#Mike-n-Ike Studios

[da-ill-spot]

Music Video: Okie Doke & Seefor Yourself- Mike Jack Summer

Ch-check it! New heat from the fam Okie Doke and Seefor Yourself with “Mike Jack Summer.” It was produced by Seefor and the video was shot and directed by Mike Griffen of Mike-n-Ike Studios.

You can stream and support with a download of the track here!

[mypalbuck]

SOMETHING GREAT —CHAPTER 1

The day you lost your fiancé to the blip was the worst day of your life. Well, you thought it was until he returned to you and decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore. That was the worst day of your life. Heartbroken, your friends encourage you to sign up for online dating. With nothing to lose you sign up and stumble across a familiar face, a 106 year old super soldier who is sweet as honey. Will love blossom? Or will past experiences sabotage something great?

↳ in which your first tinder match isn’t what you expected (social media au)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: crude language, failed relationship, mentions of cheating, mentions of beating an cheating ex bf’s ass

Word count: 1.8k

a/n: this first chapter has more writing than social media ik but it is needed to set the story! future chapters will either be all social media, all written or a mix of both! (anything written in italics is a flashback)

“I’m leaving you, y/n”

All it took was four words for your life to fall apart. The five years where Mike was nothing but dust was torture for you, all those sleepless nights where you cried yourself to sleep wishing and hoping he would return to you were all in vain. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Five words that cut deeper than a knife. You wanted nothing more than to beg him to stay, but your pride knew that it would be pointless, he had made up his mind. There you sat in the middle of your shared living room, mascara dripping down your face. Oh how your friend Vanya would grimace at the sight. “I have nowhere to go...” you whispered sadly, expecting Mike’s stern gesture to soften at your vulnerability but it didn’t. 

“Not my problem! Figure it out.” Mike moved to walk out of the door, but you mustered the courage and yelled out to him. “There’s someone else, isn't there Mike...” He spun on his heel and without so much as blinking he replied “My assistant. Now hurry up and pack your shit, she’ll be here soon.” 

Nodding your head, you packed what little things you owned into your worn out suitcase. It wasn’t the first time Mike kicked you out, you knew the drill. Maybe that’s why you left the majority of your belongings in a storage container. With one final look at the apartment, you moved towards the door to leave. 

“Y/n, wait!” Mike yelled out and your heart leapt for joy. He changed his mind. He jogged up towards you and held his hand out. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before placing your free hand in his palm. Slapping away your hand, he sighed frustrated. 

“I don’t want to hold your stupid hand, I want my ring back.” You looked down to the sparkly ring on your finger, pulling it off your finger you looked at the engraving on the inside “Love, Mike.” You thought it was strange that it said that, normally couples put their initials in the ring to symbolise their eternal love. You guess that Mike wanted to reuse the ring whenever it seemed to fit him. Yuck. Looking up at your former fiancé, you let out a bitter chuckle before pegging the ring at his forehead and leaving. You heard Mike yell out insults towards you, but for the first time you didn’t care. You simply left. You felt fine… until it dawned on you that you were now homeless.

“Taxi!” you yelled from the side of the road. Unlike in the movies, the taxis didn’t stop for you. “Assholes” you muttered as you began walking for gods know how long until you passed a sushi restaurant busy with customers eating their dinner. You stood there for a moment, staring at some of the couples laughing and eating inside when a memory filled your mind.

“What do you want for dinner, Mike?” you asked lovingly, it was the first night you two had moved into your shared apartment. When you heard no response you walked into his office.

“Babe? Did you hear what I said?” you walk further into his office only to see it empty. “Where is that man?” you grab your phone and call him, just as you were about to hang up he answered. “What?” his response made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I just got out of the shower and you weren’t in your office like you said you’d be.” you heard a scoff and some whispering on the other end of the phone before Mike responded “I got called back into work, there was a bug in the coding I have to fix for tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Aw my fiancé is such a hard worker! How about I pick up some sushi for us and come keep you company while you work?” you suggested, placing the phone on your shoulder as you started to get ready to go. “No. I hate sushi.” the phone suddenly fell from your shoulder to the ground. Since when did he hate sushi? What on earth was up with him? You leant down to pick up the phone but realised that Mike had hung up on you.

You laugh bitterly, shaking away the memory. You should’ve known something was up after that phone call. Your first date was at a sushi restaurant, he picked the place! Since that night you never had sushi again. Not even when Mike was blipped away.

Well fuck you Mike!

You loved sushi and you would be treating yourself to some tonight. Stepping foot into the restaurant you take in the aromas of the food being cooked and sigh happily taking a seat at the sushi train. The lady working there smiles at you “Can I get you a drink?” smiling back at you, you reply back with just a water. The waitress turns to the old man sitting next to you “Yori?” she asks “A bottle of nihonshu and two shot glasses.” nodding her head, the waitress moved to get the drink. 

“Rough day? I’m Yori.” the old man greets you, turning and placing one of the shot glasses in front of you. “Y/n and you have no idea!” you sigh, taking the shot, the burn of the alcohol feeling nice. Yori grabbed a plate of sushi off the train and placed it in front of you. “Eat and then we can talk.” your heart began to swell at the kindness of this stranger, following his instructions you began to eat and drink until you were full and tipsy. 

“That bastard! Why would he do that to a nice girl like you?” Yori sighed sadly, patting your back comfortingly as you cried. “I d-don’t know…” you choked a sob before moving to take another shot. Yori reached for the shot glass and moved it away, “Is there anyone you can call to come get you?” you nod your head, mascara streaming down your cheeks. You hand Yori your phone and he makes a call to your friend Vanya and explains everything, at first she was confused but tells Yori that she knows the place and is on her way to get you. In the midst of your meltdown, you begin searching through your bag for your wallet to get money out to pay for your food and the drink but Yori puts the money back in your hand before handing his own money to the waitress covering both your meals. “It’s on me, Y/n. It’s the least I can do.” you begin to cry again, Yori pulls you into a hug. 

“Y?N!” Vanya burst into the restaurant, all eyes were on your beautiful friend as she rushed towards you and checked you for any injuries before pulling you into a hug. “I’m going to castrate that mother fu-” you begin to laugh, sobering up you stand up grabbing your suitcase and handbag before turning to Yori. “Next meal is on me, Yori.” the man smiles at you and nods in agreement. “Do you need a life home?” Vanya asks the man, wanting to do something in return for looking after you. “No need, my friend is planning to meet me here in a bit. You would like him y/n!” you smiled “Maybe another time, I should get going.” Understanding, Yori bid you both farewell.

“Vanya, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t think of anyone else to call…” you arrived at Vanya’s studio apartment. “Are you kidding me, Y/n? What kind of friend do you think I am?” Vanya moved to the fridge, pulling out ice cream and beer. Kicking off your shoes, you move to sit on the lounge. Vanya moved to sit next to you, handing you some ice cream and a beer. “Now tell me everything.”

“I’M GOING TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY! SLOWLY SO HE CAN FEEL THE PAIN YOU’RE FEELING RIGHT NOW.” Vanya growled, standing up and putting her boots back on. Rushing over to her, you grabbed hold of her leg so she couldn’t move.

“No, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I’m hurt.” Vanya shook her leg trying to get you to let go “But he can’t get away with it!” you let go of Vanya’s leg. “I’m not.” you walked back to sit on the lounge. “Do you have a plan?” Vanya sat down next to you.

You nodded your head yes “To start fresh, to be happy.” Vanya smiled in agreement “Revenge is a dish best served with a smile.” grabbing your phone, Vanya started typing away. “What are you doing?” you watched in horror as you watched your friend was set up a tinder account for you. “Vanya are you serious!” you tried to grab the phone from her, but she moved it further away from you and winked “Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.” You rolled your eyes and took your phone. “I’m not sleeping with a stranger, I just got out of a long term relationship”. Vanya took a sip of her beer “Just have a look, it doesn’t hurt to look does it?” you laughed “You’re not wrong… let me set up my profile how I want it”.

Scrolling through you didn’t swipe right on anyone you saw, all the same profiles trying to show off or hook up. That’s not what you were looking for. To be honest, you weren’t sure what you were looking for until your page was refreshed and you were stunned looking at the most handsome man.

“Wow!...” you gasped, showing your phone to Vanya who nodded in approval. “He’s so cute, in a you know a he can snap me in half way.” you giggled at your friends crude language before reading his description “Hi my name is Bucky. I honestly don’t know what to write here… I’m a pretty nice guy. I like sushi!...” Vanya cheered “Someone to take you out for sushi, I bet Yori would love him!” you laughed at your friend and nodded in agreement. “How old is he?” your eyes sweeped the screen looking for his age and widened at the sight of a triple digit number “106…” 

“Very funny, Y/n. How old is he really?” you scanned the screen again before reply “106.” Vanya grabbed the phone from your hand and saw for herself. You gasped in realisation “That’s Bucky Barnes, former Howling Commando!” Vanya laughed, “Like Captain America, Bucky?” you nodded your head. “Well, what are you waiting for? Swipe!” you nodded your head and swiped right. Your heart beated out of your chest when suddenly you jumped up making Vanya spill some of her beer. 

“WE MATCHED!” You and Vanya began to jump and squeal. Maybe this was happening for a reason, you can’t deny that something changed when Mike came back. The spark you two once had, died many years ago. Perhaps this all happened in order for you to find someone who truly loved you. For you to have something great.

“WELL! MESSAGE HIM!” Vanya yelled, rushing to grab some popcorn for you both. You nodded your head and opened a new chat.

“Here’s to something great”.

next

Tag list: (Tried to tag some ppl but it didn’t work so if your user has a line through it, it didn’t let me tag u :( pls message me so we can fix it!

@mooonmaiden @whatrambles @kaitieskidmore1 @black-sky-always @crimson-darling @kittengirl998 @laheysscarf  @aniia-x3 @kmuir1 @thatone1fangirl @the-chocoholic-writer @allhailthewxtcher @jjlizz @grace-writes-shit @xx-marvelfanatic-xx @cherryblossomskye​  

send me an ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist :)

[willowistic22]

Van life!newsies headcanons

Hello, i have recently been obsessing and/or pining over living in a van/bus. So i will project my pining to my favorite pretty paper boys like what everyone does in the newsies fandom! Very healthy and smart idk lol so here’s my take on this au for each of my ships!

*i know some ppl might not agree with all these ships but these are just my personal favorites pls don’t come after me for something i like :)*

@jaelynn-is-slightly-confused thanks for deciding which headcanons i should write first :)

A pretty long list so you might have to sit down for this one 

Javid

They converted an old american school bus

I actually have a headcanon that modern!jack comes from a rich family (maybe not the family his parents were born into but his parents worked pretty hard to be successful y’know) so that’s how they were able to buy an old school bus

So they were able to fit in a shower (not one of those foldable kinds) and a built in toilet. A pretty decent kitchen. A stove, oven, microwave, and all the other utilities necessary. Was able to fit both a washing machine and a dryer. Has a proper closet.

To fit davey’s needs, they put in a tiny book shelf. But it’s too tiny to fit in all of davey’s book (he’s got a shelf full) and was forced to give some of them away he cried a little. Jack did the same for his art supplies he cried a lot.

Jack is an illustrator and Davey is a writer. (Davey the hopeless romantic Jacobs mostly writes romance wow what a shocker) If Jack can find the time to paint on a canvas he will. It usually ends up getting sold which he doesn’t mind. 

Jack painted every inch of the bus exterior wow we’re all so shocked no we aren’t I lied :) "Jack why...” “We need to be festive when we travel, Dave!” *face palms*

They have one cat which is still nameless in my head so ://

Newsbians

They live in a school bus 

Kathrine’s a Pulitzer so you know how they can freely afford it (now that i think abt it i think old school busses sell for really cheap prices but idk) 

The shower and closet are a must have for Kathrine. She takes over most of the closet space and takes the longest in the shower. Sarah is a foodie so she built herself a whole kitchen and Kathrine is not allowed to touch anything without her permission. Even fitting in a huge fridge. They also fit in a proper working desk and a couch. Also made some sort of balcony on top of their bus so they can stargaze on top of there 

Kathrine is a reporter and Sarah is a physician in the telemedicine industry (she meets patients through video calls and such, not face to face) 

Morning coffee is a tradition for them at this point. They cannot drive the bus without having one cup of coffee 

They have two cats still nameless too ://

Ikeshot (lmao moving to my rarepairs so quickly. i mean i originally reserved the van life headcanon for them but i got too obsessed and now i’m writing this list hehe) 

They settled with a sprinter van 

it started just as an idea for their honeymoon to do a road trip around the us, but it ended up being longer than a hundred days of honeymoon and it turns into being their first proper room 

Their shower is built in and it can only fit one person. The bed takes up the whole back space. Their closet is kinda small but they don’t mind bcs Ike mostly lives in Hotshot’s clothes anyways. The kitchen is limited but they have a pullout barbeque at the back of their van, under their bed. Hotshot is a master at barbequing. 

Ike is a translator and interpreter. He also uses his hobby in crocheting to build a small business he makes cardigans :) (credit to @violetwolfraven for that little idea) Hotshot is an accountant. Very boring ik but i have a headcanon he’s good with numbers so that’s cool (well idk i feel like he’s good with math and economics) 

Bringing the playstation has always been a priority, so they built in a tv. They like to chill in the bed and play together. Mario kart is a ruthless game  

Occasional weird midnight dancing sessions is a tradition 

they have a cat named Sparks and a dog named Lewis. It’s a dalmatian which made Hotshot tempted to name him Spot :) 

*cut to a vicious argument between Spot and Hotshot which was also egged on by Ike and Race* 

Jomike (ok look i love my rarepairs alright pls let me ship in peace) 

They got a sprinter van 

Their kitchen took up most the space bcs mike and jojo are practically professional chefs. When asked to throw down in the kitchen, they will thRO W   D O W N

They even use a teal palette specifically for their kitchen. They have a one person shower but no built in toilet. a fair amount of plants as decoration. in the back of their van, they have a built in pull out dining table and two benches (built under their bed so they’d have to stop and open the back door to have a proper dinner) 

Jojo is a reporter and mike is a computer programmer. Their job requires a proper desk to work on so they just installed a foldable table in between their seats up front. 

their clothes are just stored in cabinets since they share anyways. it leaves a good amount of wall space to play a projector for netflix *cue the soft cuddling in bed* 

breakfast in bed is the most on brand thing for them to do 

they have a cat named Dixeleta. She’s an outdoor cat so they have fun doing outdoor activities together. Hiking, kayaking, etc. 

Sprace 

They live in an old sprinter van Spot got from an old family member

They have the type of bed that can turn into a living room (seats and table etc). They use a foldable shower bcs they want the space. Their kitchen can be extended out with a latch by their sliding door but that’s only when they need to use a stove and oven. Since they’re the type of people that just throws on the closest clothes they can grab they just use cabinets to store their clothes. 

ok i’ve mentioned it before about sprace but i’ll mention it again. They have three cats named Racecat, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow :D all named by race if you’re wondering. 

So Race is a social media manager and Spot is a physician in the telemedicine industry. 

They’re very lazy to constantly look for a coin laundry service. They make a schedule to do the laundry once a week but sometimes they just forget. 

Their first drive of the day will always include karaoke. They can’t tell whether their cats love or hate their singing voice most likely the latter but they’re in denial.

They cuddle each other in bed with their cats. While watching tv, to sleep, or just chilling together. 

Redfinch 

They got a mini bus

They have a built in shower, bathroom, and closet (not sure why since they don’t really care about their clothes all that much) They have a proper kitchen, fit a washing machine and dryer, plus a little seating area with a small table 

They have two big doberman named Zara and Zoey and a cat named Marbles. Pretty outdoor pets so they frequently take them out for hikes and such 

They have a ‘balcony’ on top of their mini bus to chill together. As in all five of them :)

Finch is a music producer and Albert is a photographer and videographer. Albert mostly works with tourist as their personal photographer, but he has land gigs with big companies/people. Finch works with a label that has given him to opportunity to work at home but sometime still need to stop by a studio to meet with artists or other producers. 

Finch only needs space to store his laptop, notebooks, and guitar (but he ends up hanging it on the wall anyways). Albert takes up a whole cabinet for all of his equipment. 

Not Finch waking up at an ungodly hour when a spark of inspiration comes to him, which ends up waking everyone in the bus. *cut to Albert furiously dragging him back to bed*

They installed a tv near their bed for playstation sessions or cuddling throughout a movie

Their driving karaoke is usually accompanied by their dogs which only tortures Marbles. She hides under the blanket to save her ears. smart cat hehe

Snipesmalls (Never wrote anything for them but I do love these girls :)) 

They converted a mini bus 

Sniper takes up most of the closet space, but it doesn’t matter because they share clothes anyways. A built in toilet and shower. Their kitchen has a navy blue theme to it. It was Smalls’ idea. They have a washing machine and dryer and also a proper dining table.

Sniper is a nurse in the telehealth industry (basically just like telemedicine but deals with more than just clinical services) and Smalls is a medical transcriptionist. 

They have an Australian Shepherd named Blue. It’s because of her blue eyes it’s so beautiful :O Blue likes to stick his head out while driving. 

They have a built in tv for their playstation and movies but sometimes they bring out the projector to watch while chilling outside. 

They have done the most traveling. Hopping from the US to Europe and Asia. 

They may like to share clothes but Sniper really likes to be fashionable wherever she goes. “Ok so since we’re planning to go hiking tomorrow, which hat should I use?” “Sniper, we’re hiking up a mountain, not a vogue fashion runway” “And so what if I pretend we are? Use your imagination babe! Now which one?” *sighing*

It is a nightmare to convince Sniper to give away some of their clothes She cries every time her clothes are being given away but gets happy when they go shopping for new ones and it’s the same cycle every time this happens  

They also like to go to music festivals and have picnics together 

Blush 

They live in a mini bus

They rarely buy clothes or give them away plus they share clothes so the closet is pretty small but hella messy because they’re lazy at folding their clothes away. A simple built in shower and also a foldable toilet. The kitchen is pretty equipped because Mush is a master chef. They have a little seating area with a table. Alternating as a working desk and dining table

Mush is a dietitian and Blink is a therapist, both in the telemedicine industry. 

Neither is allowed to drive if they haven’t gotten their morning coffee 

Mush is mostly then one doing the karaoke while Blink drives 

they like to have picnics together

goes to random concerts. it doesn’t need to be a really big artist. they’d simply be happy if they get tickets to any sort of concert. They prefer to see local underground artists to discover more music and such but they sometimes save up to watch big artists too. 

they’ve only been around the us and canada but are planning on going to other countries too 

Belmerttons 

they live in an old school bus 

So buttons is a huge fashionista so there is a proper closet and drawers that are mostly used by himself. A built in bathroom and the door has a mirror per buttons request. they also fit a washing machien and dryer in the bus per buttons request too. Their bed is full of decorative pillows and a few stuffed animals per elmer’s request. Their kitchen is small but does the trick. also has a little seating area with a table 

Buttons is a fashion stylist but also a designer. Elmer is a math tutor for all ages

they love going to different kind of events and festivals. one of the reasons why they wanted to live on the road in the first place 

to get buttons to give away his old clothes, elmer has to assure him it’s for a good cause bcs buttons loves all his clothes. Buttons still get a little sad and pouty when those days come but picks himself up again when elmer offers a disney movie night on the projector with some snacks

oh yes, they bring lots of snacks on the road 

They have a cat. still nameless soz 

the cat is very fluffy and sheds a lot. which is kind of a problem especially on buttons clothes 

“you’re lucky you have a cute face” -buttons while he’s cleaning the fur off his clothes 

Spromeo 

they live in a mini bus but kinda looks like a hippie van (idk how to describe it but it’s a mini bus with a hippie kind of style to it yknow) 

they have two separate areas in the bus. one up front where the driver and passenger seat is. also coupled with a tiny sofa and a table. that’s where they do their work and dine. very comfy and cozy. 

it’s seperated by a thin wooden wall. through the doorway is where the rest of their living quarters are. a bed, small kitchen but fully equipped, a shower, and foldable toilet. instead of a closet, they use a dresser since they don’t really have many clothes anyways 

so specs is a history teacher and tutor for all ages. (he’s a history nerd hehe). Romeo is a photographer and cinematographer. mostly a tourist photographer (kinda like albert yknow) 

specs likes reading history books, but he mostly does his reading on his tablet and laptop to save space. the same for romeo and comics btw 

their bed is full of pillows 

they have a cat named snowy. a lazy indoor cat. but she loves to cuddle with them in bed

they’ve also done some traveling to other countries. mostly neighboring countries but are dreaming of going to places in europe and asia. 

they enjoy doing lots of board games when they’re not driving 

romeo has a ukulele which he constantly uses to serenade to specs. sometimes to snowy but mostly specs 

woah that was long akjghflkjasfbj; h. will i write a oneshot with this headcanon? maybe but who knows. just needed to put it out there that i’m pining on living on the road with the loml and some cats and go on an adventure together. anyways hope whoever reads this enjoy and sorry for writing a long headcanon list hehe 

[aion-rsa]

Back to the Future: The Real Johnny B. Goode Rocked Long Before Marty McFly

https://ift.tt/2QFxici

Back to the Future is a classic comedy, one of the most popular films in motion picture history. Almost every laugh line lands with a perfectly executed punch. Every skateboard flip is a motion picture wonder. It’s one of those films which is broadly silly yet still has heart, and it’s a treasure of commercial cinema. But when Michael J. Fox’s Marty McFly straps on a cherry red Gibson ES-345 he plunders the golden oldies right out of the fingers of the true original. Ignore the bit where “Marvin Berry” calls his cousin on the phone. Chuck Berry didn’t just write “Johnny B. Goode,” he was Johnny B. Goode. 

The song about the country boy who could play guitar like ringing a bell could have referred to any number of musicians, from Buddy Holly to Bo Diddley or Ricky Nelson. But the singer-songwriting guitarist who penned the line was born at 2520 Goode Avenue, in St. Louis.

Berry had already made his concession to white commercialism by changing the line “that little colored boy could play” to “that little country boy.” Oh my. But then for years, the Father of Rock and Roll watched the self-styled King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, put his stamp on Berry’s signature. The royalties were sweet though for Berry, and the respect was mutual.

But the backhanded homage in the time-traveling 1985 comedy is really a cheap gag, and the joke is at the expense of Berry’s legacy.

“Long Distance information? Get Me Memphis, Tennesse”

“Chuck! Chuck, it’s Marvin, your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you’re looking for?” the fictional bandleader yells into a pay phone at the 1955 Enchantment Under the Sea dance in Hill Valley, California. “Listen to this!”

We then hear the subtle sound of casual racial invalidation. Not only does the line denigrate Berry’s contribution to the architecture of rock and roll; it completely sidelines guitarist Carl Hogan who initiated the opening guitar phrasing on Louis Jordan’s 1946 pre-rock and roll song “Ain’t That Just Like a Woman.” Think, McFly. Think!

Michael J. Fox already has a perfectly winning comic ending to the now-iconic scene: when his fingers stretch back to the future, and he channels Eddie Van Halen on the guitar, even the kids at the 1950s dance think he should act his age. So why does director and co-screenwriter Robert Zemeckis feel the need to shit on Chuck Berry with such a disposable throw-away gag? It is even more insulting when you take into consideration who Berry had to sue over the course of his career for stealing his riffs.

Indicative of a long-standing music industry tradition, the two biggest names in white rock and roll, the Beatles and the Beach Boys, had to cough up to the pioneering artist after infringing on his copyrights. Berry sued to get his name on the Beach Boys’ hit “Surfin’ USA” while John Lennon agreed to cover two songs owned by Berry’s publisher in exchange for copping lines from “You Can’t Catch Me” for the song “Come Together.”

But Lennon still declared “If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry,’” when he introduced him on The Mike Douglas Show in 1972. “In the 1950s, a whole generation worshipped his music, and when you see him today, past and present all come together, and the message is Hail, Hail Rock and Roll.’”

He Could Play a Guitar Just Like a-Ringin’ a Bell

Berry was the first-ever Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee, and in the same class as James Brown, Ray Charles, Fats Domino, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Presley. With songs like “Maybellene,” “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Little Queenie,” “Havana Moon,” “Wee Wee Hours,” “Rock and Roll Music,” and “Sweet Little 16,” Berry scored the soundtrack to the 1950s.

Berry didn’t invent rock and roll. Ike Turner is credited with that for his 1951 song, “Rocket 88.”  Berry recorded his first hit “Maybellene” in 1955 at Chicago’s Chess Studios, the home of the blues. Berry sped up the blues to a country thump and let his fingers do to guitar strings what lips did to horns.

Berry made rock and roll fun, funny, and subtly rebellious. The teenager in “You Can’t Catch Me” is motorvating away from the cops. His “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” hit a home run with color coded racial pride. The artist who was glad, so glad, he was “living in the U.S.A.” (in the song “Back in the U.S.A.”) was barred from many of the things he found so wondrous in this country to sing about.

Almost Grown

Charles Edward Anderson Berry was born on Oct. 18, 1926. His St. Louis neighborhood, “The Ville,” was segregated. His great-grandparents were slaves. In 1944, Berry was arrested for driving along in an automobile he carjacked at gunpoint after robbing three stores in Kansas City. He did a three-year stint in reform school.

Berry began playing music professionally when he was in his mid-20s, sitting in with local bands like piano player Johnnie Johnson’s group, Sir John’s Trio. Blues icon Muddy Waters suggested Berry bring his songs to Chess Records where Howlin’ Wolf, the Moonglows, and Big Bill Broonzy were recording sides. Label owner Leonard Chess had a good feeling about the song “Ida Red.” 

Read more

Movies

The History of Back to the Future Began With a High School Yearbook

By Chris Cummins

Movies

The United States vs. Billie Holiday: The Federal Bureau of Narcotics Was Formed to Kill Jazz

By Tony Sokol

Berry renamed the song “Maybellene” when he recorded it on May 21, 1955. It was Berry’s first nationwide hit. He was 28. Willie Dixon was on bass, Johnnie Johnson played piano, Jerome Green shook maracas, and Ebby Hardy beat the drums. Alan Freed and Russ Fratto didn’t do anything for the song, but their names are on the credits as co-songwriters. They effectively collected royalties for teaching Berry a valuable lesson.

Chuck Berry wrote all the songs on his first album, After School Session, which was released in May 1957. It was the same for his next two albums. Berry didn’t include any covers on his albums at all until his fourth album, Rockin’ at the Hops, released in July 1960. Berry starred in some of Alan Freed’s jukebox movies like Rock Rock Rock!, Mister Rock and Roll, and Go, Johnny, Go! He also appeared in Jazz on a Summer’s Day, a 1959 documentary about the Newport Jazz Festival.

“No Need to Be Complainin’, My Objections Overruled”

Berry was arrested in St. Louis, Missouri, in December 1959 for transporting Janice Norine Escalan, a 14-year-old hatcheck girl at Club Bandstand in Juarez, Mexico, across state lines for “immoral purposes.”  He was charged under the Mann Act. Berry argued he was offering legitimate employment. An all-male, all-white jury found him guilty on March 11, 1960. Berry appealed, but the conviction was upheld at a 1961 trial. Berry was sentenced to three years. He served 18 months and was released from prison in 1964.

Berry’s career never quite took off again. He had some hits in 1964 and 1965, “Nadine,” “No Particular Place to Go,” “You Never Can Tell,” and “Promised Land.” He was one of the artists in the 1964 concert film The TAMI Show. Berry’s last number 1 hit, “My Ding-a-Ling,” was recorded live in London in 1972 for The London Chuck Berry Sessions album.

Berry never stopped playing live. He traveled with only his guitar and a briefcase for his money, and would grab local bar bands to back him when he hit town. Everyone knew Chuck Berry songs. Simple, three-chord pangs to teenage love, cars and safety belts. Bandleaders like Bruce Springsteen and Steve Miller eagerly lent their fingers and bands to the light traveling guitar player. Most groups were thrilled to get the chance to play for a legend when they weren’t harangued for bending a string too far on an intro. Not even Keith Richards got away with that, just watch the rehearsal portion of the 1987 documentary Hail! Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The Rolling Stones’ guitarist had already been brought in as a surprise backing player for a 1972 Los Angeles show where he was kicked off the stage for setting his amp too loud. Berry would also give Richards a black eye for touching his guitar after a New York City show a decade later. Richards’ early guitar work is modeled on Berry’s style. The Stones covered “Carol,” “Around and Around” and “You Can’t Catch Me.” Richards inducted Berry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986.

Back to the Future is really just a light, inoffensive, time-bending screwball comedy, and Berry has been the butt of far worse jokes. Spy magazine alleged Berry secretly filmed women in bathrooms. In January 1990, High Society claimed to be “the only magazine with the balls to show Chuck’s berries,” when it published photos of him posing nude with different women.

So when you read an article about Berry recalling the incident where the white kid played “Johnny B. Goode,” remember: it ran in The Onion. Chuck Berry could be accused of a lot of things, but he was an original.

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[rainandhotchocolate]

Movie Star - Part 2

A/N AND WE”VE REACHED THE END OF MY ADVENT CALENDAR a day late I know oops. Here’s part 2 to Movie star lovelies, hope you enjoy xx

Part 2

The next week felt like a blur to Y/N. And possibly the weirdest week she had ever experienced in her entire life. She was on set almost every day, with incredibly long hours given that they needed to do just as many night shoots as day ones, and it needed to be perfectly dark for the cinematographers to actually get the right shot.

Y/N had never felt so exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. She’d been on sets before, obviously, having tried to get as many internships and free work whilst she wasn’t getting any paid roles, and having done almost every small time shitty job that you could do behind the camera, but it was nothing like getting to be an entirely different person for 12 hours a day.

She’d met most of the crew, though she struggled to remember names given that there was over 200 of them wandering around at different times of the day. There seemed to be a rotating cast list, with only a few core people on set every single day with Y/N and Sirius. The person that seemed to be around the most was James Potter, who was playing Sirius’ brother Rowan, and had clicked almost immediately with Sirius. During night sets they could regularly be found playing small pranks on the crew to keep their spirits up when they needed to reset a scene for the 50th time.

Y/N hadn’t seen Mary since she’d dropped the very disconcerting news the week previous, but she had received hundreds of emails regarding their ‘relationship’ since then, with a very long list of potential Instagram posts and stories, events they will go together to, and potential dates to flaunt. Y/N had been trying to push down the vague nausea that seemed to wash over her every time she thought about it, but this morning she’d received a text that meant she might puke at any moment.

“Morning, Y/L/N,” Sirius grinned at her as Y/N walked onto set, yawning loudly at him, and holding a large cappuccino.

“Morning, Black. How’ve you been during the past eight hours you’ve not seen me?”

“Not bad, not bad, ate a packet of mike and ike’s instead of dinner but otherwise nothing wild.” He ran a hand through his hair as they walked through the sunny parking lot at the studio. It was incredibly hot, the sun shining directly on Y/N’s back and no cool breeze to stop the sweat from beginning to drip down her back.

“So…” Y/N could sense the slight change in his tone, and her stomach curdled. “Did you get that text this morning?”

“Yep, 6am on the dot. Do you reckon she actually sleeps?”

“I sincerely doubt it,” Sirius barked out a laugh as he pushed open the door to lot 34 and let Y/N pass in front of him. Y/N felt a little relief as Sirius’ face returned to his more natural ‘at-ease-with-anything’ expression.

“But yeah, looks like we’re getting brunch this weekend.” Y/N continued, wanting more than anything to get this conversation out of the way so she could go back to attempting to become best friends with a very influential actor.

“I’ve got to tell you a secret before we do,” Sirius lowered his voice, leaning against Alice’s caravan, his face significantly closer than Y/N was used to. “I don’t like brunch.”

Y/N burst out into laughter, nervous energy bursting out of her. He smelled like the ocean. Shut up, Y/N.

“How do you not like it! It’s the best possible meal.” Y/N protested, Sirius still leaning over her but pulled his head back to smile.

“Honestly, I ust feel like it’s so overpriced and I could probably just cook something better at hom… and I’m sounding like a total prat right now, aren’t I.”

“A little bit… Mr Millionaire.” Y/N teased, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“Oh shut up. Well I guess we must flaunt our incredible, blooming relationship.” He said dramatically, bowing at Y/N. “I’ll see you on set M’lady.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and pushed the door open to meet Alice who was standing very close to the door and giggling.

“You heard all of that didn’t you,” Y/N grumbled.

“Every last romantic word.” Alice bustled her into her chair and stood in front of her, getting started on her face. Y/N had stopped bothering to do herself up before coming into work, given that Alice was likely going to either destroy it or make her look ten times better than Y/N could ever have attempted.

Given that they were still early on in the script, Y/N was normally covered in dirt, but she was soon to be ‘cleaned up’ and accepted into the royal court where Sirius of course would be waiting.

“Have you seen Frank lately?” Alice asked calmly, only a slight edge of curiosity in her voice. Y/N snorted, blowing a puff of foundation powder onto Alice.

“Sorry, you’re just stupidly in love with that boy.”

“I am not!” Alice’s voice went up about two octaves and Y/N grinned wider. “Stop smiling I’m trying to make you look like a sad peasant.”

“I have seen him, given that he is the head cameraman and is constantly in my face.

“Mmm,” Alice replied nonchalantly.

“He mentioned you the other day.”

“Really.”

“Yeah but since you don’t care…”

“I will make you look like a pig,” Alice growled at her, puffing a brush onto her nose, making Y/N smile.

“That’s your head on a platter to Marlene, not mine,” Y/N could hear Alice grumbling under her breath for a few moments before she replied.

“Fine, I admit my stupid crush, what did he say about me.”

“Just that the make up looked very good on set, and he was very impressed.”

Y/N was sure that if she could have opened her eyes that Alice would have been dancing. But instead, all she heard was.

“That’s nice of him.”

Alice ushered her out of the van, wishing Y/N luck for the rest of the day. Y/N waved her off and made her way to costuming before heading back to set. Today Sirius was revealed to be the prince of Altervail, and Y/N had to stop herself from staring at him looking incredibly dapper in a deep navy uniform. It was form fitting and perfectly complimented his dark grey-blue eyes.

“Looking good, peasant,” Sirius grinned when he saw her, turning away from James who was wearing the same uniform.

“Thank you, your highness.” Y/N curtseyed very low in her pants.

“Ready to be accepted into our humble kingdom?” James side-stepped Sirius so he was beside him. It was a little uncanny looking at the two of them next to each other, dark skin and jet black hair. Sirius’ however fell with a kind of curling ease that James’ messy hair could never have achieved.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

In the evening, the crew had set up dinner and someone had brought in a crate of beers since they had managed to finish up early. Y/N had been talking to a small, very peppy brown haired girl when Sirius tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hey, I’m heading off – just wanted to say goodnight,” He was smiling softly down at her. He looked tired, his make up was off and he was wearing an oversized black hoodie. He somehow looked more like himself than Y/N had ever seen him, even though they had spent the last 100 hours together.

“Oh ok, goodnight then.”

“I guess I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“Yes, I nearly forgot,” Liar. He said nothing, but just continued to smile. “But yes, see you then.”

“Ok, well bye then,” And he turned and disappeared into the night.

“Please get out of the bathroom, Lils!” Y/N banged on the door loudly. “I have to go!”

“It’s a fake date, that’s hardly wild plans.” Lily replied, her voice strained. Y/N groaned, she was probably putting on her eyeliner which could take up to an hour.

It was 9:45, and Mary had left specific instructions that she needed to be at the restaurant at 10am sharp and Sirius was going to pick her up. She was to look good, but non-descript, like they were on a date but not trying to show off. It was a lot of instructions that Y/N really couldn’t figure out. Lily and herself had spent two hours going through each of their wardrobes trying to pick out an outfit that fit Mary’s words and they had finally settled on a simple yellow summer dress and sandals.

The doorbell rang and Y/N jumped.

“Fucking hell Lily, he’s here! Get out and stall him so I can look like an awake human being!”

The door swung open, Lily’s long red hair swishing along her shoulder, one terribly lined eye done and the other black line smudged all over her eye.

“You look great.”

“Shut up and put on your face.”

She swung passed her and towards the front door as Y/N moved quickly towards the bathroom mirror, pulling open all the drawers manically.

“Hey, come on in, she’s just getting ready.” Y/N could hear the door open and Lily inviting him inside, panic was building in her chest. How do you get ready for a date with Sirius Black? What were they going to say about her? What if every magazine just posts about how pathetic she looked beside him?

Lily popped her head around the doorway.

“He’s cute, also brown eyeshadow, keep it easy.”

“Thanks,” Y/N grabbed the palate beside her and attempted her eyes as Lily disappeared back down into their tiny kitchen/living room. Y/N could hear light chatter but couldn’t make out the words, which somehow made her even more nervous. Finally, she looked at herself in the mirror and grimaced. Good enough.

She made her way into the main room to greet him, plastering a look of calm and confidence onto her face.

“Hey! You found the place ok?” She smiled at Sirius and pulled him into a hug. Nice one, never done that before.

“Yeah, I actually used to live around here. Ready to go?” He was wearing a linen white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves and dark blue jeans that were tight but not too tight. He looked perfectly casual but nice. Fuck.

“Yep, ready as ever.” Y/N grabbed her denim jacket and kissed Lily on the cheek goodbye, following Sirius out the door.

Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana​ @avengersassemblee​ @maraudersandco​ @sly-vixen-up2nogood​ @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad​ @evyiione​ @minerva26love​ @aikeia​ @gollyderek​ @greatwombatblaze​  @songforhema​  @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom @hermionie-is-my-queen @demiwitch527

Movie star taglist:    WANGMANGAGAVROCHE    @RIDDIKULUSLYPOTTER

[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter one (the girl in the gutter)

“White on white translucent black capes, back on the rack.  Bela Lugosi's dead. The bats have left the bell tower, the victims have been bled. Red velvet lines the black box... Bela Lugosi's dead.” -”Bela Lugosi’s Dead”, Bauhaus

October 12, 1988. Oswego, New York.

“Kill me now,” is what I say as I stare out the window.

The rain is my one true friend now. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to make a good friend on top of this--I’m sure everyone knows about it, the whole thing where if someone, and by someone I mean myself, wasn’t en route to a college or a university, or working a job already, they were kind of left out in the cold. Sure, there have been plenty of acquaintances, but as far as someone I could sit with and feel myself to be true with them, it’s been a while. The whole twisted thing about everything that happened was that it happened so quick. It was four years ago Scott and Frank told me I could hold the microphone in my hand. Four years ago, and last year we may as well have hiked up to the North Pole and stood up a big black flag with the word “NOT!” emblazoned on it, beholding the fact we had conquered the world in the wake of Cliff’s ashes. We rose up like the phoenix, and I was the man on fire.

There is absolutely nothing like standing out in the rain with all of your things taken out from the studio, slung over your shoulder, and your old band mates were the ones throwing you out there into the darkness while the gutters overflow over your head. There isn’t a feeling like it.

And if anyone believes that I had had enough, know for a fact I was asked to leave. I had vowed to rid of the problem, to replace all of the booze with black coffee. I mean, Jesus, I like to have fun with this sort of thing. What’s the point of doing it if I’m not going to have a little fun with it all every now and then? And it’s not like I was drinking a ton so to speak--at least I wasn’t doing those drug loaded pirate raids the four of them would do with Skid Row and Ratt. But I specifically recall telling Scott, verbatim, after he threatened to leave if I did nothing, that I would not have a sip of alcohol as long as I was a member of the band. And yet, for whatever reason, that promise did not suffice or click with any of them.

I think the sound of my phone ringing this morning and waking me up will haunt me for as long as I live. I still hear Jonny’s voice on the other end, telling me it was official. They had made the decision behind closed doors and I had been thrown out on my ass as of that morning, but he never elaborated why.

The next thing I remember was asking him why and the sound of the other end hanging up. No, Jonny, come back. Come back!

Fuck.

I lay there for a minute on my recliner before I even hung up the phone myself. I just reposed with the mouthpiece of the phone pressed to the side of my face, and the cord laying on my neck while I heard the drone of the dial tone right in my ear. They were like my friends, my first friends in a long time following high school, and yet they still showed their dark face to me. Something told me I stood at fault.

It was my fault. It was my fault the band was in turmoil and Frankie and Charlie had that massive blow up that day. It was my fault the new album coasted on the success of Among the Living. It was all my fault.

Once I hung up the phone, I could only crawl back into bed. I only did it for a bit because I refused to mope and wallow in my misery. Even as I took a walk outside, jacket zipped up and hands in my pockets, struggling to hold my head up high even though I sustained a huge punch in the stomach and slap in the face, within time, the lake began weeping with me. There’s a trail that runs along the water’s edge and when I’m in a depressive mood such as this, I take a walk along the soft earth there--I’m half Indian, I feel the cold earth deep within my soul. It’s a part of me. It’s my heart. Since it’s October, and the eve of my twenty-eighth birthday, the lake effect makes its way here, and often when I least expect it.

At one point during my walk, I noticed those feathery plumes emerging from the top of the water. I could feel the cold wind running through my hair and upon the crown of my head. I had to stop in place right next to boulder twice as large as me to better feel the cold. I had faith they were the act for me, such that I felt it in my bones. There’s nothing like this very feeling here.

They say someone is most themselves when they’re alone. Well, if the tears welling up in my eyes due in part to the pain in my chest or the incoming frigid rain should note anything, it’s that I’m alone.

When I came back to my apartment, I crawled inside of my own kitchen and a tiny box of Mike n Ikes for a bit. It’s not enough. A hollow skinny man needs to be filled up again. Maybe when the rain clears up a bit I’ll walk down to the Bitters for a cup and something of substance—a cup of Joey rather. It is a few hours before I turn twenty-eight, after all.

Twenty-eight years old. I joined Anthrax when I was twenty-three. It feels like a thousand years ago.

If there’s anything my mom taught me it’s to not bar grudges, though. No. I’m not like that. I don’t want to be like that. The very thought of such a thing nauseates me and leaves me feeling nothing more than disgusted with myself.

Oh... my mom. The very thought of her eases the pain and warms me up from within. It’s like eating soup on a freezing day: the room may be cold but the belly’s warm and that’s all that matters.

She and my dad are out of town right now, and I have no way of telling them I was fired because I don’t know if they left their hotel and are on the road at the moment, or not.

Twenty-eight years old and I’m spending it by myself. I live alone. I’m sitting here on my window sill looking out to the courtyard down below and watching the rain streak down the window pane. I feel the earth in my soul and she’s crying for me.

I don’t think this rain will let up any time soon and this candy is doing nothing. It’s not soup. And so I get up and head into my room for a change of the clothes and a warmer jacket: yeah, I should probably get out of this pajama shirt.

I’m taking my clothes off and out of the corner of my eye, I see my reflection in the mirror on my closet door. I’m standing there in the middle of my room in my underwear and holding a pair of jeans by the waistband, and I so happen to see this scrawny young guy staring back at me.

Not even a few hours after my release and I can see I’m wasting away, turning into nothing more than a skinny little sack of bones. My stomach is so slim, it’s like the top of a table. No, it’s like a broken, caved in surface of a table. I touch my skin, which is like touching a soft thin layer of cotton piled up on hard plywood. I need to eat something. No drinks, though: I’m not that cowardly.

I put my pants on and, once I’m zipped up, I run my fingers over my waist again. So thin.

Funny, it wasn’t more than a couple of years ago when we were in that warehouse filming the video for “Madhouse,” and I could look at my own face in the mirror across from me and feel like I had a lot going for me. I had a baby face, all round and sweet with these brown eyes and all of this black hair piled about my head, all of it as tightly coiled and coarse as the mane of a horse, and some of it springing up over the crown of my head. Now, I look like I aged about twenty years in no more than thirteen months. One of the many problems of being indigenous: I’m still just a young buck but I look like a senior with my skin sinking in and forming these odd lines. The fact I’m as skinny as I am adds to it.

I don’t feel like putting a shirt on. I changed out of my shirt for no shirt, how ‘bout that! So I put on my sweater over my body instead followed by my leather jacket. I’ve got this down.

I leave the apartment with the keys in my pocket and the hood pulled over my head, the sweater under my black leather, and my hands in the upholstered pockets. Even though there are clouds blanketing the sky overhead, I can tell the sun is setting and the light is fading. It’s a bit of a walk down to the Bitters but I’m hungry enough—I can walk there in time to get some food in my stomach and then boogie back with the last bus ride back to the complex.

Until then, I’m the man in black on this chilly evening, the tall wiry shadow making serious headway two and a half miles down the road. I have my head bowed to keep the rain out of my eyes. Maybe if I got the hell out of this town and wormed my way into the city like the little parasite that I am, Scott and the boys will take me back. I was the strange one after all: Scott and Danny had wives, Charlie and Frankie had girlfriends, whereas I went home alone. They were the essence of the city, I stood there pulling corn kernels out of my teeth. But on the other hand, out here in the sticks, I have no doubt this is home. It may not seem like much and there is a lot of bullshit to go about especially if it’s not living up near the colleges where my complex is, but for me, it’s home. I was born here, my parents live here, and my grandparents are buried in the cemetery.

I reach the corner and I feel the candy having not done enough for me. I can’t make it to the Bitters like this with my own stomach eating away at me.

I stop in place to catch my breath. I can’t do it. I need to get on the bus.

I glance to my right at the sight of the bus stop itself on the sidewalk up ahead and I take that opportunity; once I reach that glass case, I have both hands resting on my belly, I am absolutely starving.

It takes my boarding the bus and taking the seat next to a woman with long dark hair and wrapped in a raincoat when I realize this thing is taking me all the way out to the golf course and the country club. Oh God.

My stomach is killing me, and it only gets worse with the woman next to me stepping off before the interchange onto the highway. I have my back against the wall and my hands all the way into pockets, and my fingers up against my belly. The one thing separating me from my own skin is a small piece of flannel. I’m losing it, that is if I haven’t already lost it.

I’m watching the lights from the wharf illuminate the clouds overhead with the color of an orange creamsicle. The hunger and the candy having done enough is killing me. The country club is this way, and I think there’s also a bar nearby. Not that I want a drink but it’s one thing to bear in mind. Once we lumber closer to those low lights springing out of the darkness, I ring the bell over my head.

Even with the lights glowing out from the wharf, I can see the lake effect further taking place right now, which means I need to get a move on to shelter. This rain is already ridiculous and my pants are getting wet. I have my head bowed to keep the rain out of my eyes, but even that’s not enough. I’ve got an ache in my belly and I’m cold, but I’m not too far.

I feel a chill run up my spine and then bring my arms closer to my body. That bar is here somewhere, but where? The chill is growing worse and no matter what I do, I continue to feel cold. Where the hell is it?

I stop when I notice the figure in black, full in the middle and taking the shape of an hourglass, and with nothing more than a wispy cloud over its head. My skin is practically crawling at this point from the rain, which I feel will turn into snow at any given moment, and it’s only made colder by the sight of her, the sight of Death. She points a skeleton hand at me, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“Are you dead?” she asks in a voice that sounds like it’s about a mile away on the shores of Lake Ontario.

“N-No,” I stammer out, although I feel like I could be dead given my friends shut me out, my stomach is in agony, and the impending snow might freeze me above anything else.

“You must be on your way,” she retorts.

“I swear to you—my hand on my grandfather’s ashes—that I am not dead.”

“What’s your name, then?”

“Joseph Anthony Bellardini.” My voice is strong despite the incessant shivering. “But call me Joey Belladonna.”

I watch her fade out into the shadows and the cluster of spruces, bones and everything, like she never existed. I stand there, my hands crammed into my pockets and my teeth chattering like crazy. Was that Death? And if it was, does that mean I can go where it’s warm? And I still haven’t found the entrance to the country club, much less the bar.

A noise catches my ear. It’s dark except for the glow of the harbor lights and the stupid power plant over in the hills; but I look about the street until I spot the faint silhouette of a woman sprawled over the edge of the sidewalk. I look around and I can see I'm the only other person to be seen here.

I tug on the edge of the hood and run up the wet concrete. The snow is upon us, and running up the sidewalk in Chucks is dangerous, but I know for a fact there’s no one else around. I can see her face and once she comes within my line of sight, I can see the rope tied about her ankles. Once I reach her, I take a look into her rounded pale face and her black hair. She looks familiar...

It takes me a minute to see it’s the woman next to me on the bus. How’d she get here? I set one knee down next to her on the wet sidewalk, which soaks my jeans even more, but that’s the least of my problems right now.

“Hey! Hey, are you okay?” I ask her in a gentle voice. I reach for her face to look right at her.

“Are you okay?” I repeat. In the dim light, I see her part her lips but she never opens her eyes for me.

“He—Help—”

“It’s alright—it’s alright.”

“Help me—″ she sputters. I hear her groan in her throat and I knew something had happened that had to do with Death back there. The rain is relentless and my body is aching from cold and hunger but I know the club and the bar are not too far from here. I put my arms around her: she’s heavy! And the rope around her ankles only makes it harder for me. But I lean her head and shoulders against my chest, and once I stand to my feet, I clasp her to my chest with my right hand and brush her wet hair from her eyes to examine her face with my left. Even in the darkness, I can tell she’s gorgeous.

I glance around the block until I spot something on the other side of the street, like tucked behind something else. That’s either the bar or something else.

“Come on—come with me,” I coax her gently as I scoop her off of the sidewalk: my aching belly pains me even more, but I need to help this poor lady. “It’s okay—I’ve got you.” I adjust myself so that I can carry her without my back hurting on top of everything else.

“I'll take you where it’s warm,” I promise to her over the roar of the rain.

“Please—” her voice slips out from her lips like a piece of wind; “don’t hurt—me—”

“I won’t. I won’t, I promise.” I hold her close to me as I guide her down the sidewalk: it’s tricky because of the rope but I don’t think I have my pocket knife with me.

God dammit.

I reach the corner and I stop to move the hair from her face again. The light is a little better and as a result, I make out a narrow dark crease the length of my pinkie finger on her forehead. Whoever left her there must have left her there to die, hence my encounter with Death.

“What’s your name?” I ask her as the rain patters even harder around us. Even though I have her head against my chest, I smooth her hair back from her face even more. I just have the glow from the lights of the club nearby as my guide, but I can look right into her face. “What’s your name?”

“Maya,” she almost breathes it, her lips parted not even by a hair.

“Maya?” I repeat it because everything is so loud.

“Yes--” She’s fading fast. I slide my other arm under her thighs to better carry her. The dead weight of her body pulls me down like an anchor. I’ll starve to death before I let this woman die out here in the cold and wet.

“Okay, Maya. I’m Joey. Let’s go where it’s warm.” And without another word, I run across the grass to that little building tucked out of sight. I hope it’s the bar and not something else.

[blackkudos]

Natalie Cole

Natalie Maria Cole (February 6, 1950 – December 31, 2015) was an American singer, songwriter, and actress. The daughter of Nat King Cole, she rose to musical success in the mid-1970s as an R&B artist with the hits "This Will Be", "Inseparable" (1975), and "Our Love" (1977). After a period of failing sales and performances due to a heavy drug addiction, Cole re-emerged as a pop artist with the 1987 album Everlasting and her cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac". In the 1990s, she re-recorded standards by her father, resulting in her biggest success, Unforgettable... with Love, which sold over seven million copies and also won Cole numerous Grammy Awards. She sold over 30 million records worldwide.

On December 31, 2015, Cole died at the age of 65 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, California, due to congestive heart failure.

Early life

Natalie Cole was born at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital in Los Angeles, the daughter of crooner Nat King Cole and former Duke Ellington Orchestra singer Maria Hawkins Ellington, and raised in the affluent Hancock Park district of Los Angeles. Regarding her childhood, Cole referred to her family as "the black Kennedys" and was exposed to many great singers of jazz, soul and blues. At the age of 6, Natalie sang on her father's Christmas album and later began performing at age 11.

Cole grew up with an older adopted sister, Carole "Cookie" (1944–2009) (her mother Maria's younger sister's daughter), adopted brother Nat "Kelly" Cole (1959–95), and younger twin sisters Timolin and Casey (born 1961).

Her paternal uncle Freddy Cole is a singer and pianist with numerous albums and awards. Cole enrolled in Northfield School for Girls, an elite New England preparatory school (since 1971 known as Northfield Mount Hermon School) before her father died of lung cancer in February 1965. Soon afterwards she began having a difficult relationship with her mother. She enrolled in the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She transferred briefly to University of Southern California where she pledged the Upsilon chapter of Delta Sigma Theta sorority. She later transferred back to the University of Massachusetts, where she majored in Child Psychology and minored in German, graduating in 1972.

Music career

Early career

Cole grew up listening to a variety of artists from soul artists such as Aretha Franklin to psychedelic blues-rock icon Janis Joplin. After graduation she began singing at small clubs with her band, Black Magic. Clubs initially welcomed her because she was Nat King Cole's daughter, only to be disappointed when she began covering R&B and rock numbers. While performing, she was noted by a couple of producers in the Chicago area, Chuck Jackson and Marvin Yancy, who then approached her to do records. After cutting several records together, they passed off the music to several record labels. Most labels turned them down with one exception. Capitol Records, her father's label, heard the records and agreed to sign her.

Cole, Yancy, and Jackson went into studios in Los Angeles to polish the recordings they had shipped, resulting in the release of Cole's debut album, Inseparable, which included songs that reminded listeners of Aretha Franklin. In fact, Franklin later contended that songs such as "This Will Be", "I Can't Say No", and others were originally offered to her while she was recording the You album. Franklin turned most of the songs down but agreed to record the title track for her album. Cole also recorded "You". Released in 1975, the album became an instant success thanks to "This Will Be", which became a top ten hit and later winning Cole a Grammy Award for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. A second single, "Inseparable", also became a hit. Both songs reached number-one on the R&B chart. Cole also won Best New Artist at the Grammy Awards for her accomplishments. The media's billing of Cole as the "new Aretha Franklin" inadvertently started a rivalry between the two singers.

Initial stardom

Becoming an instant star, Cole responded to critics of an impending sophomore slump with Natalie, released in 1976. The album, like Inseparable, became a gold success thanks to the funk-influenced cut "Sophisticated Lady" and the jazz-influenced "Mr. Melody".

Cole released her first platinum record with her third release, Unpredictable, mainly thanks to the number-one R&B hit, "I've Got Love on My Mind". Originally an album track, the album's closer, "I'm Catching Hell", nonetheless became a popular Cole song during live concert shows. Later in 1977, Cole issued her fourth release and second platinum album, Thankful, which included another signature Cole hit, "Our Love". Cole was the first female artist to have two platinum albums in one year. To capitalize on her fame, Cole starred on her own TV special, which attracted such celebrities as Earth, Wind & Fire, and also appeared on the TV special, "Sinatra and Friends." In 1978, Cole released her first live album, Natalie Live!

In early 1979, the singer was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That same year, she released two more albums, I Love You So and the Peabo Bryson duet album, We're the Best of Friends. Both albums reached gold status in the U.S. continuing her popularity.

Career detour and resurgence

Following the release of her eighth album, 1980's Don't Look Back, Cole's career began to take a detour. While Cole scored an adult contemporary hit with the soft rock ballad "Someone That I Used To Love" off the album, the album itself failed to go gold. In 1981, Cole's personal problems, including battles with drug addiction, began to attract public notice, and her career suffered as a result. In 1983, following the release of her album I'm Ready, released on Epic, Cole entered a rehab facility in Connecticut and reportedly stayed there for a period of six months.

Following her release, she signed with the Atco imprint Modern Records and released Dangerous, which started a slow resurgence for Cole in terms of record sales and chart success. In 1987, she changed to EMI-Manhattan Records and released the album Everlasting, which returned her to the top of the charts thanks to singles such as "Jump Start (My Heart)", the top ten ballad, "I Live For Your Love", and her dance-pop cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac". That success helped Everlasting reach one million in sales and become Cole's first platinum album in ten years. In 1989, she released her follow-up to Everlasting, Good to Be Back, which produced the number two hit "Miss You Like Crazy"; it also achieved international success, reaching the top ten in the United Kingdom.

Cole released her best-selling album with 1991's Unforgettable... with Love on Elektra Records, which saw Cole singing songs her famous father recorded, nearly 20 years after she initially had refused to cover her father's songs during live concerts. Cole produced vocal arrangements for the songs, with piano accompaniment by her uncle Ike Cole. Cole's label released an interactive duet between Cole and her father on the title song, "Unforgettable". The song eventually reached number fourteen on the Billboard Hot 100 and number ten on the R&B chart, going gold. Unforgettable...with Love eventually sold more than 7 million copies in the U.S. alone and won several Grammys, including Album of the Year, Record of the Year and Best Traditional Pop Vocal Performance for the top song.

Cole followed that success with another album of jazz standards, titled Take a Look, in 1993, which included her recording of the title track in the same styling that her idol Aretha Franklin had recorded nearly 30 years earlier. The album eventually went gold while a holiday album, Holly & Ivy, also became gold. Another standards release, Stardust, went platinum and featured another duet with her father on a modern version of "When I Fall in Love", which helped Cole earn another Grammy for Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals.

Later works

In 1999, Cole returned to her 1980s-era urban contemporary recording style with the release of Snowfall on the Sahara on June and second holiday album The Magic of Christmas on October, which recorded with London Symphony Orchestra. A year later, the singer collaborated on the production of her biopic, Livin' For Love: The Natalie Cole Story, which featured Theresa Randle in the role of Cole. She also released the compilation Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 to fulfill her contract with Elektra. She changed to Verve Records and released two albums. 2002's Ask a Woman Who Knows continued her jazz aspirations, while 2006's Leavin' again featured Cole singing pop, rock and R&B standards. Her cover of Aretha Franklin's "Daydreaming", became a minor hit on the R&B charts. In 2008, seventeen years after Unforgettable... with Love, Cole released Still Unforgettable, which included not only songs made famous by her father but other artists, including Frank Sinatra. The album later resulted in Grammy wins for Cole.

In April 2012, she appeared as a Pennington Great Performers series artist with the Baton Rouge Symphony Orchestra.

Television and film career

Cole carved out a secondary career in acting. She also appeared several times in live concerts or other music related programs, including the 1988 Nelson Mandela 70th Birthday Tribute with sidemen Richard Campbell, Jeffrey Worrell, Eddie Cole and Dave Joyce. In 1990, she (along with jazz vocalist Al Jarreau) sang the song "Mr. President" (written by Ray Reach, Mike Loveless and Joe Sterling) on HBO's Comic Relief special, hosted by Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. After Johnny Mathis appeared on a special of Cole's in 1980, the two kept in contact, and in 1992, he invited Cole to be a part of his television special titled "A Tribute To Nat Cole" for BBC-TV in England. It had high viewer ratings and was successful. From that project, an album with the same name was released, and featured several medley and solo numbers.

In 1992, following the success of the Unforgettable: With Love album, PBS broadcast a special based on the album. Unforgettable, With Love: Natalie Cole Sings the Songs of Nat "King" Cole received Emmy nominations for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Program; and Cole received a nomination for Outstanding Individual Performance, losing to Bette Midler.

In 1993, she was among the Guests of Honor attending Wrestlemania IX at Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada. She was interviewed by television staff after the conclusion of the Money Incorporated vs Megamaniacs tag team match regarding her upcoming work. The same year she performed at the 65th Academy Awards performing a medley of two Oscar-nominated songs: "Run to You" and "I Have Nothing", both originally performed by Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard.

Cole made a number of dramatic appearances on television, including guest appearances on I'll Fly Away, Touched by an Angel, and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. In 2006, she made a memorable guest appearance on the ABC show Grey's Anatomy as a terminally ill patient. Her character visited Seattle Grace Hospital to have a fork removed from her neck that her husband had stabbed her with during a mishap; the couple had been having sex in public.

Cole also made several appearances in feature films, most recently in the Cole Porter biopic De-Lovely. She appeared in several made-for-TV movies, most notably as the lead in Lily in Winter. Cole was featured on Macy Gray's album Big, singing "Finally Make Me Happy".

In 2001, she starred as herself in Livin' for Love: the Natalie Cole Story, for which she received the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actress in a Television Movie, Mini-Series or Dramatic Special.

She also sang the national anthem with the Atlanta University Center Chorus at Super Bowl XXVIII.

On December 2, 2006, Cole performed for the first time in Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands, as part of the annual Cayman Jazz Fest.

On the February 5, 2007, episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Cole sang "I Say a Little Prayer" at a benefit dinner for Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson).

She can also be seen in the last scene of Nas' music video for "Can't Forget About You". The song uses a sample of her father's song "Unforgettable". Cole is sitting at a piano in a cabaret-style lounge mouthing her father's song with Nas standing beside her.

Cole also performed "Something's Gotta Give" on American Idol on April 29, 2009.

In September 2010, Cole performed with Andrea Bocelli in a concert at the Kodak Theatre, for his album My Christmas, in which she recorded a duet with him, and from December 10–13, 2009, she appeared with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square in their annual Christmas concerts. Both were videotaped for presentation on PBS in December 2010.

On July 22, 2011, Cole appeared on the reality television series, The Real Housewives of New York City.

In February 2012, Cole appeared as a guest judge on the fourth series of reality competition series RuPaul's Drag Race. The bottom two competitors lip-synced to her song This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) to decide who would stay and who would be eliminated.

On Father’s Day, 2013, Natalie was in Tina Sinatra's Father’s Day Special on Sirius Radio. It also featured Deana Martin, Monica Mancini and Daisy Torme, all reminiscing about their famous fathers.

Personal life

Cole was married three times. She married Marvin Yancy, songwriter, producer and former member of the 1970s R&B group The Independents on July 31, 1976. She had a son, Robert Adam "Robbie" Yancy (born October 14, 1977); he is now a musician who toured with her. Marvin was her producer, and an ordained Baptist minister who helped reintroduce her to religion. Under his influence, Cole changed from a lapsed Episcopalian to become a devout Baptist. Cole and Yancy got divorced in 1980 before Yancy died of a heart attack in 1985, aged 34. In 1989, Cole married record producer and former drummer for the band Rufus, Andre Fischer; they were divorced in 1995. In 2001, Cole married bishop Kenneth Dupree; they divorced in 2004.

Cole was active in the Afghan World Foundation cause, supporting Sonia Nassery Cole (no relation).

Drug abuse and recovery

In 2000, Cole released an autobiography, Angel on My Shoulder, which described her battle with drugs during much of her life, including heroin and crack cocaine. Cole said she began recreational drug use while attending the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She was arrested in Toronto, Canada, for possession of heroin in 1975. Cole continued to spiral out of control – including one incident during which she refused to evacuate a burning building, and another during which her young son Robert nearly drowned in the family swimming pool while she was on a drug binge. She entered rehab in 1983.

Her autobiography was released in conjunction with a made-for-TV movie, Livin' for Love: The Natalie Cole Story, which aired December 10, 2000 on NBC and re-aired October 26, 2011, on Centric TV.

Health issues

Cole announced in 2008 that she had been diagnosed with Hepatitis C, which is a liver disease that is spread through contact with infected blood. Cole attributed having the disease to her past intravenous drug use. Cole explained in 2009 that hepatitis C “stayed in my body for 25 years, and it could still happen to...addicts who are fooling around with drugs, especially needles.”

Four months after starting treatment for hepatitis C, Cole experienced kidney failure and required dialysis three times a week for nine months. Following her appeal for a kidney on the Larry King Show, she was contacted by the organ procurement agency One Legacy, in May 2009. The facilitated donation came from a family requesting that, if there were a match, their donor’s kidney be designated for Cole.

Death and funeral

Cole canceled several events in December 2015 due to illness. It was reported on January 1, 2016, that she had died the day prior at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Her family stated that at the time of her death, Cole had "ongoing health issues". According to Cole's publicist, Maureen O’Connor, the singer's death was the result of congestive heart failure.

In official news on her cause of death, her family stated that Cole was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary arterial hypertension after her kidney transplant in 2009.

Cole's son, along with her sisters, offered the following comment. "Natalie fought a fierce, courageous battle, dying how she lived ... with dignity, strength and honor. Our beloved mother and sister will be greatly missed and remain unforgettable in our hearts forever."

Cole's funeral was held on January 11, 2016, at the West Angeles Church of God in Christ in Los Angeles. David Foster, Stevie Wonder, Smokey Robinson, Lionel Richie, Chaka Khan, Eddie Levert, Mary Wilson, Gladys Knight, Ledisi, Jesse Jackson, Angela Bassett, Denise Nicholas, Marla Gibbs, Jackée Harry and Freda Payne were among the mourners at the funeral. After the funeral, she was buried at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California.

Accolades and honorsGrammy Awards

The Grammy Awards are awarded annually by the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. Cole received nine awards from 21 nominations.

Latin Grammys

The Latin Grammy Awards are awarded annually by the Latin Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences.

Wikipedia

[enthusiasticfreesoul]

De rollercoaster van afgelopen maanden & een nieuw begin.

Lieve allemaal,

Alweer een tijd geleden schreef ik voor het laatst. En wat is er ontzettend veel gebeurt na mijn laatste blogpost. Pas nu voel ik dat het tijd is om echt even rustig te gaan zitten en mijn verhaal te schrijven.

Nadat ik had besloten om te stoppen met mijn studie ben ik me volledig gaan focussen op de zorg voor mijn moeder. Het ging steeds slechter met haar en mijn gevoel zei dat dit de juiste keuze voor mij was.. ik wist dat het niet lang meer ging duren, dat zei mijn intuitie.

Ik vertelde mijn baas dat ik er even niet zou zijn. Gelukkig hadden ze daar heel veel begrip voor.  Ik heb ongeveer een maand voor mama gezorgd. Ik was ongelofelijk moe. Niet alleen omdat ik voor haar aan het zorgen was, maar ook omdat ik al aan het rouwen was. Mama veranderde steeds een beetje meer.. door de tumoren in haar hoofd, de medicijnen en haar lever die steeds slechter werkte, veranderde haar gedrag. Ze was mijn mama niet meer. Ze werd extreem euforisch, nu was mama altijd al heel enthousiast en positief, maar dit werd irritant. Soms was ze ook fel, maar gelukkig kwam dit niet vaak voor.  Ze was erg druk.. wilde zooooveel vertellen. Nu was het al een kletskous (goh, van wie zou ik het hebben?), maar dit was echt vermoeiend.  Bijna elke dag moest ik vreselijk huilen in bed. Wie is dit? Mama is er nog, maar eigenlijk is ze al weg. Waarom heeft nooit iemand mij verteld dat het ook zo zou kunnen lopen? Ik had echt geen flauw idee. Ik was op alles voorbereid, behalve op dit scenario.  Met alle liefde heb ik voor mama gezorgd, natuurlijk. Ik ben ZO blij dat ik goed naar mijn gevoel heb geluisterd, once again.. bewijst het maar weer dat goed naar je intuitie luisteren je heel veel goede dingen kan brengen. Ondanks dat mama zo veranderde, heb ik natuurlijk echt nog genoten van de mooie momenten met haar samen. We hebben uren gepraat, geknuffeld, gehuild. Ik ben blij dat ik dit nog voor haar heb kunnen doen, na alles wat zij voor mij gedaan heeft.  Jeetje, wat heeft ze het de afgelopen 10 jaar zwaar gehad. Je merkte dat bijna nooit. Natuurlijk hadden we gesprekken en natuurlijk was ze wel eens chagrijnig, of was ze verdrietig. Ze was ook een mens. Ik was zelfs blij als ze zo’n bui had, ik zei : “Mam, je emoties toelaten is ook belangrijk. Positief zijn is niet alleen maar de hele dag een lach op je gezicht toveren.” En daar hebben we het vaak over gehad. Mama ging steeds meer over haar gevoel schrijven op haar blog en gaf toe dat ze het af en toe hartstikke zwaar had en een rotdag had. Ik vond dat fijn om te horen (ik las haar blog niet omdat ik natuurlijk met haar woonde, dus alle verhalen had ik al... minstens 2 keer gehoord, haha!). We kwamen zo nog dichter bij elkaar. De band was altijd al heel sterk, maar vooral in het laatste jaar zijn we erachter gekomen dat we nog veel meer dingen gemeen hadden. Ik leerde van haar en zij leerde van mij. Dat vond ik een heel mooi compliment. Ik ben daarnaast ook zo blij voor haar dat ze de documentaire nog heeft kunnen meemaken! Haar laatste missie was om minstens 1 vrouw te redden en dat is gelukt. Ze was daar zo blij mee! En het allermooiste is nog dat er nu een ondertitelde versie komt! “Oops, my boobs.” Mama zou zeggen: “Hoe gááf is dat?!”. Helaas ging mama op 1 dag heel erg achteruit. Ik was doodsbang. Daar zat ik dan, ‘s ochtends vroeg.. wat moest ik in hemelsnaam doen? Gelukkig kwam de huisarts al snel (de huisartsenpost vond het niet levensbedreigend genoeg en liet mij dus een uur wachten... een uur duurde NOOIT zo lang, het leek wel 2 weken). Binnen no time had ik de familie allemaal gebeld en waren we allemaal samen bij mama. 2 dagen later is zij overleden. Ze overleed in het bijzijn van ons allemaal. Toen ze lag te sterven hielden Mike en ik haar hand vast.. we hadden muziek op staan. Opeens hoorde ik mama haar stem in mijn hoofd: “Ik wil dat je jouw afspeellijst op zet”. Ik had de dag voor haar overlijden een afspeellijst gemaakt met een paar liedjes die ze de laatste tijd veel luisterde.Ze was toen al niet meer bij bewustzijn. Ik volgde mijn intuïtie maar, want dat was het denk ik. Toen ik de afspeellijst opzette, werd ze opeens veel rustiger en begon ze langzaam te ‘gaan’. Ze stierf uiteindelijk op het lievelingsliedje van mijn oma “Que sera, sera”. Het liedje die ook getatoeëerd staat op mijn arm. We keken elkaar allemaal vol verbazing aan... wow, wat bijzonder! Ik wist het zeker: ik heb mama echt gehoord. Dit kan niet anders. Er is echt meer tussen hemel en aarde. Ik was daar al van overtuigd, omdat ik heel vaak van die ‘gekke’ dingen heb meegemaakt, maar nu was het voor mij zeker.  Het moment daarna was verschrikkelijk. Ik heb nog nooit zo hard en luid gehuild. Ik dacht dat ik voorbereid was op wat komen zou gaan, maar dat was ik helemaal niet. Het is zo heftig om je ouder te zien sterven. Je kunt je daar nooit op voorbereiden. Daarna begon de rollercoaster. De avondwake en crematie waren ontzettend mooi, mama had bijna alles zelf geregisseerd.. het stond allemaal in haar boekje geschreven hoe ze het wilde hebben. Er waren zoveel lieve mensen. En jeetje wat hebben we veel mooie kaarten met prachtige woorden ontvangen, nog ontzettend bedankt daar voor! 

Daarna besloten Mike en ik om meteen de huur op te zeggen. Wat zouden we anders moeten doen? Dan zouden we een maandje wachten, een maandje extra huur betalen.. middenin de maand december zitten. Niet fijn. En het is hoe dan ook toch verschrikkelijk om het huis te moeten leeghalen, dus we dachten: dan maar all the way.  We begonnen met het leegruimen van het huis en wat was dat heftig, maar ook heel mooi. Veel mooie herinneringen kwamen naar boven. Mike en ik hebben een heleboel mooie gesprekken met elkaar gehad en veel tranen gedeeld. Onze band is echt sterker geworden. Het missen van mama doet vreselijk veel pijn, maar we zijn blij dat we elkaar nog hebben en precies begrijpen wat we voelen, ook al zijn we zo verschillend.. dit is iets wat we altijd zullen delen.  4 weken na mama’s overlijden besloot ik om er even tussenuit te gaan. Mama overleed een dag voordat ik naar Valencia zou gaan met mijn vader. Dat hadden we dus geannuleerd. Maar ik wilde nog steeds zo ontzettend graag heen, helemaal nu! Ik had er enorm naar uitgekeken en besloot om dan maar in mijn eentje te gaan. Het werd een maandje later dan gepland. Op het moment dat ik in de taxi zat en de stad binnen reed, voelde ik me meteen weer thuis. Wat is dat toch een heerlijk gevoel! Ik had een leuke studio geboekt, waar ik 5 dagen verbleef. De eerste dag was ik nog ontzettend hyper, mijn lichaam stond echt op overleven. De dag daarna was ik opeens ontzettend moe. Ik heb heel erg veel geslapen. Zonde, zou je zeggen, maar ik had het echt hard nodig. Ik gaf er maar aan toe en was aan niemand iets verplicht. Ik ben 2 keer uit eten geweest met de jongen (of nou ja, jongen.. jongeman, haha) waar ik mee aan het daten was van de zomer in Valencia, we hebben nog steeds contact. Af en toe belden we ook, vooral in de week dat mama op sterven lag. Hij is een enorme steun en we vinden elkaar heel erg leuk. We zijn nog niet samen, we doen het rustig aan en zijn vooral heel erg dankbaar dat we elkaar hebben ontmoet. Beide zitten we niet in een ideale situatie en hebben we dingen waar we aan moeten werken. Dat neemt niet weg dat we ons erg op ons gemak bij elkaar voelen. Het is nu gewoon de juiste tijd nog niet en dat is helemaal niet erg. We kunnen uren kletsen, lachen en zijn niet bang om ons kwetsbaar op te stellen. We zijn erg open over onze gevoelens en dat vind ik echt een cadeautje! We hebben tegen elkaar gezegd: wat er ook gebeurt.. hoe het ook loopt, we blijven hoe dan ook goede vrienden. Want elkaar verliezen willen we zeker niet.  Het was heel fijn om hem weer te zien, helemaal niet vreemd! We hadden elkaar al 3,5 maand niet gezien maar het voelde als gisteren, we pakten het meteen weer op.  Daarnaast ben ik met een lieve vriendin een paar keer wat gaan eten en drinken. En in de tussentijd rustte ik uit, ging ik soms even een kleine wandeling maken.. wat souvenirtjes kopen enz.  De laatste dag zat ik in mijn eentje op een terras met mijn gezicht in de zon. Ik voelde me opeens zo intens gelukkig. Ik kreeg tranen in mijn ogen van geluk. Ik voelde de liefde van mama door mijn lijf stromen en ik voelde haar steun. Mama vond het geweldig dat ik me daar zo thuis voelde en gunde het mij enorm om daar te gaan wonen. Ze vond het dan ook heel erg dat zij mij ‘tegenhield’, wat natuurlijk helemaal niet haar schuld was. 

Het was confronterend om alleen op vakantie te gaan, maar tegelijkertijd ook heel erg goed. Het was een soort warming up... zo is het dus straks ook als ik hier woon.. dan kan ik mama niet bellen. Maar toch voelde ik haar aanwezigheid. Ik heb flink gehuild, voelde me echt hartstikke rot.. maar tegelijkertijd voelde ik dus ook geluk. En zo zal het zijn. Ik vond het fijn om te ervaren, te weten dat ik ook nog steeds dat geluksgevoel kan hebben, daar, zonder mama. 

6 weken na mama’s overlijden leverde ik de sleutel in. Met een paar traantjes verliet ik het huis. Oké, dat was het dan. Geen ouderlijk huis meer, geen thuisbasis. Een nieuw hoofdstuk. Ik was vlak voor mijn vakantie naar mijn vriendin en vriend verhuisd. Ik slaap nu in een klein kamertje, ik ben blij dat ik een dak boven mijn hoofd heb.. maar het was erg wennen. Natuurlijk niet vanwege dat kamertje, maar vanwege het feit dat alles zo snel gegaan was en ik nu bij een stel in huis woonde. Ik moest daar even aan wennen, wilde niet teveel zijn. Maar het gaat hartstikke goed en ik vind het hartstikke gezellig! Het verloopt allemaal heel natuurlijk. Toen ik net terug was van vakantie, ging ik meteen door met het leegruimen van het huis. We waren nog lang niet klaar. 2 tantes kwamen helpen, 1 van mijn tantes was er iets eerder en we hadden een fijn gesprek. Ze vroeg waarom ik niet eerder naar Valencia ging, omdat ik haar vertelde dat ik eigenlijk echt wel klaar ben in Nederland. Het voelt zo doelloos.  Ik zei dat ik niet wilde vluchten en Mike niet zo snel wil achterlaten.  Ze vertelde dat het helemaal geen vlucht is. Ze zei: “Je wilt dit al 2,5 jaar! Je bent er al zo lang mee bezig.. ik denk niet dat dat een vlucht is, die klap krijg je later toch nog wel.”  En dat was ik helemaal met haar eens. Dat was een mooi inzicht, het is helemaal geen vlucht. Ik heb mijn leven even op pauze gezet voor mama, maar anders had ik er 2,5 jaar geleden al gewoond. Wat houd mij nu nog tegen? M’n tante adviseerde om gewoon eens te gaan kijken naar appartementen en banen en dan te besluiten wanneer ik zou gaan. En ja, hoor! Binnen no time had ik een appartement gevonden... en wat voor een! WAUW. In de allerleukste wijk van Valencia, Ruzafa! 3 slaapkamers, hartstikke ruim. Ik mocht er zo snel mogelijk in als ik zou willen. Nou goed, ik dacht aan februari..  Ik belde Mike op en natuurlijk vindt hij het niet leuk, maar hij wist natuurlijk al heel lang dat ik zou gaan. Het scheelt ook maar 2 maanden. Hij is heel blij voor mij en gunt mij dat geluk, maar natuurlijk is het niet makkelijk. En dat geldt ook voor mij, het is wel mijn eigen keuze.. maar ook ik zit daar straks ‘alleen’. Gelukkig is Valencia heel dichtbij en hebben we afgesproken dat we elkaar zeker een paar keer per jaar gaan opzoeken!  Ik was door het dolle heen, maar een paar minuten later moest ik vreselijk huilen. Ik keek naar een foto van mama en zei: “Shit, mam... ik ga eindelijk.. en nu kan ik het je niet eens vertellen.” Ik deelde alles met mama, een beetje teveel zelfs, haha. En dat mis ik zo ontzettend erg. Ik ga een heel nieuw leven beginnen in Spanje.. eindelijk, maar ik wil het zo graag delen met haar. En ik had haar zo graag bij me gewild, met haar door de leuke straatjes willen struinen.. laten zien waar ik ga wonen enzovoorts.  Ze is wel bij me, dat voel ik en weet ik. Ik heb het idee dat ze ook een beetje aan het sturen is. Ik weet zeker dat ze heel blij voor me is en zou zeggen : “Hoe krijg je DAT nou weer voor elkaar?” , want dat zei ze altijd. Hoe vaak ze wel niet dacht: “Oh god waar begin je nu weer aan..” en dan kneep ze ‘m wel even. Maar ze was altijd blij om te zien dat ik het toch voor elkaar kreeg en altijd vol verbazing HOE ik dat voor elkaar kreeg. Ik kan het zelf soms ook niet geloven, maar ik geloof heel sterk in de wet van de aantrekkingskracht. Dat heeft mij al heeeel veel mooie dingen gebracht. Vertrouwen op je kunnen en je gevoel is gewoon ontzettend belangrijk.

Daarom weet ik dat het tijd voor mij is om te gaan over een paar weken. Mijn taak zit er op, hier. Het is tijd om mijn vleugels uit te slaan.  Ik heb daarom mijn baan ook opgezegd, om van de laatste weken hier te genieten. Ik ben nog steeds erg vermoeid en kom nu pas echt aan mezelf toe. Rust wil ik, quality time met alle lieve mensen om me heen en ik moet een heleboel regelen voor mijn emigratie. PLUS: de taal leren. Want dat is ook belangrijk (oh ja joh?).  Het is een enorme rollercoaster geweest, en nog steeds.. maar ik weet zeker dat we het op de juiste manier hebben gedaan. De juiste manier, voor ons. Het voelt goed zo en we gaan allebei een mooie toekomst tegemoet.  Ik blijf zeker schrijven en houd jullie op de hoogte over mijn avonturen in Valencia. 1 februari emigreer ik. Het is ongelofelijk dubbel, maar ik ben ook heel erg blij dat ik mijn vleugels uit ga slaan. Met mama op mijn schouder :-) Liefs, Stèphanie

[hottytoddynews]

These Dog-Days of summer are a good time to hit the cineplexes. Milk Duds, Goobers, a tub of “buttery” popcorn, and a bottomless iced cold drink, a chaise lounge experience in posh [anti-bedbug] leather seats, and A/C. What more can you ask for? And, unlike most summer Augusts, there’s much to shout about at cineplexes.

The days are long, and some of the best films are short. The studios aren’t waiting for late October roll-out of prestige films. They’re putting them out weekend after weekend – often with three/four openings on a Friday. Some making a big impact at box offices are indies. There’s comedy, drama, romance, murder, Superhero thrills, war-zone chaos, one determined dude on a snowmobile, and a new action goddess. Oscar-nominee Taylor Sheridan (Deputy Chief David Hale, TVs Sons of Anarchy; Danny Boyd, Veronica Mars) of Hell or High Water fame has sneaked in with the season’s sleeper, crime thriller Wind River, which he wrote. Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner is letter perfect as rough and tumble game tracker of mountain lions and coyotes who prey on livestock on a remote Utah Native American reservation. He’s also no slouch on snowmobiles! Already in the stark winter of their discontent, the poor natives are devastated by a second murder of a young woman, found viciously beaten and raped multiple times. This is not savory going — especially when Renner is called upon to assist urban (Las Vegas via Ft. Lauderdale) FBI Agent Elizabeth Olsen (Captain America: Civil War’s Scarlett Witch). We’ve seen directors handle flashbacks many ways, but Sheridan, no slack when it comes to inventiveness, introduces a new and seamless approach. The estimable Oscar nominee Graham Greene is featured as the girl’s father. In a brief but memorable seduction scene, HOHW’s Gil Birmingham – showing different sides of himself, will have a lot of audience members swooning.

In the U.S., a child goes missing every 40 seconds. You never think it’ll happen to you. Until it does. In Kidnap (Aviron/Di Bonaventura Pictures), when mom, Oscar winner Halle Berry, returning to the big screen after three years, catches a glimpse of the abductors speeding away, she begins a high-speed pursuit across Louisiana highways, byways, and bayous, overcoming obstacle after obstacle. The nappers messed with the wrong mom! TV veteran, 10-year-old Sage Correa delivers a masterful performance during the marathon chase that had to be shot with great care. Pay no attention to the red herons, as they don’t deliver pay dirt. The only delivering is done by indefatigable Halle Berry. The ending is powerful, but, on second thought, it would’ve been interesting to have another motive behind the kidnap other than the crackers out for ransom, that include long-time character actress Chris McGinn – move over (Misery’s) Kathy Bates!

There’s another Man in Black and, alas, he’s not Johnny Cash. The mind of Stephen King has no limits when it comes pulp fiction, but his works have proved to be a mixed bag when brought to the screen. Nikolaj Arcel’s brave attempt to adapt his seven novels and a short story published over 30 years [with homages to Robert Browning, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Sergio Leone] in Dark Tower (Columbia Pictures) falls into that category. It’s a box office champ, but no critics’ darling. However, who needs critics? Idris Elba is the last gunfighter in an alternate land out to keep the world from colliding; and Matthew McConaughey is evil incarnate as the Man in Black, with whom he’s locked in eternal battle.

Oscar winning director/and co-producer Kathryn Bigelow proved her mettle with Best Picture The Hurt Locker, and followed with a Best Picture nomination for Zero Dark Thirty. She and ZDT collaborator Mark Boal know a thing or two about war zones. This one is stateside, 1967 Detroit (Annapurna Pictures/M-G-M), where a police raid and a number of murders set off a literal African-American rebellion that set off a night of turbulence that segued into one of the nation’s largest race riots. The film is docudrama realistic, raw, disturbing, engrossing, brutal. A writer aptly summed it up: “The degree of terror and carnage is so strong that ‘based on a true story’ is too tame to do the film justice.” Not for the faint of heart, and in these Dog-Days of summer, certainly not a date movie. There are lessons that should have been learned and weren’t. John Boyega, John Krasinski, Jacob Latimore, Anthony Mackie, Will Poulter, and Algee Smith headline a huge cast.

Director Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk (Warner Bros.), a sweeping 70-mm IMAX epic [with the help of CGI] restaging of the 1940 evacuation of more than 300,000 Allied troops [French, British, Belgian, Dutch] in fast retreat from the Western Front at Dunkerque, France. Penned in by the Germans, they’re stranded due to a lack of transport. Fionn Whitehead, in a near silent role, delivers a shattering performance. There’s also Sir Kenneth Branagh, Tom Hardy, and, in his acting debut, Harry Styles. Except for Branagh, you may find it hard to spot the others. Olivier, BAFTA, Oscar, and Tony winner Mark Rylance gives a solid performance helming his boat, which joins the civilian watercraft armada aiding the rescue. Though you never see blood, the gore as Germans strafe and use their U-boats in unconscionable torpedo attacks is harrowing– but something’s missing. At 1:45, they’re no humanizing back stories to motivate audiences to care instead of just being blown away. The Dunkirk headlines were instrumental in getting FDR to aid the U.K. to avoid a conditional surrender to Germany.

How does a sweet gal with the name Lorraine become a bad-ass spy? In Atomic Blonde (Focus Features), adapted by Kurt Johnstad from Anthony Johnston’s graphic novel series The Coldest City, illustrated by Sam Hart, Charlize Theron is an agent sent to walled Berlin to retrieve a list of spies destined to fall into the hands of Russia for Britain’s MI6 military intelligence group. It seems like a set-up because she’s a marked woman upon arrival; but like Berry in Kidnap, Lorraine isn’t to be messed with. With almost 90% of the 115 minutes so bloated with mortal combat, karate chops, all manner of guns, and objects for body blows, it begins to get monotonous, sometimes ridiculous, and lacks a core.  The story gets muddled with the intro of a lesbian [it appears] French spy, played by Sofia Boutella – but it also gets rather steamy. Numerous flashbacks don’t help the film’s coherence. That said, Theron is, indeed atomic as a spy who doesn’t know when to come in from the cold. Kudos to director and veteran stunt coordinator David Leitch (John Wick), fight coordinator Jon Valera, and crew. Without their precision choreography, bloodied, bruised Theron and cast mates wouldn’t have come out of this alive. James McAvoy co-stars. John Goodman and Toby Jones are featured.

 There’s nothing sanitized about the raucous, crass R-rated comedy about female friends bonding, nonetheless is non-stop hilarious [and probably would be just as hilarious with less F-bomb raunch and sexual innuendos and more creative expletives], Girls Trip (Universal), made for $20-mill, rolled in out of the blue and has swept up $86-mill. In addition to stellar performances by Regina Hall and tiny dynamo Jada Pinkett Smith, brilliant comic Tiffany “Shake it ‘til it brakes” Haddish, better known to TV audiences, has had the big-screen break-out role of the year; and the gals have found a new crush in former Off Broadway actor and now hunk Mike “The Arm” Colter (who’s been gym-pumping since his Good Wife Lemond Bishop days).

It’s been a good summer for superheroes. In Spider-Man: Homecoming (Columbia Pictures/Marvel Studios), director Jon Watts does a high dive, forgets the past, and begins anew. Tom Holland (Lost City of Z) soars to new heights in the third reboot of the webby franchise by not taking himself seriously and being adept at slapstick. He’s superbly abetted by Oscar winner Michael Keaton’s intense menace– some of the film’s best moments are when Fresh-faced kid v Grizzled villain, and guest star Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Peter Parker wasn’t alone waking up to the full potential of power. In Wonder Woman [Warner Bros.] Gal Gadot (a prime asset of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) spectacularly segues with gusto from princess of the Amazons to discover her true destiny as guardian of the world. With global grosses in the multimillions, it’s no wonder sequels are in the pipeline.

Ellis Nassour is an Ole Miss alum and noted arts journalist and author who recently donated an ever-growing exhibition of performing arts history to the University of Mississippi. He is the author of the best-selling Patsy Cline biography, Honky Tonk Angel, as well as the hit musical revue, Always, Patsy Cline. He can be reached at ENassour@aol.com. 

The post Hot Movies for Summer’s Dog-Days appeared first on HottyToddy.com.

[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter fourteen (back to black... orchid, that is)

December 1, 1988. Oswego, New York.

It's a brand new day here back home upstate. I'm laying in bed all bundled up in my blankets and nursing every part of the warmth that's cradling me right now. I'm like a sleepy cat laying in the sun, except there's no sun at the moment as far as I can tell. Everything is soft, including myself. Who would've known a skinny boy could be so soft and warm.

On the other hand, I wonder Lars is doing right now. I haven't seen him in a while but it feels so long ago. I wonder how life is for him right now back in Portland. I think about his wife and how she acts toward him. I'm laying here on my back with the memory of her cursing him out fleeting from my own memory bank.

As if there are any more things I need to remember.

And then there's Marcia and Sonia. I wonder they're doing right now. And they've got the two of us invited to lunch, too!

I roll my head over the top of the pillow. I don't want to leave this warm feeling here, even with the tip of my nose and the edges of my lips turning cold. Everything is so gentle, just how I want it.

Well, that's not quite right. It'd be just how I want it if I had another two bowls full of that pasta from my aunt and uncle's house.

But I'm content here, laying here with the blankets pulled up to my ears and my hands resting upon my stomach.

That is until I feel something brush up against my knee. I open my eyes just part of the way and I see something moving on the ceiling overhead.

I open them a little more to make out the full shape of her body. Her long hair streams behind her as if there's wind right around her. Her skin shines like the snow under the light of the full moon. Everything about her is just how I want her to be in the ghost of a girl.

“Hello, my love,” I greet her in a hoarse voice. Nerissa drifts closer to me with her hand outstretched towards my chest. She runs two of her fingers over the surface of the blanket on top: her touch is so light that I don't even feel her. Her body is so full and sexy, and yet the blankets have such a snug hold on me that I can't even move.

She lands on her hip right there on the edge of the bed, right next to my waist. She strokes my chest again, and this time I feel her through the blankets. I show her my tongue as she leans forward, closer to my face.

“—slim and lush boy,” she whispers to me, and the tip of her tongue slithers out of her mouth as she comes in closer to mine. “Even more lush than ever.”

I hold still with my lips parted as she's right there right in front of my head. But instead of a kiss, she runs her fingers along my lips. The sensation sends chills over my skin. I open my mouth even more for her, but she vanishes right before my eyes before I can say anything to her.

I relax and let out a loud sigh.

“God—why.”

I know that's got to be my cue to get up now. And so I do. And I'm met with the whole place feeling colder than a refrigerator, so cold that I can't get into my flannel shirt quick enough. Well, at least I have things for breakfast now. I don't have to rely on those stinkin' Mike n Ikes again.

I'm outside of my room and looking to my right at the sight of Vera disappearing into nothing. At least Mrs. Snow isn't here at the moment.

At least I hope she isn't. I don't feel like lighting up a stick of incense at the moment.

What I do feel like doing is having something to eat and then going out to see if Barney and Billy are home. I also need to do something about those songs I have on that notepad there in the front room.

I'll have to ask around at some point. Surely someone has to have studio time at some point for me.

Once I've got a toasted English muffin with butter and a bit of coffee in me, I get dressed and head on out into this raw wintry morning. I think it's going to snow again so I'm glad I've got those leather gloves Ellen gave me. Speaking of Ellen, I hope that, if she's gone now, she was given a proper burial down in New Orleans. I hope that her family is aware of what happened to her. I'll have to come in touch with them.

But like there are more things I have to do at the moment. One thing at a time, Joe. One thing at a time. One day at a time.

The winds are extra cold this morning, and so I've got my scarf pulled up to my ears and over the tip of my nose and my lips. Bitter raw cold, from the heart of the incoming lake effect snow to my left. The last days of fall are waning away and winter is summoning upon us.

I remember those days when I was a young kid and I’d walk to school from my parents’ old house humming the Beatles songs to myself while the snow beckoned upon us. Eight days a week.

The House of Grey is looking quiet and buttoned down this morning with its darkened windows. I have a nagging feeling at that pit of my stomach but I’ll give their door a knock just to see what’s going on with my friends. I pad onto the doorstep and tap on the panel with my first two knuckles. That’s even colder.

Silence. Knock again. No one’s home. Damn it.

I don’t really feel like going back to my place and I can’t think of any numbers offhand. I don’t know if Marcia and Sonia are in today and the snow is coming so I don’t really wanna risk driving over to Rochester. There is one place I can go to, though, without crawling through a wormhole. I tug the scarf over the bridge of my nose and onto my cheekbones before doubling back onto the yard. I’m braving it and going on over to the bus stop. It’s quite the long walk, much longer than the one on the night I found Maya. Could be with this wind beating down upon me.

There’s that folder Angeline gave me the other night. I haven’t cracked it open yet just because I haven’t mustered the right state of mind as of yet. After quite the event of a dinner the other night, I haven’t been able to stomach anything pertaining to her. I really have no idea what to believe now about her. There’s just too many things going on, and too many variations and variables and whatnot that it’s exhausting every time I think about it. It’s like Lake Ontario itself with deep black waters that seem to flow against each other, obscuring the bottom.

I reach the bus stop and hold there for a minute before the bus itself lumbers up to the curb. I have some spare change in my pocket.

I take a seat at the front window behind the driver: I still have the scarf pulled up over most of my face even though I feel the blast of warm air from the heater upon my face.

Heading on to the backwoods outside of town. Towards that neighborhood near the country club, Denny’s, and the hockey rink. I ring the bell to get off once that one stop approaches even closer.

I climb off and I glance up at the darkening sky for a second before pressing onwards. The snow is coming. Once the bus pulls away from the curb, I stride the other way to the same spot I saw Death and then Maya. The feeling is different now as I cross the street to the sidewalk and continue onward towards the country club and then Black Orchid. The sign is still alight even in the daytime, such that it leads me to the front step once again..

I knock on the panel and wait a second. The door opens for me and I’m greeted by her short ‘do and her fitted black leather jacket and accompanying black lace fingerless gloves.

“There’s our mister!” Mrs. Hamilton greets me with a big beaming grin.

“Hey, Big Mama,” I return the favor to her from under my scarf.

“Come on in, Joey—you look so cold!” She leads me into the club and I shut the door behind me. I tug down the scarf so as to better feel the warmth around me. Lizzy emerges from the back room in a black top tied up around her chest which better shows off Jessica Rabbit and Betty Boop, but also an inkling of Jiminy Cricket on her side, right underneath her rib cage, and a considerably sized tattoo of Bettie Page surrounded by lilies and roses on her lower back. She shows me a smile as she approaches me with her arms open.

“There’s my walking art gallery,” I greet her and hold her close for a moment. She stands up on her toes so as to kiss my face.

“My goodness, your skin is cold,” she remarks.

“The snow is upon us, baby doll,” I tell her.

“Lili, we need to put him in a glass case so he doesn’t get frostbite,” Lizzy tells Mrs. Hamilton.

“I keep telling you, Liz, they’re too small for him and be careful with that Lili comment.” She wags her finger at her before doubling back to the stairs, and hitching up her skin-tight leather pants all the while. Louie skids into the room right then from the kitchen wearing some big heavy jewelry about her neck. Her face lights up when she recognizes me.

“Lupe!” she calls into the kitchen. “Lupe, he’s here!”

“Ladies, please,” I tell her and Lizzy, who’s still got her arm around my lower back. “I am not a specimen.”

“Bull,” Louie insists, tossing her black hair back from her shoulder so as to emphasize her collar bones. “That is complete bull.”

“You’re the finest regular specimen we’ve got, Joey,” Lizzy points out, her tongue running around her lips at me. Lupe then pokes her head out from the kitchen door with her black hair tousled onto one side of her head and those glorious hoop earrings dangling.

“The she-wolf senses it, too,” Louie adds.

“There’s my desert rose,” I say in a soft voice. “So let’s see, I’ve got Big Mama Hamilton, the Liz-meister, Louie Louie, and now the blooming one. I could ask where Gwen, Morgan, and Cindy Lou Who are because the more, the merrier but I’ll take this, though.” Lizzy runs her fingers up my chest: I feel her flat belly pressing against me. I look into her eyes and see that glimmer. That glimmer telling me she wants it. She’s another quiet one here, her and Cindy both. I like Lupe but I should probably give Lizzy a chance. She’s got those rad tattoos, too!

I open the top two buttons of my coat to better untie my scarf.

My neck is exposed for her. She’s about to kiss my neck when there’s a knock on the door behind me.

“It’s open!” Louie calls as she strolls on closer to me, on my other side. The door swings open right behind me and I tug Lizzy in closer to me to keep her warm.

“Joey,” a voice behind me declares. I shuffle around to see Spence huddled down inside of his heavy overcoat with his big black gloved hands covering his face.

“Spence!”

“Hey.”

“What's up? What's wrong?”

“Brick's back in the hospital,” he promptly says: I turn to see Louie and Lupe pressing their hands to their mouths. Lizzy meanwhile mouths the words “oh my God” at us.

“Are you serious?!” I gasp at him, and he nods his head so slow at me.

“Dead serious. Come on, I'll take you over to Syracuse. And I guess Lars and Sonia are there, too. I don’t know why but they are. Close your coat, too. It’s snowing like there’s no tomorrow out there.”

“We will be waiting for you, though, Joey,” Lupe assures me. I turn back around right as she kisses my neck: Lizzy follows suit, and then Louie finishes it out with a delicate one on my cheek. Mrs. Hamilton returns in time for one right next to the corner of my mouth. So many kisses. But I’m gonna need them for what I'm about to do.

[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter nineteen (down by the river)

“My name is Matt Foley. I am a motivational speaker, I am thrice divorced, and I live in a VAN down by the RIVER!” -Chris Farley

October 17, 1988. University District of Seattle, Washington.

Lars had told Kim that I had to stay at his place for another day, which is fine because Kim takes good care of me here in his apartment, but the only issue is that leaves me with nothing to do other than whack off some more and entertain myself--if I wanted to do any of that, I could’ve stayed home with my Mike n Ikes and not come clear across the country. But on the other hand, as long as Mrs. Snow doesn't make an appearance to dance with me I think I'll be fine. But I can't help but feel bored by the time the afternoon rolls around.

Kim had gone off with Chris, Matt, and Hiro back to their studio to some final touches on their album, and I have no means of getting a hold of Spence to see how Brick's doing in the hospital. I do, however, have a pencil and a pad of lined paper that I found on the coffee table next to the couch, which means I can write down everything that's happened the past few days, from the night Jonny told me I was done leading up to this point. It's all I can do at the moment while I'm by myself. Indeed, I fill out about five pages of paper, front and back.

At about two in the afternoon, I open the drapes on the window to peer out to the smooth black apartment buildings before me. They all look so plain in the daylight, even with the dense overflowing green gardens nestled upon the rooftops surrounded by the chrome, but I know in a few hours, it all will light up to pure neon.

And then I remember I don't have to stay here if it's going to be all day, which it will be.

I return to the couch for my jacket and my pants, and lace up on my shoes. As I'm putting my coat on, I feel the arrowhead pendant in the pocket.

I pick it out of there as I walk out of the apartment to the hallway. I don't know if this is going to get me into a lot of trouble or not, but I'm doing it anyway. I raise the pendant once I reach the hallway and open up a new wormhole. I clutch it in my hand before climbing inside. I keep my focus on the other end once the soles of my feet leave the ground.

I fall onto my shoulder upon a stretch of soft grass.

I open my eyes to the gray overcast sky stretching over a row of oak trees. I recognize the cold snow capped point of Mount Hood off in the distance through the trees.

But then again, where exactly in Portland did I bring myself to?

I pick myself up off the ground to take a better look around. Before I do so, I tie the arrowhead pendant around my neck so I don't worry about losing it.

Behind me is that line of tall scraggly trees; to the right of me stands a bridge leading into a part of town. Meanwhile, to the left is a stretch of river, cold black waters that are moving very slowly. I shiver at the very sight of the water, and I think there's a breeze blowing, but there isn't. It's as still as it was the other day when I first came here. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot something big and black looming towards me on the grass. I recognize her skull head underneath the black hood. My stomach turns at the very sight of her.

“Death,” I whisper. “Death—no. I'm still not ready yet.”

Her black cloak floats over the grass in the form of a bunch of tatters. I swallow at the sight of her.

“Please—I swear to you. I'm not dead.”

She raises her skeleton hand and gestures for me to move in closer. But I don't know if she wants to harvest me or if she wants to do something else with me. But all I know is the sight of her is making me feel cold again.

“Follow me,” she coaxes me in a delicate whisper. I peer behind me to the river to make sure no one else is here. Nope—just us here on the shore of this river somewhere around Portland. She drifts back from me, along the grass towards the tree line, and I clutch at the collar of my jacket before following her. The blade of her scythe glimmers behind her head as we approach a bend in the shore which happens to have a thick bush in the way. Death floats around it in a thick black effervescent cloud but I duck into the trees, where I almost fall ass over teakettle into a pile of mulch surrounded by a few of those wooden surveyor stakes.

I stop myself once I make out the shape of a pile of black boxes, all of which stacked on top of each other. There's no tools, just pitch black boxes and a pile of white wires, some that resemble a lot like the ones back in Seattle.

“What the hell is all of this?” I wonder aloud. Death floats up next to me, with her meager hands out before her and tatters of her cloak streaking out before her even though there still isn't any wind.

“What is this?” I ask her again, and she doesn't reply. But rather she floats forward to the boxes, and I step around the mulch and the survey stakes for a better look myself. All of this odd machinery here in the trees. I approach the stacks of boxes to examine the dark silver lettering imprinted on the top edges.

“'Maxwell Industries,'” I read aloud. “Maxwell, as in my friend Brick?”

Death once again doesn't answer me but rather floats closer to the ground: the large black holes making up her eye sockets gape back at me.

“You... look like you want to tell me something,” I admit to her.

“The young lady you found—Maya,” she begins, “what do you think happened to her?”

I swallow again as I recall my epiphany from the night before. The very thought of it makes my stomach turn.

“I think—I think someone tried to torture her,” I sputter out. She floats closer to me with her fingers extended as if she's about to touch me with her caress.

“Are you sure?” she asks me.

“Am I sure—? Um, yes.”

She drifts past me towards the pile of boxes. I watch her float in silence around them to something behind them. She's back there for a little bit before I decide to follow her there.

She's looming around what looks like a bird bath, a smooth stone basin held up by a concrete base. There's a little bit of water in there.

I move in closer and when I do, I catch a whiff of alcohol.

The clouds break open right then and gray sunlight filters in through the trees. A bit of sunlight shines over the inside of the basin and I can see some writing inscribed on the inside.

“Burrow deep into the earth, and you will find water,” it says. I think back to what Maya said in her zine: “If I burrow deep into the earth, my hope is I don't find any water because I could drown.”

I turn my head to face Death right as she sinks down to the ground as if she's about to disappear.

“Not torture,” I mutter aloud. “Not torture? Not torture!”

Her scythe returns to form in her hand.

“Back to New York, Joseph,” she whispers to me. “Back to New York,” I repeat, “you want me to go back to New York? What for?”

Once again, she doesn't reply but rather dissipates out into the trees. I fetch up a sigh.

“Back to New York it is—” I repeat, taking out the arrowhead from underneath my shirt collar.