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xcaptain-winterx · 10 months

Note

Hiii I saw that your requests are open. Can I request a drabble or oneshot of LJ’s first birthday? Thank youuu also I love your writing 🫶🏼

Superstar

dad!Lloyd Hansen x sunshine

summary: LJ’s first birthday

warnings: fluff, slight suggestive stuff, poop, tears, Lloyd, baby

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.

Main Masterlist Daddy Sociopath Masterlist

“Ouch” Lloyd says, pulling his hand to his chest, looking at the spatula in your hand “that hurt”.

You roll your eyes at him with a smirk before continuing making the cake, “I told you that you can’t eat the cake batter”. Lloyd huffs and sits down on the counter opposite from you. He watches you stirring the pot while swinging his legs.

A pout forms on his lips “But why? You already made two cakes, Sunshine. Can I just have a little taste, please?”. You slightly turn your head to see Lloyd giving you his best puppy dog look, trying to convince you to give him some.

“Lloyd, you will get to eat some cake later. Not now. Also, eating raw cake batter is not good for you” you say as you pour the batter in the cake form.

A groan leaves Lloyd’s mouth, and he dramatically lets his upper body lay down on the counter. He just wants some cake. Normally, he only gets that dramatic when he doesn’t get a taste of you.

“We used to eat raw cake batter all the time at Harvard. Why can’t we now? That’s not fair” he says, jumping down from the counter. “I even promise to not smear some on your face”. Some hope is still in Lloyd that you give in.

At that you chuckle, “Sorry, Moonlight, but I don’t want to risk you getting sick or that something goes wrong with the cake”.

“Oh, come on” Lloyd says, opening the oven for you to put the cake in. “The other two cakes turned out good. A bit of missing batter wouldn’t have ruined the cake”. He closes the oven after you put it in before wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you back into his chest. You giggle when his mustache tickles the weak spot on your neck. He starts to sway from foot to foot with you in his arms. You lean your head back on his chest and close your eyes.

A smile plasters on Lloyd’s face. “Don’t worry” he begins, “everything is going to be perfect”. He places a soft kiss against your temple.

You give him a quiet sound of acknowledgment. “Everything has to be perfect”. If this day doesn’t go as planned, you could never forgive yourself for messing up. If someone else ruins this day, you will kill them. It’s not every day that your baby turns one.

It’s LJ’s first birthday, and you have been planning this day for a long time. You spend months deciding what theme it’s going to be, what cakes should be served, who will be there, the presents and more. You spend a month alone looking for the best five stars bakers to make cakes for that day. Lloyd thinks he has never seen you this mad when the baker you chosen said he didn’t have time that day. He may or may have not threatened to cut his balls off and make cake pops with them if he didn’t bake that cake.

Best husband.

The smile on your face when Lloyd told you that the baker just mixed up the dates and actually has time was something beyond happy.

Therefore Lloyd is that confused and mad that he can’t have some cake. So far you baked three cakes and more cake will be here shortly. He needs some sugar.

While you were spending months planning this birthday, Lloyd just stood next to you, letting you be in your fixation. For once, he didn’t get why you were making such a big deal. LJ was only 3 months old at the time, but perhaps it was also because he was scared to tell you to calm down. Obviously, he knows that the first birthday is somehow special, but overall it’s just a birthday. This doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t have made all of his staff decorate the whole place and spend thousand and million dollars on his son’s birthday presents. Lloyd just wouldn’t be that stressed about that day.

He would still kill anyone that dares to ruin this day.

The more the relationship with his son grew, the more he realized LJ deserves everything in this world and there is nothing he won’t do to make that possible. If one of the staff or his minions makes LJ cry, they can prepare to get their organs taken out and limbs cut off.

Lloyd is trying really hard to be dad of the year.

While he is trying to be dad of the year, he knows that mom of the year already goes to you. The title already belonged to you before LJ was even born.

A staff ruins Lloyd’s and yours moment as they walk in and inform you that the cakes are here. Lloyd groans again as you jump out of his arms and make your way to the kitchen on the first floor. He sends the staff a glare, making them almost piss themselves before following you.

When he comes downstairs, he already sees people bringing in cakes and decorating the place.

“Put those fucking balloons over there, shithead!” Lloyd screams as they hang some balloons near the food table. They quickly scramble around, moving the balloons. “Fucking idiots”.

Lloyd snatches a strawberry from the fruit table and pops it into his mouth, while taking in the scene. If Lloyd didn’t know what was going on, he would think the apocalypse was about to start. He’s almost 100% sure that you made them get all panicked by pressuring them. Though it could also be his heavily armed men standing at each window that are making them that nervous. Lloyd shrugs his shoulders. As long as they do their job it doesn’t concern him if they are close to passing out.

“Lloyd!”

He jumps up from where he is standing and jocks in your direction. You are standing in front of a table with furrowed brows.

“Yes, sunshine” he says, standing next to you, hands behind his back, “what’s the matter? Who do I need to kill?”. Lloyd leans over your shoulder, nose brushing over your cheek as he inhales your smell.

“Do you like the gold or silver stars more?” you say, not acknowledging his action. Lloyd rests his head on your shoulder before moving closer to the table. “The silver stars fits the blue aesthetic more and are more simple, but the problem is that simple is boring. The gold stars are more shiny and bring in a specific ‘wow’ effect, but they don’t match the aesthetic”.

One thing Lloyd will never get tired of is your look for the details. You could paint a portrait of him and won’t show him till you have every single freckle, beauty mark, hair, small scar on the canvas. Though, you don’t have to paint every single wrinkle.

“I like the gold ones. They scream more Hansen” Lloyd says with a cocky smirk.

You look at his choice before nodding and calling over the staff to hang the gold stars up. “If it weren’t for LJs birthday decoration, I would say your ego is showing again” you say, pointing to the staff in which places they should hang them up. Lloyd’s gasp jokingly and places his hand on his chest.

“Sunshine, that’s mean”

“It’s the truth, Moonlight” you say, “your ego is as big as your dick”. A gasp leaves your mouth as Lloyd suddenly grabs you and pulls you into his chest hard, not budging even as you try to get out of his right embrace.

“No no no, Mrs Hansen” he tuts with a low voice, “You know you can’t just talk about my big boy without any action”. Lloyd’s one hand moves to your ass and gives it a good squeeze, while his other hand takes your hand and brings it towards his covered member. “Sunshine”.

In quick motion Lloyd’s Hand on your ass moves to the back of your head and pulls you forward. Your second gasp gets muffled by his lips smacking against yours, teeth clashing together. Lloyd is full on making out with you, not caring about others watching you two. They can watch all they want. Lloyd couldn’t give a fuck less, as long as you’re not naked. He loves touching you in front of others, showing everyone that you belong to him and ONLY him. You’re his and his alone. You belong to him.

Lloyd walks forward, caging you in between the table and him. A simply move of Lloyd’s arm and you are sitting on the table with him between your legs. He grabs your legs and pulls you closer. Out of instinct, you wrap your legs around his waist.

It seems like Lloyd finally gets some attention from you.

Until both of your phones vibrate at the same time. You pull away from the kiss and Lloyd chases your lips, not being finished with the kiss. He needs another taste of your soft lips and peach flavored chapstick. Sadly though, he only gets to touch your finger, which you stopped him from kissing you again, while you pull out your phone and look at it. You open your phone and see that LJ woke up. Both you and Lloyd can check the cameras and will always get a notification when LJ starts to wake up.

“Looks like the Birthday boy is awake” you say and pat Lloyd’s shoulder as you stand up, giving Lloyd a little peck on the lips before he can grumble again. “You coming, daddy?”.

He smiles at the peck and you calling him that “Stop teasing me that much, Sunshine” Lloyd says tilting his head. He watches you giving him a sunny smile, feeling the warmth of your happiness consume him. Lloyd walks over to you and takes your hand in his one, interlocking your pinkies and kissing it. “Let’s wake up our boy” he says before walking with you upstairs to LJ’s nursery.

A big smile greats you as you open the door, two chubby fingers pointing at you two.

“Maaaaa” LJ says, giving a lopsided grin.

You feel Lloyd roll his eyes before moving towards his son. “Well good morning to you too, superstar” he says. He keeps on telling himself that LJ will eventually learn to say Dada, Dad, Daddy, Papa, hell, he would even be ok with LJ calling him Pops.

LJ raises his arms as his dad comes closer. Lloyd picks him up and tickles his little belly, resulting in LJ letting out high giggles and squeals.

“Happy Birthday, bubba!” you say, kissing his cheek. Lloyd smiles and gives him to you as LJ reaches for you. Ones in your arms, LJ immediately snuggles into the crock of your neck. Such a mama boy.

“You are already one now! Only six more years and I can legally show you how to shoot” Lloyd says cheerfully, but quickly shutting up when you send him a death glare, “Of course only when Mama allows it”.

“Which she won’t”

“Yes, what Mama says is law” Lloyd says, “but legally it would be allowed-“

“Lloyd”

“Yeah, you’re right, no weapons”

You give him a satisfied nod and Lloyd you a thump up. We need to appreciate, though, that Lloyd would have waited till LJ was legally allowed to do that. For a sociopath who’s a hitman and more, who doesn’t go by the law, this is a big thing. For ones, he would have followed the law.

You look in LJ’s eyes, smiling brightly, “I promise you will have the best birthday ever. We have some shiny lights and cake. Oh, and we can’t forget your presents, superstar”. LJ already claps his hands and wiggles out of excitement after you said shiny. “First, we need to get you ready though”.

A soft smile decorates Lloyd’s face as he makes his way towards LJ’s closet.

A knock fills the room before the door opens and one of the staff pops their head in.

“I-I’m so sorry to interrupt, Mr. and Mrs. Hansen, but we just got notified that the flowers won’t get delivered because the driver is sick” the staff stutters out in one go without taking a breath. They know that Mr. and the Mrs. won’t be happy about that. And well, they are scared that Mr. or Mrs. Hansen will cut off their head and send it to the company that were supposed to deliver the plants.

“What!” you and Lloyd say at the exact same time.

You hush LJ as he whines due to the loud noise, gently swaying him. Lloyd, on the other hand, doesn’t show any calmness in that situation and strikes towards the staff, making them hunch together.

“What do you mean by that?! That fucker can’t bring the flowers because his pathetic ass had to sneeze and immediately came to the conclusion that he was dying?!” Lloyd says through grit teeth, “I will cut that limp dicks face off and sew it back on backwards, then he will have some problems with his nose!”

“He has 104 F-“

“Do I look like I give a single fuck that this dick chocking piece of shit is dying of a fever?! No! Why can’t they send someone else, huh?!”

“They only have one dr-“

“I’ll blow their fucking company up and every single family member of the employees if the flowers aren’t here in the next 10 minutes!” Lloyd screams.

“I-I tell them that, M-Mr. Hansen” they say before quickly walking out, asking themself why they work here.

Lloyd’s face is red like the fuckers blood he killed at 2am, before he went to bed only to be woken up by you three hours later. A small whine makes his face fall and turn around to see LJ with teary eyes. His face quickly cools down as he walks over to the two of you.

“Oh, I’m sorry, junior. Dada didn’t mean to be that loud” Lloyd says softly, rubbing LJ’s back. If there is one thing LJ is scared of the most or hates is loud noises. If Lloyd wasn’t that loud, LJ would have probably even laughed because he loves seeing his dad put people in their place, especially while swearing. He may be a mama boy, but with his father’s love for hating people.

As expected, LJ clings to you closer, hiding his face in your chest. Lloyd finally looks at you and knows that you aren’t happy.

“I thought we talked about the swearing, Moonlight” you say in a soft voice, looking at him with a disappointed expression. He knows you aren’t directly disappointed in him rather, just not exactly happy that he did it in front of LJ again. “You know you have to put something in the swear jar”.

Lloyd doesn’t know how much money he had already put in the swear jar since your pregnancy, but he swears a lot and only carries hundred-dollar bills with him. He would say he’s still under a million though…..barely. Though, this jar is only for when he swears in front of LJ.

“I know, I know, sunshine” he says and kisses your temple. “Though I know you would have done the same if LJ wasn’t here”, he gives you a knowing look.

“Oh, I would have definitely screamed like that” you say, nodding while continuing to calm your baby down.

“Don’t worry, I will take care of it, sunshine” Lloyd says.

“No, it’s fine. I will” you give him LJ, who slightly protests against leaving the warmth of mama, but some comforting words and kisses eventually convince him to let go and calm down. “Would you mind getting him ready for the day?” you ask, opening the door.

“Dressing up my beloved Hansen Junior like his dada? Can’t think of anything better” he says and sways a bit. “I mean except-“.

“Thank you, Lloyd” you say, cutting him off, knowing exactly what he wanted to add, “love you”.

“Love you too, my beloved sunshine” he says as you walk out of the room, blowing you a kiss. Lloyd watches you close the door before looking down at his son, who is still looking at the door. “Don’t worry, once you’re ready for the day we see Mama downstairs” Lloyd says, caressing LJ’s blond almost white hair.

“Mama” LJ says, pointing towards where you went, while looking at his dad.

“Soon” Lloyd answers, chuckling at his son’s pouting and gives him Mr Mustache from the crib, which LJ immediately takes. He walks with LJ in his arms towards the closet, filled with various of different baby clothes of LJ. Surprisingly, not everything in the closet are designer clothes, some of it are from what Lloyd likes to call ‘the degenerated section’. If it wasn’t for you, Lloyd would’ve burned those clothes by now. Not because they are ugly, Lloyd has to admit they are actually pretty cute, but because people who are way below his money income also dress their kids like that.

Among those designer and cheaper baby clothes, there is also handmade stuff like sweatshirts, pants, jackets, hats and more. All of them are well knitted and made out of colorful wool. The thing is that not you made those clothes, but Lloyd did. He took his time knitting for hours to make adorable stuff for LJ to wear. If someone ever asks Lloyd though, he would deny immediately. He would say that he never even touched a needle and that knitting is some grandma shit. People would probably believe him…as long as you don’t show them some photos to prove that Lloyd knits in his free time.

“Now, my little superstar, what are we going to wear today?” Lloyd asks, to which LJ just snuggles into his chest. “I think my clothes are a bit too big for you” he says chuckling. He looks through the closet and takes out a little fluffy sweatshirt.

“This looks cute” the grunt LJ gives is answer enough. “Yeah, you’re right, it’s be a bit to warm too wear a sweatshirt“ he says and puts it away, continuing his search.

Next, he takes a blue romper from the hanger. “What about this? It’s nice but a bit boring, don’t you think?” he says, raising a judging brow at the romper. LJ nods in agreement.

Lloyd continues and grabs a baby tuxedo that he got custom made to fit LJ perfectly a while ago. “Oh, doesn’t this look good? A fudging expensive suit that fits this mini Hansen perfectly. You will get all the ladies and whor- wonderful people with it” he says smugly, saving himself at the end of the sentence.

Mini Hansen looks at the tuxedo for a second, inspecting it with his big eyes. His eyebrows furrow a bit of concentration, which makes him look like you when you concentrate on a painting. Lloyd smiles at the similarity between you two. Even though the furrowing of the eyebrows is from you, the look in LJs eyes is fully Lloyd Hansen. The judgmental stare that makes you question your existence and everything else. It’s like LJ is giving the bitch look just with brows that give him a more innocent look, like he isn’t just thinking that you look like poop.

“Mhm, what do you say, junior?”

LJ shacks his head and scrunches his face, whining and clinging to his dad’s polo.

Lloyd gasps “not this one?! Look it may look uncomfortable, but it’s actually pretty comfy” he says to which his son begins to kick his feet and slap his chubby hands against his dad’s chest. Lloyd huffs, LJ for sure, is a picky and stubborn baby.

“No no no no, what did we say about hitting dada? You are not allowed to kick or slap him. LJ, look at me” Lloyd moves LJ in his arms to get him to look at him “are you listening to dada?”.

LJ’s lower lip begins to quiver and Lloyd sighs “Look, if you stop hitting dada I put that suit away, deal?”. His son looks at him like he grew another head before, pointing to the closet. “Yes, I get you something else to wear when you stop”.

He looks at his dad for another second and then nods and stops trashing in Lloyd’s arms. Lloyd smiles, happy that his son agreed. He hangs the tuxedo away and stares at the walk-in closet. There are a lot of options, but nothing that fits the occasion. It can’t be something to ‘normal’, but also not too fancy. Walking through the closet , he sees nothing that catches his eyes or what LJ would approve of.

Lloyd’s attention gets drawn back down to his son as he pulls on his polo and points to something. “This?” he asks and grabs what LJ pointed at. LJ pointed at a dark blue sleeveless romper that he knitted awhile ago. To be more specific, he knitted the romper, among other things, while he wasn’t allowed to sleep with you for two months. He had a lot of time for knitting and jerking off to the image of you on your knees in front of the mirror, back to his chest while he fucks into you hard and fast, forcing loud moans out of you.

He grabs the romper and smiles. “You like stuff dada makes” Lloyd says. LJ claps and smiles, happy that his dad is holding the right thing. “You should really act like that about me around Mama, you know?”

On his way outside the closet, Lloyd grabs a white polo onesie, bouncing his son in his arms. “Then let’s change this man’s diaper and hope you didn’t cause a natural disaster in there” he says as he lays LJ down and puts Mr Mustache to the side.

Lloyd says a quick prayer to god before starting to change LJ’s diaper, that he will not get attacked by a poop bomb.

Luckily it’s not that big of a natural disaster, just a tsunami.

“Perhaps we should change your meal plan”

“Don’t pout”

“Come on, junior. Don’t cry. Mr Mustache is right here”

“Don’t kick your legs!”

“Stop that, Lloyd Junior!”

“I have shit on my hand!”

“Ahhhh!”

“Don’t laugh, junior!”

“I’m gonna throw up”

After changing LJ’s diaper and quickly washing and sanitizing his hands in LJ’s bathroom, he comes back and begins to finally dress LJ.

With slight struggle, he manages to get LJ’s head through the onesie. LJ hates when his head has to go through that. Lloyd smiles as he sees his son’s scrunched-up face turns happy when he sees him again.

“Well hello there, junior” he says in a high voice and LJ gives him a lopsided smile. Luckily, LJ doesn’t struggle as Lloyd puts on his romper and white socks.

Lloyd picks LJ up and gives him Mr Mustache before making his way to LJ’s bathroom and sitting him down in front of the bathroom mirror, making him face the mirror. A protective hand is on LJs back to make sure he doesn’t fall back on accident.

“Let’s give you the final Hansen touch”. With his free hand, he takes a soft brush and begins brushing LJ’s few hairs.

LJ interrupts in loud giggles as his dad decides to show some of his dance moves while brushing the hair, singing Stayin’ Alive. The giggles turn into squeals as Lloyd brushes his mustache with the brush.

“Jealous, Junior?” Lloyd jokes and carefully brushes LJ’s upper lip, like he had a mustache too. This action makes LJ fart because of laughing so much.

Once done, Lloyd wipes LJ’s mouth, who covered himself in spit duo to his laughing and then picks him up and walks out of the room.

“Ready to celebrate your birthday, Superstar?”

LJ claps his hands and wiggles in excitement.

“Mama!”

Lloyd groans.

#chris evans #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #the gray man #dad!lloyd hansen #dad!lloyd x reader #lloyd hansen x sunshine #dad!lloyd x sunshine #dad!lloyd hansen x sunshine #daddy sociopath #daddy sociopath AU #xcaptain winterx

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spnfanficpond · 3 months

Text

New Member Spotlight - February 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

enteselene (twitter) - This new member is cool and mysterious, but probably does not have a son named Fergus. Probably.

@disenchantedhalo -

Other SM names? - ghoulsnhalos (Discord), morgawse_hp (Twitter), GhoulsnHalos (AO3)

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - Bandom

Looking for in the Pond? - Have a space to share ideas on fics, writing, editing. Help me make better use of social media to promote fics etc.

Pairings you read? - novel-length Destiel

Genres you read? - Pretty much anything except sports AUs and crack. Tropes: Enemies to Lovers; Two-person love triangle

Favorite writer(s)? - JuniperJones (AO3)

What do you like to write? - Mostly explicit alternate universe with a happy ending. Range of lengths. These days I pretty much stick to writing for Bangs.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Take Me Down

.@charliethealpaccaso -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord

OTP? - Not sure as I tend to hop around.

Other fandoms? - Furry Transformation

Looking for in the Pond? - Looking for new transformation fics and meet some new friends

Something to signal boost? - Mellowfello on furaffinity.net

Pairings you read? - Now I think about it I hop around to more ship tags

Genres you read? - Fluff, Crack, and a small bit of Angst

@ryladante -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord, Twitter, and AO3

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - Help to get my writing back on track, some ideas to get me writing again.

Pairings you read? - Destiel ftw, lol.

Genres you read? - Angst, Smut. Even if it has a sad ending, I'll read it. I like pain in my stories. Tropes? Enemies to lovers, roommates who fall in love

What do you like to write? - Angsty, dark and suspenseful. I like pain and drama in my stories.

Masterlist!

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I've never written Omega/Alpha stories. The idea intrigues me, but I wouldn't know where to start.

@dustlines - This new member is cool and mysterious and definitely was not seen breaking a seal to bring on the Apocalypse.

@deeranger -

Other SM names? - Deerangerfanart (Twitter), deerange (LJ), deeranger (Pillowfort)

OTP? - Sam/Dean and Wincest all the way

Looking for in the Pond? - Find new and interesting ppl and creations that tickle my fancy (I like dark and dead dove primarily) and I also hope to maybe find resources for my writing, maybe ppl to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Something to signal boost? - My (often NSFW) fanart is scattered all over, primarily it's on my Twitter though at @DeerangerFanart. Also, I have my carrd where you can find all my social media accounts.

Pairings you read? - Wincest or anything bottom!Sam, really. I have a weakness for noncon Samifer. 3rd person pov is my preferred pov and I mostly read m/m but f/m is okay too. And hey, so are tentacles! 😂

Genres you read? - Noncon, angst, dead dove, smut, pwp, dark and smutty stuff in general. I like "problematic" stuff.

Favorite writer(s)? - BlindSwandive, AnOddSock, hunter_king, CleverUsernameHere, TammyRenH

What do you like to write? - Dark and angsty ones, mostly noncon bottom!Sam... Usually my fics are pretty dead dove.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - "Nothing Hurts Like the Truth", a Jess/Sam dubcon fic

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I've never written a long fic. I'm currently trying though (at 74k as we speak) and I'd love some support and such on it and maybe advice if needed. I've never had the guts to try and write such a long fic. But now is the time! Also, I'd just like to get better at plotting out fics and such and get better at writing in general. That's my goal. Inspiration and practice!

@zepskies -

Other SM names? - Zepskies (Discord), Zeppelin_skies (AO3)

OTP? - Dean Winchester x Lisa Braeden

Other fandoms? - Actively writing for: The Boys, Big Sky, 10 Inch Hero, Smallville, Dark Angel

Looking for in the Pond? - A community of fellow writers/fandom enthusiasts. I like talking and sharing about the writing craft, mutual encouragement of ideas, just basically continuing what I've been doing on Tumblr.

Pairings you read? - Reader inserts, OC pairings

Genres you read? - Romance, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, comedy, drama. Favorite tropes: Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Meet Cute

Favorite writer(s)? - Ooh this is tough. I have many, but on Tumblr there's @waynes-multiverse, @deanwritings, @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior, @deanwinchesterswitch -- and many others that I follow and love their work.

What do you like to write? - Genre wise? Romance, fluff, smut, angst and hurt/comfort, soulmate AU and other AUs. I've also dabbled in A/B/O.

Masterlist! (AO3 Works list)

Most underappreciated fic? - Damned If I Do and Chico Malo

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Well, while I'm primarily a Dean girl, I've toyed with the idea of a Sam Winchester soulmate AU, or a Sam Winchester series (which I sort of have outlined). Maybe for the soulmate AU, some brainstorming prompts would be fun and helpful! <3

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester and @heavenssexiestangel!

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timedontgiveashit · 4 months

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Part 2 and 3 of the dead weather live masterpost! 🖤🖤🖤

The Dead Weather video masterpost part 2 (the deep cuts and other fun stuff mostly in bad quality) 1. The Dead Weather - Hustle and Cuss / New Pony - Don Hills - 8/4/2010 The whole Don Hills show is insane, here's a playlist from it watch every video, this is one of their best shows even if it's unhinged af. You can expect some best of Alison moments. She gets me every time when she ends a song laying on the stage. Bonus: Jack gets pissed and starts yelling at the crowd. I love that LJ just casually keeps playing and Dean tries to not laugh.

2. The Dead Weather - Treat Me Like Your Mother - Celebrate Brooklyn 08/03/2010 If I know it well it was their last show in the 2010 tour circle, one of their best next to the Don Hills one, search for every video from this show, this was the last song of the set. The energy is insane, "Stand up like a fuckin' man" is gold and the audience reacts properly. Also if you want to see Dean spit his guitar pick far while wilding on the keyboard this is your video. Bonus: he gives a hug to Alison in the end which is sweet.

3. The Dead Weather - Rolling In On A Burning Tire (live in Berlin) This is a rare treat, they've had this song as a soundtrack for Twilight, I don't think they played it live any other times. 4. The Dead Weather - Bone House (Live At First Ave) It’s rare again from 2010, Bone house just unexpectedly turned into Mile markers at 3:22. It's cool because 30 seconds of Mile markers was the hidden track on the Sea of Cowards album, later they finished the song and it landed on the Dodge and burn album. This is the only live version from it if we don't count the Dodge and burn promo video series.

5. Dead Weather, No Hassle Night/I just want to make love to you This is one of the hottest shit they've ever done on stage, Will there be enough water is one thing, but you know it hits differently when Jack straight up screams he just wants to make love to you. 6. The Dead Weather - Will there be enough water? - Brixton Academy, London - 29th October 2009 I don't think I have to explain the chemistry and Jack's mic drop + bonus from the end of the same show: Jack drags Alison off stage

7. This is an I can't hear you compilation: -Jack pushes Alison offstage -Dean forgets his part, and Jack gets a "guitar bj" lol -They are not kissing -Alison grabs Jack by the hair - I can't tell where her hand goes at some point, but Jack jumps down from the stage that's sure -One of the first live versions of this song -Early version again, Alison is climbing up to places 8. Will there be enough water compilation: -Jack is drunk -Jack tickles Alison lol -They are just cute in the end -The way she puts the mic in front of him -Best version on guitar with the slide ring -Let's sing into each other's mouth even if the mic is not in front of us -Not the usual video angle, if you ask me that's Jack's way to ask for a hug 9. You just can't win compilation - Jack is drunk again but it's funny -Jack is drunk and starts dancing -Jack is not drunk but "dances" with Alison 10. The Dead Weather - A Child of a Few Hours - Vic Theatre Chicago July 29 Just the usual Jack+Alison thing again This is not all, but I'm gonna stop here right now for the part 2, the list is endless, I hope you find some in these you haven't seen yet.

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magratpudifoot · 10 months

Text

I don't know how many LiveJournal alumni there are in these parts, but for those of you who weren't on LJ back in the early 2010s, there was a fairly large-scale art auction organized by users to benefit recovery and relief efforts after the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami and the resulting Fukushima disaster. People offered fic, digital art, origami pieces, yarn crafts, commissions, whatever they could, and then the highest bidder donated their bid to one of the organizations vetted by the auction organizers.

One of the pieces that I got from this auction was a watercolor painting of a landscape photo of my choice. If my recollection serves, the person I was communicating with was an LJ user from the UK, but the actual artist was their grandparent who was located in Germany.

I sent a photo that I had taken on the beach near where I lived on the gulf coast of Florida. The photo may have been taken with a digital camera, but it is just as likely I used a flip phone. Either way, it was not a professional shot, and it was not a great photo, but it was important to me.

What I received was stunning, and I worked closely with my mother to find the right mat board--a lovely metallic copper that plays perfectly with the lighting effects in the piece.

(Forgive my photography, which is even worse on this crappy tablet than it was on my flip phone 15 years ago.)

A year or so later, this painting went with me when I moved to central Oklahoma for my failed grad school experiment a year or so after it was painted. It hung in my kitchen above my sink in my crappy apartment, keeping me company while I washed dishes and put off writing seminar papers. It was my lifeline on the days when I was so desperate to be back home that I would get excited to hear what I thought was rain, only to look out the window and see it was just dry leaves blowing across sidewalk.

And now, a decade later, I find myself far from home again, this time not in pursuit of a dream of something better, but instead evading fascist state politicians. And my painting of a quiet, stormy, glittering, peaceful beach at sunset hangs across from my bed, one of the first things I see each morning, one of the last things I see each night.

I think about the sandpipers and the crabs and the freedom of swimming out and out and out until the bottom falls away, bobbing there with a friend or a parent or a cousin and having the most beautiful conversations.

I think about getting off work, rolling up my slacks past my knees, and walking along the water as long as I wanted, January waves crashing into my bare ankles.

I think about sitting just beyond where the waves meet the shore until the sand shifts to accept you and the quick little fish flick up to say hi and tickle your toes and sometimes bring rays and other friends if you are patient enough and the tourists aren't too rowdy and the locals aren't fishing too close.

And I think about an incredible elder artist who wanted to offer aid in a crisis half a world away, who painted a scene she probably never had reason to visit in person, who has never known how much impact it had.

I believe this signature says "Lola Fleddermann". I hope your life has been beautiful and full of joy and peace and incredible art. And I hope all the same for your grandchild, who I spoke to so briefly so many years ago on a long-disused blog in time that feels very little like today.

Thank you.

#no one asked you ms p

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itchy-twitchy-sneezes · 2 years

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hey so.

😩🤧😳❄️🌸❤️📝

for ej, jeff, lj or literally whoever u want go crazy i just haven’t heard ur thoughts in awhile

HECK YEA FIRST ASK THANKS SO MUCH ANON

ok imma do the ones listed + slendy bc i can :)

😩: Do they tend to sneeze just once or twice, or multiple times? Do they have fits frequently or rarely? Does how many times they sneeze depend on the cause?

ej - he usually sneezes in fits of 3 if it's just a random tickle. these can extend into fits of 5 or more if something's bothering him like a bad cold or allergies. sneezing just once is pretty rare but happens every now in then, leaving him confused for a moment as he waits for the rest of the sneezes

jeff - he'll only sneeze once or twice unless something is actually bothering his nose. he doesn't have frequent fits from being sick but he does have a few fits, usually going into 6 or 7 sneezes. his allergies or something touching his nose really sets him of, causing fits every minute or so even after the thing irritating him is gone

lj - fits are super common for him, especially during the colder months. cold air or gentle touches can make his nose so tickly and cause him to sneeze a bunch. it's even worse when he's sick or being exposed to something he's particularly sensitive to

slender - he usually only sneezes once or twice and doesn't really sneeze all that often. being sick can make him sneeze a few times throughout the day but no actual fits. he can be a bit sensitive, too much touching near where his nose would be can cause a short series of sneezes. if he does have a fit (usually in 4s or 5s), it's likely that something is bothering him such as an allergen or a strong scent and should be removed for the sake of everyone's ears

🤧: What does their sneeze sound like? (Description, spelling, or both!)

ej - his sneezes are very wet and it even seeps into the sound. they're pretty loud but you probably couldn't hear them if you were in the next room. ex; "hhHH-! GHTSHHZZEWW!!" they are a bit quieter if he stifles but this can backfire into more sneezes and a lot of discomfort. ex; "HiIHh-! HAH-ggshnXTT!!"

jeff - his nose is a little messed up, causing him to have a bit of a natural stifle. he sometimes tries to stifle them further, it mainly makes the shorter. ex (regular); "hUH-! hh'GNttxX!" ex (stifled); "HaH-! iH'gMPH-!"

lj - his nose sort of honks when he sneezes in addition to the sneeze sound. other than that, he sneezes are pretty normal sounding. he doesn't stifle much but he's good at it. ex (normal); "hhuH- hh'GSHeww!" ex (stifle); "ehH- gttch-!"

slender - his sneezes sound like a loud, staticy noise. the hitching is more normal at first but becomes more distorted as he builds up to the sneeze. it's very loud, often able to be heard a few rooms over. stifling by pressing hard against his nasal area only shortens the sneeze, doing nothing for the volume. he could try to muffle it into a pillow but it's still pretty loud, being heard from the next room over

😳: Are they embarrassed by their sneezes, or do they just not really care? Do they apologize after sneezing? Do they say “sorry!” or “excuse me!” or anything like that? If they’re embarrassed about it, why?

ej - he isn't too embarrassed by sneezing but he will say "excuse me" or "bless me" after just out of politeness. the only time he becomes really embarrassed is during his allergy fits as they can go on for so long

jeff - he tries to act like he isn't embarrassed but he is. he just thinks it's gross and it almost makes him feel weaker. he doesn't say anything and gets angry when people say bless you

lj - he gets a little embarrassed. he doesn't say much but it's more out of awkwardness. if he feels like it, he'll mumble something like "scuse me" but most of the time, he just stands there for a second or two before moving on

slender - after the initial shock (he forgets he even can sneeze sometimes), he'll usually apologize. ex; "my apologies", "so sorry about. that", ect. he gets embarrassed because his sneezes are so loud and feels a bit guilty for disturbing everyone

❄️: Would it be more unusual to see this character sick during the winter or during the summer? Do they typically go down during cold and flu season, or do they usually get summer colds?

ej - he gets sick quite a bit during the spring or summer, having caught something around the time that most of the others were getting over it just because it takes a while to get to him. he often finds himself caught in spring showers, leading to colds. in the winter, he bundles up to avoid catching anything only for it to get him anyways just as things are warming up

jeff - he gets hit pretty hard during cold season, being too stubborn to wear winter clothes. he is one of the first to get sick in either the fall or winter. he gets more colds than anything else but those colds can get really bad

lj - he also tends to get sick more during the winter. he tries to stay out to play but ends up overdoing it. he gets a pretty even amount of colds and flus, all usually happening during the middle, snowy part of winter

slender - he doesn't get sick very often. he gets a minor cold occasionally but it's mainly just some fatigue and a slight cough. what really hits him hard is the flu which he seems to get every 2 or 3 years and usually catches from one of the other pastas. this typically happens in the fall or early months of winter

🌸: Are they allergic to any kind of plants? Flowers, weeds, trees? If yes, how bad are their allergies to those plants?

ej - he has a minor allergy to grass and some tree pollens. it doesn't affect him too much but it can cause him to sneeze a few times and might make him a little itchy

jeff - he's allergic to nearly all flowers and grass. he goes into endless fits of sneezes, his eyes water and itch, his sinuses get irritated and inflamed. he hates taking medicine but sometimes he has to take some Benadryl or Claritin if he wants any relief

lj - he's allergic to tree pollen and ragweed. they both make him super itchy and can cause several fits. he usually takes something to combat his symptoms but being in close proximity will make him sneeze over and over again

slender - he doesn't have any allergies to plants but the smell of lavender sets him off quite a bit. he has small fits because of it, usually in 4s or 5s.

(im gonna do 2 characters for each of the last prompts. ej and jeff for ❤, lj and slender for 📝)

❤️: What’s your absolute favorite scenario for them? It can be anything, sickness, allergies, or something else entirely!

ej - i love thinking of him being bothered by his allergies but being in a position where he can't cover or touch his nose. just all snotty and messy and unable to do anything about it

jeff - i like the idea of him having a stuck sneeze and needing to find something to induce with. he tries a few things but they don't work. when he finally finds something that actually makes him sneeze, one sneeze turns into a whole fit

📝: Quick! Come up with a scenario for them! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just something you think would be cute or something you’d like to see with them!

lj - he's trying to tell a joke or something but the person he's telling it to is wearing perfume or something like that. it's irritating his nose a lot but he doesn't want to bring it up. he keeps sneezing before he can get to the punchline. eventually, he just switches the joke all together

slender - he wakes up early in the morning or in the middle of the night, starting to come down with something and already having to sneeze. he tries to hold back by rubbing at his face because he doesn't want to wake everyone up. he does his best but he really can't help it. he grabs a pillow, shoving his flushed and fevered face into it and sneezing. despite his attempt to muffle it, he still ends up waking up a few people and alerting them of his sickness. he sighs out a scratchy, congested apology to the slightly bewildered pastas

sorry if it's not that great, i did my best. ask more if you want, this was fun!

#snz #snz art #sneezypasta #sneeze #sneezeblr #sl/endy #j/eff #e/j #l/j

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we-are-all-of-legend-now · 2 years

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Jake takes Haley trick-or-treating

Lol hopefully you also think this counts 👀

Warnings for this one: alcohol mentions, written on my phone

Jake tickled the belly of his four month old son, watching him create spit bubbles as he giggled. LJ clapped his hands together, making a soft thud as the pads of his bear costume met instead of the sharp slap of his palms.

"Awww, who's Grandma's cutest grand-bear?" Susan cooed, dancing around the living room with the costume. "Your first costume was a dragon, Jake."

"Subtle, Mom," Haley said, from where she was lounging on the couch.

"Haley was a monkey," Susan continued, like Haley hadn't spoken.

"I just can't wait until he's old enough to trick or treat," Jake said. "Gonna have to pay that parent tax, buddy."

"You also made me pay a sister tax when you were too old to go," Haley reminded him.

"Only like, three times."

"Twice. You didn't make me pay that year you lost me."

"The year you what?!" Susan exclaimed, hitting a high enough pitch that LJ let out a cry.

Immediately, Rose flew from the front door where she and Jonathan had been handing out candy. Jake let her scoop LJ out of his arms, knowing that she wouldn't be calm until she'd felt him all over himself to know that he didn't have any bumps or bruises.

"What's going on?" Jonathan asked.

"Jake lost Haley! When they were trick or treating!"

Jake gestured at Haley, splayed contently across the couch, munching on a small bag of chips. "I brought her back! No harm no foul!"

"You lost your sister!" Susan argued.

"She was like, eleven, she was fine to be on her own," Jake said.

Rose glared at him and held LJ closer to her chest.

"And what was so important, young man, that you forgot about your sister?" Jonathan demanded.

Feeling like a teenager again, Jake couldn't help but glance at Rose. She caught his eye and gasped, blushing a bright pink.

"Oh, no, Jake," she said. "Was that the year you dressed up like a Power Ranger?"

Jake rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yep!" Haley said. "That was the year he lost me. I was wearing the cutest kitty cat costume and my big brother is supposed to take me on my big candy route and drop me off at Gramps' before he could go party."

"That wasn't what happened -" Jake said desperately.

"There I was, walking a long, my bag full of candy. I turn around to tell Jake we're taking the next left and POOF! He's gone," Haley said dramatically. "And there I was, all alone, in a sea of strangers hoping that no one snatched me up."

"I was literally around the corner! I just ... Needed time to catch up!"

"Jake," Susan said, "Why weren't you with your sister?"

"This was literally twenty years ago. It's Halloween. Let's just have fun and eat candy." Jake glared at Haley but she was pointedly ignoring him, in the little sister way that she had perfected so well.

"Yeah," Haley drawled. "Jake, why weren't you with your sister?"

Haley knew exactly why. Jake knew she knew exactly why. She had come running back around the corner less than ten minutes later - it hadn't even been enough time that Jake had even considered her lost - and had found him, huddled up just outside of the glare of a street light with Rose. Rose, her twin, and their friend had been dressed as the Powerpuff Girls. Rose had been Blossom and Jake could still remember that tight pink skirt in perfect detail. They'd only had one lap around the block left to do with Buttercup's younger brother before they could go to a party and Rose had invited Jake to come to their party. Jake had already texted Trixie and Spud about their change of plans when Rose has slipped him one of the mini bottles of vodka out of her personal candy bag. They'd been doing shooters and were on the verge of making out when Haley had rushed up to him. There was no way that he was going to tell that particular recollection to his parents, however, no matter that he was in his thirties and the girl he'd stopped for was now his wife and the mother of his child.

It was also a story, Jake decided, that he was not going to be telling LJ.

"Dragon stuff," Jake said breezily. "You know how it is."

Jake could tell that his family didn't believe him but that was his story and he was sticking to it.