#Once again i do not want ppl to like her out of PITY. she deserves a very honest group of fans and if those fans are ppl

[stupidrant]

i think the most we will get is PC release (if that) this year but that means we gotta deal with those trolls bc changing angrb0da’s skin color is such a big deal to these mfs and i still dont understand that sweet baby inc shit bcuz all the information im seeing is just bundled bullshit LMFAOOO i feel like her actual character gets overshadowed by the made up problems and no one actually talks abt HER as a character or even analyses her fr (outside of here ofc) lol sms abt to make a banger with her and atreus istg

[shiningclown69]

Sky vs Riven

Lord this might be a bit controversial but

Thinking abt the amt of flak Sky gets compared to Riven + a bit of Rivusa

(I speak a bit negatively abt Rivusa, Riven and Sky in general here. Just a wee bit. If you're really miffed abt that, don't read this methinks. I'm sorry don't cyberbully me, this is just a thought dump. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine.)

This is q long + all over the place bc I couldn’t categorise this into a proper list

Why do more people like Riven?

Like ofc ik there are ppl who dislike Riven (myself included, until i decided i liked him derogotarily) but there are MANY hardcore fans for Riven. He's arguably the most popular specialist imo

But I feel a disproportionate amt of ppl dislike Sky? Or have just general negative feelings about him. I really wonder why is that

This might piss some ppl off but i think AS A RIVEN ENJOYER (derogotary) :

Ppl like Riven bc of his sad backstory??? Which might make his actions more forgivable to some people bc he's somebody you can kinda pity/feel for. He's a lil edgey/troublemaker too so that's more exciting

I think ppl also like Riven bc of his rs w Musa...bc they wanna root for them to resolve their problems and get back together

Ik ppl say they dislike the drama but man I feel the drama plays a part in the enjoyment for some ppl??? Bc if they liked the healthy rs best, they would have chosen Brandon/Stella or Tecna/Timmy or Aisha/Nabu to be their fave ship, but yet somehow Rivusa edges those out above all

Idk, or maybe they just like Musa and Riven as individual characters -> thus ship. I can't really vouch for that, bc I don't particularly like Musa... (im sorry Rus) However, I can understand the concept of wanting to ship charas together bc u like both charas individually (See: Brandon/Riven), so I can kinda see why?

TLDR I think Riven’s sympathetic backstory gives ppl more motivation to forgive him and see him as misunderstood character. That, in conjunction with his “bad boy” personality and rocky relationship with Musa adds to more people rooting for him.

Why do people dislike Sky?

Ok now back to Sky. Maybe its bc of that 3k tumblr essay i read on Sky, but I feel he's hated more than he deserves to be

Like, he's just a guy. He's just a dude.

Ironcially, I think this is a reason why ppl dislike him too. Bc he's so painfully generic as a protagonist, he just automatically gets disliked by most ppl. Kinda like why ppl dislike Bloom sometimes bc shes a protag

Another reason for the hate might be that Sky also has the biggest story presence among the specialists (only Riven comes close). Bc of his generic personality, I think ppl wished more spotlight was given to other specialists, and perceived that Sky was hogging up all the spotlight bc of his protag standing. This reasoning is kinda similar to why some ppl dislike Bloom once again.

I think another reason why is also his privilege + ignorance. He's the richest guy in the group bc of his royal status and has the most storylines/voice lines surrounding this background. His privilege is made super clear by the show. I can't really say whether the show portrayed his privilege in a uncritical light or not, but the fans probably didn't like that he was so obviously privileged.

I think this is a common trait Sky shares with Stella, who also has a lot of lines where she mentions her privileged lifestyle. Idk if ppl ignore Stella's privilege or not, but I think Sky gets a lot more flak for it compared to Stella? Fyi I DO like Stella, she’s my fave winx. I just theorise that Stella gets less flak for it bc she has a broken family + neglectful childhood.

Then again, Sky's family is possibly one of the worst in the show. So idk.

Also I feel like the show didn’t frame Sky particularly well. I’m pretty sure the rest of the guys are also q privileged in some way. Its just that Sky’s privilege is put at the forefront by the show, and that’s why so many ppl perceive him as that type of guy

Helia is literally Saladin’s grandson. Timmy’s family are some of the most esteemed inventors/scientists in Magix. Nabu’s family is exceptionally wealthy.  Brandon’s background is mostly a mystery, but I read on the Russian winx wiki that his parents are working for Sky's parents

 Another reason why I like the winx comics is that they explore this area. Helia literally gets placed to the captain position by Saladin in one comic. Even if its bc Saladin believes Helia is truly capable, many ppl (esp Riven) thinks its bc of nepotism, and I honestly can’t blame Riven for that. HOWEVER the comics does try to redeem Helia when he makes a big mistake, causing him to doubt his ability to lead and leave Red Fountain. In addition, he rejects help from his family and struggles to make ends meet during this period.

The show does try to do this for Sky, but they do it kinda poorly? The 2 instances I can think of is when he rejects Diaspro’s help in S1, and that scene in S4 where he rejects his father’s precious crystals at the pawn shop. (Except they completely undermined that scene when Riven is seen later trying to pay for their groceries with those same crystals, which means Sky took it in the end :,)). The scenes (esp esp the s4 one) almost feel a bit performative to me????

Anyway, I feel ppl are far less forgiving when a characters prominent flaw is privilege + ignorance. That’s reasonable, bc it just feels like a non-problem almost and is harder to relate to/feel bad for. BUT ALSO I feel like Sky shouldn’t be getting so much hate for it, bc its ultimately a flaw that’s completely circumstantial/out of his control. And this is coming from a person who dislikes Sky.

The last reason I can think of why ppl dislike Sky is his rs with Bloom, Diaspro and his jealousy issues.

We’ll talk about Diaspro first. Unlike many other ppl in the fandom...man I just kinda wanna get over the identity swap thing? I agree that Sky did not handle that well, but neither did Bloom. Idk, I just kinda wanna get over that “he didn’t apologise properly” for it part and let it go. Maybe its just me??????? I think he should have apologised too but not everyone can be Brandon, and I feel that moment got too harped upon. 

I also feel like he didn’t tell Bloom about Diaspro bc he thought that his rs w her wouldn’t matter bc he didnt love her. Evidently that’s not the case, but I feel that’s just his general ignorance? And I feel like he’s somewhat more conscious of Bloom’s disdain for Diaspro after that, which means he learnt from it.

Idk if ppl think this way, but I also feel Sky wasn’t undecisive in choosing whether he wanted to be with Diaspro or Bloom. He obviously loves Bloom, Diaspro and his parents are just in the way of that.

It might be overplayed, but I actually like the dilemma of him having to make the tough choice to choose. I think this is quite well put in Comic #15, where Sky is clearly sullen to meet Diaspro and her family again. He has already told his parents his choice, but his parents urge him to think about the consequences of his actions. Diaspro’s parents are very powerful, and marrying her would bring great prosperity to the kingdom he will inherit in the future. The stern line “You can’t only think for yourself.” from his mother right after he says “I wish people would stop telling me what to do.” is q a powerful moment. I really like that scene bc it better exemplifies the gravity of the situation compared to the show. Sky is just put on the spot with a very difficult decision to make as a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD. The choice of Bloom might as well not be an option with how much his parents passively pressure him

I also think he feels an obligation to be nice to Diaspro (parents aside) bc she’s his childhood friend. He probably struggles to be outright mean to her bc he has some lingering feelings of friendship towards her + she hasn’t done anything to harm him (until S3, at which point he just severs his rs with her)

I do think they could have handled the Diaspro plot better in the show, but that’s just the way it is. Diaspro herself is quite an interesting character, but I’m not gonna expand on that here. 

Ok time to address Sky’s jealousy. This man has been jealous of Avalon, Andy and a sentient Unicorn. This is the most valid reason to hate Sky imo, but I also feel jealousy is q a common feeling for ppl to have.

In certain scenarios his jealousy is also kinda valid? Like why is Bloom kissing Andy?????? Plus Stella encouraged Bloom to be more frisky with other men like im sorry but no pls don’t....(Though the way Sky tackled this jealousy was so bad....like he just paid attention to other women instead)

His anger at Avalon is also q ????, but I imagine part of it probably stems from the fact he thinks its a bit creepy that Avalon is being so close to Bloom (which is valid)

As for the unicorn, well...its confusing to say the least. In his defense, I don’t think he’s jealous, more of just pissed at Elas in general. If a godamn talking unicorn kept interrupting me and my girlfriend’s private time together, I would be pissed too. This unexpectedly counts as a valid one???????

Oh god am I really ending this heavy post on the unicorn topic?? Really?????

TLDR I think a culmination of all the factors above (being generic, privilege and ignorance, Diaspro, jealousy) amounted to Sky being greatly disliked by the fandom. And honestly I feel it’s the showrunners fault? 

But I also appreciate that Sky is a flawed character (even if the show implies he’s not). I wish the show explored more into the specialists’ flaws and life in general, Sky included. Winx in general is a show with a lot of untapped/wasted potential imo, which is a bit sad. But that paves the way for ppl to do it better, so I’ll make peace with that. 

Anyway, that’s my two cents on the matter. This ended up being a Sky defense post from a person who doesn’t care abt Sky, amazing. 

If you’ve managed to read this far, gold star for you. 

[mysunnylemonade]

insecurities | lee jeno

↳ pairing: lee jeno (nct) x fem!reader

↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard

↳ word count: 1482

↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)

song recommendation: met a girl by tarune

♡

Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.

Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.

You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.

You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.

You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.

As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.

You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.

You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.

"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"

Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?

You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"

You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."

You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."

You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."

He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."

You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.

Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.

"Tell me," he muttered softly.

Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."

Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"

"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."

Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"

Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"

His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"

"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."

"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."

"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."

His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."

Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.

Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"

You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."

He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"

Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."

"Lee Jeno!"

♡

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[swynlake-spill]

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go 

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR 

@rikuxnakayama sir  i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST 

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT 

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js 

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy 

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it 

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile 

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go  🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words... 

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :) 

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed 

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously! 

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!! 

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying. 

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free. 

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park! 

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!! 

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously! 

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it! 

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know. 

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!! 

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell. 

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please) 

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram! 

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

[irene-sadler]

Sir Reynard and the Red Knight

(aka 'The Tournament')

special notes:

the vibe i chose for this imaginary fair/holiday is a mashup of pieces from medieval christmas and new year's eve celebrations. ofc as I mentioned before most of those were Christianity-based, but some of them had a distintly pre-Christian Anglo-Saxon pagan flavor. now my source material here is from 1827, but the author makes sure to let us know which traditions (he thinks) are older than Christianity. the book (books actually, there's 3 of them total) itself is also kind of a fun read, it's sort of a combo of an almanac/calendar/reference guide/gossip column.

a n y w a y, so, specifically i want to mention (b/c i stole them for this story and i don't want to do that without letting ppl know these are or were real traditions that real people observed) serving a boars' head on christmas day (Essex, England, observed "from time immemorial"), the wassail bowl/toast (a new year custom very definitely from before Christianity and apparently present in various parts of Europe altho I don't have the specific expertise to explain why), and an interesting/weird/gruesome Christmas parade (Kent) which the book describes: "A party of young people procure the head of a dead horse, which is affixed to a pole about four feet in length, a string is tied to the lower jaw, a horse cloth is then attached to the whole, under which one of the party gets, and by frequently pulling the string keeps up a loud snapping noise." This is called a Hodening and whether or not ppl still do it I don't know but, uh, i hope so b/c awesome.

also theres only 1 chapter left if u stuck with it this whole time or, idk, it's 2024 and u read the whole thing at once thanks for bothering love u

----

9.

     “Yes, hello,” Gascon said, pretending not to notice Meve’s displeasure. “Good afternoon, ladies,” he added, as the Baroness and Giselle turned to look curiously down at where he stood in the shadows. The Baroness frowned and pursed her lips judiciously; Giselle considered him and glanced uncertainly at the older women.

    “Anyway,” he continued, an edge of urgency buried in his easy tone, “Do you have a minute to spare?”

    “No,” the Queen said stiffly, turning back toward the empty lists. “I’m busy; whatever it is will have to wait until later.”

    “Oh,” he replied, growing very faintly annoyed, “Because it’s about that thing you wanted last night; just thought you’d be interested t’ know I’ve done it.”

    She hesitated, ignoring the Baroness’s raised eyebrow and Giselle’s uncomfortable confusion, struggled momentarily between curiosity and base pettiness, and finally said, “Yes, fine; I have a few minutes, I suppose.”

    “Fifteen minutes,” the Baroness said, pointedly.

    “No time to waste, then,” said Gascon; he winked at Giselle, who took her cue from the Baroness and frowned disapprovingly back at him, and they hurried off.

    “So, what is it, then?” Meve asked bluntly, as they turned into the town’s streets at a rapid stroll. “I assume you’ve caught the saboteur, else you wouldn’t have bothered me.”

    “Well, I caught Gaheris; he may be the saboteur, or may not,” Gascon said, disregarding her tone. “Gaspar thinks he is, though, and he’s th’ only one who saw th’ intruder close up last night, so odds are good he’s your man.”

    “Really?” She abandoned her moodiness in favor of mild surprise, and then asked, “When did this happen?”

    “Oh, only about an hour ago. Less, even. Seemed like there was no real need for a public scene, so I just had him snatched off the street and, you know - stashed somewhere convenient,” Gascon explained, leading the way down an alley and into a butcher. The owner nodded and smiled to him as he passed through the door and headed toward the back, spotted the Queen, and instantly looked away at nothing in particular. Pug and Gaspar waited in the yard behind the shop, standing guard over a man with a bag on his head and a bandage around his left ankle. Gascon nodded at Pug and she yanked the bag away; Gaheris squinted in the light and surveyed his surroundings - two large, brightly interested pigs in a pen, his sinister pair of captors, and, finally, Meve and Gascon. He sighed.

    “Got ‘im in one piece, as you wanted,” Pug announced in her gruff voice; a dubious claim, as Gaheris had a black eye and a split lip, but Gascon nodded approvingly and jerked his thumb over his shoulder, toward the shop.

    “Wait inside for a bit,” he said; Pug and Gaspar departed, leaving their captive to his deserved fate.

    “Now, sir,” Meve said briskly to Gaheris; if she had any doubts about his culpability, she kept them firmly to herself. “Let’s not waste time with falsehoods or denials.”        

    “No,” he said, resignedly, “Doesn’t seem to be much point in trying.”

    “Quite. So, explain what it is you’ve been up to, then.”

    “Start with last night,” Gascon added, as the squire took a few too many seconds to think it over. “Hurry up.”

    “Ah, well. I was trying to get hold of a piece of equipment I knew was among Sir Odo’s things in the barn,” he said. “The girth from a saddle.”

    “Continue,” the Queen said, as he paused, clearly thinking the question answered.

    “Well, obviously I didn’t get it, since that - that thug sliced my ankle t’ the bone when I tried. Seems the girth held up, though, regardless, through today; probably because Sir Odo don’t take many hits, luckily for him.”

    “No, it’s because I found it last night and changed it out for a new one,” Gascon said, angrily. “You’re the one who cut it, are you?”

    Gaheris nodded.

    “I knew it,” the Duke muttered; Meve waved his self-congratulatory comment away, scowling.

    “When did you do it?”

    “Oh, a month ago, or more,” he said. “Just before the duel against Sir Holt.”

    “Why?”

    He blinked at the question and said, as if it was obvious, “Because Sir Holt told me to, in hopes he’d win.”

    “You did a bad job, then,” Gascon snapped; Gaheris looked mildly offended.

    “No,” he said. “No, I didn’t. The girth held, did it not? Sir Odo won - or, well he could have, if he’d wanted to.”

    He looked at his interrogators’ baffled stares, and then explained, patiently, “Look - I cut through the leather, left just enough to hold a strain for a good while, glued it so it’d look like nothing, and told Holt I’d done what he wanted. Simple. I just didn’t have the chance to get it back, after the fight; too many people hanging around who might’ve seen me. If I had done, nobody would have been the wiser.”

    Meve stared at him, torn between confusion and anger, opened her mouth, and closed it again as an echo of distant horns bounced off the buildings.

    “Damn,” she said. “I have to go. Gascon, find Sir Holt.”

    “What should I do with him?” he asked, as she turned to leave; she hesitated, considered her options, and came to a hasty decision.

    “Just keep tabs on him, don’t let him leave town, and - and we’ll sort this mess out, later.”

    “You’ll find him in the tavern, no doubt,” Gaheris said wearily to Gascon, as she quickly departed.

      She nearly ran back through the streets, but she was still late; she returned to the lists to find the Baroness had started the final round without her. However, she she was in time to see Nolda avoid an immediate defeat by the same method she had used on Sir Eres, but Reynard survived her trick, when his fellow knight hadn’t. She nodded in satisfaction at the display.

    “Your man is a quick study, as he’s always been,” said the Baroness, as if Meve had never been away. The next pass involved no deceptions from either side, nor any displays of brilliance; Nolda blocked an ordinary sort of attack on her shield, and never touched Sir Odo.

    “He’s testing the waters,” Meve said, slightly bored with her favorite’s typically cautious tactics. “How long have they been at it?”

    “You only missed one pass; the foreigner’s better at this than I expected.”

    “She’s tricky,” Giselle noted, appreciatively. “What’s the Count doing, there?”

    There was a short pause; Meve glanced downfield and answered, “Oh, he wants a different lance, I imagine.”

    The delay took a full half minute, due to some confusion on Ethan’s part; the Baroness mumbled a displeased remark about the squire’s ineptitude, and then the combat began again.

    “He wants to make up for Nolda’s left-handedness,” the Baroness explained, louder, “That’s what the long spear is for. Most people don’t learn to fight the way she does -”

    She broke off; Reynard’s change of weapon had answered, and he had dealt a strike that had nearly unseated his opponent; she managed to stay in the saddle by luck or skill and they lined up again.

    “He has her figured out; this’ll be th’ end of it,” said Meve. The Baroness nodded agreement. Giselle looked unconvinced, but, in the end, Reynard landed a direct attack to his opponent’s helm and Nolda crashed to earth at long last.

    “A devilishly difficult play,” the Baroness said, in the silence that followed. “Dangerous, too.”

    Reynard had turned to look behind himself, before his horse had even reached the end of the barricade; Nolda lay still on the ground for a few moments, and then, as her husband vaulted the fence and came running toward her, stirred and sat up. She waved an irritated hand at Bohault and Reynard, who had trotted back and dropped from his horse as soon as he was rid of his lance, but neither paid attention to her gestures or her repeated insistence that she was perfectly fine. The crowd’s general din returned, drowning out their conversation; Meve breathed a relieved sigh and reluctantly turned her thoughts back to Gaheris and Sir Holt, and then - she frowned slightly - Gascon’s mysterious absence during the day.

    “Pity you can’t make her a knight,” Giselle said, of Nolda, interrupting her consideration; Meve’s frown grew thoughtful.

    “A knight,” she repeated to herself, under her breath, watching the muddle on the field break up - Reynard back to his horse, Bohault and Nolda to hers - a vague connection, or suspicion, growing in the back of her mind. She turned abruptly to the Baroness, interrupted an ongoing reminisce on the handful of times she’d seen another knight employ a tactic similar to Reynard’s winning strike, and said, “Listen, Hilde - the black knight; do you know who he is?”

    The Baroness hesitated, slightly confused, and replied, choosing her words carefully, “I believe so, but - wasn’t that what you and the Duke spoke about?”

    “No,” the Queen said, disgruntled. “No, it wasn’t.”      

    “Ah,” she said, looking away toward the approaching victors, “Well, perhaps you should. Count Odo, congratulations on another victory; well fought, Nolda. My lord, you’ve won quite a fine horse, I believe, and you, madam, a sword. They’ll be bringing them along shortly.”

      Any personal urgency she felt to finally sort out her ongoing affairs was wasted; the prizes took very little time to hand out, but a number of unrelated problems were brought to her individual attention as soon as the victors rode away. She sent Giselle back to her tavern with genuine gratitude for her service, dealt out various solutions, and then at last she and the Baroness set off toward the castle. The streets of the city were packed, twilight was setting in, and there was no way to hurry their progress no matter how their guard tried. A wagon that had lost a wheel blocked the way, first, and then a succession of other disruptions: a traveling comedic play about a sorcerer and some maidens, some cows wandering loose in the street, a troupe of drunken minstrels playing festive tunes, a strange procession led by a solemn youth holding a freshly cut horse’s head mounted on a pole as a banner, a group of offended clerics in its wake, handcarts selling buns and ale, and, finally, on the bridge over the castle moat, an armored knight still on his charger, who would not be shifted by man or beast until Meve stepped out of the torchlit crowd and threatened to remove him herself.

    Then there was yet another feast, this time held in the hall and attended by more of the usual crowd - but, of course, with the horde of knights and sundry that had participated in the jousts, somewhat more of them than normal. There were the typical, expected customs - a boar’s head served, bowls of spiced ale passed around, a number of favors and pardons bestowed, gifts received (and given; Count Odo, for one, courteously gave the warhorse he’d won earlier in the day to Nolda, who accepted it in a fiercely embarrassed but otherwise gracious fashion) - and various other ancient rituals observed.

    “I would’ve asked if you thought giving her the horse was a good idea,” Reynard said privately to the Queen, during the Mayor’s inevitable remarks, “But I didn’t catch you in time. If I’m honest it’s less a gift and more a bribe, of a sort; Ethan’s left-handed, same as her, and I thought it might make it easier to convince her to teach him.”

    “There were some delays getting back,” she replied, also in an undertone, her eyes resolutely fixed on the speaker as he recited a hopeful list of future developments for the upcoming year. “This whole afternoon’s been nothing but delays, in fact.”

    “I’ll tell you about it later,” she added, quickly, as the speech ended, aimed a quick but pointed glance at the distant Gascon, who immediately slipped out a side door, and then dismissed the court in the exact words she’d recited for ten years, and, before her, her late husband, and his father, and their distant grandfathers, for all of remembered history.

      Finally getting rid of her guests took much longer than the traditional close to the winter solstice did. As a result, it was past midnight before she made the solitary climb up the stairs to her office, looking forward to finally having a quiet minute to think. However, Reynard and Gascon - and Gaheris - were within, despite the late hour; the squire stopped in the middle of a sentence and all three men automatically turned her way when she stepped through the door. She waved an impatient hand at him to continue and leaned against her own desk, hiding her weariness behind a cold stare. Gaheris returned to repeating his confession; Reynard listened in silence, his expression drifting subtly between offense and genuine confusion. At the end, he frowned and asked, “You - pretended to sabotage my equipment? Why? Why not do it properly, I mean?”

    The squire shrugged.

    “It’s - listen; before I go on, you should know Holt’s an ass, and a stubborn one at that. Yes, I see you’ve all noticed. Well, I couldn’t dissuade him when th’ idea came into his fool head, but I’d no wish t’ see him win a fight by such a trick, against such an obviously superior opponent. It’s not right, and, also, would be easily seen through. What I did seemed the simplest solution.”

    “You could have refused,” Reynard pointed out; Gaheris smiled pityingly at him and shook his head. His response drew an exasperated comment from Meve.

    “You could have done nothing at all, and told him otherwise.”

    He frowned, again mildly offended.

    “I’m no liar,” he said. “If I can find any other solution, I mean. They say a half-truth’s better than a lie, don’t they?”

     Reynard blinked, considered, and then shook his head. Gascon shrugged his shoulders, grudgingly.

    “You’re clearly a capable man,” Meve said. “Why do you serve someone you know isn’t?”

    Gaheris shook his head again, helplessly.

    “Holt’s always been like this,” he explained, “Ever since he was a boy. He’s a decent fighter, but he’s too competitive for his own good, and he’s still not learned t’ pick his battles. However, he is my little brother - well, half-brother; my mother married Sir Ulrich after my father died. He was a stonemason,” he explained, seeing the Queen raise a questioning eyebrow, a gleam of challenge in his dark eyes. “His name was Gors.”

    When she failed to react to his admission, he continued:

    “Anyway, she wanted me t’ look after Holt, best I can. He isn’t a bad person, really, he just -”

    He shrugged.

    “He can’t help how he is, when he’s in a mood, and when he isn’t he’s not the worst of men, or the worst of nobles, for that matter. He’s never struck a knight who’s yielded, for one, and he’s not one to steal or run villainous among th’ yeomen. And, he’s all the family I got left,” he finally finished. Meve nodded and said nothing for a long moment; she noticed that he couldn’t have been any older than herself, but he briefly appeared gray and worn down. She was, to her mild irritation, somewhat sympathetic to his troubles. Gascon glanced from her icy frown to Gaheris’s tired stare, curiously. Reynard watched her carefully.

    “Keep him under guard,” she said to Gascon. “I’m not sure what to do with him or his brother, just yet. Wait - leave him on the landing; the guards there will look after him for the moment. I’ve another matter to discuss, before you go.”

      “He’s the black knight,” she said to Reynard, as Gascon stepped back in without his captive. “Did you know?”

    “No, of course not,” the Count said, frowning slightly. “Although, in truth, th’ idea has crossed my mind, but I found it - unlikely.”

    Gascon hesitated, then shrugged, grinned broadly, and said, “You caught me at last, m’lady; how’d you figure it?”

    “The Baroness it was that discovered you, not me,” Meve said, crossing her arms stubbornly; she attempted to appear angry, but in the end managed only mild, slightly amused, annoyance. “Also, she appears to have found me out, as well, incidentally. In fact, there seems to be very little she doesn’t know.”

    “She’s uncommonly sharp, no doubt about it,” Gascon agreed, readily.

    “So,” she continued, “Is there anything at all to be gained by asking you what you were doing, today?”

    “Won’t tell you unless you first promise not t’ bite my head off,” he said promptly.

    “Yes, very well, as it’s the solstice, but don’t expect any more favors from me before the summer, at earliest. I mean it, Gascon.”

    Reynard sat down, shaking his head at them; Gascon nodded and said, “Fair’s fair. Well, then, it’s a short tale: I won that fight against Sir Holt, then I saw Gaheris come limping ‘round to scrape him up off the turf, and it all came together clear as mud, so I decided it was time t’ stop playing at knights for the day and do some real work.”

    “You could have appeared in the joust as yourself,” Reynard remarked, almost idly, “And not as -”

    “As me,” Meve interrupted, a hint of her previous ire returning.

    “Yes, well - the black knight’s more interesting than I am,” he explained, with a broad shrug. “People have heard of his prowess, or what have you; the dangerous reputation’s an advantage, of sorts.”

    “Yes, we’ve heard, in fact,” Meve said, coldly. “Slew a werewolf, did you?”

    “Sure did,” Gascon replied. “Or, I helped, anyhow. There was a witcher involved. Like Gaheris said: half a truth’s better than a lie, so I let the former take precedence.”

    “That’s not the saying, as you know perfectly well. It’s worse,” Reynard said, rolling his eyes. “Half a truth is worse than a lie.”

    Gascon shrugged at him, grinning slightly. Meve interrupted their tangent, impatiently.

    “And you killed a dragon, they say?”

    “Not I,” the Duke said, quickly, eyeing the Queen’s scowl. “Th’ only dragonslayer here is yourself - although, I did kill a pretty big snake in a roadside inn. The landlady was most impressed. So was some minstrel who happened t’ be around, it appears; he has, uh, embellished th’ incident, somewhat.”

    “Yes, that much is obvious,” Reynard noted, “But how’d he know it was the black knight who did the deed and not merely one Gascon Brossard?”

    At last, Gascon turned uncomfortably self-conscious and clammed up; Meve watched him squirm for a long moment and decided, after a glance at the amused gleam in Reynard’s eye, to not to press the issue further.

    “And you gave poor Sir Orlac a dunking,” she remarked, finally; Gascon looked relieved and seized on the change in subject.

    “Yes, that story’s true,” he admitted. “He’s not a bad fighter, at all, thought he don’t seem to enjoy it much. It took some convincing t’ even get him to go against me, actually, but it was worth the time, in th’ end, to get th’ extra practice.”

    “You have improved, somewhat,” Reynard observed, casually. He shot a quick look at Meve; she spotted it and broke off her intended response, frowning. Gascon either missed or ignored their exchange and said, brightly, “Why thank you, sir.”

    “Although,” the knight continued, “It remains to be seen if you can beat me just yet; Meve, of course, has already unhorsed you once, so no there’s burning question to be answered on that account.”

    “By a trick,” Gascon said, and then, as Reynard shrugged unconcernedly, added, “Look, I only really wanted t’ fight Sir Holt and beat him, again, to prove I could, like. I had no notion of much else.”

    “Yes, very likely,” Meve muttered, rolling her eyes; Reynard continued, despite her:

    “Not afraid to lose, are you?”

    “Of course not; it happens all the time,” Gascon said, mildly indignant.

    “Well, then, tomorrow, if you’ve no other plans, let’s see how good you’ve really become, shall we? Without your intimidating disguise, I mean.”

    “Well, all right,” the Duke said, doubtfully, clearly wary about what exactly he was agreeing to. “I suppose I’m not busy, but - “

    “Good. I’ll see you first thing in the morning, then,” Reynard said, a suggestion of finality in his voice; Gascon still looked uncertain, but nodded and then made a tactical retreat to “see to those other matters.”

    “What the devil are you at, Reynard?” Meve asked, the instant he was gone. He stood up, strode across the room with a self-satisfied smile, and wrapped his arms around her.

    “You’ve had a long day,” he said, “Let me worry about it.”

    “Ugh. Fine, then; do what you want,” she said, ingraciously, leaned her forehead against his chest, and continued with a muffled sigh, “What do you think I should do with Holt? I can’t very well banish him for trying to cheat in a duel, much as I’d like to - he is the sole legal heir to Sir Ulrich, who has been a relatively loyal supporter of the crown - nor can I demote him, since he isn’t one of my own knights.”

    “Just ban him from your tournaments, and the rest of the realm will follow,” he said, as if it was obvious, “It’s the worst thing that could happen to a young knight.”

    “You’d know better than I,” she remarked, unfolded her arms, slid them around his waist, and added, “What about Gaheris?”

    “I don’t know,” Reynard said, “He’s not so easy to deal with.”

    “The trouble is,” Meve said, darkly, “- the trouble is that, in his circumstances, he’s done nothing worse than you or I have in the past, which makes me feel something of a hypocrite if I consider having him arrested for treason - as I certainly could, given your indispensable position and high rank.”

    “Yes, a - a similar thought crossed my own mind, to be honest.”

    “Well, it’s true,” she said, raising her head and frowning up at him. “Isn’t it? Reginald -”

    “He wasn’t quite so bad as Holt.”

    “Because he was older, and the King, and no other reason. Well, and he had you around to clean up after his worst decisions. And, his sons - my sons - are the same, or worse, than Sir Holt. Or were, I mean. Anseis certainly is, in any case.”

    “Perhaps,” Reynard said, thoughtfully, “There’s no need to do anything to Gaheris, at all.”

    “As you’re th’ one he wronged, in th’ end I think what happens to him should really be your decision,” Meve said, shrugging.

    “Well, then, speaking from experience, the man’s trials in keeping control of his brother are worse than anything you might think up.”

    “Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve no wish to see him hang or rot in prison, but banishment would be no curse to him, and we’d have to contend with Holt still, regardless, but without a convenient manager. What a waste; were he noble-born, I’d have some use for a man of his talents, and I could more easily secure his future loyalty. A shame, to have Holt be th’ one who inherits old Ulrich’s lands and titles, and Gaheris remain a squire still.”

    “I agree,” Reynard said. “However, that problem only you can solve.”

    She looked into his eyes, thoughtfully, and nodded.

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

Rough translation of Miracle Queen dialogue (sorry if I missed something).

The ep starts with Marinette saying that one Has to always be ready

Then Hawkmoth gives Chloe the miraculous box and orders her to use it “reasonably”

Then Chloe orders the wasps to sting everyone

Marinette monoluges offscreen while ppl get stung about love and sacrifice, and finding your own destiny (I kind of do not like the sudden narration they introduced in the finale)

Marinette pulls away from Luka and says she doesn’t know why she acted like that. He asks if she’s okay and she says yes, thank you. Then she asks if he has found the perfect melody. He says yes and asks if she wants to listen. Marinette hesitates, and Luka asks if she’s thinking about Adrien.

Then the wasps come, Luka protects Marinette, she cries “oh no not them again”, Tikki time to hide, and then she transforms and jumps into the river.

Adrien pushes Kagami away and babbles “no, yes, no”. He thought things would be different (either he thinks about her “not like that” or he thought he would feel different about kissing her).

Kagami asks if he doesn’t feel good in her company, and he says that he feels good, but “it seems he’s not ready”. Kagami asks when will he be ready and when he doesn’t answer she says his hesitance hurts her. Then the wasps come. Kagami cries “No” and pushes him out of the way.

Adrien runs [and apparently Andree the ice cream man now knows Chat’s identity, because Adrien jumps into the river BEFORE the bridge xD] and transforms

Chloe: Ppl of Paris, listen to the first order of the Miracle Queen. And then she outs other miraculous holders (HOLY CRAP) – she says that previous miraculous holders should come to her – and only those who have wielded a miraculous come! [“talisman” is apparently a miraculous in Ukrainian dub]

 ***

Hawkmoth: you won’t hide anything from me

Then Chloe comments on who comes – “nerd Max”, pseudo reporter, dj tupac. What did Ladybug think choosing you?! Ah, and Kim, I could have expected that.

Luka joins them. Chloe: I don’t know him but he must take his clothes from a dumster (trashy clothes)

Kagami comes. Chloe: Oh, no, not her. This is a ridiculous choice. Simply ridiculous. But oh well, take your miraculouses.

Nino and Kagami do not take a miraculous. Hawkmoth is surprised – “why won’t they take a miraculous”? Chloe: ah, prolly they were stupid and lost their miraculous.

Hawkmoth: they lost them or someone else has them (spoiler alert – they’re not – Master Fu has turtle, LB has dragon)

Chloe orders those who has the miraculous to transform, then says they’re her royal guard now. “Ladybug, Chat Noir, I will use your armor/weapon to destroy you. You will regret you didn’t want me anymore.”

 ***

Hawkmoth joins Mayura on the roof. “It’s time to deal with the old fool”.

Mayura: faints.

Hawkmoth: Mayura.

Mayura: I’m fine lol

Hawkmoth: I never wanted this to be part of my plan. I’m sorry, but I need you again.

Mayura: don’t guilt yourself. From the first day I knew I’d do anything for you [WHAAAAA???] She summons the sentimonster. They tell it to destroy the shield.

 ***

LB and CN meet under water. CN asks who has the dragon miraculous now, but LB says she didn’t give it to anyone yet.

LB: Master FU is missing, I’m sure something bad happened to him.

CN: checks, UR right LB, Hawkmoth has Fu trapped and he has the miraculouses. That’s a catastrophe

LB: That’s my fault. I didn’t detransform when I went to him. Cry cry

CN: Hey, we need to get to master Fu, before the sentimonster ruins the shield. That’s something only Ladybug can do

LB: hugs him. Thank you Chat, you always have help me

CN: always LB

LB: already has a plan. First we go after Miracle Queen to get other holders out of her control, then we go after Mayura and Hawkmoth to free master Fu. But first we need to deal with the wasps, if they sting us, all is over.

CN: we’ll do what we can

LB: we can do more! activates dragon miraculous

CN: no, it’s dangerous, you’ve already used the water power

LB: we have no choice

Longg: I’m ready to fight Ladybug!

They get out of water, drop the water power, LB joins dragon and ladybug, then summons water dragon to push away the wasps.

Chloe: Ladybug!

LB: It’s Dragonbug for you!

 ***

Hawkmoth: More power won’t help you. In a few moments the shield will be down and I will make the guardian to tell me your identities.

Master fu: Don’t listen to him. You are strong enough to deal with this. Just work together.

Chat and LB: we can do this. As always.

CN to HM: you don’t scare us. We’re a team.

LB: it’s not your lucky day, Hawkmoth.

HM: Time to act my Queen

Chloe: Fight them my minions

LB: Snake is the most dangerous. Take care of him Chat

Chat holds him still.

LN: seems like you’re locked, but I’m not. Takes away Luka’s bracelet. [SMART GIRL]

Chloe: loser

LB: Chat Noir, your turn. Throws him the snake miraculous.

Chat: Sass, Plagg, merge!

Chat: Dragonbug, it’s an illusion.

Kim:  makes LB’s yoyo useless.

LB: No. Wasps: sting sting

Chat: second chance. Dragonbug, it’s a mirage. Second chance [You get it now, right?]

Chat: Dragonbug, a hole – there!

Chloe: Haha, pitiful. You really think I- gets the frog in da face. Puff the wasps go.

LB: Long, Tikki, divide.

CN: Sass, Plagg, divide.

LB: Time to deevilize. Bbye butterfly

 ***

CN: See, it’s not your day, Hawkmoth

Hawkmoth: AHA

LB: Hawkmoth is our enemy, Chloe. We can’t allow him to have the miraculous box.

Chloe: I won’t talk to you. How many times have I asked you for my miraculous, huh? Hawkmoth is not my enemy, but yours. And the miraculous box is MINE!

LB: Chloe, don’t do this.

Chloe: Watch me, I’m gonna become the mightiest miraculous holder in the history.

HM: Hahaha, I don’t need more proof. I knew you were one of us, Chloe Bourgeois.

Chloe: Hahaha, what ru waiting for, transform me now!

Kwamis: You don’t know our names. And you haven’t said the right words either. And you could ask nicely.

Chloe: I’m your queen. Miracle Queen. I order you to tell me what I have to do next!

Hawkmoth: You can’t do anything. I already won. The shield will fall and the guardian will be in my hands. Your friends won’t help you. You’re alone now. Check mate, Ladybug!

LB: I have one more move, Hawkmoth. Lucky Charm! A charm? What am I supposed to do with it?

HM: Hahahaha, you won’t do anything, my plan is perfect. You can’t stop me.

LB: I don’t have any ideas.

CN: Think, you can do everything!

LB: Sorry, I don’t know what to do. I put mastrer Fu in this position.

CN:  Ladybug, no.

LB: It’s because of me Hawkmoth took the miraculous box. I’m the worst Ladybug ever.

Fu: Ladybug, you’re the best miraculous holder I’ve ever met. Yes, you’ve made a mistake. But you fixed it with your actions.

LB: But I don’t know what to do, Master

Fu: You have all the keys and you will become the greatest guardian.

HM: WHAT?

Kwamis: Master, No! Don’t do this!

Fu: I renounce the miraculous box and declare Ladybug the next guardian!

HM: No!

Chloe: No! That’s my box, mine! I’m the guardian, I’m the Queen. Hawkmoth, do something!

HM:  I’m disappointed. (runs away with Mayura)

CN: I will go after them, you go after the box.

LB: Sorry, Chloe, but this belongs to me.

Chloe: I don’t need your stupid miraculous. You’ll see, and Paris will see. I’m going to leave for New York with my mom, and I’m going to be the only owner of the comb. Without you and your stupid losers you call friends.

LB: Sorry, Chloe, but I can’t let you do that.

Chloe: oh yeah? Well, I don’t like you anymore Ladybug. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as me!

CN: Sorry, I couldn’t find them

 ***

LB: Master Fu, Master Fu, wake up!

Gabriel: Oh, my Nathalie. I’m so sorry. I lost again and you used up all your strength. For nothing.

Nathalie: No, not for nothing, the previous guardian had the miraculous book deciphered, now we can fix the peacock miraculous.

 ***

LB: Master Fu?

Fu: these are nice costumes. Who are you?

CN: he lost his memory?

Wayzz: That’s the fate of guardians once they renounce the box. All their personal memories were kept in the miraculous.

LB: It’s okay, we’re your friends, sir.

Fu: Ah, nice to meet you!

Wayzz: Good luck, Master.

CN: Wait, you haven’t cast the cure yet!

LB: Miraculous Ladybug! Master Fu do you remember me now?

Fu: Sorry to disappoint, miss, but I see you for the first time in my life.

CN: The thing that happened to him was because of Chloe.

LB: My cure didn’t change anything.

Fu: It’s a shame you threw away such a nice charm, I’d use it for my key. Here.

 ***

Chloe: Mom, I expect Jean Something to finish packing our suitcases, we’re leaving now! Wha?

Andre: Your mom changed her mind.

Audrey: It was a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

Andre: Ah, my queen!

Chloe: Yuk, that’s disgusting. I order you to fight again!

 ***

Marinette reading Fu’s letter: When we grow up, we find out that life doesn’t always give us what we expected. I’d like to tell you everything myself, but if you’re reading this, it means I’ve lost my memory. You don’t have to be scared or sad, as I’ve learned at the beginning of my way loss is just a part of life. But it’s not important that life doesn’t give us what we expect. Because the biggest gift is the life itself.

 ***

Fu: I see you for the first time, but my heart beats so quick as if I’ve always known you.

Marianne: You should always believe your heart [Gee, I wonder what LB would say to that…]

Marinette: A gift, for the travel.

Fu: Thank you, miss. I will never forget you.

 ***

At the bank, Fu’s voice: Even if life doesn’t give us what we expect, the biggest gift is life itself.

Luka: You okay?

Marinette: How’s that melody? Can I listen to it?

Luka: You want to listen?

Marinette: Mhm.

 ***

Gabriel holding the peacock miraculous in a gloved hand: Just as good as new.

THE END

***

Hope you enjoyed it! 

[incarnateirony]

Thing is, I once enjoyed your meta, was part of the "positivety police". But when you started attacking ppl who want more to see DeanCas as canon, I didn't understand your aggressivety. Nowadays, I only see the likes of you and Casgirlsam defending win*est, reblogging win*est, arguing how stupid Destiel shippers don't appreciate Win*est, even though it was the most famous ship or sth. Saying how everyone against it is just purity police. That's why no one takes you serious anymore. And it's sad

Oh look more bullshit. *looks high and low for anywhere i defend wincest*

*encourages my blog followers to look high and low for anywhere i defend wincest*

Oh you mean that time i told people to stop dogpiling a nonaggressive person in fandom minding her own fucking business while saying i dont like the ship but she doesn't deserve you being a bunch of thundercunts? That person who doesn't hang out with the aggressive shippers that attack people? Who literally was so respectful she didnt just tag everything but made a side account for her squick ship so others didn't have to see it, and mysteriously you go out of your way to look at while claiming to hate and be triggered by it?

You seem to be confusing "thinking you have no right to relentlessly assault someone in their own space" with "defending a ship i have been extremely vocal against", and, in irony, you even can't control yourself while I'm flagging your IP and interactions enough to approach your ISP for service termination on its harassment clause.

By the way-- "positivity police" ends at me not accepting abusive cankers like YOU coming into MY space or speaking up when you get SO OUT OF HAND you negatively impact someone's mental state, which you show zero empathy for right now.

As if anyone from yeshims ring, who use that phrase, were ever friends of mine anyway.

The world is literally burning, people are dying by the hundreds of thousands, protests are worldwide, and you're online trying to manufacture drama. Given you at least stopped libeling the lgbt author with shit you made up here at least. Now try that for the other made up garbage. Find something constructive to do.

This is the last ask I'll actually respond to from you, statcounter quantifies engagements you send even if I don't reply and I'm not gonna clutter my blog with negativity you are DESPERATELY seeking platform with. I'm sure you'll cry POSITIVITY POLICE WAHHHHH for me not giving you that platform and taking up space on my blog that NEWS FLASH, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ANYWAY. People don't come to my blog to read made up drama bullshit. Traffic slow on yours, it seems. If you weren't insufferable maybe you'd have enough platform to make up shit and get the attention you're after on your own blog. Try it some time.

My blog is not a ship war blog. Get it through your thick head or I'll have your ISP get it through your head for you.

If you think not having free right to someone else's space for abuse is "positivity police" you have some deeper problems going on and definitely aren't welcome at my blog till you clean that shit up. My tolerance for abusive personalities are negative-nothing.

And no son. Someone defending their own space and voice firmly isn't abuse. That's the narrative an abuser tries to spin, so lemme head you off there. I can and will drag you folks that wanna be big and bad @ me. You're used to getting away with it on other blogs with other personalities. I have been trialed by real life events that make these pitiful attempts laughable. Deal with it.

Get over yourselves. You're an anon nobody. I'm not gonna get on the lgbt history deletion train because some anon coward wants to spam my inbox. I will not go down on that wrong side of history. I am not part of your ship war hype you are mapping out in anon all the ways you are addicted to the war, not the content. To the attention, not the value. That aint this blog.

This behavior even looks ridiculous to most people in highschool. And i don't know about you, but i graduated high school a LONG fucking time ago. Actually more than an entire K-12 over again ago. This is not a blog for children; not because i post explicit content, which I don't, but because it's centered on discourse of politics, theology, history and yes, bodies of text. Not bored kids who can't figure out how to be constructive and spend their entire day fabricating nonsense to flatter themselves with digital pissing matches. I spend my days phone banking and fundraising for dozens of progressive organizations to liberate people but please, go off that your random nonsense that you literally make up is somehow woke.

That's not to say people under 18 aren't allowed at all. Again, i have no explicit content. Some people under 18 are mature. That is not what I'm calling children. I'm calling people that act like children, children. And i don't care if they're 22 when they do it.

[hordakin]

On the Subject of Hordak, His Parallels with Catra, His Bond with Entrapta, and the Possibility of Him Getting a Redemption Arc

Obviously this is a subject of MUCH controversy within the Spop fandom, and I'm probably just going to stir up even more issues, but the aforementioned things are subjects i find INCREDIBLY fascinating and dammit I want to talk about it, because as usual (almost*) everyone else is glancing over it and not giving it all the in depth analysis it deserves.

Just a preface, my 'screenshots' are probably going to be absolutely hideous because I do not have the time nor the resources to get high quality ones--sooo I'm just taking pictures with my phone!

I'm no good at keeping my posts organized, so please forgive any other messiness as well--I'm hyperfixated and filled with frantic energy.

Lets start out simply with the Juiciest meat on the bone--Hordak's Could-Be Redemption Arc!

This is the topic that has the most people in a tizzy--for completely valid reasons, to be fair! Hordak, as of right now, is a horrible person. There's no skirting over it, there's no sugar coating it, he's a grade A piece of shit manipulative dictator, and things he's done are unforgivable.

What joy it is, then, that being forgiven has absolutely nothing to do with redemption!!!

Redemption is about changing your ways, and doing what you can to FIX or make up for the villainous things you've done--NOT being forgiven for them, which is what seems to be the hang up for a lot of people who are against the idea of a Hordak redemption arc, the people who don't like his sympathetic backstory.

I've seen more than a few posts of people Screaming in fury, proclaiming their anguish and disgust that the writers are trying to make them """forgive""" Hordak, when.... That's. Literally not what the writers are doing. They are just giving a character a backstory and human characteristics. So he'll be relatable. You know, like characters in media are SUPPOSED to be. Funny how that works, right?

Anyway, his frustrates me immensely, especially when these are the same people still pushing for a Catra redemption arc (to be fair, i am still one of those people too, but her choices in the last season have severely lowered my enthusiasm and hopes for it. There’s a long, tiring road ahead of her, as well as for us as an audience, if she is going to be redeemed at all). It frustrates me because of Hordak and Catra's lifestory parallels. These people act as if they are leagues different, when they really... Really aren't. If Catra still deserves redemption because she was abused into thinking the way she does, then so does Hordak, because he was obviously abused too.

The way I see it, Catra is like... A younger Hordak. Hordak right before and during Prime discovering his defects and sending him off to die. For a lot of season 1 and 2, she was in her prime in regards to her standing as a member of the Horde. She became force captain, and she did her work well, just as Hordak had once been Horde Prime's top general--but then they showed some kind of weakness, some kind of incompetence, and then they were cast away;

And it doesn't even stop there! Because right after being exiled, guess what they both do? They take over and begin to Rule the local denizens of the place they were exiled to--Hordak forms the Etherian Horde, and Catra takes one look at the Crimson Waste gangs and says "My City Now".

The main differences I see between Hordak and Catra are, Firstly, their friendships. The bonds they've formed (and broken) during the series (as well as if/how they changed them).

Hordak --

Total number of friends, past and present: 2 or 3 (Entrapta and Imp, 3 if you count Emily)

How much he values them: given his tract record of abandoning and belittling people, he doesn't belittle or mistreat Entrapta or Imp, in fact openly showing affection for/praising both of them rather openly--which is to say, he must value them a lot.

How he treats them: like i said up there--with open praise, affection, and respect. He takes care to never actually harm or yell at them in a way that targets them--when he yells or snaps, its not because hes mad at them, its because of something else. On top of that, he keeps it limited--he does not go on rants. He shouts his bit, takes a breath, then turns around and asks them to leave. Which is something i guarantee EVERY person on the face of the earth has done before. Ppl lose their tempers, it's normal, and does NOT make them abusive.

Catra --

Total number of friends, past and present: 6 or 8 (Adora, Lonnie, Kyle, Rogelio, Scorpia, Entrapta, and 8 if you count Kyle 2 and her four armed Lizard friend)

How much she values them: this is tough one. Clearly, her main priority is Adora--shes Catra's endgame Bestie, the person she really WANTS to be friends with the most. She puts effort into her relationship with Adora. Second comes Scorpia--Scorpia is very slowly weaseling her way into Catra's heart, and it shows, especially on this last season. Catra starts to show more vulnerability around her, and they have more emotionally charged interactions, that clearly have a positive impact on Catra. Catra is BEGGINING to put effort into her friendship with Scorpia, but it is a s l o w process. Everyone else.... Catra frankly couldn't give less of a shit about. They're an ontourage to her, not friends. But they see her as their friend. She doesn't put any effort there--everyone else does.

How she treats them: just like i said above again. She doesn't not care about most of her relationships. She fixates on one or two, and leaves the others in the dust until she has a use for them, because she doesn't see them as friends, she sees them as lackeys.

Secondly, another difference is their motivations and the choices they make because of them.

While they were both originally seeking recognition and praise from their superiors--Hordak trying to take over Etheria for Horde Prime to prove he's still useful despite his defects, and Catra...:

And then, after that, the Shadow Weaver issue comes to Catra’s attention, and Catra’s Motivation shifts COMPLETELY, because she hasn’t been given the time she needs to heal and let go of that portion of her baggage.

--I’m losing shitloads of eloquently worded paragraphs sharing my points over and over again so I’ve moved to desktop now because i am NOT giving up on sharing this, let me try again, sorry if it suddenly feels offtrack, i swear the connections are still there--

Now that their current motivations are in play, let’s talk about how their CHOICES (and their friendships) tell us which of them is more ripely suited to a redemption arc at this point in the series.

Hordak makes a friend. This is most likely the first friend he has EVER truly had, but they make it work, because they have similar interests and there is no sense of hierarchy between them--She is very clearly not afraid of him, and he is long past trying to make her afraid. She doesn’t push him to be better, no--She thinks he’s fine the way he is. She has no desire to ‘fix him’, because she doesn’t see anything wrong with him being a ‘bad guy’. However, I will say that (albeit unintentionally) she is... Gently nudging him towards being neutral. Hordak’s goal since day one has been to contact Horde Prime, because he likely had been brainwashed or indoctrinated to believe that there WAS no other option than to do so. Seek approval, and nothing else. “For the Horde” and nothing else. Because he hasn’t fully realized... That Horde Prime can’t touch him. He’s like... A young adult, who just moved out of his parents house--You know the posts! He’d become so accustomed to the lifestyle he had before, that now when he goes shopping and thinks “Hey I want ice cream for breakfast tomorrow!” he deflates and walks on to the veggies aisle because of the parental voice telling him “You can’t have ice cream for breakfast” in his head, but now... The parent isn’t there. He CAN have ice cream for breakfast, it just hasn’t hit him yet. Then, Entrapta shows up. “For science!” she says, and Hordak probably quirks his eyebrow, because she is odd, and thats an odd thing to say--but that, right there, is the little thing that starts to help him realize that, ‘hey.... Horde Prime isn’t here. I can do anything I want!’ And tat Anything can easily include turning around and becoming a better person.

Catra makes a new friend. Catra has had many friends before, at least one of which she cared about VERY deeply, who has since then left and moved on to other friends. She tried to get Catra to follow her to the better, healthier side of life that she’s found, to make friends with the other people too--but Catra refused, and it would not be a stretch to say it was because of jealousy/possessive feelings. Catra is like that toxic friend who lurks on the social media of someone who’s cut them off, simultaneous seething with anger and looking for reasons to hate them, while also vying for the chance to be friends with them again, and go back to the way things ‘used to be’. Now, she has that new friend, who cares about her just as much if not MORE than the last friend did--she sees how Catra wallows in self pity and negative emotions over the last friend, and how unhappy it’s really making her. Scorpia wants to help her move past that--to live her life free from the reigns of her past, and to embrace the happiness that other, new parts of life can give her. But Catra. Doesn’t. Listen. She doesn’t care. She sees the possibility of happiness, dips her toes into it (Crimson Waste party), but then decides “No, I don’t want this. I’d rather be spiteful. I’d rather be vengeful. I’d rather be unhappy, and I want everyone else to be unhappy too.”

People get so mad that Hordak is a trying to take over Etheria, trying to RULE over everyone on it--They call him ‘genocidal’ even though, by definition, he’s literally not--and demand that people admit how bad he is because of it, as if we weren’t already. Yet... The only people I see condemning Catra for doing something SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE for just as selfish a reason, is most notably NOT those people demanding we condemn Hordak left and right. The hypocrisy is extremely thick in this fandom right now--let’s leave it at that.

Point is; As of right now in canon, Catra is LITERALLY a worse person than Hordak, and when you really look at their actions, it’s easy to see that there are many more realistic and easy ways for Hordak to be redeemed than their are for Catra, and that’s the fuckin’ tea!

[kaoarika]

I dunno if ppl remember, but a year ago (okay, almost a year ago) I wrote a post regarding “Favorite Part” that I’m pretty sure only a few handle of ppl may have actually read my entire rambling at the time. However, my post appears in the first pages of Google when you do a search (in English, with specific terms, though), and hah... hah... 

So, it’s almost endgame for the series (the series seem to end in two weeks from today, Sep 11, 2019?!)! And I somehow thought, “yeah, let’s do this once more and WITH FEELING!”

I still consider this series criminally overlooked in the English netisphere, ngl. 

Kinda a shame, because, the series has an interesting story and premise, and has also a pretty interesting cast of characters that you see their growth... reminding you they aren’t perfect, that they will keep tripping, and somehow keep moving on to improve themselves.

I don’t want this post to be just.. .that, an update from that old post I did last year... however, I want to sell you this one again, because... as it happens, I may have had some of my facts wrong due to the language barriers and what not... most of my feelings remain the same and that’s good, although... I think this deserves a better improved writing post from my side.

*cough*

“Favorite Part” (좋아하는 부분), authored by Tarli (or Tarly), is a story about So Woojoo, a woman who lacks self-esteem, and who happens to have some “extreme” taste in men. She tends to fall for guys with a pretty gorgeous face, and while this isn’t a bad thing, for a woman who is overweight like her, whose self-esteem is in the floor, and who doesn’t have friends to be her “voice of reason”... this might fall in an (sometimes unhealthy) obsession level for her.

Because that’s the only kind of love she might know. And things doesn’t get any prettier from there. It’s a long road for Woojoo to learn that the path she approached wasn’t the best she could have.

Let me be clear about something though. I’m pretty sure that you will all hate Woojoo at the start. Especilly during the first ten chapters (that are kind of a prologue). Given her reasons, the way she “loves” is a very pitiful one, where other guys would step on her, and she would be glad to be stepped on, too.

She isn’t a yandere... or a stalker, let me be also clear on this. But it leads into a very toxic relationship with Kwon (?) Minwoo, someone who is rumored to be a jerk with women, he sleeps around with them, and takes some advantage of them. 

When she finally “breaks up” with him, she is helped by a barista by the name of Kang Hanbyeol, because he couldn’t see her being treated as garbage. They eventually start a friendship, and he has some crush over her. He is practically the only friend Woojoo has (and he is 2 or 3 years her junior; Woojoo is 23, while Hanbyeol is 20... point: he never refers to her as “noona”).

This is as far as spoilers I can go with this post, further stuff I may write and do outside this one are not spoiler-free at all, btw.

Turning a “new leaf” is not going to be easy for these characters. They are not perfect and they are not fully likeable either, but trust me you want to root for them as long as the story goes. As mentioned above, it’s an emotional rollercoaster.

I think I still root for “Favorite Part” because my first impression of it went over my expectations. I was probably expecting one of those stories where, once realizing things end wrong, the MC will change immediately after the fact - for fat and overweight female characters (most all of the time), they lose weight as a way to “improve” or “revenge”... but... WELL, this isn’t that kind of expectable (or “fun”/lighthearted) “glow up” story. 

Woojoo may have some negative aspects as a fat character, and I still wish there were more series with a main overweight female character which main goal isn’t to lose weight as a way to learn self-respect... and it’s a long road for that, that’s for sure. I just hope... in an if scenario, she wouldn’t do it to “earn” self-respect, but more of a way where she finds comfortable enough to decide to do it or not... not as a direct response of that.

There’s a certain male who first appears overweight, though. And NOT ONCE he is treated as a joke, either. Sure, he seems to love to eat and what not... but not as a joke, I promise you. Also rare to see in dramas and what not... similar to Yachae in Park Subong’s “Veggie Hot Bun School Spring Holiday”.

How is its availability in English? WELL, you see... I don’t think it’s impossible for the U.S Line Webtoon branch to pick this series up in the future (and they have picked up some series from their Korean parent company somewhat late), however, I suppose the markets are different and the U.S.’ site is simply more pushing forward to their western creators (other international LINE sites have picked it up, however... ).

SO, last month I found out that at least someone is doing a fan translation of it in English! It’s not perfect per se, and at times it feels wonky, but I believe it has been improving as far as a I have seen, and hopefully this can bring to more people talk about it ;)

Even though it’s still in the first chapters, the road towards more an emotional rollercoaster is a long one, but, hey! Let’s enjoy this road together for the time being (and NOW I CAN FINALLY SHARE MY PAIN OVER THESE CHARACTERS WITH YOU, MWA HAH HAH).

HOPEFULLY the first 3 chapters... 5...  don’t turn you off to read it. I promise you, this is a nice emotional rollercoaster... You are going to suffer, you are going to get happy at times... but it’s a great one.

As I have also said before, this webtoon is also receiving a drama adaptation, although, tbh...? Would they be able to replicate the power that has the original source? (and I have expressed my frustrations over it before)

The series might be ending in late September 2019 in South Korea (as that’s the last public chapter release), but there’s lots of stuff I wish I could talk about it after it finishes.

Links to its ENG scanlation in Mangadex

[comicteaparty]

September 2nd-September 8th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from September 2nd, 2019 to September 8th, 2019.  The chat focused on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Home is a Distant Wish by Jurinova~! (https://tapas.io/series/hiadw)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until September 8th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Given many of the characters deal with some sort of trauma, whose trauma stands out to you the most? What do you think the comic can show us in regards to how we deal with trauma in real life?(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think the Keld Ores can be trusted, or was Angelo right about him being dangerous? Why do you think Mute is sheltering him, and what consequences will the others face for bringing him to Mute?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Who do you think Roara is accused of having killed, and what does this have to do with her ex? How do you think she wound up friends with Cane, and what do you think her role in the story will be now that she’s free?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably the couch scene where Angelo and Kipu were getting intimate. It was nice to see this sort of character development since it was a stark contrast to how everything started. And I liked just how concrete it was despite both being kind of unsure where to take things. A lot of respect going around and just overall, the scene gave me warm fuzzies and gave me hope they could both have actual relationships with other ppl despite trauma. 2) I think Roara's trauma is what stood out the most to me. While only some people have to ever deal with the sort of physical issues like part of what Kipu suffers, I think everyone has been in some position to Roara's, at least on the level of being accussed of something they didn't do and being punished for it. That can be hardcore emotional trauma. In regards to what the comic can show us about dealing with trauma, I think that everyone handles it differently. Some people need revenge (even if that's not the healthiest), some people need time, some people need hugs, some people just want to be left alone, etc. Trauma manifests differently for everyone, and some people just handle it better than others. So ya gotta have patience and an open mind to spot it.

3) My favorite character is definitely Kipu. I like the concept that Kipu has to speak through text in short statements to convey whatever Kipu is trying to say. And I like to see how that, gestures, and other stuff are integrated to create a character who, while on the quieter side, can be just as vocal and opinionated as anyone else. Plus, I've enjoyed Kipu's backstory so far the most, cause Kipu strikes me as the most sympathetic so far.

4) I think Ores is kind of in between. Like I don't think Ores will randomly go murder hobo and is a nice person. But do I believe Ores is dangerous and is willing to kill to protect certain people's lives over others? Damn straight I do. Ores, regardless of the niceness, seems to have an agenda, and people will agenda's are generally gonn do some bad things in the name of those agendas. Mute...I'm gonna be honest. I get the impression Mute was paid to shelter Ores, but also secretly supports whatever it is Ores is trying to achieve. And I think this will come bite Mute in the butt when people come for Ores and probably destroy everything Mute has tried to build because desperation and murder don't mix well.

5) My favorite illustration so far is probably this city scape https://tapas.io/episode/1188947 I love the muted color scheme so that there can be glowing highlights, expressing the nightlife atmosphere that is taking over the city. I also love the variety in building shapes going on, cause it gives the place a lot of character as well. 6) I got the impression Roara was accused of killing her ex, perhaps by someone she knew and who had enough power to get away with it. And given it's her ex, Roara of course was prime suspect and its one of those cases where the police shrugged and didnt bother looking for anyone else. Given Roara's personality, I feel like she took pity on Cane when Cane first showed up at the prison and just kind of mother henned/big sistered herself in there out of pity. And then that pity turned to a lot of love and care to want to protect Cane who seemes kind of innocence. As for her future role, I get the impression she's gonna be on the wrong side of the law cause she seems like she'd go where Cane goes, and Cane is probably gonna switch side at the rate the flashbacks are going. XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think the Keld are attacking people and causing destructive and deadly incidents? What does this have to do what the senators are doing that is supposedly very risky?

Attila Polyák

Finally I got around to reading a comic here... 1, Llama alien family visit! The entire visit there is just so wholesome, even though they are clearly in a rather rough situation. And they are soo adorable. 2, There's a... I'd prefer not to. So with the first part of the question unceremoniously skipped. People are different. Their circumstances, good and bad, are also different. It's no surprise that people react to the same event(s) differently. People can, and most often do, try to understand each other but seeing and understanding how someone else deals with negativity in general in life is very iffy. You are not them, you might on an intellectual level understand that something really bad happened to them, but without their experiences and way of thinking... The best you can do is try which I guess doesn't sound too promising, but it's still a lot better than being left in the darkness. 3, Kipu. He's awesome! His way of communicating, his backstory (or what we know about it so far), his choice of clothes. Everything about him is just so intriguing. I'm looking forward to learning more about his past the most. 4, I think Ores is dangerous, but despite that he can still be trusted. He feels like someone who can go to extreme lengths for what he believes in. And I think This is the reason why Mute shelters him. Their longer term goals I feel are not the same, but I also think those goals might align one way or another.

snuffysam

1) I agree with @RebelVampire - the scene where Angelo and Kipu are opening up to each other is my favorite. It's just beautiful to see how far they've come since the start of the story! For the record, that's also my answer to (7). Angelo is of course a sass-master to Kipu, but it's the moments where Kipu returns fire that really sell the relationship. For 6) - while I agree Roara probably became friends with Cane because she wanted to protect him, I also get the impression that she has also been bailed out by Cane a couple times. Perhaps she tangled with someone too big for her and Cane had her back?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What do you think Angelo/Kilene’s relationship with Prince is, and what exactly is Prince trying to protect Angelo/Kilene from? What is Angelo/Kilene’s story in general, and what is the patch showcased several times in the story?

RebelVampire

7) I definitely enjoy seeing Kipu and Angelo interact the most. Once again, I really like the development that goes with their relationship as they find common bonds despite basically despising each other beginning. And character growth is fun to watch. 8) I get the impression that the Keld know what the senators are up to and are trying to get people's attention and stop it. And people only pay attention when things get crappy, or something like that. As for what the senators are doing, I'm not entirely sure. Although I'm sure it's very illegal whatever it is, probably gonna chop down some liberties. Maybe they're secretly genociding the Keld or something like that. Either way, don't trust politicians.

9) I really love some of the details for the world building. For example, how different species have different naming structures. It's just one of those nice little details that really makes a species feel like a different species that developed its own non-earth culture. And it's details like these a lot of people neglect since they aren't always that important. Still, it's really great to see and adds some depth to the world. 10) I get the impression that Angelo and Prince dated before and had a mutual split. Maybe due to potential family pressures. That or they're brothers. One of the two. Either way they give off the vibe they were close and known each other for years. I get the impression that Angelo ran away though, and Prince is protecting Angelo from the repercussions from that. As for Angelo's story in general, maybe a rich kid, got into drugs, had health issues, rebelled against family. He strikes me very much as the type to have rebelled against everyone cause he didn't want to fit anybody's mold.

Attila Polyák

5, The funeral sequence is probably my favorite illustration (as morbid as that sounds). https://tapas.io/episode/522887 Just not just shows how funeral ceremonies are held, but also how important that death was in the earlier parts of the comic. The page not just looks great but also enhances previous pages by giving extra context. It's both beautiful in a grandiose way and plot important. 6, I absolutely agree with @RebelVampire about Roara. I think she's accused of killing her ex, however that couldn't be further from the truth. As for Cane. I just feel like he's a person who's willing to listen (pun absolutely intended, sorry I'm a bad person). Most people wouldn't want to be associated with someone who killed a significant other, Cane, however, I feel like not just listened to her, but believed her, and thus their friendship was formed.(edited)

Attila Polyák

7, That's a bit odd. I'm not really much of a fan of Angelo, yet whenever he interacts with literally anyone it's just... I donno, somehow charming and interesting. 8, When I read the talk about the risky stuff the senators are doing I for some reason almost immediately jumped to the conclusion that they are trying to build the Sybil System from Psychopass or something very similar. I think it's rather understandable why some would be against a system that judges you for stuff you didn't do and makes your most important life decisions instead of you (not that there are no advantages to a system like that but you know... the downsides are also obvious).  Aaaand... While I have no rational reason to expect this to be the case, I still do and I also have a feeling that the Kled know about this somehow and are trying to prevent it. Probably one of their leaders was scouted for this plan and this leader said no. Thus the Kled had an opportunity to know about what's going to happen and they believed it, but the rest of the world didn't and that's because of a simple reason: The senat obviously has power, possibly enough to turn the truth into a ridiculed rumor.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think happened to Kipu and Naia, especially given they both have severe physical trauma? Overall, what do you think will be the consequences of Kipu and Cane/Naia reuiniting for everyone else in the story?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Now that Prince is free to pursue Ores, what do you think will happen to Nkapu and the rest of the crew? Will they be able to get out of the situation, or will their deeds catch up to them? In general, where do you think the story goes from here?

Attila Polyák

9, What stuck me most is how architecture looks. Yes it's futuristic as it's expected to be, but different locations, cities, villages in different places look well... Different. 10, I have the feeling that they were together in the past, both from a relatively wealthy background, but Angelo somehow thumbled down the social ladder around the same time when they broke up. Ultimately I feel like the two are unrelated, and Prince is still trying to support Angelo one way or another. 11, The scenery is gorgeous. Especially the colors during sunset/sunrise. Really eye catching. Actually... Not just the landscapes, but backgrounds in general are really well drawn and just good to look at. 12, I'm really unsure, but I have a feeling the connected events in their past happened while Kipu was attending the academy. 13, Kipu's backstory. I usually am a sucker for good backstories, but since his seems to conenct to the rest of the story in multiple different points I'm genuinely curious how both his relationships and the past events turn out. 14, In short I feel Prince will successfully go after Ores and a confrontation seems to be inevitable. However I'm really unsure as to the extent of this confrontation. Like... Mute is ultimately not just the captain of a ship, but basically the leader of a small city. We clearly see that Prince is in command of a lot of people, but Mute and co also seem to be a more than just a few and while they are not as well equipped as Prince. At this point I feel like the real question is, how much is Ores worth and how far are they willing to go to get him.

RebelVampire

11) In my opinion the strength is probably the mesh between world and characters. When it comes to world-building, that can be an intense process. The more you develop, the more the "character" of the world can be to overshadow the actual characters. However, this comic finds a great balanced between being detailed yet having the story strictly remain about the character's and their struggles. Which creates an all around better reading experience. 12) Honestly, Kipu and Naia probably got into a war since ya know, that's kind of what they're training for. And no one expects war to be as shit as it usually turns out to be. So probably big devastating battle where everyone was scattered and everyone was just assumed dead. As for consequences about them reunited, I don't think any of Kipu's friends will care, but I think it's gonna be a big deal for Roara. She doesn't strike me as the trusting kind of person.

13) I am actually looking forward to seeing where Angelo goes from here since the comic pulled a red herring and Kipu's group is more or less probably gonna ditch Angelo now (since most never liked Angelo anyway). So I want to see what Angelo's role will transform to be now. 14) Everybody is screwed. That is what's going to happen. Things will come to a head cause Mute's group, and by association Nkapu's group, don't send a chance even if the might be able to runaway for a while. And I think this will drive Ores into a corner and cause much destruction and feelings of regret.

Jurinova

Hey, author of HiaDW here! Just wanted to drop by and say that reading all these comments has been wonderful and very insightful! It's interesting to see how different people read different characters and situations, not to mention how spot on some of the analysis were. Thank you so much to all who read the comic and commented!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Home is a Distant Wish this week! Please also give a special thank you to Jurinova for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Home is a Distant Wish, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/hiadw

Jurinova’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jurinova

Jurinova’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/jurinova

Jurinova’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/jurisaur

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1

I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.

-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!

Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.

Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)

It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.

Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!

The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.

This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!

-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):

The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.

The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!

-Akito, the pitiful woman:

Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:

No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.

Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.

she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.

Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.

Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.

She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.

she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?

It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!!  Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he?  perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.

Side notes:

Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.

Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.

Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew! 

Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance. 

Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!

Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!

Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?

Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!

There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~

Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!

Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!

The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!

The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD

look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!

oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.

[that-whatever]

so i found this in my drafts

i was gonna flush it out but now i think ill just post it as is, its my thought of how each of the vox machina gang reacted to the quote from bard lament (or at least one of that set) where vax said “He's family, and family leaves’  idk it just hit me hard in that moment how each one of the vm group could really relate to that, it gets longer with each member (as this was me sort of in character ranting at 3am) and its missing pike, again i planned on flushing this out but its been ages now, so, 

Keylet - her mom, left without a proper goodbye, on bad days hopes shes dead, at least that way it wasn't her choice, on better days that shes kidnapped and tortured, if she's alive out there shell have to exp a pain she doesn't want of abandonment and rejection she knows its wrong she does but if she finds out she's been out there all these years, never returning on her own volition, she doesn't know what she’d do

Percy - lost enough ppl to make him feel sick at night, a large family of parents, siblings, children god they were children he’s surrounded by loss but what hurts more than anything is that he left he left his sister to the fucking wolves to die even unknowingly he abandoned her, left her. the emotions he's plagued with and he consciously does it every day, she's breaking at the seam overloaded and overwhelmed with work, running a city he should be carrying, its the least he could do he tells himself she has more preparation for this, but he's not too sure that helps him feel better shes stopped asking him to come back to help her after his constant rejections, but he can see the pleading in her dark circles and graying hair he left her then, and he's done it every day since. out with his friends while his sister lies trapped in her castle with no knight in sight

Grog was never one for emotions, he's really only ever felt three, in his whole life, happy, angry and hungry, that's an emotion, right? Hell ask pike later. He hears vax and knows immediatley that its true, his herd left him bleeding out to die they walked away with his blood on their hands with not even a shred of doubt on their minds hes told keyleth once, and vax too at one point, that the herd isnt his family anymore, vox mochina is, and he believes that but he cant help but think its not all true, half of it is, he knows that much, vox mochina is his family, he fights harder hearing their war cries and strives to be better knowing they have his back, their blood runs through his viens, but he cant help thinking the other half isnt all true, no doubt its not all false either, but, part of him is still hung up on the herd leaving him all those years ago, when he fought kevdak, a large part of him wanted to knock him to the ground, to scream this is for all those years ago, look how ive grown see what ive become, better than I ever could be with you lot, the need to prove himself so inherent around the herd he almost forgot where he was, and no, they arent his family anymore, sometimes he thinks they never were, not family in the sense of what he knows it to be now, but it nags at him, they arent his family anymore but its still the tiniest bit painful, to look back on his old memories

Vax says it with an amount of resentment that surprises even him. when they went to live with their dad, vax was prepared to hate him, to push him away in favor of sticking by vex, so when they saw, truly, how despicable of a man he really was, vax couldn't help his apathy towards the situation grow, sure he was angry, but he found himself more angry that his father was so idiotic as to reject the love they had for him, that he wasn't even willing to open his arms to them, than anything else, it was him and vex against the world, always has been, what was the point of being bitter about some douchebag father. He's always known he was an emotional man though, far more than anyone else in his group, beyond Percy's brooding eyes and grogs dreadful lack of knowledge, he swears he heard him ask pike if hungry was an emotion the other day, and anyone who would dare call him cynical was just doing so based on stereotype, its not his fault he's inclined to wear all black and have a scorn on his face half the time, he's a hopeful guy, and he knows a lot of his dreams come from a place of hurt, he sits often and thinks of what he can hopefully have one day, the type of father he wants to be, to have kids who don't doubt for a second of his love for them, sick of hearing him say it all the time, supporting them through thick and thin growing a family so wonderful his heart is heavy with his contentment, waking up every day with a smile and tiny puffs of red hair tickling his chin,

Vex couldn't help the tears that fell at vax’s words, she's angry at Scanlan shes furious, he left them he knew what they've all been through and with a wound still fresh shes brought back to her pitiful excuse of a childhood, of a father she greeted with hope, who struck her down almost immediately, sparing no time to crush it down every chance he got, and even when her love for him depleted it never left, she wanted to prove herself to him, to gain his love pride and respect, never truly gaining it but always trying nonetheless. Anytime vax told her pleadingly to give it up she begged for one more day I can change his mind vax I'm sure of it. when they left she felt like a tree fell on her, she was drained exhausted from trying so hard and tired from having her emotions toyed with every waking minute, when they arrived back to their rightful home, to only be met with the smell of smoke, she cried harder than she ever thought possible, her entire childhood, every essense of her home, her mother her memories of being young all nothing but ash, she held vaxs hand as tight as she could, as if she could hold onto him so tight that the wretched rock of a planet they were standing on would stop spinning so fast for a few moments, let her catch her breath for a little while, that if she held on tight enough, he would squeeze back and neither would ever let go, this was it they were it, it was them two alone in the world they were all they had, their last hope an empty lot in a burned down town, she wondered how scanlan, who had lost people himself, could do this to them, put them through this, later she told herself if she truly believed that he knew what it was like to be abandoned, to do that to kaylie would be far worse than what he did, to give someone else the fatherless childhood he had, she and vax had, that would be far worse

Scanlan cant help but over hear him, he was only steps away from the door when vax opened his mouth, and scanlan cant help but smile a little looking over at kaylie, at his daughter, yes family leaves, god doesnt he know, but sometimes, sometimes they come back, they return and they love, he grips his daughters hand and they walk and he knows in his heart hes doing the right thing, months later, eating at a table far too big in a room far too small hes laughing with kaylie mouth wide and eyes streaming, for a second he listens as the table next to him goes into a story detailing the fight they saw at emon, his name comes up a few times but hes more innterested in the others, for the slightest of moments his smile falters and he leans farther down in his chair, but family returns, and maybe one day he will, on worse days when hes feeling more bitter he tells himself he shouldnt, its what they deserve, but he knows thats not true, in that moment he looks back up at kaylie, still reeling from his joke, rightfully so it was hilarious as all his jokes are, and his smile return full force, it was just the right thing to do, and he cant help feeling justified,

[fruitbattery]

I saw the MOST amazing production (open dress rehearsal) of falsettos the other night!

It was in a tiny theatre. TINY, black box style, <50 seats. we were RIGHT IN FRONT. it was amazing.

-the set was literally: 6 chairs, 10 boxes, a hospital bed -4 jews started as a sock puppet show from behind the boxes (except for Trina) and then they all popped up as they said their names -(the cast was all so pretty and i am so gay) -their Jason was a college age woman and I believed her wholly, she was so good -at the end of 4 jews, they posed like they were taking a family photo and then marvin got up and started singing tight knit family -for love is blind, marvin and whizzer were in the background reading, marvin was on a chair and whizzer on the floor leaning into him. it was cute.  -the transitions between songs required additional music a lot but that was ok -thrill of first love was??? so good? -whizzer pulled a silly pose at “i was trained in karate” it was great -they yelled the 9/10 months bit and the won’t/don’t bit -the fight choreo happened as whizzer stealing marvin’s scarf and them fighting over it -they ended up on the floor after whizzer pulled marvin in with the scarf and sat on his lap??? which i think is actually better than on the couch but ya know. sightlines are important i guess -can i just reiterate how good jason was like she was SO GOOD -throughout marvin at the psychiatrist, whizzer and trina had super visible but subtle reactions like eye rolling -for “my father’s a homo,” and for a lot of the show, jason sang right at the audience -he jumped on the table it was so cute! -trina’s indicating to whizzer behind jason’s back was NOT SUBTLE AT ALL there was no way the kid didn’t notice that -when the “late for dinner late again” section started, a strip of unexpected disco lights came on!!! it was great -trina belted “and still the bastard divorced me!!!!” and it made my night -I’M BREAKING DOWN WAS SO GOOD -she used the space a lot it was great; she covered the whole stage -she came onstage with a bunch of bananas and i heard someone behind me say “oh no” -she did eat a piece of banana but earlier in the song, before “you ask me is it fun to cry over nothing” -she made eye contact with my friend at “help me!!!!” and she DIED -she crushed pieces of banana in her hands so she had to wipe them on her apron before picking up the phone to call mendel -mendel answered with “yes this is mendel weisenbachfeld” like in the revival! -the disco lights came on for the final section of “feel alright for the rest of your life” -marriage proposal was simple and cute -”this is how you do a marriage proposal” and then jason went “GO” and shoved them together omg. then he ran off -tkf reprise was simple -at this point i am in love with the actress playing trina because she KILLS trina’s song. wow. -march of the falsettos was very jewish! they were all sitting on boxes, with scarves like tallitot, and prayer books covering their faces. simple box switching choreography -trina is wonderful -in the chess game it was SUPER clear that whizzer was mocking marvin in the 2nd verse. -he got up at “more’s the pity” -marvin got his suitcase immediately, then whizzer walked off sadly. he turned around when he was almost out to sing his part of the argument. “whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner” etc -in making a home they put a mezuzah on the door!!!!! !!!!!! -when they sang “yes we love the bed” mendel slapped her ass and she giggled -at the end they each sat down to read and froze for the games i play -omg whizzer was so good!!! -he started the song smiling like he was trying to make light of his situation but got serious fast -he made eye contact with me and i DIED -during marvin hits trina, trina just looked so DONE and ANNOYED during the beginning of i never wanted to love you, mendel was holding her and touched her face where she’d been slapped, and she told him stop, and he stopped. that was nice. -jason was practically screaming during that song and it was so heartbreaking -father to son has everyone crying. i could hear it. at the end, it was only jason who got up, and it looked like he was gonna leave marvin there alone, but then he went for the hug and we started crying more

act 2!!! -ppl laughed a lot at the weird woodwind/chime wiggle thing that happens in the intro music -mendel only had once flashlight and made it look like he was telling a ghost story when he said “homosexuals” which was really funny -PRETTY BOYS ARE IN DEMAND -charlotte and cordelia!!!!! holy fuck they were perfect!  -for the whee! woo! part they were all sitting on blocks. it was trina on mendel’s lap, whizzer, marvin, jason, cordelia on charlotte’s lap -JASON HAD SUCH FUNKY DANCE MOVES FOR YEAR OF THE CHILD -the whole audience knew what the words were it was glorious. i know because they laughed -mendel gave the spiel about how his own bar mitzvah was bad to marvin and trina rather than to jason, like he was convincing them not to have jason do it -during the beginning of miracle of judaism, jason was pulling on baseball clothes over his clothes and packing a backpack to take to a game -at one point he held the bat between his legs like a giant dick and sang “girls with whom i always wake up” -the baseball game!!!! was so similar to the revival version!! staging wise -marvin was SO touchy with whizzer’s hair and trina was so annoyed lmao -the actor playing whizzer had so much hair but they did the bald spot anyway -jason’s actor played caroline instead of cordelia’s, which i guess makes more sense if it works -she got angrier when she said “you always do this” -trina’s workout gear involved a leotard and leg warmers. when she came on people whistled (I think they were her irl friends) -it looked like they used actual gefilte fish for the nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine??? -whizzer was in tiny jean shorts to play tennis. so impractical honestly, all that chafing -instead of marvin collapsing and whizzer standing over him, they got really close to each other and almost kissed like 3 times. shit was cute. -i didn’t realize that in the original script jason wanders onstage during the last overlapping bit of a day in falsettoland and says “you guys are so white” but it was funny -when “i want the appelbaums” started, people laughed in recognition (i tell you boston is full of jews lmao. love it.) -mendel got up on a chair for his imitation of god, and stole the tablecloth to cover his head with -near the end of the song, mendel cleared a space for himself very dramatically, psyched himself up, and did the worst cartwheel i have ever seen. jason then did the same. -for what more can i say, they didn’t have a bed or anything resembling one, so marvin sat at the end of a row of 4 or 5 chairs and whizzer laid across them with his head in marvin’s lap -for the final “what more can i say” whizzer sat up and they gazed into each others’ eyes for a second -hoo boy here comes the pain train -charlotte and cordelia’s dynamic was a+ honestly. -tbh I know every word to this show and something bad is happening was still worrying and terrifying -in more raquetball, marvin was getting SUPER cocky. and then it all just went away when wizzer fell. heartbreaking. -in between something bad and holding to the ground, marvin helped whizzer over to dr charlotte and you could see him nonverbally insisting he was fine before collapsing onto her shoulder and allowing himself to be led away -trina’s performance in holding to the ground was phenomenal. so much emotion. marvelous and amazing. -i swear i heard sobs as the hospital bed came on -there was real chicken soup in cordelia’s tupperware!!! -jason set up the chess board fully after climbing onto the bed with whizzer, he then just packed it right back up again -mendel and trina in cancelling the bar mitzvah was just. lovely. and fucking sad too -unlikely lovers was SO TENDER i swear -when the lesbians showed up, marvin and whizzer were sitting there with their foreheads touching and marvin was almost in whizzer’s lap which was kind of an inversion??? idk it was great -just pure love -jason was so cute and innocent during another miracle. it was much needed. -then holy fuck -dr charlotte pulled marvin away for something bad reprise and she was crying. full on. she hit all the words and notes but shit. it got to me. -ok so you gotta die sometime is one of my favorite songs of all time. certainly my fave solo song to sing myself. -he nailed it. he was just so callous at the beginning morphing to fucking terrified at the end. it looked like if jason had come one second later he would’ve given up and died. -but there was a gap between it and the beginning of jason’s bar mitzvah still which was completely silent. pin drop silent. it was interesting -jason came in already in a suit -at “mendel get this thing in gear” the bed was rolled off and didn’t come back which must’ve been convenient -at “oh mummy” they actually kissed for a few seconds and trina looked,,, unamused -they all wore white kippot -at the end. oh god. -jason finished his torah and whizzer almost collapsed. mendel caught him. and jason just started sobbing. silently, but think harry-potter-after-sirius-fell-through-the-veil levels of despair. fuck it was sad. trina took him away. -the cast cleared the stage during the beginning of what would i do, but they left the “table” made of blocks that jason read torah on -marvin forgot the words so he substituted “once i was told that all men get what they deserve” for “god only knows too soon i’ll remember your faults” but it was ok -i swear the whole theatre started crying 2x as much when whizzer came out dressed like he had been -they circled each other unable to touch a few times. it killed me. -at the end, marvin put a rose that trina brought him on the table, now clearly a gravestone. then he cried into his family.  -jason was on stage after everyone had left. i knew about the chess piece but he also kissed his hand and touched the grave which is??? so jewish??? and so touching??? idk but it was terrible and horrible and ripped my heart out of its socket -after the final piano faded out you could hear how many people were sniffling.

in conclusion this was a monumental experience. we got to see backstage after because the music director, who invited us, is also the music director for our school’s musicals (fiddler this year!) i met the actress who played cordelia and she said she could tell i knew the show which probably meant i was unconsciously mouthing the words despite my best efforts not to.

ok thanks for reading this word vomit that my adhd detail oriented brain poured out.