#Lotcf spoilers

[mewritingblog]

Cale:

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Kim Rok Soo with scars on his face but no smile lines or stress wrinkles. Kim Rok Soo who keeps his hands in his pockets because of the ugly breakage and dense callouses. Kim Rok Soo who always wears long sleeves. Kim Rok Soo who has never revealed to anyone in his team the extent of his scars. Kim Rok Soo who hides bandages under his clothes and wears all black so that if a bloodstain makes it through, it won’t be visible. Kim Rok Soo who works hard to hide anything scary about his appearance.

Kim Rok Soo who becomes Cale Henituse and assumes that no one will care now that he’s gone from the company.

Cale Henituse who has a young soft face. Cale Henituse who keeps his hands at his sides and he has to remind himself not to hide them because there’s nothing to hide anymore. Cale Henituse who still wears long sleeves but can roll them up or unbutton his shirt. Cale Henituse who has no scars to hide. Cale Henituse who starts off wearing colors and clean white like a noble but wears the black uniform during battles because he knows it hides blood well, blood that will probably be his own. Cale Henituse who finds it easier to hide the scars of his past than physical scars.

Cale Henituse who has a new freedom with his body, because now the pain is internal and he can wipe off the blood from his lip without visible reminders to burden his companions.

Cale Henituse who feels fine but his complexion is pale and his body is thin.

Kim Rok Soo who is strong but he hides his wounds and the past painted onto his skin under dark clothing.

The person who hurts because he cares.

The person who hides because he cares.

The person who hides and hurts but can’t see when other people care for him behind the walls he’s built up.

Kim Rok Soo.

Cale Henituse.

Cold-blooded leader.

Young Master Silver Shield.

The same bleeding heart, two sides of one coin.

[daredevil-vagabond]

my take + commentary for Kim rok soo and white star

[weirdsht]

Cliché - LoTCF & Venion Stan! Reader

notes: ngl i took more time dwelling whether i should make this a series. but i never did two series at once because i can't handle the commitment, so i compromised by making it a long oneshot. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: I put my psych major to work while writing this fic so...

tags: TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE TAGS (dw nothing too graphic for every warning) depression, eating disorder, anxiety, self-loathing, torture and abuse, guilt, like lots of guilt, passive to mild suicidal thoughts, not being able to control your body, catatonic depression, anhedonia, blood, cursing, vague novel spoilers, Taylor Stan being the best brother out there, open ending i think, can be seen as hurt/comfort

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Navigation Masterlist Platitude (pt. 2)

Tak Tak Tak

The sound of the horses of the carriage filled your ears as soon as you woke up.

…Wait horses?

How could there be horses when you were sure you were inside a lecture hall?

“Young master I’m glad you’re awake. We are nearing Viscount Tolz’s territory.”

Viscount Tolz? That sounds familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it as you just woke up.

You observed the unfamiliar place you woke up in. You seem to be inside a carriage, years of reading manhwas, manhuas, mangas and web novels have gotten you familiar as to what they looked like. 

Observing the interior a bit more, you notice that the carriage you are in seems luxurious. That and the servant riding a horse outside the carriage window just called you “young master”. 

‘Did I transmigrate? I swear I was just nodding off during one of my lectures…’

“You. What date is it? My head feels fuzzy from sleeping in this uncomfortable carriage.”

‘I’ve rotten my brain reading that damn isekai genre. I already know the drill, I should be a villain or something. I guess I should be glad I didn’t end up as an animal, those things have gotten popular these days…’

You silently shivered at the thought of being a bird or a snake.

“I’m sorry about the seat young master. You’re custom cushion should be arriving tomorrow. As for the date, it is currently year 780 of the Felix Calendar.”

Shit

By the calendar mentioned you could already tell what series you transmigrated to. There was only one series you know that uses Felix Calendar.

Lout of the Count’s Family

And it looks like you got sucked into that novel a year before things began.

“As soon as that arrives install it in my carriage. This thing is as hard as a brick.”

Contrary to what you say, the seat is very soft and comfortable. However, if you really did transmigrate as a villain like in all those manhwas you’ve read then you figured you have to act as bratty as possible. 

“I understand young master. We are nearing the villa soon, I’m sure young master Neo has prepared your room so you can rest.”

Fuck. You’re fucked.

Out of all the small villains in existence you just had to steal the body of a dragon abuser. You just had to get in the body of Venion Stan.

Venion out of all people. Even Neo Tolz or Adin or Duke Fredo would’ve been better picks.

But no, the gods of this world just had to put you in the body of an atrocious villain that has no use.

Never mind running away in the countryside while enjoying all the inheritance, there’s no way that black dragon is going to leave you alone.

…And for sure the black dragon is already 3 years old, there’s no saving you now. Anger and despair are already planted in that poor baby’s heart.

Everything moved too quickly to your liking. One moment you were in the carriage, then next Neo was greeting you. After you blinked you’re already in the black dragon’s cell.

‘Can I survive a year before Cale comes here to get the dragon?’

The black dragon can’t use mana, let alone dragon fear. But his vicious gaze full of animosity is already enough to make you feel guilt and fear.

He looked so pitiful. The cell might be spacious, but a cage will still be a cage. He was just there, in the middle of the cell. Chained and unable to fight back.

The buffet in the middle doesn’t help the queasiness you feel in your stomach.

“Do-”

‘Don’t bother with it, I won't be visiting the dragon further.’

The words you want to say are stuck in your throat. Some unknown force is stopping you from uttering them out.

You figured it was so that things would still go according to the plot.

‘I know I wasn’t the greatest in my previous life, but was I so bad that I must experience this?’

Tap Tap Tap

Heels of your shoes tapped against the ground as you walked towards the table. You tried to stop your body, but it was useless. No matter how hard you try to stop yourself you just keep moving.

“Start.”

Your voice- no Venion’s voice said and the torturer started whipping the dragon.

Gulp

There’s a bile in your throat threatening to show itself. However, you swallowed it. The scene may look horrendous, but you didn’t look away. You didn’t stop eating the feast in front of you. You didn’t stop laughing at the small dragon’s demise.

More like you couldn’t.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go back to your world and curl up in your bed. You wanted all of this to be a dream.

‘Is this the doing of the gods? If so then why must they be cruel.’

“Is there anything else you want to do young master?”

“No just go out. All of you. I will follow in a short while”

Following your order, everyone in the dungeon started heading out. After a few seconds, there was no one but you and the dragon in the room.

Bleurgh!

As soon as there was no one else in the room you vomited. Good thing there was a bathroom attached in the dungeon. The bathroom door was wide open as you puked your gut out, showing the black dragon a view of your pale face. Despite that you didn’t care, your only focus was to get rid of the horrible feeling running through your body.

It’s not as if the dragon would care about its torturer.

That night you spent the entire time in your bed tossing and turning. Too tired to sleep but too scared to face the nightmares you have to combat every time you do.

“Go find a magician or something and commission a temperature-regulating device. I want it installed at the cave before we visit the Tolz territory again.”

“As you wish your highness. However, aren’t you spending a bit too much on a mere pet?”

“You dare think I’m buying all these things for that pesky dragon? I’m buying it for my own comfort, you should be aware of how I want to be comfortable all the time.”

“It seems I made a mistake. I shall prepare everything you desire for the next time you visit the villa.”

Six months has already passed since you became Venion Stan. Adjusting wasn’t easy, especially when there are more times when you can’t control your body than when you can.

But still, you persevered.

It wasn’t like you had a choice anyway. You have already taken over this body so you have to live in it. That and there’s also the fact that you want the original plot to go smoothly.

You want the black dragon to experience justice.

So you persist. Even when the atrocities you did make you puke. Even when you want to kill yourself.

You didn’t

It wasn’t right.

You may not be the original Venion Stan, but it wouldn’t be right to take away the revenge the black dragon deserves. That was why you decided to persevere.

Persevere now and suffer at the dragon's hands later before finally dying.

That was your plan.

You didn’t care about other things anymore. Money, territory, power; none of those things mattered to you anymore. Too disgusted with yourself and everything you have been doing to even attempt to enjoy those things.

However

There’s a silver lining in all of this.

After a month of being in your new body, you have found a loophole. You found a way to combat some of the restrictions to your actions. As long as you sound selfish and villainous enough, you can get away with saying and doing most things.

Using this knowledge to your advantage, you slowly made life for the dragon easier. You bought a lot of things such as cushions, a more comfortable collar, and the temperature-regulating device you just ordered. You also used this fact to lessen your hold on both Taylor Stan and the underworld.

“Venion, I heard you withdrew the people watching over your older brother.”

You scowled at Marquis Stan’s words as if the mere mention of Taylor Stan upsets you.

“Father, what can that cripple do? He has no legs, no power, and barely has any money. Putting people to watch over someone like that will only be a waste of resources.”

Luckily, the marquis agreed with your reasoning and let the situation go while praising how smart you are.

‘Hopefully by this Taylor Stan can gather more information now that my people are now hovering over him.’

That night you managed to sleep for approximately 30 minutes. The longest sleep you’ve experienced since coming over to this world.

Bleurgh!!

It was another torture session and once again you were vomiting everything you ate that week after the session. 

While you were busy trying to not make a mess on the bathroom floor, you didn’t notice a certain young dragon observing you.

He may be three years old and he may not know much but his still smart because he's a dragon. That was why he noticed the changes in his captor that started around 8 months ago. 

The young dragon noticed the hesitation in your eyes whenever you entered the dungeon. How you were puking from self-hatred and not because of how bad the food was like you said. How your laugh is soulless, especially when he’s being tortured. 

How you stagger the slightest bit while standing up after those sessions. How your hands shook ever so slightly from guilt. How you tried to make the cell as comfortable as possible for him despite saying you were doing it for your own comfort. 

How your eyes look more lifeless each time he sees you.

The young dragon noticed all of it. He may not know what caused the change, but he knows that everything you’re doing is against your volition.

“Fuck I lost my appetite already. I’m going back to my room. Feed those scraps to that dragon.”

You ordered your servants on your way out. Walking as if your entire body wasn’t shaking ten seconds ago.

The black dragon just watches you with observant eyes. 

The “scraps” you were talking about were the feast that was barely even touched. It had always been like this for a few months now. You would barely touch your food and give it to the dragon in the guise of treating him like a dog.

For now, the young one accepts the food. He’ll figure out your intentions later.

“Lessen the guards at the dungeon. Remove all the cushions too, I’m going to change them. Do the same thing to the dragon’s collar too. While you’re at it increase the guards stationed at my quarters. Put the guards in the cave to my room.”

It’s the fated day. Time passed and now is already the day the black dragon will be rescued by Cale, Choi Han, and the cat tribe children. You already met them earlier and acted as arrogant as you could.

Hence the preparation. You need to make it look like the dragon was kept in a horrible condition. Of course, he was… but like much more worse conditions.

“Assassins have been increasing their attempts lately. If I see someone assigned to my room not doing your jobs I’m going to feed you to the sharks. Oh, and you.”

You pointed at a random servant passing by.

“Here’s some gold, buy some alcohol from the inn. Don’t tell anyone I was the one who bought it.”

“May I ask what you’re going to do with the alcohol young master?”

Everyone knows that Venion Stan deemed things not noble enough as disgusting. But you felt guilty for pushing that old man around earlier so you made an excuse.

“Depends on my mood. I’m feeling generous so if you all guard my room tonight then I’ll give you the alcohol tomorrow to drink.”

Everyone held in their shock.

“But if you don’t then I’m going to throw each bottle in your heads while drinking real wine.”

With that, you turned around to lie down on your bed.

That night was the same as every other night you spent in this world. Sleepless. However, that night you felt some weight being lifted off your shoulders as you heard the ruckus Choi Han was causing outside.

‘He should be curled up in Cale’s lap while looking at me viciously’

You stealthily peeked at Cale as you walked towards your seat. Just a moment ago he was trying to rile you up by acting obnoxious. It was hard to try and act like you were keeping your composure when you agreed with everything he said.

“What the..!” 

‘Shit did I not put enough strength into my acting?’

You barely felt your blonde hair sway as you slapped the table in supposed shock at Taylor Stan’s entrance.

‘Maybe I should’ve forced myself to eat a little bit more before coming here…’

Gritting your teeth, you ignore the black spots dancing in your vision. Today is a vital day, you can’t ruin the script by fainting because you only ate 3 spoonfuls during breakfast.

Luckily, it looks like everything is going according to the plot. Based on everyone’s reaction, you looked like an enraged noble.

Days following that event were even more chaotic. Not only was the terrorist attack in the plaza terrifying but trying to act as if you were trying to hold on to your position when you just wanted to give it to Taylor was even tougher.

As usual, you persevered.

Comforted yourself at the thought that in a few months, you can embrace death’s sweet presence.

“Do I look different without the blood?”

You felt scared and relieved at the sight of the black dragon that now goes by Raon Miru.

Scared because even though you have resigned yourself to your fate, and felt like you deserve it even, you still feel fear for what’s about to come.

Relief because he looks healthy. Chubby even. You were glad that he was living a good life after he got away from you.

Disregarding your feelings, you let the poisonous fog into your body. Resigning yourself to the four days of hell waiting.

Ugh…

Your body feels sluggish when you wake up.

“What the… It hasn’t even begun yet why does that bastard’s eyes already look dead?”

“That’s what I was telling you human! That punk's eyes tell a different story from his actions.”

Soft. Whatever you were lying down on felt soft. It wasn’t like what you’ve read in the novel where Venion was lying down on the hard ground. The magic collar was also soft. It felt similar to the one you bought for Raon a year ago. 

You would know because you made sure to pick the softest one yourself.

“His eyes look more dead than when I last saw him at that cave.”

Eyes? Were they talking about yours?

You didn’t know. You didn’t care.

You just want everything to end.

Gasp!

Someone gasped, you think it was one of the kittens.

“T-tears! Why is he crying? I only put paralysis in poison earlier.”

Crying? You were crying?

You sit up. It was hard because of the chains tying your arms but you still did it.

As you look down on your lap, tears are indeed flowing.

‘Why am I crying? Wasn’t I waiting for this day?’

Everything was already planned in your head. You get tortured then you will go crazy. Then you will kill yourself and make everyone believe you did it because you’re crazy.

So why are you crying now?

Why are you in tears as if you don’t deserve what’s happening to you?

Why do you weep as though you haven’t committed several crimes this past year?

How dare you do so.

How dare you act so pitifully when the child you tortured is right in front of you?

Shameless. Till the end, you’re so shameless.

Click! 

Thunk!

Beacrox unlocked the magic collar. As he did you saw it falling on the ground.

“Ah, so there really was fur inside…”

Your voice sounded soulless. It sounded so dead that even you were shocked at how you sounded.

But it also felt cathartic.

After two years of trying to act lively. Two years of acting as if you were fighting for something.

You can finally let out your real emotions.

Two years. It took more than two years for you to be granted that privilege. 

“Speak. I heard you bought the same thing for Raon.”

“You really named him Raon…”

Beacrox grabbed your collar. He looked furious. If you remember things correctly, he just heard about the dragon’s story a while ago so you understand his feelings.

“He told you to answer. Why did you buy something like that after 3 years?”

“I was getting tired of looking at the hard metal… There was nothing in that cave but stone and metal…”

Your tears are still flowing. It looks like they were crying a whole year’s worth. 

Despite that, you were not shaking, nor were your eyes looked sad.

Contrarily, you looked like those creepy dolls with soulless eyes that cried in horror films.

That low-key scared everyone in the room.

“Before, when I was three, I saw you shaking every time you came to the cave. Why was that?”

What’s happening? Why is there a sudden interrogation? You signed up for torture not for a cross-examination.

Still, you answered the dragon.

“I can’t tell.”

“Is it related to how you can’t seem to say what you want at times?”

Just how much did that kid notice in the few times you visited him?

“Yes. When are you going to get started? I need to meet with my hyung after this…”

Meet him and then die.

So please hurry up already.

“Hey punk, you sound like you already know what’s going to happen.”

“It’s obvious. This place looks exactly like that damn cave.”

You were getting tired of talking.

Actually, you were tired. Period.

“But it doesn’t look like how I left the cave when you rescued him.”

“Yes, because that wasn’t how the cave I lived in looked like. It looked like this.”

And the “this” Raon was talking about felt more homey. There were soft lights and a bunch of pillows and cushions. There were even some stuffed toys and blankets.

Was this how you decorated Raon’s cave?

You can’t remember.

Not that you care.

“Can we get started already please?”

“I thought you were a sadist, not a masochist.”

Something snapped inside you at that moment. You didn’t know why it was Choi Han’s comment that riled you up. Maybe it wasn’t the comment but the waiting that set you off.

“Just do it already! Are you dumb?! This fucking plot will not move unless you fucking torture me!”

In that moment you felt a searing pain in your chest.

“Argh!”

Blood flowed out from your mouth.

‘So that’s what happens when I try to push the restrictions.’

Coughing out blood when you’re body was already weak from not eating and sleeping enough was bound to cause you to faint.

And faint you did.

“Young master Cale said you were unconscious for 4 days. The doctor told me you were both malnourished and fatigued. One of your servants confessed that it’s an achievement if you eat 4 spoonfuls every meal. The young master also mentioned how it seems like you were forced to do everything you’ve done… Just what is happening? Hmm? Tell this hyung of yours.”

“Hyung…”

In the end, you didn’t get tortured…

“What’s going to happen now? What’s going to happen to me?”

You diverged from the fate carved out for Venion Stan.

That made you scared.

The restriction placed upon you to prevent you from straying from the plot scared you.

“Everything will be okay. But you need to tell me what’s going on.”

Taylor Stan hugged you, and you felt disgusted with yourself that you dare find warmth and comfort in that hug. Disgusted that you dared cry in front of him when you tried to kill him in the past.

But you couldn’t help it.

You couldn’t help that your hyung was soft and caring even though he was stern and strict. 

“I’m scared hyung. I’m a horrible person.”

As you speak you notice Cale in the corner of the room. He was trying to go out to give you two some privacy.

“Please stay.”

‘You deserve to hear the truth too.’

Cale stopped moving at your words. 

At that moment you decided to spill everything. Venion Stan’s role was already done. Even if it wasn’t, you already strayed from the path written for him. So you’re pulling all stops now.

“I’m a horrible person that did horrid crimes. I know that, I did them with my own hands after all. But I didn’t want to do them.”

You felt that stinging pain slowly coming back.

“There are times when I can’t control the things I say or do. No matter how hard I try my body won’t listen to me.”

The taste of blood in your mouth is back. You tried to act as calm as possible and nonchalantly spit it out in a napkin as if you were just wiping your mouth.

“I think it’s the god’s doing. It’s fated that I must be a bad guy for everything in the future to work out.”

You wiped your mouth again.

“I couldn’t resist it. But I found a loophole.”

Wipe

“If I make it look like what I was doing is villainous then my movements will not be restricted as much.”

“So when you removed the people watching over my residence..?”

You nodded while wiping your mouth once again.

However, this time Taylor snatched the napkin out of your hands.

“You’re bleeding..!”

“Ah…”

You were wiping so much blood that it already seeped out. Causing for Taylor and Cale to see the blood.

“I should’ve used a darker colour…”

“Stop talking. I’ve already heard everything I need to know.”

“I have nothing else to say to you anyway.”

The two men started walking out of the door when you called out to someone.

“Young master Cale, can you please stay? I must tell you something.”

The marquis and the young master exchanged a glance before one of them left the room.

“What is it?”

At Taylor’s exit, Raon undid his invisibility.

“It’s not fate.”

Cale and Raon looked at you as if you’d lost your head. Honestly, you wish you did. Being beheaded right now is better than living with these horrible feelings.

“It’s plot. You should know what I’m talking about.”

Luckily, Marquiss Stan left the napkin so you could wipe your mouth again.

“I think the universe, not the gods, made a mistake with me. But despite their mistake, they are insistent on going with the plot laid out.”

You discarded the napkin. It’s already drenched with too much of your blood that it can’t be used anymore.

“But don’t worry. This plot is very beneficial to you. You just have to follow whatever you think is right. You can disregard whatever anyone says. Even if that anyone is a god.”

‘Unlike me’

Cale handed you a handkerchief and you wiped your mouth with it.

“Lastly, I’m sorry Raon Miru-nim. My only choice was to either keep torturing you or throw you out. I couldn’t throw you out, because if I did then you wouldn’t meet the young master.”

“It’s okay… I am great and mighty so I figured out long ago that you were being forced.”

“Thank you.”

With that the dragon became invisible again and the two head out of the room.

Cleanup was easy. Of course, it was. Everything was already planned out beforehand.

The previous marquis was arrested and his people were successfully rooted out. You got sentenced to house arrest.

Meaning, you got a slap on the wrist.

It confused you. Why did you get such a light sentence when you did so many horrible things? It didn’t even feel like house arrest because your hyung always kept you by his side and personally took care of you.

“How about you? How are you and your brother doing?”

You heard Cale speaking on the other side of the communication device. But you just kept your head low and stared at your palms, unmoving.

“That…”

Marquis Stan hesitated.

“His been listless since that day. I checked with an expert and they said his in a catatonic state.”

You blur out the rest of their conversation. It wasn’t like there was a need to listen anyway. There’s nothing for you to do now. Your role is done but you can’t die.

You're tired.

So so fucking tired.

Tired of waking up. Tired of moving. Tired of thinking. Tired of breathing.

Tired of living.

So you opted to not move. Tune out the world around you. Maybe if you’re lucky they’ll leave you to rot in that lavish room of yours.

“Your eyes look more lively today. Do you have enough energy to speak?”

You blinked once. Then twice. You don’t know how many days have passed already. All of them look like a giant blur in your mind.

For the first time in a while, you moved your body to look at your surroundings.

As you take in your surroundings you notice that there’s a storm outside. That and Taylor Stan seem to have put you in the wheelchair he used to use.

“Taylor Stan…”

“Call me hyung.”

Did you deserve to? Well, it doesn’t matter since he ordered you to.

“Hyung”

“Yes, my dongsaeng?”

“Why won’t you kill me?”

The wheelchair stopped in its tracks. It was because the one pushing it stopped walking.

“Why would I kill you?”

“Why would you not kill me?”

You had no way of knowing just how scared Taylor was at this moment. Your voice sounded so soulless. As if you were asking about the weather and not about your death. He was already scared that one day he would just wake up to find you dead. Your questions and your way of asking them are not helping his fear.

“I told you, I wouldn’t kill my family.”

“Ah…”

Silence lingered as the two of you went to your room. Inside, the first thing you noticed was the door on the wall.

“That’s a connecting door. It’s connected to my room.”

“Very fitting for a criminal like me that needs to be monitored at all times.”

“That’s not…”

Taylor Stan chose to sigh instead of answering. After he did, he called the servants to help you with your nighttime routine.

“You all can go now, I’ll take it from here.”

Servants filed out of your room as your brother took the brush from a servant's hand.

“You know that this is useless right?”

“Why is that?”

Taylor continued brushing your blonde hair that now reaches past your shoulders.

“It’s not like I’ll sleep. There’s never a night where I slept for more than 30 minutes. I think.”

“Maybe if I stay by your side you’ll sleep better.”

You didn’t respond. You just watched in the mirror how your hyung gently brushed your hair. At some point, you pulled your legs up to your chest and started hugging them.

Taylor Stan didn’t seem to mind your movements. In fact, he seems to encourage them.

“Let’s eat dinner now. Do you want to walk?”

“No.”

The mere thought of moving more than you already did makes you feel nauseated.

Your hyung nodded and started pushing the wheelchair again. As he did the sight of the food prepared on your table caught your eyes. It wasn’t a feast like how you were served in the past.

Instead, there were just two simple identical meals on the table.

It reminded you of how you used to eat your meals back on earth.

“You’re eating too?”

“I haven’t eaten yet. I figure we can eat together since Cage is not here.”

She must be in the super rock’s villa or something.

Eat together was what you did. Well, more like Taylor ate while you take a few bites and play with your food.

“Do you not want to eat anymore?”

“No.”

“It’s fine, just leave it there. You already ate thrice more than you usually would. It’s okay to take it slow.”

That’s true. You ate 10 spoonfuls today when you would usually just take a bite or two. Three at most.

Maybe a gentle company and a simple meal did the trick. But you aren’t sure.

After the meal, you brushed your teeth before lying down on the bed. Taylor was sitting on a couch beside your bed as promised.

That night, for the first time since you arrived in this world, you managed to sleep almost the whole night.

[your--isgayrights]

hey sorry if youve already mentioned reading this before and i havent seen it yet but have you read trash of the count's family? it has that wholesome found family vibe that i really liked about orv

also what would u think of a crossover between them?

Yeah I read it last summer!

Well, I know its still currently updating but the last thing I read was (SPOILER FOR TRASH OF THE COUNT'S FAMILY)

when they started talking about OG Cale's mom and i haven't had the chance to get back to it. Like I said in the last ask I'm into drama/romance rn and TCF is very firmly like aromantic in my opinion which I really appreciate about it. Like you said, the similarity with ORV is that Cale is like: I'm here to build and maintain a found family, not fuck around. Really scratches my face-slapping/action itch when I have it.

I've never really read fic about it tho, I think that's mainly because most fic I see advertised in the tag is ship fic with Cale getting some and I just so happen to think he's an ace/aro king, comes down to personal preference. I think there's a lot of potential for people to take the TCF characters and make a narrative about how platonic love can be inherently queer and subversive, because in so many cases the one thing that saves the characters from their fates in the original novel is Cale just... knowing about them and caring that they continue to exist, which is sweet.

Then like I said before most of the x-over stuff I like is characterxsetting swaps, not character-character meet-cutes. I think the main difference of ORV characters in the TCF setting from OG TCF is that KDJ as Cale would be just slightly more of a loser, okay? So like they both have these elements of "I know this story so I can seem cool and OP at the start as I slowly start making more and more sacrifices to maintain that image." But I think that Cale's absolutely hilarious POV that's slowly revealed of "actually I'm an apocalypse vet who read one book ever on his day off to try to keep the PTSD at bay" is a REALLY different perspective from Mr. Kim Reader who is obsessed with Ways of Survival and creates the universe by writing self-insert fanfiction. There's also the "I'm just here to slack off because I already lived a life full of trauma and strife" vs the "I've been showing a suicidal lack of care towards myself and don't believe I have a future because I already lived a life full of trauma and strife." Then, critically, I think that both the character of KRS and KDJ are getting something from their new world that they couldn't get in their old one, bonds with other people. ORV, however, in contrast to TCF, asks the question "Am I using these people for my own gains? Is saving them really something they should be grateful to me for? Aren't I the same guy who is alone and deserves to die?" and Cale is just like "I saved you, you're gonna live in my house now, I won't emotionally confront the impact that caring for you has had on my life unless its in a trial of life and death, k thanx bye."

Okay okay, this got away from me... basically what I'm saying is that it's hard to do 1 to 1 roleswaps with these characters, so I think the crossover setting would be a bit complicated.

Luckily, ORV as a narrative is literally constructed to make any crossover narrative ever completely possible. I would like take a point in time in the cannon of ORV, right after the divorce arc where YJH found out he was in a book and then they were put into like a scenario based around a different world (Kaiznex arc or however its spelled idk) and then have those roles be the world of TCF. So like KDJ wakes up as Cale and YJH wakes up as Choi Han and KDJ has to explain the setting to YJH and its like...

KDJ: OH haha this must be one of those books were a regular guy ends up as a character and knows everything about the protagonist so he helps him and...

YJH: ...

KDJ: ...

And then they just keep going, so I know they weren't in the kaizer permanente or whatever but imagine: biyoo as Raon, SYS and LGY as On and Hong, obvi very cute. And then I literally cannot be arsed to recall if there are any couples in TCF so IDK where JHW or LHS would end up that would have the same emotional resonance as the whole two palace people who are only kept sane by each other thing.

and I think HSY should be the white star AND also Choi Han's ancestor who wrote the cryptic books okay next question.

KRS in ORV setting would honestly be just like "oh not this fucking shit again." Literally hanging on by a thread in this universe where he read a book that he thought was a poor fictional history written by someone who wasn't there about "skills" from "stars" instead of having just plain ability users. I think if Choi Han were a regressor, it would be most fun if Cale didn't know and only read the first part where he messed everything up in 3rd and was like I can fix that and Choi Han is like Who?? Is??? this guy??? and then Alberu should be the author because him and Cale are funny like HSY and KDJ are funny. Alberu stealing jobs from women by being a funny bitch smh... Honestly I think that TCF characters in an ORV-like setting is sort of already answered by the Cale goes back in time in KRS's life thing and fixes stuff for them then has to go home bc he's white now.

OK. those are just my thoughts tho its been a while since i read tcf so idk how accurate that is, judge for yourself

[manwtv]

We got 2 reckless manhwa main characters whose names start with "Kim" now (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[xyrus-academy]

who gave these two the right to be so good-looking??

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Cale is so ready to take on everything.

I’m rereading the heart scene and, just- his life as Kim Rok Soo had such an impact on how he handles pressure, it’s actually sad. When he was KRS, people relied on him. Heavily. As the team leader, people saw him as a life line.

He never took breaks, he put himself in danger and sacrificed his well-being by using his abilities (for example, Instant), and as we hear later on- he had a 0% mortality rate. When people around him were weak, he became strong in order to overcome it. Nobody died when he became the Team Leader.

And in the world they lived in- yes! I’m not surprised at all that people latched onto him. No matter how much they care about him, they couldn’t help but allow him to save them. Over and over again.

So Cale had this expectation for himself too! When others give up -> he does not. In front of impossible tasks, he rises up, because that’s how it should be. How could someone who had so little as a child- no parents, no friends, no stability or safety or reliability- how could he possibly give up what he’s managed to attain? How could he let his friends get hurt when he knows that he could be hurting instead?

And then he becomes Cale, and he relaxes. His new companions are strong, and he’s not going to be with them for very long anyway. He will slack off, chill out, and take his hands off the wheel.

But he can’t- he just can’t stop helping them. Like an addiction, he helps Choi Han get a connection to Ron and Beacrox. Then he saves Raon. He helps Lock, Amiru, Mary, Alberu, Queen Litana. It’s so impulsive. It’s for his own benefit but he tangles himself into the story because tampering with Fate is a side hobby for him.

Then he develops relationships and friends- and when he sees danger approaching he stands up against it like a solid wall. Over and over again.

And, what? He naturally expects the people behind him to stay behind that wall. To listen to him and help, but to stay safe in the long run. He expects them to back off when something looks impossible. Because- well, he’s right here isn’t he? Overcoming the impossible is second nature for him!

But the people around him… aren’t standing by passively, like they did when he was KRS. When he was KRS they let him protect them for 15 years. Then he’s Cale Henituse and they don’t. They learn from him. They learn to stand up against the unpredictable and the indomitable. They see him and learn.

They aren’t happy about his sacrifices, but he tells them to be full and content and to eat well… so they listen. For a while. They understand wisdom and they take his words and learn their limitations.

Right until he stabs himself in the heart. What the fuck?! Biggest hypocrite in history right??! Can’t trust this guy to not bleed and sacrifice himself for shit!!!

So they angrily push aside his worry and their limits and they decide that it’s THEIR turn to protect him. Even against a GOD, Cale has shown them that nothing is impossible so they’re going to turn the tables and THEY’RE going to be the ones to cough blood!!

This scene is so heart wrenching, but it’s Cales disbelief that hurts the most. He’s stunned. He’s someone who can’t even imagine the lengths that a person would go for him. He’s a person who protects without ever expecting to receive that same effort.

Sure, he knows he’ll be protected. He’s not naive. But he puts 200% and expects 50-100%. He goes above and beyond, but prepares for average. Prepares for lackluster.

So when everyone tries to push him aside to protect him? He- he doesn’t even notice their efforts! It’s like looking for a leaf in a forest, but he’s supposed to be looking at the entire forest. Why would he think that they would give him a forest’s worth of leaves? He’s oblivious. So he looks for a single leaf.

Then they really do push him back and protect him- they defend against the orb that’s exploding and it’s like they’re screaming “It’s the forest! It’s always been the forest!”

And he’s lost. Absolutely, utterly lost. It’s heartbreaking, how distressed he is that his friends are hurting and they won’t let him handle it for them. He’s not even hurt, after all! He hasn’t fainted, he’s still useful! He’s ready! What he’s done so far hasn’t even been too difficult! Why won’t they let go and give it to him?

Everyone is so angry at him, or busy pitying him, that he’s left alone with this. While reading this scene I’m filled with a strong disconnect. He is surrounded by his friends but everyone is far away from him. Their goals have never been farther apart than this moment.

He’s always been one step ahead.

He’s always been ready. He’s always waiting.

And then he stabbed himself in the heart, and everyone but him felt the shift in the stars.

And then the next scenes are his friends trying to wrestle the responsibility out of his white-knuckled hands. They fight for it! Yet all the way until the orb’s time to explode, he holds onto it with an iron grip. I don’t even think he realized they were trying to take it out of his hands.

He kills the White Star, he Embraces the Ancient Powers, and he even manages to Embrace the Sealed God into the book and take over the temple in one move. We get to see everyone’s reactions to his stubbornness too.

So they become twice as stubborn. They cough up blood, they faint, they do 200% of what they’re naturally capable of. Why?

Because they saw Cale do it first. Because they refuse to let him do it again.

And Cale?

He can’t say anything.

[weirdsht]

"Would u like to hear me yap about regressor!reader x cale? (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡ or not? ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^" "If it's a fic prompt why not? 👀"

OKKKKK 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 .

Ughhh imagine Cale and the gang with someone who regressed because of them and they had no clue about it. In the 1st timeline, everything was fine, they meet the fam, do crazy things, and form relationships until they realized a lot of their companions get hurt or shockingly die. They were a transmigrator like Cale as well, they read the TCF novel, so they were heavily confused a lot of times when out of expectations scenarios happened. Like why are things that never happened in the TCF novel keep happening?

One time they died, then unexpectedly regressed to the starting line, like they came back to the place and age they first gained vision of the TCF world. They try to make everyone safe all while forming unbreakable bonds with her companions at heart.

Sooo in the end they find out that everything happened because of their existence. They were an anomaly, something that shouldn't mess with the original plotline for the journey of Cale Henituse and his family, so that was why they were the target, but somehow, their enemies end up causing harm to the wrong people a lot of times because they try to fight before reader can even lift a finger. Though, none of them know that every time reader dies by their enemy's hands, they regress to their own starting point before they meet everyone. Timeskip they end up dying again lol

In the third timeline, angst and shi, they avoid everyone since they were the main characters and they weren't her enemy's enemy. Thankfully, they survive until the end of the war.

Imagine reader and their loved ones meet again :(( they don't remember about them but somehow the gang keeps stumbling upon reader and they keep seeing weird scenarios and thoughts about reader which confuses them to the max (AND WHY IS READER VISIBLY AVOIDING THEM??? Sus) because they've never met this person before, especially Cale

Insert guilty as sin's "I'm seeing visions, am i bad or mad or wise?" LOLOL

If it's too long or u can't understand the shit i just spilled, it's ok to js keep this as an unanswered ask

I just like to yap and overshare 😭💟

Apparently Not - LoTCF & Regressor! Reader

tags: gender-neutral reader, regressor reader, vague novel spoilers, hurt/comfort (not sure if it hurts though), very loosely inspired by how orv uses the disconnected film theory

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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The first time was confusing.

Scenarios that did not happen in the novel kept happening. For some reason despite Cale’s actions being mostly the same, the timeline has taken another course. Things did not go their way. It seems like the enemies are cunning too. They laid out plans that [name] had never read before. Their inadequacy caused the regressor to die at the hands of the magic spearman.

The second time was devastating.

[Name] thought that they got it this time. Thought that they had prepared enough even if things went south.

But why..?

Why is nothing going Cale’s way?

Why are they still losing?

Why is the sword of disaster piercing their heart?

Why are Raon’s teary eyes the last thing they could see before they die?

[Name] thought they were prepared. They thought that with the help of the original novel and their first regression, they could get through everything.

But that was not the case. Time and time again things that did not happen before kept happening. No matter what they did all the favours stack up to the White Star’s favour.

In the [Name] died whilst unable to do anything.

The third time felt like an enlightenment.

“Haa–!!”

Huff. Huff

[Name] woke up with a jolt. They could still feel the fiery sword piercing through their skin and bones. However, when they touch where they have been stabbed there’s nothing there. Their body was perfectly intact as if everything was merely a nightmare.

They must be back then. Back in the starting line. Back to the time when Cale and the others have not met the regressor yet.

‘If I don’t insert myself into the narrative maybe things will go according to the novel?’

Yeah, that must be it.

And so [name] did their best to blend in as a background character. Of course, they still helped behind the scenes. But they made sure to stay out of the spotlight. They have been better at doing that compared to Cale anyway.

They manage to both survive and not have any run-ins with what used to be their family for a long time. It hurt [name] to deliberately avoid the people they love the most, but it had to be done. They can’t be selfish for it will cause the world’s demise.

However, everything changed during the war against White Star.

“Have I met you somewhere before?”

Alberu asks them as they bump into each other after the battle on the Stan Territory. This sent [name] into a mild frenzy. Their original goal was to just weaken the enemies from the shadows, help free the prisoners and then disappear as they they never existed. But now they have come face-to-face with Alberu.

“I wasn’t aware that the rising sun of our kingdom was such a flirt.”

It took everything in the regressor to not cry. Just seeing the quarter-dark elf’s face was enough to make them emotional. Enough to make them remember all those late nights they have spent together talking. All the days they spent bonding over baking. All those talks they had about Cale being a headache.

Not able to take any more overwhelming emotion, [name] excused themself. Disappearing in the shadows once more. Leaving Alberu confused at the interaction.

That night Alberu had dreams of ranting all his dongsaeng problems to a certain regressor that he was sure he had never met before.

What [name] thought was a one-time thing became a frequent occurrence.

Choi Han, Raon, On, Hong, Ron, Beacrox, Rosalyn, Eruhaben…

[Name] kept running into them like a joke by fate.

As if the world wanted to rub it in their face that they could never be part of that family. That their presence will only bring them demise.

So every time they have a run-in with one of them they run away. They didn’t care if they looked like a frightened dog with its tail tucked between its legs. Didn’t care if the interaction always left the other party confused. Could not care if sometimes tears are pooling in their eyes when they have to turn their back once more.

That was until [Name] encountered Cale.

The one person they have been avoiding the most.

Others were fine. Sure it hurts having to run away from them but [name] can just cry it off for 2 nights and they’ll be able to function once more.

But not with Cale.

They can never run away from Cale.

Hence why silence lingered over them as they stared eye-to-eye. Both of them did not break eye contact even when a lone tear dripped on [name]’s cheek.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t know what’s gotten over me. I must’ve confused you for someone I know.”

[Name] tried to hastily wipe their tears as more flowed from their eyes. Their dam of emotions finally overflowed upon meeting Cale and there was nothing the regressor could do to stop it.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ll get out of your way now.”

They couldn’t see the redhead’s expression due to their tears. However, they were sure he was looking at them weirdly. The mere thought of it hurts, but it’s not as if [name] could blame him since he didn’t know them

Thus why they are now trying to walk away from the situation.

Keyword being try.

How could they when Cale is holding onto their wrist? When he pulled them back in his direction to wipe their tears away?

“You must’ve suffered quite a bit.”

Cale mumbled in their hair as he let the regressor cry in his chest.

The action confused [name]. Cale was kind, but not this kind towards strangers.

“What do you–”

[Name] tried to ask but Cale shoved their face in his chest more to prevent them from speaking.

“[Name]... My records never lied to me. The moment I saw you, recordings of our past timeline resurfaced.”

Ah, so that’s why…

“Then you must also know why I went this route. Let me go…”

Please let me go before I lose my will to fight.

Please let me go before I fall for your warmth once more.

Please…

“No, your place is with us. Everything will work out this time. I promise.”

Cale stroked [name]’s hair. He has no plans of letting them be on their own again. They’re family, even if Cale has to flip the world upside-down just to make sure they will remain one.

“You’ve been away for long enough. Let’s go home now.”

[weirdsht]

Another yapping session lol, I haven't done this in a while. Omfg tho, I didn't mean for this thing to be as long as I made it. I'm sorry shfgsidfhsfjgsdlg

By clicking read more you will be subjected to novel spoilers and my messy long rant about LoTCF. This is your warning.

I've thought about this for a long time but LoTCF is a fix-it novel. Not sure if someone thought about the same thing or if they have talked about it yet. But I've felt this way ever since I read about Kim Rok Soo's life.

After realising what he went through and just how hard his life is made me realise why he does the things he does. Why he has such a mindset. Why he values the little things other people would not even think about.

It made even more sense after hearing how he was collateral damage from the White Star's curse. How he can't hold the things he deemed dear close to him as he will always be bound to lose it. To lose them.

Lastly, it made me realise why the novel seems all sunshine and rainbows in the long run. Sure, there are angsty moments. Some moments and arcs made me bawl for weeks on end. Made me feel as though my heart was being ripped out of my chest (Looking at you earth lore). However, at the end of it all everyone on Cale's side is okay. It's like watching one of those old-school shonen animes where you know everyone will save the day with the power of friendship.

And I know I'm not the only one who noticed that. I saw a lot of discourse about how the series would be more interesting if someone actually died. If a lot was on the line. Something like ORV.

And omg does it piss me off so much.

Because once again LoTCF is a fix-it novel.

It's a novel about starting again. About Cale finally being able to hold and protect the things dear to him.

That's why it wouldn't make sense for him to lose more.

Plus, I genuinely think that if he loses one more thing important to him (non-material ofc) that would be his last straw. He has already been through so much. And it was because of something he didn't even have a clue about. Something he essentially had no business with if White Star just wasn't a greedy mfer.

I think some people also forget or doesn't realise the fact that this is also Cale's last chance. Like Ron and Choi Han who has lost their families several times and deemed their new group as their last chance. Their last family.

It's the same for Cale.

He already lost his biological parents. He already lost his brothers.

He can't lose his new family too.

That's why no one can die.

Despite that, as a reader, I am scared though. Scared at the lengths he's willing to go to protect his family.

Because this man has no self-preservation skills despite him always saying he has no plans of getting hurt or dying. I mean, I can't blame him for not knowing his worth. His life has been shit. He always had to go above and beyond to try and grasp the things he wanted only for them to still slip away from his fingertips. Like he's trying to collect running water with open palms.

And until now, even without the curse, he does the same thing. Because it's what he's used to. Maybe he subconsciously thinks that if his efforts dwindle a little he'll lose everything again. Not fully comprehending that it's fine now. That it's okay for him to breath a little.

Anyway, my point is I'm scared that at some point Cale will try to protect everyone and everything at his own cost. Will try to convince himself that he will be fine when he won't be. I mean I've already heard spoilers from book 2 and heard that's what seems to be happening right now.

I'm just scared that a point will come where Cale won't be able to come back from the decisions he makes in the name of protecting his family.

[weirdsht]

Flowerbed Full of Thorns - LoTCF & Reader

notes: this baby right here is the reason i asked for fluff reqs, it's been rotting in my notes for a few months so why not bring it to life. also pulled out my 1st year psych notes for this

tags: don't look too hard at the background or else you'll countless of plotholes, no gender specified, kinda vague earth spoilers major character death, nothing but angst

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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There are five known stages of grief. These stages are usually experienced by people who know they are dying. A coping mechanism brought upon the knowledge of their eternal rest.

However, it can also be experienced by people grieving another person’s death. A way for the living to slowly take in the news that they will never be with those loved ones in their lifetime ever again.

Which was why you knew you were already in the stages of grief when you tried to convince Kim Rok Soo to not go. To let others handle it.

To let you handle it.

“Let me do it. You will die if you take on that monster even if you can somewhat predict its movements and weakness.”

You desperately tried to convince your team leader.

“I’ll handle it better so let’s exchange positions okay? I’ll be in the vanguard.”

Bargaining

Defeating this monster will put an end to the apocalypse. Will put an end to the monsters roaming around the earth. 

But still.

Still, you try to bargain to not let Kim Rok Soo handle it despite knowing he has the biggest chance of defeating that thing.

Because you know that he will die.

And the two of you have lost so much already, how dare he leave you too?

“Rok Soo…”

Please…

Please listen.

Please don’t go.

Where would you go when Kim Rok Soo is gone?

What would you do when the last of your brother is dead?

You’ve already lost Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo. You can’t lose him too.

“I’ll do everything. I’ll do all your paperwork. I’ll let you slack off forever. Just please…”

Kim Rok Soo looked at you. It hurts his heart to leave you alone. He knows what it feels like to be abandoned. Be left alone.

But he cannot grant your wishes.

“I have to do this. If we defeat it your future will be bright. You won’t need to risk your life every day on the battlefield.”

That’s not what you want. Despite the monsters being gone there’s no way your future will be bright. How could it be? You’ve never had a family, and when you did two of them died.

And now the last one of your family is dying too.

Despite your pleas and tears, your team leader did not change his mind. He still chose to be at the vanguard of the operation. He was still the one who put an end to the cataclysm.

Kim Rok Soo died as a hero.

But you didn’t care. You didn’t care that he did it for your future. You didn’t care how everyone was singing praises of his name.

You just want your brother back.

Despite the name being “stages of grief” every human experiences it differently. Everyone has their version of grief. The first stage for some might be the last stage for another. It is also not linear. Some might revert to another stage before fully healing.

Some people’s emotions might be stronger than others.

“LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS HIS WILL!”

You shouted at the two people in front of your door. It’s been a week after the funeral for the people who have lost their lives bringing Korea– no Earth back to how it previously was. A week since everyone started adjusting to a world without monsters.

A week since you’ve been abandoned.

“Come on, the team leader told us to take care of you.”

Kim Min Ah tried to convince you to open the door, but you didn’t budge.

“I don’t care! Why should I listen to a dead man’s words!”

Anger

Both Kim Min Ah and Jung So Hoon knew that you were in despair. Which was why they were patient with you. You may have pulled yourself together at the funeral. Managed to say your piece with a calm demeanour. May have looked like the most composed being at the time. 

However, there’s no denying that you’re hurting.

Under all those exterior you put up, you’re just someone grieving.

And now those walls are cracking. Letting them have a look at just how much of a mess you are inside.

It has been a week since the funeral. During that week you have been staying at Kim Rok Soo’s apartment. You practically lived there anyway. Know the layout of the place like the back of your hands. Can navigate where everything is stashed away with your eyes closed.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us?”

“Positive.”

What would you even do if you go with them? They both have families. Have people to care for and people that will care for them.

While you have nothing.

At least not anymore.

Hence your venomous answer that was paired with the door closing shut. You hear the two talk for a good minute before leaving you.

You expect them to be back in two days’ time. It was routine by now.

“I’m tired of this.”

You mumbled to yourself as you thought about those two coming back in two days. You don’t want the same routine again.

Which was why you started packing.

You packed your things as well as Kim Rok Soo’s. You also brought Lee Soo Hyuk’s and Choi Jung Soo’s stashed away things with you.

It wasn’t much. All three men didn’t have many things with them. You have also only brought your clothes and memorabilia of the three of you.

With that, you left Kim Rok Soo’s empty apartment in the middle of the night.

Rejecting the idea that someone has died is normal. Especially when this someone meant the whole world to the person. It’s natural to not want to acknowledge the fact that they will never be with those loved ones again. Never to greet them good morning. Never to annoy them ever again.

Hence why some choose to avoid reality. Some people choose to live in their memories. Because there, that person will always be alive and waiting for them.

Some even go as far as to avoid the people trying to bring them back to reality. Run away from the rational voices who only want the best for them.

Nonetheless, not everyone who runs away is rejecting the notion that they have lost their loved ones. Sometimes they would just want to get away from others. Cope in their own way, away from everyone’s judgemental gaze.

Denial and Isolation

Gyeongnam

Choi Jung Soo’s hometown and your destination. You already bought the land and the mountain with it a few days ago. Construction for a new house, farm, and orchard has also started. Originally, you were planning on going there after everything was done.

But you don’t want to be in the city anymore.

You just want to settle in a quiet place where you can always think of your brothers.

So in the meantime, you stayed in a nearby hotel. Then paid for more workers so the construction of everything goes faster. All of that didn’t even put a dent in your pocket. How could it when all three Soos have left everything they own to you?

Well, originally Choi Jung Soo and Lee Soo Hyuk have said in their will that you and Kim Rok Soo are to split everything. But then Kim Rok Soo also died. In his will, he has stated that he wants everything he has accumulated to be given to you.

Kim Rok Soo’s “retirement fund” was enough to cover you for 3 lifetimes already. It made you wonder more why the hell that man was so cheap when it came to himself when he had so much cash.

But you can’t ask him anymore so you opted to just sit and wait in your hotel room.

Thank god for ability users. Thanks to them your new house was built faster, approximately only taking a month. You can finally move in and get out of that stuffy hotel room. The food was great but you’d much rather eat home-cooked food.

Preferably Kim Rok Soo’s cooking.

You dismiss the thought in your head as you unpack the things you have brought with you. This has already been your 4th mental breakdown of the week. You can’t have anymore, it keeps hindering your task of decorating the new house.

It was a simple house. Two floors and five bedrooms complete with a basement and an attic. The first floor contained the living room, kitchen, dining room, and even a recreation room. Upstairs were mostly bedrooms.

Four bedrooms and one office area.

No one needs to ask why you had that many bedrooms when you’re living alone.

You decorated each room similarly to how each one of them decorated their apartments. It was hard to do, just the mere sight of their belonging was enough to make you spiral sometimes. However, you still did it. Determined to make your brother’s retirement dreams come true.

One good thing did come out of it though.

Through living alone and doing the activities the Soos wanted to do, you finally took in the news that they were dead.

They were gone.

None of them are coming.

Acceptance

Just now are you accepting the fact that none of them will see the efforts you’ve made. They won’t be there to compliment you for making their passing talk come true. Won’t be there to complain about how you spent a good chunk of their savings on room service.

You were alone.

Oh god

You were alone and lonely.

At first, it made you spiteful. Why did the universe give you a sense of salvation? Why did it pull you out of your loneliness? And for what? Just for them to take it all back?

You hated it.

But that hate didn’t last long. Because above all else you still felt grateful.

Grateful that you met them. Grateful that you became part of their family. It may have been a short while, but that short while was the happiest of your life.

Hence why you continue doing what you intended to do in Gyeongnam.

You continued taking care of the orchard. Farming fruits and vegetables. Not forgetting to slack off once in a while. 

The last one was a requirement.

Kim Rok Soo is going to bite your head off if you don’t slack off in his stead.

At first, everything seemed fine. It looked as if things were looking up for you as you finally reached acceptance.

However, no recovery is linear. That simply is not possible. One is bound to stumble and fall back as they are learning to walk on their own feet.

That was why as days passed you could feel the sadness accumulate. Every morning you wake up in tears. At random times during the day, waterworks start.

In each step you take you feel the anguish. As though you are carrying the weight of the world and it keeps getting heavier.

Surprisingly, you didn’t just sit in one corner and cry like how the movies portrayed it. You continued doing your daily routine.

You don’t know if it’s stubbornness or perseverance but you’ll take it.

Deep sorrow consumed your entire being. It eats you alive every waking day as you accept how you don’t have a family anymore.

Depression

That was the conclusion you have come to one day.

You were fighting with yourself and you were losing that battle.

A battle harder than any monsters you’ve faced.

A battle you aren’t sure you can survive.

Perhaps that was why the gods took pity on you. Maybe they looked down on you and realised just how hard they made your life. Dawning on them how you essentially have everything yet nothing.

Maybe that was why you suddenly heard god’s voice in your head one day. Speaking to you with pity, as if he didn’t mean for you to fall into this state. To fall so hard at rock bottom.

[Do you want to be granted a chance to see some of them again?]

[weirdsht]

This is a fic idea I've been conjuring in my head for TOCF x reader thingy. So reader is from this messed up dimensions were the monsters couldn't be defeated and instead they become stronger. The situation only became worse as humans were forced to become monsters including you. So you've been on your own for Lord knows how long then all of a sudden you wake in this odd dimension with someone staring at you. So you attack them but the problem is that you might have attacked Cale Henituse.

Disorientated - lotcf & reader

notes: I forgot how I used to write so idk if I got worse or better lmaooo. also this is the last ask on my inbox but ik there was more a year ago, i think tumblr deleted it lol. Oh also I took humans becoming monsters metaphorically and not literally 😅

tags: novel spoilers (late part of book 1), no romance, gn!reader

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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8 years

It has been 8 years since the world has fallen into chaos. 8 years since the apocalypse happened. Monsters that looked as though they came from storybooks started roaming around as if they owned the place. No one could figure out how or why. All everyone knew was that one day these things appeared and killed masses.

5 years

It has been 5 years since everyone lost hope. At first, factions were formed and everyone had hoped to either get rid of the monsters or find a way to survive against them. However, it looks like the universe has forsaken your world and the people in it.

Not only did no one find the weakness of these monsters, but they also somehow grew stronger. They destroyed everything. From houses to food; every resource you could think of is now facing a scarcity. 

That was why humans decided to forego their last remaining humanity and let their selfish natures take over. People started betraying their factions, sacrificing their friends and family to get food, killing fellow humans for a place to sleep in, and many more atrocities.

You were no exception to this rule. You were far from selfless and goody-two-shoes. The things that you have done did not sit right with you. In fact, sometimes nightmares and hallucinations haunt you. However, you were more afraid to die than whatever else hardship you had to experience to survive.

So you do everything to survive. If this time it means sleeping in a scary forest with nothing but the clothes on your back and a measly dagger in your hand? Then that’s what you’ll do.

3 seconds

It has been 3 seconds since you woke up after sleeping in an unknown forest. You didn’t know if you were still in the same forest because your view was being blocked by a guy staring at you. It had been a while since you’d seen a fellow human, the last one you had to kill before they could kill you.

So you try to attack the unknown guy with your dagger. 

Before you can even blink, the dagger had flung out of your hands and a new person had come into view. This surprised you, last time you recalled people didn’t team up anymore. All of them afraid of being betrayed, of being killed. Sometimes the thought of being killed by another human sounds scarier than being eaten by a monster.

“What the hell, people still team up in this day and age? And what’s up with the redhead’s clothes… wait where the hell am I?”

Your voice was hoarse from not being used for a long time. However, you didn’t care as confusion piled like a Lego tower when you noticed more and more abnormalities. First were the clothes of the redhead man. It looks too luxurious, something that’s impossible to get in your ruined world. The next thing was the forest itself. At first glance, it looks similar to where you were last night. However you know better, the plants look different, and the noises of the monsters from a distance are also unfamiliar to you.

“Cale-nim, based on their clothes they seem to be like me and got transported here.”

The man named Cale examined you from head to toe. As he did you can feel the pressure at his gaze. He wasn’t looking down at you, but there was still this aura around him that made you feel as though you were looking at a ruler.

“That seems to be the case. Who are you and where did you come from? Earth 1? Earth 2?”

“Neither, I’m from a place called Earth Zero. A land forsaken by everyone.”

You still don’t know whether you can trust these people. Somewhere in your heart was fervently hoping this world to be different from the one you were in. The rational side of you reasoned that it’s unlikely.

“...That’s something I’ve never heard of before, and I do not wish to hear about it. I don’t have any interest in hearing your story let’s just go.”

That’s easy enough to do so you followed him. The three of you spent a few minutes walking and soon you reached an underground villa.

Lively. 

That was the only way you can describe this place. Many people were doing their own thing. Knights training, servants running around, there were even kittens pawing Cale’s legs as soon as you arrived. It had been too long since you’ve seen this many people together, and even longer since you’ve seen harmony in one place.

“Amazing isn’t it? I was also shocked when I saw people for the first time after spending a lot of time in the Forest of Darkness.”

“Forest of Darkness… so that’s what it’s called. You seem to have gotten things wrong though Choi Han-nim. I had just arrived in that forest when you guys first saw me. Also, I’m more surprised at the fact that you guys aren’t killing each other.”

2 days

It has now been 2 days since you started lodging at this villa. Everyone treated you nicely. Well, some were more wary than others but it’s nothing compared to your world. No one asked you questions and they respected the fact that you're guarded against other people.

That was why you have decided to finally share information with Cale. These past 2 days were the most peaceful days you have experienced in a very long time. You didn't have to struggle to get food and lodging, you didn't have to be as afraid that you'd be killed in your sleep. That's why you only deemed it right that you share your knowledge with your benefactor.

“Um Choi Han-nim, is it possible to talk to young master-nim? I have something to share with him.”

Choi Han was the only one you were kind of comfortable with as he helped you adjust to this new world and taught you the things you needed to know. Meanwhile, the sword master was happy because it looked like you were finally opening up. He too knows the struggle of being unable to trust people easily.

During lunchtime that day you were invited to eat a meal with Cale in his room. When you arrive he has a gaze that seems to tell you to say whatever you want and say it fast.

“Young master-nim”

“Just call me Cale. You’re from Earth, I’m sure you aren’t used to calling someone young master.”

“...then Cale-nim”

During the two days you were here, you have learned that Cale prefers things to get to the point. Luckily, you’re the same.

“I feel like I have to share this information with you. Do you know why my world was called Earth Zero? It was because that world is terrible. If higher entities are real, then I think it’s safe to say that we have been abandoned by them.”

Cale looks interested as you tell the story of your world. Not you, but just your world as that is more significant during these trying times.

“That world is like a world that was beta-tested on and then left to rot as the player had no interest in it anymore. It is a world where monsters are the new humans, and the humans have become the insects.

We aren’t like the other Earths who have found ways to live and thrive even with the monsters. The monsters back there were on a different scale, we couldn’t figure out how to defeat a single one of them. Even with extensive research, we have failed to do what the other world has done.”

You peek at Cale who seems a bit confused as to why you’re telling him all these things.

“Transmigrators are not a thing in my world, I don’t know how I got here. But me being able to go here probably means that those indestructible monsters in my world could too.”

“Explain. How are you so sure of this?”

“Back when people in my world still had some hope and humanity in them, we had a research company that tried to find out how to deal with those things. I was one of the head researchers there.”

Cale pushes his hair back out of stress and you ignore the gesture as you continue to explain.

“I didn’t find out anything that could take the monsters down. However, I found out about other worlds. The other Earths. With that, I found out about transmigrators.

And I have found out that our world is incapable of having those kinds of people.

The same way we don’t have ability users… The main reason why we couldn’t fight and is now facing extinction.”

As Cale seems stressed enough already, you ask through your eyes if he wants you to continue speaking. He responded by gulping the tea he was drinking before nodding his head.

“As head researcher my previous knowledge, as well as my honed instincts are telling me that there is a portal of some sort involved. I’ve been investigating the Forest of Darkness the past two days and found no trace whatsoever.”

“So you’re telling me there’s a big chance that those monsters might crossover here?”

“Yes sir. There’s also a chance that the portal was an ability of one of the monsters. The monsters in my world have abilities and are constantly evolving.”

At this point, both of you have lost your appetite to eat. The same thing could be said for the children who had been quietly listening from the start.

Soon lunch ended along with your conversation with Cale. The young master has promised to look into it. He even said he would help you get materials to conduct proper research.

However…

18 Days and 7 Hours

That’s what a small timer says back at Earth Zero. This timer, as small as a finger, was attached to the ground where you were sleeping just 3 days ago.

And just underneath…

Lays a ruin of what looks like a temple. Despite being a ruin it still gives off a holy vibe and is made of white marble. Then a little bit above it is a floating broken sphere that looks like an orb.

[weirdsht]

Lost - lotcf & reader

notes: hi ahahahaha I've been gone for what? 1 or 2 years? So many things happened lol. I'm gonna do my thesis next year, I think I'm about to become an orphan? My extended family is out to get my life, I think it's the same for my bio dad, overall life has been a rollercoaster. Like every time I try to get back to my hobbies something happens, but I won't let that stop me from fangirling lol

Anyways! that's not what y'all are here for, you're here for the fic!

tags: novel spoilers (late part of book 1), set in endable, transmigrator!reader, naru calls ws "eldest uncle" because that's what the wiki says (but i'm not sure because i forgot huhu), reader is a shrimp stuck between two whales

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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@eggb67 said: So imagine this, reader is from a complete waste land of a dimension and she crash lands into TOCF with no clue of where she is. She runs into WS and the first thing she does is attack him because he looks similar to the person who had been really close when it came to killing her.

The world you came from was one in chaos. Everyone has to fight to survive as if only barbarians lived there. It hadn’t always been like that. One thing leads to another; before you know it, the world is deserted, and only the strongest or the wittiest survive.

Survive, that was exactly what you were trying to do before you lost. Of course, the day you try to get food you encounter some bloodthirsty madman and die…

Well, at least you thought you did. 

You were sure the knife was going to stab your heart. To be honest, you accepted it, living in that world was tiring. You figured that since you have nothing left, no family, friends, or material things, then it should be fine if you disappear.

That’s why you were shocked when you opened your eyes and saw that you were in a different place. The place may be different but you can see the same madman that tried to kill you. 

And it would only be just to try and strike back right?

However, as you were about to swing your arms, that’s still injured, two men who look like knights blocked your movements. This made you fall over and sit on the ground.

“Explain yourself! Who are you and how did you appear here out of the blue?”

Now just what kind of roleplay is this? You were certain that you were in some dingy alley before. But now you look like you’re in a castle, or at least some luxurious lodging.

“Explain myself? I’m the most confused here. Who the hell are you people and where am I? Also, that bastard over there looks like the dude that killed me earlier.”

Now that you look at it properly the man that supposedly tried to kill you was the same but at the same time different. This man also had red hair and was wearing a white mask, but their clothes looked vastly different. Their aura was also different. This one feels more shrewd and has the vibe of a ruler.

Speaking of the mysterious man, he only looked at you as if he found a new toy to play with. That look only lasted for less than a second before it was replaced by a look of concern.

“There seems to be a misunderstanding, but first… Naru are you okay?”

Only then did you notice the white-haired kid near you. He looked shocked but seemed to be fine otherwise. Usually, you were soft when it came to kids.

But your instincts were telling you that this one isn’t a kid.

You have no way of proving it, but years- no decades of trying to survive in your forsaken world has honed your instincts. And your instincts were telling you three things:

The white-haired kid is not a kid

The redhaired man is dangerous

The kid is dangerous too but you’ll have a better chance of survival with him.

“Don’t worry Eldest Uncle no harm was done.”

“That’s good… Well usually we would send attackers like you to prison but as I said there seems to be a misunderstanding. You also don’t seem to be from here and look lost.”

Everyone around you started whispering about how merciful this White Star guy is. From the not-so-hush whispers, you gathered that these two are big shots in this place with the redhead being their ruler. 

That also confirms that you’re now in a world you have no idea of.

Your world doesn’t have a ruler. Well, it had one before but that was decades ago. The sight of people being orderly and following a single person seems so foreign to you now.

“Eldest Uncle if I may, can I take this person with me back home? I wish to treat their injuries and find out how they got here.”

It was only then you remembered that you were injured. Of course, all of them were from the madman from the other world. Just remembering about that encounter made you pissed. 

You kept your emotions in check and listened in on the conversation about you. They were acting as though you didn’t even exist, but it was fine. All you have to do right now is stay quiet and not offend anyone. You have to survive this room first then find out where the hell are you after.

“Are you sure Naru? They may be dangerous and bring you harm…”

“I will be fine uncle. I really want to treat them, seeing someone appear out of nowhere weak and battered reminded me of my own health. Thus why I wish to help them.”

The not-really-brat seemed to be a good actor.

You were far from weak. You may be injured, but not weak. If you want to you can still cause havoc in this place. That Naru guy seemed to know it too. His gaze only landed on you for a second but you can tell he has a good grasp of your strength.

That’s fine as it looks like he's trying to get you away from the more dangerous man so you played along.

As if touched by the kid’s words you tried to get up but only to fall back again. You added in some coughs for a good measure. 

Naru and White Star went back and forth a bit more with White Star saying he was worried and Naru adamantly proclaiming they just wanted to help a weak person like him. Luckily in the end White Star resigned and allowed Naru to do whatever he wanted on the condition that if you did anything rash Naru was to tell him immediately.

Soon enough you were being escorted out of the hall you were in to go to Naru’s residence with the help of some servants. The whole time you could feel White Star’s gaze on you and it felt just like how a mad scientist would look at their new test subject victim.

Let’s just hope you don’t have to meet him anytime soon.

[weirdsht]

Eruhaben: Cale let me see what you have..

Cale: A mana bomb

Alberu: Cale no-

[weirdsht]

Another day, another lotcf novel rant

by clicking 'read more' you will be subjected to, not only, novel spoilers but also a long and messy rant about lotcf novel so please be warned and don't blame me hehe

Maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe I’m not but just listen to me okay. Just listen

I think it’s so genius that Yoo Ryeo Han chose to tell the story in a third person point of view but still having it on Cale’s pov (mostly)

Like its 3rd person’s pov that still has the mc as it’s narrator

Its fcking brilliant

Because there are some subtle things that you will feel but won’t really notice.

For example; Cale being part of the unreliable narrator squad

Yes we know that he is one. But you won’t really notice it much. Especially compared to Dokja because ORV is in first person.

AND THE SUBTLE EMOTIONS 

We like to clown on Cale. It’s a running joke that the whole fandom is a sadist for his blood. Now, while that is true, I think it also stems from how the narration is portrayed in the novel. 

Now this might just be me but the emotions are so watered-down. Not in a bad way, don’t get me wrong, but more like in a it’s-on-purpose way. 

Sure I’ll read the “you were supposed to die that day” scene and cry for a week and still continue to cry at the mere thought of it.

But even though I’m crying there’s something deep in my heart and at the back of my brain that’s silently screaming there’s something missing. Something like “sure this is emotional, but it’s missing something and I don’t know what it is”. Then I just ignore it because it’s just something I thought of at the very back.

Then it clicks 

It’s missing emotions

THE EMOTIONS ARE KIND OF FCKING WATERED DOWN

BECAUSE CALE HENITUSE IS THE KIND OF MOTHER FCKER THAT LIKES TO DISRREGARD HIS EMOTIONS. He likes watering it down so he can focus on ‘more important things’

And like it’s hard to notice that it’s like that because it’s not on first point of view, it’s on third but still Cale focused

Anyways what I’m trying to say is Yoo Ryeo Han I love you and your sexy brain so much. I can’t do this topic justice because I’m the worst ranter out there. My emotions and excitement just gets the better of me ssdjhfgskjdgdfh

[weirdsht]

Uphold - LotCF & Regressor! Reader

a/n: idk what came over me but when i got my senses back a whole day has passed and I've written 12 pages

Warnings: might be ooc, male reader, use of prince for reader (like how in some they call the duke's children prince/princess yeah like that), there's romantic feelings involved but it wasn't that touched upon, i might've messed up the timelines, novel spoilers (but i think they were quite vague), if you hate soft characters then reader is not for you, bit of angst, death, Alberu and Cale focused

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

If there's something missing in the warnings let me know so I can add it

Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333

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‘It hurts’

Red. All you can see was red.

Was it your blood? Was it someone else's? You have no idea.

Dying. You know you're dying.

This war has been going on for too long. Too many have been lost. Your family, friends, acquaintances. Almost all of them are gone.

Except for one

Cale Henituse

He's the only one left in your life, and you’re the only one left in his.

And now you’re dying. About to leave him.

‘Ah till the end I haven’t said my feelings’ 

Maybe it was for the best. You aren’t quite sure yourself. All your brain can register is the stinging pain in your chest along with the pounding that just keeps on getting worse.

Red. Everything was red. Still, you can make out the silver armor with a bit of red hair sticking out.

You try to weakly reach out your hand towards the blurry figure you know too well. Not sure whether you’re reaching the right place. In spite of that, you still reach out, hoping to at least feel his warmth for the last time.

“...I …I’m so rry”

Tears were probably flowing out from your eyes. You weren’t quite sure from all the blood on you but it felt like you were crying. 

‘I’m sorry for leaving you alone’

‘I’m sorry for not telling you my true feelings’

‘I’m sorry for even harboring this feelings’

’Just for everything, I’m sorry’ 

Sadly you don’t have the energy to even speak those words. 

Aside from that, you believe you have no other regrets. You tried your best with the war. Try your best to uphold your family name. Protect the country, the world. 

“Don’t, don’t talk. Save your energy help will come soon. Your crown prince hyung is on his way”

Were there tears flowing down from his face? You weren’t sure. At this point even your hearing was fuzzy. 

It was too late to be saved and both of you knew that.

“D on’t le ave, plea se. Just ..just stay w ith me till the en d”

“Okay okay, I’m here I won’t leave you. Your other hyung is nearby too, just hang on.”

Frail, bloody hands gripped strong, shaky ones. For the last moments of your life, you just want to be at peace and spend time with your childhood friends. Something you haven’t gotten the chance to do ever since the war started. You think the times you’ve seen your crown prince hyung’s face can be counted on one hand.

“I’m here, your other hyung is here. I’ve also called a healer.”

You didn’t manage to catch his next words clearly. But you can understand that it’s him apologizing that he can’t use the star of healing on you. You’re aware that it’s no one’s fault. He used the star of healing earlier and it wasn’t a waste so that’s good with you.

Black spots fill your sight and your hearing becomes more fuzzy. Your grip on Cale’s hands was getting weaker and weaker.

“Hyu ng …Alberu hyung. Ple ase ta ke care of the king dom.”

‘I’m sorry I can’t continue to take care of it with you.’

You know you’re time was almost up

You have a lot of regrets but you know it’s no use mulling over them now

But still. Before you pass, maybe you can say it softly. 

Before you rest eternally

Before you depart forever

“I ..I love you”

‘So much that leaving you hurts more than dying’

Not sure how you managed to say those three words coherently. You were glad to be able to convey your feelings at the last moment.

With that, the black spots have fully dominated your sight and the world seemed so quiet and peaceful.

‘I died…’

‘I’m sure I died’

Waking up with a slight jolt you see yourself inside your room. Specifically, you’re inside your room at the Henituse state.

“Is something the matter young master?”

Ron was standing by your bedside with a tray of tea and your favourite sweets. He looked like a concerned old man. But you know better after finding out his an assassin.

“... oh.. Um Ron, what’s the date?”

Confusion and dread filled your entire being. Sure you have a room at the Henituse territory as you seem to practically live there, but you haven’t been at this place since the war broke out. That and you were sure Ron left the Henituse family a few years ago.

“...The 29th day of the 3rd month in the 781st year of the felix calendar. Is there a problem, young master? You seem to be sweating.”

If it was Cale it could be passed as him being drunk. That wasn’t the case with you though. You were always the rational one between the two of you. The one reeling the problematic young master and preventing him from doing great damage. So of course, if you’re the one asking people are bound to be concerned.

“I.. I had a nightmare. Please get me something refreshing to drink. Ah, but leave the tea.”

Being the ever-attentive butler Ron is, he already has a towel ready and wipes the bullets of sweat that have gathered in your wake after getting your permission. He also already told someone to prepare your bath and get a drink from the kitchen.

You just let everything happen in a daze. You weren’t sure what happened or what was going on as the servants helped you bathe. But you were sure that time turned back.

It turned back a day before Cale met the soon-to-be renowned swordsman, Choi Han.

The ever-capable servant Ron observed as the other servants attended to you. It has been almost an hour since you woke up but you still seem to be out of it. He was sure that nothing happened yesterday as he personally watched his two puppy young masters.

For some reason though, two cute puppies are suddenly acting strange.

Well, it might really just be a nightmare but Ron was still suspicious. 

“Young master Cale will be dining with everyone for breakfast. Shall you do the same?”

“Huh? Oh? Cale at the breakfast table? Sure I’ll go too”

“I shall make preparations then.”

The old man was still concerned yet he still followed orders and started preparing so the duke’s son could join breakfast.

‘Something’s weird’

‘That’s not Cale’

Yes, it’s Cale but at the same time, it’s not. As if someone took over his body. No one else seemed to notice it so you kept quiet.

As you ponder on how that could be possible you remembered something.

“Young master, I don’t have much left in this world so I have to tell you something.”

“Auntie Jour please don’t say that. Cale will be sad.”

“I know, that’s why I need you to take care of him when I’m gone. Both of your souls are special, that’s why you have to remember that even if one day you wake up and Cale doesn’t seem to be our Cale you still should take care of that Cale.”

“But if it’s not our Cale then why should I help him?”

“Because it’s probably our Cale’s plan. I know I may sound odd to you right now, but I believe that you’re a bright child. Everything will make sense in due time.”

Not long after that, the news of Jour’s death reached your ears. It was also the start of your best friend acting like trash after the count brought home a new family. 

You know that every action Cale takes has a meaning behind it. Years of knowing each other and having each other’s back solidified the trust the two of you have.

And that trust is exactly what you’ll believe in. Trust and the late Countess Jour’s words.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice a forehead coming in contact with yours.

“You seem to be sick, you should’ve stayed in bed.”

“I didn’t know.. I’ll do better next time”

Excusing yourself from the dining room, you tried to make your exit and go back to your room. Your legs seem to have other plans as not even 5 steps in it gave up on you. 

Thankfully, Cale has quick reflexes and managed to catch you in time.

‘Stupid weak body, stupid regressing thingy’

Embarrassed, you wanted for the ground to swallow you whole. You didn’t even know this guy and you already showed your stupid side within the first hour of meeting him!

“You know your body was weak, why did you even bother?”

“Ehehe I’m sorry hyung.”

“Haizz, just make sure to rest. We’ll inform the duchy about your condition.”

Giving him a toothy grin, you got out of his embrace as a maid came to help you go back to your room. No matter how shameful that incident is on your end, you got to know that the new Cale seems to know quite a bit about this world. But it’s not enough as his etiquette is lacking. You would probably need to help him with that.

Your Cale might be trash but you know he still has class.

Unfortunately, your plans were put off as you were in and out of consciousness. Regressing seems to take a lot of toll on your already weak body. Well, for you this is better than war.

Even though you were mostly in charge of tactics, there were still times you had to go out to the battlefield yourself as your forces were too little compared to the White Star’s forces.

‘-10/10 wouldn’t recommend it. I especially hated how I always get a fever after a month of fighting.’

You get chills just by thinking about it. Ron, the one Cale assigned to take care of sick you, seems to have misunderstood and thought that your cold is getting worse. 

“Oh no, the young master seems to be shivering. Get a new blanket while I change the basin water. Also, ask Beacrox to prepare soup for him to eat.”

Contrarily, you actually felt hot. Not that you’re in any condition to talk so you just let them do your thing as you lost your consciousness for the nth time.

Thus you spent a few days like that. By the time you got better to the point where you can play again, Cale seemed to have a new companion.

“...This poor dongsaeng got sick for a few days and you already found someone to replace him huh?”

Surprisingly there wasn’t a scar on your friend's ‘beloved face’ as he calls it, even after meeting Choi Han. Instead, the man you know as the youngest swordmaster seems to be following Cale like a stray kitten waiting to be adopted. 

Meanwhile, Cale Henituse didn’t even hide his I'm-done-with-everything expression as you circled Choi Han. The count’s eldest son just sighed at the two of you, not even giving you a proper response as he opted to drink tea instead.

“Hey, you! Why are you slouching huh? Sit up straight and hold your cup properly! Wipe that stain on the corner of your lip too. I know you can feel it. Aish this hyung, how many times do I have to nag you about your manners! You didn’t even offer me tea like how a true gentleman is supposed to do! You may be trash but I won’t let you devolve into a full-on barbarian and forget your manners!”

Needless to say, the part that implies you always nag about these things are lie. Original Cale didn’t need to be reminded of any of these things as he was naturally refined. Not the same can be said about the man in front of you though so you can only make up the excuse of nagging to try and teach him.

Luckily, even though Cale showed you an annoyed expression he still did as you said. His willingness to absorb every word you say makes you think that this will be easy. Even though he was muttering about how your choice of words wasn’t formal in the slightest bit.

“NO I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE HUHU THIS ISN’T EASY AT ALL, TAKE ME BACK! I SAID TAKE ME BACK”

“Young master please don’t push yourself too much. Our young master Cale will worry if you get sick again.”

“No.. just give me a few more minutes to finalize this. Cale and the others are working with no rest. I have to do the same and catch up.”

Many things happened while you were with this new Cale. The past that you knew was completely rewritten by him and everything was going well thanks to that.

You also did your best to help subtly. He doesn’t know that you regressed nor does he know that you know he's a transmigrator so you can’t just present yourself and tell him you also know what happens in the future. Additionally, his knowledge about ancient powers and races seems to exceed your own.

Still, that didn’t stop you from giving him hints about things he didn’t seem to know and guiding him. Especially when it comes to formality and people that your Cale knew personally. 

Fortunately, those formalities aren’t needed that much any more since you’re currently in the middle of war and not only did the Henituse household become a duchy. Their eldest son, Cale Henituse, also formally became the crown prince’s sworn brother.

Throughout all this, you have been balancing your responsibilities as the youngest son of your duchy and helping Cale and his group out. Sure it was taxing and no one, not even yourself, knew how you managed to do all that work but it was very rewarding. As time passes you slowly understand why the original Cale left this world in this new Cale’s hands. 

‘Thankfully I didn't develop feelings for him. Once was enough. Two times is cringe'

One of your worries when you first regressed was the fact that you might develop feelings for Cale since he and your Cale act so much alike. As time passes though, you only seem to see him as a dependable but always annoyed older brother figure. Sure you miss the Cale that you know and you know to yourself that you still love him.

But it’s because of that love that you respect and understand his decision. It’s because of that love that you willingly helped this new person Cale left without hesitation and with no expectations of payment except for the betterment of the world.

Additionally, the people Cale gathered are good too. Everyone’s friendly and is willing to help you to the best of their abilities. So all is well and good.

“Ron told me you wouldn’t budge so I came to get you myself.”

Sharp, reddish-brown eyes came into view as his hands took away the document containing your messy writing. His tone was nonchalant as usual but concern within those irises can be seen clearly.

“I’m sorry hyung. I got carried away with making plans for the next attack. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

You cupped his face as if hoping your touch would make him forget just how you neglect yourself.

At first, Cale was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of skinship you have to offer. Sure he has read it on Birth of a Hero back at Earth but experiencing it was different. 

Cale Henituse’s closest friend who is 3 years younger than him and the same age as his brother, Bassen Henituse. The kid is always sticking close to him. No matter how dangerous the situation is or how busy the young man seems to be. But even if you’re younger than him, he didn’t feel like he was babysitting you at all.

‘Well, the book did say that the two of them stood on equal grounding despite him being younger and despite Cale being the son of a count and him being the son of a duke.’ 

That doesn’t mean that the prince didn’t act his age. Poor young master Cale is always the subject of the man’s pranks. He is also very touchy. Holding hands or simply grabbing the edge of his clothes when they go out. Clinging close to him at every formal gathering like balls and banquets. Whining and getting jealous whenever he sees Alberu pay more attention to Cale or Cale pays more attention to Alberu.

“I have no other friends aside from you two, and you guys didn’t even become friends for that long! I was friends with the two of you first so have to pay more attention to me and not leave me out!”

You would say whenever Alberu deliberately ignores you just to see your cute cheeks puff up in jealousy. Despite your pure and childish antics, there were times when Cale was amazed at your abilities. To the point of almost suspecting you.

Sure he has read about how smart and hands-on you are at everything. But that can’t explain the times that your deduction of the enemies' moves is as scarily accurate as it was on one. Also for someone who was raised with a diamond spoon, you seem to know a lot about wars, especially strategizing for one. As if you have experience in doing that sort of stuff.

“...Are you still angry? I said I was sorry. I’ll take care of myself better. Please don’t tattle on Alberu hyung.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about it but thanks for the idea. I have a meeting with him after dinner. I'm sure he’ll be happy to hear from you.”

“No! Hyung! I said I was sorry, please! He’ll make me stay with aunt Tasha again, hyuk!”

Desperately grabbing at the redhead eating steak, you tried your best to beg him to change his mind. Regardless of the big possibility of getting scolded by Alberu, and most likely your family as he will for sure tell them, you still can’t help but laugh. During your first life when the war broke out there were little to no mundane moments like this as everyone was always on edge.

‘It’ll be nice if things stay like this forever’ 

Perhaps you jinxed yourself when you softly spoke to yourself about your hopes and dreams of maintaining the relationship you currently have with your hyungs and Choi Han. Because it seems as if that won’t be possible since the universe was never on your side.

Clammy hands fidgeted and tried to find a pen and paper it could scribble on. The three men and the one baby dragon in the room know that that’s your nervous reaction. Even if it wasn't, anxiety was audibly written on your face.

“Don’t be nervous, we just want to clear some things up with you.”

Hands scribbling on the pen and paper Choi Han gave you with all of your attention focused on them. You wanted to retaliate that opening the conversation by mentioning the original Cale didn’t help with your uneasiness. But you didn’t think you were in the position to talk so you settled on scribbling more, unintentionally letting some of your inner thoughts out on the poor paper.

“Instructor is right, we aren’t angry, okay? It’s just that Cale said that the God of Death told him something that we need to confirm with you.”

Alberu tried to speak as softly as he could. He knew that you weren’t great with confrontation since the two of you were kids. You always tried to have someone who can speak up for you in case you have the tendency to clam up when questioned. But that isn’t possible right now. You’re the only one who can confirm the god’s words and answer their questions.

“That imbecile god told me and I quote 

[If you have more questions about White Star and his forces it’ll be best to ask that young duke kid with you. Oh and take care of him or else the Kim Rok Soo now will have both of our heads]

That heavily implies multiple things. I’m sure I don’t need to explain each one to you, you’re a smart kid.”

It felt as though you’ve been caught red-handed. Cale was right he didn’t need to explain further for you already know what the god was talking about. 

Scared as you were, that didn’t stop you from explaining your situation to them. From Cale’s mother’s words to you regressing and confirming that Cale isn’t Cale through the few and rare books about regressors and transmigrators.

Furthermore for the first time since time was turned back, you finally confined just how hard your first life was. How hard it was to experience dying. The pain in your abdomen that you swear you can still feel sometimes. How you still caress the spot where you were brutally stabbed by Sayeru, the bear tribe king. For the first time in a long while you were completely vulnerable. All the tears and pain that have been holding themselves back finally let themselves out as you hug Raon as if he were a stuffed toy.

“Human, the little prince fell asleep.”

Red, swollen eyes with cheeks marred with dried tears, your sleeping face resembles a poor child. Despite your arms being loose now, the black dragon didn’t make a move to get out of your hold. On the contrary, he tightens his hug as an offering to comfort you in your sleep.

“Dongsaeng, please continue taking care of him. We all know that he is a smart but fragile child. Even if he knows you aren’t the original Cale Henituse he definitely looked up to you like you're his older brother.”

“Haaa… Who do you think took care of that kid for the past two years since he got permission to tag along with me.”

Their conversation ended when Choi Han picked up the sleeping figure along with the dragon who refused to let go so he could place them in a proper bed. Before the three of them left to further talk about business Cale and Alberu didn’t forget to advise their people to not let the man work until further notice.

“So that’s what you look like? Is that how my hyung looks too? Wow hyung you’re quite the looker yourself!”

The people inside the cintamani, especially Kim Rok Soo, were speechless as you gushed about them upon seeing them the first time.

“Yes yes now shut up and focus on your work. If you don’t finish filling those documents on time the duke said he’ll personally come to take you home.”

“Rok Soo hyung, are you seeing how your other self treats me? His so mean”

“He sounds right though, you have to finish the work unless you want to suffer the consequences.”

“Rok Soo will be Rok Soo”

Pouting, you went over your desk with Raon to finish the work assigned to you. Your family has been lenient on you with the paperwork as of late. They know just how hard the work you're doing with the crown prince and the young commander’s group. But they didn’t want you to forget how to handle territory affairs so they still assign you a bit of paperwork here and there.

You know that they’re doing it out of concern for you. You even understand where they’re coming from. Still, that doesn’t stop you from whining and kicking whenever you see your personal assistant enter the room with paperwork from the duchy.

In no time paperwork was ceased, your aide who used to hold a pen went back to holding a sword.

“My prince, I’m a knight first and foremost, therefore your safety is my priority. Playing assistant was just like a part-time ”

Those were the words of comfort your kneeling knight told you while preparing for the Puzzle City war. 

The whole thing was like the roller coaster on earth Rok Soo told you about. One moment things were looking good for your group, then the next moment someone on your side will become heavily injured. You tried to go to the front lines too but your gravely injured commander, Cale who’s suffering from his plate being broken for the second time, stopped you. Even though he didn’t manage to get his intentions out, you fully understood his unspoken words.

Raon is most likely the one who’s going to take over his work. The dragon is capable, great and mighty as he calls himself, but he is also used to being on the front lines. That’s where you step in so that Raon can keep a clear head and keep the flow of communication smooth running. You have to be there as the second brain and back him up. 

Like that, your side held out while Cale was recovering.

Events that happen after seem like a fever dream to you. Your hyungs and just everyone in your group seemed to be more unhinged than usual. Well, they have been more unhinged since your Alberu hyung got his hands on a gun. 

But thanks to those unhinged plans and crazy actions, everyone got past the hurdles that came their way. No matter how hard the Sealed God and White Star’s forces tried, you always outsmart them.

“Don’t. Don’t speak... Just let me have this moment.”

You speak against the sturdy chest of your hyung who now goes by the name Kim Rok Soo. Partly it was because you were too embarrassed at the thought he’d bring up your confession. At the same time you really just want to have a few moments of silence and embrace the hyung you haven’t seen for so long.

“Yes yes I won’t speak”

“You’re still speakingggg”

His laugh vibrated in his chest making you, the one holding onto him, feel ticklish. He might look different, sound different but you know that he's still your best friend. Your first and last love in both lives.

No matter how annoyed you are with the God of Death and his shenanigans, you’re glad that he gave you this chance. The chance to see your best friend again, even if it was possibly for the last time.

Silently, you listened as the two men spoke to each other. As you listened you were also enlightened as to what happened. How Cale and Rok Soo exchanged positions. The deal made with God of Death. Why Cale- you guess he goes by Rok Soo now, chose to go and live on earth.

“It’s time to go back.”

Hellos always ended with goodbyes, and this meeting was no different. You wished you could spend more time here. There are still a lot of things you want to say. Stories you want to share. But that’s selfish and you know it.

“Hopefully we can maybe meet in our next lives. Then perhaps we can straighten things out between us then.”

Rok Soo whispered softly as he kissed your forehead goodbye. Too stunned to speak, you could only hold your forehead while running back to Cale red-faced. 

“That explains why you were so willing to go with his plans even when he left without an explanation.”

“Shut up! Shut up! It’s not like that!”