#Mr Neil Gaiman pretty please

[passerine2019]

I will be so pleased if Good Omens 3 ends with “The story ends like how it started, in a garden.” And it just slowly zooms in on Crowley planting in their cottage’s garden while Aziraphale dozes in the sun with a book

[neil-gaiman]

Mr. Neil,

I am literally begging you on my hands and knees to please PRETTY PLEASE put David Tennant in a corset in GO S3 it would slay so hard.

Thanks!

I'm sorry, Neil Gaiman doesn't have any social media.

[oldblackhat]

Y’all this petition going around - I've seen it twice now - the one that includes: “As Neil Gaiman has offered to step back, there is no reason for the production of the TV series to stop” (full text below)

Oh my God y’all please Do Not sign that!

I know we are all having different reactions and I respect that — but y’all I'm concerned that this petition in particular is actually kinda doing his PR team’s work for them!

If you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 then please consider signing one that requests he be fired (i.e. http://bit.ly/firegaiman) and/or includes stipulations about what “step back” actually means in practice (because we still don’t know).

We still don't know what “discussions about possible production changes” and “offered to step back”/“take a back seat” actually means in terms of degree of removal and on-the-ground changes. Will he be on set at all (possibly getting access to interact with young female staff)? How (if at all) will he be referenced in official promotions and interviews for the show?

Is there a possible world where Amazon accepts Neils offer but Amazon/Neils definition of “step back” is Wholey Insufficient and nothing near as comprehensive as we’re all hoping? Unfortunately, I think yes! Yes there is.

Until we know for sure what “step back” actually means (so we can know if it’s enough) I think we need to not wave the victory banner just yet and keep pushing for his removal (so if you’re going to sign a petition—please choose a different one)

I think it’s fine to hope that it means he’ll be cut out as thoroughly as we all hope—but I think it’s honestly kinda dangerous to assume this to be true (without sufficient evidence) to the point of signing a petition that says since he’s “offered to step back, there is no reason for the production….to stop”.

It’s dangerous in that you are setting yourself up for more pain in the future if you convince yourself this “step back” is going to be to a sufficient degree — and we later learn that it is not.

And it’s dangerous because y’all I do think this petition in particular is one his PR team would support getting as many signatures as possible.

Y’all I think his lawyers and PR team want people focusing on renewing the show instead of focusing on the allegations. They want us to take his “offer to step back”, be satisfied with it, and actively shift attention away from how bad he is towards unpausing production.

It’s in the phrasing. Honestly nothing in this petition makes it clear to me whether the writer is or isn’t a rape apologist. I’m not saying they are but I can’t tell and I think that’s a pretty major red flag. It’s how he only gets mentioned one time: “as Neil Gaiman has offered to step back, there is no reason for the production….to stop” and there’s no mention of why he’s “offering to step back” (the five women who’ve come forward)

And of course since he’s “not admitting to any wrongdoing” he gets to play the white knight offering to gallantly step back so the show can go on (sickening). And again the only reference to him in this petition is that he’s “offered to step back” — what a nice gentle phrasing that doesn’t disallow a white knight interpretation!

Now i want to be clear — I am Not saying helping his PR is the intent of anyone who has already signed this petition or reblogged it — I’m assuming best intentions here (which would be not realizing that signing/reblogging this is arguably helping his PR team)

But y’all again if you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 please sign and share one like this http://bit.ly/firegaiman that explicitly stipulates to fire him and includes: “We feel very strongly that we cannot financially support Good Omens with Mr. Gaiman still in a position of power within it and are calling for his immediate dismissal.” Because again yall we don’t know if the “step back” currently being discussed behind closed doors will be enough so we should still be pushing for his removal.

Or make a new petition that stipulates he not be on set, or anywhere near young female staff, and also not be discussed positively in any promotional material, etc.

And if pushing for him to be truly sufficiently uninvolved does help lead to this show being cancelled — then that might mean his being sufficiently uninvolved just wasn’t about to be on the table for whatever reason — and if that’s the case then it’s probably for the best the show doesn’t continue :/

(i know i hope not i honestly do hope he can be removed sufficiently & the show can go on but we can’t know yet whether he is going to be sufficiently removed)

Here’s a screenshot of the full text of the petition I don’t think you should sign:

Please please please if you decide you want to sign a petition about saving GO season3 please sign and share one like this instead:

[loveaetingkids]

Can I please have some facts about Coraline?

Wow,I never thought someone would be interested! I gathered a few fun facts,and while I’m sure they’re easy to spot, these are fun to tell to the new viewers:

•To start it off,the movers who were unpacking Coralines family furniture were modeled and named after Joe and Jerome Ranft,who worked on Nightmare Before Christmas:

•The dollar that was handled over to them has the image of Henry Selick on it,director of Coraline:

•Wybie Lovat is not part of Neil Gaiman’s novel-he was created so that Coraline won’t talk to herself( in the book we read about her thoughts,but  it’s much harder to do so in film).

•The medal of Mr Bobynsky is real one: it was awarded to the Chornobyl disaster liquidators(fun fact:the power plant is called ChOrnobyl, not ChErnobyl since it was built in Ukraine,so Ukrainian spelling style applies). His exposure to radiation explains Bobynsky’s blue skin and unwell mind:

•The “jumping mice” are also real.They are native to the south of United States:

•During Coralines first encounter with Other Mother,when she asks Beldam what rain is she talking about,we see a quick appearance of lightning which looks suspiciously like a hand. This is not a coincidence, as the hand is closely associated with the witch (this sign appears in the cup during the foreshadowing of Spink and Forcible; her severed hand chases the heroine at the end of the movie):

•It’s a pretty well known fact,but on the cake itself we see that “home” in “Welcome home” has an “o” written with a double loop,which according to pseudoscience called graphology means that the person who wrote it is lying.Thus,Coraline is welcomed but it isn’t her home:

•Here’s my own little theory: each time Coraline crawls through the tunnel to another world, it dims,until all the colors disappear and the true essence of the pathway is revealed - a cobweb with children’s toys in it(a trap for kids).Now it might be just a trick of light,but it’s interesting to think about nevertheless:

•The audience gets hints of Beldams fairy/witch nature throughout the film; the first time is when Coraline finds a well surrounded by a circle of mushrooms, which in the beliefs of many people was associated with fairies who lured people into them(sounds familiar?).The second time is when she was given a stone with a hole in it by Spink and Forcible.This rock is often called Hag stone,and is believed to serve as a protection against evil spirits.It is also believed that you can see through the guise of a witch by looking through the hole(exactly what Coraline did to find the eyes of missing children):

•Now,the bug theme in Coraline is really prevalent,and later in the movie we can see that Other Mother is heavily associated with spiders.Meanwhile Coraline has similar thing going on-she wears hairpin resembling dragonfly,who are known for eating spiders.Because of this,the game of predator and prey is turned on its head:

That’s it for now,hope these were interesting for you!

[documentary-surrealist]

“As I see it, I think celebrities suck.” -- Eddie Vedder -------------------

you know the saying "you should never meet your heroes"? it's especially relevant in today's celebrity climate, where a shrewd public persona is placed at much higher value than talent. sadly, the work can no longer speak for itself. but, just remember, there are many celebrities (just like regular people) that don't practice what they preach. the main difference between us & them, though, is that they make quite a nice living at being hypocrites. if it turns out they're eventually outed as incorrigible ogres - don't despair. you definitely have permission to hate the artist, but still selfishly consume (as much as you can bear, of course, before throwing up) their art. you shouldn't have to engage in daily flagellation for simply not incinerating their signed dvd's, signed books, signed photos, etc. you can still be a fan of the WORK. just DON'T spend as much money on them anymore. on my tumblr - i have posted screenshots, quotes, poems, etc., from some baffling dipshits the likes of woody allen, ingmar bergman, alfred hitchcock, anne sexton, ted hughes, james franco (and, also, from a great number of unconfirmed asswipes, too). i do this because i think they're either talented, eye candy, hot, interesting.... or i just do it for purely schematic (& degradative) reasons - like acquiring a specific piece of shitty furniture that perfectly blends in with the constantly morphing color palette of my blog. afterall, my tumblr is all about contrast & texture.👑 i do wanna make clear that i'm not actually implying that these celebrities are aesthetic pieces of meat, but i'm also not not implying that either. regarding my feelings about the recent neil gaiman accusations - please see above. i will make it totally clear that i haven't read anything by gaiman, but purely judging by the film "coraline" & the entire 1st seasons of "the sandman" & "good omens", i find him quite bland & lacking a requisite wildness. on top of that, i have observed him here on tumblr being glib & patronizing to his fans, which did leave a bad taste in my mouth. i am pretty sure i won't be seeking out any writing by mr. neil gaiman.😔

[antlerx-art]

GOOD OMENS 2 EPISODE 4 REACTION - CONTAINS SPOILERS‼️

NAZI ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS IM SO NOT READY

aziraphale why do you have to be so pretty

modern heh🤩 but not bebop🤨 HES CUTEE

OH. MY. GOD.

OH MY

NOT MOONLIGHT SERENADE

IF THIS PLAYS LATER IN THE EPISODE IN THE FLASHBACK IM GOING TO ACTUALLY FEEL SICK NEIL GAIMAN YOURE CRAZY YOURE SO CRAZY OHHHH MY GOD

okay i’m normal again

SHAX?

DONT TOUCH HIM LEAVE HIM ALONE

oh i don’t think we’ve ever seen aziraphale talking to a demon other than crowley have we?

“im a little bemused as to why crowley would risk destruction for you, you don’t seem his type at all” EHHEHHEHE aziraphale knows he is

POOR OLD FURFUR? WHAT DO YOU MEAN TICKET TO THE BIG TIME

aziraphale uhm i love you but that was VERY naive you’ll have to run her over with the car now 👍🏻

OHHH YES LONDON 1941 LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAAAA its the same scene but the nazis are about to become zombie flesh eaters

furfur face reveal?

LOL THE NAZIS WENT TO HELL

ah yes nice fresh cup of fire

THE LIFT HOMEEEEEEEEE

aziraphale’s face 🫶🏻😭 “shut upppp”

“on behalf of my………..good friend here” michael sheen had an aziraphale moment in that one interview

YAY ITS AZIRAPHALE’S MAGIC SHOW

okay so furfur uses the nazis to spy on aziracrow HEHEHEH they’re gonna interrupt them during the dinner aren’t they

miracle blocker 💀

the proof being?? an almost kiss ?? i’m delusional

yummm tasty human flesh meal

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEYRE IN THE BOOKSHOP

“oh there’s no need to thank me that’s what……… friends……..do” AZIRAPHALEEEEEEEEEEE

“to mr fell (that’s me😊) a wonderful student”

AZIRAPHALE MOVING AROUND BEING EXCITED FOR THE MAGIC ACT AND CROWLEY PLAYING THE PUBLIC OH THEYRE SO THEYRE SOOOO

also what made crowley so embarrassed about it in the future?

“the farthing has vanished!!!!”

“you, my nefertiti fooling fellow~ are about to perform on the west end stage! if that doesn’t make you a professional conjurer, i don’t know what does” CROWLEY YOU HAVE TO PUT A ROMANCE WARNING BEFORE SPEAKING THIS IS SO ADORABLE

AND JUSSSST THW WAY AZIRAPHALE SMILES AT HIM????

oh my is this going to be the boa scene? 🫢

“natural dexterity” yeah now i see why crowley’s embarrassed

why does aziraphale have a firearm license HOW MANY LICENSES DOES HE HAVE

“you wot?”

CROWLEY’S GOING TO BE THE ASSISTANT I KNEW IT (THE HAND ON THE ARM!!!)

THEY HELD HANDS AZIRAPHALE PUT HIS LEFT HAND ON CROWLEYS TOO OOOOOHHHH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF SLOWED GIFS PEOPLE ARE GOING TO MAKE OF THIS MOMENT

these nazi zombies are crap what was their plan anyway

HELP they’re all soldiers

THE MIRACLE BLOCKER NOOO

OOOHHH ITS NOT GONNA END WELL IS IT

shit they took the picture

i’m actually sweating

POOR CROWLEY’S TREMBLING

WOOOO IT WORKED

AZIRAPHALE IS SO GAY WITH THAT BOA STOP STOP BEING GAY YOURE TOO SWEET

“aziraphalala” me reading his name for the first time

girl put that picture on fire it’s literally in your own hands

aziraphale has stolen the evidence with a magic trick hasn’t he

HAHA YESS HE DID

OHHHHHHHHHH THE DINNER THE DINNERRRRRR

SHADES OF GRAY VERY DARK GRAY AND VERY LIGHT GRAY ITS THEM OH ITS SO THEM IM IN TEARS

do demons even have vital organs?

“CROWLEY’S PET”😨

don’t touch his bookshop.

nina break up with them that relationship is so stressful please

NAH CROWLEY TALKING TO THE BENTLEY LIKE A DOG 💀

THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE BALL YEAAAAAAH

tagging @neil-gaiman since he said he was interested in reading live reactions

[demoniccak-e]

OKAY OKAY HEAR MR OUT WITH THE JOB MINISODE.

no i don't know anything about bibical era stuff but i decided to shoot my best shot with my good old friends wikipedia, google and the depths of tumblr

soso, basically what if it's like the time with the antichrist where they're supposed to work together against each other (might make no sense but it does to me bare w/ me please) but it's literally with like the archangels involved and the cause i know damn well in that new aziraphale poster that in NOT THE PRE-FALL CROWLEY that is GABIREL because LOOK AT AZIRAPHALES CLOTHES. (js a lil nudge to the people who keep sayin that theres prefall crowley with pretty aziraphale we will get that it's just not that part)

so, like i know (i think i know) that job is being tested by heaven and hell about his like goodness or something because hell made a deal with god saying that "oh mayb it's becaus his life is grate so likw what if we just make it even WORSE to test his uh loyalti to god!11!" then heaven was like "Absolutely." AND THEN AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ARE ASSIGN D TO BE THERE AND DO STUFF

ok but theres more bc after some very close speculation by not me™ the photo where they're sitting together by the edge of the ocean in the background theres a rainbow and im literally using aziraphales magnifying glass to see that but ITS THERW so like ik (i can only say i think ik so many times to just assume at this point) that it's after noahs arc. what i ALSO KNOW is that some of jobs children were going to die/did die (man idk at this point the bible has too many plot points to follow :(( (also never read the bible in my entire existenc)) what i ALSOALSO know is that crowley is not very keen on killing kids.

so my guess is that theres going to be like a little thing where like idk aziraphale heard something and was like "oh dear, that's what crowley's doing?" and then goes to him and is like "PLEASE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS" and then crowley's gotta keep up with his swag idc style so he doesn't really imply what he plans on doing but like he saves the children or something I DONT KNOW

but what could also happen is that crowley asks for help from aziraphale but also knowing crowley AT THAT TIME (literally based on like 5 minutes of seeing him at those times) would not ask aziraphale to help (at least not directly?)

anyways

skipping over back to that rock scene is likw i think that scene is what happens but based on what i looked up, all of jobs kids are dead but also knowing neil gaiman he might switch that up or somehting cause like cmon it's neil gaiman

that rock scene it literally could be like a chaotic scene but like ITS THAT RAINBOW MAN THEIR SITTING ON A ROCK. THEY'RE SITTING AND THEY'RE STARING AT THE OCEAN AND LIKE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING ONE OF THEM COULD BE CRYING LAUGHING SMILING AT THE SEA OR THEY COULD BE SITTING IN SILENCE OR IT COULD BE A HEARTFELT MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO IDK BUT I JUST KNOW THAT THAT PART IS EITHER GOING TO WRENCH MY HEART OUT OF MY CHEST AND HURT OR IT'S GOING TO START TO REACH FOR MY HEART BUT THEN INSTEAD JUST GIVE A HUG AND MAKE ME START SOBBING. EITHER WAY ly neil u silly lil goof

[chromegnomes]

I'm gonna delete this post later, but thought I'd put out a general Last Call in case any of my followers/mutuals wanted to join the beta reader group for my WIP series The Skeleton King over in the Wyngspan Labs discord.

Here's a temporary link to the PDF of the teaser I sent the existing group; it's about 6500 words long, and is a pretty good sample of what the rest will be like.

If you're interested, I'll put the Q&A I wrote for the beta readers below a Read More here, so you can know what you'd be getting into:

WHAT IS SKELETON KING?

Skeleton King is a novel* that I (Ross) have been writing on and off for over 10 years now, which began as a comedy serial I was writing for my college's writing club. This current iteration is the 4th draft.

*As of this draft, Skeleton King is no longer one novel, but a series of 5 short novels/novellas, each of which is stylized as an "Act" of a 5-act Shakespearean tragedy. This 5-act structure was present in the 2020 draft, but I hadn't yet accepted that it should probably be split into separate volumes.

CAN I READ THE PREVIOUS DRAFTS?

I'll probably post snippets from the 2020 draft when they become relevant, or if it would be funny to do so. The others will be buried with me.

WHAT IS A "SUB-ACT"?

Skeleton King riffs on story structure pretty explicitly throughout. Each book in the series is an "Act," but each book also has a traditional Act structure within it; most have 3 acts, one has 2, and one has 5. I'm not sure what to call these colloquially, because "chapter" feels insufficient but "act" is confusing. IMO it's easier to understand within the books themselves, because they're labeled like "Act I-1, Act I-2, Act I-3; Act II-1," etc

SO WHAT'S THIS BOOK ABOUT ANYWAY?

Coming up with a good elevator pitch for this book is literally the hardest part, and I'll be seeking guidance on that. On the surface, it's a coming-of-age road trip dramedy about four very strange high school boys, set in 2010, that gradually becomes a supernatural action-comedy; under the hood, it's an unhinged post-post-ironic Story About Stories that is trying to do way too much at once, but that information overload is, itself, one of the most important themes.

WHAT ARE THE MAIN INFLUENCES?

I think listing some of the books that have left the biggest impact on SK's style/tone will be helpful for giving people a yardstick to judge if it's accomplishing its goals. This list is incomplete, and in no particular order:

• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams • Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke • House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski • A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket • Moby-Dick by Herman Melville • Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood • Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett • A whole lot of books by Ursula K LeGuin • A whole lot of books by Kurt Vonnegut

If you put all of those books in a blender and then reassembled them into a love/hate letter addressed to the ghosts of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung, you would get Skeleton King.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO GET OUT OF THIS?

• Motivation to finally finish the series, because I work best when I have an audience • Knowledge of what's working and what isn't, so please be honest about how you react to things, good or bad • A first pass at sensitivity reading. Due to its setting, race, class, and queerness come up a decent amount in these books; I am trying to be thoughtful in how I address these subjects, but if I overstep, I'd much rather be cautioned/corrected by readers I trust before the wider internet gets their hands on it. • The ego boost of watching a scene/joke land as I intended it to • The all-important unspoken corrective of watching a scene/joke I thought would hit flop instead

IS THIS "ROSCOE WATSON" GUY SUPPOSED TO BE YOU?

Roscoe is neither a self-insert nor not a self-insert, but a secret third thing. It's complicated, keep reading.

The most I'll say is that a lot of his interests and mannerisms are based on a teenage me, but his life and upbringing are very different from mine.

THIS IS A HOMESTUCK THING, ISN'T IT?

I only read Homestuck very recently, and did so because people who read earlier drafts of Skeleton King kept pointing out the existing similarities to me. I would like to think that Skeleton King is less obnoxious than Homestuck, but both are definitely engaged in a similar kind of metatextual ADHD maximalism.

DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ON THE ROAD?

No.

[screaming-apple]

IS ZHANG ZHEHAN PRO-FASCIST OR IS IT JUST A HOAX FROM THE PUBLIC’S DECEIVERS?

August 2021, when netizens were still overwhelmed by the drama series of Zhang Zhehan being “pro-Japan”, a picture which he took in Zhejiang in 2019 was dug up and was labelled as “saluting in Hitler’s way” = worshipping fascism. And with the effort to spark up the rage from the public even more, bloggers even suggested that this picture had been taken at a memorial hall (see Pic 1). This next part is to clarify what’s true and what’s not.

1. Where and when the picture came to exist.

This picture was taken along with several other pictures and they were posted on ZZH’s personal account on 15th December 2019 - one day after season 1 of “Everybody Stand By” show’s final, along with the caption “I’m waiting for you”, a line in the skit “Big Brother”, which he acted in. Besides seeing him taking pictures and celebrating with his friends after his winning, we can understand how much the skit “Big Brother” means to him and his co-actor - who quickly replied with the same line in the comment section (see Pic 2).

2. What building was there in the background?

The monument that had been assumed to be the Memorial Hall of Revolutionary Martyrs was actually Zhejiang Exhibition Hall. This location is 5 kilometres away from the actual Memorial Hall, equivalent to a 1-hour-and-15-minute walk (see Pic 3).

3. Analyze and identify the “rite” that Zhang Zhehan used.

ZZH’s hand movement if put in the context of just the viral picture, it looks more like a taxi-waving action than a saluting action. And to compare the action of a Chinese man, standing on the Chinese land to the standards of German people, American people or overall European people is pretty confusing.

Not only that, an “anti-fan” of ZZH was quick to get on Twitter to send Neil Gaiman this particular picture that compared ZZH’s action to Adolf Hitler. He is the author of the book “The Graveyard Book” which ZZH had introduced to his fans recently and Mr Gaiman had also thanked ZZH for enjoying his works while also hinting that he would watch Word of Honor (Shan He Ling), which he had starred in. Mr Gaiman is a person of Polish-Jewish origin - the people who were once suffered the “massacre” of Nazi Germany (I hope this part of translation is not offensive to anyone as the way of expression might be different in Vietnamese and in English - if any part is so, please tell me to help rephrase it). He had also given his comment against the rumour-spreader (see Pic 4).

“Definitely don’t support Nazis. Also don’t have any context for the photo on the top. Who was he saluting? Were they Nazis? Were they saluting back? Are you sure he wasn’t caught mid-wave or try to figure out how high something was?”

***CONCLUSION:

To re-emphasize, every action and every word should be put into the context they were in before being put forwards to be judged. All of the contextual aspects (images, people, comments) in this situation were merely to commemorate a past show and character of ZZH, there was no worshipping or saluting anyone. The label “pro-fascist” being placed upon ZZH is an effort to turn white into black, to deceive the public of the bad guys in this story.

!!! The original source mentions some information + images relating to war. To avoid subsequent troubles, this blog will stop posting about this piece of information.

---

The pictures + the OG captions that came with them:

Pic 1: Bloggers spread the rumour saying that ZZH stood in front of Zhejiang Memorial Hall of Revolutionary Martyrs while saluting in Hitler’s way. This is an unacceptable act in Germany, America and other Western countries.

Pic 2: The original post on ZZH’s Weibo uploaded on 15th December 2019.

Pic 3: The building is actually Zhejiang Exhibition Hall, and it takes 1 hour and 15 minute to walk from the Memorial. (Plus some light editting to translating the words into English).

Pic 4: The author Neil Gaiman of Polish-Jewish origin commented on the picture comparing ZZH’s action to Adolf Hitler.

The link to the OG post:

https://www.facebook.com/thientominhtam/posts/117326724051434?notif_id=1634286658620603&notif_t=page_post_reaction&ref=notif

---

I do have some opinions myself on this. First of all, you need to know that in Asia, or particularly in Vietnam (and maybe even in China), rites and symbols of Nazi Germany mean little to us, as they are only talked about in some brief history lessons about Europe in general or about World War II in general. I did not even know that was the salute way of Nazi Germany until I read about ZZH’s situation relating to this topic. And the swastika symbol, I even saw students, in my secondary/high school, in my class, drawing them on their books or dictionaries. They were not fascists, obviously, they only thought it was a weird symbol that could be drawn somewhere for fun. So, this is me explaining why putting an Asian on the scale to judge a European or a German is weird and confusing.

I’m not saying he knew it was a Nazi way to salute, it might just be him re-enacting the action from the skit, as I have seen another post doing an analysis on it. Also, in the comment section of one of the pictures, people have also commented old communist posters (below) with people doing the same exact pose. It could be an action to imply like “keep moving forward” or “to infinity and beyond” even if his arm was not raised all high up.

There are only a few posts left of this series to be translated. However, these posts are pretty long. After this, I might get to translating a person in high place’s opinions about ZZH’s situation. He is pretty determined to get this case carefully examined and judged, with professional process and not just let him be condemned by bloggers, platforms and ignorant passers-by. Sina tried to get his posts taken down, but he threatened them and they had to return the posts to him. So, that was a brief of what I have read today on him. I have mentioned him in one of the posts I uploaded, his name is Li Xuezheng and he is the director of the Golden Shield Film and Television Center under the Central Military Commission's Logistics Support Department.

Thanks for keeping up with me. If you can help spread this post or the others, it would be much appreciated.

Link of the full list of my translations:

[adventuresofclever]

CleverMax: SDCC 2021 Masquerade Entry

Comic-Con@Home Masquerade Entry: Adventures of Clever Costume Title: CleverMax - Mr. Clever as a Borderlands boss Costume Description: Recreation of Mr. Clever from the Doctor Who episode Nightmare in Silver, written by Neil Gaiman, done in the style of the video game, Borderlands. Bio: They/He pronouns

Greetings all!

I realized that I never wrote about how I made my CleverMax mashup cosplay, so when SDCC posted about their At Home masquerade, I figured this was the perfect time to do so! Most of you know that I cosplay exclusively as Mr. Clever from Doctor Who, with the random mash up thrown in here and there. I’ve always wanted to be a Borderlands cosplayer, and the following is how I managed to combine the two together.

As always, enjoy the blog and if there are any questions, please feel free to contact me. 

Let’s step into the TARDIS and jump back to October 20, 2009, when the first Borderlands game was released. It was my first foray into FPS (First person shooters) and I was hooked from day one. In 2012 they released Borderlands 2 which is, in my not so humble opinion, the best video game ever created. We got some of the most iconic charcters and storylines in that game. Including the best DLC ever, Bunkers and Badasses. And my second favorite villain of all time – Handsome Jack.

Jack’s sass, sarcasm and charm fits well with Mr. Clever’s personality. And in the pre sequel you get to play a version of him called the Dopplegnager.  I mean, this pretty much wrote itself.

Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2 and Mr. Clever from Doctor Who

Borderlands cosplayers have aIways left me in a state of awe and admiration. The style of the game is so unique and seeing it recreated in person is nothing short of incredible. I’ve always wanted to figure out a way to be a Borderlands cosplayer. For the past eight years I have only ever cosplayed as Mr. Clever from Doctor Who. In the summer of 2019 I decided that was the perfect time to try to make this happen before NYCC.

When I initially decided to do this, it was going to be more of a mash up between Handsome Jack and Mr. Clever. I had planned on wearing Jack’s basic outfit, but in Clever’s colors with the a few add ons. Namely the bow tie and the cybernetics.

After much research and drafting, I decided against that. I ended up just turning Mr. Clever into a Borderlands boss. Same basic outfit as Mr. Clever/11th Doctor, but cel shaded and with weapons, cause Borderlands.

I made the accessories, chess set, and obviously the working cyberplanner piece itself for my Nightmare in Silver version of Clever, but I have never tackled anything this ambitious. An entire costume from scratch? Not something I thought I could do. Not knowing how to sew and being visually impaired were both challenges that I had to work around.

I started with looking around my house for various items that I thought I could use. I figured if I messed up, might as well mess up on something I hadn’t spent money on yet! I was going to toss a pair of my old paddock boots as they had some rips in the leather. Ripped leather? How very Pandora. They were the first thing I tackled.

Old paddock boots that I refurbished for the cosplay

This was my first time using leather paint and I have to say I am very pleased with the Angelus brand of leather paint. I have worn these in the rain and through puddles, and they have held up 100%.

After the boots were done, I started on the vest. I had an old black vest lying around the house that was sort of the shape and size I wanted. I don’t have a dress form, so I put it on myself, inside out, and used safety pins to make it the size I needed, then hand sewed around the safety pins. Not ideal, but it works.

I had a spare pair of black jeans, button down light blue shirt and a plain bow tie that I just ended up cel shading.

The only item that I really couldn’t figure out was the purple frock coat. Try as I might, I couldn’t find one to modify. So the coat was actually made by my friend Heather Long. I did alter the length after NYCC. 

With the clothes themselves all set, for the most part anyay, it was time to paint. This was my first time trying to recreate the art style of Borderlands, often referred to as cel shading. I have a few “art of Borderlands” style books that I poured over before I sat down to attempt this.

Other than the accessories and anything leather, I used the same materials and techniques for each article of clothing. Instead of describing each seprate piece, I’ll just explain what I did to achieve the overall look.

When you look at a Borderlands character on screen, it can be a bit overwhelming. So many colors, and so many nuances of each color. I did my best to visually sift through all that, and try to establish what I thought was the base color.

Once the base color was determined, I just added blotches, blobs, shading, low lights, highlights and other variations of the base color itself throughout each piece. I recommend keeping your fabric wrinkled and using those wrinkle as guidlenes for where the lines and shading would fall naturally.

Once all of that dried, I then went over different sections of the fabric with white and black lines. To get that crisp, almost comic book looking outline of each piece I used black sharpie, and white fabric pens as well as white fabric paint.

When I sat down to do the coat, I wanted something a little different than just cel shading. During a second playthrough of Tales from the Borderlands, I noticed Rhys and other characters had interesting logos and designs on the back of their jackets. I ended up putting a chessboard pattern on the back as a homage to the chess game between the 11th Doctor and Mr. Clever in the episode.

Great shot of the chess board and my Judd Nelson pose

The materials that I used for all of the clothing items were craft paints that I had around the house. Any brand works, but I prefer Americana paints. I then added an additive that you use to make the paint water proof and used various sized brushes. Dry brushes are also very useful if you have them.

Black sharpies of different sizes and any fabric markers are also very helpful. Heat setting is required to make the paint waterpfoof, so if you mess up before you add sharpies, you can wash the clothes and start over.

A few tips if you decide to undertake cel shading clothing: Until now I hadn’t noticed that there aren’t many thing in Borderlands that are true black. Due to the art style most things that appear black are in reality shades of grey, with a grey base colr. This makes it easier to add the lines, shading, and what not.  Looking back, I should have bought GREY clothes. It was a ton of work to make the pants look like they were a mixture of greys. And as a result of so many laers of paint, they are stiff, lost their stretch and feel an entire size smaller! So I would recommend grey fabric as a base for black clothing and buy a size larger.

The pants are so stiff that I think they will stand up on their own

This entire process was way more fun than I thought it would be and I’ve since become addicted to cel shading anything I can. I may or may not have started cel shading my guest room. 

After the clothing was finished, I started on some accessories and props. The first being the easiet – a wee little cybermite that I cel shaded. My cosplay of Mr. Clever always has a cybermite on my lapel, so I took one of my older ones and repainted it.

You can’t have a Borderlands character without some sort of weapon, so I painted a nerf gun that looks similar to the one that Clara Oswald holds in the episode.

I have never had to carry a gun for my Mr. Clever cosplay before so weapon checks are sort of new to me. I didn’t want to go through that at NYCC so I came up with a clever, no pun intended, way around it.

I took a photo of each side of the gun. Went to Staples and had them printed on heavy cardstock. Then I cut around the guns, glued them together between a piece of cardboard then added some black electical tape around the edges.  Viola. Instant weapons check approved gun that is lightweight, and also acts a fan when it gets hot. It was a huge hit at the con. A few security guards were like “ we have to check your…wait..is that flat?” And they proceeded to play with it. I highly recommend doing this!

Gun and its flat counterpart

I am holding the flat gun in this picture from NYCC

In the actual game, you can equip your characters with mods that give them certain abilities and bonuses. In the Pre-Sequel, you can play as a Dopplganger of Handsome Jack so I searched for some of his mods and found one in purple which seemed perfect. I made the mod with cardboard, covered it in craft foam, modge podge to set, and installed led lights. The first time I wore it I put it on my belt which didn’t work. It kept falling off. I eventually put it on my lapel and wore it like Jack does. Unfortunately, someone glomped on me at a con and broke it, so I recently had to remake it all over again.

No Borderlands costume would be complete without cel shading on yourself. This was a huge challenge for me for a few reasons. One, I’m visually impaired so doing line work like this was challenging. Two, I am highly allergic to so many materials and ingrediants that finding a make up brand that I could wear was a trial and error process that ended up with many break outs and rashes before I found the perfect combination.

I used mostly eye liner pencils and liquid eye liner to achieve the look. The Wet n Wild liquid eye liner lasts forever, and is actually difficult to remove, but that is not a bad thing as it stood up to the heat of a very crowded venue.

As for the cel shading itself, I relied on many refernce photos of various characters in the game. I started with the eyebrows first as that seemed to frame the face nicely and give me a nice mischvieous look. I then just outlined the bones of my face, adding some random lines here and there. It never looks the same way twice, but that’s ok. Playing with different angles, lines, shading etc is half the fun!

The only real challenge were my hands. The make up didn’t last that long on my hands so I had to touch it up throughout the con. I also eventually started to use band aids that I cel sahded to cover up a tattoo on my inner wrist.

Figuring what to do with my hair is an on going process that I still haven’t 100% mastered. I opted to not use a foam wig as I have over heating issues on a cool day let alone trying to wear one if it gets warmer. I have had adverse reactions to craft foam in the past, so I don’t want it touching my skin, and lastly, I think a wig AND a facial prosthetic would be too much for me. So I decided to just cel shade my hair.

This takes forever to do, and I’m still figuring out better techniques every time I wear it.

I have a really great brand of colored gel, called Mofajang which I apply with a baster brush that you would find in the kitchen gadgets aisle. I also use a clean mascara brush to add some finer lines here and there. Set with way more hair spray than I ever used in the 80’s and it becomes fairly waterproof.

I have learned that due to how hard the make up and hair color is to remove, I really need to wear this on the LAST day of a con. I made the mistake of wearing it on day one of Long Island Who one year, and spent hours scrubbing my skin and hair for the next day. Far better to just leave the con with a tad bit of left over cel shading. Which makes it very interesting when you stop at a roadside bathroom on the trip home.

With the entire costume done it was time to work on the actual cyberplanner appliance. 

Next time I make a variation of Clever, I will make this FIRST. Making these pieces is the bane of my existence – I love wearing them, hate making them.  It’s a long process.

I am allergic to latex, silocone, scuply, most clays, and so many other things that seem to be every cosplayers go-to. When I made my first cyber piece back in late 2013, I spent weeks trying to find a substance that would keep attached to my face all day without causing a rash. Like an alchemist in a fantasy novel, I submerged myself into creating the perfect concoction. It took 22 days to finish the final product.

I admit that I rushed a bit on the Borderlands one.  As a result, it doesn’t quite fit as well as my others, and is a bit heavier than I expected. I only added two working lights, instead of the usual four, to hopefully balance the piece out. It lasted through two full days of a con, despite the heat of a crowded venue, but I did end up tweaking it a bit after. Even with the tweaks, it still doesn’t fit as well as I would like. It is too heavy and brings down the entire left side of my face, making it difficult to keep my eye open at times. I really need to sit down and force myself to make a new one.

There are a few more things that I would like to add to this costume eventually. Like a belt of grenades, and maybe another gun. But aside from that, I am incredibly pleased with how this costume turned out. It is by far, my favorite Clever variation that I have done.

I hope this post gives you the inspiration to go off and cel shade something, and possibly even play some Borderlands!

[bluecatstory]

The fortunate one - Chapter 2

The continuation & end to this. Thank you for reading! 

Boy met a tea kettle genie. Unfortunately, this wish-granting genie did not get to grant a single wish. This is an AU 100% based on Neil Gaiman’s The October Tale. Also, the main pairing here is GoYuu (Gojo Satoru/Itadori Yuuji), so please click back if you don’t like it. 

---

It was a lovely day for a stroll through the town. The weather was cool but fair, and green leaves flurried on the trees as the gentle breeze blew by.  

People were out and about, scurrying with their life. But if you pay attention to the crowd, you would see a strange pair. A pink-haired boy was walking together with a tall, lanky man. The handsome man was still young, maybe in his 20s, but his hair was white from the roots. His outfit even made it stick out more, all black with sunglasses. 

They were having a somewhat lively conversation. 

“So tell me more about yourself, Yuuji. I want to get to know you more.” 

“What do you want to know?”

“Your likes, dislikes, dreams, family, just anything!” Gojo grinned playfully. His current master of the tea kettle, by far, was the most intriguing. He wanted to know what kind of person was Yuuji Itadori, who claimed to be perfectly content with his life. 

And Yuuji, like the honest boy he was, told Gojo of his family: his parents passed away in a car accident when he was just a toddler, how his gramps raised him by himself, and he also passed away recently, having left him the house. Yuuji told him about his job: how he was a kindergarten teacher who had gained his reputation among the school for cat drawings. He told him he also taught basic drawing at the local community once a week. 

“Ah, but have you ever wished to be more than that? With your physique, you would make a great athlete. Or model! I mean, look at those legs.”

Red crept up his face. Yuuji smiled sheepishly. 

“Thanks… I guess. But you know, I admit there were tough times. Imagine one accidentally smuggled candies in the class, and the whole 20 would go bonkers. And the parents would just scream at you for everything. But I’m making a difference in the kids’ life. Witnessing them discovering things and eagerly telling you about them. It’s rewarding, and I feel happy every day going to work. “

Yuuji’s smile was so beaming that Gojo felt blinded by it. Ok, so scratch work. He might need to dig into other areas. 

“Now it’s your turn, Mr. Cryptic genie. Tell me more about yourself.” 

“Hmm, you only need to know that I’m the strongest genie that can make your wish come true. Hey, we’re here! Can we buy some cheesecake? I’ll carry the groceries for you.” Gojo pointed to the cakes on the shelves and dashed away, leaving Yuuji standing confused at the door. 

Yuuji snickered at the childlike man. 

--- 

“How about friends? Lovers? You have one?”

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m talking to a police officer who’s doing a yearly census, not a 1000-year-old genie with a desperate need to please people.” Yuuji sighed as he unpacked his grocers in the fridge. 

“Excuse me, I’m only 966. And I ask because it’s my job. Kids these days…” The genie wiped the invisible tears from his eyes. 

“Ok, ok. Don’t cry.” Yuuji lightly patted his head. Being with the genie for a while, he realized Gojo had a dramatic side to him that sought attention. 

He told Gojo that no, he was not dating anyone now. His best friends were Megumi and Nobara. That they had stood with him since high school, through good and bad times. That Megumi was a grumpy yet caring dog whisperer with 2 adorable, fluffy, smart dogs. That Nobara was a strong-willed woman working her way through the modeling world. And they always made time to catch up on the weekend despite a hectic schedule. 

“Hmm, I see.” Gojo said thoughtfully. There were really no holes in Yuuji’s life to be fulfilled by wishes. Except one. 

“You know, I can see that your life is good. But you are missing someone to share that life with you. Wish, and you’ll get the perfect woman. Or man.“

“No need. I’m good.”

“Are you?” 

“Yes. I’ve got everything I need.” Yuuji patted the genie’s head lightly as an assurance. 

“So what do I do now?” 

Yuuji thought for a moment. Then he pointed to the garden. 

“Can you help me tend the plants?”

“Sure! Is it your wish?” Gojo said excitedly. 

“Nah. Something you can help while I make dinner.”

So Gojo tended the plants. Then, after dinner, he helped Yuuji wash the dishes. The list of things Gojo helped Yuuji gradually grew. He ran errands for him, picking up sweets and office supplies for the school. He helped Yuuji planned surprises for his class, joining his local art class as an assistant. And sometimes, when Yuuji was tired, he gave him an excellent massage with his big, strong hands. 

It was not that Yuuji wanted help. But he let Gojo help. 

As time passed, Gojo moved out of the spare bedroom and ended up in Yuuji’s bed. 

---

They were lying on the bed, hands holding each other. Gojo silently watched Yuuji as the sunlight crept on his youthful face, aligning his parted lips. As Gojo was gently brushing a strain of hair away, his lover opened his eyes, and he smiled at him. 

“Mhh…morning.”

“Morning to you, too.” The genie smiled back, lovingly. 

Yuuji stared at him just as he was in a trance. 

“Your eyes… so pretty.” His bright smile struck Gojo, time and time again. Yes, this was the sight he wanted to see every day. His beloved Yuuji wrapped up in his arms, smiling and looking at him and him only. 

“Is this why you always wear blindfolds or sunglasses?”

“Well, a genie would say that because his magical eyes can see everything, so covering them up is a way for him to not know too much. But I would say that those baby blues are only reserved for you.” 

The pink-haired boy’s laugh got muffled by Gojo’s sudden kiss. 

“Hey, I’m wondering… What if it was you who were granted 3 wishes? What would you wish for?” 

Gojo thought for a moment.

“Nah, I’m good.” He told Yuuji. “I’ve got everything I need.” 

---

Gojo was perplexed when he met Yuuji. The boy was weird in every aspect, genetically pink haired with tiger markings, refusing his granted 3 wishes, and insisting his life was enough. For almost 1000 years as a genie, he knew people would always want something. 

Gojo was not a benevolent being. As he appeared before the boy, the genie thought he would just grant him 3 wishes and take his life in return, just like his predecessors. Those greedy, low-life scums would just scream and beg him to spare them. But what was done was done. Oh, how he reveled in their blood and shrieking soul. That was why he got sealed in the fucking tea kettle. Killing too much, the gods said. 

The genie chuckled. 

But Yuuji, his beloved, his eternal sunshine, was different from them. From wanting to know more about him, he started to fall for the boy. His fluffy hair that never seemed to be tamed, his bright, bright smile that made Gojo’s chest hurt, his well-built body that he could not stop planting more kisses on every inch of it, and how he did everything with much passion. 

Gojo loved everything about Yuuji. And now, with him in his arms, he would not let him go. No matter what.

End.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Neil Gaiman, I write to say you have ruined me; again. Four times in my life I have been utterly and hopelessly rotted and ruined and consumed by your work. First was when I was 4 and first watched Coraline, I didn't even know who you were and couldn't conceive it either way back then; but I remember watching the movie so much until the disc scratched, and making my mum buy me a coraline doll and lalaloopsy dolls that reminded me of it. Then when I was 12, when season one of good omens came out, and I immediately found out it was a book (WHAT?? IT'S A BOOK?? I NEED TO READ IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-)(I read it), and it was all I could find myself speaking about for months. This year when season 2 came out, I was absolutely heartbroken, and this altered my brain in a way I had never even dreamed possible; everything clicked that the common denominator in making me go insane was *you*, so I followed you on tumblr and everywhere I could and I made it my life's mission to read more of your books. First, as soon as I could, I read The Neil Gaiman Reader in two days and it was SO GOOD (and returned it to the library as soon as I finished), and I knew instantly I had to get The Ocean At The End Of The Lane. Only trouble is, where I live has basically no books, of anyone's, ever, so I searched probably five different bookshops until I found it and I immediately got it. I wasn't allowed to read it till Christmas though. Then Christmas day came, the day I had hyped up in my head for so long, simply because I got to read this book, so in one sitting on Christmas, I read the ocean at the end of the lane. I think I have found a new obsession to occupy my brain. How do you write all of these things? How do you inspire these feelings? I feel like you have a kind of magic to you. I have spent basically the whole day since googling everything I can about this novel (and hoping, wishing and praying that the play will return and come to Western Australia some day), but now I have the VERY URGENT request of answering my questions please please please pretty please. 1) What are some things you wish people knew about The Ocean At The End Of The Lane that they don't know already? 2)What are questions that you want people to ask about it, but haven't yet? 3) Where did you get all of the magic and emotion and EVERYTHING encapsulated those pages? - Yours sincerely, an extremely obsessed high school senior.

Dear E.O.H.S.S.

I'm really happy it had that effect on you. Now we both have to hope that the National Theatre adaptation of The Ocean at the End of the Lane gets revived and makes it to Australia, because most of your questions are sort of answered in the play.

[wondereads]

Personal Review (07/25/21)

Mister Monday by Garth Nix

Why am I recommending this book?

I started this series in around sixth grade and never finished it. Well, there's no time like the present! As I'm rereading it, it's becoming more and more clear to me why this book should never be put in the children's section.

Want something short and sweet? Check out my tiktok

Plot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

After starting at a new school, Arthur Penhaligon nearly dies of an asthma attack during his first PE class. By all accounts, he should have died right then and there. The only reason he lives is a key shaped like a minute hand. Tricked into handing it over, the Minute Hand is one-half of one of the Keys to the Kingdom, the one owned by Mister Monday. The Will of the Architect has chosen Arthur as the Heir, so Arthur must now venture into the House and retrieve the other half of the key if he wishes to save his family and friends.

Confusing, right? Essentially, the Architect, this book's take on God, built the Secondary Realms (i.e. Earth) and the House to record what happens there. Then she disappeared leaving seven Trustees, named after the days of the week, to perform her Will. Of course, the Trustees did no such thing, took over the House, and started meddling in the Secondary Realms, and now it's Arthur's duty to put a stop to it all, a rather lofty calling for an eighth-grader. Given that this is the first book, it has quite a bit of exposition and worldbuilding. Despite that, it's very fast-paced, and there are plenty of questions left for the next books. The concept itself is pretty original, and it's executed quite well. Though to be completely honest, I would've been happy to just read about the history of the House, no plot required. The obstacles presented to Arthur, such as the Nithlings, the Old One, and the bibliophages, are all such original and interesting concepts. The world itself is enthralling, and the story moves fast enough to keep you engage.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Arthur himself is a very typical sort of eighth-grader when presented with this situation. He wants to fix the problems the House has brought to his world and then go home, as he finds it all rather terrifying. He doesn't really get much development in this book, but you can tell that's he's going to change in the following ones, whether he likes it or not.

Leaf and Ed were such interesting characters. I felt like they had quite a bit of potential, but they were sidelined very quickly; I hope they get some of the spotlight later in the series. Suzy, on the other hand, was just as interesting and got a lot of attention. I loved her backstory, which is based on the myth of the Pied Piper, and she went through some emotional turmoil there. Her bravery and (eventual) loyalty to Arthur are admirable, and I was very happy with where she ended up by the end of the book.

Now, for my personal favorite, the Will. One of the parts of the Architect's Will, it's technically a swirl of type that possesses people and objects to speak through them. Throughout most of the book, it inhabits a jade frog. The Will is a very exasperated mentor to Arthur, and, even though I don't find it very trustworthy, I did thoroughly enjoy its personality.

Not all of the characters got development (there's only so much you can fit in a 300-page book with 16 pt font), but everyone Arthur interacted with from Monday to Dusk to Pravuil had incredibly evocative personalities that are very easy to pick up on.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

If I had to compare this writing style to something, it would be like a mix between Neil Gaiman and Douglas Adams. Specifically, like if Good Omens and A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy had a child. The matter-of-fact narration, the ostentatious names, and the concept, in general, comes together very well. Also, Mr. Nix, if you ever happen to read this, please know that I would pay handsomely for a map of the House. Please.

Overall 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

This book is actually so much better than I remember. I think it would work perfectly as a gateway book when readers are getting bored with children's books but aren't quite ready for the content of YA books. Though confusing at first, which I believe is the point, the worldbuilding and concept of this book are absolutely top-notch, and, although Arthur didn't get as much development as I would've liked, the characters are likable and engaging. I will definitely be plowing through this series. I would recommend this book to people who enjoy fantasy, chosen by circumstance, and Neil Gaiman or Douglas Adams.

The Author

Garth Nix: 57, Australian, the Old Kingdom series, The Seventh Tower series, and The Left-Handed Booksellers of London

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions. 

Penny Dreadful 

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite.  I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite. 

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read: 

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least. 

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie. 

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.) 

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.  

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore. 

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.) 

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find! 

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines. 

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history. 

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing. 

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him. 

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby. 

Misc. 

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him) 

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man) 

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.) 

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time) 

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.) 

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. 

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans. 

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now! 

[atlasishere]

I Bake Sins Not Tragedies pt. 1

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Janus, Remy, Emile

Relationships: Analogical(eventually), Royality (in progress), Dukeceit(background), Remile(background)

Word Count: 7568 

A/N: I wrote most of this before the newest Sanders Sides video, so if Janus’ name is incorrect, sorry, let me know if it is.

Taglist: @normallyaspen @watchoutforthefanfics @superwholocked-for-life (if you wanna tagged when the next part is uploaded or whenever I write, let me know)

 Virgil “woke up” at 6:00, meaning that he snoozed his 6:00 alarm until 6:30 when he had to get up for work. He got up, put on his black jeans, purple shirt with long sleeves that would end up getting rolled up, and grabbed his hoodie. He walked into his kitchen and grabbed the pizza from about two nights ago and ate it cold. He put on his converse and walked to his bakery, arriving at 6:45 with just enough time to set up before his first customers walked in. He went through his day, making his baked goods, jamming to his emo music, eternally grateful to his brother, Patton, willingly helped him run his bakery. 

Logan woke up at 6:00 sharp, got dressed in jeans and a black short-sleeved polo, gelled his hair back, and ate a simple breakfast of cereal and eggs. He read a book until 7:30 when he left to go open the tattoo parlor he worked at. 

These two men lived their lives separately until one fateful day. Virgil had decided he wanted to get a new tattoo, something simple. He had considered getting something in remembrance of MCR but he already had one. He already had a flower for his dad, a Starbucks cup with sunglasses for his ren, and a blue heart with glasses for his brother. Along with that, he had some lyrics from “Na Na Na” by MCR. So Virgil went through the things that are important to him and decided to look up symbols for them. He had found a couple of ideas and sketched them. As he was doing this, he looked at his copy of Coraline on the bookshelf across from him, and inspiration hit. He sketched two black buttons and a spool of thread and called his brother out, “Yo, Patton. Come look at this tattoo idea.” 

Patton walked out, looked at it, said, “I like it, what’s the inspiration?”

“Coraline, the buttons were supposed to take her to this life of ‘happiness’ but it would have led to more pain and she discovered that her own life wasn’t as bad as she thought. It was all about her perspective,” Virgil shared, having clearly thought this through as he sketched it.

“I like it. Where would you put it, dear sibling?” Patton asked.

“Well, somewhere I would see it daily. Also, I use ‘they and he’ pronouns so no need to use sibling,” Virgil answered, “Heck if you wanted to use ‘she’ I wouldn’t complain. When I came out, I said I am indifferent to pronouns.”

“I know sib, but I like using the more neutral pronouns, a habit I picked up from Remy for a parental unit,” Patton countered. 

“Fair point, but with my fluctuating gender, it’s kinda pointless,” Virgil argued.

“Oh freaking well, deal with it,” Patton said, ending the argument, knowing that Virgil wasn’t irritated.

Virgil decided that he needed to put his stuff away and get back behind the counter and help his brother. 

A full day of baking, serving teens and college students, and cleaning up, Virgil walked home. As he did so, he was paying close attention to his surroundings, looking for tattoo parlors that he could look into. As he was walking, Virgil saw a sign for a tattoo parlor and decided to check it out. 

Logan heard the bell above the door of the tattoo parlor where he worked ring and looked up to see a man dressed in black jeans, a light purple top, and a patched hoodie. As the man approached, Logan decided to partake in his favorite activity, at least while at work, guessing their tattoo, he guessed it was probably song lyrics from one of those emo bands. It turns out that Logan would be pleasantly surprised. 

“Hi, I am new in town and looking for parlors to get this tattoo that I want. I was curious if you had any examples of some of the work that you guys do,” the man asked, with a deep, smooth voice that caught Logan off guard.

“We have several artists with different specialties, so it depends on what you want. Do you have a picture or sketch of what you want?” Logan asked, keeping it professional but giddy to figure out if he was right.

The man pulled out a square piece of paper and said, “It’s not super complex,” Logan stared at the spool of thread and black buttons as the man continued, “It’s based on the book “Coraline” by Neil Gaiman.”

So, Logan was wrong, “I mean most of us could do that but I like to think I am the most qualified.”

“Got any examples of your work?” the man asked cheekily.

Logan decided to get his best friend up here who happened to let Logan do all of his tattoos, “Roman get your lazy ass up here!”

“Lose again specs?” Roman asked as he got up.

The man looked confused and Logan decided to change the subject quickly and said, “Show this customer some of my work please.”

“If you wanted me shirtless, all you had to do was ask,” Roman countered as he removed his shirt to show the tattoos. There weren’t many but the ones appeared to be sentimental and detailed. 

“I may be pansexual, but I am not desperate,” Logan said, continuing the banter.

“Wow, rude, and in front of this fine young person too,” Roman said, pretending to be hurt.

“Well, they probably didn’t want to see your chest either, but you refuse to get them anywhere but your back and chest,” Logan countered, clearly noticing the way Roman had glanced at the bracelet on the customer’s wrist that said he/they. They looked surprised that someone had noticed that.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to ruin my wonderful arms or legs, Mr. Andy Hurley,” Roman said, attempting to defend his honor.

“I’ll take that as a compliment since Andy Harley is a very attractive man and I do enjoy a good amount of Fall Out Boy,” Logan countered.

Roman scoffed as Logan turned to the customer and said, “I guess I should introduce myself, formally. I am Logan Croft.”

The man smiled and shook Logan’s outstretched hand firmly as he replied, “I am Virgil.”

“I would like to apologize for my fiend, I mean friend, he gets quite excitable at times,” Logan said as he glared at his friend.

“Actually, I like your work and wouldn’t mind getting my tattoo here. May I make an appointment?” Virgil asked.

Logan looked astonished as he said, “Sure, when would you like to?”

“I don’t work until later on Saturday, would that work?” Virgil asked.

“Yes it will,” Logan answered.

Virgil nodded then gave a quick wave goodbye as he left. Logan watched the door close and turned his head to see Roman with that impish look he got. 

“You like him!” Roman shrieked.

“No, too soon to tell,” Logan said, “Also what happened to ‘they’?”

“His bracelet said, ‘He/They’. Also, if not yet, soon. I mean he’s cute so I understand but not my style,” Roman said, “I mean his brother’s pretty cute and comes to my pharmacy and I’ve had my eye on him for a bit.”

“You know his brother?” Logan asked.

“Well, they own that emo themed bakery up the street from the pharmacy where I work,” Roman shared.

Logan took Roman’s statement as food for thought as he left the parlor, waving at his coworker goodbye. He walked home and thought about the customer who had come in so close to the end of his shift. Logan didn’t necessarily believe in soulmates, fate, or chance since there was no scientific proof but he also had an emotional side and hope. Soon after he thought this, Logan’s logical side won over and said that there was no reason other than the obvious convenient coincidence. He entered his simple apartment, grateful that his roommates weren’t home. He started cooking dinner, which was almost finished as his roommates, Roman and his twin brother Remus, walked in. Roman had gone to get Remus since Roman had used their car to get to work so he had to drop off and pick up Remus. Roman’s job was farther out than Logan’s and Remus’ who couldn’t walk to work either. It was a weird set up but they shared a car since neither of them had the money for a second car. Logan didn’t have a car either, he was saving up his money to pay off his loans and hopefully to find a good job somewhere science-related. As the twins dropped their stuff off at the door, Remus was talking about his job at the zoo and the newest animal exhibit there. Logan looked at the very chaotic person who enjoyed handling the animals. His brother, however, was clearly ready to tell his own work story. To prevent a fight, Logan said, “Hey, set the table boys.”

“Okay mom,” Roman said, chuckling. Logan had learned that Roman and Remus thought of him as a motherly figure. 

They sat down for dinner as Roman talked about how his day at the pharmacy went, “Someone who was a regular, came in for their antidepressants and had said, please remember I am paraphrasing, ‘Do you have the potion that shall help me, O’ wise mage’ to which I said a simple yes. They responded with, ‘I thank thee, no curse shall leave my lips that will torment you’. They left the Walgreen’s and I realized that was fairly normal for me. Anyway, Logan, got any good stories besides that cute emo coming in?”

Logan would never admit this to anyone, but some blood rose to his neck as he responded, “No my day was normal, including the man from the bakery. However, I seem to remember something about a cute brother that works with him from you Roman.”

Remus snickered as he watched his two roommates who were definitely crushing pretty hard. He was glad that he was behind those days, having a boyfriend and all. 

That night, Virgil walked home to his apartment that he shared with his old college roommate, Janus, who was making spaghetti for their dinner that night. Virgil set the box on the table that held some “Hey Youngblood” thumbprint cookies from their bakery. Janus looked at the box, pointed a spatula at it as if to ask the contents. Virgil answered the unasked question, “Thumbprint cookies, made with Crofters. And no, I am not calling the cookies by their name because I say it enough at work.”

Janus smiled as he responded, “Well maybe you should reevaluate your decisions then.”

“How about no. I like my bakery as it is, I just kinda regret letting Pat choose the names for the baked goods. By the way, he hasn’t named everything on the menu,” Virgil confessed.

“Should you talk to him? Is it that big of a problem?” Janus asked, genuinely concerned for his friend.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it gets a little annoying at times. His puns are super clever though so it’s honestly all good,” Virgil answered, truthfully, recognizing the look on their roommate’s face.

Janus nodded, believing his roommate, as he served the spaghetti. The two sat down to eat when they heard a knock at the door. Virgil got up and checked to see who it was, it was his brother Patton. Virgil opened the door to let him in and as soon as he crossed the threshold Patton exclaimed, “I fucked up real bad. I mean really bad.”

Virgil sighed, probably had to do with the cute pharmacist that stopped by their bakery. Not that Virgil could complain since he usually did the same with Patton but if it was the same person, Virgil thought he might scream. But before he could, Patton continued with his story. 

“So you know the pharmacist who comes in on occasion, well I was at the drugstore where he works and I was unaware that I was speaking with him. So I said, ‘I seek the cure to the darkness in my brain’ and he went through the normal stuff and I had to continue being normal so I responded with, ‘I thank thee, no curse of mine shall harm you’ and now I definitely ruined any chances with him.”

“Patton, I am sure that if he would’ve dated you, he would have been exposed to you and you’re, sometimes, eccentric qualities. I am sure everything will end up being okay,” Virgil said, attempting to comfort their brother. 

“And if it is necessary, I can and will murder,” Janus chimed in, unwelcomely.

“Says the lawyer who prosecutes murder cases,” Virgil quips while making the universal sign for shut the fuck up, the middle finger. 

Janus stayed quiet while Virgil worked on reassuring his brother. Eventually, Patton nodded and appeared to have calmed down. When Virgil invited him to stay for dinner, Patton had turned down the offer since he needed to head upstairs to talk to his roommate since he hadn’t been home.

Virgil sat down at the table with his roommate as Janus’ phone received a notification. Virgil could tell from the look on his friend’s face that it was Janus’ boyfriend texting him. 

“Share the news, Janus, I know you are dying to,” Virgil said as he looked at his plate of spaghetti.

The lawyer smiled as he said, “Well, Roman, the brother of Remus, has started an incorrect quotes blog that is just Remus quotes and conversations.”

Virgil laughed and said, “Can you get the URL, I need to know what this man you are dating is like because you never seem to bring him around.”

Janus texted Remus and got a response fairly quickly. After being told what it was, Virgil grabbed his laptop and looked it up. As he read through the posts and showed Janus a few, he asked, “Is this what he is always like?”

“Yeah, he has his moments of being calm or more chaotic, but this is his usual act,” Janus responded.

The two laughed for a bit at the quotes when Virgil said, “I think the guy that Patton is infatuated with is named Roman.”

“Oh yeah, it is. That is, in fact, the same Roman, and yes, he is also very infatuated with Patton apparently,” Janus responded as he put his phone away and began to eat.

Virgil pondered this new information for a bit and eventually, he began to think about the Roman he met in the tattoo parlor, which in turn, led to him thinking about the guy, Logan. Logically, Virgil knew that he wouldn’t see him after he got his tattoo but part of him was drawn to the man. 

Virgil remained lost in his thoughts until, being the absolute angel that he is, Janus smacked Virgil on the back of the head. Virgil was still jolting as he got out of his chair, ready to fight Janus, and like two siblings fighting over the remote, they both ended up on the ground wrestling. 

After a few minutes of fighting, Janus finally asks, “So what was on your mind?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking,” Virgil said.

“Uh-huh, sure, I think it’s because you have a crush,” Janus teased as he watched his friend attempt to stutter out a response.

Finally able to speak clearly, Virgil said, "Actually, it's not. I was thinking about that tattoo I wanted to get." Virgil hoped that Janus would buy his half-lie and not see the nervous tapping or blood flowing up to his neck.

Janus knew Virgil wasn’t being completely honest, he ate the lies of criminals for breakfast, but he could also read the room and knew this was not the time, so he dropped it. Finally, at ease, Virgil continued their conversation and the two talked until it was close to 10:00.

On Saturday morning, Virgil made sure that their brother had someone to work with him during the day until Virgil was done at the parlor. Since it was confirmed, Virgil got up and dressed in a tank top and open flannel, aware that he would need a looser item of clothing on top of his tattoo. Virgil ate breakfast, left his house, and started towards the tattoo parlor. 

Once they entered, Logan looked up to see who was at the door. His heart was hoping for Virgil and his head was telling him that it shouldn't matter. But it was Virgil and a war started inside of him. His head won, which was smart since Logan would be doing permanent needlepoint on their skin. 

Logan took them back and prepped the needle and Virgil's skin. 

As the needle was buzzing, Virgil appeared to be scrolling Tumblr on their phone as Logan did his job. He tried to refrain from paying attention to Virgil's muscle mass and focused on the project.

After several hours, Logan finished the tattoo and gave Virgil the care instructions. They waved as they left the parlor and headed to their bakery.

Virgil walked into his bakery and was bombarded with questions from their brother. "How did it go? Do you like it? Are you feeling okay?"

Virgil held up their hand and said, "It went well considering I got needlepoint on my skin, I haven't looked since it's on my shoulder, and yes I am okay."

Suddenly Virgil was being dragged to a bathroom by his brother so he could see it as well as Patton. 

Once inside, the light was turned on and Virgil slipped the flannel off of his shoulder. The tattoo looked really good and Virgil was impressed. They walked out of the bathroom, brother in tow, put his uniform on, and washed his hands. 

Throughout the day, the bakery had a steady stream of customers who enjoyed the food, puns, and music. Near the end of the day, Virgil was surprised to see Logan, the tattoo artist, walk through the door. He walked up to the counter as he appeared to scan the menu. As he arrived at the counter, Virgil gave his standard, “Hello, Welcome to I Bake Sins, not Tragedies, How can I help you today?”

Logan smirked and asked, “What are the ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookies?”

“Well, they are a jam thumbprint cookie filled with Crofter’s jam, we have strawberry and blackberry jam,” Virgil answered, trying to use his customer voice he had picked up over the years of working in the real world. 

Logan nodded then said, “Could I please have a ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookie then and a coffee.”

Virgil nodded, took Logan’s money, made his change, and began preparing his order. It wasn’t complex, the cookies had been baked recently and coffee was in a pot, so it took but five minutes to complete. As he brought it out to Logan, he gestured to where the cream and sugar were kept for their customers to use on their own. They had found it to be more convenient and easier. Virgil watched as Logan found a seat at a table and pulled a book from the shelf behind him. Virgil continued to work and serve customers for a while when he noticed that Logan had left, it wasn’t a problem since he had figured where the mugs needed to be returned, but part of Virgil was upset nonetheless.

Logan walked out of the bakery and walked back to the parlor. The bakery was very nice, the music was loud enough to be heard but wasn’t disruptive, their food was very good and Logan desired to find this Crofter’s jam, there was a good selection of books for the customers to read as they sat down, and the aesthetic was less dark but still held to the inspiration. Logan found himself enjoying the Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco puns on the food. He definitely was adding the place to his list of good places to eat at. He conveniently was skipping over the cute enby at the register. That can of worms was not going to be opened. He entered the parlor and saw that Roman was there. “Hey, Eliot, can you take out the trash?” Logan said, gesturing to Roman.

The man at the front desk, Eliot, smiled, and said, “Sorry, I thought that was your job.”

Logan smirked and responded, “Oh yeah, It is.” 

As Logan started to meander towards Roman, the pharmacist definitely looked a little fearful as Logan chuckled, "I was joking with you Roman."

"I am well aware, Specs but it wasn't very nice. Just thought that you confused me for Remus," Roman responded, trying to save his dignity.

"What a vibe check Roman," Logan said, aware the slang was incorrect but also had stopped trying with slang. Roman's face made it worth the lack of education Logan had.

"A what now?!?!? That is so wrong. I really can't believe you just said that " Roman exclaimed, continuing to rant about how Logan doesn't know slang.

Logan chuckled as he watched his friend continue to passionately rant about something as trivial as slang.   

The next week went by fairly routinely for the group. Logan worked at the parlor and occasionally stopped by the bakery with the attractive emo worker, Virgil would work and occasionally see the cute tattoo artist, Patton worked with brother and would attempt and fail to keep it together when a certain pharmacist would come in every day, and Roman would continue his daily routine of stopping in to get breakfast and see the adorable baker. Somewhere in the course of the week, Roman had slipped Patton his phone number, platonically, of course, and that sparked a conversation and eventually friendship between the two.

Virgil and Logan did not interact that much but were slowly becoming comfortable with each other’s presence. They would have a casual conversation when Logan would come in and on occasion, Logan would happen to ask about books that Virgil had. They kinda wanted to talk to Logan more, but it’s kinda hard when a guy comes in right at the time that high school students get out of school. 

But that week was done and the weekend was bringing a special surprise, the arrival of Virgil and Patton’s parents. 

It was Friday night, a mere twenty minutes before closing and the bakery was empty. Virgil and Patton had a little bit of extra bread dough from the day. It was only about the size of a fist and well, Virgil had technically started it. He had tossed it and ended up throwing it at his brother. Patton received the dough splat on the back of his head and turned to see his sheepish sibling looking incredibly nervous. Patton smiled and tossed it back to him. Virgil caught it and chuckled. The game slowly got bigger as Virgil and Patton ended up outside the kitchen and in the main area. They continued for a few more minutes when suddenly the doors opened and in walked Emile and Remy, the parents of the two bakers. 

And like children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, they froze and went to finger-pointing. Emile chuckled and held his hands up and Patton tossed the ball to his dad. 

“Think fast dear,” Emile told his partner as he threw the dough to Remy.

Remy caught the dough and smiled. They tossed it to their child and the game continued for a few more minutes until some late-night closer customers came in.

“C’mon, I need to see Patton and you wouldn’t mind seeing Virgil. Their bakery doesn’t close for a  whole 15 minutes,” Roman whined.

“I am aware and no I wouldn’t mind but it is late. One of us needs to be the voice of reason here,” Logan said, not wanting to admit how much he kind of wanted to see a particular baker.

“There is no reason not to,” Roman argued.

Logan would blame it on the fact that he was tired and not because he was giving in to the want to see someone who may not even be attracted to men as he acquiesced to Roman’s request, “Fine, Roman. Let me grab my jacket and we can walk there since Remus took the car when he dropped you off.”

The two walked to the bakery. When they arrived, they saw four people tossing something and smiling. Logan assumed they were laughing. As he looked, he saw Virgil and from the look on Roman’s face, could assume that Patton was in there as well. However, Logan felt a little preoccupied with Virgil and their existence. Their face was a little flushed and they were smiling as they threw what appeared to be bread dough. 

Eventually, Logan snapped out of his trance and realized that he was definitely gay for this nonbinary emo baker. He also made the snap decision that the other two, older, adults were likely family. Logan was going to tap Roman on the shoulder and tell him that they should just head home, but, Roman’s hand was on the doorknob and was opening the door. 

Well, Logan would argue that he had to join his friend and walked in. He was greeted with what was becoming a familiar scent of baked bread and an earthy scent that was likely from an air freshener. He felt bad for interrupting the family time that was happening, but the look of surprise and happiness on Virgil’s face almost, keyword almost, took away his anxiety. Virgil hopped behind the counter and asked what they wanted.

“Could I have a ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookie and a loaf of bread?” Logan asked and gestured for Roman to step up and order.

“Could I have some ‘Pretty Odd Macarons’?” Roman asked.

Virgil nodded, rang up the order, and began to get the food. While Virgil was doing that, Patton had approached Roman and the two began talking. 

Virgil handed him the bag and Logan just had to open his mouth and ask, “So, uh, who are these lovely people?” He was nervous and apparently he cannot control his mouth around cute people.

Virgil looked at Remy, who nodded, before responding. “Well, my ren would probably appreciate that you didn’t say men as they are nonbinary and their name is Remy,” Virgil said as he gestured to the person with a leather jacket and sunglasses, “And the other man is my dad, Emile,” Virgil answered as he gestured to the man in a suit with a cardigan and glasses. 

Then Virgil gestured to Logan and said, “This is my friend Logan. Just so everyone knows everyone.”

Logan could feel the blood rushing to his neck and shuffled his feet as he waved. 

Roman smiled and introduced himself, looked at the clock and realized that it was pretty late, and turned to Patton to say goodbye.

Logan turned to Virgil and said, “We need to get back to our apartment and make sure that Remus hasn’t burned it down. He has been at the house alone for around three hours and is pretty chaotic. It was nice seeing you, goodbye.’

Virgil chuckled and said, “It was nice seeing you, Logan. Feel free to drop by anytime.”

Logan looked down at the floor to hide the red that was creeping up his neck and towards his face and grabbed his friend to drag him home. 

Logan was at the front door of his apartment and Roman was still whining like a child. The two walked in and were greeted with Remus and his questioning looks. Logan began to share the story.

Virgil waved to Logan and Roman as they left and looked at his watch to see that it was closing time. They waved Patton over to help finish tidying up and gather the baked goods off the shelf and put them in a box.

As the siblings were working, Remy was holding the dough ball and tossing it between their hands. They could tell their husband was proud of their sons but also incredibly curious, like Remy, about the two men who had come in at closing. Their husband looked at them and Remy knew they were the bolder of the two so he asked, “Who were those two?”

Virgil happened to be at the counter at the moment so he said, “Well Roman is Patton’s admirer and Logan is a new friend as well as the guy who did my newest tattoo.”

Patton happened to hear from the kitchen so he piped up and said, “Actually, Roman doesn’t like me but I think Logan likes Virgil.”

This led to an argument. Emile looked at his spouse and moved to stand next to him. “How much do you wanna bet that both of our children are in love and their respective man also loves them?”

Remy chuckled and said, “While I normally don’t condone on gambling, I can make an exception for our oblivious children. I say it takes the rest of the month.” It was, conveniently, at the beginning of the month.

Emile smiled and said, “I think I will go with the month after.” The two lovers shook hands and looked at the children they had raised.

Virgil and Patton had stopped their bickering and were deciding who would take what was left from the day to the homeless shelter.

When Virgil and Patton decided to buy I Bake Sins, not Tragedies, the two decided that they should donate what food was left from the day to a local homeless shelter that was LGBTQ+ friendly and nonprofit. They had found one thanks to the size of the city they lived in.

Patton decided to take that day and texted his roommate, Thomas, that he would be home later.

Virgil asked his parents who they wanted to stay with that night since Patton and Virgil both had a space prepared for them when they had heard their parents say they wanted to visit.

The two looked at each other and Remy said, “Mind if we stay with you? I haven’t talked to Janus in a while and Emile looks so tired that walking up more stairs than necessary may cause him to pass out.” Remy chuckled as their husband smacked them. 

Virgil nodded and texted their roommate that they would have two guests tonight.

After the siblings finished cleaning and closing up, Virgil walked out to their parent’s car and asked if he could ride to the apartment complex with them.

Remy appeared to consider it before letting him in. The three drove to Virgil’s apartment and decided to not stay up too late.

The next morning was one of chaos. Janus had a big trial at noon that day, Remy and Emile were going to spend their morning walking around the city and the afternoon in the bakery. Virgil’s anxiety was skyrocketing at the thought of something bad happening and was ready to punch something. 

Having woken up earlier than usual, Virgil had the chance to run around the block before getting ready to work. So, he ran. They knew they needed to run to get the nerves under control and they would have the chance to work with dough all day which helps with the aggression aspect of his anxiety. 

After Virgil’s quick run, he went to his apartment, showered off, and put his standard dark clothing and hoodie on. Virgil walked to the bakery in record time and had enough time to put his apron on and help his brother pull the tray out of the oven. Patton had come in early to bake since he was a morning person but Virgil and Patton often alternated each week for who would come in earlier to get the first round in the ovens.

Patton decided to man the register while Virgil took over baking for the morning shift.

The brothers worked nonstop until 11:30, which was standard for Saturdays and enjoyed the break they would receive until the late lunch rush. During this time, Janus stopped in to grab a Danger Days Donut and coffee.

The rest of the morning passed without event and Virgil had decided to take a 10-minute break to go and get their anxiety medication from the pharmacy. Waving to Patton, Virgil walked down the street to the nearest Walgreens and back to the pharmacy. When he arrived, he saw a familiar face, the face of Roman. Roman looked up and saw Virgil as he was about to ask for a name. “Hey, Virgil, I am afraid I will need a last name, for protocol, of course.”

Virgil chuckled and said, “Picani, also I was not expecting you to know it. I was not expecting you to work here, in fact.”

Roman chuckled and said, “I’ve served your brother but I am surprised he hasn’t spoken of me.” Roman pulled Virgil’s medicine off the shelf and handed it to him. 

Virgil took the medicine as he made an offhand comment about thinking that his brother was speaking of another Roman, despite the fact that Virgil was fully aware his brother was very taken by Roman.

The two bantered for another minute before Virgil left and headed back to his bakery.

Virgil walked back in and saw Logan at a table near the bookshelves in the back. 

Patton saw them walk in and gave him a thumbs up so Virgil set their prescription in the back and went out to the bookshelves to talk to Logan. Virgil wasn’t sure why he wanted to talk to the tattoo artist, all he knew was there was something drawing him to Logan. 

Logan felt something tap his shoulder and tensed up a bit, startled but when he turned around, he was pleasantly surprised. Logan did not expect to see Virgil out of the back.

“Looking for a book to read?” Virgil asked.

Logan wasn’t but he wanted to hear Virgil talk about something he liked so he said, “I am actually.”

Maybe Virgil knew Logan was lying but if they did, they humored Logan, “Well, I don’t know if you have read ‘Coraline’ but that is a good one, I mean I based a tattoo off of it. But if you want something less creepy, ‘Good Omens’ by Neil Gaiman is also very good. Want out of the fantasy realm and more science fiction, we have many Douglass Adams novels.”

Logan nodded and decided to find Coraline to read. He had not read the story but had heard good things about it. 

Virgil continued to work for the next hour, making his supply for the evening and later night coffee dates, occasionally checking on Logan. Once or twice Virgil would catch themself staring and have to shake themself from their trance. Virgil was realistic, they weren't in a super-wealthy occupation and weren't the most attractive person out there, heck they had heterochromia. The left eye is green and his right is brown, he just wears a colored contact so they both look brown. Virgil was okay with their appearance but wore the contact because he preferred to assuage the questions and because he used to get bullied for it. They also were aware that it was likely an infatuation and would fade quickly.

At some point in the day, Virgil's parents had also snuck into the store and appeared to be snacking on the rejects near the back. Those two were watching their child's potential future boyfriend with interest. 

And for an hour, it was a blissful quiet. Soon after Logan settled with his book, Virgil traded with Patton to start preparing for the evening and post date bakery visitors. It was mostly making the dough and letting it rise. At one point, Virgil went out to sit with their parents and catch up. After a bit, Virgil relieved Patton of register duty and sat on the stool, sketching.

Virgil wasn’t really a great drawer but he liked to do it nonetheless, it was a relaxing activity. So, with quieter Fall Out Boy playing, Virgil drew, Logan read, Emile and Remy gossiped with Patton, and all was right with the world. Sadly, Logan’s phone decided to disrupt the peace to remind Logan that he had a job. Logan sighed and decided to go to the front counter. Virgil was sketching what appeared to be a beach and Logan hated to disrupt them but he was on a time crunch. “Hey, Virgil,” Logan started, with a softer tone as to not startle the quieter goth, “I was wondering if you could hold onto this book for me to come back in and finish. I am really enjoying it but I have to get to work.”

Virgil looked up, not startled but surprised. He heard Logan’s request and kinda wanted to chuckle because Logan hadn’t thought to ask if he could borrow the book, but Virgil could respect his wish and said, “Absolutely my dude, it is not a problem.” Virgil took the book from Logan and their hands brushed against each other briefly and Virgil was fighting the urge to blush. Logan nodded and fumbled out a goodbye as he backed out, subsequently running into a table, on his way out. Virgil chuckled and tried to convince himself that he didn’t offer to let Logan borrow the book because Virgil wanted Logan to visit again. It took the rest of the day to convince himself of this fact.

Near the end of the day, around what is normally dinner time, Roman busted through the doors and startled Patton. Virgil had left with Remy to grab dinner for the rest of his family and Patton and Emile were left to watch over the bakery. Well, Emile was sitting in his back corner while Patton watched the register and decided if there needed to be more sale goods made or if Virgil should mix dough to bake tomorrow. It was quiet and Patton was a little restless. So Roman’s impromptu entrance was actually appreciated by Patton while Virgil would have scowled. Roman walked up to the front register and put on his blindingly charming smile and Patton couldn’t help but giggle like a girl whose crush just shared that they like someone.

Roman continued walking in and walked to the back where Emile was sitting, which confused Patton. Roman cleared his throat and said, “Hello, my name is Roman. I believe we met last night.”

Emile was a little charmed and smiled as he responded, “Why yes we did.” Emile could also tell the boy was nervous, he kept shuffling his feet and wiping his hands on his pants.

Roman took a second to try to calm down and ask his question. “I was wondering if I could have your permission to take your son, Patton, on a date.” Now Patton was listening by this point and had to keep from gasping in surprise.

Emile smiled and said, “Well, Patton is an adult so you really don’t have to ask me, but if he is fine with it, so am I. I am close to certain my spouse will agree with me and I admire that you asked me but I think the one you really need to ask is by the kitchen door.”

Roman smiled and turned to see Patton peeping and eavesdropping. “Well, Patton, would you like to go on a date with me Friday night?”

Like a deer in headlights, Patton froze before finding his voice to say, “Yes I will.”

Roman smiled and went to hug Patton when the bell above the entrance rang out. Patton rushed out to the front to see if it was a customer, but instead, it was the rest of his family.

Virgil went behind the counter and handed Patton the food they had gotten him and when he finally looked at his brother, Virgil saw his brother’s face lit up with joy, and Virgil knew he was going to be in for a gossip session.

The family ate dinner, with the brothers behind the counter and the parents at a close table. The night finished routinely, with Virgil and Patton cleaning up and Virgil gathering the leftovers for the local shelter. Remy and Emile were staying with Patton that night and Virgil was going to head home afterward.

Virgil was walking back home after visiting the shelter. He was deep in thought when he ran into someone, quite literally. That, someone, happened to be very fit. Logan was that someone. Virgil was quite surprised since he didn’t see Logan outside of the tattoo shop and bakery, but Virgil was not able to form a sentence because the gay part of his brain just went berserk. As previously mentioned, Logan is fit and has a good deal of muscle mass. Virgil also literally ran into him and fell on the ground. So, the anxious, disaster gay was looking for an escape, because flight was his activated instinct. As his eyes scanned the paths of escape, Logan began to speak, “Hey, Virgil. I was not expecting to see you out tonight.”

Somewhere in the anxious fog of his brain, Virgil knew he needed to respond, so he did, “Uh, yeah. Same here. I was dropping some food donations off to the homeless shelter that specifies in helping queer people.”

Logan looked surprised. Then Virgil realized that not everyone uses queer in a friendly sense so he began to explain. “Oh, yeah, I say queer because I believe that some terms need reclaiming and it is a valid label. I, myself, identify as queer.”

Virgil continued to ramble when Logan interrupted, “Virgil, breathe. I was not offended by the use of queer, I like that some are reclaiming it. I didn’t know you donated food to the local homeless shelter, that’s why I looked surprised.”

Virgil breathed, counting so they could calm down. As they calmed down, Logan realized that Virgil was definitely on the verge of a panic attack. So once Virgil had calmed down, Logan offered to walk Virgil to their apartment. Virgil was still a little shaky and agreed. 

The two walked to Virgil's apartment complex and talked. Virgil learned that Logan was a big science nerd and that he liked to misuse slang specifically to annoy Roman. Logan learned that Virgil had always been passionate about baking and that he hadn’t actually found emo music until he was a college student. Those were simple facts and only broad details, however, it brought new depth to their relationship. 

Logan walked Virgil to his front door and waved goodbye as Virgil walked inside. Virgil walked into their apartment, gave a two-fingered salute to Logan (who gave a small wave goodbye), and watched Logan walk away as he closed the door.

“What was that?” Janus asked accusingly.

“Oh, I ran into Logan on my walk home and he offered to walk me home.” Virgil divulged.

“You mean The Logan Croft? The Logan Croft with eyes that are like golden brown honey? With hair that looks like a dark chocolate mousse? By the way, why do you describe him using bakery type foods?” Janus asked, teasing Virgil.

“Yeah, we had a nice conversation on the way home,” Virgil said, baiting Janus with a fishhook of information.

“I think that we need to have a gossip night again, so I will be making the popcorn, you get the drinks,” Janus said, bluntly and full of curiosity.

Virgil chuckled, glad Janus caught the bait. He got up and started to make the hot cocoa, ready to share every detail of the night.

Logan continued walking, tired and happy, indescribably happy. He could definitely try, he knew words, but Virgil elicited a special kind of reaction that he could never begin to decipher. Logan was happy and if he thought about it, maybe he was falling in love. 

Logan was able to make it home safely in his dazed state, and when he got home, he walked into his apartment. He closed the front door and just leaned against the back of the door. Remus happened to hear the door close and looked to see where Logan was. He saw Logan in his starstruck state and felt the need to hopelessly tease rise up in him. “Logan’s got a boyfriend, Logan’s got a boyfriend. Gonna finally get f-,” Remus singsonged until he got cut off.

“Alright, that’s enough. Firstly, I am pan, could easily be a girl or a nonbinary person. Secondly, if you are referring to Virgil, they use they/them and may not want to be referred to as a boyfriend. Thirdly, They likely don’t feel the same,” Logan said, sobering up.

Remus realized that Logan was definitely sensitive about the subject. So, he called Roman into the living room, grabbed some blankets, set a movie up, and went to make cocoa. Tonight was going to be a comfortable gossip night. He texted Janus, saying he may be a bit slow on responding because Logan needed to be listened to.

Both groups had a gossip night, though one was more lighthearted and the other was more of a rant session, both parties ended up feeling more satisfied with how they felt and hopeful that their feelings were reciprocated.

To Be Continued

Hi. This is my birthday gift to myself because I'm now an adult legally and I can do what I want.

[demonicputto]

Chapter 1 of Bring Him Home has been posted!

Excerpt:

“Hey, angel, watcha’ doing?”

“Nothing of immediate importance.” Aziraphale closed the script to give the boy his full attention. “How did this morning go?”

“How’s it look?” He pulled a few five dollar bills from his pocket and grinned. Anthony, for that was what Aziraphale called him in this form, seemed exceedingly pleased with himself. It was odd, sometimes, to watch him smile like that. Aziraphale had mostly made peace with the fact that the Crowley in his memories and the boy that he’d become were not entirely the same person. But that impish grin, long familiar, made that difference easy to forget.

Anthony shoved the money back into the pocket of his jeans. “Mrs. Holmes gave me lunch too so it was pretty good for a few hours work. She’s real nice… I just wish she’d talk a little less. I kept hoping she’d go inside and let me plant stuff in quiet.”

“What did she have you planting this time of year?” Aziraphale asked in confusion. He’d miracled his way through his stint as Brother Francis and hadn’t a clue about gardening.

“Daffodils, I think?” Anthony settled onto the step by Aziraphale’s side. “I dunno. They were bulbs. She said my mom told her they needed to be planted in the fall. I didn’t ask questions.”

“Just in it for the money, then?”

There was a touch of mischief to the boy’s laughter. “Yeah.”