#Jimmy Lynch

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Human Tornado (1976)

Dolemite is back and he’s… better than before? worse than before? Hard to say. One thing’s for sure, The Human Tornado is not a good movie but it sure is fun to watch. With great quotable lines, cartoon characters for villains, a self-deprecating sense of humour and plenty of technical flubs for you to poke fun at, it’s continuously enjoyable and always in new ways.

After Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) is caught in bed with the racist sheriff’s wife, he is framed for her murder. On the run with his friends, they head to California to meet Queen Bee (Lady Reed), a succesful club/brother owner. The local mob boss, Joe Cavaletti (Herb Graham) isn’t too happy about his diminishing profits and has kidnapped two of her girls. Dolemite and his impossible charm & virility is just what she needs to find out where they’re held.

You might consider this a better film than “Dolemite” because the script is better organized than its predecessor's. Moore’s trademark rhyming standup is still here, but instead of the plot coming to a screeching halt in a parking lot so he can impress people who just happen to be there, we get a scene setting up his newfound success as a comedian before the plot kicks off. His patented expressions and speech mannerisms are peppered throughout as ways for him to express his disdain for others (you rat-soup eatin’ mother f#cker!) or his surprise (b*tch, are you for real?!) writing them down does not do them justice. His delivery is hilarious. Something must be said about the film being perfectly aware of what it is. On one occasion, Moore/Dolemite breaks the fourth wall and re-plays one of the film’s “better” stunts to prove to us that he really did do that jump. The racist Sheriff on his tail is so racist and so over-the-top he might as well be an R-rated Yosemite Sam. It’s hard not to laugh at him or at the scene where we learn why Dolemite is called The Human Tornado.

Everything that made Dolemite a bad, but enjoyable picture is here too. The fight choreography is awful. Kicks and punches obviously miss by a mile and scenes are clearly sped up to make them seem more dynamic. Anyone with eyes can tell Moore could never, ever defeat the enemies the way he does in this film - martial arts training or not. As for the writing, "amateurish" is a generous term. When Dolemite and his buddies get to California, the film wastes time by having them wander from one place to another, looking for Queen Bee. It’s almost as if the clubs they visit are only there because they helped pay for this shoddy production. It makes you wonder how much of what you see was made “bad” on purpose, which makes it delightful. There's a psychedelic sex scene during the second half whose setup is ludicrous. I’ve seen more realistic scenarios in XXX-rated films. You think it’s just a gag but the follow-up is trying to be artsy in such a weird way it kind of makes you want to see the whole thing again, just to determine how you should feel about it.

There’s A LOT of nudity throughout, which might make some viewers uncomfortable. I say if you can’t be good, be sleazy. It makes up for the lack of over-the-top and shoddily-created gore I usually like to see at this level of filmmaking. Some of the intentional gags get tiresome pretty quick, however. Dolemite doing fake screams while revving himself up for a brawl is smile-worthy - at best - the first time around. Whenever he does it again afterward, you start reaching for the tomatoes.

I must also speak to you of another scene, one of my favourites because it unintentionally sends the wrong message. Dolemite and his (mostly useless) buddies are hitchhicking to California. They realize no one in America will stop their car to pick up this many Black men at once. It’s a harsh truth. So what do they do? All of them but one hide in the bushes and when a car stops, they pull out a gun, hold the driver hostage and force their way in the car. Guys! THIS is the reason why people don’t stop their cars to pick up Black hitchhickers!

With stereotypes aplenty, too many bare breasts to count, action scenes that’ll have you howling, a ridiculous plot and genuine enthusiasm from people who really wanted to make the best, most entertaining film they could, The Human Tornado is a great movie to sit down and watch at with friends. It’s what Moore would’ve wanted and he probably wouldn't even mind that you're laughing at the film, rather than with it. (April 9, 2021)

[heart4reigns]

Is there anyway I could request an imagine for either Rhea Ripley or Roman Reigns? Where the Reader is a new star getting a really big push because they feel they have huge potential, and she’s a literal ray of sunshine. She’s always smiling and happy and colorful, and it shocks others that they are together. Then she ends up joining their faction, but the crowd just can’t hate her and even the announcers can’t hate her. <3 :) :)

PUSH AND PULL, roman reigns.

warnings: curse words

tags: tension between roman and rhea, you realize that i love making up stage names so... more stage names!

summary: it’s all sunshine and rainbows with you

"THE sunshine, (y/n), how are you feeling tonight?" you were backstage, doing a quick interview. "hello, hello! we're feeling great tonight, how are you?" you returned the question. "feeling good as well. so, how are you adapting to your new environment?" she asked, referring to your transfer from nxt to smackdown. "it's going well, i can't help but to thank all the people that support me! although i kinda miss the dark lighting, it's too bright here." you cracked a joke.

"right, any invitations to any factions?" she continued the interview. "no, but i'm open to any invitations. i'd love to work with anyone." she couldn't help but to smile at your reaction. "this has been (y/n), sunshine! it was so great talking to you." you nodded and gave her a hug as the camera stopped rolling. "thank you, you did a great job!" "you too, (y/n). it was so nice talking to you!"

the walk back to the locker room was filled with people greeting you left and right. you were well-known for your kindness. people grew comfortable with your presence. "yooo!" you saw one of your new locker room best friends, jimmy. "what's good, man?" you hugged him. "watched your promo earlier, you killed it!" your ears perked up in excitement. "really? god, i'm embarrassed!" you were blushing. "nah girl, you're killing the game. now let's go eat before we go back to the hotel." he gave you a huge grin.

"hope you don't mind but i asked roman to join us, not solo though. dude's been mia since this morning." you nodded at jey's sentence. you always loved meeting new people. this was also the first time you were going to meet roman. "i've always wanted to meet roman! this is gonna be fun." you grinned. "damn girl, are you always this positive? people are intimidated by him, yet you're excited?" jimmy parked the car. "nah man, i am only scared of paul. i swear that guy knows everything." the three of you laughed.

to say the least, people who met you thought that this positivity image was only for the cameras. but they were wrong, you weren't going to lose anything by being nice. denny's seemed like a good idea at 3 am in the morning. "yo man!" as the three of you entered the diner, roman was already sitting there–playing with his phone.

"hi! i'm (y/n)!" you sat in front of him, offering him a huge smile. he looked up from his phone, returning your expression. "hello." just a simple 'hello' made your heart flutter a bit. "i'm roman, finally glad to meet you. i heard so much about you from the twins." "they can't stop shit-talking me!" you frowned, lightly smacking their heads.

you always looked up to him. as the two of you came from the same background, a long reigning wrestling families. you were the only daughter of your family, so you had to continue the family business. "so wait, sorry. lost track of time, you just got drafted from nxt?" roman furrowed his brows. "yeah! i'm very very new." you chewed on your pancakes. "how come everyone has these locker room stories about you?"

"that's because she's different man." jimmy slung his arm over your shoulder. "no, no. those locker room stories are just exaggerations!" you shook your head in defense. "nah, she's too humble! she bought donuts the other week you were off. god, i swear, you're a blessing (y/n)." roman couldn't help but to smile at your little arguments with his cousins.

the 'locker room talk' was just a compilation of people admiring you for your kindness. "shit dude, gotta bounce." jey looked at his phone. "and where are you going?" you asked him. "bro and i haven't packed, y'all packed yet?" jimmy stood up from his seat, leaving only you and roman sitting down. "oh, yeah. packed earlier." "me too!"

"then, we'll leave you two. i trust her in your hands, bro." jey gave roman a fake warning, acting all 'big bro' moment. "she can beat your ass if she wants to!" jimmy continued. "okay shoo now! i'm trying to make friends!" they left and you continued your conversation with roman. "tell me more about yourself, (y/n)." his eyes sparked an interest in you. "really? you want to hear about my boring life?" you tilted your head in confusion. "there's no way your life is boring, you're a (l/n)."

and so the conversation went on and on. the two of you decided to leave denny's and drive around town together. it was never quiet. the entire ride was filled with laughter and jokes. "i actually look forward to my future. i'm excited for what life has planned for me." you parked in a random parking lot, still enjoying your talk with him. "and i'm excited for you as well, you're a good person, (y/n)." roman said, facing you. "i guess it's in my nature to treat people with kindness, i mean... it doesn't hurt anyone."

when the two of you went back to the hotel, you saw familiar faces going downstairs for breakfast. "and where have you been pretty girl?" you saw a certain black-haired girl greeting you with a sly smirk. "been around town with roman!" you hugged her, feeling her height towering you. "oh you're taking my girl now, reigns?" rhea raised a brow at him. "you're dating her?" roman was hella confused.

"oh no, it's a joke! i always call her my work wife!" you giggled, clearly not seeing that she was interested in you. "see you on the bus, wifey!" you waved at her, entering the elevator. "better watch it, bro." rhea whispered as roman followed you. he made a mental note that everyone was protective over you. being the new girl, your family thought that you'd be intimidated by the older talents–but in reality, everyone loved you.

it was clear that several talents took an interest in you, but being the friendly person you were, you saw everyone in a platonic way. "can i perhaps," he paused for a second. "get your number? you're a very fun person to talk to." you grinned and exchanged numbers. "if you need anyone to talk to, don't hesitate to call or text me!" you parted ways.

and on that day, the roman reigns too, took an interest in you. "fuck." he whispered, realizing that he was soon going to develop an actual liking to you.

you were sharing the ride with several stars in the second bus. road trips were always exciting, whether it's cody singing on the back of the bus, or seth trying to do a backflip while becky stops him–not wanting him to throw up, it was always a magical moment seeing your fellow wrestlers without their strong tv persona. "hey." rhea greeted you, sitting on an empty seat next to you. "this empty?" she asked. "indi is gonna be pissed to know that her seat is taken. but, it's empty." you replied.

"where did you go yesterday?" rhea couldn't help but to terrorize you with questions. "with roman? we drove around town, shared stories. we ate with the twins earlier, but they left because they haven't packed." you recalled the moment. "i see." she shortly replied. "there was a picture of you two circling around twitter, you looked very close." rhea pulled out her phone, showing you a picture of you laughing with roman. "aw, i look so happy!" she couldn't help but to smile at your cluelessness. before she could say anything, seth pointed at you. "BACKFLIP CHALLENGE?" "IT'S ON!"

you heard from the fans that the second bus was the party bus. everyone was always on their highest spirits. the seat next to you was empty, as rhea was dragged to the back by dominik. that left you space for you to stretch your legs. you were about to watch a movie until you saw a notification popped up.

unknown number: how's your bus?

(y/n): sorry, who is this :)?

unknown number: oh it's roman

(y/n): HIIIII :)

roman: and why are you up? everyone's knocked out here

(y/n): sorry to say but the second bus is the party bus! we're still going :)

roman: damn that sounds fun, the only entertainment we have here is jey freestyling

(y/n): that's sounds amazing!

(y/n): gotta bounce, rhea wants to watch a movie with me n dominik :)!!

roman: okay, see you at the arena

(y/n): :)

the arena was swarmed with fans. some of them were holding signs and pictures of you. one of them said '(Y/N) JOIN THE BLOODLINE!' and some said 'JUDGEMENT DAY IS WAITING FOR YOU, SUNSHINE!'. you took some pictures of the sign and posted them on your twitter. you talked to several fans, trying your best to greet everyone.

"you're quite popular." a familiar voice startled you. "roman!" "hi." everyone was looking at the two of you. "how was your trip?" you asked, still signing some pictures. "knocked out cold, can't stand solo's snores though." you chuckled. "mine was filled of seth jumping from seats to seats." he was obviously not surprised by one of his friend's antics. "you should ride with me, we can judge jey's freestyle together." you nodded in agreement. "that sounds fun!"

you walked away with roman, still chatting up. little did you know, people were still looking at the two of you. "they look cute together." one of your fans said. "nah man, she's with rhea." "nah, that's a long-running joke. (y/n) is obviously single." and they were right. you were single and maybe, ready to mingle.

you were hanging out in your hotel room with your manager, ethan. ethan went over your schedule. "you got quite the boost here, (y/n)." he muttered, still looking at his phone. "hmmm?" you tilted your head. "you and roman now?" he asked. "why does everyone keep on asking me that? we're friends!" you chuckled. "because everyone is apparently 'shipping' you guys now." "oh please, they ship me with everyone i interact with! remember when they 'shipped' me with balor? because we went to the gym together?"

tonight, you were fighting against dakota kai. you always looked forward to dance in the ring with her. of course, the company was going to make you win this fight. "good luck, sunshine." she hugged you as the training ended. "see you tonight, love!" you hugged her back.

the locker room was hyping you up. "LET'S GO, (Y/N)! LET'S GO, (Y/N)!" you were stretching your body, matching the energy of the locker room. your true hypemen were there; the twins. "go kill it, (y/n)!" jey said, patting your back. "thanks, i will do my best!" as the crew called your name, you went outside the locker room.

everyone was busy doing their job. you passed several crew, waving at them. you saw a similar face and immediately ran to him. "roman!" your high-pitched voice caught his attention. "(y/n)! you're up in 5." a crew said. "i'll be there!" you replied. "good luck." came out of his mouth. "i'm rooting for you." he joked, knowing well that he already saw the script. "thanks big boy." you jokingly punched his chest. "cheer for me!"

"and her contender for tonight, the rising superstar–sunshine!"

roman was looking at the monitor from his locker room, which was practically empty. "should watch her match tonight man, it's gonna be crazy." jey passed him a bottle of water. "watch this." jimmy pointed at the screen. the crowd went wild when they saw you do your signature move. with your colorful gear, you were definitely the centre of everyone's attention.

he saw immense talent coming straight from you. "this is wild as hell." roman commented. "you sure she's new here?" he asked. "i think creatives landed a goldmine when they decided they were going to push her." paul commented. seeing you do a super kick clicked something inside of him. "i want her in."

you were exhausted as you lifted your fist up in the air. you helped dakota from her position and took her hand. "you did amazing!" you mouthed. "you did great, girl!" she replied. you won but it was all because of the help of your opponent. the walk backstage was kind of painful as you were limping from your injuries. the smile on your face was still there, you didn't want to show people that your leg was hurting.

"you okay there, (y/n)?" as you took off your hand-wrap, the voice from earlier greeted you again. "you again?" you teased him. roman was also sweating from his appearance. "can't help but to see you limping." roman chuckled, sitting on the bench next to you. "i'm good, kinda botched the last move, but i lifted my leg so dakota won't land on her neck!" you explained. "you did that to save her?" "hey, i'll take a bullet for anyone!"

the next following days were filled with more road trips and endless training time. "(y/n)!" you were in the gym, staring the red punching bag. "hey, ethan! what's up?" you asked him, cracking your knuckles. "you have time?" "just say whatever you want, i can multitask!" you started your work out. "so, you're gonna want to hear this." punch. "yeah, what's that?" punch.

"you're going to be in the bloodline." another punch. "i am going to be in the what?" the punching bag fell on the floor. "I AM TURNING HEEL?" you grinned with excitement. sometimes people around you wonder about what goes on in your head–like your stage name, you were always the sunshine of the room.

"you heard the news?" roman and you were eating lunch together. it became a routine for the two of you. everyone couldn't help but to notice the two of you becoming closer than before. you shared the same brand, but you were never one to eat lunch with the tribal chief. "yeah! god, it's so thrilling... me? finally joining a faction? couldn't ask for more!" you took a sip of your water. "a bit too cynical for you?" you shook your head. "i can fit right in!" you pulled off a fake smug face. "okay, you don't fit this evil-like image."

as it became a routine, you took a liking to the champion. he was nice, returning the energy that you had for everyone. he also took you to several 'lunch dates' that ended on the two of you gaining more feelings for each other. there was definitely something going on between you. "are we going to the dog park this weekend?" you asked him. "whatever you want to do, princess." he smiled. "i'll bring my dog! god, a dog park date, that sounds fun!" your cheeks flared up as you mentioned that it was going to be a date.

"is it a date?" he teased you. "shut up, i didn't mean it like that!" you blushed. "damn, i'm disappointed." he 'cried'. "or do you want it as a date date?" you teased back. "i don't mind, princess." roman replied. the constant flirtings, the never-ending dates, or phone calls when the two of you weren't together, it was obvious that romance sparked in between. tension was there. he slung his arm around your shoulder, your bodies colliding with each other, it was already a muscle memory for the two of you.

even the staffs noticed that the kindness you gave roman was different. "but i don't mind if you consider it as a date, i'd love that." you confessed. "i'm gonna take you on as many dates as we can, baby." he smiled. "sorry for bothering you, but your gear is done." you looked up and saw the costume staff approaching you. they altered your gear to fit the bloodline's aesthetic. "oh really? thanks!" you replied.

"you wanna see it?" you asked roman. receiving a nod from the tribal chief. "let's go!" you took his hand and went to one of the locker rooms. "dude, this is amazing!" black and red–the bloodline colors. "wait, go out! i'm gonna change." roman quickly went out the locker room. "are you done?" "YES! GOD, THIS IS SO COOL!" roman went inside the room and saw you with the bloodline gear. you looked amazing, he thought. "y- you look good." he stuttered. "AND I FEEL GOOD!" he was really thankful that the two of you were going to work together.

there you were, in the backstage, with the bloodline. "how you feeling tonight?" solo asked you. you were jumping up and down with adrenaline in your veins. "SO EXCITED!" you spoke louder, due to the loud music. none of your fans knew that you were turning heel, it was the company's secret. the crowd was kind of worried because they didn't hear from you for days. it was going to be a huge surprise.

"the bloodline!" you huffed out the air, waiting for the grand entrance. as you walked out, carrying one of roman's title, you could hear gasps coming from the crowd. "is that- is that sunshine with the bloodline? why is she with them?" you expected everyone to boo at you, but they did the opposite. the crowd popped.

as soon as you got inside the ring, roman started speaking to the mic. "i know y'all are wondering about why sunshine is here." he spoke. "and you guessed it right, our newest member of the bloodline, my personal pick, sunshine." roman winked at you, only to receive a huge smile that didn't match the persona of the bloodline members.

maybe, just maybe, turning heel and being in the same ring as your crush was going to be a fun rollercoaster ride.

a/n: hi!! thank you for the request, sorry if it’s a bit underwhelming, but i hope you enjoyed it!! i decided this request would fit roman as i already have a similar draft for this… so yeah :) i have 2 more requests coming up, but requests are still open!!

[the-wrestling-cave]

Did you watch the pumped up press event?

[damiansgoodgirll]

guys!!!

it’s wrestlemania week!!

give me your predictions 🤠🤠🤠

[dynamitekansai]

WWE RAW (MARCH 25, 2024)

[angelkerisimasi]

SummerSlam in Detroit Trailer (at 0.7 Speed)

[msbigredmachine]

MY WRESTLEMANIA 40 PREDICTIONS

Wrestlemania 40 starts tonight. Wish I was in the States right now 😭 I had to put in my 2 cents on how the show is going to go down.

This is my opinion and nothing more.

-----------

NIGHT ONE

Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Becky Lynch for the Women's World Title - I think someone else is dethroning Rhea. She’s way too popular right now too.

Gunther (c) vs. Sami Zayn for the WWE Intercontinental Title - same as above. Someone more formidable is dethroning Gunther.

The Judgment Day (Finn Balor and Damian Priest) (c) vs. #DIY (Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa) vs. The Awesome Truth (The Miz and R-Truth) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) vs. A-Town Down Under (Austin Theory and Grayson Waller) vs. New Catch Republic (Pete Dunne and Tyler Bate) in a Six-Pack Ladder match for the Undisputed WWE tag Team Titles - apparently the titles are getting split, so there’s that.

Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso - Jimmy has essentially been booked as a joke. He needs this win more than Jey does. Jey will be fine, but for some melodramatic reason I see Jey sacrificing himself for his big brother’s sake.

Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill and Naomi vs. Damage CTRL (Dakota Kai, Asuka, and Kairi Sane) - no brainer. WWE are not letting Jade lose her very first match.

Latino World Order (Rey Mysterio and Dragon Lee) vs. Santos Escobar and Dominik Mysterio - Dragon Lee has been replaced by Andrade. The result won’t change because Carlito will turn on Rey for looking him over again.

Roman Reigns and The Rock vs. Cody Rhodes and Seth "Freakin'" Rollins - Why have another standard main event match when Bloodline Rules stipulation has been thrown out there? Also, Rock pins Cody. The storyline has focused much more on them and this heaps more adversity on Cody to win.

NIGHT TWO

Seth Rollins (c) vs. Drew McIntyre for the World Heavyweight Title - Seth’s done all he can do with his reign. Drew has earned a title win in front of fans. The Bloodline may cost Seth. No comment on that guest hypocrite commentator.

Iyo Sky (c) vs. Bayley for the WWE Women's Title - No brainer. Bayley gets her redemption story. Iyo has been good but her title reign has run its course.

Logan Paul (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens for the WWE United States Title - I honestly couldn’t choose, so I picked KO because I like him the best. The match will be fire though.

LA Knight vs. AJ Styles - I’m not very invested in this match. May the better white man win.

Bobby Lashley, Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins vs. The Final Testament (Karrion Kross, Akam, and Rezar) in a Philadelphia Street Fight - I’m DEFINITELY not invested in this match. Get Bobby, Montez and Angelo out of this garbage feud, pronto!

Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes for the Undisputed WWE Universal Title - My Tribal Chief has had one of the greatest title reigns and orchestrated one of the most compelling storylines in pro wrestling history. He’s beaten the entire roster. It’s time to move the responsibility of ‘Face of the WWE’ to someone else. I like Cody. Wrestling with a torn pec for 30 mins earned my respect. I think he will do a great job of carrying the company and the matchups will be fresh. It will be Bloodline Rules to make way for all the overbooking that’s going to take place in this match. The Rock will turn on Roman to cost him the title and kick-start their feud for WM41.

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Thoughts? Am I thinking too much into all of this, lol. Mania is going to be awesome!

[rawsmackdownnxtdivas]

Happy Valentine's Day!!! 💝

[mafiosaseries]

🔥 Monday Night Raw 🔥

[adamwatchesmovies]

Shaolin Dolemite (1999)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

If Shaolin Dolemite had any decency, it would’ve jumped into a volcano and incinerated itself before the editing was done. You can’t make a movie that’s “so bad it’s good” on purpose and if you’re going to try, don’t make it last nearly two hours. For fans of martial arts films, it has nothing to offer. The plot is incomprehensible. It has no stakes, no characters, and a structure so wobbly the slightest breeze would topple it. Even for the most generous admirers of Rudy Ray Moore, this is painful.

When Tupac (Eugene Thomas), steals the Wu-Tang clan’s Dolby Digital death bell and joins forces with a group of evil ninjas, his mentor, Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) disowns him. As the villains attack a Shaolin temple, a new student of its master, Japanese Prince Sanada (Alexander Lou), two members of the Shabazz clan (Toby Russell and John Ladalski), Davey Crockett (Silvio Azolini) and a Shaolin princess (played by Mandy Pang - I think; more on that in a moment) team up to stop them.

Someone could put a gun to my head and I still wouldn’t be able to tell you the name of any of this film's characters except for the “joke” ones. Firstly, because it’s a struggle to stay awake during this film. It’s little more than a lame redub of the 1986 Taiwanese kung fu film Ren zhe da (known in English as Ninja: The Final Duel) with about 15 minutes of new footage spliced in (this is where you get your Rudy Ray Moore). All of the characters receive ridiculous names, lame racial jokes are inserted throughout and when writers Robert Tai (who also “directs”), George Tan, Jimmy Lynch, and Rudy Ray Moore couldn’t think of anything, they just inserted a bunch of obscenities to pad out the dialogue. It’s impossible to remember who’s who thanks to the utter lack of characterization.

There's more. After Tupac steals the bell, the movie is non-stop fighting. That might sound good, but here’s the thing: you never know who is on who’s side, what the stakes are, who’s winning or losing, or what anyone is fighting for or about. It’s just people in silly costumes jumping around, mock-punching and kicking. The stunts might be better than you’re used to if you’ve been following Moore’s filmography, but not by much. Your eyes quickly glaze over the mind-numbing display of athletics from people at a dojo who had nothing better to do with their weekend than shoot this movie. Then, we get to the second reason you won’t be able to remember anyone’s name: the ending. It’s so abrupt you’ll wonder if you dozed off and then halfway through, the names stop scrolling and the movie cuts to black. Who played who? Doesn't matter.

I can’t say for sure, but I’m about 99% certain Ninja: The Final Duel is awful. The special effects are never convincing. The picture quality, cinematography and performances are trash. You can tell the performers are no good even though you can’t hear their dialogue and what they were originally saying has been covered up by Shaolin Dolemite. Essentially, this is like watching a bad movie on mute while a bunch of unfunny people subject you to their comedy act. While a broken clock is right twice a day, you could be having just as much fun tracking down the original Ninja: The Final Duel and doing the same thing because it would be 15 minutes shorter.

Anyone who speaks enthusiastically about this rusty bowl of dog butter covered in bad ebonics will talk about the topless female ninja. BiG dEaL. The shots of uncovered nipples last about 15 seconds. It’s hardly anything to get excited about and in a movie featuring Rudy Ray Moore? that’s an insult. Wait. That's the perfect word to describe this movie! I hated Shaolin Dolemite. (July 30, 2021)

[heart4reigns]

UNTOUCHABLE, jey uso.

next chapter

warnings: curse words, cigarettes, alcohol, substances, parties, flirting, platonic relationship, implied sexual activities

tags: it’s an all girls-all boys campus party bash! college!au, and all those campus things… (y/n) isn't like other girls she's emo leave her alone, 10 things i hate about you situation

summary: you were totally untouchable to him

BEING in an all-girls campus was probably the worst decision your parents had ever made for you. you were in another state, far away from your comfort zone. it was your third year, one more year to go before you could escape this hellhole. “HELL YEAH, 86 BABY!” your thoughts were cut-off by your best friend’s voice. “that's what you get for studying non-stop." you smiled. "fuck, i'm finally free from mr. smith's wrath... my saturdays are gonna be wild again!"

the campus ground was divided by several groups. to your luck, you were put in the girls building with all of your sorority girl friends. on the other side of your ground was the boys building. the barrier didn't stop them from throwing huge parties, inviting everyone the could see or talk to. your roommate, becky, was one of the most popular girl you could ever think of. contrary to the 'it girl' image she had, she was a sweetheart. her boyfriend, on the other hand–was a lot. the lovebirds were your closest friends, you'd take a bullet for them.

people couldn't believe that you were in damage ctrl, the college's top sorority. truth be told, you were dragged by becky since her mother’s sister was the one who founded the club. you took a role in academics, helping everyone with their grades–you were quite the tutor for everyone. even the members of the fraternity respected you and occasionally asked for your help.

outside of your studies, you didn't have the presence that becky and seth had. sure, people turned their heads when they see you, but no one ever had the guts to talk to you. except for this mullet emo dude chewing his pasta in front of you. "you should start selling these, (y/n)." dominik praised your cooking skills. "can you please shut up, i'm trying to study." you groaned in despair. "we're literally hanging out and you still choose your books over me?" dominik was your first friend, a year older than you. he was in the same year as seth, finishing up his thesis. "i am looking up qualitative theories for your thesis, do you want me to help you or not?" "right, comrade. i'll just shut up."

"are you coming tonight?" it was a rhetorical question. of course you weren't coming to seth's party. "no, i am not." becky came to the park after her classes, she was sitting on the grass with you and dominik. "see, told you she wasn't coming." dom rolled his eyes. "she never comes to the bloodline frat parties." he continued. "that's because i stopped partying when i was 18." you used to be a party animal back in your younger days, you grew tired of the scene. "boo, i wish we were friends in high school." "dominik, i went to an all-girls private school."

"i mean, jey's definitely gonna be there." becky winked at you. "becks, that was like 2 years ago." you rolled your eyes. "shit, right. i remember you having a crush on him. that was so funny, he's like... totally not your type." you threw your book at dominik, earning a groan. "ow, that hurts! i'm telling the truth right here." you had flashbacks during your first year where you fawned over a certain senior who had arms covered with tattoos, always wearing a chain necklace, and a stupid fucking smile that made your heart beat faster than usual.

the three of you continued the conversation, when all the sudden you heard a menacing laugh coming from behind you. you immediately knew who it was. "SETH, IF YOU PULL MY HAIR ONCE AGAIN, I WILL ACTUALLY SMACK YOU!" right before he could lay his hands on your hair, he backed off. "awwww, that sucks!" he went over to sit next to his girlfriend, giving her a kiss. "hey babe, we were just talking about your party." becky said. "(y/n) is coming?" you shook your head. "as usual. what are your plans for tonight then?" he asked. "i'm going to town to pick up some books professor heyman asked me to get."

seth was the top frat boy of the bloodline. everyone knew the bloodline threw wild parties and tonight? it was one of the biggest since they were all going to graduate soon. "well, if you change your mind the password for tonight is 'don't tell my mom i fucked cody rhodes last night'." he winked. "was originally gonna be '(y/n) (l/n) helped me with my thesis' but we don't want you to kill us." dominik chuckled. "fuck off." you groaned. "we know you love us, (y/n)."

you were getting ready for your short trip to town. you looked at the mirror and fixed your outfit; dom's black jacket (that you took when he wasn't looking), a black tanktop, your favorite corduroy flare pants, and a pair of boots that becky and seth gave you for your birthday present this year. "you look too good to go to a fucking library." becky shouted from her room. "who knows i might meet a hot professor there?" she cringed at your sentence. "be careful okay? oh, no one's gonna be home because we're all going to the party." you nodded. "don't forget to leave the keys inside the flowerpot."

and like usual, becky forgot to put the fucking keys inside the flowerpot. you cursed under your breath, trying your best to call the entire sorority, only to receive nothing but voicemails. you had no other choice than to go there. "here goes nothing." you muttered. the walk to the frat house was thrilling. you had to hide behind a bush, a trashcan, and a tree because of the night-guards.

“password?” the frat boy asked. “don’t tell my mom i fucked cody rhodes last night.” you replied, remembering the password seth gave you earlier. the frat boy opened the door and you knew that you were going to have a very bad time. you scanned the crowd, looking for your orange-haired friend as she was nowhere to be seen. you spotted similar faces, trying your best to avoid them.

people were confused when they saw you stepping inside the house. it was a very rare occurrence for you to be spotted in a function. “oh shit dude, that’s (y/n).” you heard whispers when you passed by. “fuck, where the hell are you becky?” you were still trying to call her to no avail. you did not care about the people staring at you, you really needed the keys. the music was loud, it smelled like weed, and everyone was just having the time of their lives. everyone except for you.

you were squinting your eyes, looking for your friend, until a certain mullet-boy pulled the back of your jacket. “familiar jacket you got there, what are you doing here pretty girl?” you were relieved to see one of your closest friends in this fiasco. “thank god you're here, i’m looking for becky!” you shouted. “why are you looking for her?” he furrowed his brows. “she has the dorm keys!” you replied. “everyone’s here and i can’t fucking go back!” you continued.

“just stay in my room, here are my keys!” he pulled out his carabiner full of keys. you shook your head. “your room smells like weed and piss and the last time i slept there were roaches.” you joked. “hey, i have the cleanest room in the boys dorm.” he defended himself. "can you please help me look for becky? please?" his grin turned menacing. "okay," dominik paused for a second. "if you enjoy your time here."

hence the cup in your hands, you were still looking for your best friend. dominik dragged you around, his hands intertwined with yours. everyone thought you were dating him, but it was totally a long-running joke between you, seth, becky, and him. "dom! you brought your girlfriend out of her shell?" you rolled your eyes when you saw the blond man. "shut up cody, i helped you pass your lit classes last month." you barked at him. "you're right, sorry. it's just weird seeing you here." he spoke louder. "i'm looking for becky, have you seen her?" cody shook his head. "i saw her when the party started, i think she's with either seth or kota!"

dominik patted your back, "poor you, it's okay we can find her." you were stressed out. you took a sip of the alcoholic drink in your cup, feeling the alcohol down your throat. "that's my girl!" dominik smiled, mimicking your actions. "fuck." you sighed. "yo, dom! come here!" one of his friends called him. "i'll help you find becky, stay right here." before you could say anything, he left you alone on the couch.

you felt someone sitting down next to you and you turned your attention to them. you made eye-contact with him, it was the frat leader, the final boss of every single fraternity of this town, jey uso. your heart skipped a beat. "and who are you?" his voice was loud and clear, despite the music blaring loudly. you furrowed your brows. of course he doesn't know me, you thought. you met him once during orientation, which was probably like 3 years ago. other than that, you didn't have any interactions with the leader.

"i'm (y/n)." you replied shortly, not paying attention to him. "shit, you're the one who helped seth with his thesis? the outcast damage ctrl girl?" you took offense in what he said, so you chose to ignore it. you were focusing on your phone, still trying your best to text the groupchat. "hey, you didn't hear what i said?" you looked up from your phone, facing jey again. "what?" you barked. he had this amused expression after he heard your tone. jey smirked as he knew that you weren't fawning over him.

everyone wanted him. everyone, but you.

to be honest, you couldn't really careless about the boys in your college. ever since you had a little crush on jey (which was a long time ago), you never took interest to any of them. if they approached you, you knew you could just say you were dating dominik. he was your wingman. "i said, who did you come here with?" jey repeated his question. "dominik." you were still focusing on your phone. "you're his girlfriend then?" you only nodded in response. "you know," jey paused for a second. "you can't really lie to me. your 'boyfriend' is literally flirting with rhea right now." you squinted your eyes, seeing dominik flirting with one of your friends. "shit." you muttered.

"i never see you in our parties, what brings you here, pretty girl?" it was clear that he was flirting with you. "i'm looking for becky." you admitted, hoping that he would have an idea about her whereabouts. "lynch? she's upstairs!" your eyes widened in surprise. "oh, thanks." you stood up from your seat, only to have him follow you. "i don't need you to help me, jey." you glared at him. "baby, this is a frat party. everyone's either drunk or horny, of course i'm gonna be a gentleman." he winked at you.

turns out, becky wasn't upstairs. you couldn't find her. you spotted your friends and asked if any of them had the dorm keys, but to your luck, becky had all of the keys, being the head-girl. "fucking hell." you muttered once again, still having jey following you. "you look like you need a drink." he passed you a red cup. you decided to let your guard down for a bit. might as well just get shit-faced while looking for becky, you thought. "don't try to get me drunk, uso." you glared at him once again. "i'm not! just offering you a drink." you took a shot of the alcoholic drink.

jey didn't know why he kept following you. earlier, he had girls swarming around him, wanting his attention–but as soon as he spotted you, all his attention diverted to you. he actually knew who you were. (y/n) (l/n), contradicting to all the assholes frat boys, he admired you. you were a year younger than him, but you were smarter than everyone in this frat house combined. “hi jey, you busy now?” one of the girls greeted him with a wink. “yeah, with (y/n) now.” he replied, nudging you. you side-eyed him, not knowing what to do.

“fuck was that?” “it’s tiring being most wanted.” jey replied with smirk. the people around you were unfamiliar, you saw a couple of your girls leaving with their boyfriends. you sighed as you took another sip of your drink. “you know what, i’m just gonna stay at the library.” jey immediately shook his head. “and do what? helping mr. heyman with his chores? fuck that, come on. have fun, it’s seth’s last party here.” he was right. seth was graduating soon and you didn’t even attend his parties till now. “i guess you’re right.” you replied, earning a grin from him.

the alcohol got a bit in your head. “i should stop drinking now.” jey noticed that your face was slightly red, he didn’t want you to go full drunk and have nowhere to stay, so he took your cup. “right, enough break time, you still wanna look for becky or do you want me to get dom?” you shook your head, feeling a bit fuzzy. “no, no! don’t get dom. he might take me to his weed-ridden room.” you pouted in annoyance. “please help me find becks.” jey couldn’t resist your stupid fucking pout. he helped you get off the chair, dragging you around–he felt bad now.

you were never one to go out a lot with your sorority girls, so pity flared inside him. you just wanted to go back. “yoooo, who are you with?” you turned your head around and spotted his twin. jimmy uso, college heartthrob that asked you for help in last year’s chemistry. “oh shit, (y/n)! you’re with my brother now?” jey shook his head. “nah man, trying to find becky or seth for her.” jimmy saw your tipsy state. “dawg, i hope you find them soon. last time i saw them was like 2 hours ago, you know how good they are in hiding.”

the situation became slightly overwhelming for you. you dropped jey’s hand. “jey, bro. it’s okay, enjoy the party. sorry i bothered you. i’ll just stay in the library till becky comes back, thanks for your help though.” there was a slight disappointment in his eyes. “it’s getting kinda crowded here too, you wanna bounce?” he stepped on his cigarette.

so there you were, in his car, driving up north to the nearest city beach to watch the sunrise. at first you declined, wanting to stay behind in the library as it was open 24/7. but it wasn’t safe. it was a public library and you were tipsy. you had no choice but to trust this frat boy who was bopping his head to mf doom. you were closing your eyes, your phone died, and you had no hopes in reaching becky. you just hoped that she was somewhere safe with her silly boyfriend.

“you alright there?” you opened your eyes. “yeah. shit, we’re here?” jey nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt. “come on, the sun is about to rise!” he smiled, opening the door for you. “god, calm down! i’m having a headache.” his hands intertwined with yours as he guided you to the beach. it was empty and you felt really comfortable. the warm breeze of the ocean tingled your skin, making you shiver a bit. “here, take my jacket.” you rolled your eyes and proceeded to chuckle. “that’s kinda cheesy, but i’ll take it. since it’s fucking freezing out here.”

the two of you sat in silence, the sounds waves filling up your eardrums. “you know, i like this beach.” he blurted out. “huh?” “i don't take people here. it's kinda like a secret spot when it gets overwhelming. i know i give off a fuckboy vibe or so, but i like being alone too. despite all the gossips about me, i’m just a law student trying to get my degree.” he chuckled, pouring his heart out. “and why are you telling me this?” you asked, feeling confused.

“don’t know, just feel like i needed to clear things up about myself.” you nodded at his statement. since you were already talking to him, you might as well spill your heart out. “i had a crush on you back in my first year. saw you during orientation and i thought ‘damn, that dude is hot’ but you were still dating… what was her name? felicia? yeah.” you admitted, feeling your cheeks heat up. you didn’t know if you were drunk or not but you just had to say it. “you’re lying.” jey stated. “am not! ask dominik, he knows all the tea.” you added.

“if we’re being honest with each other now,” jey played with the sand using his shoe. “i actually knew who you were. that talk at the party? that was all bullshit. i just wanted to talk to you, but you’re so untouchable.” jey confessed. he saw you as one of the girls he wouldn't mess around with. jey could get any girl he wanted, but you? with all of your achievements and this 'cold' persona? he didn't want to mess with you. the crush he had on you was pure and genuine.

you made eye-contact again with him, this time–he had a smile plastered on his face. “of course i knew who you were! damn, do you realize you have a lot of people looking up to you?” he questioned. “no, i do not.” “fuck, (y/n). all the boys want you.” the man sighed. “that doesn't matter to me.” the sun was rising up, causing the two of you to break eye-contact.

the scenery was breathtaking. jey uso was nervous, for the first time in his life. “gotta be honest, i had a crush on you too. i think it was your second year? but i thought you were dating dom so i backed off.” “no way, the dominik effect worked on some people.” you joked. the atmosphere became warmer as you felt him move closer to you. “i think my biggest regret was not talking to you in my remaining college years.” jey sighed, knowing that his time with you in the campus ground was limited.

“well, since we know each other now, how bout we start from the beginning? i’m (y/n), med student. a part of damage ctrl, i can probably do any assignments and can help you with all of your classes.” you offered him a hand. “and i’m jey uso, head-boy of the bloodline. i’m failing my classes and i recently developed a crush again on one of the sorority girls who can definitely kick my ass.” the two of you laughed at each other.

you continued talking to him about everything; life, academics, love, friendships, even your weird cousins. "it's getting so fucking cold, we should go back." jey suggested. "but becky..." you muttered. "you can stay in my room, i'll sneak you in from the window. the security won't check my floor. i can stay with jimmy." he sat up, brushing the sand from his pants. "actually, thinking about it. i wouldn't mind a jey uso right next to me in bed."

a/n: first time writing jey how are we feeling heart4reigns nation?? hope u enjoyed it as much as i did!! feedbacks/requests are highly appreciated!!

[theautisticcentre]

Jennifer is a wrestling fan because of them and I'm kissing her about it rn

@punkeropercyjackson (I know I'm the only one in our group that's a real wrestling fan but I know you love Jennifer and POC love so here. Oh also Sami and Kevin are Canadian, Becky's Irish, Drew's Scottish, and Asuka is Japanese 😃)

[the-wrestling-cave]

We are set, WrestleMania 40... or as I like to call it, the "Roman Reigns Retains Party!"

[ambreignsfan4life]

Happy Valentines Day 💝 💓 💖 💗

[dynamitekansai]

BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRESTLEMANIA 39

[laknxghts]

may be the most stacked wrestlemania card of all time

like i’m genuinely looking forward to every single match wtf