#Lullys rambles

[leggeteconme]

Random fun fact #2 (definitely making this a daily thing until I run out of fun facts, which is unlikely):

Okay not so much of a fun fact as a series of fun facts you might not have known about the absolute LEGEND who spun into being the impeccable French operatic style: the one and only Jean-Baptiste Lully.

Teasers because this is a long one:

• The man who invented French opera was not actually French.

• Lully did not die of gangrene. (Read what I have to say before you get all feisty.)

Without further ado, I present to you…

The Abbreviated Life and Times of Jean-Baptiste Lully:

1. The man who basically invented French opera was not French. He was Italian. Giovanni Battista Lulli. Moved to France as a teenager and eventually changed his name to fit in with the French court. If you know anything about opera you know that — especially in the Baroque Era when non-Italian countries were trying to create their own styles — the French HATED the Italian style and wanted something completely different: something stately and majestic and not all florid like what Peri and Monteverdi were writing. Makes it all the more ironic that the guy who manifested that style was in fact actually Italian.

2. Lully died neither from stabbing himself in the foot nor from gangrene. Let me explain: Ballet was INSANELY important to the French court at this time. Louis XIV was a celebrated dancer (the famous paintings of the French king showing off his legs by pulling his robe back and putting one glorious leg on full display? That’s our guy), and Lully actually met Louis while dancing in the court ballet. Louis was only 15 and had already been king for 10 years, so the actual running the kingdom bit was being done by one Cardinal Mazarin, his chief minister, but I’m getting off-track. Louis and Lully hit it off right away and quickly became besties. In 1661 Mazarin died and the now-23-year-old Louis took full control (I had to do math for this; you’re welcome). One of the first things he did was to appoint his ballet buddy to the position of Master of the King’s Music. Lully went nuts because he was a genius and also a control freak, and voila! French opera (keep in mind that the first opera was first performed in 1597, so the rapid evolution is pretty amazing). Ballet, of course, featured heavily in Lully’s operas, with long and frequent dance interludes that are extremely divisive among the classical music community (it’s either adore or despise. no in-between. I am of the former opinion). But whatever you think of them, they were there, and they were incredibly important and meaningful. So wtf does this have to do with Lully’s death?! you ask. Lully, as we all know, stabbed himself in the foot with his conducting staff (if you don’t know: pre-19th-century we didn’t use the little wands conductors wave around these days; a large staff, tapered at the end, would be beaten on the floor to keep time), and ironically enough this injury happened during a celebratory concert commemorating Louis XIV’s successful recovery from surgery. Anyway. Lully stabs himself in the toe, an abscess develops, and the wound turns gangrenous. So why did he die? Failures of contemporary medical care? No my dears. Lully’s life would have been saved with an amputation. Doctors tried to remove his foot to save his life, but Lully refused. Ballet was so important to the French court, to Lully himself, and to his friendship with the king that he chose to die a painful death over living a life where he could no longer dance. So while the gangrene went to his brain and he died, what killed the great Jean-Baptiste Lully was neither a careless accident nor the gangrene that followed: it was his refusal to stop dancing.

If you made it through all that, I love you <333

Anyway, this has been The Abbreviated Life and Times of Jean-Baptiste Lully. Absolute legend and one of my favorite historical figures. I hope you enjoyed my rambles, and have a lovely day <3

Take care angels <333

[tigreblvnc]

Hahaha! omg no I’m not hiding anything! I just don’t interact much with people or posts other than sometimes liking, so my blog is left empty:). I liked you and your writing, so I really had to comment and talk with you, you're very intriguing! :)

And I do in-fact write! Only for myself and family, I’m too shy to actually post. I mostly have just been doing poetry lately!

I’m glad we have the same thoughts about knowledge! I love pursing knowledge in almost everything I can, even if it’s just a little bit, I just want to be so knowledgeable that people immediately think of me whenever they have questions about anything! Like an encyclopedia! So far I’m succeeding :)

I didn’t know you knew classical pieces!! I love Swan lake by Tchaïkovski I also love his The nutcracker piece, another favourite of mine would probably be Dies Irae! Do you have any other classical piece that you like or even recommend? I’m trying to find more pieces to listen to! Ah! My apologies I rambled off again, I’m quite excited, I haven’t met/seen anyone with similar interests to me!

Intriguing, why?

I'd love to read you.

I took the time to gather some classical music that I really like. I have classified them in alphabetical order and starting with the name of the artist because they are often more telling than the title of the piece itself.

Classical music recommendations:

Bach Jean-Sébastien - Toccata and Fugue in D minor

Chopin Frédéric - Prelude op. 28 n24 in D minor ❤️

Chostakovitch Dmitri - Jazz Suite, Waltz No. 2 ❤️

Grieg Edvard - Peer Gynt Suite No.1 ❤️

Haendel Georg Friedrich - Sarabande

Kalinnikov Vassili - Symphony No 1.

Lully Jean-Baptiste - Marche pour la cérémonie des Turcs

Mussorgsky Modeste - Night on Bald Mountain

Offenbach Jacques - Can Can Music

Prokofiev Sergei - Peter and the Wolf

Rachmaninoff Sergueï - Piano Concerto #2 in C Minor, Op. 18 ❤️

Ravel Maurice - Ma mère l'Oye ❤️

Ravel Maurice - La Pavane pour une infante défunte

Rossini Gioachino - William Tell Overture: The Storm ❤️

Saint-Saëns Camille - Le Carnaval des animaux : Aquarium

Tchaikovsky Piotr Ilitch - Swan Lake ❤️

Van Beethoven Ludwig - Symphony No 7 A-Dur, op 92

Verdi Guiseppe - Requiem 1 - Dies irae, Libera me ❤️

Vivaldi Antonio - Concerto for Mandolin in C Major RV425

I also really like movie and video game soundtracks! I have a lot of tracks if you're interested. By the way, would you like to share some songs that you like? :)

[queerstudiesnatural]

hii rain! i'm in a starmania lockdown which makes me curious. i know you enjoy broadway and music so what is your opinion on french musicals. do you also picture a le bien qui fait mal demon dean/drowley amv when you lie awake. do you teach the classics to your kids. do you have a fav. do you dislike them. feel free to ramble 👀

hiiii <3

ok so like. i've literally never seen a french musical i'm sorry 😩

the only french "musicals" i know are like. operas. and kids musicals.

i've done some songs from le soldat rose with my kids. i've also made them sing carmen by george bizet. avec la garde montante is really fun to do with kids.

oh and les choristes is one of my favourite movies!!! sometimes i just put on the soundtrack a cry because it's so beautiful

i know i used to love le boa cantor as a kid, i'd play it over and over on my little cassette tape reader, but i can't really remember it :/

i listen to atys by lully all the time though, it's been my top album on spotify for the past 3 years lol

[codependentsamanddean]

ever since I wrote The Love That Remains, it was very important for me to have this specific moment turned into art. I’ve kept that thought in my mind, and after my artist for this year’s Big Bang commissioned an art from @kamidiox for Wake Me Up When September Ends, I knew what I had to do.

so i commissioned Kami myself so she could bring to life this moment from my fic, when the boys get married. If you’ve read this one and my notes in the end, you know what this story means to me. I just received this and I almost screamed, it’s so perfect. It captures everything and I can’t even put into words how amazing this is. Thank you again Kami for this amazing your, you’re just awesome! This means the world to me!

[summoned-anima]

    So, my Holmes is a complete disaster as a person, he is unable to function in society and even with himself & he manages to put his perfect disguise in Chaldea only because he has important and exciting job to do. But I often think about this line from his bio.

      “For argument’s sake, if his origin is the stories that were written of him, then there is a possibility that it would include not only Doyle’s novels but also their pastiches as well... according to gossip heard among Chaldea staff.”

     And makes me think how Heroic Spirits are bounded to their Spirit Origin. Alright, they can change a bit but not as much as humans because they are reflections of people’s memory about said character. So my point is - Holmes is doomed to be disfunctional and - at this point - has zero chances of changing his ways, no matter how he was in his true life.

    Despite Holmes being a real person one day, Servant Holmes is completely created by people and they made him this way.

[serenade361k]

Gonna watch my comfort play, Le bourgeois gentilhomme, for the 367th time… What better thing to do on my free evening?

[nestascassian]

guyss i know i haven’t been here a lot, life has been crazy in the past few months and i haven’t have the time to be here very often rip

i have a twitter tho and i’m there a lot more regularly, so if you want you can follow me there for a lot of the 100 and elite (++ other shit) ramblings

[elinaline]

🎹📺💬 :)

Oof I took a long shower and almost forgot about that kgjdjf

🎹 do you play any instruments ?

Yes ! I play the flute ! I've started when I was five and a half so it's almost been twenty years, that's wild. I spent 10 of those 18 years in a traditional South-west marching band (a banda), that won a lot of prizes, one of my proudest accomplishment to this day is having been the piccolo soloist on an Abel Moreno piece as he was here exceptionally to direct us. I still remember our director (whom we call Lully 💜💜💜💜💜) introducing me to this old guy who went "ahh la flautina :)))" and hugged me

📺 what people or topic do you like watching on YouTube, if anything ?

I really like video essays and people studying in details movies or video games ! This dates back from high school when a genius French YouTuber, Karim Debbache, made the Crossed series, talking about the cinematography of movies linked to video games. He disappeared for like two years then came back with a Kickstarter which was funded up to 1000% (!!!!) for another great series on cinema called Chroma. Now I watch Filmjoy, the video game fanfare, beyond Ghibli (who absolutely deserves a bigger audience he's doing such a great job), the doctor word lady (she's actually a linguist talking about the origins of language and it's really fun and interesting, she also deserves a lot more views !), Daryl talks games (who talks about the psychology in video games, it's also really interesting although I kinda wish he went deeper in his videos sometimes), and to unwind I love me a good Cut lineup or a playthrough by Kizuna AI.

Well it looks like I spend a lot of times on YouTube, but actually these days it's more like 3h a week and then I get bored haha ^^

💬 talk about anything you want !

Uh, oof ? Uh big ramble but I know I talk a lot about what I want in the future rn, and it might seem like I'm only focusing on the later but that's not the case, and it shouldng be for anybody. Even if we have goals, it's important to be able to appreciate the right now, be it by going to the movies, going out with friends, or even just enjoying staying home doing nothing !

Also big ramble bis but I really hate how everything seems so set in stone on internet, and how it makes everyone angry all the time. I wish people remembered everyone says shitty things, but the important part is whether or not we apologize and try to improve, and I wish more people also remembered to tweak their social networks so that they saw what they wanted instead of facing a constant flow of negative information. It's super important to be able to set boundaries, say "ok I realise this makes me irrationally angry/really uneasy/annoys me so I will block it/stop following this person", instead of always being on the verge of breaking and lashing out at everyone for the smallest thing. And I say this as I keep learning myself, I got Twitter again just one year ago and there's still so much shit that makes me so angry on there, and it's also impossible to turn a blind eye to the constant stream of bad news coming from everywhere all the time. But for the sake of everyone's sanity, we should all take breaks when we become overwhelmed, and block what is the most triggering.

[starsaga01]

So uhh i know if my gf or my irl friends see this on my tumblr they are going to REAM me for having MLP oc’s but you know what, frick off gaywads. 

Uhm if you wanna know WHY i made these and their backstories then click the keep reading, if not just enjoy the designs and changes. 

The bottom two are the original concepts for the refined characters up top. I watch a lot of those channels on youtube that just rip peoples oc’s apart and they were going into depth as to how “hard” it is to make decent Pony Characters. I was like come on it cannot be that hard, and i made two designs on the spot and then did a redraw to finish up what they should look like. ALSO everyone who is in the MLP Fandom seems to HATE alicorns that arent cannon because a lot of people dont design or write them well. So i made these both backstories and DawnLilly does have a reason/event that happened as to WHY she is one. Also im pretty sure i based SorrowSong’s design on an old mobile i had as a baby. So thats cool. Anyways im rambling and yeah i made these as a why the hell not. 

Name: Sorrow Song Nicknames: Lully, Song Gender: Female Age: 10 horse years  Species: Unicorn Height: 5 ft Weight: She’s like average weight for a taller pony. Dunno Hometown: Silver Blossom Island Current Residence: Volcanbloom Island Occupation: Caretaker/teacher Mane Color/Style/Length: Long, in a braid on top, hair curls around eachother in the tail Coat Description: a lavender  Eye Shape/Color: Yellow, sharp yet sad Accessories: None Cutie Mark:  A crescent moon and music note with a little star Special Talent: Singing Lullabies, she can calm and lull anypony to sleep Family: DawnLilly, Silver Ship, and Spring Melody Friends: Characters i will not make refs for that live on the islands Personality: She is reserved but very kind, she is the type to want to help out whoever she can, she loves children and often volunteers to watch them if she has a friend who needs help. She does not get along with her sister but still loves her dearly, she is kind of socially awkward but people like her. She gets along better with children and often spends her nights with them Flaws: She is Quick to judge, she tends to snap at older ponies rather than the kids, she will sometimes not voice her opinions and thus keeps her frustrated, often lets her emotions fester before blowing up. Has an ugly laugh. [Character History] Her family as well as herself is from a large group of islands far off from anywhere near the actual storyline of MLP. A lot of the times there are storms and the parents will try to use magic and abilities to hold it off or lessen them, when they go off they elect someone to watch over all the children. When she was old enough, they asked SorrowSong to watch them on a particularly nasty storm night. The little foals were restless, scared, and couldnt sleep due to the storm. Not knowing what to do after trying to give them food, and bedtime stories she began to sing. She was singing more so to calm herself, but all around her one by one the kids began to settle down and eventually fall asleep. This is how she got her cutie mark.  [Powers List]

She can use basic magics like making things float or move, magic based around helping sleep or calm others, when she is angry if she uses magic it can give someone insomnia. 

Name: Dawn Lilly Nicknames: Lilly, Dawn, Sweetie Gender: Female Age: 4 horse years Species: Alicorn Height: 4 ft 4 inches Weight: like twilight weight Hometown: Silver Blossom Island Current Residence: Volcanbloom Island Occupation: Guardian of the Islands Mane Color/Style/Length: Long waveyish curls at the ends, a pink and light green mane color Coat Description: soft yellow Eye Shape/Color: bright pink Accessories: None Cutie Mark: An island blossom with a ring of magic around it (before she became an alicorn it had just been a blossom with two small stars of blue magic coming out) Special Talent: Helping plants grow and bloom Family: Sorrow Song, Silver Ship, and Spring Melody Friends: Characters i will not make refs for that live on the islands Personality: She is very young compared to her sister and that reflects in her very happy yet bumbling personality, while she IS an alicorn she feels that she has not changed at all from the unicorn she once was. She is unsure of herself when the islanders come to her for advice, and while she is usually happy and outgoing times of decision making make her nervous and stutter. She is NOT a princess, there are cheifs of the islands, and she is more like their mutual adviser. When she wants to be she can be quite the assertive little one, but most of the time she wants to be spending her days gardening and swimming with her friends.  Flaws: She is a little too care free for her job. She is not good at making tough choices or being put on the spot. A lot of the time she will run away from her issues, and she is self doubting constantly.  [Character History] When she was little she helped her mom grow Silver Lillies, that are difficult to properly care for. When they had not grown properly and started to wilt her mother told her that perhaps a different kind of flower, but Dawn Lilly would not take that answer, she tries all different types of magic trying to get them to grow. One night when she was tired she went outside during a blue moon, and she tried one last spell before she was going to give up. As she did the flowers began to bloom and glow bright under the moon, thus giving her her cutie mark of the magic to make plants grow. 

Alicorn: There is a large volcano on Volcanbloom Island. Legends said that thousands of years before a dragon has decided to make its home there, and it slept within the volcano. Well after all those years a horrible storm that the other ponies could not control shook the islands to their cores, thus awakening the sleeping dragon. The dragon had grown much larger as it had slept and as it emerged it burst the volcano sending lava spewing all over the different islands and burning the lush forests of the islands. While most of the ponies were okay, their islands were bare and torn apart. Because it was her special power she decided to try a spell she had been working on to grow masses of plant life all at once. She had been making it so they could harvest and grow crops in larger amounts. This was her chance to use it for more, to aide the entire population of the islands. She stood at the top of what was left of the volcano and channeled the spell. As her horn sparked to life a giant beam of light came up from the volcano and an ancient spirit who had resided there whispered to Dawn Lilly that she was going to be her vessel, and as she did the spell went off like a boom. The plants and trees had began to regrow all over, the ground clearing of ash and rising an amount of green that not been seen on the isles in a long time. As the spell retracted to her she passed out, small pink blooms going up the face of the island. When Dawn Lilly awoke she was surrounded by her friends and family who stared at her in shock and awe. She had become an alicorn and the blue sparkles that had once been above the little on her cutie mark was now an entire aura of blue magic and she had wings. Now she protects her islands while trying to discover why her, and what her greater purpose as an alicorn is.  [Powers List]

Uhm well her powers are pretty obvious from the rest of the story. So read it.

[madamehenriette]

Some of my favorite quotes from, Madame, a life of Henrietta, Daughter of Charles I, and Duchess of Orleans. by Julia Mary Cartwright Ady

The House of Commons sent an address of congratulation on her arrival, with a present of 10,000 jacobuses, upon which Henrietta wrote a graceful letter of thanks to the Speaker, begging him to excuse her want of facility in the English tongue, but assuring him that she had not lost her English heart.

The young Queen was in delicate health, and too stiff and formal to take an active part in society. Madame soon found herself the leader of the fashionable world, and the Tuileries became the centre of the Court. All the men were at her feet, all the women adored her. Foremost among her admirers, was the King himself. For the first time, he recognised the charms which in his early youth he had refused to own, and declared aloud that he must have been the most unjust of men, not to think Madame the fairest and best of women. He paid daily visits to his young sister-in-law, and took increasing delight in her com pany.

Among the ladies who formed part of Madame's intimate circle, were several of the wittiest and handsomest women of the day. There was the widowed Duchesse de Chatillon, famous for her intrigues in the Fronde, and said to be the only woman who had ever touched the great Conde's heart. Bablon, as she is familiarly called in Henrietta's letters, had, at one time, caught Charles II.'s roving fancy, and had incurred Mademoiselle's jealousy, by boasting that she might one day be Queen of England. In this respect, her ambition had been disappointed, but she remained intimate with Madame and her royal brother, who kept a soft corner in his heart for his old flame. And there was the Duchesse de Cr6qui, and Mademoiselle de Mortemart, better known in after days as Madame de Montespan, and Madame de Monaco, daughter of the Marechal de Gramont and sister of Monsieur's prime favourite, the handsome Comte de Guiche.

The other was Madeleine de la Vergne, the young Mar quise de La Fayette, [..] Although some ten years older than Madame, she remained her most intimate friend and confidant to the end of her life, and it speaks well for the lively young Princess, that she should have been so deeply attached to one whose tastes and habits were so different from her own.

It is interesting, as one of the very few private letters we have from the pen of Louis XIV., and shows the pleasant terms on which he was with his young sister-in-law. " Fontainebleau, Friday. " If I wish myself at Saint-Cloud it is not because of its grottoes or the freshness of its foliage. Here we have gardens fair enough to console us, but the company which is there now, is so good, that I find myself furiously tempted to go there, and if I did not expect to see you here to-morrow, I do not know what I should do, and could not help making a journey to see you. Remember me to all your ladies, and do not forget the affection which I have promised you, and which is, I can assure you, all you could possibly desire, if indeed you wish me to love you very much. Give my best love to my brother. " To my sister."

Under these circumstances, it was hardly to be wondered if Madame found pleasure in the companionship of the King. His natural ascendency of character might well captivate the fancy of a maiden barely yet seventeen years old. Here was a Prince, full of great schemes and noble ambitions, ready to share his dreams with her, and to seek her sympathy. The mutual attraction which drew them together was heightened by their mutual discontent. The friendship which sprang up between them had all the flavour of romance. They wrote verses that were read and applauded by the whole Court, and sent each other little notes, innocent enough in themselves, but which raised suspicion in other breasts. Significant looks were exchanged, and mysterious whispers passed from one to another. Courtiers ventured to express their regret that Madame did not hold a more exalted place at Court, and to hint that, had the King known her better a year or two ago, he would have made her his Queen. But for the moment, Monsieur was too well amused with the novelty of his own position, and the importance which he acquired from his wife's influence with the King, to show any signs of resentment.

On hot afternoons, Madame would drive out, attended by all the ladies of the Court, to bathe in one of the clear streams which flow through the forest, and then ride back on horse back in the cool of the evening. The King himself, followed by his suite, would come to meet her and escort her home. Henrietta was a fearless rider, and never looked better than when, mounted on her horse and wearing a gold-laced habit and coloured plumes in her shady hat, she appeared at the head of this brilliant cavalcade. Long after Madame was dead and gone, the recollection of those joyous processions, wind ing their way through the leafy glades in the bright evening light, lived among the fairest memories of the Sun-King's Court.

Or else the King would lead the way to the Her mitage de Franchard, or some such picturesque spot in the forest, where a dainty collation was served under the trees, and the sound of horn and clarion woke the echoes of the rocks. After supper, the royal party would embark on a richly-decorated gondola and float down the waters of the canal, to the strains of Lulli's wonderful violins, and the great Conde, and other Princes of the blood, would hand refresh ments to the Queen and princesses.

There were hunting expeditions in the woods, moonlight serenades prolonged far on into the night, and lonely rambles into the depths of the forest. Strange were the sights the stars looked down upon, strange the tales that were whispered under the spread ing boughs of the ancient beeches. In all of these hunting parties or moonlight walks, the King was Madame's com panion. She shared all his tastes, and entered into all his plans, with a spirit and a vivacity of which the poor, dull Queen was utterly incapable.

So sang the chorus in Benserade's flattering verses, as the King sank on bended knee before Madame, and owned her Queen of Beauty, amid the applause of the whole Court.

Three days later, at an early hour on the 27th, she gave birth to a daughter. The event was premature, but passed off happily. Her mother was with her at the time, and before six o'clock, the King and the two Queens arrived to offer Madame their congratulations. Both parents, however, were greatly disappointed at the child's sex, and Madame, on hearing she had given birth to a daughter, is said to have exclaimed, " Then throw her into the river ! " Her mother-in-law was much scandalised at these lamenta tions, and by way of consoling Madame, observed that if she had not given birth to a prince, her little daughter, who was but a few months younger than the baby Dauphin, might some day yet become a Queen.

[codependentsamanddean]

okay can we all agree that it WASN’T Jared who posted on his Instagram? I’ve been saying this for a while and this last post made it like ridiculously obvious that it wasn’t him.

[codependentsamanddean]

It’s time for New Orleans Convention.

you know what’s the first thing that comes to my mind every time I think about the fact that I’m actually attending Nola?

it was august of 2016, right after Minncon, and Heather Karri and I were at the Minneapolis airport waiting for our flights. We were walking through the terminal and Heather was talking about how she was going to New Orleans convention, in october of 2017. we had already briefly talked about it on the car ride to the airport. And I remember being adamant about it. “I’m not going.” And that was it.

It’s not easy for me to go to a con. I don’t live anywhere near a convention place, I don’t even live in the US. I have to fly at least 10 hours to go to any convention. If you follow me since 2013/2014, you know the struggle it was to get to Chicon 2014, my first con. my passport was expired, I didn’t have a Visa. I had just started a new job, I had to borrow money from my mom to buy the ticket. “since that’s gonna be my only con, I wanna go gold!” I said back then. It wasn’t easy, a whole year of planning, but it paid off. My dream finally came true and I met the boys for the first time and that would be it. 

2 months later I was determined to go to another con. It couldn’t just end there. So I convinced Karri and in august of 2016 we went to Minncon. I knew at the time that it was really gonna be my last, I cried while talking to Jared during autos because I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again. I wanted to travel to other places, spend money on other things, so I was sure I wasn’t coming back for Nola. I wished Heather all the happiness but I was like no.

Funny thing, tomorrow night I get on a plane to New Orleans. How did this happen? I don’t know. I remember sitting at an italian restaurant in NYC (where I flew to after minncon to spend a few days) and Karri was messaging me saying she was thinking about going to Nola. And that I had to come too.

Fuck.

I knew that if Karri and Heather (and prob Allison by that point) were coming, how could I stay behind and watch it? By the time I arrived back home, I knew I was going even if I still hadn’t confirmed to them yet. I knew that 14 months from then, I’d be there.There was never really a choice. I wanted to be with my girls, wanted to see the boys again. Karri and I rushed to buy our tickets, silver was almost ending. I remember being at a barbecue, no wifi, buying tickets from my phone and praying for the creation website to work. it seemed like a lifetime away, more people joined us, the con was only in october of 2017, fucking 14 months away.

Now, it’s this week. I get to see my friends in less thn two days, a few years ago I didn’t even dream about meeting them in person and here we are, spending a few days at Nola together. it’s amazing to see what this show brought me, and I’m very thankful for it all.

this week I’ll be posting about the con and the trip altogether on my twitter, if you wanna follow me, it’s @j2loveeachother. 

Let the newest adventure begin. Because that’s what we’re here for!

[codependentsamanddean]

I can’t imagine what it must mean to Jensen to have Jared by his side, specially at this con. 

two years ago, Jensen was singing to Jared, alone on stage, and he started to cry in the middle of the song because he was also hurting so much since Jared was in the hardest place of his life and he couldn’t be with him. He missed Jared so much, he almost lost him (as we know now for sure after reading Jared’s chapter). 

and now his boy is by his side, happy and alive, and he can sing with him and celebrate their life. He can hug him tight and sing in his ear “don’t you cry no more” 

they’re carrying it on.

[codependentsamanddean]

I am so fucking incredibly happy that Jared overcame his anxiety and insecurities and finally played guitar for us. But I also want to acknowledge Jensen, who probably encouraged him a thousand times to do it.

let’s remember Jensen also had his own insecurities, he was also shy about singing in public until not too long ago, but he put himself out there and he graces us with his beautiful voice often. And now, he has managed to do the same to Jared. 

Jensen himself told us a while ago that Jared likes to play guitar, but he feels shy about doing it in public. Can you imagine how many times Jensen told Jared that he was good, that he should play for everyone. We already got a glimpse of Jared’s amazing singing voice when he recorded a song for Jason Manns’  Christmas album, but we had yet to see him playing. I can see them practicing it a lot of times, and Jensen asking him to do it. 

Now, he finally did it, and I love how Jensen keeps looking at Jared as he sings, silently telling him “I’m here, you’re doing good, it’s okay”. I’m sure Jared was so nervous, I imagine he tuned everyone else down, he focused only on Jensen so he could get through it. At some point, Jensen got up to take the focus off Jared a bit, to make him feel more relaxed. And after it was over, he made everyone stand up and applaud Jared, to show him how amazing he was. I’m completely sure Jared would never have done it if it Jensen wasn’t there. 

And it’s amazing how it’s a two way street. Something just came in my mind right now, at PCA’s 2013 (I think) when the boys went up the stage to present an award, and Jensen was so fucking nervous he couldn’t breathe while speaking, and Jared took over and finished for him, because he sensed Jensen was distressed. Now Jensen did the same for Jared.

One helps the other. They are a team and they support each other in everything, and I have never seen such a beautiful thing. 

[codependentsamanddean]

hearing about Chester death and his struggle with depression made me think of Jared.

God, I remember like it was yesterday. I was at work and word was that Jared had cancelled his appearance at Jib because he had an anxiety crisis, and then that tweet came from him. I couldn’t focus at work anymore. I remember going to bed that friday praying god, don’t let me wake up to the worst news please, please, please. Instead I woke up to Jensen singing Sweet Home Alabama and crying because of Jared. then it was radio silence for weeks, and jfc those were terrible weeks, no news from Jared at all, the fear of the worst. And now Jared’s chapter on that book, writing how close he really came from leaving this world. It makes me upset remembering it. 

And I think that Chester may be someone’s Jared. And that they lost him today. My heart aches because I honestly don’t know how would it be if I had gotten the news that something happened to Jared. Today at work after we got the news on Chester, my boss joked “Luciana (me) is upset even if she gets the news that Sam (she calls Jared “Sam”) tripped there in the US! If something happened to him she would miss work for a month!”

She has no idea how close it was. How I celebrate each of his birthdays way more now, how I was much more emotional the second time I met him than the first, because it was after we almost lost him. I’ve seen some people mocking him today on twitter because he had an anxiety attack while he was among the crowd yesterday giving autos, I hope you never have to go through that. And just because he’s a celebrity, it doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to be anxious. This fandom is lacking in sympathy.

anyway, I dont even know why I’m writing this, I’m just a bit upset I guess. Everytime we lose someone like this I think about Jared, and I send a little thank you up there that we still have him doing keg stands for us. 

Chester fans, I’m so sorry for your loss. 

and thank you for one more day.

[codependentsamanddean]

tonight I went out for a burger by myself bc I just felt like eating a burger. So I drove my car to my fav place, had a delicious burger all by myself and came back home.

then all of the sudden I remembered a particular scene on the last fic I wrote. Jared, who became a paraplegic in the beginning of the story, after going through a long road, finds enough courage to drive to Wendy’s by himself and have a simple burger, all on his own. and he feels so damn incredibly happy for being able to do something so simple as having a burger by himself, bc for him, it’s a huge achievement. 

it hit me just how simple those things are, just go have something to eat by yourself, yet for some people are inimaginable for a number of reasons. And we just take things like this for granted bc we do it everyday. Writing this fic was very important to myself too, it opened my eyes to another reality and made me appreciate what I have much much more. Just being able to wake up and get up from the bed is something to be celebrated.