#Please stop following me though
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WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP FOLLOWING ME
IM NOT COOL DONT BE FOOLED BY MY LUCIFER PROFILE PIC
IM ACTUALLY A TOTAL LOSER AND WEIRDO
#YOU'RE A LOSER BABY#A LOSER GODDAMN BABY#sorry i got excited#Please stop following me though#It makes the gremlin brain confused#shitpost
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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//Man, if only this site was actually functional, but that's far too much to ask of Tumblr.
#Please don't throw beans. I'm allergic. OOC#//I've been having issues for MONTHS with my followers area it doesn't show all the blogs that follow me for some reason#//That's not even the only issue though man they gotta stop adding stuff and fix the issues on the site already
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do you have a favorite cats beat reporter that i should follow on twitter?
okay thats a hard one because i think our beat are all are good and fun in their own way so i follow all of them so like technically i cant say i have a favourite because all of them together make such a nice complete picture that its kinda worth to follow all of them if not because when anything is happening your tl is just gonna be filled with them chittering like chickadees among each other and the commentary together instead of apart is just so funny expecially when something bad happens because then the air stills, you touch the ground and go "something happened here..." and then the tweets come in
and anyways as i thought that to myself i was like writing a case by case basis for each of them and then i got to colby and then i just started splurging
and uh- ive learned that if i had to choose like one favourite to endorse colby is my answer, follow colby i promise you wont regret it
colby has some pretty funny wit and commentary throughout the offseason and during the season he has got some good quips he also tends to have pretty fun interactions with players throughout pressers thatll he'll expand upon on his twt i.e the most recent "good morning stanley cup champion matthew tkachuk" and yeah here are some colby hits i like because i think hes the funniest (also because hes the youngest of our beat that means he typically is at odds with paul and you get some pretty funny generational differences thatll come up when they interact to which paul will go god im old)
hes also independent now and doesnt work for fhn anymore so im sure we'll get some funnier stuff soon on his little so called "unemployed-feel like blog" so like yeah lmaooo
#ask#but yeah i think its just good to follow all our beat because sometimes it is fun to refresh the tl and just be bombarded by them#but yeah colbys the funniest for what its worth#though seeing like alex colby and jordan back to back on tl is pretty fun too#even better when old man george gets in on it#also jameson just completing the whole picture#and yeah when its game season and katie goldie and doug join in#i just REALLY like our beat man theyre filled with wonderful people#also im the most indecisive person ever you guys have go to stop asking me things like this yall open the yapandora's box 😭😭😭😭#im a chronic yapper AND indecisive its the worst combo ever PLEASE MERCY
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Yall when I said I filtered all 911 tags I meant I don’t want to engage with 911 fandom stuff anymore😐
#please stop sending me shit from Twitter#if you followed me for 911 sorry lmao#I’d like to have some peace until they start filming again#Ryan content is welcomed though
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I haven't watched this, but I hope he says it's because he's right, and not because it's boring the shit out of me and probably many other people now too lmao
#why is it 26 minutes though like how much of this is an ad#do I even wanna know?#fair play he's gotta make money he's got a kid and shit#but like. yeah the answer is easy. I'm just bored rehashing fnaf 1-Pizza Sim over and over again#I stopped watching cause I just. don't wanna hear someone grasping at straws to answer fnaf 4 or make everything fit together#it's not going to this isn't designed to be put together#and can we PLEASE stop dragging fnaf 4's body through the streets let the poor thing REST#pop rox talks#before anyone gets at me#kudos to everyone still fitting the pieces together! your dedication is admirable!#at some point for game theory though it seemed like he stopped enjoying it#it's not a mystery worth solving if you're not enjoying the following of threads...#to me anyway#the old stuff? yeah it's cool! it's neat!#but he seems to have twisted himself into so many knots he's forgotten the joy...#and that makes me not want to watch even more#it's not a topic I'm interested in anymore and also he keeps beating his head off a wall instead of having fun with it#buddy you're a theory blog! theorise! there's no one right answer this isn't an exam it's okay!#hhhhhhh#stuff to do.#don't mind me
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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Sorry for being late today coming online, a lot has happened and I am trying to think about the best way to organize this blog going forward. For now though I will try to get the list updated quickly and read through my messages/@'s
#meg talks#mainly thinking about how best to spotlight people's fundraisers because so many are gaining and losing traction periodically#and some of my posts seem to get more reach than others#mostly what troubles me is i think that the more campaigns i boost the less effective it is for each campaign#i think that the small batches of donation matching campaigns that i organized with other people was the most effective thing so far#bc it guaranteed at least one donation to each campaign#i think i'm going to try to make other small batch posts too each day#like ''here are some campaigns that are close to their goal/low on funds/almost to the halfway mark or some other milestone/etc''#but idk. i just feel troubled and i think some people who have reached out to me think i have more reach than i actually do#i have less than 3k followers and a lot of them are inactive blogs from over the past ten years#ofc that still isn't nothing and im going to keep doing what im doing but im afraid people might be reaching out to me#thinking that i'll be able to give their campaigns more visibility than i actually can#im grateful that my master list has gotten some traction but the longer it gets the tougher it is to single ppl out#i don't know. if people have suggestions please let me know#for now i would really really appreciate volunteers to help w the donation matching campaigns#if i can have ppl committing to donating like 5 bucks to a handful of campaigns once or twice a month#then at least that's something that IS guaranteed u know... though i feel ashamed that i quit my job#and can't guarantee much myself until i find a new one#idk im just troubled and i'm not going to stop boosting campaigns but i hate the thought of getting ppl's hopes up and not delivering
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o boy new life series cant wait to Stop Watching As Soon As Someone Permadies
#i dont need more tragedy sorry. but i DO want to see what stupid shit they cook up in there#i need to root for tango also. maybe he'll uh. well. end of sentence.#its kind of a shame im too much of a sap to enjoy em bc theyre truly goldmines for Ideas. y'all have fun for me ok?#life series#secret life spoilers#life series spoilers#footnotes#why are skizz and tango like a bonded pair of birds. god i hope bdubs joins them i want to see that disaster. im rly sad cleo bailed#the heart theme is SO CUTE and will probably stop being cute very fast but SHHH OUTFITS#also i WISH i could be excited abt new watcher subclass symbol dropping but i can Feel the grian fandom being bastards with it#ah yes another morally ambiguous figure who follows their own rules and judges very fairly from that basis-#oh youre making them evil. ok. yeah so theyre the new twisted sicko in charge of the life games even though thats Literally Just Grian. ok.#i have not and will not actually verify if this is what is being said BUT this is one time i would LOVE to be wrong#maybe my curse of saying something abt hermitcraft that immediately becomes false will work out in my favor for once? please? hello?#but yes i will not look and this is tags instead of a post bc truly. i need to get over myself. i Wont but at least i can quarantine it
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god DAMN it.
just cried over satosugu for the first time.
#meow.//#satosugu#i literally haven't felt that much about them (still enough y'know) to cry but all of a sudden??? wtf???#i just cried bc i related them to that one song (christmas kids by roar) and omfg. why does it hurt so much. i thought i could live in PEAC#like. i didn't have to suffer through the pain but nooooo NO ONE IS SPARED.#“you'll change your name or change you mind”#“and leave this fucked up place behind”#“But i'll know”#HISSINg. GROWLING. SOBS#geto literally changed his mind though (thanks kenjaku)#the animatic ideas are swirling in my brain like toilet when i flush the black and white beta fish#BECAUSE THEY'RE BBOTH FUCKING DEAD#jjk#banging my head on the wall please help me save me from this torture. I didn't know gays could hurt me so much. they're tearing me apart#like that one emo werewolf picture that's a meme. that's me but with satosugu atm guys. i'm so sorry for the tag rants. it's like a pigsty#if you follow me i need you to know that i'm not okay and you should stop that immediately because i'm swirling into the abyss#i'm like a melting ice cream from the ice cream truck that they hand you and it gets all over your hands and drips onto the ground#leaving a trail of ice cream drops behind you as you walk away; the music of the truck fading into the distance as your realise#this ice cream SUCKS.#i'm so sorry#south talks too much#irls if you see this i need you to slap me the next time you see me and i'm dead serious.
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I already feel like I have so many btvs opinions that no one would want.
#examples: 1.) fixated on Xander. my little guy with his little outfits and hes been through so much 2.) hate buffy/angel with the so much#energy and therefore can't stand angel too. besides getting into how it is a realistic portrayal of an older man preying on a teenager#it also is just literally illegal. anyways 3.) after watching the scene where faith sexually assaults & tries to kill xander and everything#else she does following i like. do NOT know if I will succeed at feeling much other than rage at her#she seems compelling and like a character i could like but the problem is the narrative cares more about her spiralling than xander so 😬😬#also I find willow boring so far which isnt an indictment against her but that anti lust spell she was going to cast#on xander without his knowledge 😬😬 also idk if ill ever forgive giles for drugging Buffy#also buffy is a sweetheart but it frustrates me nearly always her emotions are the only ones that get weight#also i think that spn .uh may jabe had it right with make every monster a guy#ALSO the bigotry within the show and fundamental flaws are very similar to spn levels (though I know someone who agrees there ckskkz)#also i do think this show would hit different if you watched it as a teenager. THEN id be an angel guy THROUGH AND THROUGH#tortured poor little meow meow AND an IRISH vampire?#and faith was made for young me. for id have been obsessed.#but now i just look at them like ☠️☠️ stop please#incoherents#btvs#buffy#s.a
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So the x-ray went fucking terribly
#it didn’t start off too badly. the waiting room was clean and the receptionist wasn’t the usual demon receptionist you get in a medical#setting. and the x-ray tech or nurse or whoever she was came to get me in good time#she said ‘ellen lastname?’ i said ‘hi’ she said ‘hi; please follow me’ so i did#then i discovered we were going to a linen cupboard because it was labelled as linen cupboard. i was like. i hope that’s not a sign#of things to come. it was though. i had to take my trousers off and wear this stupid fucking hospital gown that didn’t close properly#in the back. what is it about medical professionals and wanting everybody to have their butts out??? i mean luckily i wear the largest#underwear on planet fucking earth but. WHY. and THEN she’s looking at my knee going ‘what’s this blue stuff?’#i say ‘it’s tape. my physiotherapist put it on’ she says ‘you need to take it off’ i say ‘i cannot take it off. i’d have to soak it for#an hour. and something tells me that’s not a good use of nhs time and resources’ she’s like ‘okay fine’#does any of this make sense to you guys btw???? like this x-ray machine can look through my skin. why can’t it look through clothes and TAPE#also i’m not taking off my sports tape for you because my skin will come with it. my physio lady was pretty adamant about that#she said ‘do not rip it off i have seen skin injuries you wouldn’t believe’ i was like ‘i am so with you chief’#so then the actual x-ray starts and this woman is So vague with me about how i need to hold my body. plus it was hot as fuck in this room#and i was trying to hold this stupid little gown together while also holding myself in a really unnatural position#she’s saying ‘relax’ and ‘stop moving’ i’m like ‘i’m doing my best!!!’ like believe me i’m NOT trying to fuck this up#i have two sprained ligaments and that’s just what i know about. we’re here making sure i don’t have a cartilage injury as well#like excuse me if i’m having trouble laying my foot perfectly flat while also leaning forward while also having my left foot (good foot)#behind me while also leaning against the x-ray machine#and at one point a random man came in and i was like HELLO????????#my butt is out who is this???????????#i was starting to feel faint from the heat and from standing for too long in an unnatural position and from just general anxiety#which thankfully was the point when she asked me to sit down and x-rayed my knee from a different position#then she just dismissed me and didn’t walk me back to my cubicle or anything lol. but i found it okay#tossed that stupid hospital gown in the hamper So happily and went to mcdonald’s to rehydrate because i damn near sweated my head off#overall it felt like a bad experience. i’m just like. nowhere in the letter did it mention i would have to disrobe. i wore my big pants#just in case but i still wasn’t expecting it. like i really feel like they could’ve given me a better explanation of what was going#to happen. also why tell me to take off the tape and then just do the x-ray with it on anyway?????#stupidity. anyway if you need me i’m going to angrily chew some gum and put this behind me#personal
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What?
Am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right
I've done everything right
So where's the karma, Doc? I've lost my patience
Because I've been so good, I've been working my ass off
I've been so good, still I'm loney and stressed out
I've been so good
I've been so good this year.
I've been so good but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good
I've been so good this year.
Pic unrelated
#Songs that are stuck in my head#Time#I know we're out of time#But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it?#Bye#I don't want to say bye#If only I could keep you in my pocket#To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow#Please give me instructions I promise I'll follow#I tripped on my and fractured my elbow#But doesn't that mean that the tour's going to sell though?#Though I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted#But after an hour it sounds like complaining#Wait don't go away can I lie here forever?#You say that I'm better#Why don't I feel better?#The universe work in mysterious ways#But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me#Doctor should I be good?#Should I be good this year?
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I GOTTA stop reading comments on Twitter it always makes me mad lmfao how do you people exist and how do you feel like your opinion is warranted on every post ever fjfhfbdbdbfhdf
#i follow a lot of nintendo centric people on Twitter just for updates and leaks#and let me tell you nintendo Twitter fans are the fucking worst i'm not talking about fandom spaces#(even though i have seen my fair share of shit in fandom spaces)#people on twitter just do not realize that there is a time and place to make your opinion known on things#and shocker! that time and place is NOT being an asshole on op's post lmfao#anyways this is about pkmn fans defending gamefreak#jusy saw someone be like “Do you think Pkmn will stop realsing a new game every year when they leave the switch?” and op STRAIGHT UP replied#“we didn't get a new game this year”#this is in reference to us probably getting a new mainline game next year announced btw#also we got dlc#also does detective pikachu mean nothing to you.#also please god dev teams getting rest and not being overworked#is way more important than you getting the next silly creature game that let's face it!#you KNOW you're just going to be disappointed by and is gonna be buggy and rushed as shit!#fun fact: you can still enjoy things and be critical of them ^^ you don't have to defend the corporation that makes them
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Love seeing the fob insanity u have going on <3 feels good to see someone else externalizing all the feels bc my god what a fucking show. When I bought the Tix it was basically on impulse cuz I don't listen to them as much anymore but my subconscious clearly knew what it was doing cuz that show converted me again fall out boy forever and ever and ever fr fr
if there is one truth about me is that i'm insane and that i have the personality of a dog with a squeaky chew toy and i will make it everyone's problem (right now being fob insanity tbh askjdfasojfdsoai)
AND LITROLEE LITROLEEEEEEEEEE IT WAS SO. ive talked about the show a lot to a bunch of people already and i know that im just repeating the same words over and over but it really was. spellbinding. speechless. patrick has the voice of a thousand vengeful angels about to smite a city. i went a bit crazy the entire concert and was just jumping around which was soooo fun (shout out to the girls behind me and my sis, our section was kinda dead but we were Out There For Real). arms race was out of this world. heaven iowa was.....patrick sounded UNREAL? BETTER THAN THE RECORDING???....hearing patrick sing the words true blue LIVE!!!!, i dont think i'll ever get over it. the fucking staging, the logo turning into the bright sun with the lights during love from the other side is permanently seared into my brain like holyyyyyyyyyyy shit, the spinning earth over hold me like a grudge....screaming along to chicago is so two years ago in my favorite place in the entire fucking world...literally unreal.
#ALSO PLEASE JOIN ME I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INSANE IN MY OWN LITTLE CORNER <- that's my fault bc i dont follow any fob accounts tbh but alsdjf#i dragged my sis along with me and she only really knew their singles but she literally looked at me with the hugest eyes after love from#the other side and she had a BLAST and is now on the fob spiral so im like<3 this is why you always listen to your Big Sibling.#anyways fob forever and ever and ever and dudeeee even though we didnt meet or whatever it was great partying and screaming along to the#songs with you no matter how far apart we were<3 im glad you had just as much as fun as i did and also i. genuinely cant stop thinking abou#this concert lol#anon
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