#Perry The Therapist

[yourfavewouldlikebrittaperry]

Brad Bakshi from Mythic Quest would NOT like Britta Perry!

[chainofclovers]

Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death

[f0rtunes-fool]

God I love Gabriel. One of the best overall CC characters.

[aquadicere]

you ever think perry was trying to therapy dr. doofenshmirtz because he was projecting his childhood insecurities onto him with his inventions but he couldn’t because he’s a platypus?

[barking-barkive]

BESSEL VAN DER KOLK AND BRUCE D. PERRY JUMPSCARE IN THE PHILADELPHIA AIRPORT BOOKSTORE

[nogoandbees]

i’ve showed the extremely sad neil perry x todd anderson fanfic i’m currently writing to my mum. She wants me to show it to my therapist bue cause she thinks is an autobiographic and now she is very concern about me. What the fuck have i done?

[due4amiracle]

Day 400

Listo:

Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Laundry/cleaning - Threw away a thing or two. ✔

Reading things - - No holds no holds NO HOLDS!. 111 for the year, 23 for the month! - Learning to Give (Hawthorn Academy #4) by D.R. Perry 100%! 3🌟 Doot doot trundling along! - Light of Equality (Hawthorn Academy #5) by D.R. Perry 53%! So much drama, so little time! - Manhwa: Survive as the Hero’s Wife 2 chapters of this read Nope🚫! UwU♡ ✔✔✔🚫

Dailies - - Waifu Did mah dailies! Also, level ?/50 BP now~! AND! Tree lvl 27/50! Also! 24/39 max friendship namecards acquired! New MONTH! new weeklies! Chasm gem thingy is level 6/10! ♡ω♡✔  - Cozy Grove - Doot doot continuing to scout along! Scout rank 17/17! 17/21 besties! More stuff more things! ♡ω♡ ✔ Well then.

Shells - 93/254 - 36.6% Fish - 90/180 - 50% Bugs - 97/199 - 48.7% Flowers - 253/372 - 68% Cooking - 64/71 - 90.1% Raw Ingredients - 38/54 - 70.4% Materials - 51/63 - 81% Recipes - 343/3619 - 9.48% ♡ω♡✔

- Pokémon Legends: Arceus - Star 8/10 get! 174 caught, 104 max level research pages~. |Alpha||Catch||MaxR/Total - Area |   49  ||   72  ||   70/85 - ObsiField |   47  ||   66  ||   64/75 - CrimMire |   52  ||   79  ||   78/96 - CobCoast |   49  ||   77  ||   75/90 - CoroHigh |   35  ||   71  ||   68/91 - AlabIce ♡ω♡ 🚫

- Coromon - ♡ω♡ 🚫

- Ooblets - 42/131 little frands, because why not track something. ♡ω♡ 🚫

- SWToR - Played about five and a half hours today, bringing me up to fourteen and a half hours total played. Whew. Lots of truckin’ about on Coruscant. ♡ω♡✔ UwU♡ ✔✔🚫🚫🚫✔

#TTRPGThings - Worked a little bit on backstory stuff for D&D character. Fantasized and worked more on the MagiKids thing. Sigh. ✔

Watching things - - Think i narrowed it down to SAO Alicization. TBF i ain’t gonna start shit until steroids are done, so that could totally change. - Misfits and Magic episode 1!

Other things - Daily Diarrhea Diary - Well, little loosey-goosey - but that could very well be because period. Which i woke up to it having started in earnest. So that’s fun. Did hear about my Father - ruptured appendix. He’d been in the hospital since Tuesday, but He’s home now, as of like 4 hours ago. He’s feeling fine, all things considered. He checks in with the doctor 10 days after He finishes His antibiotics and that should be that. So, phew. Had my appointment, that went well, will hook back up with her again middle of next month, that’s lovely. It was a lovely appointment, all about my Mother and trauma and such. Next time she wants to talk about my getting overwhelmed and digging my nails into my skin to ground myself. So. That’ll be great. Sigh. But not much else. Very exhausted, need a shower, bug people did not come - and i saw-and-killed a giant sp*der ugh, fight or flight kicked in and i panicked and there was no time so SMOOSH AND PANIC so yea, that happened - ahem. Anyways. they did not come so maybe Monday? maybe never. Who knows. Not me. So tired. Achey. Ready for bed.

Food: A Liquid: A Pain: B Brain: C

Tomorrow: Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Ever Onwards and Upwards!

[supreme-leader-stoat]

You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.

The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.

You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.

As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.

The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.

On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.

You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.

Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."

This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.

[deathdefyinggarlic]

"a platypus?!"

*perry puts on hate*

"PERRY the platypus!!?"

*perry pulls out chaise lounge*

"PERRY THE THERAPIST PLATYPUS!!?"

[videoblogbyjacobo]

If you're in need of a mood refresh, look no further than the beautiful music video for "Unpaid Therapist" by singer/songwriter Bailey Perrie. The visuals are absolutely stunning, and the song is incredibly catchy and upbeat - it's sure to put a smile on your face. Plus, the video features on adorable locations. Watch video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDsQO972dMM

[dear-ao3]

absolutely, completely and in all other ways OUTRAGED that @wearewatcher did not include dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on their list of disney dilfs.

is he technically from disney channel? yeah. does that matter? no. is he better than pongo and maurice and king triton? absolutely.

and i will tell you why.

as we all know, doofenshmirtz had a horrible upbringing:

-his own parents didnt show up for his birth -he had to throw his own surprise party -big black boots boris the bully kicked sand in his face -a kid outshined him at a science fair with a baking soda volcano -his mom wouldnt let him swim in pools -his dad won a dog and said it was the son he never had and named it only son -had to wear dresses to school -he smelled like pork ?? idk this one doesnt get explained -his brother was better at kickball than him -his brother got the teddy bear he got out of a claw machine and it ruined the family dynamic -he couldn't make pretzels -he failed as a magician -his first date was ruined -he lost a girl to a dude with big hands -has no coordination -accidentally ended up in america? -lived with a family of ocelots ??? -he had to be a garden gnome -was always thwarted and outshined by his brother roger

yea you get the idea

but does he pass any of this down to his daughter, vanessa??

no! he does not!

-he actually takes his daughters advice -he is a fantastic single dad and makes a good life for her (and supports her being goth. very important.) -he is civil with his ex wife also (which helps vanessas childhood) -he brings vanessa to work and tries to bring her into the family business -he wants his inators to be fun for her as a learning experience -he always gives her extravagant birthday parties !!! esp her sweet 16!!! -he does not direct his negative feelings towards his daughter ever, its always towards perry -he spends 10 years looking for a discontinued mary mcguffin doll!!! for her!!

and so on

instead of being horribly to his daughter he rather brilliantly uses his arch nemesis (perry the platypus) as a free therapist (rather ingenious in this economy) and channels his childhood trauma into creating his inators in order to take over the tri state area.

so hes definitely dedicated, knows his way around a toolbox and programming (valuable skills in the technology age), broke through the stigma of generational and childhood trauma, and hes just a little bit evil. as a treat. at least in terms of ryans criteria he is a fantastic dad. and that is what we are judging the dilfs on.

so in conclusion. @wearewatcher. why isnt dr. heinz doofenshmirtz on the top 5 disney dilfs list???

[bizarrelovesquare]

Dan posted this video that gave us a HUGE peek into Martin's notes about episodes they're working on...

Screenshots (with about 90% ID of what's visible, bless his handwriting) under the cut! Fair warning, it's long, but there's a lot going on here, and it's so much to think about!

picture 1: ????? chicken head funnier

picture 2: (first page) Reactionator

? Speakers all over town People's phones Therapist Doof & Candace

Therapist thinks she is crazy but is tactful

The shrink is delusional ? ? exercise that is the catalyst for Cand. being delusional

Candace "It's A Wonderful Life" -- After actual bust C sees everyone doing much worse she feels sad

Family - I think you discuss it Cruise Ship - P&F Van/Doof Last chance to Candace A / Perry back

(second page) Doof's DEI W/A C's Therapist

Doof same therapist

Ferb is next a speech therapist

Doof trauma-dumping on therapist

Therapist "The real self-destruct button is in your head"

Therapist does ex(?)nemesis - therapist

Therapist sees - "WAIT, I GET IT, what Candace is doing gets taken away by what HE'S DOING--"

(note going down side of page) GUEST ON DOOFENPUSS

Doof ? regular ? ? - but she can't ? this because of C ? Confidential ALL DANVILLE Doof and Vanessa on cruise ALL CHARACTERS ? Reactionator blackmail secret I ever tell you w/Lindana whose solved mysteries

picture 3: (script on the table) (our first potential season 6 title?) PHINEAS AND FERB

"VANESSAY"

Written by Martin Olson & Olivia Olson

picture 4: Vanessay

Change tennis to playground

Roger & slushy guy not zapped

Rog. - reflects ray w/ his teeth - set up teeth first Doof: strong jaw -

Agent T thumbnotes "Up the chimney is a weird visual pun" Stacy: "You know we have a front door."

C & Stacy w/ambient sounds joke sequence - cut down?

Mono - "Four seasons of this show" Why did I ? ? ?

To Liv for Vanessay Playground - see how ? ? trap sets scene - a handled window box

Stacy: "Hey ? I ? ANIMAL NOISES!" CUT TO BLACK

Stacy pushes ? out of doorway

Dimin: after "Shorty" - No prize is worth this!

picture 5: T For Teen For Liv - SC 916 Perry leaps into air & does triple flip & lands ready to fight

Pitch n buttons for each

Exec note - Thurs - T For Teens 1:48 end of C/Stacy annual ? sudden cut to end ? w "napkins"

MEAP - PT2 S&P CONCERNS

(I cannot make this bit out to save my life. Martin what in the world my dude)

picture 6: Meap pt 2 - thumbnotes

22 to Meap - "Uh-uh! An ship ? us away!" (clumsy)

Fix pronunciation "St. Lois" joke C is shushed by Meap

Tidy up - don't have everyone say "Don't forget to flush"

C pressing red button to explode ? ship sucks

Brenda joke sexist "No one tracks you through the universe more than your wife"

picture 7: 501 PT1 Exec notes - bigger intro of Doof instead of him on yearbook 10:27 Buf. throw away Constitution Irving beat #2 too quick to nerd

Deconstructing thumbatic

Instead of "psychosis" "phantasma"

607 - Isa hair - 704 OWCA shredding SC

C feels good - "? ? that every day"

12 min: Viewers see The Murder Board

Biblio Blast anim. notes Perry incompetent - smashes into Doof's roof Cut down - plants surrounding/attacking Cut down Doof/Per table start w/Doof "We have to HIT SELF DESTRUCT"

picture 8: (page 1) song by the paver the wind makes love w/each other again

around us - it all seems so real meaning confounds us - cuz nothing's revealed we're SW in love w/each other again

Middle 1: From nothing we hustle Towards each other again Our love seems to circle Without any end

V3: The cloud of unknowing has such beautiful colors But where is it all going ? towards one another? we're SW - in love w/each other again

Middle 2: We seek out each other Every time we appear Sometimes we find another Before we disappear

INSTRUMENTAL W/DANCING SKELETON

(page 2) Middle 3: The breeze says to hug her And show how we feel Slowly healing each other Every turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: So basically - We're SW Along by the river We sit on a porch and The wind makes us shiver We're SW in love w/ each other again We're SW in love w/ each other again

JOSH - The paver of

picture 9: While Dance

says to hug her how we feel healing each other turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: (So basically)

We're SW Alone by the river We sit on the ? and The wind makes us shiver We're SW In love w/each other again

picture 10: Swampy

is trapped

back build something

element

State Triangle

"It's like the Berm[uda Triangle] totally different

(Teen lounge) & P&F build

too much like

Dan wants PLANE to

Doof is the ship

Jon said we turn strong where Doof is in the clouds - there's

picture 11: It's a whole new summer Perry (reblog if u cried)

Earthquake

Mom is laughing so hard she can't look

Staring contest - Try not to laugh

Candace has to be ? at Jeremy's larping tournament but she laughs

picture 12: Perry sick, "Can you take

Candace P&F canoe race

Laughtrack-inator Start ? - reveal Doof hits them w/a Doof keeps cranking it up

Doof rises wall of ? behind at ?

Laugh-inator Cut to surgeon heart

Norm: Good mg. sir Doof: But I programmed you to

picture 13: (this is another view of the page in picture 2, but this one reveals slightly more at the bottom, nothing too noteworthy added except for this)

LINDANA 80'S COP MOVIE - GUEST ON DOOFENPUS

[captainwaffles]

So Perry is OWCA’s top agent. But is assigned to Doof, the like, least evil.

It’s because Perry got so good he went back to “agent school” and became like a therapist agent

[coffeelovinggayidiot]

Gonna take a short break from the internet to do a rewatch of friends and some other movies because this one hit hard.

I first watched Friends at my friend's house, and we watched The One Where Everybody's Late. I don't remember too much of my reactions to that episode, other than that I really liked the awkward sarcastic one. I told my dad when I came home that day that I watched Friends, and he got so excited, and he asked me who my favorite character was. I didn't remember their names at all (especially not Chandler) so I just said "The funny one" and my dad knew.

But I didn't keep watching Friends, because I had other shows to watch. I still knew the general idea (who couldn't), but I didn't have the time or attention span to watch ten seasons of a show.

And then my parents divorced. I was living with my mom, visiting my dad on the weekends, and I needed some comfort.

So I watched the first episode of Friends. Then the second. And before I knew it I'd finished the first three seasons and I was in love with this show.

Now, when I started the series, I knew I was going to like Chandler. He fit the bill for the type of character I gravitated towards perfectly. But something about the stories he was written into, his relatability, his quick wit, and Mathew's truly incredible delivery of each and every line, it all made me fall in love (and my crush certainly didn't help).

And then I watched season four, and the final episode had Chandler and Monica get together.

Up till that moment, I liked Chandler because he was relatable, and that made it easy to laugh at his struggles. I loved him because I could so easily imagine myself making the same mistakes, and using the same quick wit to avoid confronting my flaws.

But in season four, right at the last episode, there was a shift. Chandler's character went from a relatable figure who was unable to find a true sense of happiness, to one who was on the road to a life filled with it.

Soon, I watched Chandler find love with Monica, find peace with his quirks, reconnect with his family, find a fulfilling career, and start a family.

And as I watched this character, who I found so relatable, find himself, I realized that I could do that too.

And that gave me hope.

I wrote a Friends fanfiction (which I won't link because it's 18+), and it was my best work. I got so many of my friends here on tumblr into friends (hey @catboyrichardkarinsky ). I found a new way to connect with my teachers, friends, and even therapists.

All thanks to Friends. All thanks to this awkward, sarcastic, hopeless, hope-filled, character.

All thanks to Chandler.

One thing that took me so long to do was finish Friends. Not because I was slow in watching it, but because I didn't want to watch that last episode. I didn't want to say goodbye to these characters.

But you have to say goodbye. Because that's how life works, whether someone told you that or not.

So, goodbye Mathew Perry. You and your character changed mine and so many other people's lives, and we will all miss you. You will always be our Friend.

[ghostedcas]

more random cod headcanons

tw: mentions of self harm, references to OG ghost backstory, angst :)

141 tried to do group therapy together

but they ended up making the therapist cry and the four of them had to awkwardly comfort the therapist

ghost hates therapy with a passion but goes anyway

soap did the tide pod challenge

price lost it at him in the med bay when he found out

"johnny it's a plastic capsule of LAUNDRY DETERGENT!"

"yummy colours🥰"

ghost used to sh on his face

love how i just give yall a bunch of sweet stuff and then BOOM ANGST HEADCANON outta nowhere :)

i feel like he suffers from severe facial dysmorphia, especially after covering his face for so long

sweet pie gang: soap, könig, price

savoury pie gang: ghost and gaz

couldnt care less, just likes pie: horangi

ghost hates coffee but pretends to like it to seem cool (he's actually drinking coffee crisp hot chocolate)

horangi listens to ayesha erotica

he is also a RAGING bisexual (strong lean towards men)

laswell refers to the 141 as her boys, she loves to embarrass them like a mom would

soap and ghost are ATTROCIOUS at cooking

price is pretty good at it, can make quite a lot but struggles with a few harder recipes (and also somehow cannot make instant noodles)

gaz is a GOD in the kitchen but he hates cooking

soap is not allowed in the kitchen alone, once set the kitchen in fire trying to get a glass of water

awkward day on base when that happened

"sorry, can't go into the kitchen, the explosions specialist set it on fire trying to get a drink"

soap listens to classic rock and metal only (and katy perry but he will never admit it)

gaz listens to (shocking literally everyone on the team) music from the 40's, 50's and 60's. he listens to some modern music but he just ADORES the vintage music, especially jazz.

gaz and soap also like therapy

like genuinely enjoy it

gaz has to hype himself up before his appointments though

soap hypes the therapist up

price is neutral, he'd prefer to just smoke and drink to deal with his problems but understands that talking about them with a professional is the best option

ghost, as mentioned before, hates therapy with a burning passion but goes anyway

mostly because he knows he will be put on probation if he doesn't

but also because he knows that he needs the help even if he doesn't want to admit it

also after one of his first month of going to all his appointments that month without skipping one at all, price told simon he was proud of him and now he uses that as motiva to go to his appointments

price knows how to use technology in the weirdest ways

can operate a drone but cannot for the life of him figure out QR codes

a pretty decent hacker but do NOT ask him what any text slang aside from "lol" and "lmao" is. he does not know.

doesn't know that emojis have different meanings depending on context

once said "simon's in the hospital😭" i the TF141 group chat, gaz and soap thought that he was laughing at simon

soap got arrested in croatia on a mission once because he committed arson

kate had to bail him out and he got an earful on being a pyromaniac and arsonist

price just told him to restrict his fire setting to the battlefield

valeria has a medusa tattoo, it's under her chest on her sternum (iykyk)

ghost was tempted to get a medusa tattoo but decided against it because he views it more as a symbol of strength for women (really afab/fem aligned in general) who have suffered through that kind of assault and that it would be wrong to take that from them

he got a tattoo inspired by medusa instead

ghost has his on his hip

he was orginally going to get it on his left ribcage but when the artist was placing the stencil he almost had a panic attack and they both decided a different placement would be better

könig has tattoos for his siblings and his mother (mama's booooyyyyy🗣️)

ghost also has tattoos for his mother, tommy, joseph and even one for beth

is there a male version of a barracks bunny?

because that's horangi, that man is fucking EVERYONE or getting fucked, depends on his mood that night

idk i feel like sometimes they all watch like family guy or bob's burgers together sometimes during their downtime

soap's fav bob's burgers character is gene

price's is teddy

gaz's is tina

ghost's is both louise and bob

könig's is linda

horangi's is mort and kuchi kopi

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

ASOIAF entities as main pop girlies

The Night's Watch = Katy Perry

Once upon a time, pop's most influential hit maker suddenly decided to dye her hair blonde and get a pixie cut, got political, and publicly spoke to a therapist who told her to get her shit together. Thus began her never-ending flop era.

In an unrelated sequence of events, Aegon I Targaryen (a weird blonde man) invaded Westeros, created a central political unit, told the different kingdoms to get their shit together, and cut off the NW's weekly supply of men since there were no more pointless wars going around. Thus began their never-ending flop era.

BTW Jon Snow is the NW's 'Harleys in Hawaii'....their first and only hit in a really long time :(

The Kingsguard = Taylor Swift

Very famous, very rich, very influential, actually has a history of producing incredible material. But every now and then, you get a pop album that's just so..... bleh :/ And is Jaime Lannister the Westeros version of Taylor's Reputation era? Idk, you tell me....

Also, remember how TS had a feud with KP but got more famous and successful as Katy faded into irrelevance? Yeah, me too. In the same vein, the KG continues to maintain its high reputation while its counterpart (the NW) becomes even more irrelevant than it already was, if that's even possible.

The Golden Company = Gaga

Exclusively for the gays and no one else. There's really no doubt about it. But Gaga hurt the fanbase when she decided to pivot into acting, which is currently giving her more success than the music stuff. The GC has a great reputation but comes from a history of flop rebellions. So they've pivoted to a "Targaryen" pretender in hopes that they can win big this time around.

The Rainbowguard = Charli XCX

Huh?? Shouldn't the Rainbow Guard be Gaga??!

Please 🙄 don't be ridiculous. They do not have the material, and that's the T. But they're both for the gals and the gays. And in the same way that Charli had like two hits then faded into the shadows, the Rainbow Guard really can only claim Loras and Brienne. The rest are inconsequential.

The Brotherhood Without Banners = Dula Peep (aka Dua Lipa)

Who doesn't know THE Albanian pop princess Dula Peep?? She new, she's hot, and she's from out of town! She's got good music, but critics say that she's been recycling the same sound for a while now which is getting stale. The BWB has fallen into the hands of a foreign red god, and critics say that they can't produce a hit anymore since they kept recycling the same Beric. They did it six times, which got a little stale...

The Faceless Men = Grimes

Grimes makes really good music, I think? Also, remember when she dated a douchebag billionaire, got dumped, then staged a PR stunt reading the communist manifesto? Me neither. Anyway, the FM are known for being very good assassins who sell their services for the highest price possible. They were also founded by slaves, but that's probably unrelated.

Maesters of the Citadel = SZA

The talent is there, the influence is there, and the reputation is there. But you cannot trust them because they like to lie a lot...unprovoked.

[BONUS] Robb Stark's Vanguard = Bebe Rexha

Bebe is responsible for some of the greatest pop hits of the 21st century; she's even written one of the greatest K-pop songs of all time, that's a whole other region!! She's the very face of talent, but she's unfortunately a blink and you'll miss it type of gal. The average Joe would most likely struggle to name more than two songs from her. Robb's Vanguard also has the talent. They have the material. But sadly, 90% of us would struggle to identify anyone not named Dacey Mormont. I mean, did you even remember that this group existed?

[BONUS] Tywin Lannister = Nicki Minaj

A very talented but messy bitch who likes to play around with extremely problematic people...do I need to elaborate any further?