#Noah Sebastian angst

[xx-like-a-villian-xx]

For The Last Time | One

“It had been months since you’d seen each other, five and three days to be exact (not that he was counting or anything), months since you had broken up with him. You said it was for the best, that your careers were more important but Noah didn’t think so.”

What I thought was going to be a lil angsty one shot has become a multiple part cry fest ahhh. Here’s part one <3

I'm posting this because it's in my drafts x

My ao3 is HERE

Also let me know if you want to be tagged in any upcoming posts :)

CW: post break up, angst, Noah has lots of feelings, “talking” about feelings, loads of swearing

(Dropping this because it was burning a hole in my drafts and I just wanted to get it out there)

18+ MDNI | Noah Sebastian x Reader

“Thought I’d find you here.” Your voice reached Noah’s ears like a siren song and it was infuriating.

He turned slightly, watching you approach him in that dress, that fucking dress that hugged every single curve on your body so perfectly it made him feel crazy, feral. He had been trying his damned hardest to avoid you all night and of course you found him, cigarette between his tattooed fingers, on the balcony, moping.

“The party is wild in there.” You gestured to the balcony doors that were muffling the sound of chatter and loud music inside.

“Yeah, I just needed some quiet.” His voice was gruff when he spoke and it only made you roll your eyes.

It had been months since you’d seen each other, five and three days to be exact (not that he was counting or anything), months since you had broken up with him. You said it was for the best, that your careers were more important but Noah didn’t think so.

You see, Noah would have walked through fire, jumped in front of a bullet, he would have stolen the moon from the fucking sky if you asked him to but you didn’t feel the same and as much as it hurt to watch you walk away, he did because he loved you. Issue is, he just couldn’t get over you.

He had avoided you like the plague for months but it was getting progressively harder because you shared friends. Usually it was easy, he left when you showed up, he asked around to see if you were going to events so he could make excuses not to go. It was fine, he hated socialising at the best of times so it was no skin off his nose.

Then you showed up to the album release in that fucking dress and his heart just about dropped out of his ass. And the worst part? You had some six foot four Doberman energy gym rat on your arm. That’s when he found himself storming out to the balcony with a half drank bottle of Hennessy and a pack of cigarettes he had stolen off the kitchen island.

He didn’t dare look at you again, instead his eyes stayed trained on the twinkling lights of the city when you joined him at the railing, your warmth burning his skin like acid.

”How have you been?”

Well that was a loaded question. What was he meant to say? ‘Oh yeah, I’m fantastic, nice to see you, Y/N. Who’s the hunk?’ Nah. He would rather put his hand in a blender.

“Fine.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Instead he stubbed the cigarette out and took a long swig of the cognac, letting it burn down his throat in an attempt to quell the anger boiling in his blood.

He could feel you shift uncomfortably next to him and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. What did you have to feel uncomfortable about? You practically tore his heart out and curb stomped it. And to add a cherry on top of the shit icing, you decided his fucking album release party would be the best time to hard launch your new man.

Noah really, really wasn’t in the mood and he was practically begging the gods to make you just go inside and forget about it, enjoy your night and have fun but instead you reached out, took the bottle from his hands and took a huge swig.

Fuck.

“Shouldn’t you be with your date, Mick is it?” He finally grits through a clenched jaw.

You chuckle lightly. “It’s Mike, and he’s talking to Folio about fishing.”

Betrayer, of course he would be. Trust Folio to be rubbing shoulders with the enemy over fucking fishing poles.

Noah hums, running a hand through his recently cut short hair.

”It suits you, you know, short hair.” He turned to you fully with furrowed eyebrows. What was your game?

God you looked fucking beautiful, your hair was pulled back into a bun at the back of your neck, curled strands framing your face. Sharp wings of eyeliner made your eye colour stand out beautifully in the low light, along with those dark lashes and your lips were painted a shade of red that could only be described as unholy and fuck, he just wanted to feel them on his again.

”You think?” His voice was weak and he internally kicked himself for even looking at you because his knees felt weak and his stomach felt like it might explode.

You smiled that smile that he fell for all those years ago, reaching your hand out to brush a stray piece of hair from his eyes.

Yeah, he was well and truly fucked, done for, so fucking completely in love with you. He was never getting over you.

“Hey, we’re about to play the album.” Nicholas’ voice from the balcony door made you jump back away from Noah.

”See you inside, yeah?” He nodded at your words, watching you walk back inside to Mike, planting a soft kiss on the guy's cheek and Noah wanted to vomit.

Nicholas was staring at him with a smirk.

”Shut the fuck up.” Noah pointed at his best friend, grabbing the bottle of Hennessy before pushing his way inside.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Noah had been shifting uncomfortable in his seat, your narrowed eyes burning into him for almost an hour. You were clinging on to every fucking lyric he wrote and he knew he was in for it the moment you could get him alone again.

So as soon as the album had played through and chatter started up again, he was up on his feet, moving across the room before you could get to him.

”Hey, Noah isn’t it?” Oh for fuck’s sake. Mike held a hand out to him,

Noah hesitantly shook it with a smile that he was faking hard, gritting his teeth. “Yeah, nice to meet you…Mike?”

The taller man grinned. “Yeah, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend but I’m guessing you already know.”

Yeah, he fucking does know.

“It’s so sick that she knows you guys, I’ve listened to your last two albums and they go hard, man.”

Noah nodded, smiling, looking behind the guy to see you storming towards them with clenched fists.

“Look, Mike, I’m sorry to cut this short bu-“

“Hi babe, what are we talking about?” Fuck, you were now standing next to Mike, staring up at Noah with a false grin that screamed ‘I’m going to fucking kill you’.

”Oh, I was just telling Noah how much I fuck with the music babe.” Mike was completely unaware of the frustration bubbling in your bones, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

”That’s lovely.” You cooed, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Could you give Noah and I a second to talk, Folio is looking for you I think.”

Shit, shit, shit. There was no way he was getting out of it now. Mike leaned down to pull you into a kiss before strutting towards Folio and Noah just about wanted the ground to swallow him up right there and then.

”Downstairs, now.”

He had no choice but to follow you down the stairs like a lost dog, shuffling his feet as you stomped down the steps. As soon as you reached the outside, you turned to him with flailing arms.

”What the fuck is all that, Noah? You think that’s okay, airing our dirty laundry out like that?” You were seething, face turning beet red.

”It’s music, Y/N, not everything is about you.”

“Oh so ‘someone else’, ‘the death of peace of mind’ and what was the other one? ‘Bad decisions’? They’re not about me? Right…so the pretty much direct fucking quotes from our break up aren’t there? Sure.” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

”First of all, it’s ‘somebody else’. Second of all, why does it matter? You’ve clearly moved on. I mean fuck me right?” He laughed incredulously, running a hand through his hair. “You said that you didn’t want to be with me anymore because your career was taking up all of your time and energy and then you show up here with a new guy, smushing face with him in front of me and my brothers like nothing happened. We were together for six fucking years, Y/N!”

He took a deep breath, chest heaving. You stared up at him with glassy eyes full of fire but he was past caring by that point.

”So forgive me, darling, for pouring my heart into my music. Our break up is still a fresh wound. I genuinely thought that we were gonna be end game and yeah, I’m not fucking over it. Did you even listen to ‘Just Pretend’, huh?”

A tear fell from your lashes onto your cheekbone, your face softening and Noah couldn’t watch. He hated the bullshit, the anger, the sadness. He just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and go back to when everything was okay, back when you were still his. Fuck, it was too much.

”Look, I’m sorry for shouting. I just find it really hypocritical of you to be going off at me like that when you completely blindsided me tonight.”

You nodded your head quickly, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand. He was right, you had no place to be upset when you had hurt him, really fucking hurt him.

Noah could hear Jolly calling his name from inside and he sighed. “Maybe we can talk about all of this over coffee sometime next week. It’s a conversation we really need to have, cut the loose ends so both of us can move on, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was quiet as a mouse, eyes trained on your shoes.

He wanted to reach out, pull you into his chest and comfort you but it wasn’t the right time, he didn’t think it would ever be. You had someone else to hold you and he was upstairs waiting.

“Text me, my number is still the same.”

With a sad smile, he turned, making his way back inside.

[jennay]

Let me take care of you

Request: I don't know if you know, but Noah kind of lost his voice during a concert(?) when you can, can you write that the reader flew out to take care of him or just to be there with him? :c ♥️ You choose whether they're friends or in a relationship, whatever you feel. Don't overwhelm yourself, precious; we love you more♥️♥️

No warnings

An: sorry I put a friends to lovers trope. 😅 thank you for this request. I loved it.

Words 2800ish

Noah Sebastian x reader

Noah Master list

You had always been terrified of heights. The mere thought of being high up in the air made your palms sweat and your stomach churn.

So, how you boarded a plane and flew for more than half a minute was a mystery to you. But you did it for Noah, your best friend, who was going through a rough patch. Your sneaky self conspired with the other three men to visit without Noah knowing.

He'd lost his voice and had to cancel several shows, which made him feel guilty and depressed.

He kept blaming himself for not taking better care of his health even though the others assured him that it was not his fault and that he would recover soon.

You had booked a car online, but when you got to the rental center, you faced an unexpected problem. The vehicle you had reserved was unavailable, and the counter clerk seemed clueless about what to do. He asked you to wait in the lobby while he talked to his manager, promising to sort things out as soon as possible. You felt your blood boil with frustration. You hated waiting - especially when you had paid for something in advance. You glared at the clerk as he walked away, wishing you could zap him with your eyes. You grabbed your phone and dialed Noah's number, hoping to check on him. You waited for him to pick up but heard a different voice on the other end instead.

"Hello, this is Noah's assistant. How can I direct your call?" It was Jolly; his thick accent and cheerful tone always made you smile.

"Hey, Jolly. It's me." You chuckled. "Is Noah paying you well? You seem to be working very hard lately."

He laughs back, "He doesn't pay me shit! I'm just that good of a friend."

"Well, speaking of the devil, where is he?" You ask.

"Sleeping... I saw it was you so I answered for him. Are you here yet?" He whispers, and you hear the sound of a door closing. "Sorry, that was loud. I don't want to blow it. Must escape into the other room." He says, giggling like a child.

"I'm in the same state…city even, but there seems to be some fucking confusion with the car I rented, and it's taking everything in me not to lose my shit right now," you say with a sigh. "Why is this happening?"

You run your hand down your face, feeling lost and not knowing what to do. "Ah, the classic 'I rented a car, and now I'm stuck' situation. You know what they say: 'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.'" He quips, "Do you need someone to come get you, or are you going to wait it out?"

"OK, well, nobody says that except you. I'm gonna wait. I hate not having my own way around." You pause when you hear your name called at the front desk.

He laughs, "No, I'm pretty sure that's how it's said, y/n. My English is good."

You roll your eyes, letting out a small giggle. "I gotta go. I'll call you when I get to the hotel. Like, I'll actually call your phone."

"See you soon. OK, this is the part where I say goodbye, right?" He laughs.

"Yes, goodbye!" You click end and start toward the desk, wondering how you ended up with the strangest people being some of your closest friends.

After a long, exhausting drive, you finally arrived at the hotel's parking lot. You took out your cell phone and called Jolly, hoping he would come down and help you with your luggage.

You waited and waited and waited…

"I'm coming." He said abruptly and hung up.

You stared at your phone in disbelief. What was that? Did he just cut you off without even saying goodbye? What if you had something important to tell him?

You got out of the car, putting on your sunglasses. You grabbed your backpack from the back seat and closed the car door, leaning against it as you waited for Jolly to show up.

You started to doubt your decision to come here; if Noah was sick, would he appreciate your surprise visit? You shook your head; of course, he would.

You feel excited when you see the tall Swede walking towards you with a goofy smile; he opens his arms wide, and you run to him, hugging him tightly.

"You made it!" He exclaimed.

You pulled away, grinning, "Barely. I think I only cried once on the plane, so that's an improvement, " you joke while adjusting your bag. "Lead the way," you say, gesturing to the door.

"Someone's eager," he teased, opening the door. "I'm excited to see everyone. I miss you guys so much," you said with exaggerated emotion.

He followed behind you as you sprinted up the stairs. "Oh, come on. Don't lie to me. You're dying to see Noah... Just admit it," he said, poking fun at you.

You stopped in the hallway, making him bump into you. You turned to face him, poking his chest and giving him a fierce glare, "Shut your mouth!"

He laughs, gently grabbing your shoulders, keeping you at bay. "Alright, pitbull, calm down!"

You shake your head and continue to walk, "Sorry." You mumble. "It's just, nobody needs to know that. I honestly didn't even want to tell you." You take a deep breath when you feel his arm lazily drape over your shoulder.

"Maybe it's time to tell him instead of telling me." He looks down at you, waiting for a response.

"Hear me out... I can just not say anything and keep my friendship intact," you say.

Jolly's arm drops from your shoulders as he points to the door. He grabs his key and unlocks the door, pushing you in first.

"This place is huge," you say as you peek around. You'd barely entered the kitchen and already felt lost.

"Down the hall doors on the left. Beware, the other two are lurking and waiting for your arrival," he warns.

As he's warning you, you hear a sudden commotion from around the corner. Two figures emerge, dart guns in their hands, and they laugh maniacally as they start shooting at you. You barely have time to react before the first dart hits you in the face. You instinctively raise your arms to shield yourself from the barrage of incoming darts.

"Fucking assholes!" You yell out in frustration, trying to catch your breath as you choke on your laughter. You quickly scan your surroundings for cover and spot Jolly nearby. You run towards him and hide behind him, hoping that he'll provide some protection from the incoming fire.

Jolly groans as he gets pelted with the soft bullets but doesn't move. You peek from behind him and see that the men are still laughing and shooting at you.

From behind them, you hear a door creak open and feet scruffing against the floor.

"What the fuck is going on?" you hear Noah's hoarse voice ask.

You poke your head around Jolly's torso, and your eyes land on Noah. You smile with excitement, feeling your stomach flip.

You run past Nicholas and Folio, flipping them off in the process and laughing hysterically as you jump into Noah's arms. As you cling to him, you can feel his body tense up in surprise. He looks down at you with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape, as if he can't believe what happened. You can tell he hasn't processed that you're there yet.

"What the…where did you? You're here," he manages to stutter out. His body relaxes, and he squeezes you gently, engulfing you in his tattooed arms. "What are you doing here?"

You pull back, still latched in his arms, as you look up at him. "Surprising you, dummy. Did it work?"

"What do you think?" His brown irises glow while he gazes down on you. "I'm surprised, but why? You had the whole tour, and you chose now? We're almost done." He says, chuckling. "Wait, did you get on a plane?"

You push out of his grasp, brushing your shirt down. "I heard you weren't feeling well…and yes, I did get on a plane."

"She only cried once," Jolly pipes in. "She's growing up so fast."

You shake your head, "...and then these two assholes tried to kill me." You glare at them. "You didn't even say hi! You just started blasting, and I find that rude. Could at least greet a girl." You turn your back to them, swinging around to face Noah. "Anyway, I'm here."

He looks back at you with tired eyes, "Well, as much as I love seeing you. I'm supposed to be on vocal rest. I'm going back to my room."

You stand there confused as he starts to walk away from you.

"Are you coming?" He asks, stopping before his door.

"Wait, you were inviting me?" You chuckle, "I'm comin'." You dash down the corridor and join Noah in his room. The room is plunged into darkness by the black-out blinds. You grin as he snuggles up on the bed, pulls the covers over him, and switches on the tiny TV on the desk at the foot of the bed.

"I had to make it dark." He explains, noticing your curious gaze, "I'm fooling myself into thinking nothing exciting is happening."

You roll your eyes playfully, "Nothing exciting is happening. This is a hotel." You tease, sliding under the covers next to him.

Noah gives you a sly smirk as he slides closer to you, resting his head on your chest. You wrap your arm around his shoulder, gently moving it up his neck and into his hair, where your fingers weave through, making him melt under your touch.

"I know you're not supposed to be talking, but I was curious how you feel about this. How are you coping?"

He lets out a sigh, showing his frustration. "I hate having to cancel shows, you know? It sucks knowing people were looking forward to seeing us maybe for months, and then we can't even show up." He buries his face in your neck, groaning, "I can talk, by the way, just not loudly."

You feel his hot breath against your skin, causing goose bumps down your arms. You wonder if this was the right time to tell him the truth.

You mentally shake the thoughts from your mind; now was probably not the right time. You didn't know if there ever would be a time when you'd feel brave enough. "I get that. As much as you hate hearing it, you're only human, Noah. Shit happens, and I'm sure they'll understand. They would want you to get better instead of ruining your voice," you remind him.

You feel his arm drape around your waist as he says, "I'm happy you're here. It makes things a little more manageable."

You hear his breathing slow down, and his soft snore comes from him. You let him rest and grab your phone, careful not to wake him up. You take a quick picture of your situation and send it to Jolly.

Help

Did you tell him?

NO.

Wake him up?

I can't. It's a rule. It's rude to move if someone is sleeping on you.

That only applies to cats, and Noah's not a cat.

You laugh and text back: Are we sure?

You put your phone down beside you and close your eyes, feeling the need for a nap after your long trip, and then you'd talk to Noah, maybe.

You stir in your sleep, feeling soft touches through your hair; you cuddle closer to the person's chest, feeling arms around you keep you safe and warm. Your eyes flutter open softly, and you are greeted with Noah's neck tattoo. You lean your head back, your nose grazing Noah's chin. "Hi," you groggily say.

"Hi, sleepy head." You snuggle your face back into his chest, not wanting to end the moment. You felt secure and calm, like you could stay this way forever. Until you hear the door fling open, you don't raise your head to look afraid you might get pelted in the face with another dart.

"You did it!" Jolly squeals when he sees you wrapped up in Noah's body. "I'm claiming best man at the wedding!"

Noah's eyes widen in confusion, and he looks at Jolly with a puzzled expression. "What wedding?" He asks nervously.

Jolly stares at you wide-eyed and yells, "Ah Fuck!" before leaving the room and shutting the door quickly.

You smack your hand over your eyes, wishing you could just disappear. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you contemplate getting up, walking to the front, getting on a plane, and never showing your face again.

Suddenly, Noah lightly pushes your shoulder and playfully smiles at you. "That was weird," he says. "Are you OK?" His eyes grow with concern as he realizes the color hasn't returned to your face.

You take in a deep breath and close your eyes. Your heart races with anticipation, and you feel sick to your stomach. But you quickly regain focus and open your eyes. "Is it THAT weird?" Noah's head tilts, eyebrows furrow together, and his voice laced with curiosity, "What do you mean?"

"The voice in my head is screaming not to tell you because I'm so fucking afraid of losing you, but I know…" you pause, trying to catch your breath. "I love you, Noah, but not just in a hey, I want to be your friend kind of way. It's been eating at me for a while now. I made the mistake of telling Jolly; that's why he said what he did."

Noah's mouth drops with surprise, and slowly, a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. "I know," he says softly. He presses his lips together, not sure what else to say. He wasn't completely oblivious. "That's it?" You nervously bite the inside of your cheek.

"Y/n, why do you think I treat you like I do? I knew there was something more, but I didn't want to push this on you. I'm gone a lot, and I can't always give you what you want and what you need." He reaches out, holding both of your hands with his.

"If you want to give me a shot, I'm ready, but don't want to disappoint you." He flashes his infamous smile at you. "I want to try. At least then when people ask if you're my girlfriend, I won't have to correct them." He nervously laughs, "Are you ready?"

You smirk and sit up on your knees, bringing your hands to his face and pressing your lips against his. You lean back, gazing into his eyes, a permanent smile plastered on your face. "Yes, I'm fucking ready!"

You hear Jolly's voice yell from the hallway. "The wedding's back on!"

You chuckle, and Noah pulls you into his lap, kissing your temple. "He really wasn't the best one to tell."

You shrug your shoulders, "It wasn't that bad…he did kinda make this happen…"

Noah looks at the door hearing someone lean against it; chuckling while throwing his legs over the side of the bed and making his way to the door. He quickly opens the door to reveal Jolly practically falling on his face.

"Dude…" Noah laughs. "What the fuck."

Jolly apologizes, "Sorry, sorry. I'm nosy, you know plus had to make sure little miss wasn't getting her heartbroken." He pauses and smiles at you.

"Well," you say with a grin, "I guess we can't blame him for being curious about our love life. After all, it's not every day that he gets to witness such a steamy romance." You wink at Noah.

Noah rolls his eyes playfully and pulls you closer. "Yeah, Jolly," he says with a smirk, "you're just jealous that you're not getting any action."

Jolly laughs and shakes his head. "You two are something else."

Tags:

@thisbicc @yumikitten @lma1986 @chemicallady

[thefallennightmare]

Mercy-one

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Fallen Angel!OC

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, smut, mythological talk, violence.

Summary: "Blinded by a fear of feeling, these are the kings we chose. Lost and looking for the meaning, I've been searching high and low" It came crashing down on him. This is the story of the highest banished angel from where she came only to find home in the arms of a mortal man. This mortal realizing he'd face Lucifer himself to keep her.

Lethia: Archangelus Oneironaut also known as Archangel of Dream Walking. Across worlds and dimensions, she walks within. Uncovering dangerous secrets, leaving her cast out, isolated- that is until she begins to learn what it means to feel.

Authors Notes: Here we go! Now this is an AU but I will keep things true to life with Bad Omens and Noah as possible! Also, this is NOT a reader insert fic. I decided to create a character for this.

Tags[OPEN]: @thescarlettvvitch

LETHIA

The wind whipped widely through my hair, smacking me in the face, as my limbs thrashed around with such force I cringed in pain. I could see the clouds out of the corner of my eyes as I fell through them, with no sense of comfort protecting me. I choked on a sob when I noticed parts of my long, golden, hair was being singed from the rate of the fall. I held my hands in front of my face to watch in horror as the once short nails grew in length and darkness. 

“Wh-what?” 

How did it get like this? All because I chose to follow someone else instead of the almighty King? How was that fair? I’d been loyal since creation, one of his most loyal servants, but the second I thought of something different than the divine plan, He cast me away. 

“Leth, follow me to the ends of the darkness. For we can create our own Kingdom and rule.” 

My eyes screwed shut at the familiar voice as my throat burned with the thought of him. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was close by, surely he had to be. I was thrown from the Kingdom first, Lucifer not far behind. 

The air around me began to thicken, grasping around my throat with such force, that I clawed there with my newly fresh nails. Blood dripped from the wounds but none of that mattered to me; I simply stared up towards the sky where my former home disappeared through the clouds. I could try and climb my way back, as far as my wings would allow. But I knew, like Icarus, if I climbed too high to the sun, I’d fall into the unknown jungle below. 

Icarus was a fool. 

My ears rang loudly from the sudden change in altitude and I looked towards the left, almost crying out when I took in the most recent alter to my appearance. Bright wings that mirrored the colors of the clouds surrounding me were no longer pure. No, they were dark with the tellings of my betrayal. 

“My King, forgive me!” I cried out seconds before my body fell to the hard soil below; darkness overtaking my vision.

NOAH

Slamming the car door shut with a long sigh,  I walked from the street, up to my house. I took in the variety of cars, realizing that one of the guys must have invited a few people over tonight. Usually, I never minded when we had small get-togethers, but tonight I did mind. It wasn’t anything anyone in particular did, my mind was just filled with the same dream I’d had the last seven nights in a row. 

Black feathers. Even darker hair. Cream-colored skin. And vibrant red eyes. 

At first, I chalked it up to being a random dream but as the nights progressed, the dream continued with the same figure. 

One night they were sitting on the edge of my bed. The following night, they were perched on top of the roof of my house, watching the street below. Last night, the figure was in bed with me as my lips trailed over the curvaceous lumps of her breasts. 

I ran a hand over my face as I neared the front door, taking a deep and steady breath. I thought about asking my therapist about these dreams but now that they were getting more intimate, I decided against it.

“It's just a dream, Noah,” I told myself while my hand reached for the door. 

A groan halted my movements and I turned swiftly on my heels back towards the driveway. But all I heard was silence; besides the loud music coming from inside the house. 

Shrugging, I took one final step towards the threshold until a groan sounded again, only this time louder. It sounded as if a large bird fell from the tree hanging overhead, feathers fluttering in the air.  I dropped my bag on the front porch before taking the steps back down two at a time towards where I heard the groans of pain; in between Jesse’s and Orie’s cars parked in the driveway. 

“Fuck,” I cursed seeing the crumbled body. 

Head snapped to the side, dark tendrils of hair covering her face, and an arm draped over her midsection. I winced as I saw the contortment of it, knowing that it had to be broken. 

Where the hell did she come from? 

There was a sudden surge that spread from my heart to every vein inside of me; flowing through in shocking waves. I couldn’t place it but seeing this figure in front of me, there was something so familiar about it; her. A painful groan fell from her lips and I breathed in relief, almost forgetting to check if she was alive. I’d been so entranced in her familiarity. 

Gently scooping the body up into my arms, the dark hairs fell away from her face and I sucked in a breath when I noticed there were fresh cut marks along her cheek, and blood dripping from her ears. I rushed her inside, gaining stares from my roommates, who immediately stopped the music. 

“What the fuck?” Orie’s voice was raised. 

I shook my head while setting her on the couch in our living room. “I don’t know, man.”

Our house was packed with random faces; some I recognized, others I didn’t. I knew there was a party tonight but suddenly, I wanted everyone that didn’t live here out. 

Folio, who noticed my expression, waved a finger in the air. “Alright, I think it’s time to end this party. Thanks for coming, everyone!” 

Pretty quickly, everyone who didn’t live there or weren’t part of Bad Omens left the house. 

“Where did you find her?” Nick asked.

I hesitated. “That’s the thing. I found her lying broken in the driveway.”

“The driveway?” Jolly gasped. “How long had she been out there?” 

I shrugged while brushing away the stray hairs from her face, hearing a soft but painful breath falling from her dry, cracked lips. My eyes grazed down the line of her neck down to the swell of her breasts that were barely covered by the tattered black shirt; it looked as if it was burned off. I tossed a blanket over her to help cover her modesty. 

Something glinted in my vision and I looked back at her neck to see a golden chain hanging loosely between the valley of her breasts. My heart dropped to my stomach as the reality slammed into me. 

I’ve seen this chain before; in my dreams. My lips tasted that chain in my dreams. 

My hands shook at my side as a shaky breath escaped from my throat and Jolly called my name. 

“Hm, what?” I turned to look at him. 

He ran a hand through his hair. “Should we call the police? She looks like she’s been attacked.” 

“No,” I said a little too suddenly. “She just needs a place to rest. We don’t know what happened. I’ll ask when she wakes up.” 

I slowly sunk into the chair across from the couch, resting my elbows on my knees, watching the rise and fall of her chest to make sure she was still breathing. 

Jesse stared down at her from behind the couch and let out a low whistle. “It’s a miracle that she’s even breathing right now. We should probably wrap her arm. It could be broken.” 

Just then, Michael returned with our first aid kit and handed it to me. I took it with a small smile and started rummaging through it to look for the hydrogen peroxide and cotton balls. The least I could do while she slept was clean the wounds on her face. 

The softness of her face twisted as the sting of peroxide sunk deep within her wounds and when a whimper fell from her lips, my cock twitched in my jeans. Images of her lying spread wide in my bed for me flashed in my mind and I did my best to push them to the back of my brain. 

“How did she end up in the driveway? Looking like this?” Orie asked as he finished wrapping up her arm. 

“I don’t know,” I sighed while sitting back in my chair, eyes still trained on her. “With how I found her, it looks like she fell from somewhere.”

Jolly shook his head as he sat on the armrest of the couch, also watching the stranger. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

All seven of us stood around the body laying on the couch, wondering and watching to see if she would wake. 

“Maybe she’s an angel,” Jesse snorted, trying to ease the sudden tension. 

“Angels don’t exist,” my eyes snapped up towards him. 

Jesse held his hands up. “It’s a joke, Noah. But you have to admit it’s a little weird.” 

I ran a hand over my jaw and nodded. “I know. I couldn’t leave her out there, though. Once she wakes up, I’ll take her wherever she wants.”

“Luce,” the woman croaked out, head turning towards the side. 

Her voice rang out in song, echoing throughout the house, and my heart rose in my throat hearing how eternal it sounded. I barely knew anything about her but I couldn’t ignore the way my soul felt connected to her. Maybe it was because of seeing this form in my dreams or fate that I found her in my driveway, almost as if I was destined to help her. 

“What did she say?” Nick questioned. 

 Folio shrugged while leaning over her. “Luce? Maybe that’s her name?” 

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and with one swift movement, the woman had her legs wrapped around Folio’s midsection and him pinned to the ground. Her good forearm was pressed deep into his neck while he lay frozen underneath her.  All of us were on our feet but none made a move to stop her, not knowing if it would ultimately help or make things worse. 

“Who are you?” 

The venom in her voice was cold as ice. 

“Ni-Nick,” Folio choked out. 

The woman tilted her head towards him. “Where am I?” 

Taking a tentative step towards her, I placed a soft hand on her shoulder. “I found you outside.” 

It was as if my touch meant nothing to her, eyes still burning deep into Folio. It wasn’t until I spoke again that she finally noticed I was touching her. 

“You’re hurt. I brought you inside to help you.” 

Before I could register what happened, I felt myself being pinned up against the front door, fiery red eyes staring deep into my soul. With all the doubt that plagued my mind the last hour as I watched her sleep on the couch, I tried to tell myself that I didn’t know who she was. It was all a coincidence that parts of her reminded me of the figure I dreamed of.

But the moment I saw those bright red eyes, I knew that all the doubt was wrong. This was the same woman I dreamed of the last seven nights. 

LETHIA

With my nails digging into the fresh skin of the man in front of me, I assessed every inch of his face. The brown eyes widened in slight horror when my nails dug deeper and I took in the way his lips parted, breaths coming out broken. His long hair was held back by a clip but strands still fell into his face and I cocked my head to the side when I realized something drastic. 

Well, a few things. 

First, I couldn’t feel my hand around this man's throat. I squeezed harder, my face twitching in anger, when I still couldn’t feel his skin underneath my grasp. I expected to feel the erratic thrum of his pulse or his Adam's apple dip low as he swallowed. 

Instead, I felt nothing. 

No. It couldn’t be. 

I’ve heard tales of this happening to the Fallens but I never believed it to be true.  An old folks tale the other Archangels discussed over a cup of wine. 

My eyes blinked as I slowly removed my hand from the man’s throat, fingers shaking with the realization. The dark nails mocked me for my failure, scolding me for taking the darkness over the light. 

The second thing I realized? I’ve seen this face before. Moments before I fell, it flashed in my mind like a photograph, every fucking detail. The long brown hair, bright brown eyes to match, the freckles that littered over his nose and cheeks, the tattoo that wrapped around his throat where my fingers were moments before; a snake, apples, and hands. 

How metaphorical. 

“What’s going on with me?” I muttered bringing my hand to my chest, noticing it was wrapped in some kind of material. 

“You hurt your arm, we wrapped it for you,” a different voice spoke. 

My head snapped to the left, seeing another man slowly approach me. His voice sounded different than the others and I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“You’re not from around here,” I noted. 

A snort sounded from behind me causing me to whirl my body towards it, seeing yet another strange man staring at me. 

“Not from around here? Who talks like that?” 

Someone smacked him in the chest. “Michael, don’t be an asshole.” 

“I’m just saying, Nick. She wakes up in our home and attacks two of our friends. Are we supposed to allow that? We don’t even know her fucking name.” 

My tongue clicked against my teeth. “Lethia.” 

Various sets of eyes stared at me until the man who had an attitude spoke.; Michael. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“My name-,” I spoke slowly. “-Is Lethia.”

Michael snorted. “Well, Lethia, where the hell did you come from?” 

Giving him a wave of my hand, I decided it wasn’t worth answering that question only because none of these men deserve to know.

“Who’s Luce?” 

I snapped my eyes towards the man I had pinned against the door, heart stuttering in my chest. “Excuse me?” 

He rubbed at the fresh red marks on his neck. “You said it in your sleep.” 

Lucifer. 

I licked my lips, widely shaking my head. “I need to leave.” 

A soft voice called to me. “We can take you back home.”

This man had a buzzed head and a beard. “Although, you should get those injuries checked out.” 

“I’ll heal,” I answered honestly.

Lethia, come to me.

I gazed around the room to see if that voice belonged to any of the seven of them although I knew it didn’t. I knew exactly who uttered those words. 

“I have to go.” 

The man from my vision stood tall against the door, not allowing me to leave. My jaw ticked with anger and I motioned behind him. 

“Move.” 

His brow raised. “That’s a funny way of saying thank you for saving your life.” 

“Thank you?” I chuckled darkly. “You simply did nothing for me except keep me prisoner in this home.” 

“Prisoner?” It was his turn to chuckle. “I fucking found you in my driveway, broken and bruised. The least you can do is tell us what the hell happened!”

They’ll never understand. Mere mortals never did. 

I might not understand where I was but I knew mortals when I saw one. Their smell was different than angels; some were stronger than others. Except for the man blocking my way out. It was different, his aura, and I didn’t want to admit it but it drew me into him. There had to be a reason why I saw him mere seconds before I fell from the Kingdom. 

The two of us were unmoving, not wanting to break first, and one of the men must have felt the tension because one gently stepped between us; the one that sounded different from the rest.

“Noah, let her go.” 

Something fluttered in my stomach and I nearly shook with the unknown feeling. Never in my life had I felt something like this, even during my time with Lucifer. But with this mortal, Noah, it was entirely something new and it scared me to the depths of hell. 

Noah scrunched his face with anger but eventually stepped to the side, allowing me to leave. 

“Thank you,” I mocked with a slight curl to my lip; more like a snarl. 

After two steps toward the door, I froze when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eyes. Titling my head towards the glass, my reflection stared back at me and I gasped at what I saw. 

Short black hair, black ink covering almost every inch of skin across my shoulders and arms, my shirt barely hanging one by a thread, and what shocked me the most were my eyes; crimson red, not the vibrant violet. 

“No, it can’t be,” I brought my shaking hand to my mouth. 

Suddenly,  an ear-piercing ringing dug deep in my ears and I brought my hands to them, screwing my eyes shut. My head throbbed in pain as if someone was scratching their claws there. With one eye open, I noticed Michael held some kind of device in his hand. 

“Wh-what is that dreaded noise?” I stuttered. 

“A phone? Fuck, how hard did you hit your head?” 

A what? 

When the ringing stopped, I stood taller and for the first time, took in my surroundings. Everything in this home looked different than how we lived in the Kingdom. While we had advantaged technology, we simply didn’t have things of this nature. 

“None of this makes sense,” I whispered to myself before my eyes landed on a small device on a table. 

October 12, 2021. 

I nearly stumbled on my feet when everything began to click into place. Someone during my fall, I landed in a time that hadn’t existed yet. 

Noah could tell something was off because he turned towards me, a frown pulling at his lips. “Are you alright?” 

Without saying another word, I left in such haste, I hadn’t realized what I left behind in my wake. 

NOAH

My eyes stared at the space in front of me, the door wide open as it let in the cool night air. Those red eyes haunted me in Lethai’s wake and my skin crawled when an old dream crept back into my consciousness. 

I lay in my bed, bare for her to see, Lethia’s tongue traced down my chest and then stomach to brush across my navel. I gripped her dark hair, wrapping it around my fingers to guide her head farther down. My cock throbbed with such an ache, I was sure it wouldn’t last. Beads of precum slipped from the slit and Lethia’s tongue danced around it, tasting me. 

“Fuck,” I cursed as my eyes fluttered shut in ecstasy. 

“Look at me, Noah.” 

My eyes snapped open at Lethia’s firm tone and felt my heart stop dead in my chest; her eyes were glowing red. 

“Noah!” 

Breaking free from my trance, I gazed over to Orie. “Did you say something?” 

“We did all we could, man. There’s no use dwelling on it.” 

He patted my shoulder before they all dispersed into their sections of the house. But not me, I remained frozen in my spot, still staring at the vast darkness past the threshold. There was something just outside the realm of that darkness that caught my eye, it fluttered in the wind until it fell to the concrete just outside the door. 

With furrowed brows, I bent low to pick it up, analyzing it with curious eyes. It was a black feather, at least twelve inches in length, and the softness of it was something I’d never felt before. 

“Who are you, Lethia?” I murmured to myself, holding the feather close to my chest.

[sorrowsofsilence]

Desolate Love • N.S

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader (oneshot)

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst.

Prompt: His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love; but you weren't meant to be sung for, even if you loved each other first.

Authors note: I have never written anything like this publically before, but I'm feeling a little sad and angsty lol. I hope you enjoy the words that came from my heart. (ps. I know many on the taglist are here for smut, and this isn’t smut, but I'm just re-using tags since I'm not sure who enjoys what! Pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things!!)

Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

He got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

A reminder of what once was.

A reminder of what would never be.

You wrote unspoken words in your diary, quarrels that would never be said aloud.

Words that confessed years of feelings, years of silenced affections.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours.

He consumed your mind; the way he smiled at you the day you met; his contagious laughter that danced through the walls in grandeur.

“Is this Henderson’s gym class?”

The voice behind startled you, and you turned, meeting a pair of ochre eyes. The stutter that left your lips caused your face to warm in embarrassment, as the messy brunette locks that fell across the boy’s features left you captivated.

“Yeah, I think so?” Your brows furrowed as you second-guessed yourself, even though you double-checked the classroom timetable a thousand times.

His lips spread into a dancing grin, his slight buck teeth chewing playfully on his bottom lip in shyness.

“Cool,” He stuck out his hand, long fingers wrapping around yours, “Noah.”

“Y/N,” You returned the smile, your ears heating as his October gaze never left yours.

You pulled away, briefly glancing down at his shirt, immediately excited.

“You like blink-182?”

Noah looked down at his shirt, pointing at it, “Oh yea, I fucking love them.”

He glanced up at you, fixated, “Do you?”

You nodded excitedly, “They’re probably my favourite band at the moment, other than the 1975, and Oasis, and-” you began to ramble, but stopped, afraid to embarrass yourself anymore than you felt you had.

Something flickered within his eyes at that moment; something you never noticed.

“Wonderwall?” He asked.

A song that became yours.

The burned CD he gave you collected dust in the corner of your room, aged and scratched from years of use. The disk player sat untouched, left as a painful reminder from when the tunes that played were melodies of hope; melodies of elation.

These feelings of grief consumed you, engulfing you into an overwhelming feeling of remorse.

The waves of heartbreak came and left, nostalgia shielding your anguish when memories flooded in.

No one ever filled you with such devotion and desire as he did; and throughout the naivety, you could have sworn it to be love.

It was the way Noah would shout your name from across the room when he saw you, or the way he would cover your eyes, asking you to guess who.

Every time you would laugh, placing your hands on top of his, saying you weren’t sure.

But you knew every time.

His long fingers would twirl your hair when he sat behind you in class, tugging the strands playfully before running his nails over your scalp.

“I just like your hair,” He’d say.

And whenever he picked up his guitar in the band room, he would strum the chords to your song, as if inviting you to listen to his lyrical confessions.

His texts consisted of using silly nicknames, and an overload of emojis to express his feelings. It was over the top, almost as if he was afraid he never came across as genuine enough without them.

Late night conversations went on for hours, laughing at the random stories and memories exchanged through flirtatious banter. You wanted to tell him everything about you, and learn everything about him.

You wanted to know his favourite colour, and what cologne he wore. His goals and dreams intrigued you, his fears and dislikes alluring.

You began to like the things he did, just to have something to talk about. You watched the shows he recommended and googled the things you didn’t know. Anything for him.

Noah would tell you how proud he was of you if you shared an accomplishment, or how pretty you looked when you wore your hair down.

He told you he loved your sneakers, and the way your oversized sweaters engulfed your body.

“You could wear mine,” He said, “You look good in my clothes.”

He would grab your hands, drawing silly pictures in Sharpie. It always left you frustrated when the image of an scribbled smiley face barely faded with each scrub.

But really, you would stare at it in admiration, blushing at the thought of his fingers brushing against yours.

“You like him, don’t you?” Your best friends pried, causing you to flush in embarrassment.

“He doesn’t like me like that,” You sighed, shaking your head, “We’re just friends.”

Just friends don’t play with each others hair like that.

Just friends don’t call each other pretty.

Just friends don’t text each other all night long.

“Is it easier to just pretend?”

Time went on, and your heart fluttered at every smile Noah shared with you, and at every word you exchanged.

The daily good morning and goodnight texts left you melting, succumbing your heart to his as he claimed it for his own.

Deep down, you knew he liked you more than just a friend. The way he treated you was special; there was no way that was how friends treat friends.

N: “Hey, your crush 100% likes you back.”

You: “Uhh hey? How would you know?”

N: “Well, I know who you like.”

You: “I guarantee you don’t.”

N: “Hmm, but I do? And I know he likes you back.”

You: “Sure Noah, haha. Go to bed.”

N: “I’m just saying. He likes you. Goodnight Y/N <3”

With a spiralling mind, your heart hammered.

Did he know how you felt about him? Did he just confess his feelings?

Hope.

It wasn’t until he pulled you into the storage closet a week later, that sorrow knocking down any previous signs of faith.

Torn.

“Y/N, I just wanted to talk… but I know you have feelings for me.”

His eyes bore into your own, sorrowful and sullen.

“Look,” he began, grabbing your hands in his, eyes glancing at your entwined fingers, “I- I just promised myself to someone else. My girl- ex-girlfriend, is coming here, and the reason we broke up was because I transferred.”

He began to ramble, unable to look into your eyes as he confessed his worries. Your heart began to shatter as you forced a small smile. Pulling your hands from his you placed them on his shoulders, causing him to pause.

“Noah,” You said softly, the words leaving your mouth a blatant lie, “It’s ok. I understand.“

His shoulders fell as he watched you. He brought you into a hug, squeezing you against his body, holding onto you.

Ludicrous. Empty.

You cried, your knees held to your chest in comfort as a shield from the feelings of abandonment. How could you be so naive?

You: “Just wanted to say thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if my feelings complicate things, I care about you a lot Noah.”

N: “I’m sorry, for everything. You mean a lot to me, and I care about you. ”

You: “If you knew who I liked all along… why did you say that my crush liked me back?”

It took him almost an hour to respond.

N: “Because I do like you Y/N. I like you a lot… but I promised myself to someone.”

The tears that fell from your face that night left you parched and broken, your world-shattering.

You found someone else a year later. Love that fulfilled your every need, someone to cherish you for you. It was someone who gave you everything; but your mind selfishly always wandered back to him.

You didn’t know that the day he found out you became spoken for, was the day he broke into a million pieces from a whole.

His heart was mutilated, head spinning with uncontrollable thoughts of regret.

How could he have let you slip through his fingers? All for some what-ifs?

He pretended to be happy for you.

Years passed, and you both grew. Both changed, both matured.

You got a ring, and Noah played in a band. You went to every show, you still showed up, even though you knew you were always a second choice.

He watched you the whole time as his fingers traced the strings of the guitar, and your heart yearned for him; screaming and aching and crying that you were just a body in the room.

It wasn’t until he found someone, that you told yourself it wasn’t healthy to fixate on past uncertainties.

It was rare you went to shows now. But when you did, you watched as he stood on that stage and sung; his smile brilliant and just for her.

But then you would meet his gaze, and you knew that the ochre was always for you. Forever yours.

His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love.

But you weren’t his: you weren’t mean’t to be sung for.

Some nights you called him drunk. You told him you missed him, that you wanted him to know you think about him all the time.

He told you he missed your voice, and how he wished you two still called.

He said he was happy you found someone to love you, because you deserved to be loved.

You knew he was lying.

It was the last time you talked, until you saw him sitting in the audience as you walked down the aisle, marrying a man you loved. A man who promised himself to you forever. A man who chose you first. A man who was not him.

Noah asked for your hand, he asked you for a dance. Your bodies swayed one last time in a synchronized beat, but just as friends; as desolate lovers.

You never listened to Wonderwall again.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours. You were meant to be happy now.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

A reminder of what would never be.

A reminder of what once was.

Noah got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

[starsomens]

Warnings: language! Argument! Established relationship! Noah puts his hands on Y/N, BUT NOT HITTING!!!

Noah was the owner of many businesses and companies. One of his earlier and most successful investments was a strip club and bar. After he invested and fixed it up it was bringing enough money for him to invest and build other businesses. Aside from him being the head of an organization it was just extra income. However, before you started dating he’d go on the weekends and stay there most nights to see how it’s doing or just enjoy the club

But after you had been dating for about 2 years, he let you in on what his life was really like. The luxury, the money, the danger, the true way the system had worked. He told you if you wanted to leave he’d understand and he wouldn’t hold it against you nor would he try and convince you to stay. But you never wanted him for the money or perks or anything like that. You loved him for him……although currently you wanted to rip his head off.

You knew that there were times where he had to go and observe his investments, even if that meant posing as a customer. He was late to a special dinner you had planned and you were so pissed you made one of his men take you to his location. When you had pulled into the parking lot of the club you groaned. You had asked him not to go just because you felt uncomfortable with him being in there. He said he’d try to go as least as could, but that lasted only a short while, then back to regular visits.

Recognizing who you were security let you in through the back door without a second thought. You knew which private booth was for him and his investors and you had only seen them at first….until some girl only wearing a thong had straddled his lap. Her body was swaying and grinding against him and you could feel your blood boiling. You didn’t move and instead decided to simply call his phone and when he picked up you asked

“Are you enjoying your little dance Mr.Sebastian?” He looked over and saw you. He had gotten up as if the girl wasn’t even there and ran after you. The entire ride home was an argument and here you were still arguing about an hour in and 1 vase broken that you had beamed at him out of anger

“I fucking own the club what do you want me to fucking do Y/N!?” He yelled back at you

“I don’t know maybe don’t fucking go!” You answer

“Oh alright and let us go broke, let shit fall apart right?” He furrowed his brows as his hands rest on his hips

“Oh who gives a fuck about the fucking Money!?” You fall into a chair and rest your forehead in your palm

“You seem to give a fuck about the money” he chuckles more out of frustration than actual humor “we’ve fabric in your body, every gem, each nail and inch of make up is because I go to the fucking club and make sure shit is running how it’s it’s supposed to”

“Oh so having some naked girl in your lap is being you money?” You asked as you stand from your steps again

“I have businesses to run Y/N. That bring us money, the money that gets us food, this fixing house, all your clothes and cars and jewelry” he tells you as he waves his hands in front of him frantically, his usually calm temper coming to its end

“I don’t give a shit!” You stomp your foot “if you visit that club so much you gotta be fucking one of them, why else would you go so often?!” You were honestly speaking out of anger ans frustration but why would he go so fucking often?

“Oh don’t fucking being that bullshit up. If you’re gonna use something against me at least make it a good argument” he rolled his eyes “

“I see how they all fucking look at you. They always want to come and give you a little dance” you push more as you step closer to him “and you love it don’t you? You love knowing you still got it huh?”

“Y/N stop-“

“Am I just not enough for you?”

“Y/N no one said-“

“You want to go and fucking Cheat every weekend and feel good about it?” You keep going

“Y/N…stop. Now.” Noah took a deep breath.

“I’d you fucking like her so much then go and fuck her then!” You yell at him

“Y/N!-“

“Maybe She’ll suck your dick and make you food aside form fucking other people too-“ you keep going and going as your hands dance in front do your face to emphasize what you meant

“Y/N!” He finally snapped and grabbed both do your forearms stopping your motions and being you close to his face “you say one more fucking word about it, I’ll make sure you don’t speak another word for the rest of the night, do you understand?”

“I-I-“ you try and answer but your voice was caught in your throat

“Do you understand?!” He raised his voice more and shook you as he asked again He’s never spoken to you like that before. He never wanted to. You weren’t everyone else. You were his girl.

All that could be heard was his panting and your voice trying to escape from your throat as a cry. He realized his grip on you was too tight, you were shaking and your eyes were scared….of him. He lets you go and overlooks you. You arms come in close to your body, almost shielding yourself from him

“Y/N…baby I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to do that I-i” he reach out to you just for you to step back further from him

What has he done? You slowly make make your way to the door without looking away

“Baby please, im so sorry you know I’d never hurt you!” He tried to console you but you ran out as soon as the door opened “Y/N wait!”

He called for you but you don’t look back as you disappear upstairs most likely into the bedroom.

“FUCK!” Cursed out and slammed the door to his office. His fist finding the wall with a pinch, chairs kicked, papers scattered.

In this world you become what you practice. In his line of work he had swore to you and himself that he’d NEVER let you be on the receiving end…now look at him

He became what he hated the most.

Part 2????👀 part 2

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @purple-lili @lma1986

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I’m There Chapter: Twenty-Four

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Taglist: @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens@thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah@thebadchic @madomens@samanthasgone @myownthoughts12@missduffsblog@jilliemiw86 @malerieee @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @badomenslrh @robabankfuckmickeymouse

(You're waiting for the)

Day to come when thеy will notice

(It is time to wake up now)

Fighting battlеs at your lowest

(Your fire is dying out)

Dragging every step forward

But it won't happen again

And I'm not gonna pretend

(I don't want the money)

(Want the money)

Noah sent Erin a CD with a playlist of their songs he hoped she would like. She has been blaring it loudly for days since she opened the package. She’s been listening to it nonstop and now sings along to the lyrics.

Can't say I'm mad, this is entertainment

But I want what they have and I'm gonna take it

And I'm so sorry if I'm cynical

My water's full of chemicals

I don't know what I'm made of anymore

“Sweetie! Lunch is ready!” I call out to her over the sound of the music as I place the plate I made for her, buttered noodles with grilled chicken with roasted broccoli and fresh fruit. 

Erin races down the stairs humming along to one of the songs she’s been listening to. 

“Yum! Thanks, Mom!” she says, plopping down to dig into her pasta. I sit alongside her and eat my plate. 

“So Noah said he will be back in less than a week, we will get a few days to hang out before you go to art camp,” I mention softly and she smiles brightly. “I’m excited to see him again, we should take him to the skating rink where Ashley had her birthday party, Oh! Oh! And we have to have a game night before I go to camp.” she exclaims excitedly. I laugh and nod, “Of course honey, we will have to ask him when he gets into town.” Her smile continues to grow as we talk and I am happy to see her so excited about spending more time with Noah. She talked to me after one of her last therapy sessions and the weight of guilt has lessened tremendously after our conversation. Her little heart is full of so much love. In the future, her feelings may change and she may have more questions or even anger and I am prepared to help her with those feelings when they arise. 

After lunch, I drop Erin off at Gwen’s apartment in her senior center to spend some time with her while I head to work for a few appointments I have set up. Gwen is freshly 75 and loving life in her new senior apartment complex and loves having Erin over to hang out. She welcomes us with big hugs and the smell of freshly baked cookies. “My girls, I’m so happy to see you both!” she greets us warmly. “Gweny! Omg, I have so much to talk to you about! Noah sent me some music and it’s awesome! I have to show you some.” Erin gushes to Gwen as she walks into the living room to set her backpack down. “Oh and I brought some paints so we can do some crafts, I wanted to paint the flowers you have on your balcony.” 

Gwen with her arm slung delicately around my shoulder laughs softly, “You made the sweetest girl in the world, I hope you know how much of that comes from you.”  I rest my head against hers and sigh contently. “Thank you, Gwen, I owe so much of her to you. You have helped so much when I moved and have been there for everything in her life. I’m so grateful for you.” I tell her as Erin runs around Gwens’ new apartment. “Well, I need to head out for my appointments. Hey, little one! I gotta go.” I call over to Erin and she runs to give me a quick hug before going back to explore the new space. I hug Gwen again and kiss her softly on the cheek. “I’ll be back later, maybe closer to 8:30. Thank you again, love you both!” I say to them as I walk out the front door and head back to the car. 

My appointments go by fast today, A few line work pieces and the first session of a large back piece. On my way out the door, I get a surprising phone call from Noah. 

Hey! Nat, how are you?

Hey Noah! I’m good, just finished up work for the day and I’m about to head to Gwen’s to pick up Erin. 

How was your day? Any fun ink?

Haha yes, I started on a sweet back piece that will take a few more sessions to finish.

That is awesome!

So I wanted to call and ask about something.

Oh? What’s up? Is everything okay?

yes, yes, everything is great! I just bought my ticket to Austin and wanted to see if you could grab me from the airport on Thursday?  

Oh! Of course, that’s no problem at all. 

Are you sure? I mean I could  figure out the car rental thing if that’s easier 

Oh hush Noah, it’s really not a big deal! We’d be happy to pick you up. 

Erin has been talking nonstop about you coming back to town. She’s making many plans to fit in plenty of activities before art camp next week.

Thank you Natty, I’m excited to see you both. My flight will land around 12 pm but our Airbnb won’t be ready until 4 pm. The other guys won’t be out until later next week. 

Sounds like a plan! We will scoop you up when you land and grab some lunch, Erin will be happy to hear the news.

Have a good night Natty, Lo- Bye! *click* 

“Hello? Noah? Umm okay, bye” I put my phone back in my bag, shake the weirdness off, and just get ready to head to pick up Erin and give her the exciting news. 

Gwen texted me what they decided on pizza for dinner, so I quickly run through the Dan’s Hamburgers drive-through to grab a big cheeseburger and curly fries.

Eating my dinner quickly on the road I switch on the radio and turn between channels until I find a familiar female voice. It takes me back to being a little kid in my parent’s car on a long car ride home.

“Hey there, It’s Delilah here with a collection of love songs to set your night off right. I know love comes and goes and I hope you find a love in your life that brings you the most joy and fills your heart with wonder.” 

Her soft voice drifts through my car and I settle into listening to the rest of her radio show until I get to Gwen’s. The love songs drift through the air…

So break my step

And relent

You forgave and I won't forget

Know what we've seen

And him with less

Now in some way

Shake the excess

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

“Okay, Delilah I get it! I’m figuring it out…just get off my back.” I grumble at the radio and switch it to the next station. 

I may not always love you

But long as there are stars above you

You never need to doubt it

I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

“Oh fuck off,” I say as I shut off the radio and complete the ride in silence. 

Erin races to the door when we get to the car, “I had so much fun with Gweny but I am sooo tired.” she slugs against the door, and when I click the unlock button she quickly climbs into the seat and reclines it back.

I laugh at her actions, shutting her eyes and curling into herself. “That’s what happens when you stay up all night listening to music silly girl.” I laugh and she groans, “I want to learn all of the lyrics so I can sing along when we go to one of Noah’s shows.” she grumbles sleepy. 

“Well they have a break coming up, so you’ll have plenty of time to learn the songs.” I tell her, “Actually, Noah called me after work. He’ll be here Thursday and asked if we could pick him up from the airport on Thursday.” She perks up immediately, springing up from her seat in excitement, “That sounds great! I’m so excited, omg what should we do? We have to show him the diner and oh oh we can take him to the water park! Or we can go rollerblading!” the sleepy child I saw minutes ago is gone and she’s awoken with a new spark.

“Okay baby, we will see what he has the energy for, remember he’s coming off of a long tour, he might just want to grab lunch and hang out at the house. But we will have lots of time to do all of the things you want to.” She’s still glowing with excitement on the drive home. My appointments tomorrow are later in the morning so when we get inside the house we sit in the living room and put on a movie. Erin decides to watch “Encanto”.  Haylie is in her room, probably working on her newest book but pokes her head out to say hi and double-check Erin is staying home tomorrow, with a nod of approval she slinks back into her room to finish writing, “Okay byee love youuu!” she calls as the door closes. 

Halfway through the movie I look over and see Erin has fallen asleep, I finish the movie wiping tears from my face. “Damn Disney movie,” I mumble. I gently move her upstairs and place her in her bed. 

When I am finished freshening up and laying my head down the last thing that goes through my head before sleep takes over. “Have a good night Natty, Love you! Bye.”

My dreams are visions of a future with Noah and Erin. We’re together laughing on the beach, building a sandcastle. I see myself pregnant with another baby, Noah’s eyes brighten up as he places a gentle hand on my stomach and kisses me. Sitting on the sand next to them my hands dig into the sand as the water washes up and the castle returns to the sea. The dream fades and twists into a new vision, Noah and I are arm and arm sitting on the couch watching a movie. The quiet domesticity makes my heart swell, the soft touches and gentle kisses. As his lips move down my neck a quiet gasp escapes me and my eyes shoot open as I vault myself up in bed breathlessly.

“Oh shit.” I say breathlessly, “Keep it together Nat.” 

By Thursday morning my nerves from my dream are taking over, I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach as we wait in the lot for Noah to get off his flight. 

Noah: hey! I’m at pick-up stop H! 

Natalie: Okay! We will be there in a sec! :)

Erin is vibrating with excitement from the backseat and as we turn the corner and see Noah standing with his bags smiling and waving. “There is he! Pull over! Pull over!” Erin yells from behind me. “Okay okay, I have to wait for this car to pass sweetie,” I tell her as a nervous blush creeps up my neck.

I pull up to the side and pop the trunk as Erin shoots out to the car and runs to jump up and wrap her little around Noah. “Noah! You’re back! I’m so excited! What do you what do you want to do? Are you hungry? Me and my Mom like this diner they have the best pancakes!” Erin’s voice rings out and I laugh as I throw the car quickly into park to greet Noah. 

“Hey, Erin! I missed you!” he says dropping his bags on the ground to wrap his arms around her and lift her into a big hug, “lunch sounds amazing.” He turns to me placing Erin back on her feet. She attempts to grab his large duffels off the ground as I round the front of the car and the butterflies flutter again as he brings me into a firm hug. “Hey Natty,” he whispers into my hair. “Hey, Noah,” I respond into his chest. Erin struggles with the bag lifting it into the trunk. “Oh, honey -” I start but Noah quickly rushes over to help throw his bags into the back. “Thanks, little one,” he says to her and ruffles her hair. 

Noah opens the back door and lets her climb back into the car while I move to the driver’s side as a parking guard starts to look like he’s heading closer. “We’re heading out!” Noah politely waves to the guard and gets into the passenger seat. 

Throwing the car back into drive I carefully pull out. “So lunch?” I ask and Noah and Erin agree in unison. “So Erin, your mom says you have a lot of plans? What is first on the list?”

“Do you know how to rollerblade?”

[roycevelvet]

Tangled hearts

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x reader Warnings: none Notes: I have nothing interesting to say, I was listening to 'Heather' lol + i was thinking about Sons Of Anarchy Jax while writing this, pls keep that in mind x

You were walking next to Noah to your local pub, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you like a whirlpool. You'd been best friends with Noah for as long as you can remember, sharing laughs, tears, heartbreak, happiness and everything in between. But there was this secret, this feeling you kept hidden deep down—a kind of love that felt too risky to admit, scared it might ruin your friendship.

As you arrived at your local pub, the familiar sights and sounds washed over you as you settled in your usual spot. Noah plopped down beside you, his smile lighting up the room. It was a routine, almost, Noah snagging the seat next to you without fail. If he didn't, well, he'd sulk like a kid missing their favorite toy.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Noah asked, his eyes sparkling as he leaned in closer.

"I was thinking we could start with a game of pool," you suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," he replied, his tone light and playful. "But you know I'm going to beat you at pool, right?"

You laughed. “We'll see about that," you teased, your heart swelling with love for your best friend. "Besides, if you beat me, I might have to find a handsome stranger to console me."

There was a pause, a flicker in Noah's eyes that caught your attention. His smile wavered, his gaze shifting.

"Really?" Noah's asked, arching his brow.

You shrugged. "Who knows?" you said with a playful wink. "I might just sweep some unsuspecting guy off his feet with my killer pool skills."

Noah's expression darkened. “Mh, okay.” he muttered.

You furrowed your brow, caught off guard by the sudden change in Noah's demeanor. "Are you okay?" you asked, concern coloring your tone.

Noah forced a smile, avoiding your gaze. "Yeah, I'm fine," he insisted, his tone not quite convincing. 

Lost in your thoughts, you attempted to immerse yourself in conversation with your other friends, hoping to distract yourself. But then, like a sudden gust of wind disrupting the peace, the door swung open almost with a theatrical flair, like those damn Hollywood movies, and just the most beautiful girl stepped inside.

Your heart skipped a beat as she made her way across the room, her presence along drawing the attention of everyone around her. Your gaze followed her, unable to tear away as she approached Noah, her smile as bright as the stars.

And then, like a dagger to your heart, Noah turned towards you and the rest of your group, his eyes lit up with genuine joy. "I want you to meet someone special," he said, his voice filled with excitement.

"This is Heather," he introduced, his gaze never leaving your face. "My girlfriend."

The words hung in the air like a heavy shroud, suffocating you with their weight. You forced a smile, your heart breaking with each syllable that escaped Noah's lips. Who the fuck is she and where did she came from? Since when has Noah a girlfriend?

"It's lovely to meet you, Heather," you said with the sweetest smile.

Heather smiled warmly. "Likewise! Noah's told me so much about you," she said, her voice a gentle melody in the chaos of your thoughts.

As Noah and Heather chatted with the others, you felt yourself drifting further away.

Nicholas squeezed your hand, his silent support a lifeline. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” you whispered back as casually as you could sound.

You watched as Noah and Heather sat down hand in hand, unable to suppress the ache in your heart.

—

Feeling overwhelmed, you excused yourself to go to the restroom, Juno, your best friend, offering to come with you. As soon as the door closed behind you, the tears just came streaming down, and you collapsed against the wall, also like a fucking Hollywood movie.

Juno wrapped her arms around you, holding you tight as you sobbed. Juno knew about your feelings towards Noah.

"I don't know what to do, Juno," you whispered between sobs. "Noah, he... he's always so flirty with me, always acting strange when I mention other guys, always so touchy and needy and then he pulls this stunt? Since when is he dating a girl named Heather?”

Juno's grip tightened around you, her own confusion evident in her silence for a moment. "I wish I had the answers for you, Y/N," she finally said. "But I don’t, I’m sorry, men are trash."

Her unexpected comment caught you off guard, and despite feeling heavy, a little laugh came out. It was a moment of relief in the middle of all the chaos.

You nodded, tears still running down your face. Despite feeling sad and insecure because Heather was the most stunning girl you’ve had ever seen, you knew you had to act tough.

Standing up straight, you wiped away your tears. "No man is going to make me cry today," you declared. "I'm not going to let Noah ruin my night. I'm here to have fun, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

—

As the night rolled on and the drinks kept coming, you did your best to ignore Noah and Heather. But for some reason, Heather seemed dead set on getting to know you, constantly interrupting your conversations with her silly questions. You just wished she'd leave you alone with her pretty eyes, perfect nose, and flawless skin.

Despite your efforts to be friendly, you kept your interactions with her short. Not really in the mood to mingle with her, even though nothing was her fault actually. It’s not like she had any say in how God chose her to be his favourite. You asked Noah to play a game of pool, but suddenly he wasn't interested anymore, only eyes for Heather. So, you did what you knew best: flee the situation and find that handsome stranger to console you.

If Noah could bring along his girlfriend, you figured you could find some fun for the night too, right?

Juno was by your side, the ultimate wing woman. It being a Friday night, the pub was crowded with people. It didn't take long for Juno and you to approach a couple of guys for a game of pool. You played the part of a clueless girl, pretending you didn't know how to play, so the tall, blonde haired stranger would offer his help, just like in the movies, again. 

As you engaged in the game, bantering back and forth, the tension between you and the stranger grew stronger. With a playful smirk, he leaned in closer, his eyes locking with yours. "You know, for someone who claims not to know how to play, you're doing pretty well," he smiled.

You chuckled softly, feeling a flutter in your chest. "Beginner's luck, I suppose," you replied. "But who knows, maybe you could teach me a thing or two?"

A spark of interest igniting in his eyes. "I'd be happy to give you a few pointers," he said flirty. "But only if you promise to give me a chance to win you over with more than just pool skills."

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a whisper. "Well, in that case, consider me intrigued," you said, a smile playing at your lips. "Lead the way, pool master."

“I am Jax by the way” he said as he flashed a smile. “Y/N, nice to meet you.”

—

Noah watched as you interacted with that douche, sharing laughs and exchanging glances, and couldn't shake the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. His discontent grew more apparent by the minute. 

Finally, unable to contain his annoyance any longer, Noah started bitching to Nicholas. "Can you believe Y/N right now?" he asked sharply. "She's completely ignoring me for that guy. It's like she doesn't even care that I'm here. I mean us, I thought it was a friends night out.”

Nicholas raised an eyebrow, looking at Noah with a hint of amusement. "Maybe she's just having fun," he suggested.

But Noah shook his head, his frustration evident. "It's not just that," he continued, growing more agitated. "That guy she's with, he's not good enough for her. And he clearly doesn't have a clue what she wants.”

“And you know what Y/N wants? Are you’re the Y/N expert?” he laughs.

Without hesitation, Noah replied firmly, "Yes, of course I do. And it's not that guy." His tone left no room for doubt.

Nicholas listened carefully as Noah complained further. "Are you jealous?" Nicholas asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Noah's expression darkened, his jaw tensing as he struggled to contain his emotions. "Why would I be jealous?" he replied defensively. "I've got Heather, remember?"

But Nicholas could tell that Noah wasn't being completely honest. It was clear that Noah's true feelings for you were far more complicated than he was willing to admit.

—

As you chatted with Jax during the game, seeing Noah and Heather being all lovey-dovey in the corner made you feel a bit jealous, well this was maybe an understatement. They looked so cozy together, like they belonged with each other. It made you want to puke, want to pull your hair out but it also made you wish you were Heather as well. You just wanted to smash her pretty, little face into a wall. So, yeah, you were only a bit jealous.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Jax asked, flashing you a friendly smile as he lined up his shot.

“Nothing special, just hanging out with some friends.” You replied nonchalantly.

Jax chuckled, leaning against the pool table. "Same here. Thought I'd come out and see what the night had in store. And I must say, meeting someone as intriguing as you was definitely unexpected."

You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks at his compliment. "Flattery will get you everywhere," you teased, taking your turn at the pool table.

As the game continued, the conversation flowed effortlessly between you and Jax. But you couldn't stop thinking about Noah and Heather. Feeling jealous like that was weird for you, and it made you feel like like you weren’t good enough.

But before you knew it, the game had ended, but the tension between you and Jax grew strong. With a shy smile, you found yourself blurting out, "Do you maybe want to go for some fresh air?”

You knew you were acting out of spite and jealousy, but Jax was a cute guy, so no harm, right?

Jax's eyes lit up with excitement, mirroring your own. "I'd love to," he replied eagerly. "Lead the way." mimicking your words from earlier.

You motioned for Juno, to let her know you were okay as you and Jax made your way out of the bustling pub.

—

Meanwhile, Noah's mood was shifting from bad to worse as he watched you leaving with Jax. His face turned red with anger, and he clenched his fists, fuming silently. Nicholas noticed Noah's frustration and tried to calm him down.

“Are you okay, man?” Nicholas asked.

Noah waved him off, trying to play it cool. "It's nothing, just being protective, you know? Y/N's my best friend, and I just want to make sure she's okay," he said, but his words rang hollow, even to himself.

And to make matters worse, Heather was up his ass as well now. Heather, who had been observing the situation all night, couldn't hold back her frustration any longer. She wasn't a fool. Noah was always talking about you. About how funny you were, how kind you were, even how beautiful you were. That's why Heather wanted to get to know you tonight, to scout the competition.

"Noah, ever since Y/N went to talk with that guy, you've been acting weird," she said, her voice tinged with annoyance.

Noah's facade cracked, his frustration boiling over. "Why are you acting jealous all of a sudden? Y/N’s just my best friend," he snapped.

Heather's eyes widened in shock, hurt flashing across her face. "Excuse me?" her voice rising in anger. “I’m the one acting jealous? You're the one with a girlfriend, yet you're acting like a possessive boyfriend over another girl. Maybe you should figure out what you really want before pointing fingers at me!”

"No, no, it's not like that," Noah tried to backtrack, but his words only seemed to further fuel Heather's anger.

"What do you mean it's not like that? It’s exactly like that!” Heather yelled, her voice sharp with frustration.

Heather stood up in a hurry, grabbing her jacket from the chair. "Call me when you made up your mind about what you want, I don't have time for this." she said firmly before storming out of the pub. 

Noah watched her go, his jaw clenched in stubborn silence. He made no move to follow her, his gaze followin her to the door where he spotted you standing outside. The sight of you and the stranger chatting outside only seemed to add fuel to the fire of Noah's already simmering emotions. A mixture of jealousy and frustration swirling within him. 

He didn't know what to do, so he just stayed where he was. He didn't chase after Heather, and he didn't approach you either. He just stood there, watching, feeling lost.

To be continued.

[neverknoah]

Noah catching you smoking a cigarette when he hates it more than anything.. and you being a stubborn brat.

ooooooh this is goooood!!!! as someone who has quit smoking, this one hits close to home, but in a good way lol

you’re sitting outside on the back porch or on your balcony thinking your being slick because he’s not home, but what you don’t know is that he has just walked through the door looking for you but when you’re no where to be found he checks the last place you’d be, outside. however, you’re so in your own world that you don’t hear him open and close the back door. as you blow out a cloud of smoke he’s ripping the cigarette from between your fingers and stomping it out on the ground scaring you in the process because you hadn’t heard him come outside. when you go to yell at him his eyes are full of rage and his lips are pulled into a tight line.

“what the fuck?!” you shout.

“I thought you quit?!”

“yeah, but today was fucking awful and I needed one!!”

“you don’t see me smoking when i’ve had a bad day! you’re ruining your lungs!”

“yeah, well noah, i’m not you!” you yell back, standing up from your chair coming chest to chest with him. “why can’t you just leave me alone. i’ve had a bad day and I don’t shit on you for drinking when you’ve had a bad day!!!”

as you finish your statement, you try to push past him and back into the house but he blocks you, grabbing your face with one of his large hands.

“you better loose the fucking attitude before you go inside, doll. the only reason I did what I did and said what I said is because I fucking care about you and your well being. so don’t pull that shit with me,” noah states, loosing his grip on you face and replacing it with a gentle palm to your cheek. “I love you and support you because I know you’ve worked so hard to quit and seeing you fall back into this old habit hurts. so don’t act like a brat when I only have your best interest at heart.” he states with only love in his heart.

his words hit you like a ton of bricks and you hang your head low looking at your feet on the concrete below.

“i’m sorry i know.” you state with a quiver in your voice and tears welling in your eyes.

“it’s ok, baby no need to apologize. I just wanted you to hear me out. i’m not mad just upset. come here.” he says, pulling your body against his. one of his tattooed arms pulls your head into his chest and the other wraps around your back rubbing your back. the two of you stand there basking in each others embrace for a while. after a while he tilts your head back so that he can look into your eyes.

“I love you so much, but I also want you to find healthier ways of dealing with your stress, ok?”

“yeah, I understand and I know I shouldn’t but ya know.” you shrug but agree, nodding your head.

“good.” he smiles, giving you a kiss on the lips before the two of you go inside.

[cookiesupplier]

Hell Ain't So Bad - Part Twenty-One

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence, swearing, cheating.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware. Only one part left after this of Hell Ain't So Bad, and then we start A Friend Down In Hell

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @notingridslurkaccount @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @jilliemiw86 @emmmm127 @laurpartyprogram

“Noah.”

Looking up at him, her breath caught in her throat, Ellie felt frozen in place.

“Ellie.”

Not BabyGirl. She remembered she’d shut him down for that. He hadn’t called her that since, not even in the messages. She’d noticed. Her heart and her head screamed two very different things, and do not ask her which one was saying which right now because for the life of her, she couldn’t tell you. One wanted to throw herself at him, right into his arms, wrap her own around him and never let go. The other wanted her to slam the door right in his face, his tired, drawn face. And he did look it, so tired, he looked a mess. Noah’s dark eyes looked dull, weary, whether of her, and of whether she’d bother to give him the time of day, or something else he’d been dealing with, she didn’t know. His hair hung limp around his face, and there were shadows forming under his eyes. This was not the Noah she knew. In a blink he could change his appearance, she knew that, but this was a Noah that didn’t seem to care. That didn’t seem to be fussed over anything, and it hurt some to see him like this. To see him beaten.

Why did it hurt? There was a part of her that was still so angry at him. How dare he make her feel like this. How dare he look at her with those eyes and make her want to crumble in her arms and beg his forgiveness for ignoring him, for sending him away, and she’d done nothing wrong!

Steeling herself, Ellie took in a deep breath as she looked up at him, with the state of him, she was almost surprised he was standing right now. He looked dead on his feet. Was he sleeping? None of the others had said anything about him doing this badly, but then again, she had refused to hear anything about him, refused to talk about him at all if she could help it. So how would they have been able to tell her anything? How would they have been able to tell her they were concerned about him or not?

“May I come in?”

He asked, his voice rough, and not in the roughness that told her she was going to be in for a wild night, wicked that would have her voice hoarse from delicious screams by morning. Still, Ellie blinked slowly and nodded slightly, accepting, he asked, he asked instead of demanding, for that she could give him time.

“I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

Offering without thinking, because, honestly, it sounded like he needed one. He sounded wrecked, and, if he was there to talk and not to knock her off. Hey, she was already dead, what more could he do to her, right? Aside from dragging her to a punishment realm, and Nicholas had already assured her she wasn’t assigned to one, then, the least she could do was make him a cup of damn tea while they talked. Find out what he had to say for himself.

Stepping aside, she let him pass her by and come into her apartment. The whole place was so very different from that first night he’d brought her home, that first night she’d drunkenly tried, and failed, to seduce him at the time. It had gone from just being a place where she just slept her nights away, considering she'd barely arrived back then, and now, this was her home. Noah had spent many a night with her here if she was honest, and yet right then, as he walked in, the way he looked, he just seemed, adrift, and it hurt her heart even more than she missed him. Less than two weeks ago, it had felt like he belonged here, about as much as the stupid fake plant Jolly had given her when all the boys had realised how easily she kept killing the ones they’d kept replacing for her housewarming present. Sure, she might keep a cactus alive, but this was one prettier! It had bright flowers, she loved the flowers.

Standing in her kitchen, she watched as he moved to sit on one of the stools at her breakfast bar, swallowing as she set the kettle to boil and prepared Noah some tea. It was Mama Ruffilo’s special blend, she made it herself. He was silent as he waited, just watching her while she moved around the kitchen until she set the cup in front of him lightly and moved to sit across from him with her own cup of tea. As he took a sip, sighing as she looked at him. Swallowing as her hands curved around her mug, trying not to think about how formal this felt now that they were sitting across from each other. Those dark eyes looked right into her like they always did though, a shiver running down her spine.

“Do you have any idea how much I have tried to beg to get this tea out of Mama Ruffilo?”

Ellie smiled slightly at the question, his voice a touch smoother, but still so rough, and tired. Noah was trying to find a way to be light-hearted, she could tell, but what was between them was weighing them both down.

“Please, she’ll practically give you anything you want, Noah Sebastian. She loves you like a son, Nicholas always spouts that she’d disown him and adopt you if her husband would let her, and you know it.”

Shaking his head a little, taking another sip of his tea slowly, easing it down his throat before speaking again. His eyes held a little mirth at her words, she wasn’t wrong, it was a running joke between him and Nicholas about his mother, however when it came to this tea, that was a different story altogether.

“Not this tea, this is her magic tea, this is her feel-good tea. She only ever gives it up when she wants to make someone feel better, or, she particularly likes someone. She hasn’t given that tea to any of us to take home, ever. Furthermore, she gives it to Nicholas for his office to calm anxious people, she makes us a cup when we visit, but lets any of us take some of it home. Never. Until you. Everyone says I’m her favourite, but I think it’s you, BabyGirl.”

Noah’s voice grew smoother, and softer as he spoke, the tea soothing his throat as it did. She tried not to react, but a tiny smile formed on her lips as he spoke of Mama Ruffilo and how protective she was of her tea, and his claim that she was her favourite. Never had she ever been anyone’s favourite before. She did know about the tea at the office, she’d been one of those that needed a little soothing, just as Nick had told her, she remembered telling his mom about her magic tea, and how it healed her cough.. She realised now that she’d known she was dead, it was a horrible reality, figuring out all the people who had hidden so much from her. Did it make her a horrible person that forgiving Mama Ruffilo was easier, though? Was it cruel to hold it against Noah? He’d been in her home, her life, her bed.. He lied to her every day.

Then her breath hitched, that tiny smile on her lips froze, and her heart clenched when she heard it, BabyGirl. She remembered him telling her how nothing could make him not want her as his BabyGirl. Taking in a sharp breath as her expression dropped, setting her mug down, she wasn’t sure calming tea was going to help her now.

“Noah, I-”

Swallowing, she didn’t know what to say to him.

“Listen, Ellie, I would have told you if I-”

“Don’t.”

Her eyes closed quickly as she stood back from the bar and shook her head, no.

“I don’t want to hear you tell me excuses, about how you would have told me if you could have. Noah, you could have. You chose not to. You lied to me, Noah, you started a relationship with me knowing you were lying to me, the entire time.”

Ellie couldn’t help the way the words were flowing when she started talking now, almost ranting at him. Noah’s dark eyes pained as he regarded her, he hated that she thought that they got involved as they did, and how he felt about her, and all she could think about was that he lied to her. He knew why, he knew... And it was killing him.

“I’m not-”

She just kept going, cutting him off as he tried to talk.

“And don’t you dare try to say we weren’t properly dating, because I was stupid enough to keep telling myself that again and again, that we were just hooking up, and just hanging out every time you came over to spend time with me. That we were only enjoying ourselves, nothing more. Even if we never said the words specifically, even if we never actually called them what they were, we’ve been dating for months. You’ve been lying to me for months.”

Standing from the breakfast bar, Noah’s voice was forceful as it cut through her little tirade, but he had no choice as it was the only way to get her to hear him as her words just kept steamrolling forward. “Goddammit, Ellie, I’m not Jeremy!”

He couldn’t stand it anymore, he couldn’t stand her accusing him like that, she wasn’t saying it, but she was comparing him to that bastard, he could feel it, every time she talked about their relationship, talked about him lying.

“Yes, I lied, I should have told you, but I didn’t, because, I love you BabyGirl. After our talk, I was trying to convince Nick to tell you, I was going to enlist his Mama if I had to, to get him on board, but I was not going to back down. I didn’t care if I was going to get busted down to the lowest of ranks, I would have done it.”

Ellie glared a little at how aggressively he spoke about Jeremy, she knew he wasn’t, didn’t she? She went to yell at him, how dare he assume to know what she was thinking when he kept going, and suddenly she was completely floored with what he was saying to her.

Watching him, completely silent, a bit dumbfounded actually as he paced back and forth, ranting about how he was going to push Nicholas to finally agree to tell her if it was the last thing he did. Hearing that he couldn’t stand holding back from her anymore, that the night before she found out had almost broken him, but his best friend, his brother, it was his job that was on the line, and betraying him was…

Hearing Noah’s voice crack at the word betrayal had Ellie finding her voice, finally, not just because it was finally dawning on her just how much turmoil Noah must have been dealing with, going in circles dealing with his loyalty to Nicholas, and how much guilt he had with how he’d treated her.. But also her feelings about what he’d said..

“You love me?”

Her voice was so quiet, that the words were barely breathed out. She felt so small. He’d never said it, and she knew she hadn’t either, not until, not until she’d admittedly thrown it in his face that she’d fallen in love with another liar.

Despite how soft her voice was, even with his ranting, Noah heard them, how could he not? Of course, he fucking heard them, this was Ellie, this was BabyGirl, he’d been dying to get her to talk to him all week, and hearing her utter anything at all, and he’d hear it. No matter how painful. Yes, her questioning whether he loved her, was painful, because, did she not know?

No, he hadn’t admitted how he felt, that was something Noah had struggled with since he was young, and he always had, he’d lost so many people in his life, that telling someone how he felt came with actions, over words. He showed them how he felt. Which, is kind of why he tended to round up all the people who hurt everyone he loved and tortured them to wit's end. It was safe to say, that Carla, Jeremy and Gia had truly been enduring so much pain and suffering at Noah’s hands this past week. It wasn’t his wrath that was justly earned, however, his pain that had been poured into their suffering, which just made it all the more potent as far as he was concerned.

Noah moved around the island bar and shifted to stand before her, his hands moving to cup her face in his hands.

“Ellie, BabyGirl, of course, I love you. If you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

His forehead leaned down to hers softly, she shuddered softly, tears glistening in her eyes as she smiled slowly,

“I love you too, you, idiot.”

Thankfully he was already leaning down to press his forehead to herself so it wasn’t hard to bring her lips to his with a kiss. She hadn’t told anyone she loved them properly since, since… Jeremy. Ellie hadn’t dared trust herself to do such a thing, because the thought of that kind of betrayal…

Her heart clenched thinking about loving someone who would use her, and lie to her, and yet, seeing the pain and anguish in Noah’s eyes with the fact he’d been living with the reality, she’d been comparing them.

And she had, hadn’t she?

It made her feel sick.

That this man, this man that had been willing to try and force the hand of the closest person to him in the world, his brother, for her. No, not a man, a demon, who could torture, main, and kill, all manner of beings in ways she could only imagine, and he had been talking about plotting against Nicholas, because that was what he’d been saying in no uncertain terms with that little rant just now. His words were coming out in a jumbled mess as he paced along the breakfast bar, but they had been there. Looking up at him now, her hands resting on his biceps, fingers squeezing lightly as she smiled.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, BabyGirl, but I couldn’t stand the thought of, okay, still having been lying to you when I did.”

She laughed at that, tears in her eye, fuck, why was she crying, her cheeks were wet and Noah was kissing them now, brushing her tears away with his lips. Sighing when she got another good look at him though, shaking her head, she might be in tears, but he looked, damn he still looked like he was barely able to stand up on his feet, how was he still standing right now?

“Come on, Mister, you look like you are about to fall asleep on your feet! What you have been doing all week??”

Starting to guide Noah towards her room, he really did need to sleep, he looked dead tired, and she was the one who was honestly dead.

“I’ve been playing with my new pets, three of them, it's been cathartic to make them scream.”

Oh, oh, she could bet what their names were too, Carla, Jeremy, and Gia.

As she got him into her room, and into her bed, wrapping him up into her blanket, he managed to convince her to join him, she did, wrapped up with him, cuddles, nothing more, he needed sleep. Sure, he could magic himself to look normal, but he’d still be exhausted, and she wouldn’t believe him for a second until she’d seen him sleep with her own two eyes. Her head on his cheek, hearing his heartbeat start to lull,

“Ellie?”

“Mmm, yeah?”

“M’not Mister.”

“No?”

“I’m the fucking king.”

Giggling as she remembered one of his lines at the music show, yes, yes he was.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[ilovebladerunners]

✰; ABOUT ME AND MY ACC + MASTERLIST ⪼

My name is Adrian, I’m a new writer who goes by he/him/she/her. A few things to know about me is that I am a major Ryan Gosling fan and will mainly write about him. I’m heavily fixated on Bladerunner 2049 and Officer K, and he is currently my favorite Ryan Gosling character!

✧ ━━━━━━ ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★.･ ━━━━━━ ✧

➤; WHAT DO I MAINLY WRITE ABOUT?

— I write the usual fluff, angst, and smut topics, but not that great in smut.

— I can write all types of readers, fem/afab, male/amab, trans or non-binary, gender neutral, etc!

— I take all types of requests and will usually say when or when they are not open! You can always talk to me there and share ideas!

➤; WHAT DO I NOT WRITE ABOUT?

— I don’t not write most fetishes or kinks that include nasty things. I will occasionally write about blood or piss kinks though.

— R@pe and non-con is something I steer away from, I only write about dubcon sometimes.

— I don’t not write about actors and their lives with the reader!

— Dead dove do not eat works are a maybe.

— The stuff I don’t write about usually varies and depends on what the requests are!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・

★; MY MASTERLIST || ꨄ FLUFF | ★ SMUT | ✘ ANGST |

OFFICER K —

*______

KEN —

*______

DRIVER —

*______

HOLLAND MARCH —

* Holland March Body Worshipping (gn reader) ★

SIERRA SIX —

*______

LARS LINDSTROM —

*______

SEBASTIAN WILDER —

*______

COLT SEAVERS —

*______

HENRY LETHAM —

*______

NOAH CALHOUN —

*______

RICHARD HAYWOOD —

*______

JULIAN THOMPSON —

*______

DEAN PEREIRA —

*______

JACOB PALMER —

*______

DAN DUNNE —

*______

LUKE GLANTON —

*______

AND MORE TO COME SOON !

✧ ━━━━━━ ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★.･ ━━━━━━ ✧

[jennay]

Last Night

Noah Sebastian x Reader.

An: Let me know if you want to be tagged! :)

Summary:

Life was good. Everything felt like it was falling in place until the night Noah decided to blindside you. Never in a million years did you think he would end things the way he did, not after the hardships and struggles you went through with him to keep the relationship strong and steady. Years later, the memory still haunts you. You never thought you'd be standing in front of him contemplating your feelings again. When reunited, will old feelings take over or was that experience with him really your Last night?

Somebody Else

Maybe it's Me

[thefallennightmare]

Mercy-two

gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Fallen Angel!OC

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, smut, mythological talk, violence.

Summary: "Blinded by a fear of feeling, these are the kings we chose. Lost and looking for the meaning, I've been searching high and low" It came crashing down on him. This is the story of the highest banished angel from where she came only to find home in the arms of a mortal man. This mortal realizing he'd face Lucifer himself to keep her.

Lethia: Archangelus Oneironaut also known as Archangel of Dream Walking. Across worlds and dimensions, she walks within. Uncovering dangerous secrets, leaving her cast out, isolated- that is until she begins to learn what it means to feel.

Authors Notes: I hope you all enjoy what I have planned for this story because it's going to be amazing!

Tags[OPEN]: @thescarlettvvitch @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @cookiesupplier @lyschko666 @shilohrosechicken @thebadchic @iknownothingpeople @sammyjoeee @malice-ov-mercy @kaelyn-lobrutto24

LETHIA

I stood before the old, cracked, mirror, completely bare, and a scowl stared back at me as I took in my new appearance. I felt off; wrong, and despised the darkness that encompassed the room. I held my hand out in front of me to look at the long black nails; sharp as knives. My gaze then took in the sight of the wings that protruded from my shoulder blades and a sob left my lips when I realized that I didn’t look like myself. The ink that covered my arms had no true meaning or designs but one held my gaze longer than the others. 

It was on my ribs and the design was of a snake wrapping around a hand that held an apple. I titled my head in confusion at it, unsure as to why this design was the one that stood out to me so much. 

Up in the kingdom, my hair was down to my back in golden waves, my nails were short nubs, and my skin was pure with no ink. But I wasn’t sure what I was more afraid of, my wings or my eyes. 

My eyes were blood red as I stared at myself in the mirror. It was as if pure evil was in my presence.

The devil. 

My body shook at the thought, not knowing where that word came from, and the noise my wings made echoed throughout the abandoned building I was holed up in. The wings that I felt disgusted by. Angels were known by their wings and everyone knew of my bright golden ones. But now, the darkness that caused my fall had taken over every aspect of my form. 

My wings were black as the night sky but seemed to almost glow in the darkness of the building. What used to be soft and weightless was now heavy and jagged as it felt like a crushing weight against my back. I wrapped them around myself, hiding underneath the dark feathers, and I let out a shuddering breath. I despised the way I looked now and turned my back to the mirror, refusing to look at myself any longer. 

During my time in the Kingdom, I never was present when angels fell but I heard many stories. In all of them, an angel never changed during their fall. They lost their wings but their looks remained the same. Throughout the entire history of angels and the Kingdom, as far as I knew, I was the only angel that drastically changed. 

Was it because I went against the King? Was it because of who I found myself in bed with before my fall?

I didn’t know where I went from here, unsure of the path I needed to follow. Since creation, I followed some sort of leader or order but now my purpose didn’t matter. 

Through all the doubt and confusion, there was one thing I knew I needed to do. I sat with my legs crossed and took a deep breath while letting my eyes flutter shut. I’d been in this place for the last few days, hiding away from the outside world, as I tried to center myself. Even though I was upset with the way my appearance changed from the fall, I was glad that my powers remained; especially the fact that I was able to become aware of my surroundings. I was in a different time period and while at first, I felt different, an outcast among mortals, with hours spent dream walking I was able to learn more about where I fell.

The cool air brushed along my bare skin, my nipples perking, as I let out a long breath, finally feeling weightless when the scene in front of me changed. No longer was I sitting in the abandoned building but instead, I was standing in front of yet another mirror, still naked. I looked in the reflection of the glass seeing a bed behind me with orange lights glowing from behind it. There was a figure sitting at the edge of it with a piece of fabric wrapped around his waist and water dripped from the long strands of his hair. 

The window to the bedroom was open and a crow perched itself on the sill of it, cawing when our gazes locked. I’d seen this crow many times before when I dreamed walked, almost as if it was my familiar. 

With another caw from the bird, the man on the bed snapped his head, brown eyes drinking me in as I shifted on my feet and when his hand extended towards me, I studied the tattoos that seemed to cover every inch of skin. 

“Lethia.” 

I twitched as if hearing my name on his lips awoke something within me. 

“Come here.” 

Instantly, he pulled me into his lap and my hands rested on his shoulders. It wasn’t only his hands that were tattooed, almost every inch of his chest, stomach, and arms were as well. 

He brushed the hair from my face but I kept my gaze cast away from him, not wanting him to see the darkness behind them. 

“Don’t hide from me, Lethia. I want to see those eyes.” 

A finger lifted my chin where briefly our gazes locked and my heart beat widely in my chest. His name weighed heavy on my tongue but I refused to say it. He licked his lips before they pressed delicate kisses along my jawline, down to my neck, and I sucked in a breath when he used his grip on my hips to move me back and forth on his lap. The fabric that covered his bottom half did nothing to hide the outline of his cock as it pressed against my heated core. 

“Say my name,” he rasped in the crook of my neck leaving bites against the skin. 

I did my best to shake my head as a moan fell from my lips. Unlike outside of the dream state, I was able to feel his touch; his fingers gripping my hips, his teeth scraping along the pulse point of my neck, and the head of his cock breaking free from the fabric and sliding against my folds. 

There were many times in the kingdom that I found myself intimate with other angels, my most recent lover the reason for my fall, but something with him was different. The way my heart pounded so hard in my chest, I could hear it in my ears. Or the way my stomach burned with desire and spread through my entire essence. 

“Say it,” he poised the head of his cock at my entrance. 

I shook my head. “No.��� 

A grunt sounded from the back of his throat before he switched our positions so he was leaning over me while I lay beneath him. My fingers quickly worked through the long strands of his still-damp hair, marveling at the softness of them. Intense eyes stared down at me, lip caught between his teeth. 

“You’re an angel.” 

“Shit,” I mewled when he finally pressed his cock between my folds, filling me up completely. 

Not giving me a second to breathe, he began slamming into me with such force I scratched my nails down the tattoos of his chest and stomach to try and grab onto something. 

“Say. It.” He punctuated each word with a hard snap of his hips. 

His fingers linked through mine and held our intertwined hands above my head. The fire burning from his eyes was almost too much to take so I dropped my gaze lower to his neck and I sucked in a breath at the tattoo. 

A snake wrapped around a hand that held an apple. 

The pad of his thumb brushed against my swollen clit in fast circles and my toes curled as the orgasm washed over me in a tidal wave, his name finally falling from my lips. 

“Noah.” 

My eyes snapped open with a choked breath as I nearly stumbled over in my position on the floor. I was back in the abandoned building, alone, and quickly rose to my feet while trying to gain my composure. When I dreamwalked in the past, there never was a set destination, only going where my brain and heart guided me. I wasn't sure why it led me to the man who saved me a few nights ago. 

My skin prickled with desire, the feel of Noah still heavy on my senses, and I squeezed my legs together hoping it would kill the ache in my core. It wasn’t uncommon for angels to lay with other angels; I had before, more recently with Lucifer. Which, some above in the Kingdom would say that’s the reason why I fell. 

But with this mortal, Noah, something felt different inside of me. An unknown heat burned my entire soul at the mere thought of him. Although I couldn’t feel his physical touch, his emotional touch hindered me in the most confusing ways. 

With a deep breath and a roll of my shoulders, my wings sank into my back while I reached for the jeans and shirt I stole from the store around the block. I quickly got dressed and slipped into my black boots. I tried not to let the thoughts of those brown eyes and the tattoo on his neck hinder me from my current mission. 

I needed to find a church. 

NOAH

My feet pounded lightly against the pavement as I left my car parked in the street, ready to meet up with the guys for a late lunch. I’d been in the studio most of the day and when Jolly called about getting something to eat, my stomach growled in agreement before I could. 

“You need to get out of the house, Noah. You’ve been locked in the studio the last three days.” 

I didn’t bother arguing with Jolly because it was true. The old, battered, notebook I used to write my lyrics never left my side the last few days, my current page being bookmarked by the long black feather; the one Lethia left behind in her wake. The image, the thought of her taking over every part of me. Even in my dreams, she felt so real. The touch of her, the scent of her, and her sweet sounds especially the dream I had mere hours ago felt so fucking real. Even the crow that watched us from my window. 

I was still perplexed as to why for the last few weeks I kept dreaming of Lethia, long before even meeting her. And why ever since I did meet her, the dreams felt more intense; real. 

Running a hand through my hair, I rounded the block and pushed past the large crowds of people that poured out from the bar, stumbling into the streets; dressed to the nines in costume. With Halloween a couple of weeks away, some of the local bars were having Costume Nights, hence what I was seeing right now. There was a sudden commotion just past the group of people and I stopped at what I saw.

“What the fuck,” I muttered the curse into my hand as I rubbed my jaw. 

Lethia was standing at the corner of the block with her hands wrapped around a man's wrist. 

“What gives you the right to say those vulgar words to me?” the anger in her voice radiated down the block. 

The man, dressed in a white toga and golden leaf crown, tried to rip his arm from Lethia’s grip but hissed out in pain. 

“Those jeans do wonders for your ass, sweetheart. Those tits are begging to be grabbed.” 

A scowl pulled on her lips. “Mortals. You’re disgusting. You all think you’re owed anything you desire.” 

“I’ll give you whatever you desire,” the man traced a finger down her face. 

Jealousy stabbed my chest seeing how close he was to Lethia but before I could step in, she had twisted his arm over her head, causing him to flip over onto his back, slamming into the pavement below. He tried to fight it but Lethia simply stepped on his chest, keeping him locked in place with her boot. 

“What the fuck,” he struggled. 

Lethia pressed the heel of her boot harder into his chest. “I should eviscerate you, right here. In front of your friends who simply can’t stand up for you. How pathetic.” 

One of the guys’ friends snuck up behind Lethia to try and wrap an arm around her neck to pull her away but she must have heard or sensed him because she whipped around, knocking him back with elbow. 

“Fucking bitch!” The second guy cried out, clutching his bloody nose.

Toga guy scrambled to his feet but Lethia was two steps ahead of him and kicked him in the nose, knocking him back down. 

“How is she so strong?” Toga guy spat out blood. 

Hearing the crowd next to me muttering something about calling the police, I cursed and pushed my way through, knowing that if I didn’t do something soon, Lethia would be in a position she couldn’t fight her way out of. 

“What the fuck!” She screamed as I quickly scooped her up, tossing her over my shoulder. “Unhand me! NOW!” 

Her hands smacked against my back but not wanting to risk staying around the mess of bodies at my feet, I quickly ran back down the block toward my car. 

“Can you stop smacking me?” I grunted while shifting her position on my shoulder. 

“LET ME GO!” Lethia tried to knee me in the gut but I wrapped my arm tighter around her legs, keeping her locked in place. 

It took a bit of trouble but I managed to reach for my keys to unlock my car just as I walked up. Yanking the door open, I gently dropped Lethia into the front seat, her feet kicking widely at me. 

“I swear to gods if you don’t stop kicking me, I’m going to leave you here to deal with those assholes on your own,” I said with agitation. 

It was a lie. I had zero intentions of leaving her here with them, even if she could handle herself. 

Lethia halted her thrashing for a moment, tilting her head up towards me as I leaned over the car. 

“Gods? What Gods? There is only one King,” she said. 

Sudden commotion from where we just came from caught my attention and I saw Toga guy and friend frantically looking around. 

“Shit,” I cursed while quickly buckling Letha into her seat. 

“What is this contraption? Why can’t I move?” 

Ignoring her shouts, I shut the door and ran across to the driver's side, easily slipping behind the wheel. Thankfully I was able to drive away without the two guys noticing Lethia was in my front seat.

“What the hell was that about?” I asked, glancing at her briefly. 

She kept pulling on her seatbelt. “Those men said such vulgar things. I couldn’t allow them to get away with it. 

The sound of the blinker echoed in my car as I turned left, our destination unknown. 

“I’m pretty sure you broke both of their noses,” I chuckled. 

“I would have done more if you didn’t pull me away,” Lethia grumbled under her breath, the seatbelt snapping against her chest. 

She didn’t even flinch. 

“You need to let me out of whatever this thing is.” 

I raised a brow. “Have plans?” 

Her red eyes assessed every inch of my car before her gaze fell on the side of my face. 

“None that concern you,” Lethia replied flatly. 

I hummed while pulling the car to a stop at a red light. My fingers drummed against the steering wheel as silence filled the tiny space between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Lethia stared straight out through the windshield of the car. 

“Do all mortal men have staring problems?” Her lips were pulled in a tight line. 

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my smirk away. “I’ve never seen eyes your color before.” 

When the light turned green, I began driving again, hoping Lethia would give me an inclination on where she wanted to go. 

“There’s quite a lot you don’t know about me, Noah,” she clicked her tongue on her teeth. 

My cock twitched in my jeans at the way my name sounded on her lips and I shifted in the seat, my knuckles turning white from how hard I was grasping the steering wheel. 

I cleared my throat. “I’m glad to see your injuries healed up nicely.” 

“I said they would, didn’t I?” Lethia smugly smiled. 

Ignoring her witty remark, I pulled into a parking lot. She gazed up out of the window at the large yellow M sign. 

“Mephistopheles?” 

“No,” I shook my head with furrowed brows. “Mcdonalds. I thought you might be hungry.” 

She fell back into her seat. “I don’t eat.” 

I continued to stare at her, confusion etched in my bones. This was only our second meeting and every time she either said or did something that made me question where she came from. 

“I know you said you weren’t hungry but what if-.” 

Lethia suddenly sat forward. “Is that a church” 

With narrowed eyes, I followed her finger as she pointed to a building across the street. 

“Uh-yeah?” I answered with hesitation. 

“Thank you,” she gave a curt nod then all but scrambled out of my car. 

“Wait,” I followed her movements by walking in front of the car. 

But it was too late, Lethia was already halfway down the block. 

“Where are you going?” I called after her. 

“I need to talk to the King!” She waved a hand over her shoulder and then slipped into the sudden darkness that encased the church. 

I never pegged her to be the religious type, needing to talk to her king this late in the evening but then again, I didn’t know much about her to begin with. 

My feet went to follow but the buzzing from my pocket halted me and when I peered at the screen, I knew I couldn’t ignore this. With a long sigh, I got back into my car, Lethia still heavy on my mind. 

LETHIA

I sat in the long, beaten, pew, and stared up at the altar where a lone statue of Jesus stood. His arms spread wide as if it was accepting everyone’s sin with a stone face; literally. A low scowl pulled on my lips as I glared at the statue. 

“I don’t understand why your creation was more important than ours. The King always favored you more than us.” 

An ear-ringing silence filled the large space of the church as I continued to sit there, waiting for any kind of sign from above. 

“I’ve followed you since my creation. I was your number one for as long as I can remember. However, you cast me out because I loved someone other than you? We were all your children but didn’t think twice about turning your back on me.” 

I sat forward with a start, hands gripping the pew in front of me and my long black nails dug into the wood. 

“Why did you cast me in a different time? Is this punishment?” 

The only noise in the church was the sound of the old building creaking with the blowing wind from outside. 

“Fuck, give me some sort of answer!” I bellowed, my voice echoing. 

More silence and that’s what finally made me rise to my feet with a start and I spat on the floor. 

“Why did I think I’d get any answers from you? I’ll figure this out on my own.” 

Turning my back to the altar, my footsteps bounced off the marble walls as I pushed open the doors of the church, bounding down the steps with newfound adrenaline. It was foolish of me to think I’d get the answers I deserved in a building that was built for two things; worship and greed. 

My fire eyes stared straight ahead as I pushed my way through the bodies of mortals whose problems paled in comparison to mine. My mind was filled with so many different things, that I hadn’t realized I walked straight into a body, never feeling his touch, until my voice was called; quite loudly. 

“Lethia!” 

My gaze snapped up towards those familiar brown eyes, filled with warmth and concern. 

I was wrapped in one of his arms, although I couldn’t feel it, I knew his fingers were grazing over my lower back; I felt it in my heart. 

“Are you alright? You look pretty upset,” Noah asked. 

His scent tickled my nose and it brought back memories of when I walked in his dream earlier. I was able to feel everything in his dream; his touch, his lips on my skin, his cock as it buried deep inside of me, and my orgasm as it ripped through me. 

But here, in the flesh, I couldn’t feel any part of him on my skin. My lip quivered because out of all the confusion on where my life went moving forward, what dug the knife deeper into my chest was the fact I couldn’t feel him. 

He’s a mortal! Why does my heart yearn for him in ways I don’t understand?

“Are you following me? It seems like everywhere I turn, you’re there!” I snapped, ripping myself from his embrace. 

Something flashed in his eyes. “I promise you, I’m not.” 

The tattoo on his neck caught my attention as it peaked through the hood of his black sweater and I felt my hands twitch at my sides. My long nails practically begged me to dig into the bright-colored ink because it mirrored the one on my ribs. There had to be some kind of connection between us, hence why I thought of Noah when I fell and how easily it was to walk into his dream earlier. Not to mention our matching tattoos. 

His long hair was pulled back, only a few strands falling into the soft features of his face, and it was then that I noticed the large bag on his shoulder. 

“What’s that?” I motioned towards it.

“My guitar,” Noah shifted it on his back. 

“Guitar?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded with a faint smile. “You know, for music.” 

Music. 

“You play- music?” I spoke slowly. 

“Yeah, I have a band. Bad Omens.” 

The proud smile on his face made something flutter in the pits of my stomach and I shifted on my feet at the uncomfortable and unknown feeling. 

“Do you know Luce, then? He used to play music all the time for me.” I wondered. 

If the King couldn’t give me the answers I sought, I knew Lucifer would if I found him. 

Noah’s brows furrowed. “The name doesn't sound familiar, sorry.” 

Cursing, I ran a hand through my hair, it still shocked me that my hands smacked my shoulder instead of continuing to run through long longs. The short length would take time to get used to.

“Why don’t you let me take you home? It’s getting kind of late.” He suggested. 

I waved him off. “I was kicked out of my home.” 

Noah’s jaw dropped slightly. “So, where are you staying then?” 

Movement over his shoulder caught my eyes and I sucked in a breath; familiar emerald eyes staring back at me. They were calling me in, pulling my soul back to his. Black strands of his hair were combed back, further showcasing those bright eyes. His olive-colored skin I spent many nights in the Kingdom kissing sparkled under the moonlight. 

“Lethia, come home.” His deep rich voice spoke to me. 

“Lucifer,” I breathed. 

Noah’s face twitched. “What?” 

Ignoring him, I pushed past him and through the sea of people, trying to reach Lucifer until his form vanished with the blowing wind.

[aplaceinthedark]

chapter twelve: PATH that I FOLLOW

Summary: Down in the Shenandoah Valley, there lay a court consisting of the Grim, the Drowned, the Witch and the Watcher.

CW: supernatural themes, mentions of vehicular accident, mentions of motorcycle accident, mentions of religious sacrifice, ptsd, bodily injury, body horror, graphic violence, angst, blood, major character death

Every chapter will have a different cw section. This is Bad Omens rpf, so obviously I don't know all the little nuances of the members or their family members.

A/N: Some things are color-coded. If any of you are colorblind lemme know. 

YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM.

YOU ARE WEAK.

YOU ARE EMPTY.

I tried to scream as Michael’s eyes pleaded. For me? For God? For mercy? I could never tell. How did Jolly’s song go?

We asked Him if He would take us back, He would surely tell us no.

“Mikey, please, hold on,” I pleaded. It felt like I had been saying those words for hours as I tried to scrape my way forward, but either my fingers couldn’t find purchase, or with every inch I gained, another inch of pavement was created.

My head dipped, forehead pressed against the searing hot street. Tears streamed down my face. Was this my own personal Hell? Some kind of divine retribution from a god I stopped believing in when this scene actually happened? Could I not be happy for just once?

I tried summoning some strength using that momentary burst of anger, pushing myself up and shoving myself further. But when I looked up, I could see that I barely moved again. Michael’s eyes seemed to laugh at me, rather than beg for me.

I let out a sob. “Please…”

YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM.

YOU ARE WEAK.

YOU ARE EMPTY.

“Oh, shut up.”

My head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice. “Nick?” I asked, almost a whimper.

“Something like that. It’s kind of complicated, but if it makes it easier, then we’ll just say that’s what I am,” he said, sitting next to me. His clothes were intact, hair thrown up into a messy bun. He looked just like he did when he explained this whole mess to me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“The leader of the cult cast a malediction on you, attempting to Hollow you out. I’m guessing he was trying to put the Black Stag in someone since his first attempt didn’t work out,” he said.

“Am I… Am I dying?”

“No, no you aren’t dying. But if you give in to despair, It wins, and we’ll lose you.” He looked up at Michael. “Do you really live with this guilt all the time?”

“N-Nick—“

Nick waved his hand, and the horrific scene around us froze. No city sounds. That’s when I realized I couldn’t feel the pain in my side, and felt energized. I pushed myself up to where I could sit.

“Can I wake up now?” I asked.

“No, you’re not dreaming… not really. I’m working on that, but it’s gonna… it’s gonna take a lot. The Black Stag has to take a Vessel, so It’s using the cult leader instead.”

“What do you mean—“

“It wasn’t your fault, y’know?” he said. Nick looked from Michael to behind me, and then to me, his green eyes piercing me. “You feel guilty for not being there for your brother, or for your parents, but there was nothing you could do. I know how that feels, not being there for your best friend. Believe me, it nearly killed me."

“But unlike me back then, you have friends now that can help you, if you let them.”

“Your friend tried to kill me,” I stated flatly.

Nick’s mouth quirked to the side. “Did he now? We’ll have to kick his ass for that later.” He sighed. “Not long now.”

I tilted my head. “Not long for what?”

Nick stood up. “Promise me you’ll forgive yourself? Stress is a killer.”

“What do you mean? Where are you—?”

He held out his hand, and pulled me up when I took it. His hand moved up my arm and curled around the back of my neck, pulling me for a breath-taking kiss. He parted, resting his forehead against mine. “I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I want you to know that I love you.”

Before I could ask him what was going on, I felt him evaporate from my grasp. Still dazed from his kiss, I slowly opened my eyes, and found that I was no longer on that street near Virginia Beach. I was back in the cold hollow, lying in the dirt.

I started pushing myself up, pain settling back into my bones as I remembered that yeah, I definitely have several broken bones. That’s when I heard something fall to the ground in front of me.

“Nick?”

Noah’s voice was like a bucket of ice water being thrown into my face. I managed to get up, stumbling my way over to where he and Nick were—

Why was Nick on the ground?

“Nick?” I asked, falling to my knees next to him. “Nick?!” I shakily pressed fingers to his neck, placed a hand on his chest. Nothing.

“Nick!”

Nick was dead.

I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. Nick couldn’t be gone; he just pulled me out of a nightmare.

“No no no no no no no—“ I stumbled over my words. This couldn’t be happening. This was all another nightmare. Another malewhatever Nick had called it.

Then Noah was beside me, shoulder to shoulder, and he was gripping Nick’s shoulders and shaking him, shouting his name and crying. Folio and Jolly stood only a few steps away, the Drowned supporting the Grim from collapsing.

And I was just sitting there, numbly staring down at another lifeless body. “…you have a little piece of me in you, and I love you.”

I had fallen unconscious shortly after Michael died, and I wasn’t there when my parents died. Processing their deaths had been… delayed, for a lack of a better word. And when it was time to truly grieve, to put them in the ground and then move on with life somehow, I did nothing but swallow it down and run off.

Nick? There was no unconsciousness to hide away in. No run-down house in the middle of the woods on a sparsely inhabited mountain to run away to. Here was death, staring me right in the face as it spit on me, and I was going to stand there and take it whether I wanted to or not.

No, this was reality.

That’s when I started screaming. Screaming with every atom in my body as I poured every emotion on the bad end of the spectrum into it. I screamed into the void beyond as if Nick could hear me from there:

“I can't lose you too!”

I barely felt the hand on my back; barely felt the tears that streamed down my face. I couldn’t feel the cold that permeated the hollow, nor the dirt and blood that coated my skin.

“Please, I’ll do anything; give anything, just bring him back. Please!” I pleaded with anything that could hear me, not caring if it was the Woods or the Dark or whatever who answered. “GIVE HIM BACK!”

All I could feel was the invisible string that bound us. That string that we strengthened last night when we came together. That string that first bound us when he healed my wounds. That little red string around my wrist, still there despite the hell it went through, paled in comparison to that golden thread.

I pressed my lips to Nick’s, like I felt compelled to. Like this was some stupid fairy tale and true love's kiss could bring him back. I couldn’t care less that Noah was also there, his forehead pressed to the back of my shoulder, or if I was being watched and judged by Folio and Jolly.

His lips were still warm. I love you, too, I said to the ether, wishing I could’ve told him to his face.

All of a sudden, my stomach lurched, like I was going to throw up. I tried pulling away, but it was like I was magnetized to Nick. A warmth spread from me, up my body, and into my mouth. Like I was a conduit for something greater.

"I had to use some of my own energy…"

“You have a little piece of me in you...”

When I was finally able to pull away, I looked down at his face, his cheeks coated with my tears, and Noah’s as well from the sounds coming from beside. I watched as a warm golden light lit up the veins in Nick’s face, traveling up until they lit his iris’.

As the golden light quickly faded from his eyes, I felt a soft thud below my hand. And then another.

It was like someone took shock pedals to his chest. He took a gasping, deep breath, his back arching violently. With a shout, Noah backed away, but still stayed close to Nick’s side.

Nick settled back down, his chest rising and falling. His green eyes searched until they found mine, wide with disbelief.

And with a groan, he gasped, “Thanks for… holding on… to that…”

My mouth dropped open.

Suddenly, a large something fell on top of us, and it wasn't until I heard the hysterical laughter - or sobbing, I couldn't tell - that I realized it was Noah wrapping his arms around us. Multiple sounds joined him, and I realized I was in the middle of a supernatural dog-pile. Quite literally, when I felt fur shift to warm skin.

“Geroff… can't breathe!” Nick shouted.

The others pulled back, if only by a little bit, but I didn’t lift my head from Nick’s shoulder, even when Nick slowly sat up. It wasn’t until he lifted me off him did I let it settle in that Nick was here with me; he was alive.

I hadn’t let myself believe it until he smiled at me and pushed my damp hair away from my face. Couldn’t believe that I had actually saved someone until he opened his mouth and said two words: “Thanks, Tay.”

And I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long while, something akin to true happiness. And it caused me to burst into tears again. Nick tucked me into his side, trying to soothe me.

Folio was the first to break the silence. “We gotta get out of here,” he said, nudging the body of a headless corpse with his bare foot.

Nick grimaced. “Gimme a second, I need to recuperate.”

Once again, I had forgotten about my broken bones. “Yeah, some of us are only human,” I joked. Nick squeezed my waist, which earned him a small yelp of pain.

As Nick sat on the ground amongst the roots of a great oak tree, leaning back against it for support, I looked over at Noah, who was looking at me instead of Nick. When our eyes met, which I had just realized were almost identical to mine, he nodded.

THANK YOU.

I held his stare for a moment before I mentally shrugged. You owe me.

The only response I got was the sound of low laughter rumbling in my head.

The aftermath of the night was shockingly unremarkable. Jolly, Folio, and Noah did most of the heavy lifting, moving the bodies to a wide part of the river, where the water would carry them off to various silt-covered crevasses. There was nothing left off the cult leader, whoever he was, thanks to Nick. Eventually his body had rotted away to wet dust, so he was left on the forest floor.

Folio and Noah helped me and Nick back to my house, where Folio helped us indoors - Noah’s permission had been revoked, but luckily Nick didn’t know that he had been allowed in in the first place. I’m pretty sure I slept the entire day away.

When I woke up, it was to an empty room save for Jerry, curled up into a black and white cinnamon roll on one of my pillows. I had panicked, anxiety constricting my rib cage to a point of pain. Folio came in and assured me that Nick was outside, sucking a few trees dry of their essence. In the meantime, I was forced onto bed rest with only some pain killers and water to help.

As I stared up at the ceiling of my room, Lydia having come in and curled up next to me, I couldn’t help but notice something felt off about me. Not just the broken bones and the bruises, nor the fact that Nick must’ve changed me into clean clothes. It felt like something was missing from me. Like in the nightmare, the Black Stag had been slightly successful and had hollowed out a tiny bit of me.

It wasn’t until later, when I had woken up from another long rest did I realize what it was. I had woken up with no pain, my head resting on Nick’s thigh as he drew something on a tablet. He gave me a small smile when he saw I was awake. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah… Are you the one to thank for that?” I groggily asked, rubbing my eyes to free them of sleep. I hesitantly stretched, but was only met with the faint echo of pain. Like the last remnants of a bruise that you press to feel if something was still there.

“It’s the least I could do for what you did,” he said, putting down the tablet.

“Yeah, about that… Did you…” I trailed off, trying to put into words what I was thinking, “When I was put under that spell, did you try to communicate with me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were in my nightmare… well after a while you were. You weren't in the bad part,” I hastily said. “But you were there, and you helped me break out of the trance I was in.”

“The malediction?”

“Yeah, that’s what you called it.”

“I can’t communicate through dreams, so I don’t think that was me. Maybe it was your subconscious?” He suggested. He lazily played with a lock of my hair, twisting it loosely around his finger.

“But… It didn’t feel like it! It felt like you were really there,” I said.

We were silent for a few moments, unable to describe what the feeling between us was. Why did it feel so awkward all of a sudden?

He rubbed the red string attached to my wrist between his thumbs. “Was this how you found me?” he asked.

“Yeah, I casted my first spell,” I said, unable to keep the pride out of my voice. I sounded like a small kid showing their parent their first preschool project.

His thumbs stilled. “Oh… That’s what it was,” he said, more to himself.

“Nick, for the love of all that is unholy, we’ve gone through too much for you to go back to being cryptic ‘n’ shit—“

“The ‘Nick’ in your nightmare,” he interrupted me, “was the bit of energy you kept.”

“I kept what now?”

“When I healed your concussion, I had to use my inner power to do it. It’s like… using a little bit of your soul instead of using the Woods. I gave you a piece of myself, and you held onto it until you used it to bring me back.”

“…So that’s how I was able to do your magick? How I talked to you?” I asked. He nodded. I sat up. “Is that why I can’t feel you anymore?”

I already knew the answer before he slowly nodded after a while. The emptiness I felt was the absence of Nick.

“Does that change how you feel about me?” he asked.

I stared up into hopeful blue-gray eyes, and I knew my answer. “You tell me,” I said, caressing his face.

His answer was on his lips.

As for the other members of the Court, Folio and Jolly concerned themselves more with clearing out the woods of any more cultists, which thankfully there were none. They would occasionally visit, whether it was at night or when it rained.

Noah wasn’t as frequent a visitor, though it wasn’t due to jealousy. Nick found out what Noah had done to me when he was gone, and they got into it badly. It took over a month for them to get over it. A bad month, since that was the month of getting Granny’s funeral and assets wrapped up.

After the wake, when Nick was conversing with his family, I had slipped away. During the burial, when the pastor was talking, I felt a pair of familiar eyes peering from the treeline a ways off. The familiar feeling reminded me of my first night here, when I was scared and unprepared for what was out there.

“Come to pay your respects?” I asked the silent spot.

CAN’T REALLY GO OUT THERE AND DO IT PROPERLY, NOW CAN I?

“No, I guess not,” I said, peering over my shoulder. Luckily no one was looking over this way.

IS HE DOING BETTER?

“Yeah, he’s getting there,” I said, slipping my hands into the pockets of my black jeans. Autumn had come to Appalachia, and my black blazer had barely kept off the slight chill. It was weird to think that a month ago, I was practically boiling alive.

Noah and I had forgiven each other before Nick had. I had kept up the offerings, but had changed from apple to carrots for a week straight.

“How's the clean-up going? No more cultists?” I asked.

HAVEN’T SEEN ANY. WE’VE SCARED MOST OF THEM OFF, IF THERE ARE ANY MORE OUT THERE.

“I haven’t heard missing people reports of the ones you guys killed,” I said. Granny’s death and the restaurant guy’s death were the only ones that were being talked about, asking with the mystery of where the killers might be.

POLICE ARE PROBABLY COVERING IT UP.

I nodded, peering over my shoulder again. Nick was looking at me. When he saw that I was looking, he gave me a small smile before turning back to his family.

“What are you gonna do now?” I asked Noah.

There was a rustling sound amongst the trees, and for some reason I imagined him shrugging his shoulders.

SAME THINGS WE NORMALLY DO, I GUESS. HUNT THE PATHS, TERRORIZE LOST HIKERS—

“That’s so not funny, Davis,” I said.

SERIOUSLY, I DON’T USE THAT NAME ANYMORE. IT DIED WHEN I DIED.

“Then stop calling me little rabbit,” I said. I could feel him rolling his eyes, so I sighed, “I gotta call you something besides Noah when I’m pissed at you.”

SEBASTIAN.

“But that’s too long—“

“Who’re you talking to?”

I looked behind me. Nick raised an eyebrow at the treeline.

“No one, really,” I said. I could hear some branches in the woods snapping, and I wondered if I made Noah grumpy. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Nick said.

I looped my arm through his as we walked back through the cemetery. With one last parting glance, I shot back to the treeline, Don’t be a stranger for so long.

BE SEEING YOU REAL SOON, LITTLE RABBIT.

One night, about a week after the funeral, I was woken up by a knock at the front door. I panicked for a few seconds, grabbing my phone out of habit, when it buzzed in my hand.

Nick 😺🍌: I’m sorry if I woke you. Let me in please?

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t… I couldn’t sleep in that house by myself,” he sighed as I wrapped my arms around him. I could see his eyes were rimmed with red.

“I know, Nick. I know,” I said reassuringly.

“Can I… stay here? Until the house gets sorted out?” he asked.

“Stay as long as you like,” I said, sighing into his neck. “The cats are already here, anyways.”

He chuckled, the puffs of his breath tickling my scalp. “Thank you.”

We slid into my bed, and he rested his head on my collarbone. “When we were kids, she used to tell us these stories to help us go to sleep,” he said.

“Why don’t you tell me one, if it’ll make you feel better?” I asked.

“Well, if you insist,” he said. And he started telling me this story…

Tysm for reading! Final part coming soon!

[starsomens]

Warnings: deals with bad home situation, may indicated past trauma, leaving home Proceed with caution!

So this is very personal and in a way self expression...or what I wish I could do. but I also think a lot of people can relate to a situation like this so I hope this could potentially bring some comfort to someone out there and maybe they'll feel less alone

me: noah? Noah: yes princess? me: can you come get me? Please. Noah: I'm on my way. Is everything okay? Are you okay? me:....im okay. just come please.

You get a text about 10 minutes later when Noah was outside of your house. You climb out of your window with just a bookbag and a small purse. you quickly climb into his car and say nothing. Judging by your face he knew not to ask right now and drove off. The ride was quiet but not uncomfortable. He knew you had it rough at home and he's always said to text him any time of day when you had to get away quickly. Even if that meant you never going back.

Which is why you were driving down the road at 3 am.

He had a peek at your bag that had some clothes, underwear and other essentials. As if you were sleeping over....but that wasn't the case. Pulling up in his driveway, he gets out of the car , comes to your side and opens the door. He grabs one of your bags and you take the other. You were still in your Pjs and slippers and you looked exhausted. He put his hand on your lower back and lead you to the door.

You come inside and the house was quiet, Nick was in the kitchen getting some water and you gave a half smile. Noah comes down to your ear

"Go to my room, I'll be there in a second"

After you went upstairs he goes over to Nick and just lets him know you might be staying for a while. Nick had absolutely no problem with it. You got along really well with his friends and they were basically like family to you now. Noah goes upstairs and into his room where you were sat on his bed, lost in your own head. He put your bags near his desk and came over to you.

"Y/N....come here." he said softly as he opens his arms for you to come into. You scoot over until your head was against his chest and his arms wrap around your frame. It made you feel so small, fragile....and safe. You body shakes as you try and hold in a sob, he just rocks your body and lets you get it out

"Shhh its okay baby I know.." he kisses the crown of your head "You're okay now, I'm here baby."

You chest felt like it was weighed down and broken all at the same time. You felt so numb but felt so much all at once. You didn't want things to end up this way...but things just happen

but at least you had Noah to be your rock

"You're safe baby. I swear to you, I'll always be here." he held you tighter "I promise"

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Twenty-Three

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Taglist: @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah @thebadchic @jessitpwk@madomens @samanthasgone @myownthoughts12@missduffsblog @jilliemiw86 @malerieee @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @badomensls @robabankfuckmickeymouse

“Things are pretty normal given the situation. Noah has called a lot since he left and talks with Erin for almost an hour on the phone each time. We talked for a little bit but honestly, my feelings for Noah are getting so cluttered it’s hard to talk to him for too long” 

“When you say cluttered what do you mean exactly” 

“It’s just hard talking on the phone, you know, with everything. We saw each other for the first time in ten years and then I shook his whole world telling him he’s a father and I just wish I knew what he was thinking. We didn’t have enough time to talk about it all. He met Erin and it was great but I just…I feel like a failure of a mother for depriving her of him for so long and I don’t know how to express to him that I’m sorry. And honestly, I’ve never let myself get fully over him, I just feel like there’s always been a piece of me that has loved him, maybe just from what I see in Erin.” 

Dr. Grady is quiet for a few moments while she thinks and takes in my words. 

“I cannot speak for Noah, but I believe forgiving yourself for the past is important and a necessary step in your healing. You’ve already mentioned that there’s nothing you can do to change what has happened and it seems like you’re focused on helping Erin navigate this situation. As for your feelings about Noah, there is nothing I can tell you, that is a completely personal journey that you will have to take.” I sink lower into the sofa in Dr. Grady’s office and try to unjumble my thoughts, but those surrounding Noah will take time to fully unpack. 

“And on top of all of it, my brother just got to town last night and I swear if you had told me ten years ago I would say I was jealous of Kyle's emotional maturity I would have pissed myself laughing.” As I tell Dr. Grady more, I recall my conversation with Kyle last night after Erin went down for bed. 

“So, she met Noah huh? And she seems pretty happy about the whole situation so I’m guessing it went well?” Kyle asked cautiously. “Yeah, it went better than I expected. He was great with her, asked her questions about what she likes, talked to her about music and his life. He’s called her every other day since he left and they talk for hours.” I tell him as I pour the two of us a cup of hot tea. 

“How do you feel about all of this?” He asks while blowing the steam off the cooling cup of tea in his hands. 

“When I myself understand my feelings I’ll let you know.” I let out a pathetic laugh, “I’m happy for Erin, she’s happy and that’s what’s important. I’m trying not to think too much about all of the "what ifs you know? I told myself that I wasn’t going to let my feelings mess this up for her. She deserves a relationship with her father” I tell him honestly and then because I’m unable to stop it the word vomit spews out of me. “But I can’t help thinking what if I had told him ten years ago, would we have gotten back together? Would I have ever known truly if it was for me or just because I got pregnant, I mean how would you feel missing Natasha’s birth, her first steps and her first words?”

He takes a sip of tea and sits up straighter in the kitchen chair. “I think I would be upset at first, which you said he was but Nat, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep thinking about all of these hypothetical scenarios.”

“But like would you be able to forgive Maggie? Would you still haven’t wanted to marry her?” 

A look of complete understanding washes across his face, “Nat, why do you insist you deserve to be hated for this? Why can’t you accept that he’s forgiven you and move forward? You forgave him for leaving all of those years ago. You’ve forgiven me for all the terrible things I’ve done, forgiven Dad too. You forgave Mom before she died. You believe everyone is worthy of forgiveness but you, why?” 

“You believe everyone is worthy of forgiveness but you…that’s what he said. It sent me for a loop. It’s true. I’ll allow everyone to be flawed and make mistakes but when it comes to myself I wonder how I haven’t been dropped by every person in my life” I explain the conversation to Dr. Grady and wait for her response as I sit up and prepare for the end of our session.

“It’s common for people with anxiety to suffer from severe self-criticism. I’m going to send you a few readings I’d like you to look over before our next session and we can discuss it more since we are almost out of time.” She clears her throat and straightens up the papers in her hand. “It’s a very good question your brother asked. I think you should think about that one, why do you think everyone else is worthy of forgiveness but you? Because you are Natalie, you are worthy of forgiveness and you need to start by forgiving yourself.”

I quietly thank Dr. Grady for our session and leave once our time is finished. 

She’s right and so is Kyle. I constantly forgive everyone all the time but never allow myself the grace of forgiveness.

Erin is happy, Noah is happy and it’s about damn time I let myself be happy too. 

It’s around 4pm when I return home from therapy and my grocery store run. I got all of the essentials for a fun backyard fire pit dinner. We’re roasting hotdogs and then s’mores for desserts later. 

When I get into the house I hear laughter and music filtering in through the kitchen, I walk through and notice the sound is coming from the backyard where Maggie and Kyle have set up the waterslide for the girls. 

“Uncle Ky! Go go!!!” I hear Erin bellow as I see my brother fling himself down and slide all the way to the end of the slide. 

“Oh hey, Natty!” Kyle calls, standing and shaking the water out of his hair. “How was your appointment?” He asks softly. 

“It was good! Yeah, I feel good, thank you for talking to me about it last night, it was really helpful Ky.” 

“Of course sis! What are twins for?” he says and then wraps his arms around me wiping water all over my dry clothes. “Kyle! Ugh!” I call out and push him off of me while he lets out a full bellied laugh. 

A few hours later we are sitting, dry,  around the warm fire. Kyle and Maggie are staying at a hotel but when Natasha started to get sleepy we put her in Erin’s bed until they left for the night. 

I’m helping Erin roast a marshmallow when Maggie comes into my view, handing me a glass of wine. “I think it’s time for that girl-talk I was promised” she giggles and turns to Haylie who’s sitting and roasting her own s’more, “and I mean you as well girl, I wanna hear about this new book. You gotta tell me if they’ll end up together in the end please” 

Haylie laughs and zips her lips, “hey I’m spoiler-free over here.” 

Handing Erin her assembled s’more she thanks me and takes a huge bite causing marshmallows to overflow out the side and drip down her chin. I laugh and wipe it before it hits the floor. 

Kyle stands to leave us to girl-talk and gestures towards Erin, “Come on sweety, let’s go watch a movie while your mom has her lady talk, it’ll be boring” 

Erin giggles into her s’more “They just want to talk about Noah and how mom used to like him and now they��re both weird” she states while tossing a strand of hair over her shoulder and I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me, “yeah, sorry for being weird kiddo. I’m working on it.”

“Aren’t you observant?” Kyle says to Erin steering her towards the back door. 

The three of us giggle at the way Erin was able to perfectly sum up the situation, “She sees everything I swear and she’s too smart.” I comment under my breath as I take a small sip of the wine Maggie brought me.

“What’s going on in that head of yours Natty,” Maggie asks and her face is nothing but compassionate. “Too much Mags, too much.” I take another long sip of wine and look into the slowly dimming fire. “I am so unbelievably happy to see Erin happy..”

“I’m sensing a but coming,” Haylie chirps from her chair on the other side of me. 

“But.” I say, giving her a pointed look, “but I am just still navigating my own feelings about all of this, so I’m just a little scatterbrained.” I admit.

“Do you think it’s possible Noah could still have feelings for you?” Maggie asks and I shoot up in my chair, surprised by her question. 

“Oh god no, I was just talking to my therapist about how shocked I am that he can even stand being around me,” I say and Haylie busts out laughing. 

“Oh my god, are you blind? Dude the way he was looking at you not only the literal day you told him about her but the day he came over and was here for like eight hours, for Erin of course but Natty, there is no doubt he was also here for you.” Haylie says with a matter-of-fact tone and my eyes roll back so far I think they might never come back. “Oh please, there is no way Noah has feelings for me, It’s been ten years and at this point, we are just trying to navigate this co-parenting thing.” 

That gets a laugh out of not only Haylie but Maggie as well, “you’re either blind, stupid or both if you don’t think that guy is and always has been in love with you, knowing he now shares a child with you is only going to cause him to further attempt to submit himself as the only man in your life,” Maggie says but I shake my head in disagreement, I just don’t think that is in the cards for Noah and me anymore no matter how easily I lose myself in his eyes, or how I secretly listen to his music and have always known he was the most talented person in the world. 

“Whatever our feelings for each other may be, Noah and I have agreed that the most important thing is Erin’s happiness. I’m not going to risk that so I just need everyone to respect that.” I say with more firmness in my voice than intended. Maggie looks at me with a quiet understanding, “I will support you either way. I’m always on your side.” she says. Haylie nods in agreement “Me too.” 

We spend another hour outside finishing our wine before heading back inside to see Kyle and his family off for the night. Erin heads up for bed soon after and I do a final sweep of the kitchen before heading up to bed myself.

As I’m laying my head down my phone rings lightly and I hesitate slightly before answering. 

Hey Noah, is everything okay? Sorry but Erin is already asleep if you wanted to talk. 

Hey, yeah everything is okay. I figured she’d be asleep, I was hoping to talk to you actually. If thats okay?

Oh, um yeah, we can talk. Whats up?

Are we okay Natty? 

I freeze. What does that even mean? Are we okay?

Um. yeah? Why wouldn’t we be okay? 

I just feel like…I don’t know how to say this. I’ve been trying Natty but when I talk to you on the phone it’s like you can’t get off fast enough.

What do you mean? I just figured you wanted to talk to Erin so you could get to know her more. 

I mean, of course want to talk to Erin, but Natty I want to talk to you as well.

It’s been ten years and I meant what I said about wanting to be in your lives. 

You want to talk to me? About what? 

He laughs and the warmth of it climbs into my heart and makes a nest. 

I want to know about your life, I want to meet the Natalie that you’ve become and I want to try and make up for all this time I’ve lost.

Oh. I’m - well I’m sorry if I was short with you on the phone. Honestly, all of this has been a big change for us all.

I haven’t been good about dealing with this, obviously. 

Yes, It was a big change but I want you to know that I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this alone anymore. I truly do intend to be there. For both of you.

That’s co-parenting right? We’re in this together now. 

Yeah. Together. I like the sound of that. 

I can’t help the blush that spreads across my cheeks and down my neck, I know he meant together as parents but for a moment I allow myself to believe we could be the happy family I’ve always dreamed of. 

I know it’s late so I can let you go if you’re getting ready for bed-

No, no, I can talk. Unless you’re tired.

No, we just got off the stage and I’m to amped up to sleep yet.

So Natty, tell me about your life. 

We talk on the phone for hours. About the last ten years, I told him about life with Erin and we reminisced about life when we were young. I don’t remember hanging up, but I guess I fell asleep sometime while we were talking because when I woke up there was an unread text on my phone.

Noah S : goodnight :) I have missed talking to you these last ten years Natty. It is good to be back in your world. 4:13 am

I walk down the stairs with a spring in my step and I feel lighter than I have since this all began. I know we will all be okay and I can finally say that Noah and I are friends again after all of this time.

The rest of the week with my brother and Maggie is so much fun. We spend time at the park, go to museums and even a minor league baseball game. When they leave at the end of the week I give Kyle a big hug. "Thanks for everything Ky, I love you bro."

"I love you too sis, you're an amazing person. don't ever forget that."

Noah and I start texting more frequently in-between our phone calls and I find myself smiling and laughing more at my phone than I have in years.

In a week Noah will be back and Erin is so excited.

I won't lie, I'm pretty excited as well.

next chapter

[kingdom0fcards]

Noah and His lover.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian/Nicholas Ruffilo

Content warning: implied homophobia, character death, and decapitation (all descriptions are brief)

A/n: I hope y'all enjoy this, maybe I'll make a full story line for this and add more lore to it if anyone is interested in that.

Noah will never know what it truly means to be happy.

To see his love ripped away from him in the same disturbing way every time they meet again makes his stomach churn and his throat close up. His love dying in the most brutal way of decapitation in every life he walks will forever haunt Noah.

His love dying by the blades of many swords and guillotines. His love dying by many hangings gone wrong, freak accidents, and by his own hand at times.

Yet Noah has to watch it happen every time.

He's immortal, a punishment set to him when the town he resided in found him and his lover were together many centuries ago. It didn't help that his lover was the prince or the fact that he himself was a spellcaster of sorts.

So they bound his lover, tying him to the first guillotine he would get wrongfully murdered at. They bound him to a pole, making him watch his lover's beautiful head get torn away from his body as he sobbed and screamed for them to stop.

The townspeople found another spellcaster, forcing the poor man to grant immortality on Noah and force him to forever find his lover, the immortality unable to be reversed unless the spellcaster that granted it allows it. So Noah's stuck in a forever loop of seeing the love of his life die.

He always finds his lover, always, but it always ends the same. Noah will never find his happy ending, nor his lover.

...

Over the years Noah became a kleptomaniac, taking things that remind him of his lover's many lives.

He's taken many items of clothing, storing them in separate boxes with a few other things from those lives. He's taken crystals and jewelry, and as of most recent a tattoo gun.

The tattoo gun sits on his nightstand, forever reminding him of his love that he just recently lost.

It was a dreadful sight... Noah walked into his tattoo shop, hoping to finish the tattoo his love has worked on for a decade at this point, and he saw him as beautiful as ever.

They got halfway done before a robbery happened, the robber running and his lover chasing him out the shop. He left his tattoo gun at his station and Noah knew he was taking that next as he heard a scream from outside.

The robber pushed Noah's lover away, causing him to lose balance and decapitate himself on a rather sharp fence outside the shop. Noah ran back inside sobbing, taking the tattoo gun and leaving with a still unfinished tattoo.

So now he lays in his bed, scrolling through all the accounts his lover has made since social media was made, even the ones that were made centuries ago.

Noah only finds his lover every twenty years, even though he first met him when he was sixteen. He thought he was the most beautiful man ever, his dark hair and green eyes, and his beautiful smile that Noah swears lights up a room. The fact that his hand fits perfectly in his and the way their bodies snap together like a missing puzzle piece finally found.

It's painful, missing his lover. Sometimes they can't even spend enough time together to fall in love. Sometimes Noah only sees him once and awhile before he tragically passes. He hopes the next twenty years is different, he hopes he can avoid his lover's death and live with him forever.

...

Noah truly thought this time was gonna be different.

His lover lasted longer this time and Noah got to admire him longer. Noah got to fall in love again, his lover fell too. He found his lover at a coffee shop and he gained the confidence to go up to him, complementing the tattoos that adorned his skin.

His lover chuckled with a "thanks" and Noah's heart fluttered, asking if he could sit with him. His lover nods and they sit talking for hours in this little coffee shop in Virginia.

That was two years ago, the longest his lover has lasted. Now here Noah sobs, holding his lover's corpse in his arms after a car accident that wasn't his fault. Noah doesn't understand why he has to live and his lover can't. He doesn't understand why he's cursed with this immortality and his lover can't live with him forever too.

After Noah left the hospital he stayed at he immediately went to his lover's residence in this lifetime, taking his lover's prized possession to forever remember this lifetime with him.

He got home and placed the teal bass guitar on his wall, it was a perfect fit around all the clutter of things from his lover's past. He sobs, curled up on his bed and clutching the hoodie his lover bought for him in this life.

He just wishes this curse would be lifted.