#Jacob trembling as dex

[lezabeththetheodoraimposter]

as a community can we please just decide on agreed upon fancasts??

(totally not a scheme to share my fancasts)

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 11 notes (i’ll fix them one day but i’m agro this was tea hate this)

Two minute one shot while dom pees

Adam has a floaty tube

Asyna can't turn into a hippo

Giant seahorse

Jane austen

Elizabethh and darcy my hands are shaking

Dom has 4e books

Dom was pretty out of it last session

It's afternoon

Dom is toasty

In jacob's other campaign a goat bit off his penis so the goat's name is richard byter

"at first the goat was reluctant"

"what a goat"

Last week on dragon heist

We were meandering through the city

"one of you met with an old friend, briefly"

Zoo time

Aerana knows where the zoo is in the sea ward

Raised brick gate w high walls; on top are intricate metal railing spiked stuff

Entrance is v wide, not too many people going in bc it's raining a lot

Maybe

Apparently the weather is super important and I still don't know why the weather is so important

It is currently raining

Pouring

Ticket booth in the front

Gold piece per person

Botanic repository

We walk up to the booth covering ourselves w the hoods we have

Velvet rope line but we just navigate through it like in shrek

Adam goes first

Walks in and see smiling figure, human male middle-aged, heavyset, festive outfit, "thank you for visiting - oH how's it going?!" it's volo

He's doing research for his newest obok

Hi jacob's dad

Jacob's gonna go fishing

Volo under impression he would be one of zoological experts but no

"recommendations?"

They brought monsters in from the isle of chault

Points us off to the exhibit to go

Originally zoo was not a zoo as we think of but like throwing them in a pit and being like look at them think httyd

Now it's closer to what we'd consider a modern day zoo

Lots of foliage

It's a big zoo

Like the San diego zoo

Or disneyland

Dom talks abt his brother's haircut

We can run through it

Can asyna just sprint

Aerana and asyna r gonna run

Adam cel and theo r gonna not run

Most of the zoo taken up by exhibits devoted to the island

Looking in the entryway a lot of ppl r carrying pamphlets n papers and speaking in foreign tongues like tourists or smth ig

Adam casts disguise self to make him look as fancy as everyone else

Has feathered cloak

Three major pathways

Chault exhibits for weird stuff r left

Marine stuff and some chault r forward

To the right r monsters from the interior continent

Adam cel and theo (?) go to the right

Most ppl r in pairs

A lot of biologist-type ppl; ppl who look like they're used to handling animals

First real exhibit on the right is a human woman inside the exhibit throwing down pieces of meat to lions

Is asyna a moon druid ? Yes

How did the human woman get there ? But she doesn’t notice

"does this zoo have dippin dots" - lillian 2020

Perception check, 15

There r ppl selling stuff, sees dejected gnome sitting under a pedal cart w a dingy umbrella and he's grumpy n angry

Adam walks over to him

Selling diff snacks n refreshments

He's mostly selling a fizzle pop

Strawberry flavor, blueberry, butterfly flavor

"are ur fizzle pops made w organic butterflies ? Bc I'm kinda on a diet rn"

Adam says it's disgusting

"I'll have a blueberry thank you"

Cel is gonna try the butterfly one

It's sweet; doesn't taste like blood but does taste almost nutty

So like what I would think pistachio tastes like

Fun size popsicle

Theo gets strawberry

They go to the next exhibit

A really vertical exhibit

 Oneshot

Cel is gonna try and ride seahorse asyna but rolls a nat 1 for acrobatics and then a nat 1 for dex save

Smashes head on rim of the pool, bleeding out and unconscious

Healing words from adam

Climbs out of the pool

The water is now red

Three children on the other side of the pool

One of them gets really excited and pees when adam tells them that there's a chemical that turns pool water red

Asyna left the pool when the kid peed

Asyna leads everyone over to the hospital

Adam is gonna try and healing words fix cel

Cel is back to full health

One of the kids is crying scared when she finds out the water is blood

Theo is gonna go get the kids ?

Ok back to the zoo

There's a hippo exhibit

We go check it out

On the way there run into different typical zoo stuff

Apes

Monkeys

The younger ppl r around these exhibits

A lot of closed sections bc of weather like "don't worry next winter this animal will be back"

Alligators

Ringtails that r lemurs ringtail lemurs

Birds

Carefully curated trees that r uber high

Hawks and giant eagles

Oops my phone froze

Tap on the glass to say hi to the what now

Theo wants it to come say hi to her

Animal handling check, 10

Can't attract their attention but

The hippos

Asyna has speak with animals LMAO

Basically can't talk to worms

No more tapeworm talk :/

"Theo says hi . This is theo"

"everybody gangsta until they find out jacob thinks barney is a hippo" - dom 2020

Colombian drug lord one time built private zoos and the hippos broke out but now there's a hippo problem in colombia

Pablo escovar

Speak with animals is ten minutes

We're also probably fighting later

We're gonna talk to the hippos

Theo waves

One of them paddles over and tries to sniff

"hm . Can you eat it ?"

"pleaes don't"

 I just remembered seaweed is not a plant it's an algae

This hippo does not have a name

Calls sister sister

"ask about juicy hippo gossip" - adam

"no but if I did I would share it"

Originally zoo was place for research

Anything else to ask hippos before we check out rare animals ?

The hippo floats away and we say bye

To the chault exhibits

Getting late but there r a lot more researchers

First exhibit has a lot of strange, unfamiliar trees

Monkeys w really big fluffy sideburns clustering around overhanging branches bc it's raining

Some of them r taking leaves and using them to keep the rain off

One of the monkeys hops off the branch

The sideburns actually extend into wings and it goes to another branch

"it's like the wizard of oz"

"adam what's the wizard of oz"

Flying monkeys

Adam walks over to a researcher and asks the most must-see

Woman who is probably from chault bc wearing strange woven beret w branches n stuff

Alien to anything they've seen

"I would point you in the direction of the behemoths"

"what are behemoths"

Adam rolls nature check

9, he doesn't know what a behemoth is

She is from chault

Behemoths r considered friends there

Asyna and aerana know where chault is

Everyone else just knows chault is v far away, almost like a nightmare story told to children

Described as a hellscape

"I'd sooner go to chault than-"

Asyna and aerana know chault is a massive island to the sw of the sword coast, home to v tropical, intensely humid climate w lots of rain + some invasions in the past but now things r opening up

We're gonna check out the behemoths

From a distance, this exhibit much larger than others, much more heavily excavated

Not so much walls as railing looking into a deep cavern

All manner of plant life brought in to accommodate the creatures

Huge lizard of some kind

Huge size category

Irl a horse is large

Humans and dwarves are medium

Exhibit says it's a macetail behemoth

Ground trembles w each step of the behemoth

Slow, ponderous

Gigantic armored lizard w tough plating on its back and spikes on the sides of its head w bony, protective coverings all over it

Massive swinging tail protruding bone swinging back and forth as it walks

Looks like that one dinosaur

We would call it an ankylosaurus

Things that go over my head : see description bullet points before this

Tail end of speak with animals

Asyna can turn into dinosaurs

"you look really cool do you have a name"

One of them looks up but doesn't really respond

Doesn't answer

Look for velociraptors

Gonna look at all the exhibits

Spirehorn behemoths

Faces almost look like shields

Triceratops

Alien to us tho

I can't believe that like as dom's explaining these everyone else can like ,, imagine it

Like that's crazy they see pictures inside their heads

Feathered behemoths

Occasionally jump around

Claws and walk around on two legs

Bloodspike behemoth

Stegosaurus, baby and two parents

Asyna can turn into a deinonychus

We have enough time for one more exhibit

We see a creature alone in its pen save for two researchers dropping treats in front of it, other has a pickaxe and is tapping the ground and scooping smth up trailing the creature and brushing it into a bin

Creature reflects rainbow of colors ? I think

Huge snail, has three eyestalks but they kind of droop down and have heavy spikes off each individual one

Cel reads description

Flail snail?

It's a big boi

Described not as a beast but as something that comes from a realm of earth

As it moves it excretes glass

Generally docile but if prodded r really dangerous bc the things it has r more weapons than eyes

Adam asks if it's a petting exhibit

The flail snail is just as slow as a regular snail

"that is the most disgusting magic resistance I've ever seen in my entire life" - jacob 2020

Everything starting to shut down

We realize we should probs skedaddle

Time to find loser boy

Rain has not stopped but has kinda calmed down

Heading straight to the wig shop

Lamps in the trades ward r lit

Brighter than what we've seen recently

Adam peers into the shop

Perception check

6, tries to get water off the window, looks empty

Theo's gonna pick the lock

25, it's a simple lock and theo gets it open easily

Shop is empty

Somewhat eerie for those without darkvision bc the mannequins

Cel will go and investigate the back room, door is locked

Theo tries opening again

23, opens easily

Immediately smells weird powder

A lot of the perfumes for preserving dyes n stuff kept back here

Cel makes a perception check

16

V organized, neat and tidy

Manhole cover in the back

Sewer system v advanced in waterdeep but also means there's a lot of it

A lot of ppl will build over sewer openings bc cheaper real estate

"sewer access authorized city officials only"

Adam rolls nat20 for boxes

Looking for anything necromancy related, licking things, doing all manners of investigation

Feels a small leather sack, pulls it out, kinda heavy

Opens it up, sees coins that are kind of heavier and thicker; not silver, 5 platinum pieces

Platinum is 10 gp each

Could take the platinums

Scry the money and sack

There are cupboards at the front desk

Necromancy considered suspicious, looked down upon

"ah . It's like watching anime ." - jacob 2020

"no, it's not like watching anime" - dom 2020

The art itself is not a crime but the things that occur in tandem w it r usually crimes

Discussing what to do in character

Cel insight check, 16

Earlier dom mentioned we're aware many ppl in waterdeep use the sewers to traverse unseen in the city; kinda suss the building was built on top of a sewer

Adam is borrowing aerana's warhammer

Adam hits the floor, leaves big dent and a v loud sound

Cel makes strength check w advantage w crowbar

Rolls a 12, can't get it open

Can sort of shift it up

Adam smashes a jar over the floor

Dex check, 5

Cloud of neon yellow sprays out like a cloud of dust and smoke, just the color

Covered in bright yellow dye

Theo tries lockpicking

23, lock is more difficult and takes a little longer, but eventually it opens

Once it's opened, the chains undo themselves and snake out on their own accord

It's just a dark hole

Can see a short drop that leads to a staircase

Adam holds lantern

Cel's just gonna go w adam at the front, pitch dark

Darkvision lets us see to some extent; everything is in grayscale

Lantern beam does help us see a little

Asyna closer to front as well

Leads to a room, 10' x 20'

Descending down short flight of stairs, room totally bare save for a barred door that u can see out of, also locked

Hear faintly some water

Theo rolls 23 for lockpicking

Door opens

Adam investigating room for secret door, tunnel, anything

Investigation check, 10 and 5 for investigation checks

Look around but room is barren

Nothing stashed anywhere, nothing to indicate a secret door or anything

Adam and cel step out, to immediate right extends for 10ish feet before merging into wall

Directly in front is water and like a sewer river flowing to the right

"are there any rats" "make a perception check" "nat 1"

To left, passage curves so hard to see but for at least 40 or so feet the pathway continues

Adam rolls another 5 for investigation check

We eventually get to a small stone bridge

I FORGOT I RESEARCHED THE SEWER SYSTEMS idk if I should bring it up I brought it up

A 15 intelligence check

Waterdeep's sewers are a subject of fascination for the city

You know the passageway like the one ur in often has arteries or iron doors set in them leading to different areas

Also know sometimes due to poor planning or smth some areas without walkways also have access tunnels

There's a bridge ? Nasty water under it

Over the bridge we go

Cel rolls a 22, plenty of damp areas around ,, no light in the passage, walking for a minute or so and w each step just hear a wet squelching noise; we're leaving behind wet, muddy footprints

No sign of recent mud in front of us

10 minutes go by and every once in a while pass side arteries w more sewage flowing in

This part seems relatively well planned

Can only go straight ? No other curvature in the path

Traveling south

"I'm gonna try and get that rat" - adam 2020

Adam picks up the rat for sleight of hand check

22

"you're able to grab up that rat pretty good" - dom 2020

Adam holds rat out to asyna and tells her to do her thing

"hey buddy"

"uh you have to cast your spell first"

"hey pal how's it going"

"let me go"

"uh we'll let you go if you answer some of our questions"

"don't even"

"no he's saying don't eat him"

"my friend here holding you is gonna take a big chomp of you if you don't answer our questions"

"have you seen anyone"

"don't know"

"I open my mouth"

"I kind of want to squeak" - marguerite 2020

Rat points north

Adam wants a piece of string to tie onto the rat like a leash

Adam is starting to feel short of breath after 10 minutes of walking

"that's either from the powder . Or the key"

Adam doesn't feel indigestion right now just that it's difficult to get air

Adam tries to tie a leash to the rat

Dex check

Nat1

Rat runs away

We go back the way we came, another 10 minutes, we pass three of those stone bridges

Cel investigation checks the dead end again, adam will give bardic inspiration

"Open sesame" - song

18, nothing there

It's a maze, we'll try naya

Adam takes out sack of platinum

Naya appears, looks around and shudders and bounds away

Following the deer

Naya is guiding back to where we originally where

Moving south again

Looks at passage back again passage then vanishes

Naya was standing on one of the bridges

First artery

It's a passage

We gotta wade through the sewer

Aerana readies weapon

Wading through, halflings get disgusting smth in their boots

Passage goes 20 ft before turning on a diagonal, turn onto passageway then it extends v far into distance

"adam's adding to the sewage right now probably" - jacob 2020

Adam's feeling lightheaded

Cel makes medicine check on adam

Rolls a 6, don't know what's wrong bud

Adam rolls around in the sewer water to get the powder off ??

I guess he is

Adam makes a constitution save, a 3

OH? OH NO

The yellow stuff is off but adam is smeared in shit

Did I make a good or bad decision

We keep going but adam feels better like fine like nothing's wrong

Oh no adam's gonna die it's like hypothermia where u feel super hot at first then u die

Passageway stretches on for awhile until coming across a rusty ironed door raised so that we'd have to step up to access it

Aerana makes perception check on the door, 20 not a nat

Hears people shouting and what appears to be a cat

Can't tell if the shouting is bad or not

Theo wrings out cape

Go up to the door, realize there's no lock; the entire lock has fallen out bc the door is so rusty

Adam checks door for traps, 12 investigation

Does not appear to be trapped, looks p old

Adam is in middle, cel towards back, aerana at front

About 25' ahead is a wider chamber and a door set into the wall, the areas are lit

We already walked through the rusty door

Massive screeching sound that came from the door when u opened it

Gotta b stealthy

Door to the right is unlocked

Adam opens the door open, looks like a storage room w different crates and sacks; bland

Some water barrels, adam pours it on himself; the rest of us also do it

Moving into room adjacent to passageway; triangle things in the wall has arrow stuff to make it easier to fire from but the room looks abandoned

Deeper in we go

Don't go that far but hit a wider room extending out 40'

Center of the room; at one point looks like there was a wall covering the room but has since collapsed; several ppl looking at us

Far corner opposite to us is an old halfling man in dark robes, clutching wound at chest, long gray braid down back staring at us as if he heard we were coming

In front of him are two smiling skeletons

It's the necromancer

The skeletons r also looking at us

They appear to be guarding him

In front of skeletons are three kenku looking at us

Bingbong is not one of the kenku

"I can explain" - adam

"we came down here and I was covered in shit and" adam casts pyrotechnics centered in between skeletons and kenku

Initiative

Aerana, 19

Cel, 17

Asyna, 15

Adam, 15

Theo, 9

Aerana

Holds attack, if kenku move within 5 ft of her she'll attack

Cel

Skeletons have bows and shortswords

Kenkus have shortswords

Will hold an action if attacked

Skeletons

Appear to b human skeletons, medium size

Lash out at kenku

One kenku able to parry away an attack, other skeleton slashes another kenku

Asyna

Attacks kenku closest to her, the one not hit

15, "what are you attacking with" "iiiiiiiii don't knowwwwwwwwwww"

Asyna turns into ape

Runs up to terrified kenku

Swings both times but it gets out of the way and hisses like a cat

Adam

Casts pyrotechnics on kenku

One passes, one fails

Failed one is blinded for next turn

Cutting words on the kenku by asyna

Kenku

Blind

Tries to escape, skeleton misses and kenku staggers away and starts feeling way along wall and runs into room west of where we are

Other one

Makes attack on skeleton, half of ribcage slashed but it's still standing

Other other one

Tries to attack ape, misses

Halfling

Stands up, tries to flee

Theo

Hits kenku that tried to get asyna, 5 damage

Has sneak attack, deals 12 damage

Arrow shot into neck, still alive but not for long

Aerana

13 damage to other kenku

"how do you want to do this"

Kenku drops dead

Skeleton turns smiling to aerana

Cel

15 to hit, 6 damage, dead

"how do you want to do this"

Pulls arrow back as far as she can "and I don't know if it's bingbong, but I'm gonna pretend it's bingbong and shoot it right through his eye socket"

"I want to keep bingbong as a pet" - jacob 2020

"kenku are sentient beings, that would be slavery" - dom 2020

Looking around we see the bodies of three other kenku and remains of two other skeletons

The skeletons attack aerana

One hits, 3 damage

Asyna

Goes into the room to follow the halfling and the kenku

Some kind of exit around

The blinded kenku is in here

Can reach halfling or kenku

Marguerite wants to hug the halfling

Athletics check to do it

21

Old man screams but asyna can hold him, unable to escape

Kenku still feeling around on the floor

Adam

Follows asyna

Gonna cast sleep

Kenku falls asleep

Yells over at the halfling

"can you call off your skeletons please"

Halfling

Loser boy's turn

I don't remember how to spell losser unless it's losser

Tries to escape asyna's grasp

"he does not escape your grasp"

Asyna rolls another athletics check

17, he does not escape

Theo

14 to hit, 16 damage

"how do you want to do this"

Arrow to the skull just goes really far in and the skull falls off as do misc bones

Aerana

Misses hit

Tries to thrust forward w sword but it drops and contracts, sword slipping through ribcage

Cel

19 to hit

8 damage, hits shoulder and arm falls off

Skeleton

Misses

Asyna

Waddles the halfling over to adam

Gives him a little squeeze

Adam

baned halfling

And cutting words

No cutting words nvm

Halfling

Asyna rolls a 25

Can't squirm out

"unhand me there are more of them there are more kenku"

Theo

"ok. Bye bye skeleton boy"

22 to hit

12 damage

"how do you want to do this"

Hits him in the smile; teeth knocked out and all of it collapses like a xylophone type noise as the bones hit the floor

Out of combat

Aerana ties up sleeping kenku

Adam casts charm person

Cel is gonna loot

Investigation check, 7

10 gold combined on the kenku; takes

Halfling is charmed to consider adam a dear old friend

Says he just finished work on his new purse; his fanny pack (basically)

Not sure we recognize the material

Adam says he knows who sent the kenku

"you have the stone"

"they stole it from me"

Says he randomly found a nice stone from a rat

Adam puts his hand on loser boy's shoulder and asks if he wants to work from home

Trying to convince loser boy to come with us

Declines

The purse is made out of elf skin

Bc it's supple

Adam trying to get a magical weapon out of loser boy

Has a potion that protects from necromancers

Persuasion check, 24

Goes into side closet

Damage resist potion

Aerana kills him

Wow are you ?? Desensitized ?? Are you desensitized or does it help not being able to see anything ever

Adam rummages through loser boy's desk

Investigation check, 15

False bottom to one of the desk drawers w 100 gold inside

Cel investigation checks loser boy, 13

Finds a little wand w a skull tip

Adam is gonna look at the purse

This bag is a faint gold

Adam shakes the kenku awake, wisdom 13 saving throw

Fails

Charm person

Making dog noises

"you want to take us to your friends"

"I don't know where they are"

"then let's just go back to your base"

"get back to base ? No one knows where that is"

Adam introduces himself, mentions bingbong

Gets theo and cel's names, mimics sound of a hammer hitting metal when asked his name

His name is bonk now

Asks asyna's name, asyna is still an ape

Big hairy git

Aerana says she'll trade information for her name

Adam swings warhammer into ground to threaten kinda

Adam makes 12 insight check

We don't recognize any of the voices he uses

Asks if we live in a hole

Asks if the house is nice

Copies adam's voice for the house boom

Adam asks if he knows about the puppet

"couldn't tell you if I knew"

Nat20 adam runs insight check across entire conversation

He's lying abt not knowing where his friends are

I DFJGSLGJS THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING ABT US STILL GIVING UP INFORMATION ASFKJAFD

Adam asks him why he was lying

Hear a voice we've never heard before

But this one in particular is bizarre and warped as if it's through some filter

"do you know what happens when you lie to me"

Adam

Anyone w passive perception over 9 hears a bottle break and a door slam in one of the rooms to the south

Cel hits his brain basically

Some of you starting to piece together that smth strange is happening

Pattering of footsteps from room to the south

Session over for the night

[bittysvalentines]

The Light Goes Out for the Night

From: @beercheesecasserole

To: @dereknurseynurse

I hope you like it! It's about 2,200 words and it's all ANGST so be careful. I had a lot of fun writing it!

Relationship: Nurseydex

Content Tags: miscommunications, future fic, hurt/comfort, ANGST, SO MUCH ANGST, fluff, mention of homophobia, family support, arguing, Dex being emotionally constipated

---

William Joseph Poindexter frowns. His husband was supposed to be here more than twenty minutes ago.

Tapping his fingers on the polished surface of the dark wood table, he impatiently gazes around the quietly bustling cafe. The green awning he sits under in the outside seating section keeps the worst of the Autumn sun's heat away, but it's still hot enough to want a cold drink. Dex has one in front of him right now. The ice is completely melted.

William sighs and briefly thinks about texting his husband again. It isn't that he's worried, he's just annoyed. Sure, Derek Nurse is bad with staying on time, but usually he would have responded by now.

Will lets his fingers drum a more frantic rhythm into the table top at that thought.

With a small creak from the legs of the chair, Dex stands. He digs into his wallet with a quick hand and puts roughly the amount for the drink on the table. He needs to get out of here.

Fiddling with one of the buttons on his blue 'business casual' shirt, William makes his way back through the little cafe to the exit.

Just as he reaches the door, it's suddenly yanked open.

"The f-!" William steps back in surprise.

"Oh excuse me" The man in front of him says, not looking up, trying to get past.

William huffs in indignation. "DEREK."

The man looks up.

From the roots of his dark curly hair to the sharp edge of his jawline he begins to blush.

Derek straightens up and smiles happily, going in to kiss his husband. "Will! I was so worried I missed you!"

William pushes past him, through the green door of the cafe. Without a glance backwards, he begins to walk home. Honestly screw work at this point, Will thinks hotly.  

Behind him he can hear a confused "William?"

Dex walks faster, face burning. The soft tap of shoes follow behind him.

"Will?"

He does not stop.

"Baby, please, talk to me. I know I messed up, can we please talk?"

William stops with a huff of breath and turns to face him.

For a second he just looks. A messy mop of hair crowns a panicked face. Warm brown eyes are crinkled with worry and confusion. He's shivering slightly in the sudden autumnal afternoon chill. Derek is surprisingly dressed in what Dex privately refers to as his Sadboy Poet Clothes, a pair of grey slacks and a cozy black turtleneck.

"So you were at a reading?" Dex asks dryly.

Derek looks confused for a second. "What? No I-"

"Honestly, save it Derek." William interrupts caustically, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at him. "I should have known it was too much to expect you to keep the time for lunch."

"Dex, PLEASE-" Derek starts again, apology forming on his lips and hand reaching out for his.

"No!" William takes a sharp, angry step back, out of reach.

People passing on the sidewalk are starting to give them looks. This isn't Boston where people would get involved but even in New York people are still drawn to noise.

"You always fucking do this! Do you remember our last anniversary?" Dex continues angrily.

Nurse stands there, just looking at him, arms by his side.

"And our dinner with my parents. And the party with your sister! YOUR sister Derek!"

"William" Derek says quietly.

Dex feels something drip on his hand.

"WHAT?"

Another drip on his hand. Rain, Dex thinks wildly.

He raises a hand to his face. Tears are streaming off his chin. He didn't realize he ever started crying. Will just stares down at his wet fingers in shock, like he bled all over them instead of crying.

Suddenly very tired, Dex sits down abruptly on the stairs of one of the nearest brownstone that lines the small street. He puts his head in his hands and closes his eyes.

He just needs silence. He just needs to think. He needs... He needs...

It's completely quiet, except for the ambient noises of the street.

He feels a body sit gently down next to him. It shifts for a moment before going still and silent. "I didn't know you felt this way about me being late sometimes." Derek finally says quietly.

Dex heaves out what he won't admit is a dry sob. Now that it's over he's completely embarrassed about the entire outburst of emotion. He buries his eyes harder into the muscle of his forearm.

"S'fine" he croaks from his elbows.

"No, it obviously isn't" Derek says to Will from somewhere outside the circle of darkness that is his safe arm smush place.

Derek scoots a little closer, voice gentle. "This is something we need to talk about. When did this start?"

William reluctantly picks his head up from the safety of his arms and turns to look with red eyes at his husband. He takes in the worried lines of his eyes and the tightness of his hands as he grips his knees. Sniffing, he wipes his eyes on the sleeve of what used to be his best business casual shirt. He suddenly feels so, so tired and exposed.

"l don't want to talk about this here"

"Okay," Derek says encouragingly, standing up and reaching out for William. "Let's go home."

---

Derek Malik Nurse is an observant man. He can name the particular feeling shining in the eyes of a civil rights protester. He knows how to describe it so it feels like the fire in every reader's heart. He notices people and imagery and feelings and patterns. He likes to think he knows his husband pretty well.

But he has no idea where this is coming from. It scares him.

Yeah, they argue, it's part of who they are together. They both like the stimulation and color it brings to their lives. They prefer it to calm and quiet relationships.

The problem, Derek thinks as he pushes open the door to their apartment, is this feels like something else.

They both shuffle inside, peeling off layers of clothes. Autumn in New York means you prepare to freeze and burn all in one day.

When they're finished Derek turns to face his husband. He looks him over with a calm but discriminating eye. What he sees worries him.

William looks completely worn out. His cheeks are pale but at the same time way too flushed. The dark circles under his eyes look even deeper than usual. He's trembling a little.

Will crosses his arms and rolls his eyes as his husband looks him over, but there's no real bite to it. Even that worries Derek somehow.

"Well," he says resolutely, clapping his hands together. "We definitely need to continue our talk but first I think you need a drink."

"Derek I'm not going to DRINK at TWO in the-"

Nurse flashes a cheeky smile and throws his hands up in mock surrender as he walks backwards into the kitchen. "Chill, Will. I meant tea!"

William huffs a quiet, indignant breath and follows him in.

Derek putters around their small kitchen for a while, pulling out boxes and placing their tiny red teapot on a burner.

Will simply watches from where he's leaning against the counter. He isn't hungry anymore, but something warm sounds good.

Before Will can blink again, he's sitting on their couch wrapped in a blanket with a softly steaming cup of dried honey peach tea (courtesy of Bitty) warming his hands.

Derek flutters behind him, adjusting the blanket a bit before finally sitting down with his own cup of tea. He takes a quick sip and then stares down Will until he laughs a bit and sips his own.

"It's good" William says after he drinks about half and Nursey has stopped glaring at him.

Derek leans back into the couch. "Alright" he says. "Let's start this off. What's going on?"

He watches Williams face become far away. His eyes dull over.

"Baby?"

William turns to look at him with a look on his face that is simultaneously mutinous and fragile.

"I talked to my brother today"

Oh.

And there it is.

Derek puts both of their tea aside and pulls William's unresisting form into his arms.

Of all of the reactions of Will's family after he introduced them to Derek, his brother was the worst.

Jacob Poindexter had not shouted or yelled when he met Derek. He simply said goodbye to Will and drove away from the family home. He hadn't returned until Will and Derek drove back up to Samwell a week later.

Neither man had heard from him in years. He hadn't even replied to the wedding invitation they sent him. William had cried over that for a while with Derek holding him and rubbing his back. It was a long time until he felt okay to move forward again. Occasionally, Will's mom or dad would relay news about Jacob when they and Will skyped on Saturdays. It with sad eyes and a strained smile that either parent would hesitantly mention his new job, apartment or engagement. Both William's mom and dad had long since accepted their gay son. They just couldn't stop loving either of them.

Overall, William hadn't had contact with his brother for almost six years.

Until now, apparently.

So Derek takes a deep breath before continuing.

"What did he say?"

William is quiet in his arms for a little bit, just breathing and staring out into space.

Derek adjusts a bit while he's waiting so that his arm isn't so squished by Will's boney side.

"He wants to see me" Will says finally.

"That's great!" Derek says, running a hand through the his messy orange hair. "But?"

"But..." William continues, looking conflicted.

Derek waits. It's hard enough for Dex to talk about his feelings. He won't blow this by speaking too soon and making him bolt for emotional cover again.

William looks up into Derek's eyes for a moment before burying his face in his husband's shirt.

His words are muffled.

"I don't want to see him"

Derek rubs the back of Will's neck soothingly. "That's okay love."

Will looks up wild eyed at his husband. "No it ISN'T. He's my brother, he's my family! I can't hate him!" And Will is crying again.

Derek wipes tears out of his husband's eyes as he sobs. Will buries his face back in Derek's shirt.

Derek sighs quietly. It's times like this he wishes he had at least a sliver of frame of reference for his husband's experiences. He hates he can't relate to the kind of pain his love is experiencing.

He just rubs his back and waits until Will's sobs fade to hiccups.

As he begins to calm down and the tension flows out of his shoulders, Derek speaks.

"Here, shove up, I want to spoon you"

Dex laughs roughly and says in a water-logged voice "carry me to the bed?"

So Derek does.

Once they're situated, Derek speaks again. "Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you. You know that." Derek curls his arms a little tighter around the thinner man. "But in all honesty, I think you're right"

Will starts at that. "What?" He croaks. "But he's my brother!"

"Yeah" Derek says. He pushes his face into the messy mop of orange hair and breathes in deeply. "Look how even the idea of it affected you though. I can see you weren't okay. You were shaking. You got angry. You snapped at people."

Will makes a little apologetic noise. Derek pokes him in the stomach.

"And I forgive you for that. But I don't like how even the idea of seeing him affects you. There's nothing wrong with waiting."

William scoots around in his arms and slides one hand onto Derek's side. "I just" he starts lamely, eyes fluttering from Derek's eyes to anywhere but him. "I feel like if I don't go now.... I'll never want to."

"That's just fine. It's fine if you never want to see him. You're allowed that. But babe, you have no idea how you'll feel in the future. You might not want to, you might want to next week. Just... Don't push yourself with this." He finishes, searching the eyes of the man in front of him.

Will moves his hand up to cup his husband's face and just looks into Derek's eyes for a bit. Messages of love and support pass between them without a word spoken. They're both silent for a while as they just hold each other.

Eventually Will speaks.

"I'll wait for a bit. Talk to my mom about it tomorrow. Right now I think I need some time."

Derek moves forward and kisses the tip of his nose. Will smiles with warmth for the first time since they got home.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do" Derek says. And he means it.

Will smiles again and grabs Derek's hand. "Thanks baby. I love you."

"I love you too"

And the light goes out for the night.