#Or 'thing I need is like 10 mins back the way I came'
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I have such a love hate relationship w subnautica at this point like it's such a good game and I do adore it but every time I get to somewhere only to realise I'm missing something I need and have to backtrack 10 mins for materials I feel such rage and despair
#wastepaper basket#Like idk if I should just be taking more materials w me but like this game is very fun Until I hit the wall of 'can't find thing I need'#Or 'thing I need is like 10 mins back the way I came'#I swallowed my pride and looked up where I had to go after giving up months ago bc I was getting frustrated scouring the whole map#& it turned out I had the wrong idea about where I should have been searching & made like 1 wrong turn last time I'd been in the area lmao#So I'm less bothered about looking stuff up now but like taking my sub all the way down to the last [redacted] only to find out I need a key#Which is somewhere else I have to go find and also I don't have a material I need to make something so I need to go all the way back to#my FOURTH base which is the closest one and I already had to do multiple trips to even get that one set up.... it does get a bit tedious lol
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying
So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.
Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !
You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.
All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.
So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”
At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.
WHAT I MANIFESTED :
Desired body and face
Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly
And everything in my sub playlist
My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷
Moving countries I now live in ny
Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before
Extremely rich rich like hella bands
Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue
Plus +++
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!
YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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i was listening to “all to well” by taylor swift and the part where she sings “i still remember the first fall of snow” (pretty much verse 6) came on and i remember i had seen a nico rosberg x lewis hamilton edit to this song a few nights ago and i was wondering if you could do one where reader is nico’s sister and she dated lewis but they fell of because of the whole brocedes friendship fall out and the fans associate them with this specific song/verse .. basically brocedes situation but instead it’s reader x lewis (idk if all this makes sense lol)
DO YOU REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL?
PAIRINGS: lewis hamilton x rosberg sister!reader
TYPE: social media au
ynrosberg
liked by danielricciardo, nicorosberg and 645,927 others
ynrosberg: weekend photo dump or whatevaaa 🤷🏼♀️
tagged: @nicorosberg @danielricciardo
view 6,026 comments
user: omG i stiLL CaNnoT beliEVE MOTHER PULLED UP TO THE HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX AKAKD!!!!!
↳ user: apparently she only went to support danny bc she promised him that she’d show up to a race if he came back 😭
user: does anyone know if lewis and her interacted??!!?
user: gorgg 😍😍😍
zayn: 😍
↳ user: are they dating??
↳ user: zayn??? 👀 what are you doing here??
user: not nico using memes 💀 LMAOOO
↳ nicorosberg: it was actually a gif 😭
↳ user: pLease, this makes it 10x better
danielricciardo: ❤️❤️
user: still can’t believe mother pulled up and we didn’t get a single interaction with dad 😭😭
user: it’s the waY LEWIS WALKED BY HER WITHOUT SPARING HER A GLANCE 😭😭😭💔
↳ user: i cried when i saw that 😭😭 like why’d they show us?
user: so is everyone gonna ignore the last post?? 444?? 4’s??? who is associated with 4? lewis mf 44 hamilton?? hello?
user: lewis????
user: will forever hold on to the idea that they’ll get back together soon 😌
user: i love how everyone is bringing up lewis as if they didn’t end on bad terms lmao
fernandoalo_official: glad to see my spanish lessons taught you something 👍🏼
aussiegrit: it’s britney bitch
📌 pinned
user: not her pinning webber’s comment 💀
user: thE things i’d do to see a lewis comment or like 😩
user: just thinking about the fact that yn & lewis might’ve seen each other at the race but refused to interact w each other 😭
↳ user: they did:( and they ignored each other
user: can someone please tell me if her and lewis talked?
user: i just know they refused to look in each other’s directions
↳ user: stop 😭😭😭 you’re right, they didn’t 💔💔💔
user: 4?? lewis??
user: missing ynlewis hours 😓
user: ugh, she’s soo pretty 😍😍😍
user: how can one be this beautiful? 😩
ynrosberg
liked by sebastianvettel, kendalljenner and 610,749 others
ynrosberg: photo dump pt 2 🤪
view 5,146 comments
user: all too well 10 min ver. (taylor’s version)??? yes or yes??
↳ ynrosberg: always!!! 💗
user: LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS
user: 😍😍😍😍😍
zayn: thanks for the pic creds
↳ yourusername: yea yea
georgerussell63: i see my name 👀
user: i pray lewis and her will get back together
user: wishing for a ynlewis interaction 😩😩
↳ user: same, sis, same!
user: her smile in the third post 🥰
kendalljenner: 😍😍 beauty
↳ ynrosberg: mwahh 😘
user: when she listens to taylor swift >>
nicorosberg: never got my ice cream 😕
↳ ynrosberg: oops???
user: I REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL
user: i literally just saw a ynlewis edit to all too well!!! janskdnd
↳ user: SEND ME THE LINK, NOW
↳ user: ^ me too, please!!!
↳ user: wtF, iM crying 😭😭😭😭
user: i just need to know that her and lewis are on good terms, my mental health depends on this info
↳ user: hate to break it to you …. but ….
↳ user: they literally walked by each other TWICE during the hungarian gp and didn’t acknowledge each other 💔💔💔💔
user: does anyone know if lewis and yn are friends at least?
↳ user: girl??? they don’t even follow each other 🙂
user: she looks happy, he looks happy … they moved on .... maybe it’s time for us all to move on as well? 😔😔😔
↳ user: nO, i cant 😔 i rEfuse!!
user: who’s lewis??? and what does he have to do with yn and nico?? (i don’t mean to offend anyone, i just keep seeing so many comments regarding lewis … is he a driver like nico or??)
↳ user: long story short, lewis hamilton is a formula 1 driver (yes), him and nico used to be teammates .. they were pretty much fighting for the championship and in the process their friendship started to fall apart due to their rivalry and ig yn pushed lewis away after nico won and retired
↳ user: wasn’t it because lewis said he didn’t want distractions and wanted to focus on his career?
↳ user: tbh i’m not sure, they never really confirmed anything
lewishamilton
liked by georgerussell63, neymarjr and 784,837 others
lewishamilton: season so far ✌🏾
tagged: @georgerussell63 @fernandoalo_official
view 7,937 comments
user: ROSCOE!!!!
user: i wonder if roscoe misses mother as much as i do 😭
user: dad, please get back with mom!! 🙏🏼
user: my man everybody 😍😍😍
user: i heard from a friend that george “kidnapped” roscoe and took him to see yn
↳ user: wait wtf, are you being frr??? 😭😭 don’t play with me
↳ user: idk if it’s true
↳ user: i wonder how roscoe reacted when he saw yn, if he did
georgerussell63: roscoe 🥰
↳ lewishamilton: dognapper
↳ georgerussell63: i did it for the greater good:)
↳ user: wAit omgsksn does that mean he actually took roscoe to see yn or???? omg wkakalsk 🥺🥺🥺
user: he’s so fine 😩
fernandoalo_official: 😎
user: WAIT DID GEORGE REALLY TAKE ROSCOE TO GO SEE YN?? BC IF SOOO IMA CRY 😭😭😭😭
user: ya’ll remember when roscoe would pull up with both his parents to the paddock?? 😔 ahh, good old times
user: @sebastianvettel sebs, i need you to work your magic and reunite my parents, please
user: not getting over how they just walked past each other as if they didn’t spend 4 years together 💔
user: the fit 🔥
user: things that keep me up at night: brocedes & ynlewis
↳ user: ^ THIS!!!!
user: ya’ll ever thing about the what-if of ynlewis??
user: goat with a another goat (alonso) 🤩
user: they day yn and lewis reunite will be magical
user: missing the yn comments/likes 🥺🥺🥺
carlossainz55: 🤩🤩🤩
user: 7 years ago, ynlewis broke my heart 😭😭😭
↳ user: don’t forget brocedes 😭😭
↳ user: can’t believe it’s been 7 years, mate
user: i wonder if they privately talk, yk??
↳ user: never thought of that but i hope they do, tbh
sebastianvettel: ❤️
user: roscoe’s too adorable!! 🥺❤️
user: i know they’ll find their way to each other eventually
ynrosberg
liked by zayn, danielricciardo and 671,048 others
ynrosberg: life so far 💗 (p.s. happy 8 months, lover)
view 5,937 comments
user: mOTHER?????? who is that????
user: 8 months???? wtf?? hello?? since when???
user: what about lewis??!
user: looks like mother gave us another dad 😔
↳ user: lewis is MY dad, idcc … zayn can be my step dad
user: so you’re telling me lewis and yn getting back together won’t happen anytime soon?? 😭😭
zayn: ❤️
↳ user: wAIT!!!! ZAYN??!??? OMG MAKALANS I KNEW THE TATTOOS LOOKED FAMILIAR WHSLs
↳ user: one direction guy????
nicorosberg: cute
↳ ynrosberg: 😌
user: they’ve been together for 8 months?? 😮😮
user: it all makes sense, i just never connected the dots
user: this was not on my 2023 bingo card 😩
user: ngl but this is actually cute
danielricciardo: cats out the bag, yayyy 🥳
↳ user: YOU KNEW!/@/&/@/‘s
user: i wonder how lewis is feeling rn
↳ user: as if he cares
user: mom, what about dad?? 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
user: @lewishamilton
user: nooooOo i miss dad 😭😭
user: allbio984!;’al hepan huh?!?!@ what?&@“”
user: ig those rumors a few months ago were true
↳ user: which ones???
↳ user: they were seen together like 3 months ago and there were speculations that they were together but it was never confirmed until now 😭
user: i’m still at the restaurant with dad 😢😢😢
user: yn, you’re breaking my heart 💔💔 we want dad
user: scReaming and goiNg apeshit alapamcbh93&,!;@/
user: lewis officially lost her 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
user: i can’t believe this wtf
lewishamilton
liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 793,927 others
lewishamilton: all too well
view 7,947 comments
user: DAD IS QUOTING “ALL TOO WELL”
user: roscoe owns my heart, idcc 🥺🥺
user: you remember it all too well, huh? 🥺
user: ya’ll remember yn posted a photo dump a while ago and one of the pic was a “all too well” aesthetic and now he’s using it as his caption??? he definitely misses her 😭😭😭
user: “just between us do you remember it all too well” you remember, she remembers, we all remember 💔
user: dad, we know know you miss mom and uncle nico
↳ user: 😭😭😭 stopp
user: roscoe 🥰🥰🥰
user: mom’s got a new boyfriend
user: ynlewis/brocedes will forever be my roman empire
georgerussell63: roscoe’s such a cutie!
↳ user: idc if you have to break yn and zayn up but we NEED our og parents back, please 🙏🏼
user: they were THE COUPLE
user: she definitely haunts all his what-ifs 😭😭
↳ user: he should’ve married her when he had the chance
↳ user: will never get over him choosing his career over her
user: @ynrosberg
user: i miss them everyday 😩
user: i often think about how if brocedes never ended the way they did they would’ve been together, just maybe
↳ user: i think about this everyday 😩😩😩😩
↳ user: they would’ve been married and with a kid by now
maxverstappen1: have you been hitting the gym?
↳ lewishamilton: always
user: it’s never too late, don’t give up
↳ user: she’s with zayn
user: i still hold on to the possibility that they’ll get back together eventually
user: timing was wrong bc they were in different stages of their lives but i believe they’ll always be soulmates ❤️
user: why’d they break up??
↳ user: bc yn wanted a family and lewis was too focused on his career at the time, i guess
user: roscoe’s a child of divorce like us 😭😭
user: convinced myself that taylor wrote verse 6 about them in all too well (10 min ver)
user: i wonder if he ever gets deja vu when he sees her or viceversa
user: ynlewis keeps me up at night
user: we lost two amazing things 😔 ynlewis & brocedes
↳ user: we can all collectively agree it’s mercedes fault
ynrosberg
liked by nicorosberg, sebastianvettel and 710,019 others
ynrosberg: an adventure is about to begin 🥰
tagged: @zayn
view 6,984 comments
user: mother is becoming a mother??!? omg 😭😭
user: congratulations!!!
zayn: can’t wait for our little one ❤️
↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️❤️
user: im not crying, you are 😭
user: the fact that’s she’s becoming a mother 😭 w/o lewis
user: this could’ve been lewis
↳ user: if only 😔
sebastianvettel: happy for you, congrats! ❤️❤️
↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️
nicorosberg: can’t wait till i’m officially an uncle 😢
↳ ynrosberg: ilyyyy ❤️
danielricciardo: IM GONNA SPOIL THAT KID
aussiegrit: congrats, yn
↳ ynrosberg: 😊😊 thanks youuu
jensonbutton: ❤️❤️❤️ congrats
↳ ynrosberg: 🥰
fernandoalo_official: 🥳🥳🥳
georgerussell63: can i be the uncle too??
↳ ynrosberg: why not 🤪
user: AHHH IM SOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!
kendalljenner: congrats, my love 🥳❤️❤️❤️
user: im so happy for her but all i can think about is lewis
user: mom becoming a mom without dad 😭😭😭😭
user: ya’ll imagine if it would’ve been lewis 😩
user: her dream came true 😭😭
carmenmmundt: ahh congratulations 🥰🥰🥰
↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️
heidiberger__: congrats, beautiful 💗💗
↳ ynrosberg: 🥰🥰
lewishamilton: congratulations!
↳ ynrosberg: thank you!!
↳ user: i waS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS 😭😭😭😭
↳ user: why’d he have to do this??? 😭
↳ user: the way this could’ve been him
user: lewis commented omg 😢😢😢
↳ user: i just know he’s regretting everything
user: lewis 💔💔💔
user: i know dad’s crying over this cause so am i
user: we’re all child of divorce 😭😭😭
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#formula 1 smau#au instagram#formula 1#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fandom#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fiction#social media au#lewis hamilton x fem!reader#brocedes#smau#lewis hamilton social media au#f1#f1 x female reader#f1 lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton angst#formula 1 social media au#instagram au#formula one x reader#lewis hamilton x rosberg!reader#lh44#formula one#all too well
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Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader
Warning: 18+, NSFW, Slight submissive to dominant Miguel, Creampie, Penetration
Précis: You think you need someone older.
A/N: sorry i’ve been gone for a min , been going thru some things , but i’m back ❤️.
Edits & Look-overs: 3
It’s a Saturday morning.
The sun comes spilling in through the curtains, hitting your face. Your eyes begin to flutter as your body shifts and you roll over in bed. You’re just trying to get some rest after being swamped with papers at work causing you to pull a late shift last night. You’re utterly exhausted. You let out an exhale through your nose, curling up into a ball while your grip tightens and loosens on your pillow. You relaxed, practically sinking out of relaxation into your bed, until —
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Your restful state was interrupted by the loud and obnoxious beeps of a moving truck in reverse, or a big truck, at that. Is someone moving something? It sounded close by, too. You yawn and sit up, your eyes taking a couple moments to adjust to the light. You swing your legs out of bed walk over to your window and peer out of it, looking around. You spot a U-Haul backing into a driveway, the driveway of a house that was right next to yours. New neighbors…
That house had been for sale for a couple months now. You knew the neighbors ever since you were little, Al and Sharon. They were middle-aged and still working when you met them, but time waited for nobody. Your mom and dad’s house was now yours after they found work in Atlanta, and Al and Sharon were now seniors in retirement, going on to buy a beach house in Florida. You felt a tinge of anger at the buyer’s audacities to buy the house, as if they stole it. Maybe it was just the stolen memories in that house. How Sharon would always invite you for cookies. How the couple felt like an aunt an uncle to you…
Whatever. You continued peering out of your window, trying to get a good look at the buyers, plural or singular. Your eyes fall upon a man who stepped out of the U-Haul, stretching and cracking his neck. He was handsome, you couldn’t even deny it. Tall, muscular, medium skin, and features you wish you could see up close. You didn’t really mind having a sight to look at every day.
You smirked as you mulled over that, but the smirk faded into a smaller one as you watched the passenger door open, and out came a little girl who looked no older than 10. The man gently took her by the hand as she ran up to him, leading her into the house. Your expression softens. You didn’t see a woman come out of the U-Haul. Could the mother be somewhere else? On the way? You’re not sure, but you don’t want to know. You’re not a nosy neighbor. Right?
Two days later, after you’re sure that your new neighbor is settled, you whip up a batch of delicious cookies Sharon gave you the recipe to. You absolutely had to take at least one from the batch, they were just that good. Sharon’s cookies never missed. You dressed presentably before walking out of your house, a plastic container in your hands which contained the fresh batch of cookies. You walked next door, clearing your throat before ringing the doorbell.
You wait for a few moments before you hear a lock turn and the door swing open. You’re met with a 6’9, muscular, and imposing figure. God, he’s much taller than you thought. “Hi, I’m your next door neighbor, um, I’d just like to welcome you into the neighborhood,” you say, extending your arms out with the plastic container in your hands. The man glances down at them and smiles softly before taking them, “I appreciate it.”
You nod and hum in response, and he looks at you, smiling softly. “What’s your name?” he asks. “I’m Y/N, pleasure to meet you,” you say, extending your hand out for a handshake. He shifts the plastic container in one hand and shaking your hand with the other. His grip was firm, his hands large and slightly calloused. “Pleasure’s all mine. I’m Miguel.” he says, looking you in the eyes as he spoke.
The two of you smile at each other before retracting your hands back. Miguel clears his throat before speaking, "Would you like to come in?" You pause for a moment before sighing. "Sure, why not," you say, stepping inside when Miguel moved aside to let you in. You look around, letting out a hum of approval as you see the sheer effort he put into the house these past two days. "I'm surprised," you say, "I was expecting the house to be pretty much empty considering the fact you only moved in a couple days ago..." you mutter loud enough for Miguel to hear.
He lets out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, well, I'm a fast worker." he says, gesturing for you to sit down on the couch. You sit down, looking at him as he sits on the other side of the couch so he's looking directly at you. "So, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?" he asked. "I'm 27,” you say simply, "You?"
"Ah. I'm 32," he replies. You nod your head in response, both of you looking at each other. "So, where are you from originally?" you ask, breaking the silence. "Oh, I'm from New York. I moved here for a fresh start, y'know? Gotta give my kid a good life." Miguel replies. You pause for a moment. Was that the little girl you saw getting out of the U-Haul? There's no way... you thought that was his niece.
"Right... um, where's the mother if you don't mind me asking?" you ask curiously, worried you offended him with that question. He looks at you for a second or two before sighing. “She’s uh… she passed.” Miguel explains. You look at him, your eyes softening with the guilt from even asking in the first place. “I’m so sorry…” you say. “It’s okay.” he replies, waving his hand slightly. Then, your ears catch the sound of feet going pitter-patter upstairs. Your eyes trail up to the ceiling before lowering back to meet Miguel’s gaze. “Papá! Come up! There’s too much sink water!” Gabriella shrieked from upstairs, making you flinch slightly. Miguel sighed, pinching his temple before standing up.
“Sorry about that.” Miguel says, and you nod understandingly. “It’s okay. I’ve gotta go, anyway,” you smile softly. “It was nice meeting you.” you say softly, and he smiles back. “Likewise.” he replied. You stand up and walk over to the front door, leaving his home. It was nice meeting him, but, you realized one thing.
He was a fucking DILF.
You and Miguel went from acquaintances to good friends within one month, and he trusted you enough to babysit one night. He had to go out for something he wouldn’t tell you about. Maybe it was about his deceased wife, you didn’t know and wouldn’t push it any further. Babysitting Gabriella was great, she was kind, sweet, funny, qualities that you enjoyed and reciprocated to her.
You were sitting in her room, listening intently as she rambled about her different records, gesturing to her record player on her table. She had a deep love for music, something both of you could relate to. She was so respectful, mature, held her boundaries when needed. It made your opinion about Miguel shift, too. You thought more of him. He raised his daughter so amazingly that this is how she turned out. Your thoughts cloud your mind, making you doze off…
“Y/N? You okay?” Gabriella’s voice breaks that fog in your mind, making you blink a little. “Oh, yep — I’m okay.” you nod, looking down at the carpet the two of you were sitting on, and the records laid out. Your hand moves over them, not feeling any dust as you swipe your hand over them. You let out a thoughtful hum. “Which record is your favorite, Gabi?” you ask, looking up at Gabriella. “Ooh… I really like this one,” she says, tapping her index finger on a Jhené Aiko album. You nod your head, “Good choice. Really good choice.”
The sound of your conversations echo through Gabriella’s room, until you hear someone clearing their throat in the doorway. “Having fun?” Miguel’s deep gravelly voice could cut through air. You and Gabriella whip your heads in his direction, the little girl immediately standing up and rushing over to her dad. “Papá! You’ve been gone for so long!” she exclaims, hugging his torso tightly — the spot she could reach. “I know, I know, mijita, there was just a lot of rain and I had to drive slower than I would if there wasn’t rain.” Miguel explains, patting her head and caressing her scalp. You watch the interaction with a smile, standing up and dusting yourself off.
“Okay. Gosh, it’s late. A dormir, mija.” Miguel says, pressing on Gabriella’s back slightly ro nudge her along to her bed, where she hurries off and crawls into her bed, yawning softly. You lean down and pick up her records before placing them all in her pink record holder. Once he’s done tucking her in, the two of you head out of her room, Miguel turning off the light before you close the door. Once the door’s closed, he looks at you. “She looked happy with you. Thank you, Y/N.” he says as the two of you walk down the hall and down the stairs. “Oh, it’s no problem! She’s so easy-going, your daughter’s amazing, really.” you say, smiling. Miguel smiles softly, “I appreciate it.” he says.
“Well,” you start, sighing, “Time for me to go.” you say, but as you glance out the window you do a double-take. It was almost flooding out. You scoff under your breath, in utter disbelief. “Damn…” you say, and you feel Miguel’s breath hitting the back of your head as he stares out of the window as well. “You sure you wanna walk home?” he asked, chuckling under his breath. “I mean, I’m only next door, it won’t really do me dama-” you’re cut off the sound of thunder booming, causing you to yelp. “You were saying?” Miguel quipped, smirking. You roll your eyes and sigh, “Fine. Sure. I’ll stay.”
“Good, good,” he says, gesturing you to sit down on the couch. He walks over to the kitchen and you hear him rummaging through the cabinets. “You drink?” he calls from the kitchen. “Sometimes… whatcha got?” you ask. “I can make really good Moscow Mules.” he replied. “Sounds good!” you call back.
A couple of minutes later, Miguel walks in with two Moscow Mules in his hands. You whistle in awe, sitting up on the couch as he set them down onto the coffee table. “Where’d you learn to make these?” you ask as he sits next to you. “I had a buddy back in New York, he was a bartender. I picked up a few things from him.” Miguel says, shrugging. You hum in understanding. He gestures to the drink, and you pick it up by the handle. You take a sip, your eyes widening slightly. You’ve only had a couple of Moscow Mules throughout your life, but this is the best one hands down. You pull your lips away from the mug as you swallow, “Wow…”
“Good?” Miguel grins, looking at you. “Soo good,” you reply. He nods and picks his own mug up, taking a large swig out of it like it was water. You scoff under your breath with a smile on your face. He then leans over and picks up the remote, turning on the TV. “What type of movies do you like?” he asks. “Mm… I like horror a lot,” you say softly as you take another sip of your Moscow Mule. “Alright.” he says, putting on Annabelle.
20 minutes into the movie, Miguel speaks, “Thank you for taking care of Gabi tonight. I appreciate it.” You look at him and smile. “Of course, she’s a really great kid. She was raised well.” you say. “Thank you.” he smiles, staring at your lips the whole time you were speaking. His thoughts were all on you. Gabriella’s asleep and the two of you are alone… fucking during a movie could be so-
No. Miguel, she’s just your good friend.
A silence ensues, interrupted by the occasional scream or rustle from the horror movie. You look at the TV intently, still sipping your Moscow Mule, ignoring the fact that Miguel’s mug was already empty and has been for minutes. Suddenly, you’re caught off guard by an intense jumpscare, which causes you to flinch and rub against Miguel. He instinctively grabs onto your thigh to comfort you. “Damn, you good?” he asks, looking at you. You nod, but your eyes trail down to his hand which was on your thigh.
“Oh, sorry-“ he hesitates, but you rest your hand on his. You look at him with slightly pleading eyes, eyes that just read ‘don’t move your hand away’. He didn’t hesitate anymore as you looked at him like that. He just chuckled under his breath and looked away, continuing to watch the movie. You felt his large hand massage your thigh, kneading the skin through your jeans. Your lips parted slightly as his hand trailed upwards slightly, and he could practically feel the heat growing in between your legs. You could feel the tension in the air. The thick tension. But even with that, you felt comfortable in a way. You enjoyed being touched like that by Miguel for some odd reason, and you sort of knew why. The two of you exchange glances through peripherals for a couple of minutes before Miguel’s grip on your thigh gets tighter all of a sudden.
“Fuck it. Come here.” Miguel grunted out, moving his head towards you and pulling your head towards him, crashing his lips onto yours. You gasp sharply at the sensation of his lips on yours, but you quickly accommodate to the feeling. They were so warm, so inviting. His hand moved to the back of your head, gently grasping the hair there to keep you in place. When he felt you part your lips, he gently dipped his tongue in to your mouth, making you taste him for the first time. You moaned softly at the taste. He tasted like vodka and mint.
Both of your hands were grabbing at anything they could, Miguel’s hands pulling you closer to him as your hands slip under his sweater. He pulls you onto his lap, your bodies flush against each other as he kisses you hungrily. His hands trail down to your ass, squeezing gently before reaching back up to slip off your shirt. He does so quickly, tossing the useless fabric to the couch. He does the same thing with the rest of your clothes, including his, creating this pile of clothes on the side of the couch. You can feel his tent in his underwear, and the small wet spot from pre-cum. He was practically aching for you, and it isn’t surprising considering the tension you two have had since the start. You break the kiss and watch as he shifts under you to slide his hand in his boxers and fish his cock out. His tip was weeping precum, begging your heat to envelop it.
He does all of this while looking you in the eyes, his fingers moving with ease. “Ven aquí, give me those pretty lips.” he muttered, pressing his lips against yours again. You wrapped your arms around his neck, not bothered by the silver chain wrapped around it. You could feel his tip press against your mound, the swollen flesh begging to be cared for. He tugged at the hem of your panties and looked into your eyes, as if asking for permission. He smirked when you nodded eagerly, showing no hesitance whatsoever. With one swift motion, he slipped them off of you and glided them off your legs, tossing them onto the pile of clothes without care.
“So fuckin’ beautiful.” Miguel muttered, reaching down and rubbing your clit gently with his thumb, biting down on his bottom lip as you whined softly. He continued rubbing your sensitive nub, only eliciting more moans from you. He continued his ministrations for a minute or two, until he felt your thighs begin to shake. “You gonna cum? Hm?” he cooed, the movements of his thumb growing a little rougher as you nodded your head. “I’m about to c-cum..” you breathe out, causing him to abruptly retract his thumb, leaving you whining in protest.
“You didn’t think I was gonna let you cum that quick, did you?” Miguel grinned, his canines showing. You scoff under your breath and breathe out, nuzzling your face into his neck. Miguel shifted under you, positioning his fully-hard cock at your entrance, eliciting a gasp from you as you felt the tip teasingly rubbing against your sex. You tremble slightly as he pushes in gently, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. You whimper softly, trembling so much you’re just unable to grind or move your hips at all. He encourages you slightly, guiding your hips back and forth in a slow rhythm. He groans out as he feels your movements, your walls contracting on his cock are all it takes to make him slightly lightheaded.
It’s been years since he’d had sex, so he didn’t expect to last long. As long as it was with you.
“Fuck…” Miguel grunted softly, his grip loosening on your hips as his control loosened with it. “Slow, slow, just like that…” he breathed out, letting his hands fall back to his sides as his eyes went half-lidded. You braced your hands on his broad shoulders, slowly grinding on his cock as you felt him go limp in your arms. You analyzed his face as you continued to slowly grind on him, smiling softly as you saw pleasure written all over his face. He moved his hands up and moved you lower on him, his cock filling you to the brim. You felt his tip kiss your cervix, eliciting a loud whimper. Your mewls and his grunts filled the room, and the pace began to gradually increase.
Your movements went from grinding to bouncing the closer the two of you got, but either one was sending Miguel into an internal frenzy. His eyes were almost rolling into the back of his head as he groaned loudly, feeling that familiar knot in his stomach. “Fuck… keep doing that…” he gasped, his cum threatening to pour out any second now. You weren’t any better, your legs shaking uncontrollably until they started giving out, your bounces on his cock slowing down greatly, causing him to huff slightly. “Hold on. Hold on, stay still. Let me do some work,” Miguel panted out, wrapping his arms around the small of your back and shifting his legs before beginning to thrust up into your pussy.
You let out a choked out moan, pressing your body against his, your breaths heavy as he managed to rail you from underneath you. “Fuuuck, you’re so tight,” he breathed out, holding you in place as you writhed in his arms. You whine in response, practically gasping for air at this point.
And just like that, his hips stuttered as his cum shot into you, and your walls tightened around his cock, milking it for every last drop. His movements slow as he slowly thrusts his cum into you, both of your noises filling the living room, the TV barely drowning out the noise. It just blended. Miguel looked up at you, reaching up and taking your chin in between his thumb and index. “Look at me,” he says, moving his head to find your eyes. When you do, he chuckles softly. “You okay? Need anything?” he asks, leaning forward to gently plant a kiss on your forehead.
You shake your head and smile, “Nah. I’m okay.” you say, smiling, but your smile fades when you head a voice from upstairs.
“But I’m not! Miss Y/N, please stop boxing my daddy! I’m trying to go to sleep!” Gabriella calls out from upstairs before slamming her door back up. You freeze, your face turning beet red. Boxing, huh? You can safely say that you’ll never fuck that man in his house again.
#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x you#miguel o’hara fanfiction#fanfic#astv miguel#miguel 2099#spiderman 2099#sm 2099#2099#fantasy#imagine#y/n#miguel o’hara x y/n#miguel x y/n#astv x y/n
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➳ older | psh.
non!idolsunghoon x fem!reader (feat. jaemin and jisung from nct)
“think i need someone older, just a little bit colder”
synopsis: sunghoon is your brother’s friend who you’ve grown up with, but now you guys share lingering kisses and quiet touches.
warnings/content: written in third pov. suggestive content! tension. sunghoon gets jealous and possessive (who’s surprised). he’s also very confident in here. age gap (reader is 18). introverted y/n. cursing and not proofread.
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 5.4k
a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend).
༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: older by isabel larosa
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
0:39 ─────|────────────── -1:37
it was a normal, sunny day in the house of y/n and her brother. it had only been the two since their parents had left town for the week.
“hey, i’m gonna have my friends over. stay in your room,” the male said to her.
she gave an eye roll along with a disgusted look in return. “whatever, its not like i talk to your friends,” but she did.
her brother’s friend group consisted of heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, jaemin, and jisung. the enhypen members had been his long term friends ever since they were little — he met heeseung at the age of 10 and a few years along the way, the 02z liners popped up.
as they grew older, their group expanded when they came across jaemin and jisung in their high school years. ever since then, the group’s been growing and improving together.
with y/n’s brother meeting each boy at such a young age, the girl grew up with them as well. in such luck, her eyes trailed to jaemin. he was always so sweet to her that it caused her heart call to be for him and only him.
well, possibly not just for him.
when y/n got older, she realized that jaemin remained to just be a childhood crush. he was still the same guy she knew him as, but she just grew out of the fond memories she shared with him.
instead, she found herself to constantly look at sunghoon quite more often than she’d think.
she started to see him in a different way. the boy would always go back to the house with her brother after soccer practice, and just little gestures exchanged between the two sent heart throbs.
as time passed, she became more flustered around him — in which caused her to come to terms with the fact that she did like him. but they grew up together, they watched each other mature into the person they were.
that acknowledgement didn’t stop them though.
it had been a party thrown by her brother for who knows what; and one thing lead to another, and sunghoon had randomly admitted his feelings.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ — flashback
“you’re really pretty, you know that?” hoon uttered out in the silence, alcohol slightly reeking out of him.
y/n’s cheeks burned with red as she became flushed. “what?? that’s so random??” she tried to laugh off how awkward it was but only caused it to become more tense.
it was only the two of them in her room. the party was coming to an end with goodbyes, and sunghoon apparently needed his book back that she had borrowed, so they went to her bedroom (it was just an excuse).
when he received the object, he denied the request to go back out there as his social battery was running out (another excuse).
the boy just wanted some alone time, who can blame him?
“i’m serious,” hoon murmured. he turned to face her as they remained to be sitting on the edge of the bed, legs touching and feet near each other.
“uhm.. thank you?” she replied, emphasizing her question mark at the end.
he gave a light chuckle, showing his wide grin as he said, “why’d you say it like that?”
y/n quickly scrunched her brows together, giving a swift shrug to her shoulders before she replied, “i don’t know?? how else am i supposed to thank you?”
“with a kiss.” his lips crashed against hers in an instant. she was taken back for a second but melted in once she felt the tug of his lips.
he pulled away not too long after to let the longing for another sink in. a grin played on his lips, fully amused of her flustered state.
“you just kissed me..,” y/n raised her hands to her lips to graze where his lips had touched hers just seconds ago.
“i like you loser, you haven’t noticed that?” sunghoon said with a chuckle. his brows raised up as he continued to watch her try to find her words.
her mouth opened to speak but nothing could come out. he truly made her at a loss for words with the sudden surge of confidence he had to kiss and confess.
“guess you’ve just been too busy gawking at jaemin huh?” his lips curled into a smirk afterward, causing the girl to hit his shoulder.
“shut up!” they giggled together before the door had suddenly boomed open to the sight of her brother in a drunken state.
“hey.. it’s my friend, sunghoon and my sister, y/n! what are you guys doing?” he slurred out with fluttered eyes.
she rolled her eyes at him while trying to slowly back away from the boy she had just kissed. “oh god, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”
“no bro, my tolerance is good.” his feet soon stumbled down and so did his body. the stupid male fell down to the floor with how drunk he was.
“oh my god…,” she mumbled, giving a heavy sigh as she kneeled down beside him.
sunghoon softly laughed at watching how the siblings interacted.
“sorry..” she slightly whispered to him as she shook her brother who was on the floor.
“it’s okay y/n, we’ll talk soon.” he blinked his eyes in reassurance as he walked over to his friend. “rest well dude,” a soft pat was made to the boy on the floor as hoon smiled and walked out her bedroom door.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
they haven’t talked as much since then.
and as much as y/n’s brother denied it, he was protective of her and sunghoon knew that. he had a younger sister himself, so he understood.
he always remembered the words of her brother that echoed in his head — “y/n’s my little sister, she’s off limits.”
in retrospect, they specifically went out to jaemin as y/n’s name always rolled off of his tongue.
but sunghoon liked the girl. he always did. watching each other grow was something special as he admired from afar.
when she got to an older age, he found it difficult to get her out of his head. they were three years apart though and he acknowledged that, so he tried to move on.
but it didn’t help that they had just kissed months ago. she’d been stuck in his mind just as he was to her.
so when her brother had mentioned his friends coming over, she had to act as if she was unfazed.
a few knocks on the door were made and the whole friend group came flooding in. the boys soon comfortably situated themselves on the couch.
“where’s y/n?” jaemin asked, taking a sip of his opened soda afterward. sunghoon’s ears perked up as he waited for the answer.
“who cares about her?” her brother responded, truthfully remaining a little curious as to why he asked for her.
“oh come on, your sister’s cute.”
the girl’s brother morphed into an appalled look. “ha ha very funny. you’re disgusting, jaemin.”
he raised his arms in defense, hearing the others chime in as well. “that’s his little sister, bro.” jake said with a chuckle.
“says the one who’s dating her friend!”
the australian boy quickly shut his mouth after.
“he’s got you there,” heeseung amusingly added.
jaemin puffed out his lips as he let air pass. “you’re dating her other friend, hee” jisung squeaked out with a giggle.
heeseung became quiet, causing loud laughs to erupt from the group.
“you guys may be dating her friends, but that doesn’t mean you can date her.” y/n’s brother defensively said.
sunghoon trailed his eyes from the left and then to the right as he quietly whispered, “oh fuck.”
they weren’t exactly dating, but they still shared small pecks on the lips whenever they had the chance.
he couldn’t help it, it was like a craving.
“you’re quiet hoon,” jake mischievously spoke.
everybody landed their eyes on the boy as he took a gulp. “i just need to take a piss” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact as he got up and left.
“strange…,” y/n’s brother uttered.
“strange indeed,” heeseung whispered, sharing a suspicious glance to jake. they definitely heard something from their partners.
as sunghoon found his way to the bathroom, he also searched for y/n. luckily, her bedroom was near so he didn’t have to look far.
“y/n?” he quietly peeped, head peaking through the crack of the door.
a gasp was heard from the other end. “sunghoon?” she harshly whispered, widening the door crack to a smiley hoon.
“missed you,” he quietly mumbled in her ear while closing the door behind him. his arms wrapped around her, sighing in the warm embrace she exuded.
“missed you too.” she shyly said back with her head against his broad chest.
“y/n?? is that sunghoon?” her airpod muffled out.
the boy raised his brows before turning his head to her phone and finding her on call with her friends — min-su, dae, and ji-woo.
“you’re calling them?”
“yeah..”
in seconds, she could hear them go quiet in her ears, only for them to go loud again with booming questions; a few about their boyfriends who were at her house and a few about their undefined relationship.
she groaned out a sigh before double tapping her airpod, disconnecting from the call.
“sorry, i wanted to be kept busy while you guys were here.” y/n pushed her lips into a firm line to display how awkward she was feeling.
hoon gave a chuckle as a response — “i could’ve been helping you with that.” his brows raised in a suggestive way, earning a loud slap on his arm.
“ew sunghoon!” her face struck in horror as his words replayed in her ears.
truth be told, she got butterflies in her stomach with how close he was when he said it, but that didn’t stop her from hitting him. “the way you’re so confident right now is crazy, what if my brother finds you in my room like this?”
the inner corner of his lips slowly curled in mischief. “don’t worry gorgeous, he hasn’t found out the past few times i’ve visited you for a kiss.”
y/n’s eyes widened at the nickname. “gorgeous??? god hoon, you need to be put down.” she shook her head before rubbing her fingers on her temple. the boy was stressing her out but she was secretly enjoying the little things he was risking for her.
“i’m serious loser, if he finds out, we’re both done for. you know how he is!”
sunghoon grinned ear to ear, simply melting from her stressed state. “i know i know, you’re just so mesmerizing that i have to come back to you.”
he grabbed her chin from the bottom and smiled in amusement, enjoying how flustered he could make her with his flirtatious acts.
“i don’t know whether to feel disgusted or special right now,” she murmured, slightly killing the romantic mood.
he scoffed at her words. “you should feel special.” his head dipped lower to her lips, foreheads bunking while closing the gap as she whispered, “should i?”
his lips curled into a smile, uttering — “mhm” before letting their lips meet. her hands wrapped around his neck to pull him closer.
it was a soft kiss with how gentle he was going, but he still let a low groan leave his lips as his brows scrunched together.
hoon had finally got his craving, but the hungry desire was building up.
before he could go any further, y/n quickly pulled away to let him linger for more. he tried to connect their lips back together again but she stopped him with a head turn.
sunghoon was confused and his face showed it, causing the girl to softly laugh at his reaction.
“that was cute, but you have to go back before he notices you weren’t even in the bathroom in the first place.” she quietly said against his lips.
“so let him,” he groaned out before attempting to swoop in for another kiss.
she dodged it again as she shook her head. “no hoon, i’m serious. he might actually kick your ass.”
sunghoon rolled his eyes, tone becoming bitter as he replied, “so close to telling him for us.”
she gave a giggle at his words before nudging his arm. “just go back.”
“but-“
“hoon??” a voice from the hallway called out.
the two froze together before y/n slightly pushed him away from her.
the voice didn’t belong to her brother, but she knew it was one of the boys.
in seconds, jake peaked in through the door. he caught on a little too quick as he automatically smiled.
“what’s going on in here hm?”
sunghoon’s face peered into repulse at the sight of his friend. “shut up dude.”
jake softly chuckled before continuing on, “he sent me up here to check on you since you were taking too long in the bathroom. guess you just got lost in y/n’s room huh?”
y/n smiled and shook her head at the boy. “shut up jake…,”
he laughed in return as sunghoon’s cheeks were faintly colored red. “i’ve been knowing all along bro, ji-woo told me already. jisung owes me.. but you don’t have to look all embarrassed.” he nudged his arms in a playful way as the girl continued to laugh. “her brother might kill you though..”
“let’s just go. you’re embarrassing me,” sunghoon muttered, grabbing hold of the shorter boy to leave the room.
“hey don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone! and tell ji-woo to text me back y/n, yeah?” jake shouted. he earned a head smack from hoon in return so her brother couldn’t hear anything.
the two bickered like siblings as they walked through the hallway, leaving y/n alone in her bed. a smile curled onto her lips before she went back to her phone and rejoined the call with her friends, not forgetting to tell ji-woo to text jake back.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
days had passed since the boys came over. within the time gone, y/n’s brother had received news that he was getting promoted to a higher position in his job.
to celebrate, a party came in mind.
night arrived and the event soon began.
the party didn’t consist of a lot of people, but there were enough to cause social anxiety in the host’s sister.
she didn’t bother to converse with many people as she stayed near her friends — who, of course, were dating her brother’s friends so she stayed lingering around by herself.
the poor girl sighed to herself as she was alone.
no sight of hoon could be found but even if she did find him, she couldn’t risk it. to be quite frank, they hadn’t talked in a while. and along with that, they hadn’t kissed, so tension between them was growing.
it only worsened though when she found him to be talking to some girl.
just a random girl she didn’t know.
it didn’t matter that she didn’t know who that girl was, it mattered that he was talking to someone else who wasn’t her.
the 5’11 boy was seemingly enjoying the conversation he was having with her, laughing about who knows what. it boiled her blood to see that he was giving that same smile he gave her when they kissed the day that jake interrupted them.
she knew it was to throw off suspicions from her brother but did he really have to do it too well?
✩ ‘baby, am i your little secret?’ ✩
“want some company?” a familiar voice asked her, interrupting her train of thought.
y/n looked up and found jaemin offering her a can of soda. “sure,” she murmured with a smile.
he took the seat beside her as he sighed. “it’s overwhelming isn’t it?”
she peeked her eyes at him once she took a sip of her beverage. “yeah… i’d rather not interact with all of them.” her chuckle was soft as he reflected it in the same tone.
“still the same shy girl i know huh?”
she didn’t like him anymore, but that sure had her slightly flustered. her eyes widened a bit as she turned to him — “i’m not shy! i just don’t want to talk to people” — she defended.
jaemin’s laugh became louder as he teased, “yeah right. i know you y/n, you’re not one to talk first.”
the girl rolled her eyes in defeat. “okay okay fine.”
he grinned again while bunking shoulder to shoulder with her. “so who are you willing to talk to then?”
they met eyes right away and almost immediately, his gaze softened.
her inner child would be screaming with how close he was right now.
but she didn’t like him, not anymore. she liked sunghoon.
and no matter how close her old crush was near her, she couldn’t stop thinking about how hoon might’ve been doing something else with that girl.
y/n softly pulled away as her eyes twinkled in the light. “just anyone really,” she said with a half smile.
jaemin’s left corner of his lips curled as he smiled and nodded.
“i used to like you, you know?” he suddenly admitted.
her head quickly whipped to him as he chuckled at her reaction. “yeah i used to like you but i backed off because of your brother.”
she felt her heart pounding from his words but she didn’t know if it was from her younger self screaming in joy, or what.
“you did?” the girl asked, fingertips unusually becoming numb.
he nodded his head and gave a bread smile. “you were so cute when you were little.” he gazed his eyes down, going into remembrance of how they used to be in their younger years.
when y/n opened her mouth to speak, she felt a quick tug fling at her wrist.
in seconds, she was pulled away from the brown haired boy who was just as confused as her. her eyes glanced up and found a jealous sunghoon in front of her.
from what she didn’t see, hoon had been observing from afar. he didn’t mean to go stalker mode but he couldn’t help it with how jaemin had suddenly approached his girl.
his eyes darted at the two, resisting it all in himself to not pull her right away. he had enough of it though when he saw how close his friend had gotten to her. his jaw clenched when he imagined the possibility of jaemin connecting his lips with the girl he’s been wanting to kiss.
“hoon?”
“shut up.” he angrily spat out.
his grip accidentally became tighter as he continued to drag her up to her room, not caring if her brother had seen (he didn’t).
when they finally got to her room, he shut the door and pinned her against it.
she slightly winced in pain, almost causing him to let go of his rough act. it didn’t work though because the thought of jaemin and her closely together angered him even more.
he felt a bitter grudge fill every inch of his body as his jaw tensed, eyes staring deeply into hers.
“you gonna keep talking to jaemin, or should i tell your brother?” one hand was slammed against the door, near her head as the other still held onto her, caging her to himself.
“you know jaemin and i aren’t-“
“then why do you keep talking to him?” sunghoon cut her off, sounding sour in his tone as his eyes never dared to leave hers.
y/n slightly rolled her eyes. she liked seeing him jealous but he was honestly annoying her.
“why do you care?” she challenged. her lips softly grinned as he mirrored it, enjoying how confident she got.
he inched his face closer to hers, breath becoming hot and heavy against her — allowing the girl to reel in the scent of alcohol he radiated.
their lips were so close to touching, so close to finally meeting again after days of intense silence.
sunghoon lingered his eyes on her lips, tracing every part of it with his vision before moving onto her eyes.
the boy peered his gaze into her, slowly displaying that his orbs were pleading with lust and hunger.
he licked his lips, letting his tongue peek a little for her to see as he raised his brows and gave a smug smile at the same time.
“you belong to me,” he whispered.
butterflies and nervous sensations hit every part of y/n’s body with just those words. she felt weak in the knees in how he delivered his sentence.
the words were so possessive and yet charming.
hoon’s head dipped in to close the small gap between them, only for y/n to stop him with a hand on his chest.
the tension couldn’t be cut through with how much they craved for each other.
he slightly backed away, brows faintly raising as she shook her head. “you’re drunk, sunghoon.”
he gave a laughing scoff before letting his eyes trail back to her lips. “am i? because why is it that all i can imagine right now is how you kissed me the other day.”
he placed his thumb on her bottom lip, pulling it back as his mouth opened as well. a soft groan erupted out of his throat while holding himself back from smashing their lips against each others.
she was so close to giving in.
his desperation for a kiss had her almost folding. but she had to stop herself.
he was drunk, and she wasn’t about to take advantage of his vulnerable state.
it was something, but it was not the way.
when sunghoon tried to dive in for another kiss on the lips, y/n’s hands firmly placed itself on his muscled shoulders.
“you’re not in the best state to make decisions right now.” she stared deeply at him as he furrowed his brows.
“are you sure about that?” hoon’s head drooped to her shoulders, allowing her to instantly feel his hot breath.
he whimpered out a sigh at the feel of his lips on her clothed skin. “you drive me crazy,” he whispered, placing wet kisses at her shoulder and leading up to her collarbone.
as he attempted to do so, his eyes closed a little longer than he wished. and instantly, he was knocked out.
she huffed out a sigh, half in laughter and half in annoyance that his body weight was suddenly depending on her. “geez,” she mumbled. “kissing me and now you’re asleep.”
her hands pushed him off of her so he could fall back on the bed.
the girl smiled as her gaze softened with each second she admired him. “sleep well idiot,” she whispered before turning out the lights.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when morning came, sunghoon’s eyes forced itself awake from the bright light.
a pounding was taken to the head as he groaned out in pain. he looked around, eyes scanning everywhere as little placements of the room began to be recognized.
he peaked his head up to the left, soon finding a barrier of pillows in the middle of the bed, separating him and the girl he liked. y/n remained softly asleep on her side as she was all the way at the edge of the bed.
once he blinked enough to gain conscious of how far she was, he softly smiled.
“cute,” he quietly mumbled to himself.
as he was about to reach for a blanket to cover her up, the door was suddenly opened to y/n’s brother. his mouth gaped open in shock as his eyes widened.
“what the hell are you doing in my sister’s room???” he loudly questioned, awakening y/n.
she blinked in confusion before gaining hold that she slept in the same bed as sunghoon, and her brother had just caught her.
“calm down,” she grumbled while tiredly rubbing her eyes.
her brother clicked his tongue before yelling — “get the hell out of her bed sunghoon! what the hell is wrong with you?”
with said, hoon jumped out of the bed, only for the older boy to skip close to him. “that’s my sister!!”
“okay look-“
“no! get out! you are not getting anywhere closer to her”
“you can’t do that!” y/n defensively screamed.
“shut the hell up! you’re a kid, you can’t- he can’t- just get out of here sunghoon!”
the younger male quickly rushed out, not needing to be told twice to do such a thing as he panicked.
a few hours passed and her brother continued to rage even though hoon had left.
“are you kidding me, y/n??”
she rolled her eyes and sighed. “it’s not that big of a deal as you’re making it.”
“you’re eighteen and he’s twenty-one dumbass! he’s older than you by three years, what makes you think this is okay??”
“we like each other and it’s genuine.”
“you’re a kid, y/n. he’s gonna be in his mid twenties soon and you just turned eighteen. you don’t even know what’s best from left to right. how are you gonna handle it if he breaks up with you??
“well i guess we’ll just have to wait and see huh!” she yelled, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temple in irritation. “three years isn’t as bad as you’re making it.”
“it is when you’re just fucking eighteen, stupid.”
“calm the fuck down,” she took a sigh in as she mentally told herself to calm down. “okay look, i know you’re pissed because he’s your friend and he’s three years older than me, but i’m telling you, him and i match really well.”
her brother gave a soft scoff, shaking his head in disappointment as he said, “you’re just gonna get hurt, dumbass.”
she knew he was being protective, but he couldn’t control her love life.
“sunghoon and i are-“
“are what? together now?” he ridiculed.
y/n rolled her eyes. “would it really be that bad for us to be together?”
before she could say anything else, he walked away. her brother didn’t want to hear what she had to say anymore. the argument would only be going back and forth so he left it as it is.
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a few days had passed since the incident, and y/n’s brother hasn’t talked to her or sunghoon.
in fact, y/n and hoon haven’t talked to each other either. they felt it best to keep a distance for the time being.
when it was late in the night, the girl was calling the same four friends as usual. they yapped on and on about various topics.
as her friend, dae continued to talk about his date with jungwon, a light tapping was made on the window.
being the paranoid girl she was, her heart stopped before she turned to her phone — “did you guys hear that?? that wasn’t just me right..,”
“girl.. i heard it too,” said ji-woo with a clear eyebrow raise.
“uhm me too but i didn’t want to say it,” dae quirked out.
“you’re being haunted y/n,” min-su commented with a smile.
“shut up!” the girl on the other end yelled, hands shakily grabbing hold of the phone to see if she missed any notifications that could be related to the tapping window.
indeed, she did.
hoonie :):
It’s me
Open please..
y/n huffed out a sigh as she went to the window. “hold on guys, i’ll be back.” she told her friends, ending the call while opening the window to sunghoon.
he came tumbling in, chest heaving up and down. “finally,” he breathed.
“what are you doing here, sunghoon?” her arms folded together in curiosity.
the boy breathed heavily as he caught his breath.
“i just..,” he stopped himself to get closer to her, hands cupping her cheeks as he lovingly stared. “i just wanted to see you.”
“what if-“
“it’s okay, i’ll only be here for a second. i just really missed you.”
y/n cracked a smile as his cheesy words caused her heart to thump in joy.
“i missed you too…,” she quietly said before leaning in for a small peck on the lips.
“you just stole my next act,” hoon replied with a pout.
she laughed at his reaction, rolling her eyes as her hands trailed up to his own. “just do it again.”
and he did.
the male pushed himself toward her lips after being granted with permission.
his hands became tighter around her cheeks as he forced more of his lips on hers, pushing her back so she could hit the wall. she softly groaned from the act while he felt relieved to feel her lips on his again.
with them keeping a distance, the tension easily grew and the kiss had just satisfied that, but he craved for more.
he was hungry, and thrilled, even, to finally have their lips connect. it was evident with how much his grip tightened around her waist.
the girl finally pulled away, hands holding him back as she panted deeply for fresh air. “gosh..,” she breathed, fisting her hands so she could harshly bump it against his strong chest.
sunghoon gave a faint laugh in return. his head bunked against hers as he placed a sweet kiss on the top of her nose.
“i’ve been waiting.”
y/n rolled her eyes, softly hitting his arm as she said, “he’s really gonna find out!”
“let him, he already knows.”
he connected his lips with hers again, almost sloppy with the way they touched, but it was nothing but sweet.
he intended to keep the mood that way and so did she.
“hoon..,” she mumbled against his lips. “he could-“
“shut up.” sunghoon smashed his lips against hers, muffling out the leftover words in her mouth as she melted into it.
she felt her heart rate exceed at an unhealthy pace when his finger nails dug into the flesh of her waist.
he pulled away again, panting hard while still leaving littered kisses on her lips.
“stop kissing me, hoon! im scared,” she pushed him away with a hit on his shoulder.
sunghoon only chuckled as a reaction, finding it amusing with how afraid she was. his fangs shined in her eyes as he continued to laugh.
“you’re cute when you worry,” he teased.
his hand reached to her hair, tucking a few strands behind as he looked at her with yearning eyes.
“gorgeous girl,” he whispered before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “your brother may scare me too, but he can’t completely break us apart.”
y/n’s lips curled into a smile as she quietly agreed. “plus, you’re already mine.” he added on, intertwining his hands with hers and raising it as proof.
she rolled her eyes and nodded her head — “fine fine, but if he catches us, i’m blaming you.”
he cracked out a laugh — “okay gorgeous.” he dragged her to her bed before wrapping his arms around her. his head rested on top of hers as their legs dangled together.
as they remained on the bed, trying to be as secretive as possible, y/n checked her phone real quick to text her group chat that she wasn’t gonna join back.
but a few quick texts from her brother had stopped her.
‘I know he’s there stupid’
‘He better treat you right’
she grinned ear to ear after feeling a heavy weight lift off of her shoulders.
a quick like and response to the message was made before shutting her phone off and turning to sunghoon.
“he knows,” she whispered.
his eyes blew up in shock. “he does??”
“mhm, and he’s okay with it so you better be glad.” she said, letting her hands go to his hair to play with it.
y/n picked at the soft strands that peaked out, smiling as she felt her heart warming up with him.
hoon watched her play with his hair, eyes longing with love as her embrace was becoming home to him.
the two stayed in their position a little longer before ultimately deciding to watch a movie together.
the night ended in a softhearted silence as they slept in each other’s arms. she was sound asleep with his hoodie on while he clung onto her.
everything felt right with the world now that they were together without the burden of her brother.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
#pshcomforts#enhypen#park sunghoon#enha#enha imagines#enha x reader#enhypen heeseung#enhypen imagines#enhypen jake#enhypen jay#enhypen x reader#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen scenarios#enhypen niki#enhypen suggestive#enhypen smut#enhypen jungwon#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#park sunghoon fluff#sunghoon#park sunghoon angst#sunghoon smut#sunghoon fluff#enha scenarios#enha angst#enha fluff#enha fanfic#sunghoon hard hours
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The Girl in IT - 1. The Night Shift
A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU
Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)
Chapter Preview: "Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal."
“Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-"
You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Chapter Warnings and Tags: No Outbreak! Joel Miller, Mentions of intended smut towards the reader, Boss x Employee Relationship, Virgin Reader, All of the yearning, Joel Miller is a silly flirt, A small-ish age gap, Joel is too forward for his own good, Tess is a boss (and should not be fucked with - or you get the horns).
Word Count: 5.6K
A/N: Well, hello there!
I honestly have no idea where this idea of a (somewhat crack) fic came from, but I had an idea and I ran with it! A lot of the character development came from my own anxieties of feeling behind in life, and if you feel that way too, I feel you! Don't worry, I promise it won't always feel like this. Time is just that- time, and it's never too late to follow your dreams! I believe in you!
Subject: I think I have a Virus?
12:50 AM (10 min ago)
Hey Sugar,
I know it's late, but my computer fritzed out an hour ago (a shit ton of pop-ups) and I have that presentation with The H Hotel tomorrow morning. Well, do you think you could do me a solid and help me... not have any more of those darn pop-ups? I called the number that popped up asking if I needed assistance with the virus and they asked for my credit card information but they haven't replied back.
Shit, was that a scam? Fuck. I should call Amex.
Anyway, do you think you can help me get out of this bind, Sugar? I'll be forever and eternally grateful. If you don't, well... I'm sure Tess will rip me a new one, and I would like to not have a Servopoulos-level meltdown at 9 in the morning. Not after last time. Sorry about having to be a part of that, Sugar. At least Maria was able to pay for your dry cleaning and get you a new shirt? You should have let me check your chest for burns, I sure as hell wouldn't want scalding hot coffee being thrown in my direction either. Shit. Not check your chest as in checking out your... breasts, just the burn site. Yeah. That's what I meant.
(Also, sorry for emailing you last minute. Shit. I'm desperate, baby.)
Thanks,
Joel Miller
Owner and CEO, Miller Construction Group
(512) 123-4567
Subject: RE: I think I have a Virus?
1 AM (0 seconds ago)
Good Evening Mr. Miller,
I got your request and will work on it shortly. I can't make any promises, but I will try to get you out of your "bind".
Don't worry about that thing with Tess. She was rightfully upset, and I just so happened to be caught in the line of fire. If it had to be one of us, I am glad it was me being pelted with boiling hot coffee, and not you in front of your clients. You didn't have to have Maria buy me a blouse from Neiman Marcus, nothing a little tide-to-go can't fix, right? Also, I knew what you meant about my chest, and I didn't think you wanted to look at my... breasts. Let's not refer to any of my body parts moving forward.
Also, I am not completely comfortable with the terms of endearment that you continuously call me, Sir. Please refer to me by my actual name, these emails are monitored by Tess and I would not like to be scalded with hot coffee again for a little misunderstanding.
Please let me know if you have any other pressing questions or concerns.
Goodnight!
IT Specialist 0926,
IT Department, Miller Construction Group
(512) 765-4321
"Ok Bubbles, let's see what mess Mr. Miller got himself into this time."
Settling by your coffee table, you access your remote portal and insert your portable SSD, initiating various programs to gain entry into your boss's laptop. Securing your hair in a messy top bun with a claw clip, you find yourself biting your bottom lip in concentration. Simultaneously, you switch on your TV, finding solace in the ambient noise that fills your dimly lit apartment—a space shared with Sir Bubbles, your British Shorthair companion since your college days. There's a marathon of Criminal Minds airing on TBS, Spencer Reid's adorable face on screen as he rattles off another theory for why the unsub was an abuse victim by his prostitute mother. You turn the volume down a bit, drowning out his voice.
It's near silent in the little shoebox you call home, the only decent place you were able to afford with your meager savings- after slaving away as a Geek Squad IT Specialist for the majority of your twenties at the Best Buy down the road from your parent's house. Despite graduating with your MIS at the University of Texas - Dallas, finding a decent job in your industry was brutal, and, honestly, quite embarrassing after receiving 30-plus rejection emails in a span of a year. Downtrodden and desperate for a job, you settled on working at Best Buy temporarily, but by the time you hit your mid-30s, it's been eight years working for barely minimum wage, and absolutely nothing to show for it.
"Do you remember those sweet Miller boys who fixed our roof ten years ago?" your mother asks during a Sunday dinner six months ago, sliding a boat of gravy your way as you absentmindedly drizzle it over your mashed potatoes. "I ran into the older one... Joeseph? James? He owns his own company now with his brother, quite the feat, right? They're working on that hotel down the road... anyway, Josh-"
"Joel," you correct her, nudging the over-steamed carrots around your plate. "I think his name was Joel, Mama."
"Yes, Joel," your mother dismissively waves her hands. "Well, I told him about how you were on the job hunt, you know, with your master's and all. Oh, remember when you used to have that silly little crush on him? He's grown to be quite the looker, you know? Anyway, he told me that they were looking for someone to replace their old IT person—apparently, they retired—"
"Mom," you groan, "get to the point."
"Well," she grins conspiratorially, "he wants you to apply, baby. He remembers you and your little crush, and he said he could never forget someone as cute as you. If you're as good as I claimed you were, well... the job's practically yours!"
Your fork slips from your grasp, the metallic clang against porcelain causing Bubbles to leap in surprise, hissing at you in irritation. "Wait, what?" you blurt out, your eyes wide with a mix of shock and confusion.
Your mother beams at your reaction, seemingly pleased with the bombshell she just dropped. "I told him all about your IT skills and how you practically run the technology world from your bedroom. He seemed really interested, sweetie. And, well, it wouldn't hurt to at least consider it, right?"
You sit there, a swirl of thoughts and emotions whirling in your mind. The unexpected twist of Joel Miller, the older Miller boy you once had a crush on, remembering you and possibly offering you a job—it's surreal. Bubbles, having recovered from the earlier disturbance, casually resumes licking his paw, completely uninterested in the familial drama.
"I... I don't know, Mom," you stammer, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. "I mean, working for the Millers? It's a bit... complicated."
She leans in, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Sweetheart, this could be a fantastic opportunity. And who knows, maybe that little crush of yours could turn into something more... professional, of course." She cuts into her meatloaf, humming in contentment as she chews. "Oh, and Sweetie? Wear the red sweater with your pleated skirt, with something other than those sneakers. You're turning thirty-six in September; you can at least do yourself a favor and start dressing your age for once! I'm sure Joel would appreciate it!" she winks at you as your father grunts in displeasure, rolling his eyes, muttering "meddler" under his breath.
"Mom, it was just a crush from a decade ago. Besides, mixing work and personal feelings is never a good idea."
She chuckles, reaching across the table to pat your hand. "Well, think about it, okay? Joel seemed genuinely interested in having you on the team. It's worth exploring, don't you think?"
A wink, a handshake, and six months later, you find yourself on-call indefinitely, catering to Mr. Miller's every technological whim and folly. It's not a bad job, you reason — getting paid triple what you made at Best Buy, monitoring everyone's browsing history in the office, and fielding the incessant IT requests Mr. Miller sends your way- which was often. Way too often.
[My laptop won't turn on.] Did you charge it? Try doing that first.
[Why does the volume not work on my Zoom calls?] Did you make sure that you're not on mute or that your computer volume is up? Check that first.
[Since when did we put a parental blocker on the internet?] It was per Tess, who said that employees should be working instead of looking up anti-feminist manifestos on Reddit. I apologize for the inconvenience, Mr. Miller. [Oh, well shit. Do you think you could unblock it for me? I am... having a hard time accessing my... bank account.] I mean- I could, but I would have to run it by Tess first. [Do you think you could... for me? It'll be our little secret, Sugar. Don't worry about Tess, I'll handle her.] Sure, Mr. Miller... Right. Our little secret. [Sugar, for the last time, it's Joel. Besides, I thought we were past having a silly little crush on me, you've grown into a... rather nice young woman. Please, call me Joel.] Uh, sure Mr. Miller.
You are broken from your silent reverie by the unmistakable ding, ding, ding of the pop-ups Joel- Mr. Miller - you correct yourself, mentioned in his email. You scoff, biting into a piece of beef jerky. Typing in a command, the pop-ups halt, the black screen granting you developer access popping up as you run diagnostic after diagnostic trying to catch the little sucker - a virus, as Mr. Miller claimed - in the act of corrupting your poor boss' laptop once again. There you are, you little shit, you mutter under your breath as you furiously type in more commands, eradicating Mr. Miller's bane of existence for good (or so you hope).
After running what felt like the tenth diagnostic of the night and downing three cups of coffee for the last three hours, the dawn of a new day streaks through the sheer curtains against your window. With bated breath, you restart Joel's system once more, closing your eyes until the familiar chime of Windows 11 booting up reaches your ears.
Please, please, please for fucks sake... no more pop-ups...
Joel's home screen pops up in an instant, the photo of him and his two girls smiling back at you as you breathe in a sigh of relief. "Fuck yes! Finally!" you silently exclaim, a drawn-out yawn and a deep stretch escaping your body as you settle your laptop on your couch. "Okay, let's just run a few programs and check a few documents to make sure they're not corrupted and then I can finally hit the sack..." you squint at the digital clock of your microwave, "and sleep for an hour before I have to get ready for work," you groan, eyeing the jar of Cafe Bustelo in the distance. Yep. No sleep for me, you think bitterly. Another night, another one of Mr. Miller's computer meltdowns...
Your eyes scan his desktop, opening up the PowerPoint file he needs for his presentation. It opens up with a slight lag, something you can optimize later but you breathe out another sigh of relief anyway. You check his internet browsing history, his late-night extensive porn viewing not a surprise to you anymore as you snort at the ridiculousness of it all. At least it's not as bad and kinky as Tommy's browsing history, you tell yourself, because you'll never quite get used to all of the roleplay porn he watches religiously, you think. Closing out of Google Chrome, You scan his desktop for a random Word doc for you to open, not checking its title as you double-click on the first one that you see, slightly hidden by the Recycle Bin icon to the bottom right. Wants? What kind of a file name is that?
The Word doc pops open, and it seems to be a running list of random things. You blearily scan the line items, your eyes widening in shock as you read on.
Fuck her against my office door as I cover her mouth to muffle her screams.
Spoil her with a shopping spree at Neiman's with my Amex black card.
Fulfill my breeding fantasy by convincing her to get off of her Birth Control (do you think she's on one?)
Fuck her from behind against Tess' desk (serves her right)
You quickly exit out of the document, pushing your laptop away as if it were cursed. You look at the document title once more.
Wants.
What the fuck was this? Who is he talking about? you ponder, the guilt of your negligence weighing on you like a weight tied to your ankles as you sink into the depths of the Atlantic. You shut your laptop for good measure, covering it up with your quilt as you shake your head in disbelief.
What the fuck did I just read?
“Mr. Miller? Do you have a moment?”
You knock on the office door once more for good measure, standing timidly as you try to occupy yourself by smoothing out your dress - sensible, a decent length, work appropriate, you think to yourself. You try to not occupy the idle time of waiting for your boss, Joel Miller, one half of Miller Construction- and the thing you found while remote logging onto his computer last night - I think I have a virus, his email stated - only to stumble upon something rather telling and personal - but he was your boss, and you were a professional, and you weren’t going to think about the list…
Kiss her in the rain.
Make love in my truck as she rides me.
Bend her over my desk and take her from behind.
Marathon sex
Eat her out as she works at her desk.
No, Joel was unequivocally your boss—older than you by at least a decade (and maybe a few more years, give or take), and the document titled "Wants" was clearly personal, likely intended for someone else, and certainly not meant to be seen by anyone, especially not an overly curious IT specialist like you. No, you reckon that this list was meant for someone else in the office - someone beautiful, sexy, and confident— someone decidedly who isn't you. Certainly not for someone who dresses like she’s still in college, who only recently began living on her own in a shoebox of an apartment (if you can call it that) after living with her parents for the majority of her adult life, and who barely has her life together. It’s pathetic, being a woman of a certain age and with nothing to show for it, still painfully single, nothing substantial to your name, only getting your life together now while everyone around you has done everything right. I feel so behind in life, you think to yourself.�� Who would want someone so pathetic as me?
It’s not like it’s a crime to have wants, you think to yourself. Everyone has them, including you, you reason. So what if you just so happen to stumble upon your boss's deepest (and somewhat depraved) desires? Doesn’t everyone have a bucket list of their desires written somewhere? So what if your older, attractive boss with his Gen X tendencies has it typed out on his work computer? It’s not like he meant for you to open up the Word doc, right?
You knew he was single. You also knew that he had kids, at least two—Sarah, his eldest, was the head of HR, and Ellie, his adoptive younger daughter, an apprentice working under Tommy, the other half of Miller Construction—a serial flirt who asked you about your dating life in your interview a few months back. No, you didn’t think about your boss and the sheer mass of man that he was, that he smelled like cedar and sandalwood, that he winks when he tells you good morning as you pass him in the parking lot while stumbling out of your less-than-impressive shitty Corolla. You also didn’t take note that he drinks his coffee black with a sprinkle of sugar—the one in the brown packet—or that he eats in his office instead of the employee lounge because he’s a messy eater. The deep red blush trailing down his neck as Tommy scolded him about his lack of table manners during a company-mandated team-building day wasn't proof enough of that.
There wasn’t a ring on that tell-tale finger, not even a tan line, no photographs of another woman on his desk—besides his daughters, of course. Not that you were looking. Tommy had his wife Maria come down to the office often enough; wouldn’t Joel be the same with his own?
Miller Construction prided itself on being a family-run company, with Joel and Tommy at the helm and their best friend Tess as VP—more the boss than the actual Miller brothers. While Joel and Tommy preferred the hands-on work on-site, Tess ruled over the office with an iron fist. No one dared to cross her.
"You've got one job, and one job only," she declared during your office tour. "Make sure no one spends the majority of their shift watching porn, and keep Joel from messing up his computer with his boomer-isms. We can't afford to keep replacing a laptop every six months."
"Isn't he in Gen X?" you ask. "... at 56 years old, he's still considered to be in that generation, right?"
"Technically, yes," Tess replies with an exasperated sigh. "But you know what I mean. Sometimes it feels like Joel is stuck in a time warp with his 'boomer-isms.' Just keep things running smoothly here, alright?"
As the days pass, you notice an unusual trend in Joel's computer issues. It seems that every time his laptop malfunctions, it coincides with a spike in suspicious internet activity. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots, and you can't help but shake your head at the irony of it all.
After a particularly eventful morning filled with more than the usual technical hiccups, you decide it's time to address the elephant in the room. You knock on Joel's office door, half-expecting him to be engrossed in some spreadsheet or construction plans.
It's not like you have to tell him about your snooping - he would be none the wiser judging by the way he was so technologically inept - you weren't about to tell him that the reason for the virus on the computer was because he was looking at some rather specific porn - boss fucks unsuspecting secretary from behind- his internet history had listed, nor did he probably think that his computer is being monitored, including his internet browsing history- company policy, as stated on the employee handbook that every employee of Miller Construction signs on the day of their official hiring- nor does he think that it sends reports to her at the end of the day.
You don't think about how the sudden uptick of his secretary porn viewing increased since a week after your hiring. It's just a coincidence, right?
“Mr. Miller?” You call out once more. “It’s about your IT request last night? I have an update?”
“Yeah? Sorry! Come on in!” you hear from behind the door, accompanied by the frantic shuffle of papers and a silent curse. You take a deep breath as your hand turns the doorknob. Silently, you shut the door behind you, offering a small smile as you smooth out the skirt of your dress once more.
You fidget in place in front of the door as Joel—Mr. Miller—in his green flannel and dark jeans slung just right—it really should be criminal, looking this ruggedly handsome for someone his age, you think—as he ungraciously flops onto his desk chair, motioning for you to take the seat in front of him as he clears his throat nervously. “Take a seat.”
You situate yourself in front of him, refusing to meet his eyes as you fiddle with your hands on your lap, wondering why he, out of all people, would be nervous. It's not like he stumbled upon something so... intimate. You are a professional, and you were only doing your job, you tell yourself like a mantra, trying to ground yourself. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like he would fire you over your accidental snooping, right? You nod to yourself. “So…”
“So…” he replies, Adam’s apple bobbing as he takes a drink of his coffee. “Thank you for taking a look at my computer last night.” He begins, smiling at you. “I know that it was late, and I’m willing to compensate your time by giving you time and a half…”
“Oh,” you nervously reply, shifting in your seat. “No, Mr. Miller—”
“Joel.”
“What?”
He shakes his head. “Please. We’re all family here. Call me Joel. Mr. Miller is my father for fuck's sake—”
“Right,” you chuckle. “Sure. Joel. Listen, you don’t need to compensate me for last night, let alone give me the overtime rate—”
“I emailed you at midnight; surely you were already busy, or I probably irritated your husband—”
“No.”
“No?”
“No,” you mumble solemnly, “there’s no husband, just me and my cat-“
He barks at that, the laugh so loud it makes you jump in your seat. He gives you a look, almost as if he was relieved with that bit of information. “Well, disturbing your cat, then-“
"Oh," you reply casually, waving your hands in dismissal. "I'm sure Sir Bubbles didn't mind... and I don't sleep much, really—"
"Oh?" He straightens himself, his face serious. "Is it because of all of my requests? Shit. My girls give me such a hard time about not being with the times, I'm not really interested in technology— So no husband? Boyfriend, then?"
"Uh, no," you reply quickly, not eager to delve into the details of your lackluster love life. You clear your throat, adopting a professional demeanor. "Joel, as you're aware—or maybe not," you chuckle nervously, "I receive reports of all employee internet histories at the end of the day. Being the sole IT specialist on your payroll—perks of the job, outlined in my duties—I keep an eye out for any... irregularities."
"Irregularities?" he replies, his demeanor shifting into something resembling guilt. "What are you trying to get at?" he presses.
"Well, I monitor employee computer usage to make sure that they're not... distracted from their work," you reply. "Tess was explicit about not having any employees using company time for any unnecessary personal... dalliances."
Joel gives you a hard look. "Dalliances?"
"Yes, dalliances. Tess told me it was an issue before, with employees browsing social media and visiting questionable Reddit threads?"
"I don't follow," Joel replies. "You gotta spell it out for me, Sugar. What does that have to do with my request last night? I had a late night at the office, and after... checking my emails," he gulps, "I suddenly get bombarded with these pop-up things, so much that I just... unplugged my laptop... and, well-"
How is he so oblivious about this? You bite your cheek in frustration, not knowing how to get to the point without having to spell it out for him that you caught him browsing porn last night, secretary porn at that, and although it's highly inappropriate, you hardly think he was watching it because of Gladys, his actual secretary, who is old enough to be his mother. Not unless he has some weird mommy kink...
Unable to endure the suspense any longer, you decide to rip the bandaid off as soon as possible. “I’m sorry!” You exclaim, “I didn't mean to look at your browsing history, I mean, I had to, but only because I had to find the reason why a virus got on your computer, but that is not the point! I had to open a file to make sure it wasn't corrupted, and I swear, I didn't mean to open it!"
“Open what, sweetheart?” he smiles at you, leaning forward towards you.
"Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal."
“Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-"
You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Joel visibly pales at your confession. He adjusts his collar, unbuttoning the second button as if he were being strangled by your scrutiny. “I just want to let you know", he starts, looking you in the eye with an unreadable expression. "I respect you as a woman, and Tommy, fuck, he wouldn’t let it go, with all that teasing about you being exactly my type and all, and well, your mother did remind me about your little crush on me back then-“ he rubs his hands through his hair as he rambles on, “… and I know that this looks bad, with you being my employee and all-“
“Wait, what?” You cut him off, a confused look on your face. “What do you mean? I mean, they're your personal preferences, and the list, well, I'm sure whoever you're writing about must be some woman, not that it's any of my business-”
“Fuck. You didn’t read all of it?”
“No!” You exclaim, practically jumping out of your seat. “I quickly closed it once I realized the nature of the document…”
“Well.” He stands up suddenly, pacing behind his desk. “I wrote that drunkenly one night after the company dinner, you know, the one when you wore that dress… do you remember?”
“Yes,” you reply breathily, “… the night where-“
You vividly recall that night. It was a dinner at the recently completed new hotel project. After a few glasses of wine and an impulsive, rather expensive purchase at Nordstrom.com a week prior, you endured most of the evening in an uncomfortably tight and overly revealing dress—a poor choice for a company party, for fucks sake. You believed Joel approached you at the end of the night out of sheer pity, not because—
“Well… after seeing you in that dress, and how stunning you looked in it, sitting by yourself, biting your lip in a way that makes me-“ he stops himself, giving you a small smile. “I was drunk, and I was thinking… I was contemplating how, if I were to have you, if you, by some miracle of fate… were interested, that I would do things right, you know? That if I had a second chance at… I would do it right. Treat you right.”
“You do know I’m not a secretary, let alone your secretary,” you roll your eyes. “I’m in IT… the only person in IT actually, and you’re not the first person I caught looking at questionable porn…”
Joel bristles at that. “Shit. Let me guess… Tommy?”
That gets a small smile out of you. “I can neither confirm nor deny, but… he’s partial towards a certain porn actress, and let’s just say he is really in love with women who looks like his wife.”
He smiles. "Shit, I thought I was being obvious enough, being that Tommy has teased me about it enough... I thought you knew. I know you work with computers, Sugar. I’m not completely senile, and I know Tess has been on a warpath about people getting their rocks off at work, I figured you would look at all of my… perusing.”
You're left stunned, your mind racing to process what Joel just revealed. It's not the revelation about his desires that leaves you speechless, but the unexpected admission of his feelings toward you. Your mind flashes back to the list, the desires that seemed so out of reach for someone like you. You never thought Joel would be harboring any feelings for you, let alone express them so openly.
"I... I had no idea," you stammer, still grappling with the revelation. "I thought that list was for someone else, someone... not me."
Joel walks around the desk, his eyes never leaving yours. "You thought wrong, sweetheart. I've been trying to drop hints, but I guess I've been subtler than I thought."
A myriad of emotions wash over you — confusion, surprise, and a hint of something you can't quite place. The professional boundary between boss and employee seems to blur, and you find yourself in uncharted territory.
"But," he continues, "I get it. I'm your boss, and this is complicated. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position. I should've been more direct."
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Joel, it's not about being direct or indirect. This is just... unexpected. I never thought someone like you would... feel that way about someone like me."
He reaches out, gently lifting your chin so you meet his gaze. "Someone like me? What does that even mean, darlin'? You're intelligent and beautiful, and I've seen the way you handle your work. I've noticed you, and I can't help how I feel."
A mixture of vulnerability and sincerity in his eyes makes it hard to doubt his words. You start to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, your insecurities have clouded your perception.
"I don't want to pressure you, and I understand if you're not comfortable with this. I just needed you to know. The last thing I want is for things to be awkward at work," he says, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.
You take a moment to absorb everything. Joel's revelation, your preconceptions, and the unexpected turn of events. The office, once a familiar space, now feels like uncharted territory.
"I need time to process this," you finally say. "It's a lot to take in, Joel. I never expected... any of this."
He nods understandingly, his hand dropping to his side. "Take all the time you need. I'll respect whatever decision you make. And hey, if you're not interested, we can go back to being boss and employee, like nothing happened."
You manage a small smile, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll... let you know. Just give me some time, okay?"
"Of course," he says, moving back toward his desk. "And, for what it's worth, I meant every word on that list. Whether it's a rain kiss or making love in my truck, I want it all with you."
You nod, silently acknowledging his sincerity. As you leave his office, you can't help but wonder how a routine IT request led to such a revelation. The office dynamics have shifted, and you find yourself navigating uncharted waters, unsure of where this unexpected revelation will lead.
As you walk away from Joel's office, a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts consumes your mind. The revelation about Joel's feelings for you is a shock, but it's not the only thing echoing in your head. The list of desires he had penned down only magnifies your own insecurities. The voice in your mind grows louder, whispering that you're not the woman he deserves—too much of a mess, too behind in life, and certainly not beautiful enough for someone like him. The echoes of your perceived inadequacies replay like a broken record, drowning out the possibility that someone could genuinely see something valuable in you. You glance at your reflection in the office window, critiquing every imperfection, every perceived flaw. The dress that seemed sensible before now feels like a sad attempt to disguise what you believe is a lack of style or grace. The weight of self-doubt becomes an invisible burden, and you can't shake the feeling that you're not enough, that you may never be enough for someone like Joel.
As you grapple with your internal struggles, a small spark of defiance begins to flicker within you. Perhaps it's time to challenge those self-limiting beliefs, to be bolder than your insecurities allow. Joel's admission has opened a door you never expected, and you find yourself at a crossroads. Despite the echoes of doubt, a newfound courage whispers that maybe, just maybe, you can be more than what you perceive.
Embracing this sudden surge of determination, you make a decision. Instead of letting fear dictate your actions, you choose to confront the uncertainties head-on. Swallowing the apprehension that threatens to hold you back, you turn on your heel and head back to Joel's office. The faint thud of your own heartbeat echoes in your ears as you push open the door.
"Joel," you say, your voice steadier than you anticipated. "I've been thinking about what you said, and I need you to clarify something for me."
He looks up from his desk, curiosity etched across his features. "Sure, what's on your mind?"
You take a deep breath, suppressing the self-doubt that still lingers. "Is that list something you genuinely desire with me, or was it just a drunken fantasy?"
Joel's eyes lock onto yours, a mix of surprise and sincerity in his gaze. "Every word of it is something I want with you. Why?"
A daring smile plays on your lips as you respond, "Then let's not leave it as a list, Joel. Let's see how many of those desires we can turn into reality."
The room seems to hold its breath for a moment as Joel's expression shifts from surprise to a slow, understanding smile. The air thickens with anticipation, leaving the next steps uncertain but filled with the promise of something new and exhilarating. As you stand on the precipice of this unexpected journey, the uncharted waters of possibilities lie ahead, and you find yourself ready to take the plunge.
Taglist: @gwendibleywrites, @joeldjarin, @brittmb115
For more updates on all of my fics, please follow @chiriwritesstuffnotifs
All dividers by @saradika-graphics
#pedro pascal#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller x female reader#joel the last of us#joel tlou#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#tlou hbo#tlou fic#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfic
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Hiiii I’m currently fighting a summer cold and it got me thinking…
Could you write how WayV would take care of you when you’re sick? Just some simple wholesome fluff :) thank you!!!
wayv when you're sick ₊˚⊹♡
how they would comfort and take care of you
content : fluff fluff fluff
kun
by your side every step of the way thru your recovery (at a distance). would come over every morning to make you breakfast, make sure you eat a good lunch, then bring over dinner before he stays over. you tell him he doesn't need to do all of this, but who is he to not help the person he loves? would come over during his breaks to check your temperature, make sure you're feeling ok and getting the rest you need. the days he can't stay over with you, he waits until you're asleep before placing a kiss on your forehead and heading home.
ten
knows better than to not get himself sick because of you. would tell you to stay over at his house and use the spare bedroom until you're better, with the cats being there for comfort as a bonus. would come home with groceries for the week of things that you would need to get better. would sit next to you holding your hand on the side of your bed until you fell asleep everyday, placing a kiss on your hand when you went to bed.
winwin
feels bad because of his busy schedule that he can't be there with you. calls you every moment he gets, just to see how you're doing. you tell him not to send you anything, but he just has to. he doordashes you food, heating pads, drinks, anything you need. you'll bring up something very vaguely and the next day it'll show up at your doorstep. at the end of his week, he'll cancel all weekend plans to go visit you.
xiaojun
if it was any of his members that got sick and wanted him to help, he would think that it was a joke. but xiaojun has a soft spot for you. "what does my baby need to feel better?" he would ask when he came over, placing the back of his palm over your forehead, eyes widening when he feels how hot you are (although, some of that redness was how your face heated up when he called you baby.) i feel like he would try to keep a distance, but fail at it. he would miss you too much, wondering what you were doing wile you were sick and he was at work.
hendery
would text you throughout the day to make sure you're alive (for some reason he thinks you're gonna die if he doesn't text you every 10 mins). try to cheer you up with his little jokes throughout the day. he wouldn't know what to get you, not wanting to get the wrong thing. you laugh and tell him what you need, and he brings it over after work.
yangyang
would probably joke around how he can't be near you because you're icky and would get him sick. when your cold doesn't wear off in 2 days, he'd show up at your door with all the essentials you need to feel better, joking about how you should stay away from him when you try to hug him. a week goes by and he's starting to miss you, giving into you being isolated from him and risking getting sick just so he can be with you, he missed being in bed cuddling you.
a/n : thank u for requestinggg! sorry this was so short, the brain juices are not flowing rn lol. hope u enjoyed :3 lmk your thoughts (good and bad!) reqs open
#nct imagines#nct reactions#kpop imagines#kpop reactions#wayv imagines#wayv reactions#kpop scenarios#wayv fic#wayv fanfic#wayv x reader#wayv scenarios#nct fic#nct fanfic#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct fluff#wayv fluff#nct x you#wayv x you#wayv headcanons#nct headcanons#xiaojun x reader#ten x reader#hendery x reader#kun x reader#winwin x reader#yangyang x reader
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NCT Dream and who’s taking the couch
pairing: nct dream members x reader (gender neutral)
type: scenario
summary: how the nct dream members deal with arguments and who’s taking the couch when things get too heated
warnings: mentions of arguing
a/n: please read info before requesting 🤍
masterlist | info
———————————
mark- genuinely confused and conflicted. he’s mad too and knows you both just need some space right now but he doesn’t want you taking the couch. as comfortable as your couch is, it’s not that comfortable to sleep on… according to his brother who came to visit. he’ll probably end up going to the dorms or staying with one of the other boys but he leaves you with a kiss and reminds you that he still loves you.
renjun- he doesn’t really have a choice. you’ve already gotten a blanket and you’re on the couch, kicking him out of the living room. he sighs and sits in the door way of your shared bedroom. technically he’s “out” of the living room but he falls asleep in the door frame. your heart breaks when you get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and he’s there, slumped over. you kiss his cheeks to wake him up and sleepily lead him over to the bed. “you owe me a neck massage” he mumbles before going back to bed.
jeno- STUBBORN! if you need the space he’s more than willing to let you have it. and he’s too heated (aries in his chart) to even think about swapping places with you but he’s still a softie so he can’t bring himself to shut the door on you. one of you is going to cave it’s just a matter of who will do it first. did i mention jeno was stubborn?
haechan- “fine! i won’t stop you!” but it only take about 10 mins before he’s out there whining about how cold the bed is without you and lays on top of you. as much as he likes to tease that you’re obsessed with him, he’s even more obsessed with you.
jaemin- lord, the ego in this argument, bless his heart. but as soon as you mention that you’re gonna take the couch he stops. he thinks of the nights when he’s on tour and you’re not there. he’s made promises to himself that he has to keep, namely never taking you for granted and never missing an opportunity to fall asleep with you in his arms (and vice versa. we love a little spoon). so he takes a deep breath, swallows his pride, and asks you to reconsider. either that or he’ll just sleep on the couch with you and then you’ll both be grumpy the next day.
chenle- he knows you have to have your way so he relents but he’d much rather make up. he doesn’t sleep at all, he’s just on his phone, looking at his collection of photos of you he has, making himself sadder before you come to the door ready to make up.
jisung- feisty when he gets angry, pretty much matching your energy but he still cares for you more than anything. as soon as you mention sleeping on the couch he immediately says no and that he’ll take it if you need space. but he comes to the door a few hours later complaining that he’s cold
#kpop#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#nct#nct reactions#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream headcanons#nct dream reactions#nct dream#mark lee#renjun#jeno#haechan#jaemin#chenle#jisung nct
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A Simpler Life [Part 3]
word count: 2296 || avg. reading time: 10 mins.
pairing: post-time skip Kita x chubby!Reader
genre: fluff, slice of life, mutual pining, neighbors to lovers
warnings: spoilers
synopsis: In pursuit of a calmer, simpler life you flee the city to move to the countryside - only to fall in love with your neighbor.
[part 1] [part 2]
The next day you waited in the front yard for him on his way home and invited him for dinner again. And the day after that. And after that. Before long, you offered a standing dinner invitation and he happily accepted.
Now Kita’s steps quickened when he called it a day. It became rarer that he stayed until sundown to maybe do something that could be easily taken care of tomorrow. Having dinner with you every night was almost as if … almost like… coming home to you. The first thing he did when he stepped through your gate was go check on your plants. The tomatoes were doing really well and your radishes, while a bit on the puny side, also weren't too shabby. He wound a few of the newly formed pea vines around the trellis, then went to knock on your door.
A wonderful smell wafted in his nose but his heart only jumped when he saw you. You were setting the table, an apron around your plump hips, your hair tied up to a bun. It took every ounce of self control he had not to greet you with “I‘m home“. But maybe you‘d find it funny if he did? He tucked the thought away for later. Right now he dusted off his clothes, took off his shoes and stepped inside.
With the rainy season came a new routine for Kita. He loved this time of year because his fields thrived in this weather and it was fun for him to go check on their growth every other day when there was a break from the downpour. While the rain splattered loudly on the roofs and puddle-strewn streets, he stayed inside, doing the paperwork that came with farming, going over numbers and making phone calls to ensure the supply chain was in order once it was time to harvest mid fall. Before, he would have used the remaining time in his days to read or do some maintenance around his home, fixing little things he noticed or building a new piece of sturdy furniture to then deliver to his grandmother in the little hamlet he grew up in 40 minutes away. And while he did do all those things, he made very sure to keep aside more time for you as well. You met up in town for a cup of tea or to go to the grocery store together or drove to a neighboring town for a famous fish market he had told you about, eating your fill of gorgeously fresh sashimi and having a drink under the beautiful traditional awnings of the shops while looking out onto the stormy waves of the ocean. You never called it a date. You always made sure to refer to it as an “outing” and while he was glad to spend time with you, no matter what it was called, he couldn’t help but deflate a little whenever you clarified it to the people in your town who had gotten curious and suspicious about how often you two were spotted together. “Our Kita never spends this much time with anyone, let alone a pretty thing like ya. Ya should pay Yumie a visit soon, I reckon.”, one of the grandmothers had noted the other day and Kita had vehemently shaken his head behind your back to make her stop. The last thing he needed was word getting back to his grandma. She would want to meddle or as she would put it “help”. She would probably invite you over for dinner and ask all kinds of embarrassing questions, strongly hinting at the fact that she wasn’t getting any younger and Kita should hurry up and give her a pretty wedding and plenty of great-grandchildren. It wouldn’t matter that her grandson hadn’t made any romantic advances to you yet or that you perhaps didn’t even see children in your future. In all honesty, Kita would be happy with whatever you wanted. You would want children? Alright, he could get started on that straight away as far as he was concerned. You would want to spend your days with him alone and get those little goats you were gushing over the other day? He would gladly comply and build their enclosure as soon as you’d say the word. But as much as he was yours, you weren’t his. He was accompanying you on outings and although you were incredibly sweet and initiated contact often, he had learned that this was just the way you were. And he was foolish to read anything else into it.
He almost didn‘t hear the knock over the rain. It was early in the morning and he sat on his couch with a cup of tea and a book but looked up when he heard your voice calling his name.
Opening the door he came face to face with a pitiful pout.
“My home flooded.“, you announced.
“What?“
��Apparently the roof isn‘t roofing as it should and now there is a huge puddle in my living room.“
A few minutes later he stood in your doorway, marveling at the myriad of blankets and towels laid out on the floor while in the middle of the room a big flower printed bucket was steadily filling up with water trickling in from the ceiling.
He would have a word with the town‘s realtor later for selling you a house that was anything less than perfect.
“Once the rain calms down a little I’ll have a look at it. Weather report said it should be dry in the afternoon.”
You threw him a hopeful smile.
“Really? Thank you so much! Can I make you lunch in return?”
He shook his head and upon seeing your face falter he immediately followed it with, “Ya’ve been cooking for me for weeks. Lemme do it for once.”
Personally, you thought you deserved an award for not drooling all over Kita‘s kitchen table. Seeing him shake out his wet hair when he returned from a quick run to the greenhouse for some fresh veggies was already testing you but now he was preparing said fresh veggies to turn into omurice and you were just about ready to lose your mind. There was something so wonderfully cozy and domestic about seeing this man prepare his produce with a little unconscious smile on his lips. His shoulders, broadened by the field work, moved smoothly as he fried the rice and you didn‘t hear him at first when he asked you a question, because your thoughts were somewhere else entirely. The meal immediately turned into your new favorite dish and his cheeks blushed when you couldn’t stop gushing about how good his rice tasted. You learned a while ago that it was a big source of pride for him when people complimented his produce, so you made sure to do it whenever possible, suppressing all the squeaks rising in your throat when you saw him turn shy. As you two enjoyed lunch, he requested more stories about your traveling and how you came to Japan, listening intently and asking for more details here and there. Laying a hand on your well-filled tummy you leaned back and let your eyes wander through his pristine home and out the open window, watching the continuous streams of collected rain drizzling from the shingles of the porch awning. Your eyes fell onto the little open shed next to his gate and the curled up form of his dog lazing around underneath.
“Shouldn’t we let him in?”, you asked and Kita followed your gaze.
“Hm? Why? Roku is a guard dog. He lives outside.”
“But… it’s wet outside.”, you mumbled.
“It’s nice in the hay, I promise.”
“Hm…”
“Don’t worry, he is doing well. If he’d be in here he couldn’t do his job properly to guard ya.”
Using his chopsticks, Kita placed a red bean mochi for dessert on a small plate with more fresh strawberries and handed it to you. You accepted and chewed the sweet treat thoughtfully, still looking outside, unaware of his adoring smile.
The rain did let up in the afternoon just as predicted and together you carried a ladder and some supplies over to your house. You insisted on helping and although you couldn‘t do much to assist, you noted that you could still cheer him on and make sure the ladder didn‘t fall.
Moving slowly on the wet roof he went to work. The leak was fortunately nothing major and it didn‘t take long to fix. On his way back to the ladder however -
He drew in a sharp breath when he felt a muscle pull in his shoulder.
“Oh my gosh, are you alright?“, he heard you call from the ground.
“Yeah. Just slipped.“
Kita almost missed a step on his way down when he suddenly felt your hand supporting his back. He was really trying not to enjoy you fussing over him but when you led him inside and ordered him to sit on your couch while you prepared an ice pack, he couldn‘t help but play it up eeever so slightly. And then regretted it instantly when you offered to apply a muscle relaxant balm. Ears and cheeks burning, stomach stirring, skin tingling and thoughts racing, Kita focused on a wood knot on your floor, telling himself to calm down as you rubbed the balm onto his shoulder.
With the start of the new week he was once again busy with errands in town and the city and only got to see you for your daily dinner - by now his favorite part of the day. When he got home on Friday night, he was surprised that Roku didn‘t come to greet him as he stepped out of his car. Kita looked around and found the black and white dog snuggled in the open shed in his usual space but now lounging luxuriously on a very plush dark blue pillow. He sighed as he knelt down to pet the soft floppy ears, Roku blinking sleepily up at him but not moving from his new bed.
It looked like you made it yourself, it even had the dog’s name embroidered on the side.
“She really spoils us both, hm?“, Kita muttered and Roku grumbled in agreement.
And so, with another sigh, he decided to confess to you. Soon. Even if just for his own peace of mind.
Once you had left after dinner and he was alone with his thoughts, Kita tried to focus on his book but his mind kept wandering. He had never confessed to anyone before. Quite honestly, as much as his grandmother would have been disappointed, he had been fully prepared to be alone for the rest of his days. He never would have guessed that a gorgeous foreigner from the city would take up residence in his heart. You reminded him of the little wild tulips that dotted the fields with white each new spring. They had always been his favorite because although maybe unassuming and almost delicate at first glance, when you looked closer they were resilient and just… beautiful. He should probably write you a letter to let him choose his words carefully. Yes. And he’d deliver the letter to your doorstep to then patiently wait for your response.
“Did ya already get this one?“, you asked. Deciding to use the break in between downpours Kita had suggested to do some pruning in your veggie patch. The soil was soaked and muddy but the stone plates he had laid down a few weeks ago kept both of you from sinking in.
He smiled and nodded, working on the tomato plants while you went over to trim the superfluous sprouts from the bell peppers. He noticed some days ago that you had started to use his dialect in a few words here and there and every time it happened, his stomach did a little somersault.
“Thank you, by the way. For everything else, too.“, you said suddenly. He looked at you for a moment before continuing his task.
“Don‘t worry about it. It‘s not a big deal.“
“I don‘t just mean the pruning. I mean everything. It‘s a huge deal!“, you exclaimed, “You helped me with my garden, I don‘t know what you did to that realtor but I got compensation for the leaky roof and a whole handwritten apology letter. You give me advice, share your phenomenal produce for free, built me a planter, fixed my roof“, you gave a nervous chuckle while he blushed at the list of your appreciation, “and you mean to tell me none of that is a big deal?“
“Because they‘re only natural when ya love someone.“, he shrugged and froze a moment later mid-snip when he realized what he had just said.
“What?“
“I…“
“You… you love me?“
He took a deep silent breath. “Well… yeah.“, he then said in a tone as if confirming the sky was blue, “I thought it was rather obvious.“
When you didn‘t respond, he went back to pruning, trying to exude his usual air of calm but his heart pounded in his chest. There it was. And you didn‘t say anything. So you didn‘t feel the same after all. But at least it was out now. He examined the leaf of a momotaro tomato when he felt your hand on his cheek, turning his head to you. His eyes widened when your lips touched his. Short at first. You looked at him, probably waiting for a reaction, then leaned in again.
Kita squeezed his eyes shut to drown out the rushing sound in his ears. With trembling hands he needed two attempts to get the gloves off his hands so he could cup your cheeks and pull you closer.
a/n: This is truly everything I love 😌 I loved writing it! The next part will be spicy so if you’d rather keep this story sfw this is where the “important plot” ends 🌟
art: coloring done by @keiko-chan
[part 4]
#kita x chubby reader#kita shinsuke x chubby reader#haikyuu x chubby reader#chubby reader#haikyuu fluff#kita shinsuke x y/n#kita shinsuke x you#kita shinsuke x reader#haikyuu kita#kita shinsuke#kita fluff#hq kita#kita x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x curvy reader#haikyuu x y/n
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YES CONTINUE A POSION PARADISE
YERRRRR lets go
tell me ur thoughts! <3
taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #4
masterlist
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it’s jimin’s party today
[a/n: i been obsessed w this outfit so i imagine reader wearing sth like this cause its so cute idc if u dont like it]
you go there by foot bc it’s not that far, like a 10 min walk
your feet in these heels are killing you but it doesn’t matter when you look that good
once you arrive, jimin pulls you in for a hug, thanking you for coming
ur not THATTT close w jimin, ur closer w joon and tae
but ur still on friendly terms w jimin
at least way friendlier than jk
its not awkward between u and jimin and u often talk abt ur love for cats and pop culture
unlike u and jk. u can count the amount of convos u’ve had with that loser on one hand and half of those were this month
jimin leads you to taehyung and unfortunately
jungkook is sitting
right beside tae
jk’s wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. his hair is wavy and there are silver rings decorating his pretty fingers
you haven’t seen them since that evening at tae’s and it’s been 3 days since
tae texted u a couple times but ur replies were pretty short to him
and u feel kinda bad
cause its not taes fault??
but ur stubborn. and stupid
tae hands jungkook his solo cup and jumps up from the couch, lunging straight at you
he hugs you tightly, swaying with you from left to right
“i’m glad you made it! all these people are boring,” taehyung says into your ear, squeezing your frame
you chuckle and pull away, hitting his shoulder
he holds you back by your shoulders. “you look good. you came to break hearts.” he nudges your hip with his
he’s soooo annoying
but the compliment is rising to your head
your relationship w tae is like a brother or cousin
he’ll only tell you you look good if you actually look good
and he’ll tell you if you look like shit
“come, sit with us,” he says as he makes some extra space on the couch. he takes the seat next to jungkook
thats when you remember that jungkook is here.
you pretend you don’t notice him though
and he seems to be doing the same thing
asshole.
you don’t really feel like drinking tonight so you decline tae’s offer of getting you something to drink
you spend the next twenty minutes listening to tipsy taehyung rambling about his call of duty wins
yawn
you get up and tae instantly tugs on your wrist
“where u going?”
you sigh. “bathroom. i’ll be right back.”
he nods and lets go of your wrist, turning to jungkook to continue his uninteresting conversation
you push your way through the sea of sweaty and smelly bodies
there’s a pair making out in front of the bathroom door so you push past them as well and enter the bathroom
you lock the door and take care of your business
you wash your hands and glance at yourself in the mirror, fixing your makeup a bit before turning on your heels and unlocking the door
just as you unlock the door, the door swings open
uhh
you did not do that
like u did not open the door it just swung open on its own.
in that split second you think it’s someone who desperately needs to use the bathroom
but your heart drops straight into your ass when you make eyecontact
with
jeon
jung
fucking
kook
THE FUCKKK
you can’t even understand what’s happening
you can barely react
when jungkook
suddenly
and gently
pushes you back into the bathroom by your waist
his hands are respectfully placed but it still sends a shiver up your spine and down all your limbs
haha
wow
😂😂😂😂
jungkooks hands on your waist for a few seconds
who wouldve thought
he walks in and shuts the door behind him
and you know you’re not going crazy but was that… the click
of
the
door
locking????
did he just? lock the door??
you look up at him, lips parted but not a single word on your tongue for him
he leans against the closed door and shoves his hands into his pockets
you frown at him, confused on why he’s trapping you in the bathroom
“what the hell, dude?” your annoyance is clear in the tone of your voice
cause what the HELL jungkook???
“i couldn’t find any other proper moment to come talk to you,” he says but you can’t bring yourself to believe him when he’s got a shit-eating grin on his lips
you roll your tongue against the inside of your cheek and cross your arms over your chest. “talk?”
what could he possibly want to talk about with you???
“yeah. i said i didn’t like you but i hope you know it was a joke. i’m sorry it didn’t come across that way.”
you drag your eyes slowly down his figure, hoping you look like you’re judging the fuck out of him
but he doesn’t react
in
the
slightest
“is that all?” you ask as you make eye contact with him again.
he stares at you for a moment longer before pushing himself off the door, closing the distance between you two
you automatically take a step back but your bum is already pressed against the sink, leaving you with nowhere to go
fuck
FUCK
why is he getting closer still
he stops right in front of you, tips of his shoes touching yours
body menacingly looming over yours, making you tilt your chin to look up at him
he stares you down, tongue playing with the double lip rings in the corner of his bottom lip
fuck he’s hot
like fuck. he’s so hot
he says, “tae was right, you know.”
you scrunch your brows together and struggle to find your voice. you compose yourself quickly though
“about?”
he answers right away. “you look real fucking good.”
ah
hahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
😂😂😂😂😂😂
right right
😂😂😂😂
so funny.
his voice is so sultry and the way he’s staring you down like he’s enjoying the view. like he wants to devour you whole
it almost makes your knees buckle
GIRL GET IT TOGETHER
he’s literally your junior be serious
you try to stand your ground
no you HAVE to
the fuck you look like being weak in front of this little shit
“thanks. anything else?”
wowww bitchy much?
he stares at you for a moment longer before shaking his head. “nope.”
“good. get out of my way then.” you wave your fingers back and forth to tell him to get lost
he chuckles and steps aside, watching as you push past him and leave him to stare at your retreating ass
you make your way back to where tae was but he’s gone
of course he is
you look around the room, annoyed with all the people dancing and shoving up against you
all of a sudden, a hand on your shoulder makes you slightly jump
you turn and see tae
PHEWWW thought u were gonna get harassed or something
“y/n, you haven’t drank anything yet, right?” he slurs his words and you roll your eyes
this can only mean he wants you to do something
“jungkook wants to go home but he has a speaker jimin really wants. do you mind walking home with him and bringing the speaker back with you?”
what
literally what😭
“please?” he says as soon as he sees the doubt on your face
you sigh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness. “i can’t believe you’re asking me to do that.”
he frowns. “what? i’ve asked you to come to my place at night too.”
“i’m not talking about walking at night, i’m talking about making me go with jungkook.”
“he hasn’t apologized yet?”
huh
how’d he know jk was going to apologize?
“how do you know he wanted to apologize?”
“because it’s jungkook.” he rubs his nose and looks around before looking back at you. “have you ever seen him at a party before? he came to this party just to apologize to you cause he knew you’d come and he wouldn’t have another opportunity. that’s why he’s already leaving despite only having been here for like half an hour.”
you don’t know if that’s just tae being drunk or if he’s actually telling you the truth
bc why
why is that
so
sweet?
were you being dramatic? 😭😭
for being mean to him??
over something so silly
u kinda were lowkey babes.
you sigh softly.
“alright.”
to be continued
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Hello, it's been a while since I did a rant. But WARNING for gross medical things:
SO it turns out my old nemesis the ovarian cysts have plagued me again. I found out about three weeks ago when a weird pain wouldn't leave my pelvis and went to urgent care and they suggested a CT scan. ONLY! for my insurance to deny me cuz they think I needed more probable cause for one so my doctor just recommended I go to the ER (which ironically is way more expensive for insurance to pay for than a simple CT scan but they did it to themselves lol).
Turns out I have cysts on BOTH of my ovaries FUN. But the left one is very concerningly big and probably needs to be removed but I can only do so by getting an approval of an OBGYN. So after finding one and waiting for my blood tests to come back so she can determine if she can surgically remove it--
YESTERDAY I had a SUDDEN AND SEVERE pain that hit me. I was at a solid 10 on that pain scale and vomiting and sweating so I drove myself to the ER again for the second time in two weeks. Frustratingly, the MALE doctor came back and was just like "well it looks like while we were doing your ultrasound you weren't consistently experiencing pain" which I was ready to bite his head off because let me tell you. While I was laying stretched out letting them do the ultrasound I was in the worst pain the ENTIRE time. And it was not a short ultrasound. It lasted over 20 mins and even after they asked me if I could survive sitting through the vaginal ultrasound after which would be another 25 mins. And those are painful just for the stick poking around in your yoohoo alone. I begged for pain relievers and when I described it they were like "oh that's labor level pains"
SO Mr. I don't have a Uterus doctor, DON'T TELL ME that your machine says I wasn't in pain. He even hit me with a "well I don't know what your pain tolerance is" as if to minimize or make me feel like I was overblowing what I was feeling. Like, fuck that guy. But because technically the imaging showed that the cysts haven't ruptured or caused my ovaries to twist it was considered "non emergent" and so the just gave me painkillers and then sent me home and reiterated that the only way I could get it removed at this point was to beg my OBGYN and convince her it was an emergency. In the meantime it was "oh you'll have to live with LABOR LIKE PAINS 24/7 until they let you have surgery." In the meantime they said I should only return to the ER after I've took all my pain meds and my pain doesn't improve OR if something worse happens. like a rupture.
WHICH btw are the exact same symptoms I have today so I was like how will I know cuz I can't imagine a worse pain than this one to which they were like "shrug"
I was in tears. Oh but it gets EVEN BETTER. Called my OBGYN this morning and she said my blood tests came back and that unfortunately they detected higher than usual levels of cancer markers in the cyst so that means she can't surgically remove them for me, she has to foist me to an Oncologist so THEY can remove it. She tries to say it doesn't necessarily MEAN cancer but hnnnnnggg that does not help with my anxiety at the moment.
Now calling the Oncologist to make an appointment today was a whole ordeal itself cuz their system kept going to voicemail so I had to call all the departments until they finally let me through but I had to run back to the hospital to try to get my Ultrasound discs for them. But even then they were like "your appointment isn't until next Wednesday" because THATS when the doctor meanders into work. So I'm like OH so like, in the meantime what if something happens??? And they're like well you gotta call back your OBGYN to see if you have other options. Which turns out she is also out. Until Tuesday. So I'm like. Guess I'll die then!
I don't even want kids!!! These ovaries have caused me nothing but trouble!!! Please rip them from my body!!
#And you know when you have nothing to do but curl up and google ovarian cancer#AND it tells you that the longest living patients on average live up to five years#it does make you spiral a bit#I feel like these entire two weeks the entire medical system won't believe me when I say it's an emergency#you sit here with this pain then#you do it#text post#rant#gross medical things
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I'm sorry
"Hey Universe, it's me again..." Marinette sigh speaking to the dark void of time.
"I have dealt with so much this past year but I'm finally graduating! I thought everything was going great and don't get me wrong it has but..." she took a deep breath.
"The boy I'm with... his family... I ... I just feel hopeless I act a certain way or say something and one of his siblings twist it to make it worst then it was. When I think things are working out and getting better between them and I then something else happens." She paused waiting for a response.
*sigh*
"I have thought about ending things with him every time we argue or have a disagreement especially when his family causes it. But I love him I say all of these scenarios and he answers them, but I can tell they annoy him. I can't blame him they can be pretty realistic."
silence
"He always reassures me but today things were hard... I was blamed for things I didn't do or even intentionally did and I snapped... I told him I was done with his family I didn't want to be involved anymore and that no matter what I did it was bad. I didn't want to feel like I'm a bother, so I was separating myself from them. But when I looked at him, he just stayed silent and didn't look at me."
"I've been thinking of ending things even if I love him Paris needs me and I'm so close I can't afford losing now. I don't want him to feel like he needs to choose between them or me. I know he acts like he doesn't care for them, but he does he loves them, and I know building those relationships was hard for him I couldn't separate that. "
silence
"I'm sorry I came here just to rant... I wanted to feel, and you always listen. Thank you I promise to bring down Hawkmoth and restore balance." Begins to stand up to open a portal back.
steps can be heard coming her way and she turns around.
"I thought you didn't want to be seen toda-" Marinette's eyes widen.
"I'm sorry Marinette."
"Damian...I"
" I know..."
"but how.. you...since when.. I .. how did you get here?" Everything started to spin
"calm down Mari let me explain." Slowly started to approach as though she was a injured animal.
"I- I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry I" She was close to a panic attack.
"Habibti it's okay look at me.. they brought me here."
"I'm sorry I made you feel this way.. emotions are something I still struggle with but it is no excuse to make you feel this way. My family they are wary people and see you as someone you're not."
Marinette was still looking down.
"Please look at me, Habibti please look at me. I love you. Only you. I will fix everything just give me a chance." Damian pleaded looking straight into her eyes.
*****I wrote this in 10 min just to get it out so typos, grammar, etc may be there lmk ... this was inspired by an experience I felt and thought this could've happen to Mari if the family of Damian was trying to find faults in her because they were suspicious and how after dealing with so much, she didn't want to deal with anymore and wants to end things. I can also see Damian because he still is learning how to communicate doesn't realize how bad things have gotten and do to the universe intervening, he realizes he may lose the girl he +-loves. ***
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Wings of Dusk pt. 10
AzrielxReader + HelionxReader
Warnings: abuse. War
I just wanted to thank everyone who's been patient with me. I've had two emergency surgeries and a death in my family so it's taken me second. I appreciate everyone support so much!!
“Cassain! Where is he Rhysand?” You had burst into the camps healing tent. It had been a month since the fight between you and Azriel. A month since you’d been Mated to Helion. Unfortunately for the two of you the wall had fallen the next day and since then there had been battle after battle. You didn’t have time to talk about it or let any one know and right now as you were standing soaked in blood waiting to see if Cassain was ok it was the furthest thing from your mind.
“He’s going to be ok Y/n’ it was then that Rhysand had actually looked at you. Soaked in blood your white leathers had turned crimson red a long time ago. There were bags under your eyes and dried blood in your hair. He didn’t know where the blood stopped and you begun. He knew that you were exhausted. You all were but he had watched you slash your way through half of Hyberns army. Knew that you were pulling more that your fair share of the force on the ground while him and his brothers took to the sky. He had watched you time and time again from the sky jump in front of your men ready to die for every single one of them but here you stood unharmed.
“Y/n you need to rest please” he hoped that you would listen because having you and Feyre out there fighting was too much. He couldn’t afford to loose anyone in his family but he had lost You and Feyre once and couldn’t… wouldn’t do it again. With Feyre he could always feel the bond know in a second if something was wrong. He couldn’t do the same for you at all. He could get Feyre to rest. Could plead with her to fall back and Feyre would always understand respect his worry. With you he couldn’t tell or ask you to do anything. If he told you to pull back you pushed forward. If he said take a break you’d work twice as hard. He didn’t know how to protect you because you wouldn’t let him or anyone.
“I’m fine Rhysand” hearing this Rhys got visibly agitated. His weight shifted from foot to foot. It took real effort on his part not to roll his eyes into the back of his head.
“You are not fine. None of us are fine but you haven’t taken more then 15 mins since the first battle. You need to take a break. I mean seriously y/n when was the last time you slept.?”
Your brother was right you were not fine but to be honest you didn’t know how to be. There was something about war…you couldn’t just sit and do nothing. Couldn’t sleep when you could be training or coming up with battle strategies. You couldn’t do nothing when your family…your men were risking their lives and could be dead any second. This was where everything you’d ever been taught came into play. Where years of insisted perfection paid off. Because anything less then perfection out on that battle field could cost you and somebody else there life. You were prepared to die every time you stepped out of your tent. Ready to give your life for anyone of your soldiers on that field.
“I know your worried about me brother. The same as I’m worried about you. But just as you can’t promise me you will live, I can’t promise you either. However I can keep the promise we made as children.” With that you had told Rhys to update you about Cassain, gave him a hug and exited the tent. You remembered back to that promise Rhys and you had made centuries ago. You remembered that night like it was a week ago.
“Father I think maybe it would be wiser not to involve Rhysand in this war.” You pleaded for your brothers safety to your father. You knew that you were walking a very dangerous line but you had to try. Hell your mother had even requested you to “talk some sense into your father” which of course she didn’t need to do she had asked while you were already on the way to his office. Whenever your family needed something from your father it was always you they would send. Like they knew you were the only one who could be in his presence that he wouldn’t immediately beat. This night was a strangely quiet night at your home.
“Absolutely not Y/n. He is my son he will fight. No matter how insistent you and your mother are.” your father was sitting at his desk he didn't offer you anymore than a glance. You could feel your nerves this kind of defiance was unlike you. Typically your defiance was classier. It could almost go undetected like a faint thread of manipulation hidden under a smile and a logical response. You were calculated in everything that you did...but not that night. That night you had only one rhys life on your mind.
“Of course father, my apologies I just thought that since he’s your next successor then-“ the room was tense, you kept your wings so tightly pressed against your back the pain had started to creep its way up your shoulders.
“Enough Y/N! Your brother will fight and if he can’t survive then it’s due to his own incompetence and failure!” Your fathers word stung. You didn’t know how he could care so much for you and not at all for your brother and sister. It was clear your father didn’t care if Rhys was ready to fight. Or even if he was given a better chance of survival. You could see on your fathers desk that he planned to place Rhysand right on the front lines. It was almost as if your father was trying to get your brother killed.
“At least keep him in the sky with Azriel and Cassian! They fight better together.” the second the words left your mouth you knew it would send him into a rage.
“Y/N you forget your place!” Your fathers voice boomed, He stood from his desk so fast you flinched on instinct. His voice so loud you were sure that it carried down the hall where your family was residing. But you had to continue, it wasn't an option not to make him change his mind. Otherwise your brother would pay the price.
“I’ll fight on the front lines in his place! Just please father.” You spit the words out as fast as you could before your father could throw you out.
“You can’t keep protecting that boy Y/n. One day that protection will cost you your life.”
That day you had left your fathers office with a black eye, a busted lip and a guaranteed death sentence on the front lines. You knew that he would retaliate by your lack of obedience but you couldn’t afford not to fight him. Not when the cost was your brother. For as long as you could remember you always protected your mother, sister, and brother. Had taken lashes, foul words, and their punishment so that they could have some sense of peace. Kept the true price for their safety as secret as you could. Glamoured the marks. Put on the mask of confidence and indifference.
Later that day your brother had come running into your room
“Y/N! I just talked to father and got my assignment and placement in the war effort. Get this he’s keeping me in the sky.. same fleet as Azriel and Cassian! I can’t believe it. Whats your assignment? Did he give you your own fleet to command or are somewhere higher. Maybe commander?” Rhys had ran in so quickly that you almost didn’t have time to glamour your face. But the second you saw the joy on his face all the pain washed away. like it did every single time. How many times had you hid the bruises and scars upon your body for your siblings... you couldn't keep track anymore but every time you saw their faces the pain or thought of telling them disappeared
“Umm I am on the front lines” You mustered every bit of confidence you had to try and calm Rhysands worry. You could tell if wasnt nearly enough as you watched your brother begin to panic and break down.
“What?!? No! Why would he do such a thing. I thought for certain he’d give you something. Of more importance! This is absurd. I’ll go talk to him! HE CANT… He JUST CANT-
“HE CAN. And He did. And YOU! Will not breathe one word of this to him. Do you understand?” You waited for Rhys to reply needed him to tell you he wouldn’t provoke your father further. But Rhys only stood there staring at you. So you walked over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders
“Do you understand Rhysand?” you meant it as a question but it came out more as a demand.
“yes I understand” he answered meekly you sighed a thank you to the Mother.
“Thank you.... And Rhys don’t argue with father. Do as he says and listen to his every command. Especially on that battle field.” Rhys only laughed and rolled his eye at your comment.
“Pfft come on Y/n, I know, I know.” Your brother laughed like you weren’t being serious. Like it was something you warned him of everyday. Which he wasn’t wrong but your father wouldn’t be as “forgiving” with Rhys now. He would actually expect Rhysand to perform otherwise it was his reputation that was put at risk.
“I’m serious Rhysand. Do not provoke him. Do not give him any reason to reprimand you. You need to be training everyday and not just till you’re tired like you do now. You need to practice until you’re perfect. He will expect you to be the epitome of perfection and wrath on the battle field.”
“Please I’m not you y/n he couldn’t give two shits about how I perform. I’ve worked my ass off trying to prove I could be worth his Time but no matter how “perfect” I perform, it all about you.” Rhysands words came with a bite. Underlined with jealousy. You wished your father cared for Rhys and your sister....more than anything. But if your ability to protect them meant they had to stay out of his eyesight you would fill this roll everytime.
“I won’t be around forever to protect you from him Rhys. This time he put me in the grunt position and you in the high seat. He’s not expecting me not to embarrass him. I’m expected to be dead before that fight begins. You will be the one who will have to be perfect for him because any weakness in you will make him look bad. You’re his trophy now not me. You will have to protect our sister and mother from him once I’m gone. DO NOT PROVOKE HIM ANYMORE. No more running out with Cassian and Az acting like children. He will take notice and I won’t be there to distract him.” You had never been so serious with Rhys before. Had never spoken to him with such aggression and demand for him to understand. But you needed him to understand because you could not protect him once you were gone. You had shielded him from this for a long as you could.
Rhys didn’t know what to do. He was shocked and scared. Like for the first time he got a glimpse of the pressure and weight that laid on your shoulders. Never thought about how much exactly you shielded him and your sister from. He knew that many times you were the difference between being beat and being sent to his room but had you given more for his protection then he thought? All of these things ran through his mind but what he couldn’t get over was how easily you had admitted you were going to die. How that was the last thing on your mind. But it was the biggest on his mind
“Do you really believe your going to die” Rhys tried to say without shedding a tear but it was clear that he was about to become a mess.
“Oh Rhys I- I will always be honest with you when you ask me something you know that….the truth is that it’s very likely almost impossible not to on the front line.”
“You can’t die out there y/n. Promise me you won’t die out there.” Rhysands voice cracked and tears streamed down his face.
“Rhys I can’t promise you that.” You couldn’t promise him you’d survive so you did the only thing you could do. you held him and for a while the two of you didn’t say anything. Accepting that the each of you could die very soon.
“I can’t promise you I’ll live. But I do promise that I will die fighting to stay alive for you. Can you promise me the same?
“I can. I promise y/n.” And just like that a tattoo formed on your body right behind your ear with a matching tattoo behind Rhys ear.
To this day it was the only tattoo on your body. You didn’t believe in promises did everything you could to avoid them actually but it was a promise that kept you and Rhys connected. A promise that reminded you of how your relationship with your brother used to be. How he used to look up to you and trusted you…. Now you were last person he’d trust to do his laundry. Just another hurdle in his life as High Lord.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{+}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Again! I want it perfect this time!” It had been 3 weeks since Cassian was injured and thank the Mother he was back on his feet. Rhysand had asked you to lead a fleet of rejected Illyrians. Illyrians who had failed miserably every step of their training.
“Y/n please if anyone could make them capable fighters in this short amount of time. It’s you. I’d ask Cassian but he’s healing right now.”
“Rhysand I’m already leading a fleet of day soldiers. Also their Illyrians and I don’t know if you’ve noticed I’m a female…they won’t listen to me.”
“Then make them.”
And that is how you had ended up here. With Day soldiers and Illyrians at each others throats. The Illyrians had actually improved impressively since the first week. You were quick to put them in their place and after three weeks of hard non stop training some of them had even come to respect you. Others were still learning that it was possible a female could run laps around them. On the other hand the Day soldiers were continued to give you an impressive amount of respect and obedience they were more skilled then most of the Illyrians but that was only because they had been training with you longer. But the respect and courteousness of Day combined with the Arrogance and disrespect of the Illyrians didn’t mix well. It led to unnecessary tension you would have to fix. At any moment another battle could arise and they would have to fight with each without trying to kill the other. You had been stuck in your own thoughts when you spotted Helion outside your tent.
“Kemal and Theo grab a weapon and step into the ring Everyone else work on your blocks and dodges.” Kemal had been the Illyrian who had improved the most while Theo was your best soldier from Day. You were truly curious to see who would best who. But you had business to attend to first.
“When I get back everything better be in order or we aren’t breaking for dinner till breakfast” you said as you walked into your tent with Helion following.
“Helion… what do I owe the pleasure?”
“What I can’t come see my mate without a reason” Helion teased while placing a kiss on my temple. You simply laughed.
“I suppose you don’t. However my mate typically does have a reason.” You and Helion had decided not to accept the bond until after the war and to keep the bond a secret until after as well. But you two would undoubtedly accept it the second the war was over. The two of you had found solice and joy in each other in such an awful time. With flirty remarks and touches you kept each other fae while the world threatened to make monsters out of you.
“Ok fine you got me I’m checking in to see how your troops progress is going.”
Helion had taken a seat on your cot and you had found your self standing between his legs running your hands through his hair.
“They are progressing well. I’m no longer worried about the Illyrians fighting they improved however now I worry about the tension between the two groups.” You whispered and could feel Helion relax under your touch
“I don’t understand why your brother gave you them in the first place. You have far exceeded enough favors for him. He cant just keep expecting you to jump to his every whim. What will he do when you become my High Lady? Continue to treat you like your less than-“
“High lady?” You didn’t know why his words had shocked you so much it hadn’t even occurred to you that you’d become a High Lords mate. It wasn’t that you hadn’t expected Helion to treat you as an equal it was more that you had given up those foolish dreams long ago.
“Oh Y/n sorry I didn’t mean to assume you’d court me after I just had thought we were on the same page.”
“No-no Hel that’s not what I meant we are on the same page. I just I don’t know. Hadn’t thought about what my title would be.”
“Did you expect to be anything less? You are my mate. My equal and your brother started something of importance I intend to uphold.”
“Oh Hel I lo-“
“Y/N! I need you now!” Rhysand had come running into the room so fast I had withdrawn my weapon from the sheer shock of it. Helion had instinctively stepped in front of you
“Rhysand you cannot just storm into my tent and demand I go with you.”
“It’s Azriel” that’s all he had to say and you were as serious as could be and running out of your tent without thought. Leaving Helion and rushing to Az.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Y/N thank the mother your here….it’s his wings y/n we need your help.” Cassian looked like more of an emotional reck then Rhys. You could feel the pit of worry growing to a disastrous size. You had no idea what to expect.
“Ahhhhhh, STOP, AHHHHH” you could hear Azriels screams from outside the door. You felt like you were going to be sick like everything in you depended on him surviving.
“Y/N! You need to get in there.” Both Cassian and Rhys stated. They looked like the two little boys you remember making food for. For a split second they mirrored their younger selves coming and pleading to you to make all their problems disappear. But as much as you wanted to make their sorrow go away your feet wouldn't budge. You had no control over your body.
“What?!? I can’t go in there. No I….I can’t.” You couldn’t go in there and see the shape he was in, you would break down the second you saw him.
“Y/N you have to. You’ve studied wings and repairs and clipping reversals for centuries. You studied under Madja. Y/N I’ve seen you save hundreds of wings and Madja needs your help and another person skilled enough to heal his wings so he can still fly after.” Everything they said made sense. It was all logical and you knew that. But it didn’t change that your feet were glued where they were. You indeed had studied under Madja. After you lost your wings you were obsessed with finding a way to reattach them it drove you mad. Once you realized it was just an impossible obsession. Your motivation for the knowledge changed to finding a way to heal or reverse clippings for all those poor girls. Even Illyrian soldiers who’d been injured in the war. You had secretly set up a safe haven for girls who needed immediate help in the mountains. You couldn’t always save the wings but if you couldn’t you could at least ease the pain they’d feel for the rest of their lives.
You were by no means a better healer than Madja you wouldn’t even say you were a healer. You were just skilled in this one area of study because maybe if there was someone who knew all that you knew your back wouldn’t ache everyday. Madja was the best, a great healer and she had taught you well you had just “specialized” and been able to do more with wings.
“Y/N Madja is asking for you” you heard Rhysand say. You wished, wished that you could pull yourself together right now but everything was foggy and blurring together all you could hear was Azriels cries and with each of them you felt more faint. Everyone was frantic, crying, screaming at you. But you couldn’t pull your self out of this state until
“y/n…I know that you love him. I know he is a very dear friend to you and I know that this cannot be easy. I know that your fear and worry for him is over taking you and that is understandable. But right now he needs you to help him.” Feyre spoke to you softly and with love. You could see her compassion and even her own fear in her eyes. Those eyes got your attention enough to realize the severity of the situation and that time was running out.
“Yes I’m. Im sorry. Thank you” you said as you entered the room that Azriel was in. He was laying on his stomach. Head tossing with his arms hanging of the bed. The first thing you saw was blood. There was so much blood. His wings had cuts , breaks, and tares all over them. It was awful, heartbreaking to see his once strong wings torn and tattered. The next thing you noticed was how much pains he was in. His cries and jerking. How every time he jerked or moved the more blood there was.
“Mother thank you, Y/N I need some help stabilizing him. He won’t calm down and if he doesn’t calm down soon he will have lost to much blood.”
Immediately you started to help Madja try and stop the bleeding. You grabbed a cloth and began to apply pressure to his left wing. You weren’t prepared for the screams and cries that came from him.
“I’m sorry….I’m sorry.” You had whispered under your breath over and over again.
“Y/n! I need you to calm him down” Madja instructed.
I can’t I’ll get Rhys or Cassian they can talk to him and Rhys can help ease his pain.
“No they’ve gone to get more elixirs form my office”
You tried to ask him to calm down but nothing. So finally you went to the head of the bed and crouched down so that the two of you were face to face.
“Az I need you stay still for me.” His face was scrunched up and tears were streaming down his face. You didn’t know what else to do so you went with your gut. You brought one of your hands and cupped his cheek while the other grabbed his hand and held it.
“It’s going to be ok Azriel. I’m here I’m going to help you. But I need you to calm down for me. I will not stop until I know that you’ll fly again. But I need you to calm down because every time you jerk or thrash you loose more blood.”
“Y/n i…I’m sorr-“
“None of that. None of that matters right now. Right now I need you to know that I have you. And that I’m sorry for what I have to do. Hold onto this bar ok this is going to hurt.” He squeezed your hand and met you eyes once more. It was a glace that told each of you everything you needed to know.
After he had calmed down you, you tied your hair back and instructed Madja.
“Madja we need to reset the bones now if he stands a chance to ever use them again.”
“That will be far to painful without anymore elixir.” Madja responded with a pained look on her face almost like she was praying that Rhys and Cassian would walk through those doors right now.
“I know that. But we have already lost vital time. And too much blood. It we don’t reset them now then that’s it.” You didnt want to be the fae doing this. prayed to the mother that someone could take your place or that he hadnt been hurt in the first place. Something in you called out to him willing him to hold on. Ensuring him you would do everything you could.
“How much time do we have to wait” was her only reply. As you looked at his body laying on the table you knew he didnt have long but you werent sure if you could bring yourself to break his bone with no way of easing his pain.
“We can only wait 5 more minutes but that mean we don’t have a second to make a mistake we will have to be perfect”
“You’re the expert on this Y/n I’ll follow your instruction” you spared one more glance at Azriel and made a decision within yourself.
“5 minutes” and those were the longest 5 minutes of your lifetime. You and Madja spent it packing his open wounds and staring at the door. By the end of the five minutes you were curing the mother that the only thing your power was capable of was destructive. It consumed and snuffed out unlike feyres or rhysands. They could silence pain, help heal and all you could do was expediate death.
“Thats 5 minutes” you stated with zero joy there was no sign of Rhys or Cass and you would of cursed them but just as you were about to break the first bone Cass and Rhys come running into the room with at least Madja whole stock of Elixirs.
“Give it to him now!” You said and broke the first bone and the scream that fell from Azriels mouth broke your heart. But you knew you had no choice but to keep going and with each break another agonizing scream.
“Rhysand! Put him to sleep!” You yelled at Rhysand while breaking and resetting 2 more bones.
“What I thought Madja said-“
“PUT HIM TO SLEEP RHYSAND” it’s wasn’t instruction or a question it was a command and Rhys didn’t dare finish that sentence and quickly put Azriel to sleep.
“Out” was all you said and Madja shoved them out.”
Madja turned and for just a second watched as a tear rolled down your face. How you moved swiftly and precisely. Not making a single mistake completely focused on repairing his wings. You worked and worked until there was no more work to do.
14 long grueling hours of, resetting, packing, bandaging, and more work but after 14 hours you would of gone 32 hours to know for certain he’d fly again. It wasn't until you were done and collapsed that Cassian had come to retrieve you. You were nothing more than a statue exhausted, silent, and covered in Azriels blood. Cassian had brought you to the shower and helped clean the blood off of you. He didn't expect any words to be exchanged he knew that you had shut out any emotion while you were working on him so everything came up once you were done.
Cassain had seen you like this once before when your family had been murdered. Found you curled up outside of your fathers office staring off into a void. Tried to get you to speak but nothing. He stayed with you all night that night just sitting there with you. You had even completly shocked him that moring when rhysand came down the hall and you shot up, pulled yourself together and were the image of perfection. Went right to taking care of Rhys like there was nothing wrong with you to begin with. If Cas hadnt sat with you all night he would of thought their death had no affect on you. It was that morning Cas realized just how much you loved rhys. How much of yourself you hid away to care for him. How much you had given to become the strong, capable and invincible older sister that all of them had known their whole life. Azriel and Cas had found a way to see through the mask throughout the centuries. It took a long time and it was still difficult to see through they had seen all the signs through out years and years of friendship that showed you were just a female with the weight of prythian on her shoulders. Cas didnt think Rhys was ever able to see through the mask. He still treated you like you were unbreakable. You were and always have been his very capable rock of an older sister.
So now Cas knew what was going to happen. Knew that come morning you would go right back to working like Azriel almost dying had never happened. Like having to hear his screams and be the one to keep pulling him back from death was just another tuesday. But for tonight he'd help wash off the blood and force you to stop scrubbing under your nails when there is no more traces of blood so you didnt rub your hands raw. Hold you while you screamed and beat his chest while tears streamed down your face, insisting you were fine. He would hold you all night while you sobbed and found irrational ways to blame yourself. That is exactly what Cas did and the next morning when Rhys came to check in with you he watched as you smiled at your brother and asked him "why wouldn't I be ok brother? He's fine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azriel had slept for 5 days. Slowly coming in and out. Any second you had that wasn’t spent teaching was spent next to Azriel, watching his vitals, tending to his wounds , and ensuring the wing bracing hadn’t slipped or moved. Yet the second he awoke you stayed away. You didn’t know what it was that kept you away after he had awoken.
The fear that he didn’t want to see you? That you weren’t ready to forgive him? You didn’t know. Maybe it was that you’d never kept secrets from him and now you were mated and you didn’t know why that made a difference but it did. Was it that you couldn’t trust yourself around him? Or maybe it was simply that Helion had confronted you while he was asleep about the way you felt.
“Y/n I’m not trying to sound jealous or pushing over my line I just want to ensure that you feel nothing for him in that way anymore.”
“Helion you’re joking right? He’s unconscious. I’m simply helping a friend.”
“Y/n this is the first time I’ve talk to you in a week. You have avoided, pushed me off, and ran from me. While your every second is spent here in this tent with him. Rhysand and Madja have assured me and you that he will wake. That he’s fine…..if this is just you worrying for a friend then I entirely understand. However you can’t blame me for being worried. I found out you were my mate the same night you tried to start a relationship with him. I just want to check in with you about where you stand with this bond…..that we want the same thing.
“Helion I- I don’t know what I want the war is all I can think about and then Azriel got hurt. I was concerned for my friend.”
“Ok y/n I understand…. I think it’s best that we pull back a little then. Maybe completely until after the war that just so you have time to think about what you want.”
“Hel that’s not what I meant-“
“Y/n my sweet I am not mad at you. Nothing I have said was against you. You have every right to love whoever and want whatever it is that makes you happy. I’ve just. I’ve loved before and I’ve been stripped of that love. That was one of the hardest things I have been through and I don’t know if I could survive the rejection from my mate if I let myself continue to fall in love with you. Don’t get me wrong I’m already so far deep but I could pull myself out and keep some of my heart. But if don’t pull myself back and I continue to let myself have everything that I want and you were to change your mind it would break me. My heart is yours to have if you want it. All I’m asking is that your sure it’s my heart that you want before we continue.” With that Helion had kissed your forehead and left you outside of the medic tent.
If you had been paying attention you may of caught the pair of eyes from inside that were locked on you and Helion. Maybe of even seen the way Azriel had tried to push him self up to hear the whispered fight the two of you were having.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Y/N” he’s been asking for you.
“I’m not going I have far to much work to do and not enough time.” Rhysand only sighed at you. This is the 5th person who had come to your tent and pleaded with you to see Azriel. First it was Cassain going on and on about how if it weren’t for that one fight you’d be right by his side and instead of him trying to get you to see him, he’d be trying to get you to leave.
When you had told Cassian to fuck off then they sent Mor who described in vivid detail how every time someone walks into the medic tent Azriel is practically breaking his neck to see if it was you. That he is just wrecked with guilt over everything he said. When you had told her you didn’t care she just walked out in disbelief.
Then they had decided to send Feyre…thought maybe because she stopped you from panicking maybe she could convince you to go see him. “Y/n please I know he hurt you. But doesn’t that pale in comparison after almost losing him? I saw you that day you care for him and up until he woke up you were there. Why is it different now that he’s awake?” You had only told Feyre that your decision had been made.
Before they had sent Amren you thought they had given up. Turns out they were just deliberating on who to send. “Girl you need to get your shit together and see the boy.” “No I don’t.” “You need to come see him if I have to watch him mope around like a kicked dog one more day I’m going to kill somebody.” Amren had just stormed out. She gave you the impression that if she had stayed a little longer she would have shared something with you she wasn’t supposed to.
Eventually you found yourself here arguing with your dear brother.
“Y/n you cannot be serious about this. You can’t avoid him forever” Rhysand only pleaded with you.
“I am, I can, and he made it very clear he wanted me to stay away that Is what I’m doing.” You were tired of this. You knew they had watched him say those things to you. Knew what it meant to you. How could they still be insistent you needed to get over it.
“Y/N he didn’t mean-
“I don’t care. I’m not going. I took beatings, I went with Amarantha, I have stayed in your court. Took in your Illyrian troops, saved his wings, and jeopardized a relationship I really cared about by the way, I have sense agreed to seduce Eris about Beron joining this war. What more do you want from me brother? You were broken, could feel all the tape and glue coming apart. Helion had decided to give you space. You couldn’t blame him it was smart and responsible for the both of you. But that left you alone with a troop at each others throat. And friends dying everyday. You just wanted everyone to let you be.
“I want you to go see him.” Was his only reply and you couldn’t believe it or could you? All you were to him was a chess piece to play. Not a sister, not a friend, or a member of his court. Just a pawn to be placed. With that he made his way out of your tent but right before he left you simply replied with what you realized he wanted from you.
“Of course my lord”
What you didn’t expect was for that to make him stop in his tracks and turn around. He stared at you for awhile and you stared back. Neither of you said a word but you could tell he wanted to say 1000 things but not one left his lips.
Rhysand felt guilt overtake him the second the words left your mouth. He knew that all he did was ask more of you. Knew what he sentenced you to under the mountain. A part of him knew he still looked up to you. While the other part only blamed you. For everything. For Mother and your little sister Marjorie. He looked at you and saw the person his father picked every time. He was too busy teaching you how to balance the courts expenses when he bested Cassain the first time. Too busy introducing you to high lords and their sons when he made carynthian. And off instructing you of the do’s and don’ts of war when mother and Marjorie were killed. He had so much bitterness in him but he knew you did everything for him. Held him together and all he did was let his bitterness take over him.
“I’m sorry about Azriel Y/n”
“Why? That may be the one thing that truly isn’t on your shoulder Rhys. He just doesn’t feel for me the way I had him.” The look that Rhysand gave you before leaving almost fooled you. Almost had you believing guilt flashed through his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You hated coming to Rhys side of the war tents. It always got you into uncomfortable situations with someone. However we were about to head to the human lands for the last battle fortunately you had finally solidified your troops. Day soilders had learned how to loosen up, Illyrians learned some respect and they were actually getting along. The Illyrian almost made a complete 180 with them actually respecting your power. Asking you actual tips to get better had even included you in some of the barrack pranks. They were ready and you could say that you were proud of the work they had accomplished. As you thought you couldn’t help overhearing the argument coming from the medic tent and peeking in.
“I am coming. I’m fighting in that battle.” You could hear Azriel grunting as he got up from his cot.
“You are not” Cassain and Rhys were quick to respond.
“I am”
“You will not Azriel if you fight you will not fly again.” Madja interrupted and you could feel the shift in the room. Saw the way Cassain and Rhysand shared a look and the way Azriel froze.
“I forbid it Az you will stay here and that is final.” Rhysand commanded and exited the tent on the opposite end with cas and madja followings
Maybe you should of left. Maybe you should of stayed and slipped in when you saw that he was still insistent on going but you couldn’t allow that to happen.
“You better get back in that cot” you had said with your back to a supporting post of the tent.
Azriel flew his head to your voice. Like he didn’t believe it. Couldn’t
“Y/n”
“You can’t do what I know you’re about to do Azriel. You will never fly again. Take it from somebody who knows that pain doesn’t go away.”
“I have to. My entire family is fighting today. What would I be if they died while I laid in this tent.”
“It means youre safe and healing properly. It also means the hours of work I did to save those bat wings don’t go wasted.” You joked and you saw tension roll off Azriels shoulders. “Well um anyway I should get going don’t do anything stupid” as you were leaving azriel grabbed your shoulder and spun you around.
“Y/n, please don’t die. I uhhh, I need you to know... ya know about what I said its-
"Azriel. You can tell me after this war.....look you were right I am exactly what my father raised me to be. Which is why i wont die on that field, I have been in war with far worse odds and lived. I was born for times such as this." You were looking at Az but the male staring back at you wasn't someone you had ever met. There was fear and regret swirling behind his golden orbs. Fear you had never seen Azriel have but this fear was new, like if he released his grip from your shoulder his world would come crashing down.
Azriel stood staring at you with no mask to hide behind. He was wracked with terror. You were once again going into a dangerous situation without him. He would have no way of ensuring your safety... no way of knowing youd come back to but the hope he had in his heart. If that hope was the only thing that could bring you back after this war then mother he'd have more hope then there was in all of pryrinthian.
Before you knew what was happening Azriels had craddled your head back and his lips had met yours. This kiss was different than the first. It wasnt full of lust, desire, and hunger. No this kiss was gentle, it was soft and warm something you couldnt help but melt into. His tongue dipped into your mouth you couldnt help the muffled gasp that escaped from you. He smelled of cedar and ash and in this moment it was like the only thing that existed... the only thing that mattered were the two of you. His shadows danced around your two forms and it felt as if you'd been made whole could of sworn that you felt something snap in your chest. As fast as it came it had disapeared and Azriel had pulled away cupped your cheek and pressed his forehead to yours and whispered.
"just come back to me" before you could reply he had winnowed away leaving you flushed with a sense of guilt as you felt Helion tug on the bond.
--------------------------------------{*}-------------------------------------
When you had finally found Mor to winnow you to the human lands it was chaotic. Humans running and some flat out calling you wicked things simply because you tried to help them. After coralling what felt like hundreds of humans it was time to have march into battle with the king of hybern. You couldnt say that you were ready but you could say that youd give everything you had to ensure the people you loved came out of this war.
--------------------------------------{*}-------------------------------------
In the midst of Battle you struggled to breath there was so much blood. It was like you were drowning in it. Hybern Soldiers just kept coming so just you kept slashing them down one by one. When the battle had first started you could see Cassian and Rhys in the skies but blood coated your eyes so that all you could truly see was right in front of you. Your men surrounded you and as you looked to your left and right you could tell they were just as exhausted as you. Every now and then you or Helion would tug on the bond just to give peace of mind that the other was still ok. As time went on you weren’t sure if you’d win this war. It seemed that the Hybern Soldiers just outnumbered you. Many lives were lost and the battle went on. You used every bit of strength and ounce of magic you had. Especially when you heard Nestas scream for Cassian. It was so loud that both you and Cas had whipped your head around and if it had been a second longer both you and Cas would have been dead but you called to the power inside of you and wrapped the starlight around yours and Cassians figure tightly. Pushed up a wall of pure power to protect your men on the battle field. The blast was so strong it brought you to your knees and the scream that left you broke Cassians heart. But he Watched as you fought every second holding the shield and wall against the blast. Honestly after that the war was a blur. The only other thing you remember after that was Rhys.
You could remember right before your brother had died. You magic racing across to Hybern. To tear his very heart out for threatening Rhys. You remember the panic and dread. Your power an inch of hybern when one of his men had tackled you to the ground. And then you felt it the tattoo on your neck glow and disappear. You had sliced the soldiers throat so fast and stood. Had to know if what you felt was true and when you saw Rhys body and Feyre screaming the world went black.
The next thing you knew you were being carried by Helion off of the field. Madja over your body. You were in and out of consciousness. one second there was madja or mor, then Cas and always Hel. But it wasnt until you saw Rhys. You saw your brother and you could feel the smile on your face. Had determined he was there to take you home.
"rhys...' you let out with a shaky breath.
"Y/N thank the mother, Y/n you are going to be ok". You could hear Panic and see tear on your brothers face which confused you. You were ready you just wanted to be with him and here he was telling you no.
"y/n please Im ok. But you have to be ok. Im alive you can come back. COME on Y/N. You promised remember.. You promised me... Y-
you watched in and out how upset rhys was how worked up he was. Saw as Cassian dragged him away and then nothing.
When you finally awoke your family filled you in and just like that you insisted you were fine. Now arguing in your room with Helion who hadn't left your side. went on about how you needed to slow down. to go back home to day and relax.
"I couldn't of lost you Y/N" Helion shared as he let out a sigh.
"Hel Im ok. Its going to be ok." you held him as he cried for awhile until he stood.
"Come back home. I'll know you're safe there. I can even ensure i dont go overboard with overprotecting you." you could see the love shing through Hels eyes. Could feel how much needed you to say yes. To let him care for you flowing through the bond.
"Ok ok... we will pack tomorrow tonight just be with me."
"I love you Y/n"
With that Helion brought you in and kissed you longingly. Like this was what he needed to ground him in your safety.
Poor Azriel couldn't pull his gaze from your bedroom window. Where he stood outside with a bouquet of flowers eye glued to the scene above him. You smiling at Helion, his hands on your hips looking down at you with so much love almost Azriel could feel it. Watched as he placed a kiss on your lips and how you only deepened it. how you leaned into him and flung your arms around his neck. Watched as Helion lifted you up with your lips still attached to one another. And he especially couldn't tear his gaze away when he felt a golden thread snap into view...connecting him to you. Azriel sat atop that mountain with those flowers with his heart breaking long after the lights of your bedroom had gone out.
Tags
@mis-lil-red @bankerfrog @paasrin @judig92 @boys-no-books-better @powerfulpantera @randomfortheday @answer-the-sirens @kuraikei @issybee0611 @lennaleen @starryhiraeth
#acotar fanfiction#a court of war and ruin#acotar x reader#azrielxreader#acotar series#acotar fluff#azriel spymaster#azriel fanfic#a court of mist and fury#azriel acotar#azriel fic#helion acotar#helion x reader#cassian#rhysand
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Hakuoki Drama CD Hijikata Biyori Travel Edition Sendai-hen "Into an Unknown Land"
Well... I failed my g exam for highway driving 😅. I probably should care more about that, but I've got an extremely very laissez-faire attitude when it comes to driving since I get carsick way too easily (my record for getting nauseous in a car is less than 10 min)... though I will admit that it's better to have a license since that's a better piece of ID to carry.
Anyway, here's the last Hijikata Biyori that was untranslated. Going to try and work on two more things today... I've decided on a drama with Hijikata and Kazama for sure. Going to be working on that in a bit!
Enjoy~!
Hakuoki Radio Drama Hijikata Biyori Travel Edition Sendai-hen "Into an Unknown Land"
Translation by KumoriYami
Hijikata: Please take that to the Maekawa house. Leave it in the same place as the things from before.
Sannan: That one is very heavy, so don't push yourself. I'll bring the rest.
Kondou: Toshi, Sannan-kun, what about the wardrobes in the back.
Hijikata: You still have those things? It'd better to move that out too.
Kondou: I see, then I'll do that. Can someone help me move the wardrobe out?
Okita: I'll help you, Kondou-san.
Hijikata: Souji, where the hell were you, I was looking for you for a while.
Okita: I was at the Maekawa House. Speaking of which, there's a huge mess over there. Someone kept moving things there without even thinking.
Hijikata: What are you talking about. We need to clean this place first, so there's no other way around it.
Okita: That's why I was saying thoughtless.
Hijikata: What――
Sannan: Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun, if you want to talk, why don't you go over there? It's going to be noisy over here. We are in the process of cleaning up, after all.
Hijikata/Okita:...Sorry.
Sannan: Toshi and Souji are still as close as ever/are still on good terms.
Hijikata/Okita:...Not really.
Kondou: Hahaha... I see, I see. Alright, let's quickly finish up this last bit.
...
Kondou: Yeah, just by clearing things out, the walkway has become wide enough for several people to go through. At this rte, even if new members join, there won't be problems for the time being.
Sannan: That's true.
Hijikata: Even so, there are limits. We might have to move out someday in the future.
Okita: Ah... moving, how troublesome.
Hijikata: When we left Edo, you didn't bring any luggage.
Okita: It wasn't because it was troublesome, it's just that I didn't hve nything to take with me. For me, I'm fine as long as I have my sword.
Kondou: I see, that's typical of Souji.
Hijikata: Really? That just sounds like an excuse to me.
Kondou: Now that you mention it, Sannan-kun, you also had very little
Sannan: That is correct. I came to Edo with almost nothing, so I didn't have much luggage to begin with.
Kondou: Ah, I believe that Sannan-kun is from the Sendai Domain.
Sannan: That's right.
Okita: Hey, Sandai, what's it like?
Sannan: It's a very nice place.
Kondou: I hear that Sendai Castle, originally named Aoba Castle, is said to be the strongest castle. It must be quite majestic. I'd like to witness it with my one eyes one day.
Okita: Aoba Castle, what a beautiful name. Is there anything else besides that?
Sannan: Yes. Although it is not a castle or a building, Sendai is also famous for its granaries, which [produces] enough food to support Edo. Furthermore, lots of seafood, including fish and shellfish, are harvested [there]/it's abundant in seafood, including fish and shellfish.
Kondou: That's great. In that case, Sendai must hve delicious food. How about it, Toshi? Why don't we go and check out Sendai.
Hijikata: Uh, Kondou-san, that’s not a place you can easily get to just by saying you want to go there.
Okita: Is that so――I think that if you want to go, it's actually quite easy.
Hijikata: I hear that it'd take ten days to get there from Edo. How long do you think it will take from Kyoto?
Okit: Is that the only reason why we can't go?
Hijikata: I'm saying tht we don't have the time.
Sannan: What Hijikata-kun said is very reasonable. The journey to Sendai is very far way, and getting there will take more time and energy than you can imagine. Additionally, there will be snow with the upcoming season and it is not easy to cross mountains, which will make it even more difficult to to visit Sendai, but, Hijikata-kun, isn't it because you're carrying too much why you won't have the time?
Hijikata: Huh?
Kondou: Ah, that's right. Toshi has always been like that. No matter what happens, he tries to handle everything on his own. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I think think that it's necessary for Toshi divide what he's carrying once in a while, like today. Divide everything up and have everyone clean up after themselves. I think that Toshi needs this sort of thing too.
Hijikata: If you put it that way, I'm sure Kondou-san is the same.
Kondou: That's not true. I'm trying to stop that from happening, so I'm recruiting new members and asking them all to work hard.
Sannan: Indeed, it's thanks to Kondou-san that the number of troops have increased so much. We can now leave guarding the entrance and work in the kitchen to them. The burden on the senior executives has also been reduced a bit.
Okita: Yes, yes, that seriously was a big help.
Hijikata: Seriously. Souji, you should take on some more responsibilities.
Souji: Well, if that time comes.
Hijikata: What does this mean?
Okita: That all depends on Hijikata-san.
Hijikata: Souji...
Okita: Ah~ after all that work, I'm thirsty.
Kondou: Oh, yes. Let's make some tea then. I'm sure we were given some manju buns.
Okita: Ah, that would be great. There's sunlight on the engawa right now, so let's go there.
Sannan: Hijikata-kun, it might not be possible for everyone to go together. But you hould visit Sendai sometime, Hijikata-kun.
Hijikata: Huh?
Sannan: Okita-kun said so, didn't he? That if you want to go, it's surprisingly quite easy to get there. You're someone who would be able to do that.
Hijikata: I――
Kondou: Hey, Sannan-kun! Toshi! Are you two not coming?
Sannan: I'm on right on my way. Hijikata-kun, my apologies for keeping you here. Come on, let's go.
Hijikata: Hah, what are you saying? It would be meaningless if I went by myself.
---end---
#hakuoki#hakuouki#hakuoki drama cd#hakuoki drama translation#hijikata biyori#hijikata toshizou#okita souji#sannan keisuke#kondou isami#sanan keisuke
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WOAGH I got tagged by @elliegoose to do a thingy!
now the tag game was to introduce yourself with:
one tv show
one movie
one album
one video game
I, however, liked that they did two and I am ALSO cute and get to do whatever I want so im gonna do two, too.
TV shows: The Venture Bros. and Hilda
talk about opposite ends of the spectrum, eh? Now Venture Bros. will always come with an asterisk, that being that it's an Adult Swim show that was created in the early 2000s by two white guys. Its comedy, especially in earlier seasons, can be unsavory. I'm a big believer in things being imperfect though. Not every show can live up to every standard, and sometimes you just need to roll your eyes at jokes that were made 10-20 years ago. If you can get past that what you get is an excellent and genuinely fun world full of Spyfi and Superhero parodies with a good story to boot.
Hilda, on the other hand, is a show for younger audiences based on a kids book series that largely has to do with various pieces of Scandinavian folklore. I've watched Hilda all the way through twice, once on my own as it was coming out and then once with my wife, and its just so so so lovely. The colour tones of red blue yellow and white, the delightful music, the adorable cast of characters and creatures, its such a good time. One of the best cozy up and just vibe it out shows imo. In my top 5 for sure.
Movies: Everything, Everywhere, All at once and Wolf Children.
What hasn't been said about EEAAO? It won awards that it damn well deserved, its got a perfect cast, it makes me cry every time I watch it. A compelling story about family and change, and the monumental difficulties that can come with them, as well as how different people survive hardships in their life, all wrapped up in the most batshit thing you've ever seen. Clair De Lune, THE SONG I GOT MY NAME FROM, is the main theme and it makes me tear up every time. In every universe, I would love to do laundry and taxes with you, and watch this movie.
Wolf Children isn't far off from that vein. I consider it to be Studio Chizu's magnum opus and I don't say that lightly. From the presentation and voice cast to the music and gorgeous art used in the movie, not even to MENTION how good the story about family, change, growing up, and letting go is, if you don't cry in the first 30 mins you should evaluate your emotional status. This movie means so much to me, its such a gorgeous story, and more people should know about it. Studio Chizu doesn't have a single miss in my opinion, just lesser and greater movies. Wolf Children is hands down the greatest.
Albums: Get Lonely by The Mountain Goats and No Dogs Allowed by Sidney Gish
What??? Clair's top two isn't DnB or something techno related???? Nah dog, I get sad a lot and have a thing for poetry. Get lonely was an album I listened to in some of the worst years of my adult life. I was 20 living with my family who made me miserable in a state that was (and still is) trying to get rid of people like me, and I had very little things that were mine. Walking around downtown Bartow, Florida, in the two weeks of winter that hell state gets while listening to John Darniel sing about soft agonies while watching my breath dissipate into the air? That was mine, and it always will be. TMG in general is I think my favourite band. The poetry on display in every one of their songs is just, too beautiful for my dumb ass to put in any meaningful way.
No Dogs Allowed was an album I listened to while working a midnight shift job I hated while also living with my family. Its an upbeat, quirky, kind of melancholy romp with songs that bring me back to driving from Bartow to Lakeland hoping I could stop myself from either killing myself or fucking up my friendships, whichever came first. Spoiler alert, I'm still alive. It also reminds me of the last big thing I ever did with my sibling before I left Florida for good, which was go to the Tampa Bay Aquarium with them. Several songs from the album were on the playlist I made for us, and hearing them always makes me want to shoot them a message to see if they're doing okay.
Video Games: Night in the woods and Final Fantasy XIV Online
Night in the woods is very, very near and dear to my heart. I honestly don't know what to say. If you've played it you know how good it is. How well written the story of Mae and her mental health crisis is. How it goes over things like poverty and trying to get by/make a better life. Family struggles that they don't talk to you about, small hometown decay that seeps into your every memory until the place you grew up in looks like a collection of distorted rotting shapes. I play it once a year in the fall, and each time I do its like seeing an old friend again. At the end of everything, hold onto everything.
Final Fantasy XIV Online is a game you can play with your friends. I could go on and on and on about how I have 1300 hours in this game and how I met some good friends on it, and how important it is to me as a piece of writing and a community and an experience. But we'd be here all day. FFXIV was there for me in some very tough times. I met new people, I grew distant from others, I have regrets and joys that I still carry with me. If you can get into it with the right people, the game really is something special. Its something to be shared, its a bustling community with all the edges that come with that, its a world where you can be a 7ft. tall elf with green eyes and white hair, and its a part of me.
As for who I wanna tag: @problematicmilf , @ninefoldrin , @baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs , @mobileleprechaun , and anyone who sees this and wants to do it too. This was fun! Hope I don't seem too lame lol.
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