#Jenn Proske

[adamwatchesmovies]

Vampires Suck (2010)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

While Vampires Suck is an improvement over Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's previous collaborations, this almost makes it worse. There are legitimately funny moments sprinkled here and there in this “Twilight” parody but just when your hopes begin to rise just a little bit, you’re hit with a deluge of groan-inducing pop-culture references, juvenile gags, unimaginative would-be jokes and farts.

Becca Crane (Jenn Proske, doing a good job lampooning Kristen Stewart’s character) moves to Sporks to live with her father, Sheriff Frank (Diedrich Bader). At school, she meets and is immediately smitten by Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) whom she slowly (very slowly) deduces is a vampire. When he admits his affection for her, they try to build a relationship but how could a blood-sucking monster love a teenage girl?

In the above summary, you can spot one clever touch from the pair responsible for such 0-zero gems as Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. “Edward Sullen” is pretty spot-on. “Becca Crane”? Not so much. At least it isn’t flat-out unfunny like so many of the film's torturously long scenes. If the film constantly found new ways to be bad it might be entertaining in a demented way, but that threshold is never reached. Most often, the jokes we get are the most obvious you could’ve made. It's as if the writer/directors committed to making the movie without any decent ideas, which is why Vampires Suck gets distracted from its subject matter and instead subjects us to people pretending to be the cast of Jersey Shore, Lady Gaga in a weird costume, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (at least that one's appropriate) and more. Of course, the directors assume you’re an idiot so every joke is spelled-out for you. If you have to explain why it’s funny… it probably isn’t funny.

If all the worthwhile moments in Vampires Suck were stitched together, you’d probably get about 5-minutes’ worth of footage - that's rounding up. It’s a testament to the true incompetence of the filmmakers because the movie doesn’t even parody the entire Twilight series. It stops at Eclipse (which was released the same year) and for this, there’s no excuse. Say what you will about the films based on Stephenie Meyer’s series. I’ve heard people make compelling arguments for the first one and I’ll take it over Fallen, After, Beastly, Red Riding Hood, and the other imitators. Even the most hardcore Twihards must admit what happens in Breaking Dawn is so utterly bizarre it naturally lends itself to jokes. The books were already out when this film was being made. There’s no reason for this spoof NOT to cover what would’ve taken place after Eclipse but instead, we get a non-ending. Were they expecting us to sit through another one of these? @$#%# me.

When your parody of the movie isn’t even as funny as the original, you’ve got problems. Do you want some laughs? Here’s what I recommend you do. Watch the original Twilight and then, do some digging. There’s a little-known, super-cheap, thoroughly incompetently-made knockoff called The Last Vampire on Earth. Watching those two films back-to-back brought my friends and me to tears. As for Vampires Suck, I laughed at Magicwandos' song My Panties but not much else. (On DVD, August 2, 2019)

[hopefulshipper]

[yeahthatsinteresting]

| Vampires Suck (2010) |

[aarontveit]

[quote-junkie]

Love yourself - It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.

Jenn Proske

[mladyartist]

“Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.” - Jenn Proske

[simplyettad]

Today's Inspiration

Today’s Inspiration

[worthsomethingtoday]

Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out ~~ Jenn Proske

[momo-de-avis]

Oh my god adam driver too was on Law and Order SVU lmao

[fc-collect]

[hopefulshipper]

[yourbeautifulquotes]

"Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out."

- Jenn Proske

[beaninspirer]

Being perfectionist does not exist. Beauty lies in what you are

Being perfectionist does not exist. Beauty lies in what you are

People always believe in matching the industry and society set standards of beauty. But who has set the standards of beauty? Also to recognize your inner Beauty you must understand and have Self Love. Loving yourself is all you need to do to stay happy, healthy and content. It is very rightly said that every point in time we are in search of  beauty but the person who finds its within has no more…

[lovemelovelyghost-blog]

Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.

Jenn Proske

[youngfcs]

hello! i was wondering if you had any ideas for siblings for hamish linklater? thank you 💛

Hello dear! Of course I have 💛 you're welcome!

F:

Italia Ricci (27-34)

Genevieve Cortese (32-40)

Jenn Proske (26-34)

Libe Barer (21-29)

Maggie Siff (39-47)

Miranda Cosgrove (20-28)

Phoebe Waller-Bridge (28-36)

M:

Hale Appleman (27-35)

Noah Silver (20-26)

Brandon Routh (33-41)

Jamie Blackley (22-30)

Michiel Huisman (32-40)

Tom Ellis (34-42)

Adam Brody (35-41)

(cib)

[quote-junkie]

Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out.

Jenn Proske