#Job hopping “not worth the 20% bump in pay”

[nando161mando]

Job hopping "not worth the 20% bump in pay"

[letterstoleia]

Important Lessons Learned from Gabby and Brian

As an author and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, I’ve learned a lot about the predictable patterns of unhealthy relationships. After years of personal experiences, research, and outreach, I’ve learned to recognize the tell-tale signs of abuse. I am not a licensed therapist, social worker, police officer, or minister. So please understand I shared my thoughts as 3 a.m. musings. When a few people asked me to make the post public, I agreed, reluctantly. I had no idea this message would resonate with so many people. I've worked back through the original post to explain a bit better how I'm feeling. I realize not everyone will agree with me, and I respect all opinions and views. All I ask is that we engage in respectful discourse on all sides. Thank you all.

In recent days, the tragic events involving Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie have given us a lot to learn. This case is still under investigation, and I can only make assumptions based on the textbook patterns of abuse I’ve witnessed too many times to count. I also recognize that multiple families are grieving, and I have tremendous empathy for everyone involved. However, many survivors will resonate with at least some of the following insights, and I’m hoping we can use this tragedy to shift the way we as a culture approach the complicated issue of domestic abuse.

Let’s examine 30 important lessons this couple teaches us:

1. Followers on social media saw a smiling, happy couple, full of love and wanderlust, setting out for a cross-country adventure while documenting all the joys of young life. In many cases, targets become very good at smiling through the pain.

2. When the public was shown body camera footage captured by Moab City Police officer Daniel Robbins, (who pulled Laundrie and Petito over after the 911 call on August 12), some viewers assumed Petito was suffering from mental illness and Laundrie, while nervous, was the steadier of the two.

3. Other viewers assumed both partners were equally at fault—the old “it takes two” myth that doesn’t really apply to most abusive situations.

4. Some people even assumed Petito was the abuser and Laundrie was the victim.

5. These three assumptions probably crossed everyone’s mind as a possibility (they did mine). Healthy minded people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, especially when someone is being accused of a negative act. Also, we can all understand that mental illness is a difficult situation and can tax even the kindest most gentle of souls (and the people who love them). Unfortunately, in many cases, this thought pattern leads us to assume the victim is mentally ill or that the victim is to blame for an altercation.

6. “Victim blaming” can happen even in the worst cases of abuse because we don’t see the longitudinal story unfolding. What we don’t see is that the target has managed to keep things together until she reached her threshold, at which time we may see her crying, yelling, or breaking down emotionally. By exhibiting those behaviors, many might assume the target is “crazy,” and it’s natural for us to feel as if the more stable person is more trustworthy.

7. If we listen carefully to Laundrie’s conversation with the officers, he even laughs and says, “She’s crazy.” (17.09) Then he dismisses it as a joke. Of course, he’s already put this claim in the officers’ minds (and by the nonchalant way he says it, many might assume it’s not the first time he’s said these words.)

8. So while viewers (and officers) start wondering if perhaps the target is “crazy,” the abuser plays the part of the poor, patient partner who has to deal with this irrational person. In the video, Laundrie mentions Petito’s anxiety and her OCD, painting her as an unstable partner. (Please note: I’m not at all justifying any physical violence against either party. No one should intentionally harm any other person. Period.)

9. A typical abuser would be skilled at convincing people that he’s innocent, while in fact he’s been acting very differently behind closed doors, pushing his target to this point intentionally and feeding on her emotional break. Many abusers LOVE to see evidence that they’ve hurt their target. They LOVE to see their target in pain. For this reason, “breaking” the target is usually the goal from the start. In cases of abuse, it may take an abuser hours, weeks, months, or even years to break the target, but he won’t stop until he gets that reaction, and then he’ll point the finger and say, “See? She’s crazy. I’m just trying to keep her calm.” And then he’ll do it again. And again. And again.

10. As a result, some people will buy into that false narrative. Even the target can be brainwashed to doubt her own truth. Which may be one reason we see Petito making many excuses for Laundrie’s behavior and taking the blame for everything.

11. In contrast, we see Laundrie blaming Petito, insisting he never hit her and saying he was just trying to keep her calm. He’s charming. He comes across as the loving and loyal partner. He’s joking around with the officers and even gives one a fist bump in the end. All the while, his fiancée is at risk of being charged with domestic assault and possibly spending the night in jail.

12. Later, we’ll hear the 911 recording that (it seems) the responding officers were not fully informed of at the time: “I’d like to report a domestic dispute.” The 49 second audio recording continues as the caller says, “The gentleman was slapping the girl.” When the dispatcher asks him to confirm that the man was slapping the girl, the caller responds, “Yes, and then we stopped, they ran up and down the sidewalk, he proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they drove off.”

13. But long before the 911 call was made public, many survivors could already see through the spin playing out on the video footage. They easily recognized the “red flags” because these cycles become the norm for victims of long-standing abuse. Many targets eventually become conditioned to believe everything the abuser does is her fault. Covering for the abuser, accepting all the blame, trying harder to make the abuser happy—this warped reality becomes the only truth a target knows.

14. Also, it seems clear that Petito doesn’t want her fiancé to be in any trouble. She’d rather pay the price and protect the man she loves. And because she probably believes he only acted this way because of her mood/behaviors/anxiety/OCD/job, she doesn’t want him to be blamed. This is also the norm in abusive relationships.

15. Many experienced and well-trained officers see right through this typical pattern. Others buy the cover-up story. And, sadly, because some officers are also abusers, some side with the abuser even when they know exactly what’s going on. Throughout the video, we get the sense that Officer Robbins senses there’s more to the story.

16. I credit the police in Petito’s situation, especially Officer Robbins. The four responding officers (two of whom were park rangers) remained calm, they separated the couple, they interviewed them individually, they split them up for the night, they consulted the domestic violence shelter … many would say they did everything right considering the information they had at the time.

17. I imagine the officers involved may be suffering from tremendous guilt and wondering if they could have prevented Petito’s death, but I want to give credit to the officers in this case. While it’s easy to look back and say maybe they should have handled things differently, knowing what we now know, I was impressed with how well they treated both Laundrie and Petito (and, sadly, I was thinking how rare it is to see that level of respect and professionalism in most cases of domestic violence, particularly in the South where I’ve been most involved with survivors’ stories.)

18. After Petito was reported missing, many people expressed shock in response to the Laundrie family’s refusal to cooperate early in the investigation. Petito reportedly lived with the Laundrie family for more than a year. Anyone can see that this family will do anything to protect their son, even at the cost of an innocent young woman who was a real part of their family and soon to be their daughter-in-law. While most of us can certainly understand parents wanting to protect their son, most would agree they crossed a moral line when his fiancée went missing.

19. But perhaps it goes deeper than that. Perhaps what we’re seeing is a system of enablers who not only allowed their son to abuse Petito (which may have been a factor in her reported anxiety) but also a system of gaslighters who may have always been shifting the truth to keep Petito confused and make her believe she was the problem.

20. It’s not a far stretch to assume Petito was caught in a system of abuse. And once a target is caught in that psychological web, it’s extremely difficult to see a way out. Reality becomes flipped.

21. It’s also worth noting that Petito and Laundrie had been involved in various levels of a relationship since their teens. This is also commonly observed in dysfunctional partnerships.

22. These immature relationships work beautifully when both partners grow together and mature emotionally. But when one wants to keep the other down, naïve, and under his control … and the other is growing, learning, and maturing … it doesn’t work.

23. We hear Petito tell the officer that Laundrie didn’t think she could succeed with her travel blog (3.25). It seems clear that he didn’t believe in her and that he was trying to make her doubt herself.

24. Throughout the conversation, he implies that he locked her out of the van because she wouldn’t calm down. But when we listen to the full video, it seems he was upset because they’d spent too much time at the coffee shop with her working on her website when he wanted to go hiking. This suggests that because she wasn’t in the van when he was ready to leave, he lost his temper.

25. In the moments that followed, the altercation became physical. Reportedly, Laundrie squeezed Petito’s face with his hand, cut her down verbally, and criticized her.

26. Some would argue that this escalating abuse typically persists until the target reacts emotionally and/or physically. If this case follows the norm, Laundrie may have been trying to break her spirit, intentionally.

27. Why? Again, if this case follows the typical situation, it would likely be because Petito’s focus wasn’t 100% on Laundrie. She had found this new job she enjoyed. She was succeeding at it, and it was allowing her to connect with other people. (Remember, she’d already left her job as a nutritionist to travel around the country with Laundrie.)

28. In a healthy relationship, the new job might be considered a positive opportunity for Petito. Especially considering Laundrie admits they have very little money (not even enough to afford a hotel room to prevent his fiancée from going to jail). But in an unhealthy relationship, the abuser wants the target all to himself. And when that doesn’t happen, he can become increasingly violent.

29. Petito now had this one little piece of her life that Laundrie couldn’t control, so if we’re looking at textbook patterns, perhaps her blog angered him. Perhaps he didn’t like all the attention she was getting on social media. Perhaps he punished her for it. And then a cycle developed. Even though she was doing nothing wrong by building a new career.

30. The next thing we know, we have a missing person, a recovered body, a young man on the run, and several families destroyed. Too much grief to measure. And the truth is, it will happen again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until we learn to recognize and respond to abusive situations in healthier ways.

The overall takeaway?

When we see someone at her emotional end during a domestic dispute, we shouldn’t assume she’s crazy. We shouldn’t buy into the false narrative given by the abuser. We shouldn’t believe the cover-up story by the target who has been conditioned to carry all the blame and shame. And we shouldn’t assume they’re going to be okay.

Instead, we should all learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. We should learn to recognize the warning signs of abuse. We should engage in respectful, fact-based conversations about trauma bonds, abusive cycles, and emotional intelligence. We should be familiar with terms like gaslighting, hovering, love bombing, enabling, triangulating, and projecting. We should stop blaming targets and help them reclaim their truth. And we should stop repeating the age-old myths that keep targets trapped in these dangerous and all-too-often deadly cycles.

Finally, while I’ve used the most common scenario of male-on-female violence in this article, we should recognize that abuse crosses all barriers and can impact anyone regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, nationality, religious affiliation, age, or socio-economic level. And we should stop assuming these situations will get better in time. Personally, I haven’t heard of one abusive relationship that became healthier. Not one. Not with therapy. Not with church. Not with prayer or forgiveness or complete surrender. When an abuser is determined to destroy his target, he will not stop until that target is erased from this world or stripped from her life. And in many cases, he’ll walk away without any consequences, often taking the target’s finances, home, vehicle, reputation, or even her children with him.

Please don’t let the next statistic be you or someone you love. For support, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline. From a safe phone, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.

[feistypaants-archived]

Between The Pipes [Chapter 20]

Rating: M Words: 2130 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: In which Kristoff shows his fondness for children and Anna wants him to Nut With Purpose.

I know I had said there would be smut.... but this chapter was long enough........ So i’m going to add a chapter of their date after this night and there u will have the smut. I also literally just finished this so i hope it’s fine I cba to read it LMFAO.

OKAY. BYE. 

Enjoy!

Kristoff couldn’t lie, the last month had probably been the best of his life. He had bounced back in the game and was playing better than he had in a long time, he had an excuse to do all sort of touristy and cheesy things that he had denied himself in the past, and he had Anna, warm and generous and enthusiastic, burrowing under his skin most nights a week, filling in all the cracks he hadn’t realized were there.

She congratulated and comforted in a similar fashion, her mouth hot on his skin as she brought him to climax. Though sometimes he celebrated or mourned by taking her as rough as she was okay with, his teeth nipping at her creamy throat before his tongue soothed the ache. There was a fire between them that burned brighter with each encounter, raging wildly through their veins with no intention of cooling down.

He knew, each time he left her apartment and felt the small ache of loss in his chest, that this was quickly becoming something more than he was ready for, but he couldn’t risk losing her. Not now. Not when she kissed him with such ease, not when she looked so cute as she struggled to wrap her arms around him in all of his gear, and definitely not when she could fuck him within an inch of his life and still leave him begging for more.

He never stopped flirting with her. He couldn’t. Winks and smirks and kisses below the ear with something filthy whispered as he pulled away had become his norm. He wanted her all the time… and he got her, whenever he wanted her. 

And Anna got him, whenever she wanted him.

This new easiness that came from near-constant release gave him a sort of laser focus he didn’t even know he was capable of. Sven teased him that that’s what happens when you have sex after four years worth of dry spells. A newfound ability to not be distracted by how badly you want to fuck.

Kristoff punched him in the arm, but didn’t really disagree.

Today was the children’s event, where local children’s teams of mites, squirts, and pee-wees came out to play with the team and get some invaluable experience learning from professionals. It was undoubtedly Kristoff’s favorite event. He absolutely adored hanging out with the kids, letting them shoot pucks on him, and playing alongside the mini-goalies who all looked up at him with admiration in their eyes.

He wasn’t lying, about wanting a big family. 

Everytime he looked at them, he felt his heart clenching.

The media team was filming the event for their website, and Anna was running around doing some quick interviews with some of the players before the kids arrived. 

“Babe,” Kristoff hollered, quickly getting her attention. “C’mere.”

Her face lit up and she bit at her lip - he’d never get tired of it - before she came over, camera in tow, and grinned up at him, “Yes, honey?”

Kristoff moved swiftly, scooping her up into his arms as she protested, giggles making her seem way less serious, before skating backwards on the ice, his lovely girlfriend gripping his jersey, and the man with the camera jogging out onto the ice after them. “Let’s do some … on-ice interviews, hm?”

And then he set her down to sit on top of his net, skating just out of her reach, knowing she wouldn’t dare jump down in those heels. 

“You’ll regret this, Bjorgman.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

After a few of the teammates humored them and interviewed with her sitting on the net - each and every one commenting on how nice it was that she was closer to their eye level now - Kristoff finally shooed them all away and kindly told the cameraman he didn’t need to film this next part, before wrapping his gloved hands around her back, pulling her closer to the edge of the net and pressing a firm kiss against her mouth. “I can not wait to take you home tonight and -“

Anna cut him off with a hand over his lips and laughed, a blush rising high on her cheeks. “I’m mic’d!” 

Then Kristoff heard the meek voice of the cameraman hollering across the ice. “Yeah, she’s definitely mic’d.”

And then he leaned closer to where the tiny microphone sat and said “and fuck your brains out” anyway, causing Anna to shove him away and apologize profusely to the man who had to listen. 

“You’re awful.”

“But truthful.”

“So sorry again, Ryder,” Anna called as she turned off the mic pack and waved to the boy whose cheeks were slightly flushed as he tried to focus on getting some b-roll for the video.

“Yeah,” Anna could hear the sarcasm dripping from Kristoff’s lips as he ducked down to bury his nose against her neck. “So, so sorry.”

Kristoff could hear her shortened breaths and feel her quickened pulse beneath his mouth before her hands pushed up against his shoulders. “We’re at work, Kris, you shouldn’t…” He sighed and pulled back, taking in her rosy cheeks and fond smile. “But… later…”

Yes, definitely later. It had been a few days, anyway. “My place? I’ll make you dinner.”

Anna ooohed as she lifted her hands up to touch his cheeks. “I haven’t been to your place…” and then she bit her lip and he felt his heart hammer against his ribcage. “But dinner? With no publicity? Sounds like a date.”

He hummed, bracing his hands on either side of her thighs. “Probably shouldn’t call it that.”

“Probably not…” She winked and ticked a finger under his chin. “Just fueling up for the … marathon.”

Kristoff couldn’t help the little snort that left his nose as she smiled wickedly. He moved quickly to scoop her up, one arm under her knees as he carried her back to the bench. “It’ll be a marathon, all right. 

Setting her down gently on the ice, Kristoff helped her hop up onto the platform of the floor outside the rink and felt the smile on his face widen as she pulled him forward by the collar and planted one more kiss against his cheek. 

“See you later,” she hummed before turning to head into the lobby, and Kristoff felt his knees weaken just a little beneath his weight.

—

-

—

The kids showed up a little early, so Anna spent some time learning all of their names and where they were from before they got to go out onto the ice. They ranged from six all the way to thirteen, and she could feel her uterus crying out as each of them shook her hand and bounced with excitement. 

Their coaches and parents took them to the locker room to get ready after the Ice Breakers had finished their meeting, and when they came back out, Anna couldn’t help but feel her eyes misting up at the sight of all these kids in full hockey gear. They were too cute. 

She leaned over to get closer to eye level, and held out two thumbs up. “Are you guys ready to meet the boys?” They all giggled at the idea of big professional hockey players being called boys, but all started clacking their sticks against the ground as substitution for applause. “Because I know they’re ready to meet you guys.”

Mattias and Sven came up from the ice, gave them all a pep talk, and had everyone organize themselves by position, preparing to partner them up as best as they could. There was almost a one-to-one ratio, but a few of the players would take on two kids at once. Anna gave them all a wave before she headed back out to the bench, sitting and waiting for her next job, watching as Ryder moved around the ice with ease before he settled down to get a good shot of all the tots coming down the runway and onto the ice.

Sven came out first, his voice lowered and booming, and announced them as if they were coming out for a game. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you’ve been waiting for…” The whole team started banging their sticks on the ice. “Your Miniiiii Iiiiiiice Breeeeakeeeers!!!!”

And they came running, all giggling and shaking their sticks in the air, a parade of excited children doing a lap around the ice as everyone applauded them. Then they lined up against the boards, and Sven skated down the line, telling them which player to go meet up with, grinning wickedly as he sent two towards Kristoff. 

Anna watched as one jumped up to hug him immediately, and she literally felt her stomach swoop in excitement. Oh Jesus she wished she could hear what he was saying as he swung the little girl around and smiled brightly up at her. Clearly there was a history there, and she could immediately see why Kristoff wanted so badly to be a father.

He was a natural at it.

He let her go with a smack of his glove over her mask, and got down on one knee to greet the much younger and clearly nervous boy who stood beside them. Kristoff’s smile was bright and inviting as he spoke softly and after a few minutes, he stuck out his mitt, cheering as the little boy gave him a fist bump. 

They skated around for a bit, shot some pucks on Kristoff, let Kristoff shoot some pucks on them, and overall were seeming to have a great time. 

Anna knew she should have been attempting to pay attention to other people as well, but she could not take her gaze away from Kristoff. And when he looked up and caught her staring, the soft smile that pulled at his cheeks stabbed her in the stomach.

There was no way in hell he’d ever be like that scumbag of a father he had.

Never.

Eventually they had some of the kids skate over to her, and Anna did little interviews with each of them, asking them if they were having fun, what their favorite part of the game was, and who their favorite player was. They were all clearly getting a kick out of the feeling of being interviewed like a professional, and Anna absolutely fed into it, talking to the camera like she did during games as she dismissed each kid.

Finally, god finally, Kristoff came up with his kids, bumping them with his hips and skates as they approached, making them giggles as they tripped and moved to right themselves.

“Well hello,” Anna grinned, working hard to tear her eyes away from Kristoff. “What are your names?”

The girl jumped up immediately, grabbing onto the boards and pushing her little purple mask up over her head. “I’m Lily, and that’s Connor!”

“Hi Lily, and hello, Connor.” Anna shook both of their hands and held up the microphone. “Would either of you like to do a little interview?”

Lily, with her lightly dyed pink hair bouncing on her shoulders, could not have said yes faster, making Anna laugh as she reached for her microphone.

“Connor? Would you?”

He shook his head no before ducking behind Kristoff’s legs, and Anna smiled softly. “Well that’s all right. Lily will do all the talking then, right?”

Kristoff leaned down to Connor and grinned. “It’s okay, buddy, I don’t really like interviews either. Anna usually does most of the talking.”

She snorted before leaning over to Lily, tucking her hair back behind her ear. “All right, Lily. When did you start playing hockey?”

Her smile was wide and she grabbed eagerly at the mic, pulling it close to her mouth. “Krissy came to a program I was in when I was like five and he volunteered with us and he taught us how to skate and then he started teaching us hockey things and I” deep breath, “thought it was really fun so I kept playing and he helped me a lot and now I got adopted and my mommy really loves that I have a passion so she let me keep playing and it’s” another deep breath, “been four years and I still really love it and I’m so happy to be playing and it’s all thanks to Krissy!”

“Ah, jeez, Lilypad,” he pushed against her face with his mitt, her giggles muffled by the sequipment. “Don’t embarrass me.”

“Oh, no, no,” Anna grinned, her eyes flicking up to meet Kristoff’s. “Please tell me more about Krissy.”

She watched with intrigue as his tongue ran against his bottom teeth under his lip, as if he was holding back from what he really wanted to say.

Yeah, she was going to wreck him later. She had no more doubts about that.

[numbfacemedia-blog]

Ghetto Correspondants (feat. Frankie Diamonds TV).aif transcript powered by Sonix—the best audio to text transcription service

Ghetto Correspondants (feat. Frankie Diamonds TV).aif was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the latest audio-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors. Sonix is the best way to convert your audio to text in 2019.

Yup.

You know, the vibes, hashtags and hot takes PI cars back in the building. Another week I'll bring you a whole fucking which a mental was good was going, nor was shaking on the line right now. Got my homie. Good, good content creator right here. This guy's got he's got all the hot takes. I want to.

I want. Welcome the homie Europe. You're awake. Also known as what is it, Frankie Diamond's TV.

Yeah, Frankie Diamond's TV. That's Frank G. Amongst my YouTube. Bet y'all. I'll say, what's up? I mean, nobody could really say was soft, but sounds like. You know, it's crazy. I'd just finished watching. I got the hookup, too. Really? Yeah. Well, let's jump right into the shits.

We should take our forty seven minutes. I can't get back from my last night.

You know what I've been noticing? Like you are wanted like cause I thought it was just me. But you're like one of the more critical commentators when it comes to black art. Well like you're very critical about it.

Yeah. Because I mean I support black businesses, but I think it's quality first. I mean, I'm not gonna. I'm all about entrepreneurship and black ownership, but we've got to have good quality, too. We can't just I'm not going to just support you because, you know, just because we the same skin color, we got to have equality. Got to be a point to write. Right.

I don't have Stockholm syndrome or whatever. But at the same time, because I got off Friday morning right now, still still good at a couple of checks and all that. You know, I'm a go to movies and check out guy.

I got to look up to what it was I selected.

It's you know, I just do us. Yeah. You know, they don't never put us out like the Avengers all over the place. So I was like, do I really want to pay twelve fifty to see. I got to look up to. And the first one was pretty shitty because I mean in 98 I was a kid, I thought it was good. But when you watch you watch is now 20 years later you might notice it's pretty spot. It's a shitty man.

It was so good comedy but it definitely was. It was it like up there? Hollywood like, come here.

The only thing about this one was the camera quality was better, right? Yeah. Masterpiece.

Got some money. I mean Romeo.

Yeah. Had a lot of cameos. Some of them was like real pointless. But I mean I checked it out. It's just I just was like, yo, I'm sorry, Percy. I just couldn't do it. No, no. Nobody is saying on the media's job. Will shoot. Right.

Magazines with their money put their money in the pockets of the people who created it. I haven't gone to see it because I don't.

I don't do movie theaters. Well, okay. I act like I'm a German phobe. And then ever since I saw the movie Outbreak, I've never wanted to go to a movie theater ever since. And so you'd be hard pressed to find me in a movie theater. Last movie, I think I went to see was the none this. Yeah, it is chick allowed to talk me into going to see this damn movie fucking waste of my time. Wow. Yeah. Much like a date, but masterpiece. When he was on a breakfast club speaking about this, he was saying how, you know, they do put black movies in select theaters, especially something of this magnitude. And then how?

The deal that they have is like you can stream it. So I think you can stream it on like you to ninety nine. Yeah. So as like it might be worth it to pay for me to pay that just to see it because I mean I do. Even if the movie is trash, I'll still put the money into the pockets of the black creators.

Well you put it like that because we all pay to see shitty white movies too. All right. You put it like that. But I mean, for me to go to a theater normally like about seeing The Avengers, like I'll be seeing some real blockbuster shit when I go to the movies.

I don't just go to see.

Or some shit is just to me is is meant to wait for TV. Netflix. One, two, three movies.

You just streaming online for free. Right. But a real. It was a real I mean it was it was I for what it was by me.

And I met Breakfast Club and it was really powerful. But to as. I thought he would do something more serious. I don't think he was requesting I got the hookup.

I don't know. As I was saying, he wanted that. I have no idea.

I mean, especially since the first see of reason. The first one was so dope, in my opinion, was because that was the boom of the cell phone era. So I get this. Cell phones weren't really out like that. Like that if you are a drug dealer. Right. You had to have some money to have a cell phone. And now that cell phones out like that is like I feel like they should have had another medium to work with. But, you know, they did what they did. I'm not. I'm not too critical on it myself.

I mean, I they did talk about gentrification, but I mean, he should have made some more serious.

But why hasn't a rapper with that kind of platform and profile and all of that make a movie about gentrification or talk about some real issues that's going on with black folks setting and just entertainment causes like a lot of us are obsessed, obsessed with escapism. Right now, we like to run away from our reality because it's so harsh. We want to deal with, you know, music and this and that and all this other.

Just why I'd be so hard on niggas like black celebrities like, yo, ya gotta get out of this escapism. The average kid can't be the next Jay-Z. Who doesn't? It's like Stephen a Smith. And I've always said he's a cone and all of this. But Stephen Smith made a cold about a month ago and it was really sad. You know, the average kid can be more like myself before he can be the next Jay-Z or the next Drake or the next Kobe Bryant. So, yeah, because not for nothing.

Kobe Bryant and Drake were more or less developed, I guess. Yes, they were kids like you will be. I'm sure his dad had him. Yeah, they would a ball as long as he could stand.

And oh, he played his dad play ball in the league. And then Kobe was when I was dad taught him first hand. He went to Italy. Right. He called basketball fucking prodigy. But I mean those are one in a million. Every kid on the court think they gonna be the next LeBron Kobe. But most likely they're not as he's being able to get back, stop training your kids just to be an entertainer.

Because I mean, even if you do get into the entertainment business, you can be in and out like you could be Trinidad James.

It don't last that long if everybody's so nice.

The shelf life for an artist or an actor is not like I mean, an actor can go a little longer than an actual music. Art is like a recording artist. You can get you can get about 10, 15 years time as an actor.

You can get about 20, 30.

I mean, look at look at the narrow and fucking Jack Nicholson and some of that, if you're right. Thank you for your resume. Niggas o niggas in the 80s. Right. It's crazy. But it's like I don't even see kids wanting to be doctors and lawyers and cops and shit no more. Everybody, you just want to be a rapper, a singer, a dancer, an actor, some kind of entertainment.

And I'm like, wow, because I'm flashing this day.

When I was a kid that we did a show and tell and all that niggas wanted to be regular, you know, careers. I'm like nobody said in the 90s when he was kid. I want to be a rapper.

Granted, there wasn't too there was like that one kid that always wanted to be a rabbit. It was always one or two.

Yeah. Yeah. Now you 30. Yeah.

Because the degree of difficulty is so low in hip hop right now. And I can't blame anybody for thinking make a rap because you turn on the radio or you go to the club after the shit is so trash and so watered down. That's why everybody thinks they can do it now. When I was growing up and I heard Nas and Biggie, I didn't think I could do that shit. They was doing this shit was impeccable.

Yeah, it was. It was a different time in and then the art was different now. You know, the art is just is instant. You know, like how everything else out here is instant. And the reason is like that is because what. How long does the album last these days? What was the last album that you played over?

I actually you know, to me, this first started a year. I thought 20, 19 was. Compared to last year, only albums are really fucked with this year for real. I like the babies album. Real bump in it. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I go online. Freddy gives a mad lib. I call that a masterpiece. I'm still playing that. That album is dope.

Jimmy. Jimmy. Jim Jones. SHAPIRO. I thought that fire.

I thought it was, too, but it didn't get as much replay, I guess, because replay value, I think really.

One week now. One week. Yeah. So what one would I.

So let's say let's judge these these albums we're talking about on replay value. So the replay value on what Freddie Gibbs and Mad lives that back then I could play that.

Oh yeah. That's just me personally. I just like the round. It's like production and I just I'm a fan of Freddie and. Now big trick. Put the album out last heard. That's pretty dope. I heard I couldn't get past the first nine tracks.

So how many tracks is on it?

It's like 18. And that's the one thing about you. I'm like, yo, put the replay value so low. Like Chris Brown put out an album two weeks ago. Got 30 tracks. I don't have tops at 30.

Sure. Don't say niggas a whole year to listen.

Exactly. You say you listen to this shit the whole day at work.

But you know, the baby album was just recently value on that because I've never listened to him. I heard him on a song on a radio. Yeah. What does that dad do? She'll get her that track. I was like, oh the nigga actually can read it if you like to me when I hear like a new artist today, I'm thinking all them niggas are like singing, rapping with the auto you like, and it's fucked up that I don't even give niggas the benefit of the doubt.

I'm the same way I did. I did a video on YouTube on a double excel freshman list and I should add on, maybe it was. How many of them was it like? Not. I might as shit shitted on six them and it was like, Oh, you got to check out Randy Rich. You got to check out Sierra Wag or you got to know. And I still haven't gotten around to it. But I mean, some people that try to tell you and sometimes you'll be surprised when these cats can read. Right. You know, I look at some of you know, when I look at that list, when it first came out, you had J.

Cole, Kindred, U.S. heavy hitters on that. I'm like, ls like Blue Face. Come on.

Oh, yeah. I know you think he gonna be around the way he's spending his money and the fact that he's with Birdman. I probably give him a year. Damn, he got two girlfriends. You know, so mean. Oh yeah. He definitely in need. Become another song that you can't that that lifestyle with two girls and that that the honesty is getting kind of old. So I mean I still kinda that she was all like after the first month that had no replay value.

Yeah. But do you go out to the clubs and shit like that. Nah man I'll just go to the clubs.

They still playing songs that songs that came out February March. So I'm still I still hear it every now and then.

But yeah I don't, I don't think I hate to be that negative and say so much so I gotta put this much time and that. But I don't think he's gonna be around 20 years from now.

Oh hell no. If you had to pick out of artists from this. The last 10 years. Who do you think should be around in 20 years?

Well, you make it as far as adding 10 onto what's going on right now or you talking 20, 30, something like 24.

Yeah. Add add 10 on to what's going on. Yeah. So right now.

See, the thing about that is I can say J. Cole, I can see Kendrick Agassi. But the way rap is, the older you get the day phase you out eventually.

I mean a over 35, 40 years old on the radio, unless it's like Z, obviously J got to you got the NSA in his back pocket and you think that's what's keeping him afloat?

Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Know you've got Rick Ross. Rick Ross. Probably the only thing I could think of a 40 that still gets play. You know, long a string.

We've got to give it up to Ross though. Even though my folks don't want to give him is his.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But he knows a lot and Jay niggas hear the niggas got hear four beats. Yeah. And his flow is impeccable man.

He's nice. He's nice. I don't like him as a character. This is I kid and I've never denied it. But he's Molly the only person I could think of over 40 that you hear on the radio. So to answer your question, I don't know honestly, because what I want him to get a release date.

Finally, he's even teasing his name, calling it OK.

Go on, push it back to August. But I don't know, Mac, as they date this business, it's not designed for you to be in. It's a 20 year strong and still be relevant usually to people that are relevant to people who are doing movies, television. They had to move on to another outlet of entertainment because in hip hop, when you get like, look at Mickey.

Mickey is almost 40. They they think they done what they watched their as well.

You know, what was Nick Faldo? And I sat back and I watched the whole situation between her and and how that Remi shit and then her album and the Cardi shit played out. First of all, Nicki did in. She didn't embrace none of the younger artists. You know, I'm saying like Dre. He was known for that. Like the young nigga coming up. Even if even if we were like not him niggas is wack. Drake made it it hot trigger.

Why did he would ride the wave? Right. Right. But me goes with the head. How to song it to somebody you know who did that? Like who? Yeah.

You know who was famous for that before? Drake. Daisy. Yup. Maybe he will go down south. Get on the south niggas BS and we blow the shit hard. Yeah but if Jay wasn't on it niggas wasn't fucking with it.

Jay if you pay attention to his career, he stood next to whoever was hot, right. It's all career rather was Biggie DMX.

He did join us, but he did the juvenile ha remakes. He did.

He went on tour with City as because Hos wasn't dead.

He didn't let his ego get the best of you know, he did those kind of album, you know. I mean, he always did that. I think that was Cameron's downfall. Cam does hands. Mosquito Cam wouldn't be number two to anybody like the Harlem nigga shit.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm kind of you know, it broke my heart when I see Dame Dash go out like that.

Oh, man. Yeah. The problem is because Dame wanted to be too real. Why? And there's nothing wrong with being real. But in this industry, you've got to understand. Yes, a lot of snakes around here. And if your ball would be bored with it, but that only you got to throw niggas under the bus, because what happens now is motherfuckers want to blackball you. The niggas with all the money and the power can somehow bury you even if you do money.

I think he felt confident to do that because he's already blackball you. All right. He's a Monique status. When you've already been black, you ain't got nothing else to lose. I was disappointed because it was really building up like a new foundation. He was really building up steam. He had his YouTube and all of that. And then all of a sudden you apologize. And I think it happened right after he did. The Rock Nation Barbecue.

Yeah, right. Yeah. You're known as cleaning Lady Gaga.

God. People got on me about that. I was like, yo, man. They've done a shit. But I read it when I did it.

And it was cool. It was beautiful. But at some point, when did he. We'll get together and put the money together and put an agenda, I say let's do some push the call.

You're breaking up. You got to sit still. Yeah. You good now? But you started breaking up, OK?

I was saying, like the Rock Nation shit. I'm like, at what point do everybody stay? Get together and put their money together? I say, yeah, let's do something for people and push this shit forward. Russell, take a photo watching, looking cute for the gram. I'm like, yo, that shit is old now. I mean, that's not black excellence.

That's just a bunch of niggas taking pictures and shit with bottles and minnows. And I mean, I was like, that's my issue.

That's totally my issue. The fact that all of these motherfuckers get together, it's like, what is the purpose of these brunches other days? Like you said, photo ops like it. I haven't heard like one deal that somebody was like, yeah, we was at the Rock Nation Brunch in Bam! This idea came up while I was at the Rock Nation Brunch and bumped into Solid Soul. He was like, Yo, let's make some happen. You never hear that.

No, no, you don't. And people don't hold it. We don't hold them accountable. So you can say anything because everybody is so caught up in the celebrity, in their escapism.

You're just like, oh, shit, did he took a picture with Jay. Right. Yeah. And Jim Jones and hard gave another speech. Yeah. I'm like, okay.

But like what point do we start? Like some of these cats are from the most poorest neighborhoods in cities across the U.S.. And I'm like they've all let these cities get took over with gentrification. And I'm like, that's why I fuck with new sneakers and if she was trying to fight it.

Marshawn Lynch, who used to play in the NFL, is out there in Oakland. Try to fight that shit buying property. I'm like, what did J do for Marcy Wooden puzzle do for Harlem?

And he could go on and on and I'm like, yo, yo, niggas aren't really doing nothing right but job, you know, y'all got benefit offered a third about selling all stories, but I'm not doing anything and putting that money back into that. So that's what my issue with most black celebrities really be. I love my black people, but I mean, I'm a color how I see it, as you should know.

And that was that was my issue with. What is it, the fucking little mermaid shit.

What's going on at the know end about it myself with my co-workers telling me they got the BlackBerry. I was going to play a Little Mermaid.

Yeah, one at Holly Bailey. Yes.

I'm always going to be the main character area. Yeah, I think she's gonna play Ariel.

I mean, you can hey, I could sit there and tell you we was the first people here on this earth and I could give a history lesson. I'm not gonna do all that. But I mean, shit. It is what it is. I mean, I was telling my people said, Yo, The Lion King.

Forget the fact that it's in Africa. Most of the people that played the voices on those characters are black people.

This is a cartoon format, so you can't really see it. So, I mean. What's the big deal about this black girl playing a fucking mermaid is a fiction movie.

Well, it I don't think I see my take on this because I was very critical about this. And even to this day, like me, my girlfriend was talking about the other night and I just get so heated by it because we have the quote unquote woke people who talk about like we don't want pandering from our politicians.

Right. We choose who we want to let pander us like this Black Mermaid is to me, if you asked me, I think is a form of pandering, because why else would black people lie? If the Little Mermaid wasn't black, I don't think as many black people will be excited about it to go out and see it. They know how to get us to spend our money.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Just like the Black Panther movie. That movie made all that money and writing it from it and making sure a million. Yeah, we think it's shit. Niggas was coming to the movie theaters and Dashiki. And Kim Jaffe Joe for outfits and all that Lincoln shit.

And that's not an argument like we let these companies pander to us much and we be like, oh yeah, nice. That is a victory. This is we. We finally get representation. I can see characters that look like a life some more.

It's a moral victory. It's like I told them about Obama. Rather as Black Panther. Laughter. It's like the Cleveland Browns, right? They've been sorry for like 40 years. If they make it to the playoffs, even if they lose about 20 points, it's a moral victory just because they finally got to that point. JOHNSON We may get not as kicked for so long. Black people, any little thing of progress is like a of it.

So, I mean, that's why I said this is like this is like basically a seat at the white man's table. You're not allowed to sit at the table. You can sit in the same room, but not at this table. We'll give you a steak, but you gotta eat. Just take off the floor. Did you and I was having this debate with people like do your not see the what's going on here? Like your claim me all so well, but I don't even see the bullshit and everybody. Oh, we fucked. We finally got a black mermaid. We ain't got shit.

And you know what's crazy about the whole world? Why? People know that we're more intelligent. We got more resources of information now, so. Right. They know the whole won't culture. That's why I don't even use the word word. I think that commercialized the whole state. Well, turn when Childish Gambino had that song last year with us on a rare Bone Jovi book. Stay well. Shit. Yeah. So it's like they know a lot of us are waking up in a morning. So why people are waking me up earlier. So now I just gotta step their game up and they're still able to confuse you, manipulate you and yada, yada, yada.

So I called it conscious. But I mean, you have to really think and a lot of most others don't want to say that is on the beach. Oh, how to say by somebody else. Exactly. You know, I don't have an opinion of their own. It's always going to be more seats.

You know, I was always going to be my father wasn't leaders that you hit it right on the head. And by the way, the world has to work, you know? Yeah. Because the problem is, if it takes too much effort to think, you know, family and we as bleep, we're already behind the eight ball. So we are here struggling every data to make ends meet. We are here, you know, trying to keep your kids out of the street like you got too much other shit going on to actually sit down and do some studying. So any little like you said, a little more victory is a win in our book, but I think is bullshit like bullshit.

And then I don't like how to look. I was someone you watched a shot on HBO on Showtime now really watch TV.

Okay, I'll be back. I don't blame you, but it's like I was telling my course.

Say, yo, Chicago has become the new city for like black exploitation. Like back in the day, all of the hood movies took place in New York. Right? Or you, L.A. like Compton. Watch Harlem, Queens, Brooklyn. It's like Chicago is now, you know, because all the homicides are murder. It's like the last five, six black movies I can remember watching took place in the south side of Chicago. They are just exploiting Chicago and all of the horror stories that people are really going through and making money off of it in these movies in my day, not put nothing back into the city or the neighborhood. It's like you got the Barbershop 3. That was about Chicago. Yeah, the shop which I watched. That's about Chicago. Another cat was all breakfast club. He's got a show about Chicago. You've got the beats on Netflix with Davis and Anthony Anderson.

Part of my dad is exploiting the city and talking about these issues and my body are doing for these people.

All right. I'll be thinking deeply because it's like all when there's money to be made. That's when they'll do it. If your city got bad enough, they'll start doing movies about it, too.

And your people are gonna get shit on my desk.

That's like exploitation of one on one to me. But that's what they're doing right now. They've been doing it for years. But Chicago's just happened to be that city right now that they don't write in.

And it's not going to and is not going to change, because I would think if you're doing that right, like you're gone and you're exploiting these cities, like remember how when they had the wire.

Yeah, Baltimore. And they were I used you live in Baltimore.

Yeah. But they were using people from the neighborhood to you know, there was sprinkle amended with the with the there the actors and that's how we should be black put money in the pockets of these people in cities like don't just come here, set up shop and then, you know, shoot, just shoot them. Bounce now and bounce. You leave everything dilapidated. You ain't even attempt to help one family.

No. That's what Spike Lee did with the shot reaction. Like he just came in and he shot the movie. He didn't do his real study on a coaches or a lot of people from Chicago was like, yo, let's not talk now, eat.

That's not how we eat out. You know, in a spike Lee's funny to me because I'm in a few years ago, he got so frustrated he couldn't win an Oscar. He was at the Academy Awards. Hey, it is a racist. Well, she you know, then take a one award this year.

I think it was that I met a guy and did what he had done, some weird suit to write some Willy Wonka shit.

I think it was hugging them like, thank you for finally accepted me.

I see this as once again, Megan, who has won a seat at the table. Yeah, they really do. I said this before, right? In this I said this years ago, this is in reference to beyond, say, because people put beyond say up on this pedestal, right. And the reason that her fans drive me crazy, right. Just just wait for her fans. Drive me crazy because they put her up there on his pedestal. Right. You can't say nothing bad beyond say never has a bad pitcher. She never has a bad day like. She's just perfect, right? Yeah. But when she doesn't get an award from these academies, it's like, oh, they don't respect greatness and they don't do this. It's like what does like if you got 10 million followers, I don't know how many followers she got. But let's just throw this out there. She got 10 million followers, right. That's 10 million people that are willing to do anything you say at any moment. Like he's my father. They dropped all kids to go pick up your fucking boobs.

But you kind of started that shit when he interrupted Taylor Swift. Exactly. I started to hold Beyonce.

They must have everything. And she's the best and all of that. But you'll be RC came to my city last year and did her and Jay-Z did the tour and I did it at the football stadium on a run.

You know, get a run, whatever the fuck it was called. And they don't you know, they let kids out a half a day. Early school girl got out like eleven o'clock. So they knew the traffic was gonna be that bad. Well I missed it. Yeah. For the army like Beyonce, they got the whole school shut down.

Right. But back to my point. Right. Why do you need an award to let him know your value? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, what do you go on social media? You see that more focused treat you and your husband like fucking royalty. Yeah. What the fuck do you need this award? Then they want that validation. They want the white man is validated all on it. I'm allowed in your club. That's what pisses me off about this wolk shit. We are so fucking hell bent on being woken in black excellence. Does black excellence that still the white man's approval and his like. And this is no disrespect to any white people because, you know, a lot of times on his podcast people think that be going on some light super pro black shit that I'd like hate white. It has nothing to do with that.

The the thing is that.

Our people don't need to be valid, like white people who look for black people validation power.

They know how to get our dollar here. They don't. They don't care. If you would nominate Brad Pitt at the BDC, you would. Yes. If I watch I don't watch the Grammys.

I stopped watching it years ago. I don't watch the Oscars. I don't watch none of these fucking shows. I didn't watch the beauty awards. I mean, I don't watch. I don't know that white validation or whatever long it should be. I don't need somebody to meet my people.

Who was the best hip hop artist to be? Had those panels as a bunch of old white guy.

I know. What? What? Well, yeah.

Well, my goal, my Apple music is going to tell you the heavy rotation in my shit, a bunch of old white guys are gonna tell you who is the best rapper you know about my man.

Don't let folks get mad and then let it all on and tweet. Slate, dig. How about we add to that point earlier we were saying about the Rock Nation Brunch. We have all these millionaires within our own fucking. Scuse me, I own ethnicity or whatever race, culture, whatever you want to call it, we have all these motherfuckers with this money. Why do they not take their money and pull it together and do something for our people? Like everybody praises Tyler Perry, right, for that for his ownership speech and. All right. And all that. I should put my focus be overlooking a lot of the snakes, should they? He do. Yeah, actually. All right. The simple fact that Hill Hill, you know, a lot of his movies have a stereotype of how they depict the black man.

Oh, yeah. That definitely for Colored Girls was a horror movie. I mean, I couldn't blame any woman if you watched that and she didn't want to date a black man again. They made us look like. Right. Monsters and shit. But, you know, I will get him somewhat of the best student.

That was a that was based off a book. So it wasn't like he wrote it.

But he still chose to put it out as a black.

And that's fine with me. I got no problem with that. But what I do have a problem with is balance. Yeah. If you won't make us look crazy. Lindsay Tanner was looking great to be good. Are some great men out here.

But like what you were saying about putting their money together and I was gonna do a video on this false black ownership levels to this shit. We got a lot of millionaires. We don't have a lot of billionaires. We only got five. One of them recently. I could've sworn Dr. Dre made a billion before James even maybe unplugged. When I did it, I was there.

He said that they preemptively jumped the gun with that speech or title because his they sold the stock, I think beats by Dre.

The company itself was worth over a billion dollars some Welker.

But so yeah, we got Jay now and we got Bob Johnson really got five billionaires. Oprah. Roger Smith. Yeah. Now. And Byron Allen, I believe is a billionaire. But we have levels to this ownership ship. We got a lot of millionaires. We don't have a lot of billionaires. I mean, when Puffy and Steph Curry and Em was talking about buying the Carolina Panthers. Right. Every sports team is worth over one hundred billion dollars. You couldn't buy that on your own. You'd have to get minority stock ownership and everybody had to pulling together. Right. But it's a lot of false right now. I love Ice Cube as my nigga, but they're putting him as the spokesperson at the big three.

He isn't he doesn't own the company.

He's a he's one of the best way owners. Yeah. He's the face that promotes it because he's a celebrity. But he doesn't own it completely.

He's like it's like him in two or three other dudes. Right. And I say, Magic owns the Dodgers. No, magic has 50 million or minority ownership. The game is worth 50 billion dollars. So you do the math. He owns it. He's a he's one of the many owners.

But the way they sold it to us is that, oh, magic on the Dodgers or on Jay Z on the net when he only owns 2 percent.

They've got a rule like J.C. rule in the NBA now where you can't own less than 2 percent.

Right. And also, we got a lot of minority owners. Oprah sold her network. A lot of niggas don't know that. She don't relish more. Yes.

He sold 70 percent of it to Discovery. Discovery brought this shit up.

Well, you know what that is, though, right? That's that big bag. Take little bank shit.

Yeah. Yeah. And I still call it the own network. So they write it well because writes it they change the name of it. They're gonna lose, they're gonna lose subscribers as a premium channel.

So they take they to deceive you like odes to Oprah's shit. Right. Or watch it. Yo Oprah. I've got nothing to do with that.

No. It was like I was this point in this. Years ago, two friends of mine, as you know, I used to live in Vermont and people in Vermont take their pride in their local brands in Green Mountain Coffee, which is a great coffee company. They make amazing coffee. You know, used to be a local brand, but is now owned by Coca-Cola. A lot of people were upset. I don't support it because Coke owns it and is, you know, corporate conglomerate bullshit.

You know, I'm saying all of that shit in what I said to somebody is big bank take low lobbying drink. In order for this company to survive, they're gonna have to sell or that company is going to go under because what's going to happen is the competition's going to force you up. It's like hustling. Nigga, if we got dope on the same block, right? I'm up the street. You down the street.

My traffic is a little more flowing because I got a better product. Oh, so what you do, you go on upping your product because you got more money, you upping your product.

You don't have to cut it as much because now you've got twice as much as I do and you're able to undercut me with the price. So what's going to happen? Nigga, you think they go. They were paying eight dollars up the street. They could pay six. What? Down the street. They only get. It's simple mathematics, but people get so caught up in this. Oh, it started small. We got to keep it small is like no body starts. A company with the hopes of there is just going to be us far for for.

I mean, look at look at Amazon to start edition in his garage. And they did Amazon Prime. Day to day life just like Amazon has taking over Wal-Mart. Like you're you wipe out everything and you're just gonna be online by it.

Yeah. So, yeah, it started out as a just awesome garage sale shit.

Niggas started selling books. Yeah. You're selling books. Textbooks. Yeah. Book. No. Isn't it. You could buy a thing from build those motherfucking socks.

Anything on that. Anything. Anything in there. Killing it. Did you see.

Since we're talking about this, why does sceptics in fake ownership. Did you see Dapper Dan on the Breakfast Club.

I heard most of it. I've seen a little bit of it. Yeah. Dapper Dan. I was glad I did that. It's all about to happen there.

So he basically was on there. And it was it was interesting, right? I'll tell you why. Because he started off by saying, you know, the reason that he's working with these companies is because he wants to get global and he knows that.

If he just makes it for Harlem, nigga is only gonna stay in Harlem. He can only go as far as those Harlem walls to let him.

So if you want to be in China, you gotta fuckin appeal to that, right?

You gotta have the the big the big corporation back into those stores now. What Charlemagne was asking him is, well, what can we do that with a Sean John or FUBU or any of these other black companies?

He was saying, what did he say? He said that we don't put that value in our own clothing. And basically, like, we will spend money on it, but it doesn't mean anything to us.

You know what it is? It's like, OK. I'm excited. I used to watch Rock, all that, you know, urban fashion. But you would think the most I pay for a charge on. I was like a hundred and twenty.

Back to you. Yeah. But you wouldn't pay. The average black person is not going to pay. Let's say. OK, a pair. Gucci flip flops is 250, right? Yeah. Would you pay to fifty nine? You probably wouldn't.

But you can make is that a pay 250 for those Gucci slice but wouldn't pay to 50 for let's say some Shaun John slash background. The Rockaway side is awesome. Any urban brand you could think of is just beach. We don't, we're programmed to think less of ourselves. So. Than that top dollar. Fendi.

Prada, Louis. We don't put any value. Did we were to spend that kind of money on a hood naked T-shirt? Right. I'm sick because this is one of us. But when it comes to that and you know, it's easy when you walk into those stores you could sell, you've got to know your financial status. A lot of black people don't. They think they middle class. But if you live in check that check. You're not middle class, man. You know, I mean, you know, on a map, you, you know, say you getting by, but you're not middle class. But you go into a Gucci store. It's clear. It's not designed for poor black folks. It's because, like, they don't play Gucci stores in the hood.

No, they put them in the suburbs on outlets or big malls. They don't put Louis in. They put that stuff far away from you as possible. They're letting you know this isn't to you. But we own it and eat it up and buy it anyway. And I'm like, why are you on niggas? I'm not paying to for those sandals. I'm sorry. Yeah, okay. I don't care how much money I got. I don't care what logo you got on this ship. I got it.

And I think just what it is, too, is more or less the the pill, too. Right. Because when you look at Sean, John, a lot of people if you notice now, at least I know with our generation like the that age bracket, a lot of us, we don't like the big logo. You don't like? We don't want. We don't. I'm not a billboard for you. Like, I would love the wisdom, Sean. John, if it didn't say fuck it. Didn't have a signature across the front of me.

You know, I'm saying get like a little logo or design.

You know, the saying less is more is very true. Like Nicki, you don't have to do all that shit like you don't get polo.

I got a little time. I was just about to say that thank goodness I got on a polo t shirt right now and a little horse is down at the bottom in the corner. That's all.

You know, the rest of the shirt is just itself. And you got that little logo.

That's all you need in. And we eat that shit up because. Yet we place. We we help increase that value.

Stop. Oh, no. Yes. Oh, you just think every day, even though you think this shit is better than you look. Like I say, you like Dapper Dan saying you don't put that much value into your own shit. I would never mean I'm not a bit into the European fashion shoot, but I know niggas who are they would not pay nearly as much. So is there any urban clothing I could think of? Like tr still got a cool, right?

I think so. Yeah. Not thinking. I think. Yeah. I think it. But I know he also got that hustle gang won.

Yeah. Yeah. But niggas would not pay more than 40 dollars for a hustle game shirt but they pay two hundred for a Fendi shirt. So I mean it's this is the way it is. There's been too much push for a hundred years of programming.

You can't embrace it. So.

Right. And because you they put it on a runway we see like some model in it. Yet I see. It's like good New York Fashion Week.

That's fucking trash man is what they do.

And they end up with the hottest celebrities in it.

That's I like you. I just didn't like how dapper Dan made it seem like we're only as good as this ratio or our square blocks. Like all of these companies have the potential to go far. It's like just like how you got Gucci to work with you because you said that they're paying homage. Nigga helped them fucking bring up another company. Tell them to fuckin underwrite one of these companies like help your people like buy your Napoli damn well for self right now.

Yeah. He's always been on for self because isn't his brand was Kate. It's always like a say back in the day was drug dealers and rappers. Right. Going to your store. Regular people are Harlem couldn't afford that shit. Yeah. Yeah. And so and now his resurgence and she's trying to go after the people that got money. This just goes back to what I put to the Gucci stores in the suburbs.

And they don't put that shit in the hood because they know people in the hood can't afford it. So dad trying to go for that. You know, that brand of people who got it to spend it.

So he's always been about that. He never gave up. You know, the better for us now. You know? Yeah. The money then. Yeah. But if you had the money, if you'd call him black dapper Dan and I have a best for blacks in a sec as he comes from poor black.

Yeah. It's awesome. Poverty.

The niggers. He told his story about how they used to fuck it and had to rob supermarkets for food.

The nigger said he went back to high school at twenty three.

I mean, it's just it's it's just the same man. When I see what we do to our own people was like, we're they. None of us give a shit, but we plain we give a shit. You don't think it's only Kevin is like, you know it, which is a good Segway into this whole ASAP rocky thing. Oh, God, it's only a it's because of the conversation that can be had, right? Yeah. Cause remember, I mean, two totally different cases. But Freddie Gibbs was locked up in Austria for day. I said I don't think it's a rape. It was there for that, right? Yeah. We talked about this like niggas dating because it was it like for one this does too. I have two takes on as well. Anytime there is a rape accusation.

Niggas won't touch it even if they know your character. Lightning. We could grow up, be buddies hand in hand if you or I get one of those charges is like shit.

I don't know. We got we did in fact like that happen for free. Right. This was amazing to me. Oh damn, you have one.

And I was like when I was young. That's why when I was watching that 6 post. Good. It's kind of hard for me to watch. Yeah. When I was younger, I was like 13. I got accused. Shit like that.

Wow. Yeah. Really? When you as a man. I was a boy. Yeah. People don't give you the benefit of the doubt when you are shit. Yeah, you're right.

Especially if light is like my fault. I grew up with you now. Not for nothing. Niggas already know their homeboys that it creeps. You know, I'm sayin like you noted, nigga, that if they said he'd make this nigga design, you might look at him sideways. Be like, nigga, I seen you at a few parties, nigga. Try and put your arm up this big box so you know. But when that happened to a friend of mine, I was like that. I don't even sound like him. Why would the fuck gone? And then, you know, come to find out the chick ly because she was fucking around her. Do she want to do to notice she was cheating and all that bullshit. Right. You ruin a nigga name over some bullshit. Same thing with Freddie Gibbs. Now I don't know Freddie give personally, but through his music and the way he carries himself. I never saw that being his character, you know, saying like this something like you've never seen him with chicks and videos where he's like 7 to chicken eyes and doing all his extra shit. Now if I see that, I'm sorry. I don't care what type of man you are. I'm going to second guess. If a woman says that you did something to her. If you had these these type of images. I'm just saying, like, I'm going to when I see me eat me, I'm looking out.

I get what you're saying. And I see it that way, too. But my take is we had the meat to our souls.

A lot of girls our age is one explosive. What's come up is one to come up in a check.

So, I mean, right now, you really know. I try not to think about it. When somebody gets into a situation like that on my. I don't notice a knock. That's what I'm saying.

That's the other side of it. So now was like lone rape accusations. You don't want to touch you like love you myself.

That's why I didn't talk about it. The only thing I said about a sap was that I remember when he was like, Yo, all lives matter.

Yeah, he was. Can't relate to Mike Brown. I can't relate to Eric Gardner. He gave he basically gave everybody who's asked cuz yell out. He in trouble. He down and out. If you want everybody's support. My mom and look look at you now. Like what guys.

Does he really want everybody's support or does he just want to come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Because we've never heard from him. Nobody had him on the phone like yo ease up on a phone, talk to the people you know if you want to fuck.

Yeah. Everyone's given him their support.

I know y'all tend to forget he didn't he wasn't really rocking with us like that. Basically it's like us other nigga Travis got. Yeah. He said on Breakfast Club he was like yeah. My brother wasn't pretty big too. All right.

The cops did what they had to do in a year from Texas. And he was getting up to do with me or some shit like that.

So some of these niggas basically get money and I forget where it come from because he gets so disconnected from black reality when you got money. First thing we do. We get money. We go to the suburbs and get around white people. Right.

And act different. Yeah, we get the fuck away from my own. And now a sad. Rocky is fill in that nigga. You still nigga.

Yeah, he got that. Even if you went to bands, you're still a nigga mob. That's what this is is the moment it was his.

See, the thing about his statements is he was wrong for that. I totally agree. Like that was fucked up. Like you should've just been like, look, man. No comment.

Or like, don't say nothing less is more like don't say nothing. Especially if you have something negative to say negative. Your mom always said being nice to say, don't say nothing at all. No. This nigga. He said that that was fucked up. Now I want to know what the hell is going on. Because if there's some, like, racist shit, like bring em out, why we you know, like as black people, we should not want to see a black man in jail. I don't give a fuck, which is why unless you did some heinous shit. Now, if you'd like out here killing babies and raping women like they could go to jail, fuck you. Okay, I'll do it like you while you always belong in jail. But. The says some some some off the wall shit. I need you, God. We won't hold you to that. No, we ego forget, but yeah. I don't want take some with him.

Threaten to leave. I'm just right. I'm not going out of my way like I'm not writing these paragraph captions on this.

I'm not doing all of that. Hey, you know, thing pieces out of me.

Yeah. I mean, God bless you. But I'm not. I'm not doing all that. I'm not. I'm not hanging up signs and I'm not getting tattooed and I'm not doing all that.

But because from from then that's crazy. Some might get a free ASAP tattoo, right?

Not now. I've seen niggas with Wi-Fi signals tattooed on a net. What? Yeah. Yeah. It's like using old niggas is getting like wildfire niggas you just bored by yo.

What do you want? Nigga, give me a likable nigga. I ran out of room to get I personally day man.

Men shouldn't get tattooed on a ledge. If you're gonna get tattoos on your legs, that means you've run out of room from the right stuff. Some niggas have ran out of room literally. So now they're getting started. Shit, I'm not your young niggas. Gotta relax.

It depends on the tat. Like. I'm all for the body are like I like turtles, but it depends. Like I'm gonna leave. Don't don't touch it face. Like that's just the dumbest thing.

Dad, what are you doing now? You know, I don't know how much kind of job security. You go ahead. I think he's really thinking about this. You know, the end. No, I'm not thinking about what they're going to do 20 years from now. Well, if they can be so nice them on to something, I don't plan on being here. It's going to cause riots.

Really, a lot of them aren't planning on it, which is really sad.

Oh, I forgot to Segway into this earlier. What do you think about that? Appreciate.

Oh, man, this ain't the first time that Jermaine Dupri says some off the wall shit in an interview in this fucking era. Like once again. Nigga, you shouldn't have said anything. And I think the problem is he said too much. He should've just said a lot of them sound alike, which I get. There are some women, you know, like the whole twerk generation shake. Yes. Which is fine. I'm all for women's empowerment. You can go catch me singing on it as shit, but do they all like you? I have no problem with it, but. JD put his foot in his mouth because he shouldn't Asian is that they all sound like strippers rapping because in now all of a sudden that sounds like an attack.

Yeah. It it sound like an attack on Okada. It sounds like an attack on. I guess he was trying to go and make the stallion, too.

Yeah. Yeah. All the girls that I've been I will say there was a Muslim and some people were like, well, Foxy and Little Kim was doing that.

So yeah, but they were like the only two. Trina came later. You had more diversity from the female rappers back then. You had Lauryn Hill, you had ease, you had Queen Latifah, M.C. Light. I think now is just all of them.

Now, you do have female rappers that don't do that strip club gimmick. Right. But thing is, if you're not talking that agenda, they're not going to play you. Right. We have heard of Rhapsody. Yeah. Yeah. She's dope. But she goes she looks like a dyke and she's not talking the talk shit. They don't play her. They don't write her.

Because you've got to go out of your way to listen to the other side. That is comfortable with yet or is upset. Now seeing that I'm like one Jermaine, like you're a part of the same business.

You know why these girls are doing all of this? Is that job. Don't push the girls who do the alternative. You just gotta push the Lauryn Hill types anymore. You only push to make Stallion City Girls Cardi B get up. And that's why all these girls, they want to get that bag. So they gonna do what it takes to because they know what it takes to get high because they're not gonna play.

Remy was supposed to be caught. Nikki's replace me. Yeah, but really didn't push their sex like they wanted. And Remy is a little rough around the edges. You know, jump in a little time. Scottie was the more sexy, safe, safe pick. Yeah. So Damon plays Cordy with Nemo and Nick even really got out. She did to sheet this shit and she illness initiated. Right. But they replaced, they slide, they played chess and they skipped over Remy and Sam Corey just called it that agenda that they wanted. So it's like to him to be in the industry, you know, you ain't done, bro. You know what any of these girls do on that.

You were part of the business and Jermaine Dupri is part of that. He's from that cloth of this circle of friends. Did you you said always, always never liked him.

I respect them. But Jermaine Dupri made all his money off the little kids you know about criss cross the bread.

He was with TLC that none of them made any money. That's why the brand works for Ricky Smiley now. Yeah, which is sad, really. I mean, if she's happy, does dope, but legit. Yeah. I feel like said she was the first female platinum audits. Right.

Like you should you should be a little more ahead. And see, that's the part to like. Do we want. Do we want female rappers to be like super lyrical or do we want them to have some sort of sex appeal to like because the sex appeal like that should look good. I'm sorry. I don't look good.

One of my favorite was Eve because I thought he was a mixture of both. She had syphilis. She wasn't as sexy as Cam or whoever, but she had a sex appeal. And she also like the kind of like the cute girl next door look she doesn't like. And then she also had good content and she could rap and she could hold it down with X and all of them niggas. The you could make songs, even though that made the first three albums was dope.

Okay. Nobody said like he was dope. Now I can say whatever by her now you know. But she was dope as a rapper. I like that. I mean, I mean but me like Nicki, I could never relate to Nicki Minaj. I thought her music was catered towards gay dudes and girls. You know, I'm just not going to run around in my car listening to you talk about sucking dick all day. But, you know, it depends. This is the diversity is all I want. I mean, everybody should have a choice, should be options as many rappers as we've got now. It should be way more options than it's ever been. But instead, everybody's doing the same thing.

They are in and I and I think, like you said, that whole agenda of my fucking.

We want. We want to strip club music. We want to talk music like that's cool. Like you said in the club, certain there are certain songs that need to be played in a club. Like if I go to a club and a plane, all fucking hard core liberal cool shit.

I would be like, not as safe as Spock. If you came in a club and I was playing gangster, fuck you, you tried to run.

And this is no disrespect to gangster, but every every group hip hop artist has their place. Yeah. And they'll do it right. We need to stop thinking. Just because just because I think you hot doesn't mean the rest of the world supposed to agree with me like nigga. I think before I listen to my fucking caches, not too many my folks know about caches that I'd be like, you're listening. Hi. I going around being like, yo yo. I'm listening to cash out niggas. What? Because that shit ain't for everybody.

And then when they start listening. So if you like what I've been listening to what they want. Exactly.

And it's a competition of who can be dope, eh? Once again, we. This is the whole fucking wide acceptance because now we're trying to chase this, quote unquote, invisible. Invisible trophy that they're, you know, waving in front kids at the end of the day. What did these women what did these female rappers going to get like was the ultimate goal other than they trying to secure a bag, make sure they got their family secure? All of that nigger. What are you out here reaching for? Cause there's no trophy at the end of the fucking row. Yeah. You see Redlands.

Yeah, exactly. It's no longevity because I'm like, you know, when you look at sexy girls now, I will say Nicki made herself empire and she's gonna be comfortable financially.

So life's right. Something happens. Lil Kim is doing reality shows. How little Kim? She fumbled bag.

You know, what's your favorite? Lil Kim in my home. You saw about this the other day. Niggas was a little Kim's like no, like favorite Lil Kim like version.

Which era niggas is tall. Oh, yeah. Kim like she was Jordans and shit like. What do you like. I like ninety nine to two thousand Lil Kim. Some other matrix. K I you know face the surgeons right now. I told my albums, I'm told them about face was.

Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was the second album. That was a face of the way she transformed herself. One second. Right. Right. I did not hardcore Lil Kim. Ninety six nine.

She was she was pretty. She was sitting on the album cover when she got an album cover man got niggas through a rough period in time.

My cousin stood at one point, you know, in his day. He's had a lover over like 20 years. I said, dead nigga, I will not take that, that I share price stuck to the wall.

You could take the thumbtacks I saw.

She is still like it just doesn't know on any day. That was my favorite version of Kim. Kim was Dukes. I don't know how she looked like fuck.

She's like an Asian lady. Like a fat Asian woman.

Sure. I want them bitches of Mob Wives New York to do surgeries, not about poll taxes.

So I don't know. She just she don't look. She looks like a clown. Right. So in and I don't know.

Like who? Who. Who's to blame for women in our culture? Our black women? Going overboard with the plastic surgery and surgery is shit.

Cosmetic surgery, yeah, because black women look at look at Phylicia Rashad.

Somebody is me along. Some of these girls like I was posting somehow listen. And I'll be posting cougars all the time on my Instagram. I'm like, yo, these girls did nothing. These women did nothing to their faces. Still beautiful.

So when I look at like Vivica Fox and my Vivica was like my crushes kid, she didn't need to do any of that shit. She did it. I made some things about it is something is telling them they need to because Hollywood puts so much pressure. That's what I'm saying to look a certain way. You've got to have your lips this size. You ask gotta be the size, your waist. And that's why I do it now. Why do girls do it? You know, I don't know. Girls in the hood getting fake ass injections.

What was she saying, Resa? It's the same thing. Like they're going for some sort of idea of what men want. And we as MIT black men like niggas, you know, I swear to God niggas would if I let me let me take my time with this. This is why you're flustered, right? So these women, when they were younger and they dated like niggas loved you for who you were. Niggas weren't like, yo, you know, I'm saying, you eat your ass ain't fat enough. You got niggas don't do this. This is other women that are critical to women to win. I was like, oh, I got to get the fat ass because this bitch over here. She pulled this nigga. But they don't realize all of these niggas that they trying to quote unquote, pull out niggas that are treating them like cards, like yo, bitch, you good for a couple of years and I'm gonna call you out. Yeah. I mean, did the young hot tinder Roni, they care more about what the women think than and then what we did. Exactly. And then they tell us we ain't shit right now. I loved you the way you were before this. And here you go. Fucking chopping, screwing your body. And now I got a fucking build a bitch.

Yeah. You got a leg up bitch. Right. It's like.

And then where we're shallow because we tell women, oh, that's too much in his life is my body. I should do what I want. Yo, I was thinking I was some. Oh jeez. Yesterday, right. My father got a cigar shop and like all. Oh, jeez, go through it. Yes, sir.

Yeah. And I was over there yesterday and the dew said some to me that was so fucking dope. And I hope this shit sits on a lot of young men's heads out there.

He said that God gave woman God gave this. God gave women. Here.

God gave women eyelashes, eyebrows as titties, body boom. If she isn't happy with what God gave her, why would she be happy with what you think you could give her? And that was the dope I should have. I sat there like that, this nigga really just said, and it just made so much more sense because if they're not happy with what they have. Nigga, what the fuck? I'm offering you definitely going here.

I wouldn't even deal with a girl. Listen to that chick. Is you never. She's never gonna be satisfied.

No, you won't be out here. Mad as hell wondering why? Why you can't keep a woman or what? You know, I'm saying it's like dating in that twilight zone.

That's why I like a little Caesar saying Lil Kim used to run around the house bugging out. Actually, niggas I know was too big on those.

Too big just while I lie, I just said fuck it and only if it is rolling in his grave.

Damn well shit. I mean we we touched on a few things we can see here. Go back and forth all day long cause nigga I'll be on your mom. Fucking ya g ly yo this nigga crazy you.

I said yeah. Follow me on. I said listen Frankie Diamond's TV saying so to you too. Frankie Dallas TV were were.

Give him this. What if you still on Twitter.

Now I'm on it, but I'm not on it. I mean about what at this point it's. I use it for information sources at this point. I just know. I don't know. Man dead on there so long. There's just nothing new to me. So I don't really suck with Twitter like that. Fair enough. Enough. It's kind of boring to me. Now is the same old shit, same all ignorant as niggers and random nudes and shit on a time line. Yes.

You know, Twitter is one of us. Yeah, exactly.

Is this a dark holes? A guilty pleasure. Whatever you want to call it. Well, thank you again, homie. You're away in the building. Yo, make sure y'all follow the homie.

He's got some great takes. Content is hilarious if you love the randomness that I'll be throwing out here. You definitely gonna love listening because he's way more critical on the black coat culture than I am. Y'all think that I'm talking about.

Yeah. Frankie Davis TV matters. Follow me, man. Appreciate you having me on. I've got to come back as a guest. Did any any time correspond in a song?

Hell, yeah. I'm I'm I'm I'm going to work on something to make this a thing because I'd reach out to a lot of people and we have such great conversation. But, you know, everybody's in different parts of the world and we've got technology that that shouldn't be an excuse that niggas can't fucking link up. So we gonna make some happen. I'm a reach out. Definitely. Stay in touch. It's always good to you guys out there. Thank you all for listening. Tune in in another episode. Hash tags in hot takes.

We'll be back next week. Peace.

I work.

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[laceandhockeyskates]

What the hell I’ve been up to?!

I don’t even know how to make an introduction for this hot mess but I guess we’ll go month to month more or less because let me tell you 2018.... really fucked me up. Both in good ways, but also in terrible ways? I don’t know... I feel like it’s all worked out in the end but damn was it a mess to get to this point. 

 January- lovely, lovely January. Aka the last time I’ve posted anything of real value on this blog. I had my first trip out of the country!! Other than that uneventful?! 

 February and March (since nothing happened)- I turned 25. I don’t remember anything besides grabbing lunch with my grandma for it... so clearly it was a huge deal. Besides that though.... nothing. 

 April.... this is when things got.... interesting- we found out in April that the retail company I worked for was going out of business. Which was absolutely terrifying. I had no idea what I was going to do, how long it was going to take to find a new job... I knew nothing. That very day that we were told I put in 25 job applications. Within a week I had 4 job interviews lined up for one day that I had off of work, and at the end of that day I had a new job. 

 May- and it gets worse. May 4th was my last day at the store before I started my new job on May 5th. It was somewhere that I had applied to several times and never got a call back from, and it was only a three minute drive from my house so I thought everything was going to work out. Right? Wrong. I HATED it. With every fiber of my being it was the worst. I sat in my car on my lunch breaks crying more often than I wasn’t. It was honestly awful, and some greater power that be must have recognized how miserable I was because I was only there for less than 2 weeks. I started on the 5th and I worked my last day there on the 17th. I was scheduled to have that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off already which I was thankful for and had all these plans. So since about November-December I had these back pains that started right between my shoulder blades and wrapped around my stomach every few weeks. At first I thought I had a strange strand of the flu, and then I thought I was just sleeping on my back wrong.... well neither was accurate. That Friday night I was sitting on the couch watching tv when the pain hit me again and at that point it was more of an annoyance thing because like seriously?? So I just did what I always did and took pain meds and prepared myself for a night of no sleep and taking a hot bath every two hours to pour steaming hot water over my back (aka the only thing that really helped), by Saturday I wasn’t any better and my dad offered to take me to the ER. I thought he was just tired of listening to me whine about the pain and not really worried but I did let him drive me to Walmart to get a heating pad and more pain killers. Which again... helped.... but only for so long. I actually got to sleep that night and woke up at 3 am in literally the worst pain of my entire life. I quickly got in the tub hoping that the hot water would work or the heating pad or really anything. By 5 am though I knew that something was terribly, terribly wrong and that’s when I asked my dad to take me to the ER. Which I don’t think he took me seriously until 7 when my mom woke up and I asked her to go. It took less than 5 minutes at the ER to be told I have pancreatitis and gallstones and I’m basically screwed. By the time I came back from chest x rays I was being admitted. And let me tell you... that shit sucked. My Er nurse asked me how I was feeling and I literally laughed and told her I was just happy that it wasn’t all in my head. Which she very much assured me that it wasn’t. And that I actually have a high pain tolerance considering anyone else would be screaming in pain, and that if I had waited another few days I’d be going in with a raptured gallbladder. That first day... sucked to put it kindly. Because I had a gallstone blocking my pancreas I wasn’t allowed food (I ended up going from 5 pm Saturday to 2 pm Monday without food) or water (4 am Sunday to 2 pm Monday). Do you know it’s like to go that long? I was the biggest asshole because all I truly wanted was applesauce and water. To top it off though they couldn’t figure out a pain med that actually worked for me. Morphine lasted about as long as it took to get to my toes (a few seconds at best) so I was miserably in pain the entire time. Monday wasn’t too bad. My mom came and visited me, and for the most part I was left alone with the occasional check in minus my surgery consult. Tuesday.... was a day. I’ve never had surgery before and to say I was anxious would be an understatement. I had been waking up around 5-6 am anyways and was just watching the news when I realized there were two people standing outside my door.... I had originally been told my surgery was the 3rd of the day and I wouldn’t be going until about 11 am which gave my parents enough time to get my brother off to school and to be back in time to see me off... that’s not what happened. They had bumped me up to #1. Which meant my labs hadn’t been put in as needed ASAP and had to be run again but as soon as that was done? I was being wheeled away. What I didn’t know was that my mom had a nightmare that I had been taken to surgery early and that I died on the table... so you can imagine her reaction when I texted them that I was actually going to surgery early... needless to say my dad sped all the way to the hospital. Actual surgery though? I don’t remember a ton. I remember going to the holding room and being introduced to a bunch of people that I knew for all of five seconds before going into the OR. I remember moving from my bed to the table and then being wrapped up in a bunch of warm blankets and given the mask. I wasn’t told to count down or anything but within seconds I was out. I remember vaguely waking up to be moved from the table to my bed and I THOUGHT I had only fallen back asleep for the ride to recovery... apparently it was a lot longer than that. I woke up once in recovery and could have sworn they cut me open side to side but nope. It was a successful surgery with only four tiny incisions that hurt like a goddamn bitch let me tell you and then I passed back out... when I finally woke back up again I was awake long enough I was allowed to go to my room where my parents were relieved to see me. I was up walking within an hour (I was told I wasn’t allowed food unless I moved around and got the gas out of myself and had bowl movements. They recommended walking. I wanted food.) and that day was spent between doing laps and sleeping. The next day? The day I was suppose to go home? My labs came back with a high white blood count... and I lost it. Despite my parents visiting me every day I was tired of feeling alone. Luckily though Thursday I was finally released.... in time for my baby brother to graduate high school. Which was a fun ceremony when you’re hopped up on pain meds. 

 June- was a hot mess of dealing with medical leave at the job I hated, but mostly? It was spent enjoying the summer. Once I was cleared for activity I was swimming nearly every day and soaking in the summer with my two baby cousins who turn 12 soon. Despite the physical pain I had to deal with and the stress of work I wouldn’t have traded that in for anything. It gave me so many fun memories to look back on and enjoy. 

 July- I was suppose to go back about the 8th but medical leave was... a mess. And tbh at that point it wasn’t worth the stress to keep that job when for the time being I was making enough by doing side jobs for my family to pay my bills. I did start applying for new jobs though while I spent more time enjoying my summer with my kiddos. By the 27th though I was starting my new job, which is where I’m currently at while I type this long ass post but we’ll get into that a little farther down. Two days later though as I was about to start my first full day at my new job I got the text message I never wanted to get. I had to call my cousin/best friend. Long story short her mother had passed away meaning that she had lost both of her parents in seven years. Something I can’t even imagine. But not only that but it meant that my grandma had also lost her sister and best friend, and my great grandmother had to do the one thing no parent should ever go through.  

August- was honestly a really intense blur. Between two weeks of dealing with the fall out of losing my aunt and starting my new job I didn’t have a life. In late July/early August though I knew something was up with my car but I honestly thought it was just a tie rod going bad... no. Apparently my entire undercarriage was more or less rusting out and I was screwed. I didn’t have any money saved up for a down payment, I had no idea if I could even afford a car payment yet (despite working a better paying job with more hours but I was use to basically barely making ends meet with maybe $20 left over). Luckily my parents who are the real mvps of my life stepped up and helped me figure everything out and I had a new car within a week of starting to search (she’s my baby girl. I’m obsessed. She’s literally everything I wanted minus the fact that she’s white and my previous car was white and I wanted to avoid that: but besides that... I’m happy with her and she’s worth the pretty penny I pay every month). 

 September- was a goddamn mess work wise. It’s all I did. Work. 

 October- I took my first major road trip on my own (driving 2 and a half hours by myself on the interstate. It was a big deal.) and saw FOB in concert which was... life changing. I completely recommend seeing them if you ever have a chance (also machine gun kelly was there and despite the fact that I don’t care for rap.... he was pretty good.). Other than that though October was more work craziness. 

And now for November, and if you guessed work was insane... you’d be right. When I was hired in July it was all “oh it’ll only be busy until like October” and now my boss is like “maybe by March we can get our sanity back for two months?” Which don’t get me wrong I’m grateful. I’m making a $1 more an hour, actually working full time, and I don’t hate a majority of my coworkers (there’s still a handful though that if I had a shopping cart at work I’d run of their bare toes but that’s more because they make my life unnecessarily stressful) but I’m actually happy???? Like as stressed out as I am basically 24/7 I’m doing alright. I have a majority of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped which like?? And idk... I’m just.... I’m in a good place. And I won’t lie I still check myself once and awhile going “okay something is bound to go wrong.” But also maybe all the good is outweighing all the bad that I had to deal with. Anyways so that’s the life update. If you actually read that... bless your soul. Message me. We’re now best friends. And hopefully in the coming weeks I figure out what the hell im doing with this blog.

December update I wanna die lol! We had two people quit in three weeks leaving us with four people to cover 24 hours 7 days a week....it’s a great time. 

[totallyrhettro]

Adrift, chapter 9 (final)

Word Count: 2289 Rating: This chapter: PG; Overall story rating: Explicit Warnings: Kissing Summary: After almost drowning in the Cape Fear River as a young man, Rhett can’t seem to get over his fear of swimming. Link is a swim instructor who offers to help. Notes: AU. Rhett and Link have never met and are in their late 20s. Based on the events described in GMCL 24, but Rhett was there alone.

Chapter 1 Previous Chapter

“Are you doing okay?” Link asked, taking Rhett’s hand in his own. The taller man felt dorky in his board shorts, stripe tee and a orange life jacket. Still he felt a great deal better having it on, considering what he was planning to do.

It had been several years since the two of them had met, since Rhett had first seen Link teaching swimming classes at the gym. It seemed like ages ago. It seemed like yesterday. Rhett had managed so much in the past years, with Link by his side. He gave him the courage to face his fears and the strength to overcome them. Even better than helping Rhett with his nightmares, which he hadn’t had for months, Link lightened up his life, filling every day with sunshine, every night with passion. In so many ways Rhett’s life had been made better by having Link be part of it. For that he was eternally grateful.

“I’m fine,” he assured his boyfriend, squeezing his hand. “It's not my first dive. Just show me to the boat.” Boat didn’t quite do it justice. Turning a corner on the maze of docks, Link led Rhett to one of the many boats tied up at the marina. At twenty-five feet, it was a fairly impressive craft with neat letters painted on the back forming the words: ‘Sail On’. Rhett always appreciated the Lionel Richie reference.

It had a pilothouse, so the pilot could be high and dry, and there was a full galley below deck. It was a bit short for Rhett, but he was used to it and besides he planned on sitting a lot. Hopping onto the edge of the boat, Link climbed aboard before holding out his hand to help his boyfriend. At first Rhett wanted to ignore the offered hand and use his long legs to get onto the boat with ease, but the smile on Link’s face was too much to brush off. He took the hand, trying not to blush, and let his boyfriend pull him onto the boat.

“Permission to come aboard, captain?” he joked.

“Permission granted, sir,” Link said with an exaggerated salute, and a cheerful grin. “Welcome aboard.” Pulling Rhett closer he stood on his tiptoes to give him a quick peck. “Did you ever think, before we met, you’d ever be able to step onto a boat floating on the ocean?”

“Definitely not.” He didn’t quite have his sea legs yet and he walked over to sit on the bench situated at the stern. “I’ve been doing a lot of things I never imagined, lately.” Link sat beside him and put his arm around his waist to pull him closer.

They sat there for sometime, not saying anything, just thinking about the past years, ago the past evening. How to brave great watery depths wasn’t the only thing Link had been teaching him. Holding Rhett close he placed a sweet kiss on the man’s lips, relishing in his taste, his smell. Rhett kissed him back with just as much vigor, just as much love, and for a time they both forgot why they had boarded their ship in the first place. Eventually Link broke away, with some effort, and got to his feet. It was time to go.

“Shall we then?” As he walked about the boat, untying the vessel from the dock, Rhett watched him very closely. The ocean breeze was blowing through his dark hair, the warm sun revealing the brown that normally looked black in dimmer lights. The muscles of his arms flexed as he worked on the thick ropes tying the boat to shore and he chewed his lip in concentration as his lover checked on numerous instruments.

As they set out on the open ocean, Link moved with untold grace and certainty; this was a man who had been boating for a long time, who knew his ship inside and out. This was a man who tamed the sea and didn't let the water tame him.

They cruised for a while, shooting the breeze. Rhett managed to stumble his way to Link’s side, sitting in the pilot seat while they talked. It wasn't so bad, being around so much water, as long as his love was in easy grabbing distance. Link did his best to keep their course smooth and it wasn't long before they reached their destination.

A hide-away beach, probably privately owned by someone neither of them knew, was a secret spot was far out of view of the public. Link slowed the boat to a stop before turning to Rhett.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” Rhett wondered. It was a lovely spot, very isolated and serine. Link gave a noncommittal head tilt.

“Partially. Come on; let’s go for a swim.” It hadn’t been the first time Rhett had braved the waters of the great deep ocean, but he still could not help but feel a twinge of nervousness every time he found himself poised to venture in once again. As he opened the seat in the back of the boat, that doubled as storage, and began looking for their snorkels and flippers, he happened to glance over at Link taking off his shorts. Like Rhett, he had worn his speedos on under his other clothes and now he was bending over to reveal them. Bending over and pointing his perfectly round butt right towards Rhett.

“You’re doing that on purpose,” Rhett accused with a chuckle. Link didn’t answer but wiggled his adorable behind as he squirmed out of his shorts. Rhett shook his head as he removed his own non-swimming attire. “You’re going to pay for that.”

“I can’t wait,” Link giggled, slipping on his flippers. Grabbing up one of the sets of snorkeling goggles, he leaned backwards over the boat and flopped into the crystal clear waters with a lovely splash. Rhett wasn’t in a hurry to follow but he knew he would. He would follow that man anywhere.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were swimming effortlessly through the shallows. Since his first venture into the salty depths, Rhett had shown himself to be a very strong swimmer. Working out at the gym once a week helped quite a bit. Link had taken him places he never thought possible, places that made overcoming his fears worth it. Today they were in a simple cove, not a lot of coral or fish. These were Rhett’s favorites, actually. Little to hurt himself on, not far from surface to sandy floor, and a clear view as far as his eyes could see. Perfect.

He treasured moments like this. During these past few years he and Link had become very successful in their respective fields of engineering. More than making them enough money to purchase a sea-faring vessel, it kept them rather busy. Vacations were rare these days. These times when they were able to get away, be with just each other and no one else, these were the more precious. Not long ago Rhett had moved into Link’s place. They told each other it was for convenience, but they both knew it was more. Rhett wanted to spend every waking moment, every moment he wasn’t awake as well, with the man he loved.

Rhett took off his snorkel mask, floating on his back. He thought about their busy lives, as he had many times before. He had gotten everything he wanted, everything he thought he wanted, and more. He had a good job, a nice house, and a wonderful boyfriend. Yet he missed the days when he was living paycheck to paycheck because he had his music. He had time for his music. He missed playing the guitar. If only there was a way to be a musician instead of an engineer. What would his life be like then?

“Getting tired?” Link’s voice drifted through the air like a gentle breeze as he slowly floated by. He bumped his hand against Rhett’s and the taller man turned to smile at his love.

“Just thinking.” Looking back up at the sky, he look Link’s hand in his own. “Wondering what my life would be like if I went off and became a musician.”

“You are a musician. I’ve heard you play.”

“You know what I mean. Like, for a living. Instead of an engineer.”

“Would you be happier?” A fair question. One Rhett wasn’t sure he knew how to answer. He squeezed Link’s hand.

“I am happy,” he promised. “Did I sound like I wasn’t happy?” For a moment they were quiet, just floating there, holding hands like otters, watching the gentle clouds drift by, listening to the water slosh around them and the occasional seagull flying above.

“I wanted to make films,” Link confessed after the longest time. “I came to California to write comedy films, but it’s a tough industry. I had to fall back on my engineering major. It worked out okay, but I always regret not trying harder.”

“It’s not too late. You can still be a film writer.”

“And you can still be a musician,” Link countered. “Anyone can these days. There’s this online thing called YouTube...”

~

The two men swam for a bit longer before heading back to the boat. Rhett was the first one aboard, pulling himself up easily. He quickly turned to help Link up, but he was pushing himself backwards.

“I’m just gonna take one last dive,” he said, pulling his snorkeling mask back on. “Be right back.” With a wink he ducked down under the waves and disappeared. Rhett gave a very understanding smile, chuckling under a sigh as he took off his flippers. He knew Link would be along in his own time. Meanwhile he changed back into his dry clothes.

When Link returned he burst from the waters, grasping onto the side of the boat and splashing water all about. He tossed his goggles onto the deck and wiped the wet hair from his face

“You're like Poseidon,” Rhett noted once he got over his surprise. Link laughed as he pulled himself up.

“Look who's talking. Put a trident in your hand and you’d be a spitting image of the god of the ocean.” Sitting on the gunwale of the ship, he placed a small orange box on the seat next to him.

“What’s that?” Rhett didn’t wait for an answer before picking it up and turning it over. It said ‘ultrabox’ on the side, but little else. It looked almost brand new. “Did you find this down there?”

“I did.” Link looked rather suave but at the same time there was a hint of something else in his eyes. Rhett had seen it so rarely in his lover’s eyes he almost didn’t recognize it. After a moment he was sure; Link was nervous. “Why don’t you open it?” Cocking an eyebrow Rhett shrugged and looked to see how the strange box opened. He didn’t notice, as he found the latch, that Link had moved from his spot on the ledge. As he flipped open the lid, revealing a smaller box inside, he didn’t see how Link had bent down on one knee and was now kneeling before him.

“What’s this?” he asked, curious and confused. “What-?” Looking up he saw Link, his eyes far too blue to be real, his smile far too beautiful for anything less than an angel. “Link?” Rhett voice barely made it out to ask. “...Link?”

“Open it,” Link whispered, hopeful and scared. As Rhett’s eyes turned down to the second box, black and velvet, Link bit his lip. Time was slowing down to a near standstill and he could barely breathe. Rhett was holding his breath too as he picked up the black box. His fingers felt so weak as they lifted the lid revealing the band inside.

“Link.” A simple band, titanium inlaid with one large strip of Hawaiian Koa wood and a smaller one of pure turquoise. “It’s beautiful.” More than it’s gorgeous colors, and the thought that had gone into picking it out, what it symbolized was beautiful. “You found this?” He was highly doubtful.

“I did… It was right where I left it.” Taking Rhett’s shaking hand in his own Link took a deep breath. “Rhett… You’ve set my entire life on it’s head, from the day I saved your life to the day I saw you in that gym. You changed my life for the better- you make me better, every day, every moment. I don’t deserve you, but still here I am. Asking...” Tears formed in Rhett’s eyes and he could barely blink them away.

“You saved my life, Link,” he choked, remembering. “I don’t want to spend it with anyone else.”

“Does that mean you’ll-?”

“Yes!” Rhett shouted, nearly dropping the ring as he rushed to hug Link. “I’ll marry you.” Tears fell from both of their eyes now, the sweetest tears of joy. After a minute of hugging and crying and sputtering happy nonsense, Rhett pulled away. “What am I going to tell my parents?”

“I already told them.”

“You what?” Link rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“They sort of found out by accident,” Link explained. “Last time I went back home with you. You’re brother caught me rummaging through your stuff, looking for a class ring.” He gestured to the ring still in Rhett’s hand. “I wanted to make sure I got the right size.” Flustered, Rhett slipped the ring onto his finger, staring at it like he still couldn’t believe his life.

“It’s perfect.” He kissed Link’s cheek. “Just like you. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Rhett,” Link replied, kissing back. “Always and forever.”

The End

More Fics

[askfrankpritchard]

Happy Late New Years

She sat in her cockpit waiting for the person on the other end of the infolink to pick up. It rings four times before it stops. “Hey Malik! Ready to get the show on the road?” “I'll be down there in five David, see you then.” The infolink clicked off and Malik adjusted into her seat as she readied the VTOL for flight. She quickly glanced at three small photos on her control board. The first was a young woman in her 20’s with a blond bob and a warm smile. Malik smiled back as she remembered her days with Evelyn Carmichael. The next one beside it was a picture of a well groomed Adam Jensen about to go make a speech. He tried his best not to fumble while speaking. The last one was a blurry photo of Frank that she managed to sneak while Adam distracted him. They were so close to a perfect photo. “We’re coming for ya lazy boy,” she booped it and adjusted her headset. She landed her VTOL and opened the side door so David could climb in. He hopped on with two Vintage Champagnes under his arm wrapped in a light cloth. “I brought some spirits for when the occasion arises,” David paused to sneeze, ”I hope they're to your tastes.” “Gesundheit and you better not drink those in the VTOL, you know how I like to keep it clean.” Malik warned him. “So where is this place he’s staying in? All you’ve told me is that it's abandoned and rundown.” David inquired. “It's an old decrepit school that was torn down not too long ago. And from the looks of it the roof will cave in. I'll have to land nearby…” Malik lands in some nearby open space right next to the rotting building. She walks around until she finds tons of wires  and the soft glow of light coming from what was supposedly the band room. She walks in to see Pritchard snoozing on his old leather couch in need of a shave and a week's worth of sleep just by looking at the bags under his eyes. Malik creeps up and gently shoves him just enough to make him freak out and sit up spastically. “Malik, what the hell are you doing here? How did you even find me?” “With magic Frank, now hurry up and get up! Let's get you out of this dump, it's New Year!” “I wasn't planning on going anywhere today if you hadn't noticed,” Malik offers her hands to help Frank stand up as he popped his back and accepted the gesture. “And that's why we’re here, now come on!” She started to drag him away and he stumbled a few times trying to get his shoes adjusted. “Wait, we’re? Who else?” Malik gave no answer and just dragged him on. On their way out, Frank swatted at the light panel to turn off everything and lock the door. “Don't you think the lasers are a bit too much?” Malik questioned glancing back briefly at the mentioned lasers then at the scruffy man. “Well that depends, would you like it if a bunch of looters with shotguns waltzed in and demanded everything you own? I think not. Where are you taking me Malik?” He asked quite rudely. “You always ask so many questions Mr. Paranoid, but to answer your question, I'm taking you to my VTOL.” “Oh how specific.” Emphasizing on the last word. “Just shut up and trust me.” Malik hadn't meant it to sound mean, but he can be a bit stubborn sometimes. “Your chariot awaits,” joked Faridah as she gestured toward her VTOL. The side door of the B-EE slid opened to reveal a dashing CEO crossing his legs and waving at Frank. “Happy New Years, son!” David cheerfully said as he patted the cushioned seat beside him. “Well doesn't this feel familiar. Coming out of a dingy hell hole to be seated next to a CEO who's crazy enough to offer me a job.” He ducked inside and plopped down wincing a bit from the lack of cushion. Cheap seats. “What do you want me to do today?” Frank said in an almost practiced tone. “I'm hurt Frank, but that's not why I'm here.” “Oh goodie, so what was the reason?” “To get you out of that dump and celebrate New Year's with us!” He handed Frank a wine glass he had hidden then reached under the seat for the Champagne de Prestige and right as he was about to open it Malik came on the coms. “You better not be opening that sticky liquor inside of a moving  aircraft and especially not inside of my VTOL.” She signed off with an angry click, but not before another announcement, “ETA is five minutes. I'm sure you can wait that long.” “Well you heard her Frank. We’re just going to have to wait to celebrate.” David huffed as he put the bottle back. The VTOL landed on a helipad with a bump. The heavy doors sliding open as a gust freezing wind came gliding by. “Let's hurry inside. An old man like me shouldn't be out in the cold like this.” David chuckled. Frank hugged his jacket closer scrunching up as he followed David to a door that led inside to an apartment complex. Malik followed just behind as they descended two flights of stairs arriving at a dark wood door. David mumbled under his breath while typing in the code, “Oh,...4...5..1.” Beep beep beep. He pushed the door open and guided his guests inside. “Welcome Frank to your new home! Sally, play some music for us.” An A.I. voice came on softly, “Certainly.” A calm and slow jazz played quietly as David pulled out the twin vintage wines and scrounged around for glasses. “My /what/?” Frank stood there dumbfounded as David handed a glass to him and Malik. “A real place to live in, son.” He struggled to open the bottle. “Because,” Malik butted in, “ living in an old torn apart school with the roof nearly falling on your head is not good for our favourite handsome hacker.” She changed her tone at the end as if speaking to a cute baby. Malik quickly pinched his cheek and Frank just as quickly moved his head away. Trouble is brewing as David is still trying to open the bottle. “Frank, don't play this game with me. Just let me pinch your cheek!” Moving even quicker than before, she managed to graze him as he took a few steps back. “Malik please, you should know that's never going to w-” There was a loud pop and a shout of approval that came from David. “I got the slick thing to open! Now we can toast.” He poured each of them a fizzling glass as they clanked together. “To the New Years!” “To- how am I going to pay rent?” The question Frank meant to ask earlier but got distracted by Malik. “The first three months have been cleared for you, so you either have to find better freelance jobs or you could work for TF-29 that is deployed here in Detroit.” David suggested as he handed Frank some official looking papers. “These should help with nailing you that job.” Frank set them under a brighter light in the living room to get a better look at them. “I... don't know what to say…,” He spoke quietly, “Tch, how cliché” Malik noticed that Frank was choking up and on the verge of tears. “Welcome home you nerd,” she slugged an arm around Pritchard, “And to a new beginning!” Malik cheered as they all raised their glasses and drank. “David, this is sparkling grape juice.” Malik teased. “I forgot my glasses when I went to the store! All of the labels were blurry.” Suddenly Frank started bawling and sat himself on the bare couch. “Aw Frank! You spilt some of your sparkling grape juice!” Malik ushered over to him and gave him a huge bear hug and wiped some of his tears away. He rubbed his face with his off-white sweater and in between sobs he whispered, “Thank you guys... so much.” “Anything to help an old colleague and friend, Frank. Now let's finish off this kid's liquor before it goes all flat.” “I'm going out to get some real New Year's drinks guys. I'll be back in a few and Frank,” he briefly looks up at Malik, “don't get your sweater soaked.” She winked goodbye as she set off to the nearest store that sold wine. “Now here's some real spirits! Thank you Malik!” David said as he walked out to the patio where Frank sat looking at the fireworks that have gone off early. When the digital clock twitched to twelve they all cheered and filled their wine glasses as an army of fireworks went off. "Happy New Year's," Frank paused to hiccup, "I love you both so much." "I'm cutting you off. We don't need a sobbing AND drunk Pritchard." Malik takes his glass away and sets it far, far, away. "Aww." He hangs his head and fakes some sniffles, "I drank the last of the wine anyways." He turns his head to the noise across the street of some other people cheering and lighting off whizzers and poppers. Malik moves her arms over Frank and David's shoulders and hugs them close. David is half asleep and Frank is genuinely smiling. "You definitely need smile more often. Such a cutie" Frank ends up falling asleep in his new real bed with real matresses and pillows and for once gets a good night rest of sleep. Malik drops David off back at his flat and heads home herself to celebrate in her own time.