#Maria Sisters AU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arlana-likes-to-write · 1 year

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Safe. You are safe.

This is part of the Older Sister AU of Yelena and Natasha. This was requested from a comment on my AO3.

Summary: After returning to the compound from a solo mission to free a Widow, you are badly injured. But as a Widow injury means punishments and you can’t afford to be punished because who will protect your sisters if they kill you.

Warnings: mention of past sexual abuse, mention of past physical abuse, PTSD, dissociation, injuries from a mission, mention of trauma from Red Room

Word Count: 2.8k

You were sloppy. You made a mistake and it costed you. You snuck back into your room and closed the door. You needed to deal with it before someone found out. Injuries meant you weren’t good enough, that someone was better than you. You grabbed the first aid kit you had in your room for situations like this. You took your tactical suit off, leaving you in your white tank top and boy shorts. Well your tank top was mostly white, a red spot was forming on your stomach. It was the worst injury you obtained. The Widow wasn’t the only one you had to fight, her handlers were reluctant to let her go. Your ribs were bruised, you most likely had a concussion, the Widow stabbed you in the thigh, and you knew you had cuts and bruises. If it wasn’t for the serum, you would have bleed out on the ride back to the compound. The AI already asked if the medical team should be notified but you declined. No one could know. No one could know you were weak. Weakness meant death and you couldn’t be killed; you had to keep up your end of the deal. If you were killed, who would watch out for Yelena and Natasha? Dreykov could get his hands on them. You couldn’t allow that. Your heart began to pound, you could hear it. The organ was beating against your ribs. Thud. Thud. Thud. Your hands were shaking. You had to calm down or you couldn’t stitch yourself up. You heard your door open. How did they find out? You felt sick. They were going to drag you away. Their words weren’t reaching you but you felt hands on you. “No, please.” You pleaded. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

Yelena walked from a training session with Sam to your room after the AI informed her of your return. You used the compound as your halfway point, if the Widow was based in the US, before heading back to St. Petersburg. Yelena had to admit she was worried every time you went away on an assignment. But you were the best for a reason. Yelena knocked on your door before entering. “FRIDAY said you were-” the sentence died on her lips as she saw the state you were in. The gunshot wound on your stomach was her main concern. Yelena said your name but you made no indication that you heard her. Yelena ran over to you. “We need to get you to medbay.” You were staring at her but you didn’t move. “Sestra,” Yelena said, grabbing onto your arms. You flinched.

“Pozhaluysta net (No, please),” Yelena was surprised you slipped into your native tongue. You began thrashing around.

“Stop or you're gonna hurt yourself.” Yelena said, trying to stop you. But you were stronger than her.

“YA sdelayu luchshe. Obeshchayu (I’ll do better. I promise.).”

“FRIDAY, tell Natasha I need her.” Yelena said to the AI. “Tell her it’s important.” The AI agreed to her request and it didn’t take long for Natasha and Maria to appear.

“What’s-” she stopped. Yelena looked behind her. “Get away from her.”

“But-”

“Yelena, now.” Natasha ordered. Yelena let go of you. You immediately stopped moving but your eyes were darting around the room. “Vdova, vozderzhis' (Widow, restrain).” You got up to lay down on your back and put your hands above your head. Natasha walked over to your nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. She cuffed you to the headboard. Yelena saw your body relax. “Maria, I need you to get Cho and get a sedative. Take Yelena with you.”

“Of course. Come on Yelena.” Yelena wanted to protest and stay with her sisters but she saw in Natasha’s eyes there was no room for argument. Yelena sighed and followed Maria.

Natasha waited for Maria and Yelena to be out of ear shot and looked back at you. Your eyes were cloudy, still lost in whatever scenario your mind was creating. “Mission report,” she ordered you. She hated it. It made her skin crawl and stomach turn. “In English.” Natasha added. She watched your face morph in confusion at the request.

“My intel was incorrect,” you said. The coldness of your voice caused a chill to go down her spine. It was a voice she remembered you used in the Red Room. “I was only expecting the Widow but her handlers and other members of the organization were there. I exposed the Widow to the dust but was injured in the process.” You paused. “I accept any punishment as you see fit.” Natasha’s heart broke.

“Oh sestra,” Natasha mumbled as Maria and Yelena came back with Helen. Maria handed Natasha the sedative. “Rest, Widow.” She said, injecting the needle into your arm. Natasha saw the panic in your eyes. You pulled at the handcuffs. “Widow, calm down.” Helen walked over to your other side and helped Natasha hold you down.

“Please,” you pleaded. “I’ll be better. Just don’t hurt them. Please.” Natasha wasn’t sure who you were referring to.

“They will be safe,” Natasha said. You nodded and your body relaxed as your eyes closed. “Can you stretch her up here?” She asked the doctor. “I don’t think moving her is a good idea.” Helen nodded.

“Understood. I’ll come get you when I’m done.” Natasha nodded. She looked at Yelena and her girlfriend. Her sister’s eyes were wide.

“Let’s go to my room, okay?” Yelena slowly nodded. The walk to her room was quiet, a heavy silence was resting with the trio. Natasha opened her door and they walked in. She kept her door open for Helen so she could find them when she was done. Yelena sat down on her bed and looked down at her hands, playing with the rings on her fingers. Maria grabbed Natasha’s hand and squeezed it.

“Do you want me to stay?” She asked.

“Stay,” Natasha whispered. Maria smiled. The Black Widow let go of her hand and sat next to Yelena. “Can you look at me?” It took a minute for Yelena to look at Natasha. “Did she hurt you?” Her eyes widened.

“No!” Yelena said. “She would never hurt me or you.” Natasha nodded as Maria sat down in a spar chair Natasha had in her room.

“I know she wouldn’t not intentionally but in that state you never know what may have happened.” She caught Maria nodding. “Do you remember when we first came to America you had really intense nightmares?” Yelena nodded. The youngest was only in Red Room for 4 years. 4 years was too long but Natasha knew it could be worse. “Well, Widows like me and your sister experience something similar.”

“Widows that were in the Red Room longer than me.” Yelena said. Natasha nodded.

“Sometimes our minds tell us we are still back there and our body reacts to it.”

“She thought she was back in the Red Room,” Yelena whispered. “But why didn’t she go to med bay? She could have died.”

“You're right but she was trained to believe getting hurt on a mission was a failure that she would get punished. So she hid it.” Yelena didn’t say anything, letting what her sister said sit with her.

“Were you like that?” Yelena finally asked. Natasha did her best to hide the parts of herself that were damaged from her sister. She had to be the strong one. She was the older sister. The first year while she was with SHIELD she still used the handcuffs to help her sleep.

“She was,” Maria said. “She’d give me, Fury, and Barton a heart attack.” Natasha gave Maria a small smile. She knew she wasn’t easy to deal with. Yelena frowned.

“I remember the handcuffs,” she said softly. “They used them on us right before we left.” Natasha still had a pair in her nightstand. “Is she going to be okay?” “It just takes time. She was with the Red Room longer than us and she’s only been free for a few months.” 6 months to be exact. A knock interrupted their conversation.

“Can I come in?” Helen asked. Natasha nodded. The doctor entered. “She’s stable. The bullet went straight through. Her ribs are bruised and she had a stab wound on her thigh. They’ve been stitched up but the serum is doing a good job at healing her.” She sighed. “The sedative will keep her out for a few hours and I highly recommend you bring her to med bay. She has a lot of wounds that I would like to look over.” Natasha nodded. She knew Melina was patching you up.

“Thank you Helen.” The doctor nodded.

“Of course. Let me know if you need anything.” She left Natasha’s room, closing the door behind her. Natasha looked at Yelena.

“I need you to stay out of her room till she wakes up and I know it's safe.” Natasha expected her to argue but Yelena sighed.

“Okay.”

You opened your eyes, blinking a few times to clear your vision. You felt groggy. Your head was pounding. You tried to sit up but couldn’t. The familiar sound of handcuffs rattled in your room. You pulled on them. You heard your name and you saw Natasha. “Nat.” Your throat was dry. Gods, you needed water.

“Did you know where you are?” She asked. What kind of question was that? You rested your head back on your pillow.

“My room in Avenger’s compound,” You licked your lips. “In New York.”

“Okay, I’m going to take these off.” You nodded as you watched Natasha unlock the cuffs and set them on your nightstand. You sat up, rubbing your sore wrist. “Here, Cho said for you to take this.” She handed you a glass of water and a pill. You took the pill and downed the water. You sat in an awkward silence. Both unsure of where to start. Natasha sighed. “Do you remember what happened?” She finally asked. You weren’t sure. You completed the mission; exposing the Widow to the Red Dust and sending her to the safe house. She insisted you come with her but your only thought was getting to the compound. You touched where you got shot. It flooded back to you like a tidal wave.

“Yelena. Did I-I didn’t hurt her, right?” Natasha shook her head. That was a relief.

“She’s more worried than anything.” Natasha sat on the foot of her bed. You appreciated the space. “Do you want to talk about it?” She seemed unsure of herself. You didn’t answer and stared at the scars on your wrist. The indent of metal handcuffs, a reminder of what you went through and where you came from.

“Talking doesn’t seem like your style, Natalia.” You whispered. Natasha huffed.

“Well, I’m all you got,” she said. “I’m the only one in this compound that knows what you went through.”

“You don’t know what I went through,” you said, looking up at her. “You know some of it but after you left,” you looked back down. “It became worse.”

“I didn’t ask you to make a deal with him. As soon as we reentered the Red Room, we weren’t sisters.” You looked back at her.

“Then why am I here if we aren’t sisters?” You asked. “We could have never spoken again after the Red Room was destroyed. But yet here I am,” You shook your head. “As soon as you were assigned that mission you and Yelena are my sisters. The mission ended but that didn’t. He would have killed you, Nat.”

“Just don’t hurt them,” Natasha mumbled. You remember saying that. “That was about us.”

“What’s the point of this?” You asked. “He told you what he made me do.”

“To get you to talk to me!” She said. “It took me years to stop the behaviors the Red Room taught me and you were there for so much longer.” She sighed. “I almost died on a mission because of them.” She admitted. “I won’t let that happen to you. So, yes, emotions and feelings aren’t my thing but I’ve learned a lot from you and Yelena. If I can do one thing for you, let me be the strong one.” You blinked at the person in front of you. It took you back to sharing a room in the Red Room where you helped treat her wounds after she said she was fine. When you asked if she asked if she was okay but she ignored you. She’s changed. No, she’s healed. It was a beautiful site. You touched your cheek and felt a tear. When was the last time you cried? You weren’t sure. At some point, you couldn’t feel the beatings.

“Sometimes my mind tells me I’m still there,” you whispered. “That I’m still in debt to him and all of this,” you motioned around your room. “Is just a dream and I’ll wake up back underneath him.” Your lip trembled. “I’ve gotten hurt dealing with Widows before this was different.”

“How?” You sighed, bringing your knees to your chest.

“They almost killed me. But the way they held me down I was back in the Red Room,” you brought your right hand to your mouth and bit down on your nail. “Dreykov was very selective on who got to use me. I was his special little spider.” The name tasted like poison in your mouth. “Some diplomat came to talk to him and as a show of good faith he got me for a day.” Natasha had an excellent poker face. It was why the instructors adored her but right now she was livid. There was a fire in her eyes. “He almost killed me but I fought back.”

“Is he dead?” Natasha asked. You smiled.

“Yeah, I think another Widow was assigned the hit.” You told her. You looked up at her. “How did you do it? How do you leave them behind?” She sighed, taking your hand in hers.

“You don’t fully. They are still here like a nagging in the back of your head. I have a pair of handcuffs in my nightstand.” You smirked.

“Just in case you and Maria want to get kinky.” Natasha’s cheeks turned a bright red. She pushed you on the shoulder and you fell backwards. You laughed, a deep laugh that left you breathless. You whipped a few tears away from your eyes.

“Suka,” Natasha mumbled. “But seriously, you just heal with time and you have us.” You smiled.

“Thank you, sestra.”

“Always. Now Yelena wants to see you. Are you okay with that?” She asked. You nodded. “FRIDAY, tell Yelena she can come in.” It wasn’t long before your door slowly opened and Yelena walked in. You smiled and held open your arms. She ran into your arms and you held her tight, feeling some tears on your skin.

“I’m sorry I worried about you.” she shook her head, pulling out of the hug.

“It wasn’t your fault. I talked to Nat and I know what to do if it happens again.” You gave Natasha a grateful smile. “Did Natasha tell you Helen wants to see you? She’s worried about a few past injuries.” You groaned.

“I’ll go see her later,” you told them. “Can we just spend some time together?” You asked. Yelena nodded excitedly.

“We can start the Star Wars movies. I showed them to Steve.” You smiled.

“Should we get snacks?” You gave your best puppy eyes to Natasha. She rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Popcorn and water.”

“Pepsi, please!” Yelena said. Natasha sighed.

“Fine, queue up the movie.” She stood up and left your room. Yelena grabbed the remote and put the movie up. You got comfortable and watched your youngest sister. She was playing with the rings on her fingers. You noticed she did it when she was anxious or something was on her mind.

“She hid a lot from me,” she must be referring to Natasha. “I didn’t see how Natasha handled what the Red Room did to her.” She looked back at you.

“She wanted to protect you,” you told her. “We can get violent in that state.” You’ve woken up from punching Alexei and you’ve attacked Melina. Yelena huffed.

“I’m tired of people protecting me.” You pulled her into a hug.

“Well get used to it, malen'koye solnyshko (little sun),” You said. “You're the baby.” You pinched her cheeks. She swatted your hand away but you didn’t miss the smile on her face.

“I got popcorn, drinks, and I stole Sam’s candy,” Natasha said, closing your door. She handed out the drinks and snacks. You and your sisters got comfortable on your bed. Natasha rested her back against your headboard. Your head was in her lap and Yelena laid at the foot of your bed. You enjoyed the movie but this time them was even better.

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