#NOTHING about actual real life queer people fighting for their rights is about them. the people who were /oppressed/ by

[dolokhoded]

with greece legalizing gay marriage and everything i'm so tired of people diminishing queerness in greece to "oh your ancient greek ancestors would be proud ! alexander the great would be proud ! achilles would be proud sappho would be proud plato would be proud" etcetc.

queer rights progressing in greece wouldn't make our "ancient greek ancestors" proud because they had an entirely different concept of marriage than us, viewed women as objects to be sold and traded and only accepted homosexuality between men, or even more likely, a man and a literal underage boy.

gay rights in greece aren't benefiting some people who died a few thousand years ago or are Literally Fictional. greek queerness isn't just some ancient dionysian fantasy of feeding each other grapes and reciting poetry to each other by the sea. actual greek people who do benefit from this still exist. it doesn't honor some ancient guy who condoned slavery. it honors greek queer people who were out there protesting at the controversy this law raised with the church and actually made the effort to win this fight.

ancient greece isn't the epitome of queerness, not even close. absolutely in no way when it concerned exclusively just gay men. the epitome of queerness is the trans kid from my hometown who insisted on cutting their hair and dressing masculine even within their transphobic high school environment and strict orthodox family, or the woman who taught me programming who was married with children and realized she was aromantic fifteen years into marriage, or the gay punks who kept cops out of the university's anarchist hotspot.

greek queer people aren't history or mythology, and ancient greece isn't the queer utopia you make it out to be. we're still here, and we're fighting against the exact ideas our ancient culture perpetuated.

[pippin-katz]

Alright before anyone asks me:

yes I’m aware Taylor used an AI app/filter thing

no I don’t like that he used it

yes it’s a little problematic that he used it

no he did not violate the strike by using it

yes I have seen the tiktok of those two white bitches demanding queer roles only be played by queer characters

yes they are completely fucking stupid and hypocritical

The SAG strike is fighting against the use of AI to write scripts, create footage, recreate their likeness and voice to steal their identity, and all that fantastic bullshit.

The AI app Taylor used has nothing to do with that.

If the app’s algorithm was trained by photos and artwork that the developers had permission and consent to use, it would be completely fine.

However, 99.9% of them do not have permission. That is also an important AI issue, but it is not the same as what the SAG strike is about. It’s not great that he used it, but he did not do anything wrong regarding the strike.

Also, I’d like to point out that most people are unaware of the theft that goes on behind the scenes. It may seem obvious to people like me, an artist, or people who spend a lot of time on the internet looking at art, but most ordinary people who hop on something like TikTok and use an AI filter are not aware of the thievery that is taking place.

It is not impossible that he isn’t familiar with this issue either, especially given how much he seems to travel, and his attention being on sustainability, specifically in the fashion/clothing industry. He’s busy doing stuff in real life. He’s also a bit of a bookworm, so he’s probably not on the internet nearly as much as people like us.

Is it still bad that he used it? Yes, but it is not something to freak out over. Inform him of the problem and move on.

As for the bitches, I would probably punch the one with braces in the face if I was put in a room with them. They had the gall to complain about Love, Simon being “too happy”, citing how miserable queer people are and how we’re scared to come out of the closet, right after demanding all queer characters be played by queer actors.

Please let this idea DIE. It does far more harm than the good people have in mind.

The idea is that it would get more queer actors hired and more representation overall and whatnot, but if you actually stop to fucking think about it, it is completely stupid.

1. Sexuality is an invisible trait. Anyone can identify as anything simply by saying it.

2. Any queer actor would have to out themselves just to play a queer character on a screen.

3. Actors do not owe the public details about their personal life and identity.

4. Stop assuming everyone is straight until said otherwise. It’s heteronormative and harmful.

One of the best lines in the entirety of Red, White & Royal Blue is this one from Alex’s speech:

“The forced conformity of the closet cannot be answered with forced conformity in coming out of it.”

There are far too many queer people who are failing to understand this. By pressuring people to come out, you are harming them. There are a bunch of different reasons for why they haven’t, with the most important one being that they simply don’t want to. It is their decision, and your opinion is unwanted and irrelevant.

Alright there, I addressed the stuff. Moving on!

[phoenixonwheels]

The ~discourse~ around the term cripple punk is so wild to me bcs from what I've seen the people arguing that it includes mental illnesses/disabilities are mentally ill people who are ALSO physically disabled explaining from experience that not only are mental illnesses oftentimes disabling in exactly the same way physical disabilities are, but that trying to draw a hard line between "physical" and "mental" conditions is reductive and unhelpful in terms of actually accommodating us and understanding our conditions, especially given that both have so much overlap that it's hard to distinguish what's coming from where in the first place. Like when I'm having a bad enough depressive episode I feel real, physical pain in my chest that's so bad I can hardly stand up, and the accommodations that help me when my hEDS or POTs is making it hard to stand help when it's the depression instead. And yet I'm supposed to believe these two things are completely different, 100% of the time, no exceptions?? Plus like, idk every time I see people argue that mental conditions are somehow different from physical ones it just reminds me of how often doctors will brush aside the physical symptoms of my mental illnesses bcs they're "all in my head" despite how much I'm clearly suffering. For me so much of learning to live with stuff like my bipolar and adhd is unlearning the idea that my brain is like, a separate entity from my body, and accepting that the physical stuff I'm feeling shouldn't be dismissed just bcs it's caused by my brain and not like, my POTs or hEDS. For so often I've seen positivity posts talking about how mental conditions do physically affect people and understanding and accepting that is important, it's wild to see a group that should be on top of that sort of thing fumble it so badly.

And god, so much of the world is already against disabled people, getting mad that the "wrong" disabled people are using the term cripple punk while society does everything in its power to make life impossible for us feels like we're just doing their work for them. We should stand united in our very much shared struggle instead of desperately trying to shove everyone in separate boxes and make sure they stay there, insisting that we have nothing in common and could never share a community. We have everything in common and we need to stand together, now more than ever.

All of this! And also it’s clearly never occurred to them that a huge percentage of the medical gaslighting we’ve all experienced is having doctors blow off our physical disabilities and illnesses by claiming we’re mentally ill. Gee hmm I wonder why that is? Could it be that mental illnesses and disabilities are even more discriminated against than physical illnesses and disabilities? And if we all fight together for respect and rights for people with all types of disabilities and disorders we all benefit?

This shit is absolutely wild to me. And it leads to things like people yelling at me - an actual wheelchair user who is currently mostly bedbound - that I hate cripples and am somehow trying to “steal cripple privilege” and insert myself undeservingly into “cripple spaces” because I refuse to join them in their bigotry against mentally ill and mentally disabled people.

MERDs are to the Cripple Punk and disability rights movements what TERFs are to feminism and the queer rights movement. They’re dragging us back decades.

*MERD: mental-exclusionary radical disabled

[caspianthegeek]

Something's been turning over in my head over the last few days about Good Omens and queer representation. I keep seeing calls for it to be more explicit, that it's not good enough, that Neil of all people is fearful of making it absolutely queer.

None of this is true. The fact that it's been embraced by marginalized people who state "this is like me" should be all that's needed for others who it does not represent to back down and respect that. It's not their lane to declare what is representation for someone else.

And Neil, of all people, gives no fucks for what others think in regards to adding queer characters to media and has been doing so for a very long time.

What got to me though was what does explicit look like. A first time coming out story? That's not what Good Omens is. These are adults, let them simply exist in a queer way. Talking to each other about it? Why? Aziraphale and Crowley don't need to explain anything to each other. They both know the other loves them in every way fathomable to the pair, and what else matters? They literally stopped Armageddon and risked everything just to be together. Human gender perceptions that change every few hundred years? Crowley will take all the genders and do as he wants with them, knowing that it's so very temporary.

And that led me to being queer to those outside your inner circle, and it was an oh moment for me. Do you... do you think that they should be loudly out? There's nothing wrong with being loudly out of course. The people who have the privilege to be out do so much good in the world simply by existing and many of them do far more than that.

As someone who is out in every way that matters to me though: It's completely exhausting.

Even getting people to gender me correctly is an uphill battle that sometimes I choose to fight and sometimes I realize "I am going to see this person one time in my life, and I am tired." I have absolutely corrected CEOs that earn more than I will ever earn in my life because they have the ability to elicit change if pushed. It's important and I choose that battle. I don't ask the clerk at the store to gender me correctly. I just thank them and go about my day.

I did a fic on this topic for the first Our Side Zine, but coming out is a process that never ends and takes an ongoing mental toll.

And it was so delightful to see characters on screen who were allowed to simply be. Not to need to defend who they are or who they love beyond the obvious Heaven/Hell struggles. It's a shining moment of rest. And the reminder that you, too, can just exist. You don't need to constantly label yourself or explain yourself. And it's okay if you haven't found a label (or never do).

It is one reason why this representation is so important. One explanation as to why so many of us are upset when we see people dismissing it. I don't think it's any accident that many of the people I see defending Good Omens as sufficient queer rep are older LGBTQIA+ people who have dealt with the exhaustion of existing for so long. Who have learned when to fight their battles and to delight in those who know us for who we are.

It is nothing new, but it does break my heart to see us now needing to fight within our own community yet again to assert that we are enough.

I hope that the people stating Good Omens should be more explicit have their hearts in the right place. I also need them to know that they're doing real harm to actual queer people. That I've spent the last month consoling those who are hurt and needing to be consoled in return at times.

I need the people who think that Good Omens is not enough to really consider if this is the battle they want to fight, knowing that they're littering the battlefield with injured LGBTQIA+ people. You're not insulting the allocishets. They don't care, they've never cared. None of us should concern ourselves with them, because ultimately their opinion doesn't matter. There's enough in the world about them, this is ours.

Or was it never about the nonbinary, ace, and aro communities at all? Was it about seeing what you wanted in media and being upset that some of us got this piece of representation?

What I understand least of all in this is coming into someone else's house and declaring it not sufficient to fit your needs. Not everything is about you. That's okay. It doesn't need to be. Maybe look within yourself to find a piece of happiness for the absolute joy that some others within the queer community have found rather than trying to tear it from them.

[karidley]

Hot take, but I actually really, really love Cassie Sandsmark's current costume.

It just... it looks like how I dress. I see me in that. I see my evolution in her evolution.

I too was an awkward (unwittingly) queer kid who thought every other girl in existence was born with innate knowledge I had no way of obtaining. In my younger years I generally looked like a dorky string bean.

Then as a preteen and teen I leaned real hard into being a tomboy. At the time my idea of fighting the patriarchy was to ~not be like other girls~, but if I'd allowed myself to be truly honest with myself I would have recognized that i actually didn't feel all that happy wearing baggy, oversized clothing and being mistaken for a boy. There's nothing wrong with that, let me be clear. But to me it was either THIS or THAT. And wearing or doing anything "girly" was giving in to the patriarchy. And that's not a really healthy way to make life choices.

Obviously Cassie did the opposite, leaning way into "doing girl right," but we were both reacting to same principle: there's a right way to be a girl and there's a wrong way and you need to either gather or throw away what doesn't conform. I was looking for a fight. Cassie was looking to belong.

What broke this mentality for me was moving to an art school thousands of miles from the heteronormative white suburb I'd grown up in. I met so many different people with different experiences of the world. And wow! Lots of them had personal styles that weren't Boy or Girl or Popular Subgroup with Distinct Rules (when i was a teen it was emo, scene, punk, prep.) And I started to go "hey no one knows me here... maybe I could try on being sexy or girly or pretty or cutesy or dye my hair or shave my head. Maybe i can play. No one here cares, there's no one to fight."

But poor Cassie had to try to do her wobbly, awkward self-exploration in front of the world, while standing next to Dianna Prince and Donna Troy (and getting bullied at school.) Everything she did or didn't do with her self-presentation was automatically in conversation with their choices. And as one would expect, often her attempts ended up looking either painfully clumsy or "not herself."

In college I had a close friend and roommate (a lesbian - i was the "token straight" in my friend group which lol no i wasn't), whose style embodied feminine cuteness. She always wore heels and had perfect makeup and wore pretty long skirts. Like Cassie did with Cissie, I paid attention to how she put on her makeup and copied stuff. She gave me tips when I asked about it. I felt awkward and clumsy and self conscious (and looked it, too.) After a bit I moved on, took a little bit with me (a lot of it wasn't my thing and honestly felt like i was cosplaying someone else) and starting trying other stuff.

Over time I also became acquainted with the wider queer community and learned the gender binary was false to begin with. (God, I wish I'd known sooner.)

ANYWAY what ended up happening was that I pieced together a really comfortable, eclectic style that's first purpose is to make me happy. Sometimes I wear makeup. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes i look like a witch with tall edwardian boots. Sometimes I look kinda punk. Sometimes I look like I stepped out of a historical picture. Sometimes I *do* wear baggy oversized clothes. I have brightly dyed hair. I've tried an undercut, and pixies, and long hair and the bisexual bob. I wear a large hat and a leather jacket and heels. I wear sparkly nail polish and bright red lipstick and I absolutely don't gaf what shape my eyebrows are.

But that took years and years of saying "oooh I like that look" and going home and trying it on. (Sometimes with the additional queer head scratcher of "do I like this look or am I just attracted to this person?" Yeah, definitely not something i can imagine Cassie ever thinking lmao)

But funnily enough you wanna know what makes up the bulk of my outfits nowadays? T-shirt, leggings, comfy skirt, and leather or jean jacket. And comfy 1920s workboots. Why? It's comfy and I feel cute with very little effort!

Anyway, that's why i earnestly love Cassie's stylistic evolution and back and forth with femininity (even if I have to retrofit/reclaim some uhhh pretty sexist stuff from the people writing/drawing her.)

Because this girl? She looks like she looked in a mirror this morning and went "damn, I'm cute." She looks like she chose that skirt bc it's comfortable and fun to twirl in and for the snap the fabric makes when she's flying. She looks like she feels cool with that jacket on. She looks like she put that eyeliner on and went "fuckin nailed it" when she got the point she wanted.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

BTS can finally come out now that being gay is legal in SK. Actually they better do. I won’t stop telling that on Twitter until they see it. Enough w the drama and gay baiting for years now. ALL 7 of them.

Out of all the asks we've received over the years, this one truly takes the crown as the most disgusting and entitled one. Are you out of your mind? No, like, I mean that seriously, because not only did you completely misunderstand what happened but you are also trying to force people who owe you nothing except for new music eventually, at their own pace, into outing themselves for no reason other than because you want them to. Do you see how entirely fucked that is? Like pardon my language but I'm so pissed off, especially after the news about Namjoon earlier today, that I really don't feel like being polite at all.

South Korea did not legalise same-sex marriage, they didn't pass a law to recognise same-sex couples the way they do with straight couples. What they did was grant a same-sex couple equal rights to healthcare as those given to straight couples, which in the context of the LGBT community and South Korea is a major step that hopefully one day will lead to a better future for the queer community over there. You can read a more detailed articles about it here.

It is entirely fucked to think that the hard work of queer activists who are risking their lives to fight for a better future for their fellow queers has anything to do with idols, and the fact that your first thought is how BTS have to do this or that because of it merely shows how disconnected you are from reality. Regardless of the law, BTS could come out if they wanted to, if they saw a reason or need to, but they did not and chances are they will not. And you know why? Because of entitled people like you. And because they are humans just like us who deserve their privacy and live their lives in peace without the whole world looking down upon them like they're specimens being studied or animals in a zoo.

Even if all seven were truly queer, there is no law or reason why any of them would have to or should come out. It's an extremely personal matter and one that has nothing to do with their occupation, being idols and musicians. What does their sexuality have to do with their music? Nothing.

As for drama, you know who causes that? Toxic and delulu shippers, most of whom are straight themselves, fighting about things they've mostly made up in their heads themselves and convinced each other of it. Sure, maybe this is a case of pot calling cattle black, but I've never claimed to know anything for certain and I would never, ever, think I have any right to know the truth, let alone feel entitled to it or want to fight people over it. But there are people who feel entitled to outing their ship, to forcing them into admitting something that likely isn't true, and are willing to wage war against anyone who disagrees and even throw members of their ship under the bus if they act differently than what shippers want. Those people are the problem. But those people have nothing to do with the reality of queer people. If anything those are the people that show the queer community that we are nothing but a gimmick to them, a toy to play with and punish if we don't act right. And things will never change if people continue acting that way.

What Korea did is a great thing, a beginning especially during the time of an administration that is completely disconnected from reality and pushing agendas that are truly baffling at the best of times, so instead of trying to weaponise the results of brave queer activist in a country hellbent on shunning them, sit you ass down, shut up, and stop conflating real life issues and happenings with fantasies of delulu shippers and lives of people we have no right to.

[chaoticsoulsword]

I want to talk about Kate Pryde, Bobby Drake and Peter Quill, more specifically, about their respective journeys into queerness.

Idk about you people but I find personally important and meaningful whenever I see characters who had decades of established heterosexuality having authors "change" that because, as an adult, I haven't spent all my life with my sexuality figured out.

In fact, not even 1/3 of my life was spent with the full acknowledgement of my sexuality and gender since I've been figuring things out only recently. Partially because I was raised in a very conservative and christian environment with little to no safety when it comes to queerness.

Until my 20s, I really thought I was cis and straight, even though deep down I knew I was different, no matter how hard I tried to fit in. Things make more sense now.

But the truth is, not everyone has the privilege of embracing queerness, even in countries where our existence is not illegal. Seeing nerds whining and crying like “don’t make established characters gay! It’s forced!” makes me so mad.

Because people like me exist all over the world, still figuring out, still fighting hetcomp culture. On top of that, we KNOW corporations still frown upon this matter, and we know many queer love stories will never be written.

Bobby, Kate and Peter are completely different, but the common ground they have? One thing called “Marvel couldn’t write queer characters even though they’re queer-coded.” That’s actually the whole premise behind early mutanthood. But now there’s a little bit (and I emphasize “little bit”) freedom and a thristy queer market nearly begging for representation. So, a womanizer guy who acts this way because he’s afraid of embracing his own homosexuality? Yeah, it's not really that far-fetched at all. We’ve all seen it happen to neighbors, celebrities, even family.

A guy who lived centuries in space finally feeling safe and comfortable around an m|f couple to the point of joining them? You won’t see it irl but certainly poly bi/pan people felt their heart warm with this story (I know mine did).

And a girl who was constantly forced into relationships with guys named Peter, finally having a chance to feel the same way for girls instead of assuming “it’s just a strong friendship”? Yeah, it defintinely happens. In fact, Kate’s story literally happened to ME (let’s just say I was Illyana in this whole mess, but hey, so happy for my lesbian former friend who, turns out, almost married a guy because of hetcomp)

I’m not saying Bobby’s, Pete’s and Kate’s experiences are outstanding representation. Hell, nah. Kate’s queerness was barely explored (Illyana is right on the line waiting as well). Peter’s relationship with Rich and Gamora are nothing but subtle, as far as Al Ewing was allowed to write them down as a throuple. But listen, at least it gives queer adults some hope that yes, we are allowed to love our own queerness. We’re allowed to feel safe and embrace who we are, no matter how hard and challeging it seems. And I’m not even talking about places where homosexuality is a crime.

So, in short, it shouldn’t be a problem for ANYONE to embrace queerness in established characters. It shouldn’t be a problem for us to see ourselves in established “straight” characters either because we’re not crazy. If we see ourselves in them, it’s because they speak to us in ways other people could not comprehend. Coming out late is a difficult process, but it’s a common occurrence nevertheless. It happens all the time. It happened to me. It’s happening around you as you read this. It’s real, I promise you.

[leilost]

multiples of 2 for the price ask for yourself or any of your ocs (whichever is more comfy!)

Let's do me, Nadji, + human Remi 😋

2. Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc?

Yeh. It gives me room to just fuck around and let things come and go as they please.

Nadji doesn't. Not that it hasn't resonated with him, he's just never thought about it. And he doesn't feel the need to. He doesn't do a lot of research when it comes to labels, so it usually just boils down to "I be fucking." Or nothing at all. Nobody ever knows who he's actually interested in until they know.

Remi does identify as queer. They're heavy into queer theory, reads all the time, keeps up with the discourse, the labels and new language. Like, they really bout they shit. They see it as an opportunity for folks to ask them "what does that mean to you?" and then they personalize it (similarly to me).

4. Are you "out" to your family and friends?

Me: Yeah, sure.

Nadji: What that mean

Remi: I had no interest in coming out, but they know.

6. (If you're out) do you wish you came out sooner? Later? Or was it the right time?

Nah. If it was up to me, I would have told no one. Coming out is an annoying concept, especially with my experience. I'd rather just let folks find out or just say "yeah, call me that. end of discussion," if we're talking about gender-affirming things like name changes.

Nadji just came home with a dude (more like a lineup of dudes) one day and let his folks figure it out, lol. I think the only person he had a conversation with was his momma, Nadie, and she initiated it. But, it was casual, and her goal was to talk about sex ed so wasn't much of a convo. Nadie is also bisexual so she wouldn't make a big deal out of it anyway. Now, does he wish that he brought dudes he was dating around sooner or later? Ask him and he'd joke and say he wouldn't have brought them around at all, but I think that Nadji has a lot of guilt for how he's treated past partners since he's on the aro spectrum and didn't know what was up until much later. A lot of people just called him a player. They still do. He tries not to think about it.

Remi told everyone about their name change during the summer before their sophomore year of high school. It was a non-negotiable. Either you call me by my name, and respect my pronouns or we not talking (Remi: except for Mama). They have no regrets when they did it. It was the right time because they has figured it out. Plain and simple.

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

Me: Outchea

Nadji: Nigga

Remi: It changes weekly with producer tags. Right now it's Mustardonthebeathoe. (Please click the link, I'm crying.)

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):

Me: Already answered.

Nadji is a cis man, but he's had a time with gender growing up. People often thought he was a girl when he was little (his hair used to be real long and he has wild lashes), and he's been called pretty his whole life, but then he got that stocky frame and people were like you real macho. He just vibes. He wouldn't be aware of this but he gets a lot of gender euphoria from not having to think about gender at all. He can just be a clown in whatever way that manifests. Also, when P-Funk comes on, he feels it too? Very specific but the funk is just affirming like that, lol.

Remi like wearing those close-fitted tees with the circle neck and real short sleeves with baggy pants. It always does it. Or just a good ole white beater. They also like when they're doing things that makes them feel more connected to their body. They love handy work, love lifting things. Also, wrestling/play-fighting.

12. Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most:

Imma let my babies have it because I listen to everything the listen to.

Nadji: frank ocean, tyler the creator, steve lacy, blood orange, anddd omar apollo.

Remi: takes a deep breath in moses sumney, serpentwithfeet, cupcakke, mayal, closegood, meshell ndegeocello, jamila woods, swsh, bbymutha, sienna liggins, intro (kenny green was bi), big mama thorton, adrian kain, baby tate, jackie shane, I could go on but I will stop.

14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

It all affects it. I could be here all day talking about this, but I'll let them have it.

Nadji: few seconds delay Oh shit, you mean me or- points to Remi who uses they/them pronouns

Remi: slides in front of Nadji so they're completely blocking him As a black autistic arospec anti-fascist they/them dyke (sights to me nodding in the background) there are many things that work together to help me define my queerness. I don't see it as one identity in the middle with the other identities connected to it by branches. They all exist within, without, around, and beside each other, always in harmony. That is all.

16. Do you attend Pride in person every year?

I used to, but stopped once it got really crowded, intense, and commercialized.

Nadji: Hell yeah. Wouldn't be the same without ya boy, you feel me starts smiling

Remi: as soon as the question is asked No.

18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?

I have no idea how old I was, but it was over the age of 21 lol. I went with a cousin.

Nadji was 20. He went with his art crew.

Remi went once with a friend once the parade was finishing up, stayed for like 20 minutes, if even that, and dipped. Like, dipped forevermore.

20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?

At times I don't, but generally, yeah. Also, the more that I grow into myself, the more I don't mind not fitting in. I've been in a lot of spaces where I've felt and been excluded because of how I look. A lot of times it's been because of white queers not perceiving me as queer-presenting enough. Which is so funny because the events I go to are usually said to be for queer and trans people of color, (and usually said to be free for trans black folx) which I am both. White people often annoy me. This is not new information.

Nadji doesn't care until someone makes him hyperaware of it. It's more so about him feeling left out, period. That's him in any space since he likes the attention.

Remi doesn't, but they've never really cared. And it's not because they're not embraced in queer spaces. It's more so that the way people embrace them isn't embracing them, it's an idea of them. And phew, that is loaded. Perhaps I'll talk more about it another time.

22. How do you usually celebrate Pride month?

Being outside, lol. But living in New York while also having an overnight job is making that difficult at the moment. This is the first year that I'm like loud loud about it because I'm like....openly trans. Majority of my family knows, I'm in the process of getting my name changed legally, and I feel really secure in who I am. I bought my first flag pendant necklace and that's like huge for me. So, yeah. Definitely a really important pride month.

Nadji: We outside. (For the folks who need it, this can mean many of things. And Nadji indeed means all the things.)

Remi: With my folx. (As long as Remi has people they love around, they good.)

24. Do you practice any religion, if so how does it play into your LGBT identity? Do you feel welcomed by your spiritual community?

I don't feel like sharing that right now.

Nadji, nah. He definitely believes in divinity and it has a place in his life, but he hasn't explored it.

Remi, my babyyyy. Yeah, Black American folk magic plays a huge part in their everyday and their identity. As a non-human, which is what they originally started as, they have they ability to communicate with spirits and I associate them with Hoodoo and its practices. Their spiritual community is very few actually. But they don't care because that's not their concern. It never felt like one.

26. How do you feel about the term partner rather than husband/girlfriend/etc?

We loooove it.

28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?

I experience sexual attraction, and I'm arospec.

Nadji and Remi both have the same thing going on, but at different capacities.

30. Are you monogamous or polyamorous?

Nadji: chuckles

Remi and I in unison: Relationship anarchy.

32. Do you do arts and crafts? Post a pic of a project you've done:

I NEED TO DO THIS FOR NADJI AT A LATER TIME.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

Anti-trans legislation stresses me out so...yeah.

Nadji: Y'all heard that new Khamari? It's fire.

Remi: shrugs Burn it all and start over.

[strangertheory]

Relationships are hard enough as it is, but the pressure the world puts on you to be a certain way, act a certain way, love a certain way... is so destructive.

The destruction that our own fears can create is so real. So hard to deal with. The guilt. The wondering if you're doing the right or wrong thing by lying to yourself and everyone you know in order to spare them pain because you're convinced that's for the best. You're convinced that your quiet pain is worth it, if you can spare the people that you love disappointment. If you can avoid that fight, you think it's better to hide. If you can avoid making them cry, you think it's better to be in the closet and hide who you are.

Everyone always thinks of the struggles faced by the queer community as being Them vs. The Mean Bullies, or as Them vs the parents that will either fully accept them or fully reject them and kick them out of the house. And sure, that's some of it. Those risks exist. But there's nothing harder than when there are people in your life that you love who have been nothing but kind to you your entire life but that you can't be sure would embrace you as who you are once you give voice to it. That is far harder to face than any known bully. The bullies were always there, and you knew that you were better off without them and that you deserved better. But your mom who read you bedtime stories every night when you were a baby? Your brother who cheered for you at all your sports games and got you milkshakes after every match? That girlfriend who is having such a hard year and is struggling to be happy and that you feel deserves every happiness in the world?

It's agonizingly hard to face the fear of disappointing and losing the unconditional love and community of the people who have been kind to you for your entire life.

And it's most especially hard to face the thought of hurting those you love.

And that is really hard to capture in a way that feels real to me. For whatever reason, many movies with the cliché "oh no what will my parents think!?" set up had become very superficial to me emotionally because it always plays out like a bad script. The parents are always cookie cutter clichés, and we're not set up to be invested in why the kid doesn't want to disappoint them beyond "well they're mom and dad." But seeing the details of a character's relationship with loved ones, seeing the struggle that those they love are truly going through in their own lives: it makes things actually feel real.

I don't talk about being queer with my mom and dad anymore. I avoid the topic. I'm out. I told them a first time, and then many times after that I'm not straight. That I've fallen in love with women before. That this is part of who I am. That it's an important part of my life.

But the pain that I see flash across my mom's face and the anxiety and the tears that it causes every single time I remind my mom that I'm not straight isn't only painful to me because I feel hurt that she doesn't understand and accept me. It hurts because I see her dealing with so much in her own life that is hard. It hurts because she was in an accident recently and will be recovering for months. It hurts because my dad snapped at her unfairly the other day over lunch. It hurts because she's been really depressed lately. It hurts because even though her inability to accept this part of me hurts my feelings, and even though it's unfair that she doesn't understand: I also want her to be happy. I'm not sitting here with my middle finger in the air at this homophobic parent that Doesn't Get It. Honestly, deep down... my pain isn't as important as hers because I love her and in many ways have already forgiven her for her ignorance and inability to relate and understand why this is so important to me. It's agonizing that any time the topic is approached, no matter how carefully I try, it causes her so much pain. And I hate that we live in a world that has taught my sweet-hearted mom to be so disgusted and horrified by the idea of queer love. This world is poisoned.

The struggle to be who you are in an ignorant world is not as simple as not wanting the world to hurt you. It's so often about being terrified that your very existence and your feelings, or lack of feelings, will hurt other people. And that's agonizingly unfair. I hope for a world that someday is less poisoned by the ignorance and fear that holds such a suffocating grip on our society.

And I just wanted to share that after watching Stranger Things Part 1.

This isn't easy. None of this is easy. And it might never be easy, not even after you "come out." And that's the hard truth of all of it. In reality, many of us are all "coming out" over, and over, and over again. And most of us are still closeted sometimes in different scenarios. The question of "should I say something and be vulnerable and share my thoughts and share who I am?" will never be finished even after you're out, either. That never stops. It's often a life-long, endless experience.

And it's hard.

It is so hard.

[omegawizardposting]

You being a native just makes it more powerful to me. Not wanting to essentially give in to what most of them want is something that is valid imo, but when it comes to the rhetoric in the states while it is technically safer moving its still giving the facists what they want, more control. More of a chance to start the actual violence they are promising; it seems impossible to judge anyone for their choices in how they handle this to me. What's happening is terrifying and all that can be done is fight as hard as possible or run and seek help in any way. Just like, I also use the f-slur pretty loosely because that's the culture I live and kind of grew up with. Q* is a word that is present at almost any lgbt event. Stuff like that. As stupid as it may sound with the way I've been wording things that honestly seems like a valid reason to be against the idea of moving states, a culture where its reclaimed is inherently going to be uncomfortable to you especially because even a lot of people that reclaim it have trauma with it, and having to deal with that isn't necessarily the better option. I also haven't been on tumblr for a while btw, I followed you before when I used to use this app and I had to refollow you because tumblr deleted my inactive account. Just some attempt to add context on the prospective? I'm also high. Just sort of like what's going on in the states is terrifying to me and I can't blame anyone I'm pretty sure for whatever they choose, and it just feels like a more exetreme version of people getting pissed at you for not wanting to be called q* especially after telling that person that you aren't okay with it when the cultural difference is undeniable. The fact that this is a concern and there are places where it isn't along with how far right the overturn window is normalizes the hatred that brews this, and refusing to fight back won't solve anything because facists are not and will never be reasonable but also running for your life because their coming for you and you refuse to die and let them take you because they show that they will stop at nothing to do it. It's not something to fight about and I may have smoked too much sage n sour

Don't worry, nonnie, I get what you're saying. The culture shock would definitely be a major obstacle to overcome. I've said before that I've never once been called a fag or a tranny (well, until I became semi-popular in the tumblr anti-SJW community), but I've heard queer used as a slur my entire life. Living someplace like, for example, Portland would probably make my head explode.

That's all stuff I could work past with time and effort. The real reason I refuse to leave is as you said. I don't want to let fascists take my home from me. I don't want to lie down and accept that some places will always be unsafe for me and mine. I don't want to go to my grave having done nothing for my people.

I want to fight! I want to change my home, not abandon it! I want to make the world a better place! I want everyone, everywhere, to be able to live where they want, without having to worry about their safety!

My ancestors were forced from their homes! I won't be forced from mine! I won't let history repeat itself!

[sonneillonv]

Okay! So I binge-watched A League Of Their Own and my opinions are thus (spoiler warning):

I don’t really like Greta and Carson. Like... I don’t much like either of them as people AND I don’t really like them as a couple. Absolutely no interest whatsoever in watching them make out and go through drama. No stakes whatsoever for me when Charlie came home - it was just another drop in the drama bucket. Here we go again 🙄. Charlie seems sweet, I guess we’ll see his true colors now that he Knows. But frankly, I think both of them act like assholes to others and to each other, and I honestly have a really hard time buying that they’re in love because it doesn’t feel like love to me. It feels like someone desperately painting love on a false front, hoping that’ll turn a cut-out into a real building. I can’t get into it. Like when Greta told Carson not to always come to her with her problems, and Carson was like “??? I’m just trying to TALK to you?” I just. Noped the fuck out. There’s nothing wrong with having a just-physical relationship if that’s what two (or more) people want, but you have to discuss that. It has to be okay all around. I think Greta spends the whole season taking ruthless advantage of Carson, taking exactly what she wants from her and slapping down what Carson wants, giving her just enough little bits of sweetness so she doesn’t wiggle off the hook entirely. Carson had more chemistry with Max, tbh, and I’m not quite sure I ship them...? Because there’s that whole ‘invisible white privilege’ thing going on...? But I definitely like their potential more than I like Greta and Carson’s actuality.

I am REALLY fucking invested in what Clance and Guy are going through. That sweet baby boy better come back alive and intact from this war or I s2g I’m gonna set a few tumblr posts on fire. And Clance had better get her comics out there. She is WAY too good to keep her drawings on the kitchen table, and now that she’s moving into more ‘real’ work (like, it can still be superheroes but it will resonate more with folks if it’s about real issues) I seriously think she has nowhere to go but up. I hope to god she and Max can work it out, because I do NOT want to lose Clance to homophobia, I love her so much.

Maxine Chapman has never done a goddamn thing wrong IN HER LIFE and yet she goes around apologizing to people all the time, and it pisses me off. That thing with Bert? Are you SHITTING me? He shows up to her home where she never invited him, where her best friend lives to whom she is not out yet, and hands her that suit and has the unmitigated GALL to be pissed at her because she’s not ready to be out and proud like him. And then SHE apologizes to HIM? Oh fuck no. He could have gotten her fucking lobotomized with that shit, he should have been apologizing to HER. Like, I am not exaggerating, we literally have dialogue in the show about how one family found out their daughter was a lesbian and ‘had her put away’. Max has every reason to be completely terrified of what would happen to her as a black butch lesbian in 1943, and Bert has no right whatsoever to make assumptions about whether she should be Out and how that will affect her. I am so angry about how that scene was handled. How do you walk into a baby queer’s house with a gnc gift and NOT see the terror on her face and see her frantically trying to explain your visit to her housemate who is eying you like you’re the one who handed Eve an apple and recognize that you fucked up.

Esther’s okay, I guess. Once again, she strikes me as a little bit of a jerk and I’m just not sure I actually like her with Max. Maybe it has less to do with her and more to do with how mad I am that Max keeps apologizing for shit that isn’t her fault. It makes me think Esther might take advantage of that or something, even without meaning to. She’s presented as someone who had to fight her way to where she is now, and it makes me wonder if she won’t reflexively try to keep Max down a little bit just so she can feel secure that she’s not about to be shown up.

Lupe, Jess, and Esti are my faves right now, in terms of friendship and family dynamics. I might have a little bit of a crush on Jess, also? But I honestly think I liked Carson best during that very brief honeymoon period when she and Lupe were perfectly in sync and playing ruthless baseball and finishing each other’s sentences and mirroring each other’s signs. As soon as Carson turned against Lupe I was like “oh so the farm girl goes IN the trash, got it”. Lupe and Jess trying to co-parent Esti despite Jess not speaking her language and them not really being a couple is the most wonderful hilarious thing I saw on this show, and Esti’s fierce love and loyalty toward Jess even though they communicate almost entirely through gestures is just *chef’s kiss*. And poor Esti, god, when she made that comment about how she feels like a ghost because she can’t talk to anyone, my heart fucking broke. But even then, Jess is right there proving that love isn’t what you say, it’s what you do, and you can tell if someone loves you by their actions. Jess never treats Esti like a ghost. When she runs off to the bus station, Jess is the first to notice she’s disappeared and to CARE about what her absence means. I honestly feel less charitable toward the rest of the team partially BECAUSE they ignore Esti so much. That little girl is freshly sixteen in ep08 and Jess is the ONLY one actively taking care of her??? TF is wrong with y’all? That is a whole baby trying to make it in a foreign country where she doesn’t even speak the language! Huddle up on her, damn.

So anyway, those are my thoughts on season 1, do with them what you will.

[thefreeblog]

So people are crazy for ITSAY and IPYTM. I seriously disliked them (hate is a step too far) mostly because I couldn't stand Teh's character, like, at all. If you enjoyed them, can you help me figure out what I'm missing and why everyone loved them so much??

Hello there. Thanks for the ask lovely.

I am in mid of watching IPTYM but finished ITSAY.

Just a couple of minutes of watching the first episode I realised its going to be good. It's not a run of the mill kind of BL you would usually expect. You could say it is a real life portrayal of queer coming of age story. It is hard hitting and ugly.

Now these kind of stories don't usually make for rewatches and for the same reason might not appeal to everyone.

The USP of this BL( I would not call it a BL actually, it comes under thought provoking media more than anything else) is its characters and their actual real life struggles. Nothing is sugar coated in this one.

So If you didn't like Teh's character, then I can see why you didn't like it. Because the story is essentially about Teh and Oh-Aew growing up and how it impacts the other.

Teh usually is indecisive but when he takes decisions they are spectacularly wrong. But I think the story does a good job of showing the consequences of his decisions.

I might sound repetitive but believe it or not it is how it happens in real life. Teh and Oh-Aew come from different type of families, that also has an impact on how they are or what they do. Teh's mother is traditional, she heavily depends on the concept of the man of the family. This could have impacted how Teh sees accepting himself as queer would not be manly enough for his mother.

I have seen internalised homophobia in real life and let's just say it's not pretty. Loving a person who does not accept themselves (queer or not) is just a lost cause and it's depicted so beautifully through Oh-Aew.

For me I don't mind complex characters(that's a lie I actually love them) and Teh is extremely complex but quite sensitive. And that's where he comes of as not caring or selfish may be. He is fighting his internal daemons. For whole life he is compared to his elder brother (who is so good by the way) and when he sees his best friend also becoming a competition for him it was natural how he reacted. But all this is not overly dramatic or sensational, it's so true to how it would happen in my or your family. Most of Teh's insecurities stem from the comparison to his elder brother, but despite that he is the one who he talks to. Which was such a good storytelling choice.

I think you have to be open to the concept that, not always the lead characters would be text book perfect, that's not how it works in real life. In the real world people are scared, selfish, stupid, sometimes dry. Not everyone is courageous enough to be themselves and that's all right.

What matters is the journey and whether they learn from it.

Other than story itself, ITSAY delivers on all other departments as well. The cinematography is absolute best I have ever seen. The actor duo has depths. Editing and back ground music stand out. I loved the little call backs of various things like the coconut smell or the back itching or the bra colour, absolutely genius script. There is lots of symbolism going on as well. Like the underwater scene, or the tutoring etc.

May be this is the reason it's favourite for many people. But then it also comes down to your personal preferences and what you like to watch. Though I liked it, I don't think I would rewatch it. Atleast not in near future. After I finished ITSAY I didn't immediately start IPYTM because I knew it's gonna be similar and more realistic as they step in the real world as a couple. For me it depends on my mood what I watch at that time.

Currently I don't want to see people cry so IPYTM is on hold lolzz.

So yeah I can totally see why you don't like it or not particularly a fan of it.

Anyways this became too long sorry for that. But hope this answers your question somewhat.

Let me know what kind of BLs you like? What are you enjoying currently?