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jklovesfandoms · 2 years

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This was originally going to be Ricky being touch starved, but idk what it is now, lol.

Cw: not super graphic, but mild description of death/decapitation and the aftermath (wow, wonder who that is)

Ricky knew very well what being touch starved and avoided felt like. When you consider that he started needing crutches and wheelchairs and canes and physical therapy, and a lot more, at the ripe old age of 6, less than a few months into first grade, it makes a bit of sense.

When his peers, who he's going to be around for the next 12 years, see him fall down at recess and come in 2 weeks later after way too many tests, using a pair of crutches, and struggling even more to talk for too long, he doesn't have many, or any, friends to get hugs from. When he can't run, no one is going to invite him to play with them, he can't keep up.

When Ricky can't get a word out at the age of 8, after 2 years of struggling, no one stands around waiting for him to talk on his AAC. Not when they could be playing with their friends. Not when they could be doing their reading. Not when they could be eating.

But Richard Potts was used to it. Complete indifference, that is. And getting ignored. Getting overlooked.

Of course, he isn't fully starved. He has his cats, and his parents. But when he turns 10, and food gets too hard to chew, family dinners suddenly go away, to be replaced with liquid meals. When he's 11 and his physical therapist says that he'd benefit from more therapy, to prevent his condition worsening, family movie nights go away too, as both of his parents take more shifts. His parents have long since taken a vow of silence, but no one's exactly sure how long it's going to last. They said that they'll be silent until he isn't.

Ricky isn't sure if they're wanting him to speak again, or to just pass away quicker.

He does know that one is a lot more likely than the other.

When he's 15, only a few weeks before the end of his sophomore year, Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg approaches him at the end of the school day.

"Hey Ricky! Would you like to join the Chamber Choir? We're trying to join some competitions for next year, but we need more than 3 members, and more than a few weeks of rehearsal." Her voice grates him out of his fantasy world of Zolar. He begins to click, quickly getting out a sentence.

-who is in it?- that jumps the 'Most Successful Girl In Town' into action

"So right now, there's me, Constance, and Noel! But you know, that's only 3 people, and for the Kiwanis International Singing Competition, you need to have at least 4 members to compete, and -" she continues to talk and talk, but as everyone learned very early on in their lives in Uranium City, Ricky tuned her out, and started to consider it. This choir was going to be a train wreck, that's for sure. Everyone knew that Noel and Ocean HATED each other. They couldn't stand in the same room for more than 3 minutes without blowing up on each other. Constance wouldn't be that bad to be around. Her little brother is nonverbal, and autistic like him, so he knows that she won't be like the rest of the people in this town. They could at least watch the chaos together from the sidelines. Ricky tunes back in, in order to agree to join, but suddenly reconsiders it, as Ocean continues. "Plus, I'm sure that Kiwanis won't even care that only 3 out of 4 members can sing! You'll probably give us an automatic first place, due to us being inclusive! Accessibility for all! You'll be our first place guarantee, won't you? Oh you're such a good kid Ricky! Thanks for joining, see you tomorrow after school for the first rehearsal!" She quickly skipped away. Ricky hadn't even agreed. Sure, he had pushed the 'sure' button on his AAC, but he hadn't finished or said a sentence yet. He glared towards Ocean, before deleting the sure from his sentence bar, and continuing on his way outside, in order to get to physical therapy in time.

Ricky was 16 when he was stopped from stepping on stage at the Kiwanis International Singing Competition.

"Hey, no technology on stage" the tech person, dressed in all black, said.

Mischa, who had joined only a few weeks ago, quickly jumped in.

"No, no! That is Ricky's voice, why can't take on stage?"

"The signals will block the choir mics. He can have it back afterwards, jeez." The tech person pushed their hand out, and Ricky quickly unlocked his AAC from its holder. Mischa looked pissed.

"Ricky's voice better come back same as now. Understood?" Mischa said, looking ready to beat up the tech kid

"yeah, it'll be right here, don't lose your balls" they said, setting it on the table just inside of the backstage area.

Ricky was 16 when he won second place in the Kiwanis International Singing Competition, as someone who couldn't physically sing, and as a member of the only choir in competition (at least at their size level)

Ricky was 16 and a half when Mischa Bachinski continued to shock him. After having physical therapy during school (that at least got him out of a test), he walked into choir practice, 15 minutes late. Not that they needed him, since Father Marcus was preparing them for the Winter Concert, where admin didn't want him to be playing piano or tambourine. So he wasn't doing anything anyways.

"Ricky! Why are you late?" Mischa almost yelled out. The formatting of his sentences has definitely gotten better over the last several months, but his accent hasn't faded.

Ricky got to his place in the choir, and started to respond, as Ocean was almost berating Mischa for interrupting the practice.

-physical therapy- Ricky responded

"Physical therapy? Why do you have physical therapy?" Mischa continued, interrupting Ocean.

-same reason for crutches. Muscle disorder-

"Oh shit man. So sorry. Fine, fine. We can continue singing, orphan a-hole." Mischa responds, half towards Ricky, and half towards Ocean. Luckily, he muttered his final two words under his breath, which saved him another lecture about swearing.

Choir practice went by quickly after that, especially since Ricky spent the entirety of it helping to save Zolar. But as they finished, he wasn't expecting Mischa to pull him aside.

"Ricky, I must say, you are strong! Physical therapy? I have heard that hurts. You are strong, almost as strong as Ukrainian men. You are cool, strong man, Ricky Potts." Mischa blurts out in the choir hallway. Before Ricky can even process the words, he's pulled into a tight hug from the Ukrainian adoptee.

Ricky was 16 and a half when he remembered for the first time in far too many years, what a hug truly feels like. With his parents taking more and more shifts, and seemingly only showing up to make sure that the cats and him are fed, and everyone being warned since they were 6 that Ricky was delicate, and that they had to be gentle, he hadn't been in hugged in forever. And before he could even fully process the emotions he was feeling, Mischa said something, kissed him on both cheeks, and jogged towards Noel.

Ricky doesn't get another hug from Mischa, or anyone really, for a while. In fact, it's not until his senior year, when at the Kiwanis International Singing Competition (held at the Fall Fair!), where they are once again the smallest choir, and only choir in their competition size, and a shy girl joins the choir, a mere hour before the competition.

Ricky is 17 when he meets a girl, with the greenest eyes, who's just as shy and odd as he is.

Once again, he's not allowed to take his AAC on stage, but she offers to hold it. He can't help but to trust her. Afterwards, as they listen to the other choirs, she sits at the back with him, and talks with him. Not at him. She stops and allows him to talk, makes sure that she hears and listens.

Finally, the small choir decides to split up, and do their favorite things.

"Ricky, would you like to join me at the ring toss? We can ride the Graviton afterwards, if you'd like! There's a very pretty doll as a prize." She asks, then rocks on her feet, as she waits for a response.

-sure, I would be happy to- and at that, she quickly leads them both through the slight crowd and towards the nearly empty ring toss booth.

"Hello! Here's 5 dollars for the ring toss! I want to win that dolly over there!" She exclaims, handing the 5 dollar bill to the only other person there, the carnie worker.

"Here's your bucket of rings, it's a yellow prize, so try to get it on a yellow bottle" the underpaid worker mutters, unenthused. The girl (why can't Ricky remember her name?) begins tossing rings, and at the final one, lands it on a yellow bottle. The worker silently takes down the doll, the only doll like it, and hands it to the girl in exchange for the bucket.

"Ricky, you're really imaginative! And super smart. What should I name my dolly? Everything I'm thinking of feels wrong." She asks, as they start making their way towards the Graviton.

The doll looks nearly exactly like her. And a name quickly comes to Ricky's mind. -Savannah-

"That's perfect! Thank you, thank you, thank you Ricky!" the girl jumps in excitement, before enveloping Ricky in a hug. The first one he's had since Mischa's last year. She releases not nearly as quick as Mischa did, and stays there a while. But she does release her warm hug eventually, and cautiously sets the porcelain headed doll in her bag. The duo continues to make their way towards the Graviton, and as they arrive, the workers quickly allow them both to bypass the line due to his crutches. As they get escorted to the front, Ricky and the girl set down their things, which for Ricky, includes his crutches, after he's instructed to do so. Before they get on, he grabs his AAC one final time.

-help please?- and looks hopefully at the girl

"Of course!" She offers her shoulder, and a supportive arm around his waist. Her touch is like a furnace to Ricky, as she helps him up the stairs and into the spinning ride. "Is it okay if I hold your hand? I've never ridden this before, and it's kinda scary" she asks, extending a nearly begging hand. He takes it, grateful that someone wants to touch him, let alone asks for it. Most people in this town think that he'll crumble to dust if they breathe on him, so they avoid him at all costs. This girl (doesn't her name start with a P? It starts with a P, right? Right?) is an extremely welcome change.

After they get off, (the P-name girl didn't let go of his hand the entire ride. That shocked him) Ocean quickly finds them.

"You two, come on! Constance wants to ride the Cyclone!" She gets behind them and ushers them both forward towards the old wooden rollercoaster.

"Ocean, are you sure the Cyclone is safe to ride? It looks like it could derail at any moment. It's a safety hazard to have a loop on a wooden rollercoaster. The wood normally can't support the weight and force of the coaster." The girl says, concerned.

"nonsense. If you want to, you can sit out, if you're that worried." Ocean responds, as they find the rest of the choir, waiting by the fortune telling machine. The girl suddenly realizes something.

"I left my bag at the Graviton! I'll be right back, so don't wait up." She quickly runs away towards the place they just were, and Ricky realizes that she does in fact not have her bag on her. Ocean doesn't mention it, as they fully meet up with the rest of the choir.

"Guys, we have to follow Blackwood tradition! Let's get our fortune read, and then ride the Cyclone!" Constance exclaimed, sounding and looking very enthusiastic, while her smile doesn't meet her eyes. She looks hurt, and to be in pain, but seems to be hiding it well enough that no one else notices.

"Fine. And afterwards, we're going on the ferris wheel to do some Gruber tradition." Noel states, picking at his nails. As Constance inserts the coins, Ricky begins to worry about the new girl. He knows that it's quite a walk from here to the Graviton, but he doesn't want to ride alone.

"Be sure to ride the Cyclone!" The machine says, after saying a randomly selected "lucky number" and catchphrase. The choir shrugs, and gets in line. Much like at the Graviton, they get moved right to the front, due to Ricky's disability. As soon as they're about to get on, the girl sprints back, sets her bag down by a bench, and sneaks under the rope to jump to where the rest of them are.

"Sorry it took me so long, but I'll help you get onto the ride, if you'd like!" Ricky nods, as the coaster stops, and the group of kids gets off. The worker has a basket for the choir to set their stuff in, so Ricky sets in his crutches and his AAC, and the girl helps him into the cart. As the coaster starts, she is visibly scared, and begins muttering facts about lions and lionesses under her breath, low enough that Ricky can't hear full words. They speed towards the loop, and Ricky just keeps trying to remember her name as he's holding her hand.

'it's a P name, that's for sure, but what is it?'

"RICKY GET DOWN!" she screams, grabbing his shoulders, and roughly shoving his head towards his lap, as the world goes weightless.

The pressure of her hands on his shoulders stops being a pressure, and time travels in slow motion, as Ricky feels drops of warm liquid splattering his entire body, and the body corpse next to him goes completely limp. He looks up, her head is gone, completely. He turns around, and sees the brunette head smashing into the back of the cart, shattering into a bloody, brainy mess, and two brunette braids, that quickly get flung into the corn field around the farm, likely never to be seen again . He looks forward, and blinks as the ground meets his eyes. One final thought goes through his head 'Penny!' and the world goes dark as the cart hits the ground.

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