#Mabel and dipper have to grapple with the horrors but the horrors have to grapple with them

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Okay now I'm curious about your TMA/Gravity Falls crossover. Is it like the cast of TMA get a cartoony summer adventure or is it like the cast of Gravity Falls have to deal with The Horrors? Or is it something else?

See this fic enchants me because it’s sort of both. One of the Rules of the fic is that the characters absolutely must maintain the conventions of their genre. So it’s the TMA universe and all of its grimdark cosmic horror grappling with the metaphysically displaced Mystery Twins, who operate on cartoon logic.

So it’s a lot of:

Elias: As you can see, you are all quite trapped. Under the contract, you cannot quit and you cannot kill me, so I suggest you all--

Mabel and Dipper: *exchange a look*

Dipper, stonefaced: *shrinks him with the size changing gem*

Mabel: *picks him up by his blazer and puts him in a jar*

The TMA crew: *staring*

Dipper, clapping once: so that's him handled.

Tim, completely broken, having to sit down: what

Dipper: I mean he can't do his evil machinations when he's like two inches tall in a jar and he's not going to die either so--oh uh Mabel? You put holes in that jar right?

Mabel, already going through Elias’s wallet and pocketing the cash: I can't be expected to think of everything Dipper

Dipper: I'm sure he's fine there, there was some air to start with and--we'll add holes. We'll add some holes

[tiredandoptimistic]

The thing I can't get over is how Ford just fails to grapple with the enormity of Stan's thirty year lie. He's angry at Stan for taking over his life, which is fair, but also means that he can't see all the ways in which Stan made it his own. Like him or not, everyone in town is familiar with Stan Pines. He's fully established himself as a part of the community, and on top of that he's been running a successful business and teaching himself interdimensional physics. Ford writes in Journal 3 that "it's hard to believe the parents would trust these kids with Stanley; they clearly thought he was ME!" because he can't grasp the fact that, to Mr. and Mrs. Pines, there's only ever been one "Uncle Stanford," and he's the wacky old conman who fought off his brother to hold the newborn Dipper and Mabel just a little longer.

I'm saying this because I love Stan and thinks he deserves credit for all the ways he's pulled his life together, but also because I love Ford and need to talk about the existential horror of having your whole ass identity literally taken from you. He can't accept that Stan could be seen as a responsible guardian, but what's even worse is that "Stanford Pines" is beloved not through Ford's merits but Stan's. He left so little impact on his town and on his family that Stan could completely take over without anyone noticing. Shermie is his fucking brother, and he couldn't tell the difference because both twins were equally absent from his life.

On the flip side, Stan finally got to settle down and succeed at life, to do all the things his dad said he couldn't; but he only escaped his role of "the screwup twin" by literally taking over the identity of "the successful twin." No matter what Stan did, how reconnected with his family, it was always as someone else. Stanford could do it all, but first Stanley had to die.

I feel like this got a little depressing, but what I love about the Stans is that their story is fundamentally about hope and possibility. They may have both spent their twenties fucking around and finding out, but the story didn't end with the darkest hour. They've got time to be a family, to get to know the Pines' and the town of Gravity Falls as themselves. I adore the little detail at the end of Weirdmageddon, when Shandra Jimenez says "local hero, Stanley Pines" in her broadcast, because it proves that they're both finally getting the credit they deserve under their own names. Stanley and Stanford, distinct yet united.

[supernatural--falls]

Chapter 1: Beginnings

A/N: There is no dialogue in this chapter because this is a set-up chapter, this is giving backstory and kinda forming the plot. There will be dialogue and character interaction in the future chapters dw

Mabel hadn’t expected Dipper to actually stay behind. Sure, she’d said it was okay, but she kinda thought that the whole Weirdamaggedon thing would have turned him off from it. And then, when that failed, she thought for sure that their parents would say no. But for some inexplicable reason they said yes. (It would be easier to deal with the divorce with only one child at home, but how was she supposed to know that?) She held out hope that Dipper would say he was joking at the last minute and get on the bus with her, but no. Instead, she got on the bus alone, and watched as Dipper faded into oblivion. 

Life back at Piedmont was…difficult, to say the least. Dealing with her parents constant arguing alone was hard enough, but that couple with nightmare only a few people in the world could ever hope to understand, dreams of fire raining down and her house crumbling to the ground around her, dreams that she would only ever feel comfortable talking about with one other person who was *supposed* to be right by her side made it so much worse. 

That summer was the worst summer of her life. No friends, her family constantly fighting, her nightmare getting increasingly vivid as Weirdamageendon’s anniversary crept closer. The only bright spot was that Dipper was supposed to come home to celebrate their 14th birthday. 

The only bright spot in her life any more was their “daily” video calls. For the first few months they would call every day, and sometimes even fall asleep with the other on the screen. But as time went on, Dipper kept missing their scheduled times. So they switched to weekly calls. Then monthly. But hey, at least she was gonna be able to see him this summer.

Wrong. 2 days before she was supposed to leave Dipper called her, said they’d found something big in the Arctic and that they wouldn’t be home all summer. She managed to keep the tears at bay until the call ended. 

Except that the day before Dipper emailed her that he wasn’t gonna make it. That's right, not called, emailed. So she cried herself to sleep and refused to leave her room the day of her birthday.

She doesn’t remember much from that day, to be honest. She remembers waking up around noon with the strongest prompting to pack a bag. It took her an hour to roll out of bed but she did it. She threw in DIpper's hat, her journal, her grappling hook, and her (ashamedly) favorite stuffie before throwing herself back on her bed. She remembers waking up in what she though was another nightmare, but turned out to be real life. She remembers the house burning down around her, remembers throwing herself out the window, remembers screaming bloody murder for her parents to get out.

She remembers two men telling her to come with them. For some reason, they feel safe, and so she did. She remembers the taller one, Sam, whispering that they should drop her off at the nearest police station. But they never did. 

Instead she woke up on a couch in a house in the middle of some car graveyard, listened numbly as the two men explained what happened and who they were. 

She knew she could never see Dipper again, not with that thing on her tail. She could never put him in danger like that. So she stayed with them, the Winchesters.  The horrors of Gravity Falls didn’t hold a candle to the things she saw.

She learned a lot of things in the following years. Learned how to stuff shotgun shells with salt, how to kill vamps, how to banish ghosts, and how to do a lot more unsavory things. And she taught them some things too. Taught them that attack glitter was useful(if you made your own using iron flakes and salt), taught them that holy water in a water gun, taught them that pink is a perfectly okay color to fight vamps in.

She learned something else too, from a woman named Jodie they met while trying to stop the apocalypse(still a work in progress). Apparently those 'promptings' shes been having were actually called premonitions. And turns out Ma Pines wasn't actually fake but a real, actual psychic.

So when she woke up one sunny day with a feeling deep in her heart that Dipper was in danger? Well, her and the Winchesters were on the road to Gravity Falls by noon.

A/N 2: I low-key kinda hate this so I may revise it tmmr

[wil-is-done]

When You’re A Mystery Kid - Chapter 36B: Assault on the Fearamid - Part 2

Summary: At summer’s end, there was a storm, one that even the demon fears. (Warning for graphic violence)

Word Count: 12.355

-

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a repost.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters featured here.

“Bill’s coming!” 

Lili’s scream echoed off of the walls of the massive chamber, louder than the bickering group at the chamber’s center, and immediately silenced them all. She took off in a sprint towards them, Raz only a split second behind. He looked over his shoulder as he ran, at the gaping entrance he left behind. Bill had not appeared through it just yet, but he knew they only had maybe seconds at most before Bill arrives. 

The lingering pain at the back of his head began to grow stronger. They might have even less time than he thought. “Everyone, run!” Raz yelled. “We need to get out of here!”

The group spent a moment frozen, their eyes slowly widening, gears turning in their heads as the realization of what’s happening dawned on them. 

Coraline was the first of them to break out of their reverie. “You heard him!” she barked, pointing a finger towards a grand doorway leading deeper inside the Fearamid. “We gotta move!” 

That managed to break the rest of the group from their stupor. They scrambled, stumbling and tripping over themselves, towards the doorway that Coraline pointed to. It was all a chaotic blur of people and movement. Dipper picked up a discarded paint spray can as he ran. Mabel had her grappling hook in one hand and Pacifica’s hand in another. Norman stayed in place for a second longer than the others, his palms turning into fists, before he followed the others. Coraline made sure everyone was on the move before she herself started running. As Raz ran, he spotted a circle of symbols from the corner of his eye, surrounding an image of Bill. 

Raz and Lili finally caught up to Coraline, who stayed at the back of the group. 

“What do we do now?” he asked, desperate, through panting breath, to Coraline.

“There’s a ritual that can stop Bill. We need Stan, Ford, Wendy, Soos, Robbie, McGucket, Gideon, Pacifica, Mabel, and Dipper to do it.” The determination and resolve that burned in Coraline’s eyes was almost scary to see. “We have to protect them, at all costs.”

Raz nodded resolutely. His eyes narrowed at the ten people running in front of him. He’d done escort missions before. He knew how this worked. Ten people to protect. Ten people that holds the key to saving the world. Ten people he’s prepared to die for, if needed. 

He felt a sharp spike of pain at the back of his head just as he, Lili and Coraline passed through the doorway. The entire structure rumbled, and he could’ve sworn the floor began shifting. That could only mean one thing.

Bill’s here. 

“You dirt walkers are trying to do a little ritual here, huh?” Bill’s voice sounds like it came from everywhere. Not like an echo, it was as if he spoke through the floor and walls and ceiling. “Tell you what; call it off and I promise I’ll only make you all suffer for a few millennia!” 

Raz heard someone yelping, and even a few quiet whimpers, but they all kept running. He glanced back; the hallway behind them was still empty. It won’t stay that way for long. 

“We need to find a place to try the ritual again!” Dipper’s voice came from the front of the group.

“And the time!” Wybie shrieked back. “We won’t be getting neither with Bill right on our asses!” 

A terrible plan took form in his mind. Raz’s face darkened. He skidded to a halt. Lili immediately stopped next to him, joined by Coraline, then Wybie, until everyone stopped in their tracks, their attention focused on Raz.

“Raz?” Coraline’s eyes narrowed. He knew she knew what he had planned.

Raz stared each and every one of them in the eye, putting on the bravest face he could muster. “You’re on your own for the place, but I can give you the time.”

They reacted with gasps, refusals, and unadulterated horror.

“Raz, you can’t, we have to-!”

“No, no way, not in a million-!”

“That’s suicide, Bill’s not going-!” 

“Don’t even try,” Raz replied succinctly, cutting them off. “Just go.”

They didn’t leave, at first, but the look on Raz’s face made it clear that he made his mind. There was nothing they could say that would dissuade him. One by one, they slowly turned on their heels and ran off ahead. The Mystery Kids was the last ones to leave, and among them, Lili and Coraline were the ones that stayed the longest.

“Kick his pointy ass for me.” Coraline gave him one last smirk, before she spun around and sprinted off to rejoin the others.

Now, the only ones left were himself and Lili.

“Lili…” Raz began.

Lili raised a hand. “Don’t even try.”

Raz couldn’t help but smile. It was stupid of him to even to try to get Lili to leave. Not to mention, rather hypocritical. 

His smile didn’t last long, fading as he turned to stare down the long hallway behind him. Beside him, Lili did the same, her expression grim and determined. The rumbling of the walls, the shifting of the floor, the throbbing pain in his head; they’re all getting stronger.

Lili shifted her stance, bringing a finger up to her forehead. “We don’t stand a chance.”

“No.” Orange psychic energy pulsed to life from Raz’s taut fists. “No, we don’t.”

When Bill appeared, the pain skyrocketed. Raz’s knees nearly buckled. His vision blurred and shifted, it took everything in him to keep his focus. Just looking at Bill hurts, in more ways than one. 

Bill floated forward, closing in on Raz and Lili. He looked amused. “Goggles and lily pad! Planning on giving up?” He glared, and Raz heard Lili hissing, holding back a scream. “If you do, I’ll be nice and use your skin for my new curtains! Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you’re alive and conscious for the entire process!”

“Human skin… is a terrible match… for the aesthetic of this place.” Raz forced a grin through gritted teeth. It probably wasn’t the best idea to devote what remained of his brain power for snappy comebacks, but then again, none of his decisions today were particularly smart. 

“Wait, you’re fighting back?” Bill burst out into laughter. “That’s idiotic, even by the standards of three dimensional beings with overdosed minds like you!”

Raz gave Lili the tiniest of glances. On my signal…

“Sure, we might be idiotic three dimensional beings with overdosed minds,” the pulsing energy in his fists grew stronger, larger, swelling beyond the limits of what he knew was safe, “but we are idiotic three dimensional beings with overdosed minds that’s going to take! You! Down!”

Now!

Raz held both hands out, Lili extending out one. Two massive orbs of orange and pink-ish energy, each one larger than him, shot out from their palms. The knockback was enough to send the two skidding back a few inches. The orbs sailed through the air with a booming roar. Bill’s single eye widened in surprise. 

“What the-?!”

Both orbs struck Bill square in his eye, the blast massive and deafening, Bill reeling back by a few feet. The entire structure shook, the corridor suddenly bathed in a kaleidoscope of orange and pink lights, almost blindingly so. Raz and Lili had to shield their eyes from the light and the sheer force of the blast. 

“My eye!” Bill screamed out, clutching his eye. “Cheap shot, you psychic inbreds!”

No time to waste. Lili threw her hands in the air, eyes tightly shut, her brows furrowing in exertion. Bits of stone from the floor, walls, and ceiling was ripped out, flying to a central point above Lili’s head. Raz felt the intense heat of Lili’s pyrokinesis, and witnessed as the gathered stone bits began to melt, coalescing into a ball of molten rock, growing larger and larger as more material flew up to join it.

“Cover me,” Lili whispered through gritted teeth.

Raz nodded with a grunt. He sprinted off straight towards Bill, peppering him with small blasts of psychic energy. With Bill still reeling, he was oblivious to the growing ball of molten rock, and each blast Raz shot made sure to keep it that way. Raz easily slid under the distracted Bill, firing off a couple more psi-blasts for good measure, breaking off into a sprint again on the other side. Bill finally recovered with a grumble about his eye hurting. He quickly spun around and fired off a wave of blue flame. A levitation ball bounced Raz above the wave of searing, cerulean flame. Summoning a psychic platform beneath his feet, he used it to launch himself back at Bill. Twirling in midair, a massive, ethereal fist came to form behind Raz. He swung his fist with a battle cry, the ethereal fist flying past him, aimed straight at Bill. The fist struck Bill’s eye, impacting with a resounding, satisfying thud. Bill reeled, and Raz grinned. 

Down below, seeing her chance, Lili hurled her molten boulder with a grunt of exertion. Bill remained oblivious. Raz’s grin grew wider. 

Suddenly, Bill’s eye flitted left, finally noticing the molten boulder. A new arm suddenly sprouted out of his body, rushing towards Raz, rushing far too fast for Raz to react. Dark fingers clamped down tight around Raz, pinning his arms against his sides. Raz bit back a cry of pain from its crushing grip. He barely had time to even attempt an escape before Bill’s arm abruptly sent him swinging through the air towards, in Raz’s horrified realization, the path of the molten boulder. In that split second before impact, Raz hastily threw up a barrier around himself, and braced. 

The impact was overwhelming. The pain was overwhelming. It was crushing, searing, melting, pulverizing, all at the same time. His vision shifted back and forth between complete darkness and a blur of shapes and colors, and it took everything in him to not succumb, to hang on to that colorful haze. His ears were ringing, so loud he thought his eardrums might burst, but distantly he could still hear the sickening crunch of something breaking, the sizzling of clothes burning, Bill’s booming laughter, and even more distant than all that, the sound of Lili’s horrified screams. 

Raz felt another impact, this time not nearly as bad the first one. Some distant corner of his mind still had enough clarity for him to realize that he’s now lying face down on the ground. The appeal of succumbing, of letting it all go, has never been as strong, and it continued to grow stronger by the moment.

“Raz!”

Lili’s scream reached him once again, but only barely. It was followed a cry of panic. A cry of fear. 

Something stirred within Raz. Something that pushed him to crack his eyes open.

All he saw was a blur, at first, but everything slowly came to focus as the moments ticked by. He saw Lili, standing closer than he thought she would be. She held an arm out, desperately reaching for Raz. Tears were streaming down her face. He had never seen her look so afraid before. Raz drew a strained gasp when he realized why.

Her legs had been turned to wood. Her feet turned to roots, stuck into the floor. The transformation slowly continued to spread upwards, past her hips and up to her stomach. Bill floated behind her. There was a sick sense of amusement in his eye.

“Irony is my eighth favorite form of humor!”

Bill laughed again. Lili sobbed. All Raz could do was watch.

“Raz, please, hold my hand, please,” she begged, the transformation spreading past her chest, “Raz, don’t let me go, I don’t wanna go, please, Raz, please.”

Raz raised his hand and held it out to Lili with all the strength left in him, but it wasn’t enough. Her fingertips were so maddeningly, frustratingly close to his. He couldn’t muster the strength to close the distance. When her begging stopped, her sobs ceased, and she became deathly silent, her wooden fingers were only inches away from his reach.

Raz’s hand dropped lifelessly to the ground. He choked and sobbed, hot tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, boo hoo, kid. It’s only permanent if I want it to.” Bill turned around and began to float away from Raz. “Don’t bother getting up. I can make things worse for you.”

The sight of Bill leaving, so indifferently, so nonchalantly, after what he did; it set something off within Raz. Something in him snapped, and he felt anger like he never felt it before. He had no idea how it was possible, or where he got the strength to do it, but he suddenly found himself barely standing on two feet, his fist faintly pulsing with energy.

“Bill!” Raz’s voice echoed throughout the cavernous hallway. Bill stopped moving away. He didn’t turn to face Raz. 

Raz took one step forward, and stumbled. Raz took another step, and tripped. With every step he took, it threatened to send him crashing to his knees, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that the energy pulsing from his fist fizzled out about five steps ago. All he cared about was Lili, and Bill, and how good the demon would look after Raz had beaten the shit out of him.

In desperation and rage, Raz raised a hand, ready to fire.

Bill spun around. He glared.

Pain flooded Raz’s senses. It felt like a thousand needles were piercing his skull, like two mountains were pressing against his head, like his skull was set aflame with the fires of Hell. His jaw stretched open in a silent scream. He dropped to his knees, and would have fallen flat on the floor if he didn’t catch himself, his arms barely holding himself up. Something wet, something warm, dripped out of his nostrils, then dripped out of his eyes, then dripped out of his ears and mouth. A pool of red began to form underneath him. 

He could still hear Bill’s voice, mocking him.

“Look at you! I’m barely doing anything and you’re already leaking human juice from all your face holes!” 

Raz had no response. He couldn’t think of any. His mind was a blank, empty of everything except for the pain.

“You’re never getting up from that, goggles.” The floor all around him shifted. “But here’s to make sure.”

Water burst out of the floor. It rose to the air before the flow bent and curled, forming a dome around Raz, tightly closing in upon him. Raz let himself collapse to the floor. His eyelids lowered and closed. He tucked his knees against his chest. He had succumbed. Bill left without uttering another word.

He had no idea how long he laid there, curled into himself, when he felt something wet tickling his back, the tips of his hair, and the soles of his shoes. He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know what’s happening.

The dome was shrinking.

-

“Turn right over here!”

Coraline’s voice was confident and unwavering; the group following her directions without question, taking a blind right turn in the ever-increasingly mazelike corridors of the Fearamid. Her features were etched into a mask of undaunted bravery, but even then, she still found herself shooting looks over her shoulders more than once. That loud boom earlier that rocked the entire structure; no doubt that that was because of Raz and Lili. She just hoped it turned out to be a good sign. 

That right turn eventually led to the group passing under a massive doorway and emerging into an equally massive, barren room. Besides chunks of rubble, there was practically nothing to speak of in it; no furniture, no windows, no way forward. 

“Oh no, dead end!” Mabel wailed. Panic was quick to swell among the group. After all, turning back was certainly too risky of an option to take. 

Coraline’s eyes scanned the room closely. In spite of, or perhaps because of, her desperation, her eyes caught a glimpse of something in the far corner of the room. “Over there!” she shouted. 

Coraline led the group as they flocked towards it. As they got closer, it became clear that what caught Coraline’s eye was a doorway. A normal, human-sized doorway, unlike the gigantic ones she had encountered before, that had almost entirely collapsed in on itself, but it still had just enough space for people to crawl under. 

“Come on, everyone. Through here.” Coraline stepped forward and did her best to lift the collapsed parts of the doorway to create just the slightest bit more space for the others to pass through. Mabel and Wendy came up beside her and helped her with the deed. Without further prompting, one by one they crawled under the doorway, starting with Gideon, then Robbie, and so on. The Mystery Kids were the last ones to pass through, and Coraline made sure she was the last one to do it. She took a glance behind her for a moment, her eyes darting left and right for any sign of Bill or his ilk, before she swiftly ducked under the doorway. 

The room beyond was rather similar to the room before in some aspects; namely that it had scarcely anything but rubble in it, it had no windows, and no other doorways forward. What was different about the room was how small it was compared to all the chambers and hallways she’d seen in the Fearamid. The height of the ceiling was about the same height as a normal room, and even the rubble here was smaller. This room was basically the Fearamid’s equivalent of a crawlspace. Despite that, it still had more than enough room for the rather large group.

Neil stepped up into the center of the room and looked around. “Hate to say it, but I feel like this room is about as safe as it gets,” he said. 

“He’s right.” Coraline wasn’t exactly happy with it, but her feelings weren’t important right now. “We’ll hole up here, try the ritual again. Hopefully this time no one’s gonna mess it up.” She didn’t even bother with subtlety when she sent a glare to both Stan and Ford. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Dipper nodded. He walked up to Ford, holding out a spray paint canister. “Great uncle Ford?”

Ford didn’t take the canister immediately, not at first. He was still wilting under Coraline’s glare. When he did accept the canister, he did so without as much as a whisper. 

Coraline threw her gaze to the side and silently scoffed. Good.

Ford was quick to busy himself with recreating the required ritual circle from earlier in the center of the room. The other nine spoken of in the prophecy stood around in a circle, anxiously waiting until the mystical circle was finished. The rest of the Mystery Kids mostly paced around the room nervously. Coraline knelt by the entrance of the room, her eyes flitting between Ford working on the circle and the room outside. 

Ford barely managed to draw a circle when a voice echoed down the hallway and into the room. 

“Organ bags! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” 

Coraline’s blood ran cold. It was as if time itself froze inside that room. Everyone stopped in their tracks, even Ford, looking like a deer in the headlights. 

“Keep drawing!” Coraline snapped at him. He did so immediately.

“Th-that was… was Bill,” Wybie stuttered. The horror in his eyes was all too palpable. “Raz and Lili…”

Coraline tightened her palms into fists. As if the air in the room wasn’t grim already. Dipper wrapped his arms around himself, shaking his head. Mabel had her hands covering her mouth, trying her best to choke back her sobs. Neil collapsed against the wall, clutching his head in his hands. Norman stood almost deathly still in the corner. Coraline had to shut her eyes as tightly as she could. This was no time for tears. Not for her. 

She opened her eyes and stared out into the room and hallway before. She just had a grim realization. “We need more time,” she stated, simply. 

She wasn’t surprised when Norman immediately spoke up. “Coraline. No.”

“What other choice do we have?!” Coraline rose up to her full height, drew her mace, and gripped the weapon tight. “I’m stepping out there and buying you guys time. None of you can stop me.”

To her relief, no one actually took her up on that. However, when Wendy broke away from the circle, her brows furrowed and her axe in hand, Coraline raised her guard.

“Don’t even try, Corduroy.”

“I’m not.” Wendy raised her axe up to Coraline, handle-first. “I just thought you needed this more than I do.”

There was a beat, a moment, where Coraline simply stared dumbfounded at the offered axe. When that moment ended, she readily accepted the axe with her left hand and gave Wendy an appreciative smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Stan breaking away from the circle too, opening his mouth to speak. Coraline’s smile disappeared. 

“Look, kid, before you go through with this stupid idea, you gotta-”

“No, you shut the fuck up!”

Coraline’s words were ringing, cutting cleanly across the air.

“You think you still have a say in this?! Two of my best friends might be dead, all because you two ancient, idiotic troglodytes can’t keep your hate boners in check for five fucking seconds! We could’ve-!”

Coraline held herself back from saying any more. Her eyes were starting to water. 

“Just do us all a favor, and don’t fuck it up again,” she finished. Stan retreated back to the circle without another word. Not that he needed to say anything; the chastised look on his face spoke louder than words. 

Coraline casted one last glance to everyone in the room, to her best friends, to the people she’s fond of, to the people she once hated, and to the people that now kind of hate. She turned, walking closer to the collapsed doorway. She paused when she realized Wybie was following closely behind her.

Coraline sighed. “Wybie. I know you know what I meant.”

“Then you’re not taking a step outside of this room.” The boldness in his voice and the finality in his tone were unlike anything she’d ever heard from him before. 

Coraline spared him a glance over her shoulder. “And you’re gonna stop me?”

“I’m… gonna try.” 

That’s rather impressive, she had to admit. Annoying, but impressive. Coraline set aside both of her weapons for a moment. She turned on her heels to face Wybie, finally. His brows were knit into a glare, his hands balled into fists, genuinely looking ready to do his damnedest to stop her. Gently, Coraline approached him, gingerly placing both of her hands on his shoulders. Wybie’s eyes flitted between them with a nervous glint. She grew closer and closer still, until their faces were only inches from each other, and she could feel his warm breath tickling her lips. Wybie’s eyes were wide with surprise. Coraline’s eyes were closed out of guilt.

“Neil, hold him back.”

A look of shock and confusion barely dawned upon Wybie when Coraline shoved him back into Neil, who immediately wrapped his arms around Wybie in a tight bear hug.

“Wha- Neil?! No, let go of me, you-!”

Coraline wasted no time. With one swift motion, she picked up both the axe and her mace and ducked through the collapsed doorway.

“No! Coraline, please, you can’t do this! He’s going to kill you, you crazy-!”

Coraline didn’t hear the rest of what Wybie said. She was already in a full sprint going down the corridor. 

Coraline briefly wondered how long it would be until she encountered Bill, and what she would do when that happened. She didn’t wonder for long. After only three right turns and two left turns, she skidded to a halt. For a moment, she tensed, her knees suddenly weak, chills running down her spine. Another moment, she shook off her doubts and pushed down her fears, and held her weapons at the ready. There, floating at the far end of the corridor, was Bill Cipher.

Bill, from what she could tell, looked pleasantly surprised to meet her. “Doll face! Let me guess, defiant to the end?” 

Coraline didn’t bother gracing that with an answer. She took off in a sprint, full speed, her mace and axe bared and eager to rip a demon to pieces.

“Oh, there it is! Hilarious!” Bill’s single eye turned into a deep crimson color. “Or it would be, if it’s not getting increasingly annoying!”

Bill snapped his fingers, the sound resoundingly reverberating off of the walls. A deep rumble shook the corridor, giving Coraline pause in her advance. There was a sudden sound of stone grinding against stone, and Coraline watched wide-eyed, as an entire section of the corridor began to rotate clockwise. Another rough grinding noise, a different section of the corridor beginning to rotate, this time counter-clockwise. Three more sections rotating clockwise, four more rotating opposite, on and on until the entire length of the corridor was transformed into an ever-shifting, spinning, chaotic mess of blocks and stone. Coraline simply gritted her teeth and leapt from one section to another. There was nothing he could do to stop her from pressing forward. 

That was when Bill clapped his hands. 

The clap echoed louder than the snap. Coraline paused again, her eyes darting left and right for signs of something, anything, changing. Her eyes were drawn to a tile high above her that had started moving as if it was shuddering. In the blink of an eye, the tile suddenly shot downwards as a pillar in blinding speed. Coraline barely managed to move her foot only a split second before the stone pillar struck where it once was. More and more pillars shot out of the ever-changing floors, walls, and ceiling, all throughout the corridor, adding in to the cavalcade of chaotic madness before her. Not that she’s deterred, not in the slightest. 

Jump. Roll. Sidestep. Vault. Leap. Slide. Both her brain and body, and the connection in-between, pushed to their limits. The smallest misstep, the tiniest miscalculation, and it could all be over in an instant. Against all odds, against the shred of doubt that gnawed at the back of her mind, she’s gaining ground. With every pillar dodged, with every platform traversed, the distance between her and Bill grew smaller. She heard another clap. Coraline doubled her speed.

A pillar shot up underneath her feet. For this, Coraline didn’t dodge. She rode it as it carried her high into the air. Guessing she’s at the correct height, Coraline launched herself off of the pillar, both her weapons gripped tight, straight at Bill.

Bill reeled, caught off guard. Coraline swung her axe. Bill swerved to the side at the very last minute.

Coraline landed with a roll. When she looked back, she saw Bill glaring at the underside of his left arm, where a small, clean cut had exposed bits of the flesh underneath.

Coraline leered up at him. “So you can bleed.”

Bill shifted his glare to her. The exposed flesh reformed itself. He spoke, his voice low and distorted.

“YOU SUDDENLY THINK YOU’RE HOT STUFF, DOLL FACE?!”

Coraline almost laughed. Despite everything, pissing Bill off felt good. 

Her leer didn’t last. The ground shook and rumbled again. Her instincts screamed at her to start moving once. She leapt, and an earthen jaw clamped down on the empty air where she once was only a split second later. She barely caught her breath when she felt the ground tremble. She rolled, and a jaw rose out of the ground, missing her by inches. They were like bear traps, made from the floor itself. Coraline quickly learned to keep moving and move quickly. 

At some point, it became almost like a dance. A game. One that she’s playing with Bill, where she kept winning every round, pissing off Bill more and more. She grew rather bold. Confident. Overconfident, even.

But overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.

Coraline leapt again, but she knew she slipped, her jump not covering as much ground as it was supposed to. Something solid clamped down hard on her left leg. Her jump cut short, she fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. Her mace and axe fell out of her grip with a clatter. Even without looking back, she knew what happened. Coraline got careless, and the jaw got lucky, catching her by the foot. She tugged with all her strength, once, twice, to no avail. She remained stuck.

A shadow loomed over her. Her heart plummeted to her stomach.

A single misstep.

“Done? Can we now skip to the part where I win and you get to enjoy an existence of eternal pain?”

Coraline’s answer was to reach for her axe and chuck it as hard as she could at Bill. The weapon found its mark right in his eye, but Bill didn’t even flinch. Coraline’s heart plummeted even lower.

“You kids have a thing for being a pain in my eye, don’t you?” Bill blinked once, crushing the axe with just his eyelid. The remains clattered to a halt before Coraline’s prone form. 

“Do you have any idea how powerful I am right now?! I turned this hallway into a chaos carousel with just a snap of my fingers!” Bill gestured towards the gauntlet that Coraline had just passed. “And with another snap,” he snapped his fingers again, the cavalcade of shifting stones immediately grinding to a halt, before it reverted back to a normal corridor, “I can take it all away!”

In her endless list of terrible decisions, Coraline decided to tack on one more, by putting on her biggest shit-eating grin and snickering, “Still managed to nick ya.”

Bill actually landed, the floor beneath him cracking. His eye, blood red. His voice, rumbling and distorted.

“Your worst nightmare is that sorry excuse for a demon! My finger is enough to take her place!” Bill raised a single finger. “Here. Watch.” 

Coraline did watch, as the skin on that finger peeled away into a tangled mass of endless obsidian wires. Each strand was razor thin, razor sharp, glinting in the reddish light of the Fearamid. The ends of each strand suddenly solidified, morphing into metallic needles that danced in the air like snakes. Coraline was shocked out of her macabre reverie when Bill lowered his finger to point it at her. The needles shot at her, the black wires trailing eternally behind them. As they slithered closer and closer and closer, Coraline tried once more to free her trapped foot. No avail. She braced herself for the worst.

Something suddenly stepped in front of her.

No. Someone.

She only had a split second of thought, but with that ratty, black coat and matted, dark hair, she recognized who it was instantly. 

“Wybie?!”

Wybie had both of his hands held out. The mass of needles and wires quickly consumed them. 

“And the wrench throws itself into my plans!” Bill bellowed, annoyed and frustrated. 

Any instance of Bill being annoyed would have usually attracted Coraline’s attention, but she had other things in mind right now. “Wybie, what are you doing here?! I told you to stay put!” she shrieked. 

With the needles and wires still swarming his hands, Wybie screamed back over his shoulder, “And I told you you’re not doing this by yourself! I’ll always follow you, Coraline, until the ends of the… of the…”

Wybie faltered in his bold declaration, as the swarm surrounding his hands cleared, revealing that the needles and wires had literally sewn the fingers of each hand together into a single, useless limb. Coraline gasped in horror. Wybie stared at his hands, slack-jawed, too terrified to speak. 

“C-Coraline…?” His low, timid whisper was barely audible, but it set something off within Coraline. 

The wires weren’t finished. They pulled at his hands, pinning his arm against his sides, before it began to swarm all around his torso like rabid wasps. Once it cleared, it had stitched the length of both his arms to the sides of his torso. Even then, they weren’t finished, immediately slithering downwards towards his legs. They circled them, swarmed them, and once they were done, his legs had been fused together into one. Wybie was not prepared, teetering for a moment, before he fell to the floor with a yelp. 

The mass of wires and needles still hasn’t stopped moving. It had begun to creep upwards, headed to Wybie’s face. 

Wybie locked his gaze with Coraline’s. Wide eyes filled with fear met wide eyes filled with desperation. Coraline couldn’t think of anything she could do other than to plead, to yell out his name, over and over again. Wybie’s lips quivered, like he was about to say something, but he never had the chance. A needle pierced through the upper right corner of his lips, and it quick wound its way along the length of it. Within seconds, his lips had been sewn shut. A pair of needles went a bit higher, to his eyes, and before long, his eyelids had also been sewn closed. He still squirmed, he still screamed, blindly, in his grotesque bondage. 

Coraline collapsed, slamming her fist against the floor in anger, in sorrow, at her own failure, quietly sobbing Wybie’s name to herself. 

“Sit still, and I might just let you die.” Bill’s voice rang, distant, dispassionate. He turned, floating away from her. 

Coraline didn’t even think. She was seeing red as she reached for her discarded mace and tossed it at him with all the strength she had left, screaming bloody murder all the while. The mace sailed through the air, only to come to a dead stop in midair halfway through its arc. Bill spun in place, slowly, facing her with his eye glowing red. Despite her rage, Coraline shriveled under Bill’s imposing gaze. 

“You don’t know when it’s time to quit, do you?”

She heard stones cracking, and to her surprise, saw the earthen jaw that pinned her foot crumble into pieces. However, before she could utilize the opportunity, she was enveloped by a blue glow, and she felt herself lifted up to the air. She flailed frantically, trying to escape, to no avail, rising higher and higher until she was at eye level with Bill. Her mace, still floating in midair, was suddenly, effortlessly split into two. Both halves flew at her and, before she could react, each one clamped and locked themselves around her wrists. She cried when her wrists were suddenly pulled behind her, the metal meeting each other with an echoing clang. The makeshift shackles melted and joined together, leaving her hands uselessly locked behind her. The pile of rubble below her that was once the earthen jaw cracked and crumbled even further into grains of sand. A sudden gust of wind cleared the sand away and revealed, among the dark-red tiles of the Fearamid, a small door. 

Coraline’s eyes widened in horrified recognition. 

The small door slowly swung open with a long, whining creak, revealing a lightless, impenetrable, unending abyss, and faintly, a singsong hum of something pretending to be a human woman. 

“Run along home to mommy.”

Bill’s words rang in her ears as the glow surrounding her fades, and gravity took its course. Down she went to the abyss below, to her fated destination. Fear seized her heart in a vice, cold and unrelenting. Any semblance of composure had abandoned her. Her mask of bravery, of determination and valor, long gone, discarded. She screamed. She cried. She begged. All for naught. Plunged into the abyss, to be claimed, consumed. 

“Just a little doll, afraid of the dark.” 

Her scream was silenced as the small door slammed shut.

-

Norman could’ve stopped Raz and Lili from staying behind, but he didn’t. Norman could’ve stopped Coraline from leaving the room they hunkered down in to slow Bill down, but he didn’t. Norman could’ve stopped Wybie when he broke free of Neil’s bear hug and went out after Coraline, but he didn’t. All those times when he could’ve stopped his friends, and he chose not to. All because of a strange, vague whisper at the back of his mind told him to. 

And now, that whisper urged him to leave this room and confront Bill. 

He nearly acted on it almost immediately. He managed to catch himself, instead casting his gaze around the room. Ford’s progress on the ritual circle was halfway complete, and all ten of the people needed for the ritual were all here, safe and sound. Logically, there was no need to step outside of this room. 

Norman watched Ford as he moved to finish the lower half of Bill’s depiction, but as he pressed down on the can’s nozzle, instead of a spray of blue paint, all that came out was a hiss and empty air. 

“Oh no.” Ford frantically shook the can and tried again, only to get the same result. “This can’s empty.”

There it was. The reason. 

The entire structure suddenly rumbled. Tiny chunks of the ceiling broke off and fell to the floor. Norman jumped as an all-too familiar voice filled the air.

“I’m getting really tired of these distractions, Fordsy!” Bill’s voice sounded livid. “You throw one more kid at me, and I’m gonna lose it!” 

That was another reason.

“What do we do now, dudes?!” Soos shouted, clutching the top of his head.

“We can still finish the circle!” Ford yelled out. “Quick, everyone search for something sharp, something that I can use to carve out the rest of the circle!”

Everyone was quick to do so, scampering towards the piles of rubble scattered around the room. Neil did so too. Norman didn’t. He had his eyes locked on the partially collapsed doorway, the only entrance and exit to this room. 

“Hey, Norman, c’mon!” Norman heard Neil say. He wasn’t expecting Neil to be suddenly standing beside him. “We gotta help look!”

Norman took one last look around the room, at everyone busy scrounging through piles of rubble, then at Neil. “Neil, promise me you won’t let anyone follow me outside,” he said. 

It took Neil a second to digest what Norman had said. Once he did, he didn’t take it well. “You want to-?! Norman, why would you want to do that?!”

Norman clamped a firm hand on Neil’s shoulder. “Just trust me on this. Promise?”

Neil hesitated for a moment, but he eventually gave him a steely nod. “I do. I promise.”

Norman replied with one last smile, which Neil was quick to reciprocate. As silently as he could, with everyone but Neil still preoccupied, he slipped underneath the doorway. 

Emerging on the other side, he stared down the massive, barren room he’s in, and at the massive doorway where Bill would soon emerge. One step after another he took, drawing closer and closer to the center of the room. Energy flowed from his center to the tips of his fingers, first starting as a trickle, but with every step he loosened his limits more and more, until energy were surging towards his hands. Some managed to escape his control, manifesting as quick lashes of yellow that burned at the edges of his sleeves. He was only a few steps away now. Out here, he won’t hesitate. 

“Wait, where’s Norman?” 

Norman stopped. Even out here, Dipper’s voice still managed to reach him.

“Neil, where’s Norman?!”

Norman couldn’t afford to take the risk. Without looking back, Norman opened his palm at the doorway he emerged. A bolt of lightning left his palm, quickly followed by the sound of lighting striking and of rocks falling and crumbling. Amidst it all, he heard Dipper’s voice screaming out his name. 

Norman drew a deep breath. Now he couldn’t hesitate even if he wanted to. 

Three more steps, and he was at the room’s center, standing tall, fists clenched, waiting for Bill’s arrival. 

The wait wasn’t long. Bill emerged from the massive doorway, his single eye already colored a vibrant crimson. He scanned the room, until his gaze met Norman’s. Norman might only be seeing what he wanted to see, but when Bill’s eye landed on him, he could’ve sworn he saw Bill flinch. 

“Ghost boy,” Bill said, his tone peculiarly flat. “Where’s the rest of your little troupe?” 

Norman glared up at him. “Whatever you say to me, it won’t work.”

“Not even if I say I will make the people you loved suffer the most?” Bill asked, as if that question was supposed to be a joke.

Norman’s reply was to hold out both of his hands, palms opened. “I’ve only done this a few times so far.” He changed his stance, spreading his legs to better handle the knockback, and gritted his teeth. “This is the first time I’m not sorry for using it.”

The energy surging and building towards his palms were practically fit to burst. Finally, Norman let go of his control of it, letting it all loose. A singular bolt of lightning shot out of his palms. It split the air in a flash, crackling and hissing like a cacophony of angry snakes. Bill’s eye went wide with clear, genuine fear. Hastily, in panic, he put up his arms to shield himself. The lightning bolt struck Bill’s arm with a deafening roar of thunder, and Bill… yelped.

A quick, weak yelp. Something caused by the spittle of boiling water, or a sudden shock of static in a dry day. Not by a bolt of lightning that Norman knew for a fact was the single most painful thing someone could feel. All Norman could do was stare, frozen, dumbfounded. Even Bill seemed bewildered, staring at the spot where the bolt struck his arm. His gaze moved to meet Norman’s. 

“I-Is… Is that the best you can do?” Bill asked, something almost like caution clear in his tone.

Norman was too afraid to answer, because it was a yes. 

His answer must have been written clear on his face, because Bill began to laugh. It started as a low, disbelieving chuckle at first, but it quickly devolved into an unrestrained, booming guffaw. Norman stared down at his palms; at what he thought was something that could stop Bill.

“Well, you sure made me feel like an idiot, kid!” Bill mocked as his laughter died down, mimicking wiping tears from his eye. He floated forward. Norman slowly backed away.

“Here I was, worrying that I’ve got a storm coming!” Bill leaned closer, close enough that Norman nearly fell over. “But you’re still just a pathetic, little spark, aren’t you, Norman?”

Despite the demon inching closer, Norman’s eyes were drawn again to his hands. There were sparks still, surging beneath the skin. “That’s… that was supposed to…” 

“Supposed to what?! Hurt me? Kill me?!” Bill’s voice rocked the entire structure. His entire body changed color into dark red, his eye turning into deep black with a shining yellow pupil. “I am beyond anything you’ve ever faced, witch! There’s no hurting me, there’s no killing me, there’s no banishing me.”

That time, Norman did fall over. As he stared up with wide eyes, Bill withdrew. His composure returned to something resembling calm.

“Let’s make this easy for everyone,” he said. His hand burst into blue flame, and he pointed it at Norman. “Tell me where Ford is, and I might not kill you.”

For a split second, Norman had the urge to cast a glance at the collapsed doorway hiding the others. He easily resisted. Instead, he rose back to his feet and, though much more timidly this time, extended his hands out towards Bill. The surging energy was still there, electricity rippling across his skin. If he couldn’t defeat Bill, then he could still slow him down. 

Bill sighed. He lowered his arm, the blue flame fizzling out, much to Norman’s surprise.

“Not done, huh? Fine!” Norman thought if Bill had a mouth, it would’ve cracked into a wicked grin. “Since you’re so eager, I’ll make this easier for ya! I’ll give you a bigger target!”

In the blink of an eye, and with a terrible roar, Bill transformed. The hands that took all of Norman’s courage to hold up slowly lowered themselves at the sight. A towering beast of crimson red, his body segmented by maws ringed with yellow fangs and slobbering, black tongues. Eight yellow, shining appendages sprouted from his body; six serving as his ‘hands’, two serving as his ‘legs’. His single obsidian eye, repeated three times across all four of his sides. The eye that was facing Norman narrowed down at him.

“GO ON. HIT ME.” 

Something primal at the back of his mind told him to turn tail and run. Instead, what he did was hastily raise his hands back up again. Norman willed energy to surge to his fingertips. 

A bolt of his lightning left his palms. 

A wave of blue flame left one of Bill’s hands, massive and all-consuming. 

Everything turned black.

When his senses returned, the first thing to greet him was pain all over his body and the smell of smoke. The second to greet him was a worrying numbness on his palms. The third was how he was sprawled on the Fearamid’s floor, arms splayed wide on each side. The fourth was Bill’s voice, low and distorted. 

“One last time. Where. Is. Ford.” 

Norman’s intent was to give Bill the middle finger, but the numbness on his hands made it hard to tell whether or not he succeeded. Although, judging from how Bill grumbled, he was hopeful that he did. 

“Fine! Be that way!” Bill sounded like he was huffing. “You should know this is the second time I’ve resorted to torture today!”

Norman heard a finger snap. The earth suddenly rose and clamped down around his wrists. Norman gave it what amounted to a courtesy struggle, but it was no use. Even if he wasn’t in the state that he currently was, he had no chance of breaking free of the earthen shackles. Another snap, and the floor he laid on began to rise and straighten, until he was perpendicular to the ground, suspended by the wrists thanks to the shackles. Through the haze and pain, Norman realized, disturbingly, that the piece of the floor he was hanging from had been shaped to bear more than a passing resemblance to a cross.

“There! Just like that fake thing you humans worship!” 

Norman would’ve rolled his eyes if he could. So much for subtlety.

Bill circled Norman, all four his eyes searching the barren room. “I know you can hear me, Fordsy! I know you’re seeing this!” he bellowed. “Come on, Sixer! You know I can still make it worse for this kid!” 

With his head hanging low, Norman chanced a glance at the collapsed doorway. He quickly looked away when he caught sight of three pairs of eyes peeking through the tiny gaps in the rubble. 

No response came. Bill fumed, while Norman smiled in silent gratitude. “Alright, fine!” From a swirl of darkness, a giant nail materialized on one of Bill’s hands. He placed the tip against the palm of Norman’s left hand. The size was immediately made apparent, the ‘small’ tip covering the entire palm. On a different hand, Bill materialized a giant hammer. “I’m giving you to the count of three! Or this,” Bill pressed the tip harder against Norman’s hand. Norman had to bite down to hold back a scream, “becomes far more historically accurate!”

Norman glanced at the collapsed doorway again. There was still no apparent response. Good.

“One!”

Norman drew a deep breath. To say that this would hurt was an understatement. 

“Two!”

Bill raised his hammer. Norman resolved to try his best to hold back his scream. Out of the corner of his eye, however, he spotted a light shining through the gaps of the doorway.

“Three!”

Bill swung his hammer down. The rubble blocking the doorway began to shrink. Norman nearly cried out in horror.

“Bill!”

The hammer stopped inches from the nail. Both vanished into thin air as Bill’s eyes lit up with glee. All Norman could do was shake his head in horrified disbelief.

Dipper stood in the doorway, flashlight held out in hand. Beside him were Mabel and Neil, both trying to pull him back into the room. 

“It’s us that you want, right?!” Dipper yelled out again. “Let him go!” 

There was a flash. A rift. A break in reality. For a moment, Norman saw two Bills. Another moment, and Bill was suddenly floating in front of him again. In one hand, he held Dipper, and in another, was Mabel. They struggled with all the strength they had, but there was no escaping Bill’s grip.

“Finally!” Bill raised Dipper and Mabel closer to his front-facing eye. “You kids really went out of your way to make things annoying for me! The good news is that it’s finally over! Bad news is, well, none! For me!”

Bill held Dipper in front of Norman, practically waving him around like a toy. “Couldn’t resist, can you, pine tree?” he mocked.

Norman’s gaze met Dipper’s. “Why?” he whispered, barely heard.

“I’m not just gonna let him do that to you,” Dipper replied, true and genuine. In any other circumstance, Norman would have felt happiness hearing that. Dipper cried out as Bill pulled him away from Norman.

“Now!” Bill leaned in close until his eye was at arm’s length from Norman. “How should I turn you into a corpse?”

Bill lifted Dipper and Mabel to his left-facing and right-facing eyes. “Any suggestions? Pine tree, shooting star?”

“Fuck you!”

“You jerk!”

“Just kidding! I already know the answer!”

Something fell from the ceiling to dangle in the distance between Norman and Bill’s eye. Norman’s blood went cold when he realized it was a length of blackened rope, tied into a noose. 

“Just like back in the day! Isn’t that right, witch?”

Norman tried one last time to put up a fight, to will energy to surge forth once more, but even that was impossible in the state he’s in. A pair of Bill’s hands moved to wrap the noose around Norman’s neck, their motions bizarrely gentle and delicate. The noose was tightened; not yet enough to squeeze, but just enough to always make its presence known. Bill stepped back with a sick sense of pride in his eye. Dipper’s struggle heightened into a frenzy, spouting incoherent screams and Norman’s name. Mabel did the same, even as she broke down and tears started streaming down her cheeks. All Norman could do was watch their anguish as he teetered ever closer to submitting to his own.

“Going up?” 

The shackles, the cross that held him crumbled into dust. The rope, the noose around his neck squeezed and pulled. It dragged him higher and higher to the dizzying heights of the ceiling. Panic quickly set in. Norman’s desperate, weakening fingers clawed against the rope that bit into his neck. Air was running out. Limbs were going numb. Darkness crept at the edges of his vision. Faintly, he heard the twins, calling out for him.

Terror, dawning. Despair, succumbing. Acceptance, settling.

Faintly, he heard Bill, threatening the twins with death.

Control, liberated. Anger, released. Hatred, unleashed. 

Hatred. Hatred. Hatred. 

Everything turned red.

Everything turned black.

-

“Last chance, Ford! You tell me how to break the barrier, or I turn these two into corpses!” 

Bill’s voice was almost deafening as he loomed over the doorway into the room where the others hid, completely dwarfing it in this monstrous form. In Bill’s unrelenting grip, Dipper still struggled to break free. Despite what he had just witnessed happen to Norman, despite the pervading sense of despair within, he still struggled with all the strength he could muster. Across from him, Mabel matched his struggle pound for pound, even with her cheeks still caked with fresh tears. 

“Great uncle Ford, don’t listen to him! He’ll just kill us anyway!” Dipper yelled out, his voice starting to become hoarse. He had no idea if it even mattered or not, but when no response came from the doorway, Dipper took that as a small victory.

However, that feeling was short-lived.

“Good point, Dipper!” Bill held the twins out under his gaze. “Maybe I should kill one first! Let’s take a pick, shall we?!”

Dipper turned to look at his sister, their gazes meeting with one another. Terror was clear in their eyes, for each other as well as themselves. 

Bill’s pupil transformed into the shape of a shooting star. His eye locked onto Mabel, red light shining upon her like a spotlight.

“Eenie!”

Bill blinked. His pupil took the form of a pine tree. Dipper was bathed in red light.

“Meenie!”

He blinked again. A shooting star-shaped pupil. Red light shining upon Mabel. 

“Miney!”

One last blink. Dipper closed his eyes. He braced for it come. At the very least, Mabel got to survive. 

“M-!”

Thunder. Righteous and frightening. One that he didn’t just hear; he felt it. Shaking him to his core, leaving him feeling small and perilously mortal. His eyes shot open. A compulsion left his gaze drawn towards the sky.

Dipper looked up, and saw a storm.

A mass of black had engulfed the ceiling. It roiled and swirled, forming a tumultuous whirlpool of shadows. Breaks of light intermittently snaked from one patch of darkness to another. At its center, at the eye, was a blinding, yellow light. It looked unnatural, and it felt almost divine. 

Dipper wasn’t the only one drawn to the storm. Mabel did too, staring in a mix of fear and awe. Even Bill had his gaze drawn upwards.

“What the-?”

Bill was cut off by a wraithlike shriek. 

A flash of lightning. Dipper cried out when he suddenly felt himself falling. The landing was rough, but the hard ground was far more preferable than Bill’s grasp. Mabel landed the same manner, not too far from him. A few feet from the two was a shining, yellow shape, hunched over and panting. Looming above, Bill’s eye practically popped out of its socket, staring at his two severed limbs, the flesh exposed and burned, leaving a faint trail of black smoke. 

Bill roared in pain as the shape rose to its full height.

The shape was none other than Norman. Beautiful, terrible lightning covered every inch of his being. It changed and shifted in every moment, nary a second of stillness. Snakelike flashes of electricity snapped and sparked at the air and the ground around him. His eyes were blank, yet filled with terrible, righteous fury. How he moved was unnatural, every motion and every twitch unnerving. Despite all of that, this was unmistakably Norman, his friend that he’d made at the start of summer.

Dipper had never thought he would ever see Norman and feel such a primal urge to run away from him. 

Bill had ceased screaming. His eye glared death down at Norman. His remaining limbs burst into blue flame and he lunged.

“You deranged, little witc-!”

Norman spun around. He held a hand up, palm opened. The world turned white.

As color and sound returned, and as his sight recovered and he lowered his arms from shielding his face, Dipper jumped back in shock. “Holy-!”

The entire section of the Fearamid beyond Norman was gone. The ceiling, the walls, the hallway; all completely obliterated. In its place was a gaping hole at one side of the Fearamid, giving Dipper a clear view of the blood crimson sky of Weirdmageddon. Gale winds rushed in, already beginning to chip away the edges of the Fearamid that survived the attack. What’s more, at first glance, he saw no sign of Bill whatsoever. 

Dipper’s stare landed on Norman. Could it be…? 

“Hey, kid!”

Dipper couldn’t help but feel disappointed, when he heard Bill’s booming voice. That disappointment quickly turned into astonishment when he actually caught sight of Bill. Or, what’s left of him. 

Out of his eight limbs, only two remained. Even then, one was already halfway gone. The entire lower half of his body was missing, and the same could be said of a small chunk of his just above his eye. Disgusting, dark red flesh sloughed and spilled off of him from every part where it was exposed. He was shaking furiously, painfully. He still had a glare fixed upon Norman, and it was one that could kill.

“You missed a spot!”

With a disturbing cry of pain, Bill quickly reformed all of his missing parts in a cacophony of horrible squelching noises. That nearly had Dipper groaning in frustration. The hope that steadily swelled in his heart came crashing back down. Even after that, Bill still shrugged it off like it was nothing. He’d imagine Mabel was thinking the same thing, based on how she slammed a fist to the ground. Norman, on the other hand, looked completely undeterred. At least, as far as Dipper could tell. He’s still having a hard time believing that the wraith of rage and lightning a few feet from him and Norman were one and the same. 

Norman unleashed a chilling, wraithlike shriek; a voice that was not at all like the Norman that Dipper knew. With a burst of electricity, he launched himself and flew straight towards Bill, leaving a trail of crackling yellow behind him. 

The approaching streak of light was impossible to miss for Bill. Blue flames burst into life on three of his hands. With a roar, he unleashed a wave of fire that sailed through the air at Norman. Norman easily danced in and all around the torrent. Darting around in speeds barely caught by the human eye, until he was clear of the onslaught. With another shriek, he doubled his speed, and was upon Bill in a split second. Bill desperately swerved to the side, but he wasn’t fast enough. Norman crashed into Bill’s right side, obliterating a sizable chunk of his body and two of his limbs in an explosion of flesh. The impact didn’t slow Norman down in the slightest, speeding past and leaving Bill to scream in pain. He flew up higher and higher, only seemed to be satisfied when he was among the clouds, far higher than even where Bill was. Bill’s missing flesh and limb quickly reformed. He turned his gaze upwards and glared. It was clear that neither had no intention of backing down. 

The battle in the skies had Dipper so enraptured that he jumped when he felt a pair of arms tightly wrapping around him. He immediately calmed when he realized it was Mabel, hugging him, and he gladly hugged her back. A different pair of arms lifted him up to his feet. This time, they were Neil’s, who still had his eyes glued to the sky as he helped Dipper up. Not that Dipper could blame him. His attention was immediately drawn back to the fight as well.

Norman unleashed another chilling shriek, the electricity covering his skin sparking and crackling wildly, snapping against the empty air around him. The sky around Norman darkened, black clouds congregating into one, as if summoned by his cry. They grew so large that, for a moment, the blood red sky turned pitch black. It was so dark that Dipper lost sight of Norman’s shining form among the clouds. He had a feeling Bill did too.

Another shriek. The clouds burst into blinding, radiant light. 

A torrent of lightning shot out of the clouds. They crackled through the air to join into one upon Norman. His form grew brighter than even the radiant clouds around him. He brought his hands together in front of him in a tranquil rage that bordered on unnerving. Energy surged towards his palms, manifesting as a chaotic mass of electricity that hissed and snapped like maddened vipers, fueled on even further by the lighting feeding into him, growing and charging until it became something truly massive. As it reached its apex, Norman fired. 

Dipper shoved Mabel and Neil to the side, once he realized they were in the line of fire. 

The bolt of lightning was the largest that Dipper had ever seen in his life. It looked less like a lightning bolt and more like a divine serpent that descended from the heavens. It pierced through Bill’s eye socket easily, it pierced through the Fearamid behind him, and it didn’t stop until it struck the ground. Dipper pressed himself and Mabel and Neil against the wall, desperate to put as much distance between him and the streak of light as possible. The world nearly turned blinding white again. The strike ceased; the red sky of Weirdmageddon returning and Norman’s form dimming to its normal glow. 

“Again with the eye!” Bill cried out in pain, clutching the empty eye socket where his eye once was. 

Dipper gaped at the mark the attack left on the Fearamid. Beside him, Mabel and Neil did the same. By this point, the Fearamid must be just a few careless knocks away from falling apart.  

“D-do we… still need the ritual or…?” Neil said, nervously glancing at Dipper. By this point, Dipper had begun to wonder that as well. 

He didn’t have long to think, as Bill’s furious roar broke him out of his thoughts. If it wasn’t clear that Bill had been pissed before, then there were no doubts about it after that. 

Blue flame came to life from all six of Bill’s hands. He blindly fired it at all directions, flailing his arms around in a disturbing, mad frenzy, creating an ever-expanding ball of blue, fiery death. Norman was quick to dart around the flames, but even with his blinding speed, it wasn’t enough. He managed to dodge the brunt of the encroaching flames, but a stray trail of flame caught him by surprise and licked at his arm. Dipper gasped when he saw Norman veering downwards, the electricity around him sputtering out. However, it seemed he managed to catch himself, slowing down to a hover. He glared at Bill, furious, but visibly injured, one arm hanging limply at his side.

Without hesitation, Dipper turned to Neil. “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Dipper led the other two as they took off in a sprint towards the room where everyone else hid. Or, as it turned out, what was left of the room. The ceiling was gone and half of the room was replaced by a steep plummet to the ground far below. Thankfully, the ritual circle was left untouched. With the ceiling gone, everyone had a clear view of the fight that’s been occurring in the sky. Everyone, except for great uncle Ford, was transfixed, practically frozen in place. 

Wendy was the first to break out of her stupor and actually notice that the three had returned. “I-is that… Norman?” she sputtered, weakly pointing at the sky.

All Dipper could muster was a slow nod. 

While everyone was watching the fight, great uncle Ford was still hard at work chipping off pieces of the floor with a rock, and thank god for that. He really did take Coraline’s outburst earlier to heart. 

“Finished!” Ford announced, stepping back with a relieved grin. That managed to gain the attention of everyone in the room.

The ritual circle was indeed finished. Half painted on the floor half carved out of it. The key to banishing Bill, once and for all.

“Everyone, step into the circle!” Ford shouted at the others. “Razputin and Lili, Coraline and Wybourne, Norman; they have bought us precious time! We must not waste it!”

Dipper was the first one on his symbol. “This is for them all! Let’s go!”

“For Gravity Falls! For the Mystery Kids! For the rest of the world!” Mabel grandly announced, standing tall on her symbol.

One by one, the others followed suit, stepping onto their respective symbols. This time, without needing to be told, everyone held hands with each other. Dipper wrapped his hands around Wendy’s and McGucket’s, and held them tight. Mabel did the same with Pacifica and Gideon. The only ones left that haven’t held hands was Grunkle Stan and great uncle Ford, and Dipper couldn’t but sense a horrible feeling of déjà vu. Silently, they gave each other a look; one that said more than a thousand words, more than what Dipper could infer from what he knew about the two. Still not saying a word, their joined their hands together. Everyone in the circle began to glow. 

Dipper felt the familiar sensation something stirring within him, of an energy building up to a crescendo. Dark clouds formed far above, a looming vortex of shadow with the circle at its center. It wasn’t nearly as massive the clouds that formed during Norman’s attack, and it felt different too, somehow. Norman’s felt divine, otherworldly. This felt earthly. Natural. 

Bill had been occupied with fighting Norman, but the growing mass of clouds finally caught his attention. His gaze shifted from the circling clouds down to the ritual circle. His eye widened. 

“No!” Bill abandoned his fight with Norman, flying towards the circle at full speed. “No, no, no, no, no!”

Bill had murder written all over his glare. Dipper gulped. 

A bolt of lightning clamped down on one of Bill’s hands. Seven more lightning bolts came to restrain the rest of Bill’s limbs. The streaks of electricity trailed back to Norman’s fingers, using them to hold Bill in place. Bill tugged and pulled on them with all his might, one time, two times, but Norman didn’t budge an inch. Dipper let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

The energy inside him finally reached its peak, Dipper could tell. He felt the energy leaving him; saw the glow rise from his body. The glow left everyone’s bodies, forming a circle of shapeless blue lights above their heads. Dipper watched, mesmerized, as the light above him assumed the form of a pine tree; his symbol. The other lights did the same; Mabel’s light forming into a shooting star, great uncle Ford’s into a six-fingered hand, Soos’ into a question mark, and so on. The lights had a gentleness to it, twinkling and shimmering almost merrily. Gazing upon them, Dipper felt a strange sense of tranquility washing over him. Peace. Relief.

The lights began to revolve, slowly at first, but it didn’t take long for it to gain speed. Gusts of wind picked around them, circling them, as if following the lights. The shapes lost their form as the lights revolved faster and faster still. They blurred together into a spinning, luminous, resplendent halo of blue light that grew brighter with every passing second. It began to shrink, the revolutions continuing to gain speed, condensing into a single point in the center of the circle. Bill bellowed a wordless roar. The light gathered into a radiant singularity. Dipper grinned.

He glared towards the sky, towards Bill. “Here’s to never meeting you again, Bill Cipher.”

The light launched with a high-pitched screech. A beam of blue sailed through the air. The lightning holding Bill dissipated, Norman darting out of the way in a blink. Bill had nowhere to run. 

The light consumed Bill. It surged on unflinchingly towards the gaping rift in the sky. Bill pushed back against the light in a mad, frantic desperation. Pieces of his physical form began to crumble, the tips of his flesh sent back to the rift whence they came. In the throes of his enchanted banishment, Bill unleashed a roar of pure, violent rage.

“I’ll be back! Mark my words! Even if it takes another trillion years! I will return and burn this pitiful dimension into oblivion!” 

More and more of Bill fell apart, dragged back to his dimension by the light. His hands, his legs, his top hat, parts of his body; collapsing into nothing but formless flesh and banished to never return. His eye was the last of him to remain, engraved into a seething glare. Dipper could’ve sworn that eye was glaring specifically at him.

“EMIT FO HTAED EHT LITNU, YTINRETE LLA ROF, REVEROF! EID DNA EVIL I, EID DNA EVIL UOY SA! ENIVID RO TLUCCO YB NEKORBNU! ENIM HTIW ECNETSIXE RUOY DNIB I!”  

The last of Bill’s voice echoed throughout the land. The last of Bill’s presence in this world sent back through the interdimensional rift. 

For the second time that day, the world turned white.

-

The sun was shining. Birds were singing merrily. Gravity Falls’ town square was packed with the townsfolk. All of them confused as to how they got there. All of them confused as to how everything returned to the way they were. All of them paid little mind to their confusion for the moment. For now, they all basked in the light. 

Neil, standing up straight and tall after pressing himself against a corner for most of the ritual, basked in the light.

Wybie, spending a moment gasping in panic after suddenly freed from the terrible wires and needles that constricted him, basked in the light.

Mabel, still clutching Pacifica’s hand in a tight grip as if her life depended on it, basked in the light. 

Lili, taking in a deep breath and staring in wonder at her form that now has returned to normal, basked in the light. 

Raz, realizing with a start that the bleeding had ceased and the encroaching dome of water was nowhere to be seen, basked in the light. 

Coraline, rubbing her unbound wrists and silently grateful to no longer be in the clutches of darkness and needle-like fingers, basked in the light.

Dipper, scanning the clear sky in search of a particular person he held most dear, basked in the light. 

Norman, the one that Dipper was searching for, descended from the light. The electricity that covered his skin had calmed almost to a complete stop, ebbing away as he descended. The crowd parted and formed a circle at the spot where he would land. Dipper was the first to emerge into that circle. The rest of the Mystery Kids were only seconds behind. 

Norman gently touched down upon the ground. The last of the electricity clinging on him dissipated into thin air, leaving him as regular, plain Norman. He stood there, staring blankly ahead, for all of five seconds before his knees buckled under him and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Dipper was immediately there to catch him when he fell. He pulled Norman into a tight hug, a smile on his lips, tears rolling down his cheeks. Mabel joined the hug. Neil joined the hug. Raz, Wybie, Coraline, Lili; they all gladly piled on to the big group hug. Smiling. Crying.

No words were said. No words needed to be said. 

They won.

-

And that was that, folks. The end of the Weirdmageddon Saga. 

This was, without exaggeration, a gargantuan endeavor to undertake. While I always knew this would take a lot of work, I was still not prepared for just how much work there would be. I had to spend several consecutive nights staying up late to get this done in time. I had to wrestle with my own expectations and hopes of what this chapter is going to be to get this done at all. Not helping was the fact that I suddenly had a mountain of college work to do. In the end, I can only hope that I have done the story and event justice, I have done the characters justice, and I have done the hype I built up myself justice. 

As for the chapter itself, personally, I’m overall pretty happy with how it turned out! I got to write awesome scenes that I have always wanted to write for months now, and got to write awesome scenes that popped into my head in the process of making this chapter. Not to mention, everyone actually got to do something cool in this chapter! I realized Wybie’s part in Part 1 being a highlight for a lot of people was probably because he’s the only one that got to do something cool in it. Although, full disclosure, I will admit that the power levels definitely got way buckwild near the end there, with Norman. Definitely broke someone’s suspension of disbelief. Here’s hoping I didn’t do that to too many people. 

Now, while this might be the end of the saga, this is far from the end for this entire story. So, no worries to y’all who are thinking that this is the end. I’ve got stuff I’ve been concocting in the background for months now. New adventures, new enemies, and you guessed it, lots and lots of new additions to add to the team. For my plan right now, I have four more chapters that will act as sort of a bridge between this saga and the next. I’m hoping I can get them all done in December, so we can kick off the new year with a brand new saga! Get mega hyped for that, y’all!

Last but not least, I would like to thank you, the reader. To those who have stuck with ever since I started this fic like three years ago, and to those who have only recently discovered this fic, I cannot thank you enough. Your support and your kind words all this time are like the fuel that feeds my fire. With it, this fire has grown brighter than I ever thought was possible, and I am eternally grateful for it. 

Thank you for reading, thank you for your support, and I hope you have a nice day!

[myusernameisstolen]

I’ve got an amazing idea for a Gravity Falls Homestuck AU

I’d love to make a fancomic for it, but I’m nowhere near talented enough to bring it to life, so I’m sending it out into the void to see if anyone else wants to take a whack at it, alter it,  whatever. Here’s what I’ve got written up about it so far:

Bill Cipher

Derse dreamer

Chumhandle: TriangleTrust

Typing Quirk: TYPES IN YELLOW AND ALL CAPS, AND ENDS EVERY SENTENCE WITH AN EXCLAMATION POINT!

Lord of Mind, God-tier: Leprechauns are his henchmaniacs, given mind powers relevant to their canon abilities. Trying to escape his doomed reality by hijacking other players' sessions so he can enter their newborn universes/Axolotls. Has access to all knowledge throughout the multiverse, at least from minds he's capable of understanding – he's gone insane as a consequence.

Denizen: Yaldabaoth

Strife Specibus: GHO;GHWORGHKGHGHROHRkind

Species: Eye – Subspecies: Providence.

Relationships:

Dipper:Puppet

Mabel: Has one-sided kismetic feelings for

Gideon: Puppet

Stanford: Old Toy/Enemy

Fetch Modus: Subdimensional – divides an object into its different dimensions (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc) and the user must reassemble them to access it. Only usable by the Eye species.

Mason “Dipper” Pines

Derse dreamer

Chumhandle: GeminiDucktective

Typing Quirk: Types in black like a normal goddamn person.

Interests: Paranormal, Science, Ducktective (and regular detectives), Mystery genre, Puzzles, Tabletop gaming, Video games, and Hacking (which he isn't good at).

Heir of Space: Will be in charge of breeding the Axolotls. Manipulates Space with compasses and other drawing tools.

Planet: Land of Caves and Axolotls

Denizen: Echidna

Strife Specibus: Shovelkind

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Stanford Pines (Secondary Genetic Donor: Abuelita)

Relationships:

Mabel: Twin Sister

Bill: Online best friend

Pacifica: Frenemy

Wendy: Crush

Fetch Modus: Wallet

Mabel Pines

Prospit Dreamer

Chumhandle: TwinnedBlitzkrieg

Typing Quirk: <3Types in Pink with lots of emojis and stuff!!!!!!:D

Interests: Arts and Crafts, Fiber Arts, Retro Aesthetic, Boys Boys Boys, Boy Bands, Boy Celebrities, Boys in Town, Rainbows, Children's Cartoons.

Sylph of Time: Has time travel powers in the form of a measuring tape. Mostly used to resolve paradoxes and help teammates in times of crisis with knowledge from the future.

Planet: Land of Rainbows and Candy

Denizen: Hephaestus

Strife Specibus: Harpoonkind (her grappling hook falls under this category)

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Stanley Pines (Secondary Genetics: Reshuffled)

Relationships:

Dipper:Twin brother, best friend!

Bill: An obnoxious online presence, what a troll. >:(

Gideon: A little creep who doesn't know when to take a hint.

Candy and Grenda (Nonplayers): Girlfriends!!!!

Fetch Modus: Chutes and Ladders – Creates a virtual grid structure connected by a complex series of ladders and slides. Each square holds one object.

Pacifica Northwest

Derse dreamer

Chumhandle: MagellansMascot

Typing Quirk: Types like a normal person, but in a particular shade of blue.

Interests: Expensive jewelry, Fashion, Minigolf, History, Makeup, Photography, High Art, Buried Treasure, Conspiracy Theories, and Fast Food.

Rogue of Blood: The ectobiologist of this session, and thoroughly freaked out by it. Creates all the paradox clones with the help of a paradoxed note from Mabel in the future. Gains unusual powers of persuasion on entering the game.

Planet: Land of Gold and Roads

Denizen: Nyx

Strife Specibus: Malletkind (uses croquet mallets)

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Mrs. Northwest (Direct Clone)

Relationships:

Dipper: Frenemy/possible crush

Mabel: Frenemy

Soos: A feeling of fondness, in spite of herself.

Mr. Northwest (nonplayer): Hated, especially his stupid little bell.

Fetch Modus: Professional Storage – every time she accesses her inventory, she must pay the rent for the item she retrieves. Cost differs depending on size/value of object, and amount of time kept in the Modus.

Gideon Gleeful

Derse Dreamer

Chumhandle: PsychicSweetheart

Typing Quirk: Types in purple, and makes peoples names (ex: MABEL loves GIDEON) all caps.

Interests: Magic and the Occult, Mabel, Power, Showmanship, Demonology (though he's not actually very well-versed), Clowns, and Cults.

Thief of Mind: Has the ability to steal useful memories from enemies.

Planet: Land of Ice and Dragons

Denizen: Charbydis

Strife Specibus: Robokind (has robots built to fight for him)

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Mr. Gleeful (Secondary Genetic Donor: Genetic Reshuffle)

Relationships:

Mabel: Crush

Dipper: Archrival (nonkismetic)

Bill: Mentor/Ally

Stanley Pines: Lesser Rival

Fetch Modus: Black Tie – a specific tie type and knot must be chosen for each item stored, and tied. Must be untied to access item. No knot may be used twice for different items – exceptions are for items under the same category as an item already held.

Jesus “Soos” Ramirez

Prospit Dreamer

Chumhandle: GregariousGamer

Typing Quirk: lol just types in lowercase with no punctuation dude might pick a color later idk

Interests: Car engines, Fixing old broken things, Arcades/games in general, junk food, charity/helping people, Anime, and EDM.

Mage of Breath: Uses wind spells?

Planet: Land of Palms and Dice

Denizen: Abraxas

Strife Specibus: Wrenchkind

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Abuelita (Secondary Genetic Donor: Stanley Pines)

Relationships:

Dipper & Mabel: Little buddies! Like the siblings he never had growing up.

Wendy: Cool friend/coworker

Stanley Pines: Father figure

Abuelita: Guardian

Fetch Modus: Tool Belt – simple as can be.

Wendy Corduroy

Prospit Dreamer

Chumhandle: BadassCucumber

Typing Quirk: types in lowercase and green.

Interests: Hiking, Woodland scavenging, exploring abandoned buildings, Hunting, Fishing, Kayaking, Woodcarving, Old Horror Movies, and Motorcycles.

Bard of Life: power to heal her teammates' wounds and regenerate during fights.

Planet: Land of Forest and Thread

Denizen: Yaldabaoth

Strife Specibus: Axekind

Species: Human

Guardian Ancestor: Manly Dan (Secondary Genetics: Reshuffled)

Relationships:

Soos: Coworker/friend

Mabel & Dipper: Younger friends

TentacleTherapist: A mysterious self-dubbed “online benefactor” sending Wendy tips and information about the game Sburb. Has impossible knowledge of Wendy's life, and implies that the stakes for this so-called game are much higher than they sound.

Robbie (nonplayer): on-again-off-again boyfriend

Fetch Modus: Toolbelt (recommended by Soos)

The Zodiac

The six players are all displayed on this AU's version of the Cipher Zodiac as their aspects – each of them has their guardian's symbol on the opposite side of the wheel:

Dipper: Space Symbol – Stanford: Six-fingered Hand

Mabel: Time Symbol – Stanley: Fez Symbol

Pacifica: Blood Symbol – Mrs. Northwest: Compass

Gideon: Mind Symbol – Mr. Gleeful: Five-Pointed Star, reversed

Soos: Breath Symbol – Abuelita: Rosy Cross

Wendy: Life Symbol – Manly Dan: Axe in a Stump

This version of the prophecy states that the players and their guardians will either defeat Bill, or “raise him to heights greater than a god.”

If  the session is Scratched, then the B timeline's Zodiac will have the guardians displayed as their aspects, and our main players as their canon symbols.

[detectivejigsawpines]

Relatively Relativity-part 1 (if you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise)

The Pineses go on a hiking trip one nice sunny day, and return...not quite how they were when they left.

Major thanks to DarylStorey for helping me brainstorm this story.

“WHOO-HOO!!!!  YEAH!!!!  LET’S DO THIS!!!!”

Mabel burst out the door of the Stanley Mobile like a multicolored comet, surging towards the trailhead at a speed that nearly broke the sound barrier and barely even being slowed down by the massive purple backpack she was wearing.  It wasn’t until she’d reached it that she turned around and realized that her family was still taking their time catching up to her.

“C’mon guys, what’s the hold-up?” she pleaded, sprinting back across the parking lot to them.  “We’ve got an adventure to go on, and lots of cool plants and animals to see!  Let’s put some hustle in it, people!”

Stan stepped out of the car at a far more leisurely pace, looking less than thrilled about having to be awake at this ungodly hour of the morning (Ford had insisted that they go as early in the day as possible to avoid the heat and mosquitos).  He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and muttered, “Hold up, sweetie, not all of us’ve got young legs like you.”

“Ugggghhhh, you guys are so slow!”  Mabel ran over to Dipper and tugged his hand impatiently.  “C’mon, let’s see if we can get to the main trail before the old fossils!”

“Who’re you calling an old fossil?!” Ford demanded in mock indignation.  “I can easily get there before you, missy!”

“Five bucks says you can’t!”

“You’re on!”

Seconds later they were both racing into the woods, leaving Stan and Dipper in the dust.

Stan glanced down at Dipper.  “Surprised you’re not getting in on that.”

The boy grimaced.  “You kidding?  There’s no way I’d beat either of them.  Mabel drank a whole pitcher of Mabel Juice this morning, and Ford’s...Ford.”

One bushy gray eyebrow raised, but Stan couldn’t help feeling a little pleased that the kid seemed a lot less insecure about his physical deficiencies than he would have been the summer before, when he was obsessed with trying to become more “manly.”

Now, though, he seemed content for the time being to trot along at Stan’s side, looking around for any unusual creatures that might be in the underbrush and absentmindedly clicking a pen with his thumb, while his other hand already had his pine tree journal open in case he saw something worth sketching.

Up ahead, they could hear excited crashing and whooping; seconds later there was a loud humming noise, followed by Mabel yelling, “Hey, no fair!”

“Completely fair!” Ford retorted, “You brought out your grappling hook, so I get to use the anti-gravity application on my watch!”

Stan and Dipper rolled their eyes in unison.

“Yeah, I’d definitely lose,” Dipper sighed in resignation as they rounded the bend in time to see Mabel trying ineffectively to slow Ford down by leaping from the branch she’d grappled onto and grabbing him around the legs.

********

Eventually all members of the Pines family were back on solid ground, and they began their hike.  Stan and Ford told the kids stories about some of their adventures on the high seas, and in return the kids talked about what junior high school was like (mostly pretty terrible, since junior high is one of the greatest sources of evil since the Spanish Inquisition).  Both old men sympathized with their struggles, remembering all too well how difficult being a teenager was, even when you’d just barely joined the world of angst and acne.

“Of course, it has its good points too,” Ford pointed out.  “You don’t have to be in old creaky bodies like we are.”

Dipper harrumphed.  “I’d take dealing with that over puberty any day of the week.”

“Yeah, at least then I wouldn’t have to be worried about starting my period,” Mabel said with a grimace.

All three men glanced at her uneasily out of the corner of their eyes.

“...Have you…?” Ford started to ask.

“No, but Mom says I’m old enough that I’ll probably get my first one soon.”  Despite how uncomfortable a topic this was for her, she had to smother a giggle at how her grunkles and her brother all looked like they were seconds away from running away screaming.

At last Dipper cleared his throat and changed the subject.

“Besides, if I was a grownup then I could go into stores and buy pretty much whatever I wanted.”

“Yeah!” Mabel brightened.  “Like age-inappropriate romance novels, or a bunch of puppies from PetsMart!”

Stan snorted, and affectionately rubbed his knuckles against her head.  “Just so long as you never grow up too much.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” she promised, before gasping in delight and going over to the side of the trail to admire a particularly vibrant flower.

“Hey, Grunkle Ford, do you know what kinda flower this is?”

Ford came over to see it, and his eyes widened behind their glasses.  “...Oh my.  I’ve never seen one of those before.”

Stan and Dipper peered curiously over their shoulders at it.

It was, indeed, an exceptionally beautiful flower; it looked kind of like a wild rose, except that instead of being pink, its petals were a deep royal blue, and glowing faintly in the pale morning light.

Almost in unison Ford and Dipper grabbed their journals and started sketching it.

“It looks similar to some of the plants I saw in this one dimension,” Ford murmured, “except those were sentient, and generally tried to eat anyone who got too close.”

Dipper looked uneasy, and after a second he tugged on Mabel’s shoulder, pulling her back from getting too close to it.  She was a little annoyed, but didn’t shove him off like she would have the year before.

“Do you think it’s magic?” Dipper asked.  “I’m pretty sure the fact that it’s glowing means it’s gotta have some kinda magic, right?”

“In this forest, I wouldn’t doubt that it does,” Ford agreed.  He sighed in annoyance.  “I knew I should have packed my thaumometer for the hike!  Why didn’t you remind me to pack my thaumometer, Stanley?”

“Probably cuz I was thinkin’ about more important things like how much I wanted ta go back ta sleep,” Stan retorted.

“Uh, is it just me, or is the glow getting brighter?”

It wasn’t just Dipper.

What’s more, as the four of them watched, the petals began to move, waving back and forth even though there wasn’t that strong of a breeze.  As if that wasn’t weird enough, the petals started waving a little faster, and as they did, the glow that was on them started to...rise from them.

No, really; before their eyes it lifted into the air as a sort of pollen, doing a little dance in the beam of sunlight above the flower and growing into an ever-increasing spiral, showing a lot more pollen than you’d think would be possible from one single flower.

Dipper blinked, and swallowed nervously.

“Um, guys?  In situations like this, this is when really bad things start to happen.  Maybe we should-”

The pollen cloud hit him right in the face.

********

Apparently it had smacked into everyone else too; as Dipper closed his eyes and coughed and sneezed, he could hear his family making similar noises.

It was everywhere, getting in his hair, on his clothes, even inside his clothes and making him even itchier than usual, oh come on!

Dipper stumbled back, scratching frantically and trying to spit out some of the stuff that had somehow landed in his mouth, gross!

“Ugh, what the heck?!  That stuff tastes like mothballs!”

Dipper froze.

...That voice didn’t belong to anyone in his family.  It was a voice belonging to a young boy, probably someone about his age.

“...Who said that?”

Dipper clamped his hands over his mouth with a frightened squeak when he heard his own voice; it sounded...wrong, somehow.  Like it had actually gotten deeper, like in that story he’d told about drinking a potion that made him sound like a TV announcer!

Hesitantly he opened his eyes, blinking away any traces of the pollen that were left, looking for his family-

And came face to face with a startled-looking old woman in a baggy purple sweater.

“Aaaah!  Who are you!  What did you do to us?!” he demanded, lurching back and putting up his fists.  Then he quickly slipped off his backpack and whirled to pull out the knife he kept in there-he didn’t know what use it’d be against a witch or whatever she was but it was better than nothing-but then two things happened at once.

One: a sudden sharp pain locked up in the small of his back, nearly pitching him to the ground with how bad it was.

Two: he got a good look at his hands.

Something was wrong with Dipper’s hands.

They were twice the size he remembered them being when he first woke up this morning, and all weird and wrinkly-looking, with a few blue veins standing out against the knuckles.

Dipper let his backpack fall to the ground, stammering in horror.

“What-what the-”

“...Dipper?” the old woman’s voice quavered behind him.  “Is that you?  It’s me, Mabel.”

Dipper slowly turned back around, managing to straighten up with an effort, and looked at the woman again, more closely this time.

She looked just as frightened and confused as he was right now, with a lock of her long gray hair clenched between her fingers on the left side of her head and being wrung in her hands.  Her sweater looked a lot like the one Mabel had been wearing, except older and less sparkly.

Dipper looked into her eyes.

“...Mabel?”

“Yeah, it’s me, bro-bro.”  She tried to smile.

Just then something moved in the corner of Dipper’s line of vision, and he turned his head to see two boys standing there and rubbing pollen out of their eyes.

One of them was wearing a tiny tan trench coat and a red woolly beanie, and when he opened his mouth to cough out some more pollen Dipper could see he had a tooth missing.  The other one wore a red turtleneck with a blue coat over it, and had a pair of large spectacles perched on the end of his nose.  He staggered a little, and pushed them up with two fingers.  Allowing Dipper to see that his hand had an extra finger on the end.

The boy saw Dipper staring at him in dawning horror, and his eyes widened.

“Dipper?  Are you-are you and Mabel old?!”

“Grunkle Stan?!  Grunkle Ford?!”  Mabel crouched down and stared at the boys slack-jawed.  “Are you guys young?!”

********

There was a moment of silence.

Then a flock of birds was startled by four voices all screaming in unison.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 77, Part 1

Ah boy time to start arc 8′s mini arc that everyone keeps forgetting about in the shortest chapter UF has had in a LONG while. Also I wrote this in like, the span of 12 hours so... ya know. Enjoy! (also please don’t read this on here, dumblr won’t carry over how this is SUPPOSED to be formatted so please go read it on Ao3 or FF.net to get the experience of how this chapter is SUPPOSED to look) 

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/190860858504/universe-falls-chapter-76

***

Chapter 77: Adventures in the Multiverse

Part 1: The Nightmare Realm

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Within the quiet solitude of his private study in the second sublevel below the shack, Ford had always found that he’d been able to find comfort and solace solely in the simplicity of his own research. Even thirty years ago, the author would frequently retreat to this tranquil space, take a seat in his favorite chair at his favorite desk, and lose himself in his work on the journals, eagerly documenting his latest discoveries within the pages of his trio of journals. Away from the world and awash in his own thoughts, reflections, and recollections, a better place to be some nights than others, especially when it came to the nights when it had still been him sitting at that desk, only with someone else taking the reigns of his mind instead. 

Yet that was far from the case on this particular night as Ford described the latest happenings in the later pages of his lattermost journal. A rather uneventful entry given that the day had been sparse of any supernatural or alien encounters, yet the author still found documenting his thoughts and observations a worthy use of his time all the same. 

Once again I was faced with an all-too familiar question today, one that I’ve been hearing more and more frequently from the children as of late. First it came from Dipper, not surprising given his admirable drive to learn and discover everything and anything he can (not unlike myself when I was younger). Then it came from Steven, likely as a result of the Gems leaving him out of the loop (I’ve come to understand they tend to do that to him from time to time, poor lad). But oddly enough, today it came from Mabel, which admittedly caught me off guard. Perhaps curiosity has been getting the better of all three of them in their recent idle time. Even so, as usual, I had no suitable answer to that inquiry. Sometimes it seems as though I never really will either. 

The author paused his pen, letting out a long sigh as he glanced up from the journal to the flickering candlelight coming from the wick set before him. He’d never been particularly fond of dwelling on the past and yet he constantly found himself doing so all the same whether he wanted to or not. And yet this, like many things he’d been through back in the day, was one lengthy span of time he was far from keen on dwelling on. 

Which was exactly why he tried everything he could to avoid it. And yet that familiar question, whether it was from one of the kids, one of the Gems, or someone else entirely, still always seemed to follow him all the same:��

“Where were you for the past 30 years?”

It’s not that I’m afraid or even that hesitant to discuss any of it. The problem is, I never know how to begin or what to reveal. A lot can happen in the span of 30 years, and in my case, a great deal did happen. Moments of triumph, moments of despair, moments of fear, spread so far and so broad across so many scattered dimensions. Some days it feels as though it’s not over yet, even now that I’m back in the comfort of my own home. It’s hard to say if I’ll ever truly be able to make sense of it all, but… maybe it might be worth the effort to, at the very least, try. 

Try. Try to confront something that he’d been avoiding ever since he stepped through the portal back into his basement lab. Try to stitch together the pieces of a story that spanned worlds, galaxies, even dimensions themselves. Try to face a past he’d just as rather leave behind entirely. 

I suppose trying is the best I can do in this case. And perhaps writing about some of it here will help me get my thoughts in order. Perhaps it’s time I finally reveal… 

My Journey

I remember those first moments after I was cast into the portal like it was yesterday. 

"Stanley! Please! Tell Rose Quartz I’m sorry!” His last message to his brother, or more precisely, to the pink Gem, echoed all around him through the bright white void he’d found himself sucked into. A void that led to what could very well become his demise, a thought that he barely even had time to grapple with as he tumbled through the empty light. 

The sudden feeling of weightlessness, the helpless terror, knowing that I would soon face whatever mysterious horror had driven Fiddleford to madness. 

As I felt myself being sucked away from my home (a dimension I would come to learn is referred to in the multiverse as 514÷Y), I held my breath and accepted that this could be the end. 

As luck would have it, it was only the beginning. 

In a startling flash, the white void faded away, finally allowing Ford his first (albeit somewhat blurry) glimpse as to what lay beyond it. Initially, it almost looked like a vast expanse of endless stars, much like an earthly spacescape would appear. Yet in a striking instant, that all changed, the stars burning out as the dark skies turned blood crimson. From there, that red violently exploded into a sickening shade of green, mingled with clashing pinks and oranges. Over and over again, the expanse shifted colors, constantly changing on its own wild whims as it swirled with a chaotic, unstable sort of energy, one that Ford could feel from the moment he found himself caught within it. 

Swimming through the gravity-free area of lightning and swirling colors, I reached into my pocket for a spare pair of glasses (always handy, considering how often I break them) and found myself staring at, quite literally, a living nightmare. 

As a speeding torrent of blazing asteroids rushed past him, the author jolted with fear, still largely overwhelmed with shock to do much else. Disoriented as he was, some small part of his mind still tried clinging onto logic amidst the dangerous disorder he was now lost within. And as he took another look around his hectic new surroundings, he starkly realized where it all was.

“And what is on the other side of that portal, Ford?” Rose had asked him, her voice tight and intense with growing dread. 

“What did you really have us build down here, Stanford?” Pearl had demanded harshly, glaring at him with immense suspicion all the while. “A portal to another dimension, or something far more sinister?” 

“I know what I saw in there!” Fiddleford had cried in a wild-eyed panic as he pointed an accusing finger at the portal he’d just barely been recovered from. “It was a nightmare, plain n’ simple!”

“Let’s just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is really gonna learn how to PARTY! Right guys?” Bill had cheerfully encouraged his “friends”, a group of ghouls and monsters all eagerly awaiting the portal’s completion just as much as the dream demon himself was. Something that their sinister whispers had been reminding him of on a near-constant, maddening loop for the past several weeks now: 

“The door is open…”

Ford gasped, much louder than he had meant to as the sound echoed through the immense empty space around him. His heart was hammering his chest, his panic rising as he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly where he now was. 

I found myself sucked through the door to the place Bill had designated the portal to access, a place called many different things: the dimension between dimensions, the in-between space, the gateway to other worlds… 

The Nightmare Realm. The very place Bill Cipher himself calls home. 

Bill’s universe is not exactly a dimension, but rather a boiling, shifting, intergalactic foam between dimensions--a lawless, unstable crawl space between worlds that only the strangest and most unknowable beings call home. And as the portal closed behind me, I found myself trapped there, possibly for eternity. 

The entirety of the Nightmare Realm rippled with yet another wave of electric, chaotic energy, one that rattled Ford to the core with terror just as much as all of the others had before it. And yet, this one was the most terrifying by far as he spun around in the weightless space-scape, only to find a sight that made his heart sink all the way to his stomach. For the very same white void he’d emerged here from, the portal itself, his sole gateway back home to everything he’d ever known, simply exploded. In a burst of blinding, bitter light, it was wiped away like a star in a supernova, leaving nothing, no gateway out, no way to escape, left in its wake. 

He was trapped here, armed with only the clothes on his back and nothing else to ensure his survival. The chances of which, he knew, were likely ridiculously low, if they were even existent at all. He was lost, with no hope and no help. For certainly, no one would be able to come to his rescue in a place like this; not Stan, not Fiddleford, not any of the Gems, not even Rose herself. And that was perhaps the very worst part of it all: he was alone. 

Though the truth of it was, he wasn’t as alone as he thought. Though considering the company that was about to find him, he’d very soon wish he was. 

The constant dull, inconsistent clamor that filled the Nightmare Realm was suddenly broken, shattered like glass with a piercing, shrill laugh that Ford was far too familiar with by this point. Once again, the realm shifted, landing the author in another setting entirely, one streaked in sharp shadows and the bright, bizarre sets of eyes that belonged to those shadows. Yet Ford hardly paid them any mind as he instead seized up with fear while that laugh, that wild, insane, undeniable laugh rang loud and clear in his ears, just as it had in the fitful nightmares he’d been having as of late. 

He knew exactly what he’d find if he turned around, exactly who he’d have to face. And worse yet, this time, he wouldn’t merely be facing him in dreams; he’d be facing him on his own home turf. Quite frankly, he was surprised that the dream demon hadn’t already killed him the moment he found him in his realm. But Bill was never one to get to the point, which was why Ford figured he’d do so instead. 

Before I had a moment to properly panic over my fate, I realized that I was hovering before Bill himself, who was perched on a bizarre throne made of optical illusions, flanked by an army of strange and shadowy beasts. 

On his throne, Bill sat surprisingly calmly, as if he was hardly even surprised to see Ford, of all people in the dimension he called home. If anything, the dream demon seemed delighted, leaning forward slightly as he finally greeted the terrified author as brightly as he always did. “Look who finally decided to pay me a visit!” he quipped, his voice echoing through the infinity all around them. “Not that I wasn’t expecting you to show up, Sixer. After your poor buddy Glasses got a glimpse of the place a few weeks ago, I knew you wouldn’t be too far behind!”

This callous mention of his former friend was finally enough to shake Ford out of his initial fear, setting him off with a fuel of righteous fury toward the demon who had been tormenting him for so long now. “B-Bill…” he began, forcing himself to be steady in the face of his hated foe. “I-if you think you’ve won, then you’re sorely mistaken. I don’t know if you just saw what I did, but the portal closed. It’s over, Cipher. You lose!”

Despite this bold claim, Bill simply let out another haughty laugh, hovering off his throne a bit to gain even more height as he towered high above the author. “Aw, c’mon, Fordsy, don’t tell me you’re THAT deluded! You really think that portal of yours shutting itself down is gonna stop me? Some dumb sap is bound to come along and get it running again eventually. And till then, I’ve got all the time in the world to wait. Unlike you, Sixer. Get it? ‘Cause your time is about to run out? It’s FUNNY!”

“You’re wrong!” Ford shot back fiercely. “That portal will never reopen again, Rose will make sure of it! I know she will!”

“Oh yeah, cause ol’ Quartzy is soooo reliable,” Bill rolled his eye. “That’s why she left you hanging out to dry when your first test run went south, huh? Or why she’s NOT here to save you, her human of the week or the decade or whatever, from me! Right? RIGHT?”

“I-I don’t want her to come here to save me!” the author argued, his hands clenched in tight fists at his sides. “I don’t want anyone ever opening that portal; it should have been destroyed, just like Rose said.” Ford paused at this, letting out a sad, remorseful sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And if I’d just listened to her in the first place, then I wouldn’t have ended up here…”

“Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, but you DIDN’T!” the dream demon mocked almost mirthfully, clearly taking pleasure in this entire situation as a whole. “But tell me, Sixer; wouldn’t you want somebody to get that portal up and running again? It’d give you a chance to get out of here, prolong your ultimately destined-to-end-anyway life a bit instead of having it cut short just by being here! After all, humans don’t tend to last long in the Nightmare Realm. We play a bit… rough around here, don’t we, boys?”

Bill’s horde of accompanying, unknown demons all let out a round of hearty, sadistic chuckles at this, laughter that sent a chill down Ford’s spine yet he refused to back down regardless. “I don’t care about going back to my own dimension,” he said firmly, and he meant it. After all, it wasn’t like there was very much left there for him anyway now. “Just as long as you’re kept out of it too, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Aw, so Brainiac wants to play the big, tough hero now, huh?” Bill scoffed flippantly. “Hate to break it to ya, Sixer, but I’m bound to get what I want either way. But it’s a shame you won’t be around to watch me tear the fabric of your dimension to shreds and grind those Crystal Chumps you care so much about to spacedust. ‘Cause ya see, Stanford, I’m not the one who’s about to lose here. YOU ARE!”

The dream demon’s golden form turned a harsh, deadly red at this, his eye pitch black as its white pupil glared down at the frightened author relentlessly. And as his usual bright blue flames erupted all around him, his eagerly watching cronies and cohorts all began to gather in closer, ready to attack. 

“CARE FOR A GAME OF INTERGALACTIC CHESS?!” Bill shrieked, his booming voice rattling the entire Nightmare Realm as it took on the same sort of aggressive crimson as its king. “THIS TIME, YOU’RE THE PAWN!” 

He snapped his fingers and one of his beasts, a 60-foot-fall ball of fingers and teeth, let out a howl like a humpback whale and charged a me, fingers and teeth wiggling and gnashing! Though I hadn’t had much time to think or plan since my arrival in the Nightmare Realm, I knew right off the bat that escaping was my only chance at survival. 

Acting on adrenaline and instinct, Ford forced himself to spin around amidst the gravity-free expanse, frantically swimming forward in midair as the monster lunged toward him hungrily. It nearly caught him too, though the author barely managed to outmaneuver it, dodging its path in just the nick of time. Still, he was close enough to it as it passed him by to give him a window of opportunity, exactly the one he needed to get away. 

For right as the creature began turning itself back around, Ford pushed himself to “jump” onto one of its many massive hands, using it as something of a springboard to propel himself away from the monster entirely. With this newfound momentum, the author sailed through the ever-changing realm quite a distance, putting some much-needed distance between himself and the monster as it attempted to right itself and go after him. 

And in time, it did so, tailing him as he continued pushing himself through space with as much force and speed as he possibly could. However, the monster was every bit as persistent as he was, intent on acting on Bill’s orders and catching its prey as it continued the chase without any signs of ceasing. Fortunately for Ford, however, as he turned his sights forward once again, he found just the cover he needed to end it. Or at the very least, give him a much-needed chance to breathe amidst all of the endless insanity he was up against. 

I managed to hide behind an asteroid field in the nick of time as the monstrosity passed me by, and I swam through the air in a panic as multiple beasts tore through the space rocks, searching for me.

As the author took refuge in a dense collection of asteroids, he could hear a series of approaching roars and rumbles, no doubt from all of Bill’s other beasts as they all assembled to go after him as well. Unsure of what else to do, Ford pressed tight against one of the larger rocks, hoping that he wouldn't be seen. Without any sort of weapon to speak of, there would be no fighting back against creatures as dangerous and unpredictable as these, which meant that escaping from them as all he could really do. Or, at the very least, hiding in the hopes that he could come up with some sort of plan to put an end to this madness before it was too late. And fortunately, it seemed as though some small shamble of luck was still somehow on his side in his otherwise luckless plight. For as he dashed toward another asteroid to hide behind, he happened to spot an even better escape instead. 

Fleeing for my life, I miraculously managed to take shelter in the crater of a large passing asteroid as the monsters swarmed by. Hidden deep within the recesses of the stony caverns, I could hear Bill’s shrill voice: 

“SIXER WANTS TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK! FIRST ONE TO FIND HIM AND BRING HiM TO ME GETS THEIR OWN GALAXY!”

It was followed by the manic laughter of creatures large and small racing off to locate me. I was so crazed from fatigue and rage that my first impulse was to give myself up to Bill so I could curse him right to his face. And at the time, I figured I might as well do exactly that since the chances of me realistically making it out of the hellish dimension I was now trapped in here were essentially none. 

With Bill’s horde of monsters and demons successfully evaded for the time being, Ford had finally found a moment to rest, not that he actually found any such solace in it though. Instead, the author slumped down against the cavern wall, staring off into the immense darkness ahead so he wouldn’t have to look back into the endlessly shifting scape of the Nightmare Realm in its place. 

Had it really just been mere moments ago that he had been standing back in his own basement lab, face to face with his twin brother? Had it really been a mere moment, just one unfortunate second that had turned his life upside down, or rather, had ruined it completely? The author knew he had a long list of people he could pin the blame on for his disastrous plight: Stan, Bill, himself. And yet that blame would hardly do him much good here. Because as long as he remained entrenched in the horrors of the Nightmare Realm, then he was essentially just waiting to die. 

The moment he realized this fact was the same moment he realized he was shaking, his hands trembling with cold fear that had filled him from the second he arrived in this awful place. When he had been a young, innocent boy, he’d always dreamed of going on some grand, high-stakes adventure, a dream that both him and Stan had shared. But now that he was actually living that dream, or nightmare rather, it was far from anything he’d once hoped it would be. 

Amidst that chilling terror, he could also feel warmth, building up behind his eyes as they started to turn wet. A small sob choked its way out of his throat as he hugged his knees close to his chest. Briefly, he was finally able to take stock of his tattered lab coat, his fresh pair of glasses already slightly cracked from the fray he’d narrowly managed to escape. Yet none of that even remotely mattered to him now. What did matter were all of the things he was all-too-quickly realizing he’d never get to do. 

He’d never see his home again, be within the familiarity of the house that sat in the shadow of a temple he’d come to see as a beacon of hope and security. He’d never see the constant stars resting over the peaceful waters of the lake or hear the morning birds greet another crisp Oregonian morning. He’d never write within the pages of his treasured journals, or explore all that the strange, yet beautiful town of Gravity Falls, a place he’d come to lose so much in such a short amount of time.

He’d never get to make amends with Fiddleford for the harrowing experience he’d put him through. He’d never get to apologize to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl for dragging them into his disaster. He’d never be able to tell Rose just how much he valued her friendship, how much he wished he could win her trust back and how much he had trusted her, how he still trusted her, even despite everything, in turn. And even though some part of him was furious, outraged that Stan’s foolishness had gotten him into this mess in the first place, another part of him still mourned that he’d never get to see his brother again either. 

He would never be able to go home again. And given the mounting list of disastrous mistakes he’d made, it was probably the only fate he knew he really deserved.

Ford had all but lost himself to grief over that fact when suddenly, a small, yet still prominent noise coming from deeper within the cave he’d taken shelter in. Slowly and carefully, the author rose to stand, peering deeper into the darkness where the faint whispers were coming from. He was hesitant to follow them, initially believing them to be coming from more of Bill’s henchmen, lurking in the shadows, just waiting to attack. And yet, these soft, almost scared whispers were a far cry from the raving, manic screams and shrieks of the monsters outside. Which was exactly why Ford allowed curiosity to get the better of him as he stepped into the darkness, not knowing what he’d find. 

What he did manage to find, however, was perhaps the last thing he could have ever expected. 

Pressing further ahead into the cavern, I discovered that I was sharing my hiding spot with a shivering family of intergalactic refugees. 

Sure enough, a group of four alien creatures of varying species and sizes sat, each of them bandaged and war-torn in different ways as they desperately tried to keep themselves warm around their small, strangely glittering purple fire. Ford stopped short just shy of approaching them, stunned by their presence as they were by his when they caught sight of him. And yet, instead of pulling out any sort of weapons to attack, the group offered the author a series of sympathetic, consoling looks as their leader, squat, snaggletoothed, guinea pig-like creature with an eyepatch and a mechanical arm, calmly beckoned him forward. 

“You lost your way out there too?” he asked with something of a folksy draw to his tone. “Can’t blame ya, you wouldn’t be the first. C'mere and join the rest of us lost souls. Warmin’ up ‘round the fire is leagues better than tryin’ your chances out there, that’s for sure.”

Ford said nothing at first, eyeing the group warily until he realized their leader was right. At the very least, these creatures didn’t see intent on eating him alive like Bill’s were. 

“T-thank you,” the author said, holding his hands out toward the violet flames in the hopes that the warmth would finally cease their endless shaking. “If you don’t mind me asking… what exactly are all of you and… what are you doing in… well, to put it lightly, here?”

“Heh,” one of the other members of the group, a small, somewhat pig-like creature chuckled bitterly. “Ain’t that the story of the multiverse?”

“A tale of great sadness and woe indeed,” the most reptilian creature of the group, complete with a long neck and a bandaged stub of an arm shook his head morosely. 

“One that’s probably not bound to get a happy ending at this point,” the final member of the group, a horned, fanged creature sighed tiredly. 

“But before we get into that depress fest,” the leader grumbled, shaking his head at his despairing friends. “Allow us to introduce ourselves first. The name’s Yottos. Put ‘er there.” Ford shook the robotic hand Yottos offered to him before he began to go through the rest of the refugees. “That’s Hocoh,” he nodded to the pig-like creature on the other side of the fire. “He’s Qharquains.” The reptilian creature waved his stub of a bandaged arm in greeting. “And he’s-”

“I’m George,” the horned creature finished bluntly, catching the author quite off guard. 

“Huh… that’s a… surprisingly normal name,” Ford pointed out with a frown. 

“You kiddin’? It’s the strangest name in the whole dang multiverse!” Hocoh laughed, slapping his knee. Likewise, Yottos and Qharquains also joined in on the bout of laughter, flustering George in the process. 

“So you guys keep saying!” he grumbled petulantly. “Y-you’re just mad ‘cause your names aren’t as cool as mine! You!” he looked to Ford somewhat suspiciously. “What’s your name, newbie?”

“Oh, I-I’m Stanford,” the author introduced himself. “Stanford Pines.”

The refugees fell silent at this as they all looked to the author incredulously. “Hm. And I thought George was an odd name...” Qharquains remarked, eliciting another frustrated growl from George as the other two refugees laughed once more. 

“Guys! Stop it!” 

“Now then, Stanford Pines,” Yottos began, his tone turning serious as he looked to the author once more. “Ya asked for our story and here it is. We were just a bunch of humble asteroid miners, hard at work for an honest day’s livin on the stardust fields just off of Oloxion 9.”

“We were just ‘bout to head home for the day when BAM! FLASH!” Hocoh exclaimed dramatically. “A GIANT wormhole shows up, clean outta nowhere, and sucks our ship inside with all us on it!”

“When we all came to, we found ourselves drifting here, within the forbidden gateway between worlds,” Qharquains explained evenly. “With our ship irreparably damaged, we were lost, in the very place where all things in the multiverse that go missing tend to end up in.”

“We barely managed to escape from all of those… horrible monsters…” George shuddered fearfully. “And we’ve been hiding out here ever since, both from them… and… f-from him…”

“...You mean… Bill?” Ford ventured, only to receive a sharp and sudden reaction from the refugees. A round of horrified shrieks rose up from the group, panic filling their expressions as they covered their ears to try to avoid hearing the dream demon’s name in any way possible. Somewhat confused, the author looked between the frightened members of the group, both understanding their alarm and trying to make sense of it all at the same time. “Is… something wrong?”

“Do not speak the demon’s name!” Qharquains warned fearfully. “He has ears everywhere here…”

“He’ll hear you, t-then show up here, a-and DESTROY US ALL!” George cried, shaking as he pulled his hood over his eyes. 

“If you’re here, then you gotta know,” Hocoh said sternly, seriously. “That demon, nah, that monster is nothin’ but trouble!”

“Tch, don’t I know it,” Ford scoffed bitterly, crossing his arms. “Believe it or not, I used to consider Bill--er, t-that… demon,” the author corrected himself as the refugees shrunk back in terror once more. “To be my muse. I let him influence me, trick me, into building an interdimensional portal and it’s because of that portal that I ended up here in the first place… And all because I stubbornly refused to listen to my closest friend when she told me he was not to be trusted…”

“Your friend sounds like she’s got a good head on her shoulders,” Yottos nodded in agreement. “Cause she’s right. Ya can’t trust a monster like him. In fact, you’d be pretty stupid to even listen to a single word he has to say!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t know,” George shook his head incredulously. “That demon’s one of the most feared beings in the whole multiverse! Everybody, and I mean everybody knows he’s always been bad news and will always be bad news!”

“Legend has it that he took over this realm eons ago,” Qharquains said gravely. “He used it as a hideout for himself and his equally chaotic allies, a place just as lawless and insane as they are. However, the Nightmare Realm is doomed for destruction. It has no consistent physics that it can adhere to, nothing to keep it stable. Which is why, in time, it will eventually implode, taking everything and everyone that calls it home with it.”

“So… that must be why Bill was so intent on that portal being built…” Ford muttered to himself, finally understanding the scope of the dream demon’s plan. 

The Nightmare Realm… a dimension between dimensions that was never meant to exist in the first place. A plane of chaos and disaster so immense that even the multiverse itself wants it gone. That’s why Bill seeks a new, more stable dimension to take over, much like he had his current ruinous home, and a foolish mind willing to let him in. A mind like mine. 

“I’m going to stop him!” Ford exclaimed, largely without thinking. The refugees all turned to him, dumbfounded and stunned, especially as he explained himself further. “If Bill--if that demon really does pose such a large threat to both my home and the the multiverse as a whole as you say, then someone needs to put an end to his destructive plans. And that someone is going to be me.”

“B-but that’s crazy!” George balked in utter disbelief.

“What makes you think you’ll stand a chance against someone as powerful as that demon?” Hocoh asked, not buying the author’s verve. “Nobody who’s ever tried standin’ up to him has ever lived to tell the tale.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Ford shook his head, resolved. “He has to be stopped, some way or another. Before he really can escape the Nightmare Realm. Too many lives have been ruined because of his antics, including my own. That’s why it’s time to put an end to him, to prevent him from ruining any more.”

“Tch, you’re not all there, are ya, Stanford Pines?” Yottos asked, finally cracking a wry smile. “Still, ya got guts, and we can’t help but respect that, can we, boys?” The other refugees all nodded in agreement at this, though it was clear they were still rather baffled by Ford’s unflinching determination all the same. “If you’re really dead set on facin’ that demon, then let us help ya out.” Yottos dug into his bag of supplies, pulling out a few sets of rations, mostly made up of odd, compressed mush that the author was completely unfamiliar with. Though at this point, he knew he couldn’t really afford to be picky when it came to what he ate out here. “Take these, and also this.” The leader presented him with some sort of electronic, bracelet-like device, one that the author couldn’t help but look over curiously as soon as he received it. 

“What is it?” he asked, fascinated. 

“Dimensional translator,” Yottos said, poking at the fire a bit. “No offense, but ya seem a bit new to the whole ‘dimensional travel’ game, so that’ll give ya a bit of an easier time when it comes to folks out there that aren’t as ‘well-spoken’ as we are. Now, it’s a bit of an older model, but it should still work just fine.”

“Right,” Ford nodded with a grateful smile as he slipped the translator on his wrist and the rations into the empty supply bag Qharquains also gave him. “Thank you all for your help. I really do hope all of you find your way back to your own home someday.”

“Eh, at this point we’re honestly just satisfied with surviving from day to day,” George shrugged. “And not getting eaten by the occasional gloop monster or eyeball beast.”

“...Um… well then,” the author cleared his throat as he segwayed into a different topic instead. “You… wouldn’t happen to know what the odds are of a portal or a wormhole opening up that would lead back to Earth, would you?”

“What’s a ‘Earth’?” Hocoh asked, completely confused. 

“I’ve never heard of that dimension before,” Qharquains said, shaking his head. “But if that is the place you call home, then I’m afraid to say that the possibility of you returning there from here, by all accounts, is quite slim.”

“That’s… exactly what I was afraid of…” Ford sighed, still just as aware as he was before of his fate. A fate that seemed quite uncertain, even now. And yet despite that uncertainty, he still clung onto a sliver of hope all the same. Not the hope that he’d ever return home; he knew that ship had sailed and sunk. But rather, the hope that he’d finally be able to stop Bill and save the world, even if it was a word he’d never be able to see again. 

So a plan began to form in my mind. I would travel from dimension to dimension, learning what I could about Bill--his weaknesses, his secrets. I’d gain my strength, bide my time, and once I was ready, I would return to the Nightmare Realm and destroy him once and for all. I might never see home again, but at least I could save the multiverse from his wrath, and wreak vengeance for the life he stole from me. 

And that was exactly what he was going to set out to do. He’d risk anything and everything just to see Bill Cipher finally meet his end. Even if his own end came right along with it. 

The refugees excitedly hailed me as a hero as I prepared to leave, bidding me the best of luck in my quest as I waved them goodbye, setting off from their asteroid to swim toward the nearest wormhole. I was ready, ready to do whatever it took to not just survive, but thrive, as I cast my fate to the wind to discover what new worlds awaited me. 

Yet as I left the Nightmare Realm and all its terrors behind, I still caught wind of one final cheer the refugees offered me. One that I still don’t know the meaning behind, even to this very day:

“Praise the Axolotl!” 

Next: 

[strange-as-it-may-seem]

Gravity Falls & ASOUE/ATWQ similarities

Gravity Falls and ASOUE/ATWQ fans! I know that those two are seemingly vastly different, but there are some similarities that might be useful is somebody is considering AU or a crossover or is just - like me - a fan of both. Warning: spoilers ahead

an eye symbol (VFD symbol + Bill’s symbol/The Society Of The Blind Eye symbol)

a lot of codes and hidden messages, maps

children save the day

actual parents of the (main) characters are nowhere to be seen 

mysterious books (Gravity Fall’s Journal + The Incomplete History Of Secret Organisations)

a mysterious writer of unknown identity connected to the older generation  that is relevant for the story yet reveals themselves to main characters at the end of it (The Author - Ford Pines + Lemony Snicket) 

twins/triplets (Dipper & Mabel, Stan & Ford + Snicket Siblings, Quagmire triplets, Denoument triplets) 

the question mark symbol (The Great Unknown/Bombinating Beast + “?” frequently appearing in GF)

hiding serious topics/genuine horror under “for kids” label

young siblings as main characters (GF and ASOUE) and just siblings, siblings, a lot of siblings everywhere (Dipper & Mabel, Stan & Ford + Snicket Siblings, Baudelaire siblings, Quagmire Siblings, Denoument siblings, Anwhistle siblings, Widdershins siblings, Haines siblings, Bellerophon siblings...)

complicated family situation

lost siblings/family members (Stan & Ford + Isadora, Duncan & Quigley; also Lemony & Kit, Jacques; Moxie’s mother)

harpoon gun & grappling hook

drama/bad things happen at the opera (The Opera Night in ASOUE & Mabel’s Sock Opera)

a mysterious object that everyone’s looking for (Bombinating Beast statue/the Sugar Bowl & the Author’s Journals) 

secret organization (VFD, Inhumane Society & The Society Of The Blind Eye) 

family secrets plus generally A LOT OF SECRETS

family members having dark past 

mysterious statue (The Bombinating Beast statue & Bill’s statue) 

mythical water monsters (Bombinating Beast, The Gobblewonker)

faking death or characters presumed dead aren’t dead (Stan Pines, Lemony Snicket)

false identity & being on the lam/running from the law (Grunkle Stan during his youth & Lemony Snicket)

submarine resembling a sea/lake monster (Carmelita & Gobblewonker) 

multiple cultural/literary/movie references 

female villain/character with a lot of money, big house/apartment and a thing for fashion (Pacifica is technically was a villain at some point & Esme Squalor) 

a small, hard to find town where weird and mysterious things happen where the villain lurks and there’s a mysterious forest (Stain’d-by-the-Sea & Gravity Falls)

fake psychic using technology to deceive people (Madame Lulu & Gideon Gleeful)

deceitful, manipulative villain (Bill & Hangfire, Count Olaf)

there is mind control (Dr Orwell’s hypnosis & Bill possessing people + the memory gun and the society Of The Blind Eye) 

adults vs children conflict at some point (ATWQ & GF)

nerdy kids

a glamorous ball happens (Northwest ball & the Duchess’ masked ball)

ineffective law enforcement

weird guardians/distant relatives with a secret past that main characters are being sent to 

money/revenge obsessed villains/characters (Count Olaf & Gideon Gleeful, Grunkle Stan (money)

not very responsible or capable guardians/chaperones/adults in general (S. Theodora Markson, ATWQ adults, most of the Baudelaire guardians & Grunkle Stan)

huge, Victorianish manors/weird houses (Baudelaire Manor, Josephine’s House & The Northwest Manor)

a lot of crime and illegal stuff happening

creative sister, fierce sister and bookworm brother (Violet & Mabel, Sunny & Mabel, Klaus & Dipper)

the main character is kinda-detective but not exactly (Dipper & Lemony) 

specific drinks that everyone constantly drinks (Pitt Cola in GF & root beer/coffee/tea in the Snicketverse)

main character’s 13th birthday & just wanting to live through said birthday (Klaus’s birthday in Vile Village jail & Dipper and Mabel’s birthday) 

a secret, hidden rooms and places (the secret room and the underground laboratories of the mystery shack & the Black Cat Coffe attic and all of the VFD secret tunnels and headquarters) 

critique of masses, social commentary

a brilliant scientist (Cleo Knight & Fiddleford McGucket, Stanford Pines)

catchy theme song 

a weird form of (local) government ( see: choosing the mayor in Gravity Falls + the whole Snicketverse)

a diner (Hungry’s & Greasy’s)

a very rich couple with a blonde daughter (Knights & Northwests, although the two are very different, I know)

using popular cultural tropes in a funny/inventive way

a lake with a monster(s) - (Lake Lachrymose Leeches & the real Gobblewonker) 

scamming people (Count Olaf & Grunkle Stan) 

annoying, scaringly cute child villain (Carmelita Spats & Gideon Gleeful)

[nautiscarader]

Nautiscarader's Wendip Week 2018 3: Combat

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Soos and Melody team up to rescue their friends. A brawl is surely brewing. Rated T for some mature innuendos and implications.

I'm gonna come out clean here: this fanfic is two years old. It has originally been written for "Seductive" prompt during Wendip Week 2016, except that year I got heavily depressed and barely finished three prompts. However, when I re-read it a few weeks ago, I discovered it was pretty much finished, and it fitted the "combat" prompt as well, so I decided to reuse it. I do hope you will forgive me that.

Wendip, Soos/Melody, Mabifica (mentioned), T, 4,5k

(Read on ao3) (read on FF) (masterpost)

Through deceptively calm waters, a medium-sized, white trawler cut through the thick fog that might have otherwise discouraged other sailors from going forward, but it was nothing to the ones aboard this particular vessel. For once, none of the passengers were actual, trained sailors, and more importantly, they were all determined to arrive at their destination as fast as possible, with one clear intention in their minds: to rescue.

Dipper Pines stood by the steering wheel, which was one just from the name. The fog wasn't a problem for the on-board GPS, though a skilled eye was still necessary to watch out for rocks or other debris. This is why Mabel, Wendy, Soos and Melody all stared ahead giving their captain warnings about oncoming danger. Or rather, they would have if any danger lied ahead. As far as anyone was concerned, it was a straightforward, almost boring route. But they all knew that something in these very waters was an obstacle so formidable, that even the combined minds and strength of both Stanley and Stanford Pines couldn't defeat it.

Of course, no one aboard had thoughts that ghastly. Communication with the Stan o' War II was cut off a bit more than a day ago, and it took all five of their closest friends and family less than few hours to gather resources, travel to, rent a boat and leave from the same port Stan and Ford sailed from almost a month earlier. Mabel insisted on taking the wheel - after all, she has spent last week or so preparing their welcome-back party, and awaited their tales more than anyone else, with the same curiosity and enthusiasm as if she was still thirteen.

But after she steered the ship in a manner so fast and reckless it almost sabotaged the entire trip, the feisty eighteen-year-old was delegated to climb to the only mast of their ship and from her non-existent crow's nest look further than anyone on board, whilst her brother took her place.

And sure enough, it was Mabel who spotted a small, rocky island and a wooden boat next to it on the horizon before it appeared on the radar.

The five adventurers gathered all at the bow, staring into the lessening fog, expecting to see their grunkles' ship in ruins. But to their surprise and relief, when their boat reached the shore, it became obvious the ship was not damaged in any observable way.  

Mabel readied her grappling hook, Wendy stayed on the board with her rifle, which she traded temporarily for her usual axe, and watched as the slightly older Pines twin shot her way to board the ship, landed swiftly on her feet, strode to the door of the cabin, and kicked the door to confront any enemies hiding there. But again, there wasn't anyone inside. The electronic devices were still on, recording the same position for the last twenty four hours, and nothing in the room indicated any signs of fight or accident that might have happened.

Mabel gave the other four signal, and they all followed her, about to see what hid in the bowels of the ship. However, that search gave them no more information on what happened to their grunkles than the previous one. Food crates, spare weapons and scientific instruments, all seemed intact.

This time, it was Dipper, who ventured forward along the island's minuscule coast and found an obvious place their grunkles would surely be in: a passage wide enough for more than two people, located between the two pillars that formed the majority of the rocky island, leading to an underground cave.

- Alright, guys. Me and Soos are going in. Don't follow us, it is dangerous in there. - Dipper stated matter-of-factly, giving nod to Soos.

He turned his back when three voices loudly protested.

- Woah, woah, woah, Dipper, what makes you think you can give us orders? - Mabel threw her arms in the air. - Yeah, Dipper, rule one in horror movies: don't split up. - Wendy accompanied her. - Or do you think that just because we're women you can leave us here and do the bravey-brave things yourselves? - Melody added mockingly.

Dipper sighed.

- No, it's nothing like that! - he responded - We don't want anything happen to you... - Oh, sure, and how many times we had to save your sorry arses? - Mabel barked back - We don't have the Y chromosome, "y" as in "Why would you think you're any better than us"? - For the record, I just think it's better if we get eaten than you guys - Soos interjected, which made Melody give the tiniest of gasps at the supposedly romantic gesture of her husband, until Wendy gave her a less-than-subtle nudge in the ribs.

The lumberjill stepped forward to separate the bickering twins.

- Guys, guys, listen - Wendy pushed them aside - Dipper, dude, I know you don't want to risk our lives, but if we want to save Stan and Ford, we need all the firepower we can have. As in, you need us. And we need you two.

Dipper looked deeply into his girlfriend's eyes, then into his sister's, and let out another deep sigh.

- How about this: if we don't return in an hour's time, you will follow. But you will also radio for help before that, understood?

It was time for Wendy, Mabel and Melody to exchange knowing looks, and with grimaces of reluctance still on their faces, they all nodded. Wendy and Melody gave their lesser halves kisses, Wendy fixed the rifles on Dipper's back, and with that, the two slowly walked down the narrow rocky corridor (which proved easy even for Soos). Once the lights from their torches disappeared, the three women quit their act at once.

- So... we wait twenty minutes and then we go in, right? - asked Melody - Right. - Wendy and Mabel responded, readying their weapons without so much as thinking of an answer.

The next third of an hour passed almost instantly. With no contact from the boys, three gals followed their steps, and entered the dark seashore cavern, expecting to be the rescuers of the rescue team. They thought that the walls would get more and more narrow, but the cavern slowly turned into an angled, helical corridor, which after a few dozens of yards became a staircase with occasional straightened lumps of rock and dirt working as steps or landings. The group moved silently, until Mabel pointed her torch at the sandy floor.

Melody was about to scream, but Wendy quickly covered her mouth; the beam of light revealed an old, dusty backpack with the remains of its owner still attached to it. The white bones shone in the light, bringing more questions than answers.

- That's not... is it? - asked Melody with a trembling voice. - Nah, it's too old. - Wendy quickly reassured her - But guys must have seen it. Why didn't they turn back? - Because they're morons?

Melody and Wendy exchanged a concerned look, agreeing with Mabel's decision. They hurried up, following the boys' footsteps, afraid of what could wait for them behind next turn. Their worries came true almost instantly, when Mabel's boot bumped into a metallic, rectangular object, turning it briefly on.

- Look! It's Ford's!

She picked up a tablet which for the last few years served Ford as his new, slightly modernised journal. The screen was cracked, and the battery was almost dead, but his writing was still readable. Wendy and Melody flocked around Mabel, trying to read Ford's notes.

- A "song"? A "trance"? - she read - What is going on? And what's an "iren"? - Dipper!

Before she could turn her head, Wendy rushed forward, screaming for her boyfriend. Melody followed her, leaving Mabel running last in line, trying to read without tripping over rocks.

- "...bird-like creatures, with claws and feathers, known throughout history for... using their voices to lure men"?!

She tossed the tablet into her backpack and run down the rocky corridor, towards the dim green aura coming from its end. Mabel armed her grappling hook and sprinted past her friends, and entered a large cave, ready to confront her opponents.

- Alright, you leave our morons a...lone?

Wendy and Melody arrived a second later, and were equally astonished by what they saw inside. They were greeted by eight pairs of eyes, though only four of them human. The rest belonged to large, scale- and feathers-covered creatures, with beaks and clawed appendages. The brief description from Ford's notes gave the gals a lot of mental images of what the sirens could be doing to Soos, Dipper, Ford and Stan.

"Having fun" wasn't one of them.

- Mabel! Wendy! I thought you'd never arrive!

Dipper waved at the three flabbergasted young women standing by the cave's entrance, examining its decor. They expected sacrificial altars, human skulls used as bowls and cups, or other ghastly elements. Instead, they noticed a huge flat screen TV, emitting the green light they saw before; Soos, together with one of the sirens stared at it, playing a video game, seemingly unaware of the women's arrival. Another siren was sitting with Dipper amongst a huge pile of multicoloured comic books and trading cards. In the back, they noticed a jukebox, snooker table and several comfy chairs, occupied by the two oldest missing adventurers, as well as two more sirens.

- Hello, ladies! - Stan shouted, sipping from what looked like a glass of whiskey. - Didn't expect you here! Care to join us? - Mabel! Wendy! Melody! - Ford looked from up the old, dusty tome he's been reading, putting it on the table. - What brings you here?

The three women once again looked at each other, trying to form a cohesive answer, which given the bizarre circumstances wasn't exactly easy.

- Uhm... To... Rescue you? - Melody begun sheepishly. - Yeah, that's why Dipper and Soos went here. - Mabel pointed to the boys in question. - And we also went to rescue them as well, since, well, they are who they are. - Rescue? - Dipper stood up - Can't you see, we're not in any danger. Come on, tell them, Isobel!

He gave his siren partner a quick nod to her feathered arm, and dragged her from her seat to face Wendy. The distinctively red-beaked creature gave what otherwise might be called a polite smile, though it hasn't improved Wendy's mood at all, and the fact that Dipper was already on first name terms with her definitely hasn't made her lower her rifle.    

The other three sirens followed her and flocked to the first one, until she spread her wings and bowed to the newcomers.

- Greetings, brave ladies! Welcome to our humble abodes. - she spoke in a sing-song voice. - My name is Isobel, and these are Mathilda, Ettiene and Fallaise. You have nothing to fear from us. - Oh, yeah? - Mabel retorted - Then why did you lure them all here? - Oh, we didn't lure them! - the siren called Isobel replied - These two gentlemen simply lost their way in the mist, and had to rest. And what would you you prefer: sleep in the boat, or in a nice cave by the fire with all the commodities? - And what about Dipper and Soos? - Wendy joined Mabel, doing another step forward, towards the blue- and yellow- beaked sirens. - The younger ones were weary as well. They are not as skilled sailors as their old... ehm, more experienced friends. - she corrected herself - And what else to offer them than some modern ways of entertainment?

A loud cheer reached the group, causing the sirens and the humans to look at Soos, waving his arms in the air.

- Yes! I got the first place! - he turned to Melody - Did you see this, honey?

Still staring at him, sirens didn't notice Mabel pushing their feathered bodies aside to walk through the barrier they created to reach her brother.

- Dipper, you can't be serious! They are sirens! - she shouted into his ear - They always lure people in. Not just people, men! - Oh, come on, just because they, unlike you, understand our hobbies doesn't mean they are automatically bad!

This was the last straw for Mabel. Her eye twitched, but she remained composed, and simply walked around the room, examining various bits of the odd décor. She circled the cave twice, returning to the same place she started from, with a sly grin on her face.

- These sirens are evil, exhibit A! - she shouted, grabbing the controller that used to belong to the blue siren - This one might looked like a skilled gamer, but behold! Her controller wasn't even connected to the console!

The siren shot her a cold stare, while Soos was stilled absorbed by his avatar on screen, waving a shining trophy with a congratulatory message written in broken English.  

- And these - she took the cards Dipper was clutching in his hands - They might look like the originals, with the protective cases and stuff... but they are mere reprints of the originals!

She ripped the card from the foil, exposing the modern back tucked behind the old-looking one.  

- And I would be very surprised if these bottles really contained a two-hundred-year old whiskey... - she said taking a healthy sip from the bottle.

The next moment taste and fumes of the alcohol burned through her throat, causing her to spit the entire gulp.

- Okay, maybe that was real.

As if on cue, the four sirens hissed, and four hypnotised men grabbed and shook their heads, as if they just woke up from a hangover-induced sleep.

- Mabel, what is going o- The Sirens!

Dipper screamed and ran towards the rest of the group, secured from the front by the three women. His grunkles swiftly grabbed two empty bottles of whiskey, expanding the armory brought by Wendy and Mabel. Unable to find anything for of her own, Meody resorted to Wendy's axe she held rather clumsily in her hands, never having to use one. Four feminine creatures bristled their hair- and scaled-covered heads and circled the adventurers, trapping them in a corner.

- Kids! We've been kidnapped! Uhm, elder-napped. Napped! - Grunkle Stan shouted - They lured us in with the promise of fair retirement system. I should have known that such a thing doesn't exist! - And then they've kidnapped us too! - Dipper added. - Yeah, no kidding. - snarled Wendy, keeping her eyes on the four creatures. - Uh, Wendy aren't you glad that we're alive?

A very short and sharp turn of her head gave Dipper an answer in a form of cold and angry "I-told-you-so" look, silencing him for good. Wendy readied her double-barrelled rifle when a red siren opened her beak-like mouth.

- Give us our men back - she hissed, stretching her wings. - Never in our lives, you feather-brains. - two bullets fell into the chamber with a metallic "click" - You wanted to steal my boyfriend! - My brother! - And my hubby! - Melody added, steeping in front of Soos, who took the entire situation with surprising calm, perhaps just because he was still going to use the controller as his weapon. - Ladies, I do hope you remember us. - Grunkle Stan peeked his head through the front row, only to tuck it back again when the red Siren opened her jaws again. - Curses! - she hissed - All we wanted were some male friends, who would help us, poor girls be like true nerds! Do you know how difficult it is to be mainstream if you're a woman in those times?

Mabel stepped to the despondent-looking siren, who took her fake glasses and smashed them with her claws.  

- Really? - Mabel scratched her head - Do you mean it? You just wanted to belong? - Mabel, I wouldn't trust them! - her brother shouted from the corner. - Yeah, says the one who trusted them. - Wendy snickered. - So... you didn't want to hurt them? - Mabel asked once again, lowering her grappling hook slightly. - Of course! - sang another one - How else would we then use them and feed to our future babies?

Silence fell in the cavern, as all eyes, human or not were now pointed at the green Siren.

- I shouldn't have said that, should I? - There is a reason we don't send you on scouting missions, Mathilda. Attack! - screeched the red-beaked one, and at once the four sirens launched themselves at the humans.

Many things happened at the same time.

First, a loud "Duck, Mabel!" boomed through the cavern, followed by absolutely deafening sound of Wendy firing her rifle. She missed, only narrowly singing the feathers on one of the Siren's head. Her actions, however, were more than precise. The echo of her shot made the rest cover their ears and confuse her opponents for long enough to start their escape.

At least two of the monsters around them begun shrieking, which Wendy assumed was the sound that took control of her friends' minds. Wendy grabbed her boyfriend by the collar of his shirt and rushed to the exit, slamming the closest siren in the beak, ending her song. She turned around to see if Dipper kept his hands over ears, and was quite happy to see his beaming smile, meaning that he understood her plan.

She couldn't say the same about Soos, who had to have his ears covered by Melody, resulting in her using her feet and elbow to parry sirens' attacks, which was, nonetheless, surprisingly effective, even if she could use the actual weapon in her hand.

Using her grappling hook, Mabel found her way to grunkle Stan's back, piggy-backing him to the exit. The same person that just a few minutes ago complained about being weak and left alone, dashed trough the wings and claws of the enemies as if his age did not matter at all.

Ford was the only one who kept his own hearing under control, at least on the other side of his metal plate. With one hand to operate, he used his slightly faulty laser pistol to defend their position, but with their wings, the Sirens were able to prevent the adventurers from reaching their destination. Their initial advantage diminished greatly when the group were separated; Dipper, Wendy, Melody and Soos made it to the tunnel entrance, leaving the rest still fighting.

- We have to keep them occupied! - Ford shouted, wrestling with one of the sirens, steadily advancing to the exit. - Grunkle Ford, do you have any tools with you? - Mabel asked, as she swung above the heads of the sirens, firing from her grappling hook one by one to keep herself mid-air. - I only have this, but what why how would that help? - he reached into his pocket and threw his Swiss omni-knife towards Mabel, when the trajectory of her flight coincided with his position.

One look on Mabel's face told Ford that his great-niece not only had a plan, but also told them what to do.

- Stan, we need to buy Mabel some time! - he shouted, hoping his brother would understand at least part of his words amongst the shrieks.

He did, and the very next moment Stan let go of his ears, ripped his shirt in half and with a roar he rushed towards the sirens. Meanwhile, working under the pressure of time, Mabel fidgeted with the knife's satellite setting, and jammed it into the video cable of the television screen.

- Come on, you ugly chickens! I sacrificed myself to worse monsters than you!

He was about to feel the pain of the claws on his chest, and the soothing, hypnotising melody of their voice in his head, but then, amongst their uproar, a new, much louder voice filled the cavern, gathering the sirens' attention. They all turned, and gathered around the flickering, booming TV.

The paused racing game was gone, and instead a much more rapid and violent one was being played, bringing the attention of not just the sirens, but humans as well, who at least temporarily ceased fighting with them.

- You know, I'm starting to feel ignored... - Stan grumbled. - And it was a pretty decent shirt! - What is the meaning of this? Who- who is playing that? - screamed one of the sirens, pointing to the screen.

A young, blonde face appeared in the upper corner of the screen.

- "It's me, WatchMeCry and this is another EXTREME(TM) and AWESOME(C) episode of my Heroes of Duty letsplay!" - the young man waved his hands towards the camera.

Somewhere above the crowd, Wendy noticed Mabel, swinging on the rope from her grappling hook, with a elongated device in her hand.

- Quick! While they're busy! - she gave command to Stan and Ford.

Allured by the screaming and whining of the streamer, the sirens flocked to the screen, completely oblivious of the fact that his exaggerated style of playing, cursing and reacting to the game were clearly staged. Mabel swiftly fell to the ground, leading her grunkles to the rest of the group, equally baffled by the young man's pitiful gameplay.

- Do people really watch it...? - Wendy raised her brow in disbelief. - I don't really play games, and even I know he sucks. - added Melody - That's the whole point!- explained Mabel, silently pushing the group out of the cavern - He has to be so horrible, so he can play more, do crappy commentaries and tell unfunny jokes!

As if on command, the sirens roared into laughter, following the blonde gamer's series of insults about his virtual opponent's mother.

- Brilliant, Mabel! That will keep'em interested for good. - Wendy cheered. - No it won't! - interjected Ford, interrupting Wendy's speech, and taking his futuristic device from his great-niece - Mabel, great work, but we have to make sure these monsters won't lure any other bystanders, like they fooled us! I should've known they wouldn't have a complete proof of Ziemann's hype-othesis... - he scratched his head in embarrassment. - First of all, grunkle Ford, it's on autoplay, they still have more than seven hundreds hours of his videos, and he keeps pumping them out daily. - Mabel continued - Secondly, once they find that this guy sells his face on t-shirts, and allows donations just to show a silly message on screen, they won't need anything else. Just look at them!

The fours sirens gathered around the TV screen, passing their snacks around, commenting about the gamer's hair, his unmistakable manner of screaming and his almost childish approach to losing, and the way he trashed his controller around the room. The once mighty monsters, now completely mesmerised by their own weapon left only long shadows on the cavern's walls.  

- But... their lives may put others at risk! - continued Ford, unabashed by that sight - Lives? Grunkle Ford, what lives? - Mabel spread her arms - Let's face it, these sirens ain't gonna sire anything for a long time.

The adventurers looked at each other, exchanging the nods, agreeing with Mabel's plan.

- But just to be sure, let's block the exit with a hu-uge rock. - Mabel winked.

The small port tavern in the town of Orstan had very few customers this time of year, so the late night arrival of party of seven, each demanding food and drink initially astonished the owner. But when the oldest two started spinning the tales of their sea adventures, the barman himself joined their table and listened to the wild and colourful stories.

Not all people around the table listened as eagerly as the barman or Mabel, who kept asking Ford to re-tell the same fight with double-headed shark again and again. Dipper Pines sipped the soda from his beer mug, staring into the foam forming on top of it, and only when Wendy gave him a quick nudge he realised she's not been listening to Ford and Stan as well.

- What's wrong Dipper? - I feel horrible, Wendy. - he groaned under his breath - How could I fell for the sirens trap? I've read about them! I knew their weapon! - Dipper, don't be so hard on yourself. - she put a hand on his shoulder - You guys have been hypnotised, you couldn't do anything... - Yeah, but that easily? - Dipper sighed again. - I told you that you mean a world to me, and no other girl would do the same to me... And Soos promised that to Melody in church. And we were both bamboozled by those four.

Wendy snickered, spilling ale from her mug.

- Okay, first of all, no one uses that word anymore. And secondly, look at Melody.

She pointed to the opposite side of the table, where the other shop assistant at the Mystery Shack curled in Soos' arms ready to fall asleep if not for Stan and Ford's story.

- Does this looks like a couple that is about to break up because of this? - No... - Dipper answered, and flinched, when he felt Wendy's arms closing around his stomach. - Yeah, and neither will we. - she gave his ear a gentle kiss. - So... you're not angry at me? - Dipper, you gawked at that beaked bitch as if she was the next wonder of the world, and she would have babies with you, of course I'm angry. - she kissed him again - But that doesn't mean I can't forgive you. After all, you're just a man. - Hey, what was that supposed to mean? - Dipper turned his head around and met Wendy's face beaming with a smile. - Why don't you show me?

Her low, alluring voice caused Dipper to spill his drink again, but this time, he grabbed Wendy's mug, gulped down a bit of heavy alcohol, and let his girlfriend drag him to their room.

Half an hour later delightful stories told by Ford and Stan turned into singing contest of loud and obnoxious shanties that drove Mabel mad. And with both Soos and Melody as well as Dipper and Wendy gone to their respective beds, she gulped down another mug of beer, hoping it would make her asleep here and not have to be sandwiched between their noisy rooms.

- I wish Paz was here...

The whole premise for the story was, of course, the "fake gamer girl" cliche, and often associated with it mistakes like disconnected controller/turned off console/lack of cartridge often shown on some poor photoshops that were supposed to market that demographic.

Isobel, Ettiene and Fallaise are names of three Hagravens from The Elder Scroll games; they appear in Bloodmoon, Morrowind's DLC and later in Dragonborn, Skyrim's DLC.

"WatchMeCry" is, for those who have been living under a rock - just like those Sirens - a parody of "colourful", shall we say, streamers like PewDiePie.

Ziemann's "hype-otheosis" is a joke on famous, (currently) unproven Riemann's hypothesis.

Orstan is a parody of a port town in Oregon called Orford.

[minijenn]

A Father's Love

Deep Space (Unknown Time)

It had been a grueling past few weeks since…it happened. Steven, Dipper, Mabel, and the Gems had gone through a gauntlet of hardships in their reverse-engineered Gem ship to complete their mission: find Comet. The boy—Steven and Connie’s boy—had been abducted by their old enemies: Aquamarine and Topaz.

The old Mystery Kids and CGs thought they’d seen the last of them years ago, but they made a surprise attack on Earth for revenge against Steven. Their original plan had been to simply shatter Steven for his crimes against the Diamond Authority, but they were forced to settle with abducting his son.

Steven had been tempted to bring Connie along for the ride, but if anything happened on the mission, he needed to make sure their daughters would be safe. The night before he left, he said that he would be bringing Comet home and that he loved them all more than anything. Although, Connie went the extra mile to give him a proper farewell later that night—a memory that gave him even more incentive to return.

Dipper had done something identical with Pacifica and their daughters, but Mabel made sure to keep Tyrone safe with Greg, Stan, and Ford. The Pines twins were more than ready to follow Steven to bring Comet back, knowing that he would’ve done the same if it had been any of their kids that were abducted. The Gems hardly needed convincing either, but Lapis and Peridot stayed behind once again to keep Gravity Falls safe until they came back.

As the crew did their respective duties, Dipper finally got a signal on one of the ship’s instruments, the one they’d been waiting for since the mission began.

“Guys, check it out!” Dipper exclaimed as the rest of the group instantly gathered around him.

“What is it, Dipper?!” Steven asked frantically.

“It need it to be good news. I want to punch that little blue clod’s face after what she did,” Amethyst said gruffly.

“Not before I drive my spear through her gem,” Pearl added similarly.

“Or before I break both Topazes’ gems,” Garnet said darkly as she cracked her knuckles.

“No one messes with our boy,” Mabel said as she violently cocked her old grappling hook.

“It’s the best news ever guys. I know which planet he’s on,” Dipper said eagerly as he armed himself with one of Ford’s magnet guns. “We’re getting Comet back.”

Gem Colony 2309 (Unknown Time)

After tracking Comet down, the gang wasted no time when they activated the ship’s light-speed function and arrived at the planet, barely having time to take in Homeworld’s carnage. The planet now heavily resembled what the Earth would’ve looked like if they had succeeded in the Gem War, but what really mattered was the Kindergarten where they were keeping Comet captive.

Thanks to Pearl and Peridot’s new spacesuits for them, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven were able to safely land on the planet without worrying about losing oxygen. Once they set foot on the planet, everyone looked towards Steven for the plan, but hardly any of them were caught off-guard when Steven said, “Shatter Topaz and Aquamarine. I’m going to get my boy back.”

Soon enough, the group arrived at the Kindergarten and found Comet locked in a makeshift cell to give him oxygen and was guarded by Topaz while Aquamarine was hovering over her, madness in her eyes as she gazed at the object of her hatred.

“Steven…Rose…whatever you call yourself, you’re going to pay,” Aquamarine said venomously as she gripped her now-barely functioning wand, which elicited a smug laugh from Mabel.

“Still haven’t gotten that fixed since last time? If I recall, Maven was the one who did that, right?” Mabel said sardonically towards her, which only angered her further.

“You all might be bigger now, but I’m still a member of Blue Diamond’s court!” Aquamarine shouted angrily.

“Yeah, what’s left of it, shorty. We beat you once and we’ll do it again,” Dipper said defiantly as he charged his magnet gun.

“You brought this on yourself when you came to Earth again,” Garnet said with barely restrained anger.

“You made it worse when you took one of our own,” Amethyst said through gritted teeth as she summoned her whip.

“You don’t deserve mercy; not then, and not now,” Pearl said as she tightly gripped her spear.

Aquamarine merely shrugged off their threats before condescendingly addressing Steven with, “What about you? Any words you have for me, traitor?”

Steven looked at her with a deeply unsettling blank expression as he summoned his shield, his body trembling with unfettered anger towards the blue Gem, which she seemed to notice as her expression dimmed significantly. Steven remained silent for only a few more moments before he said, “You’re going to die today,”

With fear in her eyes, Aquamarine motioned for Topaz to attack, but the yellow Gem fusion was hardly a match without the hostages she’d callously used in their first fight. Much to Aquamarine’s surprise, Topaz was swiftly poofed in a few moments by Garnet after a combined attack from Steven and Dipper. Despite their justifiable anger towards both yellow Gems, Steven decided to bubble them away, which left Aquamarine all alone.

“We took mercy on them because they were bullied by you,” Steven said coldly. “We’re not giving you the same treatment.”

Unable to think of anything else, Aquamarine summoned a big charge from her wand, only to be swatted away like a fly by a combined attack from Amethyst and Mabel. While everyone wanted to shatter her for her crimes, Steven took the initiative and broke Comet out of his cell and gave him an emergency mask to give him oxygen. Once his son could breathe, Steven embraced him with a loving smile and tears in his eyes.

“Dad, I was so scared! You came for me! You came for me!” Comet shouted through relieved tears.

“Always, son. Always,” Steven lovingly said as he continued to embrace his son, with cheers from the rest of the group, unaware that Aquamarine was now recovering from the attack, now glaring at them all with contempt.

“I will not fail! I will not be ignored!” Aquamarine angrily whispered as she gripped her wand for her contingency plan. “You won’t get away from me, again!”

Unwilling to let this opportunity pass them by, the group hailed their Gem ship and boarded as soon as possible, content to leave Aquamarine with the knowledge that she failed again, knowing it would hurt more than death. Unfortunately, not even Garnet’s future vision could predict what Aquamarine had done mere moments before they boarded, a sadistic smile on her face as she eagerly awaited her plan to unfold.

Now that they were in the ship’s cockpit, far away from the planet, the group watched contentedly as Steven and Comet embraced once again, nonverbally promising to join them once they were done.

“As excited as I am about today, I’m more excited about what’ll happen when we get home to your mom and sisters tomorrow,” Steven said contentedly as he tightened his embrace with his son.

“Me too, dad. I love you,” Comet said similarly, only for their tender moment to be interrupted by an unfamiliar beeping sound.

Steven ended his embrace with Comet when he noticed a metallic object latched onto his son’s back: a bomb. Steven and the others lightly gasped when they noticed how quickly it was beeping now—far beyond the point of disarming or even bubbling it away into space.

“No,” Steven said in contained horror, knowing that there was no way to stop it now.

“Steven…” Dipper and Mabel trailed off, unsure of what was going to happen.

As if it lasted for eternity, Steven turned to his two life-long friends with a morose expression and said, “Take care of my family,” Unable to say anything more, even to his guardians, Steven grabbed the bomb and ran towards the edge of the cockpit, with Pearl forcibly restraining Comet to go after him when he knew what was going to happen. Garnet and Amethyst couldn’t even move, knowing that they couldn’t do anything, especially Garnet. Dipper and Mabel only fruitlessly extended their hands towards him, unwilling to believe this was happening.

“No, dad! Come back!” Comet yelled desperately, but to no avail as mere moments after he said that, the bomb went off a safe distance away from him and the group.

The group could only watch in horror as Steven took the blast for them, which destroyed a huge chunk of the cockpit that was already being repaired by the ship’s defenses. They all saw Steven’s lifeless body floating through space; his gem—Rose’s gem—had been instantly shattered in the blast, his body now covered in fatal injuries as blood poured out of him into the dark, unfeeling void of space. There were no more words, only tears; Steven Quartz Universe was dead.