#Please I feel like I’m going crazy /hj but to make it worse I feel like I’ve lived out something bad already and don’t want to

[astral-catastrophe]

One thing I’ve never been able to explain is the intense Deja Vu that hits me. Sometimes I’ll go months without this. On bad days. Hours, minutes. I wonder if it’s a part of my dissociation issues.

But be it in a dream or my past. I have lived this exact moment i just had. Same outfit, same hair, glasses smudged the same, object in hand, music in earbuds. Same train of thought, feeling something of importance with one of my current best friends. Something of so much importance, the results of me forgetting again will be catastrophic.

But no? Last time I had this specific instance, I didn’t have this shirt, or even similar hair. I wasn’t even close to this friend. But it was the exact same feeling, same time of year. I can place it nearly down to the day three years ago when my thoughts went along the same path and I feel like I have lived this moment dozens of times.

Or yesterday's experience at work? Hit me so hard in the middle of making a drink I had never heard of before in my whole almost two months of being a barista. But I stood there, almost nauseous, but I knew the drink. I’d never heard of it. But I checked with the recipe and I had everything correct down to the slightest detail. I had no prior knowledge of the drink, especially since it was some complicated seasonal thing.

Or years ago, one of my first actual conversations with the almost girlfriend. Had to step away mid sentence because I was so convinced that no, we had that conversation just days earlier down to the exact word, down to that exact same dorky smile she’s given me since day one.

[leemotionalwreck]

Thoughts on Illusion

Finally getting around to watching illusion!! here we go y’all (this time longer and in more agonizing detail!):

- the way I strongly dislike Bob Roth...

- okay i have pretty mixed feelings on chloe’s character but like… does paris not remember what she did?? hello continuity?! /hj

- omg alec hiiiiii

- LMAO the “my son” slip up is wonderful

- lol plagg leave him alone the boy is quite literally traumatized and the ring isn’t helping

- i swear to god i’ll never get used to seeing this bitch in the kitchen.

- “are you sure you’re feeling okay?” no like actually tho he isn’t. run.

- a single stain warranting almost smashing the pan on the ground is kinda crazy but ok ig

- wait how did nothing fall outta the pan??

- of course he doesn’t know how long to boil an egg off the top of his head. of fricking course

- STOP WINKING AT HIM GABRIEL!! you haven’t earned the right

- oooo i like the split screen

- oh wait it took me a second to notice the thought bubbles lol

- NINO!! i missed my boy

- post graduation?? what year are they exactly? or am i missing something??

- all in favor of joining nino’s resistance say “I”

- LMAO comrade mayo?? that’s actually not too far from something i’ve said to my white friends irl lol

- rvejndjdb adrinette is so adorable bro

- nino please babe it’s just lunch

- y’know, sometimes i forget just how chaotic their group can be. then i see scenes like this and remember. it’s pretty realistic tho imo

- also nino definitely has a bruise lol

- frickin lila man.

- “Are yOu EatInG In thE cafEtERia?” tf does it look like??

- the way marinette is such a real one

- what on earth is actually wrong with lila lol i’ve never hated an animated character as much as her. aside from maybe gabriel

- wait no the yogurt/honey example was actually really good lol

- lol comrade ketchup

- also comrade beurre maître d’hôtel is so extra and for what?? love nino tho

- NO STOP SHE’S SO SICK

- also are they just letting ppl in the school?? slay ig

- adrien 😭😭

- oooooooo lila’s lil snitch ass… i mean it makes sense but jeez

- pls i forgot she was pregnant lmao

- ew he looks weird when he’s trying to be a decent person /hj

- okay i love them but they coulda been a little more discreet than pizza lol

- they’re just standing outside the window like?? 😭😭

- idk why but the piece of pepperoni stuck to gabriel’s shirt is killing me

- ADRIEN YOU COULDN’T EVEN PRETEND TO TRIP?? please be so fr

- okay no cause this time around gabriel actually reacts and adrien really seems sorry and uhhrhdhdhdh i. hate. this. man.

- pls the way alya just walks in and is like “yea no you guys already know the deal let’s just get this over with” what a queen

- nino PLEASE

- okay i’m kinda cringing rn but it’s totally fine

- again, the way adrien seems genuinely scared…

- goddamnit

- “call me father” actually go trip down the stairs

- NO STOP IT THIS MAN IS ACTUALLY A PIECE OF SHIT I CANNOT

- ok five at once is honestly extra. like i hope this asshole remember he’s a whole grown man doing all this to fight some kids. yes i know it’s more than that technically but still. weirdo.

- lol his ears look so stupid when they’re sticking off the sides of the mask

- the way marinette/ladybug is actually that girl

- see no he’s such a fake bitch cause falling wasn’t even necessary

- nino is such a detective i literally love him. i mean yea he’s wrong but still

- he looks like such a dumbass with that stain on his shirt. i hate him.

- “comrade tartar sauce” nino yes absolutely but he really doesn’t deserve it bae

- i really like the design on alya’s fanny pack but i’ve literally never noticed it before

- they’re all so cute lol

- “comrade sweet and sour” i wonder why she has that name…

Final thoughts: okay it took me a sec to realize this was out of order (i know people have been saying it. im just stupid lol) but i really enjoyed it overall. gabriel keeps getting worse yet sadly never surprises me with the depths he stoops to. adrien needs so much help rn and i really hate lila but im almost glad she’s back?? like i missed this rivalry between her and marinette in a way.

[cdroloisms]

originally i just wanted dream to recover, preferably in the syndicate. but after today's quackity lore? he deserves to fuck shit up for a bit. let him get his revenge. tommy got his revenge on dream, techno got his revenge on l'manberg, dream deserves to get revenge on quackity and sam! then he can recover after that lol

(context: ask was sent on march 16th and i am very. very late.)

but YEAH !! logic brain says revenge bad and cycle of violence will continue BUT emotion brain wants c!dream to go crazy go stupid !! go beat them up honey we’ll be here with juice boxes and fruit snacks when you’re done <3 

i wrote this while looping casino royale by derivakat for (checks time) something like 12 hours straight so uhh,,, yeah LMAO have some of c!dream going apeshit bc honestly he deserves it (/hj)

tw: implied torture, abuse, mentioned injuries, suicide, murder, explosions, death, violence, dark portrayals of c!dream, c!quackity, and c!sam, emotional distress, prison arc, pandora’s vault

Sam is uneasy long before he enters Las Nevadas - Quackity’s terse, serious-sounding string of texts he’d woken up to had sent his heart racing before the country even came into sight, and he’s pretty sure the pit in the middle of his gut since Dream escaped a week ago won’t disappear until the prisoner is either jailed or dead at his feet. Still, the city hardly does his anxiety any favors - each step within its limits feels a bit more like walking to his own death, the silent storefronts and looming, boarded up casino seeming to watch his every move, making him pick up his pace to move a little faster and avoid their judging gazes.

Stuck in his head as he is, it’s not until he’s halfway to the meeting place that he realizes how eerily quiet the place is - Las Nevadas has yet to be a particularly busy country with the casino yet to open and their recruits usually doing their own thing in the meantime, but still there’s usually at least one of them lingering on the city grounds, between Fundy’s work on his yacht and Foolish’s construction and whatever Slime does, usually involving an immense amount of following Quackity’s every move. The city as it right now feels much more like when it had been no more than a secret of his and Quackity, months spent with just the two of them working to make Big Q’s vision a reality. There’s something uniquely unnerving about it, like stepping into a ghost town, and Sam’s unease only grows.

“Sam!” Quackity calls from the base of the casino - Sam shades his eyes from the sun as he jogs over. Even from this far, it’s clear Q is displeased - his lips are flat in a small frown, skin taut from where the corner of his mouth is pulling at his scar. His tie is slightly askew and shirt rumpled - he looks disheveled, eyebrows narrowed irritatedly as he taps at something on his communicator. Sam smiles slightly, hollow.

“Hello Quackity,” he responds simply, drawing his trident and bringing it to his side. “You said we needed to meet?”

“Yeah,” Quackity’s voice is distracted, and he mumbles a curse as he jams his finger particularly hard against the communicator screen. “What is up with everyone today? They sent me these- weird fucking messages  and then we get here and nobody’s here-”

“Who?” Sam’s lips press together. “You mean like- Fundy? Or Foolish?” They seem to be the ones that Quackity got messages from most frequently, if he remembers right. He doesn’t know for sure - usually, Quackity handles the social side of managing Las Nevadas.

“Fundy, Purpled, Foolish, Slime-” Quackity makes a vague, affronted noise. “All of them! Where the hell are they?”

Sam pauses.

“Q, when did Slime learn to use a communicator?”

“That’s the green one, right?” Both of them freeze, whirling around to the voice behind them, seeing nothing but the empty, arched doorway of the still-locked casino. “Naïve. Easy to fool.” The voice pauses, barks a sharp, quiet laugh. “Made my job easy, at least.”

The voice is familiar- too familiar. Sam doesn’t think he’ll ever get that cadence out of his head, not after months after months spent in the prison, hearing it in every possible tone and form. Quackity’s shoulders are hunched up to his ears, teeth bared in a snarl.

“Dream- I fucking swear- where the hell are you?”

“Aw, not so brave when the other person can actually fight back, are we?” Dream’s voice is lilting, mocking, and Sam’s hands tighten on the trident. “Fine, I’ll show myself. I’m not like you- no need to extend this game any longer than necessary.”

Dream slinks out from the shadows, wearing all black and covered in netherite armor, seeming fiddling with a small, grey thing in one hand. HIs stance is wide, torso pulled close to the ground - instead of a mask, his outfit includes a hooded black cloak that pulls down over his face, barely offering a glimpse of his eye glaring from underneath it.

“I’m giving you three seconds to tell me why the hell you’re in my country,” Quackity growls, sword forming in his hand, blade still crusted over with old blood, “And I’ll make your death half as painful as it’ll be otherwise.”

Dream laughs, high-pitched and unstable. “Please- what are you gonna do with that thing?” Quackity stalks forward with a low, wordless yell and Sam only barely manages to snag him back by the wrist.

“Watch it, Q,” Sam mutters, looking closer. Sure enough, there’s a faint, reddish haze rising from Dream’s body, only barely visible, interspersed with some lighter blue wisps. Strength and Speed. “He’s got potions.”

“Outmatched, aren’t we?” Dream cocks his head to the side, a tight-lipped smile visible under the hood’s shadow. “What a shame. I was hoping for a good fight.”

Quackity curses at him, loudly, but mullishly stays in place instead of lashing out like earlier, and Sam hisses a small sigh of relief. He looks back over at Dream - under the sun, he looks worse than ever, armor doing little to hide the gaunt edge of his face, limbs skinny and shaking. His hands tremble, wrists kept close together, as he continues to move the thing within them from hand to hand, small and grey and smooth from what he can tell in flashes between scarred and calloused fingers. He’s still favoring his left side slightly, but his eyes are cold and clear as they follow his every movement, clearly lucid and intelligent. Unfortunately for them, Dream is the best of fighters at the worst of times, and he has no doubt that with potions on his side and themselves relatively unprepared for battle, any fight with him won’t go particularly well.

Negotiation it is, then. “Why are you here, Dream?” If they stall long enough, then the rest of the server can come to back them up, and then even Dream won’t be able to fight back for long. He and Quackity can figure out what to do with him once he’s safely back under their control - for now, they have to play things safe. He pulls out his communicator carefully with one hand, trying to avoid drawing attention to his movements. “I doubt you’re here for a housewarming visit.”

Dream waves his hand slightly. “Something like that-” he bares his teeth in a small smile. “How about a housewarming gift, instead?”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Quackity bites, aggressive in a way that speaks of how threatened he feels, and the pit in Sam’s stomach only grows. Dream’s eye seems to glow as he turns and presses his hands to the nearby wall; when he pulls them back, there’s a stone button fastened on the quartz.

“Say, Quackity,” Dream’s voice is too light to be anything but forced levity, rolling his shoulders back to try and hide the way his entire body has begun to shake even more violently than before. “How much TNT do you suppose it took for Wilbur to blow up L’manburg?”

Sam gasps, low and harsh through his teeth, a quiet, breathless no falling from his lips. Quackity’s head shakes, eyes widening in fury and denial.

“No- no what the fuck did you do- Dream what the absolute fuck did you do-”

“Eleven stacks of TNT, to blow up that country to kingdom come.” Dream laughs, directing his wild, manic expression to look them in the eye. “The amount of TNT hooked up to this thing is ten times that.”

“You’re a liar-” Quackity rushes forward, sword raised, “I’m going to fucking kill you-”

Sam grabs him, again, ignoring his yells to look at Dream, who’s still standing, seemingly unruffled, one hand hovering over the button that’ll spell doom for them all.

“That’ll kill all of us,” he tries to reason, panic clawing up his lungs, “You’re on your last life. You can’t-”

“And what, Warden, makes you think I give a single goddamn fuck about that?” Dream’s voice cracks, slightly, and for a moment Sam almost thinks he’ll break, that he can press the point until the other backs down - but Dream is nothing if not stubborn, and within seconds he’s composed himself again, looking at them with a determined set to his jaw that Sam recognizes well enough from Quackity’s visits to know that he won’t back down. “Everyone else is far away from here. I made sure of that. It’s just you, and Quackity, and me, and I’m pressing this button if it’s the last thing I do. Call it a parting shot, will you?”

Sam pulls at Quackity, wrist still locked in his grip. “Q, we have to leave.”

“I’m not letting him destroy this place Sam, are you out of your fucking mind? This- Las Nevadas- it’s everything- I’m not letting him take this place from me not again-”

“He’s going to kill us all, Quackity,” he throws a water bucket at his feet, charging up his trident. The sign taunts him at the edges of the city borders, far too far away for any of them to even hope to reach. “We have to go now-”

“Say your goodbyes,” Dream taunts, and there’s a quiet click. Sam smells the faint, smoky smell of redstone being activated, hears a hum growing in volume from the ground beneath him. He looks over to Dream, who has a hand pressing the button to the wall, fever-bright eyes wide and wet as he stares at his own hand before shutting them with a soft, almost serene smile. “And see you in hell.”

The world goes white.

[Dream was blown up by Dream.]

[Quackity was blown up by Dream.]

[awesamdude was blown up by Dream.]

[the-acid-pear]

Scarface was too fucking boring, didn't make it past chapter 3, but that's good, because that means Baki-Dou time 😍

Time to read the fourth book in this series! Excited to see Musashi <3

Chapter 1

COLORS

Baki please stop flexing

A FELLA SAYING THE SAME I SAID WHEN YUJIRO PULLED HIS SOB STORY, FR GO TRY SOMETHING ELSE! What happened with that whole "i don't care about fighting" eh Baki?!

Chapter 2

HOHO ALI JR???

ah no :/

HOLY FUCK is this quality bad!

He wants to taste defeat i see

TOKUGAWA PLEASE STOP SMOKING

Oh they removed the... Egg in the back of the neck, nice

God this guy's tits so fat 🥵

FINALLYYY HOW LONG SINCE WE SAW A FIGHT IN THE ARENA? A PROPER FIGHT I MEAN

Chapter 3

He doesn't even know 🐍

DON'T BRING THAT FELLA HERE RETSU KICKED HIS ASS IN TIME. RECORD

Oh i saw fanart of this scene

Baki, it's your fault that you are bored, you fucking teen

This shit boring ME

Chapter 4

Oh, goroukou is a title

I like how the prime minister is becoming a recurrent character

I thought he said babe for a sec-

That little "oh~" is a bit sus, are the old men... No, it can't be 😳😳😳

I'm fucking choking fuck

GOD ALMOST READ THAT AS JOHN CENA 😭

"yes <3"

These ppl never learn

Chapter 5

What a way to go, a la gamzee /j

This dude so weird lmao

FAHDGAHDH king

Dude he has huge round eyes tf you talking bout?

IGDUFSUEASEUURSS he's such a freakkk 😭😭😭

This is the most wtf thing Baki has pulled, remember when this was about fighters fighting? I don't know enough about science for this shit either man

Okay so their hug wasn't Tokugawa being touchy like he is, this guy is even worse, se juntaron el hambre y las ganas de comer HSHAFSFG

Chapter 6

Baki's dead

Katsumi about to kill get killed by my grandpa i see

ALSO KATSUMI OG HAIR WOOO

Katsumi bro don't be so happy over nearly killing him-

I love seeing him get better tho

Uwaadgsgsjdga 😍😳🤤 twisting my hair irl,,, 🥴

Finally Motobe remembered he was a character here 😐

FSGSHDAHDA KOSHO PLS

I LOVE that they got dark lips again

IM SORRY GOUKI HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYONE?! LTDKFsjyrd 😭

Jack's scar looks cool ngl

Retsu living the good life lmao

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW, GRANDPA?

Hana just doesn't care, smartest Baki character lmao

Idk what they talking bout but good for em <3

Cum basement

Chapter 7

SHOW US MUSASHI'S COCK

Obsessed he thought his heart was failing 😭

Dude you can just hear the heart beat of your friends/opponents just like that? 🤨

Notice Gaia in the top left 🥴

WHY CAN HE RECOGNIZE EACH OF THEIR HEARTBEATS AAHSGA

Thick 🥵

Unironically built different

Chronic back pain if you ask me, that's how I stand to relieve my agony

Did. Did you just call him a femb-

STOP SHOWING ME PANELS FROM VAGAMOND

I love John sm lmao

Mr Musashi has 2 (3?) dads

Chapter 8

HAIRY LEGS 🥴

Those things look like boobs

Bet you would know eh SHAFADB

They jerked off the mummy?

Reminds me of eye surgery

AFjshAFDGAJAHAF

Mf came out the tube ripped af 😭

Chapter 9

Everyone is so feminine lately good ol Kureha fell behind 😭

I like his bandana tho it's cute

OH HE TOO? AND HE'S NOT EVEN THAT STRONG

Fat tits 🥴

Eheojeudkshs 😖😳👉👈

JACK STOP YOU ARE BIG ENOUGH ALREADY

HOLY FUCK

You know like i understand Baki, he is at the highest he can be rn, NO ONE can defeat him, but the rest? Like c'mon y'all just beat each other up or something

Ah, the miracle of birth 😍

Chapter 10

I love how all these two do is hang out together in bars, boybosses

TF IS UP WITH THAT ICE? AHDHS

I love what they have

Hana thinking of getting his 4 limbs broken again i see

WOOO!! Nice cock Mr Musashi 😳

HANAYAMA PLEASE 😐

Chapter 11

I love those freaks

I just now I'm seeing the little scars on his cheeks from the fight with Spec ☺️

I love the fact that Musashi has hair in his legs BUT not his arms like ??? Okay king

Heated scientist moment

HOHO POGGERS 👀

Chapter 12

UTSURAARSDFAFA sibling goals

GIRLBOSS 😍

URAURUSYRSAESGA IN LOVE???

Holy shit she's amazing

Chapter 13

And his ass is very thick too 😳

Those fucking sunglasses, obsessed

Debatable, he got struck by lightning :/

HE WAXES HIS HAIR? OMFG OBSESSED

WHY IS HE WEARING THAT LMAO 😭

Nooo they censored the cock again 😔😔😔

DO IT QWEEN 💅

STOP SAYING SHE'S GONNA FUCK THE CLONE

"I'm exciteddddd" "ok."

Chapter 14

You just hate seeing a girlboss win

She truly is amaizing

Also i just realized spirits have been showing up since the first book so this isn't so crazy lol

MF HOW IS THAT GONNA HELP 😭😭😭

THE LITTLE BUBBLES AND SPARKLES... I BET HE DID 🥺

Chapter 15

WHY ARE HIS TITS SO ROUND AND FAT GODDAMN IT,,, 😳😖

Glad seeing some things never change

He looks so much like Jun

IGSITSURAURZES EPICCC

Someone question if Yujiro knew how too write obsessed,,,

Chapter 16

Goddamn it you got even older in the past 3 or so chapters bro

Mouth to mouth soul transference

OHHH

HIS EYEBROWS FELL HOW IGDUTSITDIYDIGD

Some mf got turned on by this HELP 😭

Chapter 17

I love how Yujiro and Hana are still getting ready to throw hands while this happens lol

Okay yeah that was super disrespectful honestly, guy is having a chat :/

HAHAGSJAHA obsessed

God i thought it was Hana the one grabbing some random lady for a second AFDJSJSSJS

He cute af ngl

POOR GUY MUST BE SO CONFUSED OMFG,,,

Fsr I'm surprised he can talk, like it should be obvious but in all the fanart i saw he never said a word, also, he's so damn respectful 😍

Chapter 18

Idk he was never that clever /hj

Hehehe blood

I love how John can only sit that way

The size of his balls lmao

Coward won't even fight with his dick out smh :/

God he mad cute-

Chapter 19

I MISS THE DEATH ROW FELLAS FUCKKK

Hm i think this random tiny bald man is not Tokugawa but someone that looks awfully similar to him

YEAH NO SHIT I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM, HE MUST BE SO DAMN OVERWHELMED

Apparently there was a cameo, i don't know enough about anime to know or care

Chapter 20

He's tripping balls

Tokugawa should have gone a bit slower with this poor guy, this is like a lot to process at once <:/

Nvm he's doing better than me

Oydirsusefs look at himmm

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND OMFG DIDN'T DOPPO FIGHT THIS GUY?!

SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNIZED HIM HE ISSS

Chapter 21

OHDIRAYEASURRSUURS HE DOESN'T KNOWWW FFS

Musashi be like °_°

LOOK AT THAT SMILE LMAO

He's just chilling, mentally killing this dude

Murder baby

Chapter 21

The way his eyes are drawn is so cool

YRAURSUFSIDTGA

And he jokes too! Wow I'm in love 😍

(nsfw) CAN YOU HANDLE DICK LIKE THAT TOO? 😍

WOW

I TAKE BACK THAT QUESTION

I remember a show where you would bring your own knives and swords and go thru a bunch of test, Musashi should have been one of them

Mf truly is like :]

I love how he didn't buy it

I can't wait for him to fight Yujiro 😍

Chapter 23

He truly is 😌

ATFJAIDQYSF OBSESSED

He was happy this time at least, 5 times he lost already btw

Tokugawa truly in unhateable lmao

Chapter 24

IM SORRY, HIS LEG???

Oh I forgot Musashi does that

JAGSKSGSKSGS HIS FUCKING FACE I CAN'T 😭

I miss when translators would add notes i don't want to google shit myself :/

"I'm hard as rock" /j

Chapter 25

Look how happy he issss

MUSASHI POG MUSASHI POG-

I love how Tokugawa can't believe he got it first try and it's trying to lie now sjdakdyv

This mf is actually making me insane what the actual fuck i don't know what he has but he's gonna make me act up 😳

Mf be shadow boxing too dammit /j

Baki please

Chapter 26

OLD MAN JUST WANTS A PUBLIC TO SEE THIS LMAO

Look at the size of Baki's eyes holy fuck lmao

He's gonna yeet him!

OH NOOOO

FIRST HIS DAD NOW MUSASHI, THIS GUY CANT CATCH A BREAK LMAO

Chapter 27

How little time passed? They have barely moved

Yeah you did it last book too Baki

King shit

Chapter 28

AKSGSKGSJSGS KING

I love how he only now realized

Okay no he has a point

I love how he just calls him boy

Look at that smug face

I trust Musashi but at the same time he, really should be walking around this new world alone. Now, if i were to accompany him... 🥴/j

Baki please

Chapter 29

I love how soft the artstyle suddenly got, like if done big a big brush

Yujiro you just insulted every single anime character in history

Baby Baki's just like "Ok."

I like how Yujiro looks here

AUGHHJF HE'S SO BABY 🥺

HOHO badass

Chapter 30

He died 😔

Idiot hasn't even beat he 0.5 reaction seconds lmao 🤣

HOHOOOOO?!? 👁️👁️

"my curiosity exceed my fear!!" I RESPECT THIS MAN SO MUCH??

Chapter 31

AMAIZING HONESTLY

Fighter to fighter communication

SHIT LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT HAND

He's just gone now LMAO

I honestly don't mind Baki being weak against this, he never fought against a two handed swordman, this is new territory

Chapter 32

Oh his really tripping balls now this is why he shouldn't be alone

NVM HE'S STILL DOING BETTER THAN ME ON A DAILY BASIS, I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN FROM THIS MAN

I just now realized he's barefoot

Nice ass king

The policemen are quite nice

He's very cooperative but i can't blame the cops either

Chapter 33

Yeah no shit that must be so insane

IF YOU HADN'T DROPPED OFF SCHOOL THEN...

That's kinda funny but idk man he's right i think

He's just like :3

I love how he isn't picking up a fight out of malice but rather just instinct like, he can't understand shit that is going on

YOU ARE SO RIGHT BAKI IT ISN'T BORING FOR ME EITHER

Chapter 34

Don't you fucking dare shave him Itagaki

It's funny how it took 2 books and a half for Baki to start being a protagonist

Holy fuck did Baki add height or is Miyamoto that big?

Wow how perfect i ran out of space just now!! Having fun with this book ngl :]

[hamiltonimagines]

Everything Will Be Okay

Pairing: Lin x Reader

Request: “Hi! I'm in need of some LMM love pretty please 🥺 where he and the reader are together, and her mother is sick and in the hospital very suddenly. She calls Lin from the hospital and he rushes to her side and he comforts her and spends the night with her in the waiting room just cuddling her and trying to keep her distracted and making her smile. Just some fluffy comfort if you can/want, please and thank you much!!” - @stelle-tenere

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Very vivid description of having a loved on in the hospital. Multiple descriptions of panic

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was 4pm. I realized that I should probably start getting ready for my date. Lin and I had been dating for about four months and we had a date tonight.

I got up from my couch and walked into my room to find an outfit to wear. I was standing, looking at all my clothes, when I heard my phone start ringing.

I didn’t know who would be calling me, so I walked over to my phone. I saw an unknown number. I wasn’t expecting a call, but I picked it up.

“Hello?” I answered the phone. “Hello is this Y/N?” The woman on the other end asked. I sighed to myself, it was probably another one of those fake phone calls, where they tried to get your credit card information.

“Yes it is” I replied, simply. “This is the New York General Hospital, your mother was just admitted to the hospital. She had a bad fall, and she’s currently in surgery” the woman told me.

I could feel my heart drop. I could feel my whole body fill up with panic. I had a million questions racing through my mind. I had a pit in my stomach and I couldn’t get rid of it. I didn’t even notice that I hadn’t responded.

“Ma’am, are you still there?” The woman asked. “Yes, I’m sorry. I will be right there” I said, hanging up the phone and grabbing my keys. I raced to the hospital, faster than I’d ever gone anywhere before.

The whole ride there, the only thing I could think of was my poor mother, laying on the floor, hurt. I couldn’t bare to think about how scared she must have been, waiting for the ambulance.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and raced inside. I ran up to the front desk. “Hi, my name is Y/N. You called me because my mother had a fall. You said she was in surgery” I told the woman at the front desk.

“Ahh yes, your mother is in room 742. It’s the first door on the right, down that hallway. She might not be awake from surgery yet” she told me. “Okay thank you” I said, and walked to the room as quickly as my legs would carry me.

I walked in and saw my mother, still asleep. It broke my heart into a million pieces. She looked so fragile, and she had so many wires attached to her.

I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. Then, I felt my phone start buzzing. I saw that Lin was calling me. I stepped into the hallway and answered it, I needed a distraction.

“Hey Y/N? Where are you? Is everything okay? You were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago, I’ve been texting you” he told me. “Hi Lin, everything’s fine. I’m at the hospital” I told him. “Wait, the hospital? Are you hurt?” He asked me, his voice laced with concern.

“No, it’s just my mom. She had a fall. I have to be here with her, I can’t come tonight” I told him. “No, I get it. You have to be with your mom. What hospital are you at?” He asked me. “New York General” I told him, not even thinking about it. “Okay, well I’ll let you get back” he told me. We both said goodbye and I hung up.

I glanced back in the room and saw that my mother was still asleep. I decided to call my siblings and let them know what happened. I was the only one in New York, so there’s no they could come.

I finished making my calls and I walked back into the hospital room. I sat down in the chair next to my mom’s bed. I looked down at my hands, I couldn't do anything, but think of the worst case scenario.

I could feel the tears start streaming down my face. I grabbed a tissue and started to wipe them away. Then, I looked up and saw Lin standing in the doorway.

I stood up and ran over to him. He pulled me right into his arms. He felt warm and his embrace was comforting. He rocked me back and forth as I quietly cried in his arms. “Shhh shhh everything will be okay” he whispered to me.

“She must be in so much pain, I just want to take all of it. I would take away all her pain, if it just meant she would be better” I told him, trying to stop crying. “Well you can’t do that. But what you can do is love her and be here for her. And I know that she knows how much you love her” he told me, kissing my temple.

“I just feel so useless, she’s just laying there and I can’t do anything to help her get better” I confessed. “Do you need me to do anything?” He asked me. “Can you stay here? I need to go find a nurse and see how my mom’s surgery went. Can you come find me if she wakes up?” I asked him. “Of course” he said, giving my hand a a reassuring squeeze, before I walked away.

I walked down the hallway and back for the front desk. “Hi, I was just wondering if you knew how my mom's surgery went?” I asked her. “One second, let me check the file” the woman said. She looked through a folder and looked back up at me. “Her surgery went well. She had a large cut on her leg and they stitched it up. She has a prescription for the pain, but she should be able to leave tomorrow” the woman told me. “Okay thank you so much, you’ve been really helpful” I thanked her.

I walked back to my mom’s room and saw Lin walking toward me. “What’s wrong?” I asked panicking. “Nothing’s wrong, she just woke up. The nurse said she might be a little groggy” he told me. I could feel my whole demeanor change. I felt so relieved that I could finally talk to her and see what she needed.

I walked in and her eyes lit up when she saw me. I sat down next to her and we talked. She said she didn’t anything. Then the nurse gave her some medicine to help her sleep. The nurse said it would help her heal faster.

I grabbed a magazine off her bedside table and started to read it. Lin peaked his head in and saw that she was asleep. He quietly walked over next to me and sat in the other chair.

He set his hand on my thigh, and he started to draw little shapes absentmindedly. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around my shoulders. I continued to read the magazine, mostly as a way to focus on something else.

I started to feel a little tired, but I knew I had to stay up, in case anything happened. “Are you tired? You could go take a nap in my car if you want, I’ll stay” Lin suggested. “No, I need to stay awake. Let’s go get some coffee” I said, standing up. “Okay” he said nodding.

He interlaced our fingers and we walked to the cafeteria. It was taking all of my will power to not burst into tears.

I didn’t say a word to Lin, the whole way to the cafeteria. I had too much on my mind. “So how are you holding up?” He asked me, as I poured the coffee into my cup. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like I’m going to fall apart every time I look at her. And I know she got lucky and it could of been much worse, but it’s mind-numbingly terrifying” I told him, honestly. “Listen, you would be crazy if you felt fine. But I’m here for you and I will do anything you need. And I’m also here to tell you that everything will be okay” he told me, putting his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek.

“Did you know that Hawaii is the only state in the US that grows coffee” Lin said, trying to distract me. “I know what you’re doing” I told him, and looking up at him. He had a dumb smile on his face.

“Thank you, for trying to distract me” I said, as we started to walk back to her room. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always be here for you” he assured me.

We got back to the room and sat back down. Lin draped his jacket across his lap and used it as a blanket. He slowly started to doze off. I picked the magazine back up and started to read it.

Before I knew it, I was yawning and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I stood up and started pacing around the room, trying to stay awake.

Then, Lin stirred in his seat. “What time is it?” He asked me. I checked my watch. “Almost three in the morning” I answered. “Have you slept yet?” He asked me, concerned. “No, I’m fine. I have to stay awake” I told him. “I’ll stay awake for you, if that’ll make you feel better” Lin suggested.

“Okay fine, I’ll sleep for a little bit. But you have to wake me up if anything happens” I told him. “I promise, now come get some sleep” Lin told me. I walked over to my seat and laid my head down in his lap. I was finally able to relax. He stroked my hair, until I feel asleep.

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[chaotically-cas]

29 Things I Think Allistic People Need To Hear

From an autistic person

Not my usual content but I felt it needed to be said.

Saying “everyone is a little autistic” is really hurtful. Yes, everyone has their struggles but these struggles are far different for autistic people. Saying everyone experiences it is invalidating & harmful.

Being graded on eye contact & standing still is wrong. I’m pretty sure at one point or another we’ve had a project we were graded on & one of the grades was eye contact & not fidgeting. These things are extremely hard for autistic people & they are practically second nature. It’s like holding in a sneeze.

Stim & figget toys in schools. Of course fidget spinner’s & stim cubes can be bought & should be bought by anyone. If you want one, get one. But the way schools are banning them is crazy. They are very necessary for autistic people & it’s so much harder for them when schools ban their use.

QUITTTTT BABYING US!! We aren’t ‘uwu babies’. We are humans. We are perfectly capable of functioning without allistic people’s pity & looking down on us. We are our own people that don’t need a hand to hold in every damn situation. We aren’t cute because of it. 

Listen to autistic people. Everyone is all for advocating for people until that group of people want to advocate for themselves. So shut up & listen once & maybe you can learn something you didn’t know.

Creative writing in class is difficult. You don’t know how many bad grades I’ve gotten on because I can’t think of a good story out of my ass. It’s extremely hard for autistic people. Please give us a prompt it’s more helpful than you know.

Role playing in class. I think we’ve all had to do something where we research a famous person & have to assume their identity. This is again, so hard for autistic people. It’s hard enough for us to be ourselves. Most of us can’t understand these actives enough.

Slurs. Quit saying retard. It’s not an insult. It’s not funny. It’s offensive & every time you use it you’re hurting a disabled person & spreading harmful stereotypes. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a bad word. It’s a slur. Same as the f word or any other slur. Don’t use it.

People talking over us. No I dont mean just in conversations. Although that is another issue. I mean organizations like autism speaks that put words into autistic peoples mouths instead of letting them speak for themselves.

Stop making fun of our special interests. Whether you find anime cringey or think an adult loving Aladdin is childish just stop it. These things being extreme joy to us. They make us happy in a word that we don’t understand. So just leave us alone & let us be happy.

Don’t stare at us if we’re stimming. Especially in public. If you see me flapping my hands. Don’t stare. If you hear me humming quietly, don’t judge. These activities aren’t for your viewing pleasure. They’re for autistic people to regulate & express how they’re feeling.

Normalizing ableism. It’s so normalized. Whether it’s phrased like “suffers from autism” or how regularly ‘retard’ is used in classe; ableism is so often over looked especially by adults. There are no many micro aggressions they are just passed off as us not having a thick enough skin. When in reality it’s really damaging.

People first language. If you ever correct someone by saying “no, they’re a PERSON with autism. Not an autistic person”. Literally shut up. We’re autistic. We’re people. Being autistic doesn’t make us any less human so you don’t need to make it seem like it does. We’re still human no matter our disably. People don’t have to be reminded of this.

Using words like psychopath & sociopath. Calling autistic people these things just because you don’t understand us is disgusting. If you don’t understand these terms don’t use them. Just because we aren’t good at showing empathy in some cases doesn’t make us ‘psychopaths’.

Tone indicators. This is both the over use & not using them that’s an issue. Saying things like “/j /hj /sarcasm /srs /lh” all in one post defeats the whole damn purpose of them. & not using any at all especially when joking around or using sarcasm can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. It’s not that hard to use one or two at the end of a post. /srs

Picky eating. Literally stop making fun of autistic people for not liking a lot of foods or ordering the same thing at every restaurant. A lot of textures & flavors are very bothersome to autistic people. They can cause overstimulation or even panic. Just let us be. So I eat mac & cheese 4 times a week. I didn’t know it effected you so much.

“Ugh you’re so annoying you can’t ever get a joke”. No hearing that is what’s annoying. Tones are hard for us to understand so while most people pick up on it autistic people are more likely to read too much into it or take it seriously. It’s simple to use tone indicators in text or even to say “I’m joking”. It won’t make your joke less funny. It’ll just help us understand more.

Be specific if you want things from us. Don’t just say “hey I need a pencil”. Or “the dishwasher needs put away”. Most likely we’ll just be like, yeah, ok, and? Be specific please. Say things like “can I borrow a pencil?” or “can you undo the dishwasher?”.

Faces seeming to look weird. A lot of us having facial stims that can alter our faces. Whether it’s excessive blinking, eyebrow raising, or face scrunches. Don’t ask us what’s wrong with our face or what we are doing. For me, because of my facial stims & tics my eyes/eyebrows are permanently uneven. Don’t bring it up.

Classroom behavior charts are horrible. Autistic people don’t behave the same as allistic people. Simple as that. What they see as ok behavior, others don’t. & some times they don’t realize these behaviors will get them in trouble.

Police brutality. Especially in black or brown autistic people. It’s so common that people call the police on autistic people stimming in public because they are seen as dangerous. & when these autistic people can’t understand what’s going on or can’t make eye contact they are labeled as more suspicious. Especially black autistic people. Just look at Elijah McLean.

Feeling dumb. Especially in schools or other scholarly conversations. Some autistic people aren’t able to keep up or fully understand everything that’s being said or presented. Which leads to us feeling dumb. Give us time to process or aso questions please.

Feeling robotic. You’ve most likely heard autistic people being compared to robots at one point or another. Whether that’s for the impaired ability to establish empathy or something else it’s an extremely negative & hurtful stereotype. Especially in media.

Saying ‘I forgot’ is a valid excuse. There is so much going on in our heads. So much to process & remember. We forget things. Everyone forgets things. Especially autistic people. Please don’t yell at us for always forgetting to do the dishes. It’s not like we chose to forget.

The harmful effects of the vaccines cause autism jokes. Aside from the whole anti vaxers debate, perpetually the idea that we shouldn’t be vaccinated because it causes autism is disgusting. It’s treating autism like a disease. Like the person who has it isn’t worthy. Or that autism is so chronic it will ruin everything. It’s like people avoiding cheese burgers because it’s rumored they make you ginger. It’s preposterous. 

Yelling at autistic people for struggling to want to learn new concepts/concepts at all. This not only goes for in school but in just normal conversation. It’s hard for autistic people to grasp things they don’t have an interest in learning. So please don’t yell at us for not understanding everything about a band that we don’t care about, we would if we could. It might not seem like a big issue but it happens more than you’d think.

Intrusive thoughts. (Tw: rape mention & violence) Most of the time autistic people experience extreme spells of intrusive thoughts “omg he’s going to rape you image him raping you” or “stab yourself in the side right now” or much worse. & when autistic (and other) people try to talk about it they are labeled crazy or insane. It’s a normal occurrence to have these kinds of thoughts. We don’t want to. But they happen. That’s why they’re called intrusive.

Executive disfunction. This is basically when autistic people are views as lazy but we physically & mentally just can’t. Where tasks as seemingly simple as going to get a glass of water feels like a mountain to autistic people. It’s not that we are lazy. We physically & mentally can’t work up to it.

Class rank & graduation requirements are unfair. Autistic people socialize differently. It’s just a fact. Our brains work differently in classes & outside of it. We could be working our asses off to understand our English class book, but we get an F. Not to mention how most schools require community service hours to graduate. Yes community service is good but it can be very hard for autistic people.

Please feel free to add on but a lot of these are drawn from personal frustrations. Please listen to autistic & other disabled people more. All these also applies to those with ADHD/ADD or any other mental illness where the situations apply. You’re all valid & amazing.

I love you all. 💕