#Moonglum of elwhere

[retrocatastrophy]

Elric + Corum memes: sad edition

[bugbart]

they should’ve been at the club

[ploppymeep]

a good friend

[retroillustrates]

Companions

[trylynarie]

I would like to add to this when Elric, Moonglum and Rackhir get to Tanelorn Eternal they deadass have a sleepover at Rackhirs house.

Underrated Elric moments

-Elric picking up a drunken Moonglum and just straight-up dunking him into a horse trough

-Elric and Moonglum arrive at the beggar city of Nadsokor and immediately gag and turn around because it smells so bad.

-Elric consistently having to be carried by his captors like a swooning victorian lady every time he's captured.

-Deus Ex Machinas everywhere, including but not limited to:

thousands of birds because apparently centuries ago Melniboné worked out a contract with a Bird-Queen-God and so no one in Melniboné eats birds. A certain number of them definitely participate in cannibalism and eat god-knows-what-else but birds are off-limits. No poultry. (note: Elric later eats poultry).

The sea god who just thinks you're neat and likes watching you struggle

Really lots of cosmic beings that show up, look at Elric, kind of let out of an uncomfortable laugh and go "I mean you're kind of fucked no matter what, sucks to be you, dude" and help him.

-Magic portals and magic in general being described as 'fleshy.' Magic portals are 'orifices,' there is a magic spell called 'the noose of flesh' which is roughly the length of a football field and takes out an entire army, Elric basically grabbing Stormbringer out of a magic chamber that bears an undeniable similarity to a womb.

-Elric screaming and sobbing and throwing himself around in anguish over Cymoril anytime having sex is brought up by the Pulp Fantasy Sexy Sorceress Of The Week, and then immediately having sex with the Pulp Fantasy Sexy Sorceress Of The Week, frequently just straight-up ditching Moonglum to do so.

-Stormbringer, the soul-stealing blade, purrs like a cat.

-Elric: Arioch! I summon thee!

Arioch: *shows up in a paragraph that reads like a K-Pop/Drag Queen fancam, lovingly strokes Elric's face, does nothing, leaves*

[ssallamander]

you cannot convince me that this didn’t happen every couple of months while they travelled together

bros helping bros

[avoyagetoarcturus]

Inspired by this post by @shadowy-dumbo-octopus

Anyway @ my followers if you’re not reading michael moorcock’s elric saga you are missing out

[guard-dogbiscuits]

On first glance, the large chaotic things were nothing but wagons--large wooden wains, drawn by oxen and piled high with looted belongings. The chaos of course came from the people who traveled with them. All of these, except for the drivers and the smallest children, rode on horseback. Though of course there were also the slaves, who either walked, or were left to die.

The fleeing mercenaries had been hired to stop the horde from laying waste to Elwher, and the rest of the Northern Marches. It had been equivalent to striking a match to stop a hurricane...

Watching from afar, Elric sighed and handed the glass to Moonglum. Though he said nothing, he felt sick with guilt. Preoccupied as he'd been with his wedding and the duties of a prince-consort, he had paid little attention to the messages coming down from the North.

He was also ashamed to admit, even to himself, that horrendous though the fate of Elwher had been, he was thankful that at least Moonglum had been away hunting, and thus lived to seek revenge.

"We will catch them," he promised.

"Aye," Moonglum agreed. "But something tells me even if we rush headlong into things, we'll be too late for those poor bastards Zarozinia's father hired..."

Messatsu!

@thinnyhopper

The Koehlanna intelligence network informed Qisalor of a band of human mercenaries getting dangerously close to Rostanel’s eastern border, said border leading to the predominantly wood-elven Grand Duchy of Schom. There were whispers of a potential second invasion by King Redrick from Durtal, the kingdom on Rostanel’s western border, as if he needed to finish what he started 10 years ago. 

Of course, those were rumors. But considering how the invasion a decade prior all started with rumors, Qisalor knew not to take such talk so lightly now. It was especially important to head east since there weren’t as many soldiers stationed there. Human intelligence may have suggested to Redrick that sending soldiers in a very roundabout path to Rostanel may have given them an advantage against the high elves. Rostanel hardly expected invasion from Schom, but certainly did from Durtal; the bulk of Rostanel’s military strength was stationed at the west. 

With the tip she got, Qisalor set out with two squads of six Koehlanna guards to accompany her to the Rostanel-Schom border. The closer they got to the border, the more wooded the area around them became. The convoy parked off a beaten path, Qisalor and most others heading deeper into the forest. The wood elves liked to say that those forests were their direct connection to the Feywild, what with a sort of mystical, whimsical feeling associated with the very wind that passed through the trees at the border. Qisalor scoffed. Said wood elves also claimed that trying to connect with their ancestors would offer protection from enemies. The fey did nothing when the library in Fomandel burned. Whether or not the fey existed didn’t matter to her, so long as they didn’t get in her or her family’s way.

Qisalor stood at over six feet tall and had somewhat pale, fair skin. Her eyes were blue, constantly squinting either out of spite towards humans or a self-sustained sense of superiority towards other non-elves. She had a black martial arts gi, the sleeves torn not from lack of upkeep, but as a stylistic choice on her part. Her arms were uncharacteristically toned for a high elf, and her hands and wrists were adorned with short, brown leather gauntlets. She had black hair combed backward and pointed upward a bit. She had a silver headband and martial arts belt, and she carried no weapons nor wore any shoes.

“Spread out,” she told her entourage in Elvish. “If you find humans, don’t attack them. Keep them there until I arrive.”

“Do you want us to give a signal, milady?” one soldier asked her.

“I’ll know,” she answered simply.

And spread out they did, Qisalor branching out much further away from the other soldiers, cracking her knuckles in anticipation. Once she was far enough away from everyone, she sat down on the grass, legs crossed, hands folded as she began to meditate.

Four…no…five beings, all wearing heavy armor. Their chi is different from that of my soldiers, not the usual pre-battle jitters they have in moments like this. No…they’re running from something…some things…a large, collective chaotic chi coming from miles away…just outside our borders further east…

She got up and immediately ran towards the source of the disturbance. She passed by some of her soldiers, some of them asking, “Lady Qisalor, should we follow?”

She stopped back to glare at the inquiring soldier. “There are humans afoot. Do you want to join them?”

Silence. 

She would continue to run for about four miles, deftly dodging the trees, stones, and cavities in the ground in the process, before seeing what her meditation notified her of.

[retrocatastrophy]

Elric memes: group therapy version

[retrocatastrophy]

Elric: You think I'm a fuckup? Just wait until you see me when I'm depressed!

Moonglum: Elric, you're always depressed.

Elric: This is literally my face. I can't help it.

[retrocatastrophy]

Moonglum: You took advice from the man who tried to kill us all?

Elric: It's called 'hitting rock bottom', Moonglum.

[retrocatastrophy]

Elric: If you wish to share a bed with me tonight, you should know that I talk in my sleep. Yell, if you want. And I have a minor tendency to summon small deities out of the nether when I begin speaking throat languages of the elder.

Moonglum: I'm not unfamiliar with that, Elric.

Elric: You're sure?

Moonglum: Positively

Elric: Then you should know that I also starfish, kick the pillows off the bed, and go to the bathroom 4 times in the night.

Moonglum: Mhm. And you snore.

Elric: *sputtering* That, I do not!

[retrocatastrophy]

Jaskier: Hey, Geralt what's up? *approaches a white haired albino man and his short ginger companion, and throws an arm around the albino's shoulders*

Elric:

Jaskier: *looks at him, smile immediately replaced with shock* Oh, shit, you're someone else... Sorry.

Moonglum: *dying* You alright there?

Jaskier: Sorry, guys. *nervously*

[retrocatastrophy]

Shaarila: Are you melniboneans always this cryptic?

Elric: I'm not being cryptic. I'm being coy.

Moonglum: You can turn into a fish?!

[retrocatastrophy]

Moonglum: I can't go to therapy, they'll tell me to stop banging you.

Elric: What? What?!

[retrocatastrophy]

Moonglum: You don't always have to go out of your way to be petty.

Elric: I don't have to. It's directly on my route