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yoon-topias · 11 months ago

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Yoontopia | Chapter 5 { Rides and Noods }

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: When a not so normal day turns into falling back into routine with small changes for both Yoongi and Vi.

⟡ 5.5k words

Yoongi Pov:

We saw Lewis one more time, said bye to bubbles from far away since the exhibit was too far before closing. She is holding onto my finger and we're going to the lockers to take out our stuff. She is walking slowly, almost behind me. I wonder what's going on in her head. Did she go too far telling me everything? Is she having memories flash back into her mind? "Hey Vi, you okay?" She hums in response "I'm just tired, I feel drained." I remember when I finally opened up about everything when I started to get help I would be so drained emotionally and physically after group therapy I would just go and lay down in my room and think about being out of there, with her. That's when my utopia expanded more than just daydreams.

Unlocking the locker and getting out our stuff and going to another locker and putting in the code 0613 she is looking at me confused "What? I knew we would come so I came before, and put ridin’ gear for the night." Always making sure we're both warm, in the proper clothing I hand her the riding gear I bought for her. Both of us will be clad in all black and mine has neon red going through the stitching and hers purple on the stitching. "You got my gear, Yoon." she lights up her smile being contagious I can’t help but smile.

"Well I'm not gonna let you go cold am I? Now go change okay? We're gonna have one amazing last ride, cause’ for the party I'm driving Jin's car since you'll be in a dress." She nods her head and stumbles closer to me like a penguin bobbing her head back and forth reaching to pick up her gear, god she looks so good in it. It is tight and fits all her curves, the roadmap I want to know blindfolded. When she is wearing what I bought her to be on my bike with me, yeah I can be possessive, but it's just who I'm. What's mine is mine, and she is mine.

Walking into the bathroom she has the backpack so she doesn't have to carry her clothes out with her in public, locking the stall, setting my stuff on the door hook so it isn't on the ground. Undoing my jeans, looking down at myself I have the same scars she does in different forms.. Would she accept me also? Shaking my head, grabbing my black racing pants with skid protection, sliding them on, buttoning them up, pulling my sweat shirt and hoodie off, folding them up and setting them down.

My body has one deep scar that no one has seen, not even the one night stands. Always made sure it was dark until I needed to see their body to go to my utopia. The only time I had a one night stand was when I was in a manic episode hell they felt like a dream more than anything, but I know what I did. I run my fingers under my ribs where the deepest one is. I was in an episode and couldn't take it anymore and stabbed myself, because the voices told me if I did it would stop. Which of course didn't stop so I continued on my body when Pop came in and saw all the blood and stopped me. I was admitted at that time for two months. Two months away from everyone. I was excluded and that's when I learned I needed to control myself not everyone but for myself. I hurt pops my dad and luckily he wasn't hurt too bad just a few minor cuts.

"Hey Yoon, you good?" Fuck I got lost in thought again "yeah I'll be out in sec sorry." throwing on my black shirt and my black riding jacket with the red stitching I'm ready to be on the road again. Fuck I need a- no I need pineapple.

Coming out of the stall Looking at myself in the mirror I have learned to accept the way I'm, sometimes I don't know who I'm but I know I have come so far from where I was. I found solace in riding. I needed a way to escape from reality and the bike felt like an extension of my body to the road. So many late night rides to escape my own self. Hans learned how to ride to have a way to connect with me since she felt like she lost me also. My bike is my comfort place going down the road seeing the highway lights passing by as I go in and out of cars, feeling the wind, walking on the edge of life and death but having the control of it all and choosing to stay. I sigh. I know what I need.

I reach into my pocket grabbing my keys, the keychain canister with my own pineapple rather, a pharmaceutical fix. The xan in my hand putting it in my mouth cupping my hand, getting some water from the tap slinging my head back. The cold water rushes down my throat. I can feel the relief before it's even in my bloodstream. It may be prescribed, I shouldn't feel bad for taking it but after everything the last thing I need is an episode.

Wiping some cold water on my face, patting it away. Yoongi you can do this, you have been through worse she may be gone for a while but right here right now you're with her. Be strong for her but for yourself too. I can’t risk falling down again.

Walking out of the bathroom she is standing there with a lollipop in her mouth, her foot up on the wall and she is looking at the fish tank across from the restrooms. I put all the extra stuff in the locker. I'll come back for it tomorrow as I close the lock, she looks at me. "Oh you're done. Finally." She goes to move but I stop her. "I need a fix, Vi." Placing my hands on her hips and looking into her eyes. She blinks at me and bites down on the lollipop and pulls the stick out of her mouth "Was the last one, I guess you're outta luck Yoongs."

She is gonna be the death of me if I'm not already in the pits of hell I'm sure as hell walking in there willingly. "Ya know you're gonna be the end of me Vi."

"I don't know." she shrugs at me squeezing her hip and she lets out a sound I have never heard from her, going up to her ear "Did you like that Vi?" I see a light red tint on her cheeks so she likes pain? A masochist? I can get behind that. "I'm gonna get my fix one way or another." and I tip her head up and lock our lips and she grabs onto the bottom of my jacket tightly.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

I bite on her bottom lip and she parts her lips and we're moving in the sync she is mine in this moment, it feels fucking amazing. I don't need those cigs as long as I feel like this. She is otherworldly and I don't know how I'm gonna do it without her when I just got her. I give her one more small bite pulling away, we're both breathing heavy "Now let's go live a little." I grab her hand and lock our fingers. Walking to the doors to go to my bike. It's dark out, the best time for a ride. “But aren’t we living already?”

“Yes we are but just you wait, Vi.”

She is by my side and this is all I could ask for. I'm so close to pulling the trigger and risking it all and walking straight into hell, let her consume me but I can't take her down with me also. When we get to my bike, release her hand, going to her back and unzip the bag, take her helmet out that’s on top. The color purple for me will always be associated with her and that's never changing. Coming around her I let my spare hand run over her hip. I really did pick the right gear for her, looking at her right now I could just sink in a hole. Anytime she was in her gear before I would just not look or only pay attention to her eyes which sometimes was the harder option.

"Fuck you're so gorgeous." I mumbled not meaning to, and she looks up to me. "You're lying, Yoon."

Looking at her right now under the night sky next to my bike, my escape the extension of myself. Hell at this point she may be an extension of myself in ways the universe won't understand. "Violet, do you understand what I have told you multiple times before. I love everything about you, your eyes, hair, curves, hips, god your fucking ass I have to stop myself from looking at, personality, fucking everything about you. I would let you drown me and I'd accept my fate. So before you go and say I'm lying, look at yourself because you're lying to yourself Miss pineapple."

Her head is already tilted up in shock, I place a kiss on her forehead and put her helmet on her. Those eyes stare at me through the shield. They are beautiful. Breathtaking. Enchanting. If this is the last ride I'm gonna have with her for a while I'm gonna use it until I no longer have it. Shaking her head to make sure it's good can't let habits go away right?

"Yoongi stop that! I'm gonna be dizzy one day and fly off the back."

Getting close to her face and looking at her in the eyes "Oh yeah looks like I’ma have to hold onto your thigh the entire time then"

Turning to get my helmet off her seat, buckling it up, swinging my leg over and turning on my bike to warm up since it's a cold night gotta let the engine warm up before going. I hold my arm around for her and she leans on me to swing herself over. Something about these small things we do mean so much to me it's a thing we only do together. Anyone else doesn't get this from me; she sees another side of me and I'm willing to let down that wall for her.

"Vi my terms tonight, my songs kay?"

I hear her voice over the in helmet speaker "what my playlist isn't good enough?"

"Nah I just wanna zone into my songs tonight, feel the connection with you and the road."

She hum "mhm okays."

I feel behind me her positioning to get closer to me and as she is I kick the stand up, put it in gear to go and I turn the throttle makes us move suddenly makes her jolt forward and wrap her arms around me.

"Min Yoongi you're really tryin to kill me huh?"

"Who said I'm tryin you kill you when you already took my heart"

I hit play, on my playlist I play when I'm alone in my thoughts on my late night rides she is gonna hear songs I never have played for her. Music is the only other thing I make a connection with.

I rev my bike and she has her wrapped around my waist. It is different feeling her like this after today, I look down and I see her gloved hands fingers intertwined holding on ready to go. I rev my bike and reach my arm back to give her thigh a squeeze. "Let's go, wife."

"Since when am I your wife?"

"Didn't you hear? We got married not long ago looks like Mrs. Min needs a refresher course."

Before she can say anything I take off time to go on the highway. I feel the way my bike feels and I'm already feeling lost in the feeling. The beat of the music coursing through my veins her touch. This is everything to me. My brain may be different from others but that's who I'm and I have found my ways to cope. In other situations I have found ways to distance myself from it all, before I never let myself enjoy riding with her to the extent I feel right now because I knew if I did I would go too far and there would be no returning. Straight into hell I go.

We're about to go on the ramp to the highway. I'm gonna take the longest way I can tonight, indulge myself in this. I give her a squeeze on her left thigh to give her the indication we're about to turn. She knows we're about to go on the highway so she needs to hold on tighter, thighs gripping me tighter. I'd like to feel them in other ways. I lean left and I feel her lean with me and as we come out the turn I speed up to merge onto the highway.

"Hold on."

"You think I haven't done this before? It's not my first time."

"Watch your mouth Vi, bad girls don't get what they want huh?"

"And what do I want? mhm?"

"Me."

She doesn't reply but just squeezes me, I feel her helmet rest on my back. I know I caught her tongue she hasn't seen this side of me, for me in a relationship and a partner I need to be the dominant one for me I feel like I lose a lot of my control with my brain and emotions so I feel the most alive when I'm in control honestly I know we're no where close to that but I hope she is okay with that.

The highway is empty, it's late and there are very few cars going in and out of the lanes passing by the few cars. My brain feels light, floaty, free I'm free there are no intrusive thoughts it's all gone I feel normal whatever that is. I smile. This is what I miss out a lot of the time and when I get it, it's euphoric.

Her body pressed against mine, she could drain everything from me and I’d still choose her every time. It sounds terrible but when you're like me this feeling doesn't come often. I truly don't know how I'm gonna do it without her but if it's not for her it's for myself to prove I have made the progress. I'm okay without her, strong enough. Right?

"Ready for some fun, you know what I’ma do."

Her fingers tighten and I know it's time I pop the wheel up and lean back. I hear Violet in the speaker scream at the top of her lungs.

"I love you Min Yoongi." did she just say that while doing this she really wants us dead huh. Grounding, and slowing down just a little bit reaching my hand back squeezing her thigh.

"You can't just scream that Vi. My heart can't take it."

"Looks like we gotta toughen you ups big fish, cause’ you're gonna hear it a lot." and she lets out a laugh.

I give her a squeeze on the right side as we're about to go down a tunnel. "Right tunnel let's light it up" with that we turn right and the only thing in the tunnel is our neon red and purple helmet lights bouncing off the sides of the tunnel. It's just me and her in our own world and I'm not ready to let it go. "This song Yoon, it's amazing, add it to my playlist." She likes my music. This can't get better can it, I have to be dreaming. In my utopia.

"Yoon can we have a sleepover?"

"Well if I'm your husband I have to sleep with my wife right?"

"I guess you're right gotta make sure you're not cheatin'"

"I would never cheat, but with someone like you I gotta worry if someone stealing you away from me."

I reach my hand back and rub her thigh god what I would do to feel her thigh against my hand her skin, giving her a squeeze. We are about to turn turn off the highway to go to her apartment, as we lean I keep my hand on her thigh just a little bit longer I tell myself. We come to a stop. I don't need to give her a warning because she knows there is a stop sign at the end of the ramp. The only light is us lighting up the road and the red light waiting to turn green. Hell most of the turns she doesn’t need warning we know this city from the back of our hand.

"It's peaceful tonight, Yoon we should sleep with the blinds open and the window."

"We can do anything you want, Princess."

It turns green and I squeeze her to turn and we go down the road into the night. I keep extra clothes at her house yet I'm just the best friend's brother huh? She buys all my favorite snacks and cooks my favorite food. I have my own spot on her bed. Yeah I'm just the best friend's brother.

Going down the road to her apartments thank god Hana and her picked a safe area I made sure they would be okay alone. When Hana moved out I turned into the phone call away type of thing and anytime Vi was on edge I found myself in her bed with a pillow between us, because she said "No the couch will hurt your back just sleep with me."

Pulling into my own spot that I have claimed right out front the building that Hans used to have, kick the stand and lift my arm to help her off. She swings her leg over and loses her balance and I pull by her arm to catch her before falling and she falls into my arm. "Careful, Vi can't have you breakin' on me when I just got you."

She gains her balance, she is standing in front of me waiting for me to take her helmet off for her. I turn off my bike. At night once the bike is off its pitch black yet all that can be seen is our red and purple against the pavement, swinging my leg over standing in front of her lifting the shield on my helmet tapping her chin. She lifts up and I unbuckle it, pulling it off her head, setting it down behind me. I straighten her hair for her and give her head pats that she is good to go.

"Yoon! Can I take your helmet offs?" She wants to do what I do for her every time. Cute.

"Sure let me sit on the bike Kay?"

I sit down on my bike with both my feet to one side, she steps up in between my legs and taps my chin like I always do for her. Yoongi you are doing this to see her smile go along with what she wants, not like I could say no to her anyway. She is trying to unbuckle it and I see her tongue peek out trying to focus on unbuckling it. Her brows are crossed, she is so focused that she doesn't even flinch when I place my hands on her hips. I hear the metal click.

She did it, took it off and placed it between me and her. She starts to fix my hair for me, her fingers running through my hair and it feels so calming, like when my mom would play with my hair when we were waiting on a room for me in the hospital she was trying to comfort me during the long wait of finding a bed for me many nights. I'm grateful for the family I have. You know how they say men fall for the woman who reminds them of their mother, yeah she is so much like her. It's like a warm hug anytime I'm around her.

"Ya done?" She nods her head proud that she did it. Grabbing both our helmets, taking them inside for the night she has the backpack on and we make our way to the door, she enters in the building code. 134340. *beep* and the door unlocks, we make our way to the elevator she is on the third floor. “Uh I forgot the code again. They gotta spot changing it every three months for safety. Blah. blah. Blah. Oh! My keys.” she starts to tap her pants

“Damn it left the backup key in my pants at the aquarium.”

"Well lucky you I have the code memorized, and your spare." and I'm just the best friend's brother rolling my eyes.

"Mister, did you just roll your eyes at me? You won't get your favorite snacks." she crosses her arms at me and pouts. I'm falling and I can't get back up help . Help me. I look at her and hear the *ding* for the elevator.

"I didn't mean to please forgive my snack Princess. I need my snackies."

"If I must." She lifts her head up and walks out the elevator to go to her door. I can't get enough.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

We get to her unit and my keys are in my pocket, but both my hands are currently holding our helmets. "Get my keys from my pocket. Left one Vi"

She comes up to me and reaches into my left pocket and goes to unlock the door for us, she steps inside and turns on the light. I walked in and set our helmets on the entryway table she had to have that I carried here for Four blocks with her yelling at me "common we got this."

"You're barely doing anything VI I'm holding it!"

"Oh yeah, but we got this Yoon! Two more to go!"

She did have to give me snacks and a back massage for that one. We get into our night routine, she is in the kitchen making some dinner for us and I go to her room and set out our pajamas we're going to wear, laying them on her small leather sofa. I picked out some black sweat pants and a big navy shirt. She on the other hand will be wearing her purple pajamas gosh she is a child at heart but I love everything about her.

My job is also to get the bed ready so I fold down the sheet and comforter since she always has to make her bed saying "I don't feel complete without it made in the morning." grabbing my pillow from her side that she of course stole and setting it on my spot, placing another in the middle a body pillow to separate our halves of the bed. I walked out and she made us some ramen quick and easy dinner tonight.

"Your favorite sir." and she takes a bow and moves her left hand over stomach like she is a noble queen or king. "Thank you Princess, as always." going to sit on her couch. It's big, white, and fluffy. It's one of the most cozy couches I have ever been on. I see why she chose it every time I sit on it. She sits her ramen on the coffee table, runs to go get us some drinks,sets them on the coasters and plops down on the couch and rubs her hands together like she is evil or something. She always gets so excited for food. Pulling my phone out I need to let Jin know I won't be home.

Me: Hey sleepin at Vi tonight, got something to tell you tomorrow.

Jin: You got your meds? Do I need to run them by and put them on your bike? Say you gotta check on something?

Me: Uhh well beat me to it. I told her and Jin you were right as always. I'm rolling my eyes as we speak. She accepted everything, but there's more I need to tell you. I had my rescue took a xan I needed it don’t have my main. I'll be home in the morning to take it, not staying out all tomorrow promise.

Jin: SEE. I. TOLD. YOU. She would accept you and not look at you differently you didn't believe. Give me my ten bucks. Pay up.

Jin: Also good good but if you need I'll run them by if something changes you know I'm a call away.

Me: I know thank you Jin and yes I'll give you your ten bucks tomorrow. Ugh. Night Jin. you and Hobi don't enjoy our apartment too much.

Putting my phone on the table and grabbing my ramen this girl is already munching and blowing out as she takes more in because she can't wait for it to cool down. "Ahh you burned me noods."

"Well how about to wait until the noods are colder."

"Nopes they too good. Nummy."

I turn on the tv to her favorite show which is of course slice of life anime, fruits basket.

"Oooo what episode are we watching tonight Yoon?"

"I’ma put on a random one by the looks of it we are now at rewatching it for the tenth time"

I eat on my ramen as she is munching away, laughing at the tv like a kid watching their favorite cartoon. I could never get enough of it. These small mundane things make life seem worth it to me, even with Jin when we cook together or even just lounge watching tv, playing video games, or fishing because he loves it and I don't understand the hype but I do it for him it all makes life seem worth it. Slurping up my last bit of noods. Fuck I'm around her too much huh? She is on the couch still in riding gear knees to her chest intently watching her show after finishing her food.

I stand up, grab both our bowls, set them in the sink, go and run her bath and put in her favorite vanilla bubble bath to make sure it's bubbly because "You can't ever have enough bubbles, how am I gonna make a bubble beard." I can picture it now with her pointer finger raised like she is telling me something oh so important, and this woman is a lawyer. Sometimes I can't believe it but I have seen her in the courtroom and she turns it into her own place and makes sure she is known and in charge. She really does have many sides to her and I want them all.

Walking out of the bathroom she is totally zoned into the show with Tohru and Kyo tension. I hear a small "Come on tell her to love her." shaking my head and grabbing the remote to turn off and pressing the button and that catches her attention.

"Yoon! I was about to tell Kyo how he needs to finally confess."

"Oh yeah? you know what happens. Tell him next time it's time for a Bath after a long day."

She sighs at me and gets off the couch and starts to run to the tub "you get my clothes?"

"There on the couch as always"

I hear a small "Thank yous." As she shuts the door, picking up her house a little bit, she has case papers all over her table, putting them in one stack and collecting all the unopened mail. I see a letter from her dad in jail. I'll have to check on that later, not tonight. She will be in there for while I go grab my clothes, change in her room. She is used to this routine. I shower in the morning, and her a bubble bath at night. We’re opposites on that. Once I'm all changed I go and lay down on the couch and put on her show. She doesn't need to know I enjoy the show as much as she does.

I hear the bathroom door lock click. She is done after almost a full episode, she runs with a towel wrapped in her hair and around her body, shuts her door to change and once she is done she is running out here with a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her like a cape "Yoon! Did you yell at Kyo for me?"

"You bet your perfect ass Vi, I did." She smiles and wiggles her head a little bit. She lays on my chest under my arm that is spread out on the couch. She likes to call it her "Pocket." We lay here watching tv until she can no longer keep her eyes open and I have to force her to go to bed. It's our routine. I love it.

After watching three episodes she is slowly closing her eyes on and off. She is about to crash I can tell. I slowly remove my arm from her and go turn the tv off, walk to her room, open the curtain and window since she said she wanted to sleep with them open. I only allow it since she is on the third floor. If she had a bottom unit it would be staying shut for safety. I walk to the living room and put up our cups in the dishwasher, go to shake her "Hey Vi night night time kays?"

"Mhmm sleep out here."

"No, the couch hurts your back, remember?"

"I be finesssss Yoongs" she adds emphasis on the ‘s’

I pull the blanket off her and pull her by her arms, she stands up and leans her head on me. "You're never gonna let me sleep on my couch huh?"

"Nope you won't let me, I won't let you."

Making our way to her room, I turn off the light and she plops on her bed, snuggles in her soft sheets. This woman has the softest sheets I have ever felt. No wonder she sleeps so well. "Night night Yoonie." she really is like a child when she is tired I swear she sleep talks.

I make my way to my side and pull the covers and slide into bed. The moon is casting over us and I look and see the stars. Maybe there is another us swimming around in the ocean exploring everything there is to see, when I'm here about to lose her for a while. I can live knowing another me is with her swimming around. Yeah we're fish.

"Yoon can we move the pillow tonight please? Are you comfortable without it?"

I never thought I would hear those words come from her. It's been so long since we've been this close takes me back to our Sunday morning cuddles before everything changed, until now. Of course I’m comfortable, hell if I get to hold her maybe my head will shut up for once before bed and I won't just lay in the dark thinking.

"I'll be more than happy to remove my competitor from all these years, Vi."

She lets out a laugh. It sounds like heaven, moving the pillow out of my way and right when I do she scoots in, wraps an arm around my waist. I haven't been this close to something sleeping, well in forever. Any of those one-night stands I left right after and since thenI apologized to the girl. I couldn't explain why fully. My brain doesn't think about other people in those situations. My main goal was relief from my own mind. I haven't done it in years and I plan to never let that side of me cave into that hole again. I hear her take a deep breath "You smell like Yoon."

"Maybe cause’ I'm Yoon."

"No way I'm sleepin with my Yoonie."

"Yeah I'm your Yoonie, he's goin nowhere, get some sleep Vi."

She nods her head “Mhm okays.” tightening around me I could get used to this every night, looking at the night sky from the bed is so calming, hearing her breaths in and out I wonder what she dreams of, am I in it like she is in mine? I feel her leg wrap around me. She is out like a light. It's time for me to sleep, I hear her mumbling. God she is so cute, She really is like a kid. "I hope Yoonie likes me, not mad for leavin." I know she is out of it no use in talking to her about what she just said. Last time she was talking about Torhu and Kyo needing to be together. I just give her a squeeze, shut my eyes. I'm gonna savor this moment because I don't know when the next time I'll hold her like this, there is something so intimate about letting someone into your safe zone not for sex or anything more than just sleeping. It's a special thing. I'm not taking this for granted. "I love you more than you know Violet Rose. I'll always be here waiting for you to come up stream needing more water my little fish."placing a kiss on her head drifting off into the night.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

Previous | coming soon

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

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jan-ala · 6 months ago

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Hot take : books have too many words

Now that I have your attention, I'm talking about instructional books. Non-fiction books with the purpose of teaching a skill.

Representative example : Automate The Boring Stuff With Python by Al Sweigart. Ostensibly, this is an application-(pun intended)-forward approach to teaching/learning how to program.

Guess on what page, excluding indexes, excluding the forward, you're asked to actually write a single program.

Page 56. Question 9 of the practice questions on the final page of chapter two. And it's a simple if, elif, else decision tree. I bought this book used and the previous owner stopped bookmarking and highlighting on page 41. They didn't write a single line of code themselves.

This isn't a problem unique to this book, it's a criticism I have of most books like this. My criticism of this book is in how similar it is to every other programming book for beginners. But this isn't just true of this domain, it's true of music, it's true of drawing, it's true of painting, it's true of creative writing, second languages, any skill you can learn. I've spent the last year and a half just trying to learn how to do new things as an adult and it's been more and more of this schlock.

I am a firm and committed believer in books, and I think digital learning tools are at best a poor substitute in a pinch. But this is not the way.

Fact of the matter is that humans are really bad at high-level concepts. We are bad at making them, we are bad at communicating them, and we are bad at learning them and drawing conclusions from them. So many highly educated people I know in my field are dumb as rocks because of this.

Learning a new skill happens from repetition. It's a training regimen that involves frequent direct instruction, but it should be at least 50% training.

Imagine if I were your personal trainer (gym) and our first week I just spent every day talking about proper form, nutrition, muscle groups, etc., without you actually doing anything. It may or may not be useful information but you won't have retained much and you wouldn't have grown at all in your fitness!

Gotta put my money where my mouth is and write books...

#books #rant #programming #python

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the-fallen-collective · 10 months ago

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To be trans is to be your own pallbearer To carry the weight of a dead person around with you My gender can't speak, but even if it could It'd stay hidden in the corner of every room Trying to keep quiet anyway

Learn to piece my parts together on an assembly line Learn to code a language where I am not excluded If my gender had a pair of arms It'd point out all the rallies I didn't get the invitation for How in the second wave we fought for gender equality And limited the number to two

If my gender could be sold It wouldn't fit inside the pages of Ms. magazine If my gender had legs, it would sprint Catch up with all the progress that feminism is making All the fucking progress that TERF feminism is making

#These are lyrics btw #sweet cis teen #dazey and the scouts

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flowers-and-literature · 2 years ago

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I <3 being mentally ill about trans music 💖💖💖💖

TO BE TRANS IS TO BE YOUR OWN PALLBEARER TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF A DEAD PERSON AROUND WITH YOU MY GENDER CAN'T SPEAK BUT EVEN IF IT COULD IT'D STAY HIDDEN IN THE CORNER OF EVERY ROOM TRYING TO KEEP QUIET ANYWAY LEARN TO PIECE MY PARTS TOGETHER ON AN ASSEMBLY LINE LEARN TO CODE A LANGUAGE WHERE I AM NOT EXCLUDED IF MY GENDER HAD A PAIR OF ARMS IT'D POINT OUT ALL THE RALLIES I I DIDN'T GET THE INVITATION FOR HOW IN THE SECOND WAVE WE FOUGHT FOR GENDER EQUALITY AND LIMITED THE NUMBER TO TWO IF MY GENDER COULD BE SOLD IT WOULDN'T FIT INSIDE THE PAGES OF MS MAGAZINE IF MY GENDER HAD LEGS IT WOULD SPRINT CATCH UP WITH ALL THE PROGRESS THAT FEMINISM IS MAKING ALL THE FUCKING PROGRESS THAT TERF FEMINISM IS MAKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw.

#dazey and the scouts #i fucking love these guys *crying sobbing covered in blood screaming*

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chaos-and-kromer · 2 years ago

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mood at the moment

“You'll change your name, or change your mind And leave this fucked up place behind “ -christmas kids

“And I see your tendency to redefine disease by what you need And I’m afraid I can’t prescribe the diagnosis that you seek” -marsha, thankk you

“my teeth are yellow, hello world, would you like me a little better if they were white like yours?” -alien blues

“ Learn to piece my parts together on an assembly line Learn to code a language where I am not excluded” -sweet cis teen

#song lyrics

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goodnightwindy · 3 years ago

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TO BE TRANS IS TO BE UR OWN PALLBEARER

TO CARRY THE WEIGHT OF A DEAD PERSON AROUND WITH YOU

MY GENDER CANT SPEAK BUT EVEN IF IT COULD ITD STAY HIDDEN IN THE CORNER OF EVERY ROOM TRYING TO KEEP QUIET ANYWAY. LEARN TO PIECE MY PARTS TOGETHER ON AN ASSEMBLY LINE LEARN TO CODE A LANGUAGE WHERE I AM NOT EXCLUDED

IF MY GENDER HAD A PAIR OF ARMS ITD POINT OUT ALL THE RALLIES I DIDNT GET THE INVITATION FOR

HOW IN THE SECOND WAVE WE FOUGHT FOR GENDER EQUALITY AND LIMITED THE NUMBER TO TWO

IF MY GENDER COULD BE SOLD IT WOULDNT FIT INSIDE THE PAGES OF MISS MAGAZINE

IF MY GENDER HAD LEGS IT WOULD SPRINT

CATCH UP WITH ALL THE PROGRESS THAT FEMINISM IS MAKING

ALL THE FUCKING PROGRESS THAT T/RF FEMINISM IS MAKING

#this is lyrics but also im feeling this way constantly

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obeymeluv · 4 years ago

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Could you do one with an MC who is rich and has two butlers and they happen to arrive out of nowhere, and they start to become clingy, and they call MC ✨Master✨? How would the brothers react? And could you also please do the reaction of the undateables to? Thank you and keep up the great work!❤️❤️

What an interesting concept :0

These will be short-ish since you want to include the Undateables, too. Also, bear with me. First time doing the Undateables. Luke is excluded because he is a baby.

Lucifer:

He didn’t remember this being in your selection packet. This is unacceptable.

Is very unnerved and aggravated because...why so clingy? Have some dignity!

Literally wrinkles his nose at them and scoffs

When they address you as “Master” in his presence he tries very hard not to throw something at them or make a demon noise.

Something about them addressing you like that seems like a smack in the face, like they’re flaunting their closeness and he’s just not here for it

If they get him the right way on the wrong day, he’s going to pull rank and be like ‘I was here with them BEFORE you got here and you’re in the Devildom. MY HOME. Know your place.’

Will play their game and force them to actually be a butler, dismissing them when he’s with you or requesting things. If they don’t look like they want to do it for them, he’d call them out on whether or not they’re really a butler with that shit-eating smirk on his face.

Mammon:

Is pretty excited. They’re basically his butlers now too, right?! He’s your best man so you share, right?!

If they shut him down, ignore him, or dismiss him, Mammon’s going to be super butthurt about it

Their whole clingy ‘Master’ bit is really not sitting right with him. It’s doing a number on his desire to be greedy and snap up all your time or attention

Is most likely to trick them, like sending an illusion of you down the hall just so they follow you. He’ll make off with the real you! Hey, it’s not his fault you have dumb human butlers, okay?

May just outright lie to them and convince them that they need to work odd jobs in the Devildom to support you (”Uh, yeah, no, they’re broke here. Human money doesn’t transfer, you know?”) because these simps would do it. You get more Grim and he gets you, it’s a win!

Levi

Weirded out but really interested. He’s not super close with Barbatos so this is a chance to find out exactly what being a butler entails. It’s kind of a mystery profession, he thinks

Is also convinced they may not be human butlers because he saw that in an anime once. This sends Levi on a small (constant) spying expedition to see if anything non-human happens

This may be where he realizes he has a sub kink because hearing them call you ‘Master’ makes him blush and feel some kind of way?!

The magic dies a bit when they’re dismissive and kind of protective, seeming to guard you from the bros

Gets jealous because they’re obviously close to you and that’s basically a pet name and why can’t HE have that?

They may or may not be scared by his demon form if/when he sulks around

Might trick them into playing an intense butler/serving VR game and trap them in it for a little bit. He feels like they’ve disturbed the peace of the house.

Satan

He sees their game and he’ll play it. If they’re your butlers--and good ones--they’ll cater to him, who is your company.

Lives for every moment he can catch them on a technicality and they have to include him on anything

Thinks it’s cute they call you master. If they get snippy with him, he’ll be happy to explain how that term originated with demons and it will take nothing short of their master to call him off of them

If he’s bored or just feeling some kind of way, he’ll ask them to help fetch books (at your behest, so they do it) and watch them struggle with ancient tomes that may have been enchanted to weigh a little more than normal.

Satan lowkey feels on edge because they feel like intruders in their home, in the space they’ve let you share. Does not want them here.

Asmo

Butlers?! How quaint and cute! Seems like a scene from a book! Have you ever had a wild love affair?!

Charms them without using his powers. They somehow accept him. He appears to be tolerated more than the rest of his brothers, though he undoubtedly plays second fiddle to you. He understands.

Thoroughly enjoys pissing off his brothers via the butlers, toasting with little glasses of drink while the two of you have a private party. Oh, it’s so fun!

Will poke fun at how much they use ‘Master’. “Some people really enjoy that, you know? Is it projection or just your thing?” (It gets on his nerves because, yes, it can be overused.)

It’s a nice peek into something he doesn’t have in his life but it does lose its charm eventually. He’d much prefer the House of Lamentation go back to the way it was.

Will probably charm them right back to the human world. No need for butlers here, you have seven demons!

Beel

Almost eats one of them because he thinks random humans just showed up in the house.

He honestly thought it was some reverse summoning gone wrong and they’d be totally free game to eat. They might have bad intentions, you know?

Once he realizes they’re here for you, he apologizes but is wary.

Are they here to take you away? To check in on you? Why would they do that? You signed all kinds of paperwork stating you’d be safe in the Devildom and stuff!

Lucifer gets aggravated with them floating around and attaching to you (and lowkey trying to clean/rearrange the house) so he asks you to put them on cooking duty. You seem to want a break from them so you agree. Beel tries not to abuse this too much, but he’s glad to have extra bodies ready to cook!

Doesn’t really get the ‘Master’ thing but won’t say anything. Will idly go ask Satan if that’s a thing in the human world. He feels like it should’ve gone out of date a couple of centuries ago.

The one to ask, point blank, if you guys decide to date or get married do they then become his butlers?

Will leave alone if he’s left alone, but if they start to get hostile or sabotage his ability to hang out with you, he will think of a very passive/casual way to show his strength and why he shouldn’t be messed with.

Belphie

Almost attacked them too, but for a different reason. He’d been sleeping when they arrived and no one thought to update him. When he saw random people in the house, he thought someone may have broken in.

Cow man will defend his territory

Will definitely make fun of them when they call you ‘master’. (”Seems like something a lesser creature would do.”)

They may be here for you but they’ll learn his rules. Mainly: do not, under any circumstances, touch his cow pillow.

Couldn’t care less but if he thinks his family is being pushed away because of them, he and Satan may form a smaller ‘Butlers suck’ club and test out some new pranks for the ‘Lucifer sucks’ club.

Will doze in your lap just to hear you defend him and shoo them off. May slap one of them with his tail ‘in his sleep’.

Solomon

Butlers, hm? It wasn’t something he expected

Has no outward animosity for them. Lowkey charms them; he wants them to open up and let their guard down because he is extremely interested in body language. What are they really feeling and thinking?

May show them a few spells to break the ice

If he feels they’re stealing up your time and blocking him, he’ll play their cat and mouse game. He and Satan have a lot in common in that respect.

Secretly wonders if you can make them try his cooking. He doesn’t think it’s half bad!

May ask them for tips on cooking

If he’s bored and you both want to have a laugh, he may find a way to spike them both with truth serum and have a fun time

Secretly wants to have a real tea party-type date

Simeon

What an act of labor and love! How adorable!

He considers them to be the human version of guardian angels and he’s just so touched by it. He thinks its very cute

Dotes on them a bit, almost like they’re puppies instead of people

He is polite and literally angelic, but he is not a pushover. Should they deny him your presence out of spite or distrust, he will give them a mini-schooling (scolding) on politeness and how he prays for their heart

Probably wins them over by being his usual neutral kind of polite self

Doesn’t quite care for them calling you master and warns them of false idols and such

Diavolo

Is very amused. You also have butlers? What a small world!

Do butlers like to hang out with other butlers?

Basically tries to arrange a butler play date

Genuinely laughs when they try to prevent him from being with you in any capacity. (”They may be your master but I am a prince. Soon to be king. Please step aside.”)

He appreciates that they’re protective of you but there IS such a thing as overdoing it and he can excuse them from the Devildom any time he wishes.

Overall takes their presence with grace because you having butlers is like him having Barbatos. They’re just very young and stubborn. He understands. They’ll mellow out soon.

Barbatos

Finds the whole thing laughable, especially when they try to prevent HIM from seeing you

Boy has been a butler for THOUSANDS of years, he knows all the dismissal tricks!

Barbatos will idly wipe a gloved hand over something they’ve cleaned (comes from being head of cleaning staff for thousands of years) and in butler code that SMACKS of judgement and disrespect

He knows this and sometimes he does it on purpose

Barbatos is the very quiet, sly kind of petty

May send the butlers into a cleaning frenzy just because they THINK he’ll say something or they THINK he gave them the side eye

Those humans may work themselves sore and oh, what’s this? You’re suddenly free and unattended? Well, he can’t have that, can he?

Probably saw this happening in one reality or another, so he takes it like a champ. There’s just that nasty bite of pride that refuses to let him be out-butlered.

Hope you liked it, Nonnie!

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dino-nugget7 · 4 years ago

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A Manifesto Against The School System

As of writing this I am a second year Public High School Teacher. I won’t be able to live with myself if I spend another year at it. Literally, I feel like a bit of a monster for deciding to finish out this school year rather than quitting right now. But we do what we must to survive, my students won’t be less oppressed because I left, and if nothing else, it gives me an opportunity to strategize about what I can do to aid in revolutionizing school because authentic alternatives to public school exist but none I have found have been intersectional enough to replace public education without excluding the kids who would most benefit from escaping the main school system here in America.

Some of the reasons I did not understand how oppressive school actually is, are that my interests and hobbies happened to align very neatly with the “core” classes, and that even though I grew up very poor and moved around a lot as a kid, we eventually settled and I went to a well funded high school that had just about any elective and/or after school club that I might be interested in trying and then some. During that time, I came to see school as a place where I could explore my passions and escape my home situation. So I figured I would love to pay it forward and go be a teacher.

I recognized at least, the privileged position I came from and decided I wanted to go learn how to teach in settings as different from my high school as possible. Which is why I went and got special permission for most of my classroom placements throughout the teaching program to be at alternative schools. In Colorado at least, alternative schools are small public schools which primarily serve students identified as “at risk”, which is shorthand for “Statistically more likely to drop out than the general population for one reason or another.”

I did not know when I asked to be placed in one, but learned within days of being there that most people that even know alternative schools exist, think of them as the places where “the bad kids” go. I realized very quickly that they are actually places filled with kids who have experienced a lot of trauma in and out of school and don’t respond to that trauma the way adults want them to respond. I came to adore kids at alternative schools because they remind me of my younger siblings.

Like my oldest brother, many of them find school mind numbingly easy and boring and have much more pressing matters to devote their mental energy to.

Like my middle brother, many of them have spent so much time around teachers who do not understand neurodivergence that have been convinced of the lie that they are weird, dumb and/or lazy and because of that, trying to participate in school is like hitting their head on a brick wall.

Like all of my brothers and my sisters, they have a ton of skills that they are brilliant at, but that are not prioritized by the school system, so they never pursue them, such as construction, music, makeup and programming.

Many, if not most of them come from living situations full of abuse and neglect and/or poverty so they don’t have the mental or emotional space to worry about much beyond survival, and not only haven’t learned how to make and achieve long term goals, but have never had the luxury of a stable enough environment for that kind of planning to be worthwhile.

All that being said, something that you only realize if you actually work in a few public alternative schools, as I have done through college and my current job, is that the name is actually an oxymoron.

What started me down the path of considering and researching all the ways school is an oppressive system, was a conversation I had with a student in my first year teaching. He was learning about chemical reactions and safety and asked me the infamous question, “Why do I have to learn about this?” to which I said “Because everything is chemicals and understanding how they can interact with one another and ways they can harm you can keep you safe when you do things like clean or cook.” To which he replied, “Well no offense but I have no idea how this shit relates to cooking and please don’t tell me because its not like I’m actually going to remember it when I am cooking, and I already know how to clean safely because of work. But you’re still going to make me learn this boring shit anyways so seriously, why do we have to learn about this?”

I paused to consider what he was asking. I had interpreted, as the system trained me to, that the question he was asking was, “what value does this knowledge hold?” But what he actually meant was “Why are you making me waste my time learning about this thing that I never asked to learn about?” So I replied, as a sort of test of my new understanding, “It’s part of the physical science curriculum the Education Department thinks is important for high schoolers to learn.” He was taken aback, “Wait, you don’t decide what stuff we learn about? What’s even the point of teachers then? Why don’t they just give us a list of all their stupid stuff they think we should know so we can get on with our lives?” He had a point and I have spent a lot of time reflecting on and growing from that conversation.

Sure, there are some key differences that make alternative schools slightly more tolerable than your standard 800-4,000 kid high school. Class sizes are smaller so students get more individualized help. We get funding to help students access things such as food, clothes, hygiene products, and healthcare and know students well enough that we actually know which kids are lacking these resources. We have slightly more leeway than traditional schools to create innovative lessons. We don’t give out homework.

But public alternative schools are still oppressive in most of the ways that the big schools are. I’m sure none of this will be a surprise to most readers, but I want you to really consider how restricted kids in public school are, how restricted you probably were in school as you read through this.

School starts early in the morning and students have to constantly shift mental gears throughout the day due to a tight schedule of constantly rotating classes and a very short lunch break. Throughout the day, bells tell students when they can’t or must move around or eat. Students have to ask when they need to go to the bathroom or get water and teachers cannot go at all outside of their plan period because students are not trusted to be in the classroom without an adult even for a few minutes. They have no control over who they share space with and very little control over their ability to leave that space if it conflicts with their needs. There is a strict dress code which disproportionately targets marginalized students. Students are expected to be sociable but not given nearly enough opportunities to actually socialize. The school keeps records of everything the student has ever gotten in trouble for, every class the student has taken, every grade they have received, their “class rank,” and every intervention program the student is part of. And like every public school, alternative schools must follow state curriculum standards and by extension, grading, data collection, and required testing. On the surface it might not seem like it, but that last point is actually the most insidious one and its the one that has followed students into remote learning during the pandemic.

According to the people who decide how schools work, there are four factors of student choice: These factors are Time, Place, Pace, and Path. For example, if I am running a unit on plate tectonics, rather than giving students a worksheet and telling them to work on it as we go through a slideshow and turn it in at the end of class, I could put them in groups, give them an online choice board of three different but roughly equivalent projects relating to plate tectonics to choose from, each with different rubrics for completion and tell them they can turn it in at any time in the next two weeks. And then instead of devoting class time to direct instruction, I would give them a variety of resources to peruse and teach them how to research more and let them choose what aspects of plate tectonics to focus on and how to present their information. Now, this is certainly a few steps in the right direction away from making kids sit in rows and listen to the teacher drone on about plate tectonics while they take notes. But it misses the most important factors of choice in my eyes, the things that I would be fired for if I actually gave them the choice about: How students spend their time and what they are allowed to prioritze.

None of this is to say that expecting kids to learn is inherently fucked up or that teaching inherently makes one an oppressive person. On the contrary, authentic teaching and learning are vital to our ability to solve our problems and grow as people. If all students were given the opportunities to spend their childhoods learning things that they were actually interested in, to explore the full breadth of knowledge that humans have compiled at their leisure without timelines or milestones except the ones they set for themselves, to socialize with people of all ages, to authentically participate in society both as learners and as educators, as leaders and as team members, the world wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be a lot less soul crushing.

Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this piece that authentic alternatives do exist. To get you started on researching what’s out there, I recommend starting with Sudbury schools and the unschooling movement.

But unless these models somehow miraculously become a large and accepted enough presence to get government funding, or money ceases its hold on us all, the public school system will be the only one that most students, especially impoverished students, transient students, english language learners, and disabled students (especially those with profound disabilities) will have access to. Which is a damn shame and a problem I am committed to trying to figure out how to contribute to solving because those are the students whose lives would be most radically transformed for the better if they got the opportunities that these models provide.

#school #anti school #oppression #manifesto #youth liberation #I am aware that this severely pushes how long people are willing to read for on Tumblr #but I needed to get it out there into the void

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funkymbtifiction · 4 years ago

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Hi Charity!

I wrote in earlier about sending in a “Type Me” post and you suggested I make a list of things I’m good at and ask my family or someone impartial who has known me for a while which cognitive functions they think fit me. Thank you! As it turns out, they were unanimous that my thinking function seems very definitely Aux Ti…but they also think my feeling function seems slightly more Aux Fi than Tert Fe X-D. Since I’m torn between ENFP and ENTP, my family’s analysis didn’t narrow it down much, but it did sort of highlight where I’m most confused, which is the my feeling function. Hopefully you can help shed some light on this?...

I think ENFP. I didn't see any rationalizing / Ti, but a steady stream of self-conscious awareness of morals and how you could be better at them, ethical decisions (such as not taking credit for things you didn't do yourself), a focus on relationships and how others are reacting to you / how you need to be more aware of people's needs, and a few things that "trigger" your Fi enough to get upset (while being generally permissive / easy to get along with otherwise). I'm guessing you have a strong presence of Enneagram 9 and a 3 fix.

#question #enfp

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annoying-lucy · 5 years ago

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Evan Evagora did an AMA involving the Star Trek Shitposting Facebook Group - the questions and answers below were copy/pasted direct from the collated master post. Evan is a member of the group, who participates under an unknown pseudonym.

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AMA Master Post!

Thanks so much to Evan Evagora for taking time out of his day for our AMA earlier. To make the questions and answers easier for ya'll to find, here they all are together below.

Q: How does my love of cats compare to Elnor?

A: Im actually more of a dog person, there was a scene that had Elnor and spot 2 unite briefly but unfortunately it didn’t leave the editing room

Q: How familiar was I with Star Trek before and did I have to do research?

A: I grew up with TNG, I’d have to say either worf, Guinan or Q are my favourite characters. And I was given episodes to watch that were to help with information before filming Picard

Q: How was I prepped to deal with the crazy fans?

A: I got told to join Star Trek shitposting 😉. Not but in all seriousness, it was Jonathan Frakes who gave me advice on entering the world of fandom from the other side and he said it’s been nothing short of a pleasure

Q: So if Hugh had survived would they have made out?

A: what happens on the cube stays on the cube

Q: My favourite moment of s1

A: getting to slice that romulans head off

Q: How did I hear about Star Trek shitposting?

A: most of the crew is either a part of the group or knows about, one of the amazing hair and make up ladies got me into I think my first or second day

Q: If I had to be Tuvixed with someone excluding elnor?

A: mirror verse Elnor, nah worf to be honest

Q: What is something I’d like to do in season 2

A: Id like to see Elnor and spot 2 together

Q: How am I passing my time woth quarantine?

A: ama for the gronp! Nah I’ve just been reading, writing and also the contact I’m having with the fans too has really helped a lot

Q: If I had to quarantine with any of my costars who would it be and why

A: I’d go with hardy treadaway he’s got the nicest place

Q: What am I hoping to see in Elnor’s future

A: Inner peace, contentment and possibly shorter hair?

Q: Am I intimidated by working on a show with such a big fan base?

A: no I grew up with Star Trek, you’re really in a bubble of filming when you’re making the show, it all didn’t really hit home until the first trailer at San Diego

Q: Would I consider playing Elnor as non binary

A: I’ve seen a lot of debate and discussion about not only my character but others in the series, if there is something that connects you with a character on this show and it resonates with you, even if it’s shown, not shown or hinted at I’m all for it. I am not for the constant belittlement, bullying and criticism of not only the characters on the show but also other fans. It really does break my heart reading comments where people aren’t welcoming of one another, because that is the whole reason why Trek has bought so many together and by spewing these disgusting cruel words out your not only showing the world you don’t understand the meaning behind the show, you also are destroying the thing that makes us all love it

Q: Is there Australia on romulas

A: yeah they have a down under I’m sure of it. No the accent can easily be explained with, Elnor left romulas at a young age, moved to a planet with different species and languages spoken so that influenced his accent

Q: Have I seen Elnor fan fiction and art?

A: yeah some of it has been really amazing! And some others have been...creative

Q: How excited am I to make home movies with my action figures?

A: my plan is to buy everyone’s, make them record audio and then film shit using the dolls and their voices

Q: Are you playing animal crossing?

A: I’ve preordered it because they’ve sold out here in aus, but in playing civ 6 to pass time and Mario party

Q: Did I get to try Romulan ale?

A: no I wish, I’m kind of hoping for a scene next year where Elnor gets drunk for the first time

Q: What character did I wish would appear in our show?

A: one word, one letter Q

Q: What’s my background have I been acting long?

A: Picard was my third acting gig, and the first project to release, so I have got some experience acting and I have previous work but it has either just aired or is going to next year

Q: Please my friend choose a charity you would like us to donate to

A: food bank

Q: Favourite ninja turtle

A: it’s always been Raph and always will be

Q: Do I know much about Elnors background

A: I know things that haven’t been mentioned yet, but also given his character is new and season 1 just finished, hopefully some of those things are explored

Q: How would o feel about the fan theory that Spock is my father

A: I mean, I’m not really sure, I can always shoot Ethan a message and ask him what he thinks too

Q: Which classic episode trope would I like to see?

A: mirror universe

Q: Can we look forward to more ninja representation?

A: is Elnor not enough? ☹️

Q: Were there any particular characters I drew inspiration from, any elves?

A: there’s a particular group of people I think Elnor might have been inspired from. Can I just say how cool it would be if Elnor is just cosplaying as an elf because Picard left him a copy of Lotr when he was young

Q: Would I be open to exploring Elnors sexuality in s2 and what would it be?

A: I am totally open for that, and as for Elnors sexuality, I’m not sure he’s only 17 he’s just left his planet and gone off on an adventure where he openly knew the success may lead in his death or others he hasn’t had time to figure himself out so seeing his sexuality explored would be amazing

Q: What stories did you hear about working on precious trek series from the OG actors?

A; So we found out Michael Dorn used to muddle his lines up because he was normally the last close up of the day. They used to put bets on to see how many takes he’d have to do. All I must add in very fun spirits nothing ever malicious or mean

Q: My long term career goals

A: id like to keep pursuing more roles I’m acting, I’m a big writer and have some projects I’m looking at getting created but right now I’d say I’m just here to learn and grow

Q: What do I write?

A: right now I’m working on three screenplays and two pilots most of the stuff I’ve written is just sitting on my hard drive just waiting to be used

Q: Ever fried an egg, buttered and vegemite'd some toast and eaten it like a sandwich?

A: what I just read, scared the crap out of me, I love vegemite but the most I’ll do is add cheese to it

Q: What is one of my favourite stories about s1

A: Jeri Ryan and I had a scene together in the borg cube (what a queen she made!) it was shooting at night and I think it was the final shot of the day, we couldn’t keep a straight face and just laughed through about fifteen takes

Q: Are you a big fan of fandom besides Trek?

A: Star Wars, lotr, the magician series Raymond e feist, a song of fire and ice series, avatar last air bender and legend of Korra (would love to play zuko) and of course Batman (fav Jason Todd as the hood)

Q: Could I see myself playing Elnor for six or seven years?

A: as long as there’s a good story that myself and fans will enjoy, but if it didn’t meet my expectations no. And also hopefully the writers and creators would want to

Q: My top TNG eps are in no particular order

I borg, all good things, tapestry, the measure of a man and all good things

I’ll also add I borg especially because it’s just cool seeing where Hugh began and how he ended up

Q: How did I land the role of Elnor?

A: I was on a break from filming Fantasy Island (a movie based off the old tv show) and I was home for pilot season which is when they cast for shows, I had two weeks of daily auditions before I was due to fly back and start filming again, two days before I was meant to leave I got an audition for Picard, the script had a code name and Elnors name was Kbar on it, but I was told it was Star Trek. I went into the room and thought I didn’t do a very good job, then I flew to film and two days later I was told I’ve made a list of people being considered, after a few more auditions and a couple of phone calls from producers and everything I found myself on a plane to LA five weeks later

Q: Have I made friends among the cast?

A: no, we tried really hard to become friends, but unfortunately we ended up becoming a family instead. Everything we say in interviews about us getting along is all true and not fake. I’m the newest to acting out of everyone so I was kind of of shocked to find out that how close we all are isn’t necessarily how it will be when I shoot other projects, so I think we just got lucky or they casted really well

Q: Have the Picard people seen your memes?

A: yes I’ve shown them the memes from the page, I’ve shown everyone including Patrick we find most of them funny (some shocking)

Not shocking in a bad way

Unexpected I should say

Q: How do I feel about the ears?

A: I wore them so much they came up in my dreams, but they were the easiest thing to apply onto me

Q: Which non tng character would I like to see return?

A: I wouldn’t mind seeing the doctor

Q: The most relatable Star Trek character?

A: Look for me growing up it was Wesley, i just picked anyone who was the young one. And I grew up with my sisters and was always being told I’m either wrong, an idiot or just to shut up

Q: Did I have previous martial arts experience before the show?

A: I have a background in boxing which helps when it comes to movement, reflexes and just all around fitness for stunts. I didn’t have any sword fighting experience before we began training for the show however

Q: How do you think being raised by an order of women affected Elnor?

A: I think it gave him a healthy understanding of not only the strength and resilience of women but I think he understands not only gender equality but just equality in general and I think that’s directly to do with growing up in a sect of all female warrior nuns

Q: What is a type of meme you would like to see more of in the group?

A: I love all the memes in the group, I hardly like any of them now incase someone figures out who I am though ahahah

Q: Favorite recent memes?

A: See my comment below

#evan evagora #star trek #star trek: picard #picard #elnor #ama #stsp

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