#MOUSE BITES.

[lovelenivy]

mouse bites™

[boabelboo]

this is so shit i need [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] mouse bites to live

[imsofansie]

Gregory House the type of guy to say “outta my way, gayboy” to his reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror as he goes for whatever he’s got in there

[jhomiesam]

[is-it-sarcoidosis]

multiple times a day my sister randomly rattles off “house we need to cure this patient” (occasionally in a horrible australian accent) which, of course, has only one appropriate way for me to respond.

[houseswife]

people who aren’t in the house md fandom assume that the batshit craziness of these plotlines starts and ends with the old man yaoi and the malpractice. you all think you understand? [grabs you by the face] listen to me closely. these patients specifically seek out house because he’s known as the capital-G God of diagnostics. on MULTIPLE occasions someone has come in with seizures, coughing up blood, in multi-system organ failure and the team is like “it says here in the chart that you’ve had sex before?… yeah so we have concluded that ur allergic to cum :/ sorry.” and then are genuinely shocked when their treatment of “no more taking big fat loads from peanis” doesn’t reverse sepsis. this is a medical drama. about medical mysteries

[aliciedraws]

nom

[iriily]

I have a love-hate relationship with the housemd intro bc on one hand I love the music, the coloring, the little shuffling sound right before RSL's name shows up on the screen...on the other hand why is everyone else represented as some anatomical part of the body but then Jennifer Morrison is a fucking river

[manicpixiemidgirl]

Y'know, I think you and a lot of people mistake House for being homophobic, racist, sexist, and transphobic (maybe a little more credit to that one, but if the show was being made in more modern day we might see otherwise). None of them remotely realize,

He's being edgy.

He's purposefully getting a rise out of people because he likes getting people angry at him.

If you listen to what he says when he ACTUALLY means what he's saying, he's actually progressive, especially for the time. He calls the HIV guy's dad a bigot because he thought he hated his son for being gay. He told the football player "you won't need to play sports now to get a good career" when his skin started to discolor to white. He literally said "white, skinny, pretty people make all the rules in society" at one point. All of his actions prove that he believes women are just as capable as men are, if not more so in some cases, especially with Thirteen and Amber. He's FIERCLEY pro choice and doesn't even try to hide it or pretend otherwise.

And while he definitely has some pretty terrible stuff going on with intersex/trans people, the show frames him in a bad way for doing so.

House is a horrendous person in a lot of ways, but he's not ACTUALLY a bigot. He just likes to pretend to be because he hates it when people like him and tries to push them away.

[micecakes]

elf ears are for chewing I think

[househeritageposts]

it has come to my attention that not everyone has seen this iconic video so i'm gonna post it here and pin this post 🫡

[babygirlhouse]

house md 2024 headcanons 🫡

hi loves!! jumping on this trend :^) i don't think any of these make sense but they made me laugh soooo here u go

House has a very bad pain day and (when pushed) says that he strained the muscle while riding his bike. Obviously nobody believes him, so the ducklings + Wilson spend the day trying to figure out what he did and end up finding security footage of him attempting to hit the griddy in the morgue 

Kutner has a very generic inspirational quotes tumblr blog (he’s so proud of it) and House finds it and just starts dropping quotes from it in DDXs to mess with him & then acting all innocent 

Thirteen has a secret thirst trap tiktok acc that doesn’t explicitly show her face but has her lab coat & maybe stethoscope. When Chase suggests that it’s her she doesn’t confirm or deny it and just keeps winking. Cameron definitely follows the account after this. Thirteen pretends not to realise.

Wilson takes a uquiz to find out what sort of cheese he is and is devastated when it says he’s cheddar. He then has an identity crisis because he thinks he’s too bland and tries to reinvent his aesthetic, leading to one infected eyebrow piercing and a tramp stamp that’s never mentioned again. Potential there for a sappy scene where House tells him he's anything but bland.

Cuddy starts a momblog style podcast. House sends anonymous hate. Taub guest stars. 

I think Taub would get deeply into ASMR. Like it’d start with him finding and playing a video of ASMR triggers for his daughters, then he tries it himself to see if that calms them down even more, etc etc. He starts a youtube channel and it blows up. He gets recognised by patients at the hospital. It goes to his head just a little. He unironically uses the term 'ASMRtist'

A cosplayer has a mysterious illness and the team has to go to a convention to test for environmental factors. Chase is apprehensive but House forces him to go. He’s quickly recognised at the convention and it turns out that he has a cosplay instagram account and they get stopped every 10 mins to take pictures. No one lets him live it down 

Thirteen and Cameron kiss & fall in love & babysit Taub's kids. House makes relentless jokes but is quietly very fond of them and their relationship. Pls i need this

Foreman has a twitter/X account where he posts a combination of work out tips/inspirational quotes (not as sweet as Kutner's blog, more grindset vibes yknow) but he gets mixed up in a pyramid scheme for protein powders and gets cancelled. Also potential for a sappy scene here where Foreman says he admires Kutner for not letting House's teasing about his blog get to him. They're besties now and make each other better.

Cuddy forces all of them to go on a wellness retreat. House and Wilson make a bet to see who can go the longest without speaking. It's not even a silent retreat, they're just like that. Also someone convinces Chase that the utility shed on the retreat is haunted.

The wellness retreat no speaking bet also def has potential for gay chicken. Like Wilson kisses House to see if that will get him to lose the bet. By the next morning neither of them know or care who lost the bet, they leave their room looking Extremely disheveled and return to the hospital very much together. Cuddy is not at all surprised. She planned this. Each of the ducklings hand her $100.

PPTH minecraft server. yeah

[leghorned]

well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers

[is-it-sarcoidosis]

my favourite flavour of house outro is when they show all the happy couples being all together and cute and stuff and then they show hilson being hilson

[couchsterfield]

just need to get this out of my system

[loz-tearsofahomo]

house md fans are the fandom equivalent of scientists who have gone insane and start to blabber about what seems to be nonsense after their breakthrough discovery. and then they take you on a journey. Or you are curious as to how exactly they ended up this way and dig too deep. and suddenly, it's not gibberish anymore. Suddenly you need mouse bites to live. Suddenly it no longer vexes you. Suddenly you know for a fact it's not lupus.