#Namjoon's year ahead birthday reading

[jiminrings]

fail-safe (2)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 8k

glimpse: yoongi got everything he ever wanted and you've heard nothing about it, so you're thankful.

alternatively, yoongi reminds you of home in more ways than one.

[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]

[ a Lot of angst, brother's best friend AND single dad au, eventual fluff, a lot of yearning but For What, they reunite but at what cost rlly, jealousy, self-loathing, unrequited love (initial), deja vu but in the worst possible form, eventual redemption in the next parts ]

notes: i am So sorry for this .

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even reading ur thoughts in the tags give me life :) | series masterlist

FIVE YEARS LATER

The trip back home wasn’t as rough as Yoongi expected it to be.

Somehow, there’s a huge difference between sitting in economy seats versus first-class seats, even if they’re situated on the same aircraft. When he left, Yoongi was irritable (amongst other things) to keep bumping elbows with everyone else; now that he’s back, he almost misses the ruckus in the cabin that’s far too cramped for everyone who could afford it.

Yoongi used to hate people like himself — atleast the version that he is now. He hated bastards sitting upfront in seats that reclined all the way back and ate off plates instead of noisy, flimsy plastic containers. Back then, deep down to his very core, he wanted that lifestyle for himself. To become bigger and better than he could ever imagine for the life ahead of him was always the goal.

Now that he’s at the peak, maybe even being the peak himself, he feels weirdly homesick.

“You need to bundle up all the way, Haneul. They’re gonna scold me if you’re not covered from head to toe,” Yoongi playfully chides his son, the insecurity and nervousness underneath his tone flying right over his head. It’s not even that cold, but still, a huge part of Yoongi worries.

He worries everyday if he’s a good dad to his four-year old. He worries if he’s good enough to be a solo parent because after all, he’s the one who has main custody of Haneul anyway. He worries and worries, but there’s nothing quite like the trepidation he feels being back home with everyone who has ever known him prior to all this success, suddenly seeing him come home.

It should be the opposite way around, that’s what everyone says to him. Yoongi had been queasy the whole flight back home despite the flight being one of the smoothest trips he’s ever been on in his life. He’s nervous to be back where he had been born and raised and he doesn’t know what’s that supposed to mean, except for the fact that he has an inkling of what the weight in his chest pertains to.

He’s back because it’s your mother’s 60th birthday. He’s back because her and Namjoon had asked him to, and he obliged without even thinking about it. Yoongi had offered numerous times to throw a party for the woman who had practically raised him alongside his closest friend, and even if Namjoon had backed him up on the grand idea for such a large milestone, she said no. All she wanted was for everyone to be back home, and Yoongi couldn’t say no.

Neither could you.

Yoongi is not the most modest person alive, but he is at his humblest when he drives the long way home just to delay the inevitable. He’s happy to the point he could be sick. He can’t tell if it’s the joy or the anxiety in his chest that makes it tighten, almost unbearably so, that he makes Haneul reach up to his forehead to check if he has a fever.

Yoongi’s home.

Not Los Angeles home, and not New York home. Not his home with a closet that’s the size of his childhood house’s living room, and not his space with the big windows and concierge downstairs.

Yoongi’s home — where the streets are narrow and the stairs are creaky; where this time, it’s all of him and none of you.

.

.

.

Enduring is different than working.

You’ve realized that the two concepts are drastically different as soon as Yoongi left, leaving you to survive the remaining years of your degree before you had to face the reality that you had to work to the bone for the rest of your life if you wanted a shot at living an average, food-stocked-in-the-fridge kind of life.

You didn’t know anyone who was connected to someone of importance one way or another, your family had zero ties, and you graduated from a university that raised more eyebrows in confusion than it tilted heads in awe. Your degree does havehigh promises as far as everyone in your town was concerned — it does and it should be, if only you were born and raised in different circumstances.

There’s not one acclaimed and high-profit company that would ever accept the likes of you. You worked hard and even if there were no exchange student agreements and Latin honors to show for it, you really did. You gave your best to graduate with a degree you never really liked and was only forced upon you, all for the promise of a future. It didn’t matter if it was extremely good or bad — everyone else just said you had to have one.

Your misfortune is what it is. It’s empty and haunting and the two weeks you had spent in the city right after graduating is truly something you never want to relive.

In hindsight, gambling the rest of your pocket money on a bus fare in your last day of job-hunting in the city at the time was a stupid decision. It was impulsive and irresponsible and everything your family scolded you for, what Yoongi hated you for, but it ended up being the single best gamble you’ve ever made, even above entry-level lottery tickets.

The same circumstances that held you back from where you’re supposed to head ended up propelling you to somewhere far, far different. Your degree became completely irrelevant, and the fact that you had nobody of significance in the city– no person to pass malice and gossip onto— made you a manager.

It had been a gamble to go work for an unknown entertainment company, much more a sinking one. It was an insult to have busted your ass back in your hometown, studying and working at the same time, only to work professionally in the city for a field that you didn’t even study about.

Your fate is what it is. You’ve endured and worked hard enough to the point that you had finally lucked out. Being the manager of someone who had later turned out to become the biggest actor in the industry, even in Hollywood, became your biggest break up to date.

Your way back home feels like an embrace you’ve denied yourself for far too long. You’ve mainly stayed in Seoul apart from the several hundred times you had to come with Jungkook for filming outside of the country, yet you could only count on one hand the amount of times you came home without anyone telling you to.

Coming home had become foreign to you as much as leaving it had become familiar.

“I’m near, Joon,” you hum to your phone, taking a quick glance at the cake you’ve strapped to your front seat. “It’s only us, right?”

“Yeah. Just us.”

Maybe it’s your fault for changing what us meant throughout the past five years, but Namjoon’s definition never changed. Maybe it’s your fault for not clarifying what he meant when you’re still kilometers away, when you can still leave, but nonetheless, you were cornered.

Us meant what it used to be when you were a kid in your childhood home — when Yoongi was still in the picture and you didn’t hate him for it.

In the grand scheme of things, you realize that Yoongi was right — nothing valuable was left for him in your hometown anymore. He was as right as you were wrong every time he went on a monologue of how he thinks there’s no problem in him admitting that he’s full of envy. He had been right for being bitter that there’s people who have and get much more than him, more than what they deserve, by not even putting a fourth of the effort that he does.

In the same way that he was right, you were wrong for thinking each time that Yoongi would soon outgrow his ambitions and instead, see things for what they are. You were wrong for thinking Yoongi would stoop down to your page, much less ever think of it.

Yoongi was right for saying that his stomach’s made of steel, and you were wrong for trying to convince him otherwise. He’s always had the appetite for more, the digestion of whatever life throws at him coming easy. Yoongi can choke down the reality of leaving Namjoon, your brother, who’s been buddies with him even before they could talk. He could forgo the only brother figure he’s ever had in his life if it means making something of himself.

He doesn’t get constipated from the reality of no longer having the homemade meals your mother would make that the younger, more innocent, and less ambitious version of him would literally jumps fences for. In fact, Yoongi’s palate craved something more foreign and sophisticated; not familiar, hearty meals served in dinnerware dulled from years of routine.

His stomach doesn’t turn thinking about how the skyline he said he’d never get tired of, wouldn’t appear in his new side of the world. The little, unassuming, and far too comfortable version of him who used to chase sunrises with his bike as a child and chase sunsets with his car as a teenager, doesn’t feel like he’d be poisoned if he were to see the sunlight in a high-rise instead of a run-down pavement.

Yoongi’s right when he said he had a tolerance because he doesn’t even get heartburn when you cry for him to no longer leave. You’re not in the position to beg him to stay (and you probably never will be) because as you’ve come to realize, he would only stay for the big things.

The only thing that would anchor Min Yoongi into place and dissuade him from chasing more is by being the most. One would have to be extremely significant, even bigger than Namjoon’s brotherhood, your mother’s impact, and what your hometown has to offer. You can’t even hold a candle to the aforementioned.

In Yoongi’s grand plan that’s as big as the galaxy, you’re merely a speck of dust that had the luck of hovering around him. You realized it back then when you blew over and fought with him right before his flight; right when Yoongi was clutching his one-way ticket, right when one foot was already out of the door.

“But the future that you want is not easy, Yoongi!” you gritted through your teeth, the grip you had on his suitcase too visceral that it bends under the pressure. Yoongi snatches his luggage from you in a blink, nostrils flaring in annoyance.

“Of course you’d be the first to say that,” he seethed, eyes wild and unforgiving. He drills his finger into his temple, inching towards you with an anger he had never shown before. “You don’t work as hard as I do, Y/N! You always settle. You always go for mediocre. You never put your head into anything because you’re too immature for any of this shit!”

“I’m not immature, you asshole!”

“Yes you are, you dipshit!” Yoongi scoffed, throwing his head back. “You cave and you bend and you let the whole world fuck you over, then you come running to me whining. You don’t have a passion in life, Y/N! You’re begging me to stay in the same predicament that you’re in now, what’s not immature about that?”

“When you leave now and decide to come back one day, Yoongi,” you spat with resentment, the tears that pour down your cheeks no longer out of sadness but instead, out of promise. “Nothing will ever be the same.”

“Good,” Yoongi clipped, turning his back on you for the last time. “Good for me.”

In the grand scheme of things, you realize that when Yoongi left five years ago, he also took the large chunk of your soul that had been shaped over and over again the entire time that he stood by you. He’d gotten his hands on the security and contentment you used to take pride in, weaponizing them against you.

You’re unsure if you have to thank him for that, the uncertainty being on par with the insecurity you had felt when he left you with his truth.

When you visit your mother for her birthday and see Yoongi emerge from your childhood bedroom, hand-in-hand with a toddler that looks like an exact carbon copy of him, you’re unsure of what to do either.

You’re not hysterical in the same way you stood before him when you even considered ripping up his plane ticket, but on the other hand, Yoongi’s inconsolable in the way he flounders before you.

“Y/N,” he says breathless, the lump in his throat even bigger than the tiny fist that grips his hand. “I… I-I didn’t-…” Yoongi tries again, his mouth dry at your appearance. “You came home.”

“I’m only visiting,” you answer, the curt smile on your face that Yoongi recognizes to be the one you’d give to strangers making his blood run cold. “I don’t plan on staying.”

.

.

.

You’re numb if that’s the word for it.

Your chest buzzes emptily the same way your fingers clench around nothing. You look at everywhere and everyone but Yoongi and his son. It’s nauseating to even think that everyone’s eating dinner as if everything’s okay; what’s even more sickening is that somehow, you’re willing to settle for it.

Yoongi is your mom’s cross-stitch project of a teddy bear that she hung up in your room one day when you were in school that you never took off by the time you came home. He’s a dent at the corner of your gate that could’ve only been made by Namjoon when he was practicing his soccer skills. He’s a Snellen chart that nobody really uses, stuck to the side of the refrigerator that you walk past.

Yoongi’s here, there, and everywhere, but you don’t question it. He’s simply there in your orbit and even if he exists, you don’t follow up on him.

You stay quiet at the talks of the sleeping situation because it turns out that Yoongi’s family had long sold their house. You never knew that throughout the several times you came down to visit.

Frankly, you’re relieved to barely know anything about Yoongi these days.

“You and Haneul can take my room,” you half-heartedly offer, not because it’s Yoongi who tugs at your heartstrings and demands your pity, but his child instead. The two, three (?) year-old baby (read: you’re too hesitant to ask what his age is because if it’s anything higher, then that meant Yoongi had moved on earlier than you did) you didn’t even know existed because you’ve completely cut off Yoongi from your life and refused to listen to Namjoon every time he talked about him, will be sleeping in your room; it just happens that he’s with his dad.

Yoongi’s awed at your preposition but he’s even more worried. He can’t tell a single thought that’s going on behind your eyes nor a single hint behind your tone. You’re formal; neutral. You’re detached even when you utter Haneul’s name and gesture them to your bedroom as if he hasn’t spent years and years of his life in your home.

“Where will you sleep?” he furrows his brows, his hand that had been rubbing circles on Haneul’s back faltering.

He’s asking because he doesn’t know anything about you at this point. He can’t tell if it’s the indigestion he has from resisting to talk your ear off at the dining table (like he’s always did when you were young) because you barely even spoke to him, or if it’s the overwhelming feeling of being back home with everything feeling familiar but you — either way, Yoongi thinks he’s gonna be sick.

“I’ll sleep at my mom’s,” you purse your lips, leaving him at that.

Between the yearning, demanding looks you get from Yoongi, the nosy and concerned glances from Namjoon, and even the guilt that you get from keeping all of your emotions from your mom when you used to confide in her religiously when you were younger — you’re drained. The urge to wash off all your anxiety can’t be done in your childhood home’s small bathroom. You can’t with the faulty water heater (you have to keep one finger pressed on the button at all times to keep it running) because you can’t even cry in peace under the either scorching or freezing water.

You can’t evade everything by grabbing a drink from the fridge that runs loudly as if it’s excavating oil from underneath your floors. You can’t curl up on the couch that’s become worn with age because there’s dents of you and Yoongi, the only two people who had sat on it the most every late night for years on end. You can’t romanticize any of the things in your home that have brought you joy all your life at this point in time.

To sleep under the same roof with your mother and brother again after so long feels foreign. It’s a language you can perceive but can’t translate and the frustration that comes with it seeps into your bones. There must be some common ground between the three of you; it should be anything and everything. With Namjoon being a world-renowned football player and you being somewhat accomplished and decorated in your field, you’ve managed to retire your mom early.

The three of you are doing fine. Not one interaction in the past five years has ever felt this tense and unfamiliar, but if you could pick just the odd one out, the very reason why you feel like falling to the floor and crawling your way out of your own home because you feel like you don’t belong to it — it’s Yoongi.

You feel awkward in your own four walls, whereas Yoongi finds your nightlight that you keep tucked in your closet without breaking a sweat.

Namjoon tugs you right when you’re about to call it a day in your mom’s room, his hushed whispers taking you back to when he pleaded for you not to rat them out whenever he and Yoongi crashed at the couch drunk.

“Give them this,” he shoves the can of bug spray into your hands, your immediate reaction making him wrestle with you just to push you closer to your own bedroom.

“No, Joon. You give it.”

“Y/N, no. You give it,” he whines, purposely having given Yoongi extra sheets and blankets earlier without the bug spray so you’d have something to take to him.

“I don’t wanna see Yoongi,” you whisper, trying to pathetically regain your footing even if you know your attempts go futile against an athlete for a brother.

“You think I don’t know that?” he snarks, giving you one last shove with a stern finger. “We’re gonna talk about whatever the hell happened between you and him, but right now, you’re gonna offer him bug spray like the gracious hosts that we are!”

You crash too far to your door that it could be mistaken as a knock, making you hiss because you know you can’t retract it. You actually knock this time, being met with nothing but a quiet Yoongi behind your own door.

Even when he opens it fully, even when it’s your own room — you enter hesitantly.

Yoongi’s already made a home out of your room. He knew where your nightlight was, knew which good extension cord (that didn’t spark every time it shifted) to plug into the wall, and even knew where you kept the magazine that you had to wedge between your windows whenever they didn’t fully close.

“Namjoon told me to give you this,” you put your hand out, looking at everything but Yoongi. You could look at Haneul who’s sprawled in the middle of the bed, but it isn’t any different than looking at his dad himself.

Yoongi, on the other hand, can’t see anything but you. He feels like an intruder who just happened to know the confines of your life almost better than his own, holding bug spray and the remainder of whatever recognition you have left for him.

“Will we ever be alright?” he whispers, not for the sake of keeping Haneul asleep, but for the sake of his sanity. If he makes his voice any louder, he’ll spill all his grievances and question if he had ever meant anything to you.

“We’ve always been alright,” you smile tightly, wrapping your hands around your back.

“You know what I’m talking about,” he pleads, swallowing the lump in his throat. “When did you ever give me bug spray? When did you have to knock on my door, o-or when did you ever have to treat me like I’m some guest and not a huge part of your life?” Yoongi stumbles over his words, correcting himself with a huff. “Most of your life.”

The sarcasm that coats the last of his words makes you twitch, the clench in your jaw being unmistakeable. Yoongi almost forgot what you looked like whenever you argued with him — talked to him, even. “Why are you only bitching about this to me and not to Namjoon? He’s the one who told me to give you the bug spray.”

“This is not about the bug spray!”

“What is it about then? Is this, is this some sort of long-winded euphemism that involves bug spray? What is it Yoongi, are you gonna hound me for an essay about it?” you spit, exhaling heavily. Haneul twitches in his sleep from the corner of your eye. “You grew up and so did I.”

Yoongi flinches like you’ve shot him.

“Don’t do this to me, kid. Don’t do this to us.”

You flinch because anything is better than to have him dig up his old nickname for you as if he’s close; as if he’s still the Yoongi that you chased, as if you’re still the Y/N he looked out for.

“Don’t call me that.”

( ♡ )

Yoongi’s in the kitchen with your mom.

He looks domestic this way, hair tousled and pajamas loose. Even if you have unbridled internet access (courtesy of the high-speed package you split with Namjoon for your mom even if the most she does online is repost motivational quotes, reels of Namjoon and his team, and clips of Jungkook where you’re seen), you can’t muster the courage to search Yoongi’s name and what he’s made of himself.

You’re too scared to search up articles about his success as a producer because if you do, you’re terrified by the thought of accidentally clicking a link that leads you to a page of him and his ex-wife.

You’re too weak to search up the songs he’s had a hand in (that is if you hadn’t heard them before) because you fear that if you even listen for a single second, you might hear how perfect his life has been ever since he left behind everything that he’s ever known.

Even now, you’re too uneasy at the sight of him. He’s in your home and he looks like the version of himself that had never left. The Yoongi in front of you, sitting on your seat at the dining table and peeling tangerines with your mom, resembles the Yoongi that would top off your glass with water whenever you ate with him.

It’s as if you’ve always been in touch for the past five years; it’s as if Yoongi has never aged and you never drifted apart.

“You’re awake,” he remarks, greeting you first before your mom could even register your presence.

“You’re still here,” you reply, the exhale that leaves you making you deflate in reflection. Breakfast isn’t ready yet, but Yoongi’s already slid over a plate to you.

“There. Just how you like them.”

There’s tangerines with barely any pith on them, and iced tea that had more ice cubes in them than there are in the freezer.

Yoongi smiles at you like you’re the old you again; the one who is more forgiving, and the one who is more hopeful.

( ♡ )

If it wasn’t for your brother guilt-tripping you into joining the impromptu road trip, you never would have come.

You didn’t want to come with them in the first place because the very thought of hanging out with Namjoon and Yoongi like old times, this time with the addition of the latter’s son, was too close; too familial. The three already knew each other and had kept in touch and you’re the odd one out. You’re the only planet out of the system and once you’ve come to think of it, that bit of their galaxy never failed. Whether you were in it or not didn’t matter — atleast that’s what you thought.

Yoongi got everything he ever wanted and you’ve heard nothing about it.

You blocked his number and on every social media account he had to his name. Even with Namjoon as a prominent variable, you’re amazed to how you’ve heard little to nothing about Yoongi ever since he left your hometown. You still talked to your brother, of course, but there was an obvious difference to how your conversations went because none of them ever went to Yoongi.

You didn’t tell him to not talk about Yoongi at all. You didn’t instruct him to never utter a single word about his closest friend whom you also grew up with. You never told Namjoon anything concerning Yoongi and what unfolded between the two of you before you left, and yet, it’s almost as if he had already been in your mind and knew exactly what to do.

You’ve come to realize that the prospect of growing up never used to be in your cards. The whole concept of it sat at the very back of your mind, the only times you used to pay attention to it being whenever Yoongi picked at your brain.

You thought your world would have ended when you were 19. You didn’t think you would grow up and see past high school. You didn’t think you would finish college, much less pick a degree to pursue in the first place. You didn’t think of having a future — you didn’t think you’d be living it now in this way.

“Joon,” you mutter, voice barely being heard at the expanse of the balcony you’re in. It’s his balcony in his vacation house he barely stays in, overlooking the waves by the beach he isn’t even that fond of to begin with.

Yoongi and Haneul are already asleep, the father-son duo knocking out way ahead than everyone else. They stayed with the two of you in the balcony hours ago, the bug spray in both the adult and kid edition being proof of it.

Tonight, alone, felt different. It’s as if the younger version of you was gazing out to what was supposed to be your future, except neither the past nor present variant of you could have ever had it for yourself.

“Hm?” he hums, sipping the last of his drink while he’s sat at the far end. You know about each other’s presence, and while years ago, the two of you would’ve been giddy staying in a house as grand as this whilst drinking behind your mom’s back, you and Namjoon grew up. You didn’t fight or anything — you simply grew up and grew apart.

“I never said it before, but thank you,” you exhale, clenching Haneul’s towel as you try to warm your hands. You may have spent the better part of the day not even acknowledging his dad, but you did fawn over him like you would with any other child. “Thank you for not telling me a thing about Yoongi.”

“You’re welcome,” Namjoon finally speaks as soon as he grasps what you were talking about, the smile on his face only lasting for a second. “If it were up to me though, I would have told you everything.”

“Good thing it’s not up to you, hm?” you laugh uneasily, running your hand through your hair. You didn’t know how much you had to be grateful for until Yoongi came back and reminded you of how little you knew about him.

Namjoon breathlessly laughs, looking up at the sky to try and condense everything that has happened through his words before you leave again. “I would have told you that he confessed what happened that time you ran away from home a couple years back, and I beat his ass. We didn’t talk for like, I don’t know, three months? Even when I was still training in the US that time.”

Your lack of a reply is what makes him take notice, the stunned look you have on your face making him snort.

“What?” he questions, eyebrows furrowed as he throws a stray bottle cap at you. “Why are you so shocked? I love him like a brother, but you’re my actual sister,” he confides his loyalty to you, yet you don’t even have a second to express your awe before he opens his mouth again. “I would have told you that I became the best man at his wedding. Even mom was there.”

“You can stop telling me these things now.”

Namjoon exhales, already feeling deep in his chest that you’re gearing up to leave. He wants to get the last word in, not to prove himself, but to try and vindicate you and the quiet suffering you endured without telling anyone.

“I would have told you that Yoongi kept trying to come back to you.”

( ♡ )

Haneul wakes up before Yoongi does.

You’re confused for a second because the moment you hear the lightest footsteps that you ever could pad along the kitchen, you become completely disoriented. There’s a child that looks like Yoongi, wandering off to where you are.

For the briefest second, your heart drops because the whole situation resembles a vignette. In another lifetime, it could’ve been your child, your Haneul, waking up before his dad, trudging to the kitchen where you are is if you’re his mom.

He’s an observant kid, far too trusting unlike his dad who used to scold you to hell and back for even entertaining strangers that asked you for directions. He’s friendly to you; to someone Yoongi had introduced as appa’s close friend. There isn’t even a single hint in how he introduced you to Haneul that the two of you stopped being close. Yoongi didn’t leave the faintest indicator to him that you most probably hated his guts and would probably choose a lifetime where he hadn’t even been in your life at all.

Haneul is innocent to yours and Yoongi’s history and it’s going to stay that way. You don’t meant to change whatever he introduced you as because by the time your mom’s birthday week is over, or by the time Yoongi takes the hint and leaves your hometown again, you would be a fleeting persona in Haneul’s life.

You’re not his mom. You’re not anyone of significance to either him and his dad.

“Good morning,” he greets shyly, his diction telling of how just attentive Yoongi is as a dad. You mostly listened to whatever Namjoon told you last night anyway, tuning out the parts where he rounded to how Yoongi had been miserable not having any contact with you (you don’t believe that at all), and instead zeroing in on the large details that you’ve missed. “Auntie.”

You smile tightly, patting the empty seat beside to you to which he climbs effortlessly.

Haneul doesn’t know you, but you do know him. You know that his dad is a doting, slightly paranoid one whose current dilemma is whether or not enrolling him in kindergarten early or waiting for one more year. You know that Yoongi doesn’t want him to know about the existence of iPads for probably ever, so he spends almost every waking moment talking to him to the point that Haneul’s eloquent at speaking for his age. You also know that Namjoon’s his godfather, and that he had looked after him for a whole day by himself when Yoongi went to settle his divorce.

Haneul doesn’t know you, but you know his parents. You know Yoongi is his dad, and more importantly, that Hyewon is his mom — the same Hyewon who had been with him in your room before, and the same woman Yoongi shared his success with when he made it big.

“Hi,” you greet him softly, handing him his bottle for him to drink from. It’s a warm, domestic vignette for a split second. You’ve watched Yoongi far too many times at the corner of your eye to know where he gets the distilled water. “Why are you up already?”

“Uncle Joonie promised yesterday we can watch the sunrise together,” he says in between sips, letting you comb his hair into order unconsciously. You didn’t even think of it before your hand sweeps the strands scattered on his forehead, the hum you have at the back of your throat pausing when you realized what you’ve done.

“He’s still sleeping right now. He had uh, a long night,” you mutter, at a loss for a child-friendly alternative word for hangover. You keep your hands to yourself because you fear falling into the domesticity that isn’t yours to relax into; if you think about it for a second longer, you’d think that Haneul is yours and Yoongi is the final piece to your puzzle.

“Oh. But I, I wanna watch,” Haneul frowns, brows softly furrowed at your revelation. He’s not close to throwing a tantrum, but the upset expression on his face keeps tugging at your heart to cave.

“You can take your dad with you,” you offer, willing to knock on Yoongi’s door if it meant his son smiling again.

Haneul shakes his head at that, looking up at the ceiling as he recalls the events of last night before being tucked in. “Nuh-uh. Appa had a long night too. He just kept crying.”

A part of you wishes that Haneul didn’t speak so clearly.

“What?” you clarify, heart skipping a beat the more you replay his words in your head.

“Crying?” Haneul repeats, tilting his head as he tries to figure you out. He says it again for a third time as if you needed any clarification of the word and not because of your disbelief that his dad was capable of it. “Like this,” he adds, pretending to bawl with his hands wiping at his eyes.

The scene before you is your brief moment of reprieve, making you chuckle breathlessly as you try to regain your senses. Whether or not Haneul was sure of what he was saying, if Yoongi had cried, it’s most probably not because of anything that has to do with you.

“Oh. So that’s what it means. Thank you, Haneul,” you laugh lowly, patting him on the head until you retract your hand again in realization.

Haneul thinks nothing of your trepidation; he thinks nothing of the yearning behind your eyes, and thinks nothing of the tremble in your voice.

“Can we watch the sunrise together?” he asks, eyes looking up at you as if doing so would be the equivalent of hanging the stars up for him in the sky.

(Read: it probably is, and in another lifetime, or in the far-shot that it happens in this one, you’d do it if he asks you to do so.)

You want to ask Haneul why it’s you who he wants to accompany him, but you don’t. You can wake up either Yoongi and Namjoon to go with him instead, but you won’t.

In another lifetime, this would have been your son, your Haneul asking to watch the sunrise with you. There’s a Yoongi-shaped hole and a Haneul-shaped vacancy in your chest, but you don’t prod about it further.

You don’t question what’s happening, and maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny part of you that wants to fully accept it instead of hesitating to do so.

“Okay.”

Haneul puts his hand in yours, but you don’t pull away. You just hold him tighter.

( ♡ )

A large part of you forgot that for as long as Yoongi’s here, he’ll treat every interaction you have with Namjoon as an open invitation for him. He had always been this way; for as long as you could remember, he’ll include himself even if he isn’t needed nor wanted.

You can’t count the amount of times your mom had berated Namjoon for something and oddly enough, Yoongi also happened to be there. Whether it was to rat out on his own best friend or being at the receiving end of said scolding, Yoongi jumped at every opportunity to come along as a package deal.

When you asked Namjoon to drink with you at the balcony two days ago, Yoongi butted in and asked what brand of alcohol he should buy you at the convenience store. When you were on the way home and asked your brother what he wanted from the rest stop, Yoongi said he wanted the biggest can of coffee you could find.

And when you asked Namjoon what time you should come to the stadium to watch him practice, Yoongi said he’ll pack you an extra cap while Haneul bonded with your mom.

Sometime long ago, you and Yoongi saw each other eye to eye. You can’t determine when and how exactly, but there was a point in your life where everything you had to say to each other was what the other was thinking all along. Nowadays, you can’t even look at Yoongi in the eye while all he wanted was for you to return his gaze.

If there’s just one thing though, one single variable that remained unchanged between the two of you, it would be Namjoon.

The way Yoongi engages you in conversation this time around is not to trap you and to ramp himself up to apologize again, but purely, it’s to talk about your brother. Namjoon’s a lot of things, and one thing you pray would remain unchanged is the love you have for each other.

“Who would have thought, right?” Yoongi nudges, asking you sincerely. “Who would have thought that the Namjoon who had knockoff cleats years ago would become this world-famous athlete?” he chuckles, shaking his head as he once again tries to digest the fact that this very stadium in your hometown had been built and refashioned in his honor.

You laugh genuinely, the sound being the first he’s ever heard in such a long time.

“Abibas.”

Yoongi has his lips parted, shocked that you were even answering him.

“Abibas. That was the brand of his knockoff cleats,” you chuckle, bowing your head as you try to contain your laughter. “He could’ve bought the original with his allowance and everything, but he split it so he could also buy me knockoffs.”

Yoongi laughs at the memory you jog up in his mind, remembering distinctly how Namjoon kept asking for his opinion repeatedly on which colorway of the knockoff pair he should gift you.

Even if things are still tense between you, even if Namjoon is the only salvation that Yoongi could bring up in a conversation to which you don’t run from, nothing from the past five years could ever take this moment away from you.

The three of you have grown up. Some faster than they’d like, and some because they had no choice but to — nonetheless, in this moment, it’s the three of you back at home like it used to be.

“Namjoon was always meant for greatness. Even from the start,” you murmur, your attention waiting on Yoongi’s response even if your eyes were on Namjoon in the field.

“You are too,” he interjects quickly, voice defensive at the lack of your name to your own sentence.

“No I’m not,” you snort, crossing your arms. You’re not angry when you say it; in fact, you’re calm as if you’ve always seen it coming. “You told me I’d amount to nothing.”

You’re calm, seemingly at peace with what you just said and what Yoongi had ingrained in your head before, but he’s the furthest thing from it. His mouth hangs open, chest tightening impossibly as he shakes his head eagerly.

“I never said that!”

You’re about to counter him when you hear a familiar holler reach you at the lower section of the bleachers, eyes perking to see a familiar figure who isn’t blood-related to you.

“Y/N!” Jimin runs up to you faster than to whenever he passes the ball to Namjoon, engulfing you in a massive hug that forces you up to your feet before you know it.

“Oh my god, Jimin! I didn’t know you were gonna be here!” you awe at the sight of him, unwilling to break away from the embrace until he does so. It’s been ages since you’ve seen him, the second-best player in the team (you’re biased because of course Namjoon had been the best player to you since you were kids) being the closest member to you out of everyone.

Jimin doesn’t care for Yoongi. He knows of the guy and he doesn’t want to know any more than he already does. He doesn’t even acknowledge the guy’s presence; all he does is squeeze you tighter and twirl you briefly in his arms.

“Fuck, me neither. Heaven must’ve healed my ankle quicker so I could come here and see you,” he flirts playfully, earning a well-deserved eye roll from you.

“And you know, play for Korea.”

“Eh. That too, I guess,” he shrugs, sitting at the seat beside you. He looks straight at you and only you — Jimin only pauses to snort to himself when he notices that Yoongi’s squirming in his seat, beyond annoyed and frustrated.

( ♡ )

On the fifth day of Yoongi staying over at your house, there’s a power outage.

The sound of everything shutting off together in sync makes you jolt, the collective groan you hear outside from the neighborhood comforting you in solidarity.

You can only make out a grunt from Namjoon and a gasp from your mom until you hear the trembling voice of Haneul, the sound of a cry that crawls up his throat putting everyone on their feet.

“Oh baby, it’s okay, it’s okay! It’s just a little dark, that’s all,” Yoongi pipes up instantly, scooping him up in his arms without having to fumble for where he is because he could practically locate his son in his sleep.

You didn’t want for it to be a power outage, but oddly enough, you feel sorry that it happened while you’re here. “It’s okay, Haneul,” you whisper as consolation, the dark of the night shielding you from how Yoongi’s eyes widen at your cooing for his son. “Mom, where did you put that generator I got you?”

“About that,” she sheepishly shrugs, turning on her phone to illuminate her shyness. “I donated it last year to the public school nearby.”

“It’s gonna get so hot,” Namjoon groans, the sound of him clumsily feeling around for the lights alerting Haneul briefly. He comforts him instantly, finally turning on the torch in his phone instead of relying on his instincts. “Don’t cry, Haneul, alright? Uncle Joonie’s gonna get the candles and the flashlights.”

“I’ll go try to find a guy,” you get up as soon as Namjoon hands you a flashlight, your contribution to help instantly being shut down.

“You can’t just try to find a guy, Y/N. That’s dangerous,” Yoongi scoffs, putting a hand on your forearm to pull you.

“I meant on my phone, Yoongi,” you grit. “I was gonna go outside to try and look for a signal.”

“That’s still dangerous,” he narrows his eyes at you as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Give me a break,” you mutter, removing his hold from you. You’d save your pride and actually go outside if not for your mom interjecting that she knows an electrician from her contacts.

Namjoon comes back after his quest for battery-powered fans and flashlights, unaware of how Yoongi’s protective streak for you practically never disappeared; in fact, it came back twofold. “Whole neighborhood’s out. Must be a broken transformer or something.”

Your mom consoles Haneul in her arms.

Namjoon waits by the gate for the electrician.

You and Yoongi clean the fridge up before anything spoils.

In between getting food out and embracing Haneul every now and then who insisted on obediently sitting atop the counter so he’s closer to his dad, Yoongi holds your hand.

“That’s my hand that you’re holding,” you murmur, assuming that he had mistaken yours for Haneul’s as he’s always chuckled how yours always seemed to be small against his.

Yoongi only hums.

“I know.”

( ♡ )

You’re falling back into your old routine.

Maybe it’s how your mom has to shake you awake because otherwise, you’d sleep through the afternoon and would therefore be unable to sleep through the night. On the other hand, it could be Namjoon who either hounds you to hang out with him or tell you off for clinging to him too much.

Maybe, it’s just Yoongi. It’s him who’s tricking your brain into thinking that has nothing changed with the way he keeps peeling fruits for you and telling you to be safe even if you’re only buying ice cream from the convenience store.

It’s only been a week and a half of almost normalcy, save for the fact that there are certain things and connections you can neither reverse nor rekindle.

You’re convinced, almost fully convinced that history is repeating itself except for the bitter, ugly parts of it that you never want to pop in your head again.

Like the past, Namjoon blocks you for whatever reason in his head but this time he does it to you while you’re on the way to your room, on the quest to retrieve your charger for your phone that you barely even used for work purposes.

“It’s my room. Why can’t I go in my room?” you furrow your brows at him, your amusement turning into annoyance the more that Namjoon pushed you with actual strength instead of playfulness.

“Are you hungry? Let’s go out for dinner,” he changes the subject quickly, turning you towards the stairs.

You shouldn’t have questioned him further — you should’ve left it at that.

“I guess? I’ll just get my purse,” you concede, dodging his attempts to haul you downstairs.

“I’ll pay,” Namjoon insists and although it’s not out of the blue for him, his franticness is what keeps you on edge.

“I still need my-…” you counter, being interrupted when he holds you firmly as you attempt to walk towards your door. Namjoon grips you with a silent plead, one that you can’t even decipher. “What the fuck is going on with you?”

You finally break off his grip at once, walking into your room with a renowned determination.

It’s not only your routine that falls back into place, but it’s your whole worldview that does.

Love is terribly human. It’s a loose thread on your shirt that gets snagged on your doorknob. It’s a coat in your closet waiting to be worn for the supposed perfect time, and when you do, you realize that it no longer fits you.

Love is terribly human, and it is terribly Yoongi, Hyewon, and Haneul.

Love is terribly human and fragile, and it’s Yoongi, Hyewon, and their son sleeping on your bed.

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #4 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #4 - sour candy​ pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; HALLOWEEN! summary: with jimin's birthday party coming, you hope that it will be a good opportunity to celebrate jimin's big day and heal namjoon's heart with all your closest friends. however, things take a turn and you start to further question how you feel about jimin and your fwb arrangement with yoongi. when you are confronted by jimin at matthew's halloween frat party, it will challenge you to make a decision that will further change your relationship with him, yoongi, and namjoon for good. warnings: first party of the year at the BETA TAU SIGMA HOUSE!, halloween, multiple house parties, alcohol/recreational drug mentions, swearing, another breakup mayhaps, kissing, mirror sex, yoongi being a little more dom than usual, vampire jimin also deserves a warning, sexy dancing, fingering, CONSENSUAL and PROTECTED sex, penetration, breast play, THINGS GET MESSY but it's NOT IN THE BED, unfinished orgasm, confessions???, ANGST with a side of GUILT note: thank u to @daegudrama (as always) for beta reading this incredibly long chapter + fixing the smutty bits. this was orginally 2 chapters, but i wanted to tie things together here in one big ol' chapter and be evil so i hope you like it. total word count: 12.4k drop date: October 30th, 2023, 11:40am PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #3 | Series Masterlist | #5 →

October 13 (Saturday)

The sun has barely began its ascent in the morning sky, casting a soft, golden hue over the bustling campus of the university.

In the quiet of dawn, the world seems at peace, a stark contrast to everything that has been happening to you and everyone in the house the past week.

Jimin, however, has had little time to appreciate the tranquility of the morning. He finds himself reluctantly attending a brunch event in a neighboring city. This event is orchestrated by Sigma Mu Epsilon’s president, Irene, for one of her sorority gatherings. It is a pledging event as well as a chance for new recruits to network with sorority alumni, which ends with an auction. He doesn’t particularly want to be there; all he craves is a few more hours of sleep and maybe the chance to enjoy a semi-fancy dinner at Yardhouse with his friends later in the evening. Lately, Jimin has been growing tired of his vibrant yet exhausting social life, wondering if perhaps he isn’t cut out for it anymore. Maybe his fatigue is more about Irene than the lifestyle itself. Maybe he has never truly been in love with her. It wouldn’t be the first time he has mentally tapped out of a relationship or a situationship before the other party. He has gone out and slept with countless people over the years. Ever since the virginity race in high school, he hasn’t really stopped. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he has the highest body count in the whole house, just a single person ahead of Jungkook. 

When it comes to Jimin finding people, he becomes intrigued with them because of their appearance and sometimes their charming personality that compliments his own. Most of the flings he’s had only last about 3-4 weeks. 

Irene is the first exception. You’re unsure why Jimin has been with her this long. Today marks 4 months since they’ve been dating, but seeing the way he’s forcing himself to go out for her sake, you aren’t sure he will last much longer.

While Jimin begrudgingly embarks on his mandatory brunch outing, it becomes the perfect cover for Beta Tau Sigma to set the stage for his surprise birthday party. Rising early, you see a glimpse of Jimin on his way out the door in a hurry as you walk downstairs. 

You join Namjoon for breakfast, relieved to see a glimmer of his usual self returning after the rocky events of the past few days. As you engage in conversation, you encourage him to relax and unwind at Jimin's party later that night. He smiles in response, promising to do just that.

Meanwhile, Seokjin has a friend who is also attending the brunch: Tiffany Young, a graduate student in Sigma Mu Epsilon who is in the sorority event's organizing committee. She is currently sending him real-time updates on the brunch schedule. Jin enters the dining area walking as he types on his phone. 

"Tiffany just texted me saying they’re going to be late," he says rather bluntly, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at. 

"Typical sorority events." You mutter, finishing up your breakfast. Namjoon chuckles in response to your snarky remark, to which you send a knowing smirk his way.

After breakfast, you call out to Yoongi, who has just come downstairs. He looks up at you, a hint of curiosity in his eyes as you ask, "Ready to go?"

He flashes a small, enigmatic smile, reaching for the coat rack by the staircase to retrieve his eco-friendly shopping bags. 

"I'm always ready for a trip to the store." he replies, holding the bags up, the corners of his lips quirking upward like a cat.

Together you leave for a shopping adventure to buy decorations for Jimin's surprise party. Meanwhile, Taehyung and Namjoon are in charge of the house cleaning duties, and preparing it for the evening's festivities. Seokjin and Jungkook are busy in the kitchen, getting the food and drinks area ready, while Hoseok has gone to Matthew's house to borrow his DJ setup for the party. Matthew and Hoseok are known to be close friends, not only as members of the dance team but also as active co-hosts of various parties together. At the store, you and Yoongi browse through the colorful array of decorations, selecting orange-colored streamers to adorn the house for the upcoming party. As you unroll a section of the streamer, you share your excitement. Your voice filled with anticipation.

"Tonight's going to be great," you muse, a smile playing on your lips. "A little kickback in the middle of the semester is exactly what we need."

"I thought so too. Things have been hectic lately." Yoongi nods in agreement, his expression mirroring your enthusiasm.

With a sly grin, you decide to tease him. You lean in closer to him, playfully suggesting,

"You know, we could always sneak off for a little alone time during the party."

Yoongi's eyes widen slightly from your alluring words, and for a moment, panic flashes across his features. But he quickly recovers, his lips curving into a flirtatious grin. 

"Is that an invitation?" He responds, his voice laced with a teasing tone.

Your heart skips a beat at his reply, and you can't help but wonder if there's more to his words or if he’s just having fun playing your little game. He’s too good at this, you think. You don’t respond right away and continue shopping for party supplies, keeping the tension high until you decide to take the conversation on a more flirtatious edge.

"Well," you reply with a sultry smile.  "I guess we'll have to see how the night unfolds, kitty boy. It's a surprise party, after all."

Yoongi's face closes in on yours as his hands reaches for another pack of multi-color balloons behind you. You feel a jolt of sensation shoot through you. The tension in your lower half filled with want intensifies, making your heart race faster. During these moments, you can't deny the magnetic pull between you two. The way he can be doing mundane things in a store or at home and somehow manage to drive you crazy. It's in the way he behaves, in the quiet cadence of his voice, in the soft glint of his eyes that holds galaxies within. You want to kiss him so bad right now and later on, but a part of you knows that would be difficult.

He leans closer to your ear, his voice dropping to a seductive murmur. "Always teasing me with the cat comments. I'll be looking forward to the surprise then, Angel."

The air between you crackles as the flame dies down and you both carry on with your shopping, each touch and lingering glance adding to the palpable tension building between you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

As the day unfolds, Jimin's patience wears thin during the brunch with Irene. The restaurant's tea party-like ambiance, once vibrant and appealing, now feels stifling. Their relationship has felt too restricting, with Irene often taking the lead in making decisions, and Jimin has grown increasingly weary of it.

Irene, as usual, has taken the initiative to plan a birthday dinner for the two of them at Fogo de Chão, a fine dining restaurant known for its Brazilian churrasco experience. While it is undoubtedly a great place, Jimin can’t help but feel trapped by the lack of input he has in the relationship's direction. He wants to have a say, a sense of balance that has been sorely missing when he’s with Irene.

Jimin's mood is noticeably dampened as he drives back from the event at 6pm. His voice is tinged with exhaustion and annoyance as he speaks with you on the phone. You are calling to ask his ETA, but overhear Irene persisting he goes out to dinner with her. Her insistence is a stark reminder of the control she seems to exert over their relationship. You try to keep yourself together, but you know you are inching closer to yelling at the woman over her “pick me” behavior.

After you finish setting up, you take the remaining time to help Jin prepare a small lunch box cake with a Badtz-maru Sanrio character figure in the middle. A smile tugs at Jimin’s lips as you mention that you and Jin made a cake.

 "Get here as soon as you can," you urge, "before I decide to eat the whole thing by myself!"

The warmth of your invitation and the prospect of spending the evening with you, perhaps accompanied by a few drinks with the guys, brings a genuine smile to Jimin's face. He can’t wait to be with you, if only to momentarily escape the complexities of his relationship with Irene. With a heartfelt response, he assures you. 

 "Looking forward to it, Honey," his voice filled with anticipation and a sense of longing.

As Jimin ends the call, he can’t help but notice Irene's displeased expression. She stares out of the window, her indifference to his plans more apparent than ever. Though, he is not worried about it at all. +++++++++

The moment has finally arrived. At 7 pm, Jimin approaches the front porch, Irene trailing behind him, completely unaware of the surprise lurking in the shadows. Everyone at the party is tucked away in their hiding spots behind the couch, their excitement barely contained. As he unlocks the door and steps inside, Irene right beside him, Jimin flicks on the lights in the living room.

Suddenly, the room explodes with a collective yell of 

"Surprise!" Jimin, caught off guard, jolts in fear, his heart racing. 

"Holy shit! Ya! You guys really scared the fuck out of me." he exclaims, breaking into laughter. 

The surprise party has taken him by surprise. Even though he had a hunch it was coming, thanks to Taehyung's incessant giggling over his phone for the past few days. He knew it wasn’t Jennie making him act like that, that’s for sure. "I didn't expect a party with everyone I know on campus...thanks, guys!" Jimin grins, feeling truly touched by the effort put into the surprise.

 As he looks around the room, he notices Taehyung and Jungkook approaching him. They playfully place a plastic crown on his head and a sash reading "It's a Boy!" around his shoulders. Laughter ripples through the room as people snicker, and Yoongi chimes in with an apology, claiming that Party City ran out of birthday boy sashes.

With the formalities out of the way, the party kicks into full gear. The guest list is a mix of Jimin's friends from the contemporary dance club, various fraternities and sororities on campus, and even some non-frat affiliated friends.The living room is illuminated with a kaleidoscope of colorful lights. The atmosphere buzzes with laughter, music, and the clinking of plastic red cups. Jimin, still wearing his "It’s a Boy!" sash, is now deeply engrossed in a competitive beer pong match with Taehyung, forming a formidable team they called “Taejin” and “Jikook”. The alcohol has clearly taken its toll, evident in their slightly unsteady aim and louder-than-usual banter.

As the game continues, Taehyung can't help but blurt out, "Did you know I took Jimin's virginity?" His words hang in the air, drawing incredulous stares from those around, including you.

"Ugh, you guys always say this when you're drunk!" You interject, trying to steer the conversation away from talking about their sex life at a party.

Jimin, never one to shy away from a chance to tease, chimes in, "And it's true!"

"But you guys never mention this sober!" you retort, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

Jin, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, adds, "They did! I let Tae borrow my car, and it happened there!"

You burst into laughter, finding the situation utterly absurd. Still, you keep count of these drunken confessions, each sudden new revelation making the story more unbelievable. It has to be a lie right?

Meanwhile, Jungkook simultaneously takes on the role of the bartender, expertly mixing drinks for the guests, showcasing his impressive bartending skills.

Amidst the revelry, you can't help but notice Jimin and Taehyung being touchy, their usual closeness amplified by the alcohol. It's a stark contrast to the way Jimin and Irene interact, their interactions either avoiding each other entirely or being laced together with passive-aggressiveness. You venture away from the bartending area, seeking a change of scenery. In the living room, you find Hoseok rolling up joints with Jackson and a few others. The smell of freshly rolled weed fills the air as they chat and prepare for a little smoke session.

Hwasa pats your back gently as she rushes to join the group on the couch, her eyes bright with excitement as she plucks a rolling paper from Jackson's stash. Jackson playfully protests, the two of them engaging in a lighthearted argument. Soyoon, seated nearby, can't help but laugh at their antics, thoroughly entertained by the playful banter unfolding before her. You move from this scene to observe Namjoon and Yoongi sharing a lighthearted moment over their drinks, a sense of nostalgia washes over you. It's a feeling akin to stumbling upon an old, cherished photograph from your past, a glimpse into a time when life felt simpler, and worries were few and far between.

You recall the days when your group was unbreakable. In those moments, laughter flowed freely, and the weight of responsibilities and adulthood hadn't yet pressed down on your shoulders. A past when late-night conversations and spontaneous adventures with your favorite boys was the norm. The memories of those carefree days still warm your heart.

Seeing Namjoon and Yoongi sharing a genuine laugh is a reminder of that bygone era. It's as if a fragment of your youth has been recaptured, if only for a fleeting moment. The rareness of this sight intensifies its significance, making it feel like a precious treasure rediscovered.

It's not lost on you that life has changed, and with it, your relationships have evolved. Responsibilities, relationships, and personal growth have nudged you all in different directions.

You decide to join them, curious about their take on the party. "So, how's the party for you two?" You inquire.

Namjoon grins, clearly enjoying the festivities. "It's been going well. Jungkook's a real good bartender. Since when did he become a mixologist?"

Yoongi chuckles and adds, "Since I took him to a bar with a fake ID over the summer and we tried different drinks. The Irish bomb started all of this. Taught him how to make one drink, and now he knows how to make like 30 different drinks."

You smirk playfully, teasing Jungkook's inventive nature. "Of course, the house genius had something to do with it. Always cooking up with ideas."

Yoongi cheeks flush at your compliment, which only makes you smile. Then, you shift the conversation toward Namjoon, still concerned about his well-being after the breakup with Jihyo. You wonder if he's still upset or if he's managed to move past it, both in terms of the relationship ending and the way it ended.

"Oh, I'm doing good," Namjoon assures you, his voice steady. "I think accumulated stress, coupled with that situation, got to me in the moment. But I'm doing better now after thinking about it more."

Relieved to hear that he's coping well, you offer a comforting gesture by rubbing his arm. 

"I'm glad," you say sincerely. "we were all worried about you, so if you ever need anything, we're here for you. Me, Yoongs, Mimi, Tae, Koo, Jin, and Hope!"

Yoongi nods in agreement, silently echoing your sentiment. However, beneath his supportive exterior, a gnawing fear lingers. You step aside for a moment to grab a snack bag from the box to munch on, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi to chat. Namjoon leans toward Yoongi, his voice hushed. 

"Hey, I'm gonna get her another drink from Jungkook."

Yoongi side-eyes Namjoon, a hint of curiosity in his gaze, and takes a sip from his whiskey.

 "What drink are you gonna get her?"

“I was thinking a Mai Tai. She loves those.”

The cat-eyed man furrows his brow, a sense of unease crossing his features. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." He cautions.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. "What do you mean by that?" Yoongi takes another sip of his drink, contemplating the situation.

"You know, she hasn't liked Mai Tais since last year." He finally admits, alluding to the time you drank so many of them in one night and you swore off to never drink those again. "She switched to Pina Coladas as her preferred alcoholic drink. She even mentioned it on her birthday earlier this year."

"Oh, I didn't know. I guess I missed that." He looks at him, a tad surprised and maybe even a bit upset that he hadn't caught onto your changing tastes.

Yoongi mumbles under his breath, his jealousy flickering. "If you were as close to her as you think, you should've known."

Undeterred, Namjoon walks away, eventually returning with a Pina Colada in hand. He hands it to you with a smile as he sees you conversing with Yoongi. "Oh, Namjoon! Pina Colada? I'm surprised you remembered." You let out a giggle, a hint of appreciation in your voice.

He blushes a little, his confidence replaced by shyness. "I could never forget my favorite girl's drink."

Yoongi scoffs softly, his jealousy flaring up. He takes another sip of his whiskey, trying to calm the growing storm of emotions inside him. The alcohol burns his throat, but it does little to quell the turbulent thoughts swirling in his mind. He knows he needs to find a way to calm himself down. The alcohol isn't helping him at this moment. As you stand there talking with Namjoon, Yoongi watches you from the corner of his eye, lost in a sea of conflicting emotions. He's relieved that Namjoon's not stressing you with his previous relationship, but there's an undercurrent of fear plaguing him. He worries that this situationship, this tangled web of emotions you share, might lose its appeal to you.

Deep down, he knows that this fling serves as a distraction for both of you, something to hold onto in the midst of college life. But perhaps it's more than that. Perhaps you mean more to him than he's ready to admit while not under the influence of an intoxicating drink. The thought of you eventually moving on and finding someone else terrifies him more than he'd like to acknowledge.

On your end, you're equally conflicted. The seed of doubt and overthinking that Yoongi planted has taken root, and you find yourself questioning your own feelings. Is it just a casual fling, or is there something more beneath the surface? You don't want to admit it, not even to yourself, but there's a growing awareness that maybe, just maybe, this situationship has started to mean more to you than you initially thought.

The room buzzes with laughter and music, but in this moment, both of you are lost in the turmoil of your emotions, uncertain of where this journey will ultimately lead.

You decide to heed Yoongi's earlier suggestion of meeting in secret at the party, excusing yourself from the two men in the living room where everyone continues to have a good time. As you head upstairs, you discreetly signal to Yoongi that you'll be waiting for him in your room.

Once in your room, you decide to step out onto the balcony, feeling the crisp October air brush against your skin. The chill seems to awaken you from your drunken stupor, and you take a deep breath, gazing out into the night. The distant campus buildings are barely visible in the dim moonlight, and a plane streaks across the sky, leaving behind a trail of blinking lights.

Your phone suddenly vibrates in your hand, and you eagerly check it, expecting to see a message from Yoongi. However, as you read his response, a twinge of disappointment washes over you. Yoongi [11:02PM]: Sorry angel, i think it’s a bad idea right now. 

Yoongi [11:02PM]: another time, okay? 

Reading the pixelated words on a screen causes your chest to tighten, leaving you with a mix of emotions that you can't quite put your finger on. You're aware that your situationship with Yoongi is not committed or exclusive, yet you can't help but feel a pang of disappointment. It's a confusing feeling that leaves you standing on the balcony, contemplating the nature of your connection with Yoongi and wanting to run away from these thoughts. You look down from the balcony and notice Irene's dramatic exit from the party. She gets into a black car waiting at the curb, and not long after, it drives away. You don't think much of it until you hear the sliding door behind you open. At first, you assume it might be Yoongi changing his mind or teasing you about his earlier rejection. However, when you turn to see Jimin joining you, you feel a bit caught off guard.

"Oh, Darling? You're here? Why are you alone?" 

"Oh, Mimi," you reply with a smile, brushing off his question. "I just wanted to sober up a bit. I don't want to spend tomorrow dealing with a hungover existential crisis while trying to get assignments done."

Jimin nods in understanding. "Fair enough."

You lean on the railing, propping your arms up, and watch Jimin as he continues speaking. "So, how's the party, birthday boy?"

"It's been fun so far, way better than whatever BS I did for most of the day." Jimin responds.

"Irene being too much?" You ask.

Jimin rolls his eyes. 

"Yup." He seems like he's about to say more about Irene, but he changes the topic instead. "But you guys made my night. I'm not usually a 'receiving presents' type of guy, but Jin still gave me a Maple Story plush pouch with money earlier."

"Damn, that boy is more loaded than I thought," 

"Right!" Jimin agrees. "Tae got me a custom One Piece Zoro mug too." He chuckles cutely. "Oh, Yoongi hyung also said he's performing a special song for me from his upcoming mixtape at the party, so that's going to be wild as fuck." You can't help but laugh, a nervous chuckle escaping your lips as you try to make sense of the situation.

"Shit, now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." You admit, feeling the corners of your lips curl into a playful smile. You stand up from the balcony railing, and your gaze locks with Jimin's as you lean against it, the party's background noise fading away in the distance.

"Is there anything else our birthday boy wants for his birthday?" You inquire, a glint of curiosity dancing in your eyes. Jimin's hesitation isn't lost on you, but his flirty expression keeps your attention, and you can't help but wonder where this is going.

Jimin closes the gap between you two until there is only a few mere inches from your lips, and his smile takes on a devilish edge. "A kiss."

“Huh.”

Your reaction is immediate. You freeze in place, wondering if perhaps the alcohol in your system has led you to misinterpret his words. The surprise has you giggling, a nervous, bubbling laughter that hints at uncertainty. "A kiss? Should I call Irene?" You tease, although a small part of you wonders if he's serious. You realize you're not entirely sure if you should take him seriously.

Jimin responds with a narrowed look, clearly expressing his desire, and it's evident that he means every word. "A kiss. From you.” He confirms, as he continues to close the distance between you, a playful gleam in his eyes. His breath, laced with the scent of alcohol, washes over you, making the situation feel even more surreal.

Despite your laughter, your heart races. You did not anticipate this, not from Jimin, not on his birthday, and not with Irene in the picture. It feels like a playful game at first, a continuation of your close friendship, but as the atmosphere grows heavier with tension, you're not quite sure where the line between friendship and something more blurs.

You attempt to regain your composure, using humor as a defense mechanism. 

"Uh, Jimin? I know we used to do those playful goodbye cheek kisses and all, and you practiced your first kiss on me in middle school because we're besties, but is this even okay right now? You're with Irene, after all." Your words convey your uncertainty as you try to mentally process the situation.

Jimin doesn't miss a beat. "I broke up with her.”

Your response is disbelief. "Wait, you what?"

 The shock makes you take a step back, and you try to understand why he chose this night, of all nights, to end things. You're genuinely concerned for Jimin. You know Irene been hitting several nerves for Jimin as of late, but to break up with her while at his own birthday party? 

He explains their fight as you lean on the balcony, your gaze fixated on him. His words hang in the air, and you can't help but reflect on the turn of events. 

"Oh...damn. I’m sorry," You finally reply, a mix of sympathy and understanding in your tone. You really don’t have much to say. You didn’t like her, that’s for sure. But two break ups in the same week, it’s kind of insane. There has to be some sudden explanation about how you were having a breakdown last week to suddenly everything being somewhat normal again after so long.

Jimin redirects the conversation with a flirty comment, catching you off guard yet again.

"So, my lips are free for a kiss.” He says, his eyes locked onto yours, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. As Jimin's words hang in the air, you look at him with a mix of disbelief and concern, hoping he'll snap back to his senses. 

"Jimin…" You repeat his name, your voice carrying a tone of incredulity. You raise your hand to your face, rubbing your temples in an attempt to clear your head. This situation has grown far more complicated than you ever expected. You lock eyes with him, your expression stern, as you attempt to make him understand the implications of what he's asking. "Are you SURE, Park Jimin?" you insist, emphasizing his name with a hint of desperation. 

You want to make sure he's aware of the potential consequences. Irene and Yoongi both occupy a significant place in your life, and crossing boundaries could jeopardize everything.

Jimin, however, seems untroubled by the complexities of the situation. He meets your gaze and lets out a playful giggle, his words light, "Just one won't hurt, Darling."

Your breath hitches as his lips come close, and you can feel the warmth radiating from him. Before you can fully process what's happening, he leans in and captures your lips in a surprising, lingering kiss. Your world momentarily narrows down to the sensation of his lips against yours, and you find yourself responding to the touch, your eyes closing as you sink into the moment.

The kiss is tender, passionate, and slightly intoxicating. It feels like time has stopped, yet it's over within a few heartbeats, lasting no more than seven seconds. Jimin withdraws, leaving you disheveled and breathless, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips as he chuckles.

"Thank you, Y/N." He says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Best present I’ve gotten all day!”

With that, he turns and heads back downstairs to rejoin the party, leaving you standing on the balcony in a state of bewilderment.

Your thoughts spin in confusion. What the fuck just happened? This single, impulsive kiss has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions and questions, pushing the boundaries of your relationships with both Yoongi and Jimin. You're left in a daze, trying to make sense of it all.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

The kiss from Jimin is a secret you vow to bury deep within, a momentary lapse in a whirlwind of unexpected events. To dwell on it would be madness, and you need your sanity more than ever in this house. Thoughts about moving out or taking a semester off cross your mind for a brief moment. Living among these chaotic emotions is a constant test of your resilience, and you question whether you are cut out for it. You rejoin the party downstairs, a tumultuous mix of emotions whirling in your head. Just as you enter, you catch the sound of Yoongi strumming his guitar, and he begins to sing a song he composed for Jimin. It is called "Autumn Leaves," and the lyrics seem to pierce through the core of your being. “떨어져 날리는 저기 낙입처럼

Like the leaves over there fallen and fluttering,

힘없이 쓰러져만 가 내 사랑이

helplessly falling, my love is”

The words Yoongi sings feels like they are plucked from the depths of your own heart. As he plays the chords on his guitar, the lyrics echo the complexities of your current situation.

“저기 저 위태로워 보이는 낙업은 우리를 보는 것 같아서

Because those precarious dead leaves over there look like us

손이 닿으면 단숨에라도 바스라질 것만 같아서

Because they look like they'll crumble at any slightest touch

그저 바라만 봤지 가을의 바람과 같이

I just gazed at them like the autumn wind”

The song finishes, and the party continues, but the lyrics remain etched in your mind. Yoongi's music has always been a vessel to convey feelings and emotions. You can’t deny that it has a way of capturing your own sentiments.

The night eventually comes to a close, the soft glow of dawn peeking through the windows.

The next morning, you find yourself nestled between a pair of hungover Jungkook and Taehyung in Jin’s bed, funnily enough. The two of them obviously got an earful from Namjoon about their antics during the party, and you can’t help but laugh at the comical scene. Despite the complex relationships and tangled emotions, moments like this still remind you why you stay.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

October 23 (Tuesday) You manage to navigate the days after Jimin's birthday without any major upheavals. Now, a little over 10 days since then, time seems to be passing with an eerie calm. As the days pass, life takes on a sense of normalcy you hadn't felt in a while. You find yourself spending more time with Namjoon and Jimin, enjoying outings for rolled ice cream and accompanying Joon to the local MOMA to do one of his art history assignments. These moments of familiarity make you ponder whether things are settling back into a comforting routine or if you are merely avoiding the looming changes.

On the other hand, you still have your secret rendezvous with Yoongi . These moments are like carefully hidden gems in your hectic life. As you indulge in your intimacy, you keep a vigilant eye on the house, ensuring no prying eyes or unexpected interruptions. It has become somewhat of a routine, a small sanctuary amidst the stress and chaos of a college student life. Yoongi often uses the excuse of studying together to enter your room in secret, and it's during these stolen moments of him fingering you or eating you out that you find solace. You don’t forget to return the favor with a blowjob either.

However on this day, you and Yoongi decide to get a little friskier than usual, seeing and hearing that no one is home during this time of day. Not a common occurrence, sadly. The connection between you two grows deeper with each stolen moment, yet you can't shake the nagging uncertainty that lingers beneath the surface. Mainly about how Jimin’s kiss may have shifted your current reality even further than before.

Yoongi moves to sit in the middle of your bed, patting his thigh to signal you to sit on his lap. You do as he requests, and crawl over your bed to sit on his thighs. Your back is towards him, while you face the standing floral-bordered mirror in front of your bed. You never thought there’d be a situation where you look into this exact mirror during promiscuous activities, but you guess thanks to college anything’s possible. The thought of seeing Yoongi pushing himself in and out of you turns you on more than you want to admit. Surely, the memory of your escapade will imprint much deeper in your mind after watching yourself.

One of his hands comes down to caress your wet folds through your panties. Then he slides them to the side, thrusting two fingers inside you while his thumb rubs your sensitive spot. His other hand passes over your blue lacy tank top covered breasts while his mouth sucks gently on your neck. The mirror captures the sensual scene well. Watching yourself coupled with the stimulation from Yoongi’s skilled fingers leaves your head feeling hazy to the point you almost come. You’re about to moan his name, but quickly cover your mouth as he continues to penetrate his fingers deep inside of you. It’s the middle of the afternoon, golden beams of light shining through your window. While you know it’s very likely you two are alone right now, you can’t risk exposing this situationship no matter how good it feels.

"Yoongi…it feels good.” You breathe out after moving your hand from your lips, your voice barely louder than a whisper as your fingers gently tighten around his forearm.

"Are you enjoying it angel?" He asks in a husky tone, his warm breath caressing your right ear.

"Mhm…" You nod, a soft sigh escaping your lips. 

His own lips curl into a sultry smile, as he increases the pace of his movements, his thumb working faster, sending waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body. You gently rest your head against the crook of his shoulder, and his lips seek out yours, locking in a fervent, passionate kiss. Your fingers instinctively wind through the soft strands of his hair, deepening the connection as your tongues entwined in an intimate dance.

Reluctantly, he withdraws his fingers from your trembling form, but they don't go far. Instead, he guides them to your lips. With a hint of a seductive smile, you obediently take his fingers into your mouth. Your tongue dances around them, savoring the captivating blend of your own essence. Meanwhile, his hard dick is pressing against you begging for attention.

"Do you want me?"

"S-so fucking bad…please, Yoongi.” You manage to breathe out, your voice heavy with longing.

Yoongi’s arm stretches over to your bedside table drawer to grab a condom he keeps hidden in there, rolling it down his cock quickly without losing momentum. He kisses you while running his hands along the sides of your waist and then gropes your covered breasts. You hold his cock, lifting yourself up to line his tip up with your entrance. Suddenly, Yoongi holds your chin, forcing your head forward so you can see him pushing himself further inside of you and spreading your folds in the mirror. You groan at the sight and start bouncing slowly into his lap as his hands grip your hips keeping you in place.

The surging heat envelopes your entire being, your legs parting and trembling with an electric fervor. Sensing your waning strength, he adjusts his motions, guiding you upward and causing your head to tilt back in ecstasy.

"Don't take your eyes off the mirror, Angel. Look.” He grabs your chin to face the mirror once more. “Look how well you're taking me. You're so good at this Y/N." He says, holding your hips with the other hand, thrusting into you even harder and faster. 

You two are close to coming and you can barely keep up with his pace. He slides one hand down to rub your bud while the other cups your neck and tilts your head to kiss you. His thrusts slow taking in the feeling of your kiss and the sweet sounds of you moaning into each other’s mouths. He continues to rub your clit until you come while moaning his name. He quickly covers your mouth muffling your continues sounds of pleasure. You feel him also come into the condom right after. He lifts you up to withdraw from within you. He holds you to prevent you from falling from exhaustion and places you back on the mattress to catch your breath. You are quite exhausted and sweaty, he looks at you and smiles.

After the two of you take a breather and rest for a bit, you and Yoongi return to studying on your bed as if nothing happened. You like the normalcy of things like this. The atmosphere feels light and comfortable as you converse through psych homework. You decide to change up the conversation. Halloween is approaching, and you bring up the idea of attending Matthew's Halloween party at DSP's house.

"I was talking to Hwasa yesterday," you begin with curiosity lacing your words, "and she said Matthew's throwing a big Halloween rager at DSP's house next week.” “Mhm.” Yoongi hums, waiting for you to go on. “I was thinking that we should go!” Yoongi looks as if he wants to say something, but can’t bring himself to do it as he sees you speak with stars in your eyes. He knows Halloween is one of your favorite holidays aside from Christmas, so he lets you ramble on with your suggestion. “We could dress as something silly, like Pokemon onesies, or we can do a sexy concept that makes us so hot we look dumb...like an angel and demon pairing?" You both share a laugh, but as the mirth subsides, Yoongi grows pensive.

"Y/N, that sounds great, but I've been meaning to tell you, I'm—"

You interrupt with a hint of panic, "Is this about our situationship? Do you want to end it now?" Your eyes widen, fearing the worst.

"What?" Yoongi chuckles, pouncing to wrap you in a warm hug. "No! I'm going to be out of town for half of next week."

"Huh? Wait. Oh my God, Yoongi, is this for the Future of Music Conference?" You recall Yoongi mentioning the conference back in September. 

It is a big deal, and he’s been tirelessly working as a TA for Professor Kang, which is why he’s been so busy lately. You guess it's finally paying off. Yoongi has another year left until he finishes undergrad, and he is hoping to start working in the industry right after. However, it’s not easy to get a job without experience, so he is hoping to network and get an internship before then.

"Yeah, that's the one," Yoongi confirms with a nod. "I'll probably be on a flight to Los Angeles the evening of the 31st."

“Oh no…” Your expression falls as the realization sinks in. 

The prospect of spending Halloween without Yoongi is disappointing. You can’t help but entertain some steamy thoughts, like imagining him wearing a scream mask as he fucks you. The internet has you thinking up a couple of ideas lately. However, you can’t help but feel a mixture of happiness for him making moves and somewhat sadness feeling that you are holding Yoongi back from the chance to get more involved in music. Yoongi's gentle touch reassures you, making you feel secure in this complex, secretive relationship. He seeks to understand your hesitation.

"Yeah, but why did you think I was ending this?" he asks, gesturing towards the tangled bond you both shared.

"The way you said it sounded too serious. Sometimes I’m not sure what to expect from you, Yoongs." You reply, your voice tinged with the caution you'd learned from past experiences. 

You don’t want to blame Yoongi if he wants to end the affair and return to being just best friends, without the complications that come with it.

"I'm fine with this…unless you don't want to do this anymore." Yoongi assures you, his respect for your decisions unwavering.

Sometimes, you ponder the significance of continuing this secret relationship. Namjoon is no longer with Jihyo, and Jimin has also parted ways with Irene. You have more time to spend with your friends, and you’ve been enjoying activities with them. Despite all this, you can’t bring yourself to end things with Yoongi, and you can’t fully understand why. Are you catching feelings for him?

"No, I still want to keep this up, probably as long as we can." you reply, your feelings conflicted and unclear.

 Your thoughts turn briefly to Jimin's kiss, which has left a lingering impact. For some reason, it felt different from Yoongi's kisses. Not better or worse, just different, with unique emotions woven into it.

“I won’t push you Angel, but just let me know whenever you want to stop this. I promise you that I will always be your best friend no matter what.”

Yoongi then pulls you down onto the bed, and you both drift into a peaceful nap together, the unspoken complexities of your relationships lingering in the air.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

October 31 (Wednesday) As you finish applying makeup on your knees in front of your mirror, surrounded by scattered makeup items, you check the time on your clock and see it's already 8:25. Yoongi's flight is set to depart at 8:50, and you reminisce about his early departure earlier in the day. He left with his luggage in hand, bidding you goodbye with a pat on the head, in the presence of Jungkook, Hoseok, and Namjoon. You hadn’t had the chance to hang out with Yoongi much since last week. Once he told everyone the news that he was going to the music conference, Yoongi went into strictly producer mode. He wanted to have a solid four song demo tracklist to showcase to professional producers and artists attending the conference in hopes of getting signed. Before he left, he said his schedule would be packed with various panels and activities for the next few days. He mentioned he’ll have some downtime and will text you before his return on Monday.

You rise from your seat on the floor and reach for the angel costume on your bed, changing into it. This is the outfit you chose when Hwasa took you to Spirit Halloween earlier that week, where the two of you picked your costumes together. As you gaze into the mirror, a myriad of thoughts swirl in your head, all stemming from that night on the balcony when Jimin kissed you. Even now, with Yoongi as your fuck buddy, the memory of Jimin's lips lingers in your thoughts. It's becoming a persistent distraction, and you find your mind often wandering back to that stolen kiss. The days have only made this internal conflict intensify, leaving you feeling increasingly torn between whatever you have with Yoongi and whatever is brewing with Jimin. You hear a knock on your door, breaking the spell of thoughts on your mind. You rush to open it, revealing Namjoon on the other side. He's dressed in a Hogwarts school uniform, complete with thick-rimmed glasses and a Gryffindor cloak over his outfit.

"You look so cute, Joonie!" You compliment him.

"Really?" He asks, a hint of shyness in his tone.

"Yeah, the whole look suits you well. Pair it up with your British accent, and it'll be even better," You tease, and you both share a laugh.

"Thanks, I'll do that too. You..." Namjoon's eyes roam your body, his gaze landing on the sleeveless, short white dress you're sporting for the party. "look really good too, Tiny." His gaze lingers on your cleavage for a moment before you catch on.

"Really? Good! I spent the last hour going through Tiktok for makeup tutorials, and I was so close to giving up and not going anymore.” You admit with a chuckle.

"Seriously, you look great! Where are you heading tonight?" Namjoon inquires.

"I was going to go to Dark Side with Hwasa and the other girls. We're planning to go to DSP's party since Matthew kindly extended the invite a few weeks ago." You explain. 

Dark Side is a neighborhood on the southwest side of campus known for throwing wild and raunchy parties. You'd never venture there alone, but with the girls there as well as Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin heading to DSP later, you'll have trustworthy friends close by.

"I'll try to swing by later tonight too. I'll be on Light Side, Halloween bar hopping with John, Zico, and San for Jin's frat event. Drinks are $1 for two hours, and I don't want to miss that." Namjoon shares with a chuckle.

"Oh, that sounds fun too, but I want to spend time with the girls this one time, so I gotta pass. Send my regards to Jinnie for me." You say with a smile.

"Of course." Namjoon replies.

"Is BTS' angel ready to go?" Hwasa, dressed as The Bride from Kill Bill, peeks into your room next to Namjoon.

"Kill Bill?" Namjoon raises an eyebrow at her choice.

"Yeah, why not? SZA made it trendy again." Hwasa scoffs, playfully defending her costume.

"Okay, you two! I don't want to see Harry Potter and The Bride fight to the death in my room. Let's go get wasted, shall we?" You say, intervening.

"Fine!" They reply in unison, and together you head downstairs to find the rest of your friends. Grim Reaper Soyoon, Barbie Cowgirl Jieun, and Dorothy Soohyun, are waiting by the door for you. You head out together, bidding Namjoon and Jin, who are making food in the kitchen, goodbye.

++++++++++++

As you arrive at Matthew's frat house, you can't help but be awestruck by the eerie Halloween atmosphere that greets you. The whole house is bathed in a sinister red lighting, casting an unsettling glow on everything it touches. A mysterious haze hangs in the air, making your every breath feel like a step into the unknown. You aren’t sure if it’s coming from a fog machine or the smoke of people hotboxing the house with weed, but it adds ambience. String lights are meandered throughout the house, resembling spider web-like streamers that cling to the walls and ceilings, giving the place an otherworldly feel. Enormous pumpkins and grinning skulls adorn various corners, casting ominous shadows. The centerpiece of the decorations is a giant tapestry in the living room featuring a hauntingly detailed skull and the bold letters "DSP HALLOWEEN RAGER 20XX" leaving no doubt that DSP going all out for Halloween is definitely their frat tradition.

You and the girls continue exploring the house, drinking whatever glittery purple concoction was in one of several cauldrons by the alcohol table, immersing yourselves further into the atmosphere. Loud music reverberates through the air, colorful lights flash, and costumed partygoers fill every corner. 

You're glad you chose to come as an angel. The outfit is simple: a white satin corset dress, white pumps, paired with feathered wings and a shimmering halo headband to add a touch of ethereal charm. It's easy to move around and dance without feeling too weighed down. The alcohol flows freely, infusing everyone with a giddy sense of euphoria. The beats of the music thump in your chest, electrifying the atmosphere even more. You and the girls can't help but dance once you get closer to the music, caught in the moment.

Matthew, who has been DJing with his fellow Delta, Somin, takes a break and strolls over to your group with a tray of tequila shots. His tracks have been setting the perfect vibe for the party since you got there, blending seamlessly with the pulsating energy in the room. From Beyonce to Doja to Michael Jackson to Post Malone.

"Hey, ladies!" He greets you and the girls with a charismatic grin. He's dressed as a '90s grunge rocker, his outfit complete with ripped jeans, a band tee, and a flannel shirt tied around his waist. “I brought y’all some shots! It’s from my special Don Julio stash.” Soyoon looks at the tray, surprised with the VIP treatment from DSP’s President. “Really? Wow, that’s awesome. Thanks Matthew.” 

“Nah, it’s nothing!” “Cheers!" You all chimed in unison, lifting your shot glasses high to clink together before downing them. The tequila's warmth coursing through you.

"Matthew, I gotta say, you're killing it as the DJ tonight!" Hwasa exclaims.

Matthew chuckles modestly. "Thanks, Hyejin. Always a pleasure to make y’all dance. And Y/N, you look truly angelic, by the way." His compliment comes with a wink and a nod of approval.

"Aw, thank you, Matthew! You're not looking too shabby yourself as a '90s rockstar." You reply with a grin as you sip your drink.

As you chat, Matthew offers you and the girls some insights into the party scene tonight.

"It’s pretty packed here tonight. A lot of the Gamma guys and Psi peeps decided to come by. GOT doesn't usually do Halloween parties, and I’m sure y’all already know that DSP is the go-to spot for Halloween festivities on campus. Y’all better dance and drink safely, alright? Let me know if y’all need anything." You all nod and thank him for his consideration for your safety.

Hearing about the Gamma guys' presence, you can't help but wonder if Jaebeom is among them. You do not want an awkward and uncomfortable run in with him or any of his Gamma buds.

The night progresses, and as you engage in the festivities, you can't help but feel a growing sense of nostalgia and longing for Yoongi. Halloween had always been a cherished tradition for both of you since childhood. You would go trick-or-treating with the 3 boys under the guidance of Yoongi’s older brother and then eventually spending Halloween nights watching slasher films, which Yoongi hated, but watched knowing how much you and Jimin liked them. Not having him by your side this time felt lonely. And while the worries about Namjoon and Jimin's romantic involvements had dissipated, the absence of Yoongi left a void in the group that you couldn't ignore. 

Despite this yearning for him to be here, thoughts of Jimin continued to intrude, making you feel conflicted. You remember the playful cheek kisses and innocent pecks on the cheek that you and Jimin used to share as best friends, but now the thought of that happening again feels entirely different. That birthday kiss was not like the past ones.

The more alcohol you consume, the more Jimin's presence continues to tug your mind, creating a sense of inner turmoil. You remind yourself that you don’t owe Yoongi exclusivity, yet your arrangement with him still hung heavily in the back of your mind.

Fuck, you feel yourself falling into insanity.

Not long after you start feeling like you’re going crazy, Jimin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook finally show up. You glance at each of their costumes: Taehyung is dressed as a character from Bridgerton, while Hoseok is all out as a pirate. This is great, you think to yourself. However, as your eyes move to Jimin, you find it hard to maintain your composure. His vampire costume is equal parts charming and alluring, and your slightly intoxicated state makes it difficult to look him in the eyes. His demeanor is relaxed, but he's no stranger to reading people's body language. You have managed to act like nothing has been picking at your brain when talking with him the past weeks since his birthday, but that’s not the case right now. Jungkook, wearing a Rocky boxing costume, gently shakes your shoulder asking if you’re good, to which you say yes. You’re lying, which Jimin takes note of. 

In the kitchen, while you chat and laugh with the group, you find your gaze involuntarily drawn to Jimin more than once. At one point, your flustered state leads to an accidental mishap – you drop your drink. Thankfully, it's a party, and no one minds a small accident.

Jimin notices your nervousness and the way you keep fidgeting. He smiles playfully, sensing your discomfort but not mentioning it outright. You're grateful for his discretion. The chemistry between you and Jimin has shifted since his birthday party, and navigating this new territory is both nerve wracking and a little confusing.

After a brief chat with your girls and guys, you all part ways to continue navigating DSP’s party and its many alcohol-filled Halloween activities. Your constant urge to keep your eye on Jimin continues despite the large crowd of people filing in and out of the house. You are standing next to Soyoon and Jieun playing King’s Cup against Sigma Kappa Zeta’s Chris and a group of other guys, as you glance at the other side of the house seeing the dance floor filled with familiar faces. 

And there he is again. Jimin. 

There are a few girls dressed as Barbie clones circling around him, trying to grind against him, but their attention on him doesn’t faze you. This phenomenon is quite familiar when it comes to Jimin. He’s gorgeous, everyone knows it, and everyone wants him.

However, you remained immune to what they commonly refer to as the "Jimin Effect." Jimin himself is well aware of the impact he has on others, but for you, he is simply Jimin, a close friend, and nothing more. You never thought of anything more with him. He'd try to tease you at times by giving you cheek kisses because it's what French people do when they say hello or goodbye. "It's just faire la bise.” he'd say, but it'd be a ploy to see if you'd crack. You didn't.

There was a time, though, when you spent more time with Jimin than with Namjoon or Yoongi. The latter two had started high school, which was situated across town from where you lived. Your daily interactions with them dwindled because of the new commitments and distance. 

However, one day, you noticed a change in Jimin's behavior. He seemed anxious, fidgety even. It was then that he asked you a rather unexpected question.

"Could you be my practice partner for my first official kiss?" 

Your eyes widened, convinced that he was pulling your leg with one of his classic pranks. You inquired if he was serious, and he assured you he was genuinely seeking your assistance for something he had no idea how to do, even though he found it embarrassing to admit. Recognizing his sincere plea for help, you decided to assist him. Your initial attempts during after-school sessions proved fruitless, but after watching "The Notebook" together one afternoon, you decided to replicate one of the film's romantic kissing scenes. At first, it felt awkward, and the two of you couldn't help but chuckle after. But as the scene played out repeatedly, you began to notice a subtle shift. The practice had evolved into something; there was a growing intimacy in each kiss you shared. And this was how you too, had your first kiss. Jimin's nervousness gradually transformed into comfort, and you noticed how his lips became more confident against yours. His sweet laughter and warm smile during your practices caused a shift. You found yourself thinking about him more often than you’d want to admit to anyone.

As time went on, you both became increasingly comfortable in each other's presence. While these practice sessions were meant to be lighthearted, they grew into meaningful moments for the two of you. 

Though this period was fleeting, like to the ephemeral beauty of cherry blossoms in spring, their brief existence was marked by a burst of color before gracefully scattering away. Much like those delicate petals, your shared moments of intimacy came to an end, not lasting beyond that season. 

Jimin got his "official first kiss" from one of the girls he admired in your 8th-grade history class. As you both stepped into high school, he had started seeing and dating a series of people. He continued on as if that time was just a dream. Namjoon and Yoongi never learned of what transpired between you two. And you too, had continued to live your life like nothing had happened during that spring of your final year in middle school.

Until now. "Y/N!" Jimin's voice pierces through the loud music and chatter. 

You snap back to the present, his call pulling you out of the distant memories from long ago. Your eyes widen in surprise, wondering why he is calling your name so urgently. Before you can react, he exchanges some quick words with the girls around him and makes his way toward you. You will your feet to move forward to meet him. You are about to ask about the urgency when Jimin speaks first.

"I needed an excuse." He confesses, his shoulders slumping with a sigh, "I couldn't get rid of them."

Ah, classic Jimin. A smile tugs at your lips as he runs his hand through his hair in a way that you know well. You aren’t sure why you feel a rush of giddiness knowing he chose you over the other girls.

"Let's dance, darling?" Jimin suggests, breath warm against your ear. His words make your brows furrow. You tilt your head, teasingly skeptical.

"Are you drunk right now?"

"You know I've got a high alcohol tolerance." He replies, his confidence unshaken.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Park.” You concede, and with that, he pulls you deeper into the crowd on the dance floor, ready to let the music and the moment carry you both away.

In the dimly lit embrace of the dance floor, you find yourself swaying to the beat of Take My Breath by The Weeknd, creating a world of sensuality around you. Jimin's strong hands confidently claim the small of your back, and his touch sends a wave of heat radiating through your body. Together, you move with grace, entangled in a slow, seductive dance that defies the pulsating rhythm around you.

Your fingers glide along the contours of his muscular cape-covered shoulder, and you're entranced by the intense connection in his dark, probing eyes. Each sinuous movement feels like a secret conversation, a silent language whispered through touch.

Jimin's warm breath, tinged with a hint of alcohol, brushes against your earlobe as he guides you even closer. The sensation of his lips softly grazing your neck sent a shiver down your spine, intensifying the yearning that courses through every nerve. As his hands caress your body, his cologne, a scent different from the one he used to wear, envelopes you, adding to your growing sense of intoxication. The fragrance was a symphony of warm, vanilla notes, creating an intoxicating blend that only heightens your desire.

The world outside your bubble seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this sensual realm. The chemistry between you intensifies with every caress, each gentle press of your bodies, as you're pulled deeper into a realm of unspoken longing.

The sweet agony of desire intensifies, and your souls unite, dancing to a silent melody that pulses with yearning and passion. In this enchanted moment, you are giving in to the irresistible pull of the night, surrendering to the all-consuming allure that keeps you locked in your sensual dance. Suddenly, you are pulled out of your blissful daze as you notice Hogwarts student Namjoon and Navy Captain Jin enter the front door. You quickly pull apart from Jimin as you see them nearing. While you and Jimin promiscuously dancing isn't a new sight for any of your housemates, for some reason, you can't help but stop. The action even surprises you. Jimin's lust-filled eyes widen, wondering if he did something wrong.

Namjoon soon approaches behind Jimin, which scares him a little. "Made it just in time, you two."

"Namjoon!" You say in unison, but in different tones.

Namjoon looks at the two of you lovingly. "Finally, the avengers are all together." 

"Well except Yoongi hyung," Jimin points out in a somber tone.  

In that split second, you remember again that Yoongi isn’t there. You check your phone in your bag to see if he sent you any LA updates, to which he had about 5 minutes ago. Yoongi [10:23pm] : I landed. Safe and Sound. 👍

Yoongi [10:23pm] : In the city of angels without my angel :( 

Yoongi pulling out your nickname in that second text has you flustered for a second. Thank God the lighting is red here or else you’d be questioned until no end.

"Why don’t we take a picture together to send to him! Let him know we're together."

The other two men nod, and you hand your phone to Namjoon, with the longest arms, to take a selca together. The three of you squeeze together, Jimin in the middle, and Namjoon stretches his arm as far as he can to capture the perfect shot. 

"Got it!" Namjoon grins, showing the picture to all of you.

You take a moment to admire it. It's a funny picture: Namjoon with his typical fuckboy smile, Jimin kissing your temple while winking his eye at the camera, and you holding up a peace sign capturing the essence of your overall shared bond. 

You [10:29PM]: [Photo Attachment]

You [10:30PM]: Good to know, but we miss our favority kitty boy bestie here with us :(

As you send it to Yoongi, you can't help but hope he'll find a way to have a good time tonight. You wonder how things would’ve been different tonight if he was around. Would you still be lusting for Jimin while Yoongi’s with you? Or would your wicked thoughts have you wanting them both. You choose not to think about it more. In a distant city, Yoongi feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and quickly retrieves it to find a new photo message from you. Upon opening it, he sees a picture of Namjoon, Jimin, and you. While he would typically be thrilled to see a photo of all of you, an uneasy feeling creeps into the pit of his stomach when he sees Jimin kissing your temple. He decides to wait awhile until he’s more situated in his hotel room to respond.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

You tell yourself you can't continue to be around Jimin tonight. That's why you escape your two best friends and find yourself outside with Soohyun and Hwasa, navigating a makeshift haunted maze set up by DSP in their backyard. After making it out alive, the three of you decide to take a breather. It's during this moment of respite that Hwasa decides to address the elephant in the room. "So, when are you going to stop running away from Jimin tonight?" Hwasa speaks up, causing Sooyoung to gasp.

"Damn you, Ahn Hyejin, and your psychic senses!" You curse half-jokingly. Sooyoung, being candid as ever, chimes in, "To be fair, you couldn't keep your eyes off him earlier." "Honey is up to no good, it seems," Hwasa narrows her eyes at you, hinting at what she already knows about you and Yoongi, but not what's up with Jimin.

Afraid you might spill more than necessary with strangers potentially overhearing your conversation, you hastily excuse yourself, claiming you need to use the bathroom. You head back inside through the side door. As you scan the room, you don't spot Jimin anywhere, making you wonder if he's left for another party.

You’re kind of relieved you can finally breathe in peace.

You grab your phone from your bag to check to see if Yoongi had replied back to the photo from earlier, but you only see that he read it not long after you sent it. You don’t think much of it. Maybe he’s busy with the others that went on the trip with him. At the same time you feel a bit worried.

You make your way upstairs and locate a door that you assume leads to a bathroom. Jackson is standing in front of it, looking out of it. Is he high? You ask him to move, and he manages to shuffle away. In your haste, you swing open the door, slam it shut behind you, and make sure you locked it. However, once you turn around to look at your surroundings, you realize you walked into a bedroom, not a bathroom. Inside, you find Jimin sitting on the bed, holding a barely smoked blunt. The scent of marijuana hangs in the air, and the dimly lit room adds to the surreal atmosphere.

"Y/N?" Jimin's voice sounds both surprised and somewhat amused, his eyes glistening with the effects of the weed. He takes another hit from the blunt before carefully setting it aside.

God, you have no mercy tonight, it seems.

"I was trying to find the bathroom...but, um, I didn’t know you smoked weed." You comment, regarding him with a curious expression.

"Okay, well, I started smoking with Hoseok at the back of the house during the summer, but Irene didn't like the smell and told me to cut it out."

"Ah, I see." You acknowledge with a nod, the mention of Irene casting a shadow over your curiosity. Consequently, you opt not to probe further into the matter.

You remain there, gazing at Jimin, who returns your gaze intently. Although you momentarily consider fleeing the situation, for some inexplicable reason, you find yourself unable to move. Completely frozen in this moment with your best friend, trapped in what appears to be Matthew's bedroom.

Your attention dips to Jimin's rosy, plump lips, appearing irresistibly kissable. A dangerous impulse, stirred by the alcohol coursing through your veins, threatens to push you toward a regrettable choice. This isn't good. 

"Did I finally win?" Jimin giggles.

"Huh?" You respond, your perplexed expression once again betraying your internal thoughts. What does he mean? Surely not what you're thinking…

Jimin's laughter deepens, whether fueled by the weed or your confused reaction, it's hard to tell. Abruptly, he rises from the bed, grabs your hands, and pulls you back onto the bed with him. You find yourself beneath him, your breath quickening. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, studying you with admiration.

"You've finally fallen under the 'Jimin effect,' huh? Did that birthday kiss really hit you that hard?" He teases.

"Ugh!" You groan, hiding your face behind one of your hands with your phone in the other hand, letting out a resigned sigh. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"I knew it!"

"Okay yes! Fine! I've been thinking about it since the party!” You admit, embarrassed to hear your own voice say this to his face.

Jimin's eyebrows arch curiously as he asks, "What have you been thinking about?"

“...Wanting to kiss you again.” You mumble, your frustration apparent.

"Then why won’t you just do it?” 

You’re caught off guard by this question. Why won’t you do it? What’s stopping you? Yoongi? You’re not dating him though. But was it ever established that you would be exclusive to each other? Your semi-intoxicated brain can’t remember what rules you two set in place. 

Though, the more you think about your answer to Jimin’s question, the more you start to remember what Yoongi asked many nights ago. Your semi-intoxicated brain struggles to recall the boundaries you had set. You told Yoongi that Jimin was like a brother who can empathize with you, but is that really the case? What if you’re more afraid of acknowledging some underlying feelings, not just for Jimin but also for Yoongi and Namjoon? In an ideal world, you’d love to spend your life with all of them, but the harsh reality might not allow it.

“I-I don’t know…” You stutter.

"Well, do you want to do it again then…" Jimin speaks slowly, as if sensing that he, too, is hesitant about what he wants to do next with you. “...Darling?”

Your nod slowly, a bit hesitant, but still eager in your actions. Recalling Jimin's preference for explicit consent, you affirm, "Yes."

With that assurance, Jimin closes the remaining distance between your lips. The moment his mouth meets yours, it's as if a long-held tension is released. The kiss is soft, a gentle exploration of the warmth and tenderness that lies beneath the surface. His fingers lightly trace the contours of your face, brushing over your cheek and down to your jaw, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. Your own hands find their way to his back, fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his cape as you pull him closer.

Time seems to stand still as the world outside fades into insignificance.

Jimin's kisses gradually deepen, turning more passionate and fervent. The taste of his lips, combined with the lingering scent of weed in the air, fuels a heady desire that sweeps through you. Sour candy. It’s the only way you could describe it. Like the sweet citrus cocktail you saw him drink earlier that night. 

His fingers brush across the sensitive skin of your neck and collarbone before he cups your breast in his hand. Jimin kneads your breast over the fabric of the dress for a moment before you help him free them. He breaks the kiss to swoop down and take one of your hard nipples into his mouth. Jimin swirls his tongue once before sucking the bud into his mouth and releasing far too soon. He plants a few kisses on your exposed breasts leaving you only wanted more. 

He pulls you back to continue kissing and a soft moan escapes your lips muffled by Jimin's mouth. You can't help but think about your complicated feelings and the new questions that have surfaced. You're not sure where this will lead, but for now, all that matters is this. The sound of surrender to his advances.

“Touch me more…I want to feel you…please….”

Jimin pushes your dress up roughly and slides your panties down your legs discarding them over the end of the bed. He hungrily looks at you. Your whole body is itching for more of him. It feels like your whole body is on fire.

He brings his hand down, slipping his fingers inside of you. He moves slowly at first, teasing you like he always does. Although now, you are in a completely different situation than ever before. Your face contorts in pleasure as he changes speed, plunging his fingers in and out of your pussy with purpose.

Jimin finds your clit with the thumb of the hand deep inside you and you moan as he presses his thumb onto the sensitive area. His other fingers explore your walls, circling them softly and pushing ever so gently against them. You feel like you’re going to explode into a million pieces with each tantalizing motion of his fingers. He looks up at you as he giggles. He knows that he has corrupted you completely with his own fingers and there is no turning back now. You faintly get a sense of Deja Vu.

Your breathing becomes heavy as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out of you, faster and faster as the pleasure intensifies. As you feel you’re incredibly close to reaching an orgasm, suddenly, you hear your phone vibrate aside you. This sound catches Jimin’s attention. 

His hand moves to grab your phone to see that a text message came in.

From Yoongi.

“Yoongi hyung?”

Your eyes immediately widened, panic setting in.

“J-Jimin! Give me the phone!” You yelp out despite your hazy brain continuing to bask in the pleasure of Jimin’s fingers. You know that while Yoongi's message might be harmless, you can’t risk Jimin stumbling upon your previous conversations with him. The consequences of that discovery are unknown, and you don’t want to find out.

"But I want to reply to Hyung!" Jimin protests playfully.

"N-No, I'll reply!" You insist, desperation in your voice.

Jimin's eyes shift from the screen to you, and he asks with a hint of suspicion, "So needy…Y/N, is there something you're hiding?" 

His gaze bores into yours, and you can sense that he is more perceptive than you have anticipated.

Jimin's question hangs in the air, and you feel the weight of it pressing on you. Your hazy thoughts race as you struggle to come up with a plausible explanation.

He removes his fingers from inside you, leaving you on the brink of an orgasm with your pussy clenching around the air. The abrupt halt to the intense sensation leaves you breathless, aching for release, and a soft whimper escapes your lips as Jimin withdraws his fingers. His revelation, however, catches you by surprise, and you are momentarily stunned.

"I have an idea of what's been going on," He admits, his voice low and laced with a suspicious bounce in the tone. "But I want to hear it from you. What's going on with you and Hyung?"

Your mind races, torn between loyalty to Yoongi and the trust you hold for Jimin. Your immediate urge is to lie, but Jimin has known you for years, and lying to his face would hurt you and feel disrespectful towards him. On the other hand, you told Yoongi you wouldn’t tell anyone in the house and you wouldn’t want him to get hurt either.

Jimin's proximity makes it even more difficult to keep your secrets hidden. He leans in close, his warm breath against your ear as he whispers, "If you tell me, I'll keep going. If you don't, we stop, and we can pretend this never happened."

A part of Jimin thinks he’s going too far with this game, but after the break up with Irene, he knew immediately what he wanted. You. He spent far too long running away from his own feelings. If he keeps doing that, you will eventually leave his side permanently. He cares too much about you and doesn’t want someone else to pull you away. He is unsure if his Hyungs feel the same about you.

His offer hangs in the air, a tempting proposition. You wrestle with your thoughts, torn between loyalty, desire, and the need for honesty. 

As if the current atmosphere isn’t tense enough, Yoongi proceeds to call you, which you identify by his customized ringtone. 

Against all odds in this enclosed space, you respond.

“Jimin…you can hate me for this and I have my reasons for wanting this, but for the past few weeks…”  You take a deep breathe before saying what you most likely will regret telling him. God, you need to pray that this will end well somehow.

“I’ve been sleeping with Yoongi.”

----

tbc!!! a/n: i hope i left y'all wanting to learn more about what's going to happen. do you have an theories. i'd love to heart about them so lmk hehehe thank you all for reading! i had to post this just in time for halloween but i wanted it take my time fleshing it out for y'all before letting this work fly out. if you did enjoy, please interact however you can! reblog, like, share with friends!

[jwirecs]

Recommended BTS Fics of September 2022💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of september! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Anti-Romantic || @sxtaep​​​🔞💕✅

↳ you could come across as the number one hater of the male species, but not when it came to jimin.

Cat-astrophe || @kofisips​🔞💕✅💯

↳ Request: Hello! I love your work, could I ask you a request about Jungkook strong/intimidating aura but soft towards the reader who is shy, inexperienced and shy?🥺it turns him on but at the same time he feel protective towards her innocence. I would love to read a smut interactions between this two 🥺✨

Go Ahead and Cry || @jeonverselol​​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ jungkook has commitment issues when it came to love and you are always ready to fall in love. you two want to be loved, and you’re ready to attach yourself but that’s what scares jungkook and he finally confronts all his fears.

Lost & Found || @l0mljeonjungkook​​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ eight years beside him were nothing but a roller coaster ride. Being a single mother wasn't easy, but your best friend, Kim Namjoon made your way smooth. You never knew you felt something for him until you read his diary, which you weren't supposed to read ever. What will you do, if not only you but Hyeon, your baby, and your best friend Namjoon, wants the same, what you desired for so long?

Only Love || @koostarcandy​​​💕✅

↳ over 5 months of domestic bliss with your best friend turned roommate turned lover gets you thinking, alot. alternative? a fluffy, domestic morning with koo 🥰

I Hate You, I Love You || @borathae​​​​🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ “You are marrying Kim Taehyung, heir to Kim Enterprises, one of South Korea’s hottest bachelors and a total pain in the ass. You do not want to marry him and neither does he want to marry you. But in families likes yours’, marriage does not come with love.“

Office CEO || @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue​​​💕💔🔄

↳ you work for seven CEOs who have called you into their office due to a complaint (link is to their entire masterlist, author does not have a separate masterlist! which means that you should also check out their other fics too!!)

Sugar || @zehakoo​​​ 🔞💕💔✅

↳ desperately in need of sugar to make coffee in order to ease down your headache, you find yourself knocking on a strangers door who happens to be your best friend’s friend and the finest man you’ve ever encountered.

But We Loved Too Young || @jl-micasea-fics​​​💕✅💯💯

↳ Jungkook is everything you’re not, the ying to your yang. Your tight knit friendship nurtured from childhood survived the major life events that most don’t, and to that end, you suppose you’re fated to be together. until unrequited longing is eventually noticed, and boundaries are forever crossed.

Better Than The Fanfictions || @hobisonlyhope​​​ 🔞💕💔✅

↳ When your boyfriend of two years catches you reading a FanFiction in front of him, you somehow end up getting exactly what you’ve been wanting this entire time.

Buzzer Beater || @yoon2k​​​​💕✅💯💯

↳ at the end-of-the-year college fair, your boyfriend wants to win you a prize, and he's chosen the perfect game to play—or so he thinks. (lord basketball yoongi is chefs kiss. shoot your shot masterlist)

Seven With You || @e-cm​​​​​ 🔞💕✅

↳ It’s nearly Namjoon’s birthday and with you by his side, he’s never been happier. But, with Tae waltzing you away more frequently day by day to work on your group project, Namjoon starts to notice your absence in more ways than just one…

Streams & Sheets || @kofisips​​​🔞💕✅💯

↳ Nobody expected famous twitch streamer JJK to trend online when his mysterious girlfriend accidentally makes a cameo in one of his livestreams. The chaotic problem in question? You streamed a live sex tape.

Animal Lovers Hybrid Collection || @helenazbmrskai​​​ 🔞💕💔🔄💯

↳ (masterlist of all of the fics that falls under this fic)

Cat’s Cradle || @longtimenospooning-luci​​​💕✅💯💯

↳ After five years of back-breaking work under your hardass boss Min Yoongi, you can finally step back and live your life well with your son and his rowdy uncles. Opening a Cafe with your eldest brother Seokjin after so many setbacks was euphoric, but what happens when your ex-boss finds his way into your cafe? Will everything fall apart again or will your life finally piece back together?

Home || @rileytwenty​​💕💔🔄💯💯

↳ Houses are made, homes are built.

Little Bear 2.0 || @xddaengx​​​💕💔🔄💯💯💯

↳ You never thought you would see your ex again... especially not at your front door with his hybrid. (did i want to throw hands at hobi’s new boo? yes, yes i did)

Loved By Seven || @imaginebeautifulworlds​​​​💕💔🔄

↳ Hiking was just an activity to get you out of the apartment, the last thing you imagined was ending in a whole different world by touching a jewel. That not being enough you end up meeting seven hybrids, and they all claim you shared the Connection with each of them making you their partner for life. (ahh cant wait to read more!)

Tiger Boy || @joonbird​​​ 🔞💕✅

↳ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

Welcome Home: The Series || @xddaengx​​​​ 🔞💕💔🔄

↳ (there was no specific summary for the series but i still recommend you to give this a read!)

Crumble || @purpleyoonn​​​​🔞💔✅💯

↳ You had decided to make a change, not realizing your men would notice. The consequences bring to light your own insecurities, with which the boys decide it’s time you realize how precious you are to them.

Eye Of The Beholder || @purpleyoonn​​​​💕💔✅

↳ As you begin to notice minute details unseen to you before, you start to realize that what you thought was the truth, was anything but. The people you thought were acquaintances had different ideas of their meaning in your life, and needed to show you who they really were to you. (love all of their poly fics istfg)

The Serendipity of Things || @oh-so-scenarios​​​🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Who has time for soulmates? Jung Hoseok is too busy being the head of his mafia network. He won’t let the serendipity of his soulmate move him...right?

You Need Us: The Buried Secret || @littlenoona​​​​🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Asking for protection comes at a big price and you’re more than ready to pay it, but betraying the ones that provide it, is a big mistake.

Belong || @ratherbefangirling​​💕💔🔄💯💯

↳ Imagine you a sweet smelling omega are neighbours with BTS.

Fake Love || @jellifysh​​​💕💔🔄💯💯

↳ “What was she even doing in that sicko’s car?” Jungkook growled, finally letting Yoongi go roughly and turning around to bang at the wall. “I swear to God if he wasn’t already in a coma, I’d knock him into one myself.” (i literally have ch1 in my likes right now to read and i cant wait to read it!)

Regretful Choices || @justcallmenikki7​​💕💔✅💯💯

↳ You get into an argument with your boyfriends, and you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Soulmates || @smaubts​​💕✅💯

↳ in which jungkook and y/n are soulmates and the random thoughts that occur in y/n's head are actually jungkook's thoughts, where he sometimes sings the weirdest songs.

The End Is You And I || @yonkimint​​​💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Everyone has always considered y/n a wise soul. Her whole life, everyone, even her older brothers, have come to her for advice so when her psychology class requires a creative final project, she decides to create an anonymous “advice column” on Twitter. What she doesn’t expect is a DM from her long time crush and best friend, Kim Taehyung: “How do you know if you’re in love?”

Class Act || @jvngkook97​​​💕💔✅

↳ in which Namjoon is the popular jock and you’re just another girl in the bleachers. OR what happens when the gentle giant takes notice of the introverted, yet dedicated fan?

Discord Discourse || @joheunsaram​​​💕💔✅

↳ Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server… dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?

Feel Your Touch || @jimilter​​​🔞💕💔✅

↳ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.

Helping Hands || @euphoricfilter​​​🔞💕✅💯

↳ Yoongi always had a knack for fixing things, and with producing getting him nowhere, he ends up working for the school his long-time friend Seokjin, teaches at. With his new job, he meets you, and although your first encounter hadn’t been the best; at least not in Yoongi’s eyes, he could have never guessed how your relationship would bloom. And Yoongi gets to show you his hands can do more than fix your faulty heating. (bob the fcking builder yoongi.)

Oh, Honey! || @yoongiofmine​​🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ Namjoon never wanted a Sugar Baby, no matter what Yoongi and Hoseok said. You never wanted a Sugar Daddy, despite the insistence from Jimin. Until your life takes a turn and you really need the money, fast. What was supposed to be a one night thing, a birthday present for a big time rapper and producer, turns into so much more when you find in each other what you never thought you had been looking for.

Time || @bts-trash-blog​​💕💔🔄💯💯

↳ Time. It's always passing by, always changing things that you wish stayed the same. It brought the good and it brought the bad, hell it brought the down right best time in your life. The best thing in your life came with time. It came with some stumbled steps, tough spots...it came with time.

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[chicken-fifi]

BTS Reaction | Your Niece/Nephew is Possessive Over You

Pairing: BTS Members x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon: May I please request part 2 of bts headcanons? when they try to get close to their crush (like hug her, wrap their arms around her shoulder etc.) their crush's niece or nephew (18 month old) won't let them. The baby is really possessive of their aunt and doesn't like anyone touching her.

A/n: for once i feel like i'm a little bit ahead and being rather productive, but i sill feel very much behind on writing.... anyways i have a funny story to tell that connects to this request. we've all heard about my story thinking my cousin's pregnant wife was fat because she hadn't gone to the bathroom in days right (if not i will find the story later). well that cousin has a younger brother to whom my late aunt is a godparent. every year for my aunt's birthday he would give her a hug and every year my younger brother would fight him for it because he didn't like other people hugging my aunt. he was very jealous and possessive. little ramble, but reminded me of this little memory. happy reading! also for the sake of the this reaction, the situations take place short after the each member is introduced to the niece/nephew from the previous reactions which can be found on the main BTS masterlist.

Tunes: n/a

Jin:

Initially your niece was very wary of Seokjin

Often eyeing him with a lot of suspicious

Especially when he was extremely close to you

It was your birthday when the little girl had first seen the strange man hug you

And while she had seen other people hug before

Something did not sit right with her about sharing her favorite aunt with someone else

She’s promptly separates the two of you giving him a very angry side eye

She’s come a long way we’ll say that

Suga:

We a stubborn niece here

She refused to even acknowledge Yoongi’s presence for long time

Everytime he arrive to any family function she’d make a beeline to you, pulling you away from him

If she feels you’ve spent too much time him over her

You better believe she will feign some sadness or injury to get your attention

But lord forbid she see him hugging you

She’s quick to stop that without a single ounce of hesitation shouting ‘no’ at the top of her lungs

It’s kind of hard to believe he won her over in the end

J-Hope:

This one honestly hurts me to think about

Hoseok also feels extremely upset about the fact that your nephew doesn’t like him one bit

He’d heard you talk so much about the boy and the aunt-nephew bond the two of you have this is so special to you

So naturally he gets excited to meet the boy he’s heard so much about

And that boy hates him

And he quite literally doesn’t know what to do with himself

With how important you’ve said he is to you

He’s afraid this is a deal breaker

If he’s near you and you’re nephew is present

He’s receiving the most judgemental and vaguely threatening stares from the boy

To think that boy would soon be clinging to him like a monkey

RM:

You niece loves many things that you love

Namjoon was originally not included in that list

Sharing you with him?

Nope.

Negative.

Not in a million years

She tries her hardest to keep you with her at all times

But remember she’s very intelligent

She knows you like him a lot

So she eventually caves and it’s for the better

Why didn’t she like him sooner!?

He gives her so much praise!

Jimin:

Jimin laughs at your nephew’s antics

He think it’s endearing that the little boy loves you so much

Even goes out of his way to get him riled up sometimes

But he doesn’t like it when the little guy screams anytime he goes near the two of you

It’s so cute

He’ll gladly get yelled at for the laughs

But he seriously needs to win the little guy over

And boy is he going to try everything he can think of

V:

Silent hater

You nephew opts to simply cling to you while side eyeing Taehyung

Taehyung tries so hard to get the little guy to like him

And it’s so stranger that he doesn’t

He refused to leave the two of you alone in any room

Cockblock much?

He’ll gently push him away from you and take over any hugs and kisses

At some point though he does give in just a little bit

Jungkook:

Your niece does like Jeongguk

A lot actually

But she doesn’t like him taking you away from her

When he’s around you give him all your attention and not her

She doesn’t like that so she tries to get the two of you separate

She clings to you like crazy and just stares at him and pushes him away when she feels he’s too close

She warms up the quickest out everyone else though

It’s really hard not to like her aunt’s cute boyfriend

[btscarnivalnet]

Birthday Reads | PJM

In honour of our favourite Mochi's birthday, BCN has put together a list of fics about Park Jimin, so feel free to click the links and have a read!

Happy Birthday, Jimin! 🐥💕

Going for the Goal by @baljinciaga (18+, smut, fluff) Summary: After Jimin’s great performance during today’s game, the two of you go home to celebrate the big win. If I Were You, I'd Do Me Too by @bangtanintotheroom (18+, smut) Summary: Park Jimin had to be one of the most narcissistic men you had ever had the displeasure of meeting. And yet, you kept finding yourself at his door in the middle of the night like clockwork.

Let Me Love You by @bangtanintotheroom (18+, fluff, angst, smut) Summary: Your best friend has watched over the years as you’ve loved and gotten your heart broken numerous times, leaving him to pick up the pieces. But now he doesn’t know how much longer he can watch you love someone else that wasn’t him. Living Dead Boy by @caelesjjk (18+, smut) Summary: You refuse to let him go. you refuse to believe that he’s really gone. and so you do what you have to do to bring him back. to your surprise, it works. but your sweet and loving boyfriend is not the same, no he’s changed. he’s dangerously sexy and you can’t keep your hands off of him. maybe the new Jimin is the man…or whatever he might be now, of your dreams.

Shadows in the Graveyard by @sunshinerainbowsbts (18+, smut) Summary: You and your boyfriend are driving back from a trip to the haunted corn maze, headed home for a big Halloween bash, when a blown-out tire derails your evening. Stranded in the middle of the woods, Jimin promises you he’ll still make it worth your while - but that’s only if you survive whatever the dark shadows chanting in the old graveyard have resurrected. Claim by @sunshinerainbowsbts (18+, smut) Summary: “You smell so good,” he whispers, and you shiver, from the chill of his nose as it skims along the curve of your throat. “Why do you smell so good tonight?" Glitterball by @herecomesjoon (18+, fluff, smut) Cruel Summer by @herecomesjoon (18+, fluff, smut) Summary: While you’re home for the summer, your boyfriends on the other side of the country miss you. Fever by @hobeemin (18+, angst, smut) Summary: He knew he had to have her the moment their eyes met. jimin was known for his insatiable appetite. women flocked to him in droves until you arrived hardly impressed and not giving him the time of day. will he succeed? or will a sense of duty overcloud your judgment?

Phone Sex by @mochilatae (18+, smut) Summary: Your best friend Park Jimin needs your consolation after another break up. At least that's what he told you. You let him come over ahead of a planned date night with your boyfriend Kim Namjoon. Things get interesting when you realize what Jimin really wanted. BFFS by @mochilatae (18+, smut) Summary: Your BFF is a treasure. You love him almost as much as your boyfriend. A harmless afternoon turns to something hotter. Shiny Things by @playmetheclassics (18+, smut, fluff) Summary: You get a piercing, and it’s shiny, Jimin likes shiny things. Purely Sinful by @hobeemin (18+, smut, fluff)

Yours by @pjmsdior (pg 15, angst, fluff) Summary: In which your lingering feelings for a handsome and alluring man you’d once thought to be the most important person in your life continues to haunt you, along with the stinging realization that he’ll never be yours King of Hearts by @pjmsdior (pg-13, fluff, angst) Summary: in which park jimin, an arrogant and flirty prince, tries his absolute best to convince you that he could give you the world. Please Lie to Me by @ressjeon (18+, angst, fluff, smut) Summary: “centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?” Boo...Yah! by @ressjeon (18+, fluff, smut) Summary: You’ve been hoping that Taehyung will get the message when you keep on ignoring him for months now but what if his very inviting best friend offers something that will for sure relay your answer? Stranger Things by @magicshopaholic (18+, fluff, angst) Summary: Jimin’s horny, but you’re on your period. Familiar Faces by @magicshopaholic (18+, fluff, angst, smut) Summary: Years after falling out over an unspoken yet common misunderstanding, Jimin finds himself face to face with his most significant ex-girlfriend at a party. Dirty Laundry by @jeonqkooks (18+, fluff, smut) Summary: You knew Jimin was working two jobs to help pay for his studies; you just never imagined this would be one of his side hustles. I Can Do Better by @here4btsfics (18+, smut) Summary: Your boyfriend of two years just dumped you and you’re angry and sad. So get hammered with your coworker at his place and eat bad food and watch trash TV. Which leads to some interesting conversations. New Years Resolutions by @sugarushsuga (18+, smut) Summary: New Year’s party with old friends make old feelings resurface. You don’t have many expectations or resolutions for the up coming year. Until Jimin brings a new light over all the old things left behind.

[raplinesmoon]

2022 End of Year Writing Recap

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

I was tagged by @reliablemitten @augustbutwinter @kithtaehyung @bangtanintotheroom!! Thank you all so much 💜

As usual, I left this this until the last 20 minutes of 2022 😅

Top 5 works you’re most proud of (not necessarily your most popular)

1. On The Ropes - do i even have to say whyyyy? to this day im shocked that this amazing story came out of my brain, and that these characters were received with so much love and appreciation. they are endlessly my favorites and I never wanna stop writing for them 💜

2. Sensualidad - HOBIIII!! 😈 I just love how fun this fic was, and this Hoseok was one of my favourite characters to write! I also got the chance to write out one of my very first dreams that I wanted to turn into a fic, so that made it a big bucket list fic for me

3. An Age of Oddities - another Hobi fic, but I’m truly in love with the writing style, I tried something different and I’m super proud of how it turned out and emulated the vibes of a gothic novel!! 🥀

4. Doom Boy - because it is literally Sexy Nukim Joon personified!? That song wrecked me like nothing else, and the smut in this one is some of my favorite I’ve ever written, along with the scene in the rain 💗

5. The House The Sea Built - A newbie on the list, but Indigo was just so mind boggling and life changing for me that I had to pay tribute to it somehow, and I really got to reflect on the beauty and emotions Namjoon poured into the album while writing this! 🥰

Top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release:

Oh gosh, I can’t say much but I’ll just drop some ideas 🥴

1. Did It All For Love - a little Tae bday fic that is late, but should be coming your way soon!

2. Gayeon - my birthday fic for Yoongi that is going to break me and heal me and put me back together

3. Thorns and Honeysuckle/The Portrait Of Kim Seokjin - I’m excited to pick up the hyung line classic lit series again!!

4. Breaking the Ice - hockey player/roommate Namjoon… that’s the tweet 👀

Top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

1. Writing longer and more cohesive fics - i attribute this to finally planning out and outlining fics!! sometimes it does take longer but it truly has been the reason I’ve been able to write multiple long fics and have them be fleshed out and the stories fully realized

2. Shifting to writing the stories I want to tell - I’ve been able to tell myself fo just go ahead and write something that I want to, and not worry about notes or reception, even if it’s off beat or unconventional 💕

3. Changing up my writing style!! - I was able to experiment with different styles, like in An Age of Oddities, and when I read my writing back, I’m proud of how it sounds so much like the style I wanted to evoke but also me at the same time!

Top 2 resolutions for the new year

1. Giving myself time and writing in stages rather than all at once!

2. Finishing my current wips!! - always wishful thinking 🤣

Number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year

I mean this just had to be the winner 🤍

“I want you, Seokjin. All of you, even the broken parts. I want us to take those shattered pieces of ourselves and build something new together.”

And we made it, with four minutes to spare!! Thank you son much for everything this year, writing is more fun with you guys around, and here’s to an even more wonderful 2023!! 🎇

[namchyoon]

ANNA HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! 🎊❤️🎉🎁✨️❤️💘🎊🎉❤️💘✨️🎉 happy birthday to the one of the most wonderful, funniest, most enthusiastic, supportive and kind-hearted people i've ever had the pleasure to meet in this fandom!!! ❤️✨️ i hope you have an amazing day aheas and feel how much you're loved and adored by the people around you and please know that no matter how bad i am at texting back in time, i am and always will be one of ur biggest supporters because i love you very dearly 🥺❤️ you've made the past 3 years on here feel like home and i can never imagine this fandom and this platform in general without you 🥺❤️ wishing you a lovely year ahead, filled with joy and warmth and fellow namjoon lovers, museum dates, good food and mono. part 2!!! ❤️❤️❤️

ALICEEEE i'm actually so glad i'm actually replying to this because my unanswered wish from last year is still haunting me this is my batman redemption arc 😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH all those kind words coming from the actual best person on this hellsite is very overwhelming and your way with words is like no other because the extreme warm fuzzies i'm feeling just from reading this message is the exact warm fuzzies i get from your very presence 🤍 i really did and i hope you also had an amazing day because you deserve it every day regardless of what day it is hehe and i hope you never worry about texting back on time or ever because it's always completely fine with me so don't pressure yourself! 🥺 i hope you know it's the same for me that i can't imagine tumblr without alice's amazing tags and even more stunning gifs 😭 AND THANK YOUUUU i'm wishing you the same + pjm1 (and really hoping he drops a teaser on YOUR birthday hehe <3)

[serendipitybutterfly]

Finally, I managed to find time to do Namjoon's Birthday Year Ahead Reading! This was very interesting and also very sweet. The focus for the year ahead for Namjoon seems to be very much about emotions, connections and relationships with others rather than work, business or even just focus on the self.

So without further ado...

As always, I'll talk about the signifiers first. We have the King of Wands in reverse and the 4 of Pentacles. This represents the major theme of this reading and therefore of his year ahead... As I interpret it, that theme is restraint, holding something back. There's an interesting duality here in this reading though where I feel there's some sense of release and freedom (King of Wands) but at the same time there's this huge need to hide that release and freedom and / or what's causing it (it's reversed and paired with the 4 of pentacles). That 4 of pentacles is staring me down telling me "keep some things secret and sacred and just for you and people you love". He's not the usual miserly 4 of pentacles. No, this guy is guarding his heart and he's telling his more free, passionate and daring side to hold back... Even when sometimes he wants to shout about something to the world.

OK, into the body of the reading to really get to why this advice is coming up. So immediately we see Temperance come up like a hammer to the nail of what the signifiers were saying! Temperance and the Ace of Cups to be exact. He's being advised to be very careful and precise when handling matters involving feelings and emotions. It's a delicate balancing act. I was being drawn to looking at the angel's feet; one on land and one dipped into the water. It's like he's being advised that even as he explores his feelings and emotions (which is good) he needs to remember to keep one foot on dry land, in reality, and be careful about how he handles himself. Honestly, I was getting the impression of a volatile chemical churning up and wanting to explode being handled very carefully by a clever scientist. Except in this analogy, Namjoon is both the scientist and the chemical... He needs to manage himself by stopping his feels from spilling over. To put it another way (because I keep looking at the feet, one on water and one on land, and the water being poured between two cups), he needs to take care not to let his personal life spill into his professional life through him literally spilling the beans... See the word spilling just keeps coming... Namjoon don't spill your own tea!

As to what this tea is that is to be spilt... Please, as always, keep in mind that this is a speculative reading for the year ahead based purely on this very present moment in which I'm doing this reading... But anyway, yeah... A good chance Namjoon could be falling in love love... I mean, based on what I'm seeing here. And, if that happens for him, I couldn't be happier! Right, so let me get into why I think this based on these cards...

So we've got the two of cups coming up with this reversed Queen of wands and let me tell you, when I saw this queen of wands come out my first reaction was like 'seriously?!' but then... I was like... Pause... Because I wasn't getting the same energy from this reversed queen as I did from previous readings at all. In those readings she came as a trouble maker and some kind of negative influence... Here, this queen comes as an equal. Not perfect. Not a fantasy or an ideal. She comes as a real woman... And he will be able to relate to her extremely well. I mean, look at the picture! I was focusing on the message of the 2 of cups and the Queen and then I realised that the reversed King and Queen of Wands are both in this reading and they are united by the 2 of cups sitting between them!!! It's right there! A union of equals united by empathising with each other and understanding each other's weaknesses... I got shivers a bit honestly.

Next we see The Lovers and 9 of Swords in reverse... I mean... There you go. Now, to be clear, The Lovers card is not always about romantic love. It's often about connections and partnerships between people (just like the 2 of cups. In fact, the 2 of cups can be seen as a softer echo of The Lovers). However here, in the context of this reading as a whole, I can't help but see that the year ahead holds huge potential for romance for Namjoon. The Lovers paired with this reversed 9 of Swords tells me that he may well encounter a love that frees him from anxiety and stress (makes sense if it's someone he feels is an equal - his match - who will listen and truly understand, right?). There's a sense of relief and release here which is just... Really nice.

Then he's got the 10 of cups and Reversed 5 of cups and... Wow. First of all, talk about a beautiful turn around... Going from the 5 of cups energy (looking longingly over at something in the distance which you feel you can't have) to the 10 of cups, literal domestic bliss?! 💜 So sweet! Soooo sweet! And I'm all soft because I'm getting the impression that he really was looking at others being all 'happy families' with their significant others (I mean I'm the same age as Namjoon and I get it! Your friends start getting into serious relationships or actually getting married and starting families around about this age!) and feeling kind of sad because he felt like all of that was so far away for him... But meeting this person will change that! I mean look at the 10 of cups... That really is his dream... That's why he said it in that interview... You know what I'm soft... Stop! I also think this refers to him perhaps spending more time with his family and being at home with them more. Just being in a home environment with family is important for him in the year ahead... This definitely means his actual blood relative family and family home but I think it also extends to having more non-business related down time with the members and maybe other friends he views as family.

OK, whew... Breather from the feels. The last two cards are actually giving me a message not so much to do with relationships and emotions... At least not directly (it's definitely connected because everything in this reading is connected. It's just talking more about another aspect of life). The Hanged Man and 3 of Pentacles reversed are talking about something being put on hold. Specifically something he's working on as an artist. He's going to need to be patient and be sort of 'zen' about it despite potential frustrations that may arise due to the delay or block.

This is also a time to show restraint when it comes to that fiery King of wands energy that might try to emerge; perhaps this time in the form of anger or frustration. I do also think that tying in more with the subject of the bulk of this reading, he's being advised to have patience in his relationships as well because he will eventually get everything he wants... But just as a master artist puts a lot of hard work into perfecting his craft, so too do we have to be willing to invest time, energy and focus in building our relationships with others. It won't come immediately and without any challenges at all. Patience and perseverance is key.

From the Earth Magic oracle deck, Namjoon got the advice of the Tree : Grounding card (which I thought was so perfect for him). This card speaks of Grounding oneself in earthy energy through connecting with nature (something I think Namjoon already does and finds great peace in). I also see it as him returning to his roots in some way shape or form. I do think he will spend some more time in his family home and will also slowly start planting his own roots in earnest for his future...

The Messages from Your Angels oracle card I got was Grace and Antoinette. It reads:

To help heal this situation, see the other person's point of view with compassion.

This, I think, goes back to an overall theme of connection and relationships in this reading. I'm getting the message 'be considerate' from this card. Try to consider things from all sides and also consider others in general. I think he will have a lot points of view and potential actions and outcomes to consider in the year ahead... But what's new? He's Kim Namjoon. Nevertheless it's clearly part of a major theme and big lesson for him him this year; being conscious of how things he says and does can affect the feelings of others and just being conscious of what others are thinking and feeling in general will be a big thing for him it looks like. Not just because being more considerate is a good thing; being conscious of what others are thinking and feeling may actually protect him somehow.

The numerology of this reading is 9 which is a number which represents completion and reaching the end of a cycle in order to start a new one. Similar to Jungkook, in a sense I think Namjoon is ready to start a new phase in his life and therefore we may well see a new side of him. Not in the sense that he's changing drastically (not in the way Kookie is actually seriously setting about becoming the man he's meant to be) but rather, he will probably reveal more of his thoughts and feelings about certain things... Though hopefully not too much! Happy belated birthday Joonie!

[likeastarstar]

Birthday Boy Pt. 2

Summary: WARNING! smut ahead. Can be read alone but this connects to Birthday Boy. Later that day your follow through on your promise of head <3

masterlist.

"Do we have to go?"

"Yes."

"But what if we just stayed in instead?"

"No."

"Got it," Namjoon sighed, walking into the bedroom that you shared.

You rolled your eyes and clipped your bra on, adjusting the straps so that they sat smoothly on your shoulders. It was his birthday- of course you had to go to the dinner you had spent the last three weeks planning. You had been saving up for this for two months, insisting on paying for everything yourself. Namjoon was rich, clearly- but you weren't a moocher. So you had rented out his favorite restaurant, spent a week trying to coordinate everyone's schedules so his best friends could be there, days finding the right decorations, hours setting up the entire place earlier today when he went hiking with some friends.

Everything was perfect and you just needed Namjoon to suck it up and go to his fucking birthday party.

"Are you read- woah."

You turned around, Namjoon standing in the closet doorway with his eyes stuck on your tits. You couldn't blame him, you did happen to have on a very extravagant lingerie set. It was a dark green color, lacey, and sheer in the right places- a matching bra and panty set with a garter belt to match. The belt was a little extra but it was worth it, given the look on his face right now. He watched you pull a pair of stockings up your legs and clip them securely to the belt with a blank look on his face, hands clenching and unclenching around air.

"I'm almost ready," You smiled, putting your hands on your hips.

"You take birthdays way too seriously," He breathed out, still unable to take his eyes away from your body.

"You've told me that already," You nodded. He was right, you were being unnecessarily celebratory. But this year had been hard and he deserved one day of perfection.

"I really like the color," He mumbled, watching you walk towards him and place your hands delicately over his. You guided his hands to your ass before hooking yours around his neck, peering up at him with innocent eyes.

"Do you wanna touch?" You asked, your voice quiet and demure- the exact opposite of your actual personality.

He nodded and tightened his grip on your backside, kissing you slowly. You smiled into the kiss, feeling him away the two of you side to side like you were dancing. "Well too bad. Go sit on the bed," You instructed, nudging him backwards.

Namjoon did so willingly, watching you tie your hair up into a ponytail with ease, "Oh shit- I was kidding about the head before dinner thing."

"I wasn't," You snorted, getting on your knees between his legs.

You placed your hands on his inner thighs, pushing his legs further apart as he leaned back to untuck the front of his dress shirt. You worked on his zipper, sliding it down easily and easing his cock out, wiggling slightly in your place between his legs. You loved his cock, could spend hours focusing on just that one part of his body. You hummed in contentment, smiling softly, "Ah, I'm going to enjoy this."

"You're looking at my dick like it's your friend," Joon chuckled, only laughing harder when you shot him a glare.

"It is my friend," You noted. Namjoon reached out a hand towards your figure, hand going directly towards the soft skin of your neck. You slapped his hand away lightly, sending him a warning glance, "No touchie."

"It's my birthday," He whined, pouting.

"You can touch after we get home from the dinner. Unwrap me as your last birthday present." You smirked, taking his cock in one hand and licking a tentative stripe down the length so that he was nice and wet.

He groaned, feeling your tongue on his skin and leaned back even further, hips bucking up towards you. You smiled wider, pumping him with two hands and twisting at the head of his cock, admiring the way it was starting to grow underneath your touch. His cock was a dream, long, thick, and smooth. You stared at it wondering how on earth this thing fit in you, wishing it was in you now.

But there was no time for that- you had a reservation to make.

Instead, you took the head of his cock into your mouth and sunk down quickly, wiggling your tongue on the underside of it as you took him in further. You deepthroated him instantly, choking slightly before pulling up and replacing your mouth with your hand.

"Holy shit," He moaned, chest rising and falling in hard pants.

You swirled your tongue over the plump head of his cock, tasting the salty precum beading at the top. You teased the ridge, licking, and sucking as much of his length as you could take in your mouth comfortably. Your hand made up for wasted space, twisting and pulsing at the base of his cock in a quick rhythm. You squeezed your thighs together, ignoring the heat pooling in your stomach as you looked up at your boyfriend, who looked like he was about to cry.

You were doing a good job.

Massaging the skin of his inner thigh, you grazed down to his balls, taking both of them in your hand and caressing the soft skin lightly. You explored the texture freely, pulling off of his dick to take each of them in your mouth and sucked lightly, still stroking his cock with a hand. Namjoon moaned and his jaw fell open, the look of sheer pleasure on his face enough to have you moaning around his balls as his hips flexed into your face.

"Baby-"

You nodded and knew what he wanted, releasing his balls with a 'pop' and going back to sucking the life out of his cock. He felt silky in your mouth, the taste of him filling your mouth as he thrust into your face in long, fluid strokes. You felt lightheaded and reminded yourself to breath through your nose, getting caught up in the moment to remember that you actually had to inhale oxygen. His hands were balled into fists behind him, holding his body up while trying to resist grabbing the sides of your face to fuck your face. He was driving you crazy, the way he looked completely lost to lust, your name rolling out of his mouth in a whiny tone. You took him further and tried deepthroating him again, a bit more sucessfully this time.

You swallowed around him and heard him gasp- "I'm gonna fucking cum."

You nodded and patted his thigh lightly, letting him speed up the jerking of his hips until creamy fluid filled your mouth and you sucked harder, milking his orgasm. Namjoon groaned, falling back flat on the bed, his breathing heavy and labored. You pulled off of him when he had completely finished, sitting back on your heels to catch your breath for a moment.

"Jesus Christ," Namjoon groaned, propping himself up on his elbows, "That was amazing."

You smiled at him and wiped the corners of your lips, knowing you probably had to touch up your makeup now, "I love you!" You grinned, sending him an innocent smile as if you hadn't just done something entirely dirty to him.

"You're a minx, you know that?" He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You love it," You shrugged, standing up slowly. "I'm going to put my dress on and brush my teeth and then we'll leave, okay?"

He nodded and tucked himself back into his pants, wrapping an arm around your waist before you could go very far. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you, smiling against your lips.

"Thank you, I love you," He whispered to you, nuzzling his nose against yours.

"Don't say thank you yet- you still have to get through this dinner and unwrap your last present," You said cheekily, gesturing to the lingerie set you had on. He gave you one last squeeze and let you off his lap, watching you walk towards the bathroom.

"Can I eat my birthday cake off of your ass?" He asked, staring at your backside.

"You're insatiable," You gasped in disbelief. You turned back around to stare at him, watching him wiggle his eyebrows suggestively. "Yeah- yes, you can."

Good thing you were also insatiable when it came to Namjoon.

(A/N: this is DIIIRTTYYY. Can you tell who my bias is? Feedback is appreciated!)

[justanotherstarlightmonger]

Sam’s Masterlist ( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)

((Requests are always open))

BANGTAN BOYS:

A winter’s night with them part 1 (All the fluff)

Part 2 (even more fluff)

YOONMIN X READER:

Make it right (smut) (slight dark themes)

ALL PARTS OF THE MAKE IT RIGHT SERIES CAN BE READ AS ONE SHOTS AS WELL AS CONTINUATION TO THE PREVIOUS PARTS!!

((Running away from an abusive relationship, and a lot of repressed trauma, reader learns to face her fear of intimacy with the help of her two best friends who show her that not every relationship brings scars.))

Part 2 (smut)

((A friendly Friday night turns steamy easily given your two eager best friends and your new budding sexual relationship))

Part 3 (smut)

((Yoongi's birthday had to be special, the most special he ever had. And not only you, but Jimin also went all out to make it so))

Piece of Peace NAVIGATION (fluff) (smut)

((Park Jimin and Min Yoongi had forgone the city life months ago, opting to settle into their dream cottage in the woods born of dreams and furnished with love. And it was always going to be them. Until the biggest thunderstorm of the year carried an unexpected guest to their door smack dab in the middle of them living their isolated dream.))

Park Jimin:

No one else for me (smut) (Yandere AU)

((You had run away from him. You had your whole world and future ahead of you. But soon you realized, you were dead to the outside world. The people you cared about had long since forgotten and forgone your memory. There was only one way to safety, and that way was behind you.))

Only for you (smut) (Yandere AU)

((This one shot has the same setting as "No one else for me". You're an attention loving little brat. Not to mention a good amount of jealous of Jimin's female colleague. But you were his attention loving little brat. In fact, you were his princess.))

More than my life (angst) (Mafia AU) (dark themes)

((You walked out of Jimin’s life because he was a dangerous man. But you quickly realize that Jimin wasn’t dangerous to you, rather there were much more dangerous people out there.))

Let me in, darling. (Smut) (supernatural AU)

(( Incubus Jimin has a hard time accepting that you would compromise your own pleasure for someone who'd last not 5 minutes, and proceeds to show you real pleasure. ))

DRABBLES:

I could use a hug (fluff)

Long Distance AU (smut) 

Home... Somehow (fluff) (noona reader)

Something they serve in Heaven (fluff)

The unfinished breakfast, among other things. (Fluff)

Your light (Angst)

TIMESTAMPS:

[ 2:23 am ] In which Jimin helps your mind slow down so you can sleep.

Min Yoongi (SUGA):

Series:

Helsinki. (Angst) (Mafia AU)

((A war of wits does have some rules too. But if one party refuses to acknowledge the sacred rule of leaving family out of it, the other must retaliate stronger to quell any such advances for the future… Or at least that’s what Min Yoongi told himself when he abducted Kim Namjoon’s younger sister. That was before he realized that this elaborate game of chess didn’t have just two players and before he had promised Namjoon he’d keep her safe, But also before he realized that one month was enough to leave his whole life in chaos.))

NAVIGATION

One shots:

She looks yours (fluff)

((Friends to lovers, Idiots to lovers. You both want each other but can’t bring the words out of your mouth. JUST SAY IT GUYS!))

Part 2 (smut)

With what? (fluff)

((Min Yoongi is never one for light physical affection, but an overworked, panicking girlfriend comes above physical barriers, doesn’t she?))

The song thief (smut) GENDERBENT

((Min Yoonji makes sure you're not stealing her latest song))

DRABBLES:

New year's in January (fluff)

The vampire pianist (angst) (supernatural)

Ice cream makes everything better (fluff)

An astronomical botheration (fluff)

Jung Hosoek (J-hope):

Mile high Club (smut)

((Your man spoils you, and eagerly gives you whatever you want. So how will you convince him to give you his dick, miles above civilization?))

DRABBLES:

I'm your Hope. (Fluff)

Kim Taehyung (V):

Family AU (fluff) (dark themes)

((A perfect family is all you and Taehyung ever wanted, and you have that, so why are you riddled with guilt most of your waking moments?))

DRABBLES:

coming soon

Kim Namjoon (RM):

DRABBLES:

His good girl (smut)

The diamond choker (smut)

Joonie's shirts (fluff)

Kim Seokjin (Jin):

COMING SOON

Jeon Jungguk (Jungkook):

I'm not lying

(Your boyfriend who has severe trust and anger issues makes your realize just how wrong your relationship is)

DRABBLES:

Lunch break (fluff)

Midnight sweetness (fluff)

Delayed flights and lattes (fluff)

Laugh till you can't scream (fluff)

Highly encouraged cuddles (fluff)

The morning after (fluff)

Jungkook was a soft lover (fluff)

[btsqualityy]

Magnolias In Springtime: Part Two

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Arranged marriage!AU, ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, fluff, and smut

Warnings: Mentions of infertility, mentions of miscarriages, unprotected sex, dirty talk, impregnation sex, impregnation kink, oral (both Namjoon and reader receiving), penetrative sex, squirting, knotting and creampie.

Author’s Note: You guys know that I always post something on my birthday so here it is! This is the second and final part to Magnolias in Springtime! If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here! Truthfully, this second part was just an excuse for me to write Namjoon impregnation smut lol But I hope you guys enjoy it!

It’s crazy how much things could change and yet stay the same in the span of a year. 

You still loved your home pack, going back to see the Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that helped shaped you into the person you were today at least once a month. You were still spoiled by your parents, who made it their personal mission to shower you with gifts whenever they had the opportunity to see their only child. Most of all, you still used the skills that you had learned in your childhood pack as you prepared to become leader of your new pack with your husband. 

Speaking of your husband, Namjoon was the best and most enjoyable change in your life as you had spent the past year falling in love with him. 

Admittedly, adjusting to being in a marriage and to a man that you did not know or choose beforehand was hard, but you quickly found out that Namjoon was one of the most amazing people that you had ever met in your life. He was strong, dependable, and trustworthy just like a typical Alpha but you were delighted to find that he was also big on communication and making sure that you felt comfortable enough to talk to him, he was caring, and even sensitive in certain situations. He had quickly become your best friend and you found yourself falling for him not long after the wedding was over.

“Y/N?” Eun Kyung called out and you shook your head as you broke out of your thoughts. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sheepishly as you turned to look at your mother in law. “Can you repeat what you said? I wasn’t listening.”

“I see that,” she smiled knowingly. “A lot on your mind?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged as you fiddled with the handle of the tea cup that was in front of you. 

“Well, that’s understandable sweetie,” she assured you. “We’ve all been so busy getting ready for the Coronation, it’s no wonder that your thoughts are all over the place.” 

In the year since you and Namjoon had gotten married, Namjoon’s father Ho-jin had begun to slowly pass over the responsibilities of being Pack Alpha over to Namjoon. Two months ago, he had announced his official retirement and Namjoon would be having a Coronation to celebrate a new era of power. Of course, you would be celebrated as well given the fact that you would be replacing Eun Kyung as Pack Omega. 

“Anything you want to discuss?” Eun Kyung wondered. 

“You don’t mind?”

“Y/N-ah, that’s what we started these weekly tea dates for, remember?” She pointed out with a giggle and you smiled as you thought back on how your mother in law had insisted that you two meet every Tuesday aftermoon in order to talk and spend time together. At first, you were weary of it but it’s quickly become one of the highlights of your week, every week.

“I guess I’m just nervous about becoming Pack Omega,” you confessed. “I mean, I’m not from this pack and even though it seems like everyone likes me well enough, that might change once Namjoon’s officially Pack Alpha.”

“You remember how I told you about how my marriage to Ho-jin was arranged and how I replaced his mother when the time came?” Eun Kyung asked and you nodded your head. “I had the exact same fears as you do now and my mother in law, may she rest with the ancestors, gave me an amazing piece of advice that I have used continuously over the past 30 years. Wanna know what it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Your only duty as Pack Omega is to support your Alpha,” Eun Kyung began. “Whether that means reassuring him that he’s making a right decision, comforting him when he’s stressed and upset or even cussing him out when he’s dead wrong. The job of a Pack Leader is a stressful one and they must know that even if it feels like the world is on their shoulders, they will always have one person in their corner and that’s us.”

“That’s it?” You giggled and Eun Kyung nodded with a smile, pausing to take a sip of her tea before continuing.

“It seems intuitive right, because we’re Omegas ourselves but being the spouse of a Pack Leader means that we always have to shoulder a little bit more, whether it be more pain, more sadness, more hope,” she explained. “But I guarantee you, making sure that Namjoon is taken care will be the greatest thing that you can do for the pack.”

“I believe you,” you said. “I just know that Namjoon isn’t gonna make it easy for me. You know how he is about work and making sure the pack’s taken care of.”

“Don’t worry, Ho-jin already said that he plans to talk to him about finding a healthy balance,” Eun Kyung told you. 

“Good,” you smiled as you brought your tea cup to your mouth, taking a long sip from it. 

“Speaking of that though, there was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about,” she said and you lowered your cup from your lips.

“Go ahead,” you encouraged her before taking another sip.

“Are you and Namjoon....uh....fulfilling your....marital duties?” She wondered and you choked on your tea, immediately setting your cup down as you coughed harshly. Eun Kyung reached over and gave you several strong pats on the back, which helped you regulate your breathing again. 

“Uh, why do you ask?” You chuckled nervously.

“Well, with the coronation coming up, there’s been talk about the fact that you aren’t pregnant yet,” Eun Kyung elaborated and your eyes widened in realization. “Some people are beginning to become concerned.”

“And you’re one of them?” You shot back. 

“Yes, but not in the way that you’re thinking,” she laughed. “I’m worried about you as a person and not about your ability to conceive.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like to have your worth evaluated only in terms of how many kids you can pop out,” she smiled sadly and as her words registered with you, your jaw dropped as you put the pieces together. 

“Eun Kyung, you?”

“I struggled with infertility, yes,” she confirmed. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you reached out, setting one of your hands on top of hers. She turned her hand around and intertwined your fingers with hers. 

“Oh, I’m ok sweetie,” she swore. “After Ho-jin and I got married, we had miscarriage after miscarriage and it took six years before I got pregnant with Namjoon and he became our miracle baby. I’m telling you all this because I known how isolating that struggle can be and if that’s the case for you, I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

“I appreciate it Eun Kyung, but I don’t think that’s the case for Namjoon and I,” you muttered. “We’re just taking things slow and not rushing it. I mean, we’ve only been married for a year and we have years to have babies.”

“Alright sweetheart, alright,” Eun Kyung laughed. “I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you and if that’s how you and Namjoon feel, then I’ll get everyone else off your back.”

“Thank you,” you smiled gratefully and she tightened the grip that she had on your hand reassuringly. 

“No problem. Now, onto more important business,” she grinned. “Finding you a dress to wear for the coronation.” You nodded your head immediately, grateful that she changed the direction of the conversation because you had no idea how to tell her that you and Namjoon had only had sex a handful of times in the last year. 

.............................................

After finally leaving Ho-jin and Eun Kyung’s house a few hours later, you went home and made dinner. As usual, Namjoon came home around 6 and the two of you sat down in your dining room together, eating and talking about how your days went. 

Everything was going very normally until Namjoon called out to you as you both worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

“Y/N-ah?” He said. 

“Hmm?” 

“Did my mom say something to you today about a baby?” He wondered and you turned to look over at him, watching as he continued to wash the dishes as if he hadn’t just asked you what he did. 

“How did you know?” You asked.

“My father said something about it to me today after our meeting,” Namjoon sighed and you walked over to him, leaning against the counter so that you could look at him. 

“She did too, and she told me about her infertility,” you told him. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because it’s super personal to her and I didn’t know if she would be comfortable with me telling you,” he explained. “But why do you think I wanted 5 pups initially?”

“I get it now,” you giggled. “What did your dad say when he brought it up?”

“It was definitely less diplomatic than my mom,” he chuckled as he finished rinsing off the dishes and began drying off his hands. “He went on and on about how our family legacy needs to continue on and if we’re able, we need to have at least a few kids.”

“Hmm,” you murmured and Namjoon looked at you skeptically, raising his eyebrow.

“What’s that mean?” He laughed. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged as you looked down at your feet but he didn’t buy that, throwing the towel that he was holding onto the counter and moving closer to you.

“Hey, talk to me,” he pleaded and you sighed heavily before squaring your shoulders and looking up at him again.

“Why don’t you ever try to have sex with me?” You demanded to know. “I mean, besides our wedding night, we’ve only had sex during my two heats and your rut, and I’m guessing that you didn't tell your father that.”

“No, I didn’t tell him that,” Namjoon huffed with a smile. “And the reason that I haven’t been trying is because I don’t want to push you. Even though we both agreed to this marriage, it still never leaves my mind that you didn’t really choose this. I don’t want to force you into yet another life changing decision, because pups are forever.”

“Hey, I wasn’t forced into anything,” you gently corrected him. “Yeah, I had to make a choice to save my pack but I did that because I wanted to. Plus, you didn’t necessarily choose this either.”

“I know but still,” he muttered. “I just didn’t want you to think that you were obligated to have sex with me, let alone have my pups. And as for the heat and rut thing, it was easier because you asked for me during your heat and during my rut, I could blame it on my hormones.”

“You sure that it’s not because you’re not attracted to me?” You joked lamely and Namjoon smacked his lips together as he set his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. 

“Baby, you’re the most gorgeous woman that I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he told you seriously. “I think the world of you, and you know that.”

“It’s kind of hard to remember,” you admitted. 

“I should have explained to you my reasoning and for that, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “But don’t you ever think for one second that I don’t want you. I think about you all the time, my Alpha gets nervous anytime that I’m away from you for too long and hell, my cock gets hard as soon as you look at me with these eyes.”

“Namjoon,” you whined through giggles, which made him smile as he looked at you fondly. 

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d have sex with you whenever you wanted,” he said. 

“I’m comfortable with it,” you assured him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“But what about pups?” You whispered, your lips moving against his as you spoke.

“Baby, I’d love to see you pregnant with my pups,” he told you. “If it were up to just me, you’d always be pregnant. All you have to do is say the word.”

“I want your pups Alpha,” you murmured as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Please.” Without another word, Namjoon bent down and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal and cling onto him as he carried you bridal style out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

“I could’ve walked!” You exclaimed while giggling. 

“This is more romantic,” he winked at you. After making it up the stairs, he walked down the hallway to your bedroom, using one hand to open the door before stepping inside. He walked over to the bed, laying you down gently before crawling on top of you and kissing you passionately. 

You moaned into his mouth, your legs coming up to wrap themselves around his waist as you pulled him closer to you. He moved away from your lips eventually, his mouth trailing downwards and sucking on the mating mark that he had given you on your wedding night. 

“You’re perfect baby,” he mumbled against your skin and you could barely reply because he had begun to grind against you. The thin layer of your leggings did little to inhibit the feeling, and you felt yourself whining as you became more turned on. 

“W-wanna suck you off,” you whispered shyly and he pulled his face out of your neck, looking down at you with a smile. 

“Alright,” he nodded before climbing off of you, settling himself next to you on the bed. You sat up then, reaching down and pulling off your t-shirt before letting Namjoon help you unclip your bra. Even though the two of you hadn’t had sex as often as you hoped, you had sex often enough to know that your husband was definitely a breast man and he loved to see them while you gave him a blow job. 

You moved down the bed and settled yourself on your stomach in between his legs, pulling down the shorts he had on and his boxers just enough so that his cock fell out, taking ahold of it in both of your hands. He was almost fully hard and you didn’t waste any time taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip.

“Fuck,” Namjoon groaned deeply and hearing your Alpha feel good only spurred you on. You then took him as deep into your mouth as you could, making him moan from how good your throat felt around his cock. Once you deemed him wet enough, you began to bob your head up and down, using your hands to stroke the parts of his shaft that you couldn’t reach with your mouth. 

“Good girl baby,” he praised you. “So good to my cock.” You could feel yourself getting wet but you were too focused on doing your best to make your husband feel good. As you continued to suck him off for a few minutes, you could feel his cock beginning to throb lightly and you knew that meant that he was close to coming. Just as that thought registered in your mind though, Namjoon reached down and pulled himself out of your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” You wondered. 

“You're sucking me off a little too well baby,” he chuckled. “I was about to come embarrassingly fast.”

“That’s ok,” you shrugged. 

“Not if you want my pups inside of you instead of in your mouth,” he smirked, making you blush at his words. “Here, switch places with me.” You sat up and shuffled on your knees up the bed, turning yourself around before laying down on your back. Namjoon then sat up and grabbed ahold of the waist band of your leggings, pulling them down along with your panties. You let your legs fall out and Namjoon licked his lips once he set his eyes on your bare pussy.

“I knew it,” he grumbled, reaching out and letting his middle finger ghost over your clit. “I could tell you were getting wet baby, I could smell your scent from your pussy.” Without giving you the chance to reply, he dove forward and sucked your clit into his mouth. You cried out, your back arching up off of the bed as he suckled on your clit. 

“Damn it,” you whimpered, lifting your head and watching him as he began to leave wide licks up your slit. 

“Let’s see how you do with a finger,” Namjoon muttered, pausing the actions of his tongue in order to slide his middle finger inside of you. 

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, letting your had fall back against the bed. 

“You’re so tight baby, you’re just swallowing my finger,” Namjoon groaned. You felt movement on the bed and when you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see that Namjoon was now laying next to you on the bed, looking down at you as he pushed a second finger in alongside his 

“You want Alpha to make you come like this?” He wondered aloud as he began to thrust his finger in and out of you. “Wanna come on my fingers?”

“Please,” you nodded and he smiled as he began to fuck you faster. Namjoon’s fingers were long and slender, meaning that he as able to reach the deepest parts of you without it being too overwhelming to you. 

“Ha, ha,” you moaned in time with his thrusts.

“You’re dripping baby,” he told you but you didn’t even hear him because you could feel your orgasm winding to it’s end in your core.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced and nothing could’ve prepared you for Namjoon pulling his fingers out of you. You whipped your head to look over at him, tears beginning to well up in your eyes as you felt your orgasm slowly but surely slipping away. 

“Why?” You pouted and Namjoon cooed at you before leaning over and kissing you firmly for a few seconds before pulling away. 

“Alpha wants his Omega to come on his cock while I come inside of you, ok?” He told you and you sighed reluctantly before nodding your head. 

Namjoon pushed his shorts and underwear all the way off his legs before reaching up and pulling his t-shirt off as well. He then sat up and moved to settle in between your legs, taking ahold of the base of his cock and tapping the head of it on your clit. 

“If you want me to c-come on your cock, d-don’t tease me,” you whined and he just chuckled fondly. 

“Ok, I’m sorry baby,” he whispered, guiding his cock into you slowly. You felt like you were going to choke on air as he stretched you out, since you had basically forgotten how long and thick he was. 

“Oh, just like that baby,” Namjoon mumbled as he began to slowly thrust in and out of you. “You’re opening up so good for me.”

“A-Alpha,” you whimpered, clutching onto his forearms as he began to fuck you faster. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“What does?” Namjoon goaded you. “Tell your Alpha baby.”

“Your cock feels good inside me,” you moaned. “Feel so full.”

“God, I can’t believe that I was keeping myself from feeling your tight little pussy every day,” he grumbled. “I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s o-ok,” you stammered back, the beginnings of your orgasm starting to reappear.

“I’m gonna fuck you everyday from here on out if you let me,” he swore, looking down at you with hooded eyes. “Would you want that? Want Alpha to always keep you full with his knot?”

“Please, please, please,” you chanted.

“Want Alpha to fuck a baby into you?”

“Give it to me,” you moaned loudly and Namjoon reached up, sliding two of his fingers into your open mouth. You didn’t even hesitate to start sucking on them, making your husband groan as your tongue slid around the digits. 

“Gonna make you come,” he said as he pulled his fingers away from your mouth, reaching down and setting them on your clit. Your mouth dropped open as he began to rub firm circles on the nub and you were almost embarrassed by  how fast the stimulation sped up the pace at which your orgasm was running towards you. 

“Holy fuck, don’t stop,” you pleaded. “I’m gonna come.”

“Go ahead baby, I won’t stop you,” he promised as he continued to fuck you and rub your clit. Sure enough, your orgasm slammed into you a few seconds later. The moan that fell out of your mouth was almost deafeningly loud and you were sure that Namjoon would have indents on his arm from where you were gripping onto his skin as your back arched up off of the bed. 

“Fuck, you’re squirting baby,” he groaned as he took his hand off of your clit and placed his hands on the bed next to your head, fucking into you even harder now. 

“T-too much,” you murmured as you set your hands against his chest.

“You love it though. You’re still coming for me,” he smirked and you couldn’t help but to blush because you could still feel yourself leaking onto his cock. 

“I do,” you admitted and he leaned down, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. 

“You’re so perfect for me,” he grumbled and you could feel the beginnings of his knot starting to swell. “Squirting for me and marking your Alpha. God, it makes me want to stuff my knot into you and fill you up with my pups.”

“Do it,” you encouraged him. “Give me a baby Joon.”

“I love you,” he grunted and you gave him a small smile.

“I love you too,” you replied, moaning lightly when he kissed you again. As the two of you made out, Namjoon pushed his knot inside of you and you felt his cum start to pour into you. He continued to give you light strokes, making sure to fuck his cum even deeper inside of you than it already was.

“Making sure that it takes huh?” You giggled and he just blushed as he pulled back to look at you. 

“Gotta make it worth it,” he pointed out. “Besides, even if you don’t get pregnant this time, we can always try again and again and again.”

“As long as you make me come like that again,” you nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I definitely wanna see that again,” he smirked. “Maybe I should deny you your orgasm more often.”

“I’ll murder you,” you stated firmly, making him laugh loudly. 

“I’m joking baby,” he said, leaning down and kissing your mating mark. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered.

.............................................

A few weeks later, the day of Namjoon’s coronation had finally come. The entire pack was gathered outside near the wall of magnolias that you and Namjoon had gotten married near, waiting for the ceremony to take place. 

The two of you were in your shared bedroom, where you were helping him get dressed into his traditional hanbok. 

“Are you ok?” You asked him while you fastened the buttons on his chest. 

“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trembling,” you giggled and he just sighed heavily.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted. “I’ve been looking forward to being Pack Leader my entire life but what if I’m not good at it? My dad and grandfather were amazing Pack Alphas and what if I can’t measure up?”

“Joon,” you tsked as you reached up and set your hands on his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. “You can’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are going to be an amazing leader because you’re thoughtful, caring, and selfless.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” you smiled. “Just like I know that you’ll be an amazing daddy.”

“A daddy?” He repeated confusedly and you nodded your head. It took him a few minutes but when he put the pieces together, his eyes widened. “Baby, are you pregnant?”

“I am,” you nodded, squealing in surprise when Namjoon wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, spinning you around in a circle. “Wait, you’re gonna make me nauseous!”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he laughed as he set you back down on the ground. “I just can’t believe it.”

“You’re happy, right?”

“Of course I am,” he sighed contentedly. “I’m so happy that our parents arranged our marriage.”

“Ditto,” you cooed, leaning forward and kissing him gently for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now, we have to go. You have to go and claim your rightful position.”

“We have to claim our rightful position,” he corrected you as he reached down and intertwined your fingers with his. After taking one last look at him to make sure that he looked good, the two of you walked downstairs and out of your house, ready to step into your new roles and the new phase of your lives. 

[jjungkookislife]

Last Christmas

↬  pairing: Namjoon x f.  reader

↬  genre: exes to lovers, angst, college au, 18+

↬  summary: Namjoon is dreading Christmas this year because of last Christmas when he lost you.  As Christmas approaches once again, and history seems to repeat itself, he can’t escape when you’re both in the Kim’s cabin for the holidays.  Will the both of you be able to be amicable, or will adding Jungkook into the mix stir the fire?

↬  wc: 16.5k

↬  warnings: cursing, alcohol use/ mention, (tiny) mention of joon being blackout drunk, cheating(?), misunderstandings, angst, jealousy, Yoonji, vmin, smut in flashbacks (marking, unprotected sex, exhibitionism), fluff

↬  song rec and inspo: Last Christmas - Wham!

↬  date: December 12, 2020

An icy chill ran down Namjoon’s back as he clutched his coat tighter, wishing he had buttoned it all the way to the top before he left the humanities building. But it was too late now.

The winter wind was unforgiving, his breath visible as he exhaled, shoving his gloved hands into his pants pockets as he walked.

The campus wasn’t buzzing with life like usual; he knew it was because of finals week, but he hoped he’d be able to grab some coffee from the cafe in the library. He almost didn’t want to go, didn’t want to risk the chance of seeing his ex behind the counter alongside Jungkook, but Starbucks was off campus and he didn’t want to risk losing his parking spot, not when the temperature was low and still dropping. He’d just have to suck it up and hope you were off today.

*

Seokjin had arrived at the cafe before Namjoon, to scope it out. He knew Namjoon would be less hesitant to come and have a drink if you were working, much less if Jungkook had been around as well.

Not seeing either of you upon his arrival, he texted Joon to let him know he’d arrived and scored a table by the window.

Seokjin: I got us a table by the window.

Namjoon reads the text, quickly replying to let his friend know he was on his way. He could see the library up ahead and a few students lingered on the courtyard, feeding the squirrels that lingered in hopes of getting a French fry or chips from the sleepy students.

Namjoon shakes his head. He needed to stop thinking of the squirrels and focus on getting his coffee and warming up. He hates finals, loathed them with a passion. He couldn’t wait to go up to the cabin tomorrow night, it was the only thing he was looking forward to.

Finally, Namjoon reaches the library, pushing the heavy door open to head to the cafe on the opposite end of the building. He’s eager to get warmed up. Nothing could get between him and his coffee. Nothing except you and Jungkook kissing, that is.

Namjoon freezes, his heart cracking into smithereens all over again. It’s like he’s gone back in time to last Christmas. It’s too much. It’s all too fucking much! He can’t go through this again. No, not again.

“Namjoon!” Jin is at the door in an instant, calling his name, but Namjoon is too far gone in his thoughts to hear him. Seokjin glares at Jungkook, pushing past him and you, but shoulder checking Jungkook on his way out.

Namjoon has enough sense to turn around, his heart thudding in his chest frantically as adrenaline courses through his body as he runs. He ignores the shouts and curses directed at him as he pushes past what few students are in the library. He can’t be here. He can’t go through this again, not again. Wasn’t once enough? Shouldn’t it be easier to see you with him after all this time? Why did it still hurt? Why did he still care?

“Namjoon, stop!” Seokjin chases after him, his bookbag hitting his side with each step. When had Namjoon gotten this fast? Seokjin pushes past anyone on the sidewalk, irate at having been pushed by Namjoon and now him, but he didn’t give a fuck, Joon needed him.

Namjoon doesn’t stop until he gets to his car, feeling the warmth of his tears rolling down his cheeks. He sniffs, shaking his head, he’d had enough.

A whirlwind romance was what it had been. Namjoon met you at Seokjin’s birthday party, a mutual friend of Yoongi’s sister, who happened to be in town and eager to see her oldest friend two years ago.

Namjoon was enamored with you at first sight. He had been nervous to approach you, but after an introduction by Seokjin, who had caught the way he seemed smitten with you, it all fell into place. You had clicked in an instant, flirting and dancing the entire night before Namjoon finally had the courage to ask you for your phone number.

He didn’t hesitate to text you that night, asking you out on a date soon after.

One date led to another and another until he asked you to be his girlfriend, which you gladly accepted. Namjoon was on Cloud 9, nothing could bring him down. Nothing except a Christmas party that ended with your breakup.

Namjoon had been busy with his family celebration the previous day and all morning and afternoon, but when it came time for Seokjin’s party, he was excited to see you. You’d be meeting him there, riding with Jungkook and Jimin.

Seokjin and his brother, Taehyung, were hosting a friend's only Christmas party, a way to enjoy the day without the burden of family around asking uncomfortable, inquisitive questions. Seokjin wanted to unwind, tired of his nosy aunts asking about him getting married (uh no?), having kids (hell no?), and his degree (shut up?).

“Hey! You made it!” Yoongi greets him when he arrives, handing him a beer. “Everyone’s in the living room sharing horror stories about their festivities.”

Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head, “I think I placated my aunts with the fact that I had a girlfriend. I showed them pictures, and they gushed over her before moving on to my cousin. I think I got off pretty easy.”

Taehyung approaches his friends with Jimin, his boyfriend of two years, “oh? Talking about getting off so early in the evening?”

Namjoon rolls his eyes at Seokjin’s younger brother, ever the pervert.

“That’s not it,” Namjoon huffs, making Jimin giggle.

“Did you bring it?” Jimin asks enthusiastically, clasping his hands together, his eyes twinkling.

Namjoon nods, reaching into his pocket to take out your Christmas gift. A small box in his palm. He opens it, showing his friends the necklace nestled in the navy blue velvet.

“That’s pretty,” Yoongi states as he takes a drink of his beer before walking off to join the others. Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin follow, not surprised to see the living room, and the kitchen filled with guests as music plays loudly.

Namjoon immediately looks for you, spotting Seokjin and Yoonji, Yoongi’s sister, sitting on the couch talking. He walks over to them, greeting them before showing them the necklace he’d picked out for you.

“She’ll love it,” Yoonji assured him as she caught sight of Jungkook and you in the kitchen getting a drink. She points you out to Namjoon, who thanks her and makes his way over to the both of you.

Namjoon knew Jungkook was one of your best friends, so it was no surprise you’d be with him at the party. What was a surprise, though, was when you leaned in to kiss Jungkook.

Namjoon watched in horror, frozen in his spot. You were kissing Jungkook. You were kissing your best friend on the lips in front of everyone. You were under the mistletoe with his hands on your hips. It did not look platonic.

Yoongi came up behind Namjoon, eyes wide as he watched you step back, giggling. Jungkook’s cheeks and ears were red, a shy smile on his lips.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you smile at Jungkook, embarrassed.

“Y/n, what the fuck?!” Yoongi exclaims, his hand tightening on his beer as he looks at Namjoon.

Your eyes widen, looking at your boyfriend.

“Namjoon!”

Namjoon blinks, shaking his head as he drops your necklace and turns to leave. You look at Jungkook before taking off after your boyfriend, but he’s too quick and you lose him.

“Namjoon!” You try again as you push past the guests, making your way to the front door. You hear the door slam and you know he’s gone. Your heart sinks to your chest as tears pool in your eyes. This was a mistake.

*

Namjoon can barely think as he drives home, his heart racing in his chest as he grips the steering wheel tightly. He’s thankful he only lives a few blocks away from Seokjin and Taehyung’s place, he doesn’t think he could make it home if he lived farther.

Tears threaten to spill as they prick at the corners of his eyes, his throat beginning to ache.

When he pulls into his driveway, he’s shaking and hurrying into his home. He shuts the door after him, locking it before he slides down it. The tears finally roll down his cheeks and all he can see is you kissing Jungkook. It’s seared into his mind.

‘It was a mistake,’ he thinks as he wipes at his cheeks, a shuddering breath escaping him. He tries to swallow, but it burns as he sniffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve. His head lolls back, hitting the door as tears flow freely.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, but he ignores it. It ceases soon enough before starting again. He fishes it from his pocket, his vision blurry from his tears. He exhaled shakily, wiping his eyes as he saw your name on the screen. He ignores your call, silencing his phone instead.

Seokjin’s name appears next, but Namjoon doesn’t want to talk to anyone. He ignores his best friend’s call too.

Namjoon gets up from the floor, taking his coat off and hanging it on the coat rack by his door. He kicks his shoes off and walks to his bedroom, where he places his phone on his nightstand and throws himself on the bed, wrapping himself up in the comfort of his blankets.

It hurt.

Everything hurt, and Namjoon couldn’t think about anything except the kiss. It was under mistletoe, yes, but you could have not kissed Jungkook or maybe kissed his cheek. He doesn’t know, all he knows is that he just walked in on his girlfriend kissing someone else in front of everyone without a care.

Namjoon picks his phone up, noticing the 20 missed calls over half are from you and the remaining ones are from Jin and Yoongi. He even has one from Jungkook. His inbox isn’t much better filled with pleas from you to return your calls, or at least your friends.

Namjoon: Leave me alone Namjoon: I have nothing to say to you. We’re over

Namjoon blocks your number right after. He’s wiping his cheeks and sitting up, texting Jin to let him know he’s home safe but needs some time before he can talk about the night's events.

Seokjin: I’m here if you need anything. Call me if you want me to come over.

Namjoon: I just want to be alone right now… Namjoon: good night

Seokjin finally caught up to his friend, panting and red-cheeked as he saw Namjoon sitting in his car. He approaches him, knocking on his window, startling the poor man.

Namjoon rolls the window down, “sorry.”

“No, that was fucked up for you to walk in on. I didn’t know they were both working until I saw them by the door with that cursed mistletoe.”

“I thought they weren’t together?”

“I didn’t think so either. I haven’t been around them much lately. Taehyung usually goes to Kook’s place.” Seokjin responds.

“I’m going home,” Namjoon sighs as he bites his lip.

“Want me to come over?”

“No, I’m just going to study and finish packing for tomorrow night. We’re meeting at your place, right?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah, at 4pm ’cause Jimin has a final at 2:30 and who knows when he’ll finish. We’re driving up with Tae and Jimin in their car. Hoseok is flying in tonight, so he’ll probably ride with us and Yoongi too. Yoonji should be here tomorrow morning,” Seokjin answers.

“Cool, I’ll see you then,” Namjoon turns his car on.

Jin steps back, “are you sure you’re okay, man?”

Namjoon musters up a weak smile, “I’m fine.”

Relief washes over Namjoon when he hands in his test and Scantron of his last final of the semester. He’s ecstatic to head over to Seokjin’s and relax while they wait for their friends to join them.

Hoseok should be there by now, but he was sure Yoonji would be at her parents’ before driving up later tonight. She was one to make an entrance.

“Good, you’re here!” Jin greets him as he leads his friend into his home and to his bedroom. Namjoon’s eyes widen as he sees the disaster That’s become his friend’s room.

“What the fuck?” Namjoon gapes at his friend.

Seokjin shrugs, “I’m all packed at least. This is a problem for future Jin.”

Before Namjoon can say anything about the mess, the doorbell rings and Jin is out in a dash to get it, saving himself from Joon’s lecture.

Namjoon sighs heavily, beginning to pick clothes off the bed to put back on the hangers in the closet. He’s careful where he steps, not wanting to fuck up anything else.

“You made it!” Jin exclaims before Namjoon hears Hoseok’s voice responding.

“Where’s everyone?” Hoseok asks as he sits on the couch with his luggage.

“Tae and Jimin are still at school until Jimin finishes his final,” Namjoon states as he walks into the living room to greet Hoseok. Seokjin sits on the opposite end of the couch, offering them both a drink.

“I can’t wait to get up there,” Hoseok sighs as he thanks Jin for the drink.

“Rough week?” Seokjin asks as he sits back in his spot.

“The worst, but that’s over and done with. I’ve got two weeks off and I plan to enjoy them with my friends,” Hoseok grins, raising his glass before downing his drink.

“What’s new with you?” Namjoon asks after a beat of silence. Hoseok grins, immediately updating both of his friends about life across the country and about the new person he’s been seeing.

“Hopefully you can meet them by the time Spring Break rolls around,” Hoseok grins, excusing himself when his phone rings.

The front door opens and Yoongi walks in followed by Jimin and Taehyung. They take a seat on the couch, spreading out.

“Fuck finals,” Jimin grunts, crossing his arms over his chest. Namjoon chuckles, “you don’t have to worry about them until next semester.”

Yoongi nods, adjusting the gray beanie on his head, “are we all here?”

“Yeah, Hoseok’s on the phone. I gotta get my bags in the trunk,” Seokjin gets up, heading to his bedroom to grab his suitcase and his backpack.

“I’ll help you,” Yoongi states as he takes Seokjin’s suitcase and takes it to the Escalade for him, ready to get on the road before the sunset fully.

“Is Yoonji coming?” Hoseok asks as he returns, grabbing his own suitcase as Taehyung goes to the kitchen to make sure the stove is off and the fridge has been emptied.

“She’s meeting us there,” Jimin assures him, Hoseok nods before heading outside, followed by Namjoon and Jimin.

The weather is unforgiving as Tae comes outside of the house, “do you have everything so I can lock up?”

“Yeah,” comes a chorus of responses. Taehyung nods, “wait, does anyone have to use the bathroom?”

Jimin raises his hand and Taehyung sighs, moving aside to allow his boyfriend back into his home. The rest of them pile into the Escalade, Namjoon claiming a window seat in the last row. Seokjin sits behind the driver’s seat, Hoseok at his side. Yoongi climbs in beside Namjoon in the last row, popping in one of his earbuds as they wait for Jimin.

“Sorry!” Jimin sings as he clambers into the vehicle minutes later, shutting the door after him. He shivers as he looks over his shoulder to do a headcount as Taehyung locks up once again before getting in. Taehyung looks in the rearview mirror at his friends, “anyone else have to go before we leave? I’m not stopping until we get there.”

“We’re good,” Hoseok calls back. Taehyung nods, tugging on his seatbelt, making sure it clicks as he starts the vehicle and pulls out smoothly from his driveway. Jimin immediately connects his phone to the bluetooth, filling the space with music, humming along to his favorites.

“Did Yoonji get the tree?” Seokjin turns around in his seat to look at Yoongi. Namjoon places his earbuds in his ears, drowning out the conversation.

“I’ll text her. She was with my mom before I left the house, something about my dad’s gift being late. I’m sure she’s got it or she would have called,” Yoongi assured Jin, who nods. He was hoping she had gotten the tree. That was the key event of the night. They would all be decorating the tree at the cabin while making dinner and singing Christmas carols.

Seokjin turns around, gnawing at his bottom lip. Worried Yoonji may have invited you and Jungkook, unless Taehyung had been the one to do so. He was too afraid to ask, not wanting to lie to Namjoon about knowing you’d be there beforehand. He figured a lie by omission was better. The less he knew, the better.

Taehyung looked at his brother in the rearview mirror, eyeing him suspiciously before looking back at the road. Jimin sat beside him, still singing, oblivious to the brothers’ silent conversation.

An hour later, Taehyung is parking in the driveway outside their cabin. Jimin kisses his cheek, thanking him for driving before he’s getting out. His feet hit the snow, a shiver running down his spine as he ran to the cabin, leaving Tae and the others to unload the trunk.

“At least we’ll be warm by the time we unload everything.” Seokjin shrugs as he gets out, stretching his limbs after sitting for so long. He rolls his neck from side to side, groaning when it pops. Hoseok does the same before they make their way to the trunk, ignoring the way the snow crunches under their boots.

“What are the sleeping arrangements?” Yoongi asks as he grabs two of the suitcases. Seokjin shrugs, “let’s get the stuff inside and we’ll figure it out after. We need to get dinner started as well.” Namjoon nods as he grabs more of the suitcases to carry inside. Jimin has changed into a sweater with snowflakes on it and a comfortable pair of jeans with socks that match his sweater. He spins around for Taehyung, who pulls him into a hug, pointing to the mistletoe above them before kissing him gently.

Namjoon and Yoongi head back outside to grab more of their belongings, as Seokjin heads to the kitchen to get dinner started. Hoseok follows him to help.

When Namjoon and Yoongi reappear, they’re shrugging off their coats and shaking the snow out of their hair.

“Hey!” Yoonji greets as she opens the door, her arms in the air as she waves them, earning the attention of everyone in the room. Namjoon chuckles, greeting her with a brief hug before Jimin runs over to her and hugs her tightly.

“Look who I brought with me!” Yoonji moves aside and Namjoon gets a sinking feeling in his stomach as Yoonji steps aside as you walk in, shivering with Jungkook behind you.

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Namjoon notices the way your eyes widen before you’re glaring at Yoonji, a wicked smile on her face as she walks past everyone to wrap her arms around Hoseok, hugging him tightly.

“I’ve missed you!” Hoseok returns her hug, kissing the top of her head before he’s leading her to the kitchen to get her a drink.

Jungkook rubs the nape of his neck, feeling awkward. He knew Namjoon would be present.  How could he not when he was Seokjin’s best friend? He just wasn’t expecting to be in such close proximity upon arrival, if anything, he figured he had until dinner to run into him.

Namjoon turns, going to the kitchen with the others as Taehyung and Jimin greet you and Jungkook.

“I didn’t think you’d make it!” Jimin hugs you and then Jungkook.

“Yoonji can be very persistent,” Jungkook shrugs as he excuses himself to get the bags out of the car. Taehyung follows him to retrieve the Christmas tree.

Hoseok walks into the living room with a bottle of wine and glasses for everyone while Seokjin sits on the couch with Yoonji at his side. Yoongi sits on the floor beside them, while Namjoon sits on the arm of the couch.

Hoseok pours wine for everyone, smiling at Yoonji when he gets to her before he sends a friendly smile your way.

“Sleeping arrangements,” Seokjin starts as Hoseok finishes pouring wine into everyone’s glass. “Taehyung and Jimin get the bedroom on the first floor for obvious reasons… I’ve had it soundproof. You’re welcome.”

Jimin giggles, thanking him. Seokjin laughs, “trust me, it was more for our benefit than yours.”

“Anyway,” Taehyung huffs, flipping off his brother. “We’re going to leave our stuff in our room. We’ll be back in time for dinner.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “Y/n and Yoonji you’re together. Namjoon and Hoseok, me and Yoongi and Jungkook on his own.”

Namjoon looks at Hoseok and grins. At least he wasn’t stuck with Jungkook as a roommate. The last thing he wanted was to be around him or you in close quarters. The fact that you were both here put a sour taste in his mouth.

Hoseok and Namjoon head upstairs with their suitcases, picking a bedroom as Yoongi and Jin settle into theirs. Yoongi’s just glad he wouldn’t have to be bunking with Jungkook, he’d rather sleep with Jin (like he had plenty of times before) than to be with a man he considered a friend, but really just betrayed his best friend. He couldn’t forgive disloyalty, so he cut Jungkook off like nothing. Loyalty was everything to him.

Seokjin and Yoongi settle into their room at the very end of the hall, past the hall bathroom but right beside Jungkook’s bedroom. The two men say nothing as they walk past him with his suitcases.

Yoonji and you are right by the stairs, the first bedroom on the right with one across from you, which will be for Namjoon and Hoseok, much to your disappointment. Yoonji had assured you Namjoon wouldn’t be coming this year, and now here you were stuck with your ex-boyfriend and the guy you kissed under the mistletoe last year. This was going to be a mess, but isn’t that what your best friend thrived on?

“Have a messy, messy Christmas! It’s the worst time of the year!” Yoonji belted at the top of her lungs as she unpacked her suitcase. You raised a brow at her, “those aren’t the lyrics.”

“They are this Christmas,” Yoonji replies, smirking as she continues to alter the lyrics to fit the situation before Yoongi is poking his head in.

“Yooni, can you shut the fuck up?” He asks, and she flips him off. “Ooh, I’m telling mom!”

“Don’t you dare! She’s still mad I didn’t make my bed before I left! Yoongi!” Yoonji runs out of the bedroom, shouting her brother’s name in annoyance as she chases after him down the stairs. The last thing you hear is Yoongi exclaiming, “mom!” into his phone.

You finish unpacking, thankful the cabin has a washer and dryer should you need it, but you figure you’d be in pajamas or jeans throughout the two weeks, unless you need something specific that you could just buy in town.

“Shit, sorry,” you say as you bump into someone in the hallway. They turn around and you internally groan. Of course you’d bump into Namjoon, Hoseok behind him.

Namjoon stares at you, his jaw clenching before he goes down the stairs without a word. You watch after him, sighing as Hoseok walks past you, giving you a pitying look. You ignore the way your heart clenches, sadness filling you as you do your best to neutralize your mood and head downstairs. If you stuck close enough to Yoonji, Tae, Jimin and Jungkook, you were sure you’d make it through the two weeks easily.

When you get downstairs, Yoonji has tackled her brother onto the couch, wrestling for his phone while Hoseok watches on, betting against Yoongi. Namjoon is in the kitchen with Seokjin, helping him cook and avoiding the commotion the Min siblings are causing.

You wish Tae and Jimin would join you soon as you sit on the couch on your phone. You’re not sure where to go or where to sit and you feel like a nuisance despite how much Tae and Jimin assured you they wanted you to come. It had been a bad idea. You knew Namjoon would be there, and you had said no time and time again but Yoonji was persistent as well as Jungkook.

Jungkook.

A sigh escapes you. He was your best friend and what had happened last year had been a mistake, an accident. You’d had too much to drink that night. When you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, you missed and got his lips. It was all just a big misunderstanding, but the damage was done and your relationship with Namjoon and his friends ruined. You gnaw at your lip.  Maybe you could sneak on home in the early hours of the morning?

“None of that,” Yoonji says as she plops down on the couch beside you.

“What?”

“I know that look. That’s your ‘i-need-to-run-away’ look. You’re not leaving.”

“Yoonji…” you start but are cut off when Jimin and Taehyung appear.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Taehyung asks, sitting on the couch with Yoongi. He pulls Jimin onto his lap, his arms wrapping around his waist.

“I should,” you clear your throat, looking down at your sock clad feet, wiggling your toes in nervousness. You can feel the heat of everyone’s stares and it just makes the situation more uncomfortable.

“You’re not leaving, Y/n. You’re welcomed here just like everyone else. I’ll be damned if anyone feels ill at ease. I can’t let that happen. It would be... unsouthern.” Seokjin states walking into the room upon hearing Jimin and Taehyung return.

“That’s a good belle,” Jimin chuckles. Seokjin winks at him, blowing him a kiss before turning to you.

“On a serious note, aside from quoting The Golden Girls, you’re just as welcome here as any of these goofballs. I know everyone feels a bit awkward with the situation, but what’s done is done and I plan on having a fabulous time before I have to drown in school work come January. If anyone makes you feel less than welcome, anyone at all, I’ll kick their ass out,” Seokjin looks around the room before meeting your gaze.

You nod, muttering a soft thank you before Seokjin is clasping his hands together and pulling Jimin off his brother’s lap.

“I’m stealing your soulmate for a bit, I need him to make that Christmas drink he showed me on Pinterest. And Yoongi, I’ve got your whiskey in the kitchen,” Yoongi grins, following Seokjin and Jimin.

Dinner is filled with a lingering awkwardness on your part, your friends sitting on one end of the table, while Namjoon and his friends sit on the other. You’re sitting across from Yoonji, who’s beside Hoseok. Jungkook is beside you on your left, and you’ve got Yoongi on your right. Namjoon is squeezed beside Hoseok on the left and Seokjin is at the end of the table.

Despite your best efforts, you find yourself meeting Namjoon’s gaze. He cuts it short, turning to continue his conversation with Seokjin. You find yourself staring at him in between hums of affirmation in your own conversation, not paying attention as Yoonji rambles on about her many conquests on her trips. You’ve heard it all last night, so you don’t feel guilty tuning her out as you admire the fullness of your ex-boyfriend’s lips.

Memories of those lips kissing your own, trailing kisses that lit a fire deep in you. You squirm in your seat, feeling flustered, your skin hot as you take a sip of your drink. You fan yourself with your hand, eyes still on your ex.

Jungkook looks over at you, following your line of sight before leaning into you, his fingers brushing your hair out of the way as he whispers, “you’re drooling.”

Your eyes widen, chuckling before elbowing him. Your laugh catches Namjoon’s attention, his eyes bore into the side of your head, jealousy coursing through his body as he sees you lean into Jungkook. He scoffs, looking away before Seokjin and Yoongi send him a pitying look.

“It doesn’t even matter,” he mutters as he pushes his food around on his plate, losing his appetite. He hates the way you hang on Jungkook’s every word, your laugh filling the room, ringing in his ears. He used to make you laugh like that. It was him you’d drape yourself around, leaning in close enough for him to smell the sweet scent of your perfume.

“Jungkook!” You gasp, poking him in the ribs. “You promised you wouldn’t tell that story!”

“It slipped,” he smirks, pulling you close to kiss the top of your head. You roll your eyes as Jimin and Taehyung laugh, gripping their sides as Jungkook beams with pride. You excuse yourself from the table, taking your plate into the kitchen.

Jungkook follows you, apologizing when he reaches you. He pulls you into a hug, his hand rubbing your back as you wrap your arms around his waist.

Namjoon walks in with Yoongi behind him, “Don’t stop on our account.”

“We weren’t,” Jungkook replies before taking your hand and pushing past Namjoon. Your eyes linger on your ex’s, wishing you could just talk to him; explain.

It’s been almost a year since you broke up. You never got the chance to explain what had happened and after he blocked you, you tried to give him time to cool off. You tried to catch him at school but it was impossible until you started working at the cafe but once he figured out you worked there; he showed up on your days off. You figured it was truly over. You wanted to move on; you did, but you found it hard after dating a few people who fell short.

Jungkook had given you space, feeling awful for what had happened. It was an awkward situation to be in. He was your best friend, the person you kissed, but he also considered Namjoon a friend, a role model, and he’d lost the man he looked up to. He was sure Namjoon hated his guts.  He could feel it in the searing glare that was always sent his way whenever he’d bump into him at campus, more so when he started working with you at the cafe.

Jungkook hadn’t known what to do after trying (and failing) to reach out to him to explain his side of the situation, but alas, he too was blocked in the end. He was lucky Namjoon didn’t just trample him when their paths met on campus. You were serious about Namjoon, Jungkook knew that. He knew this whole situation was just one clusterfuck of a mess. A mess he couldn’t fix on his own, not when Namjoon hated his guts.

Over time, Jungkook’s need to right the wrong ended up with him growing enraged. It was a mistake, a simple mistake over a kiss that meant nothing to him. When he saw how affected you were by the breakup, he grew angry. Angry at himself, at Namjoon, at the world. He went from best friend to protector. Glued to your side to be your rock, be the light that you needed to get through this. You refused to talk about Namjoon, but Jungkook knew your feelings were as strong as ever for the man. You still wore the necklace he’d thrown on the floor. You hid it under your clothing, your fingers brushing it absentmindedly whenever your thoughts wandered over to him.

Hoseok, Yoonji, and Taehyung clear the table as Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, Seokjin, you, and Jungkook, go to the living room. The Christmas tree is sitting in a large box in the living room, waiting to be opened and set up.

Namjoon and Seokjin open the box, Jimin helping to organize the pieces before they put it together. Yoongi watches from the couch, a drink in his hand as he watches on with amusement.

“No, that doesn’t go there. It doesn’t fit!” Seokjin huffs as he tries to put one of the pieces of the stand into the holder.

“Yes, it does! Why else would they put it in the box if it wouldn’t fit?” Namjoon asks as he takes the pieces from his elder. You bit back a laugh as you see the two men arguing while Jimin sneaks up and easily takes the pieces out of Namjoon’s hands without him noticing, too caught up in his argument.

“Sometimes, you just need to give it a little wiggle and a little spit,” Jimin murmurs. Yoongi chuckles, “please don’t put that in your mouth.”

Jimin grins, winking before pushing the pieces into place.

“Who is Jimin putting in his mouth?” Hoseok asks as he enters the room, sitting beside Yoongi.

“Hopefully me,” Taehyung smirks as he kisses Jimin on the cheek.

“Anyway,” Jin continues as he puts together the other pieces, thankful they opted for a prelit tree this year. If he had to unravel any more lights in this lifetime, his head would surely explode. “We can get the ornaments out. I hope you fuckers brought your stockings.”

“I have extra if you didn’t,” Yoonji smiles as she sits beside Hoseok, nudging him over to make room for her.

“Yooni, can you give him some room? You’re practically on his lap,” Yoongi sighs as he gives Hoseok an apologetic look.

You look over at Yoonji, noting that her brother is correct. She was nearly in Hoseok’s lap, but he seemed unbothered as he watched Namjoon try to untangle the tinsel.

“Five bucks he gets it wrapped around his feet and trips,” Hoseok murmurs.

“You’re on,” Jungkook pipes up along with Taehyung. Sure enough, not even thirty seconds later, Namjoon is tangled in tinsel and trips as he tries to unravel himself. Hoseok laughs, getting up to help him instead as Seokjin takes the ornaments out of the bin and tells everyone to go crazy.

You try your best to stick to one side of the tree to avoid making Namjoon uncomfortable. Jungkook sticks by your side, helping you with the tinsel you held in your hand before Yoongi calls him over to grab another box of ornaments. Jungkook sends you an apologetic smile before he’s off with Yoongi, disappearing for a bit.

Yoonji and Hoseok are giggling over drinks, their faces flushed as Yoonji shoves him. She sticks her tongue out at him and you don’t miss the way he licks his lips. Jimin, Taehyung and Seokjin have gone off to make more drinks in the kitchen, leaving you and Namjoon to decorate the tree.

As you’re wrapping the tinsel, you fail to notice Namjoon standing in your way, going in the opposite direction with his green tinsel. He looks at you, blinking as you dip under his arm to get around him. The familiar scent of your perfume has his eyes fluttering shut, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

Namjoon has been a flurry of nerves throughout your date. Stumbling over his feet and his words as the night wore on. When you both sat in your driveway at the end of the night, you were so close, he could smell your perfume. It wasn’t too strong but not subtle enough for him not to notice, especially when you were leaning over the console, your eyes on his lips. He could feel heat spread across his cheeks as you met his gaze. He leaned forward, his eyes studying yours before his palm cupped your face and he kissed you.

You kissed him back eagerly, savoring the taste of his lips as he pulled away. You were intoxicating; everything from your perfume, to your touch, to your kiss. Namjoon knew he was in deep. So deep.

“Walk me to the door?” You’d asked him with a hopeful smile. Namjoon nodded, rushing to open his door, trying to get out of his seat only to be pulled back by his seatbelt. You giggled, a beautiful sound that had his heart skipping beats as he unbuckled himself and opened your car door. He took your hand, walking you up the driveway to your front door.

“I had a good time. You’ll text me?” You asked, biting your bottom lip before looking at him.

“Of course.” Namjoon didn’t hesitate to answer before you kissed his cheek and wished him goodnight. Namjoon blushed, walking to his car and getting in. Your perfume lingered on his seats; he was in deep.

Namjoon was lost in his thoughts.  He didn’t notice you coming back, dipping under him once again. He blinked and continued his task, meeting you on the other side. He raised his arm over you to get past. Your eyes lingered on his broad back.

Your giggles filled Namjoon’s bedroom as the two of you fell onto his bed after another date, this one different from the others. He’d asked you to be his girlfriend after dating for a hot minute. You were covering his face in kisses, his hands finding purchase on your hips as you straddled him.

You’d been yearning for this man since the first time you laid your eyes on him. What had begun as lust quickly began budding into a romance, possibly love? It made you apprehensive, but all those negative thoughts were wiped from your mind as his eyes met yours, his warm palm cupping your cheek. You turn, kissing his wrist before leaning down to capture his lips with yours.

Your name escapes him in a sigh that has heat pooling deep in your abdomen. Electricity courses through your veins as your hips grind down.

“Joon, please.”

“I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you,” he murmurs as his plush pink lips find the sensitive skin of your neck, kissing and nipping at the flesh as your eyes flutter shut and you lose yourself to the sensation, to him.

Namjoon steps back as he finishes wrapping the tinsel, happy with himself for not tearing it to pieces with you in such close proximity. He realizes this is one of the few times he’s been this close to you. He’s not sure he likes it.

Seokjin comes back carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. You rush to get one, downing half of it. Seokjin chuckles when your face contorts, “Jimin made these.”

“It tastes like juice!” Jimin grins mischievously.

“To you,” Namjoon rolls his eyes but smiles at his friend.

“You love my drinks! Remember the last time I made you a drink?” Jimin asks as he takes a drink before going over to the tree to inspect it with Seokjin.

“No, I don’t remember. That’s the problem, Chim.” Namjoon runs a hand through his hair before shaking his head. He sits back, allowing the others to place ornaments on the tree.

Jimin waves him off as he brings Taehyung over to put an ornament on one of the higher branches. You look over at Yoonji, but she’s deep in conversation with Hoseok and Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. You take your phone out, texting him but get no reply after a few minutes.

When you put your phone down on the coffee table, Namjoon catches your gaze. It’s smoldering, makes you shrink back in your seat, squirming. He doesn’t break eye contact, his eyes roaming down to your neck, his tongue peeking from between his lips to lick them.

He smirks, looking away when you exhale loudly, wiping your clammy hands on your bottoms. He was glad he still had that effect on you, if nothing else.

Between the drinks, and all of you joking around in your friend groups, it takes about an hour to finish the tree.

You’re all exhausted from traveling, especially Hoseok who had to fly in. You call it an early night, knowing you've got plenty of time to spend with all your friends for the next two weeks. Jungkook follows you up to bed, walking you to your bedroom before kissing your forehead.

“I’m proud of you. It won’t be so hard, Y/n. You’ve got me,” Jungkook hugs you before walking down the hall to his bedroom. You watch him go, not noticing how Namjoon has witnessed the exchange.

Namjoon spends the first two days inside. He’s denied invitations to hit the slopes, shopping, and partying in favor of making a dent in his reading list. Being a student didn’t leave much free time for him to read books he wanted to, just the ones required for class. He was eager to read a few during his time off, and he’d made great progress during his time in the cabin.

By the third day, Seokjin and Hoseok have had enough of their best friend being cooped up inside and missing all the group activities.

Seokjin manages to drag him out with promises of his favorite meal for lunch. Namjoon isn’t one to turn down food, so he joins the others as they hit the slopes. Seokjin has a snowboard, while Hoseok is on skis. Namjoon’s not sure which he’d like to use this time, but settles for a snowboard after some pushing from Seokjin and Yoongi.

Namjoon’s just glad you’re not around, but that thought is quickly diminished when you show up in Taehyung’s group. You’re wearing a purple coat, your hands crossed over your chest as you curse the cold weather. Your eyes meet Namjoon’s and it’s like the world stops.

Namjoon can’t seem to look away, not until Jungkook is blocking his view as he leads you in the opposite direction from Namjoon.

“Glad you all made it!” Jimin states as Yoonji takes Hoseok with her. Taehyung and Jimin follows the two as Seokjin drags Namjoon the opposite way.

“There’s an ice skating rink in town. We’re thinking of heading over there tonight before we have drinks at home,” Yoongi informs Namjoon after he had complained about being cold outside and tired of snowboarding. He’d had a hard time keeping up with Yoongi and Seokjin, so he was ready to go for lunch.

“Let’s meet the rest of the group and see if they want to join,” Seokjin suggests, causing Namjoon to groan in protest.

“Don’t you think it’s time you two made amends? You don’t have to get back together, but for the sake of this trip, can you be amenable?” Yoongi asks. Namjoon bites his lip.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly.

“Let’s go.”

“Watch out!” Yoonji shouts, but it’s too late. Namjoon gets pelted with a snowball on the chest. He looks down at the snow that lingers on his jacket before looking at Yoonji. She waves, smiling sheepishly, “Sorry! I meant to hit my brother!”

“Fuck you!” Yoongi shouts, balling up the snow on the ground and tossing it over to his sister, but he misses and hits Taehyung.

“What the fuck?!” Taehyung screeches before he makes a snowball and throws it at Yoongi, who ducks, and the snowball hits Seokjin in the face.

“Oh, this is war!” Seokjin shouts as he races forward. Yoongi follows and Namjoon shrugs before he joins in, pelting whoever he can.

You end up getting pelted by someone before everyone scrambles off into the wooded area, each man for himself.

“This is such bullshit,” you mutter as you’re hit on the back of the neck, the snow going down your back.

“You gotta duck, bitch!” Yoonji shouts from her spot behind a boulder within view of you. Someone runs over, hiding behind the fallen tree you’re at. Yoonji runs away, screaming as she pelts her brother with several snowballs. Jimin and Taehyung come to his defense, followed by Jungkook and Seokjin.

Harsh breathing captures your attention, you turn to see Namjoon hiding. He doesn’t pay you any mind as he ducks. He sits on his butt, shaking snow out of his hair.

“I fucking hate this,” he mutters to himself.

“The snow?” You ask. Namjoon blinks, turning to you.

“No, I got snow in my shirt and it’s fucking melting. I’m cold as fuck,” He curses, shivering. You’re in the same boat as him, that’s probably why you open your mouth to speak.

“If we go through there, we’ll be back at the cabin in less than a minute,” you inform him. Namjoon looks to where you’re pointing, barely making out Taehyung’s Escalade. He looks at you and nods.

“I’ll cover you,” you tell him, moving to show him the pile of snowballs you keep hidden behind you.

“What are you? Some kind of snowball fight general?” Namjoon guffaws.

“No, I just like to win. The fun ones are the yellow ones,” You grin evilly.

“You didn’t…?” Namjoon gags.

You cackle, shaking your head, “no, but I’d totally dominate the field if I did. Come on, I wanna get out of this as much as you.”

Namjoon takes a peek over the fallen tree, getting pelted in the face immediately. Hoseok’s laughter fills the air, he hoots in triumph.

“Finish him!” Namjoon growls, wiping snow from his face.

“Want me to put a rock in it?” You smirk.

“You’re evil!” Namjoon grins, shaking his head before a snowball flies over both your heads.

“Fuck, I missed!” Taehyung huffs before another snowball comes flying your way. You dodge it, peeking over the tree with Namjoon at your side. It’s calm for a moment before snowballs come flying at you, only you.

Namjoon tells you to duck. Without thinking, he throws himself over you to shield you from getting hit. You fall into the snow with an ‘oomph’, eyes wide as you look up at Namjoon, whose face is nestled in your neck.

You remain stoic as more snowballs fly over you.

“Stay down,” he murmurs as he raises his head in the slightest, ducking again when more snowballs fly over your head. Namjoon supports his weight with his elbows, looking down at you. Your eyes lock on his.

You’re panting from exertion or his closeness, you're not sure. It’s been way too long since you’ve had him close, had him on top of you. You can’t help but stare at him, your eyes flickering from his lips to his eyes and back again.

“Namjoon! Joon,” your voice rose in octaves as you writhed beneath your boyfriend, his steady thrusts and grinding hips, making you see stars as you arched into his touch. His lips seared kisses into every inch of your neck, your chest. Your hands ran down his back, your nails leaving steaks as you pulled him closer, held him closer. Your name tumbled from his lips in breathy gasps that had your thighs clamping around his hips tighter, drawing him in deeper.

He swallowed your heady cries, his tongue twined with yours. His thrusts going in so deep, you feel him in your stomach. His name escaped your lips, your hands gripping his hair tightly, lips meeting in a messy kiss that has your toes curling.

“Baby,” his guttural groan has you clenching around his cock, coaxing more moans from him as his hips stutter. Curses escape him, his lips meeting yours as he grips your hands, pressing them onto the mattress, fingers intertwined.

“Fuck, baby. Fuck,” Namjoon buries his face in your neck, teeth sinking into the flesh.

You resist the urge to blink, refusing to let this moment end. Your hand reaches to cup his cheek, stroking it. Namjoon doesn’t move away, instead his eyes flutter shut, leaning into your touch for just a moment.

When his eyes open again, his gaze is intense, fiery.

“I’m sorry, Joon.”

Namjoon swallows, thickly. He shakes his head to get out of the trance you’ve put him in, opting to take your hand to pull you up. He shields you with his body, grunting as he gets hit with snowballs.

“Let’s go!” He growls as he takes your hand in his, running in the direction of the cabin.

Namjoon doesn’t let go of your hand until you’re both safe inside. You immediately kick your boots off, taking clothing off until you’re just in a shirt and jeans. Namjoon does the same, feeling awkward as he looks at you, biting his lip.

“We should shower,” Namjoon says.

You blink.

“Separately.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll go upstairs,” you walk up the stairs, feeling the heat of his stare on your back as you disappear.

Namjoon avoids you the rest of the day. You weren’t expecting anything less but your heart sank knowing he hadn’t said anything about your apology. You wish you’d had more time to talk to him, to at least apologize in a better setting.

Today, Namjoon had gone out early in the morning to go on a walk. You had been hoping to catch him before anyone woke up, but that was a bust. You knew you weren’t going to be able to get him alone without help. You wondered who you should recruit for this. Yoonji? Yoongi? Jungkook? No, not Jungkook. Hoseok? Taehyung? Jimin?? Seokjin???

“Fuck this,” you huff as you leave your shared room with Yoonji. You shut the door after you, only to run into Namjoon in the hall.

“Oh!”

“Good morning,” he says before going to his room, shutting his door after. You turn to go down the stairs, hoping the rest of your friends had something planned for the day. Your thoughts were mind numbing, and you were hoping for a distraction.

“We’re going back to the skating rink,” Taehyung informs you as he downs a cup of coffee. Yoongi sits beside him, a glass of whiskey in his hand and a newspaper in the other.

Yoonji rubs her eyes as she comes down in her pajamas, “can I stay home?”

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks, worried.

“Yeah, just a little sniffly and tired,” Yoonji pouts as she sits beside her brother, taking his whiskey.

“Morning,” Hoseok greets as he yawns, sitting across from Taehyung. He stacks his plate with pancakes. “What’s up?”

“I think Yoonji’s sick,” Yoongi says as he looks at his sister, her head resting on his shoulder. He checks her forehead, but she doesn’t feel warmer than usual.

“I can stay home with her. I’ve got a video call later but other than that I can watch her,” Hoseok offers, looking at Yoonji then at Yoongi.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Yoonji quips. Yoongi sighs, “he’s not a babysitter. I just want to make sure you’re fine while we go out. If you get sick, we can grab something for you.”

“Fine. I’m going to bed,” Yoonji waves as she leaves to go back to bed.

“Maybe I should stay…” you ponder out loud, but Hoseok shakes his head quickly, “no sense in you missing out on skating. You sat out most of yesterday.”

You sigh, nodding. Seokjin has everyone come down for breakfast, making them eat before they gather their belongings and pile into the cars to head to the skating rink once again.

When you arrive, you note it’s not as crowded as it was last night. Everyone scrambles off in groups, leaving you with Jungkook as you fumble trying to get your ice skates on.

“It’s easy, you just gotta find your balance,” Jungkook tells you for the nth time. If he says it one more time, you’re sure you’ll push him into a wall.

“Go, leave me be,” you try to push him but he’s built like a concrete wall and all it earns you is a push for you in the opposite direction. You stumble, gripping the rail at the edge as Jungkook takes off, showing off.

“Bastard,” you grumble angrily as you hold on to the rail, wobbling on your skates. Jimin and Taehyung fly past you, Jimin spinning in the air before Taehyung catches him.

“Show offs,” you roll your eyes as Seokjin skates past, Yoongi holding his hand tightly.

“Don’t let me fall! Don’t let me fall!” Yoongi giggles as Seokjin pulls him close, “I’d never dream of it.”

You smile. Yoongi sticks his tongue out, his cheeks tinted pink as Seokjin leads him around the rink.

“You know, you won’t learn if you keep clutching the handrail like that,” you huff, ready to tell whoever it is off, when you realize it’s Namjoon.

“Better than losing my fingers if I fall on the floor.”

Namjoon quirks his head, studying your expression, “don’t you think that’s an exaggeration?”

“Not in the slightest. We’ve got Olympic team competitors over there and a show off there,” You point at Taehyung and Jimin before Jungkook.

“Dramatic as always,” Namjoon comments. You sigh, “are you gonna help or just fly past me like everyone else?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” he chuckles.

“Fair,” you inch forward with the rail, Namjoon skating in circles a few feet away throwing in a spin. “Go join the Olympic stars.”

“Just take my hand,” Namjoon reaches out for you. You hesitate, looking at his hand and then his face. There’s no maliciousness present in his eyes, so you accept his hand, wobbling as you stand in front of him.

Namjoon immediately goes into teaching mode, his brain free of any awkwardness and anything unrelated to teaching you how to stay right side up.

You can feel people staring at you, mostly your friends, you’re sure. Namjoon doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you around the rink, keeping you out of the way of those who know what they’re doing.

“Thanks,” You say when he helps you onto a bench. He nods, waving briefly before he goes to skate, going faster than he could have with you.

“What was that?” Jungkook asks as he sits beside you..

“Nothing,” you answer, eyes still on Namjoon on the rink..

“Looked like progress,” he comments, ignoring the look you give him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t. He didn’t want me to fall.”

After you arrive at the cabin from the skating rink, Seokjin and Yoongi are making more drinks while Taehyung and Jimin are taking out board games and spreading them out on the living room floor. Yoonji is excited to play Monopoly, but is quickly turned down when she’s reminded of the tantrum Taehyung had thrown last Christmas, in which the board and its pieces had been knocked over and throughout the living room. The thimble was still missing.

“Twister?” Hoseok suggests instead, as drinks are passed around to everyone. While Hoseok and Jungkook set up the game, Namjoon sits back, his eyes landing on you. You’re whispering intently with Yoonji, giggling as you take a sip of your drink before looking at Jungkook. A grin appears on your face and Namjoon looks away, a scowl on his face. He thought it would be easier to be around you, to see you with him, but even after the afternoon the both of you had, his heart was still shielded in a thick layer of ice. He hated that he felt this way, that your relationship had ended the way that it had. He loved you, he still did, but his heart ached when he thought of you.

Millions of times he’d thought about reaching out to you, to talk it out, but he figured it would be pointless. Now that he was so close, he wondered if he had made the right decision that night.

“Let’s start!” Seokjin exclaims as he ensues a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes first. It’s rough, a tight squeeze and everyone ends up dropping one by one until it’s just Namjoon, you and Jungkook. Yoonji, Seokjin and Jimin are watching you intently, curious to see who the winner will be.

You’re at an awkward angle, caught above Namjoon with Jungkook at your side. Namjoon refuses to meet your eyes until a glint of your necklace makes him turn to you. It’s a necklace tucked into your top, hard for him to make it out until Jungkook’s foot gets tangled with yours and you both tumble onto Namjoon.

When you rise, your necklace has fallen out of your shirt, but Namjoon doesn’t get a clear look at it as you scramble to shove it back in your shirt. He can’t help but wonder if he’d seen correctly. You were wearing the necklace he’d gotten you last year.

“Finally! Now, can we play something else? I’m in the mood to annihilate you at UNO,” Yoongi grins as he takes the cards out of the box and everyone sits on the floor, drinking from their cups as they realize they’re in for a long night and a test of their friendship.

Everyone has gone to bed after the night’s celebrations had gone well into the night. Now that it was nearing 3 am, Namjoon found himself unable to sleep. He had snuck out of his shared room, making sure not to disturb a sleeping, drunk Hoseok as he tiptoed out into the hall, shutting the door after him.

He exhaled a breath in relief, but his heart hammered in his chest and a bead of sweat ran down his temple as a floorboard squeaked under the carpeted hallway. Namjoon held his breath, standing pin straight as he waited for any of his friends to rouse from their alcohol induced sleep to find him in the hall.

After a few silent, but oh, so very anxious moments, Namjoon continues on his way down the stairs. His sweaty grip on the banister makes a squeak as he reaches the landing before taking the last few steps into the living room.

Namjoon wasn’t surprised to see the fire is still going in the fireplace, albeit it’s not as strong as it was when they were all celebrating just hours before. He curls up on the couch, draping the throw blanket over his legs.

The home is silent, save for the ticking of the clock and the snores of someone upstairs, Seokjin, he figures.

Namjoon had found it hard to sleep tonight. Tossing and turning over and over until he finally gave up on sleep and took his racing thoughts and himself to the living room, hoping to get some peace and quiet, but alas, his thoughts only crescendo in the silence.

Tonight had gone well, he thought. He’d been amenable to you and Jungkook, a fact that had shocked everyone in the house. He’d been decently nice to you, but Jungkook still got a bit of his cold shoulder. It was progress, a step in the right direction. Namjoon hadn’t had time to talk to you since the snowball fight, not when everyone barreled through the door ten minutes after and started calling dibs on the shower as fights ensued between the Min siblings and Jungkook to see who would get to shower first.

In the end, Seokjin had beaten the trio as he raced past their arguing selves and straight into the bathroom. With a smirk, Yoongi grinned and followed him, cockily stating, “that’s my man.”

Namjoon had kept to himself for most of the evening, lost in his thoughts as he held his wineglass in his hand, eyes fixated on the roaring fire. Everyone around him laughed, chattered and had a good time while he was bombarded with thoughts of you.

Memories of your relationship, ’I’m sorry.’ What had you meant? Sorry for touching him? Sorry for hurting him? Sorry for kissing Jungkook? Sorry for what?

“Fuck this,” he utters under his breath, his hand carding through his hair. He was thankful he had dyed it right before this trip. He wanted to make sure he looked good in case you showed up. It was purple and silver and he loved it. He wondered if you did too. Would you run your fingers through it like you used to? Would you tug it, moaning his name while you writhed beneath him, crying his name?

The hall light turned on, startling Namjoon. He looks over his shoulder to see you coming down the last two steps. Pausing when you catch sight of him.

“Shoot, sorry. I didn’t know someone was down here,” you apologize, tugging on the oversized shirt you’re wearing, your thigh-high socks leaving a few inches of exposed skin between them and the hem of your shirt. “I just came to get some water. The room is stifling.”

“Oh, yeah,” Namjoon clears his throat. You walk past him to get to the kitchen, returning shortly with a bottle of water.

“Are you okay?” you find yourself asking. You walk around the couch, sitting on the opposite end of Namjoon, as far away as possible to avoid making him uncomfortable.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he answers with a shrug.

“Is something keeping you up?”

“Just my thoughts,” Namjoon answers honestly, eyes boring into the flames of the fire. You nod, opening your water bottle, taking a drink.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” You ask, hoping you’re not overstepping. Namjoon pauses, could he confide in you? Could he ask the one question that’s been sitting dormant on his tongue for months?

“It’s a lot,” he finally admits, barely audible.

“I know we’re not on the best terms, but I’m here if you wanna talk. I know I’m probably the last person on your list, but the offer is there, Joon. Uh… Namjoon. Sorry.” You bite your lip nervously, feeling your cheeks flush with heat.

“Sorry,” he repeats. “Sorry…”

“Namjoon?” You quirk your head, noting the faraway look in his eyes as the flames reflect in his eyes, just barely. “Namjoon?”

“Hmm?” he hums as he looks at you, bemused. “You’re still here?”

“Do you want me to go?” you move to get off the couch, but his hand wraps around your wrist. His face is pleading, “stay.”

You inch closer to him, pulling your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your knees. It’s quiet for a moment, the both of you lost in a sea of your own thoughts.

“Does it ever get easy?” Namjoon whispers, avoiding meeting your gaze despite feeling the heat of your stare.

“What does?”

“Being near you,” Namjoon turns, taking in the way your lips part to release a gasp. “Seeing you with him.”

“Namjoon,” you start, but he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t… I’m sorry.” He apologizes before looking away. You feel your heart clench, your hand reaching for his, squeezing it before letting it go.

“I saw you made it onto the school paper. I was so proud of you, Joon. You’re doing great things, everything you wanted to accomplish,” you say as you grab a pillow, hugging it to your chest as you sit criss-cross on the couch.

“I’ve had a lot of time to work on my projects. I’m starting another research project in late January at the hospital. Yoongi’s helping me with this one, so I’ll be seeing a lot of him.”

“I’ve missed seeing him,” you mumble. Namjoon blinks, nodding. You sink further into the couch.

Was Yoongi the only one you had missed? Did he ever cross your mind? Did he occupy any of your thoughts?

“Yoongi used to live at the school cafe before he began his internship. I’m sure he’ll eventually pop in. He doesn’t hate you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Namjoon tries to reassure you, but that doesn’t stop the dark thoughts that cross your mind. You had lost Yoongi over your breakup, and Seokjin had just started being friendly toward you as of late. Hoseok… well, Hoseok was obligated to talk to you, eventually becoming your friend once again.

“I… I just wish things were like they used to be,” you mutter, sighing as you hold Namjoon’s gaze. He scowls, frowning.

“You know why it’s not.”

“It was a mistake!” you exclaim in a harsh whisper, looking at the stairs when you hear a noise. Namjoon bites his tongue, he doesn’t want to listen to more bullshit, he doesn’t have to.

“Joon!” You grab his hand, he feels the familiar heat of your palm. He’s lost in your touch, just like before.

“I was going to kiss his cheek, and he turned to tell me something. It was a mistake. He’s just a friend. It meant nothing,” You stress, hoping with all your heart he believes you.

“I-I don’t know if I can believe that, Y/n. It didn’t look like it meant nothing. Not to me,” he says honestly. You nod.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon.” You rise from your seat, leaving the decorative pillow on the couch. You grab your bottle of water, pausing to look at Namjoon. “It meant nothing. It was an accident. Goodnight.”

Namjoon watches you leave, his eyes following you as you go back up the stairs, turning the light off when you’re at the top. His eyes meet yours when you look at him one last time, shaking your head before going to your room.

After you’ve gone, Namjoon is sure he won’t be getting any sleep. How could he trust you to be telling the truth? Was it the truth or was it a fabricated story? Namjoon had seen the scene with his own two eyes. You had been kissing Jungkook on the lips, his hands holding your hips.

He’d seen it. Yoongi had seen it. Everyone had seen it. What was he supposed to believe? Were his eyes deceiving him? Had he imagined it? No, he hadn't. It had happened and now he was here a year later, still hopelessly in love with you. In love with the way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way you could take command of a room if you so pleased. To others, you may have come off as a pushover, a doormat, but oh, when you were set alight, you rivaled Yoonji. You were an enigma, but Namjoon had been set on figuring you out. He thought he had, or at least had come close until you threw him for a loop when you cheated on him.

Namjoon turns to the fireplace, stoic as he allows his thoughts to consume every inch of him until the sun is rising over the horizon. He blinks, rising from the couch and stretching his limbs before heading for the stairs.

“A mistake.”

Namjoon is starting to believe your words with each step he takes. Alcohol had been involved, you were clumsy…

“An accident.”

When he reaches the top of the stairs, Namjoon is wrapping his head around your conversation. A small smile tugs at his lips, his heart beginning to mend the cracks that were seared into it for the past year. He was ready to talk things out and see where you both stood. Hope bloomed in his chest.

“It meant nothing.”

Namjoon is surprised to hear a door opening. Who would be up this early after a night of drinking? He knew it was Christmas morning, but it wasn’t even six in the morning yet.

When you tiptoe out of Jungkook’s room, his heart sinks to his stomach. You shut the door and freeze when you see him.

“Namjoon, it’s not what you think,” you say immediately. Namjoon shakes his head, going into his own room, leaving you alone in the hallway. Any hopes of getting back together leave his head.

Breakfast is awkward. Not for your friends, but for you and Jungkook. Namjoon has been glaring daggers at the both of you in between bites of his pancakes. If anyone has noticed, none have been brave enough to mention wanting to avoid his wrath.

When it’s time to open presents, Jimin turns on his Christmas playlist to try to liven up the mood. Namjoon hangs back to the side, watching everyone exchange gifts. His eyes wander from you to Jungkook again and again.

Yoonji challenges you into doing a back roll in exchange for one of the gifts you received that she wanted. You weren’t one to back down from a challenge, much less one against your best friend.

You’re on!” you shout, before allowing Yoonji to go first. She does well but ends up curving to the right before splaying on the floor.

“Your turn,” she sings as she goes to sit on the couch beside Hoseok. You grin, doing a perfect back roll and cheering when you are back on your feet. You jump up and down, catching Namjoon’s attention as he sees something shine on your chest. When you settle down, he realizes it’s the necklace he had gotten you for last Christmas.

You were wearing the necklace. How long had you worn it? Was it always hidden under your clothing?

Namjoon turns, catching Jungkook’s gaze. He raises a brow at him, Jungkook cocks his head to the side. Namjoon nods and the two silently leave the living room without garnering attention as Yoongi and Yoonji start another argument, both doing back rolls before Jin and Hoseok are dragged into their battle.

Jungkook goes up the stairs, hearing the muffled footsteps of Namjoon on the carpeted stairs right behind him.

Namjoon follows him into his bedroom, shutting the door as Jungkook points to a chair for him to sit in. He’s nervous, that much he can tell by the way his tongue pokes his cheek.

“You saw it,” Jungkook states matter-of-fact. He wrings his hands in his lap now that he’s sat on his bed.

“How long?”

“Since you left that night,” Jungkook licks his lips, wondering if he’s doing the right thing? You were his best friend, and he knew how you get about Namjoon, but to spill his friend’s secrets? That doesn’t sit well with him.

“Why?” Namjoon asks, flabbergasted. “Why would she keep wearing it?”

Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back. The both of you were hopeless.

“Why do you think, Namjoon? Why would your ex keep the last sentimental item you gave her? Why is she wearing it daily under her clothing despite you being broken up for a year?”

Namjoon licks his lips, his hands growing clammy, “because it’s pretty?”

Jungkook cackles, “b-because it’s pretty?! Oh good grief, Namjoon! You can’t tell me you believe she’d wear that necklace without ever taking it off because it was pretty?”

Namjoon is silent, staring holes into the floor as he feels the heat of Jungkook’s gaze on him, his cheeks now pink from the staring.

“Then why?”

“She loves you. And I know you still love her, don’t try to deny it,” Jungkook states when he sees Namjoon open his mouth to protest. He shuts it, making the younger man smirk. “I’ve seen the way you two have been during this past week. You two think nobody’s noticed, but we have. All of us.”

Namjoon is at a loss for words, his hand carding through his hair.

“We expected this trip to be a disaster. I didn’t want to come, but she insisted and so did Yoonji. I never got the chance to talk to you after that night, I tried, but well…” Jungkook trails off, shrugging.

“Could you blame me?” Namjoon asks.

“No, but I wanted to tell you it was an accident. She stumbled into me and I turned to catch her, I didn’t want her spilling her drink on my new leather jacket. Anyway, that’s when you walked in. I can assure you, Namjoon, it meant nothing to her or to me. We’re best friends, we have been since we were children…” Jungkook looks lost in thought, his tongue poking at his cheek once again as his brows furrowed.

A pained look crosses his face, a deep frown on his lips but before Namjoon can ask the reason for it, Jungkook speaks, “but if that’s what it takes. If that’s what needs to happen for her to find her happiness with you, I’ll stop being her friend. She loves you so much. She’s been through hell and back, beating herself up over it. We didn’t talk for a few weeks after, both of us felt too guilty to talk to one another. “

Namjoon’s eyes widen, immediately he shakes his head, “don’t. Don’t do that, Kook. That would break her heart.”

Jungkook wipes at his eyes, a shuddering breath escaping him, “if that’s what it takes.”

“If I’d just listened to either of you,” Namjoon sighs heavily before walking to the bed and throwing himself on it. Jungkook joins him as they both stare up at the ceiling.

“I heard the two of you talking last night. I swear to you, the kiss meant nothing. And I know you saw her leaving my room, but that’s ‘cause I asked her if she wanted to talk. There’s nothing going on between us and there will never be anything between us other than friendship.”

“This whole thing is fucked,” Namjoon grumbles as he rubs his palms over his face. “Fuck.”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed with a talk and some honesty. She hasn’t taken that necklace off since that night. She absentmindedly touches it whenever you cross her mind, which is often. She doesn’t think I’ve noticed, but I have. She misses you. I’ve missed you…” Namjoon looks at Jungkook and smiles at him, squeezing his arm gently.

A knock comes on the door before it opens, and Seokjin is poking his head in.

“Is everything okay?” He asks as he shuts the door after him before joining them on the bed. He looks up at the ceiling, “what are we looking at?”

“Nothing,” Namjoon chuckles before he sits up.

“We were just talking,” Jungkook says as he sits up and shakes his hair out of his face.

“Wanna join us downstairs? We’re getting ready to watch movies and Taehyung and Jimin are making more drinks,” Seokjin states as he gets up and heads for the door. Namjoon and Jungkook follow after him, sitting beside each other for the movie marathon. You can’t seem to wonder what happened while they were gone and when you ask Jungkook, all he has to say is, “later.”

“So then he bends me over the car, mind you it’s a rental, and fucks me right out in the street under a street lamp,” Yoonji pauses to take a sip of her cocktail. Namjoon blinks, Jungkook takes a shot, Yoongi grimaced, gagging and pleading his sister to shut the fuck up.

Hoseok is red in the face, looking anywhere but at Yoonji as she continues her story, “we’re just going at it so hard. Fuck, he held my body so tight, hand wrapped around my throat as he fucked into me.”

Yoonji gets a faraway look in her eyes as she recalls the night, “he was so hot. You all need to go fuck on vacation.”

Taehyung looks at Jimin, “we fuck each other on vacation.”

“Sometimes we add a third...or a forth…” Jimin smirks, licking his lips as he meets Jungkook’s flustered gaze. He turns, cheeks tinted pink as he takes another shot.

“So you fucked him and never saw him again?” Seokjin asks, ignoring the way Yoongi groans beside him, covering his ears and singing, “la-la-la-la-la-la.”

“I didn’t say that,” Yoonji giggles, winking at Seokjin.

“So you’re still fucking him?” Namjoon asks. Yoonji smiles, “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Oh, now you don’t kiss and tell? You just gave us a graphic description of the dude who rearranged your guts on fall break!” Yoongi huffs. “Thanks for the nightmares.”

“You’re welcome,” she sings as she waves her hand to move the conversation in a different direction.

“What are the plans for tonight?” Hoseok asks, running a hand through his hair as he avoids meeting Yoonji’s gaze.

“We can drive around to see the Christmas lights. We haven’t done that yet! I’ll make drinks!” Taehyung exclaims.

“No more alcohol!” Seokjin follows his brother into the kitchen, the both of them squabbling as they go.

“I guess we should get ready?” Jimin asks as he gets up from his seat to change into a warmer outfit.

You and Namjoon get up after giving each other a wide berth.

Once Jungkook noticed they were out of earshot, he turned to his friends, “Yoonji, give your car keys to Namjoon. Everyone else is going in Tae’s Escalade, so they’ll finally talk!”

“Why are you meddling?” Yoongi sighs. “It’s been a year.”

“They love each other,” Jungkook defends. “Come on, let’s go.”

Yoongi reluctantly agrees, going to tell the Kim brothers about the new development. Yoonji grabs Hoseok and drags him into the back row of the seats before anyone else even manages to get outside.

“Did you have to tell them that story?” Hoseok asks Yoonji as she holds his hand in her own.

“I gotta brag about you, even if they don’t know,” Yoonji pouts. Hoseok sighs, looking at the front door of the house before quickly kissing his girlfriend.

“We should just tell them,” Hoseok states, but Yoonji shakes her head.

“Yoongi might not take it well….”

“Baby, I… I wanna tell him. It’s been months, we’re not just fooling around. I-I love you,” Hoseok’s face turns red as he admits how he feels. Yoonji’s eyes pool with tears before she’s wrapping her arms around him to hug him.

“Hey…” Jungkook says as he opens the door and climbs in. “Seokjin and Yoongi are coming out next. Are you gonna tell them?”

“Not tonight,” Yoonji responds quickly. Hoseok is about to protest, but Yoonji continues. “Tomorrow morning, but not tonight.”

“Okay,” Hoseok solemnly agrees as he scoots far away from Yoonji and Jungkook squeezes between the couple.

True to his word, Jin and Yoongi come outside and join the others, followed by Jimin and Taehyung.

You come out followed by Namjoon. Jimin lowers the front window, “sorry, we’re full. You gotta take Yoonji’s car and follow us.”

“Where’s Yoonji?” You ask with a scowl.

“She wanted to ride with us. Have fun!” Jimin raises the window as he starts the engine.

You look at Namjoon before going to Yoonji’s car. He has her car keys in his hand and gets in the driver’s side.

You feel awkward as you put your seatbelt on and Namjoon follows Taehyung. Music plays softly from the radio, snow gently falling.

“They planned this,” Namjoon grumbles as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel at a red light.

“I’m sure it was Yoonji’s doing,” you sigh as you look at the vehicle filled with your traitorous friends in front of you.

“Actually… it may have been Jungkook.” You look over at Namjoon with a disbelieving look. “Kook? Why would he do this?”

“Because we talked,” Namjoon shrugs as the light turns green and he moves on forward. You take your phone out to text your so called best friend but a response doesn’t arrive.

“When did you and Kook talk? Wh-what did he say?” You swallow thickly, biting your bottom lip nervously as your heart raced frantically in your chest.

Namjoon turns to look at you for a brief second, “we’ll talk tonight. I promise.”

You nod ruefully, knowing he’d keep his promise.

You sigh in relief when the car finally stops, Namjoon turning the engine off before unbuckling his seatbelt at the same time as you reach for yours. Your eyes lock, fingers accidentally brushing.

Namjoon stares at you, unblinking. You look down at his lips then back up to his eyes, licking your lips. You want to kiss him, want to have him hold you in his arms once again, but the moment is fleeting as Jungkook and Yoonji barrel toward the both of you, shouting at you to hurry up.

It was pointless for them to tell you to hurry, when they take off with the group, far ahead of you. You debate running after them, but it’s too chilly and the snow is too thick for you to run comfortably without the harsh air filling your lungs.

“Bastards,” you grumble as you shove your hands under your arms and walk beside Namjoon. He places his gloved hands in his coat pockets as he walks. The houses on the block have their lights on, some with elaborate decorations and other with minimal decorations that still draw your eye.

Some have large inflatables of Disney characters, one has a Santa Claus on a motorcycle with his sack of toys spilling after him and another has Santa shirtless in a hot tub with a snowman and a penguin, you think that one is your favorite. You point it out to Namjoon, your eyes bright as you reach for his arm, tugging him toward it to get a better view.

Namjoon is startled by your sudden touch, but follows you regardless. Your hand moves from his arm to his hand, lacing your fingers with his, “look! Isn’t it cute?!” Namjoon nods, swallowing thickly as he looks down at your interlaced hands.

’Just do it!’ Namjoon tried to hype himself up as you took in the Christmas lights. You had mentioned how you had wanted to go see some, seeing as you hadn’t had the chance to with school and finals, but now that they were over, you wanted to go. Namjoon had spent the day with his family, but had cleared his evening to take you out.

It was a bit of a drive, but Seokjin had recommended a Christmas light show about thirty minutes away. It was two miles of nothing but Christmas lights and elaborate decorations, plus carnival games and a few rides. It was perfect and open on Christmas.

You had no idea where you were going when Namjoon had picked you up, just stressing you dress warm. You looked radiant when he picked you up, wishing you a merry Christmas as you leaned over the console and kissed him. His heart skipped a beat.

You didn’t ask too many questions as you went on your way. He listened to the holiday drama with your family, your aunt prodding you about your relationship. Namjoon loved the way you giggled when he filled you in on his night, his nosey aunts trying to pry information out of him.

“I’m glad that’s over… until New Year’s at least,” you mutter, pouting.

“We can sneak out and head over to Seokjin’s and Tae’s? You know he always throws a two-day bash for his birthday and New Year’s Eve,” Namjoon reminds you.

“That sounds like so much fun! I won’t have to go through another interrogation and a safe sex talk,” you grimace, shuddering.

Namjoon laughs. Hard. Tears blur his vision for a moment, trying to catch his breath… “you’re kidding!”

“I fucking wish I was… now all my family knows I’m on the pill. We haven’t even held hands yet.”

Namjoon grins, “your family sounds fun.”

“You only say that ‘cause you haven’t met them yet,” you grumble. Namjoon chuckles, shaking his head as he drives on.

When he parks, he gets out of the car before opening your door to let you out. You thank him as you head toward the entrance, immediately in awe when you see a pumpkin carriage decorated in thousands of lights while Cinderella and Prince Charming stand beside it, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

“It’s so beautiful,” you marvel as you walk to the next display, your eye landing on the long line of children excited to see Santa, some with lists as long as them, jumping up and down while their parents try to keep them from running to Santa.

Namjoon leads you to a booth, buying the both of you a hot chocolate as you walk side by side to look at the displays, stopping to watch a light show at a house that has rock music blasting as loudly as possible. It warms Namjoon’s heart to see you grinning, in awe of all the lights. You both finish your drinks before heading to the Ferris Wheel and waiting in line for your turn.

When you shiver, Namjoon takes his scarf off and wraps it around you. You thank him, gripping it and loving the way it smells like him.

“Come,” he leads you into the Ferris Wheel when it’s your turn, allowing you to get in first before he climbs in after you and the door shuts before you begin moving.

“Look!” you point toward the ground, loving the view of all the lights. Namjoon can’t help but look at you, smiling, so happy to be there. He’s nervous once again, suddenly feeling hot despite the chilly weather.

You turn to look at him, making his brain short-circuit. You make it hard for him to focus, you heart-stoppingly beautiful and sweet. His heart skips a beat, his nerves getting the best of him when he’s around you. His body warms at your touch, infrequent as it may be. You’re a radiating beauty of a woman, you’re everything he could want and so, so much more.

Your smile is his doom, his heart going into overdrive as you quirk your head to the side, bemused.

“Joonie?”

Namjoon leans forward, his lips meeting yours, taking you by surprise. You kiss him back after a second, feeling his hands cup your face as you grip the lapels of his coat.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Namjoon chuckles, his cheeks tinted pink. The last of his nerves leave his body as he inhales deeply, his fingers lacing with yours as he holds your hand, squeezing it. You squeeze his back, placing your head on his shoulder as you enjoy the rest of the ride with your hand in his. It fits perfectly.

“Namjoon?! Joon?! Hello!” you wave your hand in front of him, he blinks. “You there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he apologizes as you hand him your phone, asking him to take your picture by the hot tub santa. He does so, laughing when you lean in to kiss Santa’s cheek before running back toward him. He hands you the phone before you put it in your pocket, your hand slipping back into his as you lead him to the next house, just as excited as you were to see the previous one.

Your friends all watch from afar, hope for the two of you reconciling filling their hearts. It was plain to see that the both of you belonged together, and the year apart was torture for all parties involved. It had been a messy situation for everyone but this trip was going to change everything, hopefully for the better.

Jungkook split off with Hoseok and Yoonji, to make them seem less inconspicuous while Seokjin, Yoongi, Tae and Jimin went off on their own, holding hands with their respective partners.

“They left us,” you state as you move onto the next house and your friends are fully out of sight.

“They plotted this,” Namjoon sighs before apologizing to you. “I know you don’t wanna be near me. This whole trip has been some elaborate scheme to get us to talk.”

“I’m glad I came. I wouldn’t be holding your hand if I didn’t want to,” you say as you look down at your hands. Namjoon squeezes it gently.

“We’ll talk when we go home,” Namjoon assures you as he kisses your forehead, allowing you to lead the way to the next display.

“Merry Christmas!” Hoseok raises his glass. Everyone raises their own, nobody noticing how he looks intensely at Yoonji. He aches to be by her side, celebrating without having to be a secret, but he knows by tomorrow, everyone will know.

Yoonji blushes, looking away as she sips her drink before Jimin pulls her into a conversation. She can’t help but keep looking at Hoseok, both yearning to be at each other’s sides. Unbeknownst to them, someone else has caught wind of their interactions.

“I love you all, but it’s been a long day and we’re going to bed,” Seokjin yawns as he takes Yoongi’s hand and leads him up the stairs to their bedroom.

“They’re gonna fuck,” Taehyung chuckles, getting smacked on the arm by his boyfriend. “What?! You act like we’ve never used that excuse.”

Jimin blinks, cheeks pink as he gets off Taehyung’s lap, stomping off to their shared bedroom. Taehyung smirks, “a fake argument is our second escape plan. Good night! Jimin! Baby, I’m sorry!”

Jungkook laughs as Taehyung pauses, turning to raise his hands, one in the shape of a circle as he slides his index finger in and out of it before running off into his room, the door slamming shut.

“Well, since everyone is going to fuck, I’m going to bed. Y/n, are you coming?” Yoonji asks with a yawn.

“I’m gonna stay and clean up a bit,” you answer. Yoonji shrugs before Hoseok is asking Namjoon what he plans to do.

“I’ll stay to help,” Namjoon answers. Hoseok shrugs as Jungkook tags along, stating how he’s gonna take a shower and play the new update of Final Fantasy 14.

Once you’re left alone with Namjoon, you work on cleaning the living room first. You figure the kitchen isn’t too bad, wiping the counters and throwing a load of dishes into the dishwasher.

“I’m going to go change into my pajamas and come back down,” you say as you head for the stairs. Namjoon nods as he finishes washing his hands and checking on the fire burning in the fireplace before he’s heading to his room to change.

Hoseok is lying in bed, on his phone. He doesn’t see or hear Namjoon coming in to change before leaving to go back downstairs.

By the time he’s downstairs, you’re sitting on the couch, with only the glow of the fire and the Christmas tree.

“I made hot chocolate,” you state, pointing at the Santa mug on a coaster sitting on the coffee table. Yours is in a snowman mug, Namjoon smiles warmly, it was good to know you still loved snowmen.

“Of all the things I thought this trip would turn out to be, I never imagined we’d be sitting here together,” you muse as you bring your mug to your lips.

“Neither did I,” Namjoon admits. “I was still so hurt, but I should have just let you explain. We could have been together sooner.”

“I really am sorry, Joon. It was an accident,” you whisper.

“No more apologies, love. Please…”

Your heart pounds faster in your chest, cheeks flushed with heat as you take a sip of your hot chocolate to keep from squealing giddily. Butterflies flutter in your stomach and you hope the chocolate drowns them.

Namjoon looks at you, studying your face in search for a reaction. You place your hand on top of his, “where do we go from here?”

Biting his lip, Namjoon asks, “where do you want us to go?”

“I still love you, Namjoon. I know that’s heavy considering we’ve been broken up for a year, but I never stopped loving you. I want to be with you again. I want you back,” you look up at him, locking your eyes with his, refusing to look away.

“We’d have to go slow,” Namjoon starts. “I don’t want to lose you again, but I don’t want to rush into this. I want to go slow, build up to where we were… if that’s okay?” Namjoon looks down at his hands and then meets your gaze.

“That sounds perfect, Joon. I don’t want to rush this either. I don’t want to mess this up again, you mean too much to me. Being away from you was torture. I missed you desperately. I fucked up, I know I did but I love you and that hasn’t changed. You’re the only one I want, I swear,” you sniffle, wiping away the tears that have escaped.

“Baby,” Namjoon breathes as he sets his mug down and then yours before he pulls you into his arms. Your sobs wrack your body, tears running down your cheeks as you wrap your arms around his waist. His hand rubs your back as he softly whispers, “it’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’m here.”

You’re not sure how much time passes before you’re able to calm down with his soothing voice and his loving touch, but when you do move away from his chest, he wipes the last of your tears with his thumbs. His dimpled smile makes an appearance, your heart racing in your chest as you look up at him. His fingers caress your cheek softly, his eyes flicking to your lips then to your eyes once again as he leans forward, stopping before his lips meet yours.

You close the distance between you, kissing him as your hands grip his shoulders to pull him closer as his hands cup your face. His lips fit perfectly on yours, moving slowly in a hesitant, nervous kiss that makes you excited and warm inside.

Namjoon deepens the kiss as his hands move down to your hips, your arms wrapping around his neck as he pulls you into his lap. You moan softly when he nips your bottom lip before pulling away to catch his breath.

“Wow!” You giggle, looking away as his stare makes you feel hot and needy. Namjoon chuckles, kissing the top of your head as his arms encircle your waist.

“So… we’re dating again?” you ask, your fingers playing with his before he laces them together.

“Yes, we can progress to boyfriend/girlfriend later on,” Namjoon looks nervous as he says this but you kiss his cheek and hug him tighter.

The both of you sit on the couch until you’re yawning and Namjoon’s leading you up the stairs, his hands on your hips as he presses you against the wall by his bedroom. His lips on yours in a fervent kiss that has you moaning as your fingers weave in his hair, tugging it roughly.

“Fuck,” Namjoon grunts, his hips pressing against yours. You melt under his touch, warmth spreading through you as another moan escapes you. Your hands move to his shoulders, loving the way his lips feel on your neck, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

“Whoa!” Jungkook exclaims as he comes out of his bedroom.

Namjoon blushes as he steps away from you, a smile on your lips.

“I knew it! Holy shit!” Jungkook shouts, jumping up and down.

“Shh!” you hiss at your best friend, but it’s too late.

“What’s all the shouting about?!” Yoongi grumbles as he opens his bedroom door with Seokjin behind him before they step out into the hall.

“Y/n! What are you shouting about? You’re supposed to be in Kook’s room!” Yoonji grumbles as she opens the door with a shirtless Hoseok behind her.

Everyone stares at Hoseok, his face burning red as he tries to hide behind Yoonji. You slap your hand over your forehead. Fuck.

“What is Hoseok doing shirtless in your room, Yoonji?” Yoongi asks his younger sister with a glare at his friend.

“What do you mean Y/n should be in Kook’s room?” Namjoon asks with a harsh glare at Jungkook.

“Oh god.” you look up at the ceiling before turning to Yoongi. “Might as well come clean. Hoseok is covered in your lip marks.”

Yoonji flicks you off as Hoseok slips back into the room to slip his shirt back on and taking Yoonji’s hand in his, “we’re dating. We have been for months now.”

Yoongi sighs, a palm running over his face, “why didn’t you say anything?”

“We thought you’d get mad and make us breakup,” Yoonji pouts as she gives her brother her best puppy-dog eyes. It works, Yoongi’s glare softens.

“We were going to tell you tomorrow morning,” Hoseok says as he looks at all of you, twiddling his thumbs after. “We didn’t mean to keep it a secret for so long, but we hadn’t been able to see each other since Fall Break and we just wanted to spend the holidays together.”

“I fucking knew it! I suspected it from the moment Yoonji rolled in and hugged Hoseok tight as hell. You never hug any of us that tight,” Seokjin smiles smugly. “And those fuck-me eyes you’d exchange at the table and earlier when we were drinking. Ugh, the sexual tension between the both of you, fuck!”

Yoongi scowls, elbowing his boyfriend, “shush, that’s my sister.”

“Wait… so that story you told… that was Hoseok, wasn’t it?” Yoongi gags, turning to go into his room with Jin behind him. They shut the door, leaving the five of you in the hallway.

“Could have been worse,” Jungkook shrugs. Yoonji flips him off.

“What did you mean about Y/n being in Kook’s room?” Namjoon asks with a raised brow.

“Oh, I can explain,” Hoseok says, blushing. “She’s been sleeping with Kook, so I could sneak into Yoonji’s room when you go to sleep.”

Namjoon looks at you, Jungkook and then the couple, blinking, “you could have told me and I’d have gone to the couch. You should have told me in general, I’d have kept your secret.”

Hoseok can see the hurt look in his friend’s eyes, crossing the hall to hug him, “I’m sorry. We just wanted to keep it between us and we had to let Kook and Y/n in on it so we could be in the same room. It wasn’t to be malicious, I promise.”

Namjoon nods, “any other secrets while we’re out here?”

Everyone looks at each other before shaking their heads.

“Good, I’m going to bed then. It’s been a long day,” Joon sighs as he muffles a yawn, Jungkook agrees saying, “Tae and Jimin are gonna be pissed they missed this. They’ve been placing bets on how long it’d take the two of you to reveal your relationship.”

“They knew?” Yoonji gasps, looking at Hoseok. “Don’t look at me, I didn’t say anything.”

“Goodnight,” Namjoon says as he reaches out to grab the doorknob to his room. He turns to look at you, “you coming, baby?”

You nod, waving at your dumbfounded friends as you follow Namjoon into his room, shutting the door and climbing into his bed with him. He pulls the covers over you, holding you close as you face him. You smile warmly, your hand cupping his cheek, his eyes roam to the necklace around your neck. His fingers pull it out of your shirt as you feel heat rush to your cheeks, trying to avoid his gaze.

“You kept it?” He whispers as his fingers trace the intricate design of the snowflake. His fingers brush the engraving on the back, three simple words that make his heart skip a beat. I love you.

You finally meet his heated gaze, his eyes able to read all the unspoken words and confessions of the depth of your feelings. He believes that in due time you’ll get back to where you were, to that ease and happiness that you once had before last Christmas… and maybe this Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.

It’s with that thought, that Namjoon looks at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand in between his and Hoseok’s bed, smiling when he sees the time.

11:59 PM.

Namjoon strokes your cheek, leaning in to press a soft kiss on your lips, “Merry Christmas, baby.”

thank you for reading! ♡ if you liked it, please let me know! 💌

© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, this includes Youtube.

[lubdubsworld]

City Lights . ( Namjoon x OC)

Pairing : OC x Kim Namjoon.

Genre : Angst. Romance.

Rating 18 + 

Word Count : 2900

Warnings :  Mature Themes , Explicit Sexual Content . Slow burn. Like slower than a snail.

Summary :

Widowed and destitute, Son Yang Mi leaves the comfort of her small , secluded  fishing village and travels to the intimidating city of Seoul with her young son. She has a plan, one that involves finding a job, getting her son into a good school and building a life for herself.

Now, three years later she has a job , working as a live in house keeper for the Kim family, specifically for the son,  Kim Namjoon, a famous rapper and producer. 

Its a job that puts a roof over her head and she’ll do anything to keep it. 

But fate has other plans.

Chapter 1 ~

Akogare (ah-koh-ga-reh)Often translated directly as a sort of frustrated “yearning”, “desire”, or “longing” .

Seoul in summer was a sight to behold. I blinked back against the bright sunlight, staring out into the stunning skyline of the city as the sun rose over it , and although it was just a little past seven in the morning, the air was warm and invigorating. The mid July sun shone down with no mercy, and there was no trace of the rain that had lashed city just the previous night.

It had been three whole years but the relief that came from breathing fresh air, untainted by the damp musk of fishing trowels and sweaty men, was still unrivalled.

I shook off the feather duster in my hand, moving to carefully clean the wicker woven chairs on the artificial lawn in the balcony. Dusting the entire condo down was a mind numbing exercise in patience, so i tried to get it out of the way, early in the morning when my son was still asleep.

At six years old, Junsu was a bright , happy child. Summer vacation meant days sleeping in and evenings spent frolicking with the other kids in the building and he was content with being alone in our small shared room, reading or playing with his toys while I went about the day’s work.

I glanced at the clock, grimacing.

It was almost eight . And although Mr. Kim wasn’t due back home for another twelve hours, I felt a little jittery and nervous.

Kim Namjoon , renowned rapper, producer, writer , poet and what not. The apartment was his but he was usually on tour, traveling all over the world to promote his book and to perform in sold out stadiums. For an A list celebrity, he was surprisingly humble.

For the past three years, him and his model fiancée  Lee Mina had spent a total of maybe seven months in the condo. They were a sweet couple, or so I’d always thought , a bit formal with each other but clearly in love . Mr. Kim was a kind, soft spoken young man and I’d never heard him raise his voice unless he was in the company of his very dear friends.

Just a little over a week ago , both of them  had left Korea for the States , the tabloids screaming about a luxurious destination wedding in the Caribbean and I had been asked to take a few weeks off . The newly weds wouldn’t be back for quite a while and they would let me know when I had to come back to the condo.

I’d been toying with the idea of visiting my in laws in Gwangyog, maybe even dropping by to see some old friends there but yesterday , Mr. Kim’s mother had given me a call letting me know her son was coming home. 

[ 

The conversation went something like this :

Yang Mi, I hope you haven’t left yet?

No, Ma'am, I haven’t.

Joon-ah is going to be back tomorrow.

Oh, is Ms Lee arriving as well?

No, Just him He’s going to be alone.

Yes, Ma'am.

Please don’t mention anything about Mina or the wedding.

No ma'am of course not.

I’ll drop by later . Cook him something warm and filling. And make sure the house is cleaned well.

Yes, Ma’ am.

]

And that was that.

~~~~~~

It took the better part of the day to finish cleaning and setting up the house . I washed the window slats, changed the sheets, arranged the books that had been left scattered all over his bedroom. The walk-in closet was littered with a bunch of his clothes and I made sure his gym bag was stocked with fresh towels, spare clothes and his favorite head and wrist bands. 

For someone so careful and calculated, he was really quite a messy man. 

i did his laundry, making sure he had ample clothes at least for another two weeks, creasing the handkerchiefs and carefully removing lint from his jackets. 

I also carefully sorted out the feminine clothing from the laundry and from the cupboard, folding them neatly and placing them in the lowest shelf of the closet, where he wouldn’t find them. It wasn’t hard, hiding traces of his fiancee from the condo, because it had never really been her home. other than a few spare pieces of underwear and a couple of t shirts and skirts, there weren’t many articles of clothing belonging to Ms. Lee. 

But I still got rid of the bobby pins and hair ties, the spare lip gloss and mascara.

Junsu spent the entire day in our room, reading and drawing, only venturing out every few hours to grab a snack. I left him with his drawing tab ( a gift from Mr. Kim for his 5th birthday )  and his favorite book, asking the security guard at the end of the hallway to keep an eye on the door, while i went out to buy groceries.

Lots of meat, no sea food, healthy snacks and high protein fiber bars. I stocked up on sauces and bought a fresh batch of eggs, oranges and grapes . Mrs. Kim had sent a large amount of kimchi a few weeks ago and that was still in the pantry.

i stopped for a second, staring around at the almost deserted store. Most of the other housekeepers shopped at the bigger, more exclusive store on the other side of the residential complex. But Mr. Kim had a very selective palette, which meant that I had to be very particular about the brands i bought.

When i came back home at around six, Junsu was on the floor in the living space and i felt my heart jump in panic.

“Baby!! I’ve told you not to come out here when I’m not home!” I protested bleakly and he pouted.

“I need to show you my gift for Mr. Kim!!” He said softly. I smiled moving to put away the groceries and glancing at the clock. It was a little past six. I had to call Yungyu.

“Did you draw him something ? “ I asked curiously, checking to see if the beer shelf was stocked. probably should have done that before going out for the groceries, I thought regretfully.

“Yeah! Look!!” Junsu held his tab out and my heart dropped.

For a six year old, Junsu drew very well. And there was really no mistaking the very obvious wedding scene on the screen.

Oh, Good God.

“ That looks amazing honey.” I said gently. “ But, I heard that Ms Lee isn’t coming over this time..”

Junsu frowned.

“Why?”

“Well, I’m not sure. But remember how we spoke about saying the right things? When something upsets someone, we do not bring it up.” I reminded him gently. My son hesitated but nodded.

“Okay. I’m sorry. “ He said softly.

“No baby, its not your fault. It’s just that we want Mr. Kim to be happy right? We don’t wanna upset him...”

He smiled at that.

“When he’s happy, his dimples come out.” He said with a giggle. I laughed.

“yes they do... So let’s try and get those dimples out as often as we can alright? Why don’t you show him that picture you drew of yeontan the other day? He’ll really like that....”

“Okay...but i need to go color it!” Junsu yelled, already running back into our room. I watched him go before reaching for the phone and dialing, Yungyu, the chauffeur.

“Are you on the way here? ” i said briskly.

“Just starting from home...” Yungyu muttered, “ I’m supposed to be on vacation now! Why is he coming back so soon?” 

“Just hurry up !! We can’t keep him waiting!!” I said sharply, before hanging up. 

I made a quick check of all the rooms, filling up water bottles for his gym routine in the morning and stashing them in the fridge before moving to get dinner started. 

i set the water on boil for the stew, before moving to peel cucumbers for the salad. I chopped the cucumber , along with some fresh cherry tomatoes . I watched the water boil, thinly slicing an onion and adding it to the bowl as well. The dressing was pretty simple,  soy sauce, rice vinegar, honey and sesame oil . I sprinkled some sesame seeds on the bowl, used the salad tongs to give the whole thing a nice toss and set it aside. 

I braised the chicken first , peeling and chopping potatoes and carrots to add to the stew . In a few minutes, the rich smell of lightly spiced chicken and garlic and perilla  leaves began filling the kitchen and I turned on the rice cooker as well. 

The door bell rang at six forty and i opened the door to reveal Yungyu. 

I grabbed the keys to the Palisade, handing them over to him.

“Did you hear?” He whispered urgently.

I frowned.

“What?”

“They say Mr. Kim called off the wedding!” He whispered, wide eyed. 

I glared at him.

“Who told you that?” i demanded...

“Seojoon from the gate said-”

“Why don’t you ask Seojoon from the gate to mind his own damn business?” I snapped. 

Yungyu looked suitably chastised. i felt a little bad. Yungyu was still young and curiosity was hardly a sin. 

“His flight lands at eight exactly. Hurry okay?” I said with a smile, ruffling his hair.

He brightened, peering over my shoulder into the house.

“Where’s the little one?” He asked curiously.

“ Painting something for Mr. Kim... Go ahead, hurry up.” I shooed him away, locking the door behind him. I fixed a plate of food for Junsu and sent him to eat, before moving to check on the stew. +

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

By the time eight thirty rolled around I had the table set and ready. I washed my face quickly in the small bath attached to our room , making sure I was dressed well. Junsu wasn’t allowed in the main house unless Mr. Kim specifically asked for him and my son usually stayed in. 

Junsu and I stayed in a bedroom , not large by any means but big enough for a queen sized bed, a table and chair for Junsu and small dresser where I kept a comb and a tube of night cream. I stared at my face, licking my lips as I smoothed my hair out. 

I glanced at the bed. 

Junsu was asleep , having dozed off while coloring his picture and I carefully extracted the tab from under his fingers, moving him around to lay on the soft pillows. I tucked him in gently, brushing the hair off his face. 

“In peace , I will lie down to sleep, for You alone will let me rest in safety.” I whispered gently against his forehead, kissing the soft skin. I felt my lips wobble , a debilitating wave of affection flooding me as the sweet scent of my baby, filled my senses.

 I would die for you, I thought fiercely, kissing him again. 

The sound of the front door opening made me jump. 

Swearing, i smoothed the fabric of my skirt, running to the kitchen. 

“Thank you for picking me up Yungyu, I’m sorry you had to cut short on your vacation.” Mr. Kim’s deep voice filled the hallway and I quickly grabbed a glass, filling it with water and placing it on the dinner tray.

“Not a problem, Sir. “ Yungyu’s cheerful voice responded.

“How are you going home?” Mr. Kim asked. 

“I’ll take the bus.”

A pause and then, 

“Here’s some cash. Get a cab.” 

I could hear the relief in Yungyu’s voice as he let out a , “ Thank you sir.” 

I fixed his plate carefully, the bowl of rice, the bowl of chicken stew, and the salad neatly arranged next to the napkin and the chopsticks. I heard him move across the condo, the sound of his suitcases as he wrestled them towards his bedroom and I frowned. Yungyu should’ve have brought those in for him. 

I finished reheating all of the food and carefully carried the dinner tray to the bedroom. 

Mr. Kim’s bedroom was right at the end of the hallway and the door was open. The full length mirror on the opposite wall showed him sitting on the small couch in his room, legs spread and elbows resting on his knees as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

I raised my hand, ready to knock on the wood. 

“Fuck!” He shouted, kicking out at the coffee table with enough force to send the furniture skidding half way across the room. 

I froze in the hallways stunned. 

“You’re such a fucking fool , Namjoon !!” He muttered angrily and I swallowed, turning on my heel and quickly walking back to the kitchen. 

Maybe I ought to wait till he asked for dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He didn’t ask for dinner. 

I stayed sitting on the floor of the kitchen, waiting and lightly dozing as I heard him talk to his parents on the phone. I heard him open the liquor cabinet in his room, the sound of ice sloshing against glass, the sound of whiskey being poured carefully and i sighed. 

I had to get to bed. It was already a little past eleven. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometime in the night, I woke up sweating.... 

Wondering what woke me up, I blinked groggily, glancing at Junsu. He was still sound asleep. 

Sighing, I climbed out of the bed, carefully making my way to Mr. Kim’s room, peering in carefully. 

He was asleep on the sofa.

I stared at the way his long legs stretched over the armrest, his lean hips twisted to accommodate his broad shoulders on the couch and I winced. He was definitely going to regret that in the morning. 

I stared at the half empty bottle of whiskey on the table and sighed, moving to take off his shoes carefully. He didn’t stir. 

I grabbed a pillow from the bed, carefully lifting his head and slipping it under. I placed a comforter over his shoulders, pulling it down to cover his legs. 

Force of habit almost made me brush his hair off his forehead but I stopped myself. 

The clock on the wall read three fifty am. God, I was going to feel terrible tomorrow. I carefully tip toed out, shutting the door behind me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I picked the comforter from the floor, carefully folding it and placing it on the bed, before grabbing the empty bottle of whiskey and glass . i could hear the shower running. The curtains were still drawn in and I tugged on the strings to get them to open. Sunlight spilled in through the floor length windows. The bed wasn’t slept in, so I opened the closet to grab a couple of towels, laying them on the bed for him. 

The bathroom door opened and i quickly straightened, wanting to race out of the room but it was too late. Thankfully he was dressed,  a pair of loose sweats and a loose t shirt . He was running a towel through his hair and his face brightened at the sight of me. 

“Yang Mi! You’re here....” He said cheerfully. 

“Good morning sir.” I said softly, offering him a small smile. 

He smiled brightly, hair damp and dimples deep. The white t shirt he had on was almost fully soaked through and he shook his head, sending stray water droplets all over the place, a few landing on my cheeks. 

“I didn’t see you last night...” He said casually, moving to drop the wet towel in the hamper, grabbing one of the fresh ones I’d laid on the bed. 

“I thought you would like your privacy sir, you looked exhausted.” 

He smiled.

“ Thank you for the blanket and the pillow by the way. And the shoes.” 

I bowed quickly.

“I’ll get your breakfast done, sir.” I bowed again before quickly getting out. 

I moved to the kitchen grabbing the oranges I’d got the previous day . Mr. Kim wasn’t fond of traditional korean dishes in the morning. He preferred freshly squeezed juice and toast, sometimes with an omelet perhaps. 

I fixed his breakfast quickly, setting it all in the tray . He was still moving around in the bedroom and I heard him drag his worktable to the windows, which meant he was going to stay in the bedroom. 

Pouring his coffee into a cup, I carefully picked up the breakfast tray , moving to his room slowly. 

I used my foot to knock on the door.

After a pause of a few seconds, 

“Come in Yang Mi!”

I carefully moved to the small table in front of the couch, placing the tray right in front of him. The scent of his body wash, green apple and strawberries, hit me hard. 

“Where’s Junsu?” He asked casually.

“Still asleep sir. It’s Summer so school’s out.” I smiled, grabbing his phone from the table to make space for his tray. 

The phone buzzed just as I was about to place it back down and I blinked.

 Mina calling.......

 I swallowed, not sure what to do, placing the phone down quickly.

“Uh..you have ...” I waved vaguely at the device before bowing again and moving back. 

“close the door on your way out, Yang Mi...” He said gently and I quickly obeyed. 

I moved to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee for myself. I stayed leaning over the counter and even through the locked door, I could hear him . 

“Just don’t call me Mina...i don’t want to talk about this!!!” 

I swallowed, glancing out of the window again. It was a bright, clear morning. 

A second later, the door to his bedroom slammed open and he stormed out. I watched him from my spot in the kitchen, his fists clenched as he rushed out to the front door.

The door shut behind him and I exhaled. 

Once I as done with my coffee, I moved to his room to clear the breakfast tray. His phone was still on the table.

It began ringing again just as I left the room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mrs. Kim.” i said respectfully, bowing . She gave me a short smile.

“Where’s Namjoon? I’ve been calling him for the past hour.” She pushed past me into the house and I bit my lips.

“He went out about an hour ago. He left his phone behind.” I explained.

She stopped, sighing. 

“Fine, I’ll wait for him. “ She moved to sit on the couch, glancing around the room. 

“Should I get you something ma'am?” I asked softly and she smiled.

“Get me a glass of lemonade, Yangmi.” She said brusquely and i nodded, running to the kitchen. 

“Did Mina come over?” She called out as I got the lemons out of the cooler.

“No ma'am.” i replied.

“Did she call?” 

  I remembered the phone ringing, how upset it had made Namjoon, how he had stormed out.

“I don’t know ma'am!” I said softly. 

She nodded.

“Okay. You can leave.” She said quietly. i bowed and went back into the kitchen. 

I peered out of the window as I fixed her a glass , and my eyes fell on a familiar figure, coming back in through the front gate. Even from this distance there was no mistaking the long legs and messy blonde hair. 

I bit my lips, mind racing.

 Mrs Kim and her son had a volatile relationship, to say the least. 

And something told me that Mr. Kim was probably not in the right frame of mind to argue with his mother, now. The man was upset but apparently, neither his mother nor his ex fiancée understood that. instead of giving him space they were hounding him. 

I hesitated for a second  before making a quick decision. 

I grabbed the tray with her lemonade and moved to her quickly.

“Thank you.” She said sharply. “ Turn on the Air Conditioner for me, will you?” 

I fumbled with the remote, grabbing his phone from the table , turning it on before moving to the front door and rushing out. 

I almost ran into him as he came out of the elevator , and i jerked back stumbling a bit to stop myself from crashing into his chest. He let out a , ‘ Whoa, “  his hands reaching out to grip my elbows. 

“Careful. What’s wrong?” He asked gently and I swallowed.

“Your mother’s here.” I said quickly, “ Sir.” 

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned. I swallowed.

“You can leave.” I blurted out. “It’s Tuesday. She has her charity work meeting at ten. Its almost nine. She won’t stay long....” 

His eyes met mine, lips parting in surprise. 

“I really can’t meet her now.” He said apologetically.

I nodded.

“Of course, I understand , sir. Just be back in an hour , she’ll be go-”

The elevator buzzed , the doors nearly closing over my shoulders and I flinched. He swore and stuck his arm out to keep it open. 

I stared at him before holding his phone out.

“Here you go sir. “ 

He chuckled taking it from me and shaking his head.

“i feel like a kid, sneaking away from my mom.” His eyes reached mine, twinkling, “ Who would’ve thought the quiet, timid Yang Mi would be my partner in crime. “ 

I didn’t reply, just smiled. 

And then he hesitated. “ Is Junsu awake?”

I blinked.

“Uh...yes sir,...he’s playing in the park downstairs with the other kids.”

“Great... Would you mind if i take him out for ice cream?”

I stared at him. 

“Oh..uh...of course not. Sure.. I mean.. he’ll love that... Sir. Thank you.. You don’t have to -”

“Consider it thank you for helping me with my mother.” He smiled again and i found myself staring at his dimples again. i swallowed. 

“in that case, he loves butter scotch.” I smiled. 

The dimples appeared and i bit my lips. 

“Thank you Yang Mi.” He said slowly. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Finally a hyungline fic !!! ugh... I’ve been wanting to write a Namjoon fic for ages and I really hope you guys will like this one :’( Feedback is much appreciated. 

[yeojaa]

NOT YOUR FAIRYTALE - ft. myg

What do you do when you've called your wedding off but forgot to cancel your cake tastings? Why, you ask your brother's grouchy best friend, of course. 

pairing.  min yoongi.  sort of.

genre + rating.  fluff-adjacent.  general.

warning / tags.  mentions of infidelity, cake tasting, cake tasting isn’t a euphemism, fluff and hurt/comfort, alternate universe, alternate universe - modern setting, friendship, friendship/love, childhood friends.

reading.   n/a.  a stand-alone three part one-shot.

word count.  ~3550

chapter ii.

You know he doesn’t mean it unkindly but you can’t help the way your heart sinks like a stone, the jewel of the ocean lost to the Marianas Trench.  It clenches pathetically in the pit of your stomach, squeezing painfully in a way that only he can elicit from you.

Because even a decade later - after countless distractions and even an engagement - you still carry some childish crush for him, hold a torch that somehow hasn’t gone out.  It still burns, embers of a rampant wildfire doused by heavy rain, smouldering under a blanket of ash and misery.  

“Oh.”  

The single syllable squeaks past the cage of your teeth - a willy rabbit disappearing beneath the underbrush - and morphs into a cough on the back of your hand.  You can feel the warmth already creeping across your cheeks, bathing apples in the colour of their namesake.  You don’t miss the way Yoongi watches you, closely as ever and yet in a way you can’t quite place.  It sweeps through the amber of his irises and disappears into the depths of his pupils;  you want to chase after it, coax it out from its hiding spot, but don’t.  

Instead, you fist your free hand between your knees and manoeuvre another forkful of vanilla cake past the delicate fortress of your lips.  Weakened, now, because they feel feeble and you’re half-worried you’re going to say something you shouldn’t.  That the words are going to tumble right off a stone wall and not survive the drop.

After all, you and your brother had a penchant for doing so.  Namjoon, for spilling secrets about surprise birthday parties and Mother’s Day gifts.  You, for waxing poetic about the ways you’ve dreamt of Min Yoongi throughout the years.

“Disappointed?”  He drawls finally.  It stops you from tearing apart the carefully constricted wooden box that you’ve kept those emotions locked in, little splinters cast below your nail beds – a reminder of hey, stop that.

“Of course not,”  you answer, voice a little reedy, too focused on denial to sound quite normal.  

He laughs then and the sound has your face burning, flames licking over your nose in the same instance his lips curl, revealing pink gums and bidding eyes to thin into amused crescents.  The joy that radiates off him in waves, pours from his pores like bioluminescence at shore, makes you scowl.  

It suddenly all feels very reminiscent of your adolescence.  Of callow teasing and baited breaths, his name scrawled into the margins of your maths homework.

“Stop that!”  You’re waving your fork at him.  It’s meant to be menacing but only makes him laugh harder, shoulders rolling beneath the soft cotton layers that keep him wrapped away.  When he doesn’t stop, you opt to shovel another bite of cake into your mouth, noticing with deep satisfaction that the slice is almost gone and Yoongi hasn’t even had a bite.

You’re going for the last corner when the tines of his fork collide with yours.  So he had noticed.

He meets your stare with barely concealed disapproval, aggressively shoving your own utensil off the plate with a nonchalant flick of his wrist.  “Greedy,”  he says, mouth full of reproach and then, a moment later, citrus and sugar.

“You already knew that.”  And now it’s your turn to turn water to wine, words full of playful reproach that makes him shake his head yet remain decidedly silent.  

It wasn’t as if he could dispute that – not when he’d quite literally spoken the words himself.

So he takes his loss in stride, a gracious loser as you stack the now empty plate with another.  “Go ahead,”  you offer, like some benevolent leader.  

“Oh, thanks.”  The sardonic twist of his words doesn’t go unnoticed and you both roll your eyes, almost in tandem.  Your brother sometimes wondered where you’d gotten your dry wit from, the derisive streak that was at complete odds with every other part of your rainbows and lollipops – his words, not yours – personality.  But here and now, it was easy to see.

It sprouts between your teeth in shades of muted greys and muddy greens, sowed by a one Min Yoongi and cared for by your tender green thumb.

“How is it?”  You ask, chin palmed by a small hand.  The consequences of devouring that last cake are making themselves known, turning your stomach with its weight.

He must notice the way you don’t go for another bite because he’s speaking around a short laugh, the exchange getting lost in how the sound bounces around in your ears and stirs that same childish embarrassment.  “Karma.”  But he doesn’t seem particularly bothered, proverbial feathers unruffled in a way that is very distinctly him.  “It’s good. Really rich.”  Utensil gestures in the same motion his chin does - an unspoken invitation.

You don’t need to be told twice;  you loved sweets, would choose dessert over dinner nine times out of ten.

“Soooo rich!”  The flavour melts across your tongue, drenching every taste bud in cocoa, and you can’t help but hum in delight.  “I think this is my favourite.”  As if that means anything - as if that really matters.

That unreadable expression has found its way onto his face again, slapped neatly upon his features like a mask.  You try not to focus on it, taking another bite as you chew thoughtfully, gaze focused on a freckle in the birch wood grain of the tabletop.

“Last one,”  he muses and you wonder if it’s wistfulness you hear in his voice or if you’re somehow still that love-struck teenager you’ve always been, projecting a decade’s worth of emotion on the poor man.

It’s surely the latter.

“Go ahead.”  Verbatim, in that same sardonic tone you’d used on him, saccharine sweetness threading every syllable as if the sugar particles might turn it into something more palatable.  He's even got that little smirk of his, mouth quirked high over pink gums.  You want to roll your eyes - and do, with an exaggerated jut of your chin and a simpering smile.  

By the look on his face, he must be proud.  He'd instilled all of this in you - the spice softening the everything nice.

The tines of your fork sink easily into the dense, moist cake, gathering a generous helping of pristine white frosting and golden crumb.  You've never been the biggest fan of carrot cake - why would you want veggies in your dessert, you'd joke - but you think if every cake tasted like this, you wouldn't have a problem.  

"I think I'm a believer."  You're faux solemnity, features arranged in a straight line that causes Yoongi's own to split, amusement shining in between the fractures.  

"A believer in what?"

"Carrots.  Carrot cake.  Vegetables."  Spoken as if you didn't inhale green smoothies religiously.  

You appreciate that he plays along.  It's not very Yoongi-like but it's nice, a callback to the days when he'd indulge your naiveté.  "Unbelievable.  You're a disgrace to this family.  Namjoon is officially the better sibling."

Fingers fly to your throat.  You're scandalized, gaping at him as if he's suddenly grown a second head or admitted he's a wizard.  "You mean he wasn't before?  I took that top spot?"  You're not quite sure whether you're joking, the question rolling off your tongue with more hope than you'd meant. 

"No, Moni's the best.  Obviously."  Okay, you deserved that.  You can't really bring yourself to do anything but laugh, the sound twinkling bells.

"I'm telling Joon you said that."  

"He knows where you all stand."  The way he says it sparks curiosity, colourful fireworks illuminating your thoughts as you study him.  It shouldn't, but it does.  You think you can see something hidden there, buried treasure beyond the slope of his mouth and beneath the crags of his teeth.  It calls to you like a stark X on your map.

Another bite is thoughtfully chewed, flavours turning over on your tongue.  You're trying to find your words as icing melts, coating every inch in sugar.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

By the tick of his stare - the subtle tension at the corners - you think you've overstepped.  You recognize that expression well enough.  You'd become intimately familiar with it through the years.  Despite that, it seems you haven't learnt your lesson, repeating yourself when Yoongi's silence - and patience, you're sure - stretches thin.  You can practically see it, pulled taut between his teeth and in his brow.  

It's clear as day that this conversation is over.

So why you're still so intent on a reaction, you're not sure.  Maybe because this is the first time you've spent an extended period of time alone with him in what feels like years and it’s strange - akin to your first high school dance.  Awkward, forced, filled with promise but ultimately disappointing.

You wonder whether he can feel it too and if that means he regrets coming here.  You hope not.

“Sorry.”  It comes with all the lightness you can muster, sunshine filtered through eyelet cotton.  You offer a smile - full dimples and wrinkles at the corner of your eyes.  “You can keep your secrets, Min Yoongi.”

By the way he stares at you - levels you with just one look - you know he sees the effort.  It’s clear as day and he almost laughs, the sound bubbling quietly beneath the surface.

You were never good at doing things with any semblance of inconspicuousness - it simply wasn’t in your blood.  You wore your emotions on your sleeves, heart pinned neatly across your chest in neon pink.  It was both endearing and frustrating but you wouldn’t change it for the world.  It made you who you were.

“One day, I’ll tell you,”  Yoongi muses in a bemused tone that isn’t very convincing, lopsided grin of his own softening his features further.

“No, you won’t.”  And that’s fine.  You don’t mind, not really.

He laughs once but it’s enough.  “You’re right.”

The silence that finds a home between you now isn’t awkward.  If you weren’t so used to this give and take, you might’ve had whiplash.  

Instead, it’s made from years of friendship and shaped to fit between your cracks and crevices, filling the spaces between you with comfort.  It’s a nice reminder that despite everything, you can always come back to this.  That he’ll always be in your corner.

You try to express your gratitude in the way you speak, earnest as ever.  “Thank you for coming, Yoongi.”

Whatever he’s about to say is stolen by a new presence.

Petite - smaller than either of you, with full cheeks and a sweetly upturned nose - the woman offers a smile that fills you with warmth.  It reminds you of your mother’s, all crow’s feet and deep dimples.  There are stains on her apron, the sleeves of her pristine white coat pushed to her elbows.

“Did you enjoy the cakes?”  Her voice is rough but kind, rolling over syllables with an accent you can’t quite place.

“They were incredible!”  You’re quick to answer, gesturing to the free seat opposite you.  “Did you make them?  I wish I could do what you do!  I’ve never had a carrot cake so moist - or light!  And the chocolate— wow!”

You can practically hear Yoongi rolling his eyes beside you, because you’re rambling in your nervousness.

The woman laughs, sliding onto the stool with a little hop.  “Yes, that was me.  I’m glad you enjoyed.  My name is Celeste.”  Her handshake is firm, confident.  Despite the no nonsense tone she takes, her smile never falters.  It brings back memories of your favourite professors - full of guidance and wisdom and occasionally, tough love.  “Let’s talk a bit about you two.”

“Oh, us?”  The question stutters past your lips.  You hadn’t expected that.

“We like to understand the happy couple so we can better personalize our service.”  Another chuckle and her chin jerks toward where Siyeon mans the front desk.  “Did she not include that in her spiel?”

“Oh, no. She was great! I just—!”

Yoongi can sense you’re about to run the train right off the tracks and into a canyon.  It’s written into every inch of your face, the way your hand clenches at your side.

“What did you want to know?”  Control is taken seamlessly, both by words and touch.  His fingers curl experimentally around your balled fist, thumb ghosting easily across the back of yours.  He squeezes once and shakes gently - just enough to jostle the tension from your limbs but not enough to call attention to the movement.

“Anything you think is important.  How did you meet?"

You’re certain this is a standard question she asks regularly.  It doesn’t help the erratic beating of your heart.

“She’s my best friend’s little sister.”  This earns a laugh from Celeste, the sound bouncing off the table and into your ears.

“Wow!”  Arms cross over her diminutive frame and she studies the two of you with a glint in her eyes.  “And how's that?”  It feels like being interrogated by your halmoni - embarrassing and a little familial.  You wish you could find your voice.  You were great with grandparents.

“I never meant to fall for her.”

The words mean nothing - it’s all for show - and yet you very clearly note the moment you quit breathing.  How your lungs stop working, shuddering to a stop.  It’s in direct contrast to the way your heart triples in pace, nearly sending you into cardiac arrest.

“But you spend enough time with someone - and in my case, their annoying little sister - and it just happens.  You can’t really help it.”  His laugh sounds strange to your ears.  “At least I couldn’t.”

Across the table, Celeste’s face is inscrutable, her gaze trained on Yoongi’s. You feel almost invisible - or would, if you weren’t so keenly aware of the fact that he’s still holding your hand.  It's the only thing anchoring you to the here and now, a shackle looped neatly around bone to keep you from floating off into the great unknown.

"That's very sweet."  She says it plainly, like she's commenting on the weather or the colour of the sky.  There's no indication she sees through the carefully crafted facade the two of you have built.  You wonder if your - no, his - acting skills are just that good or if she's doing it for your benefit.  Surely she can see the tension in your posture, how you're ready to burst apart at the seams at a moment's notice.

"I think so, too."  You don't think you've ever heard him the way he is now, honey sweet and miles away from boy you grew up with.  His voice is decidedly soft, none of the usual grit coating the edges.  There's no storm just beyond the horizon; he's only calm blue as far as the eye can see.  "But she'd probably say differently."  

It seems your silence has carried on too long for his liking.  He nudges you above the table, a heart-wrenching smile drawing you back.  Somehow, despite his efforts to calm you - because that's what he's doing, with this grin he very rarely lets see the light of day and repetitive brush of his thumb - your nerves are lit up like a Christmas tree.  You think they must be flashing beneath your skin - a string of lights gone haywire.

"Right?"  A subtle widening of his eyes is enough.  You need to get it together, girl.

You echo him, laughter chasing syllables from behind your molars and into the open.  "Right."

Celeste's gaze bounces between the two of you, barely concealed amusement folded into the corner of her stare, the way her mouth purses into a wall she hides her laughter behind.  "You two are so sweet."

Well, you certainly hadn't expected that.  

"Really?"  It leaps forward before you have a chance to stop it, dragging roses over your cheeks.  The next words tumble out in quick succession, coming of their own volition.  You wish they hadn't.  "I never thought I'd see the day someone called him that."

The subtle flex of his fingers reminds you that you're still interlocked, intimately joined by twined fingers and white knuckles.  

"Well, he's sweet on you and that's all that matters!"  

"Exactly."  Yoongi is haughty and it looks good on him, framing his features and throwing them into a light you've only ever seen in the studio or on the basketball court.  "Don't forget that."  You think he might stick out his tongue - know he won't, but can almost imagine the expression.  It would fit the playfulness that you so rarely see, puzzle pieces filling in the spaces usually reserved for stoicism and austerity.

"Already forgot,"  you return, a little brighter than you mean to, with sunlight in your smile and stars in your eyes.  You can't help it.  Any minute, you might wake up from this strange wonderful daydream so you bask in it, a cat in a windowsill, long-limbed and at peace.

"Like I said—sweet."  There's a fondness in Celeste's eyes and you can't help but hold her stare as she continues on, undeterred by the world you seem so lost in.  "Are you looking for a traditional wedding cake?  What's your style?"

"We prefer understated."  You don't miss the way he speaks for the both of you or that he does so with such confidence.  The fact settles comfortably in the lining of your coat, tucking itself into the pocket over your heart.  You know you'll hold onto this for longer than you should.  "Nothing extravagant but something that clearly took a lot of care and work."

"He means no seven-tiered cake with sugar flowers and live doves,"  you supply helpfully, with glee you can't contain.  It forces itself to the forefront of your smile, displayed in blinding white enamel and gloss-slicked lips.  

"I'd take six-tiered with dead doves."

His deadpan rebuttal meets laughter - both yours and Celeste's.  He might just win Mister Congeniality with this performance of his.  

"What're your wedding colours?  Do you have any photos?"  That stops you sort.  

You blink once, twice, trying to remember the palette you'd decided on before your fairytale had come crumbling down, a castle made of sand at high tide.  It sparks pain from the tip of your nose to the soles of your feet and you reflexively flex your fingers, knuckles stark alabaster at the bitterness that sours your tongue.  

"We didn't even think of that."  Again, your knight in shining armour, refocusing the conversation when you most need it.  Yoongi chuckles but you see the tension in his eyes, how it lurks beneath the surface.  "Could we send some over later?"

"Of course!"  If Celeste notices the change in atmosphere, she keeps it to herself.  "Why don't you just send Siyeon anything you might have for reference and we can go from there.  I know being put on the spot can be hard sometimes."  There's an undercurrent of understanding, kindness cradling each word.  You wonder if you've blown your cover wide open - if there's a bright red FRAUD stamp across your forehead.  "Wedding planning is stressful, so take your time.  If we need anything pressing, we'll reach out."

You're echoing Yoongi's thanks, not quite processing that your meeting has come to an end.  If you really thought about it, you might feel bad - guilty for wasting their time.  Instead, you let yourself be guided from your seat by a warm hand at your back.  

"You two take care now."  She ushers you to the door with wide, wise eyes and a little smile.  "It was lovely meeting you."

Both you and your pretend partner bow, bidding thanks and farewell as the woman disappears back the way she came, imposing double doors swinging shut behind her.  Her departure feels like a weight has lifted off your shoulders, carried into the late afternoon sky that stretches above your heads.  You release the breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding and meet Yoongi's expectant gaze.  

"What?"

"Nothing."  You can tell he isn't going to give an inch.  He's back to being the Min Yoongi you know.

"Fine.  Thank you."  

"You already said that."

The scowl you level him with is impressive.  He must be proud by the way his mouth twitches, corners of his lips quirking just enough to belie his pleasure.  "And I meant it!"

It's the reaction he's expecting - easily baited with just the smallest ounce of antagonism.  Rather than respond, he snickers, nose scrunching characteristically.  

"Stop laughing at me!"  You half-whine, sneaker-clad foot stomping on the ground before you can help it.

"You make it too easy,"  he drawls, shaking his head as the two of you continue down the sidewalk.  "Everything I do riles you up.  Learn to control your emotions."  As if it's that easy.  As if you were the sort of person to bottle any of it up.  He knows you aren't;  he's only working you up again.  

"At least I have them, Yoongi!"  It's a low blow, a shot meant to surprise and silence him.  You don't really mean it.

And yet it's you that's left staggered - because you've never seen that mixture of emotion on his face before.  A combination of hurt and frustration painting shadows across his cheeks.

What had you done?

notes.  this was meant to be two parts but now it will be three.  oops.  

tag list.  @hoodmeup

[boymeetsweevil]

Masterlist

who says i love you first

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, 1336w Your tiny existential crisis + Namjoon during bedtime

welcome to my channel (KNJ)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 659w “5k Sub! Unisex Brow Grooming Tutorial feat. Joon :)”

baby genius**

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, ~2300w “In which you’re very smart and Namjoon has a tiny garter belt fetish”

dead man sells no toes**

Witch!Reader, Halloweentown AU, ~5200w “Your thoughts have a mind of their own when it comes to the cute delivery human with the mysterious tattoos”

call me maybe*

Idol-AU (kinda), club meet-cute AU, ~6600w

At first you were just trying to get some free drinks out of some guy at the bar, but then it becomes a lot more

warm fuzzies*

Non-Idol AU, slice of life, ~6200w “In which Jjangu AND his owner, Kim Seokjin, fall for you”

welcome to my channel (KSJ)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 1208w “Dyeing @Eat_Jin ‘s hair and avocado mask DIY :)))”

hell’s kitchen

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, ‘crack’, ~2200w “It’s Jin’s birthday and it’s a hot ass mess because you can’t keep a secret”

and wrapped your arms around my neck** (req)

established relationship AU, part vampire!Seokjin, pwp, ~2000w “Vamp!Jin if you squint and then close your eyes entirely, this is 90% just sex yall”

punch drunk love*

Non-Idol AU, friends to lovers, 1742w Emotional constipation means sometimes you have to beat emotions out. Or, in this case, finger-flick them out.

welcome to my channel (MYG)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 626w “New M.A.C lip tints feat. my roommate :)”

the min booty diaries** (req) - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Idol AU, body/self-esteem issues

“Join Min Yoongi on his journey to becoming an ass man OR ~5 instances in which Yoongi realized he had a serious thing for your ass”

ode to wine

Idol AU, establised relationship AU, 900w

“A moment alone with Yoongi after the award show has come and gone”

off the deep end**

Mermaid!Yoongi, College AU, interspecies canoodling, a bit angsty, ~17,500w

“Your new mermaid friend, Yoongi, helps you navigate the treacherous waters of love, sex, and National Geographic.”

bump and grind*

Idol AU, BH employee!Reader, ~3000w

“If someone told you that months after getting hired by BigHit to translate and subtitle VLive videos you would be at an idol’s birthday party with your ass pressed firmly against Jung Hoseok’s crotch, you wouldn’t have believed them.”

welcome to my channel (JHS)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 1164w

“Unisex nail care routine feat. Hobi and red wine ;)”

who’s your favorite**

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, misbehaving in a Chili’s, ~1400w

“If you ask the man himself, it takes a half a year of going to a shitty family restaurant after work on Fridays for Hoseok to become your favorite. In reality, though, he just didn’t get the joke. OR

‘I give you dick. Good dick!’”

cover you in constellations

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, 987w

“Happy birthday to Jung Hoseok, the most beautiful”

hoping for the best**

Non-Idol AU, Lifeguards!Reader and Hoseok, friends to enemies to friends to lovers, ~24,300w

“He knows you two are linked though. You must know it too. It’s impossible to deny when you both reach climax at the same time during your first time, the breath leaving him like you knocked it out and your eyes rolling into the back of your head like he scratched stars there for only you to see.”

sleeping bags (and other unconventional cures for insomnia) (req)

Non-Idol AU, College AU, enemies to more than friends, ~2500w

Based off the prompt “snowed in with your enemy at a ski resort”

watch yourself**

Non-Idol AU, Dressing room Attendant!Hoseok, exhibitionist!Hoseok, ~7770w

“It starts with an invitation from your ex. It ends with Hoseok’s hands down your pants in said ex’s kitchen”

mistletoe

Non-Idol AU, friends to lovers, Christmas AU?, ~3300w

“Jimin just can’t seem to get a moment alone with you at this christmas party, and you just can’t seem to stop baking…”

welcome to my channel (PJM)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 1093w

“Drugstore Haul plus mini Sephora Haul and Surprise :)”

blue, not blanc** (req)

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, pwp, ~4500w

Based off the prompt: ‘can u do a jimin smut where he has a thing for panties’

me, you, and this thing we have between us** (req)

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, pwp, ~3700w

You’re pregnant and jimin is…happy about it

slippery slopes ahead** (req)

Non-Idol AU, College AU, established relationship AU, pwp, ~6600w

“‘Look at you,’ he coos. ‘All this time I thought you were shy.’”

childhood bestie (bullet)

Non-Idol Au, Childhood Besties!Reader and Taehyung, 943w

what it would be like if you and taehyung’s moms were bffs, so you and taehyung were bffs from birth

welcome to my channel (KTH)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 667w

“Using Tom Ford Luna highlighters on my neighbor ;)”

a day in the life

Non-Idol AU, College AU, Roommates!Reader and Taehyung, slice of life, ~1900w

“A typical day living with Kim Taehyung consists of constant fights for the blanket and watching him steal your crop tops”

cougar** - 1, 2

Non-Idol AU, College AU, (slightly) Older!Reader, ~1400w + ~4700w

“…guys like him give off two very conflicting vibes. The first says ‘Wow, look at this handsome young man, I hope my kids are that beautiful’. The second says, ‘Wow, I want to have his kids’”

hectic halloween

Non-Idol AU, College AU, Best friends!Reader and Taehyung, language, ~1400w

Tae invites you to a Playboy™️ themed halloween party and a wardrobe malfuction of sorts occurs.

breathe you in** (req)

Popstar!Reader, Non-Idol!Taehyung, exes to lovers, ~7800w

Based on the prompt: Can I pls request an ex lovers trope with taehyung where you broke up with him , but he shows you he loves you and was never over you and wants to be together again? Thanks!

(welcome to) camp lonely heart**

Camp Counselors!Reader and Taehyung, fun with walkie talkies, friends to lovers, ~15,600w

It’s possible to find love in all sorts of places: In bars, in school, on apps. But what about through a walkie talkie?

heat index**

Non-Idol AU, established relationship AU, pwp, 2700w

“The town being in a heat wave puts Tae’s in a bit of a love drought. But even still, he makes do and (kind of) does you”

blood of the covenant* (to be rebooted) - 1, 2

Vampire!Reader, Human!Jungkook, College AU, Post-Apocalyptic(?) AU, 3476w+ ~3700w

“You’re an unregistered vampire trying your hardest to save up enough to go to school by working long hours and giving up meals. Unfortunately, the local university refuses to enroll starving vampires like yourself because they’re seen as threats. Desperate to get in, you take up Jeon Jungkook’s shady offer to help”

welcome to my channel (JJK)

Non-Idol AU, Youtuber!Reader, 1038w

“Cutting Men’s hair and talking about life feat. Kook :)”

blind!reader* (req)

Non-Idol AU, Blind!Reader, College AU, 4422w

Based off the prompt: Hi! I have a bts request! so the "prompt" is y/n were love at first sight for him, but y/n's life motto is "love is blind" because y/n is actually blind. this is just for fun, but I'd really like to read your take on it!! you can pick any of the boys. :)

for science**

Non-Idol AU, College AU, Nerd!Jungkook, very dramatic 

“Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.”

The most magical place in hell (req)

Takes place somewhere after the events of FS, the gang goes on vacation...

bts as types of drunks

Non-Idol AU (?), the chaotic seven, 2073w

the seven chaotic drunks™️ embodied

bts as types of (weird) babies in your daycare

Pre-school teacher!Reader, Babies!BTS, 4610w

the seven chaotic babies™️ embodied

bts as types of boyfriends

Non-Idol AU (?), the chaotic seven, ~3295w

the seven chaotic boyfriends™️ embodied

sweetstupid moments with bts

Non-Idol AU (?), the chaotic seven, ~2054w

More boyfriend shenanigans

sleepovers with sleepy bts

Non-Idol AU (?), the chaotic seven, ~2109w

Even more boyfriend shenanigans

SS series (under construction)

* = suggestive, ~nsfw ** = smut, NSFW (req) = requested

and then there were two** (req)

Non-Idol AU, College AU, established relationship AU, ~3480w

Based on the prompt: “what do u think abt college bf mark and awkward and fumbling first time”

Sequel: and then there were finals**(req), 2k

Based on the prompt: “mark lee from nct! college au and NSFW. finding time in between studying for finals.”

in your court (req)

Non-Idol AU, College AU, clueless crushes and matchmaking, ~10,900w

Based on the prompt: “what about ,, bff!haechan trying to set taeil and his awkward ass up with oc Or awkward!oc with his basketball teammate jaehyun. Honestly anything with bff!haechan.”

binary stars (req)

Non-Idol AU, College AU, friends to lovers, ~8,400w

love sometimes takes the form of gravity

Based on the prompt: “bff!hyuck + friends to lovers. college au and slightly nsfw or however nsfw u wanna make it”

the shape you make**

Non-Idol AU, Halloweentown AU, ~4,100w

“For both you and Johnny, there is something big holding you back from being intimate. At the yearly Harvest party, that something big becomes something known.”

Part of the Intimacy Anthology Project!

* = suggestive, ~nsfw ** = smut, NSFW (req) = requested

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (Epilogue 2)

Epilogue 2

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20, ch 21, ch 22, ch 23, epilogue, epilogue 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,053

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

Jungkook was waiting for her outside the building, a rose in his hand. Catalina’s nose scrunched into a smile as she skipped down the stone steps.

France was overwhelming; the architecture everywhere was ancient and beautiful, and the history was fascinating and rich. The people were a bit rude, especially once they realized they were Americans. They were only a bit more forgiving when Namjoon, Taehyung, and Yoongi showed off their fluent French.

The theater Catalina had her audition in was stunning. The outside was all white columns and friezes, the inside was mosaic tiled floors and painted ceilings.

               When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she dropped her dance bag and threw herself into Jungkook’s arms.

               “You got me a rose?” she asked, leaning back just enough to look at the rose in his hand.

               “Of course I got you a rose,” he said. “You think I’d let you step out of an audition without a rose?”  

               Catalina giggled and took the flower from him.

               “How did it go? Did you get in?” he asked.

               “I don’t know yet,” said Catalina. “They’re going to do callbacks in a few days.”

               “Good thing we’re staying for a while,” said Jungkook.

               “But honestly, it doesn’t matter if I get in or not,” said Catalina. “There’s always next year. And There’s always plenty of shows.”

               “Yeah, you have all the time in the world,” said Jungkook. He stared at her for a moment, then whispered, “I want you to turn me.”

               “Oh yeah?” Catalina asked. She had been waiting for this. She knew that he was worried about aging without her, she could see it his eyes sometimes when they went to bed together, knowing she wouldn’t fall asleep. She especially saw it on his birthday. “You’re still young.”

               “I know, but I’m already the same age as you now,” he said.

               “Oh no! You’re the same age as me! You basically have one foot in the grave already!” Catalina giggled.  “You should take your time. You get hotter every year. Let yourself ripen a bit before doing this.”

               He laughed loudly and tugged her closer.

               “That’s true,” he said.

               “Wait until we both graduate,” said Catalina. “We can talk then.”

               “You’re pulling an Edward on me?” he said. “Next thing I know, it’ll be, ‘wait until we’re married’.”

               Catalina giggled and swatted his arm. “You’re being a baby.”

               “I know. I’m kidding,” he said. “I can wait.”

               “Besides, we need time to explore the wonders of blood drinking during sex,” she said. “Did you know there’s aphrodisiacs in the venom when you drink from someone? It’s supposed to make them pliant, but it doesn’t turn them into a vampire.”

               “That sounds hot,” said Jungkook. “Also, I am a fan of being manhandled. I’m not ready for that to end just yet.”

               “I know. We might need a chaperone though,” she said, tapping her chin. “I don’t know if I’d be able to stop once I got started. You smell way too good.”

               “We have plenty of time to work out the specifics,” said Jungkook. “I need time to get hotter each year, so we’ll figure it out.”

               They both laughed as they went to the car waiting for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~

               Taehyung loved the Louvre. It was like a dream come true, wandering the unending corridors, seeing all the classics he’s idolized for hundreds of years.

               “Taehyungie, what’s this one called?” Jimin asked. His hand was covering the informational plaque under a series of paintings depicting a man looking at a celestial globe. Jimin had been doing this for hours, but Taehyung didn’t mind. He loved sharing what he knew about all his favorite pieces.

               “That’s ‘The Astronomer’, by Vermeer,” said Taehyung. Jimin smiled and strolled ahead down the corridor, in search of his next quiz. It was a weekday, so the museum wasn’t very busy. There was a tour group of young students, which Taehyung and Jimin ran into a few times, but otherwise there were only a few stray artists wandering around doing sketches of the statues.

               In the back of his mind, Taehyung knew that the rest of their group was supposed to meet them here at some point, but Taehyung and Jimin were so far into the maze of art that he wouldn’t even know how to direct them once they arrived. He wasn’t worried about it either. He was having too much fun with Jimin to care about the others right now.

               Every moment spent with Jimin was special to him. He still couldn’t believe sometimes how quickly Jimin had reassured and forgiven Taehyung; he was so sure Jimin would hate him for making that decision for him. And while Jimin was struggling getting used to his new life, he made it clear that he was thankful to be alive, that he was excited to spend forever with Taehyung.

               “What about this one?” Jimin asked. Taehyung strolled over to look at what painting Jimin was at.

               “‘St. Michael Vanquishing Satan’,” said Taehyung. “Raphael.”

               Jimin continued down the hall, eyes flitting across each painting. Taehyung was most excited to see David; he heard that the statue was way bigger in person than one would expect.

               Taehyung stopped. The painting he was looking at made his eyes widen and his mouth fall open. The plaque said that the artist was unknown. Jimin must have noticed that Taehyung had stopped moving, because he wandered over, letting out a gasp when he saw the painting.

               They didn’t say anything for a while. The school group wandered past behind them, the children’s voices bouncing off the stone walls.

               “Hey, that guy looks just like you!” a voice shouted from behind them. Jimin turned around to talk with the girl, who was pointing at Taehyung. Taehyung didn’t take his eyes off the picture though. He felt a tear roll down his face.

               “Can I take a picture of you with that painting?” the little girl asked. Taehyung wiped the tear from his cheek and nodded, turning around to face the girl. She lifted her phone and snapped a picture. She gave them a toothy smile before running to catch up with her classmates.

               “Is this Adrianna’s work?” Jimin asked. Taehyung nodded. He turned back around to stare at the painting of himself with his dog.

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A/N:

And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone reading this and sticking with me during this story. Reading the comments was my favorite part of this journey. 

This story is officially novel length! I’ve never accomplished that before with a complete work! I’ll be posting this story on Wattpad, and I’m also thinking of changing names and adding scenes to make this a publishable work, so keep your eyes out for updates on that!