#Playing in the dark with no escape

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

[himejoshiangels]

do you know how fucking infuriating it is to go into the duke tag for posts abt one of my favorite characters only to be met with post after post of people who don't gaf abt him but want to pretend that they do by deciding to project their lack of interest in him onto the story itself. by saying over and over and over and over that the only way he fits into the dynamic of his family is by being fucking "normal" when that literally isn't the case. like it's fully entirely made up. pick up one comic with him in it, any at all and that's disproven. he only exists to juxtapose their chaos, their trauma, their quirkiness. I think that reply pissed me off so bad I reached my breaking point. it's already so hard to find any content of him at all but the stuff people make is always, always discrediting him entirely.

[valeriianz]

Road trip AU but make it hurt/comfort:

Dream is a runaway, hitches a ride with Hob, who's a traveling chef. Cue a slow trust, a budding friendship, banter, and motel sex. But first...

-

“Seriously?” Hob muttered to himself as he made out the dark smudge along the highway. 

Hob saw the black jacket and backpack before an arm swung out, a thumb sticking in the air.

A hitchhiker.

Something familiar made Hob’s heart stutter, recognizing the tired gait, the heavy arm, the almost hopeless glance behind the shoulder. Hob couldn’t make out the man’s face from this far, but he was creeping up fast, and he swallowed.

A part of Hob told him not to do it. Stranger danger, and all that. This guy could be a weirdo, a serial killer, or anything in between. Then again, Hob’s hands tightened around the wheel, he could get picked up by a weirdo, or a murder instead. Hitchhiking was falling out of style, and for good reason. Trusting a total stranger to give you a ride was extremely foolish and dangerous.

With only seconds to make his decision, Hob sighed loudly, coming out more like a groan, slowing the car and pulling off the road a few yards in front of the lone man. 

Hob’s own experience came crashing into his brain, unbidden. Homeless, hungry, dirty, just looking for some kindness. Hoping, at the very least, for a conversation free from judgment. The experience should have jaded Hob, doubt and suspicion taking over his decision making. But the reality was Hob had somehow softened, not a foolish amount, but with the new desire to be understanding and hopeful. Hob had been this man, shamefully trudging along the road, sticking a thumb out at the sound of a passing car, feeling stupid for it, feeling desperate.

Desperation makes one do stupid things.

The silence that filled the air as Hob put his hazards on was stifling, watching the dark figure approach from the rearview mirror. Anxiety built in Hob’s chest the closer the hitchhiker came, until the passenger side door opened and a backpack, which wasn’t that full, was tossed to the floor of his car. The man came in after, sliding onto the seat and pulling the door closed with a gentle thud.

He turned to look at Hob, and Hob tried– really hard– to keep his jaw on his face.

The man was gorgeous, in a way that almost frightened Hob. Pale blue eyes that looked haunted, sunken into pale skin that looked like it’d never seen the sun. And a mop of black hair that seriously needed a combing, sticking out in odd angles and visibly dry, almost graying it.

He was also incredibly thin, like a gentle breeze would blow him away. 

“Where to?” Hob finally managed to find his voice, turning away from eyes that could probably see into his soul, and back on the road.

“Anywhere.”

The reply startled Hob, causing him to look back at the young man in his car, finding him already slouching in his seat, eyes slipping shut, exhaustion overtaking him. His voice was a trembling baritone, dry and scratchy, like he hadn’t used it in ages, or he was parched to death.

Before putting the car back into gear, Hob reached behind him, fumbling around the floor of the backseat and procuring a water bottle from a large pack.

When he returned the man was looking at him, dull yet inquisitive.

“Here,” Hob offered the water and the man grabbed it with wide eyes.

Hob would’ve laughed if the desperation in his gaze wasn’t so terrifying.

He guzzled the water in 10 seconds, squeezing the plastic and gasping for air afterwards. Hob reached for a few more and the stranger took them, nodding in gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Hob felt an eyebrow quirk, wondering when the last time this guy ate or drank anything.

“Are you hungry?” Hob finally put the car back into gear and, checking his mirrors, pulled back onto the road. “Want to stop somewhere for food?”

Hob peeked over again, watching his new passenger stare out the door window, his forehead pressed against the glass.

“M’fine…” 

Hob bit his lip, clocking in the sign indicating the next rest stop.

[batsight]

Star Flower, loner, Medic of SkyClan

She/Her, cis bisexual

Mother: Turnip

Father: One Eye

Adoptive Father: Skystar

Siblings: Unnamed, all deceased.

Design notes:

-She is styled after the Pokemon, Ogerpon

-The plants are a physical part of her body. They grow out of her.

-She is the physical embodiment of The Blazing Star.

Story notes: [Abuse CW]

-She was born as a normal kitten to a traveling band of rogues who loved to trade and spread their music. Unfortunately, this band died out to a plague, one that nearly took her own life. Desperate to save his family, her father Carrot traveled to a set of tunnels in Sanctuary Lake rumored to house a reality-bending god. He asked the god for a cure, and the god asked for his eye in return. They made the exchange, and he retrieved a glowing, golden, five pointed flower. However, he was too late to save most of his family, so the entire cure went to his surviving kit. He wasn't expecting her to survive the night given her fragile state and the dubiousness of the exchange...

-But the next morning, she was perfectly fine- great, even. If a little... odd... were those buds growing on her paws...?

-It only got stranger from there. When Carrot ended up finding more cats suffering from the plague, just a few calming purrs from his kit seemed to have them ripe and ready to go the next morning. Carrot understood then what had happened- his kit had become the cure herself. And cats were starting to look towards them more, started begging for her healing, for anything. And Carrot had lost everything... wasn't it time to start winning stuff back?

-And so, the pair became One Eye and Star Flower, for recognition's sake. The two formed their own small group, filled with cats Star Flower had healed. Star Flower loved to spread her magic where she went, to save cats from the brink of death and be showered with their love and appreciation. They felt like they owed a great debt to her, and she enjoyed that.

-She was very close with her father, even if their relationship could be strained. One Eye loved her, but to an extent, he also used her. He grew arrogant in his success, believing he had become the accomplice to a god, and began to hold that over cats who fell sick. He grew desperate for control and Star Flower was his key to that.

-One day, however, her father's group encountered the early clans. They were just beginning to settle down, work out their new rules, and declare borders. But what caught the group's attention was the near murder of a young kittypet, almost mauled to death by proto-SkyClan's leader, Skystar. Unable to heal wounds with her magic, Star Flower managed to bring the cat to a twoleg, who took her away.

-Appalled by the cruelty, Star Flower took a great interest in Skystar's group, and witnessed several of his other crimes against his cats and the other groups. As did One Eye, who, seeing the early signs of a plague, had an idea to put this cat and the other leaders in their place.

-One Eye and Star Flower joined the group, with One Eye acting as a curious loner, flattering Skystar with praise. Skystar enjoyed his company, and so One Eye grew in the rank rather quickly. He also took a great interest in Star Flower and her abilities. After murdering Tom, who insulted the cats and attempted to attack them, One Eye took the chance to take control over the group, overpowering Skystar and using Star Flower's power to keep the remaining cats in line- everything is going to be okay, you'll get your cure... if you stay in line and do as One Eye says.

-This went on for a moon, of Star Flower holding her magic over the heads of her clients to keep their loyalty towards One Eye. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel pride at it all at helping her father.

-Ultimately, One Eye was overthrown and killed when Skystar came back with reinforcements from the other clans. The rest of the rogues they'd accumulated ran off, and suddenly, Star Flower was alone. She'd never been without her father, and running would mean abandoning his grave, which she didn't want. But... this place had been a home to her for some time now, and she needed a place to stay. SkyClan had taken all of the available territory in the area, anyways, and she was in no shape to brave the other territories or twolegplace. So she offered her power to SkyClan as a peace offering and asked for shelter in return.

-Skystar was still sore from the event, but he couldn't deny that having Star Flower as an asset would be beneficial to him in the long run. And around this point, his son Thunderstar had disowned him and split off ThunderClan from SkyClan. He felt that he was losing allies, losing family, and he latched on to desperate Star Flower very quickly- as a cat who would never disobey him.

-Skystar takes Star Flower under his wing as his new child, her new ward, instating her as a medic. And because she is loyal to a fault, she won't disobey a new leader so similar to her father. And so, he pushes her to do humiliating things in front of the camp, ranging from general chores like tick baths, to forcing her to run laps around camp with an injury if she took too long to work her magic. He would take out his frustration from gatherings on her and berate her over the most menial things. He would make her withhold her power to help anyone in the clan who had displeased him. And if Star Flower ever tried to stick up for herself, all he had to do was remind her of what she did, how she helped torment his cats by holding a cure over their heads to help out her father.

-This went on for years, Star Flower becoming more and more despondent. One night, there was a particularly stressful gathering, in which Skystar got into a territorial dispute with Thunderstar over a pack of dogs ravaging the territories. He lost the dispute, came home, and immediately took it out on Star Flower, shouting at and attacking the molly for "taking too much food she didn't deserve". And something in Star Flower finally snapped, and for the first time, she didn't save a life- she took one. And another. And another. As many as what remained in Skystar's soul. She was discovered taking his very last life in his nest, while she was wondering if she could pin it on the dogs. She escaped the camp, and wandered the territory for the rest of her life.

-Unfortunately, while she finally won against Skystar in the moment, it was history who decided the victor. Sparrowstar declared that they couldn't let a tragedy like this happen ever again, and doubled down on banishing rogues. Every rogue-born cat was looked at with suspicion from then on, and as the decades began to pass, Star Flower's story became twisted and bent. As the story is told, a rogue had infiltrated SkyClan's camp asking for help, but had manipulated and charmed the leader with her prowess and rose in the ranks just high enough to take him out and attempt to claim his spot. Her story was used as a cautionary tale against rogues, warning cats against those who would infiltrate the camp and rot it from the inside. Eventually, even her true name was lost to time...

Rotten Flower, Warrior of The Dark Forest

Skystar didn't hesitate to throw her in the depth of the Dark Forest when she died. She wears her mask constantly, trying to keep away from the sickness of the muck. She's embraced the false myth made about her, claiming to have killed a founder for power and prestige. But in reality, it's been so long that she's forgotten her family, her power, her name. She barely even remembers Skystar himself. Though she's admired in the Dark Forest for her achievements, she doesn't hang around anyone, and acts hostile to those who approach her.

Perhaps someone can help her remember who she truly is...?

[subtlybrilliant]

The Dark Urge being trapped in the mindflayer pod 🤝 Astarion being entombed

[queensparklekitten]

time princess players how do y'all picture the MCs of every story

like since every set and piece of official art has a different hair colour, length, and style with every picture of them, and sometimes there's descriptions that don't match the images, which one do you go with

and do you make half of them look like your avatar or have your own designs

[ilkkawhat]

no no but really, now that i'm already three drinks in tonight and just feel like sharing, there is just something about the koskela commercials that add to this weird sense of nostalgia when I play aw2, added in with just the general beautiful scenery, listening to the pat maine radio show and hearing filth by national nightmare in that early part of the game...it just makes bright falls feel like home in a way that i never quite expected, esp given that i never played any remedy verse game, let alone alan wake (though like many things i get utterly obsessed with, i was at one time exposed to it i think during the peak of my twin peaks hyperfixation), and to just have that much of a connection to a game i got into literally at the end of november (the 23rd of 2023 to be precise) and maybe it's just because i have been so desperate for an escape and that's what this game gave me and not just that, it has inspired me so much to the point where i'm fucking drawing again--something that i was like traumatically discouraged from at a much too early age--and giffing and making graphics and writing when i swore i never would again...just fuck man. i feel like i have a few "cornerstone" pieces of media that have impacted me on such a highly personal level to the point where they might even change me a little but this....alan wake, remedy-verse, ilkka, all of that is just......something special

[1tsjusty0u]

actually while im at it. flowey undertale. im getting his stupid fanclub pin because unfortunately i am a fan

[babygray]

Something I am watching this season:

Atarashii Joushi wa Dotennen (My New Boss is Goofy)

After the stress of working under an abusive boss caused his health to decline, Kentarou Momose finds a new job and starts working under a new manager, Yuusei Shirosaki, a competent, stoic-looking man who is surprisingly air-headed from time to time. With the support and care of his new coworkers, Kentarou slowly heals from his past trauma and begins to enjoy his work life. Based on the manga by Ichikawa Dan.

This past year, I've seen quite a few shows about guys that escape their abusive, exploitative, stressful jobs. Most of them, unsurprisingly, were isekai fantasies. For example, the titular character of Handyman Saitou in Another World was a competent but severely unappreciated worker who found emotional and professional fulfillment after traveling to a fantasy world and joining an adventurer party as their support thief. And Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead's Akira Tendou was so ground down by his abusive, exploitative workplace, the fact that zombies have taken over Tokyo is nothing compared to the joy of not having to go to work anymore.

These escapist fantasies, where something (like a truck or a zombie horde) helps the downtrodden worker leave their bad situation and puts them in a new, more refreshing place, are enjoyable, but these characters are pushed into freedom by an unknowable, uncontrollable, and ultimately unreal force.

My New Boss is Goofy's Momose doesn't escape his abusive workplace because an outside force pushed him to do so. After one last straw of abuse broke him and one inspirational advertisement sparked something inside him, he took the first steps needed to leave that job and search for something better for himself.

This was incredibly brave of him. But the story makes it very clear that the abuse he went through left a lot of trauma that will take time to overcome, not to mention the stomach ulcers. His new coworkers are kind, considerate people, ready to support him in any way they can, and they're not alone. At least once per episode, we see how strangers react to Momose and Shirosaki's interactions, both the goofy moments and the heartbreaking ones.

At least once, a complete stranger was pulled in to the point where he helps Momose avoid a dangerous situation. At least once, Momose's interactions with Shirosaki helped someone else escape their own abusive workplace.

Despite how we might feel, we're not alone, and we don't have to deal with life's struggles on our own. We are surrounded by people willing to help and that we can help in turn.

Momose has people that care about him, and watching him slowly recover from the physical and mental damage he endured fills my heart with gentle warmth. It's a funny, fluffy slice-of-life story that leaves me feeling relaxed and happy.

[mumblesplash]

ok mostly just getting this out of my head i think the reason i like stampede vashwood as much as i do despite not being much of a shipper in general is it resembles a dynamic i theoretically love but have never actually seen—where one character (A) is pining over a character (B) they know feels the same way about them.

because see for A these feelings are uncharted territory, a type of connection they’ve never formed before and maybe fear they never will again. even getting to the point where they admit their feelings to themself is like pulling teeth, but it’s something special to them.

meanwhile, character B has no reservations about their own feelings at all. they could give the most heartfelt declaration of love and mean every word of it as easy as breathing. they’ve loved A from the start and always will.

but in a sense, A’s feelings are unrequited anyway—the affection the two have for each other is equal, but it’s because B cares that much about everyone. it doesn’t matter if their feelings for A are romantic, deep down they probably don’t even know how to tell the difference between that and being whatever anyone wants them to be. and A knows this, so A can’t tell them what they want

ideally, this seemingly infinite capacity for compassion and love is part of what drew A to B in the first place (it at least can’t be something A resents or sees as unfair to them personally, that would miss the whole point). also ideally character B represents some sort of hope for a future A thought was impossible, escape from a dark past or a chance to become something better than they feel they are, but it’s a chance they can’t take without losing them

also also, this dynamic is angst-only. if they’re healthy enough to talk through their feelings and actually end up together they’re disqualified. it takes two specific types of disaster character for this to work properly, and any way it plays out will end up with everything falling apart horribly.

and like if i’m being honest here it’s barely even romantic. they probably never even get around to kissing and if they do they’re both convinced the other one doesn’t really mean it

[derpinette]

memory: when i was a toddler OMW back home with my mother on one of those intercity travel buses when we suddenly heard women screaming only for me to look down & see dozens upon dozens of cockroaches running up my legs & under my dress

[goth-automaton]

Damn, I'd love to replay ">observer_", this game fucks... But the sole thought of going through the stealth sections once again makes me want to yeet my laptop through the balcony. :)

[lovingherwasgay]

I'm sorry RYAN MURPHY ???!??? PRINCE???????!!?!!!!!

[junkie-virus]

OUGHHHHHH I LOVR PLANTS VS ZOMBIES I LOVE KINGDOM RUSH I LOVE BATTLEBLOCK THEATER I LOVE CASTLE CRASHERS !!!!!!!! I LOVE VIDEO GAMES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[missneko-otaku]

CURRENTLY PLAYING

[moretoastedside]

Hehehehehehe I started writing a Dark Escape fanfic >:3c My goal is to make the game popular by any means and I WILL make it, mark my words!!!