#Lowkey ive been meaning to write part 2 for my post for such a long time but ive been procrastinating on it

[crescentfool]

hiii! tysm for leaving such sweet tags on part 2 the yukari/ryoji hcs list, i had so much fun reading through those :) im flattered you still remember part 1 considering it’s been six months & i had pt2 in my drafts for ages but i thought of you while writing it; it’s getting comments like yours that keeps me going <3 it took me a while to upload since ive wanted to add onto it—i can’t get enough of those two—but ig i can always do that in a part 3. or a fanfic…? point is, the popular girl dealing with her bestie’s weird-ass boyfriend driving her up a wall is always my jam, especially when she ends up lowkey being in on his BS with him (much to the shock of the whole school) while the MC’s like “maybe i liked you two better when you hated each other” loool

HII HII mimi thank you so much for stopping by to the ask box!!! it's always a lot of fun for me to leave tags when i come across posts that i enjoy- especially ones related to writing! hcs and aus are always such a joy for me to read, especially if it involves ryoji 😳

honestly, the yukari and ryoji friendship hcs have very much been living rent free in my mind since i saw that first post about them playing minecraft together! they'd float across my brain at least once or twice a month and i'd go "YEAHH THIS IS WHAT THEY DESERVE!"

so in that respect, im flattered to hear that you thought of me while writing the second part- and if you ever consider writing more for them (fic or hc list form, or any medium really, shitposts are also included in that LOL), im always down to see it! 👀

but YESS that friendship dynamic... literally chef's kiss tbh. i love unlikely combos of friends and i think yukari and ryoji represent that rather well! its nice thinking that over time, yukari can warm up to ryoji's silly antics (i am sure he has an infinite amount of them, lmao). plus, i feel that yukari can show ryoji a lot of cool things as well, whether if it's her perspective from being popular, or just some hobbies that she's into!

and i think it's especially funny that you added the MC to the mix too in that last remark... must be weird for minato or hamuko to observe yukari laughing with ryoji over something stupid rather than yukari being like >:c or something at him 😂 (i'm terrible at words help!). in any case i am sure that all three of them are getting along great!

ANYWAYS i uh. did not mean to take this long to respond to this ask nor did i mean to make it very long but i guess that's what happens when i want to express my gratitude back and acknowledge asks properly, haha. but seriously, thank you again mimi, not just for the inbox visit, but the hcs! it's always a pleasant surprise to see whatever people are up to in the p3 fandom and i appreciate the yukari and ryoji hcs very much~ (and have a very lovely day!!)

and for all you other people who are wondering, what the heck are these hcs you are talking about? here go read them here from mimi's blog: part i | part ii

[kachinnate]

,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at

under a readmore because ghhhhhhh

firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie. 

the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say. 

there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.

if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.

so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!

media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3 

anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao 

ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way

connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point 

jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about. 

alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on

scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........

there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????

concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!

i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick. 

SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down 

[clumsyclifford]

hi my love i’m hope not too late but i would like you to tell me about my loves jewish cake, anything you want to but specifically baker calum 🥰 thank you i love you

of course you aren’t too late!!! ESPECIALLY to talk about jewish cake oh my goodness meg i shall die for you i love you. alright let’s see what i can dig up

ha’ahava hazot shelanu + it’s so simple

a cut, per usual

so let’s start WITH:

ha’ahava hazot shelanu

jewish cake was a labor of love for myself. little known fact about me is that i am in fact jewish! :) and around christmas time i always get a little prickly about the surplus of christmas spirit and in this case the amount of fic for it. and i’d sort of had this hesitant idea to write a jewish fic in the back of my mind for a long time, but it felt like a really big divergence from the Cast of Characters that was for some reason a lot more dramatic than any other circumstances into which i could place them, so i’d basically been hesitating for several months. in november we had a brief conversation about it in the club which looked like this

but the idea still made me a little nervous and so i kind of talked myself out of writing it, as always. and THEN, middle of december, iba sent me this 1d fic out of nowhere with this accompanying message:

and i kinda lowkey almost cried!! it was such a jewish fic. i read the word kvetch and i almost lost it. the fic was just so unabashedly jewish. and i was like...well. that’s what ive been wanting to do. so now i have no reason not to do it.

in the ao3 notes i talked a little bit about my internal debate over How Jewish To Go with the fic because on the one hand i really do understand that it can feel alienating going into a fic with zero understanding of the culture but on the other hand since it was MY fic i wanted to make it jewish the way i’m jewish. which is like...............very. i don’t think i ended up striking a balance so much as just deciding to say fuck it and write it the way i would want to read it, but i definitely think that was the right decision for me.

there was actually one more motivator for writing this fic, especially the WAY i wrote it, in eight chapters, and that motivator was that i wanted to break 400k on ao3 before the year ended. i just wanted to have an even number and 400k was a good goal. which i did achieve thanks to jewish cake fic being the 13.6k beast that she is! so that was also part of it

NOW! as for the PROCESS. i created the doc on december 22 and i originally kind of thought it was a little bitchy to write a hanukkah fic after hanukkah had already ended but was reminded that most christmas fic is neither written nor posted on actual christmas which reassured me well enough. i had already had the idea to divide it into eight chapters for the eight nights of hanukkah and i thought that would be a nice way to showcase different aspects of the holiday (seeing family, playing dreidel, opening presents etc) and also in certain cases (like the third chapter where they do some baking) some days that weren’t necessarily hanukkah-driven but just a nice natural consequence of being on break for hanukkah. i wanted it to feel like hanukkah feels to me!! normally i don’t like people seeing the way my outlines look but this one i don’t mind sharing so here’s what i had at the top of the doc for reference while i was writing. not everything in that first list got included but most of it did !!! 

i’m not really sure how this fic ended up being cake. i never used to default to cake but for some reason as i was diving into this one it just felt right. that’s all i can say about that. meg you have genuinely shifted my approach to fic i DO default to cake sometimes now and that’s on YOU. 

the very first thing i ever wrote down for this fic was this part that ended up going in the summary:

“Happy Hanukkah,” Calum says, smiling at Luke as their fingers intertwine.

Luke murmurs, “Chag sameach, ahovi,” and Calum’s face is aglow in the candlelight.

that was The Moment for me. i didn’t even write the rest of that scene until later but i had those two lines written down straight out the gate and i knew they were gonna close out the first scene because it just Felt Right. and i was right! very cool and fun for me

now the nice convenient thing about having this fic separated into eight discrete scenes/nights/chapters was that i didn’t have to write it in order, and i didn’t. i DID write the first night/chapter first, but then over the course of maybe a week, i wrote (deep breath get ready): the first half of chapter 2 (hemmings family) > the beginning of chapter 5 (the dreidel game) > most of the scene in chapter 7 > the beginning of chapter 3 (where they bake) > finished writing chapters 2 & 3 > started chapter 4 and finished chapter 5 > finished chapter 4 and wrote the rest of chapter 7 > all of chapter 6 > all of chapter 8 aka the proposal. i deliberately saved the proposal for last because i don’t think i could have written it exactly right without knowing the events that came before it but everything else was all over the place as you can see. 

a problem i ran into a lot, and i talked to my sounding board and fellow jew sam about this among many other things, was that i had a lot of trouble characterizing very obviously Not Jewish people in a way that made them Very Jewish. not even like, Jewish But You Can Ignore It. i wanted them to be front-and-center jewish like i am and that was hard for me to navigate because obviously my speech patterns and vocabulary as an american jew are extremely different from 5sos’s as australian goyim (non-jews) like i do use hebrew words in my day-to-day communication all the time and i somehow had to keep their mannerisms but also insert mine BUT not insert so many of mine that the fic became incomprehensible and it was just. a Challenge. here’s some insight into THAT crisis

and then again writing the other characters in other chapters

i sent sam the doc when i was mostly done writing it, mainly just to be reminded that at least one person was going to appreciate this fic, which worked out nicely because she very very much did. genuinely i cannot stress enough how insecure i was to write and share this fic. like i’m gonna be really straight up with you meg, i think part of the reason i had calum and luke baking sufganiyot was because to me that felt like a sort of bribe? i basically wrote what felt to me like the least appealing fic ever and then my mission from there was to add stuff in that would convince people to give it a shot anyway. i was trying to make it worth everyone’s while. the baking was my trade-off, i was like “well yeah it’s a jewish fic but maybe she’ll be happy enough that it’s cake and they’re baking that she’ll forgive it for being a jewish fic” yes i realize how kind of hilariously tragic this sounds but !!! you never get jewish fics!!! and you especially don’t get them in fanfiction for obviously non-jewish bands!!! anyway. we’re not gonna get into this whole thing but like. even though objectively i knew that i had been told again and again people would appreciate the fic i still had doubts and knowing something and feeling secure in it are very different things.

also, i didn’t remember this, but apparently i had a lot of problems with writing the proposal! here’s a sneak peek into that mental breakdown

don’t actually think the fic specifies (making life easier for myself) but they have already had dinner in that scene. so now you know. 

i could choose to not get this elbows-deep in the details of Crises I Had While Writing This Fic but instead i am choosing to go all out. here’s another thing i had trouble with:

(i did end up using transliteration obviously but i DO think actual hebrew would have been a cool flex)

and as for the title, ha’ahava hazot shelanu is the name of an ivri lider song that i love, and it translates to “this love of ours” and i realize titling the fic in hebrew was a Choice but i did talk to sam about this as well and that went roughly like this

by the way here is the song, i absolutely love it and i cannot recommend it enough. also i’m not sure how glaringly obvious this is but the chapter titles on ao3 are just hebrew numbers. like the first chapter is echad which literally means one. and so on. are they the correct genders? i don’t know ! fuck gendered language.

one more thing and then ill move on but an unfortunate natural consequence of writing a hanukkah fic (at least the way i wrote this one) is that it necessitates presents. so i had to come up with presents for these dumb boys to give each other. and to be completely honest with you i don’t remember how i did!!! the ones calum got for luke were trickier because they were actual things. for some reason this luke was always a version of luke that just kinda like, wore makeup, so that was just a question of figuring out an eyeshadow palette that would be Nice but not obscenely schmancy (i did ask the club for help since i know nothing about makeup but as usual i ignored their replies). but that by itself didn’t feel like enough of a gift, and so i tried to think of something that would be more than just the gift of an object. like, something that would maybe enable luke to spend more time on something he loves. piano music made sense to me because it wasn’t just a thing by itself it was a thing that encouraged luke to play piano and even to improve at it and to learn songs that he could be excited about. so! that was that

the trip to israel gift was a little bit of a retcon situation i really liked the idea that luke had been planning to give that “gift” to calum for a hot sec that he’d have had it ready, but i’d already written the scene where he and mali talk about israel, so i went back to it and edited it a little to hint at the idea (luke plays it off very casually because he is a clever boy) but i thought there was something very romantic in the idea of the israel trip, of luke planning a future with calum and a trip to a place that means so much to him (to me yes maybe luke and i are the same blah blah) and getting to drag calum around to falafel places and teach him words in hebrew and it just seemed like the appropriate trip for these two cute jewish boys to plan so i rolled with it.

okay moving on slightly!! to baker calum <3 baker calum was more of a cameo in the hanukkah fic, in the chapter i wrote with you in mind, but i can talk about it’s so simple here as well because i fucking adore that fic.

it’s so simple

so the inspiration behind the fic came from the “kitchens are for lovers” rhetoric and the realization that that would be the perfect...sort of thesis to build on for a fic for you in specific, because you are, in my mind, a very kitchen-based person, given your baking habit. it actually just worked out pretty nicely for me honestly because i’ve been wanting to write a big Kitchen Romance type fic for a while and you just gave me the perfect opportunity. here’s what i had at the top of the doc for the fic for you

and then once i sort of landed on the idea for the fic, it just made a lot of sense to make it jewish cake because, well, im gonna be real w you, because i identify very strongly with jewish cake and the kitchen-romance aspect felt like a very bella thing in the same way that jewish cake felt like a bella thing. and so i wanted to be able to romanticize these kitchens to share the way that i, bella, feel about them, and that was easy to do when the characters were so similar to me. not to mention this cake already existed in my head as a very settled, domestic duo, and they had their own home and had already had a kitchen-romance scene in the hanukkah fic and the whole thing just fell together perfectly. i had this sentence in my head and it was: “Shabbat in Luke and Calum’s kitchen looks something like this.” the kind of thing you would read in a fic summary right? and especially having it take place on shabbat felt like an extra layer of domestic easy romance to me so that was kind of my guide

here was my "outline” for this:

Romance :)))

obviously calum was going to be the one doing most of the cooking/baking because he had been established as the Kitchen Boy between the two of them and maybe i realized in the course of writing it that while i was luke, you were very much calum. so the goal was then basically to romanticize (1) the kitchen and (2) luke as much as humanly possible for you (see: message sent to helen and ainslee)

unfortunately i was unable to do baker calum justice as much as i would have liked because i could not have him baking anything complex because i can’t bake anything complex and if i had tried to describe him baking something complex and then described it wrong i would have died of shame so that is why he is only baking brownies BUT they have chocolate chips which hopefully makes up for it. also i just stumbled across this which i think pretty well represents the crisis i had regarding baker calum

:)))

re: the soundtrack (so to speak), i wanted to include some songs that i associate with you meg but you see the situation is that some of those songs are 5sos/mali/atl songs and so i couldn’t include those, for obvious reasons, which did narrow down my choices somewhat. fortunately i think the mcfly worked pretty nicely i mean yeah it’s a little obvious that i was forcing mcfly into the story but they deserved to be there. i think i’ve mentioned this but i genuinely have a memory of listening to star girl on a loop in my kitchen at home and in my head the hood-hemmings kitchen looks like my kitchen because i have zero imagination so it felt to me like these songs just belonged in kitchens. and that they’d be inherently romantic. woah i think my brain is short-circuiting i’m not sure i’m making sense anymore. point being i hoped that you would appreciate it nonetheless.

a note about the short introduction, because it’s very unlike anything i’ve put in any other fic to my knowledge. i kind of wanted it to feel like the prologue to a fairytale, almost. i wanted it to feel like the beginning of a movie, when the camera is slowly, slowly zooming in from a Big Picture down to one house on one street and then through the window into the kitchen while the voiceover is very serenely describing the scene. i wanted it to feel like we were in the kitchen before even calum was and that we were standing against the fourth wall watching the fic unfold. and also, i wanted to make the fic romantic as fuck, from the get-go. there was to be no confusion: this fic was going to romanticize the living daylights out of the hood-hemmings kitchen.

(also you may have noticed that despite having “london” in the list of Meg Things at the top of the doc, the fic never actually specifies that they’re in london. that’s because this fic was really an exercise in “how much can i hint that they’re in london without outright saying it so i don’t establish a canon that i may later regret” which went as far as me asking helen what her kitchen floors and counters are made of. like. if you want it to be in london then hell yeah it’s in london but i didn’t wanna lock myself into that decision just in case so i never actually said it but i hope it kinda felt london-y anyway lmao)

so...............i THINK that’s all i have to say. “all” as if i havent just written an entire dissertation but at least it’s done now. i sure did say a lot! that was a lot!!! but also a very very fun and interesting dive into the ~process~ of writing these jewish cake fics. also, for what it’s worth, the way hanukkah fic was received basically calmed all my fears about writing jewish fic, which was a relief for me. so thank you for loving it, i don’t think you know how much that means to me!!!! i love YOU so very much

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

---

Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

---

I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

---

This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

---

I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

---

In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

[longinglook]

I’m going to be gone for most of the day so I thought that the best way to use up my last 10 minutes before leaving would be to write a multi paragraph post on what I think about Fighter’s behavior so here we go

(under a read more because this could get very very long)

so. fighter. our confused messy boy we are just starting to understand

i’ve read a lot of tweets/posts/comments of people that don’t understand his behavior or think that his storyline doesn’t make sense which has always left me a bit perplexed because to me everything he does seems justified and coherent to where his mind is at the moment so i’ll try to explain

but first, something about me kfmslkcls 

i identify as lesbian but i have struggled with compulsive heterosexuality all my life, i’ve spent years identifying as bi because the scary part for me was not admitting that i liked girls but admitting that i did not like boys past the occasional crushes on fictional boys and let me tell you: a lot of what fighter does/the way he thinks reminds me so much of how i was and here’s a list of things:

1) he seems a lot more at ease with same sex friends, the only times we see him with hwa you can tell that he’s forcing himself to act a certain way, he knows he’s supposed to do boyfriend things like taking her on dates and kissing but he is not comfortable with it, he tries and fails at it. of course part of the reason is because of his father but not only does he seem uniterested in her, there’s always a sense of uneasiness when he’s with her, like he’s scared of actually having to kiss her. he’s fine with the relationship as long as it’s just texting and hanging out (like a friendship would be) but he seems not to want it to become phisical. since he’s a very confused boy he’s probably blaming all of this on his father forcing him into the relationship, instead of knowing right away that he’s not interested in her

2) thinking whatever he has with tutor is just friendship and teasing: i feel like this is such a common experience for most lgbt+ folks, thinking you just have a deep friendship with someone of the same sex, only to later realize it was actually a crush and you had no idea. ex. liking the casual cuddling and touches and looking for more, paying close attention to all the displays of affection, wanting to always be close and being a little jealous of everyone else that they interact with. I feel like a lot of people go through this thinking it’s just a friendship, especially if it’s with someone of the same sex because they are not even considering the option of it being a crush. that’s why fighter keeps saying that they’re only friends and he’s behaving like a close friend would, he just doesn’t let himself consider the option because it would be way too scary and that leads us to point #3

3) being too scared to say what he wants: he does this A LOT. instead of asking for something, which would mean saying it out loud and admitting it, he just acts. words can be so scary (again making this about me, i have id’d as lesbian for over 2 years now and ive come out to a lot of friends but ive never said the word lesbian out loud because it’s just terrifying to me), and fighter seems to only use them after he has acted to justify whatever dumb shit he has done with an excuse. saying something like “i kissed you because i wanted to” would mean admitting he wants to kiss another man (meaning he’s not straight) and that man is fighter (meaning he has feelings for him). it’s much easier for him to go with the flow  and do first, explain later. and by explaining i mean lying, even to himself because deep down he knows, of couse he knows what’s going on but acknowledging it would have serious implications on his life.

also the way he reacts to tutor asking him if he likes boys is a big indicator of what's going on with him, it's his way of answering, not his way of avoiding the question. he can't say it out loud so he shows it but then he's scared of the consequences and no homos it. and the choice of replaying the question scene while they're making out shows us that fight is tormented by it, he's scared of other people asking him that as well, now that tutor has noticed it more people could as well and that's why he pulls away. 

4) on a similar note, teasing until tutor does something/not wanting to be the one to start it: this is pure fighter behavior, hoping tutor will be the one to start it so he doesn’t have to. i called this gay chicken last week, it’s fighter making everything into a challenge so he can blame it on tutor and say that he was just reacting. we can see how desperate he is for tutor’s attention, how happy he is when he has it and how frustrated he is when he doesn’t. he’s like a child who wants people to pay attention to him but doesn’t know how to ask for it, so they start annoying people. fight knows very well that he could just say hey tutor i’m here, please talk to me but how could he give a realistic reason for it other than because i have a massive crush on you meaning i’m not straight. he knows tutor doesn’t back down from a challenge and he riles him up because he has learned what that will lead them to. it’s like he knows there’s an easier way to get to that, but it’s scary so he just keeps going with his soundproof tesing tacting which so far has worked every time. also in general reacting is a lot easier than acting, again a personal example: if someone asks me if i like girls I’ll say yes right away, but if i have to start the conversation i won’t. (one thing i do a lot is to be like “hey i have something to tell you about myself but you have to guess it”)

5) backtracking/giving mixed signals: again he’s terrified, he knows what he wants but he knows what /wanting it/ implies. sometimes he follows his heart, but then his brain comes back to tell him that, hey, you’re kissing another dude and you’re enjoying it and of course he freaks out and leaves. i would be way more annoyed with him if the show had been portraying tutor as pining and in love, meaning that fighter has been giving him false-ish hopes, but after ep.6 we see that tutor himself still hasn’t admitted to himself that he likes fighter (in bold because i feel like this part is very important and often overlooked) so they are both confused about their feelings. 

i don’t think they are actually confused, they know but they are scared which in my opinion is very realistic of how someone behaves when they thought they were straight and they are not. It’s not about being dumb or being slow, it’s about realizing that once you take that step and acknowledge you’re not straight your life changes. idk how many of you are actually not straight (i assume most just because tumblr) but like…… coming out is so stressful being straight is just so much easier you dont have to do shit i wish that were me

6) his father: i feel like we only grazed the surface of fighter’s daddy issues, but he seems to be a very controlling and inflexible man, meaning that he probably wouldn’t be thrilled at the idea of his son dating another man. we don’t know about fight’s past, and maybe he has already had crushes on men and had to repress them. fighter seems to be used to a pretty luxurious lifestyle, he can’t just fuck off and go against his father because he would lose his support.

so it’s not just admitting things to himself, which can be insanely hard on its own especially if you were brought up in a traditional family, it’s also having to deal with the reactions from everyone around you

I KEEP THINKING ABOUT NEW THINGS TO ADD TO THIS POST SORRY anyway i think fighter has already shown multiple times that he does care for tor, it's just in a very shy and lowkey way because he's scared of giving himself away but he does indeed worry about tor (ex. he notices tor is stressed about his test, he tries to help outat his part time job). it also seems that in times of urgency he's more explicit about ex. offering to pay off his debt when tor was being threatened or saying he's his boyfriend when the gross cafe dude was hitting on him

also can we talk about how heartbreaking and soft fighter can be when he lets down his guard and shows his emotional side ex. telling tor nobody has ever taken care of him like that or the way he looks every time tutor pulls away first... this poor boy is touch starved and he craves affection but he can't ask for it yet. he's going to be a real gem once he can be honest with his feelings

for future episodes i think that tutor and fighter are well on their way to realizing their feelings for each other and there's going to be some development soon, but i dont expect fighter to come out to anyone else in the next few episodes because there's a lot of work to be done still. i just hope they dont pull the /i dont like boys i just like you/ trope because i WILL drop this show. so. fast. please don't ruin this character please let him accept his attraction to men fully

in conclusion. i dont blame fighter for anything he has done so far, he’s scared shitless but knows what’s going on, i trust he will soon be brave enough to start being honest with himself and with tutor

man this did NOT  take 10 minutes to write and i dont have time to proofread

[datleggy]

I’m autistic and one of the things I have trouble with is change. I’ve watched 911 since the third episode and now they have a second one? Idk. I’ve been seeing a lot of good things about it but I’m not sure if I want to watch it. Basically what I want to know is if it’s worth watching. Is it good? Are there any parallels between the new one and the Buck one? Who are the characters and what are they like? Will you start writing for this series instead of the other one? %

so, this got WAY longer than i thought it would, sorry!!! TL;DR is at the very very end!

tbh i didn’t wanna really give 911 lonestar a chance originally, i was lowkey annoyed bc it felt like they were like “oh u guys want buck and eddie, who are CLEARLY meant to be and have all this canon chemistry and relationship development to eventually get together??? lol NOPE but here’s a spinoff where u get ur white/latino gay ship :D”

which i do genuinely hope to god isn’t the case, like, i really need OG 911 to be like PSYCH here u go, some DIAZ-BUCKLEY fam. as a treat.

i did end up watching it bc curiosity and too many awesome gifsets finally got to me lol

and im only a couple of episodes in (haven’t had a chance to watch the 3rd ep bc of work and other things D: ) and so far i gotta say, i like the OG 911 calls that they get sent to more than 911 lonestars calls but again, im only 2 ep in, maybe they get more “woah thats crazy/hilarious/hearbreaking!” as the show goes on.

i honestly don’t see too many parallels between Buck and TK—the only thing i noticed where they’re pretty similar is how much they both enjoy easy physical contact. buck is very touchy feely and comfortable about showing affection/feelings and i feel like TK is the same regarding physical contact (with his dad at least)? but that’s about it.

for what it’s worth i do think the show is pretty entertaining and worth a watch!

my main reason for watching past the first episode is my enjoyment of the characters. i just think they’re all neat.

this is from a post i made when i first watched the show lol:

captain strand: good dad to all of his children

tk: hot gay messy boi

grace ryder: a fave, no nonsense beauty, judds better half

judd ryder: tragic big boi

captain blake: chaotic good w baby voice

marjan: wild feral messy gurl

mateo: if anybody’s mean to my SON im throwin hands bih

paul: again, if anybody’s mean to my SON im THROWIN hands

officer reyes: ready to dick tk down

here’s a more descriptive/longer summary of the characters if u wanna know more, if not skip down to the bolded sentence below lol:

owen strand is the captain (played by rob lowe) and to me he gives off chris traeger vibes (from parks and rec if u watched?) but with more depth. i like his character a lot, he’s a caring dad, seems like he knows what he’s doing, and like, c’mon, it’s rob lowe (i fell in love with him a million years ago when he played soda pop in the outsiders nipr;guebwuogrnofw)

tk is his son and a hot gay mess w some substance abuse issues (tho a lot has happened to him in only 2 ep i really don’t know how to feel about him entirely, bc besides stuff happening TO him, i don’t feel like he’s reacted in a way that shows much of his character?) idk maybe it’s just me. but he is a certified cutie so. lol

grace ryder, she’s smart (one of the only characters with more than ONE brain cell lmao) and gorgeous and an emergency 911 operator. she’s very supportive of her husband and what he’s going thru (which is A LOT), she herself has been thru a lot bc of the big incident at the beginning of the series and is still somehow held strong in spite of it all, she’s a personal fave of mine.

judd ryder is kind of a dick at first but i think its very understandable given the hell he’s been thru, im actually surprised at the amount that i like him. he’s very raw and vulnerable but has this “don’t worry im fine, back up” attitude that i loooove. 

captain blake is the captain for EMTs, she’s got this soft teeny baby voice that contradicts so hard with her give no fucks ima do what i need to to find my missing sister actions irwughqwgoriegjf i like. she’s caring and does goes out of  her way for the little guy.

marjan has ZERO chill but in a good way, i can already absolutely see her getting into trouble by doing some crazy impulsive thing on a call in order to rescue someone—-TBH she actually reminds me a lot of Buck from OG 911 in that way. like yea she’s reckless and impulsive but u can tell its bc she CARES and this firefighting thing is what she’s meant to do. i really like her.

mateo—-OH MAN. he’s 10000000% my favorite. it hurts me everytime he’s on screen, bc he’s such a sweet and HARD WORKING man and he deserves to be a firefighter and do what he wants/has been waiting for for so long, im so HAPPY captain strand gives him a chance. i think he might have some learning disability or maybe he grew up in a household where maybe his family was too busy or didn’t care to check up on how he was doing in school and they neglected to see how much he was struggling—this is all just pure speculation from the fact that on the show he tells captain strand during the interview that he’s always passed the physical exam to be a firefighter but keeps failing the written part :( i love my son.

paul is a trans firefighter who’s mainly known for his crazy good observational skills in the field—there’s an ep—ep 2?—that shows off his talent but like, i found it unintentional funny bc the way they did it was in a scene that honestly truly felt to me like a scene I MYSELF would write in a fanfiction if i wanted to show off a cool skill the character has but was also too lazy to make it look good???? lmaoooo im not trying to be mean but like, if u do watch it, its the 2nd ep i believe, the “office meeting” scene. other than that tho there’s only been a few scenes with paul in it (my personal fave being the skin care routine scene lol) but i look forward to more scenes of my son being a lil sherlock holmes :)

officer reyes is tk’s potential new mans. he seems like a good cop from what little ive seen of him doing police work. so, i saw a post someone made basically saying how ugly are the men in texas that officer reyes is out here thirsting over tk so HARD—and not to be rude, but he really is!!!! reyes is a goodlookin guy, so idk what’s up with that, maybe he likes messy bois? bc same.

p.s. im not sure how to feel about reyes and tk together yet bc it doesn’t really seem as if they have too much chemistry. hopefully that changes? i do kinda like that they haven’t started off their potential relationship on the best of foots, bc i love drama, an indisputable fact.

ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION!

OG 911 will always be my first love and i just don’t see this changing anytime soon. buddie will always be the #1 ship in my heart! and i have about a gazillion awesome prompts i need to work on so me switching over to 911 lonestar isn’t gonna happen. i love OG 911 way too much iuqhur4ogfoie3jwnwjinioj

tho i may occasionally—per the request of prompts i’ve gotten in the last week or so–take a couple of the characters from 911 lonestar and put them in a 911 fic as a crossover? we’ll see.

this ended up soooo long oruhibgruoeqwp i hope some of it helped tho?

tl;dt: 911 lonestar seems fun and the characters are interesting enough to keep me entertained so i say give it a chance  :)

[burnedbyshoto]

anon: The artist @franeridart answers all of their asks in one mass post with a read more link so maybe you could try that as well. That way you could answer everyones ask but not spam anyones dash with all of your replys

you genius anon, and you genius artist! I just feel like as of late I have been getting a lot more things in my askbox, and I dont want to overwhelm anyone with spam. so, I will be creating these! unless it’s for y’all thirsty hoes asking for extra parts or whatever from very recent posts, expect this to happen every so often! the rest will be below cut. also first time using photoshop? how’d I do yall??? and also like.... let me know if you like this idea??? if not i’ll just resort to spam :)

@your-parental-figure : IK BUT DETECTIVE GUY CONSIDERED BOTH TOKOYAMI AND KIRI TO BE ALL MIGJTS SUCCESSOR DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MENT??? THAT MOMENT WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN AND SOLVED WORLD HUNGER

oh season four episode one, you may have been a filler, but you made me so happy to watch. honestly ngl, I was pretty surprised when he said kiri, not because he has no potential, but because it seemed like the top 4 from the sports festival, bUT FUCK YEAH KIRI AND TOKOYAMI!!!!! IN A DIFFERENT WORLD IT COULDVE BEEN THEM!!!!!

anon: Makeup smut for villain Deku should be good. 100% tender, no chicken

honestly, my favorite thing at this point is seeing you all crumble in fear if i’ll even give you a happy ending, and tbh idk if it will be for villain!deku >:)

@ohmycolie: So it’s Saturday night and I’m just sitting at home 🤦🏼‍♀️ could you maybe do a scenario where Bakubaby and Kiri decide to bring Kami into their sexcapades and after their little adventure Kiri is like “can we keep him?” 🤤💕

hi bby, while I can imagine something of this sort I am only a “x reader” blog :( so while its good thirst, I won’t be writing anything about it, sorry :( ily tho!

@michealsheep: Honestly is shiggy ended me after an intense nut like that I’d just thank him

honestly, I want shiggy just to end me??? whatta way to go. death by fucking nut.

bigdickkiri: I don’t get ship wars. Why do people wanna be so mean? It’s so easy to not be a part of any a that.if everyone appropriately tagged their posts, blacklisted rags they don’t like and didn’t act bitchy then they wouldn’t be an issue. - bigdickkiri

neither do I honestly. they’re just people looking for drama at this point, and it’s like... come on... you’re 25... stop

bigdickkiri: What a fantastic evening to tell my favourite writers that I adore them and that they're amazing! Look after yourself and have a gorgeous day! ❤️💙❤️💙 - bigdickkiri

I’m literally the worst. but um, I adore you so much, and I think you’re amazing!!!!! its 2am rn, but I can’t sleep anyways

🍒💥anon: Girl, your blog is having a glo up!!! I love it!! So pretty 👌 How are you doing today? Are you taking care of yourself? *sending good vibes and virtual hugs your way* -🍒💥

teehee, thank you for noticing!!!!!! i’m not 100% happy with it rn, but I haven’t had the time to get it perfect!!! wait a few more weeks and when I have actual down time, im fixing it >:) also, I am doing well, a lot of caretaking today! I never take care of myseld! *accepts the good vibes and virtual hugs because I am touch starved*

anon: I'm part of the protect uraraka squad!!! ♡

me too boo! you wanna fight me on my mochi loving girl meet me on the corner of my fists and in your faCE!!!!! (is this considered cyberbullying?)

anon: WTF @ THAT ANGST I M SAD NOW

this was in regard to my fic “because of you” which I posted because I was in a crying mood. HAHAHAHAHA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD I WINNNNNNNN

@joyfullydawn: I just wanted to say you're heccin' amazing??? The fact you named that roommate one "And they were roommates" I just--yes. This is more than ok. This is excellent. Please keep being awesome aaaa

and they were roommates was the first series I had, and the thing I did in celebration for 100 followers.... jesus that feels so long ago and not in fact less than two months ago!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I should reblog my old works so you newer lovely followers can read them!!!!!

anon: would u ever do a part 2 to under the mistletoe with aizawa? its so sad and i just want them to be HAPPY

I am planning on doing it!!!!! it’s in my requests, so no worriesssss ;)

hermana anon: hermana that todo angst 🥺🥺you’re literally the best angst writer jdjdbd

okay but for real do I write actually good angst??? asking for a friend..... and HGAIGHJIAORGHUOG THAKN YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT!!!! PLEASE RECOMMEND ME ANGST FICS BECAUSE I LOVE CRYINGGGG

🍒✨ anon: this has literally nothing to do with anything that’s on your account right now but do you think that dabi sends shoto happy birthday messages? i like to think he does because even if he’s a villain, he still lowkey care about his siblings - 🍒✨

this was from a very long ass time ago, and im sorry I never responded to you sparkle cherry anon, but I definitely do believe that he sends birthday cards. with his baby bro’s increase in his fangirl club, he now is unafraid to send shouto a card. its always the only one that catches shouto’s attention when he goes through them because they’re weirdly personal. shouto, being a smart yet dense idiot, believes its someone in the class pranking him.

~ I won’t be posting these messages, but they were from awhile ago when I was hitting a rough patch with my insecurity as a writer and my ability to give my all to you. there are many of you, 19 messages in total, where you told me why you loved my writing. I never responded to them because they make me cry even now looking back at them. to each and every anon, I thank you for saying those kind words. to @saladsharkz, @thecryingsombra, @olivenight17, @shutupwylow, @expressyourstarstruckrebel, and @awkward-theaterkid thank you as well. there is another non anon, but they asked not to be revealed. thank you so sososo much.

~ I will not be posting these as well, because again, drama from awhile ago. but this was in regard to the anon who did not like the kinklist I had created for kinktober. while now I think I am doing a pretty damn good job, and no one has said otherwise, to the 2 anons, @connors-my-boy, and bigdickkiri, thank you for fighting an anon that was never your responsibility to take <3

@w0w-s0-3dgy: u make me uwu so much🥺❤️ I LOVE YOUR PAGE BABE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL!

BBY I LOVE YOU AND I AM DOING WELL NOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY PAGE LITERALLY WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?!?!??!!

anon: You followed me and idk if it was just to be nice or if you want to be friends or what hdhakanskenebdhsiq

im starting to follow back people that make me happy. it’s been awhile since ive been on a followspree, but I follow you back when i see kind messages from you, when I see that you’ve liked so many of my horrible posts, when you reblog my things with the most amazing tags. I follow you because I want to be your friend, you’re always welcomed to be my friend!!! hell you can literally be like “bitch listen to this” and never once having spoken to me I will respond with “give me the fucking chisme my queen”

anon: *gives u an encouraging and comforting yeehaw*

now.... now I can conquer the world, thank you

anon: Hi! I love the way you're writing things for kinktober, and I'd personally love if you could reblog what you're writing multiple times because I'm at uni most of the day so I miss out on a lot. Pd. I absolutely adore your writing! Please keep up ❤

I AM TRYING TO REBLOG MY STORIES NOW BUT OMGNGSOUHFIPA YOU LIKE HOW I WRITE?!?!?!??!?!?!

heathers anon: Its the anon who sent the Dabi heather au. I send it because i know your popular and a lot of popular blogs check your blogs. And I honestly struggle with other blogs because they ignored most of my asks.

teehee, I appreciate you thinking im a popular blog and that other popular blogs check mine, but thats not true!!! sorry for never responding back, but i’m sure they’re not meaning to ignore you on purpose. there’s just so much happening things get buried!

@sinnaminsvga : we're both alyssa so it's really interesting to see the nicknames u use bc i see you use lyssa and i got the nickname ari and i think that's pretty neat how we both have the same name but wildly different nicknames

it don’t matter, we be alyssa twinsies!!!!!!!!!!

anon: I was just going through your master list, cause I’m in a stunning mood and why not make a good mood better? and I saw bakugous “sickness and that word I can’t spell” got hella happy for a sec CAUSE YES THAT WAS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVED IT. Then I remembered the heart shattering angst that came with Todos side. So like. Ily but you a meanie.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WE LOVE SUFFERING!!!!!! I just... really have a thing for angst it seems... don’t tell my followers though, im in denial over it...

[cybercnu]

i only started taking mandarin recently and this person i follow posted some screencaps of what looks like a chinese variety show with chinese subtitles so i'm like "hey let's try to understand what this guy is saying! there's only like 4 (small) lines anyway so it should be quick" so i write down the characters on a paper, then use an online dictionary to find each character and its meaning and if there are words in there that are made of 2 characters, take notes, attempt translating, etc. 1/2

2/2 and i spent one whole hour working on this and in the end? if i didn't make any mistake in the translation (and if the part i left out bc i couldn't understand it wasn't that important) it was just the guy going "i'm definitely going to let you down on this, i don't even trust myself sometimes so don't trust me" and i spent one hour on this. i feel so tired. (i didnt know who to tell this so i picked you bc you said you know mandarin so i thought maybe you feel my pain or maybe you dont idk)

i 100% feel this when i translated this it took me forever even tho the vid was only like 4 mins long i wanted to kms lowkey dhajdaslda ive been back at uni for 2 days and only done 4 hours of mandarin but it honestly kills my brain yesterday all i had was mandarin but when i got home i was exhausted and i dont usually nap but i napped for 5 hours idk why its so draining...

what the dude said tho - mood

[anzwrites]

ive been tagged in so many tag games that i haven’t gotten around to doing them so i’m just gonna do them all in one post

5 Facts Tag Game

The aim of the game is simple; list at least 5 lesser known facts about your WIP and/or the OC of your choosing!

1. As of right now all of my wips are in the same universe. So there will probably be subtle nods to the bands of The Reckless in Chaos.

2. In the very first version of Chaos I decided to include a battle of the bands storyline for some reason?? but it’s been scraped since. 

3. Originally Chaos was going to be a long series but I shortened it to one book and now two (the second being more focused on Kelsey’s younger brother and his friend group.) The series was going to follow Ryker and Kelsey into adulthood while Ryker pursued a career as a cop.

4. I chose San Francisco as the setting because I’ve always wanted to go to San Francisco/move there. 

5. Chaos is basically a mix of all of my favorite parts of my favorite movies & tv shows. Examples are, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Skins, The Breakfast Club, etc.

WIP Questions Tag Game

1. Describe the plot in one sentence.

Shane writes letters to Kelsey to cope with the things he’s done.

2. Pick one sight, smell, sound, feel and taste to describe the aesthetic for your novel.

this was hard cause theres so many different aspects?? to this story

Sight - seeing people who were once your closest friends seemingly better off without you. 

Smell - cigarette smoke??

Sound - crackling fire

Feel - hugging someone you love after not seeing them for a long time

Taste - pizza

3. Which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

i have an entire playlist here but heres three of the songs from that playlist

popular - nada surf

reaper - have mercy

ghost - sky ferreira 

4. What’s the time period and location in which the novel takes place?

it takes place in san francisco, a fictional suburb called “ridgeview” and some of the surrounding area, in 2013 and up to september 2018

5. Are there any former titles you’ve considered but discarded?

originally it was titled “oh kelsey” but after major changes in the plot i realized the name didn’t fit the feel of the story anymore so i changed it 

6. What’s the first line of your novel?

im most likely going to change it later but for right now its, “In the mailbox there was a manila envelope with letters inside.”

7. What’s a line of dialogue you’re particularly proud of?

so far in this draft nothing super interesting has happened so i don’t have any lines in proud of yet 

8. Which line from the novel most represents it as a whole?

uhhh maybe, “...she had to know what became of the boy she cared for so deeply and how he became the monster who did such heinous things.“

9. Who are you character faceclaims?

for the main three

Kelsey York - Kaya Scodelario

Ryker Kennedy - Devon Bostick

Shane Blanchard - Ezra Miller

the rest are on the character page if you’re curious

10. Sort your characters into Hogwarts houses.

i know very little about harry potter but from what i know Ryker gives me hufflepuff vibes, Magnolia is probably a griffindor, Odessa would be a ravenclaw and Hunter, Meredith & Shane might be slytherin. im too lazy to try and think of anyone else’s.  

11. Which character’s name do you like the most?

Probably Magnolia

12. Describe each character’s daily outfit.

Kelsey: plain tee, cardigan, skinny jeans & converse.

Ryker: emo band tee, blue hoodie, skinny jeans, & red converse.

Shane: punk band tee, leather jacket, black ripped skinny jeans & boots.

13. Do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

During the novel Kelsey gets a scar on her cheek, Shane probably has various scars from abuse and fights, Felix’s nose is crooked from all the times he’s been punched in the face, Myranda has self harm scars, & Blair has cigarette burns.

14. Which character most fits a character trope?

I feel like Meredith fits the mean girl trope pretty well.

15. Which character is the best writer? Worst?

Josie is the best and Pierce is the worst.

16. Which character is the best liar? Worst?

Nigel is the best and Alan is the worst.

17. Which character swears the most? Least?

Felix swears the most and Josie swears the least.

18. Which character has the best handwriting? Worst?

Best is Melaina and worst is Jared. 

19. Which character is most like you? Least like you?

I think maybe Kelsey is the most like me?? i dunno, Least like me is probably Shane.

20. Which character would you most like to be?

Tiffany, objectively I think she suffers the least trauma. 

Oc Tag Game

i’ll do this one for shane

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? it was his style. i always knew he was gonna dress a bit edgy, when i first created him he was a little bit more emo though.

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? no, he was very different from the characters i created before.

3. How did you choose their name? at first his name was jason, i think? i honestly don’t know why i named him that??? eventually i changed to to shane because it felt more like him. there was a period in time when his name was seth but i changed it back.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? because the story is set in san francisco which is known for their large punk scene, i decided he was going to spend a lot of his time in that scene so i created “nigel’s tavern” and the staff of said club.  this really played a huge part in the rest of his development.

5.6.7) Is there any significance behind their hair colour/eye colour/height? not really. but originally he had red patches in his hair because edgy but i scrapped that.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? i don’t think there’s really anything about him that i can relate to,, that’s probably for the best

9. Are they based off of you, in some way? ^^

10. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? no,, and i still don’t think it do. all i can concretely say is he definitely likes girls and has probably kissed a few guys. so maybe he’s bicurious 

11. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? his aesthetic comes very easily to me so edits and drawing him are easy-ish (i haven’t drawn something in like 2 years tho) so i guess writing him

12. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? no

13. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

how easily he’s feelings toward Kelsey (or anyone really) can switch and 

14. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

how far he’ll go to subtly piss someone off

15. What is something about your OC that can make you cry?

literally everything tbh

16. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

not that i can think off

17. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

that he was raised catholic by his mother 

18. What is your favourite fact about your OC?

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

not really but i have the same middle name as my grandma

2. When was the last time you cried?

maybe a few days ago

3. Do you have/want kids?

no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeee boii

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

their hair

6. What’s your eye color?

hazel

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

happy ending!! i lowkey hate scary movies

8. Any special talents?

i literally don’t think i have any talents

9. Where were you born?

florida 

10. What are your hobbies?

i guess writing and making awful youtube videos

11. Do you have any pets?

yes! i have a dog named bella and she’s the love of my life

12. What sports do you/have you played?

im terrible at sports so none

13. How tall are you?

5′4 i think

14. Favorite subject in school?

umm none? lmao

15. Dream job?

i guess writer or youtuber cause im a basic bitchhh

[larksinging]

maria cd case packet: mix notes

MISSING LINK

notes about my song choices under the cut

first off: i like my mixes to have a sort of progression. often that’s a character arc progression, but in this mix i tried to move from most mainstream/relaxed to more dire and surreal sounding songs. a few more really experimental things could have helped this, but oh well

i. i love you - woodkid

“Whatever I feel for you / You only seem to care about you / Is there any chance you could see me too? / Cause I love you / Is there anything I could do / Just to get some attention from you?”

i picked this song as n expression of how desperate maria wants and needs james’ love and affection, and james’ overall lukewarm response to that. i can’t really say why i put this first, but i feel the melancholy desperation feel of the song sets a nice opening tone for the mix

ii. the wrong year - the decemberists

“Could be that he's into you / Could be that the obverse is true / And he wants you but you won't do / And it won't leave you alone [...]  The spirit's willin' / Flesh is getting bored / Speakers blaring out some long forgotten chord / Some misbegotten, long forgotten chord”

this one i picked because i feel it really hits the maria is inherently stuck in the wrong time and the wrong place, and how things were never really meant to work out for her and how frustrating that is. there’s more hints at the frustration of james’ lack of interest. also continuing the lovelorn sympathetic kind of song to establish in the beginning maria as a sympathetic, human character. 

also: i first considered “make you better” by the decemberists for its mood, but this had more fitting lyrics

iii. black sun - death cab for cutie

“There is an answer in a question/ And there is hope within despair / And there is beauty in a failure / And there are depths beyond compare [...] How could something so fair / Be so cruel” 

aaand here’s where i wanted to start throwing in the lowkey omnious mood of silent hill. after all, maria is technically designed as some sort of temptress (regardless of her own agency). anyway, here’s the “maria is pretty and all, but... what’s going on here” song. things are bad in the town of silent hill

iv. ampersand - amanda palmer

“Has any girl in history said / Sure, you seem so nice, let's get it on / Still, I always shock them when I answer / Hi, my name's Amanda [...]  But you've got the headstone all ready / All carved up and pretty / Your sick satisfaction / Those his and hers matching / The daisies all push up'n / Pairs to the horizons [...]  And I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an ampersand / And even if I went with you I'm not the girl you think I am [...]  I'm not the one that's crazy” 

okay there’s a lot going on here. first off, the sort of bizarre tone of things like the first set of lyrics above that i feel really show silent hill/born from a wish. the second section (daisies) is directed at james and his own issues and ideas which ultimately are projected onto and burden maria. so the last part is the pushback (”i’m not the girl you think i am” “i’m not the one who’s crazy”), and the anger at james for valuing maria only as far as she’s mary. anyway a disjointed chaotic song for a disjointed chaotic situation

i also considered “olly olly oxenfree” or even “trout heart replica” but the relationship troubles at the heart of this song won me over

v. atrophy - the antlers

“I’ve been repeating your speeches but the audience just doesn't follow / Because I'm leaving out words, punctuation and it sounds pretty hollow / I’ve been living in bed because now you tell me to sleep / In your dreams I'm a criminal, horrible, sleeping around / While you're awake, I'm impossible, constantly letting you down.”

how could i make a sh2 mix without including a song off of hospice? i mean REALLY. to be fair most of the songs are more of a james and mary vibe than maria, but i feel this can work. mary still lingers over it, but that kind of works for how mary lingers over maria. so that’s what this is - the shadow of mary over maria, and how james can never really be satisfied with her because of it

vi. bernadette (post romanian storm) - IAMX

“Winding down your emotions / Family and friends  / Becoming ghosts to dream of and pass on  / Time will erase every face every name / We are alone  /No-one to blame”

here’s where the mix starts to take a turn for the darker. i’d say this is maria as temptation, her existence as a means to try and guilt james. i felt it was important to include that because her existence as a temptress stereotype makes maria’s whole story all the much sadder. also, i chose this version because i felt the more subdued version made it feel more intimate and unsettling

vii. oleander - mother mother

“I make a mess and you'll be there to help me undress / I'll be unclean, I'll be obscene, you'll be the rest / And if you leave me, rest assured it would kill me”

i feel this is a bit of a retread of the theme brought up in “i love you”, but far more desperate and toxic. this helps continue the downward spiral of the mix overall. i think it also helps re-contextualize james and maria’s relationship as something deeply unhealthy, and maria’s desperate need for attention as destroying her. 

i also considered “love it dissipates” for this, but went with oleander for the toxic desperation it embodies. also, a poisonous flower seems appropriate. 

viii. closer - the tiny

“I met him when the sun was down / The bar was closed, we both have had no sleep / My face beneath the streetlamp, it reveals what it is / Lonely people seek / Closer, closer”

this one speaks more to the loneliness of silent hill, and the loneliness of maria’s existence. also the theme of “closer” - maria’s desperate need to be close to james.  this is also the first of the doppelganger songs. two songs i felt fit happened to have the same name, and i decided to use both because the whole thing about doubles and whatnot. 

ix. closer - paulina andreeva

“Let me feel no fear and anxiety / I’m not alone [...]  Even if you are my insanity / We’re not alone / We’re not alone / Closer /Closer / Closer / Closer to you”

okay. first off. do you know how hard it was to find a video of this? i didn’t want to use the video i found it off of but this video was literally the only other one of this edit of the song i could find. also i had to write these lyrics myself. fucking obscure russian songs

anyway. the second doppleganger song, and the continuation of the closer theme. this one the tone really speaks more than the lyrics. this captures not only the anxious dread of silent hill (”we’re not alone” could be seen as meaning the monsters), but also the way in which staying with james allows maria to not be alone. this is when the downward spiral kicks up a notch

x. reflektor - arcade fire

“Alone in the darkness / a darkness of white /  We fell in love / alone on a stage / in the reflective age [...]  We're so connected / but are we even friends? [...]  I thought I found a way to enter / it was just a reflector. (Just a reflector) / I thought I found the connector / it was just a reflector. (Just a reflector) [...]  Just a reflection of a reflection / of a reflection of a reflection of a reflection (ah!) / but I see you on the other side / We all got things to hide [...]  Thought you were praying to the resurrector / turns out it was just a reflector”

honestly, i could have quoted the whole song. i think if you had to pick one song to sum up all of sh2, it’s be this song. it captures the confusing, illusionary nature of silent hill, the mary/maria reflection, the feeling of lost love and false love, james’ desire to leave/find something/bring something back that is ultimately nothing but a reflection of himself. maria, after all, is just a reflctor.

xi. missing link - revoluation girl utena OST

“An unconnected me / Yet a connected power  / Oh illusions,  / Why am I  / Here right now? / I never wanted to be born / And yet I was  / My heart is just like / An object to be used /  To be born and die / To be born and vanish / To repeat this / How absurd! [...] Look, now the vanished me is living”

when the song the mix title is from is at the very bottom of one of my mixes, you know it’s a big deal. and it’s an RGU song. so [cracks knuckles] here we go. (i am using the translation from here. most other translations i’ve seen have been pretty similar, give or take a little.) the end of the downward spiral.

this song, i feel, is the ultimate expression of the despair of maria’s existence. to be born from a wish is a terrible fate. maria was only ever meant to be something to fulfill james’ wish and embody his guilt, and that’s what she’s stuck doing despite having her own existence and agency. a tragic fate. 

...but this song has a context, and that too works for maria. she is a bit of a rose bride figure, after all! she exists to embody the male gaze and is an idealized form of male sexual desires. her purpose is not her own, but tied to james. she is repeatedly brutalized for the sake of the male figure and exists only to bear his suffering and cause more. i’m not sure how much more rose bride-y you can get without getting impaled by a few hundred swords, but maria’s been imapled like 4 times so she’s getting there

xii. love psalm - silent hill 2 OST

[instrumental]

i wanted to end with something a little less, uh, existentially horrifying. it was only appropriate to use love psalm, which plays on the credits of born from a wish. more than anything, this is maria’s song, and it felt like ending it with someone that was uniquely hers would be nice. i consdered using the version of this from book of memories with lyrics, since some of them fit. check it: 

“To be forced to feel the hearts break / How much of this torture can I take? [...] If you could rewrite our life any way that you please / Would you tear out the pages of our memories? / Would you take back the pain and all the hurt we create? / Or could you be satisfied with the love that you've made with me?”

...but i felt the original instrumental version, the one actually from born from a wish, was more appropriate an ending. so there you go. 

extra: in addition to the substitutions from bands used i considered listed above, i also considered “careful you” by tv on the radio. i felt the sound of the song didn’t quite gel with the rest of the mix. 

[paradox-oflife]

MASSIVE q and a post pt 2 dont mind me

 part 2 of the q and a sessions I have to do for class. feel free to steal

1. What do you typically have for breakfast? Bread or cereal

2. Do you like scary movies? Only if I’m watching them with friends.

3. Whats your favourite Milkshake flavour? Vanilla/oreo or something like that. Actually, strawberry and mango is really good.

4. Have you ever been in a newspaper? My school was one time, but not me personally.

5. How long can you balance on one foot? Pretty long. I don’t know, but pretty long.

6. Have you ever fired a gun? No and I hope I don’t have to. 

7. Have you ever tried archery? Yeah. Much harder than it looks.

8. Whats your favourite condement? Ketchup. Mayo only for some sandwiches.

9. Whats your favourite clean word? Catharsis

10. Whats your favourite swear word? I used to swear a lot but I dropped the habit.  “Shit.” But I mainly say “Bugger” lol.

11. Whats your least favourite word? I am so sorry but I HATE it when people call their husbands “Hubby”. I just can’t I’m sorry.

12. What was the last film you saw? Gladiator (2000). Iconic.

13. What football team do you support? Um. Idk. 49ers? But of course, I live in the Bay Area so.

14. Whats the longest you've gone without sleep? 28 hours. At the 20 hour point I felt like I was in a weird fever dream.

15. Whats the tallest building you've ever been up? Taipei 101.

16. Do you have any scars? Yeah. Fell from my bike when I was like, eleven. I got a big scratch near my eye. Had to get stitches >:(. I also got scratched by a cat and it looks like a self harm scar. It’s not, I promise

17. Do you like marmite? EW EW EW NO

18. Did you ever win any sportsday events? Powderpuff if it counts!

19. What did you want to be when you grew up? I had to think about this recently. I always wanted to be a vet when i grew up. But it’s hella competitive. Also my colorblindness (blue-green) really screws things up sometimes. So I decided to abandon the dream and do Physical Therapy lol.

20. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? A lot of things actually. But maybe having ADHD? But I also really want to not be colorblind.

21. Whats the longest you've ever grown your hair? The longest was to lower half of my back.

22. Are you scared of flying? Airplanes - no. Skydiving - yes.

23. Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? I’m very average looking, which is subjective. But I think I’m okay. I’d want more intelligence.

24. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? Haha yeah in a summer camp for 3rd grade.

25. How often do you buy new clothes? Only if I have to, or I really want to. Like I mainly wear graphic T-shirts and I really want to get a Stardew Valley shirt.

26. Are you reliable? Depends on what. Reliable for secrets and stuff like that? Yeah, totally. Reliable in terms of work stuff. Mm debatable.

27. Are you proud of yourself? I can recognize good qualities about myself. I’ve been through a lot. I’m still doing alright! So Yeah, I get a gold star for being alive.

28. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes this is lowkey embarrassing but... in 10th grade, this girl came up to me and asked me out. And I’m straight. It was SO awkward I had to reject her AAAAH. I said something like, “Oh... haha... um. I’m flattered but I don’t... swing that way.” god im cringing.

29. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? Probably like. “Are you doing well” or “Are you happy”

30. Do you hold grudges? Nah. I probably am too chill with things sometimes.

31. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature what new animal would you create? A dog/bird hybrid. Best case scenario, I’ll get a dog with wings. Worst case I’ll get a duck with paws or something.

32. Do you decorate the outside of your house for christmas? Nope.

33. Can you solve sudoko puzzles? Yeah but it takes me SO LONG.

34. Have you ever played conkers? (Whoever wrote this template must be british) Nope.

35. Whats the most unusual conversation you've ever had? It digressed from politics to philosophy to weird things like are monkeys capable of thought. It was one of the best convos I ever had.

36. Are you much of a gambler? No I’m way too indecisive. So naturally I suck at Fire Emblem lol.

37. Are you much of a daredevil? Nah. I’m a coward.

38. Are you a good liar? Only for small stuff. I try not to lie.

39. Are you a good judge of character? Pretty decent.

40. Are you any good at charades? Yikes not really.

41. How long could you go without talking? One day. Two days at most.

42. What has been your worst haircut/style? My little kid bowlcut every asian gets when they’re a baby.

43. Can you iceskate? Yeah, but I haven’t done it in a long time.

44. Can you summersault? Yeah, it’s a bit scary ngl.

45. Whats your favourite joke? THERES TOO MANY DAMN IT.

46. Whats been your best present? A heartfelt card from my friend for my birthday. I’ll take that over anything.

47. Whats been your worst present? One Ferrero Rocher.

48. Have you ever sleepwalked? No.

49. Can you build a house of cards? Nope.

50. Whats your favourite TV advert? The Gorilla Glue advertisements are SO FUNNy

51. Can you play poker? Never tried before

52. If your parents hated your partner you currently loved would you ditch him or carry on with him despite the protests? I would probably carry on. Cause I mean, what can they really do?

53. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Nah. I am not photogenic lmao. 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? One time and it turned out horribly.

55. Whats your favourite pastel colour? I really like the blue one.

56. What traditionally adorns the top of your christmas tree? My family and I don’t celebrate Christmas.

57. What would be your dream sandwich? Turkey, lettuce, cheddar, butter, baguette bread. Lee’s Sandwich combo #1 is SUPER good.

58. Can you inpersonate anyone famous? Not well lol.

59. Can you do any accents other than your own? American southern, New Zealand, Australian, the Received pronunciation British. I can kind of do Scottish.

60. Do you have a strong local accent? I have this weird mix of the general American accent and New Zealand. By that I mean I sound pretty American until words like “seven, definitely, yeah, bro, pro”

61. Whats your favourite accent? For listening: Australian. To talk in, Scottish.

62. In Tic-Tac-Toe which do you normally pick? X

63. Do you prefer blue or black inked pens? I have a hard time distinguishing between the two.

64. What was the last thing you recorded off TV? I don’t actually record shows on TV. Never figured out how to.

65. What was the last thing you dressed up as for fancy dress? Church. Well, it’s not that fancy. My last actual fancy one was for a wedding.

66. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Green.

67. What do you like on your toast? Butter or jam.

68. Do you prefer liquid soap or bars of soap? Liquid. Easier to deal with.

69. How do you have your eggs? Sunny side up or scrambled. Or boiled/soft boiled.

70. Whats your favourite saying? I have a lot. I really like saying, “Pass the bread, here comes the bologna.”

71.Have you ever been in a tug of war? and did you win? Yup! I won. I fell so hard on my back but I won.

72. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? Nope.

73. What do you have on your fridge door? Some goofy magnets.

74. Do you love or hate myspace? I only used it once. And never again.

75. Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? My dad’s uncle who was visiting.

76. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? Nine years old.

77. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? No lmao I’ve actually never seen anyone do that in real life.

78. Whats your most expensive piece of clothing? Hoodie. Man, do they cost a lot sometimes.

79. Whats the last thing you took a picture of? A meme from reddit.

80. Whats the last thing you drew a picture of? A MF Doom mask

81. Have you ever bought anything from ebay? No.

82. Whats your favourite smell/scent? Bread baking in the oven.

83. Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum? No, never been successful.

84. What was your favourite birthday? My fourteenth birthday. Lots of things happened. Can’t begin to explain it.

85. Can you curl your tounge? Yeah

86. Is your bellybutton an innie or outie? Innie

87. What would be your dream car? I literally don’t care. Toyata, Honda. Whatever.

88. Are you left or right handed? Right handed, but I can kind of write in left hand.

89. What was the last book you read? Joy Luck Club

90. What was the last song you danced to? Uuuuh, more of a head bang but I was BOPPING to Jimi Hendrix.

91. Have you ever owned a yo-yo? Yeah and I broke it in five minutes.

92. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? No that looks so scary

93. Have you ever been on a space hopper? Had to search this up - Been on something similar.

94. Who was the last person to send you a text message? My brother

95. Have you ever accidentally injured anyone? Omg yeah it wasn’t serious but I felt so guilty. I did fencing a while ago and I lunged and stabbed the mate right in the balls.

96. Are you scared of spiders? Yes

97. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Ive done it with water and I felt like dying.

98. Have you ever been banned from a public place? Nah

99. How much spam email do you tend to get a week? Dunno, I send it to a separate email that I never check.

[nightandstarlight]

Guess who's not here to complain and be sad for a change lmao

Anyway in the past two days I've had so many moments in which I felt completely stupid basically like what people mean by the airheaded blonde stereotype and for some reason or another I find it beyond hilarious maybe bc most of those moments are related to everyday things and not anything too important academically speaking or maybe its bc im so tired Im past the point of caring about something like that or maybe bc I've been feeling good this week but I've been having these really like obvious or stupid realizations or laughing fits that 1 make me wonder if I'm being lowkey drugged bc I know i make no sense whatsoever but I doubt it and 2 make me miss the old days when I was in middle school and still was part of my og friend group before everything got weird and we drifted apart bc one of the girls in my group used to kinda make fun of me for having days like this when I would act dumb but not like on purpose or anything like I would say something as stupid as the things I've been thinking lately and that would make her lose her shit laughing and shed tell me I was making no sense and that I was dumb as hell for saying that and she'd tell our other friends too lmao and I'm lowkey sad that I don't have anyone in my life to do the same now??? But idk i feel like I shouldn't miss someone calling me dumb like writing about it is weird bc it was the making her laugh and knowing she didn't mean it in mean way because in general she respected me and my word a lot (I used to be the quiet kid who only speaks to say something really important except when I got like that with her) but idk i barely make on a good day and today I'm not the brightest so I'm just rambling and saying nothing

The only thing to take out from this post is that I've laughed at nothing today so much like I laughed so much and I've felt so good and calm in general that im scared about coming down from this feeling bc im okay with feeling meh for certain amount of time but every time ive felt this good for however long in the past year or so ive experienced that it gets like really bad after and it's not a good time until it gets to whatever again my dudes and I'm not looking forward to that

[nightshade002]

i dare u to do ALL the odd numbers

fuq u

bruh this took so long

1. When did you first start writing? And what was your very first piece?

bruh i think it was in like 7th or 8th grade. the first thing i started was a percy jackson fic before i knew what fic was but the first thing i posted was a legend of zelda thing

3. What was the last book you read?

The Rook by @skittidyne​ its like the only book ive finished in a few months

5. What inspired you to/ makes you want to write?

positive feedback and also the knowledge that like i can’t send my ideas into someone else’s brain to write for me

7. What’s the best thing about writing fanfiction?

starting something off sweet and fluffy and then the moment when shit goes downtm

9. If you were on a deserted island, what 3 things would you bring?

wifi, a computer, and electricity lmao maybe then i’d get actual writing done

11. Describe how your writings come to life. [The process of your writing]

screaming and hoping it looks right

13. Favorite Movie (s)?

all 6 fucking tinker bell movies

15. What is your favorite quote or dialogue from any of your stories?

Octopi were apparently much better conversationalists.

its not dialogue but whatever

17. If you could be one of the main leads of any of your works, who would you choose to be?

whoever i write in the one nightstand thing

or pirate captain witch oikawa

19. Do you play music when you write? Or do you prefer silence?

i hate silence with a burning passion

21. Do you have any future works written that you have yet to publish?

like three different things that are in the works

23. Do you have any other hobbies/talents? Please showcase them.

i have a talent for sleeping

25. If you could give a piece of advice for other aspiring writers, what would you say?

do not listen to sad music while writing. this is how my fingers slipped for 1230 words of angst

27. Who has been your favorite character to write?

tbh my oc kimura shiro bc hes sassy and takes no shit

29. Have you ever experienced a writer’s block? And if so, how did you get through it?

like once a week and usually it’s for a specific scene in a story so i just switch to a different fic bc i have like 7 wips

31. What do you think is your unique trademark as a writer?

idk?? i don’t think i really have one? but i have magic in like most of my works so i guess maybe that?

33. Have you ever written a character based on yourself?

ya definitely

35. What’s your favorite meme?

the romantic bro ones

37. Are you nervous whenever you release a story? If so, which was the most nerve-wrecking story to publish?

bruh i’m nervous whenever i do anything

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8130428 this one was probably the most nerve-wrecking bc it was part of a collection and had a deadline but i lowkey didn’t really like how it turned out

39. If you could go on a date with one of your biases, who would you go with and where would you go?

p sure this is a kpop thing and i don’t listen to kpop rip

41. How many stories do you already have planned for the future (if any)?

i think i’ve got 2 started and also the one night stand to start

43. Have you ever based a fic on a drama, movie, a book, or a song?

i mean i listen to music while i’m writing so that heavily influences the mood of the story but that’s it

45. Which character/s do you find easiest to write? Why?

the ones that relate closest to me bc like i don’t have to figure out a response for the situation bc i just know

47. What was the longest fanfic you’ve ever written (released or unreleased)?

the mermaid au (and ya i know like no one that follows me on this blog knows what it is but like i can’t call it the actual title because it will always be the mermaid au to me)

49. If you could live in any of your fics, which would it be and why?

bro. all of them. except magic mirror bc shittm happens and i don’t wanna deal with it. but probably the mermaid au bc mermaids

51. What are your favorite pictures of every member of your favorite group?

also p sure this is a kpop thing

53. Which character in one of your fics is closest to your ideal type?

all of them

55. Have you ever been published?

nah son

[briinleyisms]

LMAO HEY MTV IT’S MARCY WELCOME 2 MY CRIB

“LMAO” AKA “ ( x ) ( x ) ( x ) #squadgoals”

ok so lowkey have had this muse for like ten years (ive been rping since i was seven fucking beat me) but every rp i bring her 2??? drops after like??? five days likE LISTEN THAT IS NOT HOW U RUN A RP LISTEN!!! UP!!! PUT UR BACK INTO IT!!!

anyhoW ok unlike ivan since i was still figuring out his bg w rosie when i posted his ‘intro’ i actually got brinley figured out and there’s a long version and a short version. imma put the tl;dr up here ok bc the non-tl;dr is overwhelming. personality is like.... toTALLY POINTLESS WHO CARES ABT PERSONALITY but it’s at the bottom i guess :\

TL;DR:

ok basically she was born into a death cult in aliso viejo, california (tbh i just looked up rural places in ca and chose the most recently established one i could find lmao) called ‘the children of the revelation’ bc im extra. lots of fear-mongering revolving around the idea of The End of Days™. leader was a total prophet and totally abused his prophet power. planned out ritual for end of days was lowkey highkey terrifying (‘let’s go die in the river of miracles’!!!!!! [too extra help me]) and one of the ‘apostles’ was like ‘i quit’ and left iN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!!! and lowkey basically kidnapped a few ppl including BUT NOT LIMITED TO brinley and they wound up in hillsboro and ‘apostle luke’ eventually left and now she’s in the oikos house. fin.

also sik tattooz bro.

ACTUAL VERSION THAT IS LONG(ER):

TW: cult (ofc), death, violence

firST it’s of note that i considered being rly fucking extra by putting quotations around her name bc her birth name is genesis like the book of revelations which brings me 2

my Extra™ title for this cult: “The Children of the Revelation”

so it was like a commune located in some place in CA that’s apparently rural and has only recently been established called ‘aliso viejo’ and lmao watch one of yall live there

but yeAH OK commune not just a church like the church of scientology like full on “u chose this life time 2 prove ur dedication”

alright so just full disclosure that i really really want to get this right and i know no one who has ever been in a cult (let alone a death cult) and i myself have not (as is likely expected) so i have already done research but i plan on doing like 100x more since this is a really serious subject. serious to the point that i’m not even using text slang (although i will when i get on with the intro post i just gotta).

anyhoW w that info out of the way time 2 get 2 the actual like point of the cult

first of all her mom joined the cult before she was born (ofc) and she was the gift!!! between her mom and one of the leader’s ‘apostles’!!!

so!!! 

basically: “lmao ur not leviticus enough 4 us.” (probs their slogan)

ok but obviously that’s scratching the surface like the real fuckery lied w/in two thing:

literal death cult (will get to that)

also doomsday cult

which sometimes go hand-in-hand anyhow

ok so the doomsday thing is what was more prominent in her life since she was 16 when she #escaped and never rly disobeyed (so many things 2 get 2!!!)

the leader’s name was ezekiel (cheever this is actually salem circa 1690) and he perceived himself as a prophet and naturally.... had prophecies. one of the most prominent ones was that the rapture would occur at 11:59PM on December 24th, 2011 (take away four days and add a year and u got the end of the world according 2 misconceptions abt the mayan calendar!)

the idea was that if u obeyed what ezekiel told u 2 do (he believed he was the fourth reincarnation of christ) u would end up going 2 heaven on judgment day but if u disobeyed...... yikes.

it depended on the magnitude of the ‘crime’ but for the most part if u disobeyed more than two times u were killed. u were hung or drowned and u were made an example of.

if u disobeyed less than two times and ur ‘offense’ wasnt worthy of immediate death dw!!! u can scrape by w torture!!! and also be made an example of!!!

so basically u were at ezekiel’s beck and call. every little bit of labor he asked u 2 do was like.......... if u didnt do it yiKES!!! ofc children werent expected 2 perform any laborious tasks rather just 2 listen and take in everything ezekiel and his apostles told them.

his ‘apostles’ who (as u can infer) served as his right-hand men were the fathers 2 all the children who would be born inside the cult. they kept ppl in line. they taught the kids when ezekiel was busy. those sorta things u kno???

ok so imma skip over some of the details that are like.... worse??? like theyre all bad but like these are the things i j feel like shouldnt be brought up in an intro post but theyre in the hella long rough-draft bio here that i went ahead and put up for this purpose rly

SO THAT BEING SAID THIS WAS SORTA A WAY 2 SHOW THE SORTA ENVIRONMENT SHE WAS RAISED IN AND IT SOUNDS FUN AND I WOULD LOVE 2 BE A PART OF IT.

so ok imma try 2 make this next part go quicker

basically the ‘judgment day’ was closing in and ezekiel’s plans were rly like no thank u ( (TW: SUICIDE) ’hey guys! 2 make sure we get into heaven not only do u have 2 follow all of my commands since im jesus’s fourth reincarnation but we all also have 2 walk into a river with rocks in our pockets at the time the world is supposed 2 scorch with hell’s fire!’ (END TW) fun christmas activities for u and ur bae.

as it started closing in it was basically all ezekiel talked abt during his ‘sermons’ like wtf??? what a church service.

‘apostle luke’ (i hate myself) was like “ok..... ok the more u talk abt this the less believable it sounds..... like wtf jesus’s fourth reincarnation??? pics or it didnt happen.” and after some months he wound up concocting this plan 2 #escape bc honestly??? 

so he eventually eSCAPED in the deAD OF NIGHT and basically kidnapped ppl like ok sure luke

one of said ppl was brinley which i kno is unexpected. (honestly i think this is like??? maybe the third time i brought her up in all of these bullets??? honestly @me

“wAS NOT WILLING 2 GO!!! WAS NOT HAPPY 2 GO!!! WAS NOT READY 2 GO!!! NEEDS SOMEONE 2 FOLLOW!!! DOES NOT KNO WHAT 2 DO!!! DOES NOT APPRECIATE THIS!!! IS SHOOK!!!” - everyone luke fucking kidnapped then basically had 2 serve as a stand-in ezekiel for

they ended up in hillsboro after like 84 years and he was like “OK EVERYONE GETS NEW NAMES!!! :D” and tbh he probs just pulled out one of those baby books pointed 2 a random name and bam!!! that was their name

so even tho i’ve been calling her brinley this whole time just 2 make it??? not confusing??? genesis became brinley and she was no longer a book of revelations she is apparently a name that’s most prominent in utah

over time ppl pce’d out (not rly bc they wanted 2 but bc they needed 2 like u get what i mean.)

it ended up j being three ppl in their shitty apt!!! one luke one brinley and one kid who has a name but 1) i havent mentioned it yet and 2) i dont want 2 go look for it in the bio tbh

doomsday came and brinley was shook!!! rly rly shook!!! trying 2 find out what 2 do that would be similar enough 2 what thE CHILDREN of the corn would do!!! and luke was like ( x )

a lot more climatic than im acting like it was but this is so long i dont want 2 spend too much time on anything anymore but ok minor point is homemade inkin’ machine (legit mainly bc ryan ashley -dave navarro voice- [has/had] what it takes... to be ink master. -end voice-)

ok luke left eventually and idk so did the kid idk that’s in there and at first she was like “lmao idk what 2 do ig imma squat [man ivan and brinley #parallels] and keep doin what im doin” and she did and ok

aFTER ALL OF THIS OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WRITE she wound up w the oikos (bc honestly u can only squat for so long and who the fuck would be like “yes! i would like 2 be inked by a kid on the street who doesnt rly have anywhere 2 put anything! yes!” [i would be like that #exposed]) and is now somewhere where ppl dont think the world will end soon wtf

personality but who cares abt that:

WOW THAT WAS LONG

ok!!! so i never rly had a clear definition of her personality i just like... waited 2 see (BEFORE THE RP CLOSED FUCK THAT) but then i watched a long-ass chipotle commercial (theres this one part where a cow is basically abt 2 be slaughtered and idk it’s so sad it was rly playin up that pathos i wanted 2 cry) and i was suddenly like!!! a lightbulb!!! “aha!!! basically fiona apple’s cover of ‘pure imagination’”

SO 2 GET ON W THAT

it’s been five years since she escaped and started desocializing from that lyf she knew but like............ five years compared 2 sixteen i mean which one’s gonna weigh the other out tbh (i just typed ‘way’ i cannot believe myself pls send me back 2 first grade)

so ok literally LITERALLY it is this song like im tryna think of how 2 explain it???

like the lyrics of it are (u kno willy wonka) v bright (albeit a bit ??? during that spin part) but the bg in fiona apple’s cover is so??? dark??? and honestly fiona apple’s voice just makes everything seem darker (i love fiona apple shes such a queen)

so it’s a v contradicting song

and she has a v contradicting personality

like ok one big thing that fits this contradiction is she feels like she needs someone 2 follow??? since that’s how it’s been almost all of her life??? (come 2 think of it i wouldnt be surprised w my subconscious if that’s the reason she’s still in the oikos house [asides from jobless but]) but at the same time like??? she WANTS 2 be independent??? she WANTS 2 be able 2 build a life for herself and around herself and not someone else but??? it just doesnt work that way???

MORE CONTRADICTION!!! bc of that whole ‘death/doomsday cult’ thing she is a p paranoid person??? but??? at the same time??? c h i l l ??? i mean in any case shes always gonna be lowkey paranoid but she doesnt??? rly act that way most of the time??? this could also be filed under “very curious about the norms of this brand new society but also very wary and prefers 2 Not™”

MORE!!! lmao ok religion idek what 2 do here honestly it’s so fucked. she knoWS IT’S SO FUCKED IT’S SO FUCKKING FUCKED but 16/21 years like??? v hard 2 get over that??? buT IT’S SO FUCKED. like no hate no discriminate (speaking of no discriminate highkey bi i love wlw) but also “everyone is a sinner and so am i we are living in sin we are going 2 burn it is only a matter of time satan where u @???” so like??? scared and wary??? but also??? fucked.

A LOT OF FUCKING FUCKERY. 

A FIONA APPLE SONG.

THANK U AND GOODNIGHT

if u would like 2 plot pls do feel free 2 like this or hmu

and if u actually READ that all then holy shit ur a saint u would make it 2 heaven on rapture day