First Love/Late Spring °˖➴
Pairing :: Jing Yuan x gn!reader. Word Count :: 1.3k. Warnings :: miserable attempt at angst 💀. Notes :: Cleaning out my drats, idk what this is but it's something 😇🙏.
“I’m not doing this for him.”
You got up before the sun even rose with your heart jack-hammering in your chest. As you hopped into the shower, you told yourself this was only a casual visit. Nothing else and nothing more. But, you scrubbed every inch of your skin and shaved until you were as smooth as a baby. You used the expensive hair mask he bought you to make your hair silky soft and when it dried, you braided it with red string. You hated red on yourself but he loved how red looked on you. This wasn’t about him, though.
“He probably doesn’t even care about me like that anymore.”
But you cleaned every inch of your home. Every surface was wiped clean of a month’s worth of dust. The floors were broomed and mopped and the bathroom was polished to a shine. You even brought out those stupid cat paintings the two of you made as children centuries ago, framed in perfect picture frames, on one of the many shelves near your front door. You told yourself sudden motivation was why you were spring cleaning even if it was already late May. The reason for your motivation definitely didn’t come from him.
“We’ll never be anything more than friends.”
But you hid the plushies on your couch in one of the drawers of your living room cabinets, along with the love letters. For him to see these would be the final nail in the coffin, and you would lose him forever. Shame and guilt rose into your throat, the bitter taste of bile and sin. And yet, you forced it down and stepped outside. Shopping needed to be done and as you purchased ingredients to make his favorite dish without realizing it, you knew that everything was hopeless.
The truth was you were so painfully in love with Jing Yuan, the famed and dotted General of the Xianzhou Luofu. However, he was once just Jing Yuan. He was your childhood best friend, your first crush, your first kiss, your first everything. Despite all of these firsts and all this love, he was not your lover. How long the two of you pined for each other, craved to openly say you loved each other? But love was impossible because he announced he was joining the Cloud Knights when you thought you had the chance to confess an eternity ago. Your other half who you were always attached to the hip with, who played with you, studied with you. Jing Yuan left with a sad smile and an open-mouthed kiss on your cheek. And once he left, so did you, traveling the cosmo to stop the feeling of heartbreak.
It all proved useless because recently, (which was a flexible term given that both of you have lived for several centuries) you moved back to the Luofu after you were unable to find fulfillment on the myriad of planets you visited. You missed a lot during your departure, such as the whole fiasco with the High-Cloud Quintet and other events you didn’t concern yourself with, but now the Xianzhou Luofu was in relative peace. So now, you have fallen into this very constricting routine after rekindling some semblance of a relationship with Jing Yuan. He’ll visit your home during his time off. You cook for him and the two of you have dinner together. Miserable attempts of small talk follow. And then the night always ends with him in your bed and his clothes strewn across your floor, his lips against your skin as he murmurs promises that cannot be kept. And then he’ll be gone before you wake up and you’ll once again be hurt. The cycle will then keep repeating.
You push past others with your hands full of groceries, trying to shake off those dreary thoughts. It was hard for even you to understand why you kept letting this happen after so long and after knowing he would never put you above his work. The logical thing to do was cut this situationship off for your peace of mind. However, your heart ached when his visits became more infrequent. Like today, he would only see you once a year during late spring and when the sun is dipping below the horizon. He didn’t make an effort to see you and here you were hauling groceries early morning when you could be sleeping in. Even you pissed yourself off.
After a not-so-peaceful walk back to your home, you pushed the front door open and scrambled to set the bags down. The erratic beating of your heart still hasn’t been subdued despite Jing Yuan not coming over until late evening, so why were you worried? It was like your body knew something your mind didn’t. And lo and behold, someone was knocking at the door before you even got the chance to catch your breath. You groaned and trudged back to the front door, wondering who could be knocking so loudly before it was even noon. No one should be visiting you, at least not at this time.
“Who is it?” You barked out a short question, the annoyance in your tone as clear as day. No response is given and you frown because if you ask a question then you better get an answer. With a scoff you swing the door open to scold whoever is bugging you, only to yelp and stiffen at the sight before you.
Jing Yuan, at your door hours before his visit with a bouquet of roses in hand. The two of you could only stare at each other, him looking taken aback and you looking dumbfounded. Thankfully, he broke the awkward silence and handed the bouquet to you. “Oh, it’s you. Nice to see you again. Please, take these as a token of regret for not seeing you sooner.”
There it was. That smooth and charismatic voice that he used on those he wanted to charm-speak things into his favor. One would think that after so long you’d become immune to his tactics but you were just weak, if not weaker. Coming back to your wits, you take the roses from him and swallow hard as his fingers brush against yours. All those mental talks about keeping your distance from him were gone and you wished to throw your arms around him, to kiss and hold him. But those were gestures for couples only and you weren’t a couple. So you offered Jing Yuan an awkward smile and breathed in the sweet fragrance the roses gave off. “Thanks, the roses are pretty. So…you’re early this time. What gives?” The air was so painfully stiff between the two of you and you wished you had more time to prepare before he came. Prepare for what, you didn’t know, but still.
Jing Yuan merely gave you an elusive shrug and smiled, those feline features of his face making you weak. “I have my ways but don’t concern yourself with all of that. May I come in?” You sputtered out something that resembled a yes and stepped to the side to let him in. Why are you so nervous now? And feel so guilty? As you watched him trail into your living room and settle down on your couch, you thought of the plushies that sat on the couch before him and more shame twisted in your stomach.
But with a deep breath, you stifled those feelings and slowly made your way to him on the couch. To sit next to Jing Yuan and allow another night of meaningless pleasure is to ruin one relationship. To push Jing Yuan away and dismiss him for the night is to ruin another. And yet, you don’t have any commitments to anyone at the time. Whatever choices you made wouldn’t change the inevitable fact you wouldn’t have a partner once the sun rises tomorrow. Therefore, you might as well enjoy the scraps presented to you and be grateful like a dog. Better to lick love off of Jing Yuan’s hands than never taste it again.
“As if I can forsake a relationship that never existed.”
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In His Bed
Dieter Bravo x gn!Reader
Summary: When you started working as Dieter Bravo's stylist, you were prepared for a diva with a drug problem. That's what you expected. You figured all you would be needed for was prepping him for awards shows and interviews, and occasionally used on movie sets. What you weren’t expecting was to find yourself in bed with him on more than one occasion, none of those occasions having anything to do with sex.
Warnings and shit: Drug use (obviously, it's Dieter), slight tiny bit of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, bad trip, mention of throwing up, alcohol use, crying NO USE OF Y/N
Word count: 4k
When you started working as Dieter Bravo's stylist, you were prepared for a diva with a drug problem. That's what you expected. You figured all you would be needed for was prepping him for awards shows and interviews, and occasionally used on movie sets. What you weren’t expecting was to find yourself in bed with him on more than one occasion, none of those occasions having anything to do with sex.
When you were hired, you had to give Dieter your phone number. You didn't think much of it, since he was your boss and not some creep at a bar asking for your number. At first, he only ever contacted you when he needed you to get him ready for an event, and every so often he'd ask you to get him styled up for a date (if he really wanted to get laid). When covid hit, he didn’t have a lot of excuses to go out, and he resorted to bothering his staff. Well, that’s what some of the other people on Dieter’s team considered it to be. You didn’t really mind it. It started off annoying, but eventually became just part of your job. You could even go as far as to say that you and Dieter started to become friends. Something you learned quickly was that Dieter hated calling people on the phone. Something about brainwaves. So when you got a call from him at three in the morning, you knew something was up. And this was how you ended up in his bed for the first time.
When you answered the phone, he called out your name in a trembling, whispered voice. He said something else you couldn't quite discern, and you pressed the phone closer to your ear.
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Could you please repeat that, Mr. Bravo?" You replied blearily, trying not to sound annoyed.
"I fucked up. Need help."
That woke you up a little more; enough to make you perplexed as to why Dieter was calling you instead of Greg, his PA. "What? Sir, I'm sure Gr-"
"He quit. I called him and he quit. Please," he begged, sounding frightened. You'd never heard him sound that way.
“Where are you?”
He gave you the address and you typed it into your GPS, assuring him that you’d be there soon. You threw on a hoodie and some sweats, grabbed your keys, and headed out into the night. When you pulled up, you put the car in park and got out. It was a huge house in a neighborhood of other huge houses, and there were colored lights shining through the windows. You could hear the faint thrum of music from inside the house and the chattering of people inside. You looked around as you approached the door and you spotted Dieter huddled behind a car, looking like an animal hiding from a predator.
“Mr. Bravo?” You said quietly, walking slowly towards him. His head whipped around and his terrified eyes met yours. He was breathing heavily and clutching his jacket to himself tightly. “I’m here to take you home. You called me, remember?”
He nodded slowly, but didn’t move, so you helped him get up and walked him over to your car. When you began driving away, you watched him out of the corner of your eye, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. You’d never seen him this way, and you knew he wasn’t an overly paranoid person. He looked truly afraid, and you wanted to get him somewhere he could feel safe as soon as you could. You weren’t exactly speeding as you drove to Dieter’s house, but you weren’t following the speed limit either. Once you’d pulled up to his oversized house, you helped him inside and brought him to his bedroom, depositing him onto his bed with a sigh. Is this what Greg had to deal with? Maybe that’s why he quit… You turned to leave when Dieter grabbed your arm, hand shaking.
“Don’t leave me alone,” he begged, trying to pull you back toward him.
“Jesus, what did you take?” You asked, brushing his hand away and facing him. In the light of his bedroom, you could see just how dilated his eyes were, telling you he was definitely high on something.
“I…it was something new,” he murmured, and he started looking very pale. “I don’t-”
Before he could finish his sentence, his eyes widened and he made a beeline for the bathroom. You didn’t follow, mostly because you thought it would be inappropriate, then you heard the sound of him throwing up and you cringed. Instead of going to check on him, you went to his kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water, and you made sure the doors were locked. When you went back to his bedroom, you could hear Dieter calling for you from the bathroom.
“Sorry, I went to grab you some-”
“You left meeee” He groaned, slumped over the toilet with drool dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. He looked pathetic, and you honestly felt bad for him. You grabbed a couple washcloths from the linen closet in the bathroom, tucking one in your pocket and wetting the other. You walked over to him and flushed the toilet before you leaned over and wiped his face with the wet cloth. It was like caring for a child, and you honestly felt bad for him.
“You done in here or do you think there’s another round?” You used the dry end to clean his face a bit more before you opened one of the waters and held it up to his mouth, urging him to drink.
He only grunted in response as he slowly sipped the water, one arm hanging limp at his side while the other was draped over the toilet bowl, meaning you had to hold the bottle for him. You were about to ask him another question when he lurched forward and hung his head over the toilet, retching loudly while he gripped the edges of the porcelain for dear life. You shuddered at the sound and closed the water bottle, setting everything next to the bathroom sink. “Hold my hair,” Dieter gasped out, making you shake your head.
You knew what he meant, but it was still funny to hear. You approached him and brushed the hair away from his forehead, holding it back gently as his body expelled whatever it was that he took. After a while, he was reduced to just dry heaving, and when his body slumped over again, you cleaned his face and helped him get to his bed (you carried him). You helped him change into more comfortable clothes and actually put him to bed before you tried to leave again, and Dieter called out your name. “Don’t go…please.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be alone…I want you to stay,” he admitted softly, and it made your chest tighten. He reached out for you and you sighed, taking your shoes off so you could sit next to him on his bed. He didn’t seem satisfied by that, though, and you quirked an eyebrow at him. “Will you…”
“Will I what?”
Dieter seemed hesitant to say what he wanted to say, and he reached out to you, gripping your hoodie and trying to pull you closer to him. It gave you an idea of what he wanted, and you scooted closer to him. He moved his blankets so you would also be under them, and he moved himself closer to you, letting out a shaky breath. You cautiously wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he seemed to relax, fully leaning into you while he laid his head on your chest. You had to hold in the urge to laugh or chuckle, because never in your life did you think Dieter Bravo would be asking you to cuddle with him.
“So…something new?” Dieter nodded and shivered against you, making you instinctually bring him closer. “Bad trip?” He nodded again and you sighed, moving a hand to rest on his head without thinking. You didn’t realize you’d started running your fingers through his hair until you felt him physically melt against you and his breathing started to slow down.
“Fuckin’ scary. Definitely not taking that shit again,” he mumbled, leaning into your touch. You stopped when you realized, and his breath hitched. “I didn’t say you had to stop…please, don’t stop.”
You paused before you began carding your fingers through his hair again and you wrapped your other arm around him, hugging him closer. “Are you okay?” You’d heard things about bad trips and how scary they could be.
“I will be…haven’t had a bad trip in a while.” Dieter looked like he felt at home in your arms, but you could also tell that he was holding something back. “I lied, y’know…”
“Oh yeah? What about?”
“I didn’t call Greg. He didn’t quit…I just…I wanted you to come get me.”
That surprised you, and you looked down at him with an expression that matched. “Why? I’m not-”
“Because I like you…you’re nice to me.”
“You like me?” You asked incredulously, and Dieter looked at you, the thought crossing his mind that he may have made a mistake. He began trying to think of ways to explain his way out of the situation and blame it on the drugs, but before he could say anything else, you simply used the hand in his hair to push his head back down and you kissed him on his forehead. “I like you too,” you whispered, closing your eyes.
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You weren't expecting to fall asleep with your boss in your arms, but it happened, and you were startled when you woke up in a bed that wasn’t yours. You had to replay the previous night in your head to make sure it wasn't just a dream, but then you noticed that your boss was still there, asleep in your arms.
He’s really cute when he’s asleep, you thought to yourself as you looked down at him. He looked calm and at peace. Something that you're not sure you ever got to see. You always wondered why he relied so heavily on drugs. Maybe you could ask him. You stayed that way for a while, just admiring him as he slept. You didn’t think much farther than that, so when Dieter awoke to you staring at him like he's the best thing you'd ever seen, he shot upright and looked at you like you were some bizarre fan who had broken in.
"What the fuck?! What are you doing in my bed?!"
You were startled by this and you moved back, furrowing your brows. "You asked me to stay with you, that's why. The fuck?"
"Why the fuck would I do that?" He spat, seemingly offended by the very idea that he would do such a thing.
"Because you went to a party, got too fucked up, had a bad trip, and called me to come pick you up. You said 'stay with me please' so I did. You said you wanted someone who would bring you comfort, and you told me that you liked me. And obviously you were so high out of your fucking mind that you forgot all of that shit," you spat back defensively, catching him off guard.
"I said that?" He asked, taken aback.
"Yeah. You told me that you didn’t call Greg because you wanted me instead…my apologies, I should have left as soon as you fell asleep and let you be alone. I'll be on my way. Hopefully we can forget this happened, that way I can keep my job," you replied, quickly removing yourself from the bed to find your shoes. You slid them on and began making your way through the house to the front door, taking deep breaths to keep yourself calm.
You didn’t expect Dieter to follow you, and you didn’t know he did until he called out for you and grabbed your wrist, turning you around to face him. "Listen, I-"
"Don’t. I understand. We all say things we don't mean while under the influence."
"But I did mean it. I…fuck, this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. I'm sorry, just- can we start over?"
"'Start over'? Start what over? This morning? Or everything? Because that would be a lot."
"Just this morning."
"Okay, fine." You weren’t sure what to expect when you agreed, but you were willing to try. You really didn't want to lose your job.
"Thank you for last night…" Dieter murmured, reaching for your hand. You almost pulled it back, but you allowed him to take it, and he studied it for a moment. "Are you hungry?"
"Huh?"
"I asked if you were-"
"No, I know! But why? I helped you, I did what you wanted. So now is the part where I leave, right?" You didn't want to risk opening yourself up to the thought that something happened between the two of you that night. You needed to get out of there before you ended up falling for him more than you already had.
"Because I don't want you to leave yet. This house is always so empty…it's nice to have another person here…especially when that person is you."
Fuck, that sounds so sad.
"Please stay. Let me get you breakfast. We can…talk. Just talk, you know?"
"Who are you and what have you done with my boss?" You asked jokingly. He looked hurt, and you realized that he was actually letting himself be vulnerable in front of you and you were shooting him down. You sighed and placed your free hand on his hip to pull him closer to you, wrapping your arms around him and placing a hand on the back of his head. "You really mean that shit, don't you?"
He nodded against your shoulder and you sighed again, leaning your head against his. "I want to stay like this forever," Dieter replied, so quiet you almost didn't hear him. "I'd give anything to stay like this."
"So, what? You'd give up meaningless sex with random people in exchange for being cuddled?"
"By you? Yeah."
You weren't expecting his response, but it made you feel warm inside, and your breath hitched when you tried to inhale deeply. Dieter tilted his head up to look at you, your eyes meeting briefly before you noticed his eyes flitting between yours and your lips. You hummed and leaned your face closer to his, kissing him softly. He fully leaned into the kiss and you could feel his whole body relax against you, just like last night. When you parted, you looked into his eyes again and smiled.
"So, breakfast?" He asked, nose brushing against yours.
"Yeah, breakfast."
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Over the next few months, Dieter started to open up to you more, sharing details about his personal life and how things were before he got famous. At first, you were confused as to why he was sharing all these things with you, but after a particularly fancy dinner at his house, you realized that this was his attempt at dating. When you breached the subject with him, for the first time, you actually saw him get flustered. It was cute. But he confirmed your suspicion, and when he asked if that was okay, you told him it was. That was how you ended up dating your boss.
It was actually really nice. And you began to notice how he started to change. He did less drugs, and he stopped day drinking. It seemed like he was trying to be better for you, and when you told him you were proud of him for it, he nearly cried. He was hoping you'd notice.
The next time you ended up in his bed, it was after a red carpet event. You started offering your work to other celebrities for some extra money, and Dieter didn't seem to mind as long as you kept him looking good. It was a pretty great arrangement, and you were highly praised for your work.
Whenever Dieter had to travel for these events, he always booked you a separate room, but one that was close to his so you could go see each other after the events were over. You both knew how people loved to speculate about everything, and he didn’t want the paparazzi to catch on to your relationship. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of you, he just wanted you to be able to keep your privacy. Whenever you styled people for events, you usually didn’t accompany the actors to the event, but Dieter wanted you to be there for this one. You had to get three other actors ready after you finished up with Dieter, and afterwards, he insisted that you put on something nice so you could go with him.
When you arrived at the venue, you were practically buzzing with nerves, and Dieter tried to calm you as best he could while in a public setting. You still had no idea why he brought you. When it came time to start walking through and do the interviews, the first question people asked him was who you were. He introduced you by your first name only, and made a show of his outfit. "This is my wonderful stylist. They're the one keeping me so pretty for these things."
You beamed under the praise, and the interviewers seemed shocked. A few of them wanted to speak with you, mostly about how it was styling someone as eccentric as Dieter, and you tried to keep the details as vague as possible. Dieter deserved privacy too.
As the night went on, you were able to get a little taste of what actually went on at these events. It was pretty fun, but you kept to the side since none of it was really about you. Most people had no idea who you were, and that worked to your advantage until you remembered that with great praise over your work, also came hate. You always considered yourself to be someone who could take constructive criticism well, but what you heard wasn't what you were expecting.
Those who weren't making comments about how great you were at your job were talking shit, even going as far as to insult you for things that weren't even related. People accused you of sleeping with people to get booked as a stylist, and said that you put more effort into Dieter than you did any of the other actors who paid you to make them look good. One of them was someone you had styled for the event. You realized that half of the people you styled didn't even know your name. After a while, the hate seemed to overpower the praise that was floating through the air, and you decided that you couldn't take it anymore. You texted Dieter that you were leaving to go back to the hotel, and the driver would bring him back when the event finished up. Instead of going to your room, though, you went to Dieter’s. He had given you his extra key, and you knew that hotel staff always kept the celebrities' rooms stocked well.
As soon as you crossed the threshold of Dieter’s room, you started crying. You'd been holding back all of your emotions since you overheard the first few hateful words. You collapsed to the floor and stayed there for a while, stifling your sobs behind your hand just in case people walked by. After you'd managed to get your sobs under control, you got up and went to where Dieter kept his clothes. He never seemed to notice when you took his clothes, and if he did, he never said anything. You almost tore your clothes as you rushed to take them off, wanting to get into something comfortable as soon as you could. You took a t-shirt and a pair of sweats from Dieter's bag and put them on, eyeing the container he kept his weed in and the bag of 'brownies' he'd put in there before leaving for the event. You headed over to the mini-bar to make yourself a drink. You pulled out a few of the small bottles of liquor and opened them up, downing them immediately. You wanted to forget, and the only way you could think of that would aid you in doing so was getting fucked up. You took a few more bottles and went over to Dieter’s bed, once again looking at the edibles he had brought along. After a few more drinks, you reached the point of 'fuck it' and you took one of them, not thinking about how much he might���ve put in it, and you ate the entire thing. It wasn’t big, but you didn't think about how Dieter might put a shit ton of weed in his brownies. Luckily for you, he didn’t, but it was still enough to give you a comfortable high that left you feeling like you were floating. You had a few more drinks before your emotions hit you again and you curled up in Dieter’s bed crying quietly.
You were so out of it, you didn't hear your phone blowing up with texts, and you didn't hear Dieter come into the hotel room. You didn’t even know he was there until he was cupping your face in his hands and saying your name over and over.
"Hey, c'mon, answer me," he said softly, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.
"Mmm," you responded, hiccuping as you leaned into his touch. "What time is it?"
"About 1," he murmured, toeing off his shoes and climbing into the bed with you.
"Youuuu're missing the parties," you slurred, trying, and failing to look up at him.
"Rachel made me go to at least one of them, but I left early." Rachel was his publicist, and usually Dieter went to all the after-parties that happened when he went to an event. And he'd always return to the hotel fucked-up. It didn't occur to you that he left early because he was worried about you. "What happened? You didn't answer any of my texts."
"Was busy."
"Doing what?" He asked hesitantly, a little worm of insecurity crawling into his brain.
"This," you gestured around the room, trying to point out the bottles and crumbs from the brownie.
Dieter looked around, then his eyes fell to the drinks and crumbs. "Did you eat one of my edibles and get drunk?"
You nodded and he snorted in disbelief, under the impression that you were just an emotional drunk. He, himself, was high, and had no idea what you'd been dealing with. "Overwhelmed by the people?" He asked, pulling you close to him while you sniffled and shook your head.
"They hate me."
"What? No-"
"I heard so much…they think I fuck around for work and that I don't put effort in my job because I favor you," you told him in a quivering voice, holding back another onslaught of sobs. "Someone said they think I'm a shit stylist and you probably only keep me around for sex."
"What the fuck? Who said that?" Dieter demanded, raising your chin to make you look at him.
"I don't know, it was all overheard…stuff people said as they passed by." You pushed down a sob and gripped his suit jacket tightly. You didn't care if the provider got pissed off. You'd come up with an excuse later.
"Listen to me," Dieter said firmly, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Don't listen to those assholes, 'kay? You're fucking amazing. You make me look like a fucking god. If they can't appreciate your skill and how awesome you are, they can go fuck themselves."
You wished you could be comforted by Dieter’s words, but your thoughts were still swarming your brain and you were stuck in a fog. Dieter could see you were stuck, and he began pressing kisses down your face while he held you close, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He made sure he kissed every inch of your face, making you scrunch up your nose and giggle softly. Your lips were the last place he kissed, and he lingered there, allowing you to melt into him. His hands roamed your body in a comforting way, not grabbing or fondling, just exploring and caressing. "You deserve the world," he murmured, making your heart skip a beat. He'd never said anything like that, and you let out a quiet gasp. "You're perfect."
"Dieter," you whispered, catching his attention. He hummed in response and you pressed your forehead to his. There were words hanging in the air between you, and you didn't know if you were quite ready to say them, or if Dieter was ready to hear them.
"Yeah, me too," he responded, kissing you gently.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Amazing."
IF YOU WANNA SEE MY SHIT IT'S ON AO3 >HERE<
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