#JJK's story has always been about death and the tragedy of it

[gojosbf]

hi i just saw ur post about how gege forced his audience to confront what happens when you reject death and i 100% agree w you. i feel like some people who are reading jjk have forgotten that jjk is not about gojo finding a happy ending, jjk is and always has been about the larger themes of systemic oppression and how harmful it is, and about how love and the loss of youth is in direct opposition to things like duty and sacrifice. it feels like people have lost the larger plot along the way while being swept up in the idea of 'i love this character so much' and can't look at the story as a whole if anything bad happens to that character. idk i feel like i'm in the minority of loving 261; gege certainly isn't without faults as a writer but the story implications and the reinforcement of all those themes was rly well done i think! i would have loved for gojo to come back and i'm very sad that yuuta's been forced to do what he did but it all feels very earned imo like it doesnt feel (to me) like gege is just making this up on the fly

exactly!! i will never say gege is the greatest writer ever (looking at all the characters he had to kill because he didn't know what to do with them and how he handles his female characters) BUT he does write great plot twists. of course everyone was going to hate the chapter when it first came out, i did too!! that's my gojo how dare you treat him like that?? but then as a tragedy enjoyer, someone who loves pain and a consistent theme and parallel plays it tastes sweeter in a bitter wine way the more you sit with it. we can go back to the beginning of the manga the theme from there till now in this latest chapter it just has one main motive: "doing what you need to do to win, to save the people you care about." so even if it sucks atleast it sucks good.

[neonscandal]

some questions about jujutsu I would appreciate it if you could answer me. 1. do you think megumi and itadori are a comparison to geto and gojo? 2. What do you find most tragic about geto and gojo's relationship? 3.if geto didn't exist, who would you ship gojo with? ps; I would ship toji and gojo.

Answering these out of order to hide spoilers!

3. If Geto didn't exist, I would ship Gojo with Nanami. Nanami would be bothered 600% of the time.

2.Most tragic is the fact that, while Gojo always looked at Geto's soul and accepted him unconditionally, Geto thought their relationship was over the moment he chose to leave Jujutsu High and they never reconciled this disparity while living. If you want an exhaustive list of the things that rot my brain and prevent me from remembering basic things like my childhood and the Pythagorean theorem, please, feel free to read this recently updated and ongoing list. 😭

Lastly, yes, I think ItaFushi are meant to be a parallel to SatoSugu. See below for why!

⚠️ Spoiler Warning through JJK chapter 247.

The comparison isn't perfect but I don't know that it's meant to be.

I feel like I reference Naruto a lot for having not seen it but I'm pretty sure it's a solid example of the generational failures of the Uchiha clans and the Hidden Leaf Village as overcome by Sasuke and Naruto, respectively.

I think that JJK could be a circular story (check out the Rick & Morty progression, in particular) and that SatoSugu and ItaFushi seem to run as parallels. To simplify, we'll break it up by the OG for parallels:

SATORU

and Megumi (he got blue eyes when he's supposed to have green.. 💎👄💎)

Born of Jujutsu royalty with a familial technique

Familial technique damns them to a burden of responsibility. Gojo became the head of the Gojo clan, Megumi is bought and sold but effectively abdicates his place with the Zenin

When given the chance, relents to leverage the value of his cursed technique to protect others that they deem deserving. Gojo protects Megumi, Yuta and Yuji; Megumi protects Tsumiki and later, Yuji.

In spite of the above, will execute their responsibilities of a sorcerer but will also pick and choose if they will do something outside of that obligation. Think back to Megumi's moral judgement when it came to those in the detention center and Gojo's willingness to act outside of direct orders because... he could.

Just leaving the visual evidence of these little weirdos

and Yuji

The Sun characters but not without shadow.

Blessed births, even though Yuji's was... untraditional, it forged him as a powerful vessel with inhuman strength without a heavenly restriction.

Anomalous strength. Gojo for Six Eyes and Limitless which haven't been seen together in one user in over 100 years. Yuji is able to produce Black Flashes at will and at a rate which is canonically uncommon.

Experienced death and rebirth which brought about change in them. Gojo found enlightenment; Yuji, while in hiding, experienced loss, the tragedy of which marked him noticeably.

They both know the alienation of greatness. Both undergo power ups shattering the ceiling of their previously understood power thresholds and go beyond the comprehension or without the knowledge of their counterparts. Gojo, I think, knew that it would foundationally upset something between he and Geto. Yuji probably just thinks he is getting acclimated to the new world he finds himself within and doesn't realize how insane his glow up has been.

Guilt for not being able to save someone "close to them". Gojo, obviously, with Geto and Yuji with Junpei, initially, but that list has grown. Exponentially.

SUGURU

and Megumi

The Moon characters but they have something worth fighting for that gives them an air of light.

Both believe in and will act on behalf of the weak. Geto believes the strong should protect the weak and keep the strong in check. Megumi believes that if someone cannot observe the basic tenet of don't kill me, I won't kill you, he should exact punishment whether the person infringed on this basic law with him or not.

Despite their code, they still develop or have a discerning application of their morals.

But what happens when that morality is tested? Geto realizes the weak are capable of harm when he discovers the abuse of Nanako and Himiko. Megumi, if he hasn't already, will eventually come to understand that saving Yuji came at the cost of countless lives, including that of Tsumiki, in a way, even if she died by his own hand.

Know intimately the loss of someone they were close with only to find that person returned to them.. but different.

Feeling left behind by the power ups of their counterparts, they are left to their own devices. Notably, Geto spirals into depression and PTSD, Megumi, citing the difference, asks Gojo for additional lessons so he doesn't fall behind.

Doomed by the narrative? or at least by their power. Kenjaku covets Geto's body for the hold it has over Gojo and, possibly, the cursed technique that enabled him to espouse Mahito and Tengen's techniques. Sukuna covets Megumi for Ten Shadows.

Subsequently, both are possessed by something that easily outclasses them but they still are able to rebel when fighting against their counterparts. Geto's corpse strangles Kenjaku in Shibuya; Megumi manipulates how much cursed energy is output when Sukuna fights against Yuji.

Both of them recognize that, despite their counterpart's strength, they are still deserving of concern and worry. This is likely informed by the knowledge of their own weakness and inability to protect.

and Yuji

Outsiders to jujutsu society

Get their power/strength from ingesting something unholy; curses or cursed relics. Either way, both seem to beg the question of how long one can you these things before it poisons something within you?

Earnestly want to help people with a martyr mentality. The idea being, if I am the only one with this power then it's my responsibility to do something; Geto with his role as a sorcerer and Yuji as the only person who can consume Sukuna

Subsequently damned by this noble desire. Geto finds that the sacrifice is no longer palatable after the sacrifices of Riko and Haibara and the abuse of Nanako and Himiko. Yuji experiences survivors' guilt for every slight Sukuna is able to inflict while he continues to live.

A pattern of failure to protect (Riko and Junpei) followed by the loss of a companion (Haibara and Nanami, and what a way for their deaths to mirror one another...) as an impetus for great change in their characters.

The wealth of their goodness has the potential to cause just as big a vacuum of negativity when they break. Arguably this is what pushes the invisible hand that guides the events that radicalizes Geto and informs Mahito's insistence to break Yuji's soul.

Speaking of souls - this idea of their soul's in particularly. Gojo seeing and recognizing Geto's. Mahito feeling the edge of Yuji/Sukuna's soul. We see that Sukuna can aim attacks at Megumi's soul but... why did the goodness in Geto's persist for Gojo to love him unconditionally? How did Yuji's soul withstand external attacks from Mahito and internal attacks from Sukuna?

Where SatoSugu's fatal flaw was hubris, we don't see that with ItaFushi and that, perhaps, is the biggest indication that they're correcting the faults of their forebears while also suffering the repercussions of their failure.

Gege Akutami could absolutely have the whole story end in flames, don't get me wrong. I would 10,000% be invested to the very last page. There's no guarantee that this is a circular story, that any of these characters find peace or that any of them even survive but I can't help but see the similarities, at least as far these four are concerned.

[almightygremlinblob]

Rant about JJK 261 leaks and mild spoilers. Just ignore unless you're passionate about stories like I am or wanna hear what I say or both. This is very, VERY long.

Bro, listen.

LISTEEEN.

I'm not mad at Gege, writing is HARD. Like, legitimately! It's SO difficult to bring a vision - an entire unique world with complex characters - to fruition and CONTINUE that story to its end.

And there's still so much to love about JJK, despite everything.

THAT.

BEING.

SAID.

Some of the choices he's making, writing wise, are just...such missed opportunities for his characters and it's making the story itself suffer.

Part 1 - Sukuna Ryomen

Oh, Sukuna... The strongest sorcerer in history, who wiped out a lot of the families in an era where sorcerers and curses were at their strongest. He was the top dog of top dogs. Blah, blah, blah - WELL ESTABLISHED. Actually, ever since he defeated Gojo that's been established to the audience. And it's been win, after win for him. Which is good, in times of peril - the villain should be competent at what they do and keep the stakes high. That's good. The problem is, the formula - the way that the storyteller goes about showing this - keeps repeating over and over. Now, the fights themselves - as fights - are great. JJK has always had amazing fights and was never lacking in that department. However, the emotional investment the audience has in the fights is waning because it follows pretty much a predictable formula already. Sukuna kills character, another character is hyped up and joins the battle, Sukuna struggles just a bit but is actually just "holding back". Bam. Character dead. Next. There must be casualties, of course, BUT - from a writing standpoint - casualties can be built without diminishing the sacrifices and arcs of other characters. Tragedy can be shown without the expense of the character arcs, because to throw so much into a character without any meaningful conclusion hurts the story itself - and that doesn't necessarily mean they need to accomplish what they set out to do. For example; Choso didn't die to further showcase the cruelty of JJK's world, and how sorcerers are disposable. He didn't die to showcase Sukuna's hatred of Yuuji, and to further fuel Yuuji's hatred of his soul uncle (????). He died just because it's sad that the "doting and responsible big brother" dies and for more casualties. The THEMES surrounding Sukuna, and the entire series in general - of isolation vs. companionship, of old vs new, of strength and what it means to be strong, of love and the burden of it, his fuckin' WORLDVIEW and how it's so true for the world of JJK (that, contrary to most Shounen stories, the world is tragic and unfair and the power of friendship doesn't always work - "love is trash") could be better conveyed than what's essentially a tournament with him as the final boss. It's so frustrating, too, because the way the story goes about it - not only does it take away from the other character's complexities and developments, BUT ALSO HIS. Like, all of his story beats and the character deaths could have been hit in a way that ADDS to Sukuna's threat level while not diminishing the gravity and development of the sacrifices of the other characters. Hell, maybe even adding to them than just - oh, he/she/they're dead now. Sukuna is such a complex character, even in his simplicity, but the WAAY the story shows this makes not just HIS CHARACTER suffer...but EVERYONE ELSE'S TOO!

Can you tell how much I love Sukuna lmao.

Part 2 - Gojo, Geto and Shoko

Oh my GOD, guys. The dynamic between Gojo and Geto - absolute gold. Could they have used Geto to showcase the unfairness of the world MORE? Yes - he was the PRIME candidate for that, even in Kenjaku taking over his body. Gojo though? Killed his role in the story - showcased the themes of love and its burden, of strength = isolation, and the unfairness of the Jujutsu society WHILE easing the audience into the world of JJK? Applause. Absolutely love that for you, honey. HOWEVER; what we got with them was still really, really good. Shoko, though. She was sidelined SO HARD. Not only was using Gojo's body as a puppet a chance to showcase even more the unfairness of the cogwheels the sorcerers are placed in - we could have seen the very personal and deep ways that this world, and the lifestyle sorcerers are forced into, affects those within the cogwheel individually. I mean, all her friends from her high school years which she's so "nostalgic for" are DEAD, because of the world she's in, aside from Utahime and Gojo. You'd think she would've protested to using his body in such a way but she was...apparently FINE with it?? WHAT???

Even if she thought he could win, or was actually just nonchalant about it cuz of the many deaths she's already experienced - at least one scene where she's alone with her thoughts, would've been nice as a chance to develop her character and showcase the point above MORE. "I was there, too..." MY ASS, MAN. See? Because of that one little thing, now this line is just completely empty and Shoko's character suffers. The trio's entire dynamic suffers and so does the "precious/best high school years" bit. Did all of it actually mean anything to the characters or are they beating that point just for drama? It just becomes Geto x Gojo drama (which, to be fair, I do love BUT-) Shoko, you poor girl. You were completely wasted potential and I just...feel so bad for her, oh my GOD. Not to mention pretty much ALL of the women cast of JJK - although, strangely enough, Yorozu (and even Kashimo) accomplished what she was there to do; which was to propose the "love" part and how it relates to Sukuna's character. So good on you, you beautiful, beautiful simp(s).

Part 3 - Yuuji Itadori

Oh my sweet boy... ...who keeps getting sidelined as the protagonist. Don't get me wrong, he's been having more of a spotlight lately and I am SO HAPPY for that - because not only has he earned it, he has the biggest reasons to defeat Sukuna and gain his current wins. And even when he's embraced being part of the cogwheel, his beef with Sukuna is PERSONAL. He doesn't even want to see him suffer or anything. No, Yuuji just wants him DEAD - then he moves on to the next curse. Then when he's supposedly "surpassed Gojo in potential" he just... Keeps getting sidelined???

Part 4 - Kenjaku

...

Do I REALLY need to say anything?

Again, I am not mad at the state of JJK right now. Only confused. If I wanted to be mad, I'd look at RWBY's back and forth writing. As I've said, writing is DIFFICULT. It is SO insanely difficult to bring a world to life and continue its story to the end. And I can only imagine the pressure of having it blow up like it has these past years. BUT BRO...

MY GOD BRO.

WHAT IS HAPPENING BRO.

[firein-thesky]

cielo you're smarter than me or at least more eloquent

can you explain why jjk upsets me to no end but csm doesn't at all?? I feel like I can trust fujimoto, even though heinous stuff happens in csm too

anon hfkjdksja i am not quite sure but i can endeavor to answer!!

gonna put this under a cut in case it gets long!!

jjk and csm spoilers below the cut!!

mostly, i think it’s because csm is very precise and thoughtful with its story, even if the story is sad. in csm part one, no panel is wasted. even their “down time” serves to further relationships, plot, or emotional ties. i think jjk at one point was pretty thoughtful, though not quite as laser-focused as csm. mostly, i chalk this up to writer experience. jjk is akutami’s first published manga. fujimoto has had a couple other works published previously and is a pretty seasoned writer.

i think, at the end of the day, few stories are as clean as csm has been so far. jjk was always written quickly, similar to csm, but i think at points it lacks finesse. i think especially as we enter later parts of jjk, like the culling games, where we lost track of our main protags for an insanely long amount of time to give room to many characters who were only recently introduced and we had little connection to as an audience, only to get our protags back and then effectively…lose them again in many ways?

like sukuna moving into megumi’s body, getting gojo back and then killed, etc.

not to say every moment in jjk is bad, but it is sloppy at points. and that is something csm is rarely, if ever so far. there are also a ton of strange plots that akutami introduced and then has done nothing with? or plots lines akutami has effectively done away with.

more than that, jjk has (in my eyes) officially fumbled the “best female characters in shonen” lol after losing nobara, though maki’s arc is compelling, it’s pretty much trashed all the rest. csm, on the other hand, has only doubled down in part two in making asa its protagonist and creating a very complex, emotionally compelling female lead. nayuta/makima is also interesting and well written. i also think this is why csm is not as popular/as beloved or as talked about as jjk. i think a lot of people are subconsciously or consciously not interested in women or their stories and therefore find csm “more boring” but that’s another conversation.

overall, i think jjk is so frustrating because it does not feel planned out, thoughtful, or intentional at points so it’s deaths or ‘tragedy’ feels a little hollow. wasted, if you will. whereas csm, even if it’s sad or we lose our favorite character, we can tell, even just instinctively, that it had purpose and drive to the story, themes, and ideas csm is presenting.

(i also have another conversation entirely on this whole ‘jjk is a tragedy’ spiel because i kind of disagree…or think it’s a very poorly written one as tragedy is a genre in and of itself. but i won’t get into it now—if you’re curious, i can talk about it in another ask or something!!)

i didn’t get into specifics too much—but if you wanted, i could also do that!! i hope this answered your question somewhat haha but ultimately, what you feel is for you to say!!

[ultfreakme]

What did you think of Saturo Gojo's death? Was it a forced and anticlimactic death? Do you think he can come back to life again? If he comes back will he lose his powers? Thank you for always answering our questions.

Initially I was disappointed and felt it to be anticlimatic because Gojo v Geto/Kenjaku has been built up since JJK 0. The strongest sorcerer and the worst curse user! Former friends(lovers), current enemies(exes)! The set-up seemed like it was Sukuna v Yuuji and Kenjaku v Gojo.

But after some time, I get it, tbh. Yuuta was the MC of JJK 0 and his animosity with Geto has already been set up. Gojo himself brings up Yuuta when mentioning fighting Kenjaku so this was a long time coming. It makes sense to me now why Yuuta dealt the killing blow. Love is a curse, Gojo killing Kenjaku would curse Geto indirectly again and Gojo doesn't want to do that again, ever.

The only other opponent left is Sukuna and the final fight with him will HAVE to be Yuuji. There's no other choice.

With Kenjaku gone, Sukuna weakened, and Yuuji growing strong, there's no point in Gojo returning. What's he gonna do if he returns? With or without his powers? He also got what he wanted.

Raise a group of sorcerers who work together for the common good? Check

Have Geto's body put to rest? Indirectly check because Yuuta is his student and he trusted him on that

Find someone he can be on equal grounds with and finally be understood in his loneliness? CHECK

Find satisfaction? Check. He said he's happier in his death dream/actual purgatory/ airport afterlife thing. The two people who could make him satisfied were Sukuna and Geto. Sukuna gave him the best fight of his life where he actually had to work and got the chance to go all out, Geto's dead so in life, he can't do anything about what he wants from Geto. Dream or not, Gojo finally met Geto again, he WANTS that meeting to be real. Bringing him out of it is just going to take away whatever peace he found in fighting Sukuna and speaking with Geto.

Gojo's story is done. He'd be redundant now. The only big bad left is Sukuna, and whatever Kenjaku has planned could probably be dealt with by the rest of the cast (it's a fucking powerful cast too). It's time for the new gen.

I also can't see Gege wanting to bring him back when he has stated a bunch of times how difficult it is to write Gojo. Practically speaking I think he could do RCT and come back. but like, I don't see it happening.

I do have one scenario in which I'd like to see him revived; He makes a binding vow or something which sacrifices his Six Eyes in exchange for an extra few minutes(heheh 6 minutes maybe) of living where he can assist the kids and he's back to being dead again after the time is up. An encouraging message to Yuuta and Yuuji maybe and bye-bye.

If he does come back to full-time, his story arc might be about defining himself outside of being 'The Honored One' but lbr he'd be fucking miserable because all his friends sans Shoko are dead. Does Gojo WANT to define himself outside of his powers? I've never seen him express the desire to lower himself, only that he wishes others would rise to his level. This is, I think, the best way to end his story. A tragedy, a young god.

The only thing keeping me not depressed is the idea of the after life being seemingly canon in JJK so hey, maybe Gojo will find happiness, a long life and satisfaction in his next life cycle?

Also thanks for sending all these asks I adore answering them, it gets my brain juices flowing, I love looking deeper into my fandoms and their stories!

[voxofthevoid]

Writing Log: Annual Word Count 2023

Last year's log can be found here.

January: 59,865

February: 62,331

March: 20,071

April: 60,438

May: 63,672

June: 60,627

July: 64,238

August: 45,874

September: 40,596

October: 40,209

November: 40,236

December: 34,211

Total: 592,368

That's over 300k more than my 2022 total word count (269,259). In case anyone's wondering what JJK has been doing to my poor brain, it's this. The mid-year count (Jan to June) was 391,050 words. I slowed down somewhat in the second half. Let's see what 2024 brings!

I'm taking my JJK/goyuu obsession into 2024, though as always, I have very little control over what I write for. My backlogs for Bleach/grimmichi and MCU/stucky are considerably thinner than they were at the beginning of 2023, but I still have a few fics to post for both. My JJK backlog, however, is an utter beast, so I'll be haunting those tags more frequently.

Happy new year, folks 🎇

Fic-wise split can be found under the cut:

isolation neophyte, too afraid to taste your conscience [JJK, goyuu, Nanami PoV of de-aged Gojou]: 5,316

there’s a lover in the story, but the story’s still the same [JJK, goyuu, Yuuji PoV of de-aged Gojou]: 36,347

for granted, in vain, I took everything I ever cared about [JJK, goyuu, Gojou PoV of the de-aging aftermath]: 41,455

baby blue, they paid you to take my youth and use it up [JJK, goyuu, role reversal a/b/o dubcon heatfic]: 44,711

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told [JJK, goyuu, time travel ft. Gojou/Yuuji/Gojou]: 47,971

your body language on me tells me to be unholy [JJK, goyuu, train groping and alley sex]: 12,840

i’m starving, darling, let me put my lips to something [JJK, goyuu, Gojou  tiddyfucking]: 8,460

your resistance, prophetic self-destruction [JJK, goyuu and chosoita, post-Shibuya vore fic]: 40,712

break my patience, corrupt my sacred art [JJK, goyuu, fluffy drunken dubcon]: 21,807

(let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered [JJK, goyuu, canon divergence where Yuuji chooses death and Gojou kidnaps him]: 119,196

the ghost in me was true (but you were haunted too) [JJK, goyuu, amnesiac!Yuuji fic]: 73,468

(and he had said) darling, your looks can kill, so now you’re dead [JJK, goyuu, age reversal fuckfest]: 14,424

everything burned, as promised [JJK, goyuu, post-236 time travel tragedy]: 67,687

my sycophantic playmate [JJK, goyuu, post-canon overstim porn]: 5,744

(the euphoric taste of your tears) swallow it, darling [JJK, goyuu, role reversal cigarette play porn]: 11,718

taking the flesh is the only virtue [JJK, nanaita and goyuu omegaverse heat sex]: 40,512

[helenarasmussen87]

JJK 261

Can't guarantee that I won't have spoilers, so to be on the safe side, it's under a cut, and I will tag accordingly.

I wasn't sure about Gojo returning in the last chapter and I suspected that it was a trick of sorts with how Gege works.

And I hate that I was right in chapter 261.

I am sad that Gojo has to be utilised like this even after his death. I get that JJK is first and foremost a tragedy, but how Gojo's character and death was handled was done very poorly and it feels spiteful and reactionary.

I've always thought Gojo dying was a mistake due to him being needed to be there at the end for a *group effort* if he was to be debilitated, take out Six Eyes and just let him fight alongside the others. But to bring him back as a corpse and then have *Yuta* be the one to die and sacrifice himself in his place is poor writing and a betrayal of the character and what he stood for.

People are saying he came back once and he should stay dead, but I disagree that he should. He should come back, but as a human sorcerer rather than the Six Eyes so he has completed his enlightenment and helped save his students and fulfil his goals.

All his students dying (Honestly, at this point, even Yuuji is looking to be on borrowed time), and the others being left with a wasteland is not even a pyrrhic victory at best. It's just sloppy writing.

And all the deaths are pointless and cruel. It also feels like shock value for the sake of shock value for the sacrifice of good writing.

Chainsaw man had a ton of deaths also, but they felt justified in the way the narrative was shaping up. They made sense. As painful as they were, they worked within the narrative.

These deaths don't. And it feels cheap and cruel and pointless. It feels like Gege lost the thread ages ago, got mad at the theories and decided to do this.

I also am very aware that the themes are exploitation and sacrifice, and Gojo is the latest in the string of them... But to have his corpse be the weapon instead of him smacks of plain awfulness and just being cruel to the audience just to be edgy.

Not to mention that Yuuji gets sidelined and if he survives...What's the point? His teacher, his friends, they're all gone. Gojo's goals failed.

Gojo isn't even in my top ten characters, but how he was handled was badly done and as much as I'm reading this story...I can't say that it achieved what it said that it would achieve.

Especially since there are a ton of rebirth symbols regarding Gojo and haven't been addressed.

From a storytelling perspective, JJK has been a major letdown.

I've read bleaker works and I've been fine with how they were handled. But this series has definitely disappointed in that regard.

I did say that this would be like AoT in that it wouldn't stick the landing.

I hate that I was right.

[yuujispinkhair]

dued i saw someone say the panel words under sukuna said 'a wedding is on the line when a war is about to break out'. and i am like what!? sukuna better not be getting married i will go into the at manga and fight him.

Also how do you feel about people saying they hate the maga of jjk now. them saying the writting is poor and its losing its touch and something about the season 2 art looks bad

Heyyy babe <3<3 Oh, I think that part about the wedding was in chapter 217 because Yorozu challenged Sukuna to a fight, and if she wins, she wants him to marry her. Sukuna was like, "Yeah, whatever. You will not win against me anyway. But in the unlikely case that I would lose, defeat is like death to me, so you can do anything you like to my "corpse"." LMAOOO he was dramatic. I love him so much!! But from what I see, Sukuna wasn't interested in Yorozu a thousand years ago, and he isn't interested in her now. It's a one-sided crush.

And about the hate some people have for JJK and Gege: I think the problem isn't the story. It is certain "fans" who forgot the nature of the source material or who think fictional characters are real people etc.

Tbh I blocked a lot of people during the last few weeks because of their negativity toward the current chapters and because of their hate toward Gege. I think mostly it is antis who cry about what they think is incest in the current chapters because Sukuna is inhabiting Megumi's body and Yorozu is inhabiting Tsumiki's body. It's ridiculous really, but every other post in the spoilers tag was about this. I blocked all of them. But yeah, I think antis are trying to drag JJK and Gege through the dirt because they think the manga is pRobLeMaTiC. I really hope they will do everyone a favor and just stop reading the manga. Like, if you don't enjoy something, then please leave it behind and read or watch something you actually enjoy. It will bring you much more peace and happiness.

Personally, I enjoy the current chapters a lot! I love that we see the main characters again and that we get lots of plot. I wasn't a big fan of the culling game because, for my taste, there were too many fights with too many new characters. I am just not interested in those, and I don't understand the cursed techniques anyways. So that wasn't for me, but I know that fights are a big part of the genre and that there are lots of people who enjoy those and love to analyze them. So it is absolutely ok that those fights played a big part. Personally, I am happy that we get more plot again atm and that we see our beloved old characters again <3

So yes, I think everyone got things they enjoy. The story had it all: Plot, fights, new characters, old characters, big plot twists, some fanservice, etc. So I don't understand why people would say it isn't good. Especially the latest chapters are super interesting, I think.

Sometimes I feel like, people are too used to living in their fandom bubble and that's why they complain about canon. For example, I saw some people say that they don't like how comedy-like the Sukuna and Yorozu chapters are while such tragedy is happening to Megumi and Yuuji. But I don't understand this since JJK has always been filled with humor like that, and it is one of the things that I love the most about it.

[psychewritesbs]

I'm waiting for what happens next with megumi's character to decide whether I like the yorozu vs sukuna fight. I could really see myself liking it if he plays it off by showing us the tragedy of how tsumiki's death was made a mockery considering reggie's curse, and how he couldn't even have a last talk with her you know? It still surprises me that he's one of the few who didn't at least speak to his loved one before they died and for now, how tsumiki and her relationship to megumi was done still seems lazy to me. In addition, i think if tsumiki was always dead from the beginning of the story and we knew of that, it would have settled more for me because then megumi really was a fool for chasing an impossible goal, and you know maybe we would be given some flashbacks of the kind of person she was, but at least i wouldn't think she was wasted as much now. Personally, the fact that he wants this story to end does have me worried for how he'll handle these characters, and he's valid in wanting it since his conditions probably aren't good, but well, I can still dislike those choices he makes, but I do try to have the patience to continue reading anyway, and now that's on me lol

I do love that we saw him cry though. I don't care that he didn't do something like Maki or Yuji with fighting back, so that criticism doesn't bother me so much, but I love it because tsumiki was and still is his person and sometimes that's enough to make me emotional over him, but knowing why or when that started would have given it that good push. Plus, a character like megumi crying of all things hits me good, but I understand why people wouldn't like the moment, but I'm patient and considerate enough to wait to see how it plays out

My own wish, but I would love it if gege would delve into and point out how a lack of responsible adults in megumi's life who cared about the siblings' wellbeing affected how he grew up. I know tsumiki filled that role, but I feel that because she was a child too, there were gaps in how megumi's mind was shaped in the end because I do believe adults add value to the minds of children to guide and help them experience good and bad things you know. Plus, it seems more probable to me that megumi was never told words of wisdom from adults by the time hes a tween because how do you end up on that type of the morality scale with self sacrificial tendencies. Plus, Tsumiki, my girl, how did shouldering that weight make her feel. She was still a child too, so there must have been things she couldnt answer or do and end up frustrated as a result, so, I guess I want to know how it affected them both, but that's a dream

Also, I'm iffy on sukuna vs yorozu simply because I did not like how either of the two were written here. I personally felt annoyed with yorozu and her sayings and she felt so hollow to me. I know perhaps it was gege's intention, but I hated how bored sukuna was. He wasn't taking her seriously enough for me to care about what she said and did either, and he clearly has opinions over the topic of love and the such so it annoyed me how gege treated her like some joke when he could have had sukuna act more condescending, but still engaging with the topic to balance it out, but it felt like yorozu was talking to a wall. I don't even think he had to be interested with her, but having them both engage with this theme of love and loneliness could have led me to enjoy the fight more. But, again, if these were his intentions with the mockery and everything, I'll respect those choices anyways

YO! Welcome to JJK-Sunday Confessionals (published not on a Sunday). I have been getting asks from people telling me about how much they don't like jjk and I feel like I'm holding JJK-Sunday Confessionals as a result 🤣.

Ehem. First, I feel like I've rewritten my response several times. So as per usual, thanks for the patience. I also suck at time management (clearly), so.... again, thanks for your patience anon.

Second, thanks for stopping by and sharing your #thoughts. I agree with a lot, and not that I necessarily disagree with other things, I just feel like it comes back to personal taste and preference.

I think with how long it's taken me to answer your ask (soooorryyyyy), a lot of things have changed. Anyways, here we go.

Word vomit under the cut.

Re the whole ordeal with Tsumiki

I totally get where you're coming from because I personally still don't know how I feel about Tsumiki and what happened to her.

I mean... I can mental gymnastics the hell out of it as a way to make meaning of what happened honestly, have we met?, but in the end, I also wanted to know the real Tsumiki, not Megumi's imagination or perception of Tsumiki, but the flawed girl who got sucked into this mess.

I mean just look at how she's depicted in Megumi's memory:

She's surrounded by Japanese White Lilies (which symbolize purity) against a sparkly background, her cheeks are blushed... she's straight out of a Shojo manga.

Honestly, one of the things I love about Gege's character work is that his characters are flawed. As she stands, as a character, Tsumiki is an incredibly 1-dimensional, self-insert type character. So I can totally see why you feel like it was a lazy execution.

Not only did she get fridged, her role is also basically that of a plot device for Megumi's development. As a result, she's literally just this Sleeping Beauty whose ideal and morals have to be protected because, in Megumi's eyes, she can't do it herself. Her one flaw is nagging on Megumi because "she cares".

And this is not to hate on Tsumiki or Gege's writing... rather, I wonder if the audience never getting to see the real Tsumiki or get more insight into their relationship isn't part of THE point Gege is trying to make given Megumi's lack of psychoemotional maturity.

In other words, he fucked up royally when it comes to Tsumiki and he's not going to be able to fulfill his "fantasy" of being the Knight in shining armor that protects her and makes everything right by apologizing.

That's a though pill Megumi will have to swallow.

To your point of waiting to see more to make up your mind about Sukuna vs Yorozu, I get it.

But look at it this way.

I wonder if part of the reason people are not vibing with the manga as much anymore is because Gege is relying on irony quite a bit, and sometimes people don't vibe with it because it can be very deadpan.

That's just my best guess since I've noticed Gege seems to like using irony quite a bit.

Irony.

Thing is, you can think of how "poetic justice" failed to be served in Tsumiki's situation.

You have aaaaaaall of this crescendo, all of this lead up to saving Tsumiki--

from Megumi's monologues about his regret regarding his behavior towards her and wanting to apologize for it,

to Megumi manifesting a domain because he decided to challenge himself in a situation that directly involved trying to protect her,

To "Tsumiki" waking up because of Kenny,

to Megumi asking others to risk their lives to help him save her,

to Megumi's willingness to do whatever it takes to reach his goal including killing people,

to Tsumiki entering the colony so that she could declaring participation in the CG,

to BAM!

Irony.

As another example on irony in jjk, @linkspooky writes a lot about how characters who think of themselves as the hero/protagonist of the story get punished in jjk, and Megumi utterly and miserably failing to save Tsumiki is definitely a case of that.

Now, according to Writers.com, "irony occurs when a moment of dialogue or plot contradicts what the audience expects from a character or story."

I think it was expected that tragedy would happen at some point or another, but with all of that lead up that Gege set up regarding Tsumiki, and it looking like everything was going to work out in her favor, Gege delivered a heavy dose of irony when he said jk she's been ded 💀.

To your point about Megumi being the only one who didn't get to speak to her before she died unlike other characters, yes. I totally get you. I know several of us wanted to see him apologize to her.

What makes this tragic for me is that...

This is why earlier I said he fucked up royally when it comes to her. It sucks he didn't get to apologize to the real Tsumiki but.. sometimes in life there are no second chances no matter how much you want them. It's a harsh fact of life.

Is there a better character than Megumi who believes that life is unfair to have to face this particular predicament?

2. I love the panel above for several reasons. I have a propensity to overthink, right? And to me, this panel tells a story in the subtext. What if he did apologize but Yorozu was amused by him and just made a fool of him by pretending to be Tsumiki the whole time?

After all, Yorozu could have joined the Culling Game if she wanted to. Instead she played along for her own gain--she got enough points transferred and she used the points to set a rule that would benefit her and her goal of finding Sukuna.

Is all of this cope? Yeah totally 😂.

So anyways. If that helps you see a little deeper into what might have happened and change your mind about it, great; if not, then that's great too because now you know that no matter how much Mental Gymnastics anyone can spin, you don't like Gege's sense of irony.

On JJK ending soon

Personally, the fact that he wants this story to end does have me worried for how he'll handle these characters

OH MAI GAH! I'm assuming you've seen the announcement (from I think the editor) that there's still quite a bit of story left and how jjk is not ending any time soon... omg thank the anime gods!

There was a lot of people making fun of others for being freaked out about jjk's pacing and Gege announcing he wants to end the story "this year" but like... when the mangaka says "I want to finish this story this year" what am I supposed to think?

"Oh, he means to say he has a lot of story left so it most definitively won't be over before some date far into the future"?

NO!

I take the mangaka's words as fact ffs 😂.

Anyways. Please excuse the rant lol. Turns out this might happen quite frequently in the manga industry?

Ma 🍒, @justafrenchlondoner, kept telling me that something similar happened with Naruto but that the manga did not end within the expected timeline.

And not to long ago CLAMP announced that they are not ending Card Captor Sakura Clear Card just yet as they had previously announced.

THAT SAID.

I did share your concern. See... I think that Gege's announcement at the beginning of this year planted a seed in fandom's collective brain. As a result, some of us started perceiving jjk as moving faster than usual.

This is how powerful the power of perception is. Basically, we see the world as we are and not as it is.

This tells me that I need to be more self-aware about my expectations when I read jjk moving forward and I love that you share your own moments.

Megumi

Everything you said about Megumi. YES.

✅ I do love that we saw him cry though

✅ I don't care that he didn't do something like Maki or Yuji with fighting back

✅ I love it because tsumiki was and still is his person

✅ but knowing why or when that started would have given it that good push

✅ Plus, a character like megumi crying of all things hits me good

Ok.

Well, almost everything.

❌ I understand why people wouldn't like the moment

I refuse 😂.

I'll be petty all day long about it because I'm insufferable like that.

So I'm going to officially be obnoxious and gatekeep that moment as a very poignant execution of the event that would usher Megumi's growth. Symbollically, metaphorically, narratively blablabla.

To me, the people who don't like the moment for whatever reason, it just means people don't get Megumi.

Ok I'm done being insufferable and obnoxious.

In the end, it comes back to personal taste, right? 😂

To each their own lol.

ANYWAYS...

My own wish, but I would love it if gege would delve into and point out how a lack of responsible adults in megumi's life

I love this. All of it.

That's what I love about how Megumi is written. His backstory sort of tells you why he is who he is--his character walks a fine line between nature vs. nurture. It's like Gege gets Psychology or something.

So thank you for sharing your thoughts on the Fushigs being forced to grow up and how this experience shapes their sense of self.

Man, sometimes when the brainrot goes deep I get really emotional about Megumi. I swear.

Re: Sukuna vs. Yorozu: having them both engage with this theme of love and loneliness could have led me to enjoy the fight more

Yeah, Yorozu is just such a polarizing character. I can see why people don't like her, but I just found her amusing and loved how deluded she is.

I'm not sure if you know that in Sufism, being in love is another method of "enlightenment". Not sure if that's what Gege was going for, of course, but so far he's given us a nice little tour of comparative religion.

That said, it's nice to see this theme of love and loneliness come back around in chapter 230.

I think a lot of people are worried about the execution of it because when the topic of romantic love is brought up, people seem to think...

But romantic love is not love per se. Romantic love is the fireworks you see when you feel butterflies for the Beloved, sure, but it is really about inner divinity projected upon another human. jjk does not talk about divinity per se, but it does talk about the soul.

As the story continues to unfold, I like what Gege is saying about the love principle. Thing is, psychologically, an overwhelming sense of self does not allow for the relational principle to flourish because ego is by default "separate from" and does not see itself as part of a unifying force that includes the soul, which is itself part of the all (divinity).

Hope that made sense lol.

For that reason I think this motif will continue to unfold and I am curious how that will change Sukuna's character who has no regard for others as a result of an overwhelming sense of self.

Mind you, I don't think he'll become besties with anyone, I just want to see him realize there's a spiritual realm beyond hedonism and ego-driven pursuits... or whatever it is that Gege has in mind for him.

Anyways. That's my hc. Thanks for stopping by and my apologies once again. I need to get better at time management 😭.

[epickiya722]

I think jjk kind of suffer from the phenomenon of "misaimed fandom" a whole lot. I don't know if I can explain it correctly but it's like, the fan base expect the series to be something that it's not. This is a very dense and depressing series with a whole lot of tragedy, horror and death that is just not avoidable with the kind of threats the characters face, people can die, horribly and abruptly, even beloved, sympathetic central characters that you usually expect to be protected by so called "plot armor". And the fandom just, doesn't seem able to handle and accept that most of time, and gets mad and claim it as some sort of betrayal when the manga continue to be exactly what it has always been.

Honestly, I already had a feeling that there was gonna be a lot of suffering up ahead when the Yuuji's grandfather died. I was like "ooooh, yeah, this is gonna be a story of pain, almost anyone can die..."

Then Junpei dies and that was just... "Yep, the mangaka is gonna kill just about anyone in this series".

Rika dies at 11 freaking years old and her death was just horrific.

With Riko, there was that hope spot and then Toji happens! And when that part got animated, I actually wanted to fight. I felt it coming, but a part of me denied it, but how that whole scene played out made me pause, get up and walk around and wonder what the hell happen.

I'll be honest though, they captured that mood well! They played that song, all sincere and it just abruptly stops as Suguru's expression changes as he processes what happened.

Nanami is a character I did not expect to die because he's Nanami, but ooooh boy... I had to lay down for that one. Reminds me of horror movies where characters die even though it seemed like they wouldn't. JJK is in that category of horror for me. It's "Hereditary" to me.

In the case of Satoru, I didn't realize that maybe his fate was foreshadowed before until today when I rewatched some of season 1. That part when Yuuji and him are heading off to see Yaga and Sukuna says how he'd kill Satoru?

Yuuji asks him who is stronger, Sukuna or him? Satoru said Sukuna will no doubt give him a hard time, but he'd win.

That right there told me, yep, when that fight happens it won't be pretty. Anytime a character, especially one that is known to be the strongest, boasts about how they could win?? That is a sign!! And in a series like JJK? It was bound to happen!

Don't get me wrong, I am still upset about what happened to Satoru since I do like his character (he's a fun guy) and just looking at those images is horrifying to me... yikes... and maybe I'm just a little hopeful that something is gonna happen to change that, but I will not be surprised if nothing does.

Like, I prepared myself for the worse, but I still do feel it when the worse happens.

In the meantime, I'm plotting ways to fight Sukuna and writing more happy fics to cope.

[ryukatters]

yeah…I’m trying to convince myself that gojo is really gone because it’s going to hurt like shit if I start to have hope and he doesn’t come back 😭

……and with that being said. I have some thoughts to help me cope.

1.) Gojo states that he hopes what he’s experiencing (reuniting with geto, yaga, etc.) isn’t a dream. While this has caused a lot of us to immediately go “oh, he’s dead dead” since he’s seems content, apart of me found it interesting how he states that yet we get no actual answer as to whether or not it is just a dream. We see him smiling with geto and waving to what it seems like to be everyone else in the afterlife, but there’s no dialogue.

Gojo saying that he hopes this all isn’t a dream reminded me of this character named Gray (from fairy tail) who was in this fake reality and states that he wishes it was real since he was with the girl he loved and had a family with her. But, nonetheless he broke out of that fake reality because he knew he still had stuff to do.

While Gojo seems content with being dead, he does state something he somewhat regrets: not being able to tell Megumi about Toji.

and while he counters that with how he told shoko to take care of it, Gege has stated that Gojo will be the one to tell Megumi about Toji.

(honestly, I think Megumi is going to die and see gojo in the afterlife and that’s when he’s going to find out but 😭 this is me coping 😔)

Anyways, that’s still a regret he has. And it’s about Megumi. And what condition is Megumi in right now? Well, he’s pretty fucked up rn 😭

But I think that even though Gojo wants to be dead, he knows that there’s still stuff he has to do.

I think there’s still a chance he’ll come back, especially because we TECHNICALLY didn’t see him stop breathing, S*kuna praised him and Gojo smiled then we saw his face—we technically haven’t seen him taken his last breath (my delusions are so powerful 😭) also his head is still on his body, and Gojo has made it a statement that although you make think he’s dead, he had a chance to come back as long as he has his head, which is why you go. for. the. head.

2.) Shoko using RCT and Yuta possibly helping Shoko with that

3.) Writing.

Genuinely, I think an extremely good writer move to do in this situation would be to bring Gojo back, like sincerely I really do think that.

Now, before continuing this, I’d like to state that if Gege doesn’t do this; it doesn’t make Gege a shit writer. Some characters/plots can be hyped up intentionally, just for the good guys to lose because that’s what gets to readers. That’s why the Jjk as a whole hits so hard—that’s what a major theme of the story.

But…I really do think this would make it a better arc for Gojo since an ongoing theme for him has always been his identity, I mean in interviews Gege literally says that he lacks a personality.

I think Gojo going “north” and him coming back, but not necessarily fighting anymore and it’s more of him accepting that he’s Gojo Satoru, not just the strongest, would be a beautiful way to tie up his arc. not to mention, s*kuna didn’t refer to him as “the strongest” but called him by his name, Gojo Satoru.

I know a big thing about Gojo’ death, was that it was a very dishonoring death and kind of felt like a cop out since Gege has spoken on struggling with killing Gojo, thus him getting sealed.

I really do think there’s more that can be done with Gojo, but again, I don’t think this is that kind of story. Gege could 100% just plan to make this a full on tragedy just like with Greek plays, to show the faults of humanity and it’s effects

— 🕊️ (are you fine with emoji anons, if you’re not then just ignore this little emoji bit!)

i feel like that little airport scene is almost like purgatory/in between life and death. there's gotta be a reason why gojo meets his friends in an airport and not school or something. is he leaving to go somewhere? (i am also delusional)

i've never read anything where gege said that gojo would be the one to tell megumi about toji so maybe that can be another fragment of hope i can hold on to 😭

and yes i have faith in my girl shoko and my manz yuta! kashimo distract sukuna so they can drag his body away or smthn idk

i agree that having him live as just satoru gojo, a human, would have been the best conclusion for him but i guess we'll have to wait and see what gege's cooking (bc i know he's cooking something)

[tomorrow-and-tomorrows]

JJK 149. Mai Zen'in

It’s fascinating for a battle shounen manga to have a character like Mai who is diametrically opposed to the ideals of strength and self-improvement that are usually valourized in this genre. Mai doesn't die because she can’t get stronger, but because she doesn’t want to. And although that attitude is evidently incompatible with an existence within the world and situation she found herself in, there is no negative value judgment imposed by the narrative itself condemning her unwillingness to unlock her "full potential".

JJK has always foregrounded competing worldviews and how individuals’ different perspectives and values can either coexist or conflict with others. Maki's ambition to transform the Zen'in clan vs. the Zen'ins' regressive conservatism; Gojou's vision for the jujutsu world vs. the higher ups' ; Yuji's "I want to save everyone" vs. Megumi's "I choose who I save" ; Mei Mei's "I'm on the side of money" vs. Nanami leaving a lucrative job to save people out of compassion, and so on.

So it's particularly impressive that, while operating within the shounen genre, the story continues to maintain its respect for this ideological diversity by preserving Mai’s belief in her own worldview to the very end. Simply put, not everyone wants to become powerful even if they may have the potential to. Not everyone wants to live a life of violence, and not everyone wants to be a saviour for others at the direct expense of their own sanity.

It would be perhaps the more optimistic yet potentially oppressive narrative move to demand for Mai's character to undergo a transformation from a character who resists the shounen ideals to one who accepts them. This type of transformation would by no means be inherently negative; I'm definitely not saying that going down this path would have been bad for Mai's character or for the story. But it would succumb to a temptation to move towards a kind of 'sameness' rather than difference in its depiction of ways of acting in the world. I think Mai's ending is all the more striking because it resists this temptation.

Because I think that the more typical - and optimistic - development arc for Mai would have been for her to learn how to be willing to become stronger as a sorcerer and eventually fight alongside Maki.

But instead, Mai never ends up conforming to those dominant values of strength and ambition. Neither is she subjected to the kind of development traditionally favoured by the genre that are along the lines of, 'you just need to believe in yourself and work hard' -- because if we really think about it, often times a lot of feats in shounen are accomplished by sheer willpower and self-conviction. (JJK is not always an exception to that trope, nor is it necessarily a bad thing!). Mai had previously firmly stated her opposing point of view, and this essential attitude never changes even when we perhaps most expect it to.

In this situation, rather than working to improve her technique to create stronger objects without it costing her life, Mai passively accepts that her weakness will require self-sacrifice.

It’s a fatalistic attitude resulting from having never wanted to partake in a life of violence and hardship.

On the one hand, inflexibility and the inability to adapt are not exactly commendable traits; Mai is certainly fixed in her resignation and refusal to work towards her full potential as a sorcerer. On the other hand, to use Nanami's words, being a sorcerer is shit. All the suffering and regret in the story so far has only continued to reaffirm that sentiment. So we also can't fully condemn Mai for rejecting that way of life to the extent that she would rather sacrifice herself than to push forward to have her own "shounen power-up" moment. Because the aftermath of that would be a path likely filled with death, brutality, and suffering.

The wish to live a normal life is a legitimate and valid one. In an ideal world, her clan would not punish her for it. In an ideal world, opposing perspectives, especially ordinarily pacifist ones like Mai's, would be allowed to exist. Mai having to die because she was unable to escape or adapt to the ruthlessness of the jujutsu world exemplifies how cruel that world is. Mai's persistence in her wish for a normal life, and her "failure" as a sorcerer is not her failure at all; her death reflects a failure of the violently rigid jujutsu clan culture.

In this light, it is all the more tragic that Mai's death was entirely preventable, and fated not by the inevitability of actual "fate", but rather entirely by a radically traditionalist clan system.

At the same time, as I mentioned earlier, I find it impressive for Gege to have allowed Mai to hold onto her values. Just as Maki has always stayed true to her dreams of overturning the Zen'in clan by becoming a powerful sorcerer, Mai has always stayed true to her resistance to that dark and difficult path. From a writing perspective, I think it's interestingly respectful to Mai's character in that way. It's also for this reason that I consider this chapter to be a worthy good-bye to Mai, as she is faithful to her own way of being in the world until the end. It may not conform to the demands of the optimistic self-improvement narrative generally preferred by shounen, but it is a valid perspective, and it is never depicted to be 'lesser than' or 'inferior to' the shounen narrative.

I'm always interested in stories in which there is a genuine dialogue of a diversity of voices, each with their own perspectives and viewpoints even as they conflict with each other - or in other words stories that prioritize 'difference' over 'sameness' in ways of being, thinking, and acting. It's not necessarily uncommon - most if not all stories will feature different character motivations within a given cast. But I think JJK does this particularly well in a particularly convincing way, and 149 is further confirmation of this for me.

Finally, it is notable that Mai herself seems to acknowledge this sentiment. She may have been unwilling to imagine a stronger future version of herself, which is opposite to the advice Gojou had given Megumi if he wanted to reach his full potential. But she died for the sake of believing in the stronger future version of Maki, and this is how she is victorious even in death. All the way to the end, Mai had her way of viewing and acting in the world in her individual way, and Maki had hers; importantly, Mai ends up encourages this difference. Right after she states that "You are me, and I am you", that sameness is undercut when Mai immediately after points to their contrasting motivations:

Mai ultimately encourages Maki to live in the way that Maki wants to live - to the fullest potential of her power and the fullest potential for her capacity to force change upon a corrupt system. Before, Mai had resented Maki for moving on without her ("why didn't you fall down the hole with me?") - she resented how Maki couldn't be the same as her in how she viewed the world. In her final chapter, Mai conversely acknowledged that she herself could never see the world exactly the same as Maki.

Therein lies the cornerstone of her character development; before, she resented that difference between them for those twofold reasons. In the last moments of her life, she no longer resents Maki for moving on without her; she encourages her to move forward into the future. It is of course undeniably tragic, as it must be a future without Mai. And no amount of power gained from such a loss could ever be consolation for that tragedy.

It is fitting, then, that Mai's final message to Maki is full of despair -- yet it is also not without hope. In the interplay between 'construction' and 'destruction', it is ironic yet poetic that Mai wished for her object-construction technique's final and greatest creation to be used to destroy - indeed, to "destroy everything". There is undoubtedly despair both in that command, and in Maki's drive to destruction when she emerges from that room. But somewhere, somehow, there must also be the hope that that destruction will be in the service of "construction", of creating a better future for others, even if it is too late for it to be a future in which they can live in together.

[franzsiska]

ao3 interview

tagged by: @cyanoscarlet thank you, dani 🥰💕

how many works do you have on ao3?

— 18.

what’s your total ao3 word count?

— 39.2k, haha. I mostly write short one shots, and quite a bit of my work has been exclusive to twt/tumblr and zines, so that's why.

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

— three.

bungou stray dogs (10)

haikyuu!! (5)

jujutsu kaisen (3)

as you can see, i am. very picky about what fandoms and what subject matters i write about sfhskdk

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

emptiness to melody (bsd; kunikidazai)

this brief tragedy of flesh (jjk; nanago)

let me tell you a story about love (haikyuu; miya atsumu character study)

you are what happens after the war (bsd; kunikidazai)

leave the ruins where they fall (bsd; soukoku)

what are your top 5 fics by comment thread count?

love me just a little longer (bsd; odazai)

you are what happens after the war (bsd; kkdz)

this brief tragedy of flesh (jjk; nng)

salt/water (haikyuu; iwaoi)

emptiness to melody (bsd; kkdz)

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

— yes, absolutely, although it might take me absurdly long to get around to it lol. unless it's a comment that doesn't warrant a reply, i do make it a point to reply to all of them eventually.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

— ahh, this one is complicated. i love angst actually, but only of a very specific brand. my fics aren't so much angsty in ending as they are just. pervaded with a sense of sadness throughout—fluff coloured with angst, as i like to call it. pick up literally any fic of mine, there's always angst interwoven throughout.

that said, i did once write a fic (without you) that ended in major character death and it disturbed me so much that i ended up orphaning it lmao

have you ever received hate on a fic?

— no, thankfully, not as of now. that might be attributed to the fact that my body of work itself is not very big, but i like to think that i attract a more civilized demographic with my fics 😉

do you write smut? If so, what kind?

— no. never have i tried and never will i ever try, i think. the most i can do is make out and fade to black. i don't actually have any interest in writing the nitty gritty details, thank you very much.

have you ever had a fic translated?

— uhhh, yes, i think. i've been asked for permission multiple times but have only got back the completed link from the translator once or twice. this here, for instance, is a tumblr askbox fic that got translated into chinese.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

— no, but i'm open to the idea! it just has to be with someone whose style and ideas i click with.

what’s your all-time favorite ship?

— ahaha, this is hard. it keeps changing but iwaoi seem to have passed the test of time <3

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

— ouch, okay. there is more than one. that one dazai-centric skk wip that's been lying in my drafts for almost an year now. it's a study into dazai's relationship with food and with the needs of his body in general (read: his very thinly-veiled eating disorder). i really fucking want to complete this, but it isn't looking likely at the moment :'(

what are your writing weaknesses?

— longform, multichapter fics, definitely. i cannot, for the life of me, plot out a proper three act structure with a subplot and a climax and all. i really wish i could, and i greatly respect the people who can :')

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

— only if it fits the situation. otherwise it just ends up looking pretentious and pedantic. i used a couple of spanish dialogues in salt/water as well as my iwaoi zine fic, for instance, bc they're both post timeskip and set in argentina

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

— bsd! that was two years ago, and i'm so grateful to my hyperfixation sdfshfk

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

— a tie between you are what happens after the war (bsd) and with your face towards the sky (haikyuu; kagehina)

tagging: @wctercress @awinterborn @my-one-true-l (only if you want, ofc)

[ravenhealer5]

I am honestly surprised that many people believed that Eren was a devoted and protective lover to Mikasa when most of the manga was extremely rude to her (I know that Mikasa was very suffocating with him, but that does not justify his bad gestures towards her). I'm not saying that Eren didn't love her, I know that they both loved each other a lot but I also think that so much love was useless if there was never a mutual acceptance or a deep conversation. I've also been thinking for a long time that Eren never did something for Mikasa's well-being, but that he did everything for her own benefit and that Mikasa was saved out of sheer luck. Maybe there is something wrong with my reasoning, so I would like to read your opinion.

Cheers ✨

I was so tempted to delete this ask when I read the first line because I thought this is a hate ask. Then I read the whole thing and thought well... maybe not lol. I got another Eren ask (my thoughts on Eren) so I’m just going to answer both asks here and it’ll be a little long. 

So, many people believed anr was going to happen. When it comes to people believing things, it can get wild. About Eren being protective, I won’t say it’s wrong cause he was, in fact, protective of her at the beginning of the story. Remember when he went I might be a monster but she has nothing to do with it? Jean even points out to Mikasa how the old Eren won’t risk her life the way he did in Liberio as a demonstration of Eren’s downfall. About devotion, I agree we didn’t see that but like they weren’t in a relationship so technically this ‘lover Eren’ is more of a hypothesis, it isn’t someone we saw because they never got to become lovers despite loving each other which is why eremika is a tragedy.

You’re right about Eren being rude to her (and yes, Mikasa wasn’t treating him right either) I mean, yes, it was a mess, they both had issues I have nothing to say against that. I like your phrasing about so much love being useless. I think it's a nice way to put it. Loving someone and treating someone with love aren't the same. I'm currently reading jjk where I'm also coming across characters with similar issues. Character A loves character B the most but ends up hurting character B to the point it scars character B. Both Eren and character A struggle with their own issues to the point they aren’t able to look at things objectively, in a sense they think they’re doing what’s good for Mikasa or character B (for example Eren asking Mikasa to throw away the scarf) but Mikasa and character B are also people with their own feelings and this isn’t necessarily good for them. Eren’s downfall comes from an inability to look at the bigger, objective picture. But the difference between Eren and Mikasa is Mikasa changed, Eren did not. Remember when Floch said in rts that Eren refused to grow up but Mikasa did, that’s literally what happened. And you don’t have to excuse Eren, the story didn’t either. Like how ironic is it that Eren is throwing a tantrum over not being able to be with Mikasa when all Mikasa ever wanted was to be with him? He dies, like a pathetic loser (I think Isayama goes extra lengths to paint him as such), but Mikasa lives and also gets the family she always wanted. 

Now, I won’t agree that Eren never did something for Mikasa’s well being. As far as I can remember, Eren asking Mikasa to forget about him and be happy (I know his approach wasn’t the best, but) was the one example where Eren tried to do something solely for someone else’s good even though the idea didn’t make him 100% happy. That was the least self-centred behaviour we have witnessed from Eren if I remember correctly. Eren isn’t Light Yagami (I’m treading on thin ice here, it’s been years since I watched death note and I haven’t read the manga) who has this evil master plan, he uses people like tools all the while making sure he himself isn’t at any risk. Eren doesn’t have a plan, he kinda acts on instincts, he more like disregards people and most importantly, he puts himself in danger. So, yes, of course he has his own motivations (everyone always does) and yes, Mikasa being saved is often kind of a byproduct of his mindless charging (but the desire to save her does exist, just like the desire for his friends to live also does exist but the problem is even when it’s about others and their well-being, Eren somehow manages to make it about himself), but I’m not sure I agree his actions are aimed towards any ‘benefit’ of his own. Like forget about Mikasa, he’s lucky he didn’t die that day in the mountain. He was nine, going against two adult men. He’s literally a suicidal blockhead.

Eren has violent tendencies, it takes little to get his violent, or as I like to call it, his cruel side awaken. But, Mikasa isn’t special because she was able to appeal to his cruel side, she is special because she was able to appeal to his beautiful side (Armin or his friends can do that too, but clearly Yams uses Mikasa as the face of that group). Because how else do you explain him wrapping the scarf? That’s why the scarf wrapping scene is revisited again and again, to remind us that he has a beautiful side, but as the story progresses, he deliberately chooses to let go of that side and clings to his cruel side harder and harder. He goes out of his way to be mean to Mikasa and Armin and makes Floch, of all people his buddy. Same Floch who criticised him in rts, why is Floch suddenly following Eren btw? Remember Floch calls Eren ‘devil’, he doesn’t think Eren is a great guy. He follows Eren because he wants to disregard the rest of the world which he knows Eren will do because he said it himself, Eren is someone who refuses to grow up or listen to the other side. Eren has now literally chosen to play the devil, become his worst self. But look which side of him the story rewards in the end, the side that wished for long happy lives for his friends. That’s the point. He made the wrong call.

But remember Mkasa till the end thanks him for wrapping the scarf, she doesn’t say Eren, thank you for killing those kidnappers. And in chapter 139 when all his friends, Armin included, are dealing with the aftermath of the rumbling ie his cruel side, Mikasa is shown finding strength in the memory of Eren’s beautiful side. Yams once again chose to highlight Eren’s beautiful side through her. Similarly in chapter 138, her denying his desire to throw away the scarf represents her and all their friends’ refusal to cut him off even though he goes extra lengths to make it happen. Because, other people are people and have feelings, you can’t just one-sidedly go stop loving me because that’s what’s best for you. That’s not how it works and that’s what he never got. 

[bangstanfics]

Ode to Safe Travels || JJK

☆ Pairing: Knight!Jungkook x Princess!Reader

☆ Word Count: 4.8k

☆ Rating: 17+

☆ Genre: Medieval au, royalty au, star crossed lovers, romance, angst, and more angst

☆ Warnings: Major character death, implications of smut

☆ Summary: It was a forbidden romance that was bound to end up in tragedy. You both knew that, and yet that didn’t stop you from falling hopelessly in love with your metaphorical and literal knight in shining armor, Jeon Jungkook. 

☆ A/N: My first ever fic, oh gawd I wasn’t sure when (or if) I was going to post this, but Valentines Day seemed like a good day. This short story is part of my “A Second Chance at Love” series (a series about lovers whose circumstances caused them to not end up together during their first life, but are given a second chance when they are reincarnated) and is the prequel to my main story “Chasing Stars.” Also, all the italicized writing is the present, and the regular text are flashbacks of the past. Yes! That was done with a purpose and no I won't directly say why (unless you figure it out owo). Enough of my blabbing, I hope you all enjoy!! :)

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

I’ll be with you, forever.

It was his promise to you as he sat in his barren cell, deprived of the basic necessities of life - food, water, human contact. The shackles around his arms denying him access to one last touch of your skin, to caress your cheek and brush away the tears that you couldn’t stop from falling. His big doe eyes that reflected stars now reflected your contorted expression, overtaken with grief. Despite his circumstances, he managed to smile and attempted to ease your fears with his words.

God, how you hated yourself in that moment. There he was, waiting for his moment to come on death’s vendetta, yet he was comforting you. You, the princess who spent her sheltered life behind the castle walls, ignorant to famen, war, and poverty. You, the princess who was always draped in the finest silks and gold and carried herself with too much pride. You, the princess who was always pampered by servants and knights alike, adored by the entire kingdom.

Finding solace in his words was a privilege you would not allow yourself to have in that moment.

“Would you like to have a different meal prepared, your Highness?” the voice of the servant cut through your heavy thoughts, pulling you back to the present. You glanced down at your untouched food before turning your attention back to the girl. She was new, you noted, and unaware of the fact that your lack of appetite had nothing to do with the food, and everything to do with the memories of him that constantly flooded your mind.

“No,” you answered after a moment of silence, “This will suffice.”

She waited, as if expecting more, but when you offered nothing of the sort she bowed her head respectfully and left the dining hall, leaving you alone to replay that fateful day over and over again.

He was right, though. Even after his passing, you saw and heard him everywhere you went. His hushed voice in the wind, calling your name. His shadow trailing your footsteps of abandoned corridors. His lingering scent in the sheets of your chambers. Even now, in this massive hall with the long table stretched out before you, you could feel the weight of his presence sitting in the empty chair across from you. The ghost of his smile barely visible to your eye and yet you can remember it so distinctly. However, rather than comfort, it only served as a bitter reminder of the future that was abruptly taken away from you.

You closed your eyes once again and allowed your consciousness to drift back to that day, resuming from the point where you hopelessly reached your hand through the bars in an attempt to seek refuge in the warmth of his arms. He did the same, extended his hand out towards you, but the chains that restrained him to the wall only allowed him to move a few feet. Your desperate attempts to reach each other proving futile against the cell bars.

“Please don’t leave me,” you pleaded through your sobs, “Please don’t leave me all alone. I can’t do this without you.”

His smile was weak, but reassuring, “My love,” his voice barely above a whisper, all the might and confidence you were so accustomed to hearing had disappeared, “Don’t say that. You are the strongest person I know. Hell, the strongest person in this nation. Do what you always do when you fall, jump back up and keep moving forward.” You shake your head, unable to speak through your broken sobs. You wanted to tell him he was wrong. The truth behind your unwavering nature was not an iron will, but the knowledge that if you fell, Jungkook would be right there to catch you and help you back up.

“Jungkook please,” you tried again, “Let me fix this.”

“But there is nothing to fix,” he tried to reason, “Our destiny had already been mapped out in the stars long ago. I know you do not believe in these myths and folklore, but sometimes there are moments in this lifetime that are meant to happen to allow others destinies to fully take course.”

This destiny he was so fixated on, meant nothing to you if he wasn’t there to take part in the journey with you. You wanted to tell him that, but the words stayed as a lump in your throat as you stared into his brown orbs. The unwavering determination was set ablaze in his eyes, as he sent you a silent message - he was doing this for you. In that moment, you were faced with a burden so great that the mere thought of it left the impression of the universe’s vast loneliness coursing through you.

You had to leave him.

Turn around and allow him to take part in fate’s cruel plans.

“I love you,” were the final words you had to offer, “I love you so damn much,” your cries growing louder with each passing declaration, knowing it will be your last.

“And I love you,” he projected what little strength he had into this confession, so they would never leave you, “Even after my time in this world has come to an end, my love for you will not end with it.”

You felt your hands tremble at your sides as the desire to embrace him one last time overwhelmed you. To brush your lips over his and murmur sweet nothings into his ears to reassure him that your heart was forever his and nothing, not even death, could break that bond. Your lover, your best friend, your world. He was it all and so much more.

With a heavy heart, you rose from your spot on the ground and left without a second glance. Too afraid that if you did, your resolution would break and you would run back to Jungkook’s cell. Instead, as you traveled down the dimly lit hall, you broke into uncontrollable sobs. The force of your whimpers reverberating through your chest, causing the halls to echo back your sorrows. Your hands found their way to your hair as you began rummaging through your locks, searching your head for an answer. A swarm of profanities whirled your mind as they attempted to escape through your mouth. You physically had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from revealing your location to the castle guards. But the insanity of the situation was getting too much and with each passing second your hope continued to dwindle close to nothing. You frantically shook your head, forcing the negative thoughts away. Jungkook already had given up, so you knew you couldn’t do the same.

You were at a loss for breathe as you found yourself hyperventilating, knees succumbing to the reality of the situation. Was there really nothing you could do to save him? You clawed at your chest, desperate for air as your head sunk lower and lower, eyes meeting the concrete floors. Your vision was filled with nothing but the gray cracks and crevices, hoping to find a silver lining in any one of its imperfections. But there was nothing and when you realized this, you screamed. An ear curdling scream meant for the heavens, hoping they would hear your plea and allow Jungkook to live.

“Your Highness, are you alright?” a heavy breathe brought you down from the memory you were reliving and you realized you were no longer seated at the dining table. To your side, the familiar face of the Head maid with a look of concern etched onto her features. Of all people you had to encounter, you just had to encounter her - Mrs. Kim. The same woman who helped raise you and feed you when your parents were busy managing their kingdom. The same woman who kissed your wounds and was your shoulder to cry on. The same woman who gave birth to one of your closest friends, Kim Namjoon. The same woman who betrayed you.

“Don’t touch me!” you immediately recoiled from her touch, the momentum of your movements, bringing you down to the floor as a result.

“But Your Highness--” Mrs. Kim reached out to help you up, but you responded by scurrying further back, until your back hit the end of a wall.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t look at me! Don’t help me! Just get away!”

Mrs. Kim was visibly hurt by your words, you could tell by the way her eyes clouded with tears, but you couldn’t stop the words from spilling from your mouth. Afterall, she was the one who revealed your relationship with Jungkook to your parents.

“What if… we ran away together?” you whispered to Jungkook one night after love making. Your naked bodies intertwined between the silk sheets of your bed, as the soft rays of the moonlight peeking through your windows enhanced Jungkook’s features. His doe eyes seemed to sparkle more, his smile was bigger and brighter than you’ve ever seen it. Then again, you could attribute that to the fact he had an orgasm not even ten minutes ago, but still - he seemed different. A radiating glow. You wondered if you had one too.

“Where would we even go?” he decided to entertain the idea, although deep down he knew it was impossible. Your parents would spend whatever resources necessary to bring you back here to Reeva. Afterall, you were, not only the eldest, but the most qualified of your siblings to inherit the throne. Your younger sister, a carefree spirit who would rather spend her time exploring the city than learning how to write eloquent letters to convince an enemy kingdom to decrease their tariffs, did not have the knowledge or skill to be a bridge between the people and the law. Your younger brother, a fool most people would describe him, but you saw him as a man with no ambition. He was indifferent to the world and would rather spend his time exploring the beds of the young maidens in the castle. That left Reeva in your hands.

“Anywhere. Everywhere.” You finally decided as your answer, “The world has so much to offer us, Jungkook. Why stay in a place that forbids us to love each other just because I’m seen as heir to the throne and you’re seen as my protector.” Jungkook loved hearing you talk about your immense love for him. The way you would sacrifice everything for him. He had never known a love so deep and pure. Growing up as an orphan, he thought love was a concept that didn’t exist. People would abandon each other eventually, it was only a matter of time. Yet, with you, no matter how many times he failed or made himself look like a fool, you remained by his side and encouraged him to get back up. He reached out his hand and gently stroked your cheek, admiring the way you released a content sigh at the physical contact.

“A place where we could love each other freely…” he tested the idea with his tongue, saying it out loud for the first time. He had to admit, a swarm of butterflies invaded his chest at the mere thought of being able to hold your hand freely in public. Without any spectators giving him dirty looks, or covering their mouths to point out how you carried an air of grace, while he carried himself with the mannerism of a commoner.

“Mmhm… Doesn’t that sound nice?” you smiled sleepily, your previous activities with Jungkook draining you of most of your energy, but you still had enough power to lean forward and press your lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips before releasing a low hum of agreement.

The moment, like every beautiful moment in life, did not last.

The door to your chambers was forced open with a great kick. Startled, you and Jungkook pulled away from each other, as your first instinct was to cover yourself up with your linen. Guards came swarming into your space and surrounded the bed you shared with Jungkook. You couldn’t even process everything that was happening. The motion of the clustered bodies moving like a blur, until two distinct presence made themselves known. Your blood ran cold as you noticed the fire that ignited in your father’s eyes as he took in the scene before him - you and Jungkook in your bed together, naked and covered in love bites. He didn’t even give you time to explain yourself before he was marching over to Jungkook’s side and drawing the tip of his sword to your lover’s neck.

“Father wait--” you tried to reason with him, thinking he was about to drag the blade against Jungkook’s throat, but he proceeded with words rather than action, much to your surprise.

“You will be tried for high treason against the royal family. You will be stripped of your title as a member of the Battle Triumph Soldiers. And you will no longer be known as a knight of Reeva. Should you be found guilty of your crime, there is only one punishment fitting of such betrayal - death. Do you have any objections?”

You sucked in a deep breathe at the word “death” knowing well that the council (comprised of your father, mother, your father’s advisor Sir Lee and Commander Bang) would unanimously find Jungkook guilty. The hard stare your father sent Jungkook was meant to be intimidating, you could tell, but all you could see in his eyes was pity and despair. He was, after all, the one who took Jungkook under his wing and trained him to be the man he is today. Despite the tough front your father always portrayed, you always knew he had a soft spot for Jungkook. He was every inch of what the king wanted your brother to be, but could never achieve. But at that moment, he was casting all emotions aside and using his head to make every decision. The King couldn’t risk a scandal like this being exposed to the other kingdoms. They would seize it as an opportunity to cast doubt over his authority and possibly overthrow him. Jungkook was no longer a boy orphaned by war, he was a man who had to take responsibility for his actions.

“No, I have no objections.”

Wide eyed, you whipped your head to the man next to you and looked at him in disbelief. Was the post-orgasm high interfering with his brain? You sat up straighter, carrying an air of dignity that had been instilled into you since birth - you weren’t about to let these men make you feel ashamed for making love to the man you love -  and started to protest on his behalf, “On the contrary, he objects to every statement you just made!”

“You will hold your tongue until--” your mother began, but your father raised a hand to silence her.

You decided to use the opportunity to continue talking, “Father, I beg of you, hear me out. None of this was Jungkook’s fault. It was I who initiated this- this- this whole thing. He refused all of my advances, saying he knows his place, but I convinced him that his rightful place should be with me because I--” you paused, unsure if your words was making the situation better or worse for Jungkook, but you were desperate to cling onto anything that would resolve this mess, even if it meant revealing the truth, “Because I lo--”

“I’d hate to reveal my intentions in front of everyone like this, Princess, but I thought I should save you the embarrassment of your next words by speaking my truth.” All you could do was blink inquisitively at Jungkook, whose demeanor and attitude had suddenly transformed into one you had never seen before, “And that truth is… I used you. Well, used your body more specifically.” It was like choking on air as you listened to Jungkook’s confession. Nothing was holding your throat hostage, yet you were finding it difficult to breathe. Why are you doing this? You wanted to scream at him. Why are you lying so effortlessly in front of everyone? Why are you trying to take all the blame? “You made it so easy for me too. With the way you practically flung yourself at me every time we were alone. I almost felt bad stringing you along... Almost. Then again, sleeping with you did also pose some benefits seeing how I got to sleep in these luxurious chambers rather than my worn out closet space.”

Jungkook’s “confession” landed him a swift blow to his face, courtesy of your father who either believed his story or wanted to believe his story just so he could portray Jungkook to be the villain in this entire mess, “Father, stop!” Your first instinct was to jump in front of the dark haired boy and use your own body as a shield, but the guard closest to you captured your arm, preventing you from doing so. Your father took another swing at the knight and the momentum of his hit threw Jungkook to the floor with a loud thud. You watched in horror as the King pulled his leg back and swiftly landed a kick to what you presumed, judging from the suffocated groan, was Jungkook’s abdomen. “Enough!” you finally yell with a force so great, that even the guard gripping your arm was startled. With a ragged breath, and tears on the brink of escape, you yanked your arm from the guard and crawled to the other edge of the bed to where your father was standing, “Please, have mercy on him,” you begged, head hung low and hands clasped together as if you were praying to a saint. From the corner of your eye, you focused on Jungkook’s remorse expression and apologized mentally that you couldn’t do more for him. You couldn’t gauge your father’s reaction, but you knew he must have been furious seeing his heir to the throne on her knees, for a man who didn’t possess an ounce of royal blood. 

Your father cleared his throat, a sign for you to raise your head. His eyes lacked emotion so you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, “Guards, dress him and lock him up in the dungeons. I don’t want him in my sights for another second,” he finally commanded. Two men quickly found Jungkook’s discarded articles of clothing and dressed him before dragging him out of your room. Your eyes followed his body’s movement, even when he was out of sight, all you could do was stare helplessly at the door, “Leave us,” your father commanded the remaining guards, who quickly scurried away from his tone.

“How did you know?” you finally decided to ask after a moment of silence. Your eyes were still transfixed on the empty doorway, waiting for his answer, until a new figure came into view. She hung her head low in shame and her shoulders slouched forward to make herself seem as small as she felt at that moment.

“I have eyes all over the castle, my dear. As loyal as they are to you, they will always prioritize their loyalty to me, their King.” You couldn’t even process his words as an overwhelming sense of denial rushed through your system. Not her. Of all the people to betray you, please not her.

“Mrs. Kim?” you called out weakly, afraid that speaking her name out loud would confirm your fears. However, as soon as her name was called, she took the remaining steps to enter your room and make her presence known, “How- How could you?”

She bit her lip back in guilt, seemingly a loss for words to justify her actions. However, what came out next only made your hatred for the woman grow, “I’m so sorry. I have nothing else to say except that I’m so terribly sorry and that I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

A harsh tug on your shoulder brought you back to reality as you realized that Mrs. Kim pulled you back to your feet and began shaking you frantically.

“I know you can never trust me again after what I did to you, but all I ask is that you listen to my reason for doing so.”

“I refuse! No explanation can take back the consequences of your actions. You have betrayed not just me or Jungkook, but Namjoon and the rest of the Battle Triumph Soldiers. Do you not see the pain in their eyes during war tactic conferences as they stare at the empty seat that once belonged to Jungkook? Or how Namjoon still expects Jungkook to pull one of his antics right before training? Maybe you’ve seen how Seokjin still sharpens and polishes Jungkook’s sword every morning? Or noticed how Yoongi still eats half his meal because he thinks Jungkook would ask for the rest of it? Can you tell Hoseok is still the first to take off his gear because he expects Jungkook to jump on his back? Do you see Jimin linger at Jungkook’s door? Longing for a friend to confide his struggles to? Have you watched Taehyung visit Jungkook’s grave with flowers and just cry uncontrollably? Because I’ve seen it Mrs. Kim. I’ve seen it all. And seeing them go through that reopens every wound Jungkook’s death has caused and refreshes every ounce of hatred I have towards you.” Mrs. Kim can’t even think of a response to your confession. Her grip on her shoulder fell as she stood motionless in the middle of the hall. A quick observation of your surroundings helped you determined that you were in the middle of the West hall, the hall that leads to the battle arena. 

Your blood ran cold as the gates of the arena stared you down, taunting you with the knowledge of what that place represented.  As you expected, Jungkook was found guilty of treason sentenced to death. How you wish your father showed mercy by making it a quick execution. Rather, he chose to spark a flame of hope within you by sentencing him to a duel - a battle to save his life. Jungkook was a talented knight, that was an undeniable fact that the entire kingdom knew, but his opponent, Sir Hyun, was exemplary. As the Head Knight, nations quaked in fear when they crossed his path and would rather be met with a death by a blade than at the hands of Sir Hyun. He was relentless when given a task and always made sure to leave no victim behind. A madman is what most would call him, and they would be completely justified in their beliefs. The bottom of your lip began to quiver as flashes of that day played out.

Jungkook dragging his practically lifeless body to the center of the arena.

His opponent’s merciless attacks on his weakened body.

Jungkook’s poor attempts at defending himself.

The battle ending with a fatal blow to your lover’s chest.

“Princess?” Mrs. Kim tried capturing your attention when she noticed your rigid state, but it was no use, you couldn’t escape the image painted inside your head. The only man you ever loved lying in a crimson pool, choking on his own blood. The way you ran to him and held his head in your lap as your tears decorated his pale face. The quiet hush that fell over the crowd as they watched you cradle your lover back and forth. The heartbroken wails that escaped your lips as you desperately yelled for anyone to help him. The audience only offered silent murmurs of what they speculated was going on. Your parents, the King and Queen of the kingdom, astonished by the events unfolding in front of him.

“Mother! Father! Please, I love him!” Their silent judgment only brought fresh tears to your face as you realized they would offer no aid to the dying man. His voice called out what sounded like your name, so you focused your attention back to him, leaning closer so he wouldn’t strain himself trying to speak up.

“D- Dont be afraid of go-goodbye.”

You frantically shook your head, refusing to believe this is where it ends for the both of you, “No, no, no. This isn’t goodbye, it can’t be. I refuse to accept it.”

His weak smile caused you to grimace, knowing how much effort it must take for the small action, “It’s okay…” he muttered, his voice notably getting fainter, “Because I promise you… I’ll find you again.” Your brows knitted together in confusion at his words.

“Wha-What do you mean you’ll find me again?”

He broke into a smile at your inquisitive stare. How is it that even as death lay waiting at his door he could still see every detail etched into your face. From the small crease in your brow, to the small crinkles around your glassy eyes as you tried to decipher his words. Knowing that it would be Jungkook’s last time seeing your face he made sure to take in every detail and appreciate the beauty that you are, “One day…” he began, the throbbing pain in his chest was slowly subsiding. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one, but he welcomed the peace, “We’ll be together again.”

Still confused by his words, thinking his wound was making him confused, you shook your head once again, “I don’t want to wait until one day. I want to be with you right now. Now. I wanted to live the rest of our lives together. Have children together along the way and start a family. To grow old and watch our generations prosper. Doesn’t that sound nice, Jungkook?”

His smile turned into a painful one. Not because of his injury, but because he could perfectly see the future you described. Two children, one boy and one girl, running around a small cottage as you sat in his lap with eyes full of love at the children you two had created. At night when the children were in bed, you and him would be awake, confessing your heart’s desires through touches and kisses. He could see it so vividly in front of him that he almost convinced himself that he wasn’t currently dying, but Jungkook knew. He knew it was unattainable.

“It sounds wonderful.” he confessed, voice growing weaker,  “And we don’t have to say goodbye to that dream, just… until next time.”

At the mention of ‘until next time’, you understood what he meant. Reeva had a tradition when seeing their knights off to battle in foregin territory. From a young age, every inhabitant of the kingdom was required to memorize a stanza entitled an Ode to Safe Travels. You always found it ridiculous because you thought it was nothing but a poetic way of saying goodbye. As you grew older and wiser, you realized it was not a poetic goodbye, but a promise to be reunited once again, whether it be in this life or the next one. And so with a tear stained face, you inched your face closer to Jungkook and whispered your farewells.

“For honor, you part from this kingdom,” your voice was broken from tears as you recite the lines you have spoken countless times to Jungkook before he was sent off to battle, but this time it was different because you knew he would not return from the place he going to, “In glory, you find victory in the next.” He raised a hand to brush away a few of your tears and hold your cheek in the palm of his hand. You welcomed his touch by leaning into it and holding it firm against your face, “Safe travels wherever the wind carries you.” You watched as tranquility took over his features and his eyes began to flutter close. Your heart clenched painfully at the sight and you squeezed his hand that was resting against your cheek in hopes of transferring some of your life force into him. However, dragging on the seconds into minutes would not extend Jungkook’s life so you forced yourself to finish the rest of the poem, “And may the stars guide you back to me,” He used his remaining strength to force a smile, sealing his promise to be reunited with you once again, whenever that may be.

“For honor, you part from this kingdom. In glory, you find victory in the next. Safe travels wherever the wind carries you. And may the stars guide you back home.”

-Reeva’s parting ode to their knights