#Nik's 1K Celebration

[igotanidea]

The love of rain : Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Request submitted as a part of my 1k celebration: Rain and Nikolai (thank you anon!)

Warning: some spice, but nothing explicit, apart from that just fluff

***

The weather in Ravka was whimsical, to say the least.

One day there was sun and clear sky and the other the habitants had to deal with fog or storm or rain. And most of them did not like when it was wet and dark outside, cause it was clear sign that they would be stuck at the little palace for longer than anyone would wish for. It was particularly painful for squallers and tidemakers, the rest were complaining but found their way to deal with it. Of course, it was possible to just use the Grisha power and dissipate the clouds, but nature was nature and there were still rules to stick by, one of them saying that Etherealki were not supposed to mess with it more than necessary.

However, there is always an exception to the rule, or at least they say so.

“Ugh!” Zoya grunted upon noticing the first drops on the ground “I can’t believe it! Why can’t we just make those clouds go away? I can do this.”

“Zoya” Nadia put a hand on her shoulder “you know we are not supposed to do that. King’s orders.”

“Well, someone should knock some sense into Nikolai’s head” the brunette scoffed, raising her hands, ready to call upon the wind “I need training. I want to train and I am not going to stop just because….”

“Surely you are not going to disobey, right?” Adrik came out of nowhere and chimed in “you are a soldier, you have to be obedient.” He reminded her and it made her sigh deeply in frustration.

“I hate it.”

“Yes, we heard you loud and clear, now come on, we have to find shelter before we get drenched.”

And just like that, all the Grisha assembled on the palace ground started running from the droplets, which slowly intensified and after a couple of minutes, the drizzle turned into full-on torrent.

“Aren’t you happy we are inside now?”  Nadia smiled at Zoya, but the latter was even more annoyed than before.

“NO!” she said firmly with a pout on her face

“Someone’s in the mood, today” a male’s voice came from the other entrance to the room and everyone turned to face king Nikolai himself.

“My king” Genya was the first one to raise from her seat and approach him

“I still can’t get used to that title” Nik smiled brightly “but you gotta admit it suits me well, doesn’t it?”

“Well…..” Genya started, but Zoya interrupted her

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t get too much to your head, you majesty.” She smirked

“If it ever does, I give you permission to knock some sense into me.” Nikolai chuckled at the girl’s surprised expression “yes, yes, I heard you use that particular expression. Just be sure to avoid the face, will you? Your punches are quite strong and I can’t risk getting injured in the most visible part of me. Now, is everyone back from the field?”

‘Squallers are at full strength” Adrik assured

“How about tidemakers, Annika?”

“As well, moi tsar.” the girl bowed gently and earned a smile from Nikolai.

“And what about Inferni?” he hesitated a bit

“I think we all know the answer to that question. Y/N is missing, obviously.”

“Guess that’s the aftermath of the time she spend on the ship with you in the role of Sturmhond”

“Good thing I know exactly where to look for her.” Nikolai started walking towards the exit ready to go outside straight into the downpour

“My king!” Genya yelled after him “you should not….”

“Oh, dear Genya, after all this time, you should not use the “you should” with me. Don’t you know I’m gonna do what I want either way. I’m the king after all” he winked at the girl without having any care in the world.

*** “You know, for an Inferni, you are strangely fascinated with water.” Y/N, who was sitting under the canopy near the waterfall, listening to the sound of rain turned around at the voice, a bit alarmed, ready to throw a fireball straight into Nikolai’s face. “Hey! Easy with that!” he raised hands in defense.

“Do not sneak on me!” she spat and then started laughing at the man, her eyes glistening with joy “you are drenched, moi tsar.“

“As if you weren’t.”

“I don’t really care. Besides, I got the heat, I can get myself dry, easily, unlike you.” Y/N smiled at him and reached a hand towards him “come on, we can both fit in here. Can’t risk you getting sick.”

“Oh, you are worried about me” he grinned sitting close to her, sneaking an arm around her waist and puling the girl in “That is just so sweet, my love”

“Mhm, sure. I’m worried about all your people and royal advisors coming after me with pitchforks because I gave the king the flu.”

“Pichfork?” he raised an eyebrow, but could not help a little laugh. “Why pitchfork?”

“I don’t know” she leaned into him. It was kinda funny, how she was the Infeni and yet, he was the one who was giving her warmth. The kind that does not come from the fire, but from the inside and from all the feelings she get because of him “isn’t that what used to be use to deal with witches? And I am a witch after all.”

“Sure you are. You definitely bewitched me.” Nikolai kissed her temple and she closed her eyes enjoying this. Maybe too much. “Besides, as the king, I choose to be here.”

“It’s just so quiet and peaceful, you know” she snuggled closer to him “unlike in the palace or in training. There just always so many people, so many noises. And rain, rain just make it all go away.”

“Like I said, you are one strange Inferni.”

“Maybe.” She sighed “you know people hear “’Inferni” and automatically assume those are the one who beams with energy all the time, have power and strength, and are always ready to jump into action. But hey, guess what, we are people too, we are tired and stressed and worried and need a break from time to time.”

“Hard week?” he asked rubbing on her arm lovingly and reassuringly.

“Like usual. It’s not like I can compare with all your duties. You’ve been busy too.”

“Is that why you’ve been hiding here?” he moved away slightly just to search for an answer in her eyes. “Don’t. turn away from me” his hand found a way to her cheek making her face him “Y/n, darling, tell me.”

 “I… that may have been the reason” she muttered “I just knew you would come to find me.” She looked down for a moment but then raised gaze and focused it on his face “Nik, I’m sorry, I just missed you and ….”

She did not get to finish as he leaned forward and planted his lips on hers in the most gentle, slow and emotional kiss that any girl could imagine and wish for. If she wasn’t sitting, her knees would probably gave up on her and she would fall to the ground. Saints, how she missed this. It’s been a week since they had a single silent moment together and it was all reflected in such simple, yet meaningful gesture. His grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her onto his lap, wanting her closer to him, enjoying how she let him hold her, touch her and kiss her. Just being with her was enough.

“I missed you too, my love. And I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving you enough attention.” Nikolai whispered nuzzling her nose with his making her chuckle since she was ticklish.

 “Don’t be silly, Nik. I am no one, just one rowdy Grisha.”

“You.” he pecked her lips again “are everything. My love. My bride. And the queen to be.”

“Ugh….”

“Still don’t like that?”

“I don’t think I’m the queen material.” She squirmed in his lap and it made him a bit too excited “I hate all that panoply and sumptuousness.”

“Do you even know me?” he groaned when she moved more “I’m the least pompous of my family. Do you remember our time on the Volkvolny? Definitely not a prince-like behavior back then.”

“Oh I remember some of that” she smirked locking hands on his neck and whispering in his ear “I also remember bringing the heat without using Inferni skills.”

“Uh… Um… yeah. You see, being a queen comes with one more benefit. “

“And what is that?” she feigned curiosity, even if the evidence was more than palpable

“You get to be the only person the king will kneel for….” He mumbled, kissing her cheek “Love.”

“Really?”

“Sure. I’ll leave with you with that thought.” With one single motion he moved her away and sat back next to him “maybe you won’t be hiding in the middle of the forest in the future.”

“I will. I definitely won’t stop on your account, love.” Y/N rolled her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. There would be time to tease him and get revenge later on. Judging by the circumstances it would be painfully easy to make him fulfill that promise. But not now. “Nik?” she whispered, calming down

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can we just stay here for a while? I need some peace…. And I want you with me. Just like this.”

“If you think you can get rid of me now you’re crazy. I’m not going anywhere far from….”

“From what?”

“From the person I love.” He answered and just to accent and emphasize those words raised her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

At this moment she really wished she was a tidemaker or a squaller. She would definitely disobey all the rules of not messing with nature and will make it rain till the end of the world if it meant just being with him away from the world.

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas - Day 12

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): mistletoe kiss

Word Count: 1K

Story Description: No one truly knows how the mistletoe tradition started, but it's littered houses for centuries during Christmastime. But spending a Christmas with the original hybrid proves to be quite... informative.

Fandom: Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x Female!Reader

A/N: I somehow was able to finish this before the year ended, though I thought I wouldn't be able to😅🫣 anywho, Merry Christmas everyone!! Thank you for following along with my stories, it truly has made my year 💖💖

Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business

For any other story: click here

Here’s the 12 days of Ficmas schedule: click me

<-Previous

Under the Mistletoe

Many people questioned how the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe started. Just who had been the first person to say that denying a kiss under the plant would bring bad luck?

That’s precisely what (Y/N) wondered as she hung bundles of them over many entrances in The Abbatoir.

Somehow, the supernatural world has decided to take a break during the holidays. Especially the feuding groups of New Orleans that had decided on a truce between them. They wanted to celebrate Christmastime in honor of all the lives lost and all the lives that started.

Having this kind of peace wasn’t normal. Not having to fight for their lives was not something anyone around the Mikaelson family knew. But here they all were, preparing for a holiday feast. All bad blood between the family had been laid to rest to enjoy that night. Maybe the love/hate that always lingered between them would resurface the next day, but at least they would have that night.

Klaus Mikaelson sat on a couch with a smile on his face, watching as the girl jumped from door to door placing the plants.

“You do know most of the people that will be in attendance tonight are related, love,” Klaus grinned. “It wouldn’t make much sense to have them stuck under some tradition that brings bad luck.”

“Obviously it’s different when you’re family, Nik,” she smiled, stretching her body on a ladder to hang one on the main entrance hall. “It’s just a kiss on the cheek. But honestly, I’ve never heard of anyone getting bad luck because of this. I don’t even know how it all started. It’s just a bit of fun.”

As she finally hung the last mistletoe, (Y/N) lost her balance and fell backward. She braced herself for the impact against the hard ground, but it never came. Instead, she fell into warm arms that cradled her body before she could hurt herself.

“You clumsy girl,” Nicklaus chuckled. “How many times have I told you to be careful?”

“Maybe I did this one purpose,” (Y/N) grinned as she placed her hand on his jaw. “You’re under the mistletoe, darling.”

The hybrid raised his head and laughed as he noticed he was in fact right below the three little red circles. (Y/N) was nothing if not a tease more often than not. She was a bundle of happiness that juxtaposed his own ire-filled heart. She was the reason for the little mercy he’d give the people who crossed him.

Since (Y/N) had come into his life, he found the anchor he’d needed for so long. She understood everything he did and why he did it — though she disagreed with 98% of all the things he did and how he did them. But she never looked at him differently. She never saw him with scared-filled eyes or with disappointment, her (Y/E/C) only looked at him with love. And he was scared for the day that she didn’t — it terrified him.

But at that moment, in his arms, (Y/N) stared at him in adoration, waiting for the moment their lips would collide. Her legs shook with giddiness, waiting on Klaus to finally make his move. With another chuckle, he finally pressed his lips to hers. An out-of-character soft kiss.

“You know,” he said as he set her down, placing his hands on her hips. “I was the one that started this centuries-old tradition.”

“You?” (Y/N) chuckled. “Why would you ever start something like this, Nik?”

“What can I say, love? I’ve always been one for a little mischief.”

“This is more than a little,” she laughed. “You made a whole tradition that even made it into the Christian rendition of the holiday. Many people actually believe that refusing a kiss gives you bad luck.”

“Who’s to say it doesn’t?” Klaus grinned. “You do know we were witches before we were vampires.”

“Klaus,” she gasped. “Did you really curse a whole plant for fun?!”

The man broke out in laughter, the sound booming across the space. He sat back down on the couch, beckoning (Y/N) to sit beside him. She smiled at him before settling on the space beside him, her head falling onto his chest.

“You do know that part isn’t real,” he said. “People back then believed too much in superstitions and I played into it. Apparently, that little joke stuck through centuries.”

“That’s good to know,” (Y/N) chuckled against him. “Although I wouldn’t put it past you though. No offense, darling.”

“None taken, love. My reputation precedes me and I am not ashamed of it.”

“Well, luckily though, we don’t need that silly tradition to kiss all we want,” she grinned mischievously at him. (Y/N) flipped herself onto his lap, her legs on each side of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a teasing kiss on his lips. “We don’t really need the mistletoe for much of anything.”

“I like where your head is at,” he growled as his hands gripped her hips, pushing her into him. “Maybe we can make this into the next Christmas tradition.”

“Well, it seems this will have to wait until after dinner, brother,” Rebekah’s voice filled the room.

(Y/N) left Niklaus’ lap as embarrassment filled her body, sitting next to him as she had been seconds before.

“Impeccable timing as always, Rebekah.” 

“I tried to get her to wait so you both could have this moment by yourself, but she insisted on ruining the moment,” Elijah said. “I do apologize for the impromptu intrusion, (Y/N).” 

“Oh, that’s no problem,” she laughed. Getting up from the seat, she went to give the siblings a hug. “You guys could never intrude.” 

“Hey, you’re standing under mistletoe,” Rebekah stated, pointing at the little plant over Elijah and (Y/N). “That means you owe her a kiss, Elijah.”

In an instant, Klaus was between his brother and his partner, pushing him out of the way.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he said. “The only one giving (Y/N) a kiss under the mistletoe is me.”

Taglist: @beckiej0073-blog@baebeepeach@skyesthebomb@magimtz23@thatgirljayy@toomanythoughts33 @laylaskywalker @winter-soldier-101@zheezs14 @DyslexicCatterpillar @cevans-winchester @andreiaafaria @bluetreecloud20@sunshine2894@mushroomelephant@esposadomd@this-is-a-bad-idea @nocturnalherb16 @then-worship-at-my-altar @Six-Call @Yuki254 @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck @a-slut-for-Loki-Bucky

[mydearzero]

eleven is so overrated

I respectfully disagree! El's the heart of the series. I am of the opinion she should maybe have died at some point to further the series and make them try and figure things out without her to make it not center around her as much, but I think she's a good character who actually gets an unnecessary amount of hate! So I don't think she's overrated, I do think she's overused

[sidereusimber]

Archive moodboard for @academic-on-a-midnight-dreary

[brekkercookie]

🎩

Nikolai/sweetheart /handsome/love of everyone's life

I hope you weren’t looking to me to be the voice of reason. I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret.

And may you add

You're better than waffles and the universe neens

i messed up on the last part im sorry ;-;

im sorry if i got it wrong lol

now you are forever on my wall 🤍

[dailymaul]

DAILYMAUL 1K CELEBRATION 💥 Happy Maul Monday! After just 5 months, we're excited to say we’ve hit 1k followers! A big thank-you to all who've supported this blog and our creations ♥︎ To celebrate, we want YOU to decide what we make next...

TOP 5 BADASS MAUL SCENES — AS VOTED BY OUR FOLLOWERS Instead of our usual monthly operations, our team will make original creations based on your choices and post them throughout December and January. How to participate: ★ follow us @dailymaul ★ reblog this post ★ vote for your TOP 5 badass maul scenes here (VOTING IS CLOSED) ★ optional: check out our original creations and our team:     ☆ nik | @sith-maul     ☆ merc | @sovietbarnes     ☆ allison | @star-wars     ☆ jen | @tesb     ☆ plum | @userplum | @spotchka

[princess-of-the-worlds]

tldr: I’m back, babey, with a handful of Torchwood fic recs timed perfectly for Halloween! Now, I tried to collect newer as well as older fics, but honestly, the way it worked out, they all ended up mostly being newer. Still, the fics here are a mixed bag in terms of spooky versus creepiness, and you should definitely find several you like!

I cannot sleep warm by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)

“And I love you too. Now... time to wake up.”

(janto | complete | teen | 11.2K)

Nik: Hi! Do you want to cry? Well, then, read this fic! Set in...well, a scenario I can’t entirely describe without spoilers but can say that it involves dreaming, this fic transcends reality - and also imagination - at times. The author - yes, I am proud to call her my friend - is very good at writing surreal stories, and there are just so many angsty layers to this fic. There’s this symmetric beauty to the first chapter that the second chapter just brings into focus. I immensely enjoyed this fic, but don’t go in expecting a happy ending!

The Picture of Javic Thane by thirteeninafez (@thirteeninafez)

The painting was an old Victorian portrait, showing a man sitting in an almost throne-like chair, posture perfect and facial expression stoic. Deep colours swirled from brilliant brush strokes, perfectly capturing the image it was displaying. It took Ianto a second to realise that the figure in the maroon, nearly purple suit (and matching bow-tie) was in fact the same man that was currently holding the painting in the Hub.

“That’s what came through the Rift?” Ianto asked incredulously, trying to ignore the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth.

(janto | complete | teen | 22.3K)

Nik: Full disclosure, I beta’d this fic, and holy shit, it’s good and perfectly fits the Halloween mood! This fic is essentially a The Picture of Dorian Grey AU, and the author’s descriptions as the painting changes...chef’s kiss! All team’s perspectives on Jack and how he changes is delightful and enough to make you shudder. If dark!Jack is something you’ve been missing in life, read this fic, but also know that it comes with requisite amounts of angst. (But I guess that that’s to be expected!)

Werewolf of Cardiff by Jackdaw816 (@shejustcalledmeafish)

Ianto's a wolf in the bedroom. Literally

(janto | complete | teen | 0.5K)

Nik: Again, full disclosure, I chattered about Werewolf Ianto to the author enough until she wrote this. So you can basically thank me for this fic! Short and sweet, this fic is essentially the quickest and best fluff you can ask to cheer you up or give you the warm fuzzies! Despite being a werewolf, Ianto’s full characterization still comes through, and the author does a delightful job with pouring on the extra love and warmth into the Jack-Ianto relationship.

Jack-O'-Lantern by AVAAntares (@avaantares)

An epistolary story in which Gwen carves, Ianto objects, Owen shirks, and Jack pays.

(Written for Torchwood Halloween Fest 2020. Prompt: Halloween traditions or celebrations)

(janto | complete | general | 0.7K)

Nik: Another quick fic! This one is entirely amusing with a great team dynamic! Brief emails follow the trajectory of the weeks before Halloween in the Hub, including a pumpkin that falls victim to Gwen and Jack as well as other moments of humor. You’ll certainly find yourself giggling along!

Imposters Among Us by gwendolyncooper (@gwendolyncooper)

The Torchwood team (+Rhys) are out for a night of fun when they end up on a spaceship with no power, no info, and no crew. Known only as THE SKELD, the team tries to fix the ship and figure out what happened to its previous occupants.

But something out there is killing them.

Something that may be someone they know.

(gwenrhys, janto | complete | mature | 9.1K)

Nik: This fic, as gut-punchy and well-written as the writing is, may not for the light-hearted, as you can likely see with the tags, but trust me, it’s worth it and ends up paying itself off! It’s essentially real-life Among Us, but playing it in reality is a lot more terrifying than playing it on your phone, and the team proves that! The plot is intriguing as it builds on the lore of the game, and the emotional beats certainly punch very hard, but the fic lands a bit more lightly on its feet at the end. Certainly a must-read if you love Among Us!

Toil, Trouble, and Trick-or-Treating by moonlightrhosyn (@moonlightrhosyn)

“I know what this is. She planned this. She thinks I don’t spend enough time with the kids. That’s why she’s doing this.” “Doing what, Ianto?” Gwen asked him. “What do your sister’s dinner plans have to do with you?” Ianto heaved a sigh. “She just asked me to take David and Mica trick-or-treating so she ‘can go to dinner’ - she just wants me to spend more time with them, and she’s come up with this.” “I can go too,” Jack offered as he joined them. He grinned. “I love kids!” In which Jack and Ianto take Halloween night off to look after Rhiannon's kids, while Gwen and Suzie coordinate Halloween Watch (and Gwen tries to get Suzie a date, after two years of strategizing).

(janto, gwenrhys, kathysuzie | complete | teen | 2.7K)

Nik: Here’s a canon divergence AU where everyone lives, including Suzie, which means we get some fun team times with Halloween! Ianto is tasked with taking David and Mica trick-or-treating, all accompanied by Jack. It’s sweet, light, and a perfect treat, with great little moments like Gwen trying to set Suzie up on a date with Kathy Swanson and David and Mica trying to conspire against Jack and Ianto for candy. There’s no monsters here! I beta’d this fic - you’re probably starting to see a trend here - and 200% recommend this for a fun read if you’re disappointed about not getting to go trick-or-treating this year!

Treat or Trick by NancyBrown

Five unusual trick or treaters show up at the tourist office.

(janto | complete | teen | 1K)

Nik: The author is an icon of this fandom, but this is one of their lesser-read fics, which is a damn shame. Ianto’s Halloween at the tourist office goes a bit awry when he meets the team, not only de-aged but also tossed back in time. It’s quick, witty, and humorous, everything a fic needs! A must-read!

Going Batty by blackkat

Ianto is a vampire. Cue Owen's obligitory Twilight jokes.

(janto | complete | general | 1.4K)

Nik: This fic is completely crack. Completely. If you’re looking for Dracula-esque vampire!Ianto, this is the perfect fic for you. Taking place from the perspective of Gwen, it explores the mystery of Torchwood’s most reclusive member. But again, it is also. 100% crack. But it’s very, very batty. (See what I did there?)

Erlkönig by engagemythrusters (@iianto-jones)

Something lurked in the darkness. It waited and watched, and it was coming for Ianto.

(janto | complete | teen | 5.6K)

Nik: Now, if you really want spooky, this is the right fic for you! The writing is excellent and dripping with tension and suspense, and the way Ianto spirals...now, this is some well-written horror that will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you’re looking for answers in this fic, don’t expect any, but that only makes it better. A must-read that was - ironically - written in May. I have many, many questions about how this fic resolves; please tell us, author! (Or don’t, to keep the spooky alive!)

Echoing by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)

Ianto wakes up at his desk in the archives, with no memory of how he got there or what happened before, and no way to contact Jack or Gwen. Turns out, all of that's the least of his problems.

(janto, lisaianto | complete | teen | 7.4K)

Nik: Yes, I know; this author has been on the list twice, but she’s on fire this month, with many, many excellent spooky fics. (Not that her fics aren’t always spooky!) This fic once again hits you like a gut-punch. Written in a very disorienting - in the good way - sense, we as readers follow Ianto wandering the Hub, looking for anyone else. He encounters company who aren’t so solid. By the time you’re nearing the end of this fic, you’ll likely have generated thousands of theories if you’re anything like me, but none of them will hurt as much as the actual truth. Expect some much angst from this. Again, another must-read!

[buckyreaderrecs]

Wax and Wane

Summary: Bucky was sure he'd felt all the different types of bad a person could feel. He was wrong. You were pretty sure it was illegal to drive away with an Avenger in the back of your van, but what else could you do? A story about grief that is basically the 'flowers grow in the sidewalk cracks' metaphor fanfictionalised.

Words: 5,614 Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Thor Additional tags: mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame never happened), Stark Tower still exists, other Marvel characters are mentioned but aren’t central to plot, recovering Bucky, not angsty but a sad story, she/her pronouns Warnings: illness/death, sick children, grief

Note: This was written for Nik's 1k Writing Challenge - @serpienten  My dialogue prompt was, "I'll keep you warm. Hold me closer." I hope you love it, Nik! 

EDIT: Accidentally had all the Y/N replaced with my name because of the Chrome extension. Hopefully fixed, but if you see Rhiannon pop up, please let me know so I can edit. Embarrassing lol.

Wax and Wane

As the paint was brushed gently across their skin in broad strokes, you could read the joy and pleasure in their sweet little faces. It was a very minor and short term relief from their day-to-day pain, but it was the very least you could do. Face painting wasn't going to cure cancer or mend broken bones, but it made the residents of the hospital's children's ward happy.

Most of the long-term patients knew you. You were the girl in the tutu and butterfly wings that would come and blow bubbles and make them smile. But on that day, you weren't the one they were excited for.

The children were in a frenzy as The Avengers entered the room, dressed in their best outfits (minus any dangerous weaponry, you assumed). You stood to the side of the room with the doctors, nurses, and parents, and listened along with an enraptured audience as Captain America and Iron Man introduced the team. The kids couldn't sit for long, so very quickly the nibbles and treats were brought out and the room calmed into a soft party atmosphere.

As soon as you'd set up your station, there was a line of children wanting to have webs and stars painted. You worked quickly, getting through the line fast. Staying put, you only had a chance to briefly survey the room before Liam, one of your most special friends, trotted up to you, pulling along someone new.

"Hey, Liam," you greeted. He let go of his new friend's hand to hug you.

"Look, Y/N!" he said, pointing up. "It's Bucky!"

You looked up at Bucky Barnes, who would have towered over you even if you had been standing. The child's size plastic chair you were on really added a comical size difference though.

"Hi, Bucky," you said, coy smile. Bucky softly smiled back. "You're Liam's favourite,"

"Yeah, I told'ed him that!" Liam said, not a shred of self-consciousness in the child. "And now we can be matching,"

"Matching?" you asked.

"Yeah, 'cause you do the painting and you can paint my arm like Bucky's," Liam explained, holding his prosthetic arm out in demonstration.

Glancing up at Bucky to make sure he was privy to the plan, he simply gave a little shrug.

"Sounds good to me. How about you sit in this chair here, Liam, and we get Bucky to sit right next to us on the floor. Is that okay?" you asked both of them.

Liam jumped into the seat, sticking his arm out ready.

Bucky had a bit of a harder time folding himself down, but he eventually managed to sit in front of you comfortably.

"Okay if I borrow your arm for a bit?" you asked Bucky.

He nodded and held it out to you. When you took it, laying it across one of your legs so you could copy the seams and markings, Bucky held his breath. Most people hesitated. He figured some of them were afraid, and some didn't want to appear rude. Not you though. To you, his arm was just that - an arm. You'd kinda grown used to celebrities (is that what superheroes are classified as? you wondered to yourself) by then. Make a Wish and fundraising events and all that jazz… Turns out most famous people are pretty normal, boring even.

Bucky watched you pull a bunch of markers out of your kit and begin replicating the aesthetic of his vibranium arm onto Liam's plastic prosthetic. He let you gently move him as needed, and found himself in awe of how good your Sharpie skills were.

"You're really good," he said, speaking up for the first time.

Liam held most of the space in the conversation, which was fine by both of you. He told Bucky about his illness, and how even though he'd lost his arm, he was the "luckiest kid in New York" because he was alive and because he got to meet The Avengers. There were shades of adult in his words, like he'd been told of his own luck before.

While Liam spoke, you stole glances at Bucky. Mostly, his gaze was on Liam, sometimes darting over to you and away just as fast; he was avoiding eye contact. However, he quickly would turn to focus on particularly loud sounds or doors opening. If you'd had a chance to watch any of the other heroes in the room, you'd note they all did the same.

"Doin' okay, Liam?" you checked in when the boy had gone quiet.

Liam nodded frantically, not wanting to disappoint. "Yeah!" he affirmed.

"Maybe just need a little nap after this, huh buddy?" you asked.

"Maybe," he replied, relieved that there was a nap in his future.

"Think I might need one too," Bucky chimed in. Liam giggled like it was a joke.

"All done!" you announced.

When the very elated Liam was done tippy tapping and hugging, he ran off to show his parents how absolutely cool he was.

You and Bucky stood, both stretching out your limbs.

"Think you've made a friend for life there," you told him; he softly smiled in reply. "Can I just say something that might be way out of place? I just… I don't know… I feel like you need to hear it."

Bucky frowned, studied your face for a second. "Sure,"

"Okay… So… You do know that you deserve to be here, right?"

Mostly his expression was blank, then his head tilted to the side just a little. You'd been reading him the whole time, he realised. He felt exposed. But there was nowhere to run to.

"Maybe…" he finally settled on saying.

"Maybe?" you scoffed. "I mean, kids are lining up to meet you… And you're not questioning if, like, Wanda Maximoff or Natasha Romanoff should be here, you know what I mean?"

Bucky looked over to where Scarlet Witch and Black Widow were forming a girl gang. "They're different. It's different," he argued, but his words were laced with too much sadness for you to give in.

"Yeah… If you wanna get technical, weren't you the only one under mind control or whatever?" you posed.

Bucky looked at you, tried to figure out why you were being so… persistently kind. Your logic made sense, and something in him considered believing it.

"I'm just saying," you continued, "You deserve to be here. And if you don't wanna accept that, then it can be like… Liam deserves for you to be here."

That, Bucky could get behind. He nodded. "Thank you," he said, awkward but earnest.

You shrugged it off, then took a slow step towards him. "Hug?"

He blinked stupidly, then nodded, opening his arms and letting you step into them. While you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, Bucky hesitated for a moment, then slid his arms around you. People around the room, even the ones that didn't know Bucky, watched how his hands lingered in the air before settling on your back. They saw how he melted into the hug, let his head rest on your shoulder and closed his eyes.

When you stepped away from each other, he'd inherited some of your fairy glitter.

"I'll see you next time, I guess," you offered, letting your sentence trail off enough that Bucky could catch it if he wanted. There was room for him to say anything. But, he just nodded.

Bucky watched you walk away.

Sam appeared at his side. "So, are you gonna-" Sam said, the amusement clear in his tone.

"Don't," Bucky interrupted.

"She's clearly-"

"I said don't," Bucky snapped, walking out of the room.

Sam went to follow, worried he'd genuinely upset his friend, but he caught Steve's eye. A subtle shake of the head told him to stand down.

…

Although you buried it deep inside, there was some small part of you that thought maybe you'd hear from Bucky. You weren't exactly sure why you thought that was going to happen. It was easy to let that idea fall in the face of logic though; he was an Avenger… very busy… very private… etc. etc. Nonetheless, that small part stayed alight, and it fed your dreams all the way through to the next time you would cross paths with Bucky again.

It was a different hospital, but the same type of event. Sparkle and shine and cheer the kids up. Although there were less Avengers than the first, the children were entirely chuffed with meeting their heroes. And, this event had something the previous did not. Thor. His laugh bellowed all through the ward's corridors, providing a sharp contrast to the otherwise sterile mundane life of the hospital.

Thor promised the children that it wasn't that they weren't worthy of wielding Mjolner, it was that they just weren't ready yet. "You're far too little! When you're big and strong, like me!" He filled the children with more hope than they'd had in a long time.

Your attention constantly being drawn to the larger-than-life Asgardian was a welcomed distraction… You were trying to give Bucky space, deciding that if he wanted to talk to you, he could. You wouldn't push it. Two superheroes that apparently did want to talk to you, though, were Falcon and Captain America.

Like you were their mission, there was hardly a second where one of them wasn't by your side. Sam was entirely unhelpful, giving creative input to all the face painting. He made the kids laugh though, often at jokes that went over their innocent heads. It was his sassy tone they really liked. Steve was a little calmer, answering weird and wonderful questions only children could think up.

They were both charming, personable, and genuinely fun to be around, but what were they doing? Were they trying to coax Bucky in? Provide a buffer? Or, no… Maybe they were keeping you from him? Shaking the thought from your head, you simply blew bubbles and painted faces and covered the room in confetti.

You would have liked to say you didn't notice when Bucky slipped from the room, not returning, but that small part of you most definitely did. It most definitely noticed and you most definitely felt the effect of him not speaking to you, not even offering a smile across the room.

"Did I do something?" you finally asked Steve, not needing to explain the context.

"No… It's not you…" he answered, looking over at the door Bucky had left through. "He's just… He's trying…"

…

The children's ward was quiet. It was like that on Tuesday mornings. No events. Rounds over. Just the everyday life of sick children and distraught parents. As you walked down the corridor, you glanced through open doorways on your way to the nurses' station.

It was a hard place to be.

Something caught your eye and you stopped yourself a second too late, passing the room before you could see what it was. A flash of something. Stepping back, you snuck a look around the corner.

A sunbeam off vibranium. Bucky Barnes was folded next to a bed, his arms crossed on the edge of the mattress, his head resting on them. He was asleep. You took a step into the room, then looked to the occupant of the bed. Your heart dropped. Liam.

Liam was asleep in bed, sweating and small.

Cautiously, you crept further into the room. Neither of them stirred, so you took a chair on the opposite side of the bed to Bucky and reached over to pick up Liam's chart from the end of his bed. It didn't say a lot, just the need-to-know for nurse rotation. But you knew those medications enough to know it was bad. Really bad. The emotions caught were too big. You put the chart back; the plastic-hitting-plastic sound it made woke Bucky up. He shot up, chair almost knocked to the ground if it weren't for his reflexes. He looked across the bed at you then, recognition instant. A worried expression took over his face.

"Y/N?"

"He's sick again," you said, your voice sounding far away.

Bucky tracked your gaze to Liam. He nodded. "Yeah… They, ah… It came back… His parents went home to get some sleep. I said I'd stay." When you didn't move, didn't say anything, Bucky grew nervous. He could hardly handle his own reaction, let alone yours too. "They, the hospital, got in touch when he came back in. Said that… I could help. Make him feel… brave, or… I don't know.. It's been a couple weeks, but…"

He couldn't bring himself to say it and you didn't need to hear it.

"I've… I've got to… go…" you said.

When you stood up, you wobbled on the spot and tried to take a step to the door. Bucky was next to you before you even clocked him moving.

"Come on. Don't wanna wake him," Bucky whispered, helping you out of the room gently.

In the corridor, away from the door, you felt the wet hot tears roll down your face. Stupid, you thought to yourself, you should be used to this. It's happened before. The obvious and cruel downside to volunteering in the pediatric ward of a hospital.

Bucky stood in front of you, watching for only a couple seconds before pulling you into a hug. He squeezed you into his chest, your arms curled comfortably between him and you.

"He's talked about you. He'd wanna see you... Come back this afternoon and see him."

You nodded, keeping your eyes shut tightly.

"Okay," you tried, your voice squeaky and small.

"Okay," Bucky repeated, trying to channel the humanity pre-Hydra Bucky showed when Steve's mother passed away. He knew what to say and do then. "You're okay… Go… Go do what ya need to. We'll be here. I've got him," he said.

When he let you go, you felt cold. You wiped your tears, nodded once and looked up at him.

"Go," he prompted, and you nodded again, turning and walking away.

…

"Yeah, I don't know what that is,"

"Finding Nemo?!" Liam repeated, like if he said it louder Bucky was more likely to recognise the title.

You chuckled from the seat next to Bucky's.

"You knew?" he asked.

"Everyone knows just keep swimming, Buck," you told him with a shrug.

"Guess that's another one for the list then," he said, pulling his phone out and adding the film to his ever-growing list of 'to watch'.

Hours could go by like that. You, Liam, and Bucky sitting around, reciting movie quotes to each other. Guessing titles. Laughing at all the gaps in Bucky's pop culture knowledge. Liam loved feeling smarter than an adult, and he completely lost himself in hysterical laughter when Bucky burst out his chair in joy when he finally recognised a film.

"Star Wars!" Bucky had screamed so loud the nurse came in to shush him. "Luke, I am your father!" Bucky whispered at her, grinning ear to ear. Then there was the Harry Potter time. "I got tricked into watching them," Bucky had said, shaking his head. Apparently, during his stay in Wakanda, Shuri had convinced him that Scarlet Witch and those who attended Hogwarts were from the same breed. He should, she said, watch it so he understands Wanda Maximoff better. Shuri would remember Bucky's face forever when he came back from visiting Team Cap.

"My turn," Liam said. He thought for a second. "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse," he said, his voice forced as deep as his tiny child body would allow.

"Woah! Who let you watch that?!" you said, completely horrified.

"My cousin David," Liam snitched immediately. "The horse head didn't even look real,"

"It didn't," Bucky confirmed, again, happy to identify The Godfather. "Alright, my turn… Ah… Okay. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

You were as lost as Liam.

"We give up," Liam reported after maybe five seconds of thinking.

"Casablanca?! Come on, guys. It's a classic!" Bucky argued.

"God, you're showing your age," you teased.

"Alright, you do better,"

"Easy," you cleared your throat for dramatic effect, "To infinity and beyond!"

"TOY STORY!" both Liam and Bucky yelled in unison.

Liam then taught Bucky how to act out the "Buzz, will you get up here and give me a hand?" scene, complete with thrown prosthetic.

…

"Theeeeeee… beeeeestest… leaf!"

You and Bucky ran off in opposite directions. The hospital courtyard wasn't exactly bursting at the seams with nature, but it was enough to complete a little scavenger hunt.

On Liam's orders, you returned with the most impressive leaf you could find. Bucky was right behind you. Handing them over, Liam carefully considered them from his bunded up seat in his wheelchair.

"The winner is…" he said, pausing to cough. "Y/N!"

"What?!" Bucky screeched.

"Calm down. It's one-all," you reminded him. His feather was iridescent therefore better than your grey pigeon one.

Bucky grinned at you, ever competitive and ever aiming to make Liam happy. "Alright," he said. "What's next, little man?"

…

"Not today, guys," the nurse replied when you ask if Liam could go for a walk.

"Maybe we'll just read a couple chapters of The Lord of the Rings then, yeah?" you said, turning your suggestion to Bucky.

Bucky nodded solemnly, suddenly and deeply affected by the reminder of Liam's weakening state, of mortality.

Before entering Liam's room, you reached out and touched Bucky's arm. He stopped, looked at you with glossy eyes. You don't wanna see it, think it, but sadness didn't take away from Bucky's beauty.

"You okay?" you asked.

It was a loaded question and almost a rhetorical one. Bucky knew that. He didn't answer, just gave you a weak, lopsided smile.

"You Sam or Frodo today?" he asked, shaking it off and moving again.

…

For the whole time you'd known Bucky, his size had always been so obvious. Sitting beside children, beside Liam, he looked like a giant. Even next to the nurses that came and went he towered. Small hospital chairs. Small plastic cups. Small, sanitised rooms.

So, when you turned the corner and saw Bucky sitting on the floor of the pediatric ward's hallway, looking so fucking small, it stopped you in your tracks. His head was in his hands, and you knew what it meant.

Slowly, step by heavy step, you walked the hallway and came to stand in the doorway of what was once Liam's room. The bed had been stripped of linen, but wasn't yet made ready for the next patient. The charts were gone, and the many tubes and plastic bags of chemicals too. A crushed, empty juice box was on the ground.

Behind you, a nurse cleared her throat.

"Y/N… I'm so sorry… We tried to call ya this morning but-"

"I left my phone at home… I was running late. Locked myself out my apartment. Left half my kit there too. Was late to this fairy party gig I had downtown… Bad day… and-" you were rambling, tears slowly running down your face. The nurse's hand gently cupping your shoulder stopped you.

"S'alright, love… Nothing you could've done. But it's good you're here now. Reckon the Sergeant here might need a little TLC, yeah?"

Nodding, you wiped your tears away on the sleeve of your hoodie. Suddenly, it felt ridiculous to be wearing a pink tutu.

The nurse left you alone with Bucky.

Bucky, who had not moved a single inch since you arrived. Bucky, who looked small. Bucky.

"Let's go," you said, kneeling on the lino floor in front of him. "Think maybe a crying fairy and ah, statue Winter Soldier might confuse the kids… So… let's go."

You thought maybe he wasn't going to reply, but he lifted his head, faced up. Bucky's eyes were rimmed red, but they were dry. He looked haunted. Shaking his head the smallest amount, he told you, "I… I can't… can't leave him…"

"Okay… Okay, yeah. Um…" You looked up and down the hallway, trying to think while your head was drowning in grief. "Alright, um… My van is downstairs, in the lot. Let's just… I don't know, get that far."

Bucky just starred at you. For one… two… three… "Yeah, okay," he agreed, standing.

He didn't say a word as he followed you into the elevator and down to the carpark. People tried to not stare as you walked by.

Arriving at your van, you opened the back and shoved some things out of the way, pulling the small mattress and pillows down from where they were propped up against the side. Turning to face Bucky, you read the confusion in his face.

"Oh, ah… I don't live in it… I just…" There was no point in sugar-coating at that point. "I spend half my time around sick kids, you know? I need somewhere to be when it gets too much. Somewhere to… cry or sleep for an hour or whatever."

Bucky looked from the van to you, gave you a small nod of acknowledgement.

"We can just stay here… for as long as you need…" you offered, feeling embarrassment swell in you, but it quickly gave way to the apathy summoned by abject grief.

If Bucky thought it was weird, he didn't say and you wouldn't have cared. He didn't though. He moved to sit where he could politely unlace his boots and nudge them under the van, then he scooted back onto the mattress, laid down. You crawled in after him, closing the doors behind you.

He'd returned to his state of seeming too big for his surroundings, curled up in the back of your van. When you laid down next to him, he looked over at you. "Thank you," he said, voice croaky.

As tears began to form in his eyes, you had the grace to pretend not to notice. "I think there's a blanket somewhere…" You sat up, looking over a box of costume fairy wings. Before you could locate the blanket, Bucky's arms wrapped gently around your waist, pulling you into him.

Your back was to his chest, his face buried somewhere between your neck and the pillow.

"I'll keep you warm," Bucky said, "Hold me closer." So, you did, putting your arms over his and threading your fingers between his. You didn't need to be kept warm, but he needed to hold onto something solid, someone living, breathing, real, and there. He needed you.

…

Usually, sleeping in the back of the van was fine. When a super soldier was taking up 80% of the space, however… different story. You lasted forty minutes before snaking your way out, jumping over the front bench seat to sit behind the wheel.

Bucky was definitely dead to the world. You could hear his heavy sleep-induced breathing. But, you couldn't just drive off with him in the back. That would pretty much be kidnapping an Avenger, right? You looked over the seat at Bucky. Waking him up seemed like an equally bad idea, both practically and morally speaking. He was so peaceful.

So, against your better judgement, you got out, grabbed his boots, and jumped back in, putting the key in the ignition and turning.

At every car horn, New York pedestrian, and sharp turn, you glanced over to see if he'd been startled awake. Alas, sleeping beauty. After about fifteen minutes of sitting on your phone when you'd arrived home, parked in the back lot of your apartment complex, you ran out of feeds to refresh. Leaving the car key close to Bucky, where he'd see it, you left him there, figuring he'd probably be able to defend himself if anyone tried to steal the van.

Hours later, close to midnight, you found yourself walking around your place, lost and teary. Pulling your nightgown on, you left your apartment and ventured outside. It was cold. That type of night time chill that only exists when you're at your most sad. Bone freezing. Visible breathing.

There was no reply when you knocked on the back door of the van. Opening it, you were startled by Bucky's upright frame. He was sitting awake, back to the interior wall.

"Buck?"

No reply.

You were a little scared. Unsure of what to do next.

"I… I thought you could use the sleep. We're at my place now…"

Still, nothing.

"Do you want to come inside?"

You chewed your lip for a second, waited, but he remained still. His super soldier body would be fine without food or water for a little while longer, you reasoned. And, he constantly radiated heat.

"I'm apartment 5C. Come up when you're ready."

He didn't look over as you closed the door and retreated back into the safety of your home. There, you cried. Grieved. Tried to sleep. You told yourself you would make him come inside in the morning.

…

The sun rose red over New York City. You'd left your blinds open all night; waking up to natural like was meant to be good for you. Sitting up, you stretched the last remnants of a restless sleep off your heavy body and stepped out of bed.

Maybe Bucky got himself in overnight. Crept in through an unlocked window. Used some sort of superhero technology to unlock the front door. He wasn't on the couch, though, or anywhere in the apartment.

Teeth brushed and coffee brewing, you once again donned the nightgown and headed outside.

At least he's lying down, you thought, opening the van door.

Bucky was back under the blanket. He was awake, the lines under his eyes deep set and sharing space with purple shadows.

"Come on," you said. "You can't stay here. People are gonna come looking for you."

Slowly, Bucky rolled his head to the side to look at you. Previously, he was staring at the van ceiling. "Steve knows," he told you, throwing his phone over. It landed on the blanket with a gentle thud.

You didn't pick it up.

Bucky continued, "Messaged him last night. Phone's dead now,"

"Um… okay… Well, you should still come inside. There's more room,"

"I'm fine."

It wasn't defiance as much as it was apathy. You wanted to say something. Anything. Be reassuring. But to be honest, you were surprised by his grief.

Surely, the Winter Solider knew loss. Surely, he'd mourned and learnt to cope.

No… No, this was different, you told yourself. The first child who passed away when you started working with the hospitals destroyed you. It took a month to even go back to the pediatric ward. Since then, you'd put things into perspective and learnt to process everything a bit better. Not as equipped as the doctors and nurses to do so, but able enough to survive the pain.

The pain. Entirely unique. Something Bucky hadn't felt before.

He really thought he'd felt all the types of bad there was to feel. He really thought he was no longer able to love. Besides Steve. And Sam. Wanda. Nat. Shuri… Okay, so he was kidding himself. Still. It fucking hurt.

…

Around lunch, you took Bucky some food. Around dinner, you found it untouched but replaced it anyway.

It was a Sunday night. In the morning you were expected over at the palliative care centre. Reading aloud to the patients helps.

At 5:30 am, you woke from a fever dream. After shoving the sheets in the apartment building's basement washer, you called the centre.

"Oh, no worries, Y/N," they told you. "Sally's bringin' her new puppy in today. That ought to bring some cheer to the place anyway."

Guilt alleviated only slightly, you trekked to the van.

At least he'd nibbled on dinner at some point.

"Bucky?"

It was dark still, the sun only just waking up. You could make out Bucky's form in amongst your stuff.

"You have to come inside today. I…" Guilt. Maybe a guilt trip would work. "I need my van for work…" It almost sounded like a question. "And, I'm sure you've got things you need to do…" No response. "Superhero stuff?"

A muffled snort, but nothing else.

…

"Any chance you can just leave him there?"

For a second, you thought Steve was joking. The silence at the end of the line said otherwise.

"Ah, I mean, it's been almost two days,"

"I can get a car sent over to you if-"

"No," you interrupted. "That's not it. I'm just… Is this normal?"

Steve sighed. "There's not a normal for us, Y/N. There's just… coping… day by day."

Holding in tears, you nodded to yourself. "Yeah, okay. I, ah, just wanted to check in. See if there's anything I should be doing,"

"I'd wager that you're already doing it… It means something that he's chosen to be near you. He could have run. He does sometimes. So, really, for him, this is… progress. He trusts you."

You're weren't sure what you'd done to deserve that.

"Thanks, Steve,"

"Anytime. Call anytime, Y/N."

When you'd phone Stark Tower looking for help, you didn't really expect to be taken seriously. As it turned out, they were waiting for your call.

…

To your relief, Bucky was sitting up when you opened the van doors around 5 pm. He watched in interest as you awkwardly climbed in, handing him the tray you were carrying so you could settle in next to him.

"Choc chip cookies and tea," you announced, not letting him give the tray back. "And I'm not leaving until you drink your cup and have at least two cookies."

Bucky looked down at the presentation in his lap. "Guess I can't argue with that."

You chewed your cookie slowly, making sure you'd not finish before him.

"Did you make these?"

"Yeah… I bake when I'm… Whatever," you replied.

He nodded, then took another bite.

"You called Steve?"

"How'd-"

Bucky shrugged. "Just figured you would. What'd he say?"

"Um… That you're okay here," you told him.

Bucky didn't reply, instead picked up his mug of tea and held it between his palms. The china softly chinked against his left hand.

You wanted to ask if he was indeed okay, but you weren't sure of what you'd be able to say if he lied. Or told the truth. Or anything in between.

When the tray was empty of food, you climbed out of the van, and half-heartedly asked if he was coming inside.

"I'm fine here," was his equally half-hearted reply.

Together, maybe, you could make a whole person, something functioning and able to cope better than either of you were doing alone.

Back inside your apartment, you ran out of plain flour and dishes to clean. All that was left to do was mourn.

…

It had been three nights and days since you'd arrived home from the hospital. Almost eighty hours of saying goodbye to Liam and telling yourself to be grateful that you knew him, and that you were able to help him laugh and find joy in his final few weeks. Hours of phone calls to friends, family, and your favourite nurses. Hours of standing at your apartment door, ready to march down to the van and pull Bucky out by his boots. Hours of it all.

Like all things though, good or bad, it was waning and you were beginning to see how you could survive.

You were sitting at the kitchen bench, practising your pipe cleaner and pom pom crown-making skills when there was a knock on the door. Glancing at your phone as you stood, you thought it was around dinner time. Probably next door, asking to borrow an egg. Or the old lady from down the hall that always made too much lasagne.

Without checking the peephole, you opened the door with your best polite smile ready.

Bucky.

The sight of him hit you, not like a tidal wave, but a waist-deep wave that knocks you back unexpectedly. You stumbled, had to refocus. Felt a little out of control.

Out of the mess of the back of the van, it was easier to see how utterly fucked he looked. His long hair was ratty, visibly knotted in parts. Expression strung out, he looked like he was in amphetamine withdrawal. His skin was too shiny, and his clothes were crumpled and damp in places.

Bucky went to speak, but the words got caught in his throat. He looked pained, then sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his hoodie's arm.

Without any warning, you burst into tears.

Your hands went up to cup your mouth but it was too late. The sobs were heaving up from deep inside you, and Bucky was born with too much empathy to not be affected. Tears began to roll down his face.

And that was it. Any pretence or attempt to be stoic was entirely dissolved. You crumbled into each other.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and you pressed your head hard into his chest, almost pushing against him like you were trying to push the feelings out of yourself.

"I know," he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

As his arms tightened around your body, you could feel how it was calming you. It was only a short term relief from the grief, but it was the very least Bucky could think to do. Holding you wasn't going to make anything better, but it made you both feel less alone.

Showers and fuzzy bed socks. Hot cocoa and trashy television. Sleeping close. Waking up together.

From the deep unwanted darkness of grief, something was determined to find a way to grow.

Tag list (open): @browngirlmagic @lookalivefrosty @aynaraxas @vibraniumwitch @the--sad--hatter @bubbabarnes

(not sure if you want to be tagged in new fics @animegirlgeeky?) 

[larrysballetslippers]

Hiya Liyah!!!

Super congratulations on the 1K! so let's make out of it a whole week of celebrations :) why not???

Hope last night' was a great kick-off of the party season, aka this week. 😅😜

Regarding your ask game... pleeeeeaaasssseeeee you really gave me this opportunity?? OFC I am going with:

😳 an embarrassing childhood story.

I'm with my eyes wide open waiting for your comeback.

cheers to your 1K!

🥂Nik

Hahhaa honestly this is a week full of celebrations, my birthday is Thursday, so that will be fun as well!! Thank you so so much!!!!

Alright, when I was around 8? years old I went on vacation with my family, with the plane. My family has this thing of always being late (while I get A LOT of anxiety for an event because I don't want to be late.... it's a struggle haha), so we were very late to broad the plane. We were running with all our luggage through the airport, trying to catch the flight. I am the youngest, but I was always a very fast runner. So I was running in front of them all. My dad yelled at me to get on the horizontal escalator thingy. I did, but besides being fast I am also very clumsy .... I fell on the escalator thingy, because I was running on it. Funny enough, my mom fell trying to get to me, meaning we both scrapped our knees and hands pretty badly. It was a lot hahahah. But I'll remember it forever.

[igotanidea]

Midnight : Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Requested as a part of my 1k celebration.

***

It was almost midnight when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. At first, she had no intention of getting up, the nest she created for herself using blankets and pillows were too comfortable to leave them and the book she was reading far to involving, but the intruder was relentless. With a groan, fuming, she got up and opened those damn wooden entry.

“What on Saints?!” she whisper-yelled, but the view in front of her made her halt. “Nikolai. What are you doing here? It’s late!” she started turning head left and right, making sure none of the guards saw him here. That would be scandalous. Even if the whole palace knew they were in a serious, committed relationship, he was not supposed to come to her chambers. Ever. Not until the wedding. At least, that was the official version, neither the future king nor his beloved really cared about. He used to sneak to her before, craving her next to him, wanting to hold her, touch her and kiss her until she lost her breath but it never happened in the middle of the night.

“Relax, love” he smirked “I’ve been careful. It’s truly a shame I have to creep like this in my own palace, isn’t it?”

“Just shut up and come inside.” She hissed and grabbed his hand dragging him into her room, once again checking the corridor and then closing the door tight.

“Missed me that much?” he muttered taking a step forward and caging her between the door and his body, radiating the heat and fire that she could not contain even if she was an Inferni.

“Not even a little….” She mumbled back, letting him put his hands on her hips and pull her flush to him.

“Really? This blush on your cheek tells me something different, sweetheart .Come on, just admit it so I can greet you properly…..I haven’t seen you whole day…..”

“Duties my king, are sometimes a menace, and out of all the people in Ravka, you should know that best.” Her hands found a way to his neck when she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to his. Of course she did miss him. She missed him every minute, every second he was not with her. Admitting that, however, was a completely different story.

“Hey!” he objected pulling back “I was supposed to charm you into kissing not the other way round.”

“Then look me in the eyes and say that you do not enjoy when I take control…..If you need a reminder……” she trailed, her eyes filled with lust and his reciprocating this feeling.

“Saints!” he hissed and kissed her again, softly, gently, lovingly, enjoying the feeling. Every move of his mouth against her telling the story of passion, admiration, longing. The love he had for her could not be contained, but he was still a gentleman. At least, more often than not. And tonight, he came here in a completely different purpose. “Do you even know what you are doing to me?” He whispered into her ear, pecking her cheek and hugging her close, not wanting to let go.  

“Probably the same thing you do to me.” She smiled softly, with those goo-goo eyes.

“Come out with me.” He burst suddenly

“What? Where?”

“Outside.”

 “Why? It’s the middle of the night, Nik. And it’s cold….”

“Don’t worry love, I’ll keep you warm. I want to watch the stars with you.”

“Stars? Nikolai, are you serious? Since when are you an astronomer?”

“I just gotta thank them for bringing you to me.” He whispered

“Oh, you are a one cheesy bastard” she rolled her eyes and wriggled out of his hands, reaching for her coat, already relenting.

“But you fell for it, didn’t you?”

“Stop flattering yourself. I fell for your compassion, energy, kindness, care… All that you are trying to hide under that wicked sense of humor. I fell for Nikolai Lantsov in his purest form. And with all his weaknesses.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” he smiled sincerely. “but I have no flaws. And that’s why we are just perfect for each other, cause neither do you. Maybe apart from your sarcasm and stubbornness and teasing and bickering and ….”

“Are you done?”

“Just for the moment. Now, I have to muffle you up and help you sneak out with me. You don’t really have that much experience in that as I do.”

“Oh, you wanna bet?!”

***

He actually did want to bet. Therefore, he dared her to sneak out using one way out while he walked the other. The first one to get to the balcony, adjacent to the ballroom. Nikolai’s words were not true, given the fact that Y/N has been hiding and running around the palace since she was a kid and knew those labyrinths of corridors nearly as well as the prince. But it was thrilling to have a little challenge and see who was better. It was more about having fun with the one she loved than actual wining, but they were both equally competitive so the chances were neither of them would go easy on the other.

“I got you!” strong pair of arms wrapped around her middle from behind the second she came through the ballroom door and she had to muffle the shriek, forming in her throat “It’s me, it’s me. You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Ever.” Nik, because who else, turned her around and looked straight into her eyes, making her calm down. “I promise. Not to sound to dramatic, but I’ll give my life for you.”

“I truly hope it won’t ever come to this, cause, well, not to sound dramatic either, but I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“I love you….” He whispered, cupping her cheek and brushing it gently “now look up, fireball , we came to see stars after all.”

“I’d rather have the view from the railing.” She grinned brightly and rushed towards the edge of the balcony, grabbing the ledge, perking her head up.

“Don’t you run away from me!” in a blink of an eye Nikolai was behind her, hugging her to his chest again, so close there were almost no space between their bodies.

It was just so perfect. Him being here, all for her, not interrupted by advisors, generals, subjects, endless list of duties and obligations. Just the two of them, surrounded by silence and dark, indulging in something as simple as the presence of the person they loved and wanted to spend the rest of the life with. Cheesy, cliché, repeatable, banal scene. But also so natural and just right.

Yes.

It was just right. She couldn’t enjoy it more, with his hands resting on her waist, head leaning on his shoulder, breathing deeply. This was her Nikolai. The one who brought her calm and peace. The sensitive, soft one, he became only while being alone with her.

“Nik?” she whispered

“Hm?” he muttered, turning head slightly to breathe in her hair and closing eyes in pure delight.

“I did miss you.” She admitted shyly.

“I know. Cause I missed you to.”

“Thank you for bringing me here. Now I get it why you wanted to see the stars. And why you believe them to be magic. This actually reminds me of our time at Volkvolny.”

“That  was nice, wasn’t it? Easier times when I wasn’t a price and you were a Grisha in disguise.”  He sighed deeply.

“Do you wish you could go back, Nik?”

“I always knew it wouldn’t last forever. But I found you on the way. So it was all worth it for me.”

“For me too.”

For a moment there was silence between them. Those kind that you feel comfortable in and without any urge to fill it with words.

“Nik?”

“Yes, sunshine.”

“I love you too.”

“I know.” he laughed and shaking of his body made her shake with him, smiling lightly, enjoying the sound she didn’t hear from him for a while now. “who wouldn’t?”

“You just had to ruin the moment….”

“Sorry, my little flame. But there’s one more reason why I brought you here.”

“And why is that?”

“I hear that kissing the one you love under the stars bring you luck.”

“What are you waiting for then?"

[mydearzero]

Mutual pining/friends to lovers is the perfect trope for any fic

Hmmm I do love me a good pining friends to lovers, but I raise you enemies to lovers and win. It's so popular for a reason. The tension, the forbidden longing, the excitement when it finally happens, the TENSION , unbeatable

[mydearzero]

I've come to the conclusion that 9/10 times naps are actually the worst.

Okay, although I somewhat agree because I end up waking up more tired sometimes, but they offer a nice break in your day and encourage me to be productive later

[mydearzero]

What do you have to contribute to the great pineapple on pizza debate??? Bc unless the answer is "belongs their circumstantially," it's wrong. (Hawaiian pizza? yes. random smn else? No)

In my humble opinion, pineapple does NOT belong on pizza. I can't think of any other fruit I'd eat on pizza, why would pineapple be the exception??? But hey try before you deny

[mydearzero]

the WAY eddie died was bullshit but the FACT that eddie died is actually probably valid

(I agree with this, why do people keep sending me opinions I agree with, I'm gonna argue anyways) The WAY he died was actually good, his death was realistic in that not everybody is going to survive a situation like this, and his arch was made complete by him sacrificing himself. The FACT he died makes no sense because they need to STOP bringing in new characters and just killing them off

[mydearzero]

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS ONE

it's the whole point of my celebration, Mars. I can give you many reasons I'm not but I'll just take this L 😤

[mydearzero]

Daddy kink is the best kink

I mean.. It's kind of bland at this point, amirite? Besides, what about the people with mommy issues? And feet exist, hello 🙄🙄