#PLUS if we get more workers... my chief is planning to make us work on our resting day too...

[kelin-is-writing]

it's sunday, my fucking ankles and knees hurts like bitches AND i still gotta go to work until 12pm 🙂

[lightthewaybackhome]

Sorry this is so long. Probably should have done a 2 parter.

"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!" - Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be artistic. I’ve wanted to create. I love beauty. I love artistry. I love creation. I love the artsy look: jewelry, tattoos, flowing clothing, and funky hair. It is a personal aesthetic I keep returning to, especially as I get older. As a child, I tried so many different forms of art—painting, photography, drawing— but none of them seemed quite right. None of them got what was in my head out. All of them fell short until I started writing. Writing was a flame, a fire, a drug. Writing allowed me to express what was in my imagination. This is the first thing to understand.

Everyone is artistic and art is everywhere. I’ve believed this as long as I can remember. There are amazing artistic feats in our world: books, movies, video games, paintings, sculptures, and magnificent pieces of music. Yes, art can be very high and very special. But, art can also be found in charcuterie boards, homemade quilts, sourdough bread, cocktails, soup, and all ordinary things if we but look and see. Art can be high magic and art can be ordinary. This is the second thing to understand.

As I’ve embraced being a homemaker, a HearthKeeper, a woman where she’s meant to be, I came across the term domestic artist. As much as I didn’t like the book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle, it gave me this. It gave me the term domestic artist. That stuck with me. It spoke to me because it captured both the first and the second thing. It captured the never-ceasing call to create which haunts me at all times, and it elevated and honored the ordinary in a sprinkling of fairy dust. It said, “Yes, you have to cook today. Three meals plus snacks and drinks. It’s your job, but, but, what if, what if instead of looking at it as some drudgery, some Cinderella enslavement, what if you looked at it as an opportunity to create beauty?”

Not every meal, every outfit, every moment of your day can be a work of art. Some days you just have to do what you have to do. Some days get upended in the opening credits with a broken washer or a sleepless child. Some days plans change. Life changes. One minute life looks like this, and then the next it’s on to something completely different. But, the beauty of being a domestic artist is that you can create art in any of these moments and in any setting. You can find art in any moment and in any setting.

See, the world tells us that homemaking, HearthKeeping, is boring. It tells us it’s pointless. A waste. You could be changing the world. Only dumb useless women keep their homes. And that’s because they’re either tied down by a dictator of a husband or the demands of children or the cultural trappings of their religion. Courage, dear heart. Courage! Homemaking is magic. Homemaking is flexible. Homemaking changes with the seasons and the woman. I, I am a bit bohemian, a bit rustic, a mixture of rugged and romantic. I grew up a tomboy, but have embraced being a woman in her home since I was a child. I love leather and lace. I love cottage-witch aesthetics. I love boots and long flowing things. I like deer heads, linen, skulls, and ruffles. I like feathers and dreamcatchers, but I also love to decorate with open space. I love pies and feeding my husband. But, look at this, one of my best friends is a classic. She loves clean lines, traditional and timeless pieces. She loves modern accents. She loves beachy highlights and hammocks. She’s not into farmhouse, rustic modern, or raw-edged wood. On any given Sunday, she’s in a pencil skirt, simple top, simple heels with her three daughters in matching dresses while I’m in distressed boyfriend jeans, a mullet-tucked top, and wearing my crow skull. We’re very different, but we’re both homemakers who love making our homes.

I have a woman in my life who quilts and that flows out into their decorating. So many of her things are beautifully hand sewn. If she wants it, she makes it. Another friend grew up in Africa and her home is filled with her love of that culture. One dear friend loves plants and grows amazing flowers that she uses to create Instagram-worth bouquets. Another woman isn’t super fluffy-feminine but she has an eye for remodeling and so is constantly making improvements on her home: flooring, painting, and more. My sisters, like me, both enjoy a minimalist approach to decorating and all three of us have a special place for coffee. Both my sisters’ homes are welcoming and peaceful even with kids running around like crazy.

That’s the point, the world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility. For over five years, I’ve struggled with chronic health issues. Homemaking lets me decide each day what I can do and how I’m going to do it. Homemaking lets you change what you do for each season of life. Lots of littles? Keep it simple. Empty nest? Explore. Somewhere in between? Keep growing. Lots of energy? So many things you can expand into if you just refuse to believe the lie that homemaking is beneath you. Don’t be normal. Don’t believe that homemaking is a waste of time. Don’t buy into the lie that you are somehow being less than everyone else when you raise your children, love your husband, and create beauty. Have the courage to be strange. We were made for this! It suits us. This is an environment women thrive in.

When I got over my grammar inhibitions and started writing, I felt like my soul came alive. I felt like I’d finally found what I’d been searching for since I came into this world. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing an epic story or writing about HearthKeeping or just word doodling, writing, words, stories just flow from me. Wonderfully, homemaking is like that for me, too. I want to read books, I want to learn, I want to talk about it, I want to do it. It’s not perfect. I don’t always feel glorious, but I do feel ‘right’ when I’m doing this. I feel like I’m where I belong. I feel like this is a place I can both rest in and grow in. I feel safe when I’m having a fatigue flare up and I feel excited when I think about all that I can do.

A real-life example: Sundays are long hard days. They’re days that generally spike my fatigue and my husband is worn out. They’re both the best and hardest day of the week. When we get home I make a cocktail and we crash. Inevitably, the minute I sit down my man asks for a snack and what we’re having for dinner. For several years, this drove me up a wall. It is Sunday. The day of REST, why is it my responsibility to always make food? Epic sigh. Epic whiny sigh. I would meal plan for the whole week and then wing it on Sunday and Monday, always with poor results and grumpiness on my part. Then, one week as I meal-planned, I realized that I could also prepare for the weekend. Lightbulb. Facepalm. Really? Why had it taken me into my 40th year of life to realize that if I want a quiet, restful, happy weekend, I should just plan snacks, drinks, and meals ahead of time? I’m going to blame it on my chronic health, brain fog addled mind. I’m going to blame it on laziness. I’m going to blame it on being a young homemaker. Some are understandable, some are inexcusable.

Sundays now involve way less stress because I can immediately prepare snacks and know what we’re eating the minute we get home. No more attitude issue. No more stress. Easy and nice.

Did this change the world? Does this matter to anyone but myself? Did my husband even notice? Maybe not, but this is homemaking. This is HearthKeeping. It is my job and my calling. Even without notice or world-shattering consequences, I’m pleased with the outcome. More than pleased, I’m really happy about it. It brings me joy and delight to find a better way to take care of my family. It allows me to sprinkle my Sunday afternoon with just a little bit of artistry. I make drinks, snacks, dinner. I feed my family.

See, one of the lies that the feminists preach is that we’re wasted in our homes. And yet, the majority of the women I know who work outside the home aren’t doing glamorous jobs. They’re not travel bloggers or world-renowned chiefs or CEOs. They’re cosmetologists, retail workers, bank tellers, nurses, teachers, and such. Now, none of those are bad. Working outside the home isn’t bad. (I think each family has to decide what family looks like to them.) Please, please, don’t read that as degrading. I worked retail and I think retail is important. These are all God-honoring employment in which you can strive and serve. I’m not bashing any of those jobs. I have many many dear friends who work outside the home. What I am saying is that I think we as women need to ask ourselves if leaving our homes en masse was worth it. Has it given us all the joy, delight, and fulfillment the feminists promised us?

I’ve done both. I’ve been a co-owner of a business that I helped grow from nothing to something amazing. I’ve worked as an everyday retail worker. I write and am the main editor for a small neighborhood magazine. And I’m a HearthKeeper. I will tell you right now, no qualifications, that HearthKeeping is the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. It not only challenges me every day but it also works with me. The boundaries are what I set in place and so I grow as I can. The work never ends, yes, but it also never ends. There is always something else to explore.

I think being a homemaker is largely attitude. You can buck against what you do, and most women do. Just spend two minutes on Pinterest looking at doing laundry or dishes and the bitter hatred comes pouring out. Look at the complaints women make against their churches: we’re relegated to doing nursery work and kitchen duty. What if, just for a moment, we decided to be Domestic Artists? What if, for just a moment, we tried loving our jobs instead of complaining? What if we thought that dishes meant food and good times and healing of the souls around us? What if we saw laundry as a way to keep beauty and cleanliness around us? What if we saw it as our privilege and delight to take care of the food, children, clothing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, growing of the next generation, and the men of the world? What if we embraced the domestic arts and saw them as truly magnificent, glorious, unique arts? How many of us would be able to say with a straight face that working retail is more fulfilling than managing a small world? Is it more fulfilling to go work in an office than it is to orchestrate a place of welcome, rest, and renewal for your husband and yourself? It might be more visible, but is it truly more long-lasting?

I can say that it isn’t. I can say that I think being a homemaker is uniquely suited for women and that we should have the courage to go against the grain of our world and say no. No, I’m not going to give all of myself to work outside the home when the home is far more challenging and interesting. No, I’m not going to believe the lie that homemaking is oppression and boredom. I will find beauty in the ordinary and I will embrace art in the everyday. This is one of those amazing jobs where it is what you make it. It is what you pour into it. If you think it’s boring or demeaning you won’t get anything out of it. If you think it is challenging and rewarding, you will get the world out of it. You will grow yourself and those around you. Think about what a wonderful thing it would be if we made our homes our careers! If we women really took on the label Domestic Artist in our own individual ways.

[victoriareyloficlists]

13 January 2021 Additions to Reylo Fake Relationship

These fics have been added to the Fake Relationship list located here.

All Bets Are Off by crossingwinter (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Fake girlfriend. What does that even mean?” Ben asks her. Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.) Let me Dream, Let me Stay by Melusine11 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 12 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has kept up a charade of a non-existant boyfriend for two years and now that Rose and Finn are getting married, she needs someone to pretend to be said boyfriend, enter her coworker Ben.) maybe the night (holds a little hope for us, dear) by notkellymarie (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The inhabitants of The Loft have been invited to a college friend's wedding and Rey's ex-boyfriend will be in attendance. Wanting to avoid an interaction with him due to a messy break-up, she hopes bringing along a plus one will do the trick. Luckily, her friend Ben Solo from 4C is a trooper.) Be My (Fake) Wife by paynesgrey (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is in a bad predicament because of his father. He must produce a wife in order to impress the retiring President so he can take over his family's company. The problem is, he doesn't think he knows anyone who can help him...until Rey, his kendo student, offers to fake marry him for compensation. The only problem is... their marriage and feelings may not seem so fake as they get to know each other.) Force du Couer by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 24 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren is the CEO of a successful corporation in NYC. In a power play, his board, led by his uncle, demand that he marry to makeover his dismal public image. Rey is an art therapist working with foster kids in Harlem. When she contacts Kylo for possible support, he proposes a business deal that can benefit them both. He has no idea how much this woman with a fierce heart will turn his world upside down.) as luck would have it by prncesselene (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 16 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a case of violent food poisoning ruins Rose and Hux’s honeymoon plans, who better to take their place at a pre-paid Hawaiian beach resort than the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Sure, it’ll take some maneuvering, but a free vacation is a free vacation. They just have to pretend to be devoted newlyweds for a bit to enjoy it. There’s only one glaring issue, really: they can’t stand each other.) Home for the Holidays by LarirenShadow (AO3 2016  Rated T Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren, in a moment of weakness, tells his mother he'll be home for Christmas and will bring his girlfriend. Problem is he doesn't have one. Enter Rey, his grad assistant. He makes a deal with her so she'll be his girlfriend for the trip home.) daylight by sparklylulz (sparklyulz) (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Coffee shop employee Rey has a run in with one of the difficult professors. Thus starts a very turbulent friendship until Ben needs a fake date to go with him to see his parents, the first time he's seen his parents in a while.) Merry (Fuzzy) and Bright by JaneNightwork (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, 25 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: One night Ben finds a dog abandoned on his doorstep. She's cold, scared, and pregnant. Ben takes her to a nearby vet clinic and meets the beautiful veterinarian Rey, who promises to help him be the best caregiver the dog and her puppies could ask for. Throughout the holiday season Ben and Rey fall in love with the puppies and, of course, each other.) Trouble for Thanksgiving by Biekewieke (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 40 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Kenobi's temporary work visa is about to expire. She needs her boss' signature on her renewal application to get the extension she desperately wants and needs. Only her boss, the infamous Ben Solo, is an asshole. He's notoriously difficult and she knows this firsthand. Nevertheless, she needs his signature on those papers if she wants to avoid being deported by the end of the year... So when Rey tells her about her looming deportation, he finds a way to bend the situation to suit his own needs. Except, for the first time in his adult life, things don't go exactly as planned when he takes her home for the holidays...) Strictly Business by WinglessOne (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 11 Chapters, The Proposal Film AU, Quick Synopsis: Working for a nationally recognizable magazine is a huge honor, one that Ben Solo doesn't take lightly. His boss, Rey Erso, would be the first to agree and is thoroughly comfortable with her status as editor-in-chief. When her visa status is denied, she'll do anything to stay in the United States and avoid being deported back to England. Even if that means forcing her assistant to marry her.) Variance by Stargazer1116 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 23 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is heartbroken when she learns her temporary visa is expiring...and is mortified when her office crush. Kylo Ren, catches her crying about it. He is a partner in Skywalker & Associates law firm where she is an assistant. One thing leads to another...and what started as a simple solution for each of their problems turns into something much...much more. Together they wade through their deep scars to love.) In Sickness And In Health by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey knows it's not an ideal situation, but it's a situation thousands of people are in. It's not like there's much she can do about it right now, anyways. She can go a little while without health insurance. Until she gets breast cancer. The treatment will be simple if she can get it. But she's worried she can't, until her old co-worker Ben offers a solution: "We could get married.") Overboard by Biekewieke (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Overboard AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Organa-Skywalker is a rich snob who hires her to clean his party barge, making her life difficult and fouls her mood. After a freak accident throws him overboard and Rey ends up saving his life. When he wakes up, it turns out he has amnesia. Rey sees it as the ultimate answer to all her prayers. She gets to take his arrogant ass down a peg or two AND she has someone to help around the house and with the kids for a while.)

[funky-boat-zone]

can this be a “pilot episode” if it’s a fic—

(the first fic for my salty’s lighthouse au is finally done! enjoy (or don’t). also it’s not going on ao3 because there’s no tag for this show and i don’t wanna clog the tugs tag.)

It was 6:30 in the morning, with the sun just starting to cast its light over Snugboat Harbor. All twelve tugs (plus Grampus) waited in front of Captain Star’s window for their orders. No one knew what they were waiting for besides the fact that Star had specifically asked the Zero Fleet to wait at her window instead of his.

Ten Cents yawned. “Why’d Captain bring the Zeroes here instead of just waiting for Zero to come to work?”

“What, do you have a problem with us staying at your dock?” Zorran snapped, Zug glancing apologetically at Ten Cents on his behalf.

Ten Cents sputtered in irritation. “No, of course not! Sheesh, are you sure you’re not the one with a prob—“

“Have some respect! If she called all of us over, it must be something serious!” Top Hat protested.

“D’ya think somebody sunk?” ZB tactlessly wondered aloud to Zak, earning him a few horrified looks from his fellow tugs.

“Well if the Coast Guard’s not here, it probably wasn’t someone that important.” Zak replied, only to spot Zorran glaring at him. “… What?”

“Shh, here she comes!” Hercules ordered, which promptly stopped the boats’ chatter.. for the time being, anyway.

Sure enough, a blue and white-striped megaphone popped out of the window. “Star Fleet, Zeroes, Boomer’s owner wants to know if Snugboat Harbor has the right kind of jobs for him and he’s coming to assist you all with work today! Whether or not he decides to stay, I expect you all to be on your best behavior!” With that, she returned to her office, closing the window on the way and leaving the tugs to talk amongst themselves until Boomer inevitably arrived.

Ten Cents groaned. “Oh no, what’d we do?”

“What do ya mean?” Zip asked.

“He’s jinxed! Cursed! No reasonable captain would make their tugs work with Boomer unless it was some kind of punishment!” Big Stack cried.

Ten Cents’ sighed. “I remember when he wanted to ‘help us out’ with a liner.”

“How’d that go?” Sunshine asked, although she quickly realized her mistake when she saw how Ten Cents’ face fell. “… Too soon?”

“Lighten up everyone, it’s not like he means to bring bad luck.” Warrior chided.

“And it’s not like Sunshine means to run bow-first into other tugs because she can’t take two seconds to look where she’s going, what’s your point?” Zorran argued, ignoring Sunshine’s cry of “Hey!” from across the jetty.

“Can’t we at least try to be nice to him?” Sunshine suggested. “Who knows? Maybe his luck will turn if we stop acting like everything he does is bad luck, just saying.”

The dead silence from both fleets indicated that they weren’t feeling inclined to take her suggestion.

—

Roughly an hour later, ZB spotted a tug in an orange worker’s cap and matching livery entering the harbor. What stood out to him the most was the tape and bandages covering the vessel, no doubt covering the cracks, dents, and holes from his countless accidents. “Must be Boomer.” He thought aloud to himself, pulling his barges out of the way so he could pass by. From how far away the other tug was, there was almost no way Boomer would actually hit the barges, but better safe than sorry, right?

Almost as soon as the tug in the orange cap was out of sight, ZB heard Zero cry “Watch the dock, watch the dock— I said *watch the dock!*”, which was in turn followed by a loud thunk and Zero lamenting the damage to his newly-repaired dock.

“Yep, has to be Boomer.” ZB corrected himself.

—

Much to the dismay of everyone, including the captains, Boomer’s first job for the day involved helping Warrior and Big Stack transport explosives. Both fleets were ordered to give them plenty of room, which they gladly did, excessively so: Not just because it was captain’s orders, but because no one wanted to be hit with flying shrapnel in case this job went wrong.

“C’mon, I’m pretty sure we don’t need to give them that much room.” Hercules sighed, noticing how both fleets were stationed almost a liner’s length apart from each other. Despite his reassurance, no one made a move to get closer.

“Well, I may end up in a museum someday, but that day will not be today and my exhibit will not be one on shipwrecks!” Top Hat argued, earning a few eye-rolls from the rest of his fleet.

“Really, you guys need to stop assuming the worst of him! He’s not even the one towing the explosives, there’s no possible way he could—!“ Hercules was interrupted by an explosion, followed quickly by Big Stack proclaiming “I’m okay!” in the distance. He looked to his horrified fleet. “O-Okay, that was just a fluke! Besides, it doesn’t sound like all the barges exploded—!” As if on cue, there was another explosion.. And another. And another. Warrior, Big Stack, and Boomer met up with their fleet and were thankfully all still afloat and intact, albeit covered in soot and understandably shaken.

“… Did you manage to save any of the barges?” Top Hat squeaked out, looking at the smoke rapidly rising in the distance.

“Some of them! Well, I don’t know how much good they’ll be, since they’re.. kinda-sorta—well, very much on fire now.” Boomer stammered. “But we tried!” Almost immediately after Boomer stopped speaking, there was a bright orange light in the distance, with all the tugs recognizing it as a fire.

Sunshine winced as her fleet scattered and passed her to find the Fire Chief. Ten Cents sighed.

At the very least, the blaze was only the second worst fire he’d ever seen in port.

—

“Who needs the Star Fleet? Zero’s been looking for another tug anyway.” Zorran noted as Boomer and the rest of the Zero Fleet prepared to pull down a group of old buildings. “Now, all you have to do is secure your line to these buildings, sound your whistle to make sure everyone gets clear, and pull them down.” There’s no possible way Boomer could mess this up, it’s so easy that even Zip and Zug can do it!

Boomer did as he was instructed, sounding his whistle as soon as he got his line on the building’s superstructure. The rest of the Zero Fleet stayed back, shut their eyes, and waited for the sound of the building to come down.

… And waited. And waited.

“I’m not hearing any…” Zug stammered to try and find the right word before settling for just poorly imitating the sound of a building falling down. “Y’know, any of that.”

“Zorran?” Boomer called. “It’s— Uh, the building’s not coming down!”

“… What?” Zorran asked incredulously.

“I think I made myself pretty clear, I’ve been—“ Boomer stopped to catch his breath, “I’ve been at it for at least a few minutes and it hasn’t budged.”

Zorran steamed over to where Boomer was struggling, wondering how he could fail such a simple task. “Move over and let me see that!”

ZB cringed as soon as he saw his boss head toward Boomer. “D’ya think the building’s gonna collapse if he—“

Zak quickly wrapped his line around ZB’s towbitts, making sure he stayed put. “Nah, let Zorran figure that out for himself.” He said. ZB stayed out, failing to notice the smirk on Zak’s face.

Zorran approached the building, having pushed Boomer out of the way. “I don’t see any reason why it hasn’t fallen yet—OH NO!” Shrapnel and dust flew everywhere as the building finally collapsed as the Zeroes had hoped.. right on top of Zorran, who sunk to the bottom with a terrified yelp.

Once the dust cleared, the rest of the Zero Fleet hesitantly steamed over to check if Zorran was okay. Thankfully, he wasn’t fully sunk, since the water near the abandoned buildings was too shallow to let that happen. In fact, he seemed relatively fine for a tug who’d just had a small building collapse on top of him.

“You—“ ZB coughed, “You okay?” he asked nervously, turning carefully to avoid hitting the debris in the water and coughing from the still-lingering dust.

Zorran just shook his wheelhouse resignedly, his eyes unfocused. “At this rate, those kids will go blind if they keep talking to that lighthouse.” He muttered.

The Zeroes exchanged a nervous glance with each other.

“I’ll get him to Lucky’s.” Zak sighed.

—

Zorran returned from Lucky’s good as new, although he looked just as irritated as usual. With the Zero Fleet done with their jobs for the day, he planned to meet up with them near a set of old docks, hoping the Star Fleet wouldn’t come by. “So, who do you think is going to be the oh-so-lucky fleet who gets stuck with Boomer?”

“Probably the Star Fleet, I’m calling it now.” Zak said. “They’ll take anything! I mean, look at Grampus! What’s Captain Star gonna do with a submarine, make him check the docks for barnacles?”

“Hey, he could check boats for barnacles too!”

“Not my point, Zug.”

“Sorry.”

—

Unbeknownst to the Zeroes, the Star Fleet were having a near-identical argument at their own dock.

“I don’t wanna say I don’t want him around—“ Sunshine began.

“I do.” Top Hat said snootily, causing the rest of the Stars at the dock to glare at him.

Sunshine ignored Top Hat and went on. “—But Captain just got Grampus, and I didn’t hear her talking about buying another tug.”

“Ah, so Zero wants him, then.” Big Stack sighed. “Never thought I’d say this, but I feel bad for the Zero fleet.”

—

Both the Stars and the Zeroes apparently had the same idea, because Warrior, Big Stack, and Zorran all found themselves gathered in front of the Star Dock in hopes that they’d get Captain Star to change her mind.

“What’s the problem, Star Fleet.. and Zorran?”

“Well, it’s not that we don’t like Boomer..” Warrior began, only for his brother to cut him off.

“We just hate working with him! I keep telling you, every time someone works with him, they end up crashing, sinking, or getting set on fire! Unless you put something into place to keep this from happening, he can work alone!”

Zorran cut in. “Or at least get someone more expendable to—“

“Zorran!” Both brothers snapped, prompting the Zero Fleet’s leader to shut up.

Captain Star sighed. “I guess now’s a good time to tell you that Boomer likely won’t be working with either of your fleets. Zero and I have thought it over and talked it out, and he doesn’t need a new harbor tug and the Star Fleet has plenty of tugs as is.”

“… Oh.” Big Stack and Warrior responded awkwardly. As much as they didn’t like working with Boomer, it wasn’t as if they wanted to drive him out of the harbor.

“Yes!” Zorran cheered quietly, though not quietly enough to keep Warrior from hearing him and shooting him a disapproving glance.

Captain Star ignored the tugs’ reactions and continued. “Star Fleet, I’d like you to say goodbye to him once you’re all done with work. Snugboat Harbor wasn’t the right fit for him, but let’s wish him luck.”

“Aye aye!” The Star Fleeters agreed before leaving to help the rest of their fleet finish work for the day. Zorran just turned around, headed for his own dock, and prepared to go to sleep.

—

The sun was just beginning to fall as the Stars and the Zeroes gathered to say goodbye to Boomer. The Zeroes arrived twenty minutes late, because Zorran refused to leave his dock and it took the rest of his fleet to drag him to the meeting spot.

“Goodbye Boomer! We wish you the best of luck!” Sunshine cheered.

The Zero Fleet looked to Zorran, only to realize he was falling asleep where he was floating. Hoping Boomer wouldn’t notice, ZB bumped his leader, jolting him awake.

“Uh— what she said!” Zorran shouted as his fleet sighed disappointedly behind him.

Thankfully, Boomer took no notice. “Thanks guys! I’ll be sure to write or visit or something once I find my new job!” He shouted before sailing off toward the horizon.. But not before accidentally sinking a buoy on his way out.

“Should we tell—“ Otis wondered aloud before Hercules cut him off.

“Nah, Captain doesn’t have to know.” Hercules said, wanting to just enjoy the moment.

But once Boomer passed under Snugboat Harbor’s bridge, a small piece of infrastructure came loose and crashed down onto his bow. While it wasn’t enough to collapse the bridge, it was certainly enough for Boomer to notice as he yelped in pain.

The Star Fleet froze in horror, wondering if they should go and help before Boomer’s voice broke the silence. “I’m okay!”

Realizing the rest of his fleet was staring at him with an expression that could best be described as “We told you so”, Hercules sighed and turned around to head to his dock. “I know, I know, I’ll go tell Captain.”

[emilycollins00]

I LOVE LOVE your headcanons and scenarios so much I can't help but make a request!! How do you think Itaru would react if a colleague (reader) from work found out that he was a gamer, the complete opposite from his work persona and what becomes of their relationship after? THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!

YOU ARE SO VERY WELCOME, DEAR!! 💕 I feel so grateful to receive comments like these, ugh. Hope you like it!

Pairing: Itaru Chigasaki x Reader

Title: Forceful revelation

-

Itaru would never say he liked his job per se. It was more like he had had to get used to it if he wanted to buy his precious games plus a place to play them. Even after all this time working in the same department, he hadn’t tried to get promoted or cared about developing relationships with his colleagues.

Never felt like he needed those things.

He was content doing his expected hours and then going back home at the end of the day. Especially if next day was his day off, like that night.

Waiting for some final copies to be made, he noticed a few colleagues passing by, their jobs already done.

“Good work today, Chigasaki-kun”

Flashing an already practiced working smile, the blond wondered if he would ever remember their names just as much as they liked to remind him of his own “Good work you too”

Just as he predicted, he could hear the faint laugh of his co-workers entering the elevator. Itaru looked at the clock- Only a little more before he could leave. The blond sighed tiredly as he sat again on his desk.

Everyone at the dorm made fun of him, but there really was no heavier burden to carry than the pressure of having to uphold your image and reputation. It wasn’t as easy as he made it look. 

“Chigasaki-san!”

You were a clear example of it.

Itaru didn’t have to lift his head to recognize your steps, but did it anyway. You were practically running and he felt even more tired just by watching you “Y/N-san” he greeted, not moving from his seat as he watched you regain your breath.

It had been a bit more than five months since you had transferred to his department at the company and he still didn’t know how to deal with your personality and your seemingly attachment to his working persona.

“Thank goodness I made it!” you smiled brightly as you regained your lost breath.

At first glance, you and Itaru weren’t that different. You both were usually congratulated for doing a good job at work and had overall good relationships with everyone.

However, Itaru knew better.

You had achieved much more than he had in all his years in such a short time. He even heard rumors that you would probably get promoted to manager by the end of the semester.

Which wasn’t surprising to him though, seeing you didn’t stop moving for a second from one project to another. What had your parent given you as a kid?

“...and so I was wondering if you knew the password for the projector they have in room 201? You know, the one with red chairs and a big plant on the corner”

Itaru hummed, looking around his desk to give you a copy of the passwords “Here you go, you can keep them”

“As expected of Chigasaki-san!” you accepted them happily.

The spring member’s smile faltered. 

Honestly, it was annoying to be put by such high standards.

He had tried to not get close to you, hoping the polite distance he always kept with others worked, but so far, you were still practically glued to him whether it was to ask him for advice or commenting how much you respected him.

…If you knew how he really was, Itaru was sure you wouldn’t be talking about him so happily. Focusing again, he noticed you waiting for something “Sorry, what did you say, Y/N-san?”

“Ah! I heard you are taking tomorrow off?”

“Yes, some personal matters happened at home” he turned around to make you understand he had things to do “I already signed and prepared everything, so there shouldn’t be a problem to send without me the first draft to our fellow company, I already talked with their administration”

“You really are amazing” he heards you whisper impressed.

He didn’t comment on your compliment “Anyway if anything happens tomorrow, I’ll be counting on you, Y/N-san”

Exactly as he thought, you gasped, beaming happily at the thought of being relied on “Of course! Good luck with your personal matter!”

                                             -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“I can’t believe you took a day off just to play games”

Izumi rested her hands on her hips when she discovered the spring member laying on the sofa, tracksuit on and shirt already filled with crumbs from the bag of chips next to him. He already had bags under his eyes.

“I did my overtime and this is how I chose my reward, director”

Rolling her eyes, she took her handbag, considering futile to argue with him “I’m going shopping and then to a meeting, make sure you don’t stay all day in that position, all right?”

Not breaking contact from his game, Itaru hummed a goodbye. Damn, thank god he had taken a day off. This event was being too competitive. He wouldn’t have been able to make the quests unless he spent last night and next 24 hours defending his rank.

At some point the doorbell started ringing “Someone is at the door” he called out loud to no one in particular.

The bell kept ringing. Where were Matsukawa or Citron supposed to be at times like this?

“Itaru, my ears! Open the door, dammit, open the door!” Kamekichi flew over him.

Groaning, he walked towards the entrance, eyes still fixed on the screen. Hadn’t he made it clear he wasn’t planning to move until tomorrow night? “Hey director, you should remember taking your keys when- Shit! How come these fuckers have so much luck? I’m gonna have to fucking sweep the floor with-”

“Chigasaki…san…?”

And for the first time since yesterday, slowly, Itaru broke contact with his controls.

No.

That couldn’t be you.

If anything, the situation happening was just the most lucid dream Itaru had ever had, because there was no way in hell that was real life.

“Itaru, who’s this jerk, want me to beat them up?” Kamekichi had landed on his shoulder, wings moving in an attempt to scare you, but neither of you reacted to it.

Gripping your bag, your face was white, looking like a scared puppy that had just encountered a scary and bigger dog “I, uh… really apologize for coming unannounced on your day off. Chief tried to contact you but, um, we couldn’t reach you and-“

“…Why are you here”

You shivered at the tone of his voice. You had never heard Itaru talk like that to anyone. Ever. You showed him an envelope “T-there’s this document chief needed that you forgot to sign for this afternoon meeting and…”

In silence, he grabbed them, scanning them with a stoic face. You could cut the mood with a knife “Pen” he opened his hand.

“A-ah, right!”

Barely exchanging looks, you took the signed papers and thanked him.

“Chigasa-“

“I hope that’s all, wouldn’t want you to come again and tire yourself out more”

You were practically shaking. Wishing him a good day, you turned and practically ran out of the place.

With the door closed, Itaru leaned his back on it, not even looking at the control resting on his hand.

Out of all the people he didn’t wish to show this side of him, somehow, unconsciously, you had become one of the firsts.

“…Well, shit”

                                            -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When you finally took notice, you had already reached the station, breathing heavily. The situation that had happened moments ago struck you as surreal.

Itaru Chigasaki, your colleague at work, was what you would describe as the epitome of what you aspired to be. His charm, professionalism… could someone be any more perfect?

“I’m gonna have to fucking sweep the floor with…”

You shook your head, still not over it. You had never expected someone you admired so much to be so… different outside work.

Oh god, work.

You mentally groaned, already cringing at what scenario could possibly happen when he came back next week. As you entered the train, your mind started running wild. Would he accuse you? Joke about it? Although he hadn’t seemed comfortable… Wait, did people know about this? Would he threaten you to not say anything? The last thing you wanted was to be on bad terms with him!

As you sat on the platform, you noticed the crumbled documents in your hand, Itaru’s sign finally on them.

So much for a quick visit.

                                               .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Neither of you talked about it when he came back next week.

Or the next one.

Time passed, and you were getting more and more anxious. Your blond colleague had never been someone who was cold to anyone, but it was more than clear that he had made a point not to interact with you under any circumstances, unless it was necessary.

Which was exactly why you understood his raised eyebrows looking at the coffee you had brought to his desk. Thankfully, he took the cup, bringing it to his lips “I believe I left all the files in your place, Y/N-san, do you need anything else?”

"Ah, well..." you had no idea what to say or how to react to him anymore. Itaru could feel it too, however, he didn’t try to alleviate the awkwardness.

It was painfully obvious how much it had shocked you seeing him at the dorm, so he didn’t understand why you kept trying to talk to him “You don’t have to force yourself, Y/N-san, people will notice things like that” he kept talking, his mouth covered by the cup

You opened your mouth to try and deny it but closed it, unable to. The awkward silence that had followed the last few days appearing again.

Pressing your lips together, you whispered an excuse and turned back to your own desk, dejected.

As he finished the coffee, Itaru couldn’t help but follow your figure. He had arrived expecting rumors about him, but no one seemed to have changed their demeanor.

So then, why did he feel like he was getting punched when you averted your eyes from his on meetings or he felt like being a dick to you when after it you tried to appease him?

Itaru leaned on his chair, sighing. Was it guilt?

You were someone who aspired to do your best with all you got, reminding him so much of people like Sakuya or director.

Maybe that’s why he felt like he had disappointed you, which made Itaru angrier and more confused. Why should he feel bad about it? It had been your fault. Leaving those thoughts aside he tried to concentrate again. It was actually better for him, now that he didn’t have to deal with you.

At least that’s what he repeated to himself.

                                         -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was almost dinner time when the doorbell at Mankai rang.

“I’ll go!” Izumi left the kitchen, opening the door and finding you there, not that the young woman knew you “Yes?”

“Hi, uh… Is Chigasaki-san inside? I’m a… colleague from work”

The young woman laughed nervously, looking inside and then back at you again “Is… Itaru-san expecting you?”

You shook your head “I can wait here if he prefers to change. I’m not in a hurry” 

“Oh! Um… all right, I’ll call him. Please wait a second”

The door closed again, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm down. A minute later, the blond came out. You took another look at his appearance. It really was miles apart from his working persona.

“I figured it wouldn’t matter anymore” he shrugged, answering as if he had just read your thoughts. His personality was on another level too “Why are you here?”

You swallowed down “I... I am lazy too, Chigasaki-san!”

Frowning, Itaru opened his mouth confused “What are you… “

“I don’t like to clean at home and get overwhelmed easily! also, I hate waking up early and I don’t like waiting for the food to get cold and end up burning myself…!”

What were you doing shouting all those things about you?

“…I also tend to leave everything until the last minute because I love spending time on the phone and have to make up for it after and, uh, what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable in your own house! But..!” you clenched your fists “You are still the Chigasaki-san that I admire and respect, it doesn’t matter if you behave differently outside work. You are you!”

Itaru stared at you, not knowing how to react to your outburst.

Seeing your expectant face waiting for his reaction, his mind suddenly compared it to how the spring troupe did that cringy act to keep him from leaving the dorm.

Noticing the similarities, he found himself smiling and then laughing, under you confused stare.

‘You are you!’

A tiny smile reached his face. It was as if the burden and guilt he had been carrying these weeks about  being fake had lifted from his shoulders “…You really are something else” 

You raised your hands, moving them to reject those words “I’m sorry! I just meant it was…!” Itaru kept staring at you with a smile you had never seen before and you blushed, not knowing how to behave right now. 

“Ey, Y/N-san…”

“Y-yes?”

He looked at the dorm and then to you, smirking now “…Would you like to play some games?”

                                             -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

“Fuck, Itaru-san I told you to wait! You are gonna kill me too if you throw that grenade now!”

“I don’t need weak people in my party” the blond pressed the bomb, eliminating every single person surrounding him “GG, Banri”

“SHIT! Why would you-!” they kept arguing until a knock was heard on the door

“May I come in?”

“Oh, Y/N-chan-san! It’s been a while” the high school boy turned around

You smiled at him “I know! There are a lot of things to take care of as a new manager… I brought some snacks as an apology though” you lifted a bag “I’m not late, am I?”

Itaru scoffed, still looking at the screen “Hey there, Y/N, more like I thought you had gotten scared”

You frowned, making space for yourself in the couch next to them “I never back down from a challenge Itaru, and you know it! You are just too enthusiastic when it comes to these things, so I have to prepare myself to kick your ass”

“Mmm… I wonder where did that ‘I admire you the most, Chigasaki-san’ attitude go. I kind of miss it”

“I can respect you and still want to see you eating dirt, you know”

The spring member snickered, stopping the game and giving you the controls “Yeah, yeah, let's show you how to really level up to the fullest to at least entertain me”

“You bet I will!”

Itaru wouldn’t say he tried hard to achieve big things or create ties with others, that just wasn’t his thing. 

However, glancing at you talking to Banri about the best way to make him lose, he thought allowing you entering in his world hadn’t been so bad after all.

And he smiled. Guess relationships really worked like that.

_________________________________________________________

Hopefully you guys ended up liking it! Have a wonderful day! 💕

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Two

*You Are My Favorite Distraction*

Louis had started Preserve Earth when he was 16 after saving most of every paycheck he had earned and also getting a loan with his mother's help. He then went through an array of product sourcing and planning and by age twenty he had products to offer local businesses. He started with cafés, small ones that didn't see a lot of traffic that would be easy to supply. With every yes, he got five no’s, but he didn't stop and had continued and had went back to his rejections and slowing grew. Then they had started going to busier cafés and small family-owned restaurants. Then he got more products and offered them to his customers.

Louis then bought land out in the rural area near London and built compost stalls and started offering compost bins to the cafés and restaurants who were willing to do the work to compost. Louis made laminated posted about what was and wasn't compostable and they hung them up near the compost bins and while there were of course mistakes they got fewer each time. Louis bought a truck and hauled compost bins every Monday to the land. He built a building on the land for the workers he hired and built a fence around it and started offering the composted to the farmers and greenhouse workers as well as florists.

He had a few farmers offer to help build more compost stalls when his were starting to fill up. Most of his income came from the compost for a while. Then he bought an old recycling center with the help of a small loan and put his company name and logo on it and hired employees there as well. Before he knew it, he had a real business. It was still small and still growing, but he was making good money and doing good, and he knew he had a lot more to do. So, he had talked to Zayn who had been secretly coming up with product designs and ideas behind Louis' back. He was stuck for a few years as he paid off loans and debts and focused on what he already had. He focused on growing his profit and money and then bought a small warehouse to have products shipped to and packaged from the manufacturer so he could have more storage space.

By twenty-three he had a real company, and his company was recognized, and he was being interviewed by small journalists. He hit a big leap when one of his new cafés became a chain with five cafés in London and had boasted about his products. Their customers also had apparently been posting about them and suddenly Louis had more offers than he could supply and had to turn some down with a promise of contacting them when he had more inventory. His small warehouse was turned into a large warehouse and his manufacturer was replaced with one closer to London that also used his recycled products, so Louis was just getting money back essentially.

He had to get lawyers and had to sign contracts and he had to trademark his items. Then he was opening his corporate office at twenty-five and became a millionaire at twenty-six as he opened his Manchester locations. More products, more customers, more employees, and more money. It was almost routine. He visited his compost locations and recycling center annually along with his Manchester and other locations. Then a few years later Manchester put a twenty-three-year-old in a Chief Officer position that was essentially the face of the company for the media. Louis was nervous he will admit that, but he trusted the President there and trusted his judgment and when he was asked about it by a few paparazzi outside his office he told them exactly that.

Harry Styles made his first press conference only a few days later and Louis watched it in his office live. The moment Harry stood up he understand immediately why he had been given the job. He was the most attractive man Louis had ever laid eyes on with his curly hair pushed back and his perfectly fitting navy-blue suit. Louis had gone to Manchester a few days later hoping to meet Harry in person but had been told he talking with a few journalists about the Manchester warehouse relocation. Each time he visited it seemed like Harry was busy or his office door was close which meant he was on the phone or didn't want to be interrupted. However, two years later no one could deny Harry was amazing for the job and Louis was proud to have him representing the Manchester branch so well.

Then suddenly during a live press conference about the new recycling center being built in Manchester Harry wore a pink suit. Which Louis hadn't really thought was an issue (well except that baby pink was such a lovely color for Harry's skin tone but that's not important). However, the very next day Harry was in the headlines for wearing said pink suit and Louis thought it was just a big joke. No one could honestly be upset about it, but they had been. Well, the older people had been, the ones in their forties and beyond. It had gotten to a point where Louis ordered every President to make a speech at the same time and sent them the exact words, he would be saying however they could switch it up if they wanted to. After his media officer had announced him, he had stood up on stage and defended his employee over his clothing choice.

"It's ridiculous that I have to make a press conference about this. It is ridiculous that one of my employees is being under fire for wearing a suit to work. With that I will say this as many times as I have to, to remind you all what this company stands for. Preserve Earth is an ecofriendly, recycling, biodegradable, and compostable company that is LGBT plus friendly. Our employees are encouraged to wear whatever they feel comfortable in as long as it is appropriate for their position. We encourage all of our employees to be their authentic selves and to be whoever they want to be and to wear whatever they wish to wear. The Chief Media Officer dress policy states and I quote, "The Chief Media Officer must wear business formal attire during press releases that will be aired on television. They are not required, but are encouraged to have their skirts, if they so choose to wear them, at their knee. However, they are allowed to wear them to their thighs, miniskirts are not allowed it must be two to three inches below the bottom. This is to prevent cameras from getting inappropriate shots of a person as they bend, squat, walk up or down stairs, or sit down this is not an act to prevent 'distractions' in the workplace. The Chief Media Officer is required to wear business casual attire to work unless told otherwise." With that said Mr. Styles did not break dress code policy and therefore will not be 'held responsible'. Mr. Styles has done an amazing job representing this company for the Manchester area and has proven himself time and time again. Only a mere few years ago every single one of you were doubting his abilities to do this job and he has proven himself to be valuable and has been offered multiple jobs by multiple companies all around the world. Since you have all forgotten that in less than a weeks’ time let me remind you that Mr. Styles has not once been in a controversial situation despite his young age. He has help grow the Manchester company through interviews and press releases. His suit color does not diminish his work ethic or his past contributions to this company and I will not tolerate any of my employees to feel like they can't wear a certain color because society has feminized it to a point of a man wearing it is wrong or takes away his masculinity. Mr. Styles can wear a bright pink glittery suit to a press conference, and I promise you he will do his job just as great as he did it in a plain black suit. I don't see any headlines about my female workers wearing blue or red even though it's considered male colors so don't you dare make a headline about my male workers wearing pink or lavender or pastel. Whatever it is as long as it is appropriate it is allowed and there will be absolutely no criticism from me or anyone else working under my name. Anyone who disagrees may quit and leave. That is all."

Louis may had said too much but he didn't care. How dare they question Harry's work performance because of a damn color. (Louis refused to admit his small (*big*) crush on Harry was the reason). A few days after that Louis was informed, they were about to run out of products due the younger generation buying everything that they offered to customers. He had gone on social media and found that despite the older generation not liking Harry's suit choice the younger and his generation in fact loved it and was all for it. They had both gone viral apparently and Louis was honestly shocked the youth cared so much. He had always thought they were too stuck in their phones to care but he was glad to know that despite their flaws they were very progressive and very much about LGBTQ+ acceptance and the community. 

Louis had never hidden the fact that he was a gay man. Had always told interviewers he was gay whether or not they included it wasn't any of his concern. His employees knew he was gay, and his customers knew, his public profiles labeled himself as gay in the bios, he went to pride every year. They sold at pride and fairs and the website even stated they were supportive of whomever their customers and employees wanted to be. Louis didn't think about it, but he was sort of the one of the few openly gay CEOs and the youth was right that he and Harry was an example of sexual orientation not defining your work ethic or worth. It was a nice feeling when Louis thought about it, that he was a leader for the youth in a way. 

Louis then found out how well the social media profiles he had agreed to were doing. He had called the Manchester president and after learning that it had even Harry's idea and Harry's work, he had asked him to have Harry write down everything. It was proving to be a great idea of connecting with the community and the youth. When he gotten the list and links, he sent forwarded it to the Presidents of the other branches and after a few weeks of organizing each branch location had their own social media accounts. The ones in charge of them all took tips from Harry's page of course and it had really helped to grow business.

Years passed and though his crush on Harry never went away, he was able to reel it in some. He continued working and expanding and along the way he slowly stopped visiting his corporate branches and instead focused on visiting his customers, compost fields, compost field customers, recycling facilities, the partners who bought from his recycling facilities, his warehouses, and his manufacturing factories.

Then his Manchester President was retiring and being replaced with the COO Jeffery Fitz and things...shifted. It was a slow shift, one no one caught until it was too late and when Louis had questioned Eleanor, his Chief Networking Officer, she claimed they never sent an email until the other day Louis had reached without thinking and headed for Manchester with them. He didn't stop and think about Eleanor's past work issues or her multiple warnings. He didn't think about how she was hardly seen working or how he had to asks her for reports five times before he received them. No all he thought about was that for the first time in his entire twenty plus years of running this company one of his branches was completely broke and had to be temporarily shut down and he was going to have to do something to stop good people from going without work.

He had stormed into the building told Eleanor to find the Networking officer while he dealt with Fitz. When he found the Networking officer, he yelled at him without even thinking or asking or talking first. He just started yelling despite Liam Payne being rewards by the last president for amazing work. Then to make it all worse while he was yelling Harry had entered and yelled at him. Which took him by surprise. Then Harry continued to yell and call him out and despite it all being too overwhelming to comprehend he was definitely turned on which was completely inappropriate and not at all what he needed his body to do. He needed his body to form words and sentenced and apologize not send blood to his cock and make it hard.

To make it all worse after he had finally gotten every little, microscopic detail and apologized to Liam and explaining himself better to the guy. He had just shrugged it off and said the real challenge he would be Harry. Which was not how he wanted to start their acquaintanceship off with. An acquaintanceship that would turn into a friendship that turned into a relationship that turned into a marriage because that was Louis' end goal once he had Harry in London. Hopefully.

Which was not what he needed to be thinking about as he paced the conference room trying to come up with a plan for all of the employees who have stuck around through terrible management and who have been fired unjustly. Also, he was fairly sure Harry hated him which was not okay for their future marriage working relationship. Yes...that was what he meant. Louis was pulled from his thoughts by the door opening and when he turned, he saw it was Harry coming in carrying a few files and his laptop in his arm. He set the items down upfront of a chair as he started speaking.

"I have the media coming in five hours I figured that would give us plenty of time to discuss everything. I also have a list of the employees here who have kids or would just be an inconvenience to be relocated except for Liverpool. I also have the positions they had worked in and filled in for. Then I have a list of the corporate offices that have positions opened. There's only twelve of us after all it should be pretty easy to relocate everyone in a position similar to theirs. Liverpool alone has eight openings for chief positions or office positions. I also have a list of potential questions the nosey ones will ask they will sit in the back and will not pay attention and so the questions will be very pointless so good luck with that." Harry said as he handed a few papers over to Louis who stared at them in shock.

"You did all this in two hours?" Louis asked.

"No if I had two hours, I would have had your answers typed out for you I did all this in forty-five minutes. Did anyone make new tea? Seriously even the Irish one makes better tea than the brit boy. He drinks coffee by the way can you believe that? What a traitor." It took a second for Louis to follow the sudden change of conversation then he looked to Carrie, his assistant who looked just as lost as he felt.

“What.” Louis said completely confused.

“Exactly. So, tea?”

“Yeah…yes…yes I made some.” Carrie hurried out, “I’m sorry, but don’t these usually fall into the assistant’s job, or I guess Liam’s.”

“If you want them done horribly sure. Liam is great at a lot of things; organization is not one of them. Believe me I live with the guy you do not want that man making up a list. He’s great at leadership though if he just stops relying on me all the time that is. Would make an excellent President if he just starts to believe in himself a bit more.”

“I think you’d make a great one.”

“No. I am good with the media position. I love where I am and what I do.”

“You’re probably the only one who actually said that today.” Carrie told him.

“I have no doubt about that. If you think about it, I created the Brand job, so the Brand Officer was always my duty anyway. Communications and Content falls inline with Media. It just has a few more extra bits and bobs. The only one that I wasn’t already doing was customer, but that was an easy add in. I get why we have them in different positions, but I personally think it could definitely be managed by one or two people with the same title or similar.” Harry explained.

“Hey, don’t look at me every President is in charge with who they hire and what positions they choose. I’m quite sure Fitz just signed everyone everything that seemed remotely similar and gave you all extra work to keep you busy.” Louis said raising his hand when Carrie looked at him, “I have two Chief Media Officers and they share the entirety of the responsibilities. I then have a Chief Customer Officer who handles customer relationship and monitors the customer communications about the company.”

“I could live without the customer stuff pretty sure I can only handle it because I worked in the customer call center on the second floor back in London for over a year.” Louis furrowed his brow for a moment before his eyes widen and he grinned.

“Holy shit that was so long ago. I forgot the call center was located on the second floor.”

“It’s not anymore?” Harry asked as he sat down across from Carrie.

“No Patrick kept telling me his best worker was complaining about the elevator and that we should move it to the empty room on the fourth floor, so the elevator wasn’t directly by workers on the phone. When we finally moved it, Patrick said the worker left.”

“That was me and I do not apologize for that either.” Harry said laughing.

“Wait the call center was on the second floor?” Carrie questioned.

“Yes, and the thing is the second floor was a perfect spot for a call center like it was wide and there was no weird echo and there was a bathroom as well as a few vending machine hookups for snacks. However, the elevator shaft didn’t have a fucking door on it, and it was the only floor that didn’t have a shaft door. Now imagine you’re on the phone with a customer who thinks she knows more about the company than you do and you’re really fucking irritated and you’re biting you’re tongue alright. Now imagine the loudest banging on metal you have ever heard then multiple that by a thousand and that was the elevator twenty times an hour. My desk was literally six feet diagonal from the open shaft. The number of times I almost walked out of that job was unbelievable.”

“To be fair I didn’t realize how loud that thing was until I went down there myself and was talking to Patrick when it happened.” Louis defended, “Also I was in the process of getting a door for it, but it the room had to be empty, and I had to arrange for you all to be somewhere else with the phones. It was an awfully long process to get everything sorted and ready for installation.”

“It was horrible, and I also worked in the recycling facility for two weeks before I quit and went to the packaging warehouse.”

“How long have you worked for this company?” Carrie asked.

“Half my life. I started at sixteen in the composting field had a grand ole time back then. Thought it was coolest thing ever. Then at eighteen I switched to the recycling center and stay for two weeks then I quit because I was terrible at it, I don’t know why. Just wasn’t my thing. Then I went to the packaging warehouse then I went to the call center and then I graduated and left London to work under the Media Officer here before me. Then he left for Liverpool, and I took over. Seventeen years in total.”

“Pretty sure the only one who beats that is Zayn who has been with me since the beginning. I only had products for nineteen years. You started working around the time I started hiring.”

“My family owns a farm near where you built your first compost stalls from. We usually did our own composting, but my parents always believed in helping small businesses especially ones with such a good goal. He stopped by and helped a few times making sure they were layering it correctly. He would tell me which compost bin had the most potential when he sent me up to get some so that way, I wouldn’t bring home the shitty stuff.” Harry said laughing at the end of it making Louis’ jaw drop in shock.

“It would have worked either way he’s just very particular about his dirt for his crops can’t blame the man for wanting good dirt for the food that feeds his family. He even told the neighbors bout you. He would send me to work in the compost field with little bags of old crops I had to sneak into the bins when no one was looking. He told me if I was caught to tell them I found them in the bins like that and I was getting the bags out.”

“You little shit.”

“Sorry?” Harry offered giggling clearly not at all sorry for his actions.

“What are we laughing about lads?” Liam asked entering the room.

“Remember when our father would send me to work in the compost field with our old rotten crops?”

“Oh yeah you were so worried about getting caught.” Liam said as he sat beside Harry, “My father would send the rotten food to Harry’s father and Harry’s father would send it off with Harry and Harry would come home telling us all about his victory of sneaking in the compost.”

“Wait this was a regular thing?” Louis asked.

“Every day. Our dads weren’t going to pay to put our waste in the compost we were buying mate. Be lucky they paid for it all I’m pretty sure they had Harry sneak a few handfuls back home a few times.”

“Innocent until proven guilty.” Harry said with raised hands as Louis shook his head chuckling, “But to be fair the social media idea I came up with, if I had stolen bags of compost, it’s all been paid back plus interest so...you’re welcome.”

Louis was definitely looking forward to working with Harry and Liam down in London, if nothing else just to have people who obviously have a great sense of humor and aren’t afraid to think Louis as a person instead of as the boss. They stopped their conversation as more people started to come in the room for the meeting.

[365days365movies]

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2006) (Part 1)

So...we meet again, Bond. What’ve you been doing for the past few years?

...What. Not who, James, WHAT. Jeez.

Whatever. BrosBond had 3 movies after GoldenEye, and they were...not great, from what I’ve heard. Remember, I wasn’t as big of a fan of GoldenEye as many critics and fans were; so, I can’t imagine what I’d think of the latter three. Maybe one day, but not today!

Today, I’m focusing my sights on the revitalization of the brand. See, in 2002, Die Another Day came out, and that movie was apparently crazy. TOO crazy. So crazy, in fact, that audiences and critics accused it of losing the plot, and the production studio in charge (Eon Productions) had a yearning to change direction. And their inspiration came from...a surprising place.

See, Joel Schumacher’s campy, over-the-top Batman films were basically wiped out by Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reinvention of the character in Batman Begins. Which is, in my opinion, a highly underrated classic, Seriously. And in 2005, this film was absolutely a smash-hit. Batman was cool again, which a lot of people never thought would happen in film. Eon saw this, and thought...how can we apply that to Bond?

Out with Brosnan...in with Craig.

The first of the new, darker, reinvented Bond films is planned for release in 2006, starring Daniel Craig as the suave, sophisticated spy. And the director of the film was selected to be...Martin Campbell? From GoldenEye? The guy who kinda sorta started the modern over-the-top Bond? Really? I mean, OK. The writers this time are different...except for one. I didn’t talk about the writers last time because I don’t like putting people on blast if I don’t gotta. This time...maybe. We’ll see.

If this Casino Royale is basically Bond Begins, I’m definitely interested. Maybe this’ll revitalize that Bond-love from the Connery days. Let’s find out! We’re also gonna look at the Bond checklist again!

Gadgets: better have more cool gadgets than GoldenEye, I swear...

Bond Girl: GoldenEye’s Natalya wasn’t bad, to be honest; let’s see who his Inevitable Love Interest is this time.

Villain: Alec Trevelyan had so much potential. I need my dastardly villain, let’s do this. Oh, and let’s throw the henchman in here, too. Xenia Onatopp was...a lot...but she was a memorable henchman, at least.

Music: Of course. GoldenEye’s theme was good, and we’ll see how 2006 does.

OK, movie time. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at an office building in Prague, where a man makes his way up to his office. Waiting there for him is, of course, James Bond (Daniel Craig). The man is Dryden, section chief at the British Embassy in Prague, whom M has accused of selling secrets, a big no-no. But Bond...isn’t a double-0 agent. Huh. You got me interested.

Apparently, agents get the two zeroes once they’ve killed two people on file. James hadn’t killed anyone...until recently. Which is when we get this.

OH SHIT

This is an absolutely BRUTAL fight. It’s not choreographed flashily, it’s not pretty...it’s rough. It’s intense. And it’s...oh my God, wow. Made me feel it. And what’s astonishing is that it’s SO short.

On learning this, Dryden tells him not to worry, the second one is...

...YOU GOT ME. I’M IN FOR THE FUCKIN’ RIDE

HOW??? How is it that in 3 minutes of screentime, I’m already more satisfied by Craig’s Bond than I was for the ENTIRETY of GoldenEye? That is masterfully done, right off the bat. WOW. We even get a smooth-as-silk segue into the classic bullet turret sequence, and that takes us right into the song and opening credits. And...wow.

Here’s the thing about Bond openings, as I mentioned last time: they were all directed by one guy up until GoldenEye, and were basically all silhouetted women with themes and scenes from the movie projected around them. The Brosnan movies followed suit, always having silhouetted women in one way or another. Die Another Day used CGI women and...a really bad Madonna song. It was...it is NOT GOOD, guys. Look it up, it’s the most 2002 thing I’ve ever heard.

But here’s the fin bit about Casino Royale. This is the first Bond movie opening with no women in it. Yeah. It’s the first one. And the song is Chris Cornell’s You Know My Name, and it’s good! Not sure it’s going in my soundtrack, though.

Finally, the opening credits sequence itself: it’s once again Daniel Kleinman doing it, and it’s actually inspired by the first James Bond book Casino Royale, which had already had a TV special and unofficial Bond movie made from it! The cover had a playing card motif, and the opening carries over that motif creatively. I really dig it, if I’m honest! Definitely a welcome break from the 44 years of Bond films preceding it.

Uganda! And we meet the villain of this film: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). And GODDAMN if that isn’t a Bond villain! He’s a banker, making a deal with a rebel leader, Steven Obanno (Isaach de Bankole), via their liason Mr. White (Jesper Christiensen). Setting up an attack by supplying Obanno with money, he sells his stocks of a company called Skyfleet, knowing that they’re about to fail.

Meanwhile, a ferret’s fighting an Asian species of cobra. In Madagascar. My zoology senses are EXPLODING, OH my God. So much wrong there. Anyway, there’s a bombmaker in the crowd watching the fight. He’s being tailed by Bond and another agent, Carter, who tips off the guy by being a bad spy. Bond chases him to a construction yard. What now, James?

Awesome. Why is this awesome when I said that the tank was dumb? Because at least it makes sense for a bulldozer to go haywire in a construction yard, just sayin’. Plus, this dude clearly isn’t the best, as he fires on construction workers and cops.

Eventually, this chase sequence brings us to the top of a crane, where this exchange happens.

I, uh...I love this movie already. That’s goddamn great.

The chase scene as a whole is also fantastic, as it continues off the bridge and into an abandoned building, then escalates into the streets, brings in law enforcement, and eventually ends with Bond at an embassy, facing down both the military and the bomb maker. He kills the guy, shoots some gas tanks, grabs the bomb, and then gets the hell out of there.

...Y’know what, that was fucking amazing, but he also almost certainly caused an international incident there. And I should be annoyed about that, but guess what! It makes sense! This is an inexperienced Bond, one who’s JUST been promoted to 00 status as 007, as the prologue explained. So, y’know what? I’m into it!

Cut to a yacht, like you do in a Martin Campbell Bond film. There, we have our villain, Le Chiffre, playing a card game. Also, he weeps blood. Yeah. HE WEEPS BLOOD.

OK, if that isn’t some Bond villain shit, I don’t know WHAT is. He’s also asthmatic, because I love it. I love it so much. He’s a mathematically-brilliant asthmatic that weeps blood. More, please. 

He’s also a person aware of what Bond did at the embassy, as it’s already become an international incident! Thank you for showing consequences, movie! Damn! I love it! This has two additional consequences. One, Le Chiffre notes that the code “Ellipsis” used by the bomber may be soon to expire, indicating a connection between the two. And the second consequence? M’s pissed.

M! DAME JUDI DENCH! One of my favorite things about GoldenEye was bringing in Judi Dench as M, and she made it through the reboot! And she’s still as entertaining as she was before, calling Bond out for his stupidity, and explaining that she misses the Cold War.

In her apartment, M does her normal exposition schtick, and her interactions with Bond are fantastic here. She’s understandably angry at him, and gives him what for, but she’s also clearly impressed that he FIGURED OUT WHERE SHE LIVES, as well as her REAL NAME. Shows her opinion of Bond and aspects of Bond’s character in a single, masterful stroke. 

Well. Goddamn. Done.

The Bahamas! Bond’s here to find Alex Dimitrios (Simon Abkarian), a Greek businessman who’s believed to have a connection with Le Chiffre himself. And, as James Bond is wont to do, he finds him at a party, playing cards. And here’s where the reinvention of Bond comes full circle.

See, Bond’s doing all the typical Bond things, yeah. But there are some differences present here, as well as some neat nuances. Bond isn’t wearing the suit, first of all. He actually hasn’t worn a suit the whole movie, which makes perfect sense for a spy. Suits aren’t exactly the least conspicuous thing in the world; bound to get you noticed if you don’t want to be.

And then, there’s the girl. This is Solange Dimitrios (Catherina Murino), the wife of Alex who was treated BADLY by him at the party. That gives her a reason to take Bond’s offer for a ride to his place, outside of just his raw animalistic charm that he seems to have in some of these movies. Look at that, already more chemistry than he had with Natalya in GoldenEye.

And yes, this results in her cheating on Alex. Is her cheating justified from a moral standpoint? No, of course it isn’t. And of course, this leads to the typical Bond-handsome-sex-GOOD sequence, but again, some nuance here! First of all, he doesn’t win her over with corny clever lines, like what we saw in GoldenEye multiple ties. Second, this is actually all an attempt to get some infomation from her about her husband. Bond might be enjoying it, but his womanizing here actually has a purpose. And that’s rare!

That’s further punctuated by the fact that he STRAIGHT UP LEAVES BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. Yeah, she tells him that Alex just made his way to Miami, and he leaves! Dick move, yeah, but it makes sense! James isn’t here for pleasure, he’s here for work!

He follows Alex to a Bodies at Work exhibit (you know, the preserved and skinned cadavers put into poses that used to tour around the USA? I saw it in Times Square at the end of its popularity. A little ghoulish, maybe, but I think it’s pretty cool), where the two of them get in a very tense close-up knife fight in public.

Alex is dead, but not before passing off a package to someone else at the exhibition. Bond tails the guy to Miami International Airport, where the largest airplane in the world is set to be unveiled. Using the code sent to the bombers, Bond gets into the back, and goes to intercept the disguised bomber who’s set to blow up the SkyChonk (I mean it, that giant airplane is THICCC).

Time for another cool chase sequence! Some luggage is destroyed, along with a bus, the cops join in on the chase, an airplane is prevented from landing (making someone on that plane probably very upset), and Bond somehow manages to prevent the plane from blowing up. And it’s by the SKIN of his teeth, lemme tell you. Also, he blows up a dude with his own flashlight bomb.

Nice. Somehow, Bond isn’t arrested, and makes his way back to the Bahamas. And it looks like Solange isn’t the Bond girl after all. Because she was thought to be the information leak (which she was, to an extent), she was tortured to death. Whoof.

M’s in the Bahamas now, and the exposition continues. She’s done with Bond’s bullshit, and she plants a tracker under his skin. She explains that with the big boi plane destroyed, somebody stood a lot to gain financially from the stock crash to come. Except that the plane wasn’t destroyed, and that person lost $100 million by “betting the wrong way.”

That person, of course, was Le Chiffre, a manthematical genius and chess prodigy, who plays poker for fun, and plays the stock market with his clients’ money. Bond’s the best poker player in MI6 (a good addition that we already saw foreshadowed earlier! See what I mean?), and she’s sending him to a high stakes poker game that Le Chiffre’s looking to regain his money from. 

Bond FINALLY dons his suit, and gets on a train in Montenegro, where he meets...

Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). THERE’S our Bond girl! Although, there’s a reference to Miss Moneypenny in their introduction, which is interesting. But Vesper is an agent for the British Treasury, supplying the money for the buy-in for the tournament. And their conversation on the train...wow. Now THIS is chemistry, seriously.

Vesper’s a great character, and she gives Bond NO quarter. She reads his character, and calls him out very accurately. They also explain why both Bond and Vesper are good at poker: it’s all about reading people. I’m genuinely impressed by how this movie is put together, and how well-thought out Bond is as a character. And this is the dimension I love to see in a Bond girl as well!

GODDAMN, I am in love with this movie. More coming in Part 2!

[k-writer1998]

Not Bad, Rookie

Prompt fic: officer! jeongin x detective! reader

fluff

w.c: 2.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking up to a call about a crime scene was a given with my occupation but it wasn’t appreciated when I was at the station late last night. I’m glad my hair didn’t need much care after I got a boy cut although my bangs have grown to my cheekbones and keep getting in my face. Brushing my hair to the side, I got ready and went to the crime scene. There were already officers around taking photos and numbering the scene but my eyes zeroed in on a particularly cheerful face talking with forensics. The moment he saw me approaching, his face fell a bit.

“I can’t believe we’re stuck being partners again,” He muttered under his breath.

“Well honey. Hate it or not, the universe loves to conspire us together,” I remark sarcastically.

“We are not in the Shakespearean era my guy.”

“I am either “detective” or “y/n” not “my guy” or whatever slang you have up your sleeve.”

      Although I understood why the chief continued to pair us together it didn’t mean I liked it any better than Jeongin did. Yang Jeongin… a fresh-faced officer known for his bright personality and friendly disposition, the complete opposite to my strict personality and blunt words. The chief says to learn from each other but playing nice with people isn’t really my cup of tea so not sure what else I could learn. I give him one thing though, the kid knows how to use his mouth if he doesn’t agree. The crime was a clear break and enter case, multiple stab wounds to the victim’s chest and abdomen, but no signs of robbery. Possibly premeditated… a stalker? Ex-lover? After investigating the crime scene more we headed back to the station.

“I’ll look into people close to the victim, check to see if there are any similar crimes. The scene feels too clean for it not to be a repeat offender.”

“Do y-”

“Y/n the chief wants you in his office.”

      I gave Jeongin a shrug as he let out a defeated sigh and went to do as I asked. When I entered the office both of us gave displeased looks which I don’t know what his was for. 

“Do you remember what you did on the last case?”

“I caught the culprit?”

“While endangering yourself and everyone in the surrounding area.” 

“There was no danger to anyone else other than myself and I had everything under control.”

“You need to stop with this reckless behavior. You’re good at your job but if you make the wrong move you’re not going to be doing it anymore.”

“Sir-”

“Don’t argue with me on this. I talked you out of a transfer today because the higher ups didn’t trust in your methods even if you bring in the bad guy at the end of the day. They’ll be keeping an eye on you so just stick with Jeongin on the case and don’t be reckless.”

“About that, why do you keep partnering me with him? I know you tell me to learn from him but I just don’t get it.”

“You need to stop letting your ego get in the way then. You’re a great detective, do your job and pay attention to the details and you’ll know.” 

      Dang. Okay I do admit that there are times where I’m too rushed in my decisions which may have resulted in minor injuries to myself… and property that one time… With a sigh I sit back at my desk and start working. After going over her personal records, noting contacts, and making calls I realized how late it was. Stretching before cleaning up my stuff, I started to head out but as I headed to the door I noticed a light in the very corner of the room. All I could see was a stack of files and a tuft of black hair peeking from behind it. Who knew there was someone who loses track of time other than me, the others are always teasing me about it. With it already being late I decided to let the person know they should head home soon but then they leaned back in a stretch and the familiar baby face appeared. Jeongin? Is he still working on the task I gave him? Walking up to his desk, I knocked on the shelf behind him.

“It’s late you know.”

“Oh is it?”

“Yeah, everyone else already went home.”

“Couldn’t tell behind all these files,” he awkwardly laughs.

“Do you always stay this late?”

“On occasion yes. I read more into other cases to make up a bit for my lack of experience.”

      His honesty threw me off a bit. We butt heads so much I never realized how honest he is. That on top of his effort to make up for the experience gap… maybe he isn’t bad after all. The air grew tense as neither of us spoke. This was the first time we’ve casually chatted and it wasn’t about work. On instinct my eyes scanned over his desk and noticed a small pile separated from the rest of the stacks.

“What’s that pile over there?” I nodded my head in it’s direction.

“You were right about it being too clean. There are three other cases in the last year with similar set up. Home invasion but no burglary and stab wounds in the victim’s chest and abdomen.”

“Is there a similarity between the victims?”

“Uhm… they’re all low ranked office workers in their twenties, female, short dark hair-”

“Okay, next thing tomorrow we’ll look into if there are mutual contacts among the four and any other connections but for now let’s go home kid.”

      Two weeks passed with reinvestigating the old cases and following leads, some which were dead ends, we were able to single out the culprit and gather enough evidence to convict him. Our investigation, no matter how careful we were, came around to him and spooked him so he hasn’t been around his home or work though for the arrest. We were currently discussing how to arrest him… well more of arguing. Let me be clear though in those two weeks investigating Jeongin and I had gotten to a pleasant place in our partnership. Once I stopped the superiority thing in my head, he was a smart kid who worked in a less direct, and at times more effective, way. He still talked back a lot but they were valid points he brought up when countering my probable bad choice of rushed decision making. Currently we were arguing over me being the bait.

“This is the best option, I check off all of the killer’s preferences.”

“But he’s jumpy right now, he knows we’re on his tail. You don’t know what he is willing to do to not get caught plus he’ll be careful about his marks.”

“I’m a trained officer Jeongin, plus you and several other officers will be in there to cover me.”

“It’s a crowded place though, it’s easier for him to take a hostage and it’s a possibility that we can’t get to you on time or might lose you.”

“Okay we obviously aren’t getting anywhere with this. Let’s flip a coin fair and square to decide cause neither of us will let up.”

“... fine.”

      He begrudgingly agreed and I pulled out a coin. I told him to call it and he said heads, oh Jeongin. I’m sorry for tricking you but you’re also at fault for being naïve enough to believe I wasn’t stubborn enough to force my way. I purposely flipped the coin in a way where it was sure to land on tails.

“There, no more arguments. I go in.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“I trust that you won’t let that happen kid.”

“I’m only a year younger than you,” he rolls his eyes.

“With that attitude, you got some ways to go before I stop calling you kid.”

      Too many bodies, drunk people, and music so loud I can’t even hear my thoughts. If this wasn’t the killer’s main hunting ground I wouldn’t be in this club right now, not my scene. At the bar I grabbed a drink and turned to scan the crowd, pinpointing each officer and Jeongin in the crowd. I ran a bored hand through my hair as a guy tried to hit on me until I caught sight of my target at the entrance. As he travelled through the crowd he kept his eyes trained on me and I was thankful for my friend for lending me this maroon off the shoulder top and leather jeans because I owned nothing that was similar to the victims’ styles.  Before he reached me I nodded at Jeongin before facing the bartender with a smile as the killer pulled up beside me. We started talking and everything was going according to plan until the killer leaned in to speak to me.

“How about we take this outside?”

“Wow forward aren’t we?”

“You can say that.”

      Suddenly the tables turned as I felt something cold poking at my side. Instinctively my body wanted to jerk away but his arm had wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him and the weapon. 

“Ah, ah, ah. Don’t want to cause a scene now do we? Let’s head out now.”

      Shit. My eyes caught with Jeongin’s whose eyebrows were furrowed as he saw us starting to move out. I used my eyes to signal him to follow but then the killer was pulling me through the crowd and my focus had to go back to avoiding the mass of people. My eyes tried to scan the crowd for any familiar faces but there were too many people and the killer was purposefully pulling me through the most crowded parts of the club. By the time we reached the street there were no signs of the others coming. He pulled me to the left, continuing down the road until we reached an off road where a car with a small group of burly men waited. One opened the door and the killer moved towards it but stopped short as he addressed me again.

“So Ms. Officer are you disappointed I caught you?”

“Surprisingly not really but how’d you know?”

“Your hands. They’re too rough and most women who work in offices are very careful with their hands.”

“Valid but insulting.”

      He pushed me into one of the burly men who locked his hold on me as the killer got in the car, the whole time the gun still trained on me. The door closed and the window rolled down to show the killer’s face once again. Of course he has to get the last word, typical villain but what did I expect when he hired bodyguards? I rolled my eyes.

“I believe this is a checkmate,” he turned to the guard, “make sure she doesn’t follow.”

      And with that the car drove off leaving me with two of the guards flanking me. I struggled against them as they tried to pull me away from din on the main road. I didn’t have my gun and I wouldn’t be able to take both of them like this so I did the next best thing. I screamed. It was a short lived one, because the man holding me clamped his hand over my mouth, but hopefully it would be enough to draw eyes so they can’t do anything. The next thing I knew I heard the fall of footsteps and one guard was rammed into by Jeongin before I saw his arm wind back. Instinctually I ducked right as his fist connected with the other one’s jaw, loosening his hold enough on me to be ripped free by Jeongin who started running… deeper into the abandoned street?

“What are you doing? You have your gun, why are we running?”

“We’re still too close to the crowded street; we'll corner them further away.”

      I… he was right so I continued to keep pace, cursing the fact of these stupid heels slowing me down. We turned a corner into an alley and I grabbed his comms to let the others know the killer got away in a black sedan and gave them the license plate number. As I finished giving the rest of the orders the two men barreled in and Jeongin pointed his gun at the two. Back up showed up and the two men were sent to the station. There was no pin on the car yet, leaving me and Jeongin to be sent home by the chief while everything else gets handled. As we walked back to the main road I couldn’t help but smile.

“Why are you smiling? If I wasn’t there to get you out of it you would’ve been in trouble with those two guys.”

“Cause I was right. I said I trust you would get me out of it and you did but I didn’t think you would go after us alone.”

“I didn’t. I sent the other officers to the right since it led to the main road and there was more ground to cover but a gut feeling told me to go left. The others are right when they say you’re reckless you know.”

“Smart move to send the bigger group to the more crowded area. Not bad, rookie but I hope you can deal with reckless. I heard the chief is making permanent partners so I guess you're stuck with me now Jeongin.”

      My smile grew bigger as he froze for a moment taking in my response, what can I say? He’s grown on me and if we’re to be stuck together might as well address him properly. I took that time to put distance between us but I could hear his footsteps fall after me as he called after me, the happiness evident in his tone.

“So I’m finally not “kid” anymore?! Y/n wait, say it again!”

[rpd-rookie]

Under Her Extra-Large Umbrella - Chris Redfield x Reader (PART 1)

Summary: Chris Redfield has always been an honourable man but the things he's seen at Spencer Mansion leave him no choice. He must infiltrate Umbrella's French laboratory, whatever it takes, even if it means manipulating you. But how far he is ready to go?

Author’s Note: This fanfic involves a Post RE1 / Pre-Code Veronica version of Chris Redfield since it focuses on his trip to Europe that is mentioned in RE2. You will probably notice that I used the letter Chris wrote to his S.T.A.R.S. friends. It is actually what inspired this fan fiction in the first place. Gotta be honest with you, this fanfic made me shed blood, sweat and tears. I guess I rewrote it twice before coming to a rather satisfying version and I must have tear my hair out quite a few times when I was struggling with grammar. (BTW, tell me if you see some terrible grammatical mistakes so that I can correct them) Anyway, as usual, I hope you will like it. Please don’t forget to like/reblog and tell me what you think of it in the comment section.

Tags: Romance, Fluff, SMUT, Explicit Language, Manipulation and Treachery. Angst is come ;-)  

Also available on AO3

“Better failing with honour than winning by cheating, son”.           Chris could perfectly remember his father telling him those words. It was in 1990. Chris was a seventeen years old teenager finishing his Junior year, and they were driving back home from driving school right after learning he had failed his theory test contrary to that asshole Colin Monroe who had aced it thanks to a crib cheat hidden in his sock.       He could also remember that his father’s wisdom had barely consoled him on that day - despite what he had let him believe - and that it had taken him quite some time to swallow the bitter pill and even more time to admit that his father was indeed right and that he should live by this motto. Months actually. Plus a tombstone with his parents’ names on it.       Chris never regretted listening to his father. He never regretted promising him that he would do his best to become the man he would have wished him to be. That promise had made him the man he was today. A man who would never stray from the right path however tempting treachery could be. Someone loyal, upright and honourable. Someone his parents would be proud of.

And yet here he was, eight years later, a twenty-five years old cop, breaking the promise he had made his father and doing something so deceitful and selfish it would certainly make him roll over in his grave or wish he were still here to give his son a earful.     But today, it was not something as silly as his driving licence that was at stake. It was the justice he owned to his fellow S.T.A.R.S. members, those he had lost at Spencer Mansion and those waiting for him in Raccoon City. It was the security of god knows how many people. This time, Chris had a burden on his shoulders that was way too heavy for him to accept a possible failure. And as terrible as it sounded, he was ready to do something bad for the greater good, whatever the cost, whatever his dead father may think of him from beyond the grave.

                      “To my bestest S.T.A.R.S. buds,

           How are you all doing in that drab, old station? Hanging in there against old Irons? Me? I just got back from a date with a hot chick. Bet you can guess what we got up to under her extra-large umbrella.            Europe is amazing. One month is in no way enough to even scratch the surface. Maybe I’ll extend my vacation for another six months.                Barry, don’t even think of coming join me. Wouldn’t want to make all the cute girls cry, yeah? So you just leave the babes to me.              Jill, if Claire tries to contact you, please let her know I’m OK.”

Chris put down the pen on his nightstand and took a look at his letter one more time with a proud amused smile. He knew that his friends, contrary to Irons, would get the hidden message behind that lame womanizer persona that was so unlike him. And hopefully, maybe the police chief would tell his friends at Umbrella his S.T.A.R.S. poster boy was nothing to worry about and just currently cruising for pussies in Europe.  

“Writing to your friends again?” Chris looked up to see you standing in the doorway to his bedroom. You looked very tired, exhausted even, judging by the dark circles under your beautiful eyes, your loosened bun and the way you were leaning against the framework. “Yeah, to give them a small update on my vacation.” Chris folded the letter and put it in the drawer of his nightstand; not very keen on letting you read it. “Tough day?” “You have no idea.” You dropped your bag at the entrance of Chris’ room and went to fall down on his bed, your head on his crossed legs. “Wanna talk about it?” Chris asked as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You know I can’t say much. Professional confidentiality and all. ”         “I didn’t know working for Umbrella was like working for the CIA.” Chris joked, trying to tone down the disgust he was feeling each time he had to pronounce the word Umbrella. You smiled, too tired to laugh and glanced at Chris who was staring at you.            

God, why did you have to be so beautiful and so sweet and yet so not good for him? Why did you have to work for Umbrella? And how did he allow things to be that way between the two of you?

Chris could remember the day he had first seen you, the day he had chosen not be moral and honourable for once in his life.       It was almost a month ago. He had been in Paris for a couple days, trying to find a way to infiltrate Umbrella’s French laboratory, which was even more impenetrable than Zone 51, the lab being a real fortress (with automatic secured doors, CCTVs, guards and a severe ‘no visitor allowed’ policy) only accessible if you were the lucky owner of a white and red badge. And you had happened to be one.       Leaving the lab for lunch break, happy to finally feel the warm sun on your face, it hadn’t been your beautiful [h/c] hair loosely tied back in a high ponytail or your twinkly [e/c] eyes that had caught Chris’ attention (even though yeah he had noticed). No it had been that badge, that stupid badge carelessly hanging from the front pocket of your lab coat. And it had also been that badge that, unfortunately for you, had made him organise a plan to trick you and get his hands on it, that badge that had made you the victim of his very first treachery.  

Your meeting was – unbeknownst to you – the most unnatural meeting ever. Chris had calculated everything. When? Lunch break. Where? The nearby boulangerie where you used to be eating. What to say? “Désolé. Bonjour. Puis-je m’assoir avec vous?” which meant “Sorry. Hi. May I sit with you?” in French of course, because Chris had figured that playing the part of the poor American tourist with a terrible French accent trying to adapt in the city of love would be much more appropriate for the situation.       And it had worked. He had sit at your table, had exchanged a few words with you and had found you surprisingly friendly and adorable for an Umbrella employee.             But of course, as the majority of Chris’ plans, the meeting hadn’t ended up the way he had imagined (meaning him discreetly stealing your badge) simply because of a tiny detail he hadn’t thought of; you had forgotten your badge at the lab, leaving him no choice but to improvise and organise a second meeting that he had dared called a rendez-vous.

And here he was, weeks later, sharing your apartment and occasionally your bed and definitely bogged in a way bigger deceit that the one he had originally planned, one he knew he would not be able to get out easily.     And to answer the question, did Chris manage to get his hands on your badge? Well, yes and it was now safely hidden in his room to be used at the proper moment. If only he could shut his guilt away as well. Things would be much easier.

“What did you do today? Sebastien told me he barely saw you.” Sebastien was your other roommate. A nice redhead guy as well as a curious unstoppable chatterbox. “Oh, nothing interesting. I woke up early to jog at the Bois de Boulogne then I spent the rest of day wandering in the city.” That was half a lie. Yes, he had gone for a run at the Bois de Boulogne but he hadn’t spent the afternoon visiting Paris. No, he had spent his afternoon trying to reach the FBI from a phone booth in order to know if they had some news concerning Irons or the Mansion Incident. Unsuccessfully.           “If you want, we can spend this Saturday together. I’m sure I can show you few places you haven’t seen yet.”           “Aren’t you working this Saturday?” You were always working on Saturdays. “I need a day off to clear my mind a bit.” That didn’t sound like you. You were too much of a workaholic to prefer spending your Saturday playing guide to your American roommate. “Now, consider me worried. What’s up at work?” Chris asked, concerned not only because he knew something terrible could be happening at Umbrella but also because he couldn’t help but caring about you, Umbrella worker or not.         “Those last days have been a bit tough that’s all.” You wouldn’t tell him more. You couldn’t. For so many reasons.     “Well in that case, what do you think about me running you a nice hot bath?” You glanced up at Chris. He had drawn your attention in a very interesting way. “That depends. Will you be with me in that bath?” You asked cheekily.         “Do you want me too?” He smirked and you put your hand on his neck to pull him closer to your face. You pressed your lips softly against his; sighing in this kiss you had been dreaming about all day, as Chris brought you against his broad chest, his strong arms now holding you tight against him. You felt so safe in his embrace and that’s what you needed right now.        

Chris pecked you a couple times before laying one last kiss on your forehead with a tenderness that made you melt in his arms. “I’m gonna go run you that bath, okay?” You nodded. “Join me in ten minutes.”       Needless to say that those ten minutes were the longest you had ever experienced. Probably because they gave you plenty of time to dwell on the things you had experienced today at the lab, the things you had seen, the things you wanted to forget and yet couldn’t.           You got up and grabbed the bag you had left by the door to search for a small notebook that you opened with a desperate sigh. Then, you took the pen on Chris’ nightstand and started scribbling notes and drawings in it. A habit you had taken a few months ago and that somehow helped you from not cracking up.  

You guessed you took more than ten minutes when you heard Chris clear his throat by the door, only wearing a small towel around his wait. Goodness, what a sight.         You quickly closed the notebook as soon as you spotted him and put it back in your bag while he pretended not to notice. “Haven’t you forgotten something, mademoiselle?” He smirked and you giggled. “Have I?”     “Yes. I think there is a naked man waiting for you in the bathroom.” He joked and you approached him with a amused yet cheeky smile. You put your hands on his chest, feeling his muscles against your palm, as you looked up at his face with a mischievous look. “Is he hot?” “Right now, he is very hot.” He confessed, absolutely in the mood to play with you. “Better not keep him waiting, then.” You purred and you put your hand on one of the straps of your summer dress to gently make it slide along your shoulder.     That small sight of your naked skin made Chris hiss and unable to resist the urge to lay a trail of soft warm kisses from your neck down to your shoulder. You could tell the smoothness and the perfume of your skin were driving him crazy as his mouth soon started devouring you and muffled growls began vibrating in his throat.     His calloused hands roamed down your back, making you instinctively move your hips closer to his crotch, and he unzipped your dress. It dropped at your feet revealing your body that Chris gazed at with his brown eyes darkened by desire. They lingered on your breasts and you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to touch them. He loved them too much for that. And so, his hands cupped them and his thumbs brushed your hard nipples. “Gosh, Y/N.” He breathing in, trying to calm his heart pounding in his chest “I can’t wait any longer.” Chris suddenly grabbed you and hoisted you up with incredible ease, hands under your ass, which made you yelp.     Nevertheless, you instinctively wrapped your legs around him, making his towel fall to the floor. “Oops. That was not voluntary.” You giggled. So did he. “Right.” And he rushed towards the bathroom, with you in his arms, his lips devouring yours in a hasty burning kiss on the way.

He set you up on the double washstand and quickly locked the door behind him, giving you a brief view of his divine firm behind, though you liked the front as much if not more right now. “What are you looking at like that?” He smirked. Well, his chiselled chest, his carved abs and that big hard cock. What a silly question! But you couldn’t say that and so instead you urged Chris to come closer to you, spreading your legs to welcome him between them.   He obeyed but instead of giving you that lustful hug and passionate kiss you were expecting, he crouched in between your legs and remove your panties, kissing your smooth legs, from thighs to feet, as he did. You clearly knew where that would eventually lead but you moaned anyway when you felt Chris put your legs on his shoulders and burry his face in between your thighs. “I told you I’d help you relax.”         “What about the hot bath?” You tilted your head towards the bubble bath he had run for you few minutes ago.     “Oh don’t worry, we’re getting there. But first you know how much I like licking your pussy.” He winked and his tongue lapped your slit up to your clit without waiting another second. A loud moan escaped your mouth as Chris sucked your bud loudly, pulling it between his lips, and he looked up at you with a proud smirk before focusing his attention back on your pussy.     He was good, very good even, way better than any other men you had ever been with. He knew exactly how to please you. He knew where the tip of tongue had to swirl to make you shiver, knew the right spot to suck to make you moan and when to add his fingers to make you cry out his name - which was right now by the way. “Oh my god, Chris!” You mewled loudly as you felt one of his fingers entering you, his mouth still eating your pussy up. Your legs instinctively clenched around your lover’s head while one of your hand found its way in his short hair. Then you heard Chris hum in between your thighs as he kept on licking you and fucking you with his finger, adding one more in the process. You pulled his hair back, forcing him to look at you. “Fuck me, please. Fuck me now.” Chris complied and, after his tongue slid one last time in between your lips, he stood up to catch your lips in a new passionate kiss, making you taste your juices on his expert tongue. You could feel his cock against you, hard and slightly throbbing already, showing how impatient and aroused he was.       “Enter that bath, quick.” He ordered with a deep voice that made you shake against his body.

You obeyed and gladly let your burning body sink in the bubbly water, the lukewarm water cooling you off a bit (which wasn’t a bad thing). You were soon followed by Chris who entered the bath with a brutal eagerness that made the water waved a bit too much around both your bodies. “Don’t flood the apartment.” You giggled as you spread your legs to make him a place in the tub. “I can’t promise you that.” He confessed amused, as he grabbed his length in his hand to jerk it off a bit and guide it towards your begging entrance waiting for him under the water. He tickled your swollen clit with his tip before entire you almost smoothly making you draw a sharp breath.         “Damn, you’re so tight.” Chris growled as he took hold of the edge of the bathtub above your head to push himself deeper inside of you, enjoying your wet walls around his cock. “You’re fucking big, you mean.” You said with a painful hiss that brutally calmed his ardour and made him consider immediately pulling out of you. “Sorry. Am I hurting you?” He worried, aware his girth needed get some getting used to and afraid that he hadn’t given you enough. “No, no. It’s okay. Just give me sec.” You cleared your throat and adjusted yourself underneath Chris, spreading your lips with your fingers to welcome him the way you both desired. Hard, big and rough. “Okay. Good now.”           “You sure?” He asked, definitely not willing to hurt you. You nodded and pressed your lips against him to show him how much you wanted him right now. He got the message and started moving inside of you, slowly yet deeply for now.

You dug your nails in his biceps and started moaning; taking delight in feeling him going in and out of you. It was just the most divine sensation in the world. He filled you so perfectly. “Chris. Please. Faster.” You begged.             He complied and started pounding you more quickly, hands still on the edge of the tub, towering you with his muscular body to assert his dominance over you the way you liked it. But it wasn’t enough for you and so you wrapped your legs around him forcing him to go balls deep inside of you. Chris smirked, loving your initiative. “You like it deep and rough, baby?” You cried out.   “I didn’t hear you”   “Yeeess.” You whimpered with small tears in your eyes. He hammered you harder, spilling water on the bathroom floor, and you clenched your walls around him. “Oh god!” You yelled, out of breath.

He was relentless, so strong, so fast, so deep you could hear his body slam against your skin and echo the splashes of the waves in the tub. “Come here.” He lay on his back and urged you to come and straddle him. And so you climbed on top of him, admiring how handsome he was underneath you. “Guide me into you.” You did as he said and directed his throbbing cock to your wanting pussy, welcoming him again inside your wetness, Hands pressed against his pectorals, you immediately started undulating on top of him, feeling the pleasure coming back in your lower stomach.         “That’s it. Keep going.” He whispered, gazing at you.

Chris’ hands crawled up your body to reach your breasts and play with them a bit, delicately pinching your pointy nipples, as you kept riding him. You knew he loved groping them and you also knew how much he loved them in his mouth as well. Therefore you decided to bent over him a bit, just enough for his face to reach your chest, holding on to the wall in front of you with one hand to keep your balance. Chris smiled, understanding perfectly your little game, and pulled one of your tits to his mouth to catch one nipple between his lips and suck it greedily.       It was apparently very pleasurable for him (even maybe more than it was for you, and it was a lot) since he started humming and growling loudly. You enjoyed hearing and seeing him like this very much, so much you stopped riding him to focus on this spectacle.            

It didn’t last long though as you soon felt you lover’s strong hands gripping your ass to make you bounce on his cock again. “I so want to cum, baby. Please make us both cum.” His words made you shiver of excitement and you locked your lips with his as you started rolling your hips onto him again.       But it was certainly not enough for Chris since after few seconds he suddenly grabbed your hips to slam deep in your pussy and relentlessly pound you from underneath. You screamed his name and hold on tight to him. He was very rough, so rough you could barely breathe, but you didn’t mind at all.     Soon, you felt your face become so red and your bundle of nerves become atrociously sensitive. You knew you were ready to explode. “Chris. I’m gonna cum.” He put his hand on your clit to stimulate it and help you reach your release, his cock hammering you even harder than before.       You clenched your pussy around his throbbing cock, making him groan because of how tighter you suddenly were. “Tell me I can cum in you, baby.” He asked, panting. He was very close too. “Yes, cum in me.” You didn’t need to say it twice as Chris immediately growled in your ear, slowed his pace, and spread his cum in your pussy with a last animalistic grunt as you came undone on top of him, yelling his name, your powerful orgasm almost knocking you out.

You collapsed on him, incapable of remaining straight. “Wow. That was something.” He chuckled, exhausted and out of breath, and so did you.             “You’re okay?” You looked up at him, raising your eyebrows. What a ridiculous question. “No, I’m being serious, Y/N. Wasn’t I a bit too rough?” He asked.       “You were perfect.” You admitted before kissing him tenderly.           “AND SO FUCKING LOUD!!!” You heard shouting from behind the wall. You both looked in the direction of the noise, understanding that your roommate had probably heard everything but despite the embarrassment you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Poor Sebastien.       “Why don’t we get out of that bath and cuddle a bit in bed? The water is getting cold.” Chris offered.   “I’d like that very much.” You smiled and managed to leave the tub, using the little energy you had left in your sore body.            

As you dried yourself, you saw Chris head towards the door with a towel draped around his waist. “Where are you going?” You asked.   “Taking some briefs in my room. See you in your room in a minute?” He smiled and you nodded, impatient to spend the night in his arms. “Can you bring me back my clothes and my bag while you’re at it?”           “Sure.”

Chris closed the door behind him and headed towards his room where he put on some clean underwear and picked up your stuff as you had asked. But the moment he grabbed your bag and caught a glimpse of the black notebook he had previously seen you inside, he knew he would probably not join you as soon as he had told you.         He watched it first, hesitant, knowing perfectly well that what he had in mind right now was very bad. It was one thing to steal a badge, but spying on you, that was going too far. “No, Chris. No.” He whispered to himself. And yet, he grasped the notebook and opened it.   It was a diary of some sort judging by the numerous dates he noticed as he quickly leafed through it. And if it was a diary then it was indeed very private, intimate even, certainly not his to read. He thought about putting it back in your bag for a second, but what if something valuable to his investigation was inside that notebook?         “Argh, fuck.” He cursed as he went to the first page.

“May, 14th 1998

Today made me regret the time I was just the intern bringing Professor Rochois his morning espresso. Umbrella is asking more and more of me, and the pressure they put on us workers is driving me insane. But what’s worse is that I’ve got the impression they are not telling us everything, especially concerning the experience the seasoned scientists are conducting in the north wing. But I guess I’ll soon have answers to my questions since Professor Rochois said that he was genuinely impressed by my devotion and was thinking of promoting me.”

Chris frowned, apprehension knotting his stomach. That didn’t sound good at all. He needed to learn more about that even if the moment was far from convenient. You could show up anytime and catch him red-handed.         He turned a few more pages, rapidly skimming through some notes he would definitely read another day, until he spotted a weird drawing of some octopus-like creature. What the hell was that thing?

“June, 7th 1998

The NE-a parasite. A parasitic species indented to retain intelligence. It has been developed by Umbrella Europe for years. At first I thought it was just a revolutionary way to cure brain damage. After all, that’s how it had been advertised to me. But the more I study it, the more I believe Umbrella may be up to something else other than treating brain injuries or Alzheimer. I don’t know what and I’m not even sure I want to know.”

Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. His body was shaking and he could feel fear eating him up and he started imagining terrible things.   What if you were involved in the Spencer Mansion incident? No, no. You couldn’t be. And yet, Chris decided to have a look had the entries you wrote in July. He needed to reassure himself. One immediately drew his attention.

“July, 28th 1998

My superiors have been quite on edge lately, something to do with an incident that happened with the American branch of Umbrella from what I overheard. I don’t know what it is though, but I’m sure it must be pretty big because they doubled down security in the lab. The team and I have the impression we are living in a 1984 remake. The CCTVs are always recording and I sometimes have the strange sensation I’m being permanently spied on, even in the locker room. Maybe they have doubts about me because of the many questions I often ask about Project Nemesis.”

Project Nemesis? Y/N, what the hell were you working on in that lab?

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG Watchthrough Episodes 17-20.

Home Soil: So from what I’ve read, this would be Gene Roddenberry’s final episode as showrunner before getting replaced by writer Maurice Hurly. I won’t comment on the behind the scenes drama and such that caused it because it was decades ago and not relevant for a First Watchthrough post, but since this is the last I wanted to make note of it. My thoughts? It was okay. This is very much borrowing from the TOS episode Devil in the Dark (the one with the Horta) with the plot being of an alien presence killing humans... but only because the humans were unknowingly causing it harm. It’s done fine enough, not being any better or worst than when TOS did it, but that’s about it. It does executed it a little differently with the events and the alien is FAR less willing to comply than the Horta was at first and ends with the alien backing down, but refusing contact with humans for three centuries, which DOES make it a nice contrast to how Devil in the Dark ended. It’s not great. It’s not horrible. It’s just okay with the biggest criticism being pulling too much from TOS again. Look, I love TOS and so far TNG hasn’t passed it. I outright have a 30 disc Blu-Ray set coming in the next few days of all the TOS material, including TAS and the films. If I want to revisit TOS, I’ll go watch it or read fanfiction or heck, go watch AOS. TNG has remained painfully average or not good at this point because it’s trying to retain what TOS had, despite it being over 20 years later and even the TOS films had changed how it did things compared to the show. Whatever one feels about Roddenberry, his removal I hope helped push TNG away from TOS and let it carve it’s own identity while still honoring what TOS had stood for, and according to history it did. Not sure if we’ll see the quality go up in these final few S1 episodes, but still. Sorry, felt appropriate to finally get this out here. Going back to the episode, it’s perfectly fine and it delivers it’s message well, and hey it’s not always a bad idea to showcase the same themes as the previous incarnation in a spinoff especially fi a relevant one/gets shown to viewers who hadn’t seen that TOS episode. Not the best, not the worst, and that’s not such a bad way to end up. 3/5.

Coming of Age: Alright Wesley, it took a bit but you’re starting to grow on me. So we have Wesley going through a test to get into the Academy while Picard and the crew are dealing with some rough interrogations and Picard being painted as an incompetent captain by the interrogator. They don’t seem that connected, but infact the latter is a test for Picard to determine if e’s ready for a promotion. I like how they bring up Picard’s actions in past continuity that WOULD present him as at least fallible to major error, ignoring certain conditions that caused it to begin with and how he got them out of the situation. Like I said, this was one of Wesley’s better episodes. While doing well with testing, his worry about the psyche test and not knowing his own fear and therefore worried about what the test will unleash upon him is very relatable. Heck his talk with Worf was a really nice scene, especially with Worf outright stating that only fools fear nothing which in turns add more depth and dimensions to the Klingons. The reveal fo his greatest fear, while I wish he had hesitated a little bit more, made perfect sense and he acted as a true Starfleet Officer. Which since this was before Undiscovered Country, is a VERY positive development. Picard guiding a kid who made a stupid decision was also good and shows why he’s a good captain, and his talk to him as well as encouraging a disappointed Wesley at the end was a nice moment to cap the episode off with. As far as Wesley goes, he may still be presented as too competent and intelligent, but he is more likeable and the testing setting allows him to shine like this without, again, affecting the adult characters. Plus text anxiety is super relatable haha. Now of course due to Status Quo is God, Wesley fails, but he takes it well and proved that he will be ready for it in the future. It was a pretty nice episode all in all. Nothing spectacular, but I enjoyed it, neither plot overpowered the other, had a good theme of one’s integrity as a person/doing your best, good use of past continuity, and it really shows the best in characters like Picard, Wesley, and the crew’s loyalty to the former. 4/5.

Heart of Glory: Back in TOS, the Klingons were depicted as war-loving jerks. They weren’t without some depth and episodes like Day of the Dove did attempt to give them a bit more positive limelight, but it wasn’t enough to overpower the one-dimensional characterization. The films were a bit better, Undiscovered Country especialy, but that one hadn’t been made yet and they still stuck with the ruthless characterization, just changed up the makeup to make them look more alien like. It was weird sicne whenever I ddi watch TNG back when that’s all I knew of Star Trek, Worf never came across like a ruthless warmonger but like an honorable warrior which made him stand-out amongst the cast for me (that and because I freakin’ love Michael Dorn due to his animation voice over work, anyone else remember I.M. Weasel? XD). So now we get an episode where Worf gets to interact with other Klingons. I lift a brow at Worf not knowing about most Klingon customs when he seemed perfectly knowledgeable about i in past episodes. Maybe that wad due tot he shift after getting rid of Roddenberry/ IDK, but these kinds of retcons happens sometimes. This was an interesting one for sure. The Klingons are much better presented here than the entirety of TOS, showing more of their culture/customs and compared to Worf, who was raised by humans and therefore not fully in touch with his people and their ways. This is probably one of, if not the first time he’s interacted with his full culture and naturally he’d want to interact with them and learn more now that he has the chance. There’s the themes of one growing in another culture, how they adapt while still trying to be part of that culture, and finding one’s own path. There is the question on why Worf wans’t just returned tot he Klingons as a child and IDK if they address it down the line, but that type of life and struggle with identity/culture clash due to upbringing IS real and VERY relatable. I’m really glad to see the Klingons fleshed out past their TOS depiction and it’s overall respected by the cast, showing how far things have come since Kirk’s time. It fleshes out Worf’s character a great deal and makes him more likable/relatable and giving him a very realistic struggle, and in the end he stands by his beliefs and even gets the respect and offer to serve with Klingons in the future by Klingon Captain K’Nera. Very much glad that I watched this one~ 4/5.

The Arsenal of Freedom: Oh boy, war machines that killed everything! That theme never gets old! I’m not joking, with how modern warfare and technology are growing and being sold for profit, it feels like it just keeps getting more and more relevant. There’s a lot of tension in this one with Yar, Data, and Riker dealing with the arsenal that is intelligent and they’re unable to be beamed up, the ship getting attacked with Geordi in command and the Chief Engineer (they seem to go through a LOT of those this season, guess they couldn’t handle the strain of acting as miracle workers like Scotty) being an asshole to him, and Crusher injured with Picard trying to keep her alive and not get killed. Seriously, I loved Geordi here for being an effective acting commanding officer during a VERY intense situation AND telling off the Chief Engineer without even so much as raising is voice while encouraging the other officers. Badass and admirable. The away team scenes were also good with everyone being plain awesome~ Crusher having to explain to Picard how to treat her injuries while she’s in obvious pain was really good character stuff and Thank God that they avoided indulging in the obvious shipping fodder. I know they’ve hinted a little at Picard/Crusher... but I’m not really interested in it int he romantic sense at least currently. It comes off as a Captain and CMO trusting the other (not quite the same as say... Kirk and McCoy, but the trust is very much strong here plus Picard and Crusher should be allowed to form their own dynamic) and that’s the kind of interaction I live for~! It feels like everyone got a moment to shine, even Troi checking on Geordi’s mental well-being and letting him express some of his nervousness was really nice. And of course the arsenal having destroyed their own creators... like I said, a theme that just seems to grow more and more in relevance. Like I said above, some themes are necessary to repeat, and this one very much qualifies. But yeah this was great for it’s tensions, the characters being all great especially Geordi, and it’s themes (even fi IDK how intentional it was) being a huge reminder of the dangers of modernized warfare/using warfare for profit. It doesn’t go well. 4.5/5.

Okay, it’s late in the season, but we are FINALLY getting somewhere! The characters have truly grown on me and their characterizations are getting better (i.e. Picard is still a serious captain, but is very much warming up and not as cold as he was early on), the stories are steadily improving, and even with what I said about the first one, I really enjoyed this batch of episodes! Only five remain in the season, and the plan is to knock ‘em all out tomorrow. Might take a day or two off before tarting Season 2, but golly I’m finally feeling excited~!

[greyfongschemmenti]

Under Pressure 9|15

FryeArcana

Chapter 9

Trust and Suspicions

Summary:

You have to decide whether to take Mako's word or believe Lin. You start to make your own thoughts and investigation on the culture center explosion. How will you take it and will you be able to figure it out.

The plan is in place while you’re standing beside Mako and Asami, watching her workers place dummy crates onto one of Varrick’s ship. “the ships all loaded. Let’s get this sting operation going.” You’re about to start walking to the ship when Mako stops you “not yet, we need extra manpower.” You turn around and face them “who do you have in mind?” Asami looks at Mako “what about Korra? No better muscle than the Avatar.” You quickly look at Mako and speak up “I don’t think Korra is around” Mako nods “yeah, actually, she’s, um—she’s out of town right now.” He eyes you before looking down. Asami glances at the both of you “everything okay with you and Korra?” Mako brushes her off “yeah, yeah. Forget about Korra. I’ll talk to Bolin.”  You look at Asami and rub the back of your neck you see Mako is far away now before you lean over to Asami “they broke up, but you didn’t hear that from me” “what? Why didn’t he say something?” she looks at you and you shrug “they had a big fight at the station. Maybe he’s not ready to talk about it” you frown before you wave her goodbye “I gotta go handle some stuff at the office. Make sure I stay doing my normal routine and not bring any suspicion to the Chief. If there are any updates let me know.” You wave again as you walk away to the station.

*

           You walk up towards the desks of officers when Lin calls for you “Lieutenant if you can step into my office.” all the officers look at you and start murmuring. You gulp as you look down and make your way to her office, closing the door behind you taking a seat across from her. “Yes, chief?”

“you have any update on this case. Raiko is on my ass on finding the culprits” she groans as he pinches the bridge of her nose. “you’re guess is as good as mind, although…” you trail off and Lin looks up “what?” she snaps. You try to ease into it inhaling deeply “I think Mako might be on to something.” Lin groans out loudly “not this shit again… You’re not seriously believing Mako, right? It’s so far stretched”.

“I get that, but he’s doing more detective work than Lu and Gang.” You grip the arms of the chair sitting up. “that’s not Mako’s job to begin with” she snaps as she starts to glare at you raising her tone. “then who else is going to do the job!” you stand up out of the chair getting heated to Lin’s stubbornness on not wanting to listen to you “Lu and Gang are two lazy fools that don’t want to do anything. I’m grasping at straws here and Mako is the only one who has any sort of idea on what happened that night! He witnessed a man run out the direction from the building and drop that remote control. Which is what set off the explosives. That same sequence happened on Varrick’s ship during the theft--.” Lin jumps out of her chair and slams her palms on the desk “you better watch your tone with me, lieutenant.”

You put your hands on the edge of her desk and lean in to face her “you want progress on this case. I want this case solved just as fast as you do, Chief, but you don’t want to listen to Mako or trust what he has to say.” You glare at her and she snarls not liking, “what does Mako have to do with the case?” she barks out “You assigned me to put Mako down as MY shadow. I have a built a partnership with him. One that has built with trust and believing oneself while out on the field. I’ve kept quiet throughout this whole Mako butting in at the wrong times but I’m going to finally add my input. We’re supposed to trust each other on the force especially by the time we move up and get partners. How are we supposed to do that if we’re just bashing the rookies down, he’s showing interest and dedicating himself to solve this case but what are we really doing if we’re just going to brush him off.” You slam a hand down on the desk then stand up straight and pace the room. “So who does super-cop Mako think is responsible” Lin exasperate amusing you for a second as she drops down at her chair folding her arms. You sigh deeply as you rub your temple before you tell Lin Mako’s theory, “The guy Mako identified is a member of the Agni Kai Triad. He believes the triad was hired to bomb the cultural center during the peace march. We have no clue yet on who hired them, but Mako is adamant that it wasn’t the Northerners.” you put your arms behind your back as you look at Lin and she eyes you “This has Northerners written all over it. No one else would benefit from seeing the center bombed and ambush a ship war provisions. Yet, you believe him?” she says irritated and frustrated at this whole situation. “you took me back on the force because you trust my judgement, perception and intuition. Something is telling me to trust him. Call it a gut feeling. Mako hasn’t failed or disappointed us on the force,” Lin rolls her eyes and rubs her face “I’m not going to have my mind changed because you have a “gut feeling”” she groans out. “we’re not getting any closer just arguing here. I’m going to go find new leads” You sigh “I agree” she snaps as you walk over to the door putting your hand on the knob you stop for a second “All I’m saying since Amon, Mako has earned some trust. You’re usually always right, but this once… you may be wrong, Lin” you look back at her, your eyes softening before you open the door and walk out the office, head out the station. Getting ready for the night, you planned to change and take a taxi to the docks. It’s now or never, you have to prove to Lin and to yourself that Mako might be right after all.

*

“So when you asked for help you really got help from the Triple Threats” you lean on the railing as you look down at the water as you kick a small pebble off and watch it get lost in the clash of waves. “they’re all I could think of, plus they owed me a favor” he said, and you roll your eyes “I just hope this doesn’t blow up in our faces. Sorry I’m not trusting to triad members” you mumble while you eye two-toed ping as you tug on your jacket collar. You should’ve layered more clothes on after you changed from work. The wind is really cold in this area. “I used to work for them” Mako commented and you nod “yeah, I remember, but you did it to survive. You don’t do it anymore. They choose to do it.” You look out into the dark horizon, not a sight of light. You let the silence take over around you as the ship makes it way along the route where Varrick’s ship was on until Mako comments “this is right around the area where the attacks happened. So we should keep our eyes peeled and stay quiet.” Two Toed Ping starts rambling a bunch of nonsense and you lean your head down letting a groan escape your lips. Mako turns to Ping “Two Toed Ping, please” he stops then proceeds to ask Mako “so what’s it like dating the avatar?” both you and Mako sigh as you step away and go sit on a nearby bench. Imma let him handle that. You try to block out of the conversation and keep your eyes peel, your mind races back to that conversation you had with Lin. In the background you hear Ping calling out to Viper and Shady Shin about how disbelief he is that Mako was the one who broke up with Korra. You smirk and silently laugh hearing them tease Mako then look away crossing your arms, it’s been a while and so far and nothing. Maybe this whole thing is a bust.

Another 30 minutes of no action happening out here in the middle of the water you turn to Mako “you ever thought about cutting them off” you ask Ping as he shows you and Mako his toes and how he got his nickname “they’re my lucky toes”. Mako groans as he paces around and stops “wait, guys. do you hear that?” you look around then back at him “I mean besides the chatter and the waves clashing against the ship. Nope. Nothing. Just like the last past hour.” You huff as you slouch against the wall of the ship. Mako groans “Ah! What’s taking so long?” Ping chills back and puts his arms behind his head like he has no care “you just gotta relax, like me. sit back, knock your boots off enjoy the sound of the waves”. Mako growls “I’m gonna check out around the ship” Mako walks away leaving you with Ping “did Mako really break up with Korra or is that a bunch of phooey?” he leans over to you and you scoot over before getting up “that’s what he said, didn’t he” you walk over to the railings and look down at the waves. “I’m gonna go for a walk I’ll be back” you notify Pin as you walk down along the railings as Ping waves you off dozing into a nap. You keep walking as a hand comes out from a corner and pulls you towards them you’re about to fight them when Mako puts a finger on his mouth signaling to stay quiet. You gain your footing and stand “what’s wrong?” you whisper “I just overheard Shady Shin and Viper. We’ve been double-crossed. We have to get off this ship” Your eyes widen at the realization “who the hell would do that?” you whisper as you both start to run in the direction of the speed boats. You get stopped by the triad “where do you two think you’re going?” Viper smirks Mako grunts as he throws a fire punch at the men and you jump over the railing into the speed boat starting it up while Mako cuts the ropes. You slam on the accelerator and gun it back to the city while Mako fire bends at the two speed boats. You try to keep the boat steady to help Mako until Viper starts to waterbend large shards of ice out of the water and you start dodging “hang on!” you yell out as you start to maneuver around them. You think you’ve gained enough space between them when you’re suddenly sent up into the air by a large waterspout of water. “Holy shh….” You scream out you metal bend the seatbelts around you and Mako to prevent the both of you to fly off from the boat. You grab on tightly on the steering wheel feeling your stomach turn as you come crashing down. Making sure to keep control you land back on the water and continue on nearing closer to the City. You can see the city skyline coming nearer, “Almost there!” you see several other ships in the horizon and maneuver around them, Mako turns around “They’re getting closer!”. “not for long, grab on to something” you grip on steering wheel as you see two ships crossing each other and you narrow your eyes calculating the right time to turn and get in between the two ships. “watch out!” Mako scream you yell back “I got this! You worry about Viper and his men!” switch gears and speed off. Mako looks back “Nice job! One down, one to go.”  “yeah but where’s--“You swerve avoiding colliding into Viper who came from a different direction you try to gain control of the boat trying to prevent it from tipping over. The boat stalls out and you try to get it started back up “Mako, the boat, we’re stalled!” Viper collides into your boat head on and Mako fights off with Viper while you run and jump over to the other boat tearing off a piece of metal from their boat and wrapping it around the driver trapping him on the steering wheel. You look back at Mako who got knocked back into the seats of the boat and you snarl running over to Viper and jump over kicking him down on his back before throwing him back in his boat. You jump over the windshield and try starting up the boat as it sputters out until it finally roars to life, you switch gears and time it right to send the boat to dive into the building coming up fast. You swerve to your right avoiding collision and drive off along the harbor. As you and Mako watch the boat crash into a warehouse “so any ideas?” you yell out “someone paid the triple threats to keep us distracted.” You grimace “distracted from what? Did you offer them anything?” you look over at Mako before turning back to the water ahead. “Asami offered some vehicles and stuff….Asami…we gotta check out the Future Industries warehouse!” Mako yells as he holds onto the edge of the boat. You nod and make your way.

*

You call Asami using a nearby phone and tell her to hurry to the warehouse. You walk over to the light switch and turn it on, it finally illuminates the now empty warehouse. Your jaw drops as you ball your fists “whoever paid the triple threats stole everything.” Mako comments “I can’t believe we fell for this” you look down your eyes tearing up. Mako puts his hand on your shoulder “I’m sorry, y/n. This is my fault; it was my idea.” Asami runs over to the both of you and stops abruptly as she sees the scene behind the two of you and her eyes widen. You look at her and your eyes water “Asami…I’m sorry” Mako explains everything that happened and Asami looks in horror “I’m ruined…my company…it’s over…” she looks down in defeat. “we should check your other warehouses. Maybe they didn’t have time to hit them all.” He tries to give Asami some hope. Asami’s shoulders lower as some tears start to form at the corner of her eyes “you don’t understand. Everything I had was in here.” “we have to search the place for evidence. If I can find a lead…” he goes off trying to think of a plan “Just stop. We’ve failed, Mako” you beg him as you turn around your back away from the warehouse heading towards the dock in front of the building leaving Mako and Asami alone together. “it doesn’t matter anymore” Asami says quietly. “we can figure this out.” He quickly interjects “it’s over. I give up” she looks down admitting defeat. Mako turns to Asami and looks into her eyes “well, I’m not giving up on you.” Asami looks up with tears in her eyes, looking into Mako’s eyes and leans in giving him a kiss. You turn around and watch the kiss unfold gasping Asami steps back “sorry, I—” Mako looks around awkwardly “uh…it’s—it’s okay.um…anyways…I gotta run. I’m gonna find out who did this, with y/n’s help, and I know just who to ask.”  

*

Asami offers to give you a ride home you offer to drive and stay the night at her estate. She refused, wanting to be left alone. You sighed and nodded understanding and bid farewell as you step out of her car waving her goodbye as you head up to your place. You shower getting rid of the harbor smell off of you and change into some fresh clothes. You remember Lin and look at the clock it’s 1 in the morning you grab your uniform jacket. You walk over to bowl and grab your keys and get on your bike, speeding over to Lin’s place. You look over and knock on the door not getting an answer. She’s probably still back at the station. You get back on your bike and head over to the station.

           You walk up inside the station almost bared besides the two officers at the entrance and a couple of officers at their desk sleeping. You quietly walk past them and knock on Lin’s door “yes, who is it” you open the door and call out to her “Chief” she looks up quickly putting her glasses down motioning you to step inside. You walk in and close the door behind you. “where have you been?” she asks eyeing you suspiciously “I was investigating on the case.” you’re just now coming back? You should’ve just gone home.” she looks down at the paperwork “no, after I was done I went over to Future Industries trying to help Asami with her company troubles.” You explain then stop “I checked to see if you were home, but I forgot I was looking for Lin Beifong, so I came to her real home” you teased. “after our discussion in the office you just left without another word. Wondered if it would be a repeat of last time” she muttered you shake your head “whatever happens at work stays at work.” You approached her as you pulled a seat to sit at the side of her desk. “Plus, if I know anything about you… I figured you wouldn’t sleep or try to rest until you’re closer to solving this case. So maybe… you wouldn’t mind my help.” you lean over at her as you look into her eyes putting your hand on top of hers. Lin gives you a soft smile “that’s your job, lieutenant”. You smirk and rolls your eyes “yes, chief” you playfully salute then grab a file and start rereading the reports.

           After half an hour you set down a cup of coffee in front of Lin while you take a sip out of yours and get back to reading your notes before looking up

“there is something that keeps gnawing my mind.” You speak as you close your file looking out at nothing

“what is it?” Lin looks over at you

“Varrick” you mutter

“Varrick?, What about him?” she says coolly as she flips a page

“His indifference about losing a ship was just weird, don’t you think?” you arch your eyebrows as you think back to that scene in the interrogation room.

“Varrick has plenty of shipping boats, he owns a global shipping enterprise” Lin mutters back.

“Well yeah, exactly. He was transporting materials that he could profit and lost it. Yet he showed no anger or frustration after three attacks occurred in the same week. Most businesses would be furious if they lost potential profit. Isn’t that a bit peculiar?…unless” you stand and slowly walk to the window looking out at the empty low lit square.

“unless?” Lin perked up looking over to where you walked off to.

“unless Varrick purposely blew up his own ships…” you turn around to face her

“you’re seriously not proposing that Varrick destroyed his own ships for what?” she takes her glasses off and sets it down on the desk as she turns her chair to face you.

“I know that sounds preposterous but is it really that crazy?” you step towards her

“why would Varrick blow up his own ships. Like you mentioned he wouldn’t want to lose a potential profit if he’s getting money from his deal with Future Industries”

“yeah you’re right…” you trail off as you look back over out the window and let Lin go back to her paperwork.

“you’re sound like a conspiracy theorist like Mako” she jokes

You smile at her but slowly frown at your thoughts

*

You’re lying back in Lin’s bed with her sleeping beside you. You’re both exhausted with staying in the office so late but even though your eyes feel heavy you’re unable to sleep. Your mind won’t stop thinking back on your suspicions about Varrick. Lin stirs and turns over on her other side shifting her body as she scoots over so she can rest her head on your chest putting her hand on your chest. You put your hand over hers and curl your thumb around her finger as you kiss her forehead watching her sink down comfortably and go back into a peaceful sleep. You smile enjoying watching Lin sleep then look up at the ceiling going back to your thoughts. The only people that knew about that sting operation was you, Asami, Mako and Varrick. You’re obviously not it, Asami would never do that to her own company. Mako…you don’t trust he would betray Asami like that or that he would drag you down like that, so that just leaves…Varrick. But why… ‘he wouldn’t want to lose a potential profit if he’s getting money from his deal with Future Industries’ Lin’s voice replays in your mind. You analyze that for a moment, Varrick wouldn’t be trying to overtake and gain control of Future Industries, would he? He wouldn’t play that dirty, right?

[vettingsanders]

He Did Nothing For Years

The Bernie Sanders Story

I was going to title this post something that more adequately expresses my rage, like “Bernie Sanders is a Grifting Fuck and a Garbage Human,” but then I decided to be classy and paraphrase a quote from Evita instead.  But I’m also petty so consider the subtitle of this rant to be “A Grifting Fuck and a Garbage Human.”

I was going to wait to post this until the primaries are over because if by some unholy hell miracle Sanders wins the nomination, obviously we all have to unite behind even the shittiest, most doomed to fail candidate, but fuck it.  Vote blue no matter who, that goes without being said, but Sanders is the worst possible choice and was even when there were a dozen plus horses in this race, and now y’all are going to hear all the reasons why.

The Early Years: Sanders the Deadbeat

Sanders graduated from the university of Chicago in 1964 with a BA in Political Science and chose not to work until he was elected mayor of Burlington in 1981

I say “chose not to work” because he was fully capable but preferred being a bum.  He had no student debt, he had no health conditions that prevented him from working, and the 1960s were characterized by rapid growth of the workforce, with three out of four college graduates holding high level positions by 1970

Sanders occasionally did some freelance writing and carpentry during these years, according to his resume, probably so he could claim he was trying to work in order to collect unemployment.  Let’s take a look at some of his writings:

At age 28, he wrote an article for alternative newspaper The Vermont Freeman entitled “Cancer, Disease, and Society.”  In the article, he argues that sexual repression can cause cancer, and women who are virgins, have fewer orgasms than their peers, or simply don’t enjoy sex are more likely to develop cancer.  The article includes statements such as “the manner in which you bring up your daughter with regard to sexual attitudes may very well determine whether or not she will develop breast cancer, among other things” and “How much guilt, nervousness have you imbued in your daughter with regard to sex?  If she is 16, 3 years beyond puberty and the time which nature set forth for child-bearing, and spent a night out with her boyfriend, what is your reaction? Do you take her to a psychiatrist because she is “maladjusted” or a “prostitute,” or are you happy that she has found someone with whom she can share love?”  He also argues that the education system contributes to cancer, as does having “an old bitch of a teacher (and there are many of them).”  https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2157403-sanders-cancer.html

In 1969, in another article for The Vermont Freeman, he wrote, “In Vermont, at a state beach, a mother is reprimanded by Authority for allowing her 6 month old daughter to go about without her diapers on. Now, if children go around naked, they are liable to see each others sexual organs, and maybe even touch them. Terrible thing! If we [raise] children up like this it will probably ruin the whole pornography business, not to mention the large segment of the general economy which makes its money by playing on peoples sexual frustrations.”  https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/07/bernie-sanders-vermont-freeman-sexual-freedom-fluoride/

His resume, incidentally, also lists him as a freelance youth counselor during his period of unemployment, which is just great.  The man who thinks thirteen year olds should be getting pregnant and children should touch each other’s genitals, counseling your kids.  Fantastic.

In the 1970s, Sanders stole electricity from his neighbors rather than paying his own bill.  https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/07/bernie-sanders-vermont-119927

He stole food from the refrigerator of The Vermont Freeman’s publishers https://newrepublic.com/article/122005/he-was-presidential-candidate-bernie-sanders-was-radical

 He was asked to leave a hippie commune in 1971 due to sitting around engaging in “endless political discussion” rather than working.  Let me repeat, he was too lazy for a hippie commune. https://freebeacon.com/politics/bernie-sanders-asked-leave-hippie-commune/

Now, all of this apart from the theft is arguably okay.  It’s his own life, and if he wants to squander it publishing poorly written essays and doing jack shit, whatever.  Except it wasn’t just his life, because he had a son, Levi.  And he was a deadbeat, paying no child support and causing Levi’s mother, Susan Mott, to rely on welfare, which made her face discrimination when trying to find housing.  https://twitter.com/m_mendozaferrer/status/1093295853907922946

Bernie Sanders is a deadbeat dad.  No respect.

Failing Upwards: Sanders the Politician

In 1971, Sanders joined the Vermont Liberty Union Party, a socialist political group.  From 1971 to 1977, Sanders was the party chief and habitually ran for office, failing every time.  He left the group in 1977, stating that they did not do enough to fight banks and corporations during non-election years.  This is just one example of Sanders decrying everyone else as too impure for him.

In 2016, the Vermont Liberty Union Party voted to brand Sanders as a war criminal.  Their general secretary, Peter Diamondstone, said of Sanders, “ He never was a socialist!"  https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bnjby3/the-vermont-political-party-bernie-sanders-founded-isnt-into-him-anymore  This is just one example in the long list of Sanders alienating his allies.

He finally won the mayoral election for Burlington in 1981, by only ten votes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1981_Burlington_mayoral_election

Sanders was only elected to the US House of Representatives in 1990 because he had the support of the National Rifle Association.  The incumbent Congressman, Republican Peter Smith, advocated for an assault weapons ban, so the NRA flooded Sanders with money.  https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/stickin-to-his-guns-the-nra-helped-elect-bernie-sanders-to-congress-now-hes-telling-a-different-story/Content?oid=27816693

In 2006, 2012, and 2018, when running for the Senate, Sanders ran as a Democrat in the state primaries, then declined the Democratic nomination, and ran as an independent in the general.  This made it basically impossible for any Democrat to run against him.  https://www.politico.com/story/2018/05/21/bernie-sanders-democrat-independent-vermont-601844

After a landslide loss to Secretary Clinton in the 2016 Democratic primary, Sanders demanded changes to the DNC primary structure that would make the process easier for him to win with just a plurality of delegates instead of a majority.  These rule changes were the reason the 2020 Iowa caucus was such a clusterfuck. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/bernie-sanders-iowa-caucus-winner-trump-democrats-a9317761.html

Despite all his talk of getting out the youth vote and inspiring disenfranchised voters, Sanders planned all along to squeak by with only thirty percent of the delegates in the 2020 primary by provoking infighting among other candidates to split the moderate vote.  The supposed movement he claimed to lead is a sham. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/04/bernie-sanders-thinking-he-will-win-it-all-2020/587326/

“I Never Saw Him”: Sanders and Civil Rights

Sanders touts his participation in the March on Washington in 1963 as proof of his devotion to civil rights activism.  He loves to remind people that he marched with MLK, as seen during the She the People 2019 forum where he repeated that old chestnut for the millionth time and was booed by the attendees. https://www.thedailybeast.com/bernie-sanders-met-with-boos-after-name-dropping-martin-luther-king-at-she-the-people-summit

In actuality, Sanders was one of 250,000 people at the march, along with Mitch McConnell, who is clearly no champion for civil rights. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/7-things-know-about-sen-mitch-mcconnell-r-ky-part-flna6C10621413

Representative John Lewis, an actual civil rights hero who worked with Dr. King and whose skull was fractured by police on Bloody Sunday, said that he “never saw [Bernie Sanders].  I never met him,” during the movement. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/local/2016/02/11/john-lewis-never-saw-bernie-sanders-during-civil-rights-era/80263450/

Sanders was charged with resisting arrest during a segregation protest in Chicago in 1963, and was charged $25.  He later white flighted to Vermont, one of the whitest states in the country. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/02/bernie-sanders-core-university-chicago/

Sanders never bothered to vote during the Civil Rights movement, only putting forth the effort when he himself was running. https://imgur.com/gallery/mmS40Gq#460q6bS

During his speech in Jacksonville on the 50th anniversary of MLK’s death, Sanders rewrote history and tried to claim that King’s real focus was economic justice and not civil rights.  "All of us know where he was when he was assassinated 50 years ago today.  He was in Memphis to stand with low-income sanitation workers who were being exploited ruthlessly, whose wages were abysmally low, and who were trying to create a union. That’s where he was. Because as the mayor just indicated, what he believed — and where he was a real threat to the establishment — is that of course we need civil rights in this country, but we also need economic justice.” https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/rubycramer/bernie-sanders-revolution-needs-black-voters-to-win-but-can

In thirty years in Congress, Sanders has not sponsored any bills pertaining to civil rights: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/browse?sponsor=400357#current_status[]=28&enacted_ex=on

Sanders voted for the 1994 crime bill https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-election/bernie-sanders-has-dodged-criticism-crime-bill-vote-while-others-n1020726

In 1994, he praised the bill and stated that the US needed more jails.  https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/1221468426855755776

He touted his vote for the crime bill on his website at least until 2006, as proof he was “tough on crime” and “strong on the cops” https://web.archive.org/web/20061018180921/http:/www.bernie.org/truth/crime.html

In 2015, during a meeting with police reform activist group Campaign Zero, Sanders responded to being asked why he thought a disproportionate amount of people of color were incarcerated for nonviolent drug offenses with “Aren’t most of the people who sell the drugs African-American?”  Those present at the meeting stated, “Even confronted with figures and data to the contrary, Sanders appeared to have still struggled to grasp that he had made an error.” https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/rubycramer/bernie-sanders-revolution-needs-black-voters-to-win-but-can 

In 2018, fifteen racial and social justice leaders in Vermont, including multiple NAACP branch presidents, ACLU organizers, and BLM activists, sent an open letter to Sanders and the Sanders Institute to complain that they were “excluded” from the “national progressive movement that Senator Bernie Sanders is trying to foster.”  The letter asks “how could Senator Sanders host what is supposed to be an intersectional, progressive event without inviting the very people whom he serves?”  http://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/vpr/files/201812/sanders-letter-2018.pdf

Curtiss Reed, Executive Director of the Vermont Partnership for Fairness and Diversity, stated that the exclusion of Vermont POC from the Sanders Institute’s event was “a catastrophic failure of his sort of tone deafness to marginalized communities in the state of Vermont” and added “I’m tempted to say this is no longer a question of benign neglect on the part of the senator, but willful ignorance on his part not to include marginalized voices in this national conversation on the progressive movement.”   https://www.vpr.org/post/we-find-ourselves-excluded-racial-justice-leaders-ask-bernie-sanders-get-program#stream/0 

Vermont Black leaders stated they were “invisible” to Sanders, and that the senator “was just really dismissive of anything that had to do with race and racism, saying that they didn’t have anything to do with the issues of income inequality.  He just always kept coming back to income inequality as a response, as if talking about income inequality would somehow make issues of racism go away.” https://www.thedailybeast.com/vermonts-black-leaders-we-were-invisible-to-bernie-sanders

In his 1998 autobiography, Sanders repeatedly and needlessly used the n-word. He chose to keep the word in the text when republishing the book in 2015.  https://www.inquisitr.com/5620596/bernie-sanders-under-fire-for-use-of-n-word-in-2015-book-clip-from-audiobook-version-goes-viral-friday/ 

“I Will Not Make It a Major Priority”: Sanders the Ally

During an interview as mayor of Burlington, Sanders said LGBTQ rights were not a “major priority” for him and he would “probably not” support a bill to protect gays from job discrimination.  https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/10/bernie-sanders-on-marriage-equality-hes-no-longtime-champion.html

Also during his time as mayor, Sanders signed a resolution affirming that marriage is between “husband and wife.” https://www.washingtonblade.com/2016/02/06/clinton-surrogates-pounce-on-sanders-over-82-marriage-resolution/

Sanders and his wife stated in 1996 that they opposed the Defense of Marriage Act simply because it would weaken states’ rights.  Only later did he claim his opposition was due to support for same-sex marriage. https://time.com/4089946/bernie-sanders-gay-marriage/

Sanders argued same-sex marriage was a states’ rights issue in 2006. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=57&v=kej9QAsS3uI&feature=emb_logo

In that same year, after same-sex civil unions had been legal in Vermont since 2000, he responded to a reporter asking if same-sex marriage should be legalized in Vermont with “Not right now,” after the “very divisive debate” preceding the civil union legislation. https://web.archive.org/web/20160407064606/http://www.timesargus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060607/NEWS/606070302/1003/NEWS02

In thirty years in Congress, Sanders has not sponsored any bills pertaining to LGBTQ rights: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/browse?sponsor=400357#current_status[]=28&enacted_ex=on  

Sanders the Warmonger

Sanders loves to tout his opposition to the Iraq War as proof of his moral superiority.  But in 1998, he voted for the Iraq Liberation Act, which states that “it should be the policy of the United States to support efforts to remove the regime headed by Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq.”  He also supported Clinton’s airstrike on Iraq.  https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/105-1998/h482

In 1999, Sanders had anti-war protesters at his office arrested. https://www.counterpunch.org/2015/07/27/bernie-sanders-savior-or-seducer-of-the-anti-war-left/

The Iraq War Bill that Sanders voted against required Bush to first try diplomatic efforts and abide by UN rules of military conduct.  It also required transparency and progress reports.  https://www.congress.gov/bill/107th-congress/house-joint-resolution/114/text

The Authorization for Use of Military Force Act (AUMF), which Sanders did vote for, required none of that and is the reason the Afghanistan War was so much of a clusterfuck.  Bush would have used the AUMF to invade Iraq even if Congress had voted down the Iraq Liberation Act.  The only person to vote against the AUMF was Representative Barbara Lee.  Sanders voted in favor of it.  https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/107/sjres23/text

Sanders claims to oppose the defense industry.  But he brought Lockheed Martin and their 1.2 trillion dollar, over budget, outdated stealth fighters to Vermont. https://www.thedailybeast.com/bernie-sanders-loves-this-dollar1-trillion-war-machine

During his tenure as mayor of Burlington, he fired the assistant city treasurer when she was jailed for an anti-war protest. https://academic.oup.com/publius/article-abstract/21/2/131/1917641?redirectedFrom=PDF 

Sanders the Healthcare Crusader

Sanders was chairman of the Senate Veteran Affairs Committee during a 2014 scandal when dozens of veterans died while waiting for medical care.  During his tenure, Sanders only held seven hearings on VA Oversight, as opposed to the House committee’s forty-two hearings.  Veterans argue that Sanders was too invested in the idea of the VA as a shining example of government healthcare to address its failings.  Despite the scandal and tragedy, Sanders as recently as 2017 bragged that  he was involved with “the most comprehensive VA health care bill in this country.” https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-veterans-scandal-on-bernie-sanderss-watch

He voted against the Clinton plan for universal healthcare in 1993.  https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/3/14/1501210/-Where-Was-Sanders-on-Health-Care-in-93-and-94-Against-the-Clintons

Sanders also voted against CHIP, the children’s health insurance program that AOC relied on to see a doctor in her youth: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/105-1997/h345

Despite campaigning on Medicare for All since 2015, Sanders was unable to explain how much the program would cost during a 2020 60 Minutes interview.  https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/24/politics/bernie-sanders-donald-trump-2020/index.html

When Senator Warren did the math for him and released her detailed M4A plan, Sanders attacked her, calling his plan “more progressive” and saying hers would “have a very negative impact on creating jobs.” https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/03/politics/bernie-sanders-elizabeth-warren-health-care-plan/index.html

Sanders claims that his healthcare plan is standard in other countries.  But his M4A plan would ban private insurance, which is not done in any country but Canada.  In the Scandinavian countries Sanders loves to hold up as an example of government healthcare, the market for private insurance is growing.  https://aapsonline.org/no-bernie-other-countries-do-not-ban-private-care/

“Too Brassy, Too Bitchy”: Sanders the Feminist

In his autobiography, Sanders quoted an article calling his 1996 primary opponent Susan Sweetser “too brassy, too bitchy.” https://books.google.com/books?id=_2YjBm2_JGUC&pg=PA173&lpg=PA173&dq=sanders+too+brassy+too+bitchy&source=bl&ots=SWrIR5Xa8m&sig=ACfU3U2-Hj1-UXIOM0Zz274h6_Nu8juoBg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjHhtObq6LmAhWvUt8KHc8mDVUQ6AEwA3oECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=sanders%20too%20brassy%20too%20bitchy&f=false

 In his Vermont Freeman article “Cancer, Disease, and Society,” Sanders called teachers “old bitch[es]” and blamed them for men developing cancer.  He also said women developed cancer due to sexual repression.  https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/2157403-sanders-cancer.html

Referring to their 1986 governor race, his opponent Madeleine Kuhn stated, “When Sanders was my opponent he focused like a laser beam on “class analysis,” in which “women’s issues” were essentially a distraction from more important issues. He urged voters not to vote for me just because I was a woman. That would be a “sexist position,” he declared.”  https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2016/02/04/when-bernie-sanders-ran-against-vermont/kNP6xUupbQ3Qbg9UUelvVM/story.html

Sanders called Planned Parenthood “a part of the establishment” because they endorsed Secretary Clinton for president.  https://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/planned-parenthood-bernie-sanders-218026

Sanders called Hillary Rodham Clinton, former law firm partner, former First Lady, former Senator, and former Secretary of State, unqualified to be president. https://www.cnn.com/2016/04/06/politics/bernie-sanders-hillary-clinton-qualified/index.html

In January 2020, leaked phone banking scripts from the Sanders campaign called Warren a candidate of the affluent who wouldn’t bring any new voters to the Democratic base.  https://www.politico.com/news/2020/01/11/bernie-quietly-goes-negative-on-warren-097594

In response, members of Warren’s campaign leaked information that, at a dinner in 2018, Sanders had told Warren he did not think a woman could win the presidency.  Sanders and his supporters decried this as a lie, even though reporters knew of the dinner and had been asking Warren if Sanders had discussed women’s electability there for over a year.  https://twitter.com/mlcalderone/status/1104477933886935040?s=19

Sanders supporters then flooded Elizabeth Warren and her supporters’ Twitter mentions with snake emojis.

Sanders said of Secretary Clinton, “It is not good enough for someone to say, ‘I’m a woman! Vote for me!” https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/11/21/13699956/sanders-clinton-democratic-party

Bending the Knee: Sanders the Dictatorship Fanboy

During a 2020 60 Minutes interview, Sanders inexplicably decided it would be a good idea to start praising Fidel Castro’s genocidal regime, stating, “We’re very opposed to the authoritarian nature of Cuba, but, you know, it’s unfair to simply say everything is bad. When Castro came into office, you know what he did? He had a massive literacy program.  Is that a bad thing, even though Fidel Castro did it?” https://www.vox.com/2020/2/24/21147388/bernie-sanders-cuba-60-minutes-nicaragua

He doubled down on this praise at the next debate, whining, “Really?  Really?” when the crowd booed him.  https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article240627047.html

In 2014, Sanders visited Cuban prisoner Alan Gross, who lost over 100 pounds and five teeth during his captivity.  During the meeting, Gross recalls Sanders telling him, “I don't know what's so wrong with this country.”  https://www.npr.org/2020/03/04/811729200/former-prisoner-recalls-sanders-saying-i-don-t-know-what-s-so-wrong-with-cuba

In 1985, Sanders praised bread lines and food rationing.  “American journalists talk about how bad a country is because people are lining up for food.  That's a good thing. In other countries people don't line up for food. The rich get the food, and the poor starve to death." https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/2/21/1920767/-Time-to-switch-out-from-Bernie-he-praised-nations-with-bread-lines-that-s-a-good-thing-Danger

Sanders hung a USSR flag in his office as mayor of Burlington.  https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/feb/24/bernie-sanders-reveals-his-radical-inclinations-ov/

He honeymooned in the USSR, and praised the state of the Soviet Union. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/inside-bernie-sanderss-1988-10-day-honeymoon-in-the-soviet-union/2019/05/02/db543e18-6a9c-11e9-a66d-a82d3f3d96d5_story.html

In the 1980s, Sanders attended a Sandinista rally in Nicaragua where the attendees chanted, “Here, there, everywhere, the Yankee will die.” https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/05/bernie-sanders-pro-sandinista-past-problem.html

Sanders recently praised China, saying that it has made "more progress in addressing extreme poverty than any country in the history of civilization." https://thehill.com/hilltv/rising/458976-sanders-china-had-done-more-to-address-extreme-poverty-than-any-country-in-the

“They Can’t Stop Us”: Sanders the Conspiracy Theorist

Despite conceding the 2016 primary and stating that “Secretary Clinton has won the Democratic nomination and I congratulate her for that” (https://www.cnn.com/2016/07/11/politics/hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders/index.html), he later made the Trump-esque statement “Some people say that if maybe that system was not rigged against me, I would have won the nomination and defeated Donald Trump.” https://www.newsweek.com/bernie-sanders-defeat-donald-trump-2016-rigged-primary-dnc-nbc-kasie-hunt-1446116

 On February 21, Sanders tweeted, “I've got news for the Republican establishment. I've got news for the Democratic establishment. They can't stop us.” https://twitter.com/BernieSanders/status/1231021453270769664

After Super Tuesday, Sanders stated that Buttigieg and Klobuchar were pressed to drop out as part of an establishment plot to defeat him. https://thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/486503-sanders-klobuchar-and-buttigieg-ended-campaigns-under-great-deal

Sanders has repeatedly attacked the press as “paid by the corporations and billionaires who own the media.”  He’s promoted the conspiracy theory that Jeff Bezos makes The Washington Post write negative articles about him. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/27/bernie-sanders-attacks-media-press-fair-or-trump-2020-democrats

During the Nicaraguan conflict, Sanders accused American reporters of ignoring the truth and told a CBS reporter, “you are worms.” https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/05/bernie-sanders-pro-sandinista-past-problem.html

Sanders accused The Washington Post of trying to harm him in the Nevada caucus by reporting on Russia’s attempts to boost his campaign. https://www.mediaite.com/tv/bernie-sanders-takes-a-shot-at-washington-post-good-friends-when-asked-about-timing-of-russia-report/

“We Support Them”: Sanders the Spoiler

Robert Mueller’s investigation found that Russian interference sought to boost both Sanders and Trump’s 2016 campaigns, stating “we support them.” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/02/17/indictment-russians-also-tried-help-bernie-sanders-jill-stein-presidential-campaigns/348051002/

Sanders was well aware of the Russian efforts, stating “What we knew is–well, of course we knew that.  And of course we knew that they were trying to cause divisiveness within the Democratic party.  Uh, that’s no great secret.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDYbHult0Do

When The Washington Post reported on Russia’s efforts to boost Sanders in 2020, Sanders had already known for weeks and said nothing.  After the report came out, he attacked the Post and accused them of trying to tank his performance in the Nevada caucus, stating “I’ll let you guess, about one day before the Nevada caucus. Why do you think it came out?  It was The Washington Post?  Good friends.” https://www.mediaite.com/tv/bernie-sanders-takes-a-shot-at-washington-post-good-friends-when-asked-about-timing-of-russia-report/

The Fish Rots from the Head: The Sanders Campaign

The 2016 campaign breached the Clinton campaign’s voter data and harvested and stored voter information https://time.com/4155185/bernie-sanders-hillary-clinton-data/

The 2016 campaign received a 645 page letter from the FEC detailing the campaign’s finance violations (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/05/the-bernie-sanders-donors-who-are-giving-too-much/482418/) and had to pay a $14.5 K fine to the FEC after receiving donations from non-citizens. https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/376373-sanders-campaign-pays-145k-fine-to-settle-fec-complaint

The 2016 Nevada campaign director sought to rig the state’s caucus by urging staffers to buy double-sided coins for tie-breaking coin tosses http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/sanderss-nevada-director-floated-two-sided-coins-for-tiebreaks-report/ar-AAhHiAI?getstaticpage=true&automatedTracking=staticview

The 2016 campaign initially decried superdelegates as “undemocratic” (https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/23/opinions/superdelegates-democratic-party-kohn/) before attempting to persuade them to go against the primary’s outcome and back Sanders instead of Clinton https://www.npr.org/2016/05/19/478705022/sanders-campaign-now-says-superdelegates-are-key-to-winning-nomination

The 2016 campaign was accused by staffers of sexual harassment, demeaning treatment toward women, and pay disparity by gender https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/02/us/politics/bernie-sanders-campaign-sexism.html

Weeks before the 2016 general election, Jane Sanders retweeted a video from an April town hall of her husband telling an attendee to “make these decisions yourself” regarding whether or not to vote third party if Secretary Clinton won the primary https://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/story/news/politics/2016/09/26/retweet-bernie-sanders-wife-jane-raises-questions/91140254/

The 2020 Sanders campaign appointed Russian interference denier and Jill Stein 2016 voter Briahna Joy Gray as the campaign’s National Press Secretary https://twitter.com/briebriejoy/status/888555665865814017?lang=en

Following promises to run a civil campaign, Sanders hired David Sirota, a man who’d spent months attacking other primary contenders online, as a speech writer.  The campaign also confirmed that Sirota had already been serving in an advisory role prior to his official hiring https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2019/03/sanders-promised-civility-hired-twitter-attack-dog/585259/

Press Secretary Briahna Joy Gray called for the doxing of a Sanders critic on Twitter. If there was any repercussion for this behavior, it has never been made public. https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/8/14/1879124/-Bernie-Sanders-s-Campaign-Doxed-a-Critic-on-Twitter

The 2020 campaign hired and fired YouTuber Matt Orfalea within 24 hours after being alerted of his sexist, racist, homophobic, and ableist content, suggesting he was not vetted before his hiring https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/bernie-sanders-matt-orfalea-mlk-youtube-video/

Despite his firing and the campaign decrying his behavior in October 2019, in January 2020 Jane Sanders was still retweeting and praising Orfalea.  https://twitter.com/Rob_Flaherty/status/1236861997398048768

In March 2020, Orfalea posed as a Biden volunteer and made calls to voters claiming that Biden has dementia.  https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jgeanp/a-man-fired-from-sanders-campaign-is-calling-biden-voters-and-saying-he-has-dementia

They hired and fired Darius Khalil Gordon after two days after being alerted of his sexist, racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, and ableist Tweets https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2019/12/bernie-sanders-new-head-organizer-called-people-fgs-bhes/

The campaign also hired former Women’s March leader Linda Sarsour as a campaign surrogate.  The Women’s March cut ties with Sarsour following anti-Semitic statements. https://nypost.com/2018/11/20/womens-march-founder-calls-on-current-leadership-to-step-down/

Sarsour was also condemned by the Anti-Defamation League for the statement that “a state like Israel that is based on supremacy, that is built on the idea that Jews are supreme to everyone else.” https://forward.com/news/national/435964/bernie-sanders-linda-sarsour-jewish-voters/

Sanders National Campaign Co-Chair Nina Turner claimed that Biden’s strong support among Black voters is due to the voters’ “short memories” and “not a true understanding of the history” https://thehill.com/hilltv/rising/473161-top-sanders-officials-hits-biden-over-riding-on-obamas-coattails

The 2020 campaign paid staffers working 60 hours a week an average of 13 dollars per hour despite Sanders campaigning on a 15 dollar per hour minimum wage https://www.vox.com/2019/7/20/20700841/bernie-sanders-minimum-wage-staff-pay

Bernie Bros attacked Biden’s Detroit rally on 3/9/20, striking senior aide Symone Sanders in the head with an iPad and knocking her down. https://www.politico.com/news/2020/03/10/joe-biden-detroit-protests-sanders-124874

“Nobody Likes Him”: Sanders Himself

In 1996, Congressman Barney Frank said of Sanders, “Bernie alienates his natural allies.  His holier-than-thou attitude—saying in a very loud voice he is smarter than everyone else and purer than everyone else—really undercuts his effectiveness.”  https://www.boston.com/news/politics/2016/04/11/history-barney-frank-bernie-sanders-criticize

In her recent Hulu documentary series, Hillary Rodham Clinton briefly spoke about Sanders, saying “He was in Congress for years.  He had one senator support him.  Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him, he got nothing done. He was a career politician. It's all just baloney and I feel so bad that people got sucked into it.” https://twitter.com/Burkmc/status/1235863901813661697?s=09

A former campaign staffer called Sanders “unbelievably abusive.”  Another campaign insider called him an asshole, and a former Senate staffer recounted, "He yelled in meetings all the time.”  https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/anger-management-sanders-fights-for-employees-except-his-own/Content?oid=2834657

One aide stated that Sanders “never makes you feel like you’re good enough to be in the room with him.”  https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/06/us/politics/bernie-sanders-image.html

Sanders voted in favor of dumping nuclear waste on the poor and predominantly Latinx community of Sierra Blanca, Texas https://www.texastribune.org/2016/02/28/Sanders-Nuclear-Waste-Votes-Divide-Texas-Activists/

When asked if he would visit the site in Sierra Blanca, Sanders answered “Absolutely not.” https://archives.texasobserver.org/issue/1998/09/11#page=11

Sanders voted five times against the Brady Act which required universal background checks and a waiting period to buy firearms. https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/oct/13/hillary-clinton/hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders-voted-against-brady/o

He also voted against the AMBER Alert System. http://archive.boston.com/news/local/vermont/articles/2006/09/21/sanders_vote_on_amber_alert_emerges_as_key_campaign_issue/

He wanted to primary Obama in the 2012 election cycle. https://www.thenation.com/article/yes-bernie-sanders-wanted-obama-primaried-in-2012-heres-why/

After saying millionaire senators are immoral (https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/24/politics/bernie-millionaire-senators-immoral/index.html) and railing against millionaires and billionaires in his 2016 campaign, Sanders responded to criticism of his millionaire senator status by saying “if you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too.”  His stump speech now only rants about billionaires. https://theweek.com/speedreads/834228/bernie-sanders-says-millionaire-like-write-bestselling-book 

Upheld a ban on rock concerts as mayor of Burlington like a Footloose villain https://i.redd.it/atpybo1rcwa31.jpg

Despite running on forgiving student loan debt since 2015, when pressed for specifics during an interview with Dana Bash, Sanders responded, “I don't have the plan in my pocket right now,” because, you know, why on Earth should he know the details of his key campaign promises? https://mobile.twitter.com/DanaBashCNN/status/1137779734467792897

Two days before the 2016 general election, Sanders tweeted “I do not believe that most of the people who are thinking about voting for Mr. Trump are racist or sexist.” https://twitter.com/berniesanders/status/794941635931099136?lang=en

 Sanders had a heart attack at age 78, making his continued life expectancy 3.1 years. https://www.cardiovascularbusiness.com/topics/acute-coronary-syndrome/study-65-older-mi-patients-die-within-8-years

He could have dropped out of the race after his heart attack and endorsed Warren, and she could have spent the primary building coalitions with the demographics where she was the weakest, and could well have been the front runner by now.  Instead, he selfishly stayed in the race, screwing her over and knowing full well the odds are against him living through a single term.  He continued to do the only thing he’s good at: fucking everyone over.

Say whatever you want about Biden, it’s not like there aren’t things to say.  But I’ve seen so many posts about how “Sure, Biden’s the worst EVER, but he is EVER SO SLIGHTLY less worse than Trump,” and excuse me, fuck off.  Biden horribly lost his wife and daughter before his 1972 Senate term even started, and instead of dropping out, he continued to serve his constituents while commuting home two hours every night to raise his sons.  Meanwhile, in 1972, Sanders was a deadbeat bum stealing electricity.  There’s no comparison.

[energon-with-a-curly-straw]

Salted peanut caramel squares. I’ve made them many times; a baked pretzel crust, sprinkled with peanuts, a layer of caramel, topped with more peanuts. It can be a bit of a dice roll how hard or soft the caramel layer turns out, but they’re tasty and a hell of a lot easier than my 7 layer candy bars.

The bottom layer is out of the oven. There was a miscommunication on whether I needed mom to make the caramel, but I clear that up and get to work. There’s a pot and thermometer already out. I had been planning to use a bigger saucepan, but I figure mom knows what she’s doing so it’s probably fine. The ingredients are in and I turn on the burner.

It’s important to mention that it has been a few years since I’ve done this; sometimes things get muddled in my brain. I turn the burner to 8 until the butter is melted, than put it on high. Hey, don’t fucking do this, by the way. This is a recipe for severe burns.

It’s boiling. It’s spilling over the sides as I stir and dripping down onto the element. There’s smoke, and a little bit of fire, but nothing that can’t be handled. The caramel still hasn’t reached the desired temperature- sometimes you need to tap on the thermometer top to get the needle to move, but even then we’re still only 4/5th of the way there. My dad is by my side, wiping away the drips with a wet cloth before they fall. It’s looking a bit darker than it should. Dad grabs a digit meat thermometer from the drawer. You can feel the anticipation in the air.

Fuck. The old candy thermometer is off by a fair amount. Plus, it turned out I’d mixed the oven temperature for the candy temperature (who puts the oven temperature in both Celsius and Fahrenheit?), so it would have been wrong no matter what. I can’t use this on the bars. I tell dad to grab a baking sheet and line it with parchment paper. Now. He’s concerned it’ll burn through the paper- he’s looking at the box wasting precious time we don’t have, while I stand there desperately stirring a bubbling pot of burning sugar. I pour the contents onto the sheet, trying to spread it out on the paper before it hardens.

‘Oh, haha,’ you say. ‘A bit of impromptu toffee with a slightly smoky flavour? Jolly good.’ No- I’m not done.

We open the window and take a breath. The toffee itself isn’t bad, but we should definitely throw out the old thermometer. Whether we can save the pot is still undetermined. We hear sirens in the distance. We joke it’s the firetrucks coming for our smoky cooking. The sirens are getting louder, they keep starting and stopping. Flashing lights are coming down our street.

It’s a fucking Santa parade. Apparently one that no one in the village knew about. It’s three or four firetrucks and a handful of cars decorated in Christmas lights. Santa is sitting on top of one of the trucks, and I think I recognize him as the fire chief. Wild, but okay, the fire station is pretty close. I think they were doing something for essential workers the other day, so maybe it’s related?

We have a good laugh; a funny little story. Yeah, we’re not done yet.

I’ll remake the caramel after dinner. We wipe down the stovetop and yield the kitchen to mom. We’re having homemade mac n cheese. I’m sitting in the room other, playing animal crossing. Something’s burning. Flames rise from burner liners- a small amount, but more than with the caramel. This one isn’t even my fault- apparently baked on coconut milk is super flammable. The fire alarm goes off. The next burner, the one beside the one I’d used earlier, begins emitting a great deal of smoke. I can see the firetruck parade out the kitchen window behind us.

Dad throws a cup of water in the flaming burner, wiping the smoking element with a wet cloth. Mom’s battling with the smoke alarm, which annoyingly keeps turning itself back on. We’re opening windows to clear out the haze that lightly blurs my vision. I can see the Christmas lights and sirens between the houses in the subdivision right behind us, all the while we desperately pretend we are not having a fire.

There’s just something so accurate a description of my life right now as having unintentionally made the best (and most dangerous) toffee brittle of my life that is completely impossible to replicate, with three separate kitchen fires, while my tiny town’s fire department flashes in the background, decked out in lights for a parade no one was expecting or prepared for.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice League International #8 (1987)

Is it weird that I have a newsstand copy of a comic book when I definitely was shopping at my local comic shop in 1987?

This cover has so many jokes to talk about that I probably won't have time to review the entire issue. My stomach is already sore for laughing so hard! Look at how the box marked "fragile" is about to fall onto the floor thanks to the carelessness of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold! Ha ha! And they're carrying the large box upside down! According to the label on the upside down box, it's going to Paris, France so it must contain Crimson Fox who is almost certainly swearing in French because have you ever tried to masturbate while upside down in a box being jiggled by two men?! The incompetence of those guys is hilarious! But the best joke is the one where the only woman on the team doesn't lift a finger to help and also can't make up her mind about the placement of a gigantic box that hasn't been opened yet! See how funny that is? Because who cares where the box is placed?! It's not like they're moving a desk or an end table and Black Canary is coming up with a floor plan! It's just a box that will need to be opened and then broken down and then thrown out! The other funny part is that yellow spray around Beetle's head and the shape of his mouth because I think it suggests he's about to call Black Canary a bitch! Ha ha! I probably left out the joke about the hernia although that one might just be implied. Also, it'll probably be a blatant joke later in the story. The issue begins with Jack Ryder on his right-wing radio call-in television "news" program fiasco of a show Hot Seat trying to get the masses to shit blood over the Justice League. It'll work because the masses in comic books (as well as the masses not in comic books because we've all seen how people who listen to and watch right-wing radio call-in television "news" programs easily believe the alternate reality fed to them because it speaks to their inherent biases and selfishness) are idiots. (That might be my favorite interruption by parenthetical reference I've ever written.) I also know that it will work because Glorious Godfrey only recently did the same thing a year or two ago and it worked. But comic books don't recognize time and space in the same way that we more logical and real readers do so the masses won't remember that they were fooled just a year ago by idiotic television pundits who don't mind seeing the world burn as long as they can cash a fat check over it. I doubly also know it will work because Millennium is coming up and I think that might be proof that maybe Jack Ryder was sort of right because aliens have infiltrated Earth and are pretending to be heroes and possibly even right-wing radio call-in television "news" hosts. I don't really remember much about Millennium except that it was weekly and there were Manhunters in it.

My favorite comic book characters when I was a kid were Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. I bet Jack Ryder was Sean Hannity's favorite. Tucker Carlson's favorite was probably Hitler.

This issue begins the long running joke that Martian Manhunter is addicted to Oreos. I fucking get it, man. Have you ever tried to melt an Oreo into a spoon, fill a needle with the liquid contents, and inject it straight into your bloodstream? Me neither because that's stupid, you dumb idiot. Why would you even suggest it? You need to inject them straight into your taste buds. J'onn, Mister Miracle, and Captain Atom are setting up the New York Embassy which leads to lots of jokes about shoddy construction and terrible wiring and lazy movers. At one point Captain Atom electrocutes himself and then destroys all of the wiring because he's the guy the United States wanted to represent them on the new international team. I'd say his penchant to escalate a situation straight to violence proves the United States made the right decision. Batman and Guy Gardner oversee the outfitting of the Russian Embassy with a little help from Rocket Manhunter #7.

Even Rocket Red has heard about Guy's serious brain trauma and yet nobody has even discussed getting him a medical check-up. What a bunch of bastards!

This is also the issue that begins the "Bwa-ha-ha-ha" gag (I think. Did it happen in an issue previously? Maybe?! Anyway, it really gets going here). That's the gag where somebody laughs when something terrible happens to somebody else. It's a great team building exercise, to laugh at a co-worker's pain! Or if it isn't, it, at the very least, helps develop personal morale. Nothing better than laughing at your manager after her credit card was stolen by a prospective new employee while the entire company was in a meeting, especially after learning that said card was pretty much just used at The Honey Baked Ham. Does that make if funnier? Or is this one of those dark humor things like when the same manager was super pissed at an employee I was training for not showing up for work the day before Thanksgiving only to learn later that she had died of carbon monoxide poisoning the previous night which caused her to erupt into crying jags for the rest of the day which I'm positive weren't for my poor co-worker but for her guilty feelings of being so angry at her. That's dark humor, right? The "Bwa-ha-ha-ha" gag begins when Booster tries to hit on a Parisian woman and gets shot down. Later, she winds up being the League's Paris Bureau Chief. And also maybe Crimson Fox?

This scene is well done in a book that often tries too hard for stupidly silly humor.

I'd say that these three pages (the scanned page being the third of the three) of interaction between Blue Beetle and Booster Gold is ground zero for what would become a great best friend relationship. Any interaction before this was just of the generic Blue Beetle making a stupid class clown comment to the group. But this foundational scene in Paris already feels like these two at their closest which, admittedly, is mostly Blue Beetle laughing at something dumb Booster Gold did. But I like to view this entire relationship through the lens of a Booster Gold mostly driven mad and insane from having to live through so many alternate timelines. Sure, the reader doesn't know about that aspect of Booster Gold yet (and won't for more than a decade). But I can't help but understand Booster Gold through that lens now. And his need for some kind of consistency and whimsy and, almost certainly, a need to be able to laugh at himself must be expressed through this relationship as a kind of therapy. In a universe where not even the timeline lacks consistency, Booster Gold finds solace in getting his balls busted by Blue Beetle.

Maybe I'm a dick who doesn't understand true friendship but this is totally what it looks like, right?

The issue ends with a Keith Giffen drawn story about the end of the Global Guardians, or at least the end of their United Nations backing. I'm sure it's a set-up for a future story but even if it were just a couple page story acknowledging the Global Guardians and how they're affected by a new United Nations backed team, it would remain an interesting moment. I don't need iron clad continuity in my comic book universe but I am entertained when writers acknowledge the waves their stories are making in that continuity. Plus it's drawn by Giffen which always makes it seem like I'm reading a story from the perspective of a madman. Justice League International #8 Rating: B+. How come when I publish a manifesto, people refer to it as a 'zine?! How do you get the fucking power to have your photo-copied screed with "art" considered a manifesto?! How many people do I have to rant at to get some Goddamned recognition?! "The Truth About Star Trek Transporters" is not a fucking fanzine, people! It's a manifesto of the alternate reality we're being asked to accept! The alternate reality of an alternate reality where people are being sent to their deaths every fucking mission only to be replaced by clones of themselves and nobody fucking cares! Probably because they're all clones of clones of clones and their ability to think rationally has diminished to the point of dogmatic stupidity! Am I the only one witnessing this while others simply think its some kind of retrograde perspective?! Does my antediluvian intellect subquester the means of proliferating the parallax of reality?! Does the inclusion of three hilarious dick jokes deny me the mantle of manifesto writer, oublietting my ego into an infinite mirror trick of endless zineian declarations?! Fuck this shit! And fuck that satellite that's been following me throughout this meandering conclusion!