#Pepa isn’t justified

[toaverse]

Unpopular opinion unfortunately but Pepa being mad at Bruno was the only anger that was justified. She suffers from anxiety attacks and Bruno made her have one on the most important day of her adult life by going “it looks like rain” which in LatAm is also a way of saying your marriage won’t last in some countries. So I don’t blame her for causing a storm at her wedding, I blame Bruno. While Bruno suffered a lot, I think the fandom tends to ignore the fact that Pepa did too(the bags under her eyes are almost as deep as Bruno’s, the only reason she’s not gray is that she’s a ginger). And a lot of it is due to misogyny and ableism. I know the fandom loves bruno but y’all’s cinnamon roll isn’t perfect. He can make mistakes too and what happened on Pepa’s wedding is one of those mistakes. I think at the very least she deserves an apology from Bruno for her wedding.

Disagree

Send me unpopular opinions

[foggyfanfic]

Love and Fury

Chapter Preview: He resisted the urge to apologize to her. He wasn’t used to rejecting offers of friendship, he didn’t get enough that he could generally afford to do so; but, he would not, could not, let himself get close to somebody that had hurt his family. Especially unprovoked like she had.

Ch1 Prev Next Master List

Chapter 4 : Book Club

Leandra had not slept well Monday night. She hadn’t gone into town so she had fortunately been spared Cicero’s company, but she had started to worry that maybe Bruno wouldn’t be there on Tuesday. Maybe Pepa would tell him the truth and he’d be so embarrassed by his (technically justified) anger that he’d avoid her, or maybe that anger would dwindle on its own. He’d put up with years of growing resentment from an entire town of people, how could she possibly compare to that.

If he wasn’t there, there’d be nothing to keep Cicero from harassing her, and who knows what would happen once he realized she wasn’t actually interested. Ay dios, what would he do if he ever figured out she’d been purposefully interrupting his attempts to get other girls alone for a year now?

So, she was as relieved as she was startled when, bright and early on Tuesday morning, Bruno slapped his book down on to the wood counter of her stall and yelled, “Rico is a racist!”

“Wha-,” she was briefly interrupted by a yawn, “What?”

“I reread it, Rico is a racist, he is prejudiced against the people of Nemgo,” Bruno explained, gesturing wildly as he spoke, “he isn’t as overt about it as his friends, but one, all his friends are overtly racist, and two, he laughs at all their prejudiced jokes. And! And he only becomes interested in Ginger after he finds out she isn’t from Nemgo like he thought. Th-that’s why he was too casual with the King of Nemgo and all that, because he doesn’t see the King as a real monarch.”

Leandra blinked at him a few times, the information processing, she grabbed the book and scowled at it, “Nuh-uh, there’s no way, I could swear the central theme was about the evils of unchecked power, and, and the way war disproportionately affects the impoverished.”

“That’s what I thought at first too,” Bruno nodded, entering the stall to sit in his chair, “but the only reason Nemgo and Ahdubhi are so powerful in the first place is because they are both imperialist powers. And they only became imperialists because they were competing with each other. The book is actually about how hatred dehumanizes us.”

She yawned again, then groaned as she folded her arms on the counter and buried her face in them, “Ugh, now I want to reread it but I’m too tired. Couldn’t you have had your brilliant epiphany on a day when I wasn’t up all night?”

Bruno snorted and put on an airy tone, “I’m afraid my genius waits for no one.”

She laughed, but that too turned into a yawn, her eyes watering. She wiped at them as she sat up straight and handed the book back to him.

“You ok?” he asked hesitantly, he knew he wasn’t supposed to care, but Bruno had never really been capable of complete apathy.

“Hmm, better now that you’re here,” she muttered, scooting her chair over so she could lean against the side of the stall, “I was super worried about-. Um.”

Meirda! Where was she going with this? The truth? Bad idea.

“About?” Bruno prompted.

Thinking fast, Leandra smoothly recovered from her slip up, gesturing around herself with a vague hand motion, “This whole, y’know, thing.”

Nailed it.

Bruno cocked his head, also gesturing vaguely around them, “The cheese stand?”

“Cicero,” she said, summoning up a half truth, “worried he’s going to move on to another girl.”

On the one hand she totally wanted him to leave her alone, on the other, as long as he was distracted with her, he wouldn’t be threatening some other poor girl with his tricks.

“Well, y’know,” Bruno replied in a sing-song voice, “if you want to be with Cicero, all you have to do is apologize to Pepa. I’ll get right out of your way.”

She just grunted and rested against the stall, her eyes idly drawn to the book she’d handed back to Bruno. He fiddled with it, running his fingers over the corner of the pages so they made a quiet “fwip, fwip, fwip” sound. She yawned and he frowned at her, she was about to ask if he found yawning offensive but he cut her off.

“Wait, what do you mean better now that I’m here?”

“Hm?” 

“When I asked if you were ok you said, ‘better now that you’re here’, what do you mean by that?”

“Oh,” she marshaled her thoughts, surprised that he hadn’t written the comment off as flirting like most people would have assumed, with a shrug she admitted, “I enjoy your company.”

Bruno’s eyebrows screwed together and his mouth formed a flat line. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking but she figured he either didn’t believe her or was confused by her apparent conflict of interest.

“That’s um, a part of what has me so worried,” she said, realizing as she spoke that it was true, “yeah sure, you’re keeping Cicero away from me, but I’ve never had the chance to get to know you before. Turns out you’re kind of fun to be around. Thing is, Cicero is afraid of you so I can’t be around the both of you at the same time, so when this ends, however it ends, are you just… never going to talk to me again?”

Bruno blinked at her and she stared dully back, leaning bonelessly against the stall, eventually he gulped and reasoned, “I-I can’t really be friends with somebody that hurt one of my sisters.”

“Fair enough,” she sighed, her shoulders drooping. Leandra turned to watch people go by, although Bruno suspected that she wasn’t actually seeing them. Eventually, she sighed again and shook her head minutely.

He resisted the urge to apologize to her. He wasn’t used to rejecting offers of friendship, he didn’t get enough that he could generally afford to do so; but, he would not, could not, let himself get close to somebody that had hurt his family. Especially unprovoked like she had.

“Read it to me,” she suddenly declared.

“Hm- wha-what?” he pulled himself from his thoughts to stutter at her, then waved the novel in the air, “You mean the book?”

“No, I mean the Rosetta Stone. Yes, read me the book, or at least the parts that prove Rico’s a racist.”

“Oh,” Bruno thought about it for a second then shrugged, he could do with the distraction, “Alright. Do you remember everyth- How long ago did you read it?”

“Uh, a few months? Rosalie and I read it together during her third trimester,” Leandra waved a flippant hand, “so it couldn’t have been that long ago. Pretty sure I remember all the important bits.”

“You know, I didn’t realize you were that close with Rosalie,” Bruno opened the book to the first chapter, “how is she? How’s the baby?”

“She’s doing a lot better, turns out she really enjoys weaving. And little Julio is doing really well. Did anyone tell you that he was named after Julietta? She really helped with the delivery.”

“Is he? I had no idea, that’s great,” Bruno felt his face split into a giant grin, “she should bring him by Casita sometime. Mama is always saying lately how much she loves babies.”

Leandra snorted, “Y’know, it’s funny, once I reached marrying age my Papa suddenly started saying the same thing.”

“Oh, you don’t think… oh. I didn’t even notice,” Bruno frowned down at the ornate “One” on the open page. Of course his mother was trying to hint that she wanted grandchildren, that made sense. Too bad Bruno wasn’t likely to give her any.

Or maybe not too bad, on the one hand, Bruno loved kids and he loved the idea of being a father. On the other… any kid of his would probably be labeled as Bad Luck Bruno’s Spawn, and he didn’t want to do that to his children.

Leandra’s foot gently nudged his calf, when he looked up at her she was smiling gently, “You good?”

“Chapter one,” he read, instead of answering her question. She didn’t push and instead settled back to let his words flow over her. As promised, he pointed out all the evidence of Rico’s bigotry to her and by the end of the third chapter she was beginning to agree with his theory.

For most of the morning their impromptu book club was interrupted by the occasional customer, which was fine as it gave Bruno the chance to rest his voice. However, they eventually saw a lull in people and Bruno found himself reading through chapters four and five without a single break. He looked up at the start of chapter six to tell her he’d need some water before he continued, only to find her sleeping against the flimsy wall of the market stall.

Bruno sat completely still for a few seconds as the fact that she was sleeping slowly registered. Should he wake her? No, that’d be rude, wouldn’t it? Except, she was the enemy, he should want to be rude to her. But he didn’t want to be rude, he really just wanted her to give Pepa the apology she deserved. So, he shouldn’t wake her, right?

But what about the cheese? He didn’t know any of the prices. And what was Bruno supposed to do until she woke up, just sit here? He glanced around at the rest of the market, maybe he should go.

His eyes skated past the leather shop, then zipped back to the gauzy white windows.

On Friday she had said that Cicero had sat in there watching her for the first opportunity to talk to her without Bruno around. She might have been convinced that Cicero had her best interests at heart, but Bruno wasn’t so sure. There was something so… unsettling about the thought of that sleazebag sitting behind the curtains of the shop window, watching Reina sleep and hoping that Bruno would walk away.

He scowled at the windows, just in case Cicero was on the other side of one, then set the book aside and instead started petting Leche. He wasn’t about to leave Reina unguarded, even if he didn’t like her.

She slept for about an hour until a loud voice startled all three occupants of the little stall, “Perfect! That’s exactly what I want for lunch, a bit of cheese and bread!”

Leandra blinked around, looking adorably confused, until Osvaldo appeared clapping his hands together with (noisy) enthusiasm, “Senorita Lopez, what do you ha- Bruno?”

“Um, h-hi,” Bruno waved nervously, the last time he’d seen Osvaldo it had been after the local doctor had warned him that he should go on a diet or else risk losing his figure. He had come to Bruno, hoping a vision would prove the doctor wrong, only to see himself older with not just a gut but a slightly receding hairline too boot. He hadn’t gotten angry about it, but he had whined about it endlessly until Mama had very politely kicked him out of Casita.

“What are you doing here? Uh-oh, watch out Senorita! This probably means you’re getting fat,” Osvaldo laughed at his own joke, missing the way Leandra blinked up at him like she wasn’t quite sure if he was real or a weird extension of her dreams. She turned to Bruno with a confused pout and he just shrugged at her.

“I’m uh, we were talking about this book,” Bruno held up the book in question.

“Oh, that one, terrible isn’t it? Chapter ten just comes out of nowhere,” Osvaldo complained.

“Actually,” Leandra paused to stretch, “Bruno noticed that Rico is a bigot, he was explaining to me how that leads to chapter ten.”

“Really? Huh, I never noticed. Let me know when you return it to the library, I’ll have to check it out again,” Osvaldo clapped his hands together again, earning a huff from Leche, “Anyways! What do you have today?”

“Cheese,” Leandra deadpanned.

Osvaldo roared with laughter, “Guess I walked into that one. What sort of cheese?”

Bruno glanced around, “Goat cheese?”

Osvaldo laughed again, “Ok, ok, I get it, you two are a pair of regular comedians. What do you have on sale?”

“Well, we got a few wheels of garrotxa that need to be eaten soon, and a slice of brabander that’s the last of its kind, hmmm, I’d have the pico if I were you,” she hummed, looking over her samples on the counter, “it turned out really well and has been selling fast, but it’s not on sale so if you’re looking for a cheap lun-.”

“Say no more,” he waved his hands, “I’m sold, I’ll take the pico!”

“You got it,” she grabbed a few of the small wheels from the insulated crate and offered them to him, telling him which wheels would most likely be the creamiest, and which would probably have the best flavor. He selected two then wandered off to buy some bread from European Baker.

They watched him go.

“He’s uh, he’s a nice person,” Leandra eventually said.

“Mm-hm,” Bruno nodded, lips pressed together, “very well meaning.”

“Si, si, never an ill-intention in his entire life,” she nodded back and for a second they just nodded at eachother.

“He’s a bit loud,” Bruno blurted.

Leandra sucked a breath in through her teeth, “Si.”

She drummed her fingers on the counter and looked around, glancing from Bruno to the direction Osvaldo had gone and back again, eventually Bruno asked, “What is it?”

“Do you… know why he accused me of getting fat?”

“Oh,” Bruno laughed nervously, “I kind of gave him a vision, um where he grew a gut.”

“Ah,” she nodded, but still felt confused, “like… soon? Is he going to grow a gut in the next couple of years?”

“No, he looked middle aged in the vision.”

“Oh. So why-? I mean, that’s a normal part of life.”

“Si.”

Suddenly, Leandra perked up, “Look Bruno! I can tell the future too!” She cleared her throat, made a big show of sitting up straight and closed her eyes. Eventually, she gasped as if shocked, then turned to Bruno and reported in her most serious voice, “You will show signs of aging when you’re older.”

Bruno couldn’t help it, he laughed, a lot louder than he’d meant to, “Perdon, perdon, it’s just… yeah! That’s it, that’s one of the most common visions I give. ‘Bad news, you will continue to be affected by the passage of time’. And somehow, people are shocked every time.”

“Ay dios,” she giggled, “that must get kind of old after a while. Pun fully intended.”

He nodded, sighing wearily even as his grin persevered, “Si. I-it does. Not that I’m complaining a-about having a miracle or, or anything. I wouldn’t, I know I’m- we’re blessed. I-I wouldn’t want to seem-, I mean, I’m grateful, very grateful, of course.”

“Meh,” she shrugged, “everything has a down side, right? I figure you got a right to complain, especially since people can get kinda uppity about the whole future thing.”

“Yeah, they do get sort of… intense,” he gulped.

There was a thoughtful pause, then she asked, “What sort of stuff do you look for? Y’know, when you get to look for yourself.”

“Oh, g-gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to look for whatever I want,” Bruno hummed, “i-it takes energy you know, I mean some visions come to me, those ones are easy, but others I have to go digging for and that’s- it’s not usually- well it’s kind of a headache. Literally.”

“So why do it?” she asked, “Osvaldo doesn’t need a magic pile of sand to tell him he’s going to grow old, he just needs a reality check. Why put yourself through physical discomfort for something so, I don’t know, obvious, I guess.”

“Mama doesn’t like it when I tell people no,” Bruno shrugged, then realized how that sounded, “I mean, she’s never said as much, b-but-. Don’t get me wrong, if I say no she’ll back me up, unless it’s like, really important. I just, I can tell, y’know. When she’s not happy and she’s trying not to show it, I can tell. She has enough on her plate as it is. It’s b-better if I just do it.”

“Not for you,” she said softly.

He gulped, swallowing everything he wanted to say to that and picking something unrelated to tell her, “I saw Julietta’s wedding.”

“Oh?”

“Th-the last time I looked into the future without- b-because I wanted to,” he explained, “I- it was before her and Agustín started seeing each other, there was this guy she had a crush on. Felix’s little brother, Felippe, do you know him? A-anyways, the point is, I thought he’d make her happy, so I just wanted to see if they’d end up together. I-instead I saw her marrying… Agustín.”

Leandra blinked, her mouth forming a little “o”, then she broke into giggles, clapping her hands together, “Bruno that’s wonderful!”

He shushed her, looking around as if he expected the entire village to be listening in, “I-I probably shouldn’t have told you that, I shouldn’t even know it.”

“Right, si, claro,” she nodded, biting her lip to try to contain her glee, “it’s just… he’s been in love with her since we were kids. He basically worships the ground she walks on.”

Bruno couldn’t help but smile, “Si, he’s a really great guy, I-I’m looking forward to him being a part of the family.”

“Speaking of-. Wait, I maybe shouldn’t tell you this,” Leandra pressed her lips together, then shrugged, “Nah, it’ll be fine. Speaking of wonderful men having crushes on your sister, yes I do know Felípe, and he told me something very interesting about Felix.”

“Oh?” Bruno frowned, he hoped Felix didn’t have a crush on Julietta, that would cause problems.

“Apparently, when Felix found out that Pepa was fully single again, his face lit up like a firefly,” Leandra grinned, “and I can’t help but notice he’s been hanging out with you guys a lot more since she went back on the market.”

He stared at her and bit his lip to keep from saying anything. If it was true that Félix was interested in Pepa, then Reina may have done her a huge favor by getting Cicero out of the way. Félix was a way better man than Cicero, way, way, way better; but Bruno couldn’t just say that. Even if Reina’s actions had indirectly created the opportunity for Pepa to end up with a much, much, much better man, he couldn’t just let Reina off the hook for throwing that food at her.

“That is good news,” he eventually said.

“Right?!” Leandra pushed a strand of hair out of her face, “Honestly, Pepa deserves a sweet guy like him after everything that’s happened lately.”

“Everything being… you humiliating her at a party so you could steal her boyfriend? That everything?”

She swallowed the urge to grimace and just chirped, “Yep! That’s the everything I mean.”

Bruno stared at her, trying to figure out what exactly her deal was. Did she like Pepa? Then why did she attack her? 

“Were, o-on the night of the party, were you drunk?” 

“Nope,” although she was beginning to wish she was drunk right now. She was always a queasy mess when she drank, but at least she was a quiet queasy mess that was too busy trying not to throw up to open her big fat mouth.

“Alright,” he said, drawing the single word out into a long, uncertain question.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the day. Bruno was too busy trying to work out what was going on with Leandra, and she was worried that if she spoke anymore she’d continue to slip up. At the rate she was going she might end up telling him every secret she’d ever heard.

When the day came to a close Bruno was kneeling in front of the stall, petting Leche’s tummy while Leandra packed up her stock. She pushed her wagon around to the main road and waited patiently for Leche. Bruno just happened to look up in time to see Cicero helping his friend open a stubborn window on the ground floor of the leather shop, their eyes met and Cicero blanched.

“I’ll walk you guys to the edge of town,” Bruno patted Leche’s tummy and stood.

Leandra glanced around, then her eyes lingered on the leather shop, she nodded, “Fair enough.”

When they parted ways she handed him a couple of small wheels of pico, telling him it was one of the things his mother bought whenever she stopped by the stall. Indeed, when he handed them to his Mamá, her face lit up and she thanked him profusely.

[furiousgoldfish]

More thoughts on Encanto:

The character of Mirabel is so parentified she was the only one doing any parental work throughout the entire movie; she was the only one to give care and support to her siblings (Antonio, Louisa,  Isabela) and she was the only one to seek out Bruno, while all of the adults also threw their personal issues at her (Pepa, Abuela) and some blamed her for it all

I love Mirabel's mother, and her love and support for Mirabel, but she modeled a role of a public service for Mirabel, and from this Mirabel learned that it's the only admirable and valuable role she could have; to the point where she was suffering for not being powerful enough to be a public service, and instead became a private service

I love Bruno but I wish his character was depicted more consistently, when we first meet him he's showing a lot of anxiety, withdrawal, guilt, shame, and he starts following the lucky rituals (lucky songs, knocking on wood, stepping onto the right places) which I have learned to associate with OCD, but, he doesn't repeat them obsessively or a fixed number of times, so I'm forced to conclude he doesn't have it, it's just general anxious behaviour. Then, he starts presenting different personalities complete with names who help him function, and for a wild moment I'm believing I'm staring at a disney character with a dissociative disorder, until a second later, he says he was acting, it was a joke! It felt a lot like baiting and they had me both times

Later as he presents to the family his anxious and withdrawal behaviour disappears and he is able to communicate with all of the family members easily

'We don't talk about Bruno' hits differently once you're aware Bruno is listening thru the walls

Nobody apologizes to Bruno for scapegoating him, forcing him to disappear, pretending he didn't exist, holding projected grudges for years. Instead, he apologizes to them. And it's all good, somehow. Bruno's suffering goes unacknowledged.

Abuela's trauma doesn't serve as a good explanation for the control and fear she brought upon the family; if you look at Isabela after she discovered her new power and her grandmother is angry, Isabela shows fear, shame, regret. She withdraws from fun, from growth, developoment, joy, because she's scared of her grandmother. This implies Abuela has punished her before for not being perfect enough, she's clearly scared and is ready to give up anything not to anger her grandmother anymore. How can this be rationalized by past trauma? It can't.

Bruno lived inside of a wall because of how scared he was of Abuela. Even though he was doing what she told him to do. This cannot be justified.

The scene in which Mirabel stands up to grandmother was perfect, but I don't think  that's where the house should have fallen apart; it's the act of slowly pressuring the family into breaking that created the rift between everyone, not the act of calling it out, the call out should have served to uncover that the family was broken all along

The resolution of Abuela's act is wildly unrealistic, in no scenario does a person abusing their power go 'Oh, so I guess I've been forcing this family into dysfunction and fear all these years, my bad, I'll be good now' and it doesn't have any further consequences, it's magical thinking and I've never seen it play out this way

I broke down when I realized what the message of the movie was:  Mirabel was what everyone needed to go on, and yes she was but it implies the children and the youngest of the family are there to fix the family's psychological and emotional issues. It implies that is their purpose within the family and they exist to resolve the elder's trauma. This isn't right. The youngest are there to be taken care of. The elders can take their trauma elsewhere, and provide care for the youngest, instead of parentifying them into their personal emotional crutch

Everyone losing their powers and being able to cope immediately bothered me, there should have been a period of denial, anger, grief, loss of identity, loss of self worth, a journey to find out who they are without their powers, some should have experienced relief at no longer being a public service, all of them lost their roles in society and would have to find new ones

It would also make them way more reluctant to go back to using these powers, they'd now be aware that the powers can be lost, and can take a big chunk of their identity with them

This movie was a testament that not even having magical powers can save you in a dysfunctional family

I got upset when at the end Mirabel still didn't get a gift, but afterwards realized that the way she touched the doorknob and the magic spread thru it, was the parallel to what Abuela did before with the candle; Mirabel is the new magic holder, and the house recognized her as the head of the family, she replaced Abuela

Which means there are two possible reasons why she couldn't get her gift originally; first is that Abuela held onto it and didn't want to give it away, meaning she was the reason Mirabel never got a gift and agonized over trying to find a role in the family for so long

The second theory is that Mirabel was already stronger in magic than Abuela and has rejected the gift because she already had a more powerful magic inside of her

I like that it was acknowledged that Mirabel is the more competent and reliable head of the family and was doing better work to lead the family in the right direction than Abuela did, but I still dislike her role, because you know she's only getting all the responsibilities without any privileges, she's now the caretaker of everyone, but nobody is going to start to respect her or care for her needs

Overall I loved the movie and that it opened so many topics to discuss, 'Surface Pressure' was raw and painful and I've already seen thousands of people resonate with it, the message against perfectionism was also strong, and it warns you not to trust smear campaigns. One part of me is so glad this is all out in public, another one sad because this means so many kids are now traumatized, it has became monetizable to feature family trauma in popular children's media

[c-rose2081]

Do the majority of the family care about Mirabell at all in the tainted AU? Like if Julietta was told off for visiting her daughter would Abuela have gotten mad at her for curing Mirabel if she got sick? If the worst were to happen and Mirabell died as a result of her living conditions or neglect would they react or feel any guilt at all? Or would Abuela feel totally justified in her actions up to and including Mirabels death or injury? What about the rest of the family?

Mmm, there’s a lack of empathy on all sides of the board when it comes to Tainted. This story is almost exclusively made up of angst (cause I love that stuff).

There are a few characters who really do care about Mirabel; Julieta, Luisa, Antonio, Agustín - though it’s from a distance. A few who have basic human decency like Dolores and Camilo who would speak up if she happened to be laying dying somewhere, and then Pepa (+ Felíx cause he doesn’t have his own opinions apparently), and Abuela/Isabela who feel she has all the necessary tools to keep herself alive, and that outside interference isn’t really needed. Bruno is the only one with truly ‘malicious’ intent, in that he doesn’t want to become the forbidden family member again, therefore wouldn’t say much at all.

Please note, that Mirabel hasn’t even done anything yet to any of these characters except for Dolores - who she blackmails into keeping quiet about her. She’s been pulling strings; and planting seeds of unhappiness behind the scenes for quite some time now. Slowly but surely edging closer to her goal. This changes on the night of Antonio’s gift ceremony into something a bit less subtle.

Abuela fully believes that she gave Mirabel a blessing; allowing her to stay in the Encanto after nearly destroying (*cough* touching) the magic. And seeing as she’s a power monger, has a lot of people on her side as well. She doesn’t want Julieta giving her own daughter special treatment, but she allows healing to be done so long as Mirabel visits the square like everyone else, where she’s in full view of the public.

It’s a very split bag of who thinks what, and how they express (or don’t) it. Which is why the story is so fun to fuss around with ;)

[inawickedlittletown]

Eddie Begins - Some Thoughts

I’m putting his under a cut because spoilers. Also because fair warning it’s over 3k long. I clearly had a lot of feelings. 

Pretty much from the moment that we knew we were getting an Eddie Begins, anticipation has been high and boy did this episode deliver. The episode opens with Christopher’s birth and Eddie is present for it and his emotions are all over the place and so well displayed. I loved the moment when the doctor asks him if he wants to cut the cord and he says no and Shannon just roasts him right there and then “you’re an army medic, but this makes you squeamish?”. The scene does a lot to establish Shannon and Eddie and Eddie is just precious when he gets called “dad” — “I like the sound of that.” 

One thing that we don’t get in the middle of all of this is the birth complications? Nothing about the scene suggest that there were any complications. Christopher is delivered, the doctor tells the new parents that it’s a boy and they have the moment about the umbilical cord. But we were told previously that Christopher was stuck and that his CP might have been a result of the birth complications. So it was interesting that we didn’t get to see that. 

Next we see them post-birth in a hospital room with Eddie’s parents and we get a very interesting tidbit: Eddie’s dad was not present at either Eddie or his sisters’ births. And later in the episode, we also learn that Eddie’s dad wasn’t around much — because he was working — when Eddie was little. It’s an interesting parallel and in some ways this may even go as far as to make commentary on gender roles and how both Eddie’s mother and Shannon were primary caretakers of their children and expected to do so. It even might explain why Eddie felt like he needed to support his family by working rather than by being present. 

When Shannon’s mom arrives, Eddie runs over to hug her. His parents are warm and welcoming, and Shannon is surprised but pleased and they talk about her clean bill of health and everything seems nice and happy but the set up for angst is happening because we know Shannon’s mom will get sick again and we also know that Eddie and Shannon are not going to be happy. The whole atmosphere of the room changes the moment that Eddie is asked how long he’s staying for and Shannon isn’t happy when she says that he’s only there for another week. What new mother would be happy with the prospect of her husband leaving so soon after they had a baby? But Eddie points out that the sooner he goes the sooner he returns and then returns for good. That obviously doesn’t end up working out because as we see later when Eddie is finally back, things don’t go well. 

Shannon gives Eddie the necklace with the St. Christopher charm and explains what it is and Eddie vows to come back and be with his family and as the scene ends Eddie says this: 

“No matter what happens, I’m always going to fight to come home to my family.” 

This of course is when we get that flash forward to later in the episode when Eddie is calling on the radio that he’s alive and yet no one can hear him. It is the perfect transition into the future. The writers have done such an amazing thing in creating this episode and framing it around Eddie’s past in a way that truly gives us so much information about Eddie and yet connects us to the story at present. The placements of the flashbacks just hit so strongly. 

That said, I want to write about the past on its own first.  

The next time that we see a flashback it is 2015 and Eddie has reenlisted in the Army. Christopher was born in 2011, so that puts Christopher at around 4 years old and from the way that this scene plays out it’s also clear that Eddie wasn’t home long before he decided to take on another tour of duty. (Edited to add: apparently Tim says this scene was supposed to be in 2013 which still doesn’t make a lot of sense other than how young Christopher looks)

What we do know is that Eddie was not around when Christopher was diagnosed with CP and that he doesn’t understand it necessarily past knowing that his son is “sick” and that all of what comes with that is costly. We also find out during this argument that Eddie enlisted in the army after Shannon found out she was pregnant in the first place — that was his response to her pregnancy. So he wasn’t around for her from day one. 

Eddie is clearly of the mind that in order to take care of his family, he must be the breadwinner and that he must support them by working and bringing in money. He needs to provide for his family. While I think that absolutely plays a part in his decision to re-enlist, Eddie also doesn’t communicate any of that with Shannon. He doesn’t listen to anything that Shannon has to say and just does what he thinks is best without consulting her and it’s a little bit heartbreaking. Shannon is also looking for other solutions. She hasn’t been working because she’s taking care of Chris and yet she offers to sell the house, the cars, and to start working but to Eddie that’s not putting Christopher first. And this disparity between them is the argument that will never end — Eddie deciding things without consulting his wife and not understanding that Shannon needed him around and that Christopher needed him around. 

Shannon makes a point of telling Eddie that he’s made all the choices even while saying that he has no choice. We know because Eddie and Buck have spoken about it, that Eddie did feel like he was running away when things got hard with Christopher and Shannon and it is hard to watch it actually happen. When he goes to pick up Christopher, it is awkward and unsure and Christopher clearly doesn’t even know him and that just cuts so deep because we know the kind of relationship that Eddie has with Christopher in the present. 

Next time we are in a flashback it is still 2015 (I actually 100% think they screwed up with the year though going off of how 3 months after this incident when Eddie is home Christopher is said to be 6 years old so it would be 2017...except that the last flashback we get tells us it’s 2017 so who knows). Christopher looks older through the video chat and we also learn that Shannon’s mom is sick again. And this whole sequence is all about how Eddie earned his medal and we get to see him in action. But this gives us this beautiful moment to parallel with the present where Eddie is looking at the St. Christopher medal and at a picture of Christopher and it just seems like he’s sure he’s going to die and in that moment he’s thinking back to his argument with Shannon and I think it’s a moment of realization for Eddie for how much he has missed out on knowing his son because as much as he may love him, he also isn’t there for him. As an aside I want to add that back in S2 Christopher says that he wished for Eddie to come home for Christmas one year and that Eddie did. So Christopher knows all about Eddie either from Shannon or from Eddie’s parents — but he knows all about his dad even at a young age. Enough to miss him and want him home and to love him just like any child loves their parents and it’s also something that Eddie probably doesn’t realize until much later on when he does get to be around Christopher and be his dad at last. 

Eddie is injured and he gets his Silver Star and he doesn’t feel particularly deserving or heroic about any of it, but the next time we see him three months later he’s back home in Texas and the whole family is there — at least his parents, Pepa, and his Abuela are around and it’s clear that they’ve come out to Texas to see Eddie and because they’re celebrating his medal. 

Eddie brings out juice for Christopher in a cup with ice and his mom immediately tells him off and while yes it’s true that Eddie may have done something wrong, his mom is also very quick to judge him and his lack of parenting skills. And what’s interesting about this moment is that when he mentions it to Shannon she has clearly been dealing with Eddie’s mom for years and likely getting the same treatment. This would have been the perfect moment for them to bond over that. 

Shannon jumps into asking Eddie about going to California and the thing about the way she asks is a little bit obnoxious. In S2 Shannon and Eddie argue and Shannon says something along the lines of “you didn’t want to leave your family in Texas” and it is implied that Eddie thought he couldn’t leave the support system of his family in Texas. As we come to find out here, she meant that he literally would not leave the family that had flown in to see him on a whim just because Shannon wanted to pack up and take off the next day. 

Shannon lights up at the idea and doesn’t try to understand why Eddie is so against it. She’s just ready to go and we know this is about her mom and that she’s been waiting for Eddie to be home for a long time, but I think she was pushing in a way that was always going to result in Eddie saying no. And what Eddie asks for is more time, but Shannon is done and can’t give him any more time. 

“I needed more time too” is all her note reads after she leaves them. 

Shannon’s feelings and actions are absolutely valid and I think she needed to leave him, but she’s also wrong in doing it the way she did instead of giving Eddie the ultimatum of: “I’m leaving. That’s that. Figure out what you want.” I’m not sure how Eddie would have taken that, but it would have gives us a different perspective of her leaving. Another point to make is that it is one thing for Shannon to abandon Eddie and another to abandon Christopher and leave him behind because she could have taken him with her. She’s his mother and she left him and Eddie is justified in being upset about that. 

The next flashback places us in 2017 and Eddie is talking with his parents who are adamant about having Christopher move in with them because Eddie has three jobs and isn’t around often enough and because they have been the only constant in Christopher’s life — not Eddie and not Shannon. Eddie actually defends Shannon leaving even though he’s also angry at her. I think her mom is 100% justified in blaming Shannon for leaving her son, but it’s interesting that Eddie sees it as Shannon leaving him specifically and not necessarily Christopher. I also find it interesting that Eddie is applying to be a firefighter at this time and that he isn’t doing so in Texas — unless the FD in Texas rejected him? — but he mentions Chicago and LA and obviously we know he goes to LA but I don’t buy it that he decided on LA because of Shannon. I think it’s in part to do with Abuela and Pepa being there and that Eddie isn’t all that sure about finding Shannon. After all, we know that he doesn’t reach out to her at all until he needs to for Christopher’s school. 

I find it fascinating how Eddie’s parents offer him little to no encouragement about stepping up and being a good dad. They acknowledge that Eddie loves Christopher, but then in the same breath point out how Eddie doesn’t know Christopher and how Eddie is inadequate as a father especially if he’s going to be working as a firefighter. It just in some ways drives home for me how much Eddie’s view on life has been shaped by these two people that didn’t truly believe in him and that clearly value the family unit and the idea of the nurturing mother and all of those things are still so present in him later on. 

And then we get the most beautiful scene in this entire episode and it is Christopher sitting outside on his own because that kid can do whatever he wants and Eddie finds him and sits with him and they have this beautiful moment during which Eddie decides to ask Christopher what he wants and Christopher wants to be with his dad — “I missed you all the time” Christopher says and Eddie could never leave this boy ever again. And I think when they start talking about leaving that Eddie is entirely conscious of the fact that he’s going to do it against his parents’ wishes and I just love the way that he holds Christopher in that moment. It’s just precious and perfect and I love it so so much. 

In the present time we have Christopher and Carla stop by the station because apparently it’s show and tell at school later in the week and Christopher is Christopher so of course he’s been searching through his dad’s stuff and he wants to take Eddie’s medal in. But before that we get a nice sequence about working radios and the look that Eddie and Bobby share when Buck fails at using his radio is so full of fond and “why do we deal with him again?” and it is perfect. 

Christopher of course gets his way because he’s Christopher and both Carla and Buck are there just watching Eddie give in like they both clearly knew he would. Also, it’s interesting to note that Buck doesn’t seem to know the story of how Eddie got his medal. Then the 118 are out on a call. A boy is missing. Eddie figures out where he is — in an abandoned well — and then when it is time for one of them to propel down to get the boy, it is Eddie going down and he sounds a little like Buck when he tells Bobby that he’s the one going down there. And the audience is preparing for angst. And because this is 9-1-1, it is the perfect time for the weather to just get worse and worse. 

Eddie pulls a Buck and cuts the line when he almost has Hayden and his thirty minutes are up and it is both a moment of complete trust from Eddie that the rest of the 118 will get him out of there and stupidity. And yet it just makes so much sense for him to do that when he almost had Hayden and when Eddie is sure that if he doesn’t get Hayden in that moment that the kid will likely drown. 

This is the first instance of Buck panicking a little when he says “I lost the weight” and he’s confused and doesn’t want to admit what he already likely knows — that somehow Eddie is no longer attached. They all look so devastated. 

The next thing that happens is one of my favorite things. Bobby immediately tells Chim he’s going down but Buck is ready to volunteer because of course he wants to go after Eddie so that he can save him. Hen points out how horrible that idea is because Buck is just as stupid as Eddie and then the two of them would be stuck down there. 

In the end, Chim goes down and he finds Hayden and Eddie and Hayden is pulled up to safety while Eddie waits. This is exactly the moment when things go wrong again. Lightning strikes and Buck tackles Bobby and there’s an explosion and the truck falls and things underground are even worse than before. 

Eddie is thrown about down below, but Buck is the one having a breakdown because as soon as he realizes that Eddie is in trouble, Buck throws himself to the ground where the hole was drilled and he is digging through the mud as if somehow that can get him to Eddie. Buck is desperate and devastated and his logic is all but gone as he yells and yells Eddie’s name in exactly the same way that he yelled for Christopher during the tsunami. It is absolutely heart wrenching. 

Buck’s reaction here is not normal for a co-worker or for a friend. It is the reaction of someone that loves without any doubt — it is the reaction of someone that knows they could be losing someone especially dear to them. It is absolutely true that Buck and Eddie are best friends and that they are close, but this connection that they have between them just transcends that. It is more than that. As much as we know the others love Eddie, they don’t react this way. They don’t let their emotion overtake them in the same way that Buck does — Buck who doesn’t lose his composure in this way when he needs to be a professional does for Eddie. And it’s a beautiful thing whether we look at this romantically or platonically, either way what is evident is that Buck loves Eddie. 

When Bobby goes to Buck, there is no quelling the desperation and it is as Buck realizes that he can’t do anything that he falls back onto Bobby and it is such a heartbreaking expression that it is difficult to not read more into what Buck may feel for Eddie. 

The next thing we see is Buck cleaning his hands. He’s desperate to go back out there and find a way to rescue Eddie but no one knows quite what to do and there’s a moment when he, Hen, Chim, and Bobby are standing outside the house where it is very clear that everyone is thinking about the odds and the likelihood that Eddie is already gone and for Buck that is not an option — it’s not something he even considers entertaining. There’s a beauty to his devotion and yet so much hurt too. The others are of course not going to give up either, but they are less convinced of a good outcome. 

Eddie meanwhile is stuck down there and now he’s in water and his oxygen eventually runs out and he’s basically on his last breath and in that moment where everything seems lost we hear a voiceover: “Woah, you got a kid,” it’s Buck. 

It’s a flashback montage and the first thing that comes to Eddie’s mind is the moment when he tells Buck about Christopher. Yes, this is literally the first instance on the show where Christopher is brought up, but that didn’t mean that it needed to also be the first thing that starts up this flashback montage especially since the rest of the montage is out of order. Buck shows up a lot throughout all of it and the logical aspect to this is that Buck is just always around when Christopher is, but they made a conscious choice as to what would be shown and I think that does speak volumes about Buck being a part of the family. I’d love to see someone figure out if they even left out any of the moments that feature Buck with Chris and Eddie. The montage is shown while Carry You by Ruelle ft. Fleurie plays which is such a fitting song. (And I will forever give props to the person in charge of music for 9-1-1 because they always know how to pick the perfect song for every moment). We hear Eddie call the 118 his family in a small voice clip from an earlier episode and then a repetition of: “I’m always going to fight to come home to my family.” And it is Eddie fighting to get out of that water and live for Christopher.. Oh, the feels. 

Meanwhile, the 118 is figuring out how to find and rescue Eddie and Buck looks like his whole world has fallen apart. He looks so close to falling apart again because by this point he must believe that they won’t find Eddie. And Eddie makes his dramatic entrance and he just pushes past some other firefighters and no one tries to grab him or stop him. Buck loses not a second to run to his side even though there are a bunch of other people around. Bobby is right there next to him and the shock that Bobby displays and the way he says Eddie’s name in that moment also says so much about Bobby being sure that Eddie was long gone. 

The way that Buck holds Eddie up and actually grasps his hand is a thing of beauty. And Hen is there right behind him telling Eddie they will get him home and Eddie is still thinking about his son and the importance of making that show and tell and being there for Christopher which is what we flash to in the next moment and once more we are hit with how much Eddie treasures his son, his good luck charm. 

This episode was a lot of what I wanted from an Eddie Begins. It gives us a deeper understanding of Eddie, filling in all the gaps that we could only guess at before and giving us a fuller picture of what Eddie and Christopher’s journey has been. Mixed in with that was a rescue that in some ways fit in with the flashbacks and I am so glad that we got this. And yet I also do have to say that more could have been done in terms of showing Eddie’s growth as more than just a parent because at the end of the day the episode ends up being more about Eddie becoming a father and embracing that rather than about Eddie changing and growing in other ways. 

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Other Meta/Reviews

[stereostevie]

The Rap Grammy Nominations Are Weird As Hell | Nov 25, 2020 11:12 AM BY TOM BREIHAN

The very first time that the Grammy Awards recognized rap music, it was an utter fiasco — a clear case of an aging pop-music establishment failing to understand this vital new youth music that had sprung up and rewritten the rules. For the 1989 awards show, the Grammys added one rap category, Best Rap Performance. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince won it for “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” beating out LL Cool J and Salt-N-Pepa and Kool Moe Dee and JJ Fad. The show didn’t deign to recognize Public Enemy, N.W.A, EPMD, Slick Rick, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B. & Rakim, or Ice-T, all of whom had released classic albums within the voting window. The award wasn’t televised, and most of the nominees, Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince included, skipped the show, attending a “Boycott The Grammys” party instead.

Since that night, the history of rap at the Grammys has been a series of baffling, embarrassing decisions. It’s Steely Dan winning Album Of The Year over The Marshall Mathers LP. It’s Gretchen Wilson winning Best New Artist over Kanye West. “It’s weird and it sucks that I robbed you.” It’s also a history of rappers getting angry over the Grammys: “I never let a statue tell me how nice I am,” “You think I give a damn about a Grammy?” In 2019, Drake showed up to accept Best Rap Song. In his acceptance speech, he talked about how the Grammy voters weren’t necessarily the right people to define rap success. The broadcast cut him off mid-speech. Earlier this year, Kanye West, a man who once cared more about Grammy Awards than anyone else not named Neil Portnow, tweeted a video of himself pissing on one of his Grammys. (The Grammys still nominated West this year, for Best Contemporary Christian Music Album.)

Yesterday, the Grammys nominated Freddie Gibbs and the Alchemist’s Alfredo in the Best Rap Album category. That’s great! Freddie Gibbs is a great underground rap success story, a guy who bet on himself and kept doing great work in his own lane even after multiple major-label situations fell apart. Gibbs has never made a hit song in his life, and he’s gotten himself into a position where he doesn’t need to make hit songs — where he can just follow his instincts and keep his own style intact. Alfredo isn’t my favorite rap record of the year. (Even in the field of Alchemist-produced 2020 rap albums, I’d give the slight edge to Boldy James’ The Price Of Tea In China.) But the nomination for Alfredo is still a very cool surprise, the kind of thing that I would’ve never expected to see from the Grammy nominating committee.

And yet Gibbs’ nomination doesn’t exactly announce a new golden age of Grammy rap consideration, a time when Recording Academy voters are finally figuring out how to approach the genre. Instead, his nomination points toward something else: An institutional recognition of middlebrow, middle-aged, respectable rap music.

All of this year’s Best Rap Album nominees are Black men between the ages of 35 and 47. The oldest nominee is Nas, who is now on his fifth Best Rap Album nomination and who has never won the award. (The Best Rap Album Grammy didn’t exist in 1994, when Nas released Illmatic, but there’s no way in hell that Nas would’ve won it anyway. The Academy would’ve given the award to Coolio’s It Takes A Thief or something.) The youngest nominee is D Smoke, a former high school Spanish teacher who is also the brother of the TDE R&B singer SiR. D Smoke made his way into Grammy contention after winning the first season of Rhythm + Flow, the Netflix rap-competition show. (Two of the three judges from Rhythm + Flow, Cardi B and Chance The Rapper, have won Best Rap Album themselves. T.I., the other judge, has been nominated three times and never won.)

D Smoke isn’t exactly a revered or popular rapper, and I have’t seen anyone calling his perfectly-OK album Black Habits a masterpiece, though the man has certainly done better than anyone could’ve expected from a rap reality-show winner. But D Smoke raps exactly like a diet version of Kendrick Lamar, so his nomination works as a clear indication that the Grammy voters really, really wish they had a Kendrick album to nominate. D Smoke is also up for Best New Artist, alongside fellow rappers Chika, Megan Thee Stallion, and (I guess) Doja Cat. Presumably, Megan’s Good News would also be nominated if it had come out early enough to be eligible. Meanwhile, Chika hasn’t released an album, and Doja Cat is nominated in the pop categories, not the rap ones.

Instead, then, we’re looking at five guys hovering around the age of 40, all of whom are respected technicians with boom-bap inclinations. Jay Electronica, who’s nominated for A Written Testimony and who should probably be considered the front-runner, is technically a New Orleans native, but nobody thinks of him as a Southern rapper. (Jay-Z is all over A Written Testimony, to the point where anointing Jay Electronica feels a bit like throwing awards love to Jay-Z in a year with no Jay-Z album.) All the albums up for Best Rap Album are, at the very least, solid. A couple of them, Alfredo and A Written Testimony, are very good. But this is still a remarkably stodgy list — one that shows that the whole middle-aged respectability fetish that’s long plagued the Grammys is now embedded in its rap voting wing.

Freddie Gibbs and Nas and Jay Electronica and D Smoke and Royce Da 5’9″ are all gifted rappers who have done great work. Most of them could justifiably be considered legends. But none of them really show the world where rap music is, let alone where it’s going. By recognizing those albums, the Grammys have pointedly elected not to recognize something like Lil Baby’s My Turn, which is probably 2020’s most popular album in any genre and which is also a fine example of the 808-heavy depressive melodic-goo rap music that currently dominates the genre’s mainstream.

Other hugely popular, artistically important albums are also absent: Lil Uzi Vert’s Eternal Atake, Roddy Rich’s Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial, Polo G’s The Goat, Gunna’s Wunna, Rod Wave’s Pray 4 Love. Instead, the rap albums getting nominated are the 2020 equivalents of the Steely Dan album that famously beat Eminem. That’s not an indictment of the nominated albums. It’s an indictment of the stuff the Recording Academy values. It’s also a cautionary look of how things might look if the Recording Academy ever gets its way, if rap comes to rely on accepted ossified skill-sets instead of its current state of constant, furious stylistic evolution.

As someone who’s around the same age as this year’s Best Rap Album nominees, I’m not all that amped to see emotionally troubled, pill-gobbling 20-year-olds dominating rap music. But those kids are crucially moving the genre past whatever old men like me might want it to be. Fortunately, there’s at least one Grammy category that has done a pretty good job capturing where things are right now, and that’s Best Rap Song. The list of nominations there — Lil Baby’s “The Bigger Picture,” Roddy Ricch’s “The Box,” Drake’s “Laugh Now, Cry Later,” DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” — isn’t necessarily perfect, but it’s a fairly accurate representation of the kind of rap that moves people right now. I don’t know why the division between the Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song nominees is so stark. Maybe it’s a signal that the album is increasingly irrelevant. Maybe it reflects two different voting bodies. Either way, it’s striking.

Look, the Grammys are weird. They are always going to be weird. Fiona Apple’s Fetch The Bolt Cutters should’ve been the biggest lay-up in the world, but it isn’t up for Album Of The Year. Instead, the Academy’s voters went for Coldplay and Jacob Collier and a deluxe edition of a Black Pumas album that didn’t even come out in the eligibility period. “Rockstar” and “Savage” are both up for Record Of The Year, but Post Malone’s Hollywood’s Bleeding is the only album that’s even rap-adjacent that’s nominated for Album Of The Year this year. I thought for sure that Lil Baby’s My Turn would be the token rap album that would inevitably lose to Taylor Swift. Instead, we didn’t even get one of those, and My Turn got snubbed even in its own category. Nothing makes sense.

But this year’s Best Rap Albums nominations still show a weird alignment between Grammy Voters and a certain streak of real-hip-hop rap conservatism. Watch out for that. Nothing good, except maybe a Freddie Gibbs Grammy win, will come out of that.

FURIOUS FIVE

1. Roc Marciano – “Downtown 81” It’s not on streaming services yet, but Roc Marciano’s new album Mt. Marci is out in the world now, and it is marvelous. (I can’t tell you whether the digital download is worth the $40 that Marci is charging on his website. Make your own financial decisions.) Right now, the only song out for general consumption is one of the few that Marci didn’t produce himself. (It’s a Jake One beat.) But otherwise, “Downtown 81” is exactly the sort of laid-back, intricately worded deadpan splendor that you can expect to hear on the LP, whenever it goes wide. So maybe that’s worth the price of a full tank of gas.

2. Meek Mill – “GTA” (Feat. 42 Dugg)

Meek Mill released his Quarantine Pack EP on Friday, and the track currently getting the big push is the downbeat Lil Durk collab “Pain Away.” But the real thrill here is in hearing Meek and 42 Dugg getting bracingly urgent over a Detroit-ass bassline.

3. Chief Keef & Mike Will Made-It – “Status” Sosa and Mike Will have evidently chosen to name their new song after this column. Gentlemen, I see this tribute, and I appreciate it. I love you too.

4. Willie The Kid & V Don – “Mother Of Pearls” (Feat. Eto) This is pretty.

5. Statik Selektah – “Play Around” (Feat. Conway The Machine, 2 Chainz, Killer Mike, Allan Kingdom, & Haile Supreme)

Once upon a time, maybe 13 years ago, I was apparently such a recognizable and influential part of the New York rap press that Statik Selektah noticed me at an MOP show, introduced himself, and tried to get me to listen to his mix CD. All these years later, Statik is a globally acknowledged boom-bap specialist with enough juice to put three of the world’s greatest middle-aged rappers on a track together. I’m proud of Statik. I bet he gets nominated for a Grammy someday.