#MY LITTLE BROTHER !!!!

[medibunni]

drew this for my lil bro a while ago (he is a big fan of scout)

[fuji09]

Y'all look how handsome my little brother looks! He's going to prom with his girlfriend and I wish I could have been there in person to take pics. I still can't believe he's already 16.

The first 2 pics my mom sent me and the last 2 pics he posted on Instagram.

[forever-deep-below-creation]

hello tumblr id like to share with you some of my favourite pages from hit instructive listing comic “101 ways to use an anvil” by my little brother.

if you dont like his comedy im gonna fight you and your mum.

hes hilarious to me and also a very successful among us comic writer on the side

[coffeecollegechronicles]

Eid Mubarak (12.04.2024)

[saraali-19]

Nightmaretober: day 16 trick or treating

The reason why I kill myself for laughter, it's because of my brother. My bro is wearing as a clown

Also I dressed up as flippy from htf

[showtelll]

[blehrawr]

My dad, my younger brother and I are going to buy bread but in reality we are going to sneakily watch the Christmas festival they are doing in the park.

[taonpest]

It do be like that sometimes

[bee-in-a-box]

I'm so fucking sick to my stomach. My entire family "stands with Israel"

[naamahdarling]

.

[madame-mongoose]

Nobody talk to me unless it's about Chai from Hi-Fi Rush btw

[strangerfigs]

do i love mike wheeler? of course? will i relentlessly make fun of him? definitely

[trumpetnista]

Goodbye, Daddy. With love from Cookie.

August 3rd 1964 - August 15th 2023

As I mentioned a few journal entries ago, my dad had been sick and bedbound due to a bedsore that became an open wound. That open wound became septic down to the bone. While there were signs of it healing, his body could no longer take the stress it was under. The pain he was in was too intense. There was nothing more that could be done to help him medically. After discussing things with all of us, Dad was put into hospice care on the 8th. The IV drip was removed and he was put on a morphine/diluadid regimen to reduce his pain and aid his departure. Even after that, he kept fighting to stay with us. He didn't want to leave us. I know that in my soul but in the end? Loving someone is knowing when to let them go. We had to let him go so he could depart in peace, so he could be Free and out of agony.

This morning, at 2:30AM, he took his last breath.

My mom, my Aunt Paris, my younger brother, and myself were there. My big sister @dynamicspacebabe and her husband joined us shortly afterwards. Our whole family and several of his friends visited over the weekend and yesterday because we all knew that it would be soon. His kidneys had begun to fail. His brain was shutting down. He was no longer able to eat, drink, speak and during his last 48 hours, see us despite his eyes being open.

He could still hear us, though.

My mother had been playing music for him the whole time but in his last 48 hours, I took over as the DJ. Songs that he loved, songs from my childhood kept playing, and each one was deeply comforting, even the ones that made me sob. Eventually, I began singing to him, surprising everyone. I typically am not one to sing in public, despite having a pretty good voice, but I wanted him to hear me as much as possible. I wanted to let him know that I was still with him, even though I no longer had any words to say other that I loved him and that I would always be his Cookie.

His nickname for me happened on my birthday. According to the story, when I arrived, I looked like just like a gingerbread cookie. My mother's adopted father wanted to call me Pumpkin but that was promptly shut down. Too many stories about people getting into trouble involved someone known as Pumpkin, at least according to him, which was actually pretty accurate given that we lived in Gary, Indiana at the time. So, Cookie it was and Cookie it stayed. He was the only one who was allowed to call me Cookie. Cookie, it will remain for the rest of my life.

I know that I mentioned that I had conflicted feelings towards him. I know that I said that I was angry at him for his behavior towards me and my siblings as a parent in the past/present. I still have those feelings but they are outweighed by love. It was like that before he passed away and it will definitely be going forward. I won't pretend that it never happened. I won't rewrite history. I can't but I can have nuance. I can have balance. I can forgive but not forget. I can have empathy, not just for him but for my Mom.

Mom and Dad met when they at U of M in their late teens. They were together for 40 years. They were best friends and now, she's by herself for the first time since before they met. She still has us. She has her mother and siblings. She still has her true friends but I am terrified that we will lose her, too. Diane and I gave her resources to keep her here. Diane gave her the Suicide Prevention Hotline number and I told her how to use the crisis line at Easterseals, which I've been using frequently since the 8th. I also figured out how to check into a mental ward that's closer to home, not just for her but for myself.

I'm still afraid to be in a ward by myself but I have to be realistic. I have faced tragedy many times in my life. My family has faced tragedy many times but nothing on this level. Every time we've been through hell, Dad was always there. He supported us all as best as he could but this time? He is the tragedy and what makes things worse?

This could've and should've been avoided.

The nursing home who neglected my Daddy, murdered him. It's as if they pointed a fucking gun at him and shot him point blank. It wasn't congestive heart failure or diabetes that took him away. It was them.

If it wasn't for their callousness, their lack of professionalism, their utter contempt for the people in their care? He would still be with us.

And my father isn't the only victim. Every time we named the facility, people recognized it and reacted with sadness/horror. I am well aware that there are many other nursing homes just like the one who murdered my Daddy. I am well aware that it's a systemic problem through the United States and globally. I get it. I've been a Caregiver for over a decade. I have no choice but to get it.

That being said, I'm making it my mission to take down the nursing home and every person inside of it who took my Daddy away from me. I want to make sure that no one else will lose their loved one to them. I want to hit them where it hurts the most: in their wallet and I want to expose their shitty reputation to the masses.

It won't bring him back. It won't restore him to the man he was before all hell broke loose. It won't undo the pain and trauma we've gone through since late February-early March. It won't and can't do any of that but having a place to target, having people to blame for this makes the situation better. Having a mission after tragedy adds to the motivation to stay alive, at least to me. Maybe it's because I watched too much Batman growing up or maybe it's just me being spiteful but I'll take it.

I am heartbroken but not spirit broken. I can't speak for the rest of my family members but I know that I will survive this. I have the coping mechanisms, the support system, and most of all, I have a promise to keep.

Before cancer stole my Bunny, my Sara Elizabeth from all of us, she made me promise two things: she made me promise that she would not die alone in a hospital and she made me promise that after she was Gone, I would do my best to be happy and to live well.

I keep my promises and the promise I made to Sara will be double downed on for my Daddy.

All he wanted was for all of us to be safe. All he wanted was for all of us to be happy. He adored his family and he showed it as best as he could. He did the best that he could and flaws and all? He was a good man. He was a good husband. He was a good father. He was a good friend.

Reginald Thomas Dixon was a good man.

He was my Daddy.

And I will always, always be his Cookie.

I love you, Daddy.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you and we will make the pieces of shit who hurt you, who murdered you pay for it.

I no longer believe in the doctrine that I was taught but I do still believe in an afterlife. I do believe that you are at peace and I believe that you are with our Bunny. Please hug her for me.

I sang one of your favorite Donny Hathaway songs after you were released from the prison your body became. I sang that Someday We'll All Be Free and your Someday has come.

Smile, Daddy. You're Free.

With all the love in my heart, Cookie.

[moonsbean]

Learning that it was abuse that you grew up with years after they’ve recovered from that behavior is hard. I’m happy he has a better life than I did but why did you hate me so much? I was just a kid.

[little-pondhead]

Have some incredibly specific memes.

[wibble-wobbegong]

“um, well, my name’s mike, short for michael. maybe we can call you el, short for eleven!! :D um, well- ok. night, el!”

i’m fucking sobbing he’s such a sweetie a little guy a tiny dude i need to pick him up and spin him around and take him to the arcade and play catch with him and