#MY BLOG NEEDED KITA CONTENT OK

[emmyrosee]

LMAOO I AM H*GH AGAIN BUT LISTEN-

kita shinsuke is a sucker for animals, maybe even more than he is for kids. If there is an animal on the side of the road, he’s taking it to the vet. If there’s a quiet “mrrow” when he’s walking home, he’s pulling out his water and letting the poor thing drink until it’s content and purring happily. And if there is a dog in a rainstorm, you’d best BELIEVE he is not above sitting with the poor thing under his umbrella, letting the rain slow down before slowly leaving with a heavy heart.

And one day, one of the dogs follows him home. Which is fine, kita assumes he’ll just feed her some human scraps and she’ll be on her way, but when he wakes up the next day and she’s waiting for him by the door, he feels strange, knowing that there’s a dog who recognizes him and all he’s done for her.

When leaves, he pets her soft head, and when he gets back, he does the same, talking babyish and cooing sweetly at the stray. He’ll let her stay, but he’s definitely not going to keep her, that’s way too much responsibility right now! He’ll wait for her owner to come get her.

Then it starts to get cold. So he puts a few blankets down for her to curl into. Then, she starts following him to school, so he has to tie her to a lengthy leash in the yard. Anything but deciding to keep the dog- she may have a family, and he’s just going to steal her? Risk growing attached? No. Not on his watch.

But then, it starts to snow, he hears the poor thing whimper during that first storm. He can’t sleep, he feels so guilty for it, they weren’t expecting snow for weeks out- but she’s crying for him, for warmth, and kita just can’t bring it in himself to ignore her.

So. He sneaks her in. Claws clicking softly against the floors, he guides her snowy body up to his room to spend the night. The dog’s tail wags, her tongue bouncing jovially as she watches kita stumble around to make a small doggy bed out of clothes.

..before jumping into his bed.

“Oh no,” he chuckles, tugging at the blankets. “No no, that is not an option.” The dog merely looks at him as if he’s the bother in this situation, her furry head laying on the mattress. Not to mention, he’s talking to a dog, how late was it-

“Come on, get down,” he says firmly, snapping his fingers at the pile of random fabrics to cushion a spot on the floor.

The dog closes her eyes sleepily.

Kita groans. It’s not like she’s a small dog either, he can’t lift her and place her on the floor. Even so, she’d obviously jump back up. He sighs in defeat before slipping in the bed next to her, and damn, she does feel warm and without even thinking, his fingers wrap around her floppy ear to rub gently, as he used to do with his favorite stuffed animal as a child.

The next day, kita buys her a collar. he takes her to the vet to make sure she isn’t tagged, and he’s thrilled to find out that she’s not.

Because he’s never slept better than with that furry beast snuggled against his legs, snoring happily.

Because it’s then he realizes yes, she does have a home; now, with him.

[shingia]

Coucou alma,

Je ne suis aps sûre que tu l'aies fait alors alors si ce n'est pas le cas est ce que tu pourrais faire kuroo, suna et kita (ou d'autres si tu n'es pas à l'aise avec eux) qui prennent soin de leur s/o qui a ses règles? je les ai actuellement et je suis en pls 😭💀

Bisous et passe une bonne journée 🧡

✗ HQ BOYS TAKING CARE OF THEIR S/O WHEN THEY’RE ON THEIR PERIOD ✗

alors non j’ai jamais eu cette ‘request’ avant MAIS je voulais écrire qqch la dessus depuis super longtemps donc vrm merci hahahah! en plus avec ces 3 là? par-fait 🤌🏼 bonne journée aussi et surtout bon courage mdrr, je compatis 🥲

-> kuroo, suna, kita

-> cw : one mention of «  pretty girl » for suna, mentions if food

— KUROO

« oh- wait, don’t move! i got you babe » kuroo exclaimed as soon as he heard you groan in pain next to him. quickly getting out of bed, he made his way to his desk where he pulled a metallic box out of one of the drawers. he looked equally happy and proud to see that this emergency kit he had made just for you was finally coming in handy. « so : we got heating pads, snacks, some painkillers... » he started running through the contents of the box before turning around to grab one of his hoodies that he tossed at you, « did i forget anything ? i also have a stock of pads and tampons in my bathroom if you-». chuckling in spite of the pain, you cut him off gently : « it’s perfect tetsu. thank you ». his smile grew a little bit bigger as he climbed into bed next to you while you put his hoodie on. pulling you closer, his warm hands then slipped under the fabric to bring some heat on the skin of your stomach, where he started to rub tiny circles. nuzzling against his chest, a sleepy smile grew on your lips : « ok i take it back, now it’s perfect »

— SUNA

observant as he was, suna was always quick to notice the first signs of period cramps, and therefore quick to act. « alright, come here » he said as he sat you between his legs, your back against his chest. after pulling a heavy blanket over you, he stretched his arm to his right to grab his laptop that he put on your stomach very carefully. « is it too heavy ? » he asked, only opening it after you had shaken your head no. you obviously knew he had your favorite movies memorized, but you didn’t know that he had, in fact, downloaded all of them in a folder dedicated to you on his desktop. « choice is yours, pretty girl », he told you, crossing one arm over your chest to keep you as close to him as possible while turning the lights off with his free hand. and after about fifteen minutes, he felt your muscles relax on top of him and placed a satisfied kiss on your temple, glad to see that the heat of his laptop was starting to calm your cramps, just as planned.

— KITA

« so ya don’t... think it’s weird ? » kita asked you, nervous about the way he had just admitted that he had downloaded an app that kept track of your cycle, « i just wanted to be prepared ». he adjusted the covers over you, one hand still holding the heating pad on your stomach. « it’s not weird, shin. i’m glad to know that you care », you reassured him, placing your hand over his that was already burning hot. but before you could say anything, he started to slowly make his way out of bed : « i’m gonna go make some tea », he told you, but was interrupted by your hand clasping his t-shirt. surprised, he quirked an eyebrow before insisting : « it’ll be good for your cramps ». but you refused to let go, and even began to pull him back towards you : « honey, i appreciate the thought but... right now i need you more than i need tea ». both his eyebrows were raised now, and his cheeks took a light pink tint as he made himself comfortable under the covers. « better ? » he asked, his large arms pulling you in a hug that was tight enough for the heating pad to stay in place on its own.

taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight @xomiya @shoyotime @borealis-tristesse

[lovingnekoma]

i’ve been meaning to do another 18+ & dc haikyuu/bnha/jjk blogs i love post but haven’t had the time so uhhhh here are some real quick (repetitive of my last post but i love these blogs ok bls let me love you) (but issokie if you don’t wanna let me lov you too that’s so valid you’re so valid)

reminder to read each blog’s dni/byf before you interact or follow!! everyone has different things they’re comfortable with, and all of these people should be respected!!!

MINORS DNI

@sugardaddykenma always my top rec for a blog. lin, i’d die for you. someone give her the fucking crown she deserves. not the burger king one, but also that. the funniest person on this hellsite and 100% one of my fav blogs ever.

@atsumuse once again, i present: mimi. a literal goddess. follow her so you, too, can have an insanely high laundry bill bc her writing will make you gush. <3

@samuslut literally so chill n so nice??? her writing makes me take fucking laps, it never misses and i could exist in her masterlists forever

@iwaasfairy if you wanted meian shugo content, fairy’s blog is the place. i constantly reread all her writing and she is the nicest person ever, i adore her.

@inarizahki sunny’s writing is so good??? the kita content fuels my whole existence and her vibes are immaculate. follow 4 good timez. her and her anons have fucking massive brains.

@aiiwa NONA MY BELOVED <33 her anime boyfriend scenarios make me scream into my pillow and she has the coolest themes ever and her writing her wRITING

@devilkou eden literally never fucking misses. i always resist mass liking/reblogging everything on her blog and she also has the cutest themes n masterlists ok just follow n adore her thats an order

@introloves i scream into the void everytime jax posts bc her writing?? fucking slaps so hard???? also such fun vibes n cute rainbow dividers. if you aren’t consistently reblogging her work, what’re you doing

@yourtamaki god-tier writing. i read one (1) drabble, read the dni/byf (do that. for everyone. yes thank u) and then followed i’m in lOVE. everytime ive been like i wanna read this specific thing, sunny has been 7 lightyears ahead and blessed this cesspool of a site.

@ringpop-poppy kneel for an icon!!! her brain!!! is gorgeous!!!! thirst posts that send me running to fill up my water bottle and just very great interactions w anons !!!

@keishinslove if you have not experienced the feeling of seeing carter on your dash and getting annihilated by her big fucking brain, you need to. her writing makes me slkfskjdfs <33 in best way

@sleepyrintaro ok rinnie is currently on hiatus but bls go check out her blog anyway. her headcanons are so so fucking good and she makes the cutest dividers and her vibe’s brilliant idk what more you need

[bnha-butterfly]

Hi! Aaaaa it says reqs are open so? Dbdbbff could i pls request the twins suna and kita with a trans male autistic s/o? Like headcanons on how they interact with him or whatever u want really tbh jdndfnn just ignore this if i did it wrong and sorry if i was specific enough. Ty in advance!

 Kita, Suna, Atsamu, Osamu with an autistic trans male s/o

Hi hi random ask again fnfnf so u said u prob might take a while to get around to my request so i figured if i sent this ask in to give further detail it wouldnt like really screw with anything bc u havent started working on it yet? Presumably? Hdhdhf when i sent my req in i didnt really have anything specific in mind outside of general autism but! I did think of more details that i havent seen really talked about in general (in all kinda autism content and discussions ngl) so uh what do u think about adding to my request "low functioning" s/o like cant go to school or get a job bc its just so stressful and s/o cant cope type stuff (bc whenever theres autism representation its always the more "higher functioning" end of things which is like not everyones autism? Like its like that very one dimensional type of autism rep when theres so many different ways it affects ppl and - i am not going to go on a rant in an ask jesus christ im so sorry djdhfh) and dealing with some rejection sensitivity dysphroia/rsd?? Bc these are topics that dont really get covered and all fnfnfn its ok if u dont want/cant add this to my req tho im sorry for just randomly springing more details on you dhdhfb also sorry this is really long and wordy and if its hard to understand i tried to write it in a way thatd make sense dnfjf i just wanted to send this for your consideration ok ty! Sjdjfh 💚💚 💚

A/n - Just as a heads up I try to keep my blog as functioning label free as possible cus they lowkey make me uncomfy (don’t worry I didn’t have it in my rules so it's okay!) I’ll explain why they make me uncomfy/ why I hate them in a different post if anyone wants to know why. 

Kita Shinsuke

  This man always has a stim toy. Realistically he probably has a little pouch in his book bag that he carries with him everywhere that is just full of stim items. There’s a stress ball , a fidget cube and a few other things

Whenever you feel dysphoric he will literally remind you about how handsome you are. I mean like stand you in front of the mirror and point out all of his favorite parts of you

Definitely reminds you to be kind to your body and your brain cus they’re doing the best they can

If he has to cancel plans with you he always makes it up to you and tells you that he’d rather spend time with you.

Kita is so understanding and caring. He understands that school and work aren’t really an option for everyone for different reasons and he definitely understands that both are designed for neurotypical people.

Suna Rintaro

Rin keeps an extra pair of headphones on him at all times for if you get overwhelmed 

If you ever mention to him that you’re going to sleep or if he sending you a good night text he always reminds you to take off your binder

Sometimes he wants to hangout with the team and has to turn you down. He knows RSD can make turning down spending time together feel like a kick in the face so he always promises to spend time with you later and tell you he loves you

If you ever have a low spoons + dysphoria type of day he’s coming over and spending time with you in bed. He’s bringing some of your favorite snacks/drinks/food and one of his hoodies that still smell like him. 

His love language is quality time so he probably takes you on a lot of dates. Especially if they have something to do with your special interest or hyper fixation

Miya Osamu

He learns how to cook all of your safe foods just the way you like it.

Every morning you are greeted with a kiss to your temple and a sleepy Osamu grumbling a soft “good morning handsome” to you.

He understands that work isn’t really for you. But, sometimes he’ll take you with him to the onigiri shop with him to keep him company. 

This man would move heaven and earth to see you happy everyday without hesitation. 

He’s super responsive to all boundaries you have. Don’t want to be touched or cuddled a certain way? Okay. Need him to give you space after a meltdown/shutdown or on extremely dysphoria days? No problem.

Miya Atsumu

If you are nonverbal/semi verbal he definitely made you communication cards. He gave them to you for either an anniversary or your birthday and they are super well done. They’re laminated their color coated and they’re just lovely

He’s such a good listener. He could listen to you talk all day and never get tired. Whether it’s you just talking about insecurities while in bed together or him listening to you talk about a hyperfixation/ special interest you know he’s always willing to listen. 

Insecurities who??? Not with Atsumu around. If he is not kissing away your insecurities he’s making you “laugh away the bad vibes”. 

He always reminds you how much he loves you. He literally will not leave for practice until he gets a kiss and tells you he loves you, it’s gotten him in trouble for being late a few times but he always says he’d do it again. (and he always ends up doing it again)

[jui-imouto-chan]

Hi again! Ok so I think I get the Miya twins aging and de-aging thing but I’d be really interested to hear about it more! (Possibly as a continuation with his and Kita’s relationship as well? Kitahina is criminally underrated)

And does Daishou ever come into the story? The au is really good and I honestly would love to hear anything new about it.

Part 11

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Ily thank you for the ask 🥺💕🧡 I did not watch any of the OVA but I will ten billion percent put Daishou in bc Season 4 had him and I’ve kinda really liked him.

(Snake boi,,,, 😳😳 this one got too long to put him in but if I get another request I will write him. He is,,, 👌🏾✌🏾🥺😍)

Tumblr deleted half of what I wrote even though I saved it so yeayyyyy rewriting time 😌🥲

•

“They’re a lot older than they were before! Do foxes usually age this quick?”

Kita held his tongue, observing Hinata ruffle Atsumu’s hair and swipe his thumb along Osamu’s cheek. The twins seemed very content with the contact, although every now and again they’d pass a look along that seemed laced with meaning.

“You guys are adorable though! I hope Natsu still looks this cute when she’s your age!” Hinata’s eyes closed as he grinned at them.

Osamu tracked Hinata’s finger as his face was rubbed, and after thinking for a moment, he glanced at Atsumu and bit Hinata’s thumb.

Everything was still for moment, everyone staring intently at the place where Osamu’s teeth were buried into Hinata’s skin.

“O-Ow!!”

Kita grabbed Osamu by the scruff, opening his mouth to tear into him (in a different way than how he just tore into Hinata’s goddamn thumb), but before he could do so, or even apologize to the redhead, Osamu’s weight increased drastically, his limbs lengthening and proportions adjusting.

Atsumu’s eyes gleamed, taking advantage of the panic to bite Hinata’s other hand, growing to assume the same age as his brother.

“His energy sure is something, huh, ‘Samu!”

Osamu smartly did not respond, Kita’s glare piercing Atsumu the instant he finished speaking. Atsumu gulped audibly, a bit more of the blood seeping into his system and aging him until he was about Kita’s age in appearance.

“Atsumu, you should have found a way to understand by now that your actions have consequences.”

“K-K-Ki-Kita-san???” Atsumu scrambled back and away, bumping into Hinata’s knees, as the ginger had crouched to hold his own arm with tears in his eyes and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Hinata sniffled, Atsumu feeling a guilt like one would get from kicking a wounded puppy—which was not a good feeling to couple with the pure terror one gets from earning Kita’s ire.

“Osamu.”

Said twin froze and began sweating profusely. Despite the increase in size, Kita dangled him the way one would hold a particularly rowdy cat.

He desperately tried to minimize the shiver of his voice and be as formal and thereby responsible as he could, though even as he managed a, “Y-Yes?” he could feel his life start to come to an end.

“I don’t care about nor need your explanation—I know why you did this, but Hinata doesn’t. Explain to him clearly, and then apologize, before I cut out your tongues and take each of your teeth out one-by-one.”

Kita’s threats were rare, but very effective.

Once Kita released Osamu’s collar, the twins scooted close to one another on the ground, whispering back and forth with their skin significantly paler than it was before. Eventually, after some muttering and a very pointed glare from Kita, the two composed themselves, sitting on their heels. Osamu coughed, earning Hinata’s watery gaze and faltering slightly.

“Um. So. I’m Miya Osamu, that’s Atsumu.”

“Hinata Shoyo. Nice to meet you,” Hinata murmured, bowing his head, cheeks a bit puffed up. Kita approached him to place a hand on his head.

“We used to be guardians of a shrine nearby here, but it fell into ruin as people stopped coming by and taking care of it.” Atsumu began.

“People would only come by during celebrations. We’d perform during festivals, and we required everyone to be completely silent, or else the performance would be ruined. As we’d do our dances on opposite sides of the mountain where the shrines were, we’d be offering mana to the forest to keep it flourishing.”

“That’s so cool!” Hinata piped, although he quickly stifled his impressed exclamations as Kita pet his hair.

“Usually after the performance, we’d be low on mana, but we’d hide in the woods for a little bit until we were back to normal—”

“—But people got greedy. They knew we were already weaker without offerings being made to the shrine, and they were ready to take advantage of our decrease in mana.”

“Kita-san’s grandmother would give us offerings and come to every performance at the festivals. Kita-san joined her, of course, but one year, she brought along some girls in hopes to help him find a bride—”

“—even though he was like, twelve!”

Hinata gasped and looked up at the silverette, seemingly in awe. “Kita-san, you had game from a young age?!”

“I don’t know, do I have ‘game’ now?”

The redhead struggled to answer, especially with the amusement dancing in Kita’s eyes.

Atsumu cut in before Hinata could embarrass himself, “Those stupid girls decided to be annoying during my performance, and ended up distracting me. Usually with the dance, we can steadily feed the forest mana and influence how much leaves us. Since it was interrupted—”

“'Tsumu lost a lot of mana, and I had to try to compensate it. Kita-san’s grandma tried to help me, but 'Tsumu was grabbed by some adults before Kita-san could get to him. When they went into the forest, I got away from Kita-san’s grandma to find them.”

“They sealed most of our power, but Kita-san managed to interrupt the ritual before they could force us into a contract. Kita-san was so angry, it was like watching the beast from Naruto.”

“Oh, the Nine-Tails!” Osamu corrected.

“Didn’t it have a name? Kuroomi or something??”

“Ah, Kurama!” Hinata blurted.

“Yeah, that!” The twins affirmed, snapping and pointing—or were those finger guns?

“He totally looked like Kurama when he was beating the shit out of those dudes!”

“I think he only turned back when his grandma started calling for him.”

“So, let me get this straight—”

Osamu coughed, “—Good luck with that—”

“—Kita-san can turn into a super gigantic awesome fox monster and you two keep getting younger? Except for when you get mana?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Hinata practically had stars in his eyes.

“We know it’s selfish to ask this of you after we, uh, bit you...”

“But, Shoyo-kun....”

The twins bowed, foreheads touching the floor. “Please form a contract with us.”

“...Eh?”

•

•• Part 11 of (?) ••

• A lot of this is influenced by Natsume Yuujinchou to some extent and I am not sorry. Also ykno how I reblogged Kindaichi with his hair down? I did so while looking for some KinHina, and now I’m a little tempted to write smthn. Or maybe KuniHina. Or literally anyone with Hinata because when I say hinata harem I mean Hinata HAREM. •

•• Send Asks for more! Feel free to ask about characters and send Headcanons! Or if u wanna just talk Haikyuu/ships, I’m good with that too! :) and for other parts, search the “summoner au” tag on my blog and you’ll find em! ••

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[hizashiiis]

Hello, Friends.

This is Katie (@/paramountives) trying the whole writing blog thing one more time. I’ll be posting my normal content (so like not dark content) here. Even though it’s very My Hero centric, I’m still writing for Haikyuu. I’ll never abandon my volleyboys, don’t fret. 

I’ll make a carrd and a pinned post soon, but this will serve as that post until I can get something more permanent up. I’m not very tech-savvy lol. 

If you want to request something, you are welcome to do so! I don’t really have anything to write, and I’m just coming out of a bit of a block, so I’d love to take your requests. It may take me a little while to write them, though. 

I write for:

✧ Haikyuu, including:

- Pretty much all of Karasuno

- Nekoma (Lev, Kenma, Kuroo, and Yaku)

- Fukurodani (Bokuto and Akaashi)

- Inarizaki (Kita, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna)

- Seijoh (OIKAWA WHO I LOVE AND ADORE, Iwa, Mattsun, Makki, Kunimi, Kindaichi)

- Others (Sakusa, Ukai, Takeda)

- Pairings if u ask nicely

✧ My Hero Academia, including

- Class 1-A (namely Izuku, Bakugo, Best Boy Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero (tentatively, as he’s not like, my fave), MINA AAAA LOVE HER, Momo, Jirou, IIDA (if we don’t start giving him more love I will Lose It.), Ururaka, TSUYU FREAKIN ASUI, Todoroki, and Tokoyami)

- Teachers (All three, meaning best boys Aizawa, Present Mic, and Mr I AM HERE)

- Pro Heroes (HAWKS PLSSS, Midnight, idk whoever u like but not Endeavor bc fuck that bitch.)

- Villains (Mainly just Dabi, but if one of u wants Toga or Shigaraki, I might budge)

- Pairings if you ask nicely

✧ Ouran (tentatively but I do think it needs more fic. So.)

- Anyone EXCEPT: The Lobelia gals, Honey, or Renge. Don’t come after my head abt Renge I just think she’s really annoying. 

OK THATS ALL sorry for rambling. Love u guys. Tagging a few of my close friends hehe. @psssh-its-pastel @ghosty-kyouii @imo-chan-imagines @im-all-out-of-peaches

pls ignore this if u dont care ok bye

[makakalimutin]

THE 2019 YEAR END ACCOMPLISHMENT REPORT

https://youtu.be/L8VyAzDA5so

It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age.

Yung unang plano ko dyan dapat powerpoint presentation eh HAHAHAHAHAHA tsaka pang-malakasan na yung mga title natin ngayon mumsh. So ayun po ano, welcome to my first ever vlog! De joke nga lang, collage lang kasi yan. Pero ipupush ko sa 2020 na thru videos na ako magpopost (waht). Hindi talaga kasi ako makuda sa harap ng camera so buhay na buhay pa rin itong blog na to. Pero anyway, mas mabuti kung panonoorin mo muna yung video bago magproceed sa entry na ito.

Accomplishments

Are we out of the woods yet? Last year puro iyak lang ang ginawa ko. O ngayon medyo nagkaroon na ng kwenta ang buhay ko (finally, I'm free!) Kung nakita mo naman yung video ko haha ayun, ang biggest accomplishment ko na siguro yung trabaho ko ngayon, at yung mga lugar na napuntahan ko. Kung babalikan mo yung mga posts ko dati, sinasabi ko lang na hala sana balang araw makapagtravel ako bla bla, it was a dream come true. Buong buhay ko nasa Cavite lang ako tapos hindi naman ako pinapayagan lumabas at magpunta sa mga ganitong lugar. Ganon pala ata pag may trabaho ka na haha hindi ka na pagbabawalan no.

Ang daming nasayang na panahon nitong mga nakaraang taon, kung nagset lang ako ng tama eh di sana mas okay yung kinalalagyan ko ngayon. Ayan kasi, wala namang kwenta yung mga pinaggagagagawa ko at mga pangyayari noon.

Character Development

Looking back to my previous years, masasabi kong walang kwenta pa rin yung buhay ko hahahahaha charot. Kung makikita mo naman, major shift sa buhay ko yung paglipat ko ng trabaho. Napalaban ng bongga yung kakayahan ko. Kinukuwestiyon ko araw-araw yung sarili ko kung talaga bang writer ako? Kasi hindi eh. Kahit patapos na ang taon na to, nangangapa pa rin ako sa mundong ginagalawan ko ngayon. Hala ang bobo ko, hindi pala talaga ako marunong magsulat. Ang blog na to ang dahilan kaya ako natanggap sa trabahong ito, nag-expect sila sakin na I'm good at this pero hindi pala talaga. Ilang beses ko nang iniyakan to kasi blanko ang utak ko, walang pumapasok sa isip ko. Paano ko tatapusin ito. Isa lang yon sa major struggles ko this year, na hindi lang pala ako sa climate change dapat nag-aadapt.

- Dati lagi akong naka shirt at pants, ngayon puro dress at palda na. Naalala ko nung nag EK kami, nagsusuot pa ako ng stockings nun kasi para hindi halata na mabalbon ako. Pero this year ko lang inembrace yung flaws ko wahaha na dedma na kahit makita ng iba, kasi wala namang pumapansin? Ako lang din ang insecure sarili ko.

- Dati hindi ako makangiti sa mga picture kasi ayokong nakikita yung ngipin ko. Ngayon dedma na lang din, kasi tinanggap ko na yung kapangitan ko? Char. Hindi na ako masyado nacoconscious sa kung ano yung tingin ko kaya kahit mukha akong patapon araw araw, okay lang nu.

Ayun, iyakin pa rin ako. Minsan may mga sadboi moments posts pa rin ako. Ilang beses ko na rin sinabing napapagod na ako. Pagod na akong mapagod para sa iba. Hanggang ngayon nakakaramdam pa rin ako ng anxiety pag gumigising ako sa umaga.

Pero alam mo, at least hindi na katulad dati na konting kibot lang, iiyakan ko agad. I have a friend na nasa ganong sitwasyon ngayon and nakikita ko yung sarili ko sa kanya a year ago. Sinabi ko sa kanya na sana maibalik yung ngiting nawala sa kanya. Ang hirap kasi hanggang ngayon yung ngiting ninakaw na yon sakin, hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin naibabalik. Kaya lagi kong sinasabi sa lahat ng posts ko na - whatever happens to me, hinding-hindi na ako magiging masaya.

Toxic Trait

Last year naalala mo, na-diagnosed ako na may Hyperthyroidism. Buti nga ngayon, hindi na gaano, pero ganon pa rin, may mga araw na ang lakas ko kumain, pero nilalabas ko rin agad. May mga araw pa rin na pag sobrang lugmok ako eh hindi na naman ako nagugutom. Pero ngayon, sobra ko pa ring tinitipid yung sarili ko. Hindi ako kumakain pag alam kong mapapagastos ako para sa iba.

At, sa lahat ng mga nangyaring magaganda ngayong taon sa buhay ko, ay hindi ako masaya.

Satisfaction

Naalala mo nung pinost ko nung taong 2016 ito: The Philosophy of Contentment. Eto yung proposal ko sa Philosophy class namin. Walang taong nakukuntento. Lahat tayo may desires para ma-develop yung well-being natin. Hindi yung ok ka nang hindi umalis sa loophole ng paulit-ulit na routine ng buhay.

Eh ako? Ano bang problema ko?

Hindi ako pinanganak para lang mag-aral > magtrabaho > magpamilya > at mamamatay. I want to do/achieve something na makabuluhan, hindi yung nag exist ka lang para sa wala. O e ano ngang problema ko?

Hindi ko na kayang maging masaya. Opo. Kaya lagi ako nagpopost dito sa blog ng mga achievements ko hindi para magyabang, kundi ipamukha sa sarili ko na eto na, eto na yung mga pinangarap mo noon, nasa harap mo na, bakit hindi ka pa rin masaya?

Self-actualization. Alam mo yung Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?

I-incorporate ko na rin siya sa post ko para magets mo. Meron tayong basic needs na sa kabutihang-palad ay napupunan ko na. Yung psychological needs ay ok naman din, pero alam mo kung ano yung nakakapagpa-bother sakin lagi? Yung pinakatuktok ng triangulong ito. Hindi ko ma-achieve yung full potential ko, kasi, di ko alam. Parang may kulang.

Ito yung void na hindi mapupunan ng kahit ano. Nagkajowa ako, nakunsumi lang ako, hindi masaya. Nagkapera ako, hindi ako masaya. Nakapaggala ako, nung umuwi ako hindi na ako masaya. Napunta na ako sa iba’t-ibang church kasi baka kulang lang ako sa faith, pero hindi, hindi pa rin ako masaya.

Hindi ako marunong makuntento. Hindi sa 'gahaman' or naghahangad pa ako ng mas higit sa pangangailangan ko. Pero hindi ko na kayang maging masaya sa kung anong meron ako ngayon. Wait lang pang-ilang beses ko na to sinabi?

2017 nung grumaduate ako, punung-puno ng pangarap. 2 years after, wala na akong motivation. You mean goals? Yung sana after a certain period of time gusto ko makapagpundar na ako ng ganito ganun, magtatayo na ako ng ganitong business, nawala yung long-term goals ko. Asan na? Bumabangon ako na walang ganap. Hala sana ma-gets mo ko, yung fuel ng passion? Nasaan na? Tinamad na akong mag-aim pa ng mas mataas. Parang ako na yung tipikal na manggagawa na magtatrabaho na lang para sumahod, tas bigay kay ganito, kay ganun, tapos ako wala naman akong nafufulfill sa sarili ko. Hindi nila kasalanan. Ako mismo ang may problema. Wala akong balak para sa sarili ko at sa future ko. Pero joke lang, nagpost ako nung nakaraan na pag nagkajowa na ako, gusto ko pakasalan na ako agad (pero hindi mag-aanak), wala lang, baka sakali lang magkaroon ulit ako ng life goals. O di ba, alam mo di ba sinabi ko noon, hindi ako pinanganak para maging housewife. Eh ano to?

I started becoming the person I never wanted to be. Ang normie ko na. Kaya minumulto ako ng old self ko na hindi na daw ako honest sa sarili ko. May mga bagay akong nagawa at ginagawa beyond my moral values (playing with fire, dancing with a stranger). I become reckless. Ang sama na ng ugali ko na tipong when something inconvenient happens to her, ang masasabi ko lang, "Karma mo yan." Di ako to. Anong nangyari sayo Shaira?

I don't make plans. I am spontaneous. Kasi nga lahat ng pinlano ko para sa sarili ko, para sa amin char, naging drawing na lang. So ngayon, go with the flow na lang. Come what may. Kasi buti pa yung mga biglaang ganap nangyayari. Biglaang pagreresign, biglaang gastos. Ganun. Kaya tama na ang pagtatanong mo sakin kung anong plano ko. Kasi wala talagang pumapasok sa utak ko ngayon.

"Hindi ka tumanggap ng pension mula sa SSS for more than 10 years para lang maging walang kwenta sa lipunan. Hindi ka nag-aral ng apat na taon sa kolehiyo para lang maging low life peasant. You made this on your own. We've come this far. Wag ka nang bumaba doon sa level nila."

Eto ba yung tinatawag nilang existential crisis? So ano, dapat nga bang makuntento ako at maging masaya or wag makuntento and strive for more?

Lessons Learned

"We got distracted and caught up in unnecessary things sometimes and we forget that we are in a process and having things not working out is also a part of it."

Dati lagi natin sinasabi na "Pagdating ng bagong taon, magbabago na ako bla bla", pero isa lang din yan sa mga pangakong laging napapako haha. I've learned that kung gusto mo magbago, don't wait for a specific time at moment, kasi lagi lang nauurong at nauurong yan. Gusto mo nga magbago pero you keep doing the same old shit, what's the sense? You can't expect new beginnings if you keep holding on to old habits. Sabi nga, "If you want something, go get it now. Right now is the start of the rest of your future."

You get what you tolerate. Biggest blessing ko this year is I got people who loved me even at my most unlovable chapter. Kita mo naman last year napaka-patapon ko. Pero na-redempt ko yung sarili ko and now I'm here where I belong, thanks to you 💕. Yung kayang sabayan yung level of understanding mo sa mga bagay-bagay at hindi yung sasabihan ka na "masyado ka kasing matalino" "ayaw mo magpatalo" dahil lang sa ineexpress mo yung sarili mo. Instead na magsorry eh they will make you feel bad pa about it. Magrereflect pala talaga sayo kapag positive yung impact ng isang tao. You'll glow differently. Kaya always surround yourself with positive at masisipag na tao, para hindi ka na mahila pa pababa. Tsaka ikaw na rin mismo mahihiya na yung mga tao sa paligid mo ganon tas ikaw tatamad tamad pa rin, kusa ka na lang magsstep up. Kaya ayun ate girl, tigilan mo na ang pagtolerate sa mga bagay na di mo naman deserve. Tapos na tayo sa chapter ng white lies at kunsumisyon.

- Having the right one will help you reach goals you never dreamed of achieving.

- Not everyone will enjoy watching you succeed.

- Some people are there for you but only for favors. The more capable you are, the more users you attract.

Strategic directions for 2020.

A whole new decade is starting. This is the decade that most of us are going to get married or have kids, etc. We're about to enter the very beginning of a whole new chunk of our lives.

Imagine how many people we will meet and how much we're going to mature and how many people we may lose and how much the world is going to change everything we think about daily, like career or love, it will be probably be settled by then.

Anong plano ko for next year? Again. WALA. Kung matutuloy na ba yung printing shop business ko? Kung makakapag enroll na ako for grad school? Kung lilipat na naman ako ng trabaho? Kung matutuloy yung #Japan2020 sa April? Kung mag-aasawa na ba ako? Who knows? Again, as I said earlier, nothing excites me anymore.

Sa nakalipas na pitong taon ay naging saksi ang blog na to sa lahat ng aking pakikibaka sa buhay, lahat ng mga pinagdaanan ko, lahat ng mga pagbabagong nangyari, mga rason ng pagngiti at pag-iyak ko, at progress and development. Salamat sa patuloy na pagsubaybay. Ilang beses na rin akong nademotivate na magsulat, ilang buwan din akong nagla-lie low.

But still here we are. Sa loob ng isang taon ay napakarami na ring nagbago sa buhay ko, yung ibang kaganapan ay hindi pa rin at hindi ko na naisulat dito.

Pasensya na kung medyo mayabang ang dating ko lately, kailangan ko iboost yung ego ko kasi palagi akong nadadown sa sarili ko, at heto ang defense mechanism ko.

If ever this will be my last year, though lagi ko sinasabi na makakalimutan nyo rin naman ako/eto eventually, sana may maiwan akong magandang alaala.

"When a woman is loved the right way, she becomes the best version of herself." I'm happy that I ended this year with less pain than I had at the beginning of the year. I was lost but now I'm glad that I'm on the right path.

Thank you for staying with me this 2019.

Look how far we've come.

Let's make more memories ngayong 2020.

- Love, Shaira Mae ✨💕

[dismalzelenka]

About Me tag game!

I got tagged by @kunstpause! Thank you, my friend!

1: Why did you choose your url?

I decided around 20...14? 15? Right around when I transitioned, I think. Anyway I decided that with my real life name change, I wanted to reinvent myself in fandom spaces. Which, at the time, was mostly just my fanfiction dot net account. So I decided to just make a new one, which meant coming up with a new name, and I literally didn't think about that until I was sitting at the account creation window like SHIT NOW WHAT.

So there I was glancing around frantically for inspiration. And the pro choir I was in at the time was doing a Lent series featuring the Jan Dismas Zelenka Miserere in D minor. Zelenka is one of my favorite Baroque composers, and my potato brain was like hahah Dismas sounds like Dismal and THAT PIECE DO BE DISMAL so I cackled at my stupid pun and typed dismalzelenka into the username box and haven't looked back since.

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

@projectdizposition is my hilariously inactive barely put together blog I made in a hypomania fueled frenzy a few years ago when I was like I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO PRACTICE COMPOSING MORE USING FAN MATERIAL and then did like two short pieces and never touched it again. I might start posting the fandom covers I do on there, but for now it's kind of dead so don't look bahaha

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

I genuinely do not remember. I think I made one back in 2012 and never got on it and forgot both the username and password? I did a lot of drugs back then during my idiotic and misspent youth so my memories are. Woof. Not clear. I made a transition related blog in 2014, and I think I deactivated it for trauma reasons. Maybe deleted it. I don't really remember that either.

The current one has been around since I catapulted myself into the Dragon Age fandom in December of 2017. I've been a brightly burning trash heap ever since. 😊

4: Do you have a queue tag?

I tried to but I could never keep in my memory what it was and kept having to go back to old posts to remind myself and eventually just gave up lmaooo

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

So I could wake up every morning and lovingly gaze upon pictures of Anders. I'm a trash can trash man and I own this, ok?

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I recently updated all of my fandom pictures to be of Blitzkrieg Bop, my Very Photogenic Cat who loves to pose for pictures and is very good at it. Purely because I felt like it.

7: Why did you choose your header?

hahahaha it was a ridiculous Skyrim mod glitch and it just so perfectly encapsulated my general mood and also the constant mood of the character in question that I had to make it public.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

A Solstice blessing I posted around Yule really blew up. I didn't expect people to like it so much but it made me happy to know it brought joy to so many people. The next highest one is my "the Amells are a walking shitpost" meta post 😂

9: How many mutuals do you have?

Gonna be honest, I don't even know how to start looking for this information.

10: How many followers do you have?

1057, but I never bother going through for porn and spambots so the actual count is probably much lower. I can never be arsed to care enough to put forth the effort of cleaning it up.

11: How many people do you follow?

878? I don't ever go through that either. I probably should soon, but. 🙈 It sounds very stressful.

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

I am in fact a walking shitpost. Shitposts tumble forth from my void on a daily basis. Sometimes I fear it is the only language I speak with any measure of fluency.

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

Probably too much.

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Y'all, listen. I am a Grade A WEENIE. I am a walking Pisces stereotype. I hate confrontation with a burning passion. If someone tries to start a fight with me, I make one (1) attempt at a civil conversation and then I block, because my mental health is not worth that shit. I have to yell at people in real life enough for work things, I do not have the energy for it in fandom too. Please be nice to me. I am fragile. 🥺

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Please Do Not. I hate this shit. Why does anyone think guilt tripping someone into reposting their content is going to do any bit of good in this world?

16: Do you like tag games?

I am a cat, and tag games are my catnip. Tag me in literally anything.

17: Do you like ask games?

I do! As you have probably surmised at this point, I am a Very Wordy Boy. Especially when I get to talk about my characters. I'm like Maes Hughes with the photos of his family in his wallet. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILDREN TODAY? That's me. Let me show you my children.

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have a crush on several of you motherfuckers. Stop being so goddamn attractive and cute. It's woefully distracting and I'm probably in love with you.

I have no idea who to tag, because from what I've seen just about everyone who I could tag has already been tagged so I'm just throwing my usual tag list on here and hoping it catches the very specific intersection of people who both haven't yet been tagged and would like to do this. Feel 100% free to ignore it if this sort of thing does not appeal to you. I love you pls don't hate me I am Very Scattered today. 🥺

@laraslandlockedblues @ladymdc @sasshole-for-rent @dalish-rogue @hollyand-writes @charlatron @midnightprelude @noire-pandora @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold @queen-kass-the-writer @a-shakespearean-in-paris @blarfkey @wardenari @jentrevellan @decimdraws @zuendwinkel @becauseanders @ashalle-art @hobo-apostate @simper-fi @kagetsukai @schoute @catherea @jarakrisafis @musetta3 @sharkapologists @ellie-effie @morganlefaye79 @kittynomsdeplume @inquisitoracorn @kita-lavellan @silvanils @barbex @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul @lunar-shards @corylion @nivenor-krosis

[dinakaplan]

Friday Favorites – Our newest fur-addition & more! ;]

Hello my friends!! Gosh…where does time go!? Already Spring… (yet we still have snow on the ground). Gotta love the East Coast! ;]

It’s true — I’ve been a little MIA on social media & blogging lately….but for good reason.

I have a new lady in my life & her name is Kita (#kitacakes)! Anddd apparently it’s National Puppy Day!? Perfect timing.

My heart is so full … we’ve adopted an absolute sweetheart, with long legs like her mama, that has already changed our lives in so many ways.

This little girl was found on the streets of Mississippi as a young pup. Thanks to some awesome support of being approved for an emotional support animal where we live & the non-profit @canine_commitment, was fostered & cared for before finding her way to us in perfect timing.

They, at first, said she was a boxer & beagle mix but the vet thinks beagle & some kind of hound mix? I’d love to find out!

She also loves broccoli like her mama ;]

I figured I’d put her first 1) because she’s adorable & 2) you’ll be seeing her in the background of my pictures now and you may have wondered who she was ;] <3 more to come on her! xo

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So let’s get to some of my other favorites over this last month, shall we?!

1) NOW FOODS new Organic Plant Protein!

Okkkkk this may be one of my TOP choices from NOW. I lean towards plant proteins as my daily protein shakes and these did not disappoint.

Kita obviously wishes that she could have some too ;]

2)  Munk Pack Protein Cookies & Oatmeal Squeeze Packs

Ok y’all these are SO good. There are a ton of different protein cookie options out there but I love that these are plant based! They are super moist and delish.

Plus, look at those chunks! ;]

Munk Pack also sent me their Oatmeal Fruit Squeeze’s which are honestly perfect for someone like me who is on the go and may need a “meal” or snack in between a workout, a client, and then a group class.

3) Carrington Organic Milled Flax

I’ve been a fan of flax for years due to it’s high omega & fiber content. I love adding it in recipes or oatmeal!

Funny story — I found a killer magic bar recipe from BakeToBeFit’s newsletter (she’s amazing!) and I needed flax…but was out….UNTIL I remembered that Carrington sent me over these samples & they saved the day! ;]

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4) Nuzest Clean Lean Protein Bars

Kita was REAL interested in these ;] can you tell?

My friends at Nuzest sent me their new Clean Lean Protein Bars & they are great!

The week we got Kita…I was running around like crazy just getting used to having a new pup and getting her into the vet, etc. so these SAVED ME! I’m pretty sure I finished everything they sent me within a week.

If you’re looking for a good-tasting, plant based protein bar — these would be a perfect go-to!

Code “powercakes” gets you a discount on their site!

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5) Monthly BUFFBOXX lovin’!

Y’all know I love my BUFFBOXX monthly boxes! It’s like a surprise present each month where you get new eats, performance products, & under armour apparel.

This month we got Good Karma Flax Milk, Re-play hydration, Per4m Power Tubes (love these for training and with my athletes!), & some awesome Under Armour shorts (I LOVE their shorts in the summer!).

You can use code “POWERCAKES” at checkout for a discount!

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7) NEW Enlightened Ice Cream Flavors!

Flavors like Movie Night, Glazed Donut, Cookies N’ Cream, S’mores, & French Toast were sent to my doorstep and I was pumped!

My personal FAVORITE was the Cookies N’ Cream. I’m not a huge fan of “buttery” flavors like in the Movie Night but it wasn’t bad. I would rate these about 8/10 on flavor.

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  There you have it y’all! Some of my current favorites! ;]

Thank you for always being so patient with me on my blogging journey — I definitely “go with the flow” of my life & that’s what works for me!

Have an awesome weekend & be true to you,

xo Kasey

  [Read More ...] http://www.powercakes.net/ffkita/