back those memories from 209.

My heart really goes out to Maia because her phobia is clearly very present and distressing for her; I think that portraying phobias this way is good because it shows the reality of it and also brings panic attacks into the conversations Shadowhunters is often so good at starting. I liked that Jordan stayed calm and helped her through her panic attack, keeping her calm in a situation that causes her great distress.

I thought that the Clace morning scene was very sweet, they don’t often have these moments just to be with each other and it’s great that they are getting that now. Clary is clearly concerned about Jonathan and their bond, the message on her arm has disturbed her and has once again reaffirmed that no matter how hard she tries to forget or ignore Jonathan, he isn’t going anywhere.

It’s a little strange to see Jace so insecure and vulnerable, but in a good way; he hardly ever really opens up, especially romantically. To see him be vulnerable with Clary shows how far he has come since season 1 and how much her loves her to let her in, to let her know how important she is.

Izzy is determined to get to the bottom of what is happening at the Gard, even more so after Greenlaw’s death; she knows that it must be important if the Clave are willing to kill their own to keep their secret. Since season 1 she has loudly advocated for the rights and against the bad treatment of Downworlders and I love seeing that side of her again. Also, I am loving that she has her own, very important, storyline which is extremely relevant; she has a strong moral compass and she is not going to let fear for her own well being get in the way of doing what’s right. I am very excited to see where this storyline goes.

In case you haven’t read my 311 review, my loose theory at the moment is that they are somehow trying to purify the demon blood in Downworlders as a way to get rid of them because they know they cannot just keep killing them without backlash from the younger generations. By purifying the demon blood they would presumably just become mundanes, therefore the Clave can eradicate Downworlders without committing mass murders. This theory started because a while ago I heard theories and rumours that Luke may be becoming a Shadowhunters again (I think this started because there was a picture of Isaiah on set with runes applied, the crew said it was just a bit of fun but who knows); paired with the footage of Luke from the Freeform trailer in one frame of which he has the same glowing veins and eyes.

We learn that Lorenzo has forbidden all warlocks in New York from helping Magnus (which is so freaking despicable); I did see a few tweets wondering why Magnus didn’t contact one of his warlock friends from another county to help him. My opinion is that he didn’t because that warlock would have to travel to New York to help him (NY warlocks are not allowed to help him in anyway which would presumably include creating him a portal to someone who would help him) and in doing so would be in Lorenzo’s territory, and therefore (presumably) have to abide by his rules. Even those who come from somewhere else have to respect and obey the local High Warlock; so Magnus cannot portal to help and help would have to abide by Lorenzo’s rules if they came to him.

I cannot stand Lorenzo, he is revelling in Magnus’ situation and the pain it’s causing him; and is loving being able to hold power over him by making sure that Magnus would have to come to him for help. I hate that Magnus feels so lost and desperate that he is willing to ask Lorenzo for help, but I also understand it; you can see how severely losing his magic has affected him, he feels stranded and hates not being able to help people. Unfortunately, we all know that this isn’t going to end well as Lorenzo warns; and I am terrified. The thing is that this isn’t Magnus’ true magic it is a supply of Lorenzo’s, so he is still mortal and has a magic that is not his own. His body is going to start rejecting it and is unable to sustain the power of it, especially because it is not the magic he was born with.

Even though I was a little annoyed that Maia’s happiest memory was of Jordan I can understand why, in that moment obviously her memories that involve him would be at the forefront plus it might not be just because it was Jordan, but to have someone to rely on who will come to help you when you call.

I really like that Jace took Clary ice skating because it was something she used to do with her mum, to help Clary relive those memories and create new ones. The tone of the scene was very sweet, tender and joyful; I love seeing them having fun with each other and being able to enjoy something mundane together. Also, Kat actually learned to ice skate for this scene and I am in even more awe of her because she looks very at ease; plus, Dom can actually ice skate and had to pretend he couldn’t, it can sometimes be difficult to pretend to not know how to do something because your body automatically wants to do it from muscle memory.

When Jonathan turned into Jace I was literally screaming ‘no’ at the TV because you know that it is not going to end well, especially knowing the very skewed way he sees love and that he has kissed Clary in the past while glamoured.

I absolutely loved the looks of confusion on both Alec and Underhill’s faces when Magnus’ comes in and is using magic to sort through the documents; I was thinking that this was when Magnus and Underhill were going to meet but unfortunately not. But it is coming next week (if they haven’t cut it), hopefully we will finally learn Underhill’s first name and I am so hoping it goes really well. I also love Magnus’ look to Alec to make sure he is watching and looks appropriately shocked.

I love that Harry is keeping consistency with Magnus’ tendency to just throw things on the floor when he doesn’t need them or something else catches his attention. He is clearly trying to avoid telling Alec the full truth about how he got magic and what the consequences of it are, he feels so happy to have it back and knows that Alec would worry if he knew the details so has decided to not tell him right now so they can both enjoy the moment.

Alec knows that something is wrong and wants to know why Lorenzo was willing to help Magnus; he doesn’t trust Lorenzo and wants to be able to support Magnus. He knows that Lorenzo wouldn’t do something for Magnus’ without asking for something in return and he is worried about what that might be. Plus, surely he recognises that it isn’t Magnus’ true magic from the colour and is already scared about what might happen to Magnus if the situation goes badly.

I like that Clary is being honest with Jace about what happened, she knows that nothing good comes from keeping secrets and that he would want to know, to help and be there for her. She is confused with Jace’s replies of Jonathan being crazy about her and kidnapping her out of love, she is definitely put off by this but she doesn’t click.

Jonathan definitely looks angry, annoyed, put out? I can’t quite describe the exact emotion but he definitely is not happy to hear the implication that Clary and Jace have had sex, I’m not sure if this is some form of jealousy or if it is just because it is shattering his pure visage of her. I liked the scene and Dom does a really great job of acting as Jonathan, but you feel a bit annoyed that Clary didn’t get more of a sense that something isn’t right because Jace’s whole demeanour is off and she is smarter than falling for the thinly veiled deceit.

I really did not like that Jordan kept trying to talk about what he did to Maia, by turning her and abandoning her, despite the fact that she tells him twice (in slightly different ways) to not talk about it right now. He just carries on and it’s not even about how she feels, it’s about his feelings and self pity “I’ll never forgive myself”, instead of making the conversation about Maia, acknowledging that he wronged her and all her feelings about that are valid, once again it is about his need for forgiveness. The whole scene feels so Jordan orientated, getting him his redemption before he might die and I hate that because Maia is the person who was wronged.

Then it gets worse when she says “I forgive you”, I hated that because she is saying that because she is scared he is dying and that is the only reason. It has only been a week since he talked to her about what was going on with him back then and suddenly she is ready to forgive him when not a few days before she couldn’t bear to be in the same city as him? Also, if she is going to forgive him then it needs to be for her, because she is ready to move on and let go of the anger and upset; not because he is hurt and she wants to make him feel better.

Maia then goes on to say that she was feeling a lot of emotions because of what happened but that it doesn’t matter now, all this implies that she is the one at fault for feeling angry that he did terrible things to her and almost perpetuates victim blaming. By saying that the negative emotions she was feeling doesn’t matter implies that those feelings are invalid and sends out a potentially harmful message; Maia has every right to feel those things because she was attacked by someone she loved and trusted. Just because he was going through something difficult and is sorry doesn’t change what he did or how it made her feel.

Another thing (sorry I know I’m ranting but I do not like Jordan as a character and I don’t like how this situation has been handled), despite his constant insistence that he is sorry he has not shown development or change in his behaviour. He still insists on being heard whether the other person (Maia) wants to engage in that conversation or not, putting himself and his feelings first; he has not sort any help for his clear anger control issues (evident with him losing control with the vampires) which you think he would have done after his loss of control causing this entire situation in the first place; and he is still abandoning people, he was ready to just up and leave Simon now the mark is gone, granted that was the reason he was there in the first place but surely (with the Praetors job being to make sure new Downworlders adjust to their new lives) he would stick around for a few more weeks for make sure Simon is dealing properly; he was just going to leave without giving Maia full closure on their past, letting her work out her issues while he kept a slight distance but being available should she want to talk; and he was going to leave the Praetor without saying anything to them as we know from their phone call to Luke they think he has gone awol, so obviously he hasn’t spoken to them about taking some time away from them.

I saw a poll on Twitter the other day where they asked what people’s options were on why Jordan attacked Maia, and the three answers were ‘Abusive’, ‘First time wolf out’ and ‘Don’t care’; but I think that the situation was too complicated to just peg it down to one or the other. Yes, Jordan was turning so his emotions were heightened which caused him to lash out or react badly to a situation. However, him turning did not make him stalk is ex-girlfriend; he made the decision to follow Maia and watch her while she was on a date with someone else knowing that it would make him jealous, then he decided to follow and confront her about it. So, him turning caused the heightened state which led to his loss of control and turning her, but it was his own decisions and actions in stalking her that led to that incident; if he had left her alone then it would not have happened.

Some may argue that many wolves attack people when they turn for the first time, Maia did too; and yes, that happens, but from what I understand it is usually a stranger that just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when someone is experiencing that first turn.

I still find it hard to believe that Clary doesn’t figure it out until Jonathan kisses her, his behaviour and speech is very different from Jace’s that she should have known something was wrong before then. Plus, it just made me cringe because for one incest, ew, but also we already suffered through one incest kiss between them, did we really need another one? I know that it’s because Jonathan doesn’t understand the lines between sibling, platonic and romantic love and how to show it, plus probably some effort of putting a claim on her; but it just freaks you out. The only solid reason why I think they did another incest kiss is because he was disguised as Jace, and that this is the start of a wedge developing in the romantic side of Clary and Jace’s relationship, this is the only story relevant reason I could think of as to why they would do that again.

Magnus is enjoying having his magic by creating a portal, lighting the torches and removing the lid of the sarcophagus; but Alec is worried about Magnus over doing it, telling him to take it easy. He has no idea what this new magic, or the overexertion of it, could do to Magnus. We learn that the Morningstar Sword was stolen about 20 years ago and that it has the power to call an army of demons from Hell. Well, that kinda solves the mystery of the demons flying around in the trailers, shit.

Magnus finally tells Alec that Lorenzo asked for his apartment in return for the magic, Alec is absolutely fuming and ready to attack Lorenzo. His distrust has been proven right and he is furious that Lorenzo has taken advantage of Magnus’ situation and has taken his home from him, especially at a time that Magnus has lost so many other things. Plus, it has become home for Alec too; it hold’s almost all of his memories of his relationship with Magnus and he hates that Lorenzo is taking that away from them both.

Magnus explains that he willing gave up his apartment for the magic and why; magic is more important to him than the apartment, which at the end of the day is just a thing. This scene makes me cry, listening to Magnus describe how without his magic he feels cut off from the world, disconnected and that he doesn’t matter; I think that it is very easy for a lot of people to identify with those feelings, I know that I really identified with feeling those things in my darkest times and it is so refreshing and validating to hear a character talk about it.

Magnus is making Alec understand how being without his magic has completely changed how he connects with the world and with others, in Season 1 he told Clary that he thought Dot dead because he couldn’t feel her magic anymore. So not only did he lose a part of himself but he also lost his connection to his friends, his people; there is no wonder he feels so separate and adrift. Magnus reassures Alec that having him and his magic is enough for him to happy; you can tell that Alec isn’t happy with the situation and its consequences but he smiles because he can see the difference in Magnus and appreciates why he has done this.

I love seeing Luke and Simon scenes, I love their relationship; my heart aches for them because you can see their devastation upon finding the massacre at the Jade Wolf, Luke’s especially because you can see he is swimming with guilt as well. We know that Luke is going to blame himself for this, thinking that if he was there or if was still Alpha then they would still be alive. Luckily, Simon hears Maia and helps her escape the storage room.

When Izzy and Jace come to help Clary escape, Clary is unable to draw the sedative rune on Jonathan, she looks confused and horrified in the moment and after that she was unable to make herself incapacitate him. Personally I think that this was for a couple of reasons; firstly, in that moment Jonathan does appear vulnerable in his expression and that causes Clary to just see her brother, in that second she doesn’t see the murderer she just sees her brother, her last remaining blood relative; secondly, I think that the rune and their connection is going stronger, and that is causing them to not want to cause harm to each other or in this case cause their capture. It would make sense that the rune would grow in strength over time and that is going to cause behaviour changes, possibly feeding Clary’s darker impulses.

Simon helps Maia get Jordan to the Praetor while Luke allows himself to be arrested; it hurts because you know that Luke let that happen because he felt guilty, responsible for their deaths and didn’t just want to leave them. I know that he is going to keep feeling guilty about this but I hope that Maia, Simon and Clary will help him deal with it.

My absolute favourite scene of the entire episode, Alec confronts Lorenzo! I love it, Alec calls out Lorenzo for taking advantage of Magnus and wanting to humiliate him; he knows that Lorenzo dislikes Magnus and would not let this opportunity to get back at him pass him by. He despises him for hurting Magnus, for taking advantage of someone in a clearly vulnerable position but also because Lorenzo is supposed to be a leader and is abusing his power to get what he wants. He doesn’t allow Lorenzo to mock him and reasserts his power as the Head of the Institute; making it known that Alec will not tolerate any back talk or disrespect from Lorenzo.

He is willing to make a deal with Lorenzo to get the apartment back, he knows how independent Magnus is and despite what he says Alec knows that losing his home is going to hurt him. He is willing to do whatever it takes to protect Magnus. I absolutely love Matt’s acting in this scene, the distain in his expression and the little twitch of his face when Lorenzo talks about putting Magnus in his place. Matt is so fantastic at conveying so much in small movements and facial expressions, and you can tell that in that moment Alec wanted to rip Lorenzo limb from limb.

I love that Alec makes his distain of Lorenzo as a person and a leader clear, he hates how Lorenzo conducts himself as High Warlock and doesn’t respect him as a leader at all; a good leader supports those under their care and doesn’t take advantage of them for their own gain and petty vendetta. He makes it clear that he is going to be keeping an extremely close eye on Lorenzo and is waiting for him to slip up, Alec is going to bide his time so that he can punish Lorenzo when the time is right and in a situation that no one can refute his decision. I was literally laughing, hollering and clapping throughout this entire scene; it reminded me of 210 when he told Aldertree to stay away from his family, I love seeing him in hyper-protective mode.

At this point I cannot see any redemption arc for Lorenzo because he takes credit for Magnus’ achievements (the purified ley lines from 302), enjoys causing suffering and revels in humiliating Magnus in any and all ways possible. He may have some past with Magnus that caused his hatred, but we don’t know what that is, maybe Magnus did something to him or maybe Lorenzo is just jealous of him; jealous of his power and how many people like him, he knows that Magnus has the support of a lot of warlocks and that clearly rubs him the wrong way. But no matter their history, Lorenzo has acted despicably; especially as High Warlock, his job if to lead and protect no matter his own grievances and he has shown that he is incapable of putting aside petty rivalries to do that.

And I’m crying again; Magnus looks so happy enjoying a cocktail in Hunter’s Moon, you can tell that he feels so much happier and like himself now. I love his interaction with the bartender and seeing him smile so broadly. Then I breakdown when his head starts ringing and nose starts bleeding after he opens the portal, we know that this is the beginning of something horrifying and we are not ready. His symptoms are only going to get worse with time and continued use of the magic, but he is not going to willingly give it up because he has experienced living without it and cannot go back to feeling like that.

I love seeing Izzy back in the lab, and she finds a USB drive inside of Greenlaw; I need to see what is on there! Plus she looks gorgeous in these scenes, especially with the lighting.

Clary is angry with herself for not being able to detain Jonathan, she knows that he needs to be caught and poses danger to them; she feels like she failed and doesn’t understand why. Throughout the whole scene it appears that she has difficulty even looking at Jace which is understandable but also hints that my theory of a wedge between them may be right. She tells Jace about the kiss, she needs to be honest and to be able to express her feelings about it; she feels violated, she was kissed by someone under false pretences and that person was her brother. You can see the distress she feels at being kissed without her consent, I am glad that they addressed her feelings about this.

I really liked Jace’s ‘swear on us’ line, it shows his strength of feeling for her and how much he believes in their relationship; he believes that they can survive anything, together. It is clear that what Jonathan has done is going to have a lasting effect because Clary turns away from Jace’s kiss; it is completely understandable because all she will be able to think about is Jonathan taking advantage of her. I hope that they can move past this but that remains to be seen.

Jonathan is very pleased with the fact that Clary was unable to capture him and is sure that they will soon be reunited; I wonder if he knows the real strength and effect of the twinning rune.

But what I did find very interesting, and looking back you can kinda see it in 313 too, is the continuous reappearance of fire with Clary and Jonathan. Plus, in that last scene it was fire that transitioned their scenes; I thought it was very clever and interesting. I wonder if it is because of the twinning rune, Jonathan’s demon blood or because of Jonathan’s experience being burned and burning himself.

Okay, I really liked this episode and it was definitely an improvement on last week. Yes, I did have issues with the Jordan and Maia scenes, but hopefully I have explained them in a way in which you can understand where my opinion comes from.

In 315, Magnus is now living at the Institute, he meets Underhill, they are dealing with Heidi and we might be seeing Raphael return!

#SH 3x14 Review #Shadowhunters #A Kiss From a Rose #SH 314 #Shadowhunters Review #SH 3x14 #SH 314 Review #SH314 #SH3x14 #Shadowhunters 314 #Shadowhunters 3x14

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warlocksass · 7 years

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The Hades and Persephone AU no one asked for!

Iron Flowers

The wards in the Underworld are starting to weaken and Alec has to find the reborn Persephone before it's too late and Valentine gets out. But when at-first-glance-mortal Magnus turns out to be the personification of spring itself who doesn't know his true powers it gets a little more complicated than just restoring the wards in a flash.

Read it on AO3

The cold wind of the portal was comforting to Alec as he stepped through. Feeling it collapse on itself behind him, Alec closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh. It had been too long since he’d had a chance to relax and take a break. He opened his eyes to a familiar apartment, but immediately winced at the harsh sunlight blinding his tired eyes. Hearing voices in the next room, he shielded his eyes before stepping through the doorway into the kitchen, greeted by the curious eyes of his brother and sister.

“Wow. You look like a fate worse than death.” Jace grinned and Izzy giggled quietly when Alec threw him his most exaggerated annoyed eye roll.

“Nice to see you too. How long have I been away?”

He turned to Izzy and handed her the bottle of Ambrosia to put away. She hummed and gave a little twirl as she walked through the open kitchen, causing light to catch off the glass bottle and the amber liquid inside— right into Alec’s sensitive eyes. He groaned and turned away, trying to avoid any further irritation before he could finally pass out in his bed.

“Three days here. So for you, it probably was like a week, right?” Izzy asked as Alec took a heavy seat on the barstool, trying to stay upright.

“Probably.” He shrugged and tried to unfasten his cape one-handed, not having the energy to lift both hands. “It’s kind of hard to keep track of time when the light source doesn’t move.”

Growing frustrated with the last few clips, Alec gave the fabric a harsh tug and felt them finally unclasp. Alec instantly felt lighter when the cape slid off his shoulders. Usually he didn’t notice its weight, but today the heavy leather feathers flowing from his shoulders felt more like they were dragging him down than protecting him. He sighed, rolling out his shoulders and neck to try to get rid of the tension there.

“You know you shouldn’t wear that up here” Izzy chastised. Her voice was too soft to be effective though, and it at least brought a smile to his face.

“Is it too heavy?” Jace asked, worried. “I can try and make it lighter for you.”

Alec just shook his head at the offer. “I’m just tired. Didn’t really have time to sleep while I was away this time, so I’m gonna go pass out soon. “

“You can’t keep doing this, Alec. It won’t help the situation if you’re exhausted all the time. Plus, it’s bad for you.” He looked up at Jace to respond, but found he and Izzy wearing identical worried faces. They weren’t going to leave it alone, were they?

“I really can’t help it, guys. We have to fix the wards as soon as we can, but we can’t do it without the original maker—and we don’t even know who that is at this point in time.” Alec braced himself with a few deep, measured breaths against how his siblings would react to what he was about to tell them.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you guys yet, but part of why I’ve been so busy and tired is because there was an incident in Tartarus. Several souls broke out and almost escaped.” He put a hand up before he even heard their gasps, knowing they’d attack him with questions if he didn’t stop them first. “We caught them, of course, but… We can’t risk Valentine getting out.”

Several moments of astonished silence followed.

“You didn’t tell us it was that bad…” Izzy whispered, clearly still processing the information.

“Because it wasn’t—at first.” Alec shook his head. “I don’t know what happened, or how, really. But we either need to find Persephone or find a way to put up the wards ourselves, as soon as possible.”

“Got it,” Izzy said, nodding. “I’ll step up my research. Can I get into your library if needed?”

“Go nuts. I’ll even come with you to help.”

Alec made a move to stand, but Izzy put a hand on his shoulder to keep him sitting.

“Nonsense. I have Jace for that. Right now, the only place you’re going is your room and straight to bed. You look like you’re ready to pass out. I’ll order some food to get delivered so you have something to eat later if we’re still out when you wake up.” Alec opened his mouth to argue, but when Jace shook his head at him he snapped it shut again. If Jace was telling him to sleep, he must look particularly wrecked.

“Don’t even try bro, you look dead on your feet,” Jace admonished, grinning at his own joke like it was the smartest thing he’d ever thought of. Alec groaned and rubbed his temples.

“Fine. As long as I don’t have to listen to any more of your stupid jokes today.”

It only took a moment for Alec to figure out that he was dreaming. The fuzzy edges around his vision and the dull throb of music that should have been much louder were both dead giveaways. Alec looked around the nightclub, vision blurring when he moved too fast. The people dancing and shifting around him completely ignored Alec, but he was used to it— he could disappear entirely if he wanted to, after all. He watched as the party goers mingled around without a care in the world, never noticing the fragile red threads that trailed behind each of them. Most of the cords were still a vivid, bold red; the people here were quite young. But Alec spotted a handful that were fading to a dull crimson and one or two that had almost entirely blackened. Those poor souls wouldn’t live through the night.

A strange glimmer to his left caught Alec’s attention. Bright lights flashed all around him, making it difficult to track the luminous trail he thought he’d seen. There it was again - a soft glow that countered the sharp bite of the flashing club lighting. As faint as it was, the familiar shimmer gave Alec hope.

He stood quickly and kept his eyes locked on the golden thread tangling itself in the mass of people. The other patrons parted for him willingly, as if they could unconsciously sense his power and wanted to keep as much distance from him as possible. He followed the gold thread deeper and deeper into the club, bodies around him twisting and writhing, melting together until he realized his dream was slipping away. The edges of his vision grew dark, and he hurried his pace across the dance floor, looking for clues as to where he was. The Fates hadn’t bestowed this gift to him without reason – it was his responsibility to make the connection.

A figure lurked over in the dark corner by the bar, the golden strand disappearing into the shadows around them. The last thing Alec saw before his vision shattered was the word PANDEMONIUM, flashing in bright neon letters...

The club, his club , was full of people tonight. Just how he liked it. He had the perfect view of his kingdom, how he liked to call it—much to Ragnor’s dismay—from his elevated VIP podium and was happy to see so many people enjoying themselves. The flashing lights fit perfectly with the throbbing music, both encouraging people to find their rhythm. The bright flashes would have blinded Magnus if he were down among the dancers, but from his elevated lounge he could enjoy his drink in peace without having to squint.

A figure joining him on the sofa caught Magnus’ attention, and he looked up to find Ragnor watching him with a curious expression.

“Magnus, what are you doing here? It’s your day off. If you tell me you’re working, I’m banning you from the club for a week.”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile at his best friend’s empty threats. “No, my work habits aren’t that bad. Can’t I just come here to see you?”

“No. We’re meeting tomorrow. What’s wrong?”

Now that he could see that Ragnor’s undivided attention was on him. Magnus just shrugged and figured that there was no reason to avoid the subject.

“I had a weird dream that I can’t even remember, but it made me restless all day. Yoga didn’t help, neither did gardening or other means of meditation. I’m stumped, so now I’m here in hopes of getting drunk and dancing it out or finding someone fun to distract me for the night.” He turned to Ragnor with a grin, just in time to see him roll his eyes fondly.

“You do you, my dear friend. But we’re talking about this tomorrow. You’ve been having a lot of those dreams lately and this can’t keep happening. You’ll collapse from exhaustion if it does.” Ragnor’s expression turned serious and Magnus knew better than try and argue the decision. Ragnor could be very parental when he wanted to.

"Fine, mom.” It was Magnus’ turn to roll his eyes fondly “But for now I’m gonna have my fun and try to forget my weird dreams.” He took Ragnor’s silence as acceptance of his plan, and relaxed fully into the plush couch to enjoy the charged atmosphere of the club and people around him.

Magnus had the perfect view of both the people walking in the entrance and the bar that was just across the dance floor. When he was on duty, the viewpoint helped to make sure the club was running smoothly. He was easily seen and the employees could reach him quickly in case of an emergency. On off nights like this one though, he enjoyed the opportunity his perch afforded when someone particularly attractive walked in. Like right now.

The epitome of tall, dark, and handsome walked in, and Magnus watched him look around, looking a little lost for a second. But as he started walking again, Magnus watched in fascination as the crowd parted for him without people themselves even noticing. It was like he commanded people with just his mere presence. Magnus’ felt his own curiosity spike just from watching this man stride through his club to take a seat at the bar.

Magnus looked to his friend with a devious smile on his face. He knew Ragnor immediately recognised from the countless times he’d seen it when instead of asking the obvious question, Ragnor just raised his eyebrows, waiting for Magnus to explain.

“Look at that. See, I told you we have the best seats in the club.” At first Ragnor didn’t seem to find anything interesting as he glanced once across the club, but when Magnus pointed out his eye candy, his eyes seemed to widen just a fraction.

Ragnor was good at hiding his emotions, set as he was on keeping up the grumpy old man persona. But Magnus knew surprise on his best friend’s face when he saw it. Ragnor reeled his expression back in as he turned back to Magnus.

"Really? That guy?”

Magnus scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t lie to me. What’s wrong? Is he bad news?” Magnus was about to ask Ragnor if he should call for security, only for his friend to shake his head to silence him.

“Calm down, you’re always so fast to react, my friend.” With a private fond smile Ragnor shook his head again before continuing. “He’s not bad news. Let’s say he’s a friend of a friend, something like that.” Ragnor shrugged and just like that he was back to being the stoic Ragnor Magnus knew and loved.

“What did he do? Step on your shoe once and not apologise?” He laughed at Ragnor’s scowl and finished his leftover drink in one gulp. “Oops, look at that. Time to get a refill.” He winked at his best friend, standing up and making his way down the glass stairs into the mass of people.

Feeling the life and the energy of a happy crowd brought a grin to Magnus’ face just from being a part of it. The thrum of bodies happily moving around him made his own body buzz with excitement, like he was sharing the same energy as them just from stepping into the crowd.

Magnus stopped to dance with one person or another as he made his way through the dance floor leisurely, enjoying his evening. But he couldn’t take his eyes off the tall figure next to the bar for long. Now that he was closer, he could see how handsome the man was with his dark hair and light stubble on his chin. His chiseled features reminded Magnus of a marble statue. He seemed somewhat out of place in the club, like he didn’t exactly belong there. But Magnus couldn’t imagine this man belonging anywhere, it was like the stranger created his own bubble of space around himself that no one dared to breach. Maybe that was why no one had come up to him to try and talk. Magnus couldn’t think of any other reason, especially with the tight shirt hugging his torso so perfectly.

Magnus approached slowly, making sure the man would see him in his peripheral vision before waving to the bartender, asking for his usual drink.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.” Magnus watched a whirlwind of emotion run over the stranger’s face in the span of a few seconds. First excitement, then confusion mixed with disappointment, just before a shy and curious smile stretched over the pretty stranger's face.

Magnus let an amused smile slip onto his own face. He knew he looked good with his leather pants and a deep cut shirt and necklaces accentuating his abs. Along with his spiked hair and heavy makeup, he guessed he was a little much to take in, especially if he was right and the stranger was new to the scene. Maybe that was why it took a second longer for the man to answer.

“I’m sorry, I was expecting someone I know.” Magnus reeled his expression into something polite and neutral, but before he could offer to leave the stranger realised what he’d said and corrected himself, an attractive blush appearing on his pale cheeks.

“Not that you’re.. uh.. Unwelcome? I was just really surprised, sorry..” His blush seemed even brighter now and Magnus chuckled

“I’m Magnus.”

“Alec.”

Magnus tilted his head, thinking. “Short for Alexander, I assume?” Alec nodded and Magnus hummed in response. “Such a waste to shorten such a beautiful name, Alexander.” The name rolled off his tongue naturally, as if he’d been saying it all his life. “So, was I right? Is it your first time in this club?”

Alec nodded as he watched Magnus take a sip of his own drink, eyes following his throat for a moment. A smirk pulled on Magnus’ lips.

“A… friend told me about it.”

Magnus gave Alec a charming smile and was delighted find Alec’s eyes jump from his eyes to his mouth, to his throat and back to his lips. Well, at least Alec was appreciating him just as much as he was appreciating Alec.

Magnus found himself surprised when he realised that it wasn’t just Alec’s looks keeping his attention. Talking to him was easy and fun, and when he smiled, the whole club faded away. Magnus couldn’t help but feel like this has happened before, like he’d seen that smile at some point of his life, but would he have really forgotten it?

“Have we… met before?”

Alec’s eyebrows drew together as he looked at Magnus again, as if studying him. “No. I’m pretty sure I would have remembered you. You look like you’re hard to forget.” He finished with a cheeky smile that made Magnus chuckle and forget the heavy feeling curling in his stomach.

“Do you want to dance?” He stepped closer to Alec, invading his space, but Alec didn’t look like he minded. The cute blush stained his cheeks practically permanently. Alec licked his lips, momentarily distracting Magnus, and nodded, standing up from the bar chair he was occupying.

Magnus was about to lead him to the dance floor when Alec froze, as his eyes caught something or someone across the room. Magnus turned to look, desperate to see if everything was okay, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“Remember I said I was expecting someone else?” Alec started with an apologetic tone. “Well, I think I saw someone who could help me find them.” Alec looked really apologetic, but Magnus still felt disappointment curling inside of him. “I’m really sorry, I really need to find this person. I wouldn’t be leaving otherwise.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t matter. Go.” He gave Alec a shrug and could feel his face closing off on its own.

Alec bit his lip and sighed. He looked between whoever he saw, back to Magnus, and back to this other person. “Sorry. Maybe next time?” He left as soon as Magnus gave him a quick nod.

Magnus rolled his eyes at the wasted opportunity. He’d spent a good amount of time talking Alec up, expecting his evening to end really well—preferably with both of them in a bed—but now he was no longer in the mood for that. Turning to check if Ragnor was still on the podium and finding the usual sofa empty, Magnus turned to the dance floor and put on his usual smile that felt just a little forced. Alec had been a welcome distraction for a while, but Magnus didn’t need to rely on him to lift his mood.

Once again he relied on the happy crowd of the dance floor, content to get lost in it, to just feel his own body moving to the music, sometimes with a partner, other times solo, but always just as distracting. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine and Magnus felt his forced smile melt into a real one as he closed his eyes, letting the music take over.

The last moment of his dream clung to Magnus as he jerked awake. He desperately tried to call his dream back, but the feeling of warmth and joy faded away, leaving only gray melancholy behind. All Magnus could recall now was a warm presence next to him and a field of flowers before him. Magnus blinked again at the cold sunshine streaming through the crack in the heavy curtains of his bedroom. Once again, the sun was hiding behind heavy clouds and Magnus longed to feel warm sunshine waking him up from heavy sleep.

A heavy longing settled in his chest. Magnus wondered if he wished more for the sun or for the dream to come back. Turning on his side, he winced at the pounding in his head.

Hangovers had never been a problem for him. He’d always joked that he was just blessed by the Gods, to which Ragnor usually just rolled his eyes with a snort and continued reading his book. But this morning Magnus felt heavy, he didn’t want to get out of bed and his head kept throbbing painfully. Last night’s plan to forget the annoying feeling nagging at him after the weird dream had been a success, if only for a little while. He had his fun drinking and dancing, but didn’t end up taking a lover home.

But now the feeling was back again, and Magnus only remembered a fraction of the dream that made him feel that way. He felt cheated. The heavy weight anchored in his chest wasn’t worth the few glimpses of the dream he remembered—even if the glimpses were the most wonderful dream he’d ever remembered having.

And there was that sense of déjà-vu again that he couldn’t shake. He had the same feeling when talking to Alexander last night, like he’d already known him but forgotten who he was. Now he felt like he already knew the warm presence in the dream, and that he’d seen the colorful fields of flowers at some point in his life, but the more Magnus thought about it, the more his head throbbed, leaving Magnus curled up in his bed, trying not to move.

Maybe he was going mad. Ragnor had teased him that it would eventually happen, but Magnus never expected that it would happen this soon. Maybe he should ask Catarina.

Remembering his friends, Magnus carefully reached out for his phone to check the time and sighed in relief at seeing that he still had plenty of time before meeting them.

He laid back on his pillow, content to stall the process of getting up by taking inventory of his room. Everything was in its place - shelves full of knickknacks, mementos and books, the opened closet door and the mess surrounding it, full of outfit choices hanging around on any surface they could. Apparently, the worst of it was his pants hanging on his vanity mirror, which wasn’t wild at all. Even his makeup tray was still in perfect disarray, a system that only he could understand. Magnus counted that as a success. At least he hadn’t made more of a mess than usual when he’d come home last night.

Cleaning up to look presentable took Magnus a little longer than he was used to. He was still feeling sluggish and heavy, constantly fighting the gray fog settling around his body. He forced himself to keep moving because he knew that if he gave into the feelings of melancholy and longing, he wouldn’t be able to snap out of it again for a few days at least. So he did the one thing that always helped.

Watering and taking care of his plants took up a pleasurable part of his morning. He made sure to check all of the plants that took up a significant part of his loft, and give them anything they needed. Ragnor was the only one who understood his obsession with plants, and even indulged him by taking care of his flowers if he left for a few days. Magnus talked to each of the plants, playing obvious favorites with his Venus Flytrap Eliot, and the tiny cactus he’d named Joshua, having heard that it helped them grow. Taking special care of the pink carnations that had once been his mother’s favourite, Magnus hummed a familiar tune from his childhood, both to the flowers and himself. He couldn’t wait for the flowers to bloom and give his loft that extra spot of color.

This routine was a kind of meditation, calming and grounding him while keeping him busy. Also caring for something else, even something as small as a plant, helped him feel important. Opening the balcony doors to let in some fresh air, Magnus shivered at the cold gust of wind that made his windchimes let out a pleasant arrangement of sounds. It was still way too cold to move some of his bigger plants back on the balcony. With the sun still hiding and Magnus’ mood still lingering around him the city looked even more gray than it usually did.

The streets were loud and bustling as always, even if everything around him seemed to be colored in gray tones. Not wanting to get cold just standing around, Magnus started walking in the direction of Ragnor’s place, wishing for the warm weather to come sooner. He missed going on walks in the park and relaxing in the sun.

When he had moved to the city, Magnus had made every effort he could to connect to it, to make it feel like home so he could escape his past. Magnus always got a pleasant rush walking through a mass of people who were always running somewhere, only to turn a corner and find an unexpected quiet place. Everyone in the city was connected and separate at the same time, much like Magnus found nature to be.

He’d travelled when he could, found places with more nature, explored because he wanted to know more and feel more. And the more he traveled to different places, the more he saw the similarities between a deep forest and his beloved city. He could almost feel how the forest would breathe on its own and found the same rhythm in the heartbeat of New York.

His eyes caught something new on the familiar path to Ragnor’s place and Magnus stopped. With a smile he walked into the new flower shop and was immediately greeted by a lovely lady with dark hair and deep dark eyes.

“Hi! How can I help you?”

“Hi there. You’re new here, right? I haven’t seen this store before.” The lady gave him a warm smile and a confirming nod.

“Just opened up yesterday, actually. You must know the neighbourhood pretty well to notice a new store opening up.”

“I do, but I actually just notice flower shops all the time. I’m a little obsessed with plants.” Magnus gave her a little scheming wink and got distracted by a small shelf of pretty pastel succulents and a lonely cactus with sharp looking spikes.

“You’d think that someone who loves plants that much would try and live somewhere in nature, but somehow New York has taken my heart with its restless energy. Sometimes it’s like a living organism itself, you know? Like a whole rainforest, the taller buildings shielding the small ones from the wind and giving them space to grow safely…”

He’d been talking while looking at the cactus, giving it more of his attention than the lady standing right next to him, so when he turned to her and saw her confused expression Magnus had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Whether his exasperation was with her or himself he wasn’t sure.

Figuring he wouldn’t receive any sort of answer, Magnus just shrugged and picked up the small potted cactus, careful not to touch any of the spikes, and turned back to the lady with a polite smile.

“I want this little guy home.”

Making sure the protective plastic was secure around the sharp points of his new friend, Magnus continued on to Ragnor’s building. Come to think of it, Ragnor and this cactus had quite a bit in common; fondness for dressing in green tones, sharp and precise zinging comments, and a surprising resilience to hostile environments… It was settled, he’d call the little guy Ragnor. He was still debating on whether he would keep it for himself or leave it at Ragnor’s care when he finally arrived at the building.

Magnus let himself in without hesitation at the front door, preferring to try to surprise his best friend over calling out to announce his arrival. However, he found himself as the surprised party when he heard voices coming from the living room. He peeked around the corner, only to see Ragnor discussing something in hushed tones with Alexander.

What was he doing here? Magnus remembered Ragnor telling him something about Alec, but he didn’t make the connection last night and now Magnus was left feeling stupid. Regardless, he still didn’t expect to find the two alone in Ragnor’s apartment when Magnus was supposed to be the one meeting with Ragnor.

“I’m telling you, we need to find them. This is bad. We’ve ignored the warning signs before and look where that got us. I’ve got The Fates telling me Persephone was at the club where I met you. Are you sure you haven’t seen them?”

“Ha- Alec. I get it, okay, but I can’t feel them either. She or he must still be dormant and we can’t do much about it, no matter how much you want it to be different. I could try and come to see if I know how to restore the wards but-” He would have continued if Alec hadn’t noticed Magnus first and turned to him with wide eyes.

Magnus looked at Ragnor, trying to parse together what was happening. Were they trying to find someone? Nothing he heard made sense. Dormant? What is that even supposed to mean? Magnus leaned on the doorframe, keeping his eyes on Ragnor.

“What is happening? Why is he here? I assume you met last night… or apparently, you two know each other.” Barely sparing a glance at Alec, Magnus made sure Ragnor knew who his questions were directed at. This whole situation was weird and Magnus could feel his morning headache coming back full force.

“Magnus—you’re early. Can you give us time to finish talking, and then I’ll explain everything?” Ragnor’s voice was calm and collected, but his eyes looked panicked, clearly still surprised at his unexpected appearance.

“Why can’t you just explain now? You’re obviously looking for someone, maybe I can help?” Even if Magnus was angry at Ragnor for keeping secrets from him, he was willing to give his best friend a chance.

“Later, Magnus. Can you wait for me in the kitchen please?”

“Am I a child now?” Anger bubbled up through Magnus. He knew he was younger than both of his friends, but they had never treated him like Ragnor was doing now. He could feel the hurt lashing out of him with jaded words.

“You’re certainly acting like one. What’s gotten into you? Can’t you just do as you’re told once in your life?” Magnus saw horror flash through Ragnor’s eyes as he realised what he’d said. He could feel his own anger setting in around him, like an armor ready to deflect everything coming his way. Magnus had to take a moment to breathe and remind himself that he was talking to Ragnor and not anyone else before glaring back.

“Fine. But if you take too long, I am leaving.” He turned and heard Ragnor swear under his breath before he was out of the room and on his way to the kitchen.

He felt like a child being ordered away from the adults because they were talking about serious matters and his opinion wasn’t valued. It made his blood boil.

Magnus threw his coat on a chair in the kitchen, remembering too late about the little flower pot in the front pocket. He rushed to check, sighing once he could see that the little cactus was okay. Ragnor was definitely not worthy of receiving this little gift, he’d keep it and bitch about the big Ragnor to the little one.

Rubbing his temple, Magnus tried to calm himself and looked around the kitchen for a distraction. There was a half-empty, ornate glass bottle of something beside two glasses on the counter. It proved to be distraction enough, Magnus had never seen any liquid like that. It reminded him of liquid gold, catching the kitchen light and nearly glowing.

Shrugging to himself, he poured a small amount into a new glass, just to see what it tasted like and if he could recognise it. Ragnor surely owed him a drink, anyway. It smelled sweet and familiar but Magnus couldn’t think of any place he’d ever would have seen or tasted something like this. He held up the glass to the light, without the layer of cut crystal from the bottle obscuring it, the liquid looked even more like shimmering gold as Magnus sloshed it around.

At the sound of Ragnor’s steps approaching the kitchen, Magnus downed the drink in one gulp without a second thought. It tasted delicious, like summer and fruits, it smelled eerily like flowers and springtime. Magnus felt it settling in his stomach, warmth spreading through his body. Ragnor stepped into the kitchen, his gaze locking to the glass in his hand with horror. Ragnor called out to him, and Magnus felt himself sway before everything went black.

He was sure he was dreaming. Everything around him was a little fuzzy and he had trouble concentrating on anything in particular. When he moved too fast the world would swim before allowing him to catch up.

For some inexplicable reason, it was cold. He was sure it shouldn’t be this cold. Magnus tried to make sense of the situation, drawing his brows together. Looking around, he could see the nature struggling to fight back the harsh winter. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Everything was black and dead, the trees looming high and casting dark and cold shadows on everything below. Icy wind howled as Magnus looked around again, trying to understand where he was.

Nothing made sense. Magnus tried to connect what he was seeing to what he knew but it just wouldn’t. He knew that by this time of the year, everything around him should be alive and blooming, but all he saw was a gray landscape.

The only warmth Magnus felt was running through his body, but it felt hotter and restless than it should, like it wanted to break out and escape. Looking down at his hands, he saw golden sparks flying off his fingers and smiled, not scared one bit. Extending his hands in front of him he willed the sparks to fly from his fingers to share his warmth with his surroundings.

In a flash, everything came alive. The trees and flowers bloomed around him and he felt the energy dancing around his body, like he was a part of everything around him.

Magnus knelt on the grass, feeling warmer than he could ever remember being.

Alec looked worriedly at Magnus in Ragnor’s arms. They had forgotten they’d left the Ambrosia on the table, and now a mortal had tasted it. But even for a mortal, this was an unusual reaction. Usually they’d get a high, especially considering the small amount that Magnus took. The worst that could have happened was that Magnus would have gotten really horny, Alec’s seen that effect. But no, Magnus had slumped into his best friend’s arms and failed to respond to anything.

Alec reassured Ragnor that Magnus wasn’t dying; he could see his string bright and red disappearing right into Magnus’ chest with no sign of darkening. In fact, he watched as the string changed right before his eyes, growing brighter and hotter, slowly shifting from red into hues of gold. Alec blinked, trying to comprehend what was happening. He’d never seen anything like this.

A gasp from Magnus made Alec jump and watch in anticipation. The air around them shifted and shivered, Alec’s jaw dropping as golden lines that looked like blooming flowers and leaves appeared and disappeared on Magnus’ skin. They started from his fingertips, traveling up his forearms, vanishing under his clothes only to reappear on his neck, over his face and finally disappearing around his eyes. When Magnus took another breath and opened his eyes, they glowed an eerie, bright gold. Ragnor tried calling to him again, only to have Magnus slump back to unconsciousness.

Then a wave of familiar energy crashed into Alec from Magnus' limp body. Alec’s shocked mind couldn’t wrap around what just happened, and he was left speechless as he and Ragnor exchanged knowing glances. He’d never heard of this before. A mortal receiving a golden string that matched his own. The painfully familiar magic ran through his body, causing shivers and goosebumps in its wake, leaving him with a familiar buzz. Alec couldn’t believe it.

They had found Persephone.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #fanfiction #hades and persephone #persephone!magnus #hades!alec #mine #ficrec

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c-rankin93 · 7 years

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SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.14

A/N: This chapter is written a bit different. You see what Rae is going through but it's through third persons pov, I think it just flows better. And Finn is also going through some memories of what the doctor has said, so view them as little flash backs. Hope you like it. And the ending will leave you thinking.... Wot? 😂 UNEDITED AS USUAL! --- CHAPTER FOURTEEN: AFTERMATH --- Her blackness faded into light. Pigments of colour danced in her vision. Red. Red, everywhere. Red from the blood that soaked her body. Red from the flashing lights that surrounded her. Red from the uniforms that she could see. The pain no longer bothered her the more she faded from this life to another. 'Hold on ma'am' Those same words yelled to her a thousand times, but what was she to hold on too? She just watched the blood drip like sweat from her brow. Danging in the balance, like her life. 'Stay awake' But she didn't want too. Her eyes grew heavy again, no energy to reply to the people who attempted to talk to her. 'Just a little nap' she thought to herself. Sleeping is better then feeling the pain, but she didn't know what pain she was was referring too, because her heart felt just as heavy. 'Sleep now' a voice so distance spoke to her. The light got brighter, the screaming got louder. Fragments of colour blurred her vision until it merge into white. White. But this time she felt different. Her body fell, slowly but surely. -- FINN POV: Have you ever been so consumed by your emotions that you forget where you are, what your doing? Nothing around you exist accept this one thought that gets drummed into your head at a steady beat. Dun dun, dun dun, dun dun. Where you couldn't smell the foul stench of disinfectant in the environment your in, because you were remembering the smell of her hair? I lost myself today. I didn't see it coming. It was an automated response, mind over matter. I knew that people around me where crying because this traumatic event. Rae wasn't the only one in that Collison. Several people lost their lives, others lost their entire world. I could feel Ruby shift against me, asleep but restless. My arm latching onto her small figure, whilst my other had a firm grip to Joshua's hand. I needed to touch them, to feel the warmth of their skin on my fingertips. The thud of ruby's heart beat on my leg was just an added bonus. I couldn't move. I don't even understand how I'm still breathing. It's was just silence within myself, memories playing over and over. 'Family of Rachel Earl?' I remembered when the doctor came into view. He looked tired, and stress was evident around his eyes. He was a tall man, that looked on the better side of 40. 'When Rachel was brought in she was in critical condition...' I looked to my family. Slumped together on the plastic chairs talking quietly. They hadn't made a move to go home, maybe it's because they were worried I would break. Or they too felt the pain of knowing what happened to Rae. 'Her injuries where so severe that we had to place her in a barbiturate-induced coma straight after surgery...' I wondered why her boyfriend wasn't here. I knew he wasn't involved in the car accident, but I did know that Rae was with him tonight. She had confessed to me that she needed to tell Gregory what had been playing on her mind and I agreed that she was doing the right thing. Of course my answer was purely selfish, secretly I hoped that this would be the end of their relationship, that he would walk and Rae would come back to me with no hesitation. 'Her femur was broken in three places, due to the trauma it suffered during the accident...' I hadn't spoke to anyone other then my children since arriving at the hospital. I didn't bother trying to eat, my stomach couldn't function just like the rest of my body. Three cups a coffee had gotten me this far. 'She has a large contusion to the far left side of her head, which when she arrived still had fragments of glass still lodged in the wound...' I just needed to see her. I needed to hold her, kiss her. Love her. I couldn't imagine what she looked like on that hospital bed, alone in that sterile room. The silence that would surround her when she needed us the most. 'The seat belt she was wearing saved her life, but it also caused some internal bleeding when it tightened against her...' The doctors still haven't told us when we can go see Rae yet, even though she came out of surgery 3 hours ago. I knew I had to start thinking about what was going to happen with the kids, but I didn't want to let them go just yet, and I couldn't leave Rae. 'The next 24 hours will be touch and go, but if she survives the night her chances of waking up from this, double. You need to pray, because it's in God's hands now...' I know Rae will survive this. I had to believe that she was strong enough to fight off death, that she would crawl her way back to us and stay forever. From here on out we were forever, no Gregory, no Olivia. Just us, and our beautiful children. "Finn?" I looked towards my brother. His eyes danced around my face, unsure of what his next move was. "You need to go home and get some rest." "No." "Finn-" "I said no Archie!" My voice was stern. There was no way I was leaving her before I even got the chance to see her. Broken or not she was my everything. I still remember the vows we took, and I promised her we would face life together. Even if it resulted in death. "What about Ruby and Joshua?" He asked. I looked down at the sleeping angels and felt my heart strings pull. I didn't know how to be a full time single father. I didn't know how to cope when things go horribly wrong. Work was one thing but raising children was another. She had to survive, for me, for us. "I'll hire a room for them to sleep in.." I simply replied. My attitude remained nostalgic, there was no need to change just to make someone else happy. "I'm not leaving until I know Rae is going to be Ohkay. The doctor said the next 24 hours will be touch and go, so I'm not leaving until then." "But-" he stop when he saw the look I gave him. I wasn't in the mood to be told what to do. I understand that I'm being selfish by keeping them here, but they needed me just as much as I needed them. "Where is she?" A voice called from down the hall. At first I didn't think anything of it, that was until the man's face came into sight. Gregory stood before us. He had looked like he had been dragged through hell and back. I could tell he had been crying, and my heart just dissolved. This man truly cares for the women I love, the women I would risk my life for. "Is she Ohkay? What's going on?" Everyone stayed silent for a minute. No doubt trying to figure out what to say to him. When Robert stood, I felt like I could breath easier I really didn't want to be the one to tell Gregory what was going on. "She was involved in a collision as you know. She has a broken leg, head contusion and internal bleeding..." Robert mumbled. "We-we don't know if she'll make it." Linda bursted into a fit of tears, Izzy and Chloe included. Just having to hear the words being repeated felt like I was being stabbed, over and over again. "Its all my fault..." he whispered. Unfortantly for him I had heard. "What do you mean it's your fault?" I asked. I moved Joshua and Ruby so I could stand in front of Gregory. Everyone in our proximity had stopped what they had been doing, including Linda who was currently blowing her nose into Karim's shirt. "I-I just mean.. We uh- we had a uh-" "Just spit it out already!" I hissed. I pulled out of Mark's grip when he grabbed my shoulder to remind me where we were, but I just wanted to know what the fuck Greg was talking about. "We had a fight at the restaurant" he said simply. "She broke up with me and left when she found out-" "Found out what Gregory!" "Found out I was the father of another woman's baby. Your woman actually Finn." "What?" "I'm the father of Olivia's baby, not you. The DNA will prove that" he breathed. My breathing became irratic, I couldn't seem to get enough air into my body. The anger seemed all to much, because for before I could second guess myself I was throwing Gregory into the wall behind him. "You and Olivia were sleeping together behind our backs!" I sneered bring my face even closer. This time Mark didn't stop me, neither did Julian or Robert. They knew he didn't deserved the benefit of the doubt. "No! It happened once! We were both drunk, and she was my ex girlfriend from high school. We were just talking, and it just happened!" His excuse was poor, he should of just used the 'I tripped and fell in there' excuse that would of been more plausible. I wasn't mad over the fact Olivia had cheated on me; I knew she had when she told me she was pregnant. I was pissed off at the fact they slept with each other when all I've ever wanted was Rae back in my life. They had cheated on us, before we were even talking again, and for that I was fucking mad. I grabbed the skinny prick by his throat and slammed him into the wall again. I watched his head bounce off the hard white surface, and it gave me a great deal of pleasure. "Your the father to that Whore's baby? You knew what Rae went through with me, even if it is all bullshit! And you still cheated on her" I yelled directly into his face whilst I held his throat tighter. His hands went to mine in a desperate attempt to pry them away, to no success. His breathing was becoming minimal and I was enjoying myself. "Did you know that too? That Olivia, your whore made up this whole cheating scandal? She is behind every fucking catalyst in mine and Rae's lives!" I held on tighter. "FINN!" "Shut up Dad! This bastard here is the reason Rae was in the car accident! Tell me Gregory how did she find out?" I let go of him once the light shade of blue tinged the colour of his cheeks. His body sagged to the ground, and I looked down in victory. "She overheard the conversation between Olivia and I at the restaurant" he cried softly into his hands, and not once did I feel sorry for the peice of shit. I could of been with Rae weeks ago, but because of her feelings towards Gregory had her confused I stepped back. We both did. She gave him a chance to prove himself and he fucked up, and because of that the love of my life lay in a hospital bed. "You don't deserve to be here" Robert spoke calmly, almost too calmly. "You've done enough, don't you think? So just leave!" "I still love her.." "You don't fucking love her! If you did, you would never have done to her the one thing you promised you would never would do! You fucked up Gregory, and now my sister is in hospital. So if I was you, i would leave and never show your face again. Because next time I see you, i will break your fucking legs, and that's a promise!" Robert said then turned to walk over the the nurses station, ignoring the looks he was currently getting from strangers. "Leave!" I picked him up by the collar and threw him towards the exit, then found my seat again. Thank God Ruby and Joshua had managed to sleep through the incident that just happened. I sunk down on my seat and pulled their small bodies towards me. At that precise moment Dr. Hyme; Rae's doctor, had walked into the waiting room. His words had caused the first of many tears to be unleashed. "There has been some complications with Rae's condition..." --- @mallyallyandra @i-dream-of-emus @l88cym @lily-pop-2 @luly310 @tinakegg @arathewallflower @hey1tskat1e @milymargot @milllott @mmfdfanfic @eveerez @lurkernolonger

#MMFD #my mad fat diary fan fic #fanfiction #my mad fat diary

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