#Like there was something there!

[nat20critfail]

I really wanted to like the new doctor who, but, boy. Is it a mess.

For full awareness, I want to say that I didn't watch much of Jodie Whittaker's seasons. Or, I stopped somewhere near the end I think. I got incredibly pissed off at the "giving the master to the Nazis" episode and couldn't forgive all the plot transgressions anymore. (Nothing worse than people saying the seasons were bad because she's a woman btw. Her acting was fine, I was excited for a female doctor, the writing was just not great).

But this new season...

First of all, I know that doctor who has always been cheesy. The first episode of nine's season has Mickey being eaten by a sentient alien garbage can. The garbage can takes him somewhere I guess, and then spits out the infamous plastic copy that rose doesn't think twice about. There's a certain suspension of disbelief that goes into watching the show.

But wtf are goblins? They look kinda like elves, they're wearing Santa hats, okay, cool, I get the play. And they're flying in the sky in a wooden space ship. Okay...interesting. and the ship is run with ...knots. rope knots. It's not magic though! It's just coincidence-based science that the doctor doesn't understand yet. I mean, up until two seconds ago he knew approximately everything about the goblins and was teaching Ruby about how they eat people and are drawn to coincidences. Or just want to eat babies that have been...involved in coincidences? It makes it tastier? The Doctor I know would care that they eat babies, maybe argue with them a bit about it, make more of a deal about keeping the baby safe rather than looking at it and going "cool" because the goblins are just singing so well.

And the song. The song is about 50% of the worst part and it's so immersion breaking. The immersion breaking is doubled once the Doctor and Ruby join in. Maybe it's supposed to tie into the maestro being the big bad or something?

Okay, actually. I think it was written by AI. The background was good honestly, that's the part written by Gold, but as soon as the vocals hit I was so immediately immersion breaking. I just looked it up and it says Davies wrote it but I'm not sure I believe it. Like the rhymes are so simple, and it's sort of just a list. And why would they be saying that the goblin king isn't a myth?? Either they know they're singing to an audience or it was never looked at after being written once. Also it's so clearly filmed for a music video it's embarrassing.

AND 60 MINUTES????? FOR WHAT???? the actual action is so fast paced, the monster of the week is explained in a few bullet points at the end, and yet the filler is all over the place, and it lasts so long. The woman that the doctor "saves" from a falling snowman head, who's really just doing her shopping...what's the point of that? Why are they sitting there arguing about whether or not Ruby's mom is suspicious about what's going on? They're acting like it's an emergency one minute and forget about it the next. WHY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CARE THAT GRANDMA HASN'T GOTTEN A CUPPA?! Things are repeated so often (and so plainly) it makes me feel like I'm watching a show made for children, and hey, maybe I am.

And this is just the first episode! Or, I guess, the Christmas episode. I didn't watch it when it first came out so I thought I was watching the first one. But still! I honestly think they (kind of) get progressively better. But I'm not even that sure.

Another thing, the fact that they seem to kill all of the goblins entirely, and they don't even try diplomacy, really bothers me, if not all the more for the second episode! I think I'm going to have to come back to talk about the second since this is already so long but...yeah.

[dredsina]

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[thelaurenshippen]

watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[goatsorcery]

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[beebfreeb]

[cronenfag]

as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[hummingbooks]

Zack and Cody showing up at that restaurant at 7:30pm tonight:

[bluuscreen]

one of the chocolate guys videos appears on your dash. you pause your scrolling to watch it, trying to guess what he’s making because this doesn’t seem to be one you’ve seen before. as the video goes on you get more unnerved and impressed — he seems to be making a whole human being this time, and it’s uncannily realistic. it’s even filled with candied fruit and sweet pastries in place of organs, red velvet cake and a cherry reduction making up flesh and blood beneath the chocolate. but something feels off. the person he’s making seems strangely familiar. upon the final reveal, you know why. amaury guichon has created a perfect replica of you

ETA: