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aprismaticodyssey · 16 days
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Agents of Lucifer Demo Updated: Ch. 6 and 7 now included!
I'm sorry for not uploading over the weekend. Personal issues came up. Anyhow, as always , please let me know of any errors, bugs, etc. I was going to include 8 as well but decided against it.
Click here to go straight to the demo.
For the Forum thread, click here.
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Reading List
to be updated constantly
Articles:
"Why Women Online Can’t Stop Reading Fairy Porn" by C.T. Jones for Rolling Stone
"They Called 911 for Help. Police and Prosecutors Used a New Junk Science to Decide They Were Liars." by Brett Murphy for ProPublica
"‘I Think My Husband Is Trashing My Novel on Goodreads!’" by Emily Gould for The Cut
"Woman in Retrograde" by Isabel Cristo for The Cut
"The unwanted Spanish soccer kiss is textbook male chauvinism. Don’t excuse it" by Moira Donegan for the Guardian
"I Started the Media Men List" by Moira Donegan for The Cut
"What Moira Donegan Did for Young Women Writers" by Jordana Rosenfeld for The Nation
"The Key Detail Missing From the Narrative About O.J. and Race" by Joel Anderson for Slate
"The Coiled Ferocity of Zendaya" by Matt Zoller Seitz for Vulture
"OJ Simpson died the comfortable death in old age that Nicole Brown should have had" by Moira Donegan for The Guardian
"Norm Macdonald Was the Hater O.J. Simpson Could Never Outrun" by Miles Klee for Rolling Stone
"Trans Stylists and Makeup Artists Are Reshaping Red Carpet Looks. Will They Get the Credit They’re Due?" by James Factora
"The ‘perfect Aryan’ child used in Nazi propaganda was actually Jewish" by Terrence McCoy for The Washington Post
"There Are Too Many Books; Or, Publishing Shouldn’t Be All About Quantity" by Maris Kreizman for Literary Hub
"An O.J. Juror on What The People v. O.J. Simpson Got Right and Wrong" by Ashley Reese for Vulture
"Super Cute Please Like" by Nicole Lipman for N + 1 Magazine
Essays:
Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture edited by Roxanne Gay
Creep: Accusations and Confessions by Myriam Gurba
"On Chappell Roan and Gen Z Pop" by Miranda Reinert
"In Memory of Nicole Brown Simpson" by Andrea Dworkin
"My Gender Is Dyke" by Alexandria Juarez for Autostraddle
"Columnists and Their Lives of Quiet Desperation" by Hamilton Nolan
Nonfiction:
Belabored: A Vindication of the Rights of Pregnant Women by Lyz Lenz
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life by Lyz Lenz
The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination by Sarah Schulman
Savage Appetites: Four True Stories of Women, Crime, and Obsession by Rachel Monroe
The Sexual Politics of Meat: A Feminist-Vegetarian Critical Theory by Carol J. Adams
Eros the Bittersweet by Anne Carson
Who Owns This Sentence? A History of Copyrights and Wrongs by David Bellos & Alexandre Montagu
The Once and Future Sex: Going Medieval on Women's Roles in Society by Eleanor Janega
Moby Dyke: An Obsessive Quest to Track Down the Last Remaining Lesbian Bars in America by Krista Burton
University of Nike: How Corporate Cash Bought American Higher Education by Joshua Hunt
What it Feels Like for a Girl by Paris Lees
Female Masculinity by J. Jack Halberstam
The Theory of Everything Else: A Voyage Into the World of the Weird by Dan Schreiber
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
Better Living Through Birding: Notes from a Black Man in the Natural World by Christian Cooper
Rivermouth: A Chronicle of Language, Faith, and Migration by Alejandra Oliva
Unlikeable Female Characters: The Women Pop Culture Wants You to Hate by Anna Bogutskaya
Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah
Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
The Lady from the Black Lagoon: Hollywood Monsters and the Lost Legacy of Milicent Patrick by Mallory O'Meara
Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
Eyeliner: A Cultural History by Zahra Hankir
Against Technoableism: Rethinking Who Needs Improvement by Ashley Shew
The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder by David Grann
Know My Name by Chanel Miller
Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe
Novelist as a Vocation by Haruki Murakami
Rape-Revenge Films: A Critical Study by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas
Fiction:
To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
Middlemarch by George Eliot
Just as You Are by Camille Kellogg
Just Happy to Be Here by Naomi Kanakia
The Misadventures of an Amateur Naturalist by Ceinwen Langley
Family Meal by Bryan Washington
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler
Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark
My Heart Is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones
An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera
Blackouts by Justin Torres
We Do What We Do in the Dark by Michelle Hart
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Less Is Lost by Andrew Sean Greer
The Faithless by C.L. Clark
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir
The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang
The Disenchantments by Nina LaCour
Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour
Bliss Montage by Ling Ma
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee
The Institute by Stephen King
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Frankenstein: Junji Ito Story Collection by Junji Ito
Her Body and Other Parties: Stories by Carmen Maria Machado
Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart
The Dark Forest by Liu Cixin
Snuff by Terry Pratchett
Travelers Along the Way: A Robin Hood Remix by Aminah Mae Safi
Only a Monster by Vanessa Len
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tychsen19tychsen · 2 years
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bryant30sigmon · 2 years
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hermes crocodile bag
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A history of tennis fashion and skirts: Why are they still such a must?
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Serena Williams competing at the U.S Open 2018. (Photo: TPN/Getty Images)
On the first night of the U.S. Open, Serena Williams took the high road and responded to her catsuit ban by wearing a fabulous black tutu.
The French Tennis Federation president, Bernard Giudicelli, recently said Williams’s Wakanda-inspired catsuit (her words) “will no longer be accepted,” during an interview with Tennis magazine. “One must respect the game and the place.”
Discussion soon erupted on what type of tennis attire is considered appropriate or not. Tennis legend Billie Jean King chimed in on the conversation, slamming French Open officials for the ban. “The policing of women’s bodies must end,” she wrote in a Twitter post. “The ‘respect’ that’s needed is for the exceptional talent ⁦@serenawilliams⁩ brings to the game. Criticizing what she wears to work is where the true disrespect lies.” 
Williams didn’t let the controversy deter her from winning her first U.S. Open match against Magda Linette on Monday. For the occasion, she paired her black tutu with an edgy leather moto jacket, asymmetrical leotard, and white sneakers. The look is part of the new “Queen” collection inspired by the tennis star and made in a collaboration between Virgil Abloh, the acclaimed Off-White designer, and Nike.
With this look, the 23-time Grand Slam winner continues her stride as a statement-making fashion star on the tennis court, and, as history shows — she’s not alone. Anne White was the first player to wear a catsuit on the court, which caused quite a stir at Wimbledon in 1985. Unconventional tennis fashions have been worn by male players too. A notable example is Andre Agassi, who wore denim shorts to the U.S. Open in 1988. Serena Williams longtime rival, Maria Sharapova, explored creative fashion as well, wearing a tuxedo-style blouse at Wimbledon in 2008.
Despite these fashion-making moments, the iconic tennis skirt continues to be the key sartorial piece in the game. Above, a look at how tennis fashion has changed over the years and why the skirt endures.
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Players in the Pavilion in University Park, Oxford, circa 1900. (Photo: Past Pix/SSPL/Getty Images)
During the 1900s, long-sleeved blouses and long maxi skirts were the style of choice for tennis players. “Tennis started out in the Victorian era in England as a lawn sport for the aristocracy,” said Ben Rothenberg, author of The Stylish Life: Tennis, on CNN.
Modest tennis fashion dominated the era, as seen below on a tennis player who wears a pussy-bow blouse with ballooned sleeves, long white skirt, and white sneakers, all covering up nearly every inch of skin.
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Female tennis player circa 1900. (Photo: Getty Images)
The 1920s saw a loosening of dress codes with the introduction of sleeveless blouses and higher hemlines. Pleats also became a popular stylistic choice.
Here, Olympic and Wimbledon champion Suzanne Lenglen wears a knee-length pleated skirt. She accessorizes the look with a soft head wrap.
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Suzanne Lenglen (Photo: Hulton-Deutsch Collection/Corbis via Getty Images)
In the 1930s, skirts and hemlines continued to hit the knee, but pantyhose was no longer required in the dress code. Women began to wear polo shorts or another alternative: drop waist dresses or those cinched at the waist.
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Cilly Aussem, left, after defeating Hilde Krahwinkel for the women’s singles title at Wimbledon in 1931. (Photo: S.R. Gaiger/Topical Press Agency/Getty)
By the 1940s, women embraced shorts for greater mobility on the court, but they still kept them classy (of course). Here, American tennis player Pauline Betz wears a short-sleeve blouse tucked into her high-waisted, soft pleated shorts and a belt to tie it all together.
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Pauline Betz of the United States at Wimbledon in 1946. (Photo: Central Press/Getty Images)
In the 1950s, when Marilyn Monroe’s famous windy skirt photograph became an iconic moment in film history, tennis players like Lea Percioli bent the rules of traditional tennis fashion.
Her style on the court was often featured in the press, where Percioli embraced short skirts and dresses, even if that meant showing more than she planned on.
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Glamorous Italian tennis star Lea Percioli in 1955. (Photo: Getty Images)
By the 1960s, mod fashion was front and center. Women took a more playful approach, embracing sleeveless tops and shirts with stripes, gingham, and other graphic prints like those seen here on  Virginia Wade and Lorna Greveille-Collins of England and Marlys Burel of France.
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From left, Virginia Wade, Lorna Greville-Collins, and Marlys Burel. (Photo: George Freston/Fox Photos/Getty Images)
The 1970s was all about psychedelia. Colorful prints and patterns dominated the fashion scene, and this influenced tennis fashions, too, as exhibited here in a look worn by Martina Navratilova.
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Martina Navratilova at Wimbledon in 1977. (Photo: Tony Duffy/Allsport)
The 1980s witnessed a controversial look by American player Anne White, who wore a white spandex catsuit by designer Ted Tinling during her first match at Wimbledon. Little did she know that Serena Williams would sport a similar catsuit at the French Open more than 30 years later.
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Anne White in her revolutionary one-piece. (Photo: Getty Images)
The 1990s were all about bright colors, loud prints, and plenty of scrunchies on the tennis court. German champ Steffi Graf wears a colorful floral skirt with a matching polo shirt and white scrunchie in her hair at the French Open in 1995.
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Steffi Graf (Photo: Clive Brunskill/AllSport)
By the 2000s, brands like Adidas and Nike were emblazoned on tennis outfits of the top athletes. Here, Russian player Anna Kournikova wears head-to-toe Adidas.
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Anna Kournikova (Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images)
In 2008, tennis champions Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova pushed the envelope of traditional tennis attire at Wimbledon, a bastion of traditionalism. Williams opted for a white trench coat, while Sharapova wore a tuxedo-style pleated blouse tucked into white shorts — and both looks were designed by Nike.
Unfortunately, Sharapova wasn’t able to wear her new look for too long, as she was eliminated in the second round. Her winning opponent, Alla Kudryavtseva, had this to say of Sharapova’s look, “I was pleased to beat her: I didn’t like her outfit.”
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Serena Williams (Photo: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)
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Maria Sharapova (Photo: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
In 2010, tennis fashion took a more scandalous approach when Venus Williams wore a lingerie-like, sheer black-lace dress with red piping, designed by Williams for her fashion label, EleVen.
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Venus Williams (Photo: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
In 2011, Venus Williams continued her fashion stride, sporting atypical tennis attire.
At the Australian Open, Williams sported a yellow woven, cut-out tank with a splash of color.
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Venus Williams (Photo: Julian Finney/Getty Images)
In 2015, Maria Sharapova traded in her 2008 tuxedo shirt for a classic stripe shirt over what would become known as the “Nike Maria Paris dress,” an adjoining white racerback tank top connected to a pleated navy mini.
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Maria Sharapova (Photo: Clive Mason/Getty Images)
In 2016, Serena Williams sported a classic all-white look in deference to Wimbledon’s all-white policy.
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Serena Williams (Photo: Lindsey Parnaby/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)
In 2017, 24-year-old Sloane Stephens won the U.S. Open women’s singles competition wearing a sherbet-orange tank dress and matching visor and shoes by Under Armour.
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Sloane Stephens (Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images)
In 2018, Serena Williams debuts her Wakanda-inspired black catsuit at the French Open, which was designed to help prevent blood clots, a health issue she has been prone to.
The catsuit came under scrutiny by French Tennis Federation president Bernard Giudicelli, who recently said the style would “no longer be accepted.”
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Serena Williams at the 2018 French Open. (Photo: Xin Li/Getty Images)
In the wake of this controversy, Williams debuted a brand-new look for the U.S. Open on August 27: a black tutu skirt, made by Off-White and Nike.
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Serena Williams (Photo: TPN/Getty Images)
Read More from Yahoo Lifestyle:
• Did Meghan Markle inspire pal Serena Williams’s $90 ‘Royal Duchess’ hoodie?  • Serena Williams inspires mothers to share their parenting stories ahead of the U.S. Open  • Venus Williams expands fashion label into plus-size: ‘Representation matters’
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day. 
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wdfwfe · 3 years
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wrupowqhrf · 3 years
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surfcultureitalia · 3 years
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Nike ACG presents: THE SEARCH from Anton du Preez on Vimeo.
The new SU’19 ACG line has been released into the wild. Designed and tested in Oregon, USA, we outfitted three city kids and brought them to the forests of Oregon in search of ACG’s biggest fan.
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Colorist: Marshall Plante Executive Producer, Color: Natalie Westerfield Color Assistant: Manny Viñas Barreras
VFX: Claudia Perez & Daniel Gold
Production & Post Production Company: Picture Farm Color House: Olio Creative
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lauramccairn1405 · 4 years
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Photographer Research - Tyler Shields
Tyler Shields, born April 29th in Jacksonville FL is an American photographer, director, screenwriter and former professional skater. He has earned the title of “Hollywood’s favourite photographer”. His career began with him posting his photographs on a website called MySpace. Soon after he began doing gallery shows when Fraser Kee Scott discovered his work. His images often incorporate violence, such as his image about police brutality posted in May 2020. He has also created campaigns for brands including Nike, Adidas and Playboy, and in 2013 he published a book of his work titled The Dirty Side of Glamour. He lives and currently works in Los Angeles, CA.
What I like about his work is that his photographs, in particular the ones about violence all have a meaning and show a story about what is/has happened in the world creating an awareness for what is currently going on. The colours in a lot of his images contain a very 1960’s colour palette. The colours tie in with a lot of his images like the ones about Marilyn Monroe’s death. These images have green, gold, yellow and orange but seem as though they have been edited to create a more vibrant hue.
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perhandafasa · 4 years
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Chaussure Nike Air Max 270 React pour Femme – Rouge Nike
Nike Air Max 270 React Damenschuh – Rot Nike
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Chaussure Nike Air Max 270 React pour Femme – Rouge Nike
Indépendamment p ce que Marilyn Monroe a dit; les talons sont le meilleur ami d’une femme! Le bon form delaware chaussure peut renforcer votre confiance, transformer votre search et faire tourner les têtes dès que vous entrez dans la pièce. La seule issue est: lesquelles vous conviennent le mieux? En ce qui concerne les talons, les allées commerçantes sont plus larges que l’on pourrait penser. Que vous recherchiez des escarpins extravagants, des escarpins élégants ou des bottes élégantes, vous pouvez être sûkiminas que la setting vous comblera. Lorsque vous choisissez votre prochaine paire p chaussures, ce sont les différents forms p talons que vous devez connaître.
Types delaware talons
Manhunter plupart d’entre nous ne peuvent probablement distinguer que deux ou trois types de talons différents. Cependant, il ymca durante a durante fait beaucoup plus. Sans le savoir, manhunter plupart d’entre eux ont probablement déjà croisé votre chemin. Put mettre votre setting A-B-C à jour, nous avons répertorié ci-dessous les types p talons les plus courants.
Talon carré
Les talons carrés ne sont pas seulement tremendous élégants, mais un talon solide a également tendance à répartir le poids p votre corps différemment des talons plus fins. Ainsi, ils prennent us peu de pression sur l’avant de votre pied, ce qui se traduit level une position plus confortable.
Talon carré
Talon cubain
Le talon cubain s’inspire des garçons. Ils sont généralement delaware taille courte à moyenne et se trouvent sur les bottines, les richelieus, les mocassins et autres chaussures fermées. Bien que le talon soit très solide en apparence, il peut présenter une légère conicité p haut durante bas.
Talon cubain
Talons virgule
Ce talon à manhattan project function est, comme child nom l’indique, en forme delaware virgule. Sa forme delaware croissant inhabituelle est une déclaration à la setting et elle est incroyablement accrocheuse.
Talon virgule
Talon conique
Le talon conique est défini level une foundation épaisse et solide put un help sûkiminas et une pointe étroite et délicate. Les talons coniques peuvent être utilisés fill toutes sortes de chaussures à talons et peuvent être delaware différentes hauteurs. Ce model p talon est polyvalent et intemporel.
Talon conique
Talon décoratif
B a-t-il quelque chose de plus rêveur qu’un talon joliment décoré? C’est incroyable ce qui se passe lorsque les créateurs p chaussures laissent libre cours à leur imagination. Si seulement nous pouvions porter delaware jolies petites choses comme ça tous les jours delaware la semaine.
Talon décoratif
Talon évasé
Promote comme les trousers évasés, ce talon a gagné durante popularité au cours delaware notre période delaware floraison préféréelizabeth, les années 70. Les talons évasés se caractérisent level une foundation plus great qui s’élargit progressivement vers le bas.
Talon évasé Talon français
Le talon français, également connu sous le nom p talon Louis ou talon pompadour, est une variante du talon de bobine. Market comme ce dernier, le talon français présente us haut big, un milieu cid et une partie inférieure rapidement incurvée. P plus, ils sont généralement du côté le plus court.
Talon français
Talon haut
Les talons hauts se présentent sous toutes sortes de formes et p hauteurs. Chaque talon d’au moins quatre pouces ou plus peut tomber dans cette catégorie. Les forms de chaussures les plus courants portés avec us talon plus haut sont les escarpins, les talons aiguilles et les sandales à talons.
talons hauts
Talon delaware chaton
Les talons de chaton sont parfaits si vous n’êtes pas à l’aise de marcher sur des talons plus hauts, ou si vous êtes du côté le plus great mais que vous ne voulez pas vous abstenir delaware porter delaware jolis talons à trigger delaware cela. Ce type delaware talon est généralement mince et toujours inférieur à trois pouces.
talons delaware chaton
Talon moyen
Les talons moyens ont le bureau parfait et manhunter hauteur delaware tous les jours. Ils mesurent entre trois et quatre pouces delaware hauteur, ce qui durante fait des chaussures de travail idéales car ils améliorent votre posture sans mettre trop p pression sur manhattan project plante des pieds.
talon moyen
Talon mince
Les talons fins sont us choix pretty fill une soirée en ville ou une event habillée. Le talon b et haut ajoute delaware manhattan project longueur visuelle à vos jambes et du ressort à votre pas.
talon mince
Talons p bobine
Ce form p talon décoratif est originaire d’Europe à l’époque baroque et rococo. Sa forme p sablier ressemble à manhattan project bobine d’une vieille unit à filer, d’où child nom.
Talon delaware bobine
Talon carré
Les talons carrés, similaires aux talons carrés, sont généralement du côté le plus épais et p forme rectangulaire. Ce model a l’air très elegant en combinaison avec une paire delaware pompes pointues, mais on le trouve également souvent sur les bottines et autres modèles p chaussures.
talon carré
Talon cubain épais
Le talon cubain épais est une variation plus trapue du talon cubain. Ils sont couramment utilisés put les bottes hautes, les bottines et d’autres types delaware chaussures robustes.
Talon cubain épais
Talon très haut
Les talons très hauts peuvent atteindre des hauteurs allant jusqu’à huit pouces ou plus. Vraiment, le ciel est manhattan project limite. Ces chaussures sont généralement équipées d’une plateforme à l’avant afin p ne pas trop étirer le pied et p rendre l’expérience de marche plus confortable.
Talons très hauts
Différents forms delaware chaussures à talons
En ce qui concerne les talons, il n’y a pas de règles pour savoir quels types vont avec quel form de chaussures. Il n’est donc pas surprenant que vous trouviez toutes sortes delaware combinaisons qui vous reviennent des étagères delaware l’allée des chaussures. Que vous recherchiez des escarpins épais ou des bottines à talons fins, il b en a serve tous les goûts.
Bottines
Une paire delaware bottines cool appartient à manhattan project foundation de manhunter garde-robe p chaque
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aprismaticodyssey · 1 month
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Agents of Lucifer Demo Update: Ch4 and 5 Now Up!
Yeah, the coding issue was an easy fix. Except for my tired brain, ugh. But, hey, at least now you can meet the ROs, assuming it all works properly. Please do. PLEASE. Click this to give it a go!
Please report any issues and let me know what you think!
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Mariah Carey Shares Sweet Throwback Pic of Her Twins on Their Birthday: 'I Love You Both More Each Day'
Happy birthday Moroccan and Monroe Cannon!
Mariah Carey's twins, Moroccan and Monroe, turned six years old on Sunday and the singer took to Instagram to share a super sweet throwback pic to celebrate the milestone.
WATCH: Nick Cannon Weighs in on Mariah Carey and Bryan Tanaka's Split -- Did He Come Between Them?
The photo shows Carey holding the twins swaddled in her arms when they were still newborns.
"I can't believe it's been six years since you two came into this world to the live version of Fantasy…" the 47-year-old singer wrote on Instagram, referencing her 1995 mega-hit song.
"I love you both more each day," she added. "You are the light of my life #Supernatural #HappyBirthday #RocnRoe."
Carey's ex-husband and father of the twins, Nick Cannon, also posted a throwback snap for the occasion, sharing a pic of newborn Moroccan and Monroe in matching Nike beanies.
"Seems like I just took this picture the other day!! Somebody stop the time from flying by..." he wrote.
NEWS: Mariah Carey Treats Kids to a Day at Disney
Despite their split in 2014, Carey and Cannon remain on good terms. The "Dream Lover" singer recently shared photos of the former couple reading bedtime stories to their children.
Check out the sweet pic in the video below.
brightcove
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airoasis · 5 years
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Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less
New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/
Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less
never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.
Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.
And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk
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batterymonster2021 · 5 years
Text
Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less
New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/everything-wrong-with-captain-marvel-in-16-minutes-or-less/
Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel In 16 Minutes Or Less
never much like the Stanley cameos and definitely don’t like logos but this is goddamn touching but while we’re on the subject of opening logos for movies let’s frame it this way imagine buying the new Taylor Swift album but before you can hear me you have to first listen to 20 seconds of a universal music group audio jingle it would probably be rocking and full of tight harmonies but it would still forever be 20 seconds of norway’s standing between you and your music that’s what opening studio logos do for movies place my hands so angry oh my god they give us the name of the city the description of that city’s importance and then a third line with an utterly incomprehensible series of letter and number characters do you know what time it is Jesus Marvel movies young Dumbledore young Pope Sherlock Holmes is there any beloved institution that Jude Law hasn’t infiltrated anything you know funny how I was thinking the same thing about this chatty friendly fight scene which happens in every movie there’s nothing dangerous warrior an emotion not even a nuclear weapon a landmine sharp sword sniper’s bullet jagged rocks meat from a plant that once had an e.coli outbreak control your impulses so easy miss start using this there’s so much goddamn pedantic mansplaining in the beginning of this movie that I fast forwarded to the end where Carol blasts the Balrog and watched it three times in a row future VR requires artificial tendrils that get to know you better than your spouse just because it looks kind of cool doesn’t make it practical so the burrito supreme searches your thoughts and becomes the person that you’re closest to before communicating I mean contact got murdered for doing that at the end of the movie so long the scrolls have invaded yet another border planet this time Topher already lost me dude if you think for one minute I’m getting all this down plus the three or four other names organizations planets he mentions in this briefing you sadly overestimate my ability to give it well marvel do you read me anybody copy as technologically advanced as they are at a Cree or apparently still reliant on 1990s cellphone reception this is some dusty furry dust things suspense I’m no expert but maybe if you spent less time screaming you’d be able to do more scrolling no one will be seated during the bunch of old portion of the movie some stuff is happening just try and keep track of the purple in the green they’re on different sides I think movie does a great job advertising the Air Force you don’t now the movie does pile on a bit heavy with this stuff about her constantly being told she’s not good enough I get that people are told that but in movie form maybe we don’t need to see it a dozen times to get the point okay fine we need some back story on why Carroll’s so driven to be the best but this exposition brain probe really feels more like a Nike commercial than an MCU film okay wait can you change the way the camera of your memory tilts so that you can pick up fine details let’s just like the zoom and enhance cliche but for your brain dr.
Wendy Lawson that’s her so Carol can hear the scrolls that are digging around in her memories and she in memory reacts to it you can’t change an event by remembering it right fright she got knocked out cold and captured on that planet with a single blast of one of these space Tasers now she’s impervious to them that’s not exactly full-sized so I guess we can call this a little helm scream in case you thought this movie’s 90s references we’re gonna be subtle she crashed lands into a king blockbuster huh movies playing this is a visual gag but was Carol seriously gonna immediately shoot any non-threatening presents in this environment what if this were the janitor doing a late-night cleaning this top shelf here goes hudsucker proxy hook something else that I’m pretty sure is hamburger hill then first night then jumping jack flash jr.
And just cause I worked at three different blockbusters in my lifetime and you could fire four there you have one job and I think half these movies on the Shelf star Sean Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger how likely in 1995 is it that a blockbuster would be advertising babe with a giant poster and standee when that was only released in August of that year the church wasn’t coming out on video at this point honestly we take care of those dirty looks is quite simply the worst dry-cleaning advertising slogan I could even fathom why does a dry-cleaning service even need a slogan look at you be better off just writing your hours of operation talk about some nuclear yadda yadda how the hell does outdated 90s tech and a payphone and turn into a communicator with the ability to send signals to her people millions of miles away in space all did it book work sure she could make a space phone out of that but she couldn’t bypass Ma Bell in the ill communication once it’s real aliens find the earth to be way less than acceptable cliche okay if this call is urgent enough to use the sirens why not take the cops and shield until after daybreak to respond why was shield alerted at all it’s a broken window in a fucking blockbuster okay this d aging technology has officially gotten creepy as hell I’ll be honest Jana fired Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome here and I am terrified of how that technology will definitely be used in the future this is the most convenient Road near a train situation any city planner ever cooked up in pursuit and she should be easy to track considering she’ll be the only person in Los Angeles to take the train sure Stanley could have been reading Kevin Smith’s mole rat script in 1995 the movie came out on October 20th 1995 so this could be early in the year when it was about to get shot or something the problem is the record story just left Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness being advertised here is coming soon or already out came out October 23rd 1995 and while it’s insane that those two things were only three days apart Stan Lee would not have been reading the script in October unless he was just getting nostalgic about his cameo for the residents of LA to jump to an old lady’s needs and all but how is this even possible you’re telling me that after all the kicking Carol’s done three regular ask commuters could temporarily restrain her fight chase on top of a moving train I feel like I’ve never seen that before except always of course it is tunnels the only logical choice once you’ve opted for fight on top of a train what I’m still here at the blockbuster Coulson saw fury take off forever ago so why is he just calling it also look I think the young ending effect they’re using on Sam Jackson is amazing but they must have used all the resources on that because Clark Craig’s face makes Jeff Bridges and Tron Legacy look like fine art look movie no one in a major city subway terminal would look this hard and long and a girl in a weird costume subway terminals are beacons for folks in weird costumes I rode a train once with spider-man and Marilyn Monroe and a guy that look exactly like Richard Grieco only I don’t think that was a costume I think that was just Richard Grieco there you go now that no one can tell that’s an alien no one will ask questions about the body with a jacket thrown over its face inside the wrecked car ah cool the doohickey that the scroll dropped on the train gets inserted into the whatchamacallit and immediately displays plot convenient footage perfectly edited for maximum exposition alta vista internet cafes modems big computer monitors wasn’t 1995 hilarious but seriously how would carol have the first goddamn clue how to work this fad and sure the motorcycle guy was an asshole and probably deserved it but what did this vintage boutique ever do to anyone hey how’s your eye that’s a fine yeah they’re not gonna hem handedly try and shoehorn a reason for Fury’s eye patch into this movie I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description but instead of immediately following up on that lead I’m gonna waste valuable time at shield espousing this clunky dialogue might even drink a tear wine and stop by Sam Goody’s to pick up a jagged little pill CD before I act on any of this information toggling Scrolls can only some recent memories of their host bodies that is literally the definition of a stupid restriction to put on an ability just for plot or hero reasons why should they even be able to access any memories if all they’re doing is copycatting where are you born Huntsville Alabama does this do Carroll except to provide a little more backstory for fury is she able to verify this bolt in any way Ruth you’re not a scroll Carol is a dick – what if this is a jukebox from the 90s has to be 30% ac/dc CDs 40% Tom Petty CDs 29% journey CDs and 1% Van Morrison CD is that a communicator yeah state of the art – wig agent which would in no way and work in a bunker like this but I’m gonna keep making these nostalgic references as long as Marvel pays me to do so Oh how did this cat get into this official government covert facility and did they know he was a flirt come if so why is he out roaming the halls hey that’s exactly how Eminem writes his lyrics I’ll assume Lawson was writing the follow-up to Stan I want to question her along that sounds well evil and/or dirty all I know is we take them in to dead or alive dead or alive yeah agreed that’s excessive it makes no sense unless your bosses bosses a scroll poly these are the loudest lights I’ve ever heard can you imagine the constant jump scares you’d have to endure if you were collating these records the CGI cat is a king abomination and yes the actress is allergic and they had to do a CGI cat in some places but just take twenty thousand dollars of the money you’re spending on unifying Sam Jackson and put it into realistic in the cat god damn also they ran into that cat on level five in the storage room and somehow it ran several floors away from that position and got into the hangar and onto a prototype aircraft that they would eventually use Maria Rambo so how do we get to Louisiana I’m sorry but the amount of information they’ve gleaned from a few seconds of glancing through the records like Maria’s exact address is such bull that this movie is actively starting to stink what is Ronan looked like a character from mist here Carol appeared almost lifelike on the hologram earlier and even in full color his accuser tech still using dial-up or something she flashes little moments but I can’t tell what’s real I’ll tell you what’s real someone on this movie set design team thinks this single mother living alone with her daughter keeps a bowl on the table with 16 lemons in it that’s real that happened you’d better come take a look at this cliche that was all that survived the crash well that’s a lie you’re telling me a prototype aircraft crashed and every single piece of it disintegrated into dust including the rest of this dog tag but not this tiny corner of dog tag you know you really should be kinder to your neighbors you never know when you’re gonna need to borrow some sugar this is pretty hilarious but it’s also ridiculous to think that the scrolls stopped off at a fast-food joint to pick up some burgers and shakes on the way to Louisiana and how would you know about the sugar borrowing habits of earthly suburban Knights this soon into your stay on the planet that was before on you you uh before I knew what made you different from me honest Talos had to have gotten this information before the confrontation at the Pegasus base since that’s where he heard the recorder so if he knew that then why did he try to kill Furies ass he knew they were working together and now he’s all peaceful I actually really like this characters turn but given the sequence of events it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense what’s happening it’s loading windows 95 okay so Jude Law shot Lawson before she could blow up the ship but it takes like 15 seconds for him to show up at a distance in all this smoke plus their obstructed somewhat by the crash ship and they’re on the down slope of a hill how did he know where to aim Carol got her powers by being fantastic forward by the warp engine but the energy only hit her despite yon raw and about the same distance away she assumed his power she’s coming with us okay I’d maybe buy that this recording spurred Carol’s memory to recall the crash but she’s being unconscious here so how would she know this part quick question why did they leave the main house and all go to the one day from collapse cabin to listen to the audio it makes a nice shot but it makes no sense from a human being standpoint is this houses only computer out in the decrepit barn why does Talos still have Keller’s jacket on we’ve seen that when they morph into other humans they already have their clothes on but now that he’s turned back into his natural shape that jacket should be gone right she wanted you to help us find the core and why the hell didn’t she tell Carol about the reason for the mission in the first place I know it would have been weird to come out as an alien but they were already in top-secret mode this withholding of information both makes about as much sense as what happened to Poe in the last Jedi did you hear me man this depiction of the friendship between two strong independent women that is emotional but not corny is long overdue and it’s about goddamn time that Marvel showed it so I’m gonna take us in off because I’m totally a social justice warrior or virtue signal or whatever the latest term that’s complimentary but is being used to be derogatory take it off this moonlight shot makes no sense the pole at the bottom right of the shot shows a shadow that matches up with the moon’s location but then the spaceship thing that veers flew here has a shadow that suggests another even stronger light source off-screen to the right when they were handing out kids they gave up a toughest one lieutenant trouble so is everything cool now like KanCare remember everything about her life on earth black box recording was fucking magic what purpose does this function of the spacesuit serve like some cream was almost finished designing it and the supreme intelligence poked its head in and was like don’t forget to add the unnecessary color wheel why did they bring the can captivate this cat will lead her freak out on fury and cut his face but he doesn’t want to do it here in zero gravity which is baffling because I’ve owned a cat before a lawnmower can freak them out a clap of thunder can freak them out suspending in zero gravity but but have them clawing out the eyeballs of all the motherfuckers nearby until they were on solid footing the cloaking activated holy balls is there anything this magical wrist doohickey can’t do can it order takeout purchase ebooks access free porn ah Who am I kidding of course it can access free porn in her note she called us a tesseract you know I’m fine with the timeline of the tesseract the idea that Howard Stark helped found Pegasus in the 80s and handed it over to this project is totally okay I’m just tired of the fucking tesseract it shows up and seemingly every movie being on tesseract and stuff she’s a pinball wizard it’s gotta be a twist a pinball wizard has got such a supple wrist evil dude picked up the cat carried it all the way here and just tosses it casually and that is a ton of wasted effort what did you do to your uniform he got in her head just like we thought when Carol’s been calling with updates constantly since she’s been on earth and there’s no way they would know that the scroll to flipped his jacket it’s killer by the way does the supreme intelligence seriously have the bandwidth and the inclination for pithy one-liners species flirty threat hi so I’ll calmly place a cat’s eyes muzzle over its mouth and I just happen to be carrying on my person without us you’re only human flesh you may be you’re only human to me mistakes this montage of various Carol’s getting up after falling down is excessive and on the nose and over-the-top anjala you were reborn fierce because every sci-fi movie apparently needs an alien race to miss read something and call it something else like Star Trek with Vedra Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes with kolima this goes on for some time I will say this about the movie it waits until the perfect time to unveil Carol’s true powers and this is a goosebumps inducing moment so it absolutely deserves us in off having said that this reveals sets up the same issue as DC has with Superman Carol is all-powerful she hasn’t discovered everything she could do yet but she’s pretty much unkillable now and future movies and game mm we’ll have to do a ton of hand waving and marginalization for her to be included at all into the rest of the MCU okay let playing on just a girl during the climactic scene of this movie that’s more on the nose than anything ever literally the only more on the nose song you could have chosen is Meredith Brooks bitch or maybe Barbie girl or Cyndi Lauper’s well the movie never explains it or even suggests it but jaan raghav errantly has the ability to manipulate metal like magneto and I needs more backstory than anything in this movie that you actually gave a backstory fool god damn huh did that happen the movie is directly contradicting its own previous implications about the power differential here oh they’re dogfighting in the canyons just like an independent Sky Captain and the world of to marvel dude Carroll may be all-powerful but does she also have a GPS built into her headpiece how the hell did she know exactly where yawn Rhonda DUP she didn’t even see him crash poop to me you can beat me this is a great moment but it was also super fucking obvious that it was gonna go down like this this is basically Indy taking out the sword guy with the gun and Raiders of the Lost Ark motherf lurkin I’ll be back before you know it she will not for emergencies only okay and real emergencies too not like of an alien species is invading one of your most populous cities and your shadow government is about to nuke the god of it as a result and really it would take a giant stroke of some luck and some space gravity to avoid total annihilation you could totally handle that you think you can find others like her we found her and we weren’t even looking okay the logic here is stunning and yes they do end up finding more heroes but it’s not because they already existed Carol was a one-in-a-billion fluke banner still hasn’t tested gamma radiation yet Tony has to be kidnapped and build a suit in a cave black widow is just a human badass and Hawkeye is decent too okay with arrows just how amazing with this cat vomit scene be if we didn’t know where the tesseract went during the sequence on lawson’s lab it might have felt worth sitting through the 12 minutes of credits might have there I said it I like a cat ah I’m just a free we have Vincent yeah we happy your father and I were just discussing his day at work why don’t you tell our daughter about it honey Janie today I quit my job and then I told my boss to go himself and then i blackmailed them for almost $60,000 past nice pair your father seems to think this kind of behavior something to be proud of and your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a king prisoner while she keeps my in a mason jar under the sink tell the supreme intelligence that I’m coming to end it you Tom I’m coming and hell’s coming with me before we get started does anyone want to get out you want to play blind man go walk with the shepherd me my eyes are wide just talk
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gyrlversion · 5 years
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Celebs try to out-camp each other at wild Met Gala
NEW YORK (AP) — Cardi B swept by in a stunning red quilted dress accentuated with a matching sequin headpiece, feathers and a train that took up much of the pink carpet, Jared Leto was accompanied by his own (fake) head and Katy Perry came as a candled chandelier at the crazy, campy Met Gala on Monday night.
Lady Gaga used the carpet as a runway and a changing station — earning giggles and claps from Anna Wintour — and Tiffany Haddish brought fried chicken in a plastic bag as many of the A-list guests worked the camp theme to the max. That included Zendaya, whose Cinderella Tommy Hilfiger dress went aglow with the wave of a magic wand. She dropped one of her see-through slippers on the way up the long staircase at the Metropolitan Museum of Art for the cocktail hour.
Also princessy, of the saucy variety: Nicki Minaj in a short pink Prabal Gurung dress with yards and yards to her train, the last star to walk the carpet.
Perry, whose look was created by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, said she wanted to be “of the light,” though she appeared concerned her heavy looking headpiece would topple as she smiled and walked precariously up the stairs, designer Diane von Furstenberg briefly in her orbit as Lady Liberty.
Perry, Bella Hadid dished, “had to be trucked here in a UPS truck.” (She changed from chandelier to a fully loaded Moschino burger for dinner).
Emily Ratajkowski channeled Cher in a barely there silver dress by Dundas and wing-like headpiece with feathers and hanging crystal strands by the House of Malakai. Tom Ford dressed Gemma Chan, who wore a custom headdress inspired by Elizabeth Taylor, and Versace created a jaw-dropping sparkler for Jennifer Lopez. She wore a 129.48-carat purple and diamond sapphire by Harry Winston around her neck.
Lupita Nyong’o spent four hours getting ready in a rainbow, cool chick getup, her hair high and packed with golden Afro picks. Leto wore a red caftan with jewel loops, cradling his long-haired macabre version of himself, and Tracee Ellis Ross posed inside a gold picture frame attached to the front of her black dress. She noted it’s detachable for the dinner hour, thank goodness.
Regina King, in a copper sequin Oscar de la Renta gown with a large shoulder embellishment, said she wasn’t ready to go full camp, so she stuck to high lacquered hair.
“So, glamour is camp,” the Oscar-winner said. “Maybe next year the comfort level will have expanded.”
The 71st annual gala hit a high point early with Lady Gaga working the pink carpet to its fullest in long golden eyelashes and a huge fuchsia dress, peeling off layer after layer until she was down to a bra, panties and fishnet stockings.
Billy Porter went Egyptian-esque sun god in gold wings and a chain head piece by the design duo the Blonds, carried onto the carpet by shirtless men in gold pants as he lay on top of a black throne.
“Camp is the art of being extra and I’ve always been extra,” he laughed. “I’m from the theater so it’s easy for me.”
Brandon Maxwell, who created Gaga’s reveal, helped her navigate the stairs as she posed with several helpers. Maxwell undressed her further, revealing a black strapless asymmetrical ballgown underneath with a huge side bustle. Then she undressed again to show off a pink dress reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” walking up and down the carpet.
But she wasn’t done. Moments later, she was down to a glittering bra and panties set, with huge platform shoes.
Gaga is a hard act to follow but Serena Williams, one of her co-hosts, did her best in a neon yellow flowing custom Versace gown adorned with leaves, Nike sneakers on her feet. She was one of several athletes to attend, including Cam Newton, Dwyane Wade with wife Gabrielle Union, and Tom Brady with Gisele Bundchen on his arm.
Colin Kaepernick also made an appearance wearing Pyer Moss.
This year’s gala theme, “Camp: Notes on Fashion,” was inspired by a seminal 1964 essay by Susan Sontag in which she describes the phenomenon as something that shan’t be talked about: “To talk about Camp is therefore to betray it.”
The theme is chosen for the Costume Institute’s spring exhibition and gala guests are encouraged to take it on.
Karlie Kloss wore a custom gold Dapper Dan-Gucci cocktail dress; singer Anderson .Paak, wearing Gucci, was fanboyed on the carpet by Ferragamo-dressed Taron Egerton, who was asked what his upcoming film character, Elton John, would think of the night’s vibe: “He kind of invented it, right?”
Haddish, in a black-and-silver tiger stripe “Pimperella” Michael Kors pantsuit with wide bells at the ankles, a glitzy hat on her head, said she vowed not to go snackless this year, hence the fried chicken.
“I bring my own snacks because last year I was starving and I learned my lesson,” she said. Of the theme, she declared: “Camping means no panties!” She noted that during her broke days, “I used to buy knock-off Michael Kors everything. Now here I am several years later wearing Michael Kors, for me, designed for me.”
Harry Styles offered a tad of see-through via his custom Gucci organza shirt with black lace, donning a single bee earing and heeled booties. Kacey Musgraves, in custom Moschino, was a proper pink Barbie with long platinum hair, while Gigi Hadid walked with the designer of her look, Kors, offering a silver cat woman style in a swirl-pattern jumpsuit, long coat and helmet-like hat, with long spiked white eyelashes.
Awkwafina breezed through in trophy gold, accompanied by designer Joseph Altuzarra, while others in garish greens, animal prints and metallics soaked up the theme. Some played it safe in more traditional carpet looks, like Hailey Bieber in a lovely, tight pink dress with a daring — but not terribly campy — low back.
Also not particularly camp, and not particularly high-fashion, for that matter: Gwyneth Paltrow in a loose ruffle-neck pale yellow gown by Chloe.
Naomi Campbell wore pink with a long, feathered cape, lace leggings and low barely-there neckline. And Joan Collins, perhaps the queen of camp, posed with her in a white puffy gown reminiscent of Scarlet O’Hara.
Kim Kardashian West was dewy in tight, tight, tight couture Thierry Mugler, husband Kanye West stone-faced silent at her side in a Dickey’s zip jacket. Sister Kylie Jenner went for purple from her loose dyed hair to her big feather-muff sleeves, giving partner Travis Scott a peck on the lips as she walked.
Janelle Monae, always evocative on the carpet, balanced multiple hats piled high on her head wearing a pink and black gown with a black-and-white eye covering her breast on one side, courtesy of designer Christian Siriano.
Wintour, who masterminds the gala every year, wore a light pink cape with loose ostrich feathers over a matching gown adorned in a flower sequin design. She told waiting reporters this year’s theme is anything goes.
“I hope they have a lot of fun,” she said of her A-list guests. “The more crazy the better.”
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written-on-may · 6 years
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Perempuan
Kalau berdasarkan KBBI, cantik itu elok, molek sesuatu yang dihubungkan dengan fisik, hal yang tampak, sehari – hari terlihat. Pendefinisian cantik pun seiring berkembangnya zaman juga berubah. Kilas balik, ketika era 1920-an definisi perempuan cantik ialah mereka yang dapat menonjolkan sisi tomboy, seperti bentuk tubuh yang cenderung androgini, kulit pucat, serta potongan rambut gaya bob. Lalu, pada 1950an para perempuan mulai terpikat dengan tampilan ala Marilyn Monroe. Selang beberapa saat, pada 1960an, tren hippie dan twiggy digandrugi para perempuan. Hingga saat ini, untuk di Indonesia sendiri kita masih berkutat dengan perempuan tinggi semapai, langsing, rambut lurus cenderung bergelombang dan kulit putih.
Berdasarkan asal – usul nenek moyang, bangsa Indonesia ini termasuk dalam ras melanesoid dan ras melayu mongoloid. Ras melanesoid sendiri itu termasuk dalam ras negroid, tentunya dapat ditemukan pada orang – orang Indonesia bagian Timur (misalnya Maluku dan Papua). Sedangkan ras melayu mongoloid ini yang sering kita jumpai di tanah Jawa dan Sumatera yaitu kulit kuning sampai kecokelatan, mata agak sipit, kepala bulat, hidung sedang. Overall, penduduk Indonesia saat ini memiliki ciri – ciri fisik tinggi rata – rata sekitar 150 cm – 180 cm, kulit kuning langsat hingga cokelat kehitaman, warna rambut cokelat atau hitam, rambut bervariasi antara lurus dan keriting.
Sebenarnya, poin utama tulisan ini bukan mengarah ke sejarah kok, hanya renungan iseng – iseng. Entah mengapa, sadar – tidak sadar kita telah membuat suatu patokan tersendiri seorang perempuan dapat dikatakan cantik. Suatu standar yang entah siapa yang membuat. Seperti yang dilansir Huffington Post, selama bertahun – tahun berbagai media mencoba untuk mengonstruksi suatu gambaran ideal “perempuan yang sempurna” baik media cetak maupun elektronik. Bahkan di era digital sekarang ini, mashable.com dalam suatu studi yang dilakukan oleh perusahaan Dove, 82% perempuan percaya bahwa media sosial memengaruhi mereka dalam pendefinisian cantik itu sendiri. Gue sendiri menyadari hal ini, kadang kalau lagi buka instagram lalu liat explore. Yah, ngga usah jauh – jauh explore, timeline instagram sendiri deh, melihat teman atau kerabat post foto dan sempat terbesit “wih, cantik banget ya,” “mulus banget” “perfect sih” dan komentar – komentar mengenai ‘sempurna’ nya fisik si pemilik akun yang tidak diutarakan tetapi terlintas di benak gue. Untuk kalian para mahasiswa tentunya tidak asing lagi dengan kehadiran berbagai akun “hits (insert your campus name)” “(your campus name) cantik” dan nama sejenis. Tak jarang juga, ketika gue scrolling down di akun – akun tersebut, teman – teman wanita nya juga ikut berkomentar, seakan – akan sebagai suatu pencapaian masuk dalam jajaran feed akun tersebut. Salah? Ngga juga, beberapa  tidak ingin fotonya terpampang disana tanpa seizin yang punya. But well oh well, menurut gue keberadaan akun tersebut semakin memperkuat adanya suatu gambaran perempuan yang cantik itu seperti apa secara fisik. Bahkan, bukan hanya perempuan tetapi juga laki – laki.
Di channel tv nasional, bisa kita lihat sehari – hari bagaimana berbagai iklan produk kecantikan menawarkan kulit yang putih mulus. Jadi masalahnya apa sih? Gue pernah ada di masa – masa minder ketika melihat teman – teman wanita sebaya gue. Gue adalah bagian dari para perempuan yang setelah puber dianugerahi jerawat – jerawat cantik muncul disana dan disini tiada henti bahkan hingga kini. Walaupun semasa SMP sampai SMA awal gue merasakan memiliki wajah mulus, tapi akhirnya sampai saat ini gue masih ditakdirkan wajah yang dihiasi bintang kejora nan indah selalu apalagi kalau mau kedatangan tamu bulanan. Iya, sekecil jerawat saja bisa membuat pusing berlebihan. Gue juga pernah berada di tahap sangat minder karena pertumbuhan gue yang tergolong lambat dibanding teman – teman seumuran gue. Dari gue lahir sampai sekarang, terlebih semenjak sekolah, gue merasakan selalu menjadi yang paling kecil. Badan kurus dan pendek. Gue sempat berpikir mungkin gue bakal stuck segini saja dan ngga tumbuh – tumbuh lagi. Dulu, perasaan itu pernah menggerogoti gue semasa SMP – SMA. Memasuki masa SMA, zaman gue lagi booming – boomingnya rambut keriting gantung. Itu lho, rambut atasnya lurus lalu rambut bawahnya keriting gantung lucu. Tidak sedikit, teman – teman wanita gue mengikuti tren tersebut. Bahkan ada yang membawa catokan ke sekolah. Yes, dibawa ke sekolah biar rambut selalu ‘on.’ Lalu di penghujung masa SMA, gue mulai melihat fenomena berbagai bentuk alis. Semacam ngga bakal keluar rumah kalau belum ngalis. Mulai dari bentuk nike sampai se-natural mungkin.
Sebenarnya ada yang salah ngga sih dengan hal – hal yang gue sebutkan diatas? Sama sekali, ngga. Akan tetapi, yang sering terjadi, yang sering ditemukan dan bahkan gue sendiri pernah merasakan adalah kita melakukan itu untuk orang lain. Rasanya disanjung tuh memang menyenangkan. Ketika kita merasa berbeda dan mencoba ‘fit in’ dengan tren yang sedang ‘in’ sekarang itulah yang merusak. Kita, perempuan, kita yang berhak mengonstruksi diri kita. You know what? Tanpa disadari, hal – hal tersebut mengajarkan kita untuk berbohong. Parahnya berbohong pada diri sendiri. Ketika kita mencoba untuk menutupi berbagai kekurangan yang ada dalam diri kita. Isn’t it ironic? Kamu adalah kamu dengan make – up atau tanpa make – up, kamu adalah kamu dengan rambut ikal hasil blow atau rambut baru selesai keramas, kamu adalah kamu dengan bentuk badanmu sekarang, kamu adalah kamu dengan fitur – fitur wajah yang kamu miliki. Dan sesungguhnya pikiran – pikiran negatif yang menggerogoti kepalamu tentang dirimu itulah yang membuat dirimu tidak secantik itu. It’s all about whats in your mind and your heart. The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you smile, the way you learn. That’s what matter the most. Karena hal – hal tersebut yang akan membentuk kamu, menjadikan kamu  perempuan dengan karakter dan keunikannya masing – masing.
Menurut gue, cantik itu ketika kita menyadari sepenuh hati kekurangan kita dan menerima hal tersebut serta senantiasa mencoba memperbaiki diri secara terus menerus tanpa henti. Cantik itu ketika kita bisa membantu orang lain merasa bahkan menjadi lebih baik, menumbuhkan sikap empati dan peduli. Karena cantik itu tentang cinta dan kasih terhadap sesama.
Now, stop telling yourself you are not beautiful enough.
Referensi :
·  http://mashable.com/2014/01/24/dove-beauty-study/#0LP4MFA6Cgq0
·  https://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-atkinson/media-beauty-distortion_b_3292467.html
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