#NO SODA YOU HAVE SODA AT HOME

[separatist-apologist]

If you were put in charge of your very own country what would be a law you would have that’s not really needed but it amuses you? Example: for every five books someone reads, they get a free book from the government

Every third friday is mandatory pizza party

[soda-sparkss]

i cant live without them if i live without them i will literally not live

[helpimtrappedinthetextbox]

Alright

*rubs hands together*

Time to talk about my Just Roll With It: The Suckening Theory about Shilo and Emizel

Fair warning? Spoilers for those who haven't listened yet and mildly unhinged thought process pulling apart really small details

Please know I've chewed on these for so long, it's like the piece of gum Violet has in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Don't believe it cuz it hasn't been explicitly stated? Dunno how to help you there, simply a Dumbass Moment™

First and foremost, let's simply get it out of the way, yes, they're twins

Imma be focusing more on the situation surrounding them being where they are and who they're with

Base Work:

All of these theories revolve around it not simply being a one night stand type thing, that the parents met somewhere, were together romantically for a while then ended up having kids either accidentally or intentionally

Theory 1: Divorced Family of Four

Basically a Parent trap type situation goin' on here, Parents get in a fight, twins separated at birth, they meet when they're older, and if the podcast is going a more humor based route, maybe getting the parents back together

Personally, I'd score it a 4.8/10, giving points for the humor aspect, but seems unlikely due to how the queen was keeping tabs on Emizel but Jeffery didn't seem to recognize Shilo

Theory 2: Temporary Living Situation

Essentially, when the twins were born, seeing that one was more predominately either Human or Vampire but they couldn't safely raise them in the same household, for fear of the other side being exposed to their respective society

So the plan was to raise them in their own worlds, then when they were fully grown up they'd introduce them to each other, and give Emizel the option to join Vampire society, Jeffery probably will also Turn when Emizel does

Rating this one a 6.3/10, does g really explain when the mom didn't want Shilo to talk about the stuff, again, Jeffery not recognizing Shilo, the mom not reaching even though theyre both adults (at least by human standards)

Theory Three: Uncle Dad

This one takes a bit of a different take. Alright, so starting off, Jeffery isn't the actual Dad, he's the twin brother of the Dad. Now, you may think that specific connection is random, however I promise it's not. Twins is a genetic trait, in order for twins to be born it has to come from one side of the family, in this case, the dad's side. However, I think the dad and Jeffery weren't in contact, or at least not in constant contact. Not a malicious thing but more of an 'talking didn't take priority' type deal. Now, I don't think the dad is still alive for this to work, he probably died a short while after the twins were born.

After the dad died, the mom didn't have the ability to keep up with both twins, one being a human child that she wouldn't have a clue where to start with, thus she reached out to the brother, whom the father would have mentioned a few times probably. Probably explaining as much as she could without giving away the whole Vampire thing. She asked him to raise Emizel. And she did it in a way that would allow him to live a completely normal human life. She gave up seeing her son ever again so that he could have a happy human life. Which would be why she kept constant tabs on him, to make sure he was still safe and alive. Which would be why she didn't want Shilo to look into it or even mention it. Which was why she was crying when Shilo was leaving the castle in his Frenzy, because she lost the love of her unlife and her son in quick succession.

It would also explain why Jeffery didn't recognize Shilo, because he didn't know Shilo existed. Or the Queen would have had to mention why she was able to keep one child but not both, or at least why she couldn't keep both children in her side of the family.

This theory has a rating of 8.7, it seems the most likely as far as the two episodes have presented so far, but there's no telling if it'll hold up for the rest of The Suckening. I personally think that with the evidence we have now it'd be quite the interesting turn and would explain some of the odd plot holes of "Jeffery not recognizing Shilo" and Condi's mention of "a few months after birth" in regards to how long Emizel has known Jeffery, which was quite interesting.

Not Theory related, but if Grethgor isn't alive after what happened at the end of 2, bc I don't trust that Sheriff as far as I can throw him, I'mma be screaming, crying, throwing up, because how the Sheriff worded it made it seem like the order stayed the same but worded different to appease Shilo.

Also, shout out to @cant-think-to-save-my-life for listening to my theories, even the unhinged ones, and listening to me be hysterical when I'm having a new theory, and also when I'm hysterical about if Grethgor is alive or not, put up with a lot out me, but they signed up for it to be fair ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[zafiro-anyejo]

Another thing is it's like ... actually $20 to see a movie where I live. And there's a $2.50 payment fee if you buy the ticket online.

[antirepurp]

oh No am i going to have to learn even more javascript shit to implement a navigation menu that i doesn't require me to update every page with said menu manually every time i add a page. say it ain't so stack overflow i beg of you

[avatardoggo]

when you meet a Guy and he is 99.9% perfection but the Holy Spirit says no

[rubberduckyrye]

Google how to make yourself feel better when you're having a fit of depression without caving in to your emotional crutch on soda while also not feeling like you're restricting and accidentally reliving a food-related trauma that makes me feel worse about restricting--

[carcarrot]

BASEBALL GAMES ARE THREE HOURS?

[trollplaying]

.

[in-death-we-fall]

Public service announcement: if you feel it necessary to put "please send someone with 4wd/awd" in your delivery instructions, you should not be ordering delivery ❄️

[bunnyb34r]

I just saw a post ab how people hate wasps bc they're not cute like bumblebees and babe let me stop you right there, it's bc they don't die when they sting you so they're GONNA sting you without fear

It's fear more than anything. We don't see them and go "ew a wasp, how UGLY" we see them and go "oh god please dont sting me please dont sting me please please oh fuck"

[widowshill]

i'm not saying v would fix his alcoholism. she could, however, sway him towards other hedonistic outlets exponentially healthier, which is really a win for everyone involved (especially the helpless collinsport pedestrians)

[crowcryptid]

they got doom guy in the doritos

[anotherpapercut]

I worked my library's pride booth at my city's pride event today which went really well and was pretty fun and then I almost got in a fight on the way home

[antirepurp]

egg viper is the kind of boss you have fun fighting maybe once a year or every two years and doing it twice in the same weekend is kind of fucked up actually

[howtotrainyouragents]

Almost forgot to respond to this! Thank you so much for tagging me @swampsiren-piratefairy, it was so fun to read your responses (the Kiara/Kovu ship is SO real, and I've gotta check out this Brownie Lasagna now O.O)!

1 3 ships: ElizabethxDarcy, HarukaxMichiru, and Ladynoir

2 First ever ship: Jane and Peter from Peter Pan 2, I was HERE for it

3 Last Song: Never a Good Time by NOTD and The Band Camino

4 Last Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

5 Currently reading: Pride and Prejudice!

6 Currently watching: Sailor Moon and Arrow and Vincenzo and Twice's My Elegant Private Life

7 Currently consuming: Just finished my mom's fish and rice :)

8 Currently craving: Chocolate :(

Tagging: @annabreaksthings, @miraculousagentsofkrypton, @younggoremagala, @agentmanatee, @chaylattes and anyone who would like to do this!