trylynarie

[trylynarie]

I would like to add to this when Elric, Moonglum and Rackhir get to Tanelorn Eternal they deadass have a sleepover at Rackhirs house.

Underrated Elric moments

-Elric picking up a drunken Moonglum and just straight-up dunking him into a horse trough

-Elric and Moonglum arrive at the beggar city of Nadsokor and immediately gag and turn around because it smells so bad.

-Elric consistently having to be carried by his captors like a swooning victorian lady every time he's captured.

-Deus Ex Machinas everywhere, including but not limited to:

thousands of birds because apparently centuries ago Melniboné worked out a contract with a Bird-Queen-God and so no one in Melniboné eats birds. A certain number of them definitely participate in cannibalism and eat god-knows-what-else but birds are off-limits. No poultry. (note: Elric later eats poultry).

The sea god who just thinks you're neat and likes watching you struggle

Really lots of cosmic beings that show up, look at Elric, kind of let out of an uncomfortable laugh and go "I mean you're kind of fucked no matter what, sucks to be you, dude" and help him.

-Magic portals and magic in general being described as 'fleshy.' Magic portals are 'orifices,' there is a magic spell called 'the noose of flesh' which is roughly the length of a football field and takes out an entire army, Elric basically grabbing Stormbringer out of a magic chamber that bears an undeniable similarity to a womb.

-Elric screaming and sobbing and throwing himself around in anguish over Cymoril anytime having sex is brought up by the Pulp Fantasy Sexy Sorceress Of The Week, and then immediately having sex with the Pulp Fantasy Sexy Sorceress Of The Week, frequently just straight-up ditching Moonglum to do so.

-Stormbringer, the soul-stealing blade, purrs like a cat.

-Elric: Arioch! I summon thee!

Arioch: *shows up in a paragraph that reads like a K-Pop/Drag Queen fancam, lovingly strokes Elric's face, does nothing, leaves*

[trylynarie]

Every friend group should include the hell-doomed exiled albino royal with chronic fatigue, the sentient soul-drinking sword who either brings out your worst impulses or literally just stabs people on its own, the extremely overpowered demonic sugar daddy who is helpful only like 20% of the time, and, of course, a short king.

[trylynarie]

I read this passage multiple times going “hold on a god dam minute-

Moonglum: I don't really get our relationship. He's sad and dramatic and staring into the distance all the time, and he hasn't gotten a girlfriend since we started hanging out, and we're both pretty sure just me hanging out with him is going to get me killed, and also I'm kind of bored by everyone else and I would do anything for him and he would do anything for me and also he kind of completes me. That's weird, right?

[trylynarie]

Currently on the vanishing tower and I was inhaling this scene like it was drugs. There’s something really sweet about how complicated Elric is and now he has a sunshine companion with him 😭😭😭😭.

for practice I drew a short comic of my favorite scene from Michael Moorcock’s The Vanishing Tower. Of all the chaos of The Elric Saga, it’s quiet moments like this that tend to stick with me.

[trylynarie]

These boys were yummy and they served. Their group is so precious I can’t-

Happy 4ggravate comeback day!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[trylynarie]

Kaeya, drunk: i shower with my vision

Rosaria: Interesting

Diluc:

Diluc: why the hell-

Kaeya: well how else am I meant to catch the water when I slip?

[trylynarie]

Alhaitham and Kaveh: you see there’s been some confusion for you see my roommate is

Kaveh: unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

Alhaitham: …blonde

[trylynarie]

Kaeya: *face plants into the door*

Venti: he’s drunk already?

Diluc: no he just took his eyepatch off for the first time in 20 years and can’t navigate for shit

[trylynarie]

After seeing that forbidden knowledge performance Alhaitham would match Kavehs art kid vibe with theatre kid.

Kaveh reeks of art kid so hard that i forget he's a STEM man.

[trylynarie]

If Polites survived

Odysseus: okay back on track after all that nonsense. Wait.

Polites: *looking sus*

Odysseus: Polites…

Eurylochus: I swear if it’s another-

Polites: *produces a Winion*

Eurylochus: not again!

Odysseus: I said it once I’ll say it again! NO PETS ON THE SHIP!

[trylynarie]

Eury: sir, do you really think Polites is good for a war zone

Ody: he’s incredibly skilled in battle. I don’t see the issue

Eury: sir he’s playing a game of uno with the enemy-

[trylynarie]

Okay why did I have a dream where I was an older Scaramouche outside of his Emo phase where Nahida was starting to trust me with looking after parts of sumeru and I was having a full on panic looking at all these maps and facts and paper work then I must have thrown something out of stress in the dream cuz I woke up while throwing my bear out the bed-

[trylynarie]

The bad batch at a bar

Wrecker: I could get a girlfriend if I wanted one, if I wanted to

Crosshair: as if

Wrecker: and you think Tech can?!

Hunter: yeah, even if by a fraction wrecker has more of a chance

Echo: mans probably doesn’t even know what melons are

Tech, very much a lightweight and plastered with one pint: I KNOW WHAT MELONS ARE THANK YOU AND I HAVE TOUCHED THEM BEFORE AND FOUND THE EXPERIENCE FASCINATION!

The bad batch: 👁️👄👁️

Tech: the beluga whale used the melon to aid in echolocation-

[trylynarie]

Omega: but Rex lost so many men. Is he okay?

Echo: not gonna lie this is an average Thursday for him

Omega:

Omega: THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER-

[trylynarie]

Legolas: have you not heard anything lord Elrond has said?!

Boromir: •_•

Legolas: he is your King! You owe him your allegiance!

Boromir: •_____•

*a while later*

Gimli: so where is the elf?

Boromir: gimme a sec I’ll summon him *breathes in Aragorn’s general direction*

Legolas:

[trylynarie]

You can’t expect the man’s to be hungy and not get angy he needs his snackies

Fives: Since we're going to be stuck here for a while, I'm going to apologise in advance for whatever shit I do when my stomach is empty Rex, pulling out snack bars: Here Fives: Holy shit Rex: After you called me a 'patronising mollusk' last time, I decided to prepare for any future instances where we would be stuck without food Fives: Out of everything I said last time, 'patronising mollusk' is the thing that stuck out to you? Rex: I'm choosing to ignore everything else that was said so I won't feel the need to punch you when you start acting hungry

[trylynarie]

Fruit Sniper (Crosshair)

-imagine tbb as cadets for this one :) -

Crosshair was on the brink of insanity. These regs can't shoot basic targets yet they had the balls to claim he was the defective one. Okay granted not many ten year olds could shoot like a trained hitman and he was practically mute most of the time but it was the principle of it!

"Heya, Crosshair!" Wrecker on the other hand was beaming.

"Have you got to bring that stupid toy to the mess?" He sighed.

"Hey!" The big clone pouted, "Lula is apart of this team to! Where we go, she goes! And I know it was you who made her for me."

"Did."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Didn't."

"Anyway, doesn't it drive you insane?" Crosshair said through gritted teeth, he had indirectly started a staring contest with a reg and he was not losing.

"What insane? What ya lookin at?"

"These stupid regs."

"Reg are just regs," he shrugged, "not worth worrying about them."

The reg in particular was rapidly losing this contest. From the other side of the mess, Crosshair could see that his eyes were beginning to go red and water. Red like... oh... what a wonderful idea. Petty, yes. But petty enough to turn the insanity tables.

"Wrecker... how many watermelons can you carry?"

"Haha! More than you! .... Umm.... Why?"

"Break into the kitchen and steal as much fruit as you possibly can."

"Well what's in it for me?"

He gave a satisfactory smirk as the reg couldn't take anymore and lost the game, "you get to watch me put these Shebs in their place."

About an hour later, Wrecker and Crosshair were hiding in the kaminoans viewing platform of the mess, curtains only slightly ajar so Crosshair could see what he was doing. Was this severely breaking the rules? Yes. Did they care? No of course they didn't, it's only a crime if you get caught after all ;). The door was locked and at this point anyone in the bad batch knew the ventilation layout like the back of their hand.

"So what exactly is it you're gonna do with a sniper and fruit?" Wrecker questioned.

"Prove that regs are stupid?" Crosshair focused on the point he needed, if he short this right...

This didn't exactly provide Wrecker with much clarity.

"So what do you want me to do then?"

"Go to the vent in the mess ceiling and drop the melons of course."

"Of course." Wrecker imitated, rolling his eyes and climbed back into the vent.

As expected, Wrecker was having a growth spurt earlier than his fellow defective counterparts and the vent seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. Tech predicted that in a couple months he wouldn't be able to fit anymore. Sure he took pride in being the strong one but it suddenly made him more different than his friends; more different than he was comfortable with. But it made the vent cover easier to take off so it was a 50/50 situation.

The first water melon was casually rolled out the ceiling. Now was was crosshair going to-

A singular shot was fired, hitting the melon and making it burst with a loud bang and spraying the floor dwelling regs in a red watery mess. The cadets would have mistaken it for blood if one of them didn't get it in their mouth. The confused wails were a melody to Crosshairs ears. Nobody shall dis his squad!

Besides the one cheering Hardcase he could hear in the background.

"WOO SOMETHING INTERESTING!"

"Hardcase shut up!"

"HOW ABOUT NO?!"

"There's watermelon all over my revision notes I have a heart exam in less than an hour."

"THEY GOT HELMETS ON THEIR HEADS! BUT I GOT A WATER MELON INSTEAD! B-)"

Wrecker had a Birds Eye view on the whole scene and could see Crosshair had covered a significant amount of surface area. This was too good, their faces looked so confused! Now what if he threw down another?

It would have helped if his grey haired companion was actually looking out of the window rather than giggling into the sniper. It was only by chance he saw a large amount of green move rapidly across his peripheral vision.

"Sheb!" He cussed as he quickly leapt up to the window, barely getting the shot in time.

BANG

The pieces came at the regs this time with much more velocity, one of them being physically blown back from melon to the face. This was pure gold. He knew he was going to get in some form of trouble for this but it was totally worth it

—————————

"There's another one." Tech cocked his head towards Hunter.

"Yeah, are we being attacked or something?"

The pair of them were in the barracks, in a mutual stale mate of 'this noise is really overwhelming me but I'm not going to tell you that'.

As much as he didn't want to, Hunter concentrated on the noise's whereabouts.

"I... I think... it's coming from the mess hall."

"Didn't Crosshair and Wrecker go there?"

"Oh no?" Hunter went pale, not expecting it to be their creativity causing the ruckus, "we gotta go."

He made his way for the door but was pulled back by a concerned Tech.

"If it really is an attack we shouldn't go through the corridors!"

"Yeah," Hunter agreed, "take the vent."

There were multiple vents into the mess hall. Having more common sense than the other two, they went for the one that was closest to the floor.

"What do you see?" Tech asked.

"There seems to be no droids," Hunter surveyed the scene, "but they're all panicking about something or other. And they're... covered in fruit?"

"Pardon?"

"I'm not joking."

They clambered out of the vent, only to get hounded by the newly painted red regs.

"You!" One pointed at them accusingly, "I bet you freaks had something to do with this!"

Hunter raised his hands, "hey calm down, soldier. We just came to investigate. What's going on up here?"

"Guys!" Another reg bounced over to them, assumably Hardcase.

Despite Hunters heightened senses, he still couldn't tell him apart from the others. He felt bad about it but the guy was so hyper he could tell off personality. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"There's watermelons exploding everywhere, it's hilarious!"

Tech raised an eyebrow, "water melons?"

"Yes!" The angry reg butted back in, "and you can't tell me otherwise that it's you!"

"We may be more skilled than you but defying the law of gravity may be difficult even for us." He shot back in a deadpan tone.

"Well then where's q-tip and smooth brain?"

Hardcase glared at him, "they have names you know?"

"You're just as bad as them you little traitor."

"OH YEAH?!"

While Hunter tried his best to stop Hardcase going ham, Tech went about figuring out what on Kamino was going on. Melons from the ceiling? Well there was a vent... oh- OH! The vent was open with a clear face poking out the shadows and conveniently half a face behind observation deck curtains. The face in the ceiling also gave a little wave to him. Impressive. As funny as he thought this was, there was a high chance it would damage their reputation more than it was already.

"Hunter, can you do me a favour?"

"I'm a little busy right now!"

"Just go check on a ceiling vent, will you?"

Hardcases medic batch mate had now joined the fray. They had an arm each on Hardcase with the medic silently begging Hunter to not let go.

"You go!" Hunter shouted back.

Tech let out a sigh as he crawled back into the unsanitary vent. Why was it him always doing everything? It wasn't easy to scale up a vertical vent but the skill might come in handy one day. The vent was pitch black so he had to make some very well educated guesses on where he was but he was a Tech so this was fine.

Fine until he heard a "Wait Tech no-"

He had crawled straight into the melons causing one to dislodge.

"No no no oh no..." all Wrecker could do was hope that-

"I had to dip," Crosshair was coming up behind him, "The Kaminoans were breaking down the door-" he froze as he heard a loud thump.

"I don't wanna look..."

"Wrecker just look down."

He looked, "well... I don't think Hunter is going to remember any of this again."

And he was right. All Hunter remembered after the incident was a large amount of green then darkness. The melon had knocked him out cold.

———————

"Yeah and that's how the glorious Sargent was defeated by a watermelon." Crosshair smirked, Omega looked spellbound.

"Wow."

"CROSSHAIR STOP TELLING OMEGA-"