#Like when people have actual health issues does he just... Google and hope for the best

[riwooga]

Your Harper post just ignited my spark to play dol again <3 I kinda miss their manipulative cute ass

I am honored 🤧

Honestly who DOESNT love our favorite manipulative creep of a doctor 💕💕💕

Sometimes I let my PC get taken to the asylum just because I miss Harper ngl

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hello! I'm going through a rough time right now and I was just wondering: can I request the ROTTMNT turtles x a S/O who has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they take care of a S/O whose depression spells make it hard for them to get out of bed, take care of themselves etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/chubby and insecure about it.

Hope you feel better soon 💜

Raph Leo Donnie and Mikey x Reader with anxiety, depression and PTSD

Raphael

★ Oh lawd please let him help. He wants, no, he needs to help you. You are his s/o and he cares about you more than you think. Need a mental health day? He's coming over with sented candles and snacks.

★ Anything you need, he's going to give. If you are having one of those days where you feel you can't leave bed he will stay by your side so you don't feel alone. If he needs to leave your side he grabs a few of his favorite teddy bears and puts them on the bed where he was.

★ He's familiar with the concept of having body image issues but never once thought about you having them. Your body is perfect to him. It's soft and warm, ideal to lay down and cuddle with. What could be missing?

★ You are gorgeous. You're probably tired of hearing those words from well meaning people but to him it's true. In his eyes every single thing you see as a flaw is beautiful.

★ "How was your day?" Is asked every night when the two of you meet up. He genuinely wants to know how your day went and how you are feeling. If something went wrong of if you are stressed out about something you should vent.

Leonardo

★ When you start to open up to him about being insecure he is going to feal really bad. Mostly because he knows what it feels like and the idea that you feel the same hurts.

★ He is going to mess up at first, but he wants to help. He regularly sends you random body positivity photos and memes he finds online.

★ One of his go-to ideas for when you're feeling stressed out is to bring you on a walk around the hidden city and do a little sightseeing. Usually it works and you get your mind off whatever was bothering you.

★ PTSD attacks scared him at first, purely because he didn't know what to do. He felt really bad after he first saw you have one because he had to call his sister, April, to help. Later he went down a rabbit hole of googling and websites to know what to do next time.

★ Nowadays he is much more prepared, he knows a few grounding techniques to try and help you through PTSD attacks. He even put together a "emergency Y/n kit" filled with stuff for you. Among other things it's got gum, a soft blanket and some watter.

★ it's just a tote bag that sits in the corner of his room. It also has a few Lou jitsu movies on DVD to watch together.

Donatello

★ You have unlimited access to his room and lab for the sole reason that it's the quietest place in New York. It's definitely not because he worries about you and wants to give you a safe space. Not at all...

★ When you don't have the motivation to get up out of bed you get to have some very rare and valuable Donnie cuddles. Usually he would cuddle you for so long but you need this, so he does it for you.

★ He tries to gently bring up the subject of antidepressants, hoping that you might decide to try them. But in true Donnie fashion does it by saying "Did you know antidepressants affect two neurotransmitters in particular, serotonin and norepinephrine?" Yea, he ain't slick.

★ He would never force or pressure you into going on meds. If you say you don't want to go on them for whatever reason he accepts it and leaves it at that.

★ However, if you choose to he would go over the different types of medication. Lists off the side effects and benefits along with what they actually do. For gods sake, he might go through the process of drug compounding for you. No doctor prescription needed.

Michelangelo

★ Can't find the motivation to get out of bed? He's joining you and ends up clinging to you while asleep. He's only leaving the bed if you leave the bed.

★ However, neglecting your own health is where he draws the line. You are not allowed to neglect yourself (not bathing, eating enough or letting yourself to give up). Imagine him saying "open wide!" While holding a chicken nugget up to your mouth.

★ Venting session might do you some good. If you can't afford therapy (thanks American lack of public healthcare) he will pick up a book on phycology and try his best. He's not the world's best therapist/boyfriend but he's trying.

★ Over time you end up telling him a lot about where your PTSD came from. Mikey is really good at noticing things that upset you now. Along with that he researches the effects of mental illness, to try and know more about what you're going through.

[timemachineyeah]

Please disregard if there's no way to answer this without it being invasive but... re: your recent post about your job supporting your fatigue and disabilities... would you mind saying what industry it is? I have a friend with disability/chronic debilitating illness who is trying to figure out how to envision a working life while managing ongoing pain, surgeries, fatigue, etc., and I think he despairs of any place ever being willing to accommodate him for a few hours a week. We google things plenty, but the difference between a helpful listicle and a real person's anecdote is everything.

sure. my job is kind of niche so I don’t know how easy it would be to go hunting for it specifically, and I do kinda worry about giving its title since afaict only one company uses it (though more than one does this same basic thing) and my job is very regional, but maybe describing it would help you somehow

basically I work for an archive / news service. technically, I’m a journalist, but realistically what I do is more akin to gophering and data entry. I work three days a week - two short days in my county and one long one in one of the neighboring counties. on days when I leave the county I get hours for my driving time and miles reimbursed.

I don’t get a lot of flexibility on how many days I work, but when I started the job I got to pick which three days I would work, so got to decide whether one long rest or two short rests would suit me better. On the days I work I have a deadline (5pm) but can work whenever I want to meet that deadline. Sometimes it’s 9am - 11am and other times it’s 1pm - 3pm. Sometimes there’s no new cases and work is 20 minutes from my couch.

And basically what I do is compile a list of potentially interesting lawsuits filed in the county, go to the relevant courthouse to read the actual legal complaint, summarize and log the ones that meet certain criteria in a simple sentence, and get scans of ones that meet even stricter criteria to upload to our archive, all of which gets sent out to our subscribers on mailing lists.

Then, journalists and lawyers pay to get these updates or access these databases for their own reporting or research. I often know local headlines a few days to a couple weeks early because I was the one reading the source material.

I work an average of 7 hours a week. My short days are usually an hour or two. My long day is 3-7 hours depending on which county I’m going to and how unique or complicated the filed cases are. It does not take long to do the actual work. Most of my hours come from driving rural highways and listening to podcasts.

It’s the kind of job there’s not a lot of. But while it’s the best I’ve found, I’ve found very part time work with lenient employers before. It is possible. You just gotta be specific about it.

I will say, while most jobs are not looking for employees that part time, those that are will thrilled to hear that’s enough hours for you. Employers who need one specific skilled task that only takes 7 hours a week often struggle with retention because, well, how many people are gonna take that as a stop gap until they get more full time work? And then all the rest are likely to be disabled people like me, who have retention issues for reasons of health. That being said I’ve worked this job for years now, and I’m not letting it go without, like, some other better guarantee. Because while I’m happy to provide hope that these jobs do exist, it is also true that they’re tough to find.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Moving right along to show some love to Blush Blush's amazing characters! I hope anyone who knows the game will enjoy some headcanons for the softest, sweetest rabbit, Nimh!

Nimh actually tries really hard to live healthily. Because he does have existing health issues, he’s careful with most parts of his lifestyle. Though he has a huge sweet tooth, he doesn’t over-indulge and even cut back on his soda intake and started drinking more water than anything, though he overall wasn’t a fan of drinking water. Of course, given how increasing his water intake ended for him, it actually was a pretty smart choice for his life.

Nimh has a bad habit of doodling when he gets bored. A lot of his notebook that he carries around at work has liberal doodles all through the page margins or splashed in between important information and he’d be so embarrassed if any of his coworkers or his bosses saw his notebook and note the carefully typed up memos he does for them.

Nimh doesn’t spend a lot of time on the internet. He uses google a lot and I think he probably reads fanfiction. He seems like a fanfic kind of guy to me, a lot of slow-burn romances or cute and fluffy stuff. Other than that though, he tries to stay off the internet for the most part, because he’s seen so many mean comments and can’t believe how rude most people get because of the anonymity of the internet.

Nimh really likes pretty smells. He uses scented bubble baths and bath bombs, he buys scented candles, he uses a plug-in air freshener. A lot of the smells he gravitates towards are fruity or sweet, like candy or bakery smells. He doesn’t like really musky or very masculine smells, like woodsmoke or forest scents or cedar, etc.

Nimh has a huge fear of public speaking. He doesn’t mind preparing speeches, writing them, and researching for them. He doesn’t mind coordinating PowerPoints or other media and visual effects for meetings or events. He actually loves doing all that stuff. He just cannot handle the thought of having to be the one up there talking in front of everybody.

Nimh has a really bad habit of looking down at the ground or watching his shoes when he walks, and his posture is a little skittish and bent inward.

[captn3]

A discussion on ableism in AI: The Somnium Files

Happy Disability Pride Month! I hope everyone's July is starting out well, despite the loud fireworks of the fourth.

For this month i thought it would be fitting to discuss a major problem in the game AI: The Somnium Files: ableism. There will be major spoilers for the game's plot described, and there will be one singular mention of Nirvana Initiative that isn't really a spoiler but I'm just putting a warning here. The reason there's only one mention of it is because I have not finished that game yet, and don't even know if it has any ableism in it. Working on that while writing this post, actually. Don't get me wrong, I love this game a lot, but obviously everything has its issues, and you've gotta be critical of that. That's the whole reason I'm making this post- so people can learn to be aware of this so they can avoid being ableist themselves, and understand the issues behind it.

I very strongly encourage abled fans to reblog. Even if you know all of this, I want more people to hear.

First of all, the usage of psychopathy(and other similar terms) in a derogatory way. Countless times the game refers to the culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings as a psychopath. I do not experience psychosis myself, but I have studied a bit before making this post (reading various articles written by people who have been diagnosed with psychosis) Not only that, but by now it should be wildly known that calling people psychotic when they are acting "crazy" or "insane" is very ableist, even if you don't experience it yourself. Unrelated to anything that happens in AITSF, but this can also be said for bipolar disorder and OCD when it comes to talking about yourself when you do something unrelated to it at all, and more aligned with the stereotypes of said disorder. For example, saying "im so bipolar haha" in response to a "sudden" change in how you're feeling, or "omg it triggers my ocd!!" when you see something terribly unorganized, something Most People Hate To See, OCD diagnosis or not. The rest, and majority of the post is under a read more. This is a final warning for major plot spoilers, as the true culprit of the New Cyclops Serial Killings will be namedropped, and talked about in-depth, as well as other major spoilers, including the biggest plot twist in the game. Key points, parentheses, and the beginnings of paragraphs will be in bold to make it hopefully a bit easier to read.

Back on topic, the treatment of Saito is odd- especially when Date doesn't have any of this happen to him- y'know, being in Saito's body. It is implied in the bad end of annihilation route that Date does reach this "reward system" of killing people for pleasure, but it's still odd. Would Date not have, I don't know, killed a bug or something and then been like Oh shit. Because clearly even though Aiba supplies oxytocin for Date, the implications in that bad ending still happen. It's also odd that within the time he went without Aiba before she was created, that he was fine. Though since most of this relies on a loose implication, I won't stay focused on it for that long. So, I'll move on. Saito being called a psychopath is especially worrying considering the reason he is called this is because of a physical brain disability. This part I can actually speak from my own experience, as I am missing my own pituitary gland. I have a health condition called Panhypopituitarism. It can be shortened to Panhypopit, or PHP. You can study it more if you'd like, if not, here's a short definition from a google search: "A rare condition in which the pituitary gland stops making most or all hormones." It is so rare, when typing the condition's name in it gives it a red squiggly line, implying I either misspelled or typed in a word that doesn't exist! And for the nerds out there, specifically about 4 in 100,000 people are diagnosed with it in a year. For a somewhat silly comparison, the chance of having Panhypopituitarism is lower than the chance of getting a shiny Pokemon. (meaning i can have a pokesona that's shiny for an actual reason other than "shinies are cool, idc if they're rare" /j) People can have this condition at birth, or if the gland is damaged at all throughout their life. I was born with my pituitary gland LITERALLY MISSING. The doctors couldn't find it. And since this condition is rare, it is a very hard condition to deal with. I will not go into too much detail, but I have had a doctor for most of my life who clearly didn't know what he was doing in relation to the condition, and that affected my life in more ways than one. Not only that, but some people suffer from it more than others. It depends on how severe the case is. In Saito's case, his body cannot properly produce oxytocin. I don't know the specifics of everything the pituitary gland is supposed to secrete and produce but I can tell you I have it from somewhere else in my body because I do not take medicine to supply it, and I frequently experience feelings of love and comfort and trust and????? You get it. I do have depression, which might be because of this?? But like, I still fucking feel love and shit. Most importantly though.

I do not have an urge to kill things so I can experience love and joy. I do not have an inability to feel love.

As someone with such a rare condition, I've NEVER found any representation for Panhypopit before. I'm not too surprised or sad about it, but when the only time a character DOES have something similar to it, it's extremely unrealistic, it causes them to only feel love when murdering, and they're called a psychopath for it, I'm obviously gonna be a bit upset. When Pewter deliberately explained Saito's brain dysfunction that I can relate to in such a harrowing way; describing that because of said dysfunction he can only feel pleasure by killing things, I felt very distraught. At the time though, friends around joked about it, saying "haha, just like Memo!" Because I was young and ignorant, and a kid who very much depended on others to seem normal and find interests, I nodded along, and started laughing too, ignoring i was distressed about the scene at all. Later on though, when my group of friends changed drastically because I didn't want to talk to people who are now ex-friends (for reasons you can probably guess, lmao), a different friend happened to start playing AITSF. I was very excited, because like I said, it was one of my favorite games, and one of the only instances of bodyswaps that didn't trigger me (i know this is a silly trigger, and its silly that there are exceptions, but thats just how my brain works, and also its disability pride month so you cant be mean to me /hj) and I love to talk about my interests with others, whether I'm currently hyperfixating on them or not. When said friend, who I'll call S from now on (hi S if you're reading this. leaving you in the anonymity zone out of my own choice actually which is why i didnt ask you if you wanted me to mention you by name or not) finished AITSF, and started thinking about everything, connecting everything, y'know, the usual process after you finish a Uchikoshi game, we ended up talking about Saito's problems. I mentioned my ex-friends said that, and he made me realize, Hey. That Was Fucked Up, Actually. In general, I never really considered it ableist until he mentioned it. Which is kinda why I'm making this post- so people CAN know that these things are ableist. People should be aware that doing things like what my old friends did- no matter the commonness or rarity of the disability in the scenario, is ableist. Specifically the parts where they didn't acknowledge the ableism of giving the disability to the villain, and instead began to compare said villain (who fucking MURDERS PEOPLE) to someone they knew that had the same, or similar disability. Sorry for the long portion about Panhypopit, I meant it. Seriously, I'm betting everyone reading this except for my friends had no idea it existed, so of course I'm gonna explain it in detail so they do know. Anyway, let's move on from Saito.

(ID in alt text)

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitomi Sagan, as we all know AS IT IS LITERALLY A HUGE PLOT POINT, is shot in the right shoulder, which paralyzes that arm. Paralyzes. WHY IS IT MOVING. Now, yes, perhaps this was an oversight, but there's also the possibility they didn't want to change the animation just a bit just for one character. I don't know the complications of just.. yknow, making the arm stay still, but either way, it's still fucked up. If it was this hard, though, why not omit her from the scene entirely? Or even just, don't have her dance? Mayumi is seen standing still next to Ota during his segment of the song, why not Hitomi? It's possible I'm just being very nitpicky, but I feel like this could have easily been avoided. You could say perhaps she got surgery the same way Iris did to help her arm, but wouldn't that have been mentioned as well? And if it for some reason wasn't, we visit the Sagan Residence in the epilogue. Her arm is still paralyzed. There's no reason for her to hide she had surgery done. In fact, wouldn't she tell Date as soon as possible? Tell him not to worry he shot her cause it's alright now? But that wouldn't matter anyway- her arm is still paralyzed even in AITSF nirvanA Initiative. Well I don't know. That one I'm not as upset about as... [gesturing] Saito. But, as bad as Saito is, the game does have other disabled characters that aren't treated as badly. Say, Iris's brain condition, or Mayumi's dementia. But that still doesn't make up for how badly Saito was handled. That'll be it, really. Can't think of anything else on this specific topic. If you wanna add on at all please feel free! I could've missed something, or not have explained stuff that well.

Happy Disability Pride Month!

[senrrrra]

Massive stupid narc rant under cut!!! I'm experiencing Narcissistic collapse. (Katie pls pls pls don't read I told Nathan I wouldn't say anything)

I've been having a fucking crash for a week now or something. It's been fucking hell. I wake up and I'm sad and miserable and want to break and destroy something or just everything. There's this pit in my stomach I can't get rid of.

Then I wonder, "oh, can I fix this? Can I help it at all?" and foolishly google it, hoping among all the horrible articles about how much I suck and how manipulative and abusive I must be there might be something good. But all that does is make me think about how my best friend reads all this shit, firmly believed it, and wants fucking nothing to do with me and is probably happy I'm gone. After almost 2 years, knowing me so well and me genuinely thinking we were friends, he decided I'm actually just shit and can't be trusted because he learnt something about me. He'd probably be happy if I fucking dropped dead! Then I wouldn't be a "threat to Nathan's safety".

I want to fucking sprint 300 miles in the other direction, go to the nearest town, get a job and change my name. I want to disappear. By being around Nathan, I'm causing these issues. People thinking I'm hurting him just by being a narcissist and existing around him. I can't say or do anything without having somebody be like "oh I feel bad for him/I'm worried for him, being stuck with a narcissist as a husband".

The options are to hide my NPD from everybody and hope new friends don't find out. If they find out, they'll be like oh I've been lied to and manipulated this whole time and I'll lose somebody else I've gotten close to.

Other option is to be upfront and immediately scare people off and feel so fucking unloved and hated. Having people en masse telling me I'm worth less than mud (something that was said to me when I was banned from a server for saying I was a narcissist) would do absolutely miracles for my mental health I'm sure!!!

I'm a fucking day away from shooting myself dead and I'm not even fucking joking. I'm so miserable. I could just wander out of the house one day and Nathan would never find me again. Oh, but then I'm in my head like "you're being abusive, manipulative, you're threatening suicide and you're an abusive fucking narcissist" and I'm stuck in this fucking CYCLE.

I'm suicidal because I feel so fucking hated and rejected by everybody but this suicidal ideation makes me feel even worse about being a narcissist, which makes the suicidal thoughts worse. Nobody can fucking help me. There's no resources on how to help me. Only on how to protect yourself from a narcissist's crash. Because we're going to abuse and fucking kill you, I guess.

I just want to kill myself, that's it. I feel so horrible. I feel like I shouldn't fucking front ever again. I don't deserve to exist or even fucking breathe. I hope I get stabbed to death on my way home. I hope a train runs the bus over on my way to work. I hope my chest pain is actually serious and causes my heart to stop. I hope our house catches on fire while Nathan's at work (and all of his belongings are okay, I'm the only thing damaged and killed). I hope I just stop living. Please. The fucking universe won't let me have peace or mercy for a SECOND.

I'm hated by my family, friends, partners. All my life. My whole life. People are afraid of me because of BPD and now for NPD, I'm hated. I'm treated as this horrible fucking monster with no remorse or care. I must be hurting Nathan in some way. I've become so hyper vigilant of how I act with him because I'm so scared I'm actually narc abusing him and have no fucking clue. I genuinely don't even want to be friends with him at all anymore because I can't fucking handle this. I don't want to cause more problems with his friends. I don't want to cause problems with his potential future friends. I'm so afraid of making life terrible for those closest to me.

My family made me think I made life horrible and terrible for them just by existing. I cost too much, I cried too much, I talked too much, I laughed too much, I did everything too much. I made everything so difficult for them. My friends made me feel this way. My partners made me feel this way. I'm the common denominator. I must actually be this horrible.

Fuck I should actually just die, huh? I'm really stuck like this forever. It's only a matter of time before everything goes horribly wrong and I'm the common denominator again. I shouldn't be around anybody.

[barbiegirldream]

Cause i’m feeling like it and Ciara is a friend and seeing slander and misinfo is always annoying. Let’s go through @twifox-the-queer’s fun little analysis of Ciara they so helpfully put in a google doc 

-No one has to know what Hermitcraft or anything off the DSMP is if they don’t want to. However DSMP fans across the board have often faced unwarrented negativity from Hermitcraft stans if you’re wondering where we’re coming from

-She absolutely knows what SBI is and who’s in it what? 

-Absolutely wrong she can for sure have crit of Dream he hasn’t done anything worth even wondering about lately. And it’s tiring as hell to rehash old drama that was either fake in the first place or apologized for. 

-Yeah I think Ciara can actually tell the difference between the Florida Man and the green murder guy she just happens to like them both a lot. 

-Again no one has to care at all about other forms of Minecraft content. That’s just quite simply not how things work.

-You seem to actually have an issue with the idea that people outside of the Dream Team can be worthy of crit so I don’t see how this is a problem on her. Go look in the Dream neg tag if that would make you feel better I guess. 

-Superiority or inferiority pick one pls. Anyways weird how you go on and on about mental health and neurodivergent and never once stopped to think of her in any way but neurotypical. and this isn’t criticism what you’re doing btw just so you know

-You’re literally just making stuff up at this point. No one defends everything Dream has said and done not even Dream. You have constructed a narrative in your head and with no evidence are trying to impose the caricature of what you believe a toxic Dream stan to be on the blog of the day you think harassing is okay 

-She actually likes Techno so no fucking clue where you got any of that from. 

-you quite simply defined empathy here so not sure if you really even bothered to google stuff

-Fun thing about fiction you don’t have to care that the bad guy is the bad guy. You know the Avengers? remember when Loki killed all those people? I thought it was great and funny and he was the best. No one would have called me a idk hostile takeover mass murderer apologist? Like you need to think about the terms you are using and the context you are using them in. It is absolutely inappropriate to call someone a real life abuse apologist because you personally can’t handle differing opinions about a fictional media. She can say c!Dream is the hero of the story and that he’s done no wrong ever and you can shut the fuck up and get over it, it doesn’t effect you in anyway. 

-No one is being called a freakshow for mental illness it’s for things like starting drama for no reason other than to be annoying... kinda like you’re doing now. Someone starting a spectacle for attention. if you were offended you could say something. but like dude ableism is not when someone on the internet calls you out for being weird towards them. 

-The kys jokes she makes with her friends are quite simply none of your business grow up a little 

-Please for the love of god do not throw around terms like that when you clearly do not know what they mean. As someone who does suffer from intense paranoia and derealization sometimes her blog is fine everything is taggable she’s completely open to tagging. You are spreading dangerous misinfo by just adding buzzwords in here 

-not sure why you added stuff about the lore onto this incredibly inappropriate call out doc but sure let’s go with it you straight up disproved everything you said about the sympathy thing right here so A+

Anyways all in all you should really sit down and think about what you’re doing here. It’s not healthy. I’m all done interacting here but I hope you take some of this to heart and hopefully move on to other things to occupy your time.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] (American) College!AU Demon Brothers

Scenario: Headcanons on the demon brothers as college students (specifically in the US because I don’t know how college works elsewhere), their possible majors, career goals, extracurriculars, ~GPA~ and whatever else I could think of + how meet you in college

Note: I’m hoping to do a Part 2 with the Undateables but honestly… we’ll see lol. This is based off something ~A~ and I thought of for our specific university but we’ve made it broad enough to share HAHA this turned out VERY long

- 

Lucifer

Majoring in Political Sciences with a minor in Psychology

Pre-Law-- most likely immigration law or child custody (there’s definitely a backstory here)

Initially went to community college for the first two years to save up money to take care of his younger siblings

Rejected an offer to go to an Ivy League because it was too expensive; if his siblings ever found out they’d be furious that he’d give up on that chance, but he knows he can succeed wherever he goes (and besides, family is first) 

Transferred into a 4-year university his junior year 

Very high GPA-- VERY

In a professional fraternity with Diavolo and Barbatos 

He didn’t think he’d join one either but Diavolo was the vice chair when he transferred in and the president the year after so… ~nepotism?~ and also Lucifer is charming as heck so no surprise he’d get in

Also rooms with Diavolo and Barbatos

Goes to the gym regularly just to keep fit; gets goaded by Diavolo and Satan into joining an IM team with his frat brothers and actual brothers-- probably basketball or flag football

Probably meets you at a interclub council meeting and mutters under his breath how useless the board members are and you overhear 

“Never have I met more incompetent people.”

“Lmao mood”

“!!!”

Keeps sitting next to you at every interclub meeting then after because at least there’s someone that can keep his mind stimulated (thinks you’re hot if you’re competent btw)

If you somehow meet him on campus, he’s the type of guy to put his hand up and pretend he didn’t see you (just kidding, he always ends up saying hi anyways) 

Will Absolutely Lecture You if you are procrastinating on studying especially if your midterm is, like, TOMORROW

Always ends up studying with him because he’s actually focused on studying and glares at you if you get distracted (but hey you get good scores in the end)

Mammon

Majoring in Business Econ/Economics, Minoring in Statistics

(always ends up in the middle of the “is econ a humanities or a STEM major” debate that leaves him left for dead) 

Planning to work in Business as Finance -- probably has been treasurer or finance director for a club; can even see him being a banker if it suits his plans better

Goes to a four-year university

Decent GPA (or Lucifer would absolutely destroy him), and does REALLY well in mathematics classes

Would room with Lucifer and his posse if they all go to the same school 

Probably in a Business Frat as well because he’s pretty charismatic when it comes down to it but  was an RA for some of his years for the free rooming and dining hall privileges 

Is a very chill and understanding RA (as in he smokes weed with you when he’s off-duty) but is surprisingly well-versed in dealing with roommate issues

Works part-time (gasp) to buy stuff off of Amazon and go out to places 

Spends a lot of time exploring places with his friends, going hiking, rock-climbing, clubbing-- which is expensive, as it turns out, so he needed to be able to afford it somehow

Meets you when you’re eating your lunch outside somewhere and he asks you if you have a dollar he could borrow for a vending machine snack

You exchange numbers with him so he can pay it back (even though you honestly don’t really need it, but why not) and turns out he’s in your GE class

“Heyyy wassup! So glad I have a friend in this class” 

“Oh by the way, did you finish the homework? Haha, I forgot it.” 

Mammon always repays you for your help in food though so you aren’t complaining

Leviathan

Majoring in Computer Sciences

And honestly that’s too much for me already-- the man is doing computer programming, coding-- WHEW-- and they do NOT rest

Goes to a community college but honestly has no problems cinching internships. The computer is his domain-- online applications are EASY, doing projects NOT as easy, interviews? HARD-- REALLY HARD (someone help him)

Probably intends to work with a big company like Google if only to help supply his income so he can live his life going to AX and buying merch 

Most likely moved out of his house mid-college with his online friends (who are luckily compatible with him living-space wise) and visits home once a week 

There’s two potential sides you can meet first: 

Either you meet him at a convention and you both gush about the same character and anime and somehow find each other online (not college related) 

Or his favorite Ruri-chan keychain gets broken off in the computer lab, and you’re the one running after him to give it him

He may or may not owe you his life after that (and if you enjoy anime, well that’s a bonus)

Both of these meetings can happen if he doesn’t recognize you in class because you were in cosplay-- imagine the surprise

The two of you as friends are MASTER PROCRASTINATORS at every assignment the two of you have-- so low-key not a great influence-- but you have fun together watching animes, playing games, talking about life-- anything but actual work 

Always ends up scrambling to finish things-- but he keeps doing it because it’s been working for him so far

You help him prepare for interviews because he’s always nervous before each one regardless of how well his application looks

Satan

Majoring in Comparative Literature AND Anthropology (ya boy is doing the whole nine yards)

Planning to get his Master’s and then a PhD in one of his majors (whichever proves to be more engaging for him)-- visibly excited to become a Professor

College was meant for Satan-- like REALLY; the man is in LOVE with learning; most likely to go and be accepted to an Ivy-League after Lucifer but... truly believes you can get a good education anywhere so it depends on his financial standing (and how much scholarship he gets)

Does get a little disgruntled when his classes aren’t available but doesn’t mind learning something new-- if the professor bores him to death, he’ll read the book

Really good at tutoring people; someone suggests that he works as a peer-learning facilitator/writing tutor and he does-- might as well make bank doing something you always do anyways   

Joins a writing/journal club as an extracurricular and a club that provides tutoring services to the underserved community-- surprisingly good with kids!

He knows friends in high places, so if he wanted to, could get into any party without batting an eye and his favorite professors love him

Spends a lot of his time going out to the city and exploring places, similarly to Mammon, rock-climbing, hiking, paragliding-- anything

He is VERY well-rounded as you can see; competes with Lucifer to see whose GPA is better though

You probably meet him during office hours, and you can only stare in awe as he asks questions that you had in mind, but better; if you’re visibly confused about something, he’ll take his time to help you too (it’s habit at this point)

Ask him for his contact info and you’ll get it, and maybe repay him in coffee? (You always see him at the cafe on campus.) 

Most likely to have a specific spot in a cafe that he is always at that the workers actually save a spot for him or give him his usual order before he even arrives-- may or may not have helped them edit their essays or with their homework as a thank-you so you KNOW they’ll love him forever

The type of person to help you make flashcards and cram if you need it

Asmodeus

Majoring in Dance and Fine Arts (I HC going to NYU specifically)

Considering going for an Master of Fine Arts degree but he might just move to New York and go for being a Broadway Star

College is mainly just training for him and hoping to land gigs in local theater-- and the university theater if there is one-- and building his resume for his big break 

Has SO many extracurriculars, all pertaining to his career choice, but also because he enjoys what he does: drama, competitive dance team, acapella, fashion design

Makes an unbelievable amount of friends, incredibly good at networking

The first time you saw him was when he was performing for a local theater and you were in love with his performance, and the next time you saw him in the hallway of a classroom building, you told him how much you enjoyed it

Always accepts compliments about his looks with grace, but there’s something about truly being admired for his acting and singing that has him preening

Invites you to come out to his next performance, and if not his, then to another play-- and it can be a date, but up to you ;) 

The man is the KING of Multiple Talents and has big dreams to match 

Always finds a way to hang out with you and drag you to every club that he can use his fake-id for (and when he’s actually 21 and above, gets a little offended that he doesn’t get ID’d) 

A night in the town with you is always a good night! 

Sometimes when he has practical exams coming up, he asks you to watch him perform-- and he likes your compliments but actually takes getting all the moves seriously so you better pay attention!

Most likely to move far away to reach his dreams, but he would take you with him if he could-- his little star

Beelzebub

Majoring in Physiological Sciences

Pre-Nursing or Pre-Sports Medicine 

He’s a little undecided, but he’s definitely going to go into the health field because he likes the idea of being able to use his strength to help others

Gets a scholarship from the university because he’s part of the football team, which is actually pretty hard on him because Fall Semester/Quarter he has to keep skipping classes for games  

Always brings a snack to eat with him during lecture-- and is not afraid to bring his entire lunch and make it right in the front row, though he tends to stick to the back because they tend to have electrical plugs 

You most likely meet him during lecture: he offers you an entire sandwich (not a chip bag, not fruit snacks, an entire LUNCH) because he heard your stomach growl during class 

From then on, you collect notes for him when he’s gone from games and even go to games if you aren’t usually the type to just to see how he’s doing; it’s hard trying to find you among the huge bleachers, but he always asks you where you’re sitting anyways 

Really appreciate it if you help him study into late at night because it IS hard balancing sports and academics 

He most likely doesn’t really have any time for anything else so he usually makes up for it during the rest of the year when training is less to volunteer in the hospital or at the gym as a personal trainer 

If you ask him to teach you how to properly lift weights, he’ll definitely help out and the both of you can work out together-- though you feel bad when he has to add four extra weights to each side after you finish your reps

Belphegor

Majoring in Computer Graphics/Animation

Intending to go into making animation or game design-- is one of the brothers who doesn’t really know exactly what he wants to do yet because he’s afraid that doing what he loves as a job will ruin it for him

His family reassures him that they’ll support him whether or not he continues with his path in life, but he’s considering art school and then taking internships in places so he has a better idea on what he wants

Most likely to sell his own original work and become a full-time artist regardless

I think you already know how you meet him-- he’s sleeping in a lecture hall-- either against the wall or on the small piece of wood they call a desk when class ends and he’s still sleeping; and you wake him up 

Sleepily thanks you and continues to sleep through every class that you wake him up to; when you ask him why he doesn’t just go home and sleep, he tells you he’s too lazy to walk back and forth from his dorm/apartment to campus (mood) 

When you add each other on Snapchat or something, he sends you pics of ‘places to nap’ on campus

You always end up studying together because he’s actually pretty good at understanding lecture stuff despite not being awake for most of it-- apparently he’s used to teaching himself 

Will make you art for your birthday and will vehemently refuse payment so he just tells you to take him out for dinner instead 

If you talk about how you’re not sure on what you want to do in life too, he’ll probably say ‘mood’ but is most likely to encourage you to do whatever you want to do in life too 

[gothic-lolita-gambling-girl]

Can I request Hajime/Nagito and Izuru headcanons with a S/O that's always tired and procrastinates a lot?

Sorry if my english is bad :(

Have a good day <3

Headcanons for Hajime, Nagito, and Izuru with an s/o who procrastinates a lot!

Pairing: Hajime, Nagito, Izuru (separate) x reader

Genre: sfw

Warnings: Izuru Kamukura (spoilers for a character towards the end of SDR2?)

Length: 559 words ((sorry it’s so short))

Author’s Note: hh this has been in my inbox for a while, so I hope that you see it! If you do, I hope you enjoy this, Anon! Also, your English is perfectly fine, don’t worry! ~Mod Celeste

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hajime Hinata

For some reason, I feel like Hajime procrastinates a lot too ((and is often tired))

So he’d probably just- be tired and procrastinate with you

But if he noticed you were really struggling with it, he would do whatever he can to help you

If it was something specific that was causing everything, he would try to stop it

But if it was just- being tired and procrastinating for no good reason, he’d be kind of lost?

He wouldn’t really know how to help you, but he’d try his best

I’m not really sure there is much you can do to help someone when they’re procrastinating?

Reassuring them, maybe?

Like- I don’t think there’s any way you can just magically get them to stop, but you can at least reassure them that it’s a normal thing, and that they shouldn’t stress about it

Maybe the two of you could like- find different ways to motivate each other?

For example, food?

That’s not a very good example, but it is just that, so-

Anyway,, yeah

If you were ever just too distracted, he’d do whatever he could to minimize that distraction to make it easier for you

As far as being tired goes, he’d also be pretty lost

He’s not really sure why he’s so tired all the time

He’d probably ask if it was like- not having comfortable enough pillows? Or like- just not getting enough sleep in general?

But if it was something like stress or anxiety, he’d probably have to do research to find ways to help you

But he’d do whatever he can to help, even if it doesn’t really end up helping in the end

It’s the thought that counts, and he’s definitely trying, so give him some credit!

Nagito Komaeda

He never wants anything to be difficult for you, so he’d do literally everything in his power to not only help you stop procrastinating and being tired, but making sure that you never have to experience either of those things ever again

He probably doesn’t get a lot of sleep either, so you’d have to help each other out on that, but he might be able to help you with your procrastination

Or make an attempt, at least.

He literally wouldn’t do anything else until he was able to help you

It might get in the way of his health, so you might have to end up getting him to stop

He’ll try countless methods, anything that has even the slightest chance of working

Anything is worth it for his hope!

((While the gesture is sweet, please make sure he takes care of himself))

Izuru Kamukura:

If anyone would know what to do, it’s this man

He’d honestly be the most helpful of the three ((or, he’d be the only one that knows exactly what to do and how to help you))

He’d probably be able to handle it almost instantly, considering the fact that he’s an expert at pretty much everything

He personally doesn’t have the same issues, but he at least understands that it’s very common, and that most people do

He’d basically be like a human Google

Except he would also be able to offer you emotional support

Even if it doesn’t seem very genuine, he really does care

It’s just hard because he can’t actually empathize with you

[thethyroidrelation]

Finding a good endocrinologist is one of the best things you will do for your thyroid health.

Searching for an endo (Endocrinologist)…

After my thyroid surgery, I was automatically referred to an endo by my medical insurance. The doctor was in Scottsdale, Arizona while I was located way out in West Phoenix. For my health absolutely it was worth driving the 40 miles each way to visit him, but with the pandemic and all the issues happening in 2020, I found it would be better to find one closer to me.

I did my research, I googled the best endocrinologists in Goodyear, Arizona or 15 miles from here, I looked at their Google reviews, I went onto my health insurance website and looked at reviews on there, I looked at the doctor’s website, checked out the endo and how long they had been caring for patients with thyroid issues and especially patients who had just had a thyroidectomy and would need lifetime care.

I didn’t know what I was doing. Hell, I didn’t get much of an explanation about what this would mean to me for the rest of my life. I needed someone who really cared about the future of their patients. This entire process has been very enlightening, like getting hit with a bat in the face and seeing stars. I finally understood that it is not up to the surgeon or the endo to tell you how something is going to affect the rest of your life, you have to find out for yourself. The information you receive about how you should take care of yourself and what’s coming next is about 1/3rd of the information you actually need. Use the power of the internet, find like-minded people, join support groups, and ask questions, so many questions. That’s the only way you will make yourself feel better. 

Finding an endo….

So after a lot of research, I found the endo that I was certain was going to help me get through the first stages of my life without a thyroid in the best way possible. This endo has 5-star reviews, people just praising the way she changed lives and helped them through their situations. So I booked my appointment. I had my little journal ready to write down notes, I had questions I was ready to ask because I didn’t know what I needed to do to lose weight and that was forefront on my mind at the time. This was before I felt like shit, I still had hope I was always going to feel even half the amount of energy I still felt so I was genuinely naive about the whole thing.

The day of my appointment comes and I leave work early so that I can drive straight to the endo’s office and get there a little early to fill out paperwork.  I get there and I notice the building is nice and I can tell this office has good visitation so that makes me feel even better about my choice to come here. Everyone looked happy and they were smiling, so I kept telling myself this is it. Only… I just didn’t feel right. I kept telling myself I was overthinking things which I always have the bad habit of doing so I shut off the voice in my head and waited until my name was called for my turn to be seen. 

What the hell kind of endo is this??

After getting my blood pressure checked and being told that my heart rate was at 125bpm and waiting 10 more minutes, in walks a tiny lady who would be my new endo. The endo has a foreign accent and talks very fast so from the get-go I was having trouble understanding her. For privacy, I will call her Dr. Hollis. Dr. Hollis tells me about my blood tests and I know this because she is showing me the physical tests on her laptop although I can’t understand what she’s saying, I don’t know what any of it means, and she’s not slowing down to explain it either. 

Then she stops and starts scrolling through my chart and I see her eyebrow perk up and she looks at me and says “you had thyroid cancer, why aren’t you taking care of yourself, your blood tests are unacceptable!” Holy Shit I almost had a meltdown in that room. It took everything in me not to get up and flip her off and walk out of that room. 

I answered pissed off and if I could have chopped off her head with my eyes I would have. “I am here because I don’t know anything about my condition, and as my endocrinologist, you are here to help me figure this out right?” Wow, talk about a match made in patient/doctor relationship heaven.  That conversation set the tone for a year of care from her. In that year, I saw her 6 times. She had my thyroid medication Synthroid dose at 175mcg, and to counter the heart rate I was on 25mg of Atenolol. She would not lower my dose of Synthroid because all she would tell me was that the “cancer would come back” if my dose was lowered.

When I can no longer ignore my negative relationship with my doctor…

In October of 2019, I met with the endo to review my latest set of blood tests and she gave me the grim news that it looked like cancer had returned. Can you imagine the horror I felt when she said that to me? My blood tests were showing something in my blood so I was probably going to go through radiation again and if that didn’t work I was going to have to have neck surgery and remove any lymph nodes left and any tissue that may be lingering in my thyroid bed. I mean it was just that cut and dry. Again, when I would ask her to explain things to me it would take extra dedication from me to sit and listen intently and ask extra questions about what I THINK she was telling me because she was hard to understand. She told me I would need to do another Radioactive Iodine Uptake Test and depending on the results I would need to do radiation. I stopped her before she could say anything else, I said no. 

I told her I would not be doing any more radiation. I was done drinking poison only to feel worse. This was the good cancer it wasn’t supposed to ever make an appearance again. And here I am getting ready for round two. Nope. I was going to do things my way and I would come back to get the MRI in three months. She looked at me and said “ok”. So just OK. An endo who doesn’t try to tell you about why it would be dangerous not to do treatment and go nomad may not have your best interests in mind. Also, a doctor who pushes you to do a certain treatment and does not try to listen to the options you think might work may also not have your best interest in mind. Keep that in the back of your head when being “ordered” to do something. 

My family was worried about me. They were worried that I had said no to radiation, but they were also worried if I did do it. They were stuck as I was stuck about this whole thing but I deserved a chance to try something else. I tried a holistic approach and dedicated the next 3 months to meditation and cleansing my body of toxins.  I scheduled the MRI after 3 months and it came back cancer-free. No cancer cells showed up. It is February of 2021 and to this day I have not had to do radiation again and I hope to keep that going. 

After that, I switched to another endo. When she told me that there was a great possibility that I would have to do radiation again, everything about her energy gave me NO HOPE. NONE AT ALL. I don’t need anyone like that in my life and none of you do either. I removed her negativity and surrounded myself with the help and love of those who believed in me. If your endo isn’t someone you can count on, I hope you have a way of finding one who is a blessing and not a burden to you.  

Finding an endo that cares enough to stop me from giving myself a heart attack…

Again I looked for a year for an endo. My thyroid medications had refills so I wasn’t worried about getting those, but I knew it was probably time to get my blood checked again. I needed to make up my mind about an endo. I had found one that I was feeling good about, but after this nightmare experience, I was afraid of what I was going to walk into. 

When I finally met my new endo, he was the complete opposite of what I had experienced. He took his time to answer my questions and took blood tests on the spot. I have a confession to make, because I was never able to get any help with the chronic fatigue I was experiencing, I started taking Armour thyroid along with my Synthroid. I did this all on my own out of desperation and didn’t think that I was probably killing myself. I told my new endo this and he was naturally alarmed. I had lost a great amount of weight, I couldn’t sleep at all, I was shaky all the time but the worst part was my heart. I was putting myself at risk of heart failure and I didn’t even know it. I felt really stupid. 

He has helped me realize the importance of my situation, and I no longer take any medication without a prescription from him first. Finding this endo has helped me understand why my dose needed to be lowered and how keeping me at such a high dose was putting me at risk of death already. I am not 100% better but I do feel a lot better now. It’s a work in progress but now I have hope where before I didn’t. The doctor also explained to me that my situation with cancer is not one that will just disappear which was how it was explained to me before. I will always need to find ways to keep it at bay… that is my realistic future and that’s the type of honesty that your medical providers need to give you. Everyone is different and no situation is the same so although I don’t doubt my previous endo was and is great for her patients now, she was not the one for me. 

Your endo is very important to your well being. The endocrinologist has the power to stunt your progress or make it grow by leaps and bounds so ask questions freely and openly, let him/her know how serious you are about your personal situation and that you want to be actively involved in getting better. 

Find an endocrinologist in your area: 

AACE - Find an Endocrinologist Near You

Find an Endocrinologist

[phandom-against-onision]

You have probably already informed yourself, but here is a masterlist anyway.

MAJOR CONTENT WARNINGS: BLACKFACE, SLURS, RACIST COMMENTS, CHILD PREDATORY COMMENTS, NSFW CONTENT, BEASTIALITY, TRANSPHOBIA, MISHANDLING OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, OUTING AND MORE! PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Shane Dawson has been shown to mock black people on several occasions, saying the n word, doing blackface and creating stereotypical recurring characters.

When beginning on YouTube, Shane had a character called “Shanaynay” who was supposed to be a “ghetto-white girl”. When playing her, Shane often used ghetto stereotypes. She was a recurring character from 2008-2011. Although he has long stopped playing this character, he was continuing to sell the merch and profit off his racism as recently as last year!

He has also done blackface in his character skits, and said the n word as Shanaynay. On one of these occasions, he called an actual black woman a “n*gga bitch monkey woman”. Watch the full video for all occasions.

Here are some additional comments on this matter.

-

Shane Dawson has acted inappropriately with and around minors for a long time.

He has probably done this even more than his blackface, and that’s saying something.

This clip, which went around last year, contains him calling a 6-year-old child sexy and admitting to googling CP. This is from his Shane and Friends podcast, which contains a lot of explicit clips.

He has also asked his teenage fan to “show herself” and “shut up and twerk”. This is from 3:55 - 4:29 in this video.

One of the instances really going around on Twitter at the moment is him pretending to jerk off to a picture of the then-11 year old Willow Smith.

A reminder that her family has not forgiven him, so neither should you!

Honestly, there are way too many occasions of this. Please check out this Twitter thread which lists a lot of times he has made inappropriate comments and did inappropriate things.

Another very distasteful thing he has done is claim to solve the murder of an actual six-year-old child, profiting off “speaking” to her spirit.

-

Shane Dawson has joked about bestiality on camera multiple times.

This is just straight-up weird. It went around a lot last year, but in case you’ve forgotten, here is a playlist of a few clips. He also rubbed his face in his dog’s crotch but I can’t find a direct video of that by itself.

-

Shane Dawson is transphobic as hell.

Watch this full video for the details where he uses trans as an insult and says tr*nny while knowing it is a derogatory term.

-

Shane Dawson has promoted and supported terrible people and channels.

This has been a long-time criticism of his viral documentary series, but it is still important to remember.

Let’s start with the problems with this in chronological order. 

His first viral documentary series was The Truth about Tanacon.

Tanacon, to begin with, had several issues. Despite big dreams, it failed spectacularly due to lack of organisation and preparation before the event. There were many last minute changes and it generally lacked several necessities in events. Some issues were disorganised registrations, reserved meet and greets that didn’t go through the system, clashings with VidCon (a bigger event), inappropriate content creators, adversied content creators that didn’t appear, condoms in the goodie bag, lies about free tickets, no food, no room for anything, one hallway, lack of regulation in wristbands, underestimation of guests, overly expensive merch, no cooling system, no fire solutions (meaning they kicked everyone out) and it goes on. 

Despite actual people suffering due to the incompetency of Tana, Shane made her out to be an innocent martyr. This gets even worse as you realise than Tana has been exposed for several racist comments throughout her YouTube career.

Shane is clearly shown to be a terrible interviewer, presenting more as a friend than someone who is willing to find the “truth” of Tanacon. Instead of learning about Tanacon from an unbiased journalist, we get an obscured version of what happened, engineered to sympathise with Tana instead of her admitting to her mistakes.

Yet, this somehow was only the beginning of the problems with the documentary series, as the next one was with Jeffree Starr.

I don’t even know where to begin with the problems with this.

Firstly, Jeffree is perhaps the most problematic YouTuber who is still popular on the website. He has been exposed as racist, sexist, supporting of rapists, terrible to fans, transphobic, ableist, fatphobic, homophobic, insensitive to suicidal people, sexualising of minors, fascist and violent. Check out this thread here for the full details and proof of these claims.

Shane is not stupid. He is aware of these controversies, but has continued to support Jeffree. When a fan called him out, he was extremely rude and was very mad, and supporting all the hate the fan was getting.

The entire documentary series is about him befriending Jeffree, and making him out to be a good person. 

Jeffree should NOT be given a positive platform like this, and he should NOT be continuing to get away with being “cancelled”. So many other YouTubers have been “cancelled” for lesser things, yet Jeffree manages to always get away with it.

The next documentary series was the Jake Paul series. This is perhaps his most controversial documentary series.

Shane is not a therapist, a psychiatrist or a mental health professional. Even though he did consult some people, they are not allowed to diagnose people based on suspicions and videos. Yet, throughout the entire series, he calls Jake Paul a sociopath, and using that label to justify everything he has done.

Jake and Logan have both stirred up some of the biggest controversies on the platform, yet Shane gave them the ability to thrive. Like he did with Tana and Jeffree, he humanised him and edited it to the audience would sympathise with Jake. He has been exposed to scam his young fans, been rude to his neighbours and cast members, made light of serious disorders like anxiety, saying the n word and doing several things for clout, such as “marrying” Tana Mongeau.

As addressed in the documentary series, Alissa Violet, Jake’s ex-girlfriend, has shared her stories of physical abuse in the Team 10 mansion in private life, yet Shane did not fully address this or even mention this to Jake in the episode after. This further proves that Shane is incapable of running a documentary series with such deep themes as he will gloss over them or not address them properly.

This issue is further seen in his documentary with Eugenia Cooney.

A warning that I have not actually seen this as I have heard it contains triggering subject material which I do not wish to subject myself to in interests for my personal mental health - I am only going off the statements of experts and viewers.

In theory, this documentary could have been brilliant. After all, it is two people who have gone/is going through eating disorders and discussing it. However, experts have said that this could be harmful and it is easy to see why.

As much as I do not like Shane, I, and experts, do believe that he had good intentions behind this documentary. However, it probably would have been better if they consulted an expert regularly throughout the documentary when handling a touchy subject. After all, many of Shane’s viewers are young and/or influential, and a correct portrayal of a subject which is terrifying and real to many people watching is very important.

Here is an excerpt from this article about how he handled this:

Other fans were concerned with Cooney's safety, given that she referred to having an eating disorder in the past tense, signaling that she may not be considering further treatment.

"She certainly looks like she is physically healthier, but mentally she still seems like she's struggling a lot and she tries to cover it with her overwhelming positivity," another comment on the video says.

Experts who spoke with INSIDER — and who have not personally treated Cooney — are wary of considering Cooney's treatment a success story.

"When we are in the midst of our eating disorder we are very, very good at wearing masks. We're very good at playing a role that is very convincing and wants to let people know that we're okay," Chevese Turner, the Chief Strategy & Policy Officer for the National Eating Disorders Association, told INSIDER."A month of treatment is just barely scratching the surface of the road to recovery. While she put on a good face and was very chipper and cheerful, I'm not convinced that's what's going on inside. How do any of us know for sure?"

While both experts told INSIDER they believe Dawson had good intentions, they also expressed numerous concerns with the way the video presented the reality of eating disorders, and Cooney's recovery in particular. Turner says having Cooney share her story could be very cathartic, but she worries how much of her appearance was intended to resurrect or preserve her career."What's essentially happening is that people are bullying her online for her looks and her body and that does have an impact, it impacts all of us when that happens. For someone with an eating disorder, the impact can be devastating. I think [Dawson is] trying to help in his own way, but probably the thing that would help the most is her having more time in recovery," Turner said.

"I don't want to speculate, but obviously her success on YouTube is a driving factor to get back to work. None of us know if she's fully capable for that work and I would want to believe that the people around her who care about her most are confident that she can handle it," she continued. "I hope that they'll encourage her to take a break."

Overall, it has been shown that Shane is unfit to handle a documentary series with his evidently extremely biased views, and he should consult more professionals when editing. Although many people would argue that he has good intentions, it is possible to have good intentions while being irresponsible. Shane is aware of his large audience, and his influence over people around the globe. He should be more careful when creating a video with strong themes which many viewers may be suffering through or offended by. 

Either than his documentary series, Shane is also friends with other problematic people outside it - most infamously, Trisha Paytas. 

Trisha Paytas’ brand has become being extremely controversial. However, this doesn’t excuse that she has done and should not normalise her behaviours. She has been proved to be very transphobic and homophobic, as well as racist, ableist, abusive and insensitive to people with mental illnesses and disorders, notably DID. She lives to stir up drama on YouTube and more recently, TikTok. Despite being aware of this, Shane has continued to be close friends with her and excusing what she does because she’s just Trisha.

He has also openly supported far-right people on Twitter, giving harmful conspiracies a platform on his channel.

-

Shane Dawson has contributed to destroying growing/popular channels.

When 20-year-old growing YouTuber Bobby Burns released a video giving valid criticism to Shane Dawson, Shane featured him on his channel and pushed him as a heater.

This was not a thing which only happened once. Shane decided to continue to feature him on his channel, branding him as a hater. However, Shane’s dedicated fanbase did not like this and began to send hate to Bobby. Due to the lack of popularity, Shane stopped interacting with Bobby and didn’t feature him in any more videos without attempting to “save his career” like he has done with so many other people.

That is not to say that Bobby is faultless. I am not that familiar with his content, but I have heard that he did contribute to his channel’s demise, which makes sense. However, as a huge content creator, it was irresponsible of Shane to take a growing channel and brand him as a negative hater. He is aware of his audience, and that is important to remember. When he has such a large fanbase, he needs to be more careful with the videos he is showing them, and the characterisations of YouTubers.

However, what Shane is going under fire most recently is his involvement in the James Charles scandal last year.

Despite denial, Shane has been proved to play an important role in the “cancelling” of James last year, encouraging Tati to upload the video and making false accusations of predatory behaviour. This was highly likely done to degrade a competitor’s palette so his collaboration with Jeffree would be more successful.

Recently, he posted these screenshots on Twitter and then deleted the Tweet.

This proves his blatant immaturity. Somehow, James, the youngest of the four YouTubers involved in the scandal, has grown up the most. Shane was a part of the downfall of James, causing him to debate suicide. His defence for this was saying that he “needed to be served a slice of humble pie the size of the fucking Empire State Building”.

James Charles is not faultless, and he should not be made out to be an angel or a martyr in this situation. However, no one deserves to have suicidal thoughts, and anyone who defends this by saying that it was the humbling he needed is disgusting.

-

Shane Dawson attempted to out Dan and Phil for views and clout.

As a bisexual man who has opened up about his fear of being outed when he was closeted, he should be ashamed of everything he did to Dan and Phil.

Like many YouTubers at the time, Shane used the Phandom to get views and subscribers. In doing this, he objectified and sexualised Dan to his young and influential audience. Check out this video where he said that he wanted to facefuck Dan in an orgy while watching a video where he just turned 18. In that clip, he also split up Dan and Phil into “cute” and “not cute”. 

It even went to the point where he asked the Psychic Twins about the sexuality of Dan and Phil. In this clip, he accuses them of queerbaiting as well as supporting the Psychic Twins’ invasive and insensitive comments about them not dressing gay enough, diss of them refusing to go on their podcast and outing and stereotyping them. This was as recent as 2017.

-

There are actually a lot of other reasons why Shane is under a lot of controversy at the moment. Here were my sources, and some further reading for anyone interested:

THE PROBLEM WITH SHANE DAWSON: a thread

shane dawson sexualizing young children: a thread

One of YouTube's biggest stars made a viral 'documentary' about another YouTuber's eating disorder. Experts say it could be harmful for its subject and audience.

Jake Paul tried to use looting for YouTube views, and is facing charges. These are all the ways the controversial star has stirred up outrage in the past.

Trisha Paytas’ racism

THE PROBLEM WITH JEFFREE STAR: a thread

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TANACON: an ongoing thread

So what from here? Shane has released an apology video, but words don’t mean anything without action. Here are some suggestions for what he could do to actually show further improvement.

He could stop doing conspiracy videos in the harmful and biased style he is known for, and delete his videos despite the views.

He could stop being friends with such toxic and controversial people.

He could donate his money and time to helping out the #BlackLivesMatter movement, and to black charities/organisations in general. It does not negate what he has done, and it is not in my place to forgive him if he does do that, but it would represent his improvement.

He could formally apologise to the parents and the family of the children he has sexualised.

But he will probably not do that. However, as a hater of cancel culture, I hope that he does improve as a person. It is not my goal to send hate, but to inform people. Sending Shane death threats or insensitive comments are the last things we need. To criticise him for doing that, then doing it yourself is hypocritical and harmful. Instead, we’ll just have to inform ourselves and wait for the future.

[tinyshe]

The Great Reset Demands Firing All Unvaccinated Employees Analysis by Dr. Joseph Mercola

Story at-a-glance

The Great Reset has been called a conspiracy theory by many, despite specific plans published on the World Economic Forum (WEF) website and partnerships between the WEF and global organizations like the United Nations and World Health Organization

An investigative report asserts that the ongoing restructuring of processes that control food and data are upending traditional practices so private corporations have more control and influence than democratically elected government

A part of the Great Reset is a reset of the economy, including jobs. Many across the U.S. are facing unemployment if they do not choose to take a genetic therapy experiment in the form of a COVID-19 vaccine

Employees of six major hospitals in Cincinnati, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit, hoping to stop the mandated vaccine, which health experts are promoting with inconsistent messages, first claiming it does not stop community transmission; yet, requiring it for employment under the guise of preventing the spread of infection

Over the past year and a half, I’ve written many articles detailing the evidence supporting the claim that the COVID pandemic is a ruse to usher in a new system of global centralized governance by unelected leaders, the so-called Great Reset.

The recent release of the House Foreign Affairs Committee report1 entitled, “The Origins of COVID-19: An Investigation of the Wuhan Institute of Virology,” presented solid evidence that many of the “conspiracy theories” about the virus were in fact true. For example, using some intelligence reports and other public documents, the committee found that:2

“… we now believe it’s time to completely dismiss the wet market as the source of the outbreak. We also believe the preponderance of the evidence proves the virus did leak from the WIV and that it did so sometime before September 12, 2019.”

They presented evidence of genetic modification and wrote this:3

“This report also lays out ample evidence that researchers at the WIV, in conjunction with U.S. scientists and funded by both the PRC [People’s Republic of China] government and the U.S. government, were conducting gain of-function research on coronaviruses at the WIV …

In many instances, the scientists were successful in creating 'chimeric viruses' — or viruses created from the pieces of other viruses — that could infect human immune systems.

With dangerous research like this conducted at safety levels similar to a dentist’s office, a natural or genetically modified virus could have easily escaped the lab and infected the community.”

The idea of the Great Reset may feel like a conspiracy theory, especially if life as you know it where you live has not dramatically changed. You still go to work, buy food, go to the gym, go out to eat and attend events. There may be people wearing masks, and you may see or hear news reports about vaccine mandates and vaccine passports, but it hasn’t reached your employer and you may not be personally affected … yet.

But, make no mistake, unless we all do our part to peacefully protest the changes being planned, write to our legislatures, and talk to our neighbors and friends, what is happening in New York,4 France,5 Germany6 and Israel,7 will soon be knocking on your front door.

Does ‘Great Reset’ Sound Like a Conspiracy? It May Be Worse

An article titled, “Welcome To 2030: I Own Nothing, Have No Privacy and Life Has Never Been Better” appeared in Forbes Magazine8 in November 2016. It was written by Ida Auken, a member of the Denmark Parliament9 and agenda contributor at the World Economic Forum (WEF).10

The article was frightening in the simplistic way it describes the dissolution of society as we know it. And, as time marches forward, we see more evidence of what the WEF has proposed as “perfect sense”11 coming true.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau suggested in September 2020 what other world leaders have also promoted12 — that the COVID-19 virus, that has killed and devastated the health of many people, provided the world is an:13

"… opportunity for a reset ... our chance to accelerate our pre-pandemic efforts to re-imagine economic systems that actually address global challenges like extreme poverty, inequality and climate change."

More than 20 world leaders came together to suggest, "At a time when COVID-19 has exploited our weaknesses and divisions, we must seize this opportunity and come together as a global community for peaceful cooperation that extends beyond this crisis."14 And while that sounds noble, altruistic and humanitarian, it is the plan for the future that is in stark contrast to the statement.

Ivan Wecke, a journalist from Open Democracy, did a deep dive into some of what lies behind the WEF’s Great Reset plan and found what he called something “almost as sinister hiding in plain sight. In fact, more sinister because it’s real and it’s happening now. And it involves things as fundamental as our food, our data and our vaccines.”15

Although Wecke discounts the plans of the Great Reset to abolish private property, use the virus to solve overpopulation and enslave the remainder of humanity as “nebulous and hard to pin down,” he goes on to illustrate in detail how the fundamental structure of the world that controls food and data, and ultimately humanity, is being upended and restructured so that private corporations have more control and influence than governments.

WEF Calls It ‘Stakeholder Capitalism’

It comes down to “stakeholder capitalism,” which are the magic words that Klaus Schwab, WEF chairman, has been promoting for decades, and is a central theme in the organization's Great Reset plan.16 The concept as Wecke describes it is to transform global capitalism, so corporations create value for stakeholders.17

These stakeholders can be consumers, employees, communities and others. This will be carried out through multi-stakeholder partnerships of governments and private-sector businesses across the globe. As he dug deeper into the concept, it became more apparent that this means giving corporations more power and taking that influence away from democratically elected institutions.

The initial plan was drafted after the 2008 economic crisis and included the vision that governments around the world would be only one influencer in a multi-stakeholder model. When he asked himself who would be the other nongovernmental stakeholders, Wecke only had to look at the WEF partners that meet each year in Davos, Switzerland.

These partners are some of the biggest companies in oil, food, technology and pharmaceuticals. In other words, the companies that could ultimately restructure society and control the supply chain are those that provide everyday necessities. These proposed concepts appear to have started taking shape in a strategic partnership agreement which the WEF signed with the United Nations in 2019.

Harris Gleckman, senior fellow at the Center for Governance and Sustainability from the University of Massachusetts18 calls this move an inroad to creating a place for corporations inside the United Nations.19

The WEF is using the concept of multi-stakeholders to change the current system that countries use today to work together. This multilateral system may not always be effective and may have too many layers of bureaucracy, but Wecke says it is “theoretically democratic because it brings together democratically elected leaders of countries to make decisions in the global arena.”20

Big Tech May Run the Roadmap for Digital Cooperation

What’s really happening here, though, is the move toward placing unelected stakeholders in positions of power does not deepen democracy but, rather, puts decision making in the hands of financially focused corporations. As Wecke points out, this will have real-world implications for how medications are distributed, food systems are organized and how Big Tech is governed.

Under a democratic rule of law, six corporations already control 90% of the news media consumed by Americans. Tech Startups calls this an “illusion of choice and objectivity.”21 How much more propaganda will be thrown in the face of consumers when Big Tech is monitoring and controlling Big Tech?

The year 2030 holds significance for the WEF’s vision22 which is to scale technology and facilitate “inclusive growth.” In the fall of 2021, the UN will bring together the Food Systems Summit to achieve sustainable development goals by 2030.23 Yet, Sofia Monsalve of FIAN International, a human rights organization focused on food and nutrition, told Wecke:24

“’Abandoning pesticides is not on the table. How come?’ asks Sofia Monsalve of FIAN International, a human rights organisation focused on food and nutrition.

'There is no discussion on land concentration or holding companies accountable for their environmental and labour abuses.’ This fits into a bigger picture Monsalve sees of large corporations, which dominate the food sector, being reluctant to fix the production system. ‘They just want to come up with new investment opportunities.’”

Wecke also dug into a long list of participants in the 2020 Roadmap For Digital Cooperation25 and found influencers included Microsoft, Google, Facebook and the WEF.26 The functions for the group appear to be vague, but if the group comes to fruition, it will be a decisive victory for those Big Tech companies that have been pushing to expand their power,27 are fighting antitrust rules28 and are facing accusations of tax evasion.29

The move by the UN and WEF has not gone unnoticed. A group of more than 170 civil organizations have signed an open letter30 detailing why they oppose the plan. At a time when stronger regulations are needed to protect consumers, it appears that the new UN digital roadmap may be seeking less.

Firing the Unvaccinated Is the Start of the Great Job Reset

Finally, Wecke addresses the issue of global vaccine distribution.31 Instead of the World Health Organization, which is “the directing and coordinating authority for health within the United Nations system,”32 being responsible for vaccine access, another initiative was created called COVAX. According to the WHO, COVAX is co-led by the WHO, UNICEF, CEPI and GAVI.33

As a quick reminder, GAVI (the Vaccine Alliance) and CEPI (Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness Innovations) have strong ties with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and the WEF and are connected with large pharmaceutical companies such as Pfizer, AstraZeneca and more.34

The influence these groups have on the global distribution of the COVID vaccine may have been best illustrated when South Africa and India requested a temporary lift on the rules governing intellectual property to increase manufacturing and distribution to developing countries. Wecke reports35 that although the WHO director-general publicly said that he backed a proposal, others in the COVAX initiative strongly opposed it, and it didn’t happen.

There appears to be enough vaccines available in industrialized nations for the WEF to support any and all employees being fired if they choose not to take the vaccine. The National File36 published a tweet the WEF made in May 2021 which said, “Get your COVID-19 jab — or you could face consequences from your employer #COVID19 #JobsReset21.”

Additionally, the WEF had posted an article37 on their website that made a variety of claims about the percentage of companies that would require employees to be vaccinated and juxtaposed mental health concerns and burnout through the pandemic with being unvaccinated in the article.

After intense backlash, the tweet was deleted and replaced with a question, “Will employees be required to get the COVID-19 vaccination?”38 The new post quickly filled with screen shots of the original post.

Two Cities Promising to Fire Employees

Even before the FDA announced their approval of the Pfizer vaccine,39 Cincinnati, Ohio, area hospital systems had announced that starting October 1, 2021, all health care workers and volunteers are required to be vaccinated. Among those participating in the vaccine mandate are the University of Cincinnati Health, Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center and the Christ Hospital Health Network.40

Health care workers in Cincinnati have now filed a lawsuit against six of the hospital systems saying requiring vaccines for employment is unlawful and violates workers’ Constitutional rights. The lawsuit says, "When there was no vaccine, the workers had to go to work. They were heroes. Now that there is a vaccine, they have to get the vaccine or be fired. Now they are ‘zeros.’"41

April Hoskins is a lab assistant at St. Elizabeth Edgewood who has worked for 20 years in family practice and hospital oncology. She told a reporter from WLWT5,42 "You've trusted us this whole time to take care of these patients, unvaccinated, without the proper PPE. And now out of nowhere, you have to get it or you're going to be terminated? Like, something is wrong with that picture.”

August 23, 2021, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that all public school teachers and staff would be required to have at least one dose of the vaccine by September 27, 2021, or they would no longer have a job. Not soon afterward, the United Federation of Teachers union issued a statement from union president Michael Mulgrew reiterating their desire and priority to keep the students and teachers safe. He went on to say:43

“While the city is asserting its legal authority to establish this mandate, there are many implementation details, including provisions for medical exceptions, that by law must be negotiated with the UFT and other unions, and if necessary, resolved by arbitration."

It Is Important to Point Out the Inconsistencies

This was the second announcement from de Blasio, who first mandated vaccinations for approximately 400,000 employees in the Department of Education, New York Police Department and the Fire Department of New York.44 In tandem with New York, California Long Beach Unified School District also announced mandatory vaccinations, as has Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot for all Chicago Public School employees by October 15, 2021.

New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy also announced mandatory vaccinations or twice-weekly testing requirements for all state employees, effective October 18. It is clear that as different states and municipalities add their own mandates, it’s essential to be aware of what is happening in your local and regional areas, as well as to speak up at public meetings and demand public hearings on the matter.

The mayor of Orland Park, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, describes an example of how decisions behind closed doors can have a different outcome than those in public.45 He also says what is happening now is about “our processes, Constitutionality and the rule of law.”

The inconsistencies from health experts are deafening. Even the World Health Organization advises people who are vaccinated to continue wearing masks due to the Delta variant because “vaccine alone won’t stop community transmission.”46 Simultaneously, the public is told that everyone needs the vaccine to prevent spread of the infection47 and if you have the vaccine, you can still spread the virus and put others at risk.48

Each person has a responsibility to speak up, share information and ensure that as people make up their minds about vaccination, vaccine passports, civil liberties and the right to free speech, they have all the information they need and not just what’s shared in mainstream media.

To that end, I encourage you to share my articles with your friends and family. As you know, they are removed from the website 48 hours after publication. Please copy and paste the information, with the sources, and share it!

[lightsandlostbells]

wtFOCK season 3, episode 2 reaction

In this episode, stuff ... happens ... in theory? Reminder again that negative opinions lie within, don’t read if you would prefer not to hear them.

EPISODE 2

Clip 1 - Morning after housewarming party

Zoë shows Robbe around the kitchen the night after the party, Senne goes off to “drink coffee in a clean room - it wasn’t my party” so there’s a moment of awkwardness with Zoë, I guess? I will say this: I’m not a Noorhelm fan, but I don’t mind seeing them being actually domestic instead of pointless drama, and while I don’t want the season to focus a ton on it, I don’t mind seeing drama that’s more grounded and less terrible than William and all the Nikolai rape response stuff.

A random dude who’s a one-night stand of Milan’s appears in the kitchen and Robbe and Zoë giggle. I was going to say that I wish Robbe appeared maybe a little more thrown/uncomfortable with it, or awkward, but then you can see him looking at the guy … considering … like maybe “hey I liked seeing that dude in his underwear” or just “hmmm wonder what it would be like to have a one-night stand with a man … gay thoughts can’t catch me” so like. An actual good moment! If they had combined this into episode 1, it would’ve really worked well and got us into Robbe’s attraction to men right off the bat.

But hey, both can happen! Show Robbe as awkward when confronted with proof of Milan’s gayness, yes sir there is man-fucking happening under this roof, and then at the end, have his discomfort turn to slight interest at the dude in his underwear. Robbe is conflicted in that he’s not comfortable with all this gay stuff, but at the same time, he can’t help but be intrigued.

On the one hand I think it helps to have the Isak more socially isolated at the start, but I do think Robbe and Zoë are really cute pals so far.

Clip 2 - Robbe and Noor in store (heh)

Robbe goes to meet Noor at work, she works in retail at a clothing store. They smile and make out. ...Why? Why is he actively pursuing her?

From a narrative perspective, pretend I don’t know where this season is going. Pretend I don’t know we are actually headed for a gay romance - which, hey, is kinda fair because we haven’t even met the male love interest yet. I am getting very mixed messages as to what Robbe wants. He seems to like this girl! But he didn’t want to have sex with her. OK… so maybe he’s asexual, or maybe he’s just not ready for sex. Maybe he feels nervous or like he has no idea what he’s doing because he’s a virgin, IDK. Perhaps we need to establish more clearly that Robbe’s hesitation in having sex or going farther with Noor is due to his lack of interest in girls, contrasted with his interest in guys. 

Of course, I know internalized homophobia is a thing, and that Isak did the same thing with Emma. But consider that we actively saw how his pursuit of her clashed with his inner feelings - we saw him try to avoid her, we saw his lack of interest in the bathroom or at kosegruppa , especially compared to his interest in Even, OR when he did pursue her, we saw him pressured by his friends to attend her party, or we saw him have to psych himself up in order to speak to her. There was contrast all the time. And we also saw a clear cause and effect when Isak did pursue her: Isak was Googling about how to be into girls when you’re gay. It was very clear that Isak’s external actions were at odds with his internal desires. I’m not saying that we need wtFOCK to spell out the same for Robbe. HOWEVER, we do need more to go off, because otherwise this reads as a teenage boy who likes a girl, but who isn’t super into sex with her, which could result from several reasons other than him being gay.

And yeah, there are a few moments where we tentatively broach the topic of gayness. But not many! As I mentioned previously those moments are also muddled with other issues, like the guys ditching Robbe for the girls is muddled with him being sad about his mom. Him apologizing to Milan is muddled with what could genuinely be an awkward moment, like Robbe could hypothetically be a straight dude who didn’t have the best reaction to a guy trying to kiss him? It seems like the most definitive evidence of Robbe being gay was in previous seasons, not this one.

But they’re making it feel like Robbe really likes Noor. They’re not selling me on where Robbe is in his journey. Is he trying to act straight for an audience, as Isak did? That makes no sense when he’s going out with Noor on his own, with none of his boys around. Is he in denial? Is he trying to act straight for his own sake? That makes more sense, but that’s when I really need more introspective Robbe POV. And I’m a big fan of show don’t tell, yet Isak’s season managed to be so subtle about it while making it obvious what his deal was, infusing every clip with the themes, letting us know what’s in Isak’s head. I have no idea what’s in Robbe’s head right now.

I guess maybe he went to visit Noor because Milan’s one night stand man gave him gay feelings and he needed to combat them? IDK, dude.

Anyway, Jana is there shopping and Noor drags Robbe into a changing stall, they make out, Jana interrupts to get Noor’s opinion. Robbe seems less enthusiastic but waits in the stall until Noor returns. Noor comes back in and she and Robbe make out, getting hot and heavy, borderline foreplay until Jana needs her help again. Robbe seems unenthusiastic. Noor goes back to work. Robbe gets a text from his mom asking why he doesn’t visit, does he not love her. Ouch! That’s actually a good moment for the family drama. Robbe looks conflicted.

Also, I like the shot of Robbe reflecting in the changing room mirrors. 

What was the point of this scene when the EXACT SAME THING happened in the last episode, just two clips ago? Noor tries to get it on with Robbe, he’s not into it, they’re interrupted. 

Was the point to have Jana there? Why is she there, anyway, is this going to be a plot point? Because she could have been the one to interrupt them last time if she needs to know about their relationship for some reason. Although everyone seems to know about Robbe/Noor getting together anyway, so ??? Was it to have someone interrupt them in the changing stall? Because that could have been any random customer who needed help. I mean, Noor’s manager could have yelled for her to come help with something.

The only thing that’s really different about this clip was the text from his mom, which could have occurred in ANY setting, like in the kitchen scene with Zoë.

Jana could have been there to reference her previous suspicion of Robbe’s sexuality, like she sees him and Noor and we can tell she doesn’t fully buy their relationship. But that doesn’t come through in the acting (no disrespect to the actress, because that is all on the director to come up with that angle). Or maybe Jana calling for Noor to help her could have seemed more calculated, like maybe Robbe seemed awkward with Noor, she picked up on that, and now she’s trying to help him out.

A small POV moment: we don’t need to see Jana and Noor outside the changing stall. It’s not necessary, their conversation has zero importance (like was this an ad for this clothing store or....) What would have been effective? Sitting with Robbe inside the stall, focusing on his miserable reaction, seeing him trying to psych himself up for Noor makeouts. We hear Jana and Noor talking outside the stall but it comes across as distant and detached - which is what Robbe is feeling. 

Clip 3 - Robbe goes to see his mom

We see Robbe in the hallway of the hospital - an actual good moment, potentially. He apologizes to Noor via text for leaving suddenly. She’s working, dude, you shouldn’t be there anyway.

I don’t mind Robbe meeting with his mom, that could be very good, but it’s also such a radical change that I hope they actually do something with it. If Robbe is willing to visit his mom in a mental health facility, then is he more informed about mental illness in general, and how will that affect his relationship with the Even? Etc. This is actually a big change from Isak’s attitudes about mental illness, and it doesn’t make as much sense for Robbe to parrot those same ignorant attitudes later. (EDIT from the future: lol) 

Robbe gets home from meeting with his mom. He tries to dodge Zoë’s questions about it, but she says, “You can try it with Jens and them, but not with me.” Well, on the one hand, I like Zoë and this is a nice relationship. On the other hand … uhhh, how close are she and Robbe yet, really? They’re getting friendly but are they at this level? 

Robbe is like, you don’t know how long this has been going on and Zoë apologizes. I do like that Zoë doesn’t really know what’s up and is giving him kinda generic advice? But also … I think part of the power of the Magnus talk was that Isak had been keeping the extent of his mom issues and his issues with mentally ill people to himself, when all this time he had a friend who understood. One of S3′s lessons for Isak was about opening up to people - that he wasn’t alone - and Magnus’ insight into having a mentally ill parent is one of the ways that lesson proves itself. For Robbe to be getting a pep talk about supporting mentally ill people so early on in the season seems like it could potentially undermine both the arc with his mother AND his relationship with Even, like … he’s had someone counseling him on dealing with mentally ill people all along, before he even meets his Even. I mean, Zoë basically gives the Sonja talk here. And now he’s also been in regular contact with his mentally ill mom. So while of course he can still have serious issues with mentally ill people, it does present quite differently from someone who’s been keeping them at arm’s length, like Isak. You have to account for that. (EDIT from the future: lol)

Milan comes in with his boytoy, Milan sprays whipped cream in his man’s mouth, they kiss.  This was done well, actually, because Robbe is shown in between them, and we see him taking them in, like … huh, two men kissing! Interesting! 

Robbe has a Moment and Zoë asks Milan and the guy to stop with the PDA. He calls out her hypocrisy since she’s always making out with Senne. (He’s right based on what we saw of them earlier.)

OK, Senne opening his mouth so Milan can spray whipped cream inside is actually adorable, and I kinda dig having an Eskild and a William interact in an affectionate way. 

Robbe watches the men kissing again, hmmmm. Good job, this is what we need from his POV.

Senne is leaving to go hang out with his pal. Zoë seems kinda sad he’s not eating with them. I mean all things considered, taking it at face value so far, this seems like normal couple shit and not something to make a big deal out of. Things change when you move in together or when one of you goes to university, duh. Not that it’s bad to explore this, just that it’s not a huge cause for concern yet.

I laughed because the subs say that Zoë describes the salad as “lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese” and that is definitely not what we see on screen. But at least Zoë being fussy over what Robbe eats is some good characterization, it makes sense for her.

Clip 4 - Skate park

The boys are talking about how to jerk off with a numb hand. Robbe shares a Look with a dude who walks by, Now that definitely is the Even, right? Unless they were just messing with audience expectations? (EDIT from the future: Looks like Sander to me, but I don’t know what the audience consensus is.)

Jens recommends jerking off with toothpaste … okay as a non-dick haver I cannot vouch for this but. I feel like this would lead to Bad Things. Aaron’s reaction of clutching his crotch seems apt.

Is bike dude the Even instead???

OK LMAO NO, IT’S NOOR, I couldn’t tell because of the distance at first and also because my visual processing skills are not the greatest.

See, it would’ve been better if it were the Even. Because I thought they were grilling Robbe on having sex with Noor while his attention kept drifting back to the guy on the bike, which is decent storytelling and communicates where his interest really is ... but it’s actually Noor so there’s none of that subtext there.

Robbe rushing to make out with Noor can at least be interpreted as him wanting to show off for the boys. Moyo wants to join in? Hmmmm.

You dumbasses KNOW you interrupted the sex, weirdos.

Wait, so ... what was the point of this scene? 

I’m not trying to be funny, I’m asking seriously. Everything in this scene was either irrelevant to the overall story OR something that had already been established, such as Robbe’s awkwardness about sex with Noor ... or the fact that he’s with Noor ... the boys knowing that he’s dating Noor? About the only thing that was new to this clip was the brief glance between Robbe and the mystery dude, something that could have been included in another clip. Are we setting up that Moyo is interested in Noor? Maybe they get together after Robbe breaks up with her? (EDIT from the future: no) Or there’s a dramatic scene where Jens is rushed to the hospital after a toothpaste-related dick mishap? (EDIT from the future: no, although it would have improved the season immensely)

Clip 5 - Seaside arrangements

So I guess the boy squad makes YouTube videos or w/e?

Aaron’s happy to see Amber approach. Amber asks if Noor is coming to the seaside. So what, is there a joint girl and boy squad beach trip or whatever? The seaside trip is to hook up, I guess.

God, I would actually kinda dig Aaron and Luca as a couple more than Aaron and Amber. 

Robbe looks bummed that Noor will be joining them, and at the prospect of “sex on the beach” so hurrah for that detail.

Err, kinda weird, though, that the point of this clip seems to be nagging Robbe into inviting Noor (which is fine, a way to communicate his discomfort and the fact that he’s in too deep with Noor) but then at the end Amber is like oh nm, Britt already asked Noor and she’s coming? So the whole bit with nagging Robbe ... did not matter. I think it would have worked better either way: Robbe is peer pressured into inviting the girl he didn’t want to go, OR Robbe is powerless to prevent the girl he doesn’t want to go from coming with them. It just feels like this is unfocused writing by trying to have it both ways.

So will the YouTube thing be plot relevant? 

Clip 6 - Boy squad and Noor in hallway

12:21, I see what you did there. Maybe.

Noor is handing out flyers for a school performance, she kisses Robbe. WAY TOO MUCH TIME IS SPENT ON NOOR AND ROBBE.

If I were watching this show with NO prior knowledge of this storyline, I think I would feel so unbalanced when Even comes around? Even with the previous hints about Robbe from earlier seasons.

Robbe is like, I don’t think this dance is for me, while the boys look around. Uhhh, I mean … if this is supposed to be the equivalent of Emma’s pre-drink, it’s stupid? Getting invited to drink with a girl you made out with once =/= getting invited to a dance performance by a girl you are clearly dating and making out with every opportunity. One of these is clearly a bigger deal. I get that Robbe isn’t into her (SUPPOSEDLY) but this is just a weird way to adapt that scene. He’s not trying to shake off someone he regrets making out with; this is someone he is actively instigating makeouts with, so why the sudden regret? I guess it’s because now he doesn’t want to go to the seaside with her? But he just kissed her two seconds ago! Either Robbe is trying to get out of his thing with Noor, in which case we should see him being awkward when she tries to kiss him - not smiling and touching her as he does - or he’s still fully on board trying to date Noor, in which case why wouldn’t he agree to go to her dance performance?

And the other guys are like, AGHAST because obviously they want to watch hot girls dance. So it is a direct adaptation of that Emma scene. Except it doesn’t make sense.

Also, Robbe is rude and dismissive to Noor about it, and she walks away with a frown, but that doesn’t make sense with his characterization so far!!! Because there is NO evidence of him being a fuckboy in this season, so far he’s honestly been pretty chill and sweet with Noor (visiting her at her work, etc.) and he keeps actively engaging with her on a level that Isak was not doing with Emma. I GUESS you could extrapolate to say he wants to turn her off so he doesn’t have to go to the seaside with her and bang her, but lmao, that’s me giving way more credit to the writing than is merited, and again, makes no sense considering he seemed perfectly fine with kissing her just now.

Or he tried to get out of it because dance sucks and men don’t go to dance performances? IDK, dude. I have a hard time following the logic of this scene based on what we know about Robbe and Robbe/Noor so far.

The boys talk Robbe into going because it’s his duty to help them get pussy. What charmers.

Actually, this is also dumb because they could just go to the dance performance themselves? Emma was clearly inviting Isak to her private party and the others were only invited by proxy, so Isak agreeing to go was a requirement for the other boys to attend. But in this situation, Noor is passing out flyers to everyone walking by, and the dance performance is a school function for anyone to attend, so who gives a shit if Robbe wants to go or not? They’ve already established they’re cool with ditching him to chase girls, they can just go without him if he’s being a sourpuss. I guess they need him to be the bridge between them and Noor’s hot dance friends.

Noor comes back and is happy they’re going.

Clip 7 - Milan pranks Senne

Zoë complains about Senne coming home and snoring all night, and like, lmao, that’s charming, but also … that’s just part of being in a relationship and living with people, lol. If snoring is your biggest concern, YOU ARE DOING FINE. You’re young and figuring out how to live together. You’ll be fine. 

There was probably Discourse about Milan getting “revenge” by hopping into bed with Senne, and I get it but I’m tired, dawg. Let’s just acknowledge this is hinky and leave it at that.

Senne freaks out when he kisses Milan by mistake. Zoë and Robbe laugh. Missed opportunity to show us a more complex reaction from Robbe! Gay shit keeps happening around Robbe and sometimes he has a reaction with serious thought behind it, and something it just happens, no big deal, ha ha. When the main arc for your protagonist of this season has to do with accepting his sexuality, why are you half-assing this stuff?

What is the point of this clip if we’re not getting some insight into Robbe’s POV? It’s cute that we’re getting to know the roommate dynamic, I guess. Upcoming drama with Zoë and Senne? No need for that to be its own clip instead of part of something relevant to Robbe himself. Milan likes getting revenge, as foreshadowing to an absolutely atrocious clip that happens later in the season?

Robbe considers Milan … I think? Frankly they make this seem like buildup to Robbe having a crush on Milan. I guess he’s supposed to be like, whoa, what a bold gay guy! He kisses boys!

I mean … I don’t really know what’s going through Robbe’s head. I don’t want to be spoon fed information, but I also kinda need to know what Robbe is thinking and feeling if this story is to make any impact on me. And I think I just don’t know where Robbe is at with his sexuality. It feels like maybe he’s tiptoeing into the realization that he’s into guys? Isak knew he was gay, he just tried to perform heterosexuality due to social pressure and internalized homophobia. Robbe does not seem like he knows. Which is … kinda off, because I’ve seen S1, I know he’s got some suspicion. It’s just feeling inconsistent.

Clip 8 - Sleeping arrangements

They arrive at the seaside, there’s a room with two single beds pushed together for the couples, like Robbe and Noor. He doesn’t seem too thrilled about that!

Moyo manages to make it an empty room for whoever wants to fuck, inadvertently helping his bro out.

Except Noor shows up and decides to sleep in the same bed as Robbe anyway. 

Are Moyo and Luca going to hook up, is that where their banter is heading? Who are the boys hoping to hook up with, anyway? Because the only single women on this trip appear to be Jana, Amber, and Luca. Aaron is into Amber, and I guess Jens might want to hook up with Jana again??? But who is Moyo considering? I suppose there are other girls in the area who are not specifically with their group.

Clip 9 - Robbe and Noor scene #26232452634

Zoë texts Senne she misses him, and he’s like #metoo, which is … lmao, MEN.

Amber is like, lol men. Please be gay, Amber!!!! 

She shows Zoë a pic of Senne on Insta, he’s having a good time, Amber tries to start some shit … GOD I ALREADY DON’T CARE

I mean, the thing is … I can get into couples’ mundane problems! But not when it’s a het couple having boring het drama in a season that’s supposed to be focused on a gay storyline with a primary gay romance that hasn’t even started yet.

Zoë has a sensible reaction, that just because they’re a couple, they can still have fun and live their own lives, although it’s delivered in a way that I know she is not really okay with it.

Aaron pulls Robbe aside because Noor has passed out in the grass. Noor pulls Robbe down to cuddle with him. He’s kinda ehhh about it, they make out, Noor is ready to bone. Robbe is not into it. She’s about to give him a handjob in the grass (like … within eyesight of their friends) when she pukes, a physical manifestation of Robbe’s feelings about sexy times with Noor. He wipes grass/puke/whatever off her face while she lies there, out of it. (Roll her onto her side, Robbe!)

What a pointless, redundant clip. What is going on?

TWO WHOLE EPISODES IN and we haven’t met Even yet … okay.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THE EPISODE:

This question is hard because already they need a major overhaul. “Everything” is a copout answer.

So first of all… repetitive as fuck clips. Three clips in two episodes where Noor makes out with Robbe, they almost get sexy, he’s not into it, and then something totally unrelated interrupts the attempt. Even apart from the pointlessness and boredom of watching the same thing happen over and over again … I think you can get away with ONE example of this. ONE example of this scene where random happenstances stop the hetero sex from going down (ha). One example is perfectly fine.

It’s not even just that it’s redundant. It’s also that, so far, it’s random chance stopping Robbe from having sex with a girl. It’s not his own character actions (or his inaction). It’s very passive on his part, which is understandable for someone who is afraid of his true sexuality and is trying to go with the flow. But he cannot hope that his friends walk in, or Jana needs help, or Noor throws up, every fucking time he gets close to having sex with a girl. 

Basically the narrative is contriving to save him. It’s not Robbe making a choice to stop the sex. It’s not even Robbe letting it happen and letting that have some emotional consequences. It’s out of his hands. These clips are both preventing him from making an active choice as a character, while also not letting him deal with the emotional fallout or consequences of sleeping with a girl. And I don’t WANT Robbe to sleep with a girl! But for fuck’s sake, if you keep having this same scene play out, with Robbe not stopping it, and only random interruptions rescuing him … either stop this tedious shit, or let it have an impact on his character already. 

I don’t care about Zoë and Senne’s boring mundane drama taking such precedence in Robbe’s season. If it happens, it should be more relevant and parallel to Robbe’s personal problems! It would make more sense later on when Robbe is struggling with his relationship with Sander.

Here’s an idea to make the retail clip count. We see Robbe getting conflicted about Milan’s gay hookup. Have Robbe go to visit Noor to apologize for getting nervous and running off last night, have him bullshit about wanting to take things slow with her, etc. However, while he’s at the store, he sees, IDK, a hot dude picking out clothes, or a hot dude trying on stuff in the changing room, and he’s into it, you see him get nervous. He checks out the hot male models in the ads. Maybe Noor works with lingerie and we see Robbe looking at all the bras and underwear with this expression of “Am I supposed to be into this?” I think the scene is overall rather redundant and could probably be clipped, but with some tweaks, you can highlight the contrast in Robbe’s attraction to men and his attempts to appear/be into women.

I mentioned this above, but you could also make Jana’s presence in the store matter instead of feeling like something random. She makes small talk with him about him being into Noor, in a way that the audience recall Robbe’s browser history from S1 - we can tell she’s very skeptical of his interest in Noor, and maybe Robbe is trying to appear sincere about being into Noor but it’s not totally convincing. Then when Noor is trying to get hot and heavy with Robbe, Jana intervenes and we can tell it’s because she’s trying to subtly save Robbe.

The Even should be introduced already. Come on. 

I’m not just saying that as an Evak shipper and an Even fan. I am saying that because Even essentially kicks Isak’s arc into motion. He is the catalyst for Isak confronting his sexuality, for reassessing his feelings on mentally ill people, for basically all of his character development. Right now we have two episodes of Robbe treading water, basically. Dating Noor is treading water. It’s fine to show that Robbe is stuck in a rut - we saw that with Isak - but the difference is that something - someone - showed up to get Isak out of that rut pretty early on. It’s not just about wanting the uwu Evak moments, it’s about wanting the narrative to actually start going somewhere, for Robbe’s character to start developing, etc. 

That said, we do need to get to know Even as a character. We need to root for Robbe/Even’s relationship. Delaying that means risking that both the character and the relationship will not feel sufficiently developed.

There’s especially no reason to have this much emphasis on Noor/Robbe, a relationship that is by design meant to be fake, versus Robbe/his Even, a relationship that is meant to be authentic.

Actually, where is the tension? Only from Robbe not wanting to fuck Noor.

There are two plot threads so far that have of any weight for our main character: Robbe’s sexuality, and Robbe’s relationship with his parents. Both of them seem somewhat muddled.

It’s funny because … even many of the smaller things from Skam S3 that caused conflict are absent here?? No Isak vs. Sana and the blackmail over the weed. No kosegruppa causing annoyance to Isak. Conflict is a GOOD THING in storytelling. It provides direction for the narrative, it provides incentive to keep watching. 

So here’s how I would include the Even into this episode, other than simply redoing the OG storyline:

In line with the mystery man from my episode 1 rewrite suggestion, Robbe spends the week wondering about the mystery man. Maybe we see him keeping an eye out for guys he thinks might be The One. Maybe the equivalent of the Talk Show Host scene is Robbe seeing a dude who he thinks is the Even, but it turns out to be a false alarm, and we see his hope and interest followed by his disappointment. We feel this, too! Because we’re wondering when the hell we will see the mystery guy again. Robbe asks Noor oh so casually if she knows any of the tagging people and where to find them. Robbe happens to go to the spot where he thinks the Even might be (like maybe he’s “casually” hanging there or snooping around when he gets the text from his mom, and decides to leave to visit with her). Robbe tries to dig around social media for clues but is frustrated with his lack of information since he’s going on basically nothing. Red herrings galore. Essentially, play with how the original episode 2 showed Isak developing a crush on Even. The point is that Robbe is intrigued and desperately wants to find this guy. I mean, maybe even add a concrete element to this search! Maybe the dude dropped something of his when he and Robbe met (a piece of jewelry, a glove, IDK. Something unique, something that gives us an insight into the Even’s character) and Robbe’s “search” for the dude is on the surface so he can return this item, but obviously it’s not just about that, and we see Robbe treasuring this item and keeping it close or w/e.

Meanwhile, Robbe’s interest in men overall is becoming more evident, in how he reacts to Milan and his hookup, or maybe checking out dudes at Noor’s store. When he shows up at her workplace, it’s so he can casually ask about people she knows from the tagging scene, and oh, does she recognize this glove? This gives him a motive to meet up with her besides just wanting to make out, and he’s uncomfortable when the meeting takes that turn.

And then … he’s SUPPOSED to go to the seaside on Friday, but instead Robbe just happens to run into the mystery man! His Even! Butterflies! He returns the item to Even and the Even is happy he got it back (and maybe far down the line we’ll learn that the Even left it behind on purpose, kinda like how Even was interested in Isak all along. Those Evens, so crafty.) And Robbe lies about being sick or something and skips on the trip, and hangs out with Even, and we get a scene similar to the OG where they bond and get to know each other, but obviously not word for word, centered around their own personalities. He’s having a great time, but then it turns out that the Even has a girlfriend, obviously. Everyone else is pissed that Robbe ditched them. You know how it goes. It doesn’t have to be an exact mirror of this S2 clip, but I do strongly think we need to advance this part of the storyline by this point.

Jumping forward in time: I know that Robbe meets his Even at the seaside, so you could also just, you know. Bounce that up a bit. Work in all the other ~mystery stuff and maybe Robbe is feeling disheartened and accepting that he’s just not gonna see that guy again, he goes to the seaside as planned. But holy shit, he arrives and That Guy is there! Just when he thought all hope was lost!

Imagine if the Even had left behind, like, a scarf, and Robbe started to wear it, and he was wearing it at the seaside when they meet again. Juicy stuff.

Add more reactions from Robbe toward Milan and his date. Sometimes he’s chill about gay stuff and sometimes he’s a little more hesitant. It feels very inconsistent. There are big opportunities to show Robbe’s issues with his sexuality but the show is sliding right by them.

This is more thinking ahead, but the boys’ YouTube channel should ideally play some part in Robbe’s coming out journey. (And no, I don’t count that shitty Milan prank clip as a payoff for the boys’ YouTube channel, fuck that.) I’m not sure, what, exactly - I don’t think Robbe is the type of guy to post a coming out video and it doesn’t seem like it’d be a fit for their channel. Maybe just use the channel as a way to indicate Robbe’s comfort with being publicly in a relationship with a boy. Like at an earlier part of the season, the squad is going to do some prank and Sander is like, haha, sounds fun, can I join? And Robbe tries to keep Sander away, by making an excuse or telling the boys that he doesn’t want Sander involved, because it’s implied that he’s scared of people realizing that he and Sander have a Thing. Then later on, after Robbe comes out to everyone and is openly in a relationship with Sander, there’s a video about something else but he and Sander are casually cuddling in the background or whatever.

My big problems are the lack of focus and the bad pacing. Skam S3 has a clear mission statement, a goal. There’s an endgame in mind and each clip takes a step toward that endgame. Julie Andem knew Isak’s character arc and each clip advances a part of his journey. wtFOCK so far doesn’t seem to know what to do with Robbe. Or rather, they have like two ideas - Robbe doesn’t want to fuck Noor and Robbe is sad about his mom - but no clue about how to use those ideas to advance the story, and they seem to be dawdling instead of making the most out of a finite amount of screen time.

[work-life-harmony]

Harmony Journal/Blog Posts

9/8/21

“I Stress, Eustress, We All Stress”

It is two days past my 42nd birthday and the eve before the start of another school year.  And I anticipate it is going to be a year like no other.  There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty that I am feeling at the moment.  Personally, I am in the thick of things trying to raise my twelve year-old daughter and blend ourselves with my fiancee and her two children.  It has not been easy.  My daughter has dealt with anxiety ever since she was little.  Her mom passed away two months after her second birthday and it’s hard to know whether her personality has been shaped in part because of the void my wife’s passing created.  Now that she is entering adolescence, a certain alchemy of anxiety, anger, and depression has yielded some chaos in our household.

That the pandemic happened to coincide with the time in her life where she is feeling the hardest is unfortunate.  Did the lockdown and disruption to our lives exacerbate her feelings of anxiety and anger?  It’s probably a safe bet that it did.  So that has been a major area of concern and frustration for me.

On the professional side of things, although last year was difficult for many teachers, and I certainly had my frustrations, I was in a fairly good place mentally.  There were some aspects to the school year that I actually found novel and enjoyed, such as the ability to sleep later, roll out of bed and teach from my kitchen table.  Conversely, the new routine allowed me to develop some habits that were not healthy, including daily rituals such as making and drinking light and sweet coffee and having a serving or two of ice cream nightly between dinner and bed.  Furthermore, I seemed to become a slave to my phone.  Although I’ve had the willpower to delete apps such as Facebook off of my phone in the past, the last few years I became addicted to the news...and Instagram...and checking my email.  One concerning consequence of the pandemic is that I’ve lost my concentration stamina.  If I start something, particularly work related, it only takes a few minutes before I feel compelled to get up and do something else, even just for a half minute.  Of course this breaks my rhythm of work and I’m unable to achieve any kind of flow.  And, worse, sometimes I find that I mean to do something, such as check the weather, but when I open up a tab to do it, I have completely lost what I meant to do when I opened the tab.  Scary!

With the start of the new school year, I intend to turn over a new leaf so to speak by approaching different aspects of my professional and personal life with an eye towards my well-being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  The forthcoming journal entries will chronicle the conscious changes that I am making in order to foster more harmony in my life and a stronger sense of well-being.  Part of that will be my investment in activities that help me achieve a sense of flow, including but not limited to music, reading, and immersing myself in nature.

9/16/21

“Time In a Bottle”

As the school year has started, the typical looseness of my summer days has come to an abrupt end.  However, there are some benefits to the structure of my school days.  My body has started to adjust to my new routine, and although the school day seems to necessitate a routine, there are conscious choices that I’m making to build a healthy daily schedule.  I am up at 5:30 on weekday mornings and in bed reading by 10 pm, a major shift from previous school years in which I would stay up until 11 or later watching television before hopping in bed to fall asleep.  Although I’m still adjusting to this new routine (as the school year is still young), I am recognizing an easier relationship with waking up in the morning.  As noted in the course, avoiding screens before bedtime contributes to a better sleep and I am finding that I am waking up more rested and ready to meet the day.  

An interesting stressor at the start of the school year, before my body has fully adopted the new schedule, is my anxiety that I will somehow miss my morning alarm.  I’m the first one in the house who is up in the morning, and no one is coming to wake me in time for my early day if my alarm fails me.  Thus, the first week (or two) of the school year leave me sleeping lightly and somewhat anxiously.  I continue to add measures into my routine, such as meditation and muscle relaxation practices to help ease my mind.  Additionally, I have quieted my mind before falling asleep by acknowledging the things that I am grateful for.  This will be touched upon in more depth in a forthcoming journal entry, but there is tremendous value in gratitude.  Lori Santos, a renowned professor at Yale University who teaches the highly sought course “The Science of Well-Being,” acknowledged in an article for Newsweek Magazine, “Grateful people tend to be happier and show lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. Health care workers who keep a gratitude journal show reductions in stress and depression. And people suffering from chronic pain who practice gratitude show improvements in both sleep quality and mood” (Santos). It has become an important strategy for me to ease the chronic stress and anxiety of life which gets exacerbated at the start of a new school year.  

With each day, it does become easier to sleep peacefully and I suspect that soon my eyes will open a minute before my alarm rings.  I am also pleased to report that rising before the sun comes up has been easier than in years past.  Typically, trying to get out of bed in the dark has always been difficult and miserable.  Of course, it may return to misery as winter sets in and leaving a warm bed is a shock to the system, but for now I am happy to report that the newly adopted schedule for this school year is working well.  

On a more professional side of things, I have been working on my planning as it regards daily obligations.  For instance, the adoption of daily to-do lists has helped me to stay better focused on items that need attention; efficient about tending to, and completing, those items; and avoid being frazzled like I have been in the past because the ideas bounce around my brain but have not been concrete since they aren’t visibly posted somewhere.  The morning ritual of composing a daily to-do list has really been beneficial for me.  An example of items that I’ve included on lists include: grade seven essays today, photocopy “Heroes” article, email Nina’s guidance counselor, drop two books in Mari’s mailbox, hit the supermarket with grocery list, and call the car dealership.  Furthermore, I’ve been diligent about staying on top of the “house calendar” to not only make sure that all family events are noted on the calendar, but also to consult the calendar every day as part of my daily routine to see what obligations members of the household have that day and in the near future.  This is an indispensable part of our lives and internal harmony.  For instance, my daughter’s “picture day” is tomorrow.  Since it is listed on the calendar, we can save ourselves stress and frustration by potentially being caught off guard that pictures are being taken tomorrow.  Heaven forbid my daughter arrive at school with no inkling that it is picture day, likely exacerbating her stress/anxiety because she feels unprepared.  These measures have been part of my process for winning back time and peace of mind.  

With that in mind, it is going to be a school long objective to work on organization skills with my students.  In particular, I have two sections of remedial sophomore English classes.  A good percentage of these students have IEPS or other individualized plans to help them be successful in their high school classes.  It is not uncommon to see a personalized modification that revolves around breaking down big concepts and keeping them on task.  For this reason, we’ve established a routine of taking out binders/notebooks at the start of every class period.  They need reminders, but it is with the purpose of establishing healthy and productive habits that they can carry with them for a lifetime.

9-19-21

“Love May Know No Bounds, But a Teacher Better Set Some”

The financial wizard Warren Buffet has been quoted, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."  While there’s probably a bit of overstatement to Buffet’s claim, one can’t deny that from an “American Dream” point of view that he is considered a success.  Thus, there must be some truth behind his words which reinforce the Module 3 concept of boundary-setting.  With the rise of technology, be it e-mail or Google classroom, students have greater accessibility to their teachers.  In fact, everyone has greater accessibility to teachers.  Compounded by the fact that part of last year was taught remotely, the boundaries of the school day almost ceased to exist.  Fortunately, the summer has been a quiet time to turn away from professional demands, but with the new school year upon us,  I feel it is going to be important to counter the feeling of always being tied to work.  For this reason, boundary-setting is going to be a priority for me.  My first concern is to establish that I will not be addressing professional inquiries/issues on weekends or days off.  Of course, this will be somewhat of a test at the start of the school year because I’m also conscious of the anxiety that arises when my inbox fills up with issues that need attention.  But branching off of the time-management piece of the puzzle, I hope to create effective solutions in my approach to time and boundaries.

When I started my career as a teacher, I recall a colleague noting that teaching is a twelve month job condensed down to ten months.  Thus, the school day doesn’t truly end with the last bell.  There is much to get done between planning, grading, and tending to all of the extra aspects of teaching.  Even as a veteran teacher, it is virtually impossible to complete all of my professional needs during school hours.  In fact, the demands of being a school teacher may feel endless at times.  This is why it is so important to set boundaries.  Granted, when you have children of your own, as I do, priorities tend to shift.  But, even so, most caring teachers yearn to give 110% to their schools and students.  The phrase that comes to mind when that happens is “slave to your work.”  This is a recipe for stress and potential unhappiness, so it becomes incumbent upon teachers to set boundaries and strike a balance between personal and professional life.  This school year, I feel I’ve done a nice job of making my nights and weekends sacred.  I use my time at school effectively and efficiently, shying away from distractions that keep me from being as productive as possible during school hours.  I have even established practices with classes that have helped in this regard.  For instance, I have designated Friday as an independent reading day for my basic skills classes.  While this is productive for them because it creates an environment that they can do sustained reading of literature that they choose, it also affords me time to catch up on grading and plan for the following week (which would otherwise be happening during my weekend).  The items that I am not able to get to during the school day are addressed during my time at home, but I believe that I am approaching it in a more thoughtful way.  On weekend mornings, I’ve been waking up early as my body adjusts to my 5:30 wakeup routine during the week.  So when I’m up for an hour before the rest of the house, I can attack the items that I didn’t get to during the week.  Needless to say, my approach this year has left me feeling a better sense of control over my professional duties.

9-22-21

“Shake It Off” 

Several years ago the topic du jour in school districts across the country was resilience or grit.  This was pre-pandemic.  As a concept, it hasn’t gotten the same attention as of late, but that does not undercut the importance of resilience and the tools we need to develop in order to persevere.  As noted in Module 3, a growth mindset plus stamina equals achievement.   As part of my journey to better living, particularly during the stressful pandemic, I have landed on, and dedicated myself to, several areas which follow:

Developing habits of self care and compassion for others

As we went into lockdown and found ourselves somewhat trapped in our homes, particularly during the fall and winter, it was easy to lose the habits of self-care that had been so natural in our daily lives.  I have consciously made an effort to develop better habits of self care since taking this course.  Namely, my diet and sleep have been areas of focus.  My daily diet looks something like:

-Greek yogurt with granola and fresh berries for breakfast

-A greens, apple, avocado, grilled chicken and blue cheese salad for lunch

-Apple slices, banana, flavored almonds, and/or pretzel & hummus for an afternoon snack

-Dinner varies, but is typically home-cooked and avoids red meat

Prior to this conscious change, I had no real dietary routine and I recognized the impact it was having on me physically and mentally.  I was leaning hard into sugar and caffeine; beyond the damage it was doing to my body, it was adversely affecting my sleep habits.  Now, however, committed to taking better care of myself, I am cognizant of the synergistic benefits of self-care, especially when times are tough.  

Another area of focus, and one often taken for granted in our well-being, is the power of authentic socializing with others.  While I was lucky to have a full house made up of my fiancee and our three kids which helped me not feel starved for close, authentic social interaction, I still was not feeling completely edified.  Making sure to nurture my relationships, especially with students and colleagues, brings a greater sense of gratification from meaningful interaction.  For instance, last school year, I noticed that one aspect of my school day that was glaringly absent was laughter.  Whether it stems from banter with colleagues or the shenanigans that carry on with a loose and happy classroom of students, last year punctuated how important laughter is on the psyche.  In fact, a line from one of my favorite novels, Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, emphasizes the deep importance of laughter when the protagonist, McMurphy, remarks, “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.”  While social distancing may have made us inclined to shrink away from people, so much has been lost by cocooning ourselves.  A tremendous part of our mental health is the release we get when laughing.  I have reinvested in that and it has led to the next area of well-being and resilience:

Building a network of positivity

As an extension of that investment into relationships is the support system of those who help to buoy me.  While we know that misery often loves company, we should also recognize that happiness is augmented through company as well.  One of the better pieces of wisdom that I ever found from a fortune cookie fortune was “Joy shared is doubled; grief shared is halved.”  (Does one need to create an APA citation for fortune cookies?  Ha!)  We certainly are better off building a mindset of positivity.  It can be infectious.  And although as the school year neared I was having grim thoughts about what was in store for us, my network of people which includes friends, colleagues, and even students have helped me navigate to a place of harmony.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and our brains can be unkind and counterproductive. And sometimes we lose our way which also takes a toll on our sense of being.  That’s why anyone will be better off:

Finding Purpose

Yesterday, I was catching up with my best friend from childhood.  I asked how his mother was doing since she retired three years ago from her position as an anesthesiologist.  My friend’s response was, “She’s deteriorating.”  Granted, this is a woman in her 70s, and time can be cruel.  (My fiancee told me last night that she saw a shirt for sale online that said, “My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting.”) But the real point of my friend’s words is that once she lost her daily purpose of getting up at 5:30 and doing meaningful work, she became aimless and lost the person that she had been for most of her lifetime.  

Finding purpose is an important element to the senior curriculum I teach as the literature we read in my ELA class forces us to confront the universal themes of purpose and identity.  So much of self-understanding and drive derives from the things that we do.  

Perhaps the best figure to explore the value of purpose is the mythological figure of Sisyphus.  You may know him as the guy who rolls the rock up the hill.  That’s his identity, because that’s what he does.  He is suffering eternal punishment for angering the gods, and they have determined that there is nothing worse than this act of futility.  When Sisyphus completes his task and gets the rock to the top of the mountain, it just rolls back to the other side and he has to collect the rock again and repeat.  Ad nauseum.   However, the French absurdist writer Albert Camus examines Sisyphus as a representation of the everyman.  We all roll our metaphorical rocks only to watch those acts be undone.  We make our beds in the morning.  Wash our dishes.  Mow the lawn.  Go to work.  Day after day after day.  And ultimately, we suffer for no greater good.  However, Camus acknowledges that Sisyphus overcomes his torment if he has his own purpose to the seemingly futile act.  When he steps up to the rock with his own personal motivation, or purpose, then it’s not a punishment.  That’s the value of purpose.  

Fortunately, the profession of education naturally provides purpose as we invest in our students.  And beyond that, I have invested in music and relationships.   These areas of my life have certainly been instrumental in creating a sense of direction and happiness. 

Finally, I believe in:

Continuing to learn, experiment, and grow

Recently, a colleague noted how much she loved being a student and learning.  She pointed out that if she could be a student for the rest of her life, she would do it in a heartbeat.  I feel somewhat similar.  And one of the best aspects of being in the world of education is that I’m consistently being exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking that have satisfied an aspect of my personality that yearns for knowledge.  

When the world came to a screeching halt in the spring of 2020, eager to quench my desire to improve my knowledge and skills, I found just what I was looking for online.  After some searches for guitar instruction on the internet, I stumbled upon a fellow with a channel on youtube that has been somewhat life-changing.  His avuncular disposition and clear explanation of guitar theory has helped me to become a better guitarist and feel a newfound confidence in my playing.  Upon reflection, I’m happy that I dedicated myself to improving my skills because it has paid great dividends and underscores the value of knowledge, experimentation and growth.

I feel lucky that a few of the ideas noted above are organically interwoven into the life of an English literature teacher.  

9-26-21

“The smell of gratitude” - Sensory Awareness, Attitude and Thankfulness

Yesterday, I stepped outside in the morning and immediately recognized that it was a glorious day.  An early morning autumn chill was in the air (my favorite time of year), and the sun dappled the earth through its magnificent golden rays.  Shortly after breakfast, the family hopped in the car and headed north to Warwick, NY.  When we reached our destination, my fiancee and the kids hopped out and spent an hour on an alpaca farm while I drove into Sugar Loaf, the neighboring hippie town.  There, I walked along the main drag in the middle of town and basked in the sunshine between dropping into the different stores.  After picking the family up, we drove back into town and had a delicious lunch before heading home mostly along back roads that traced the shore of a lake that crosses the boundary between NY and NJ.  It was sensational; the only thing that could have made it better is if the foliage had started to turn.  

Days and moments experienced, like yesterday’s outing, force me to return to the lyrics of Neil Peart whose words echo from his band, Rush’s, wonderful song “Time Stand Still”:

Freeze this moment

A little bit longer

Make each sensation

A little bit stronger

Experience slips away...

Experience slips away...

Time stand still

Of course, time doesn’t stand still, so it becomes necessary for us to savor the big and little moments of our lives.  Akin to the Scottish poet Robert Burns’ remark in his poem, “To a Mouse”:

 I backward cast my e’e,

       On prospects drear!

An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

       I guess an’ fear!

We are so busy worrying about our past and futures that we forget to live in the present.  With this in mind, I’ve been practicing the art of savoring.  Right now, as I write, there is the wonderful aroma of pumpkin muffins in the air.  This morning, I relished the hot water pouring down when I took a shower.  And even though I’m allergic to animals, I still felt and savored the buttery softness of the teddy bears made with alpaca fur that the kids got when they were at the farm.  

There are many areas of our lives to be more present and “tune into” in order to achieve a deeper appreciation for the present moment and increase our happiness and well-being.  And, following the advice from the Harmony course to spend time in nature, I find this to be the best time of year to do such a thing.  Thus, I have been spending extra time outdoors, smelling the autumnal air and savoring the beauty of the natural world.  Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of teaching Romantic writers whose ideology turned away from the harsh, cold logic of the Age of Reason and towards the wonders of the natural world and the emotions of humankind.  Several poems I teach underscore the value of nature; perhaps no poet celebrates the natural world more than William Wordsworth.  He characterizes the peace found in nature when he says in “Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey:

how oft—

In darkness and amid the many shapes

Of joyless daylight; when the fretful stir

Unprofitable, and the fever of the world,

Have hung upon the beatings of my heart—

How oft, in spirit, have I turned to thee,

O sylvan Wye! thou wanderer thro' the woods,

         How often has my spirit turned to thee!

I, too, have looked to nature, both literally and figuratively, to counterbalance the “fever of the world.”  I will continue to do so, especially on these glorious autumn days.  And in times when I cannot be out in nature, my spirit can still turn to it and find some internal peace with recollections of how sublime Mother Nature can be. 

9-29-21

Crisis - “A season to build resiliency”

The subheading to this journal entry comes from an Edutopia article written by Jessica Cabeen, “How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions.”  It’s certainly an optimistic mindset in relation to times of struggle or outright crises.  Entering my seventeenth year in education, I could never have predicted what the state of education was going to be over the past few years if I had never lived it.  If we are to understand “crises” as events that cause us to change our routines and threaten our safety, the pandemic certainly fits the bill. 

I’ve had a few other crises since becoming a teacher.  The most recent one was a crisis wrought and then averted by Mother Nature right as this school year was beginning.  When Hurricane Ida swept up the eastern coast of the US, those of us in the metropolitan area had no real warning about the amount of water that the storm was going to dump on us.  At around 8:30 pm, I went into my basement to see streams of water pouring through the basement walls soaking the basement floor as the sump pump struggled to keep up with the quickly rising water table.  Ten years prior, I had a similar experience with Hurricane Irene.  (It dawns on me now that I must really take note when a Hurricane named after the letter I bears down on me that I need to be alert.)  The morning after Irene, I woke up to the items in my basement floating around like they were in a bathtub.  With Ida, I made a mad dash to remove the items from the basement that I could and tried to shift my thinking of helplessness to acceptance.  

You can’t fight Mother Nature.  Thus, I took solace in knowing that I salvaged the things that I could and to not fret about the things that I couldn’t control.  This is perhaps a difficult thing to do, especially in a situation like this as we are naturally conditioned to protect our abodes.  But the mindset is vital part of our wellbeing.  One of the moments from the course on Harmony that really resonated with me was the transference of anxious energy into positive energy.  Rather than feel confined by the heightened energy of anxiety, simply telling yourself “I’m excited” can have a real positive effect.  Certainly, saying “I’m excited” about a hurricane is a ludicrous connection, but attempts to assuage the mind can bear fruit.  In the middle of the madness as Ida was wreaking havoc across NJ, I made a conscious attempt to soothe myself and accept what the fallout was going to be.

From there we are able to learn and grow, and our resilience is definitely tested.  Although we may struggle and even suffer, we have the opportunity to learn and grow from our experiences.  Additionally, when we go through our own trials, we become empathetic.

Given the extreme negative impacts that trauma can have on individuals, especially young people, crises take on a more serious consideration because it’s not just the present crisis that needs attention; the ramifications for the long-term also need to be addressed.  Sometimes checking in is an important step to help others.  For that reason, I spent a couple of class periods talking candidly with my students about their feelings regarding the pandemic.  Not only was it eye-opening, it was also greatly appreciated by my students.  Quite a few students remarked that none of their teachers bothered to check in with them.  They carried on with business as usual, even though the students had bigger things on their minds than math or chemistry or history.  Since then, and with the endorsement of the Harmony course, I have made it a priority to emphasize and invest in the human connection with my students and the other people in my orbit.  

Although the course emphasized a distinction in the connotations of balance and harmony, I do believe that a conscious balancing of different aspects of my routines and choices has led to a more harmonious life.  The school year is off to a great start...a better start than I had hoped.  And, ultimately, I feel a stronger sense of well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Cited Sources:

Burns, Robert. “To a Mouse.” Poets.org, https://poets.org/poem/mouse. 

Cabeen, J., 2021. How School Leaders Can Frame Tough Decisions. [online] Edutopia. Available at: 

<https://www.edutopia.org/article/how-school-leaders-can-frame-tough-decisions> [Accessed 29 

September 2021].

Gilbert, D. (2021). Stumbling on Happiness: Think You Know What Makes You Happy? 

Alfred A. Knopf.

Kesey, K. (1672). Ken Kesey: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Mass Market 

Paperback); 1989 Edition. Ken Kesey.

Rush. “Time Stand Still.” Peter Collins, The Manor, Oxfordshire, 1987. 

Santos, L. (2020, December 22). Laurie Santos, Yale Happiness Professor, on 5 things that will 

make you happier. Newsweek. Retrieved September 16, 2021, from

https://www.newsweek.com/2021/01/08/laurie-santos-yale-happiness-professor-5-thing

-that-will-make-you-happier-1556182.html. 

Wordsworth, William. “Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the 

Banks of the Wye During a Tour, July 13, 1798.” Poets.org, 

https://poets.org/poem/lines-composed-few-miles-above-tintern-abbey-revisiting-banks-

wye-during-tour-july-13-1798. 

[cosmicclownboy]

 Malex day 7: AU

If there was a concept Michael could blink out of existence it would be blind dates. Not that there aren't other social constructs that he struggles with he just fails to grasp why this is a thing. Can't he be trusted to find someone through his own volition? It's not like either party usually wants to be there anyway? It's a product of peer pressure and it's just so painfully awkward he ends up nursing a beer at a bar by the end of the evening wondering how in the hell he's going to get out of the next one.

The primary issue is the matchmaker in question because in many ways he is in a rock and a hard place. If he even remotely musters up the courage to tell his sister, Isobel no she's going to become hyper fixated on getting him more dates. And that's the last thing he wants. If he just gets through them maybe Isobelle will realise it's a lost cause and just give up. In the past month alone he’s been on three dates all equally terrible. Lisa who worked in finance drank three margarita's and promptly left their dinner on the sidewalk. Doug, a gym trainer who had the personality of a potato. And Susan an astrologist who despite being career goals just didn't fit. It's almost depressing that his brother who set him up with a coroner for a joke somehow wound up getting him a relationship yet his sister who has a better grasp of him then anyone keeps setting him up with these duds.

By month four he's had it. He cannot do it anymore. "Isobel I love you but if you try to set me up on one more date after this I will Jedi frisby your favourite shoes to the moon" Isobelle has never looked more horrified and scared in her life. "You wouldn't dare not the Dolce with the tulle". "I didn't actually know which were your favourite so thanks for the info drop" He nabs a fry and winks at her leaving her with the mental image of destroyed ankle boots. Hopefully, it means she will stop promptly.

According to her logic, he implied he was open to one last date which in turn creates a loophole that she can have one final try. He agrees only because she shoos away a woman he's spent the last hour flirting with. And if he goes on this last one he can finally know some semblance of peace from his sister. When she calls Alex the man of his dreams and uses the word Adonis as a descriptor he's already planning the ways of which he can fling those Dolce shoes. The last man she said would rock his world gave him the worst orgasm of his life and stole ten dollars from his nightstand. He does not want a repeat of that night. To which she enunciates very proudly that she knows him specifically and if he dares to be an asshole she'll shred his cowboy hat. "When have I ever been an asshole on one of your dates Iz" "Ali" She's got him there but he's still offended. "Ali kept sending back her ravioli because it wasn't hot enough.I'm not sorry I didn't want to stay for another course of oh my god my asparagus is touching my salmon Michael my daddy owns a yacht club Michael". He does his best squeaky imitation of her voice that has Isobel shaking her head grinning. "You know I saw her the other day she was spray painting her poodle, Edguirdia bright pink"

Instead of a gaudy restaurant with an obnoxious french name requiring him to google map the address. He's given one not too far from his apartment. Surprisingly it's in the neck of the village he likes that's quiet and reserved. Michael bites back a small smile when he sees the establishment is quite literally called "a Grillhouse".It's rustic. The chairs look a little battered for wear and the kitchen is so close to the tables that the aroma wafts throughout the restaurant. It's peaceful and the smell alone makes him hungry. If Ali ended up here for a date he's pretty sure the place would wind up condemned within the hour. This Alex Manes already has earned points in his book. The menu has food he'd actually eat at a reasonable price and there's a really old jukebox in the corner that he's itching to get a look at. He drops his jacket at the weathered booth in the corner and it's two steps before he's silently reading each song title in his head.

"There are sixty songs on there. I should warn you that fifteen of them are cutesy bops that his girlfriend likes. Who even pairs ACDC and Foo Fighters with the Jonas Brothers?" The voice appearing out of nowhere takes him by surprise so much so that he jams his foot into the corners of the metal. Whatever curse that was going to fall out of his mouth is quickly gone when he turns to see the face to the voice. God, he hopes this man is his date. Dressed in tight black jeans with a marble looking sweater the man is a vision. He stares a little open mouthed for a minute before he remembers he has to speak.

"He must really love his girlfriend"

"Can't say I relate"

He steps in front of him with a coin and Michael quickly moves curiously wondering at what he'll pick. The first bar of Roxeanne by the Police hangs in the air and he's staring at the man in front of him swaying softly eyes closed and smiling. Beautiful. Adonis beautiful?

"Please tell me your Alex?"

Isobel is so forgiven.

"You're a YouTuber?" He tries not to sound offended or judgy but judging by the smirk and raise of his eyebrows Alex immediately sees through his bullshit.Alex rubs his hands on his jeans slowly debating what to say.

"I got in an accident after I left the air force" He knocks his knee revealing a clank. "At first it was to document the journey and so my buddies overseas could feel like they were with me. But then people really got interested in my life and stuff. I do a lot of different stuff. I show people some of my leg fittings. Do videos with my dogs and sometimes I play music"

"You play?"

"Piano and Guitar"

When Michael winds up pressed to his truck an hour later Alex's hands everywhere and anywhere his mind is blank. He's going to combust or come most likely both. And he's perfectly fine with it if Alex's kissing him like he's the instrument that he wants to play non stop. It's dirty and passionate and soft and oh god maybe he is the man of his dreams.The kisses leave him dizzy but he wants more and more. So he maybe has sex with Alex in the back of the truck multiple times over the weeks. And maybe he falls a little bit in love with him. It does not mean he is willing to give Isobel the satisfaction of knowing she found his person. He refuses. So they keep it sort of on the down-low. Alex is fine with this because the internet tends to hold an opinion on every relationship he's ever had and he wants to have moments for them.

The jig is up after four months when Isobel hears Michael say baby off-camera to Alex in one of his videos to his specialist. He gets an earful mainly I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!! He's not even mad at that point he's just relieved he didn't want her to find out after he's moved in with Alex.And if he's honest he's hated not being able to tell her about him. He thinks Alex feels the same because he's been hassled for the past week in texts from all his friends about mystery guy. First, they release a photo of Michael unboxing his stuff with the hashtag #home and they slowly ease him into being in the videos. Michael's quickly come around to realise it was dumb for him to judge especially when he reads some of the comments in the tags about how much a video affects a person's mental health.

The first video he makes his first on-screen debut is Alex doing weird science experiments with Liz and he spots their dog going for the squirrel. Their second dog, of course, spots the squirrel after he's deferred the first dog and long story short the video ends with all three of them bathing the dogs soaked to the brim.

Maybe blind dates aren’t so bad if it’s Alex Manes.

[janedrakey131]

zukka hp au part 6

Thank you so much, everyone! I hope you continue to enjoy this au. I had a few minutes last night, so I wrote up a couple scenes for all of you. 

I haven’t written anything in so long though, so I’m sorry about the quality. Also, if someone is OOC, I’m sorry, I really tried. I need to rewatch atla at this rate. But feedback is always appreciated! I’m tagging anyone currently on the tag list, but if you missed it or just saw it, please let me know on the tag list post and I’ll add you in for future posts. (If you’d like me to reblog and tag you on this one, that’s also an option, but please comment or DM me so I know exactly who would like that.)

Also, if you couldn’t tell, I have no idea what I’m doing. So if I left someone off the tag list by accident or put it in a weird spot, I’m sorry! It’s possibly because I had to google how to make one yesterday XD But if I missed you, please tell me! I swear it wasn’t intentional. If you have any other suggestions or questions, let me know!

If you’d like to catch up:

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

And with that, hope you enjoy :)

October 31 1981

There’s a suspicious bump.

The minister really does not like suspicious bumps.

But working in the Ministry of Magic for as long as he has, eventually he stopped jumping at every single one. He calls that progress. His wife says he’s finally lost whatever survival instincts he used to possess.

The minister doesn’t care overly much though. Today’s a happy day! The Avatar defeated Lord Sozin! He should be drafting congratulatory letters for the poor kid. Speaking of the child, he needs to find out where they are. And also who they are. There’s an astounding lack of information on this baby.

There’s a suspicious fwoosh and two masked wizards stand before him.

The minister is a calm and collected man. So, of course, he screams.

“None of that now,” says the older man with absolutely wild grey hair. “Stop screaming, Minister. We’re not here to hurt you.”

The minister wasn’t born yesterday, and his mother has reliably informed him that he isn’t a complete imbecile. He continues screaming.

The other intruder nudges the other and sighs. “You’re scaring him.”

“No, really?” Lunatic One groans. “I didn’t notice over all the screaming. Silencio. Honestly, he supposedly went toe to toe with Sozin in the Wizengamot for years. You’d think he’d have more guts than this.”

The nicer interloper (but still Lunatic Two) sighs again. “One who knows when to retreat will live longer than those who stay to fight past their abilities.”

“No, no, nope, we are not having your little philosophical riddles today. They just make my head hurt. You’re only here to make sure I don’t get bored and decide I want to wear his spine as a necklace.”

The minister’s eyes must pop out of his skull a bit.

“Just get to the point, my friend, so we can let this nice man enjoy his evening.”

“Nice man? He’s a politician. They’re all crackpots,” necklace man says.

The minister privately wonders why his friend bothers to sigh again when he clearly isn’t surprised.

“You’re a politician, too.”

“Yes,” the crazy one replies sagely. “I’m a crackpot. It means I wear the stench of insanity with pride and can identify it elsewhere.”

“Anyway,” the same man continues, but this time clearly directed towards the minister. “Simple request. Don’t look for the Avatar. No, no, no, I see you shaking your head at me. Just don’t look for them, or I’ll be back for my new bony accessories.”

His calmer friend looks the minister in the eyes. “We will keep the Avatar safe. But if Sozin’s followers find out where the child is, they’ll be dead before their next birthday. Do you understand, Minister?”

The minister likes to think he’s good at reading the room, so he nods a bit frantically. With them taking care of the child, that’s one less thing for him to worry about. And he gets to keep his spine. He’s rather partial to it now that he thinks about it. Anyway, it’s a win for everyone.

“Excellent.”

And then the two men are gone. 

Hurray for delegating responsibilities.

Today was enitrely too exciting for his delicate sensibilites. The minister pulls out the biggest bottle of Firewhiskey he owns and Floos home. Maybe he’ll get that takeout his wife likes today. She always deserves nice things, but especially today in exchange for all the blubbering he’s about to do.

oOo

“Did you really have to scare him so thoroughly, Headmaster?” Iroh asks once they’re safely back in the Headmaster’s office.

Headmaster Bumi throws his head back and laughs. “Fear is healthy! It keeps the blood pumping. The masks just added to the overall effect. And it’s not like I’d actually follow through. He just needs some character building. But at least that’s done. The kid’s with a friend of mine tonight. You’ll take the child to the orphanage tomorrow then?”

Iroh nods. “We’ll check in on him sometimes?”

“Of course,” Bumi says, looking scandalized. “What do you take me for? If he isn’t being treated well, prophecy or no prophecy, I’ll raise him myself. We don’t tolerate child abuse in this house.”

Iroh is extremely alarmed by the idea of Bumi raising any child, let alone the Avatar. But he is relieved they’re on the same page. At least now he doesn’t have to plan a kidnapping. Finally, after a long, but successful, night, Iroh leans back and enjoys his freshly brewed tea in peace.

Bumi’s chewing breaks the comfortable silence.

“Want a biscuit? They’re lemon poppy seed.”

Moderate peace then, but he thanks the Headmaster and enjoys his biscuit.

oOo

September 1, 1990

Sokka kind of assumes that he’ll be extremely bored during his first year of Hogwarts. He isn’t friends with anyone in his year yet, and Katara is a year younger.

Out of the limited number of other wizarding families he’s met, he hasn’t gotten along with many of the other kids. They were all either too dull, too old, or too annoying.

So Sokka has to admit he didn’t see this coming.

The boy in front of him is cool.

He’s already changed into pressed black Hogwarts robes with a red tie, so Sokka assumes the boy is maybe a second year Gryffindor. His black hair is neatly pulled out of his face, and there’s just a hint of the hair piece holding it up. Sokka’s busy staring at the rings on the boy’s fingers, a clear sign of an elemental magic user. But he’s too far away to figure out which element.

Sokka doesn’t really care though. People are people. It can’t hurt to ask if he can sit there.

So he screws up his courage and opens the door to the train compartment.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Sokka blinks. This boy isn’t very friendly, but he presses on.

“Everywhere else is full,” he says, lying through his teeth. “Mind if I join you?”

Five full compartments can be rounded up to all of them. Sokka’s a man of science. He would know.

The boy doesn’t answer for a beat, looking him up and down. Then he sneers. “Wolf’s tail, all that blue? You must be another Water Tribe peasant.”

Sokka can feel the blood rushing in his ears. Of all the compartments he had to walk into, it had to be a Fire Nation one.

“And you must be half troll with manners like that,” he bites out, before slamming the compartment door shut and walking away.

That was terrible. But it’s too late to go back and properly insult the other boy, so Sokka angrily walks away.

oOo

That’s all for now!

A few more things: 

I’m trying to make my life easier with dates for this au, so Halloween 1981 is when Sozin tried to kill the Avatar. Aang’s birthday is just going to be so late in the year that he got bumped to the year below. So we’re going based on Sokka’s years in school, first year starting in 1990. If something I’m doing doesn’t make sense or I’m completely contraindicating something, please ask! There’s a really good chance I’ve missed something. 

Also, any and all commentary or jokes made by characters about being insane and so on will not extend to actually poking fun at a character’s mental health. If they’ve got an issue that’s bothering them, that’s that. In this case, I think random people appearing in your office would scare you. And Bumi just sounds like someone who assumes everyone is as sane as he is. 

Lastly, say hello to one of the few straight characters we have. The minister was just a fun OC I made up, so I don’t have any corresponding atla character in mind for him. I was going to give him a name, but it just felt better having him be this random competent leader with a badass wife. 

If you’d like to catch up:

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

@delievia @assyouwishh @aphrcditeee @theoneandonlyredrobin @dongdingheresthething @bring-back-wally @zuko-just-wants-his-honor @youcant-escapefate @iwillgodownwiththisship27 @animegeneral17 @uglybutuwu @cocoa-hooves @errvaaa