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kavuyi · 5 years

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Nkani: All That Glitters 31 Part 2 https://ift.tt/2T6Zylh

For this chapter, we had another writer add in some amazing words. Can you guess which parts?

We hope you enjoy. It’s sooooooo drama!!!

“Hey babe.”

Sangu wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my cheek.

“Hey.” I respond.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

He brushes his lips across mine. He’s in a good mood, I can tell. He probably had the best day at the hospital. He gives me one last kiss on my lips before he lets go of me and takes my hand.

“Dinner?” He asks.

He flashes me a smile before he leads us to the kitchen. I roll my eyes at the back of his head.

“You cooked?” I ask

He turns and looks at me.

“Yeah. Come on, I’ve been cooking the past days. Why you shocked?”

“Well, I know you can cook but everyday? Honey are you sure you want to be in the kitchen everyday?”

“For you? Of course. You’ve been doing everything for me for so long so I’m showing you I’m here for you.”

“That’s really sweet of you but work? You’ve been coming home earlier than usual.”

“I know.”

“And?”

“And its all sorted babe. No worries.”

“What is going on?”

He opens the door leading to the kitchen and stands aside to let me through. I do not take a step passed him, I look at him hoping to see some kind of answers from his eyes but nothing. He gives nothing away.

“Sangu what’s going on? I’m getting worried.”

“I’ll tell you everything later. We gotta celebrate first.”

“Celebrate what?”

“I’ll tell during dinner. I have your favourite wine, chilled, roasted pork, mash potatoes, greens…”

“No. Tell me now.”

He smirks and stands in front of me.

“Remember those days we talked about me reducing my number of hours at Queen Elizabetha Medical Hospital?”

“Yes.”

He grabs my shoulders excitedly.

“Well, that day has come.” He laughs. “I finally got a response from Patrick Chileshe Memorial Hospital. You’re looking at their newest doctor.”

“That’s amazing sweetie. I’m so happy for you. When did you get the news?”

“Today. In the morning.”

“Great. But you’re home early? You’ve home early this past week.”

“Well I’m on leave. Or not really on leave. I still get called in for particular cases.”

“Oh. You didn’t tell me.”

“Was going to the day of moms birthday but stuff. Then Thandiwe.”

“Oh. You get home early enough to cook?”

“Exactly. Now I have to think about how to split my time schedule between the two hospitals.”

“I don’t understand.” I respond confused. “Doesn’t that mean more hours for you?”

“Slightly more but better pay.” He says

“Okay if you put it that way.” I laugh. “I’m so proud of you honey.”

I close the gap between us and kiss him. He smiles against my lips.

“Told you I’ll make you proud of me.” He whispers

“Yes you did. And you have.”

“Dinner?”

“Of course.”

He takes my hand and we walk into the kitchen. The scent of cooked food makes my mouth water. I can’t wait to eat it all up. Sangu has the kitchen table prepared, empty wine glasses standing beside plates laden with our dinner.

“Let me take your bag ma’am.” He says

He takes my handbag from my hand and places it on an empty chair around the table. He pulls a chair back for me, ever the gentleman.

“The food smells so good Sangu. I absolutely love the display. I’m a lucky lady.”

“Yes you are.”

He sits down beside me, reaches out for the bottle of red wine standing between the wine glasses.

“Wine?” He asks

“Hmm. Thank you Hun.”

“Mum says hi.” He says as he pours the wine in our glasses.

“Hmmm.” I respond.

I grab one of the forks beside my plate as I watch him. The food tastes as good as it looks, so good it has me closing my eyes and sighing in pleasure. If there is something I know about Sangu it’s that whatever he puts his heart into comes out perfect.

“She’s as excited as I am about the news.”

I grab my glass of wine and look at Sangu.

“You told her?”

“Yeah. She came by the hospital actually.”

“Oh? Is she okay? Why was she there?”

“She actually brought………”

He stops short but the guilt in his eyes is enough. I know who his mother brought over. His amazing pregnant ex girlfriend. Did she do it deliberately? Remind him of a life he could have with his ex and her child or was did his mother take her to him for an honest check up? What is it with that woman and holding onto her son like he’s her last drop of water?

“Are they okay?” I ask

“As to be expected.” He responds, obviously relieved.

“That’s good.” I respond.

I look at my plate, the sight of food no longer as pleasant to look at. So his ex girlfriend found out about his job changes earlier than I did. She seems to know a lot more about him than I do. She knows about me and my problems from his mother. She probably knows the real reason Sangu left me on my birthday. What if he really wants her back? Surely he must know I don’t approve of him giving his ex check ups. And the fact that he would see her more often than I would like bothers me more than it should. His mother is to blame for this mess. Period. What am I supposed to do now? Wait it out? Till he leaves me again?

“Babe. Are you okay.” He asks. “You’re not eating.”

I look at him and smile.

“I’m great.” I respond. “I was wondering though. Do you really want to have children with me?”

“What kind of a question is that Sampa? Of course I do. I love you.”

I meet his gaze and shake my head.

“Sangu I think We need to talk.”

**********

“Call Sampa. Call Ian. Wash some whites. Have a salad and sleep.” I tell myself

No echoes are curious enough to talk back. It’s a beautiful end to a perfect day. One of my best days yet. The restaurant had one of its best days yet. Packed to maximum, I was kept on my toes all day. I got to do my job with the passion I was born with. I believe I killed every meal I made today and I’m proud of myself, the smile on my face is evident of that. I smile at my reflection in the mirror.

“Good work done Sonia.” I tell myself.

I blow myself a kiss and grab my handbag off the white sink. I need to get home soon. I walk out of the bathroom with a smile plastered on my face as I head to the kitchen area.

“Sonia?”

I turn around and catch sight of the hotel manager, Mr Mwansa standing by the door of his office. He lowers his head slightly to look at me over his rectangular spectacles that make him look older than his fifty years. Then again his grey hair doesn’t do much to make him look any younger.

“You’re still around?” He asks

“Just leaving actually.” I respond. “Just going to the kitchen to check on a few things then I’ll be gone. Quite tired to be honest.”

“Ahh I can imagine after the day you’ve had.”

“Very busy. But worth it.” I laugh.

“Could you step into my office please.”

My smile fades as I walk to his office. He heads to his desk as I close the door. I’ve been to his office too few times and it’s only been to deal with menu designs with the head chef, never after hours.

“Take a seat please.” He says slowly

I walk to the only empty chair across him and sit down.

“Sonia I want to thank you for coming in today. I know you had the day off to see your friend but you showed up. Thank you.”

I offer him a smile and meet his gaze.

“Anyway that’s not why I called you here.” He continues. “This should have been done earlier but the day got away with us.”

He shuffles a few papers aside on his table before he pulls out a brown envelope and hands it over to me. I look at the envelope then at Mr Mwansa, a look of confusion on my face. Is the hotel firing me I wonder. Did I do something wrong today? I believe I worked to my best today but if I’m getting fired then I obviously failed. Where will I get a new job from? Plus I need to save for my wedding. I reach out and take the envelope from his hand. I quickly rip the opening and pull a single white page from it.

A lips break into a smile as the words promotion and head chef stand out on the letter. I look at Mr Mwansa hoping his face can reveal that the letter is not some sort of prank.

“Promotion?” I ask

“It’s been a long time coming.” He laughs

“Yes it has.” I agree

“We, I and hotel management have noticed your efforts Sonia. You are an amazing chef. You’ve put your heart into everything you do. I’ve received glowing comments from clients. You never disappoint. Always willing to learn. We figured it was best we reward you for your work done. Like today you made the kitchen work and the product was beautiful meals that created smiles on people’s faces.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you will accept it. You will become head chef as of tomorrow.”

“But what about head chef Benard?”

“He will help you around the kitchen for the time being before you’ll be fully able to control the whole kitchen.” He says. “Bernard actually gave a glowing recommendation about your skills.”

“He did?”

“You seem surprised?”

“Not that I’m shocked I just didn’t know I would be under recommendation. That’s all.”

“We are always on the look for new and fresh talent Sonia and you are it.”

“But I don’t understand, the kitchen will have two head chefs?” I ask confused.

“Sadly no.” He sighs. “Bernard will be leaving us in a few weeks and he recommended you as his replacement.”

“He did? Me?”

“Yes. You. Did you have anyone else in mind for the job?”

“No. It’s just that I’m in shock. It’s a good thing sir.”

“I understand. It’s been a long time coming.” He laughs. “Then again he was telling us what we already knew. You are one hardworking chef.”

“Thank you sir.”

“This is the beginning of great things Sonia.”

“Thank you Sir.”

“So what do you say Sonia? Are you up for the challenge?”

“Yes!” I laugh. “Yes I am.”

“Well Sonia thank you for the work done and as head chef we expect more innovative meals from you.”

“I won’t let you down sir.” I respond. “Thank you so much. Thank you.”

**********

“You are the most stupid woman I know. The fact that you’re my sister even hurts me more. You’re letting your husband walk out of the house just like that? You can’t even stop him?”

I look at Tendai and roll my eyes before I walk out of the living room. I don’t have to sit and listen to her talk rubbish anymore. Chinyama is not here to listen to us talking so I don’t have to respond to her anymore. Since I walked in on them laughing, she’s not let me have one moment of peace in my own house. She didn’t even ask me how I was doing let alone if I’m okay.

No.

I don’t even know why she’s in my house right now. She hasn’t told me what’s going on. She didn’t even have the audacity to call me before showing up. She chose to call Chinyama first and tell him she was coming to Lusaka and my darling husband instead of calling me took it upon himself to pick her up and drive her home. To my home! I didn’t even have time to be happy at her arrival before she went right into trying to fix Chinyama and I.

And why?

Because my husband chose to tell her part of our marital drama first. The parts she wanted to hear anyway. Tendai didn’t bother to find out if it was true. To her Chinyama was the honest one and I the difficult wife with a hard heart. She literally forced him to stay for dinner so as to mend the gap. To my surprise Chinyama stayed. He literally agreed to stay for dinner and play with the kids. He was civil, and nice to me for some time while Tendai received all the smiles and laughs.

They both were irritating but for the kids I played the perfect host; and the gap fixer Tendai? Well she stayed by his side touching his shoulder or whatever she could touch all night till he left. If it wasn’t for me she would have begged him to stay the night.

“You really letting that man sleep in a lodge ayi? Really? You have such a big house. Lots of space. And you kick him out?” She continues. “Like mama you need to grow up and out of this phase. You still holding onto things he did a while back?”

What does she even know about my marriage for her to judge me? She’s in my house and she’s defending the very man that left his home. I don’t need her talking at all. I head to the kitchen with the sound of her heels behind me.

“I am so disappointed in you Mable. Do you know how many women would want to be in your shoes?” She asks

“Please tell me.” I whisper.

I push the kitchen door and walk into the kitchen, she follows behind me. I walk to the sink and place the plates in the sink. The maids can clean this mess up tomorrow. I’m not in the mood.

“A lot. Cheating husband or not a lot of women would love to be in your shoes with that man for a husband. You have everything you need! Everything! What else do you want? You’ve always been delusional about marriage and love mama.”

I turn around and face my sister. At the age of thirty-four she looks amazing. She’s kept herself fit and healthy that I feel jealous. If I had that body maybe my husband wouldn’t cheat on me. Maybe he would choose me; but then again I know Tendai manages her shape because she’s never had children or extra fat that comes with depression from a broken marriage. Tendai doesn’t even know what it’s like to be married and she’s here judging me for choosing happiness. Wonders never cease to amaze me.

“And to think Chinyama married you after you got pregnant. Like how many men do that? Feel guilt? Feel guilt and marry their baby mamas?”

Is that what it was? Guilt? He married me out of guilt and not love? Is that what he told her? What else had he told my older sister? Why is she still supporting him after all has done to me? She’s supposed to be in my corner being my best friend but no; then again Chinyama and Tendai were always close friends, best friends if they ever got to that stage. They were always together, they would hang out in the same clique, so many thought they would take it further but in the end he married me, her younger sister and settled down.

“Mum will be so disappointed.” She continues. “You need to let this go. Once and for all let it go and get your husband back. You’re gonna lose him.”

“Oh please, shut up.” I respond.

“How dare you.”

“How dare me? Tendai you’re in my house. Mine! And you’re on a bender about my marriage? My husband? Like seriously where do you get off telling me all that trash? Why are you even here? You called my husband when you came to Lusaka? What are you doing here?

“This is isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m your older sister pointing out you’re ruining your marriage.”

“Ruining my marriage? I think my marriage got ruined when my husband cheated on me the first time, don’t you think so too?”

“You need to let that shit go mama. For good or he’ll definitely go to her in the end? Is that what you want? The ridicule you’ll face?”

“Are you kidding me? Is that what he told you? Did he call you here to talk to me about this?”

“Oh please you know perfectly well your husband doesn’t tell me anything. We might be friends but he still respects you.”

“Then why are you up in my business now?”

“Because I care about you.” Tendai says slowly. “Chinyama told me about the living in different homes yes.”

“What else.”

“Nothing. But it’s pretty obvious there is more going on.”

“Paranoia was never your strongest suit Tendai. Please remember this, Chinyama and I are still married. Legally. We are simply living in different houses for now.”

“You think this is a joke? That he will come back to you when you’re done playing? You will lose a perfectly good husband to your jokes. You don’t even realise what you’re losing. You’re so stuck up. I don’t even understand or know why.”

“What is it to you? Whether I’m with him or not is not your business.”

“It is. He’s family. The father to my niece and nephews. Remember your kids. I swear if I did not know better I’d think you’re up to no good.”

“You’re mad.”

“You’re foolish for putting your kids in this predicament.”

“Tendai I swear if you don’t stop I’ll hit you or throw you out.”

“See!! You’re so rude. And you know you’re so lucky that husband of yours even defends you to this date. But one day he won’t.”

“Defends me? What the hell did I do wrong? He cheated. I was pregnant then. That man is still cheating. He still meets up with her. They share her child.”

“Her child? Is it his child? Blood for blood?”

“No.”

“So you’re angry that your husband who is a man is cheating and helping a woman with her child? Is that all?”

“I can’t talk to you anymore. Are you listening to me? You keep talking but you don’t know a thing about my problems with my husband. Stay out of them.”

“You act like you’re so perfect. Look at our family. Our parents. Remember them? That’s reality.”

“Oh please don’t bring them into this. Their marriage is theirs not ours.”

“It’s an example.”

“A horrible one.”

“Realistic.”

“Realistic? How? Mum suffered too remember? She wanted to leave dad.”

“She never left dad. She stayed with him through it all.”

“That’s her. She accepted it all. She accepted you because she couldn’t leave him at the end of the day.”

“Exactly. I’m the child he had outside his marriage but mum didn’t leave him or let him leave for a day. She took me in. She let him stay. They are happier than ever.”

“Tendai I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

I walk passed her towards the kitchen door. I will not have her comparing my marriage to my parents marriage. My mother suffered enough when she found out about dad and Tendai’s mother, the same way I suffered with the Cynthia situation. Now Tendai will try and demean my situation and call me bad. How rich.

“As my younger sister you need to figure out a way to fix the mess. You’re losing too good a man for trash. You’re losing a good man to trash you’ve met that has you lost.” She says.

I stop and turn around, my heart beating so fast I feel Tendai will hear it. What does she know about Isaac? Oh my. This is not good.

“What did you say?” I ask

“You suck at hiding secrets. You suck at being a liar. You met someone.”

“Now I’m the cheater?”

“You were not home when we came. And you showed up late. Who does that? Who is this person who keeps you out. I know your tuma friends work for a living.”

“Wait, so I can’t have friends who don’t work? Or I can’t visit any who do? Gosh I was not home because my husband was home.”

“Look at you trying to hide the truth. Who is he? Who is this man huh? This foolish man that has no idea who he’s dealing with.”

“Are you drunk? Did you have too much to drink?”

“I know you met someone else. I can tell. I know you too well. It’s written all over your face.”

“You are obviously losing it.”

“Mable, there is no way you would be willing to leave Chinyama over stupid shit. I know you. You’ve been fighting to save your marriage for years and now you’re strong enough to let him walk? You’re foolish. You’ll get caught. You’re so lucky your husband is foolishly blind in love with you not to see it all.”

“I’ve had it up to here with you.” I respond. “Enough. I don’t need your trash advice.”

“I’m trying to help you fix your marriage.”

“Don’t help at all. I will get my husband back.”

“With the way you’re acting I don’t think so.”

“Fine. That’s fine with me. Why don’t you concentrate on getting married first. Or even better finding a man first.”

“Do you actually miss your husband? Like do you miss him?”

Of course I miss my husband. Parts of him anyway. I’ve been with the man for so long so I’m bound to miss him when he’s gone.

“Do you miss him?” She repeats.

“What do you think?”

“You’ve left him to be out of this house for over a week and you show no signs of getting him back honey. You need to get your shit together.”

“When it’s time to fix this then it’s time. What is it to you? Let it go. That’s it.”

“I’m not the one who will be getting divorced.”

“Coming from you I’m surprised you’re not happy I’m separated from the man. After all haven’t you been in love with him for years? Holding onto him like he’s your lost love? Just stop it and accept that he’s still married to me. Goodnight Tendai.”

*********

There is no time like the present. Sangu cannot get away from this. We need to stop walking on eggshells in this relationship once and for all. I think I’ve been patient enough with the man and it’s time he opened up about what’s going on between us and his life. I’ve already been dumped once this year, I don’t want to waste time on a man who wants to be with someone else one day. I look at him and the look on his face breaks my heart. He’s not pleased but neither am I. At least I let him have dinner before I demanded for a sit down. Why was supposed to be a celebratory dinner turned into an out of this world full of tension dinner. Maybe I should have waited for another day because now I look like the selfish girlfriend. Pathetic.

“What do you want to know?” He asks.

“Everything. The truth.”

“I’ve been honest with you from the get go Sampa.”

“Except for the part where you forgot to tell me you’re visiting your ex, Penelope, most nights after work.”

Sangu exhales sharply and shifts uncomfortably.

“I’m not cheating on you.” He says

“I never said you were cheating Sangu.”

“Then what? What’s stressing you out?”

“The fact that you lied so many times all in the hopes of seeing her. If you had nothing to hide you would have told me.”

“I didn’t want you…” He pauses and looks at me. He takes a deep breath before he responds calmly. “Didn’t want to piss you off.”

“So you thought lying was the way to go? Now I’m getting pissed off honey.”

“You saying all this as if I wanted to do it.”

“You didn’t want to?”

“Of course not. Penelope and I are over. For good. The only reason I had to do her cheek ups was because mom requested me to help out.”

Of course she did. I knew she was involved in this mess, but then was she the only involved? What if quiet Penelope had suggested it first? What if she wanted Sangu back as well. What if this was the way to get him back? Have them connect over babies I couldn’t give him yet? And only Sangu knows the truth I need to know. I have to find out now or forever keep these thoughts to myself.

“Your mother made you do it?” I ask

Sangu looks away from me and nods. I can tell he’s nervous from the way he rubs his knees with his hands. He’s uncomfortable with my questions.

“She thought Penelope was having issues with the pregnancy. She was worried. So she had Penelope move in with her for a while. Just to keep an eye on her. And then she called me. I didn’t even know Penelope was pregnant.” He says.

“So you’re saying Penelope doesn’t want you back?”

“I don’t know what she wants. We don’t talk about the past and things we missed out on. She knows I’m with you. She knows I’m happy with you.”

“And she also knows I can’t have kids and that you left me on my birthday.”

“Mum revealed that to her not me. Mum is our link. I seriously wouldn’t have known a thing if it wasn’t for mum. I saw Penelope around the house before but I never thought anything of it. Our friendship was strictly that till mum told me.”

“And when was this? When did she first call you about the pregnancy?”

“December. Weeks before new year.”

Weeks before he dumped me on my birthday. Could it be he left me because of her? Was that it?

“Is that why you left? Broke up with me?”

“No!” He responds, too sharply.

He looks at me, his eyes flashing emotions he doesn’t want to show.

“You sure it had no connection?” I push further.

“I told you why I left Sampa. Don’t make me repeat the words.”

“So you found out your ex was pregnant and you became her personal doctor then dumped me, a woman who has low chances of ever getting pregnant weeks later. Surely you can see the connection.”

“You’re overthinking things.”

“Am I?”

“I was overwhelmed. Work. Us. Life. Then my mother. And then Penelope became a factor.”

“Because your mother wanted you guys to get back together. Did she convince you that you were better off with her?”

“My mother wants a lot of things but that doesn’t mean she will get those things.”

“But I’m right she wants you to get back with her? And my inability to have children for the time being makes it worse for you.”

He shrugs. “It doesn’t matter what my mother wants. Penelope and I are done. We are through. Have been for years.”

“Yet she is still priority?”

“To my mother yes. To me she’s a friend who happens to be pregnant. That’s it. The same way I care about Thandiwe.”

“So you didn’t tell me you cared about this friend’s pregnancy because you wanted your mother to do it for you?”

“Sampa..”

He reaches out to touch my hand and I slap his hand away instead.

“No, you embarrassed me. And your mother seemed happy with the result. You literally went all putty in her ploy to make me feel bad. I know I can’t have kids but I don’t need you or your family judging me for it.”

“Babe.”

He attempts to grab my hand again. I push his hands away and stand up.

“No. Don’t touch me. You are lying to me. Hiding things. What else are you hiding?”

“Nothing.”

“So this week with the dinners? The cooking and taking care of everything has been nothing?”

“Sampa you know me. You know I love you. You’ve been stressed, the Thandiwe accident had you lost. I stepped up because you needed me. That’s my job as your boyfriend.”

He stands up and we face each other.

“Nothing more?” I ask.

“Nothing less.”

“So if you love me then why are still only dating five years later.”

“What?”

“Why are we still at this phase. This. Right now.”

“Sampa really. There so is much stuff to sort out.”

“So that’s why we are still in a relationship not taking this further? Like I think we are stuck in limbo waiting for your mother to get used to me?”

“It’s not like that at all. I have…. No.. We have much to do before we take that step Sampa.”

“Like what? Turn thirty? Get a house? Get better pay? What? We’ve done all that.” I respond. “Or you’re waiting for something else’s? A baby?”

“Gosh Sampa.”

“No. You need to accept that being with me means we might not have kids.”

He closes the gap between us. He wraps his arms around me and looks down at me.

“I accepted that.” He whispers.

“Are you sure? Because your family seems to think you’ll be a great dad to Penelope’s baby.”

“Did my mother tell you that? I swear if she even implied that to you I’m going to talk to her about this shit. It’s got to stop. Sampa, I love you. Baby or no baby, I’m still here.”

“Maybe you need to think about this. All of it. Then decide. Take time off and think. Whatever choice you’ll mane is cool.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asks shocked.

“No. I just want you to be sure Sangu.”

“Sampa.”

“I love you Sangu but I’m not going to be some second option in your plans.”

“You were never a second option. You’re my only choice. I left you before and that was wrong and I will make sure you forgive me one day but I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“Your mother will beg to differ.”

“I swear I’m sitting my mother down once and for all.”

“She will hate me even more.”

“Well hating you is hating me.”

He leans in and kisses my cheek.

“Don’t kiss me. I’m still angry with you.”

“I need you smiling. I’ll do anything to have you kissing me. You want me to stop checking up on Penelope then I’ll do just that. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Done.”

“No more secrets.”

“Done. You gotta promise not to hold things in for too long.”

“I promise.”

“Also let me spoil my girlfriend to dinner while I still have the time.”

“Fine. Gosh Sangu. What am I to do with you?”

“Love me babe. Just love me.” He laughs.

And he kisses me. And that’s all that matters right now.

**********

I hate her. I hate her.

I hate her for being somewhat right. I’ve been married to Chinyama for so long, I’ve fought the battles that came with marrying him. I beat Cynthia to keep my husband. And now I’m willing to let this all go? Why now?

Isaac?

Or am I doing this for me? To be free and happy without Chinyama. Our marriage is damaged, and whether or not it can be fixed time will tell. I miss him, I should miss Chinyama. He’s my husband. Maybe we have been separated for long enough. What if he decides to leave me. For good. I can’t let that happen. But then am I willing to let go of Isaac in the process. Or maybe I can keep them both while I decide.

The sound of my phone ringing makes me turn on the bed. I reach for my phone and shake my head as I look at Isaac’s name flashing on my screen. Tendai could tell I have another man, I don’t understand how she picked up on my secret while my friends failed to notice it. What if she tells Chinyama the her suspicions? What then? Maybe avoiding Isaac would be best for now.

I stare at the phone a second later and I click to answer.

**********

“I swear I hate the fact that I have to face an empty house. I think I need a roommate.”

“You love being alone Yoli.”

Mutale’s eyes twinkle with amusement and something else I can’t read. I hate him when he’s like this, excited like a little boy who just discovered what his favourite body part is used for. He’s been like this since I got to his place. His very new place. The man has made some changes in the time we’ve been apart with the first thing being him finding a job.

Mutale didn’t waste showing me every inch of his house the minute we arrived. He was happy and proud of himself, going as far as naming it “the move that changed his destiny.” For a while as I followed him around I couldn’t connect him to the man I used to date- the man I over spoiled and literally took care of who was now living the life I always knew he would lead.

Dumping me and moving on looks like the best thing that ever happened to him and for the first time I am actually happy for the man. I should hate him, I should be cursing his name and telling the world the man is a pig but here I am in his kitchen, a glass of whiskey in my hand laughing with the man that broke my heart months ago.

“If you’re being serious why don’t you get one of your friends to live with you?” He asks.

“I swear you are the worst boyfriend I ever had.” I laugh. “Sampa lives with Sangu, Mable and Thandiwe are married and Sonia is engaged. You seriously never paid attention.”

“Thandiwe is the one who was in the accident right?”

“Yes.”

“See I pay attention. Besides you have more friends that the favourite four.” He argues.

“Not ones I can tolerate like my besties.”

“The always having fun aspect?”

“The no judgment part more than the fun. I am crazy sometimes.”

“That I know.”

“I know you know Mutale. You’re as crazy as me.”

I stick my tongue and he repeats the act. I missed him; I miss the random late night chats even more. Mutale was my friend through and through. What we had was beautiful, some part of it anyway.

“Do you miss us? Me?” He asks

Finally he brings it out. The dreaded question acting as an elephant in the room. Of course I missed him. Some part of me should him but with way I’ve been living my life I haven’t had the chance to admit that to myself. Do I miss him? Or the idea of being with him?

“Well I called you so obviously I must miss something. You couldn’t even call me.”

“I tried. You blocked me.”

“You deserved it.”

I meet his gaze and smile.

“I definitely missed this.” He laughs.

“What?”

“This. Talking to you.” He says. “Being with you. There is something about you Yolanda.”

Just old times, me sitting on top of the chest freezer, he parts my legs apart and stands in between them.

This is not what I planned for.

This is not how I saw this “meeting to end the boredom” going. So much for talking.

Maybe I should have worn the red lingerie set, the one made up of all lace and nothing else. Why the hell am I thinking about lingerie.

“I miss you.” He whispers.

I lift up my head to meet him staring down, his eyes, firmly centered on my eyes. He tips my chin upwards, our faces were just inches apart, Mutale whispers gently and in an unnaturally hoarse voice.

“Yoli, I never stopped loving you”

In one swift motion, his head dips down, his lips find mine with such force and passion, I clench my eyes to brace myself. I kiss Mutale back as madly as I can, my hands grabbing the nape of his neck, pulling him in for more. Our lips lock in close combat, my tongue desperately dueling his and savouring the sweet sensation coursing down. Two minutes seems like an hour before we break up for some needed air, his eyes almost bloodshot with need, passion and lust.

Our eyes meet once again, and this time no words are needed for the encore. I push myself against his chest, positioning myself better on the hard surface of the chest freezer as Mutale’s lips come searching once again for mine. This time his gentle self attempts to gain some semblance of control as his kisses are much more softer and restrained; his fumbling hands on the buttons of my shirt tells me about the futile battle he is fighting. I smile against his lips in need. I want more of him and I know Mutale will not disappoint.

Mutale marks every spot of my face with his kisses; he gives me one lasting kiss before he abruptly breaks our interlocked lips and retreads a step or two. I look at him, an incredulous look on my face as I catch my breath. He runs a hand over his face groaning. Mutale keeps his gaze on me, the lust and passion unmistakably still stalking his eyes as he exhales.

“I’m sorry Yoli, we can’t do this.” He starts. “Not yet.”

“Yet?” I laugh.

He wants this as much as I want this.

“What do you mean by “you can’t do this”, Mutale?” I growl back at him. “You don’t go passionately kissing your ex you’re still in love with when you aren’t prepared to go all the way” I shout at him.

“You want this?” He asks.

“You started it.” I sigh.

“We are supposed to talk remember. Cure your boredom.” He responds, the calm, collected gentleman makes a return as he leans against the refrigerator.

I shake my head slowly, as I avoid his eyes.

“Fine.” I retort. “Let’s keep talking.”

” I love how you always switch from passionate Yoli to calm Yoli.”

“Well I’m not in the mood for jokes. Let’s talk.”

He smiles and walks back to me, between my legs. Mutale wants to play and I have all the time in the world. He dips his head lower for a brief moment, as if seeking for the truth in my eyes. His hands grab the sides of my face and he kisses me, gently. None of our eyes close as his lips massage mine into submission. He pulls away from me but his hands stay on my face. He gives a bitter laugh.

“I’m getting married on Saturday, Yoli.”

I freeze. Goosebumps all over my skin as his words replay on my mind. He’s getting married and yet I’m here in his arms kissing him like old times? What’s he playing at? Our eyes meet and I see what looks like remorse on his face. I wish I could slap his face to hell right now but I don’t. He’s leaving me forever.

“Say something.” He whispers.

What do I say? Congratulations? What? Am I really happy about this piece of information? Why is he marrying her so soon? Is she pregnant? What is he up to? What do I do? Sitting on his freezer, wanting him. I should leave now. Why stay? This is a taken man. I’m better off with the love you now Mr Forty or the ever angry but nice Masulani. Mutale is my past. I lift my hands to his face and smile.

“Congratulations boo.” I whisper.

Goodbye? That’s all I have to say next and I’m so gone. This is it.

“Mutale.” I whisper.

I pull his head closer to mine and merge my lips with his.

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