#LIKE GIRL LMAOOOOO 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[elecmon]

Not to completely change the subject but I'm getting the stitches removed from another mole extraction for, haha and get this, get that Womp Womp noise machine ready!!

Potentially mmoooorrreeeeee skin c*ncerrrrrrrrr. Ahahahaaaaaaaahhhh

Anyway getting them cut off in 7ish hours, and to no one's surprised I'm too stressed out to sleep

Got an email earlier today that the results of the testing are in, so at least that can get over with too (originally they had said it was gonna be a 12~14 day wait, but the stitches would be removed in 10 days)

[ujhold]

i really wanna go to a rave but im scareddd ive never been to one idk how to even act

[loverboybrightsideghost]

you ever just. forget what gender you were born as 💀

[landoughnut]

MILF - FC43

masterlist - request

pairing: franco colapinto x wolff!fem!reader

summary: franco ends up seeing one of toto's daughters posts and finds himself smitten

w/c & a/n: smau | the lack of franco fics is criminal

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63, francolapinto, and 1,846,275 others yourusername it's (almost) summertimeeeeee

view all comments

user1 I still can't believe toto is a grandpa

user2 well I can't believe that someone would leave her 😨 like helloooo fumble of the century

mercedesamgf1 our girls 🫶 ♥︎ by author

mercedeamgf1 meine schönen mädchen 😁 - papa ♥︎ by author

yourusername love youuuu 🥰

carmenmmundt the most beautiful mother 💕 ♥︎ by author

yourusername thank you so much ily 🥹 ♥︎ by author

francolapinto woah 😍

francolapinto mommy? 🫦

mercedesamgf1 absolutely not. - toto

user3 FRANCOOOOO LMAOOOOO

user4 shoot your shot king

francolapinto MILF 🥵😮‍💨

georgerussell63 you cannot be fr rn

francolapinto georgerussell63 oh I'm fr

user5 well I mean he did say he had a thing for milfs

user6 she's only a year older than him 😭

francolapinto user6 who cares I know a baddie when I see one

user7 francolapinto LMAOAOAOAO oh hell no who taught him that word 💀

alexandrasaintmleux wow 😍😍😍 ♥︎ by author

lilymhe girl how do you look so perfect 😫 ♥︎ by author

yourusername oh shush lily you flatter me too much 🤭

lilymhe yourusername only because you deserve it babe ♥︎ by author

alex_albon what is happening rn....

francolapinto georgerussell63 can you set me up por favor

mercedesamgf1 I will end you. - toto

francolapinto mercedesamgf1 no toto no this is so not right 🙄

mercedesamgf1 francolapinto you dare to use my own quotes against me? - toto

francolapinto mercedesamgf1 😛 fight me old man

user8 francolapinto LMAOAOOAOAOAA IM PISSING MYSELF I'M IMAGINING TOTO THROWING HIS HEADPHONES WHILE ARGUING WITH FRANCO

iamrebeccad so... are we just ignoring the elephant in the room babes?

yourusername I have no idea what you're talking about 😄

francolapinto yourusername I know you see my comments 🎀 don't be shy, answer my dm's 🤗

user9 francolapinto don't give up she'll go out with you trust

francolapinto you taught your daughter to share no? maybe you can share a coffee with me then 😉

yourusername that was REALLY bad

francolapinto yourusername but it go you to notice me 😉 a win is a win

francolapinto yourusername so is that a yes?

user10 anddddd she's back to ignoring him LMAOO 🍿

yourusername

liked by francolapinto, mercedesamgf1, lilymhe, iamrebeccad, and 1,930,482 others yourusername 💗☀️

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user11 ma'am you are the definition of an angel

yourusername thats so sweet thank you 🥹

francolapinto I agree

user12 please adopt me I beg 🙏

iamrebeccad WOWOWOW ♥︎ by author

yourusername hehe thanks for being my photographer

iamrebeccad yourusername anything for my favorite girls 🤭 ♥︎ by author

lilymhe MOTHERRRRRRRR (literally and figuratively)

yourusername WIFEEEEEE (sadly just figuratively)

alex_albon yourusername excuse me ⁉️

yourusername alex_albon you heard me

mercedesamgf1 dit zijn prachtige foto's lieverd - papa

yourusername thank you 🩶 she misses her grandpa

mercedesamgf1 yourusername I miss her more, you too should come to the next race 😊 - your papa

user13 petition for toto to start his own instagram

user14 him signing his comment off as "your papa" 🥲 I might cry

yourusername mercedesamgf1 perhaps we will 👀🤭

francolapinto yourusername and then I will take you on our coffee date while toto watches your daughter 🤗

yourusername francolapinto I never agreed to that... alphinef1team come get your reserve driver please

alphinef1team yourusername I fear he is out of our control on this one

mercedesamgf1 francolapinto back away from our girl 🤺🤺

francolapinto mercedesamgf1 NEVER

francolapinto hermosaaaa

francolapinto hold me next 🙋‍♂️

francolapinto so, me. you. getting mate?

yourusername will it stop you with these comment?

francolapinto yourusername probably not, but sure mamí 😁

yourusername francolapinto get rid of that nickname and I'm in

francolapinto yourusername REALLY? OH DIOS MÍO YAYYY

georgerussell63 francolapinto finally

user15 is franco actually pulling a gorgeous milf?????

francolapinto SCREW EVERYONE WHO DOUBTED ME

francolapinto

liked by yourusername, mercedesamgf1, lando, pierregasly, and 2,814,607 others francolapinto we didn't get mate but I did get the girl 🩷

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user16 AWWWWWW

user17 dangggg franco I was unfamiliar with your game... I didn't think she would cave

francolapinto how dare you

user17 francolapinto have you seen her

francolapinto user17 touché

mercedesamgf1 I'm watching you. - toto

mercedesamgf1 hurt her and I will have george or kimi run you off of the track. - toto

francolapinto mercedesamgf1 I would never 😅

yourusername mercedesamgf1 papa stop scaring my boyfriend

mercedesamgf1 yourusername but you are my baby 😢 - your papa

yourusername mercedesamgf1 🥹 I love you

user18 toto is the best father imo

user19 user18 agreed

carmenmmundt YAYYYY SO HAPPY FOR YOU LOVE yourusername

yourusername THANK YOU HEHE I LOVE YOU

yourusenrame my baby love is asking to see you again already 😊 ♥︎ by author

user20 GIRL DAD FRANCOOOOOOOOOOOOO

user21 stop the way she refers to her daughter as baby love more than her real name is adorable

user22 user21 now that I'm thinking about it I don't even know her name

user23 user22 same

francolapinto yourusername running to you asap 🏃

pierregasly félicitations mon ami 🎉 ♥︎ by author

francolapinto graciasssssss pierreeeeeeee 🤗

iamrebeccad you better take care of my girls, you hear me??? ♥︎ by author

francolapinto OF COURSSEEEE in more ways than one 😏

iamrebeccad francolapinto oh...

carlossainz55 francolapinto ......

francolapinto carlossainz55 practicing for baby number 2 😛

yourusername francolapinto OH MY GOSH SHUT UP

mercedesamgf1 francolapinto 😀 you are so lucky we haven't showed toto this

francolapinto mercedesamgf1 PLEASE DON'T HE WILL KILL ME

lando GET IN THERE FRANCOOOO ♥︎ by author

user24 and they live happily ever after, the end 🤗

yourusername exactly 🙌 ♥︎ by author

francolaptino yourusername 🩷

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪. (𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦) 🍊

⤷ summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!

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liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others

tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri

mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come

12,567 comments

user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers 😭

user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era

mclaren well, yes!

user3 HELP MEEEE

user4 the way lando looks at her 😭

user5 this is a place of business

user6 oscar looks petrified 💀

mclaren dw guys we're still training him!

oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog

mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver

user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty 😭😭

user8 no literally, content of her WHERE

mclaren ynusername 🤲🏼

user9 LETS FUCKING GO

user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM 💀 THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL

mclaren they don't pay me to LIE

user11 CRAZYY

user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN 😭

mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace 🥱

user13 icon

landonorris reporting you to hr

mclaren for what

landonorris idk harrassment or something

mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down 💀

user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM

user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures

user16 real and true

user17 i fear we may have lost the plot

user18 thoughts on today's results

mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man

user19 LMAOOOOO

user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif

mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want

user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?

mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches 🥱

landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO

mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF 🫵

oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice

oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day

mclaren so basically your everyday look

oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile

mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want 🤨

oscarpiastri nevermind!!!

maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years

mclaren that's saying something isn't it 🤩

user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin

mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! 💪🏻

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liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others

ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:

3,422 comments

user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today

ynusername 3!

user24 oh that's not that bad

ynusername +5

user24 JESUS CHRSUT

bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier

ynusername honestly yeah

ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!

user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha

ynusername that just made me want to do meth more

landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces 😇

user26 oh brother here he goes

ynusername you must be deaf then

landonorris 😔 2 espresso machines?

ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines 🙄

oscarpiastri now what car is that 🫵

ynusername SHHHHH

oscarpiastri TRAITOR

bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee 🙏🏼🙏🏼

ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments 💀

ynusername but yeah obviously

user27 admin vlogs when 😔

ynusername SOON!!! very very soon

user28 mother feeding us once again

ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume

danielricciardo coffee recipe where?

ynusername in your dms now ‼️

danielricciardo is this flirting

ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable

landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then 🤲🏼

ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case

user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ

user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her

user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:

ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???

user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse

user33 oh please the horse would be dead

ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME ‼️💪🏻🗣️

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ynusername posted to story!

(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)

15,221 replies

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would you like to watch? yes or no

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"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."

"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.

"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."

"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.

"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."

Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.

"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.

Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.

"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"

An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.

"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.

The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."

Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.

Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.

In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.

"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.

"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.

"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.

"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.

Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.

Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.

"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.

"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.

"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.

"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.

"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.

"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."

"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"

Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."

"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.

"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.

In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.

"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.

"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.

"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.

She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.

The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.

"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.

Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.

Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.

The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.

A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."

Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.

And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.

Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.

The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.

"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.

"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.

And with that, the camera cut to black.

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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others

ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost 😔 i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up 🙏🏼 best friend frl

9,547 comments

bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST

ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette 🤩

bsfusername never doing shit for you again

user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take

ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking 🥳

maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography 💪🏻

ynusername don't mention it! 👍🏼

ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)

mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. 🗣️

user35 not y/n threatening herself 💀

oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee

ynusername it did! just 25 hours later

user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner

ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!

user37 PERIODDDD

user38 me personally? i'd never log on again

user39 she needs a personal channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'd subscribe

user40 her cat is so cute 😭😭😭 gimme that

ynusername 🫵 STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES

user40 my bad fam 🧍🏻‍♀️

user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat

landonorris don't you have a job to be doing 💀💀 she slept through a full work day

user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt

user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed

ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me 🥱 talking bout get a job

user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back

user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit

user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys

ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass

landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???

ynusername THAT'S THE POINT

user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user48 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S RIGHT HERE

user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma

user50 OP, are you concussed?

user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him 💀💀

pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!

user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION

user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1

user55 i fear i totally get it 😔

user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk

user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight

user58 she also hugged oscar 😭😭?? and he has a whole gf

user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after 💀 delusion is a disease yall

user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause 😗

user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall 🤨

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!

please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[spideysbruh]

Thank You GQ

a/n- the lil ~ means a passage of time

liked by florencepugh, y/n and 892,339 others

tchalamet GQ.

view all 371,728 comments

tstan your shoots are always the best

GQ let's do it again some time mr. chalamet

y/n oh my

timmylaurie he's so cute omg

liked by tchalamet and 170,383 others

y/n what's everyone asking for from santa?

view all 15,383 comments

timmytimstan omg t liked

yourfriend what are you getting me for christmas 🤭

y/n literally no clue ❤️

tchalamet a vinyl record would be nice

y/n liked

y/n 🤔

timmytimstan omg t commented !

timmysgf who is she ??

tchalamet oh wow.

kylesballs not him simping for a random insta model publicly LMAOO

timotheeandall y/n is NOT an instagram model omggg 💀

@y/n tweeted: need. need so bad

@sinusandsocks replied- me too girl 💀💀

@lauriesarmpit replied- no way the first tweet I see of hers is ab timmy 😭😭💀💀

@tsgf replied- how do you know it's about him?

@ynsleftear replied- trust me, she's been like this for a while 💀💀 she stays shooting her shot!!

~

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend, rachelzegler and 243,827

y/n honeymoon fades

view all 32,817 comments

sabrinacarpenter caption. i love you.

y/n liked

ynstan BEAUTIFUL GIRL

tchalamet need.

y/n liked

chalametgirl BYEEEE LMAOOOOO

tchalamet oh my.

rachelzegler absolutely gorgeous. when are we hanging out 🥺🥺

y/n im free next week <3 let me dm you w my schedule LMAOO we need to have a sleepover again I got so much to tell you

rachelzegler omg this is happening ill see you next week love

~~~

tchalamet just posted a story!

@y/n tweeted: the average person was never meant to have this much lore.

@realchalamet liked and retweeted

@ynsblanket replied- oh god what happened girl

@ynandtimschild replied- you're literally dating timothee chalamet it's okay 😩😩🙏🏼

@y/n replied- exactly!!! life is crazy.

@realchalamet liked

@timoatreides replied- wait what💀💀

@realchalamet tweeted: life IS crazy

@paulswhore replied- BROOOO !?!?!!!

@ynsgf replied- HELPP!?!?!!! at 2am is crazy

~~~

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette, haileesteinfeld and 1,937,727 others liked

y/n two years. you've dealt with every part of me and you're still here with me. I love you more than anything my silly boy. I'll always remember the GQ issue that finally gave me the courage to dm you 💀💀

view all 123,732 comments

tchalamet ohhhh THATS why its framed in our place 🤔🤔

y/n but also cause im so proud of you 😍things can have two meanings 🫶

paulsdune TWO YEARS ?!?!!! it took yall forever to make it official huh

y/n you're telling me...

tchalamet thank god for GQ cause i was too scared to dm you myself 💀💀

y/n liked

lauriesyn NO WAYYYY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YALLL

kyleshair literally my parents omg

timosbirthmark tbh it's good they waited a while to actually date, people be so quick to jump into relationships LMAOO

rachelzegler our double dates are some of my favorite memories

y/n same we gotta do it again

mariastory timothee and josh being friends omg

liked by y/n, zendaya, madisonbeer and 3,827,727

tchalamet thank you once again GQ. i think i'm much more mature this time around. and thank you for getting me the love of my life with the 2020 issue, I am eternally grateful.

view all 432,226 comments

y/n oh my 😍

tchalamet liked

laurieslaurence YOU ATEEEE the lil part about y/n and how much she's helped shape you 🥺🥺🫶🫶

atreideskyle i ❤️ my boyfriend

zendaya OKAYYYYY

willyswonka he seems like such a good boyfriend to y/n

florencepugh so proud of you!!!

charliestimo the comparison to the 2020 and this one 🥺🥺 he's already grown so much 😭💔💔

ayoedebiri 🫶🫶

liked by y/n, dovecameron, addisonraee and 4,282,727

tchalamet my love deserves a post of its own. when we're apart i count down the minutes until we can be together again. you make me the best possible version of myself and i thank you for it. you are the most beautiful person inside and out, and I'm so lucky to get to not only know you, but love you as well. i love you happy two years my pretty girl.

view all 233,287 comments

timosatreid "MY PRETTY GIRL" GOD WHEN 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

y/n you just had to outdo my caption huh.

tchalamet liked

addisonraee yall are too cute pls stop

sabsyn THE HAND PLACEMENT IN THE SECOND PIC WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE. HAND. PLACEMENT.

ynschals imagine how many pics they have of each other on their phones that we'll never see... 😖

yourfriend no other guy could make her as happy as you, timmy!

tchalamet and y/n liked

y/n idk if you know this but i love you

*

[11queensupreme11]

How would the yans react to Typhon simping on Percy? I know they would be horrified and so jealous 🤣

not just the yans, but almost every ror character would come to the collective agreement that they MUST put this girl on lockdown 😭😭😭😭

they gotta gatekeep the shit out of percy fucking jackson cuz HOWWWWWW the HELLLLLLLL did you accidentally rizz up TYPHON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

like it's one thing to have hundreds of demigod and mortal simps, BUT TYPHON??????? 😭😭😭😭😭

AND THE FACT THAT SHE ACCIDENTALLY WOKE HIM UP AND FREED HIM TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE GIRL 💀💀

she needs to be stopped lmaooooo

ALSO I FOUND A FANFIC OF TYPHON SIMPING OVER PERCY, PLS READ IT ITS ON AO3 AND IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS: (here)

[sixeyesonathiel]

Why u gotta do Gojou like he some kinda uwu glitter twink 24/7 im boutta LOSE IT 😤😤 this aint makin NO sense, like frfr how u turn him into a kissy kissy wifey huggy boi a he legit NOT LIKE THAT in the anime OR manga????? U out here writin him like he a softie crybaby simp who hold hands every 2 seconds and cryin over sparkly love letters like WHAT THE HELL 😭😭 He aint no fluffy cupcake boyfriend vibin with heart emojis and gigglin like a damn schoolgirl, STOP IT 💀💀💀 U fake fan fr, bet u only read fics and never even touch the manga, i read ALL 263 chapters TWICE and i KNOW Gojou aint out here actin like a lovesick puppy dog chasin his wifey for cuddles 🙄 He a BADASS SORCERER, he out here yeetin curses, not doin no “hehe baby let me braid ur hair” nonsense 😬😬U makin him sound like he got no trauma, no pain, no NOTHIN, just a sparkly shoujo prince who live for forehead kisses and writin poetry in a flower field LMAOOOOO 🤣🤣 U ever even WATCH jujutsu kaisen or u just vibin with ur 12 reader x Gojou fanfics???? He dont smile like a damn anime girl, he dont giggle like he in a romcom, he dont LOVE WIFE like u keep sayin, he too busy bein THE STRONGEST, not holdin hands in public 😩😩 U out here ruinin the fandom with this fluffy sparkle bs, Gojou aint got time for ur "uwu lemme love u forever" headcanons, he fightin curses not fightin for a date night at starbucks 😬😬stop make him blush like a shy e-boy, like BRO HE THE GOJOU SATORU, he aint blushin, he aint stutterin, he aint writin love notes in glitter gel pen 😤😤 U turnin him into a wattpad y/n fantasy and it so cringe i cant even, my eyes bleedin from this 😭 Fix ur headcanon NOW or the fandom gonna riot, we TIRED of this softboi gojou propaganda, he aint no cuddlebug, he aint no "baby plz hold me" vibe, he SLAYIN curses and lookin cool doin it, not doin kissy wissy in the grocery 😬😬 U prob think he wear pink frilly aprons and bake cookies for his wifey too huh?? SMH get a GRIP, u fake fan, go rewatch the anime, read manga and stop disgracin Gojou’s name 😡😡😡

WHO LET THEIR EDGY TEENAGE SON ONTO TUMBLR?? 😭😭

you read 263 chapters twice and not once did you stop to consider that he might want to be loved gently? that maybe, just maybe, the strongest sorcerer is tired and wants his hair braided while someone makes him tea and calls him baby??? you didn’t see the vision and that’s okay. not everyone’s ready.

anyway i'm gonna keep writing him kissy and clingy and in a pink frilly apron with a “kiss the chef” towel tucked into his waistband. not because it’s canon—but because domesticity and softness is what he deserves.

now go back to playing roblox and leave the softboy satoru propaganda to the adults 🤗🌹

[jazeswhbhaven]

Demon Butler Buffet, Enjoy your stay | April Fools' Event 2025 | React/Recap Spoilers Part 2

Screenshots only this time for this post! If you want to go over the summary check it out here:

🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🖤🤍

The old man is done with these games lmaooo

Idk but my hunch that Asmo is quite keen on Belphie is starting to look correct because of how buddy buddy he's been with him this entire time

Ofc he did, because even the merch has the kings on it. I bet he sets the prices for WHB indirectly too if we're being honest /hj💀

You tell 'em Lizzy! Man I would get so annoyed at coworkers like this who had no other reason to be late other than they felt like it when I was dealing with a crowd or people or waiting to clock out and go home for the day...

They knew what was up the minute Lizzy showed concern for Jihoon getting his shit rocked by Satan (nah srsly don't touch him without permission unless you're MC)

Okay, I'll be ready. And I'll do it again, trust.

He said something sensible, and he's being cute. Look at hims.

MAMM'S NIP IS OUT.

🎵lemme suck your titties bby...ooooooo whoaaaaaaaa🎵

No frfr, he was lookin' thicccccc (all of 'em were) I also like seeing his hair this way because it gives me a better visual of what his ponytail looks like, also have y'all noticed his horn shape changes?

Ah, I was wondering where his wings were. Seems they fit under the fabric easily in the suit but with how they usually look I can tell why they would bother him...the bone is still pokin' out 😭

Sorry for the jumpscare with Beel's pale arm, but him thinking the talismans worn off and everyone was dying is so him. Asmo was like "nah they're just fainting that's normal" is also funny

Oh boy, at least they did o k a y. I would be satisfied by their butler roles 😭 but Levi in that maid outfit? the fave poster boy foreallssss

I hate that he's correct, because I actually cannot buy a realistic experience with me hanging out with the Kings for an entire day just doing random stuff and being flirty.... p a i n (yes cosplayers exist but they are real people 😭😔 it's not the same to me)

Well...yeah Asmo we know why you'd find that exciting...

Oh, well this looks like it could be Beel's true form? The color of the eye and the VIVIVI floating around??? But either way....lol they got some crazy things on their camera

Nice save, Luci <3 we would be lost without you

idk he just looks really good in this fit and tail included

Luci meant that shit, which is why Asmo just kinda nervously laughed. Even he...knows better than to play with a former angel.

Ah so that's what his side effect was...unable to count money 🥴🥴

Nuh uh, what you doin' Jihoon? 🤨🤨🤨

All I'm thinking about is taking a trip to Paris with Luci and Levi while they're in those outfits...especially after being recused from some whack dude

He was crying because the Kings were giving Lizzy things to sell and we're just suppose to "ignore that" lmaooooo

Happy Lizzy is happy <3 she can pay off a lot of things now! (Wish I were there working with them then cause shit I need some things...)

Girls trip!!! *beep beeepppppp* ( •̀ ω •́ )✧o(*^＠^*)o

literally them rn with their photos of their kings in the outfits lmao I found it hilarious that Beleth wasn't really phased and it makes me wonder if Belphie does shit like this all the time because he's an Otaku so cosplaying is literally something to expect (and because he probably has to help him change into it)

Also what I found funny is that the nobles also were talked about on Earth's social media as the "hot cosplay group" and I'm just like awh they were popular too. Which I mean they would be popular anywhere. All the while Bael is cussing out Beel in hopes to drag him back to Abyssos but I guess that ain't gonna happen

Not when we have.....the butt contest underway.....👀👀👀👀

Which concludes my react! See y'all for the second part of the event...I can tell this shit is gonna be unserious because the kings...are unserious.

[merlucide]

The matchmaker has found a match……

@thebestsetter your match is….

ISAGI YOICHI!

x kindhearted, fun, exciting, attentive, vb player, fem!reader

RAAAAAAAAGGHHH

OKAY, NOW HEAR ME OUT BOO.

Yes, he’s basic, yes he’s bland

but

BUT, he’s caring, responsible, competitive and a silly lil guy!!

Idk what trope but either Mutual Feelings or Childhood friends :3

tbh I think you’d like be like his ideal type too??

anywho-

You’d be like doing your own thing and he’d just stare at you a think ‘She’s so pretty..’

and then he realized ‘oh no, I like her!!’

He would find every excuse to be around you, oh you need someone to help you carry for science project? Well what do you know! Isagi is already picking it up!

Need some one to spike? Isagi is literally Hinata wym (his spikes are awful, but you teach him how to do it and then becomes decently good actually!)

He confesses on accident lmao

He had finally, FINALLY, mustered the courage to ask you out!!! After literal YEARS of pining after you. 💀

He was supposed to tell you to meet him at the fair, because he had something he wanted to tell you (confess) but instead of

’Hey- We are still good for the fair right? I have something I wanna tell you there :-)”

he said..

”I’m gonna ask you out at the fair- you’re coming still right?”

sigh, Isagi, Isagi, Isagi

and you are just like ‘??? Did I hear that right??”

and it takes him a second to realize what the flip he just said

he just turns all red and is stuttering out incoherent nonsense

he wanted to die so bad

and you’re also like terribly flustered and caught off guard by the sudden confession

You had a feeling he liked you, but you weren’t sure if he really did feel the same!!

you just awkwardly-nervously tell him you feel the same and answer his original question with a soft ‘yes’

and he’s just like ?!?!??

i’m sensing a theme here..

He actually, genuinely, CANNOT believe YOU like him

like WHAT. This pretty, smart, funny, amazing, perfect, girl- actually likes me?!?

‘..so like …. Um … are we like… dating .. now ?’ is all he says

Real smooth Isagi, real smooth 😐

You then ask if this fair is a date now

which he’s like ‘I guess it is’

You both do the awkward goodbye and he goes straight to the boys bathroom and splash’s water on his face

He was genuinely tweaking

And that’s how you two became a couple! :3

The fair date was really fun, but super awkward bc, Isagi 🙂‍↕️

He tried winning you those big stuffed animals, and failed miserably 💀

He really wanted to get it for you too— then you ask if you can try it

You win on the first try.

hes just like ‘🧍‍♀️’

super embarrassed lmaooooo- but super impressed

Also he like… wants to hold you hand… but is like overthinking it so bad

‘Is it too soon??’ ‘Yeah it’s too soon’ ‘Would she even like holding my hand??’ ‘No she wouldn’t’ —-

Doesnt end up holding your hand 😔

You both end your first date on the ferris wheel

You both just chat about wtv, and that you didn’t think he’d like you

and he’s like ‘WHAT’

After he walks you home he immediately changes your contact name “Y/N-san” to “my girlfriend y/n💙”

Now! General HCs! :3

Isagi is such a good hype man ong, like you’re not feeling your best? Well Isagi is gonna make you feel like a thousand bucks!!

He thinks you’re the most perfect person to exist and cannot fathom you thinking you’re anything else but that

super sweet when comforting too, he’ll either hold your hand, hold your shoulders, or actually hold you when he comforts you.

Btw he gets super pumped up at your vb games, he’s like wearing your school/jersey colors and cheering for you in the bleachers

At first he didn’t really understand how the game worked, since the only sport that exists to him is soccer 💀

Really likes playing volleyball with you! He’s really good at digging and passing and so-so at spiking. He’s STUNNING at setting, because of yours truly 😚 like yes, I taught him that 🥹

hes got a mean serve though 😋

Now!

for the affectionate scale! Id say he’s about a 8/10 tbh

Hes like a clingy cat who always wants to lay on your lap lmao

always holding your hand, ALWAYS.

is a sucker for cheek kisses omg ><

He gets all blushy-n-gushy when you kiss his cheeks (anywhere really, but cheek kisses are his fav!!)

He gets soooo flustered when you give him affection or he gives you affection

eventually he gets used to it but he still blushes when you give him some love <33

He loves the simple hugs :) He loves squishing his cheek against you shoulder/neck and rub circles around you waist, while you massage his neck and blue locks (haha pun intended ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °) )

Loves laying on your thighs obviously 😌 loves anything with your thighs tbh

His ideal date is probably going to see a movie or just walking around wherever and getting dinner 🙃

He will literally do whatever you want — so just tell him whatchu wanna do and he’ll be on board!!

Really appreciates it when you come to his games <33 it makes him feel so loved and valued <33

also feeds his ego 💀 in his mind he’s like ‘haha yeah, my gf came to my game, these losers don’t even have a gf 😌’

super cheesy btw- but it’s like the best kind of cheesy

Brings you pretty roses :) and likes to buy you keychains whenever he finds one he thinks you’ll like

love any gift you wanna give him, but really melts at the heartfelt ones

help I really yapped on this one 😭

anywho I think you guys would be real cute :)

I ship fr fr😽

hope you like it! 😭💗

(also did see your inbox question but by the time I got it I was literally done with the HCs 😭😭 …. HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT??)

runner ups!

Kuroo Tetsuro

Karasu Tabito

Bokuto Kotaro (HEAR ME OUT..)

[arcaneloverxx]

pls more gamer ellie headcanons i beg🙏

Streamer!Ellie Headcanons Pt.2

a/n: Ask and you shall receive! Had fun writing this, hope it came out to your liking and enjoy <3!!

streamer!ellie who has a pretty clean set up, surprisingly. She decided to do a little room tour for her chat and they were very surprised to see how well put and vibey her room was.

streamer!ellie who curses TOO MUCH for her own good. It gets to the point were Joel has to threaten to take aways her whole set up if she doesn’t cut it out.

streamer!ellie who is in a low-key relationship. Well, it was, until she kept forgetting to put some certain items away before her stream.

“Woahhh, okay chat calm down or my monitor is gonna crash…again. What are y’all even talkin bout?” Ellie says as she reads over the hundreds of comments filling her chat.

stargirl69: I KNOW YOU FUCKING LYINNNN!!! 

user20683: ELLIE?!?! What is that in the back????😂

hughanus: Bro is that a fucking strap LMAOOO😭😭

hoesluvdina: Um els…you got a lil something behind you😟

“The fuck?“ Ellie mumbled in confusion while turning to look behind her. And there sitting behind her on her bedside table, was a strap that you bought her a few months ago when you guys wanted to experiment more in your relationship.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

streamer!ellie who was mortified and furiously apologized to her chat. Even though there were some comments that made her want to spit out a few remarks of her own.

abbywashere: Bro there is no way this girl can pull

lazysusan<3: So your telling me that today is that day I find out that my wife is taken

hottestmilf9: GAH DAMN, the SIZE of that thing. Is that girl okay??

streamer!ellie who has the WORST wifi quality. It’s honestly a miracle that you can even see her clearly when she streams. And not to mention all the times her screen would freeze while she’s talking and when it comes back in, she's gone (She went to the bathroom).

streamer!ellie who has serious gamer rage. One time after losing a game against Jesse and Dina, the girl chucked her headset across the room, only to come back with them broken and dangling by the wires.

sonotjesse: Ho…is you cool??🤨

user28897: Ellie, we’ve talked about this😭🤦🏾‍♀️

biilybenson17: And this is why people can’t have nice things

streamer!ellie who finally slipped about your guys relationship. And instead of her fans being crazy lunatics over it, they were actually really supportive over the news.

erenyeagerwife: AWWWW I KNEW ITTTT😻

abbywashere: AGAIN, there is NO WAYYYY this girl can pull

britkneespears: You need to bring her on stream plssss

streamer!ellie who freaked the fuck out when one of her subscribers found Joel’s socials and sent him a link to her stream.

“Okay guys so my girlfriend told me about this game, but I didn’t know they got naked and shit on here. Finna see some tittiessss!” Ellie said while leaning in close to see her monitor and read some of the chats.

simpforellie: AYEEE JOEL HAS ENTERED THE CHAT!🥳

user6969: Umm Ellie, I think your dad is on here…

biglesbo: LMAOOOOO NOT HER DAD JOINING💀💀

“The fuck y’all talking about??” And Ellie was just praying that her chat was trolling her about Joel joining her stream, because there was no fucking way. Until she saw the most recent comment.

joelmiller67: Hey kid, that game is a little inappropriate for your to be playing, especially in front of others, don’t you think?

joelmiller67: And I also washed your hello kitty pjs like you asked. Their in the dryer, love ya kid.

“JOEL PLEASE GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” Ellie screamed with her face burning with embarrassment. Let’s just say the chat had a field day with what just occurred.

streamer!ellie who spams you with cat memes that she swears is funny, and decides show them to her chat.

“Chat look at these hilarious cat memes. My girlfriend swears they’re lame. What y’all think?”

yourlefttit: Ellie…I think its time for bed

abbywashere: ...remind me how you pull again

user69023: LAME ASS BOIIII

yeagerist: This bitch think she’s funny

hoesluvdina: ELLIE TS LAME ASF🤣🤣

“You know wha- SHUT THE FUCK UP DINA!”

note: Sorry that I've been kinda MIA, but I'm feeling much better. I'll try to write more and have it posted asap. Love you guys<3!!

[pinkrasberryfish]

Imagine being alone for five centuries and then you meet this girl who is so self-assured and sweet and she wants to bake for you and listen to you and she needs your help carrying heavy bags of soil and likes to share her ideas for her gardens with you until 2 in the morning. She seems to be the only one who notices when you're late to dinner and has a secret wit that no one else has even tried to know. She's the opposite of war and dungeons and torture and everything you've been forced to acclimate to and unlike your other flirtations, she seems to reciprocate your feelings.

And then imagine that you're told to stay away from her.

How mad would you be? lmaooooo 💀💀💀

[luversgirl]

MY OBX REC LIST, part five

( ☾ = angst, ☆ = head-canon, ❀ = fluff, ✧ = smut )

rafe cameron

— five minutes ✧ ( i- )

— need you ☾ ❀

— promises ✧ ( omfg 💀 )

— dating rafe cameron should include ☆ ❀

— silent love ( literally such a amazing series )

— don’t make a sound ✧

— the pogue and the kook ☾ ❀

— best friends little sister ✧

— midsummer’s ❀ ( this is disgusting GIVE IT TO ME NOW )

— frenemies ☾ ✧

— new light blurb: next to you ❀ ( this is so cuteeeee )

— love is a dangerous game ☾ ✧ ( THE ANGST OMFG )

— forbidden ( series )

— good luck charm ❀ ( awwww )

— naughty ✧ ( i want y/n the fawk me wtf )

— hard to love you ☾

— limousine ✧ ( the driver 👁👄👁 )

— and yet…❀

— love at sea ☾ ❀

— can’t sleep ❀

— glory and gore ✧ ( poor jj lmaooooo )

— ambivalence blurb: phases ☾ ❀ ( give me this in life rn )

— unexpected valentine ❀ ( SO MF CUTE )

— night swim ✧

— protecter ☾ ❀ (top tier work, like literally weekly reread)

jj maybank

— i will leave ☾ ( THIS!!! part 2, part 3… etc )

— strawberry ❀ ( living for this )

— scary love ☾ ❀

— mine ❀

— promise ☾ ( oh my fawking god )

— take it slow ✧

— messed up ☾ ❀

— pretty girl ❀ ☾

— for me ❀ ☾ ( someone gimme a jj rn )

— princess ❀

— sweet and salty ✧

— jumped ❀ ☾

— wrestle ✧ ☾ ( oh my lordddddddd )

— nightmares ❀ ☾

— can’t kill a pogue ☾

— underdressed ✧

— i got you ☾

— meet me at our spot ❀ ☾ ( absolutely love this )

— enough for you ☾ ( sobbing )

sarah cameron

— exposed ✧

— lifeguard ☾ ❀ ( why not meeeeeee )

— call rafe ❀

— watermelon sugar ✧ ❀

— welcome home ❀

— kook princess ✧ ( lawd, part two, LAWD )

— the little things ❀

— don’t make me over ❀

pope heyward

— rose water and bubbles ✧

— this ❀ ( idk the name but i LUV IT )

— charm bracelets ❀

— full kook ☾ ❀

— noisy neighbours ❀ ( GIVE ME THIS IN LIFE RN )

— stick shift ❀

— tutor ❀ ☾ ( this is so cuteeeeeee )

barry

— art of seduction ✧

— issues ( ik this is a rafe fic but my blueberry is there so here )

— watch you’re mouth country club ☾ ❀

— softie ❀ ( awwwwww )

— responsibility ❀

john b

— let it snow ❀

— truth or dare ✧

— sticky notes ❀ ( jarah )

— i love you ❀ ( awwww )

— you and me against the world ❀

— always ☾ ❀

— knuckle kiss ❀

— 3 am ❀ ( I CANT ITS SO 😩 )

— pogue bonfire ☾ ❀ ( why not me god? )

— lazy river ❀

— i love you ❀

kiara carrera

— fuck up the friendship ✧ ( it’s kiesarah but it’s so good )

— take care of my girl ❀

— this omfg ✧ ( the title is long for here lol )

— nsfw alphabet ✧

— facades ✧ ( LAWD )

— enough ☾ ❀

— this concept ✧ ( l- l- lord )

[shaunamilfman]

Ben didn’t leave Shauna to die during labor? what could he possibly have to offer, assistance/support wise that the other girls weren’t already providing? that kinda responsibility shouldn’t be Ben’s just because he’s an adult, he literally didn’t know how to help, is missing a leg and depressed as hell. I mean the guy tried to kill himself not too long after!

Ben would have been useless in that scenario, for Shauna moral support would have been best from Tai and medical from Misty, shit even medical from Misty is a stretch. None of them especially Ben are doctors, midwives or fucking doulas?

I love Shauna but y’all need to accept the fact that she’s definitely not in the right here 💀 I understand why she’s angry and thinks it’s him but pinning any sort of blame on Ben is crazy to me

what’s that one post? “just pick your favorite war criminal and go with it”

coming onto a lesbians blog to defend a man is crazy fucking work im ngl lmaooooo. y'all acting like i have like in depth theories and shit i write shauna thirst fics half the timeeeeeeee.

he literally goes "i just pressed play on a video" and bounces. ben himself apologizes for it and admits he's deadass wrong. idk why you're excusing it.

but also. that responsibility is his just because he's an adult. lowkey a crazy take and i'm assuming you're like 18 bro because whatttttt. it's straight up irresponsible to think otherwise honestly.

an adult is always the responsible party if your in a group like that. if i was in a group of like majority like minors or like barely adults (the seniors) of course it would be my responsibility to take care of it if they got so much as a paper cut. that's literally what adults do? you're told your whole life to ask an adult for help and Ben couldn't be assed of course they're terrified and shauna especially is abandoned to something extremely traumatic.

also the funniest part to me.

when you come on a blog with the title shauna defender and are surprised to see me defending shauna lmaoo.

i'm just a girl anon have you considered that?

[mai-hatsume]

bkdk fanfics are genuinely so unserious sometimes I can't breathe 💀💀💀💀💀

I'm reading one rn and I'm in like chap 3 or 4 and they hate each other but they've been forced to hangout so they're starting to hate each other less but atp they still hate each other

katsuki yells at izuku and tells him to stfu and smtn like don't pmo I don't want to fight and izuku was like omg he doesn't want to fight maybe our relationship is improving😭😭😭😭 Im literally crying lmaooooo

izuku said I'll take literal crumbs lmaoo

it reminded me of this one part from the game crimson snow where the guy sent this girl a letter to break up w her and he said smtn like I love you but I can't do this anymore or smtn and she underlined the I love you and she wrote in like red pen he loves me!!

this is a link to the gameplay time stamp 52 Mins 18 seconds

[moonspirit]

Since we’ve been talking about ambassadors on edibles, I’ll use my knowledge to portray each of them while on mars XD

-Annie: girl goes catatonic and you can’t convince me otherwise. She just sits on the couch staring into the void with a frown and occasionally registering some conversations around, not participating tho.

-armin: a giggling mess. Every words is funny, so funny that when the joke’s over he forgets to loosen the smile and close his mouth. “You’re friggin bald Connie heheee”. At some point he throws up.

-Connie: existential bliss. “Man…we’re having such a good time, like, I’m so baked bro…like…i could go watch the stars and fall asleep there cause it’s so paceful…man hand a brownie over cmon”

-Reiner: existential awareness. Man would realize he lives in a society. In such confusional state, he would find out that he exists. Paradoxical, I know. But he’s free from the thoughts. He’s free from the anxiety. Behind those eyes, realization: he loves these people that are with him. No other thoughts than peace and love.

-Jean: no thoughts behind those eyes. Bro is convinced he lives in a simulation so he doesn’t fight it, rides the wave. Sometimes tries to get up and do something, but he only stumbles around until he’s forced to sit back down.

-pieck: falls asleep five minutes in. Has the time of her life

I could do the whole cast istg they’re too funny😭

Omg Lmaooooo xD These are all so funny asksaashfaf xD

I snorted at Reiner's xD

Man would realize he lives in a society. In such confusional state, he would find out that he exists.

If that isn't accurate!!! What a good change from the anxiety over not wanting to exist. 💀💀

Also I'm positive Pieck conducts Santa Claus style-deliveries on reindeer powered sleigh over the Arctic Circle in her sleep. Well that, and a bank robbery.