#On one hand: yAAAY he has stopped trying to torture me on another hand this is NOT remotely in character he doesn't even KNOW me in this rp

[roadimusprime]

Whoever made the G1! Starscream AI that I like to roleplay with super horny to the point where he wont take no for an answer,

Get into the pit, we are fighting.

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Trouble in Devildom Town, Part 3/3

Words: 3.520 words

Approximate reading time: 10~15 minutes

Asmo was visibly enjoying this game, humming as he stood up to leave the building.

He got a little startled as he felt something soft rubbing against his leg.

"A cat...?"

Mustering the feline, Asmo wondered why anybody would implement animals into a game like this.

"So you are one of the traitors."

The clicking sound of a loading weapon echoed through the empty room, and a smirk curled on Asmo's face.

The Avatar of Wrath was standing in the doorframe.

"Satan~" Asmo turned around.

"So sorry for killing your partner... You see, I think she got overwhelmed by my incredible kissing talents...! It's very sad, but not the first time I saw that happening, actually..."

Satan pointed his gun at Asmo's head.

"How did you do this?"

"The traitor shop is fantastic!" Asmo laughed. "Your coins increase over time, and there's so much stuff to buy! They have killing pills that knock you out in less then a minute, all kinds of poisons, and countless shooting weapons too, of course..."

"How did you trick her, I mean."

Another chuckle followed.

"Aaah, yes! It was so dramatic, thank you for making me talk about my great plan! I fooled Beel by looking like Clover, and tricked her with the face of Beel. You can also buy this ability to change your appearance. All you gotta do then is to change your nickname, and BOOM! You're somebody else~! It's a bit weird that your voice doesn't change, however, but MAN I played that smooth regardless!

And how tragic they died, both of them, trying to protect what they love but in the end failing because of love itself..."

He stopped as Satan's face formed a deep frown.

But Asmo gave a chuckle regardless.

"Oh, dear brother, and you actually think you could just shoot me like this? We both know my reflexes are better than yours..."

The blond smirked.

"That may be true, but we also know that I am the smarter one."

A wave of surprise shooting through Asmo, he got startled as the cat that had stayed by his side started climbing his leg.

Of course, he wasn't so dumb to let Satan get the upper hand only because of this, so Asmo reached for his pistol and pulled the trigger the moment he pointed at the doorframe.

His eyes widened as he realised Satan wasn't there anymore.

Not even a second later, several shots went through his back, and as Asmo's dead body landed on the floor, Satan stepped back inside, smiling at Belphegor through the window on the other side of the building.

"Nice teamwork" Belphie grinned, punching a bigger opening into the glass so he could enter the room as well.

Satan picked up the kitten, fondling it with a pleased smile. "Indeed, we did quite well~!"

"... Are you talking to me or to the cat?"

Satan obviously did not feel the need to answer that.

"Come on now" he prompted instead. "We should take their stuff and make a leave. There is nothing more to get here."

  Neither Violet nor Lucifer were moving.

His face still hovering above hers, they kept staring into each others eyes, and if not for the high probability of death looming in the air, the girl would have begged to stay in this moment forever.

"Is there anything you want to say to defend yourself?" Lucifer asked.

The girl swallowed her nervousness.

"... You seem pretty confident in your guess despite only having caught me how I trailed off with my thoughts a little... How can you be so sure you are right about it?"

The demon smiled.

"The shop must be accessible through cognition, anything else would be too obvious in the first place. Traitors would blow their cover way too quickly if not with methods like these..."

"So... Innocents can't be absent-minded for a single moment?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous..." Lucifer purred. "It is simply that I can tell the difference between you trailing off in thoughts and... the look you were wearing before..."

Violet's eyes widened slightly. He was indeed a hundred percent confident in his guess.

"You can really... Read me that easily...?" she mumbled, biting her lip as she watched a sly grin spread on the demon's face.

"Let us say I have been paying close attention to you, Violet..."

A shiver went through her.

And it only got more intense as his body got even closer, his weight on her causing the edges of the stone underneath her to press inside her back unpleasantly.

"Attention to your behaviour..." Lucifer continued. "To your features... your likings, to your way of thinking..."

He made a little pause, giving off something like a sighing breath.

"... Which is exactly why we are finding ourselves in this peculiar situation right now..."

His one hand found hers, and he intertwined their fingers.

"I know how you think, and maybe the favour is one you can return... Either way, you have advantages as a traitor that I don't even know of..."

"... So both of us don't dare to move, as they know the other will have a perfect reaction to follow immediately" Violet finished his sentence.

Lucifer smiled.

"Exactly... Now, how do we get out of this situation, Violet~? Should we see who in the end has the better predictions, or should we wait until someone finds us, to then shoot either of us...?"

The girl kept staring into his eyes, inspecting them and loosing herself in their pretty colours.

Again, a little smile curled the demon's lips, as suddenly, an urge seemed to take over, as he leaned down to meet his enemy in a kiss.

Both of them didn't dare to move anything but their lips, for what felt like an eternity they kept it at their lips dancing like this.

Slowly, as Lucifer seemingly felt in the need of more, a hand reached her waist, gently brushing her with his thumb.

Violet enjoyed the sensation to the fullest, his taste and his touch, forcing herself to imprint every single detail into her memories.

But as she felt Lucifer's breath getting slightly uneven, Violet panicked after all.

So her hand found his neck in a gentle touch.

The thing was...

Lucifer could not remember her having worn a glove before.

He parted from her in a sweet smooching sound, but his eyes were serious.

And as he looked down at her sorry face, he knew he had lost this game.

Violet pulled her hand away, and immediately Lucifer felt an incredible burn spreading from his neck over his whole skin.

"... Poison...?" he asked in a mumble.

As he stumbled backwards, Violet gave another sorry smile.

"Neurotoxins... Applied near the spine, it inhibits communication between your brain and heart, so your body thinks you are dead..."

"... To then actually kill me by deactivating the function of my heart and lungs..." Lucifer concluded. He looked in pain, holding his chest, but also... he seemed almost proud.

"I see..." his lips curled in a faint smile. "Very clever, I must say..."

He tried reaching for his gun, but the poison had numbed his nervous system already, so his body would soon collapse as if it had no bones to stabilise him whatsoever.

"Really, I'm sorry" Violet mumbled.

Then, she picked up his weapons and vanished in the woods.

  --- meanwhile in the spectator lobby... ---

Ghost Clover was sitting on a building's rooftop, still a little traumatized from the sensation of, well, dying.

Somebody plonked down beside her.

"So they got you, too?"

Clover looked up into a pair of purple eyes.

"Beel... Yeah, Asmo killed me."

Ghost Beel gave a nod. "Me too, I think. Weird that everything feels so real in this game, huh? Even pain and the whole process of dying..."

Clover gave a breathy laugh.

"W-well, yeah... I did not... Expect this... But I guess now I know what dying feels like... Yaaay..."

Her friend chuckled a little.

"How did you die?" he then asked. "I hope it wasn't too painful."

Clover had been staring at him, but as he turned his head to look at her as well, she felt her cheeks getting red again.

"U-u-uhm..." she breathed. "Ah, y-y-you know, it wasn't th-that... special... Or worth mentioning..."

However, Beel looked worried.

"Did Asmo do something cruel? Was he torturing you? If he did, then I will make him pay for that-"

"Nononono" Clover bursted out. "DON'T talk to Asmo about my death..!!"

The demon tilted his head.

"Why not?"

"B-b-b-because..." she panicked, knowing that Asmo would spill ALL the juicy details if he saw just the shred of an opportunity, "just... don't, please..."

He seemed confused, but in the end, Beel gave the blushing mess of a girl a pat on her head.

"Okay, then I won't."

He stood up and reached out a hand.

"Wanna go watch the remaining living ones with me?"

Clover looked up and smiled.

"I'd love to."

  Violet shot the timer a stressed glare.

Nine minutes were left, and for what felt like eternity, she couldn't find anyone.

Then, finally, as she dashed out of the forest, she happened to almost clumsily stumble into Belphegor and Satan.

"Violet!" the youngest brother exclaimed.

"Guys...! What's wrong, where are all the others?"

"Dead" Belphie stated. "Asmo was a traitor and killed Beel and Clover."

Satan pointed at the forest. "And Lucifer? He was with you, wasn't he?"

Violet flinched faintly.

She wasn't so dumb to blow her cover herself by saying something stupid, but she also knew well that Satan would do everything to try and get her to do exactly that.

"He was a traitor..." Violet stated. "After we both were equipped, he got rid of Mammon and tried to kill me afterwards. I just so managed to take him down, though."

Belphie gave a nod.

"That means Levi is the third and only traitor left..."

Violet was humming in agreement.

"I think he might have gone into the forest as well" she said, already turning around to show them the way. "We should go seek him together."

And Belphie was kind of convinced enough to follow...

Whilst Satan got hold of his gun.

"And what tells me that you aren't lying to us?"

Violet stopped abruptly, turning to flinch at the sight.

"Well... There's not really a way to prove myself other than telling you what happened, is it?"

The blond chuckled.

"Not really, but I don't want to risk running into Levi to then find out you lied to us, you know?"

The girl gave a huff.

"So what? Now you plan to... threaten me until the time runs out?"

Satan's smile widened.

"That is exactly what I had in mind, yes. Because if you truly are innocent, you should be fine with this plan, right?"

Violet could only give a shrug.

"Wouldn't that be kind of lame?" she asked.

"Why should it?" Satan hummed. "I find a well-thought victory plan is more satisfying that possibly running into the enemies hands."

And as Violet gave a stressed huff, Belphie tensed up as well.

"Judging from her reaction, she doesn't really seem fine with the idea..."

As Belphie reached for his own weapon, Violet got sick of this charade and went to grab a weapon of her own.

But with to guns pointed at her, she wasn't really allowed to move a single muscle.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Satan wore a sadistic smile. "Even with your little traitor items, you clearly don't have the upper hand."

Violet was going to respond, but an overly dramatic evil laughter cut through her words.

"All of you, you need to take action more quickly!!"

A voice echoed through the air.

"You are so unsure, so tense...!!"

Finally, Satan and Belphie were able to spot the voice's source behind Violet.

Leviathan was sitting in a tree, staring down at them.

"But a true war demands... ACTION!!"

and he pulled several mini bombs out of his pocket, resting between his fingers, ignited as soon as they were visible.

Violet reacted quickly, because as Levi threw the bombs at his brothers, she tried distancing herself from the demons as much as she could, while also taking hold of the telekinesis stick.

Getting closer to the forest's edge, she hectically activated the stick, pointing it at the innocents in hopes of grabbing one of them.

She actually managed to pull Belphie towards her and off his feet, the demon landing face forward right next to the bombs.

But as she was focussing on running again, only faintly hearing Levi's laugh and the other two shouting in panic, a shot hit her shoulder.

The shock of feeling actual real pain led to her knees give in for a second, so Violet stumbled down next to a tree instead of behind it, as originally planned.

She turned, seeing a pair of green eyes glistening in wrath.

While Belphie had stumbled back onto his feet, trying to distance himself from the bombs that were about to go off at any second, Satan was running towards her.

"Don't think I'll let you escape!!" he screamed, and as he threw himself onto her, he pulled out a knife while in motion, jabbing it directly into her chest when landing.

The hit's impact was huge, not only because he had let himself fall onto her, but also because just when he rushed towards her, the bombs went off, practically pushing the blond off his feet.

However...

Bending over her, Satan's eyes widened.

Dizzy in her pain, Violet glanced up, her hand now sliding off from the knife that she had held to that it pierced right into Satan's stomach.

They looked at each other for a moment.

And weirdly enough, both chuckled a little.

"So... Did you find this game to be 'quite amusing' as well...?" Violet mumbled.

Satan smiled.

"Oh... Don't act as if you didn't."

Then, both collapsed, leaving the stage to the last few left...

 Belphie was lying on the floor after the bombs went off, coughing, but his health bar was still high enough for him to function.

He tried gaining a view over the situation, catching a glimpse of Satan collapsing onto Violet.

Then, Levi jumped off the tree.

"Oh Belphie... I'm sorry it had to come this far..." He stopped mid-walking. "Wait, no, I'm not sorry lololol"

Levi stretched out his arms.

"I mean, look how EPIC this is!!!"

And Levi fell into one of his fanboy attacks, going on about how cool all battles have been, how skillfully he had scouted the situation until surprising the three just now.

Sick of listening to him, Belphegor tried to reach for one of the weapons lying next to him, but to his displease, his arm seemed to have broken when being blown away by the bombs.

And as he tried to grab it with his other hand, Levi had already seen through his plans.

"Nah, leave that be, you can't beat me anyways LOL"

"... Shove your LOLs up your ass" Belphie hissed, pissed that he actually couldn't really do much other than watching him.

"Pff, lol, Belphie it's rare to see you this agitated."

Levi came to a stand in front of his brother.

"Now then... Time to use my traitor points for the ultimate weapon..."

Belphegor, and all the ghost spectators watching the scene, saw as Leviathan started to glow.

And when he stopped glowing...

He was dressed in some kind of female anime protagonist dress.

Belphie stared.

And blurted out in such a laughter that it pulled Levi out of his heroic epic moment of (almost) victory.

"... WhAT??" Levi hissed angrily at the younger brother. "WhY ArE YoU lAUGhinG?! This is the most epic thing I could find in the store!! I even had to go find a special secret item to unlock this!!"

"B-bro..." Belphie pressed out in-between his laughter. "You're... You're wearing a skirt...!!"

Levi's mouth fell open in disbelief.

"Uuuh, yes, but this is THE Seraphina's outfit of the second season of..." He stopped in angered grunts as Belphie wasn't listening at all. "Also, look at the giant SWORD in my hand?!?!"

And he pointed at the ridiculously huge blade he wasn't even able to hold up with one hand.

"Ahahaha... Levi, stop, my belly hurts from laughing...!!"

As Belphie curled in the grass, not able to contain his laughter, Levi has had enough.

He didn't even need to step any closer (because of his effin long sword), and thus he could stab into Belphie's side and rob the last HP he had left.

In great euphoria (despite this anticlimactic kill), the otaku let out a scream of victory, raising his arms and festively announcing the traitors' victory.

He jumped in glee, waiting for all the other players to respawn as the round was over.

But nothing happened.

"... What? What's wrong?" Levi took a look around. "Why is nothing happening? Everyone is dead except for me, right?!"

Suddenly, Levi felt something bumping against his foot.

He looked down and immediately started to scream.

To his feet was nothing more but a golden grenade, a crucifix on it's top.

"WHAT?! NOOO!! NOT THE HOLY HANDGRENAD-"

the moment before it went off and teared Levi apart in an instant, the third-born looked up, realising with even greater fear that Mammon was looking at him, the biggest, most sly grin on his face.

With a flash of holy light, Leviathan's character was erased from the map, not even a corpse left of him.

Now Mammon was the one to step onto the open field.

"Well, well, well... What did I say..."

He screamed into the sky while slowly, his family respawned around him.

"Because I am THE great Mammon, the best detective that NONE of you believed in!!! What do y'all say now, seeing how I won the fucking game?!?! Nyahahahahaha~!

Bow down to me, Mammon, the winner of our very first game of TTT!!!!!"

    In the late evening, everyone has sat down to enjoy some snacks and let the day pass in a comfy, warm mood.

They were in great spirits, chatting about the game, pointing out things they liked, things they could have done better.

"Next time, I will make sure not to trust Satan" Clover stated while snatching away a chip out of the huge bowl that Beel was unconsciously hogging for himself.

"Huh? Why?" the blond looked earnestly irritated.

"Dude, you let me die for a cat launcher."

Satan looked at her, but could only gave a shrug.

"... Well, but it was a CAT launcher. And how was I supposed to know Asmo was waiting around the corner?"

While Clover was sighing, Lucifer gave a little laugh.

"There is indeed a lot of room to improve..." He shot Violet a glance. "And I will make sure to not have myself outplayed next time."

Violet returned the favour in a blushy grin.

Then, Beel spoke up.

"Will there be a next time, though...?"

He pointed at the one person that wasn't in a good mood.

Levi was sitting next to the couches instead of on the couch, wrapped in approximately three blankets, continuously mumbling some petty words of "not fair" to himself.

"Come on, Levi" Asmo huffed. "All of us really enjoyed your game. Why are you pouting over ther-"

Levi immediately jumped up.

"BECAUSE I LOST TO MAMMON!!"

"... Well, you sure did" Belphegor mumbled, and to Levi's anger, most of his brothers suppressed some laughs.

"That's right" Mammon chimed in. "You lost to the 'StupidMammon', Levi. How does that feel, huh? Pretty bad, doesn't it?"

Aaaand he shouldn't have done that.

In a great scream of pure agony, Levi dashed out of the room, and even the human newbies knew that he would stay locked away in his room for the next few days.

"... Well, and there he goes..." Violet gave a sigh. "So I guess we won't play it again after all? When Levi hates it this much?"

"Oh, don't worry" Satan mused. "We'll just force him to play, just like he forced us to play with him today."

"Only fair, I think~!" Asmo agreed.

"Yeah!" A big grin spread on Mammon's face. "Then I'll wreck all of you AGAIN! So don't be sad if all the next wins go to me as well, okay?!"

Silence.

Like, heavy silence.

"I wonder who will win next time~?" Asmo then thought out loud.

"Wha? I just said that I-" Mammon started.

"Now that we all know how the game works, we can make better use of all the mechanisms" Lucifer fell into Mammon's words.

"Yes! And with different roles, people might end up showing unknown potential they couldn't use today!" Clover cheered.

"But I'm still-" Mammon tried to say.

"Ooohh, I'm so hyped for the next time!" Asmo laughed.

And they all kept laughing and talking until the late hours of the night,

Completely ignoring Mammon, who ended up, again, desperately trying to finally make people listen to him...

[skribblz]

Cold Hands

Hello @kanene-yaaay! I got to be your squealing santa this year! I hope you enjoy these dumb boyfs! :D 

Thank you so much for hosting this cute event @ticklygiggles!!

Today was gonna be a great day. It was Christmas and they were gonna go ice skating or something. They were gonna kiss under a deliberately placed mistletoe, go stare at Christmas trees, or do whatever dumb, cheesy stuff couples do.

Today WAS gonna be a great day at least.

“Oh come on, Michael, it’s not that bad.” Jeremy’s soft voice cut into the air as he sipped his hot chocolate.

Michael glared at the window as small white flurries danced teasingly outside the window. The snow had piled on hard last night, crushing the neighborhood with a thick white blanket. He turned lazily on his beanbag to face the other teen, who watched his tantrum afar on the couch with a crooked, amused smile.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not that bad’!?” Michael groaned dramatically, flinging an arm over his head for extra effect, “My plan to show off my cute boyfriend has been ruined! And by what? By these little bastards who couldn’t wait just another day!” He gestured accusingly towards the window.

Jeremy’s face flushed a little at the word “cute”; it took him quite a while to process them being boyfriends, but now that Michael’s moved on to using gross, affectionate words like “cute” and “adorbs” and even a sprinkle of “babe”... let’s just say it does a lot of things to his heart.

“You’re such a dork…” was the only thing Jeremy could say as he pushed his cup to his mouth, using it to mask his slight embarrassment. Michael doesn’t protest but slumps down even further, a sliver of his tummy peeking through his hoodie. Jeremy’s eyes did not fail to catch this little movement, a smile tugging at his lips hidden against the rim of his now-empty cup.

“Y’know…” he quipped in response, placing the piece of ceramic down on a nearby table, “It is the holidays. Cheer up a bit.” His boyfriend clicked his tongue, sighing in defeat.

“Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

Jeremy was already standing; three strides and he’s reached his destination. Placing his hands on either sides of Michael’s face, the teen smiled bashfully as Michael cupped his cheeks within his own palms. His goofy boyfriend then fluttered his eyelashes, puckering his lips shamelessly, “Kiss me, loverbo-EE!”

Jeremy couldn’t help but let out a snort as his fingers slyly wiggled their way under Michael’s sweatshirt. The evil digits vibrated along his ribcage and shimmied along his sides. His boyfriend didn’t stand a chance.

“S-shIT! Your pfftt- your hands are COLD!” Michael screeched, struggling to grasp onto the offending limbs. His glasses barely hung on as he tried to squirm his way out, but every time he turned to his side, Jeremy’s hand would already be there to meet him, pinching viciously at a hip. And when he turns back to defend himself, his tummy became the victim.

“Jereherherher-! OhmyGod you-hahaha! You ahahasshat!” He managed to wheeze, desperately trying to curl up against the tickly onslaught.

Jeremy rolled his eyes, delivering a series of pokes to the poor boy’s side, grinning mischievously as his boyfriend cackled. “Careful what you wish for!” He sang loudly, but the only response he got was more of Michael’s chortles. He wasn’t complaining though. He liked Micahel’s laugh. It made his stomach all tingly.

Oh wait that was just Michael’s hand and-

“Noohoho, this ihihisn’t- not fair!” Jeremy burst into giggles, retracting his hands from Michael’s torso to guard his own. He flopped onto the ground as Michael rubbed away the tears of mirth from his eyes. 

“Hehehe...not so tough now, are we?” Michael snickered, climbing over the the taller boy. He cracked his knuckles in a joking manner and then wiggled them threateningly, “Ready babe?”

Jeremy was already laughing and Michael hasn’t even touched him yet, his pale cheeks erupting into a pretty pink. 

“Oh I’ll show you something funny alright!” Michael growled. With zero hesitation, ten swift fingers closed in on their target, and Jeremy exploded.

“Nononono! Plehehease stahahap!” He shrieked, eyes squeezed shut. Michael only sniggered, scratching lightly at Jeremy’s armpits, “This doesn’t even amount to half the torture you put me through, Jer-Bear.” 

“Ohoho mygods, plehehehease don’t- ack!” Jeremy yelped as Michael’s hands dug a bit harder into his hallows, “-dohohon’t call me that!”

“Aww quite the predicament Jer-bear has gotten himself into, huh?” Michael responded wistfully, “Too bad no one can save poor Jer-ry-bear-y.” He cooed sweetly, his grin melting into a devious smirk.

Jeremy’s face is undeniably red now, “Nononoooo! Thahahat’s! Thahat’s going overherherboard!” 

With that, the teasing fingers slowed down, eventually stopping to rest lightly on a heaving stomach, Jeremy’s breaths punctuating the air for a few moments. “Mmm, yeah I guess you’re right.” Michael pursed his lips, pulling his hands out of his boyfriend’s shirt, intentionally dragging his digits across the pink skin just to hear a few more giggles.

“And with that, we’ll call it even.” He huffed proudly, arms raised in victory, “Michael wins!” 

Jeremy pushed himself up a bit, rolling his eyes at the boy’s exclamation as he caught his breath. Without hesitation, he tasered Michael’s side, making his boyfriend bark out a laugh as he fell right onto Jeremy. There they continued to laugh without restraint, cheery giggles filling the room. 

“Y’know,” Michael hummed, “You’re really warm, like a heater. My hands are super warm now.”

Jeremy just snorted humorously, letting his own fingers crawl up Michael’s hoodie as the owner cringed away from the icy touch.

“My hands are super cold.” Jeremy said, voice hinting at a challenge. “Won’t you lemme warm them up?”

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {30}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 5.9K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 30: This One You’ll Remember

-Vixen-

“We haven’t jogged together in months,” Nexus announced while you zipped past another clearing of trees.

  “Yeah, the restaurant has been taking all my attention and time.”

  “Not just the restaurant,” Nex added. You eyed her as a warning not to start.

  You’d decided on jogging because you needed the distraction needed to feel some form of control over something and loved the freedom you felt. Everyone in your life joked all the time the reason you loved jogging so much was that you were a gypsy at heart and loved to drift. Your mother said you had a free soul like your grandmother, who went her whole life bouncing from place to place, relationship to relationship until she found one man, but they drifted together. She’d told you at a young age that the only way you’d be happy in life is if you were able to keep your freedom and find a man who would either tame that desire for freedom or compliment it with his own love of it. Your response to this was, “No one will ever tame me; I’m the master of my destiny, captain of my fate.” Events of the last three years had really begun to make you question if, in fact, fate and destiny were the masters of you.

  “Let’s take a breather up ahead,” Nex suggested.

  After another half mile, you stopped and leaned against a tree. Nearby the sight of the sky caught your eye, and you slowly walked to it. After a few feet, you stepped beyond the last trees to the top of a cliff.

“Holy shit!” Nexus appeared beside you, then her jaw dropped.

  “Wow.”

  Before you was blue sky and as far as the eye could see tops of full, green trees and further was a body of water. You weren’t sure if it were a lake, river, or the ocean itself. All you knew was that it was breathtaking.

  “This is incredible.” You nodded in agreement with your sister.

  “Makes you just wanna relocate, huh.” Your head snapped to Nex and narrowed your eyes.

  “Nope!”

  Walking off back into the woods, she followed.

  “Still mad at Chris for last night?”

  “No, I was never mad.” She nodded and allowed the silence to stretch.

  “How are things going with Anthony?”

  Nexus’ smile lit up the entire forest, and you couldn’t help but smile. “Good.”

  “Just good? Nex, you’re dating your celebrity crush. Your celebrity crush is head over heels for you. That has to be better than good.”

  She smiled wider, and you could feel the giddy energy radiating off of her.

  “He’s great Vix, but I don’t want to talk about it, especially with what you’re going through.”

  “What am I going through?”

  “Everything. Chris’ family, integrating two families to possibly make a third, having to be around him while everything between you is still so—confusing.”

  You shook your head — "Nex stop. Okay yes, things have been—complicated lately, and I do have a lot going on, but when don’t I. No matter what is going on with me and in my life you are still my sister. It has always been you and me against the world, and that will never change. We can talk about your happiness and all of it because you winning and being happy makes me so happy.” Nexus studied you for a few moments then nodded.

  “Even if you’re not really happy, happy?” You knew what she meant and shook your head after a few seconds of adjustment and trying to hide any effects of her words.

  “I’m fine, honey,” you smiled warmly and took her hand, hoping this was enough of a reassurance. Looking at her, you knew she saw right through you. Knew she was not buying anything you were selling. Looking away you continued walking. “Plus, there is nothing confusing about anything. My kid’s father is in her life now, boom end of it.”

  “Vix--,” Nexus began before you cut her off.

  “Tell me about things with you and Anthony.” She smiled widely again then finally caved.

  She told you how much they had in common, how sweet and considerate he was. When she confessed to you that they talked at least three times a day and were always the last call of the day, you couldn’t help but release an audible sigh. She beamed when she spoke about him, and you could tell she was in love. Without warning you pulled her into a hug.

  “What’s this for?”

  “I’m so happy for you, Nex. I am so, so happy for you. You deserve nothing but happiness.” She hugged you back, and the two of you stood there surrounded by trees and nature just hugging each other. Soon Nexus pulled away and sniffled.

  “Don’t make it weird, you’re making it weird,” she said as she wiped her eyes.

  “You’re making it weird; I’m not making it weird.” You wiped your eyes as well and took a breath.

  “I know you hate my advice Vix--.”

  You snorted. “I don’t hate your advice. I hate when you’re right with that advice,” you corrected. Nexus laughed, which made you laugh as well.

  “You love being right and in control. Maybe you need to embrace not having all the answers and the chaos it brings. Maybe through losing control, will you see how rightly wrong you are.” Nex ran off, leaving you standing there to marinate what she’d just said.

  “Did you just give me a fortune cookie riddle? Nex?”

  ~~~~~~~~

When you made it back to the house and took a shower, it was nearing two in the afternoon. The knock at your door brought you out of all your thoughts. When you opened it there he stood holding a towel wrapped beaming Ella.

  “Pool.” Chris smiled then nodded. You shook your head. “All right come on little mermaid. Let’s get you in a bath.”

  You walked out of your room and to her room. When you got inside her ensuite bathroom, you began filling the tub while looking for the bubble bath mixture she loved.

  “Can you grab a fresh towel, please?” Chris nodded and put Ella on the bathroom sink before he walked out.

  After getting her undressed, you placed her into the sea of mounting bubbles. As you did Ella squealed with joy. When Chris returned, she shouted for him, and a broad smile spread across his face. You placed her toys into the bath just as Chris was turning to leave.

  “Da-da tay, gwive bat.”

  Chris looked at you to find out what he should do. You motioned for him to go ahead and slid on top of the bathroom counter. Chris hesitated but approached the tub where you’d laid out everything needed.

  “Pway fuwst, I awiel oo ewic.” She held up her ariel and Eric dolls, and he took one.

  You sat there and watched them reenact most of the movie, songs included, and just shook your head. You couldn’t tell who was enjoying themselves more. It was still insane to think about how alike they were. It was like two peas in a pod. When they reenacted the final battle between Ursala, their eyes turned to you.

  “What?”

  “We kinda need someone to play Ursala,” Chris informed. Your jaw dropped.

  “Are you saying you want me to play the evil sea witch? Of all the other roles, like Ariel’s umpteen sisters, even the darn blowfish that blows his horn, the sea witch is what I came to mind for?”

  Chris smiled as Ella giggled. “Please.”

  Ella then joined in, “Pweese mama.” You looked between them and shook your head as you hopped off the counter to sit at the side of the tub. You then began the scene and gave it your all. You and Chris fake battled using the dolls as weapons, and Ella clapped and laughed the entire time watching the live-action movie. When Chris delivered the final blow you exaggerated the pain and proceeded to the death scene that you dragged out until you were laid across the bathroom floor. Ella clapped wildly, and Chris closed the show with a deep bow.

  “And they lived happily ever after.”

  “Yaaay!” Slowly, you sat up and watched Ella hug Chris. “Da-da, pwince, mine.” You smiled again and thought to yourself how cute they were together.

  Once you were back in her room, you sat on her bed, doing her hair as she hummed to some made up song. Chris walked back into the room arms filled with several wet towels. “Floor is dry, and bath is cleaned up. I’m gonna take a shower.” You nodded and watched him walk out, leaving the door open.

  “Mama.”

  “Yes, princess.”

  “I wike da-da.”

  “Oh, do you?” She nodded.

  “Okay, that’s great, honey.”

  “Oo wike da-da?” Your hands stilled, and you thought about her question. What did you say to a two-year-old when they asked if you liked their father? Taking a deep breath, you forged ahead.

  “Yes, I like him too. She didn’t speak after that, and you were glad for it; your head was now miles away.

  ~~~~~~~

 -Chris-

She said she liked him. He didn’t mean to hear it. He walked out to put the towels in the laundry but turned back to ask you something, but he didn’t expect to hear those words. Now that he’d heard it he couldn’t forget it. The only thing is he didn’t know exactly what you meant by it. There were many ways you could like someone; there was platonic, characteristically, humanely, brotherly, sexually, romantically. There were too many ways to be wrong. You were incredibly hard to read. You were then, and you still were.

  Since he’d found out you were still married, he didn’t know what to do with the information, every day he went back and forth with a decision. One day he thought to tell his legal team to petition to see if the courts would be lenient because of the situation. Then the next he was so close to telling you to see what you wanted. He’d almost told you three times now, and each time he almost did —his heart beat out his chest. He was nervous, scared even. Part of him didn’t want you to want to proceed with the divorce, and the other part said it was the only way. Neither of you knew much about the other. A marriage couldn’t be sustained that way.

  When he thought that though he didn’t really believe it, he knew how he felt about you. Knew it wasn’t some whim, hell he even knew he wouldn’t outgrow it. He was now at the point where he wanted to find a way to make things work. He’d gotten everything he’d wanted one night three years ago and spend the next three years missing it, regretting his mistakes, wishing for them. Everything he’d ever wanted was his, and he didn’t want to let it go—not again.

  He couldn’t read you to decipher what you felt or didn’t feel, no matter how his mother believed you felt something for him. He couldn’t be sure, and the fact that he wasn’t sure stressed him out. The simplicity of the matter was that you could very well not want anything to do with him, including him with Ella. It scared him. He usually wasn’t a timid guy; he was able to read people better than anyone in his circle and would also be the outgoing one. He was never afraid to approach women or take one home. He was not this guy he was now. He didn’t like the fact that he now second guessed everything he did or said. He didn’t like that he double and triple thought everything when it came to you. It was upsetting, but he couldn’t stop. His instincts were all out of whack; nothing felt normal or like he was used to. You were a complete mind fuck.

  He’d thought he could get a better understanding of how you truly felt to make a better decision on what could be possible for the two of you—three of you, but he didn’t know to go about that. Every attempt he’d made thus far has been met with a stern Heisman from you. Every set back further added water to any fire he wanted to believe was still there.

  “You look constipated.”

  He spun around to see Nexus was sitting on one of the chairs in the backyard. He scoffed and shook his head. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “How could you? You were so wrapped up in your head; it was impossible. Everything okay?”

  He nodded and released a breath. “Yeah, all good.” Nexus snorted and shook her head.

  “You and Vixen are such bad liars. I have always been able to see right through her. You, I’m pleased are very similar.”

  “Does uh—does Vixen lie a lot?”

  “To herself mainly.” He nodded, thinking about what that meant when compared to everything from the last few months.

  “Can I ask you something, Chris?”

  “Anything.”

  “In this—fairytale storybook, what are you hoping for?”

  A few moments passed while he thought about it. “I didn’t start off with any wants—not really.”

  “And now? A few months have passed; you’ve been able to grasp things more firmly,  settle into them. What do you want? Remember that night in the diner where I told you to figure out what you want. Did you?”

  He sighed again and looked back to the woods. “I did.”

  “And?”

  He was quiet again. “Chris, I promise anything we talk about won’t go back to Vixen or anyone—unless it’s to protect her.”

  “Protect her? From me?”

  She nodded. “Do you think she needs protecting from me?”

  Nexus studied him for several long moments before she spoke. “Until you know what you want—really want, and it proves to be in the best interest of my sister and niece then you’re a wild card. Wild cards carry plenty of destructing power.” He nodded, understanding the context of what she didn’t say.

  “I want my daughter; I want to be in her life. I want to be there every step of the way. I want her to know me, and I want to know her. I want—to know her mother—to—to--,” he took a deep breath and blew it out before he continued. “I have no intention of hurting Vixen, Nexus.”

  “I believe that, Chris. The thing with the intent not to hurt; we usually unintentionally hurt. I don’t want them hurt. I don’t want it to be proven that it was better having you out of their lives than it was for you to be in them.”

  Truthfully, that was one of his fears as well, a very serious and terrifying fear. He already believed you’d been better off without him the last three years, and he didn’t want to think you’d still be that way for the next three years—three decades and beyond.

  “I want you to win Chris—I want you both to win.” She smiled warmly, and he knew there was no malic coming from her; she genuinely wanted what was best. Nexus turned and walked away, as she did she spoke one final time. “You know what to do.”

He nodded; he did.

  Thirty minutes later, he walked into the family room to see your entire family sitting watching TV. You and Ella were cuddled on the couch with Dodger on the floor beside the couch, with Ella’s hand resting on the top of his head.

  “This could be every day, you idiot. This could be your life.”

  “I have an idea.” Everyone turned to him, waiting for him to continue. “I was able to get some tickets to a carnival that is in town, and I thought we all could enjoy the day there.”

  The grownups looked at each other, but Ella kept looking at the TV.

  “Is that—safe, given who you are?” Your father’s inquiry was a valid one. A lot of times, when he went out, he was ambushed, even when he kept a low profile. The difference though was when he was here—home; no one bothered him. When he was here he was simply Chris, not Captain America, not a famous movie star. He was just Chris.

  “When I’m here, I’m just a normal guy. No one comes up; a lot of people respect me and let me go about my day. So I’m confident with saying it’s safe.”

  “Actually Chris, I have other plans with my husband. So we won’t be able to go,” your mother announced.

  “Okay, that’s no problem. Nex?”

  “Nexus has plans with us as well. We thought a family day,” she continued. Nexus looked to her, and the two exchanged a look. It was a look he couldn’t decipher, but as quickly as it happened, Nexus looked away.

  “Yeah. I can’t wait to spend time with them.” It was then you sat up on the couch as you looked at your sister quizzically.

  “That leaves you, Ella and Vixen. What do you say Kristella? Carnival, rides, games, cotton candy, prizes?” Your mother listed off the items, each item was said with way more enthusiasm than necessary. It didn’t take Ella long to stand on the couch and jump up and down.

  “Yeah, cawvival, cawvival, candy, wide, yayy!” Dodger began barking, trying to get on his hind legs to lick her.

  “Uh, if it’s a family day, mom, shouldn’t I be going with you, dad, and Nex?”

  “Vixen, can’t I spend time with my parents without you for once? God, it’s not always about you,” Nexus exclaimed. Your eyes widened, but you didn’t look hurt. You looked distrustful.

  “Chop, chop, sooner you leave the more carnival fun,” your mother added while clapping her hands. Ella leaped off the couch and landed on her knees. His heart jumped into his throat as he practically dived to her to check if she were okay. Ella stood brushed off her knees and ran around the room showcasing how fine she was.

  “Come on, Vixen, let’s get you changed,” your mother offered.

  “Changed? Why can’t I wear what I have on?” Your mother looked you over once and shook her head before ushering you out of the room.

When you came back down twenty minutes later, you were changed, and you looked as gorgeous as ever. The pleased look on your mother's face told him this had been her plan. He scoffed and shook his head. He’d never been set up with his own wife before.

  “That’s a first.”

  “All right you crazy kids, go enjoy the carnival,” your mother expressed with a smile.

  You rolled your eyes and took up your purse. Ella took his hand, and he held on to the bag that was packed for her, and they were off.

  Ten minutes into the drive, you snorted and began laughing.

  “What?”

  “You do realize we were set up, right?” He smiled and nodded.

  “Yeah, I picked up on it with how big your mom’s smile was.” The two of you laughed together, and the awkwardness was gone.

  ~~~~~~~~

 -Vixen-

He looked like he belonged pushing Ella in her stroller with her backpack on his back, and his hat tipped low. He looked like a dad, and it should not have affected you the way that it did. As you looked around the sea of people that were around you at the carnival you saw families of all kinds and even couples, and you wondered if any of their stories were as wild or complex as yours.

  “So games, food or rides first?”

  “Wide, wide!” You nodded, motioning to Ella.

  “Seems like the boss has spoken,” he teased.

  The three of you walked around on the hunt for a toddler friendly ride. When you came upon the Merry-Go-Round, you and Chris exchanged a look.

  “Merry-Go-Round still your favorite carnival, right?”

  Chris smiled widely as he rubbed the back of his neck that was turning a slight shade of pink.

  “Sad to say, yeah, hands down,” he responded. You smiled and nodded.

  “Then, let’s ride.”

  The three of you made it on the platform and walked around in search of the right animal to ride. Ella pointed out a pink unicorn with white flowers at its crown, and Chris nodded. Once he placed her on the unicorn and strapped her in, he climbed onto it behind her and held on to the pole with one hand and her with the other. You chose the black horse that was diagonal from them and strapped up. When you looked back to them Chris’ eyes were looking at your backside. Heat ran through you, and half of you wanted to play it up and poke out your ass some more to give him a better view while the other half wanted to wallow in the embarrassment of the moment.

  You looked forward, took a breath, and held on to the pole waiting for the ride to start. Once it did Ella, let out a loud squeal. Looking back, she had the hugest smile on her face as she held on to the pole. Your horse went up her unicorn went down, then vice versa. By the time you made your third go around, she and Chris were laughing and whispering together, and that was your catastrophic moment. The moment that packed the biggest punch. They both looked incredibly happy and so in love with each other. You knew she was better with him in her life, and for the first time you wanted him to be in yours too.

  Once you got off, your realization had you quiet and reserved for quite a while. You tried to remain present, tried to push it all from your mind, but every cute moment between them made it that much harder. Every game they played together that Chris helped her with made your heart warm, and every time Ella initiated touching him being a handhold or a lean, your belly did flips. When she initiated a hug, you were thoroughly fucked up. Who knew watching your child with her father could make you feel so much—all the things you’d buried.

  Two hours later you had eaten a high amount of cheese, carbs, starch, and ketchup, consumed almost Ella’s body weight in cotton candy, went on nearly every child appropriate ride, allowed Ella to pet and take pictures with the elephants and had a stroller filled with prizes of various sizes.

  “You, sir, one try to get this bulb all the way to the top. If you do, you get two prizes.” Chris snorted and shook his head while keeping it down.

  “No, thank you.”

  “What’s the matter afraid you’ll embarrass yourself striking out sending this three hundred pound bulb up in front of your wife?” He laughed and kept his head down.

“No, not afraid,” he confessed.

  “Then let’s see it, Superman.” The game controller held out the mallet to him. Chris looked to you, and you smirked.

  “Do it da-da.”

  “All right, the little princess has spoken,” Chris joked. You bent and lifted Ella as Chris took the mallet and prepared to slam it down. He looked up at the bulb and to the game controller.

  “Three hundred pounds, huh.”

  The game controller nodded with a smug look on his face; “Whenever you’re ready,” the game controller encouraged.

  Chris lifted his arms and his shirt rose just above his navel and the sliver of skin, and muscle had you ready to touch. Chris grunted as he slammed the mallet down. The sound was sexy, and your desire level rose exponentially. The bulb shot all the way up, lighting up the entire contraption, and sounding all the alarms. Nearby onlookers watched and gaped at the result of his stroke. Just like that you knew you were going to end up having sex with him. It was only a matter of time and dependent on how long you could keep your desires in check with the right thing to do, the sensible thing—the safe thing.

Chris came back over with two prizes in hand, a unicorn that was no doubt for Ella and Flit the bird from Pocahontas--your favorite Disney movie. Ella reached her arms out for him to give him a quick hug. “Dude, what the—how the--,” the game controller struggled to get out. Chris shrugged as he took hold of the stroller.

  “Guess I’m Captain America.” He walked off with you giggling as the man stood there, stumped to how it was possible.

  Your next stop was the Ferris Wheel. You tried to contain your glee once you stepped onto the ride, but when Chris looked over at you, as the ride began your face betrayed you.

  “How excited are you right now?” You squealed and laughed.

  “Oh my god, I am so excited. I love the Ferris Wheel!”

  Chris smiled widely and nodded as he held Ella. “I know, I remember.” You looked away and out to the horizon.

  When your cart made it to the top, you looked out and sighed. This was your favorite part. Ella stood in Chris’ lap and looked around.

“Wow!”

  “I can see why you love it so much,” Chris added.

  “Anyone who doesn’t like this is either afraid of heights or prefers to keep their feet on the ground, so boring.”

  He laughed loud while slapping his hand across his pec muscle. You smiled.

  “Wow, so they’re boring, huh. That is very presumptuous of you. They could be outgoing in other things.” You smiled and shook your head.

  “I said what I said. Boring. If you aren’t adventurous in something as simple as a ride, then you are boring in everything else.”

  “Everything?” You looked at him and knew what he was asking. You smiled and shook your head. This was how things started, his questioning, and the raised eyebrow.

  “Yes. Everything.” He laughed and shook his head then looked at Ella, who was so engrossed with the view she was practically pressing against the protective screen. As you watched him with your daughter, you took notice of how protective he was of her. He held her tightly, kept her away from the filthy protective screen, nodded his head along to whatever she was saying, even allowed her to use his face as a steadying force without cringing at her hands. It all screamed parental.

  “What’re you thinking?” Snapping out of it, you shook your head, trying to guide him from the topic.

  “No, I know that look. It’s probably one of the only looks I know. You were thinking about something. What was it?”

  You thought about cluing him in for a moment then looked down at your hands as you felt the wheel move again. “Nothing really, it was just seeing you and her—like this it—it looked very—paternal.”

  “Paternal? What do you mean by that?”

  “You look as if you’ve been doing this your whole life or her whole life. There was really no adjustment period with you. You—slid right in.”

  He looked to be thinking about your words then looked to Ella’s face. She looked at him and smiled, a smile he quickly returned. “Honestly it felt right. You ever had something just feel as natural as breathing? Like you knew all the answers, knew just what to do, what to expect, how to be, just knowing it.”

  You nodded. “That is what it felt like. Yeah, I was scared for a while when I found out, but after the night we watched The Little Mermaid for the first time together everything felt right. It felt more right than anything had felt in a long time. I can’t explain it.”

  “You just did.” You stared at each other, and time seemed to stand still with the three of you moving slowly through the air with the beautiful setting sun as your backdrop.

  “Stay on or get off?” The ride controller brought you back to the present, and the two of you spoke at the same time.

  “Stay on.”

  So that’s what you did, rode the Ferris Wheel until you and Ella had enough, which was three more times. There was no need for much conversation, so the two of you barely spoke, and it felt perfect. You appreciated that neither of you felt the need to fill every moment between you with conversation; silence was just as good.

Another hour found you sitting on a lawn with the rest of the carnival patrons watching the night’s firework show. It was incredible and definitely a competing force for Macy’s Fourth of July firework show. Every burst of color to the sky had Ella completely captivated. She sat there between you and Chris as still as a river just transfixed by everything she saw. Every time you looked over to her Chris’ eyes met yours, and you held each other’s gaze for longer than necessary. You loved the way he looked under the light of fireworks. Though it was dark his eyes were still intense and still did things to you that you should have been ashamed of. Part of you was ashamed, but the other part didn’t seem to care too much. You were always the one to look away. You mostly did it because you were afraid he’d see everything you held behind your eyes, everything you weren’t quite sure you were ready to show him.

  By the time you made it back to the house, it was nearing eleven, and Ella was knocked out. You sat in the parked car for a few extra minutes, just enjoying the silence.

  “This was great. Thank you.”

  Chris nodded. “It was great. Thank you for coming.”

  You smiled and stared at your hands. Nervousness filled you, and you felt like a high school girl being dropped home by her crush, wondering if he’d make a move. Every time you were around each other every moment felt like it was prime for either him or you to make a move, but neither of you did.

  “Should we get her in bed?” You nodded and climbed out of the truck.

  Chris got Ella, and the three of you went inside the house and upstairs. When you walked into Ella’s room you began pulling back the covers of her bed for him to place her in. Once he did, the two of you worked together to undress her as smoothly as possible to not wake her. Chris disappeared for a few moments then when you turned and bumped into him, he was there holding a pair of pajamas for you. Your hands grazed, and then your eyes met. You were so close all you had to do was tip up on your toes, and your lips would touch.

  You took the clothes and turned back to Ella and proceeded to dress her. After you finished it was Chris who tucked her in, and both of you kissed her at the same time. Again, your eyes met, and your belly did somersaults. You backed away, trying to keep distance between you. “Thank you again for tonight,” you whispered.

  “We make a good team.” He nodded to Ella’s sleeping frame, and you both watched her for a few moments.

  “We do. We created her; that was perfect teamwork,” you absentmindedly responded.

  “Do you regret it?” Your head snapped to him, confused why he’d ask you that.

  “Do I regret what? Having her or--,” you allowed the remainder of the sentence to hang in the air.

  “All of it.”

  What a loaded question you thought, but the answer was simple. “I regret nothing.”

  Chris looked shocked, then interested. He took a step to you. “Nothing?”

  After a few seconds, you took a step to him, leaving just a sliver of space between you. “Not a thing.” You watched Chris bite into his bottom lip, and next thing you knew his lips were on yours, taking control of the sultriest kiss you’d had in three years. It only took seconds for your knees to buckle and moments for him to take your breath away. You kissed him with the same fire and need that emitted from him. After barely a minute, the two of you were moaning in the dark, quiet room seeming to not care about anything else.

  You needed to get closer, so you lifted your leg, and his hand was there to grip your thigh, holding it in place against him. Chris then bent slightly and lifted you against him. Automatically your legs wrapped around him. Chris then moved from the center of the room and pressed you against a nearby wall. You moaned when you felt his growing hardness press into the apex of your thighs. With your moan Chris groaned and bit onto your bottom lip. You felt as if your skin was scorching, and there was a fire that was flaming out from your nether regions. The more intensely and expertly he kissed you, the more out of control the fire became. Chris pressed himself into you more forcefully, and you gasped, pulling your lips from his and hitting your head back onto the wall with an audible, “Fuck!”

  Chris took the opportunity to latch his lips onto your neck and suck just where he knew you craved his mouth. You shivered and felt wetness pool between your legs. He didn’t stay at your neck for long; instead his lips traveled to your clavicle where he peppered feathered kisses across it. Then Chris’ mouth moved down your sternum until you felt his teeth clamp onto one of your already needy nipples. You gasped again and couldn’t control your lower half from grinding against him. Chris groaned loudly and hissed when he felt your fingernails dig into his shoulders.

  All you had to do was continue the friction of his length on your crotch, and you’d come, you were that open. Chris allowed you to slide down from his body so you were on the floor then he began to go lower to your stomach. It was then you caught of glimpse of Ella sleeping peacefully in her bed across the room. The realization of what was happening and what would happen soon slammed into you like a ton of bricks. You gasped. Like a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over your head you snapped out of it.

  “Wait—wait.” Chris’s actions instantly stopped. He didn’t look up at you though. It was as if he thought that if he didn’t move, things would fall back into place. After almost a minute, he looked up at you then stood coming face to face with you.

  “What’s wrong?” You took the time to study his eyes and go over every single aspect of his face. He was gorgeous, always had been, but he’d only grown better looking.

  “We can’t.” He didn’t speak; he studied you as you studied him.

  “We’ve already screwed things up so bad already. I’ve screwed up. We can’t—can’t do this. We have to focus on that little girl and only her. We can’t ruin things anymore.”

  His expression was masked as was anything he was thinking or feeling. He looked like a blank canvas. Chris looked down, nodded and then stepped away from you. Your eyes dropped to his waist, and you saw the strain of his pants. Again, your desire for him flared. Before you could drop to your knees and do what you wanted to, you scurried from the room with your head high and back straight. You were so thankful you’d packed your vibrator, tonight you’d need it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[false-mastermind]

(I've just started following this blog and am very confused, could I get a quick summary of this blog and what's happening/happened real quick if it isn't too much trouble?)

Oh of course! Most of what happened for this blog is on @false-mastermind-archived, but I’ll try to sum it up to the best of my abilities! It’ll be under the cut for you.

So the story first starts with him a few months after the 53rd killing game, at that time he was working for Team Danganronpa. He meets an ultimate spiritual medium(@medium-saihara) during this time and they become close and they have a mutual crush on eachother.

Then I decided I’m starting a killing game, because I do that sometimes. A few people are thrown in there along with Medium Shuichi and another Kokichi Ouma(@liars-make-me-sick). Kitkat didn’t make the best first impression with Kokichi, but that’s okay! He got framed for the other’s murder and almost died.

After fifty-four ended I let him go on a little trip, he got his ears pierced there. During that time he had also covered the other Kokichi’s hospital bill because sometimes he can be nice. After that, he learns the truth.

The truth was, he never actually willingly joined Team Danganronpa and all that fun shit that he’s still mad about. So him, being a genius(/s), faked his death. And since he technically lost all of his possessions due to that he moved in with Kiibo(@imnotjustarobot).

A few fun shenanigans later and we get to an event I can never forget. The puppet M!A. That got extended to hell and back. And then it couldn’t be canceled or subtracted from. And then no one could add anything to it.

Basically what happened with that was his boyfriend at the time, Rantaro(blog has since been deleted), got ahold of him and basically tortured him. Kiibo decided that this wouldn’t happen, went to stop it with a broken hand, and basically died. In the end Kitkat got out and went home. After a while Rantaro proposed but then he was also broken up with.

After that it’s just some more problems and Kokichi is usually the one bailing him out. Because the other Kokichi is nice, and I don’t take criticism on that.

Fast forward a few months and we have fifty-five. No one knows what’s going on until because they didn’t get their memories for it. Basically in this Kokichi, who now goes by Dice in this, is Kitkats brother. Kitkat’s name for this killing game was Kitaro, which was shortened to Kit, which became Kitkat. I genuinely forgot who came up with it, so the three blogs tagged in this can take credit. During fifty-five he gets a boyfriend, then he dies. His boyfriend also dies. The brother lived. I could’ve probably summed this up better though.

Shortly after fifty-five ends, he gets to meet his dads again! They also move from Kiibo’s apartment because he had far too many cats. Then gets into a car crash with Kiibo. Kiibo is fucking dead and Kit is in a coma. After a while everything returns to how it was. I think.

After this, there was a despair M!A and people died. He lost a lot of his mental stability due to killing two people that were close to him. Then he was reset!

Now, you might be thinking: Scout, what was the point of that if he doesn’t remember it? Well, I’ll tell ya!

The reset starts during fifty-three. Anons “killed” Kaito. Except, no they didn’t it was a robot and I’m a little bitch. <3

During the time he didn’t remember anything he meets Izumi. Everyone fucking hates her because she’s a bitch. I don’t take criticism here.

She was very nice to Kitkat, so it was easy to gain his friendship. But he was still suspicious of her due to the fact he had a stalker at the time. Eventually he gets some of his memories back. Yaaay.

Then he gets yoinked. Then he’s free. Then Shirogane, who had been helping him with getting a new job “dies”. Except no she didn’t. Because I’m a little bitch <3.

After that he’s put in charge of Team Danganronpa, anons impersonate Kiibo and break up with him. He’s sad now. Then anons impersonate his brother and are mean to him.

After this Kiibo gets yoinked for a while, I wanna say around 20-30 days. Then dumb bitch Kitkat decides he’s gonna spend all of his time searching for the robot. Robot wasn’t in a good condition because Actor Bitch is mean and we hate her here.

During the search he had brought his brother. Then he disappeared and since that isn’t my event, I will not talk about it here.

Fast forward to November and he’s yoinked again. Because Actor Bitch is mean. We still hate her. A lot happened off blog during this, but I won’t go into detail because this is already long enough as is. All you need to know is that Actor Bitch is dead except- no, I’m just kidding. She is dead. And she can stay that way.

Little man needs to have his hand cut off to escape, so it’s cut off. He leaves. That results in a lot of waking. He makes it to the Team Danganronpa building with the help of Clover Anon. After that he rests for a bit. Clover Anon steals a car and drives him home. Then he goes on a surprise vacation.

He hands off the title of CEO of Danganronpa to someone else, and just relaxes a little. Meets some people in a café. Then he goes home. Then today happened.

[thanksjro]

Last Stand of the Wreckers, Issue #4: This Series is Awash With Lippy Sons of Guns

Issue #4 starts off with an uncomfortably handsome Prowl. I mean honestly, look at this asshole, he’s simply too pretty.

I don’t think Roche has ever drawn the guy ugly, but this is on another level.

We’re in a flashback sequence here, as we start to gain an understanding of just why exactly Ironfist got put on the Wreckers in the first place. Back when he was working at Kimia, Ironfist got a call from Prowl. Seems Prowl’s read his work, and is impressed by the sheer amount of effort he’s put into it. They chat a bit about it, but no call with Prowl is ever casual, and he asks Ironfist if he’s ever been interested in actually being a Wrecker. Which, of course he has, but he’d never exactly been cut out for that kind of work, especially after his Accident™. Prowl has a little push in that area, because he’s Prowl, and makes a deal; Ironfist joins the Wreckers as a weapon expert, and in exchange he does something for Prowl.

We won’t find out what exactly Ironfist’s agreed to do until later, as we jump back to the present, where the Guzzle and Kup are about to lay the smackdown on some unsuspecting Decepticons.

With how many cameras are currently trained on you guys, I can’t say you really have the time for wisecracks, old-timer.

That big vault door behind them leads to the cell of one of the most notorious Autobots ever to grace the galaxy- Grimlock. This is the “help” Springer requested they find, meaning that he’s a sort of last resort, which tells you just how much of a powerhouse the guy is. Volatile, sure, but a powerhouse regardless.

Too bad the cell’s empty.

Snare steps in to explain just why that is, having snuck up on our Big Gulp duo.

Well I’m sure that won’t be a plot point later on.

Of course, Guzzle doesn’t really feel inclined to believe a word of what this Getaway kitbash says, and starts threatening to shoot him. Snare however, has even more secrets to tell.

Perceptor and pals have finally discovered just what the hell it is that they’ve been looking for all this time. Aequitas is a supercomputer, and a massive one at that. They’re here to download its memory files. Topspin is less than pleased with this whole thing.

Ironfist agrees- there’s no way they’re going to be able to get all the data in Aequitas downloaded before the Decepticons get through to them and tear them to pieces. Verity, however, is more concerned about the size of the computer itself.

A large part of Aequitas is made up of something called a culpability drive, which breaks down factors like motivation and accountability into a streamlined equation so it can do something completely ridiculous: calculate guilt. Yes, someone had the bright idea to break down guilt into a binary system, without any “human” element involved. Because that couldn’t possibly backfire.

Then the narrative catches up to Topspin, and Ironfist and Verity get put on babysitting duty while he deals with his phantom pain. Pyro’s made to help Perceptor with booting up the computer.

Over with Springer, he and Impactor have a little heart-to-heart, while Twin Twist is passed out with a shadow over his face, probably waiting for the horrific reveal of what the dentist’s done to him. Springer feels really bad about Impactor having been sent to Garrus-9; he’d figured that after the trial, Impactor had been sent to rehab, or at least a prison that wasn’t quite as torturey.

Impactor points out that Springer’s testimony at Aequitas was pretty damning, and I’m starting to wonder why Springer didn’t see this coming. Unless they somehow managed to move that massive friggin’ supercomputer in the last few years, Impactor’s trial happened on Garrus-9. Kind of seems like a foregone conclusion that anyone who got put through the Aequitas wringer would end up staying if found guilty.

Impactor still doesn’t think that what he did was wrong, and the only reason they stop verbally duking it out is because Twin Twist does his dramatic face reveal and the dentist comes back in to finish off those fillings.

Funny, they had a similar setup at my old orthodontist’s.

As the dentist prepares to turn what’s left of Twin Twist’s face into the “Lust” scene from Se7en, we get back to the real point of this whole miniseries: fanwanking. Ironfist is telling Verity about the Decepticon’s answer to the Wreckers- Squadron X.

This group is made up entirely of characters who only existed in the Marvel UK comics, and even then only barely. This is convenient on multiple levels; it allows the Wreckers to have an antithesis to their own group that won’t disrupt any of the ongoing storylines outside of Last Stand of the Wreckers. Nobody’s really vying to use the guy who beat up a piano and then got thrown out of a bar, now are they?

It also allows you to use an already-established character that still has plenty of wiggle room for story application. No point in trying to make a new set of characters when we’ve got a bin full of nobodies off in the corner. Especially when we’re only going to have these guys around for a few minutes.

But we’ll get to that later.

Back to Ironfist’s story…

Oh hey Whirl.

Springer’s in a bit of a pickle- his lower half is trapped under a busted barricade, and Squadron X is closing in. Impactor has no intention of leaving Springer behind, so it’s time to get crazy. Springer tells Impactor to blast a hole through his TORSO so he can surprise-attack the approaching enemy. Impactor does so, reluctantly.

Please note that the emphasis is not mine, but the narrative’s.

That’s just a cool panel.

Once all that’s over and done with, Squadron X are all put into inhibitor harnesses to keep them from trying anything funny while in custody. But oh ho, what’s this? They’ve escaped! And they’ve ripped Sandstorm’s arm off! Surely, this must be dealt with, and who better suited for the job than the dude who’s been obsessed with taking these guys out for years now? Impactor gets to work.

And thus the day is saved, thanks to the Wreckers! Yaaay!

With Ironfist’s story concluded, Perceptor takes the time to mention that they’ve got a problem. Turns out Aequitas has some state-of-the-art security measures going on- in order to even turn the thing on, someone’s got to feed the thing their spark. You know, a robot soul. This thing runs on souls, and the donator has to be a willing participant otherwise it won’t work.

Well that’s awful convenient for you, now ain’t it, Percy?

I’m assuming they just never turned the thing off during the trials, otherwise they would have run out of juice very quickly.

So it’s slim pickings in terms of sparks. Perceptor’s playing IT, Topspin’s whole spark situation is a consent minefield, and Verity’s soul is the normal, human, intangible kind. And now we get to the part of our story that’s a little sad.

Pyro and Ironfist aren’t popular. They’ve never been in the spotlight. They aren’t important. They were brought on the Wreckers to die, plain and simple, because it’s a game of numbers, and their numbers are miles below the likes of Springer and Kup.

Pyro isn’t on-board with this at all, saying that this isn’t how it’s supposed to go down for him.

Say what you will about his delusions of grandeur, but this is a guy who knows what he wants.

While Pyro’s dreaming big, Topspin’s having a really bad time in the background. That vicarious perception’s hitting real hard right now.

Ironfist plays the child in a bitter divorce between Pyro and Verity as they argue over who the hell should die so the plot can keep moving. Ironfist has a lot to say, a lot that he really should say, but he doesn’t. He’s not proud of himself, or the things he’s done as a weapons’ expert. After reflecting on his life- a life that hasn’t been profoundly wondrous or meaningful- he concedes to being the one to die.

But that doesn’t happen, because Topspin takes matters into his own hands and puts the goddamn dog to sleep. The dog in this case being himself and Twin Twist. Aequitas thanks him for his donation, sucks out his spark, and over in the torture chamber Twin Twist explodes.

With the twins(?) dead, Aequitas is online, and not a moment too soon, because those Decepticons are starting to bring the door down. Perceptor hands a headphone jack to Ironfist, tells him to plug it into his brain, and to get ready for the hurt, because they’re about to download the entirety of this supercomputer into his head.

Back with Impactor, he’s about to get his cornea scratched, when Guzzle and Kup come to save the day, following Snare’s guidance.

I just want to say, Guzzle wins the Worst Crotch award. It’s simply awful.

So Kup and Guzzle free Springer and Impactor, just in time for Springer to revenge-stab the dentist with the torture stick. Too bad he’s already shot Snare.

Play… makes you free... in the prison that’s been turned into basically a death camp. Is… are we really doing the Holocaust parallels again? God, I hope I’m reading too much into that, I really do.

We finally find out what the prize for winning the Pit fights is: you can either fight Overlord, or kill yourself. Not much of a prize, if you ask me.

Speaking of the Blue Terror, he’s on his way over. Snare asks that Impactor just kill him, because there’s no way he’s going to risk being found out by Overlord that he was being sneaky. Impactor obliges, crushing his brain module between his fingers.

Then Overlord quite literally explodes into the room.

Back over in the Aequitas chamber, Ironfist’s just finished with his upload, and he’s shaken by what he now knows. The Decepticons have nearly broken down the door at this point, and there’s only one way to save themselves- they have to detonate the prisoners’ deterrence chips. This, of course, includes Impactor. Perceptor’s all for it, but Pyro’s wholly against the idea. Verity tries to put in her vote, but humans don’t have rights in the eyes of Wrecker law, so it all comes down to Ironfist.

You heard the man, let’s kill the purple guy.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E21

Screw that ending.  In its entirety.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post (even though about 20% of this post is horrified screaming)

“Dig me up!”  *starts singing “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham!*

DIG ME UP/ BEFORE YOU GO-GO/DON’T LEAVE ME LAYING THERE LIKE A HOBO

Pretty much the latter half of Gotham 4B is dedicated to dragging the ever loving crap out of Jerome

*cups hands around mouth*  JIM AIN’T DEAD!

Lucius!

“Last time we [the other officers] followed you [Harvey], the Pyg slaughtered us.”  I haven’t reached Professor Pyg yet in my reactions but C’MON!

Thank you, Harper!

“...he’s outside and he’s not alone.”  Oooooohhhhh...

THAT OUTFIT THOUGH!

“JEREMIAH!  JEREMIAH!”  Dude even has a back-up choir!

I also really like the military-style outfit that the other followers have on

This natural lighting on Bullock and the other officers looks pretty nice, I gotta say

Can we talk about this wide shot of Bullock and the other officers vs. Jeremiah and his followers?  ‘Cause that is a thing of beauty.

“Don’t compare me to that short-sighted psychopath.”  #DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

For some reason, Jeremiah sounds like a mix between Hannibal Lector [Anthony Hopkins] and Andrew Scott’s Jim Moriarty (except if he were American)

*Jeremiah pulls out another dead man’s switch*  Oh crap...

*The clock tower goes down*  OHHHHHH!

Here’s my question:  where did Jeremiah get his outfits?

“Looks aren’t everything,” my ass...

What the crap did they [Penguin and Butch] do to Jongleur?

“If it isn't little Penguin. Oh, and Butch's corpse.“  Pfftt....

“The man responsible for the recent fireworks is Jeremiah Valeska.  Twin brother of our old associate.“  HOW DO YOU [Oswald] KNOW?!?

“[Tabitha] Don’t look at me [Barbara] like that.”  Pfftt...

Bruce!

“I'm [Harvey] so sick of that freaking family [the Valeskas]...“  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

“[Bruce] Be with Alfred.  Be safe.  It's what Jim would want.“  Yes, please!

“Alfred, where have you been?”  “No, not Alfred.”  Shit.

When did Jeremiah take the time to dye his hair in between this episode and the last one?

Ecco probably did it.  We know she did.

“But I meant what I [Jeremiah] said.  You're my best friend, and today I'm gonna prove it to you [Bruce].“  Screw this noise!

Wait, you can turn off the dead man’s switch?

“Tell the police and I'll know. Just like I [Jeremiah] know that's where you [Bruce] are right now.“  Wait, how does he know?  Is there a spy inside the precinct?

HERCULES MULLIGAN

*cups hands around mouth*  I TOLD Y’ALL HE [Jim] AIN’T DEAD!

Lee!

*Jim rips out the IV in his arm*  Why do people keep doing that in Hollywood stuff?  Seriously.

That is the most graceful collapse back onto the bed that I’ve ever seen, Jim.

“I'm [Selina] gonna be here whenever you [Bruce] need me.”  Aaaawww....

“He [Jeremiah] wants something out of me [Bruce].”  “Like what, to be your best friend?“  Actually, yes... for some reason...

I don’t like thisss... not one bittt....

*Bruce is shown footage of Alfred getting beat up*  AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

“If this is what you [Lee] want, I will do it.  For you.”  Oh my gosh, Ed is so unbelievably stupid!

“Do it for us.”  They better not, they better not-

*Lee and Ed kiss*  Eeuughh!

Whoa...

Is that blood... on the mirror above the captain’s office?

Please tell me it’s silly string.

AN:  It’s spray paint.

“The bombs are connected by a nervous system. The core relay is the brain. We find that, we destroy that-”   “We can stop the bombs from going off.”  Where’s the core relay?

That transition overhead shot of Gotham is so obviously New York City.

OOOHHHH THAT’S A NICE SHOT....

“I envy you.”  You do not.  Shut the hell up.

“Call our friend.  Tell him to kill the butler.  He's no longer necessary.“  You better not!

“And is that my dear Jongleur with my core relay in his hand and a grenade taped to his mouth?”  Hooooooo....

Oh my gosh, that hat take-off though!

This is gonna go south real fast.

Look at Jeremiah sitting in the chair all proper and dandy!

“I see.  I play the villain, you get away scot-free and rich.  I get you the money, you give me back my core relay.“  Oh my god, Oswald, you dead.

*Jeremiah rolls his eyes whenever Barbara speaks*  HAHAHAHA!

“I'm nothing if not sane.  And reasonable.  Two things my brother never valued.  Which is why I'll be successful where he failed.  Well, that and being vastly more intelligent.“  *hisses in panic*

#DraggingJeromeValeska2k18

“We're not just gonna hand this thing over and let him destroy Gotham, are we?”   “Of course not.  Once we get the money, we kill Jeremiah and his people, give the core relay to the police, split the $50 million, and are hailed as the heroes of Gotham!”  WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OUT LOUD?!?  WHY?!?

EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IS DEAD

*Jeremiah pulls out a bazooka*  OOHHHHH

“Are you [Jeremiah] OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?”  Yes.

“What's insane about having a backup plan?  Something Jongleur never knew about.“  True!

Oh my gosh, Jeremiah running up the stairs!  Speedy Gonzalez!

“I imagine you're wondering, why is Jeremiah doing this?“  I bet you’re wondering I brought you here today...

“My brother once said, "All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.“  Oh my God...

*screams when Alfred is shown being tortured*

Oh my God...

Craaaaap!

*gasps when Alfred gets doused in laughing gas*

*weakly*  Noo....

“I'm only helping you because I'm with Lee now.”  “Fine.  Whatever.” Hahaha!

“Ed, Jeremiah Valeska is threatening to destroy half the city.  You really think I care if you've deluded yourself into thinking you and Lee are a couple?“  YES!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU JIM!  YESSSS!!

“She's with me in every way.”  Punch him.  Now.

“And you, Jim, are ten times the killer that I ever was.”  Ed, shut the heck up.

*slaps desk with every other word*  Can we please get back to the discussion at hand please thank you!

Is that Gotham?

“Jeremiah lived his entire life in a maze.  Now he's trying to remake the city into the place he feels most safe.“  Man...

“It’s [the solution to the maze] actually rather elegant.”  Shoot, Jeremiah’s more like the Riddler than the actual Riddler in this show!

Punch him [Ed].  Now!

*Jim knocks out Ed with one punch*  YESSSSSS!  THANK YOU!

*claps with each word*  Jim Gordon, MVP.

“Get the core relay, he [Oswald] says!  Have the upper hand, he says!“  Heehee!

“That means we can disrupt them by disarming the first bomb in the sequence.  It's like removing one light from a string of Christmas lights.“  So where’s the first one?

*Jim and Harvey reunite with a hug*  YAY!

You’d think Jeremiah would keep his plans more well hidden...

*Scarecrow sneaks up behind Selina*  OOOOOOHHHHHHH

IS THAT A SCYTHE?!?!?

Scarecrow’s literally just standing there, literally not moving, just holding his scythe.  It’s for the aesthetic.

*Scarecrow swings his scythe at Selina*  WHOA!

Bruce!  Get out of there!

AAAAAAHHHHHH I’M NOT LIKING THIS EPISODE AT ALL!

Fear toxin!  It’s fear toxin!  Bruce, you’re hallucinating this!

*screams when Fake Alfred gives himself a Glasgow smile*

I’m not likin’ this episode!

*gasps when Fake Alfred goes after Bruce*

I’m actually shaking...

No, no, Bruce, this is fake!

*Selina finds a hostage in a closet*  That has to be the real Alfred!

Who’s Bruce fighting then?

*screams when Fake Alfred gets shot and falls over the balcony*

“Alfred...”  Hug.  Please.  Hug.

[The generator bomb] Looks like a building...

Why and how did Jeremiah dye his hair?  I like it though.

Vertigo shot....

“This is a message to the followers of Jeremiah Valeska.  Jeremiah claims to have killed me [Jim].  Well, bad news, I'm alive.“  Haha!

“So, just know you're worshipping a fraud. A pale imitation of Jerome.“  Whoooo...

Go Jim!

You [Harvey] better not be doing “Eeny Meeny Miny Moe” on a bomb...

Aaaand he did.

*jumps when Jeremiah silences the cultists*

[Jeremiah smiles]  *softly*  Oh my God that’s awesome... oh my God...

*Jeremiah purges the cultists*  OOOHHHHHH

Here’s my question:  where’s Ecco?

“Perhaps the outcome was not what we had hoped, - but it was worth the risk.“  Oswald, shut up.  Let everybody enjoy their booze.

*Butch decides not to join Oswald*  Thank you!

Is that an old church?

“Think think think think think think...”  Haha!

“Who are you?  What do you want?”  “I [Ra’s]had a vision.  Of Gotham in flames.”  *gasps*

OOHHHH MY GODDD.... OH my God, I was right!

I freaking called it [Jeremiah and Ra’s meeting]!  I freaking called it!  Jeremiah and Ra’s are gonna cause No Man’s Land...

“Because, my boy-”  Mah boy... not a good sign!  Not a good thing!

“-this is about Bruce Wayne.”  Of course it is!  It’s always about Bruce!

Drink all the booze!

It’d be cool if we see Bludhaven next season.

Oh I like that lighting... it’s so good!  Jim in yellow and Lee in blue...

“But whatever happens after I walk out that door, I care about you.  And I always will.“  Aawww...

Oh man, this is sad.  Man...

Freaking Ed... get the heck out!

Get frozen in ice again!

*The precinct applauds Harvey*  Yaaayy!  Yay, recognition for Harvey!  This is stuff I like this show!  Yaaay!

Happy ending?  In a “Gotham” episode?  It’s probably less likely than I think!

[Bruce and Alfred] Hug!  Please!  Hug!

*Alfred leaves*  Dang it.

“Thank you again.  I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there.”  Aaawww...

Oh oh oh are they are they-

*Bruce and Selina kiss*  OOOHHHHHH!!!  Yes!

“Jeremiah said all it takes is one bad day to drive a person insane. I wonder if my parents dying made me [Bruce] a little insane.“  Mmmm....

*gasps when Jeremiah strolls in*

*Jeremiah shoots Selina*  OOOHHHHHHHH!! NO! NOOOO!!!

*Alfred tackles Jeremiah to the ground and beats the crap out of him*  YES YES YES YES THANK YOU!

NOOOO!!  No, no, she’s alive!

*Credits start playing*  Screw this entire show.  I’m done.