#Plus I think it's also the fact that this season in particular is everyone just trying to well enjoy everyone else-

[thearchercore]

and the fact that both charles and max got disqualified because of the inchident 😭😭😭charles has always been bringing trouble to max while he tries to stay out of trouble circa 2012-2020

that man has been gaslighting ever since he could speak because of his babygirlism and pretty face everyone just lets him but he can’t keep getting away with this 😤😤😤

that's the thing! max is very straightforward and honest, it's easy to call him "mad max" because he won't bullshit you ever, he will say how it is.

charles, on the other hand, knows how to play mind games. we're talking about a driver who outscored in his first year at ferrari THE sebastian vettel and ended up 4th in the overall ranking.

he also got recently really good at media and how to work with it to his advantage. people may underestimate him but this guy got everyone under the binotto regime FIRED at ferrari (except for xavi) to the point ferrari had to put fred in the lead to have someone charles can trust to eventually stay. at the end of the day, even carlos (who was hired by binotto) is set to leave.

charles is not playing around, he knows how to manipulate everyone on the track, and outside of it.

just think about charles' attempted overtake on max in abu dhabi, he knew that his car wasn't built to fight equally with max's but he STUDIED max's behaviour to plan an overtake:

"I saw an opportunity. I saw that Max was looking in the mirrors - [corrects himself] well, I was expecting him to look in the mirrors, so I made him think that I was going right and then I went to the left 😈."

like yes, he just has a particular face that makes you believe he's an angel, but that man is scheming like a cartoon villain and im so excited to see what the upcoming seasons unleash in him

plus, a battle between max and charles would be excellent because they grew up together and know each other inside out and can exactly predict what could be the other's next move so they just constantly try to outsmart each other

[mistressoftherant-blog]

TUA Finale

Spoilers below for the Umbrella Academy final and my not so positive opinion of it.

Why did anyone on the writers team think it was a good idea to have Lila and Five do that?!

I already didn't like Lila for the stunt she pulled with the kid, making Diego get attached to a boy he would never see again and then dropping the bombshell that she was pregnant. I was already a little mad that Five ruined Diego's breakout plan from the asylum, getting him stuck with a needle, put in a straitjacket and locked in a padded cell.

I never appreciated the fact that both of them call Diego dumb constantly (nor the fact that the show has dumbed him down significantly since season 1). The body shaming from Lila was also uncomfortable.

But this... this was a whole new level of awful. And because it was the end of the season and they were all dying, Diego just had to accept it and move on?? Like this was shoved in at the end for a bit of cheap drama.

Cheating is not the answer to feeling unhappy in marriage, especially not with your husband's brother. Especially not when you have three young kids. I really wish Lila could have just been a friend to them rather than in a relationship with any of them. It always bothered me how the writers basically erased Patch and then had Diego move on with Lila like what they had had was nothing, when her death was such a massive moment.

And it was despicable behaviour from Five, especially the way he acted towards Diego in his in-laws home (Or his own home, I wasn't quite clear on that). He's always been condescending and arrogant, and treated Diego in particular in a pretty shitty way, but I always accepted that he was a well-written character. This move destroyed that.

Plus, there is no getting around how weird it was age wise. Five is a man in his 60s mentally (actually, would he be in his 70s seeing as he said he was 62/3 in the beginning of the show and then they spend 7 years trapped?) and a teenager physically. It's creepy. Majorly creepy. Expecially as the writers basically threw this in because they decided everyone needed at least one love story. Which is not true. Platonic stories are just as important narrative wise, and in real life. Also odd vibes that Five's actor would have pretty much just turned 18 when they filmed all of that.

Also, did they just forget that Digeo has a stutter?? I thought for sure that he was going to stutter when confronting Lila and Five as that was a big emotional moment which tends to bring his stutter on or make it worse. But, nope, no stutter at all. (I also feel like Lila was quite patronising when Diego was stuttering last season, though that may just be me reading too much into it as I never liked her character.)

They also seemed to forget Lila's abilities. They made her stupid powerful, (and yes, call me petty, but it pissed me off that they introduced someone who could steal all of their powers and who was basically an extreme, overpowered, not like other girls character), but didn't keep it consistent. Why could she use Viktor's powers in the final fight, but no one else's? Couldn't she have just teleported them into the building instead of needing to dig the knife in deeper for Diego by saying how much she needed Five?

This season was a hot mess, and I have so many gripes with it. There were some good points, like Jean and Gene were fun antagonists, and the Diego and Luther brotherly relationship was great, but none of that can redeem just how awful it was overall.

[ladyluscinia]

I am of course hugely fond of the crew bonding into a stronger community and embracing Izzy as one of them. Love that they are demonstrating their conflict resolution skills and mutual support, and love even more that they do the main foundational work in the absence of the captains - first during the breakup boat era with the trauma bonding and saving Izzy's life in direct defiance of Edward, and then resolving their divides and trust issues after chasing off Edward (and by extension Stede) in 2x04.

It is SO good to see them becoming a unified front who can push back against the bosses (especially since per comedy rules Stede & Edward are probably not going to stop being self-centered no matter how democratic the ship gets 😆).

But I will say it's still very funny when people give them credit for overcoming their strong negative feelings for Izzy, because like...

I don't think those were really a factor, guys 🤣🤣🤣

The show has thrown a bit of a complication into my theory of socially acceptable mutiny in S2 (which I will probably look at more once the season wraps up), but that's mostly because the rules of "how piracy functions" are not a priority for canon to establish. I'm threading together jokes into a watsonian social system because that's fun for me. 🤷‍♀️ So even though my particular explanation is going to have to adapt, the underlying joke still rings true - the mutiny against Izzy is a disproportionately violent response to what he's doing.

Or to put it another way... Yeah, they try to murder him because they don't want to work for him (or, as several of them say, for Black Pete 😆), but it's not really anything personal. Just business.

Meaning that once he's removed from captaincy, he's back to just being a coworker who's kind of a dick. They're not friends leaving S1, but they probably don't hate him?

(Also like the Navy Plot is a lot of things but it was not a reckless endangering of the crew.)

Plus in Izzy's mind, the vast majority of his side of the conflict in S1 is rooted in either 1) Edward leaving him in an ambiguous position of non-authority by refraining from acting as Captain of the ship despite the fact everyone thinks Edward has captured them until 1x07 at least, or 2) Izzy's fairly reasonable belief that all of these guys are going to die when Stede does and are particularly stupid prisoners, not fellow crew.

Both of those problems resolve completely by 1x10. Which in retrospect probably explains a lot of the apparent Izzy-crew relationship shift between S1 and S2 for anyone still not quite clicking on that front.

(Seriously, if you like Izzy in S2 but don't get what changed from S1, try watching S1 again with the things they've made canon about his personality in mind - being in love with Edward, etc. There was a coherent subtext and it's very fun to watch.)

It's really not surprising at all that lingering animosity with Izzy isn't a problem after his short lived time in charge 🤷‍♀️ or that he gets folded into the union. After everything they've been through with Edward they feel he's not on Management's side, and he does advocate for the crew once they are, you know, actually crew.

[dk-wren]

Day 5 - Child of Blessing

Let me try and set the scene, I did not watch TriStamp as it was airing, though it was on my radar since I kept seeing posts about it on here. It caught my attention, but I was already preoccupied with another show last winter, so I told myself "later." When I finally had a break over the summer, it was the first show I sat down with, then it became the fastest show I've binged (essentially in a night). I watched it first in sub, then again like a week later in dub because I could not stop thinking about it!

There are so many scenes, moments, reveals, etc. I could list off the top of my head that blew me away and left my jaw on the floor. But after that first watch, one episode, or rather, one scene kept coming back to mind: episode 5, "Child of Blessing" (specifically its ending)

I wanted to share today the thoughts I wrote down not too long after my first watch as I figured out potentially why that scene stuck out to me so much. I wrote it stream of conscious, so please forgive the rambling and minimal editing. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

As I was (re)watching Trigun Stampede, looking back on it, there is one scene in particular that really stands out to me and leaves me with that lingering thought of “oh damn, this is so hauntingly beautiful.” The episodes discussing Vash and also Wolfwood’s past are just incredible, and I even saw one article argue that the first episode focused on Wolfwood’s past might have been the best episode of the winter ‘23 anime season, which I totally understand and would defend. However, interestingly, as I continuously (or perhaps religiously is the better term) listen to the Trigun Stampede soundtrack and have gone back a few times to rewatch this show, it’s the ending for episode 5 that really just makes me sit there and stare, thinking about all of it. Like I said above, there is something so hauntingly beautiful about after everything Vash and Wolfwood went through in that abandoned city (Windmill Village I believe is how it's referred to) and with Rollo, that as the group drives away, to suddenly see the windmills start turning, resulting in the power coming back on and theoretically life being brought back into that city, like it hit something inside of me that I can’t really define. Earlier in the episode, in flashbacks to Rollo as a child, he was deemed to be a blessed child or something to that effect in that he would be the next in line to be sacrificed to bring good fortune to their city. And thinking about that and Wolfwood’s “mercy” killing of Rollo, it’s like, no Rollo’s death/sacrifice did bring good fortune to the city. It’s just so sad that his death was prolonged by Dr. Conrad’s experiments and after everyone had left the town. The score in this scene too! Like, don’t talk to me, the reprise of one of the main melodies to just such a haunting and somewhat ominous tone. Plus, the fact that it’s called “Human Subject” on the album. I feel like I’m rambling (heck, I know I am), but just all the elements and the build up of that episode, it does something to stir my emotions! Just gotta sit for a moment and think about everything that happened.

Getting to sit and really rewatch these episodes each day as a part of @tristampparty, the argument? discussion? talk? between Vash and Wolfwood right before the end of the episode, with Vash asking Wolfwood why did he shoot and him replying "Mercy," is another standout moment for me. I wish I had more time to write about it (or could at least put it into words better), but I love how it explores the dichotomies in Vash and Wolfwood's thinking or ideology, which was set up in ep. 4 and explored in this one. Wolfwood's response, "Mercy," causes Vash to stop and think since I'd argue that directly contradicts the reason Vash wanted to keep Rollo alive.

Based on my interpretation, which feel free to disagree with, to spare Rollo from death, to finally fulfill his promise to Rollo that we saw in the flashbacks, saying how he would be there if Rollo ever needed help, to Vash, that is "mercy." The comfort of having someone who can see him for the person underneath all the machinery and experimentation and to not instantly run away in fear, this is Vash's perception of "mercy" in this situation. However, for Wolfwood, because he is just like Rollo, taken away from his childhood home to be experimented on, death and escaping the fate (and likely the pain) that was forced upon them is "mercy." Wolfwood's actions represent the first time someone in their group, or really who isn't labeled as an explicit foe/enemy, actually manages to upset Vash since Wolfwood broke the main tenant of Vash's philosophy.

.

.

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Thank you for reading and coming to my rambling session! As I briefly mentioned above, there are a lot of episodes and moments that I cannot get over from TriStamp. And while I don't know if I would say ep. 5 is my favorite, I just wanted to give it some love and talk about its ending for today.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What do you think about the claims that Aang’s anti killing Is hypocritical because of the Blue Spirit’s rampage and it’s possible that people died when Aang would defend himself and his allies?

If we were to apply real world physics, biology or just common sense to the story, the show would not happen because Aang would have died inside that iceberg - no scratch that, there wouldn't be a story because HUMANS CAN'T CONTROL THE GODDAMN ELEMENTS!

Katara, Aang and Sokka would have also died, or at least being severly injured, with lots of broken bones, and possibly paralyzed from the waist/neck down after their attempt of using the Omashu mail system as a rollercoaster.

Firebenders should accidentally burn themselves all the time since their flames are always either dangerous close to their skin or directly touching it as they are created. Don't even get me started on lightning, especially with stuff like Iroh redirecting lightning FROM THE GODDAMN SKY. Toph should have also gotten severe burns in the finale because of that full-body armor she made with ABSURDLY HOT METAL and that was in direct contact with her skin.

Realistically, Sokka should have not have been able to help evacuate an entire village with not previous plan to do so like we saw him do in "Jet." The man Haru and Katara saved in "Imprisoned" should have been very hurt after all those rocks fell on him, and the fact that no died in that metal ship after all the COAL they threw at FIREBENDERS is absurd.

When the pirates put explosives in Zuko's ship, there's a split second where we can see he created a fire-shield - that would in now way in hell be able to allow him to just be walking around the following episode, with just a few superficial burns that are already healed in season two.

In the season one finale, Zhao very clearly aimed his flames at BOTH koi fish, yet only the one with the moon spirit died. Everything also becomes black and white for no real reason since the moonlight has nothing to do with how humans see things

For fuck's sake, the show full on says "AANG DIED AND KATARA BROUGHT HIM BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

Avatar is a children's show AND a cartoon. It operates on cartoon logic - aka, unless death is explicitly mentioned (Gyatso, Kya, Aang) or VERY heavily implied (Zhao, Jet, Combustion Man) we are supposed to assume that, somehow, everyone survived. The fact that fandom can accept EVERYTHING being unrealistic, then complains that people Aang fought survived the impossible just screams "I don't like that this character in a kid's show doesn't go around murdering every enemy in his path!" or "I don't like Aang because he got in the way of my ship, so I'll take any excuse to pretend he is actually a terribly written character everyone should hate!"

As for the Koizilla situation in particular, lets not forget that the very next episode has Aang having nightmares about it and showing that he very clearly does not know how to control the Avatar State, how it works, or even what it is. Roku literally shows up to EXPLAIN that stuff to him. HOW can we hold Aang accountable for something that was not his decision?

Once again, because of cartoon logic, the only sort of confirmed death was Zhao - and that one was 100% on the Ocean Spirit, since he had already split from Aang.

Not to mention "this person accidentally died because of one of my actions" is not always the same as "this person died because I chose to kill them." It's like the difference between a car crash where the driver wasn't able to stop in time VS literally shooting someone in the face.

Plus, in the finale Aang even reached the conclusion that, if he had no alternative, he WOULD kill Ozai, even though that would obviously take a great psychological/spiritual toll on him, because it would be ONE LIFE TAKEN AS A WAY TO SAVE THOUNSANDS, and even before that he had no problem with things like Sokka killing Combustion Man or even full on admiting "Fire Lord Ozai is a terrible person and the world would probably be a better place without him".

It's pretty clear that, even if Avatar DID go there and said "sometimes people died in battles against the Gaang", it would still NOT contradict Aang's beliefs, and therefore he is NOT a hypocrite, and the idiots of the fandom can die mad about it.

[dragonmarquise]

BRC Headcanon Full Names

I have another BRC ask to work on tonight, thus I figure I should post this now. So then, behold! A big ol’ list of full name headcanons!

Basically a continuation of this post I made a long while back. This covers pretty much all the major characters, at least the playable ones. Plus even specific crew members from the rival crews!

Some of these have specific meanings that I used for the particular character, others were just kind of more general vibes, like “Oh this sounds cool/cute/etc.” A few of these will have extra notes on why I picked particular given/family names, but otherwise just assume it was because I liked the sound of it! Went with mostly Dutch last names for most of these characters since, well, dialog in parts of the game imply New Amsterdam is still in the Netherlands, so that made it a bit easier when I couldn't think of anything else to try, y'know? :P

Also note, not everyone here has a middle name. Not everyone irl has one anyways! Also also, some of the Dutch last names may be in the format of “Van (something)” or “De (something”, so just wanted to point that out in case anyone might get confused and think Van/De is a middle name, lol

Starting with the main cast:

Tryce = Tristian Christoffel

Bel = Annabella Pieper

DJ Cyber = Cyrus Rafaël Nassau

Felix = Bernard Manfred Van Steen (I still maintain that Felix looks like his real name would be Bernard, lol)

Vinyl = Florence Zoë Hendriks (when she was a child, she would sometimes write it as “Hendrix” and try to convince people she was related to Jimi Hendrix; it worked more often than it probably should have)

Solace = Levi Smit

The five bonus BRC members:

Rave = Vanessa Yvonne Ziegler (A headcanon, note, her dad is a black German, and her mom is from the Dominican Republic! Since she has a bunch of lines in German, and at least two in Spanish (one in particular being specifically Dominican slang), so that’s how I’m handled this :P )

Mesh = Bassam Karimi (first name means “smiling” in Arabic, last name is derived from the given name Karim/Kareem, which in turn means something along the lines of "generous, noble" or “dignity”; my research into this yielded differing results, but this seems to be more or less the overall idea. Honestly think it both sounds nice and really suits him!)

Shine = Sol Bakker (“Sol” just means “sun” in Spanish and Portugese, basically the idea is she derived her street name from that!)

Rise = Josephine Katherina Thomas (She hates being called any sort of nickname for her first name. It’s either Rise or Josephine, that’s it)

Coil = Oscar Meijer (Fun fact, the English equivalent of Meijer is Meyer/Mayer. I genuinely did not intentionally make Coil’s real name to be a roundabout reference to the lunch meat, but now that I realize it, I’m definitely keeping it this way, loool)

Some others:

Rietveld = We know here full name is Irene Rietveld, but a bonus idea: the rest of BRC point out it’s a bit awkward for her to go by her real name as her street/writer name, so she eventually settles on Rivet as an alias! :D

Escher = Matthias Conrad Escher (Originally just Matthias, but then decided to make a reference to the actual M. C. Escher, “Yeah, my parents knew what they were doing.”; thanks to @slappels for the suggestion way back when!!)

My Devil Theory OCs! The season in parentheses is what in-game palette they correspond with.

Sai (spring) = Tomás Lucas Ortiz

Nunchaku (summer) = Roxanne Beverly Sullivan

Daishō (autumn) = Hiro Francisco Morikawa (first name using the character for “prosperous” (浩); last name using the characters for “forest” (森) and “river” (川). Not that he ever gets a chance to write them in Japanese characters anyways :P )

Bō (winter) = Gavril Jansen

Now for DOT EXE! A repeat from the full DOT EXE headcanons I made a while back, but still including it here for convenience.

Cueball = Ernesto Alberto Visser (Dutch father and Italian-American mother; “Her side of the family were like, the conservative Italian-American types. The kind that makes an annoyingly big deal about celebrating Columbus Day.”; his first and middle name come from two different great grandfathers on his mom’s side)

Eight Ball = Frederik Visser (older half-brother to Cueball, they share the same dad)

Cinco (five ball) = César Hugo Raúl Garcia-Flores (last name got hyphenated when he moved to New Amsterdam while getting his papers in order and stuff; not sure if I ever clarified it in the original post, but in most (probably all?) Spanish-speaking countries, people have two last names, one from their father and the other from their mother. When moving to a country that doesn’t allow for two last names, some people end up forced to pick one or the other. Cinco went with just hyphenating it to be able to effectively keep both.)

Neun (nine ball) = Sebastián Montero Sebastian Jäger

Twoson (two ball) = Beau Driessen

Fourside (four ball) = Robin Zaal

Jūrō (ten ball) = Maximilien Théodore Perrault

Quatorze (fourteen ball) = Marie-Madeleine Lucille Perrault

And heck, the rest of the New Amsterdam crews too while I’m at it. Same as with DT and DE, the season in parentheses is the corresponding in-game palette for the playable rival character.

The Franks:

Flesh Prince = Ruben Vos (last name meaning fox, and apparently was/is a nickname for a clever person… or a person with red hair, lol)

Bill (spring) = Caspar Westenberg

Charles (summer) = Thomas Vogels

Michael (autumn) = Abraham Joël Admiraal

Larry (winter) = Lennard Van Herten

(For their street names besides the Prince, they’re named after famous basketball players, specifically from this list; Charles, Michael, and Larry are probably obvious, with Bill there’s at least two different Bills on that list lol)

Eclipse: (Street names come from constellations, I tried to go with more (relatively?) obscure ones for the names)

Vela (spring) = Sara Al-Ghazzawi

Aquila (summer) = Melissa Agnes Fortuin

Lyra (autumn) = Hannah De Klerk

Cassiopeia (winter) = Xandra Gemma Daalmans (given name is actually Alexandra, but she goes mostly by Xandra for her business)

And finally the rest of FUTURISM: (see my recent short headcanon post about them!)

Nyx (spring) = Laura Kappel

Jazz (summer) = Vincent Linden

Veronica (autumn) = Paula Prinsen (Paula is the feminine form of Paul, which in turn has roots in the Latin word Paulus which can mean humble. This is an intentionally ironic name choice for this character, lmao. Also Prinsen means “son of the Prince”, so this one is more in line with her haughty attitude)

Quantum (winter) = Esther Katja Hoedemaker (She goes by Kat as a nickname)

This next one only applies to my fanfic AU of “What if we take the postgame at face value and Red somehow became a separate person from both Felix and Faux”, but anyways:

Red = Russell Miles Van Steen (Picked the first and middle names himself, note that Russell just means “red” lol. He took on Felix’s last name since they see each other as brothers after a certain point. And it’s not like Red could come up with a better last name anyways. His middle name when paired with Felix’s middle name is a Miles Edgeworth reference :P )

[lookingatacupoftea]

What's up with Whicker Street?

Crack theory time! This is an attempt to explain the weirdness on Whickber Street. Unlike the other theories I've been revolving in my mind, this theory operates on a symbolic level, foreshadowing a possible future. It does not preclude a more plot-relevant primary explanation, but offers what could be a hidden, extra layer of meaning.

Please don't ask or tag Neil about fan theory. 

Okay, here it is: Whickber Street in s2 is the future of heaven/hell/the afterlife following s3. It foreshadows a post-revolution heaven/hell/afterlife that is not about misery and abstinence or strict dividing lines but about community and enjoyment. 

Evidence in s2: 

WS and the surrounding streets are fairly self-contained, encompassing many human experiences and pleasures: food, drink, sex, music, clothes, theater, books, magic (see the layout here). This foreshadows a more fun afterlife/heaven/hell that is more like life on earth.

A&C spend more time both with other angels and demons and with humans this season, also foreshadowing a greater sense of community in the future.

The frequent use of B-sides in the musical score and references relates to how everyone is getting a second chance in this kinder afterlife/heaven/hell.  

Maggie's shop is the afterlife records office (think Dead Boy Detectives). 

Maggie is angel coded and functions as a parallel or mirror character to Muriel. They're both sweet tempered, enthusiastic and lonely, maintaining the records that no one visits. 

The coffee shop is a portal to the afterlife because “life begins after coffee.” It also represents liberty from the dull-to-torturous spectrum that we’ve seen in heaven, hell and the afterlife so far. 

Image from r/goodomens

Nina is demon coded and her closest parallel is Eric. Like Eric, she's more aware of what's going on than others and just can't stop herself from sharing facts (think Eric in the recruitment meeting pointing out the issues with Shax's plan v. Nina being aware that the ball is all wrong). And like Eric she has a very familiar face that crops up in the show again and again.

The WS traders’ meeting to talk about the “proposed rubbish collection times” parallels the “cleaning rota” at the archangels’ meeting. I think the shopkeepers may mirror higher-ranking angels and demons, but I don't know if they match up one to one. 

The extras on the street walk in circles and double back on each other, a lot like the demons (or damned?) circulating behind Crowley and Beez in hell in ep1. 

GIF by mametupa

The extras’ bright clothes represent a happier way of life than the dead, angels and demons had before - neither the blandness of heaven nor the darkness of hell. 

The vintage aspect to the clothes could be influenced by when humans died or by angels’ and demons’ unique fashion senses.

If this is indeed symbolic foreshadowing, in s3 we could see more about building this sense of community and enabling angels, demons and the dead to practice more free will and have a better quality of life. A particular pair of scenes that might be mirrored in s3 is the ball and resulting battle. Instead of textually human characters (plus Jim) needing to be protected, we could see A&C defend a gathering of the dead and other angels and demons. And we could see an ending where angels go “over the road” (a phrase used multiple times in reference to the coffee shop) to be friendly with demons en masse, not just in these one-off pairings we’ve seen so far.

Another possible s3 development that could grow from this theory is a friendship or romance between Muriel and Eric as mirrors to Maggie and Nina (and A&C and G&B), which tons of writers have already included in their fics.

Finally, if the primary meaning of the weird extras is that they're angelic or demonic spies, that could align with this secondary level of meaning and foreshadowing: Spying on these traitors on WS is the most fun they’ve had in millennia and maybe they won’t be happy to go back to their normal routine. 

I'm not at all sold on this theory and there are lots of discontinuities it doesn't explain. I’m also not sure how much this foreshadows a new heaven/hell or a new afterlife or both. But I haven't been able to get it out of my head, so I offer it up on the altar of meta discussion.  

[orionsangel86]

Good Omens Season 2 - Overall Review

You know every now and then its nice to step outside of the echo chamber and get a fresh perspective on things. I've been looking at some negative reviews for GOS2 this evening after some critical comments came across my dash which was a surprise at first because my dash has otherwise been filled with GOS2 love and adoration (if perhaps also some odd theories floating around).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it made me really consider mine, so I decided to write it down. I know I still have episode reviews for eps 2-6 to write up, which I will get to, but I needed to get this off my chest first. This is generally just a reaction post outlining all the things I liked and didn't like about GOS2. Under a cut because looooong.

I hadn't read the Good Omens book before I watched Season 1. I watched that show completely blind and my main reason for watching at the time was because

a) I'm always going to be a little bit in love with David Tennant and so watch absolutely everything he is in always no matter how horrible (Des was a particularly hard watch)

b) I had heard that GO was partially some of the original inspiration for Supernatural and I'll be a Supernatural slut til the end of time.

c) I love all things fantasy and it genuinely looked like a great show.

Whilst I loved the first season, the thing I loved about it, was Aziraphale and Crowley. I also very much enjoyed the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Angels and Demons, and Anathama and Madam Tracey as characters.

I hated the kids. They were bloody awful and on every rewatch I have done in the past few years I have had to skip over their scenes. I find them completely unwatchable. I found Newt to be boring and Shadwell a pain in the ass. I don't find that particular brand of misogyny funny so his scenes are also just painful for me. I loathed the fact that he ended up with Madam Tracey in the end, AND that she changed who she was completely for him. What the FUCK was that all about?

Anyway, now that that is off my chest, the point I am making is that the only thing I really enjoyed about Good Omens was Crowley and Aziraphales love story plus a few of the awesome female characters they had helping them. I also enjoyed the quirky narration by God which I think had a distinctly Douglas Adam's feel to it (which I believe was the vibe Terry and Neil were going for at the time).

I have always been of the opinion that it was GOs faithfullness to the book which let it down. I read the book after watching the show and whilst it was a good book, it dragged on in parts, spent too long focusing on the kids, and Aziraphale and Crowley weren't quite as lovable in book format as they were brought to life by DT and MS. To me, the book was a 6/10, the show a 7/10. I was a fan of AziraCrow and their love story. I did not, and have not ever, believed they were "canon" in season 1 (though i was loathed to admit this due to the rabidity of the fandoms insistence that they were - which was spurred on by Gaiman much to his own detriment).

So when GOS2 came around I had no expectations that it would kick off with AziraCrow being all lovey dovey and shacked up - having confessed their love and living together as life partners - as I genuinely believe some GO fans expected to be the case - after all these are the fans that insisted it was canon in season 1! Surely that means they'll be together in season 2 right?

Well obviously that wasn't the case. First mistake for Neil Gaiman - maybe don't spend 4 years trying to convince your fanbase that these characters are already together and in love if you are going to write a whole second season revolving around the fact that they still aren't together.

I was also really worried when GOS2 was announced that they'd bring back the bloody kids, and Shadwell, and the other season 1 characters. I was very much relieved when I heard that wasn't the case. As much as I enjoyed Madam Tracey, she was ruined at the end of S1, and as much as I liked Anathama, I was very aware that her story was over the moment she burned the new prophecy book.

So going into Season 2, I was expecting and hoping for a few things:

The romantic development of AziraCrow from friends to lovers

More time with the angels and demons

A fun lesbian side story

Technically, I got all three things.

I am aware that GOS2 has its flaws. It's pacings a bit dodgy, and I do find some of the dialogue a bit jarring particularly in the Maggie and Nina scenes. The entire season has this slightly saccharine quality to it where I feel like if I watch it too many times too quickly I'll get sick from the sweetness. There needed to be a little bit more gruesomeness and angst to counteract all that sugar - Zombie Nazi's notwithstanding.

The Maggie and Nina mirrors to Aziraphale and Crowley were more heavy handed than in a season 8 MOTW episode of Supernatural. I've made that joke before, but it still stands. I wish that Neil had been a bit more subtle with it. As much as I like Maggie and Nina, they could have used a bit more development and a bit of distance from Zira and Crowley. I did find the scene where they sit down with Crowley at the end to basically tell him to get his shit together and tell Zira how he feels like something out of a fangirls dream. Does anyone remember that really OTT gay Hallmark style Christmas movie that came out last year? Single All The Way? Gods, when I first watched that movie I thought it was sweet, but it was so obviously taken from fanfiction that I couldn't take it seriously (I say this as someone who adores fanfiction and has huge respect for fanfiction writers - but we all start somewhere, and its usually as a teenager writing really sappy YAOI and that's what I feel inspired Single All The Way - side note: Trixie and Katya's review of Single All The Way is one of the funniest things I've ever watched, nothing like watching two drag queens absolutely destroy queer media that was absolutely NOT written with gay men in mind)). Anyway, I mention SATW because there is a scene towards the end of the movie where two teenage girls sit the protagonist down and tell him that he's an idiot who is clearly in love with his best friend and he should go confess his love before its too late.

Look I'm sure we've all had that fantasy. I know I did when it came to Destiel for years. Nothing better than picturing myself standing in the bunker shaking Dean Winchester by the shoulders yelling at him to go kiss Castiel because goddammit that angel needs to know he's loved!

It's a great fantasy. But I DO NOT want to EVER see it played out for real in ANY media. When I realised that this was exactly what was happening in GOS2 I curled up into a ball and screamed into my hands, and not in a good way. That was... bad. Someone slap Neil on the wrist for that terrible decision. There were a dozen better ways they could have explained the AziraCrow miscommunication issue.

Having said all this, everything else about GOS2 I adored. There is criticism about the minisodes. Sure, they are totally expansions on the popularity of Season 1's episode 3 opener, and are rather self indulgent and not really connected to the main Gabriel mystery, but they are each of them an absolute blast. They dig deeper into AziraCrow's relationship and help to understand a bit more of their dynamic and the underlying issues that they have been facing for their entire friendship.

I totally understand where people may criticise the Gabriel/Beelzebub romance coming out of left field as well. It was totally unexpected and yeah, sure, Gabriel was basically the villain of season 1, so I can understand the irritation and him getting to have a happy ever after love story when he has never even apologised to Zira. But I gotta be honest, I don't really care. I thought it was hilarious and a fun twist as well as well as a much more subtle narrative mirror to AziraCrow than Maggie and Nina were. You can accuse Neil of taking that idea from fans if you want, its totally possible that he came across some ineffable beurocracy fanart and thought huh, that could be fun. But I don't care if he did, or if it did come to him completely separately to the fans. I never shipped them, but I find it hilarious in the same way I find the Dean/Crowley ship in SPN hilarious. That went canon too, much to the horror of the entire SPN fandom. NO ONE ASKED FOR DROWLEY and yet they inflicted it on us anyway... I'll never quite get over that fact.

As for Aziraphale's characterisations. I disagree with everyone who says he was out of character. I love that he's still struggling with the idea of not being part of heaven. I love that he is still dealing with the millennia of abuse and brainwashing and manipulation. I love that he still hasn't quite grasped the tyranny and institutional corruption at Heaven's heart. I found the end of season 1 to be very satisfying in a lot of ways (other than the lack of handholding in the Ritz) but when I really think about it, Season 1 really doesn't resolve Zira's issues with Heaven. He get's discorporated, decides he doesn't want to fight, goes back to Earth and then he's dealing with the apocalypse and he never actually has any communication with Heaven again after that, because it's Crowley who goes to Heaven in his place and witnesses just how cruel they are (at least Hell gave Crowley a trial).

Nothing happens at the end of season 1 that could be enough to break him away from 6000 years of cult-like indoctrination. He still puts it down to a few bad angels. He never actually talks to God, and whilst the Metatron disappoints him, its very easy to believe that Zira would change his mind after receiving a few kind words, and the promise of restoring Crowley to full angelhood.

Crowley was perfect throughout the entire season. 10/10. No notes. Absolutely utter perfection. Outstanding performance from DT, I laughed, I cried, I wept, I desperately want to hug Crowley and let him cry on my shoulder for an entire night.

Other things I adored about the season include the entirety of episode 5 The Ball. My fave episode. It was so silly and adorable and funny. The entire "Seamstress" conversation had me rolling with laughter. Shout out to Donna Preston (Our girl Despair) who absolutely stole every scene she was in. Miranda Richardson shines as Shax (an excellent choice to recast her as a new character after the butchering of Madam Tracey's character at the end of S1). I think Muriel was a bit underutilised but still loved their wide eyed innocence and naivity.

The biggest thing I think was missing was Francis McDormand's narration as God. They brought her back for episode 2 for a very minor role, I don't understand why Neil couldn't have just had God narrate it again, with more Douglas Adams crossed with Monty Python style sequences of explanation (the angels dancing on the head of a pin is one of my absolute favourite moments in all of season 1). I presume that God's narration in S1 was to ensure the books more abstract explanations got faithfully adapted, but I wish Neil could have at least tried to recreate that for S2.

Finally, the AziraCrow romance was almost exactly what I hoped for. All the way through the season they built on it and built on it, whilst also shedding light on the fundamental issues at their core. They are still so opposite even though they want nothing more than to be together. It's heartbreaking, it's shippy AF, its all romance tropes and fanservice sure - but I don't consider fanservice to be a dirty word. The kiss is heartbreaking. You can feel the desperation oozing off of Crowley in that moment. The heartbreaking cliffhanger is exactly what's needed at the end of act 2 of a 3 act structure. If we had been given the episodes week by week, i fully believe by week 6 we would have been more prepared for it, because after rewatching a few times now, its built in rather seemlessly imo. It was always gonna end that way.

When I consider everything, I can honestly say hand on heart that I preferred this season to the first. Though that's only because season 1 doesn't have enough AziraCrow in it and I'm ultimately here for them. This season was made for the AziraCrow fans, so it makes sense that I'd prefer it, whereas I suppose for book lovers and people who prefer the story of book 1 to the relationship between Az and Crow then yeah, for sure I can see why perhaps you wouldn't be too happy with this season. Perhaps Season 3 will be a better blend for all GO fans.

It was a joy. Fanservice? Yes. A bit like fanfiction? Also yes. Are either of these things bad? Not at all. It was extremely queer, fun, silly, romantic, and heartbreaking. The lack of overarching domineering plot was a good thing tbh. Some of my favourite shows focus more on character development than plot, look at WWDITS, which has never had a proper plot in a single episode of its 5 season run. Yet it is hugely successful and critically acclaimed. Half the time in Supernatural the plot was the absolute worst thing about it. You ignored the plot as much as possible and instead focused on the subtext because that's where all the fun was! So yeah, the lack of overarching plot doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I will leave it there. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, though I do wish that anyone who is particularly critical of GOS2 would please tag it as such, because now I've done my dive into the critique of it, I'd like to avoid and blacklist all such critique going forward. I want to remain in my little GOS2 happy bubble for a while longer - before I inevitably revert back into deep meta analysis of the much darker, and sometimes depressing story of The Sandman.

:)

[leedollop]

Hazbin Art Scam

Hey everyone. I've gotten a few of these scam DMs from people pretending to be in the Hazbin Hotel fandom, so I just wanted to share some information and make others aware of this scam. I am sure a lot of people would see the red flags through their DMs with these people, but this is also so you can spot when one of these accounts has followed/DMed you so you can just block. It sucks to get your hopes up about meeting a new Hazbin Hotel fan, only to realize you're talking to a scammer.

So, this is how the scam starts. You'll see someone has followed you out of the blue. Typically they don't like any posts and it is unclear how they found you or why they have any interest in your content. It happens sometimes, but it doesn't stop there. If you look at their page, it looks normal at first because they'll have a Hazbin Hotel related profile picture and banner. It tends to be themed around one character in particular, mimicking how a lot of fan blogs look. Usually they'll say they're an artist, but they either only reblog other art posts instead of posting their own (without tags normally) or any art they post is clearly stolen. They're a bit buried but, if you scroll enough and the latter is true, you will find it.

Their bios, in general, look real enough, though if you look closer there's usually a "nonsense phrase" stuck in there that makes you give it a second glance. They also commonly have hashtags in their bio, showing they have no idea how Tumblr works. Here are two examples from the two I had message me:

They will message you almost immediately after following, saying "hey", "hi", or something similar. They'll start some small talk with you enough to make them seem like a genuine Hazbin Hotel fan before getting down to business (mostly asking your opinions on stuff).

The biggest tell is they always seem to ask two things: They will always ask who your favorite Hazbin Hotel character is (even if that information is extremely obvious) and they will ask you if you want to see their commission work or artwork. It's typically under the guise of having OCs they want to share with you, also asking you if you have OCs.

This is their side of the conversation from one that messaged me recently. I went along with it a little more just to see how it would play out:

I linked the commissioned art they showed me back to a Fiverr account (like, it's literally just the example pictures) they had no connection to. Don't be convinced by them getting defensive when you point out it is extremely bizarre to randomly offer someone OC art when you know nothing about them or their content. It is weird, they just want to guilt you into thinking you're being overly cautious so you'll go along with the scam. If you wanna know how outright bizarre this is, my Hazbin Hotel OC is readily available information in my pinned that anyone can access at anytime, even the slightest look at my page would have told them that.

I didn't see the scam the whole way through for obvious reasons, but. For anyone new to Tumblr, like actual users, just so you know this is not normal Tumblr etiquette at all, especially in fandom spaces. Someone messaging you right after following you isn't weird...granted they actually have interacted with you or your posts beforehand and actually talk to you about this rather than asking questions anyone could ask. Most of the questions these scammers ask is based off of basic knowledge you could find through a Google search (like character names, the fact Hazbin Hotel is getting multiple seasons, and so on) without going into any specifics or normal fandom talk like headcanons or gushing. Any time you mention something specific, they will deflect it or ask another question so they won't have to admit they know nothing about the show or its actual contents.

Plus, if an artist really wants to draw your OC, they'll probably send you an ask or a DM directly asking permission, not try to coax you into it through vague small talk or showing off the art you should already be able to see on their page. Or, if you've made it clear you are okay with people making art of your OCs, they'll just do it and tag you. You'll probably have seen them around in your fandom spaces too rather than them just popping up out of nowhere. If someone you've never heard of or seen before follows you and immediately messages you, especially if they're claiming to be an artist with no pinned or very little information about it, it's best to just block.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Eps 10 & 11

Howdy! I had a request for 11, but since I've already done 9 (and didn't want 10 hanging out by its lonesome), I thought I'd pair them together.

SPOILER ALERT: If you're new here, please know that spoilers are part of the gig. Yes, it's an unpaid, voluntary, unsanctioned gig... but I take it seriously (well, seriously enough). So, there'll be spoilers of these episodes and all the episodes before. But I try to keep my foreknowledge out of these.

If you're ready (and I know I'm ready), it's time to dive in!

"Heart Beat" AKA Kojo Sniffs a Bitch

Peroxide Princess at Tim's

I can't tell you how hard I rolled my eyes when I saw her in his house in the first place. Like, okay, I get that they're adults, yada, yada... but the immature teenager in me wanted to throw bleach at the screen to try to sterilize Tim's house remotely of her gritty, sandy presence.

Like, I need to find a can of some cleaner that'll erase her... like a "Bitch BeGone" in a spray bottle.

Tim's making breakfast, and she feels like she has to remind him she doesn't like it. But, Tim's pretty good at taking note of those details. And it's not for you, Beach Bitch. It's for Kojo! The bestest puppers in the world.

And Kojo. doesn't. like. Bitch Barbie. at. all.

Good instincts, Kojo! Good boy!

"How long have you had him?" "Uh, a year. He was Lucy's but she couldn't keep him."

Because Daddy and Mommy have to deal with joint custody for a while. You, Side Piece, can see yourself out the door any time. All you'll ever be is a footnote at the bottom of one page of the book of Chenford's love.

Yes, I'm in a salty mood. But at least my ire's directed at a fictional character, right?

"So, how's it going with Ashley?" "Good. Although there was some weirdness this morning."

You mean the fact that you're dating her instead of Lucy? Yeah, we spotted that weirdness, too.

But aside from that, I want to mention the awesomeness that is Season 4 Tim talking "personal life" with Lucy in the Shop without hesitation. He's so comfortable with her, now, that this particular rule no longer exists.

Plus, if he's talking to Lucy about his placeholder girlfriend, he can further distance himself from any feelings for Lucy.

"I don't think she likes Kojo." "So you broke up with her? That's, that's too bad."

Boom!! Lucy knows how it should be. Now, all you've gotta do it dismiss Not-Lucy and get on the right track, Tim. Kojo's trying to guide you to the right path. Listen to the pup!

"I liked her." "Since when? Last time we talked about her you gave me grief because she's a lifeguard."

This from "He's a fireman" Tim Bradford!? REALLY!? And suddenly getting "rigorous training" at the Fire Academy is good enough for you? Wow, you really like to make excuses for this girl to justify why you're dating *checks notes* a lifeguard.

Also, not used to Lucy giving Tim grief. Like, I thought that was an interesting line the first time I heard it, because Lucy's usually a very open person. Unless there's some sub-conscious jealousy afoot. Hmmm.

"But you know what, it is a moot point because she does not like Kojo. First of his name. King of canines. Destroyer of chew toys. So, clearly, Ashley has got to go."

Lucy "the right one" Chen, everyone! Speaking for every member of the Chenford fandom in that moment.

The Temporary Inconvenience Calls the Wife for Help

Lucy's surprise at hearing Ashley's voice is evident, and I'd be wondering what hoops she went through to get that number, m'self. Sure, you can meet at a party anytime, but folks don't just give out phone numbers willy nilly. So, who gave it to her?

And I'm going to skip most of this conversation because we all know Plot Device isn't gonna last.

"Kojo is just like... well, I mean, he's kind of just like Tim."

I'm sorry. I have to pause and get into the psychology of this a little. Because Lucy. Picked. A. Dog. Like. Tim.

Like, she picked out someone she wanted to live with her, to be a part of her daily life, to possibly cuddle in bed with her... who reminds her of Tim.

Lucy, you're a psych major. You can figure this out!

"He's big, gruff, a whole lot of bark, but you know, underneath all of it, he's a, he's a sweetheart."

Lucy is allowing herself to think about Tim in all his facets, and as she does, she can't help but fall into the best parts of him. And as soon as she utters that last line, her brow furrows and she physically turns away from him.

Why? Perhaps because thinking of his softer side felt safe. But as soon as her mind started moving, it went places she (and he) avoid in Season 4.

One. Damn. Spark. in episode 1 and the two of them are running scared.

"You know, you should tell Tim how you feel."

So should you, Lucy Chen.

Lucy Meets Chris the CrabApple

Moment one and I want to put a hot stake through his heart and call it a night.

Like, we can stake him, right? That's okay because it's fictional and he technically won't feel it?

I mean, I've heard there were people who didn't absolutely hate Chris at the first moment. Like, I never hated Rachel. I liked her. I just didn't want her for Tim forever. He needed that transitional girl.

But Ashley and Chris just get under my skin in the worst way.

Some people might argue that Lucy and Tim "started at odds", but that was different. Tim was Lucy's training officer and took a hard-nosed approach. Chris is just an asshole.

James and Wesley Go Out

Look, I know this is a Chenford Meta, but I have to call it out because I love it. I love watching these characters slowly become a family.

"Why is my girlfriend calling you?"

"Because I'm dating her to get away from you. She's not supposed to close the loop!"

Like, seriously, the boy is delusional right now.

"And you're so concerned about my love life because..." "Because I don't wanna drive around on patrol with you while you are moping about screwing this up."

Lucy is being a good friend. She thinks that Tim isn't interested in her (because, obviously he wouldn't be dating someone else if he was, right? Oy, these two are idiots).

"Look, if you like this girl, you should listen to her."

But if he really liked this girl, it wouldn't take Lucy stepping in to help.

Think about it—she helped Tim with Rachel with the birthday present. She's helping Tim with Ashley with Kojo. Tim so would be dumped lickity split without Lucy's help.

Take the hint, Timmy.

"When have I ever moped? I don't even know how." "Mmhmm."

Why do we spell "moped" and "moped" the same way? Like, "he moped while riding his moped" is a real sentence. English is a dumb language.

Also, fans of 5x10 (and many other episodes) note that Tim does this eyeroll quite a bit and usually in relation to Lucy... good or bad.

"End Game" AKA A Safe Home

"... the clown from the DA's office..."

Yes, Tamara. Yes. Speak truth, little sister. That clown doesn't need to be anywhere near our girl Lucy.

"Tyler's lucky he has you looking out for him. I knew I was."

That's what Lucy does. That's who Lucy is. For all the times her family didn't look out for her, she's going to look out for others times a million.

"Everything okay?"

I love how he looks from Lucy to Chris, like, "Do you need me?" And when she shows she's fine, he hangs back and lets her do her thing. He knows Lucy can defend herself. But he's not going far in case she needs to tap him in.

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy, calling me dramatic?"

Tim tries to look like he has no idea what she's talking about... but c'mon. He knows his girl. And she does have a flare for the dramatic... especially when she's been up all night and is dosing caffeine like a drug.

"Um, do not start."

Married. They talk to each other like they're a couple all the time in Season 4, and they don't even realize it. They've spent so much time filing away that moment between them in his house that they've convinced themselves they're immune to it... the pull that's drawing them nearer one another.

"Exactly how many cups of coffee did you have this morning?" "I'm just going to apologize to you right now." *Tim eyeroll* "Um, it's gonna be a really long day for you, and, and I'm sorry."

Hey! The eye roll of "I don't know how to mope" is back already! But, seriously, Tim, when y'all eventually get your act together, you might want to invest in decaf.

"Alright, how do you want to handle this?"

He's letting her take the lead, and I love that. Tim knows how to do this, of course, but he understands the bond between Lucy and Tamara is strong.

It'd be easy for Tim to give instructions, even though he's no longer her TO. He doesn't even giver her an anecdote or experience—because he trusts Lucy.

"I know what to do as a cop, and I know how to do it as a roommate, but, you know, those are different approaches." "Just be a friend. And if you need a cop, tag me in." "Thank you."

I love her little head tilt to him. There's something so comfortable about it, so relaxed, so lived-in. It's so far beyond Sergeant/Officer relationships.

And, even in a moment of kindness, Tim's brain slips into a sports reference. I know I keep saying it, but someday you'll come to appreciate those, Lucy.

Plus, in a shallow moment, can I appreciate Tim being in her apartment, again? It's truly the little things.

"And if you were desperate enough, there was always Swiping."

The silent communication on this is beautiful. Tim furrows his brow and cocks his head. Lucy looks back to Tim, and he barely had to shake her head before they both know... they don't know.

And watch Tim in the background as he processes what it is. I've said it before, but Eric Winter is Tim Bradford when the camera is rolling, even when he's out of focus.

"You okay?"

He's getting so good at reading her. I mean, he clocked this one in seconds. And we all know how important it is for him to know that she's okay.

There was a time he'd bark at her to try to get her to focus up, but we’re so far past that.

"As close as we are, there's a lot she won't talk about." "Look, don't' take it personally. She might just have a hard time opening up to you."

Like her future adoptive dad, right Tim? Seriously, I have always seen a lot in common between the two, even though they are completely unique individuals.

But, I do think Tim's life experiences will help him be a better Dad to Tamara someday... if Chenford get their act together, of course.

"But I'm sure Tamara will share when she's ready to."

Ah, Tim Bradford, how I love you finishing sentences with prepositions. And I don't mean this in jest! It was drilled into my head in grade school to remove that happenstance from my work, right?

But if you're writing scripts... people don't speak in perfect English all the time unless that's the world you've created. If you're aiming to tell a story in our world with characters that ring true, their dialogue can't be perfect or it starts to come off as unbelievable.

Yes, I know there are writers like Sorkin and others who have their own dialogue style entirely, but I would argue that's creating a world separate from ours where everyone speaks in a certain manner.

So, I get a special warm-and-fuzzy feeling with the dialogue, especially Tim's, sometimes. He's so bloody real.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" "It's just a lot. Being back here."

Lucy knows psychology, but she also knows trauma, and poor Tamara had a lot. Yes, they are roommates, but they are so much more than that.

Lucy is the first adult Tamara trusted. The first one to really fulfill their promises. The first to give her a truly safe space.

We know Lucy had this place before Jackson moved in, so she could make the rent on her own. Taking on a roommate was more for Jackson than it was for her.

So, after his death, she likely took it all back on herself and didn't charge Tamara a thing to live there. Lucy really has taken on a motherly role with Tamara—giving her space to grow and heal.

And, oh, who knows more about that than Lucy Chen? With Tamara, Lucy has created an environment she wishes she'd had growing up—one filled with love and acceptance.

But that doesn't mean she won't check in. Good moms do, right?

"Are you okay here?" "Yeah. Yeah. I'm good." "Okay. Alright."

Melissa O'Neil nails the "mom tone" of not-quite-believing-you-but-letting-you-go-because-she-doesn't-have-enough-info-to-hold-you-back

"Hey. Are you okay?" "No."

Tamara hugs her mom—melting into her because it's too fucking much. And Lucy Chen is there to hold her adoptive daughter, to give her the support she needs, to never crowd, but always make herself available.

Whenever she gives Tamara a sibling, that's gonna be the cutest family ever, right!?

Chris is Full Squick

I've heard there were people who really liked him for her at some point. And more power to them. But, for me, he reminds me of some of my mom's exes and it's not a good comparison.

Like, there were guys who'd buddy up to us because they wanted to sleep with my Mom. That's what this whole scenario feels like, because I didn't see any real change indicated in Chris that makes this choice make sense.

It feels like Tim's helping this kid hoping to win favor with Lucy in a manipulative manner. And I could be reading way too much into it. But this scene made me mad uncomfortable the first time I watched it.

"Thank you." "For?" "Everything. For all your help. For this bed. For getting justice for Becca." "You did that." "And thanks for helping me leave it all behind. Because if it weren't for you, I probably would have ended up like Becca eventually."

"There but for the grace of God go I." I've thought this so often in my life—that if not for the kindness of others, we would have lost everything.

My husband was laid off the same day I had the preparatory internal ultrasound for our fourth IUI. We've been trying to get pregnant for several years with no success, but the doctors were optimistic.

We literally had 12 hours to decide if we were going through with the insemination, because I had to give myself an ovidrel shot that night. We talked about it, prayed on it, and went for it.

Twins. Twin baby boys who were the greatest gifts after years of heartache. But how could we provide for them on my income alone?

We worked through it during my maternity leave. Matthew's parents had sponsored him to return to school to get his teaching license. He was a few months away from graduation, and I was prepped to go back to work. We had a plan.

Until I almost died when the twins were 9 weeks old. A life-saving surgery and weeks of recovery later, we had twins on specialized formula we couldn't afford because I could no longer breastfeed.

My father took us in. I paid mortgage on an empty house for 10 months while we turned off the utilities so we could afford the boys' formula. So many people stepped in to help us, to give to get preemie clothes for the boys, to help with the medical bills.

The NICU completely forgave the $45,000 facility bill, leaving us only with the $77,000 doctors' bill, which was mostly covered by insurance. It took us 2 years to pay off our portion on monthly plans for my sweet Middle's 12-day stay.

But... imagine all that without my father, without our friends, without the doctor who saved my life, without the local twin organization that donated formula and toys to the kids, without the pediatricians' office that donated formula to us, without the stranger who saw us walking and handed me $50 when I couldn't afford groceries...

I've seen the other side. I've heard stories of people who tragically lacked the support we had. There but for the grace of God go I.

Tamara's situation is completely different, of course... except that someone who owed her nothing came alongside her to give the support only she could give.

Lucy saw a "girl in trouble" and became her lifeline. She became her family. She became her home.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. You're safe."

"Safe". Lucy and Tamara's whole relationship began because Tamara stole Lucy's safe place—her car. But as soon as Lucy saw someone needed "safe" more, she parted with her safe space.

Now, "safe" is a warm bed and a door that locks, and someone who cares about her. That's what Lucy wanted for Tamara from the very beginning, right?

She wanted this girl who had struggled not because of her own actions, but because of her parents' choices... to be safe.

"But at some point, you might wanna talk to someone before it sneaks up on you."

Lucy knows a lot about trauma, and Tamara knows it. I think that's part of what makes Lucy's statement here so powerful. It's not hollow, filled with the thoughts of someone who thinks they know better. Lucy is the voice of experience, here.

And she's trying to pass the wisdom down to her daughter without Tamara having to go through the pain Lucy did to learn it. Isn't that what we all try to do as parents?

We try to guide our kids to not make our same mistakes, but also give them the knowledge and wisdom we gained when we did.

Feeling a little sentimental on this one. Those of you who've been around know that while I thought Chenford was "cute" at first glance, I wasn't really hooked from moment one. But I was hooked on Tamara and Lucy's relationship.

I was so badly bullied in school. So lonely. So once I was a Senior, I found Sophomores to adopt. They were my girls, and nobody better mess with them, because I was a Senior, and I finally had some power. I was determined to use it for good.

I've stayed in touch with all three. One's married with three beautiful boys. One is married with two sweet, super smart kids. And the other is engaged to the love of her life, and gearing up to be a kickass stepmom. They've gone completely different directions in their careers and lives, and I'm so damn proud. They've all made their way.

Some of the greatest things we can give others are our time and attention—our compassion and empathy.

Watching Lucy give this girl the home she wishes she'd had, the security and safety to knows Tamara lacked, and the Found Family that often sticks closer than blood... it struck a nerve. A good one.

Thank you so much for reading this little Meta, and to the folks who requested 4x11. Can't wait to see you on the next!

[thestobingirlie]

Hello to start with I was concerned about where u went but then realised oh new username excellent crisis averted...

ALSO the main reason I'm in ur inbox is I need a little shitty steve characterisation vent so here goes:

I keep coming across (accidentally) those characterisations of steve (in steddie context) where he's like "i love to be subby and give up control bc I've always had to be in control and it's a relief to take a break from this." And like. canonically steve is the one whose autonomy is always the most hijacked like he's just dragged along with the major plot decisions everyone else makes - i remember a beautiful piece of meta i read a while back that summarised its point in a line like "steve hasn't made a single decision for himself since he chose to go back in the byers house in s1."

Also i believe you've discussed a bunch in the past (or one of your mutuals did?) that he is very much a take charge kind of guy, taking as an example all the russian base shenanagins and his role in those.

And that plus societal/peer/parental pressure (particularly during 'king steve time') to be a certain kind of guy and live a certain way makes me think in fact he would be the complete OPPOSITE??? In regards to needing to give up control if anything I think he'd want to take it back (both in a life decisions and potentially in Sexy Situations kind of way).

Optional extra point that i change my mind on back and forth, in the particular context of steddie I'd almost put eddie (if you had to place them into this specific d/s retaking/giving up control dynamic which you absolutely don't have to) into that characterisation of feeling relief in not having to be in control, as he's the one always having to constantly push back against society and assert his "freakishness."

Long rant over, thank you for always being the blog I can click onto and scroll if I want to read a salty accurate take about fandom characterisations!!

glad you were able to find me again! honestly it’s still kinda crazy to me that people like… recognise my username and seek me out lmao.

i will always be here for some salty takes. you know that post that’s like, what if my hobby is being a hater? literally me.

oh i love that line! yeah, i think it’s really interesting how steve has increasingly not had any control over the direction that his life is going in. he’s a character that is very much so at the mercy of others. like, thinking about the last two seasons, he was tied up and beaten, then strangled and eaten. even looking at the very way that he’s getting injured, it’s all something that he couldn’t fight against!

getting back on topic tho, yeah, i really dislike the super subby idea of steve that is incredibly pervasive throughout the steddie fandom. it just feels so out of character. like, obviously sexual preferences don’t necessarily have to align with a persons personality, but they just really aren’t writing about steve anymore.

yeah no i agree, steve has admitted that he went along with shit in high school because he wanted to be perceived a certain way, so i think it would make more sense that he would want to take that control back in any way he could, be himself in a way he couldn’t before. also. not to get crass, but steve just seems like someone that really enjoys giving, even in the bedroom. like, he wants to make sure the other person is having a good time. and so, i think it makes sense that he would want at least a little control over that.

yeah, i do not think d/s dynamics make sense for steddie’s relationship, and i think it’s kinda weird that people feel the need to make their sex very restrictive and kinky. but also i agree that i think it makes more sense for eddie to be… the not in control one. i also think eddie would like the feeling of being desired. like, eddie is an outcast, he’s a freak, even if he’s welcomed that role. i think he would definitely enjoy king steve being the one, kind of, reaching out and going after him, in that way.

but yeah, i do not like subby steve, and i think it’s weird the extent to which people have decided that steddie’s sex life has to involve kinks that often directly contradict their characters. obviously, enjoy what you enjoy and have fun writing smut, i just do not like it.

[drawmanations]

Tagged by @cyanichexanthine a while ago to list 9 favourite characters (ty for tagging me). This is very much late, my brain was just blanking. So, here's the list. It's in no particular order, apart from the first two

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)

You gotta expect Rick to be in here. RnM is my main fandom right now, and of course Rick would be a favourite character. He's sarcastic, snarky, an asshole and has a lot of emotional baggage.

I wouldn't say he's too complex, but definitely not simple.

2. Rick Prime (Rick and Morty)

Prime is very interesting. We somehow get so much information with how little time we have. Although, most of it may be headcanonning. Tbh, I think that's why he's fun, we can headcanon Prime bc of how little screentime he has when you step back and look at the series as a whole.

Of course, we do know a lot about him from what we were shown. Like he's also a snarky asshole who likes to toy with other people and mess with them. Even when he was dying he could still get under Rick's skin.

3. Louise Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Louise has that kind of chaotic energy I vibe with. I think she and Bob are two of the best characters in the show, though that's not saying the other characters are worse.

4. Peril (Wings of Fire)

Peril is a very complex character with a very fucked up past.

When she was young, her mother was forced to give her to Scarlet, where she was then forced to grow up as a killer. Scarlet was very much abusive and she was isolated from everyone and everything.

Because of that path, everyone sees her as a killing machine and nothing more. Her attachment to Clay is unhealthy because of him being the only dragon to hear her our and see her for who she is, a traumatized dragon who only knows how to kill because of how she was raised. And I guess her having firescales and him having fireproof saes helps with that.

I like Peril because of how complex she is. And I hate how some of the fandom is victim blaming her.

5. Ex-Queen Scarlet (Wings of Fire)

She's a villain. A queen. She slays. Scarlet is my favourite villain in wof. Her design with the melted face is awesome, I really love her sadistic attitude too, bc off course I do.

I would strangle Scarlet lovingly

6. Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Mom Steve is all I have to say, and the fandom will get me. (I think... I'm not in the stranger things fandom, I just watched the show).

At first, I hated Steve, I thought he was an asshole and I watched to punch him. Now, if he dies, I will punch my TV. I've never switched so quickly with my liking for a character between two seasons of a show. I think... idk I don't watch many shows.

7. Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Jim is a cold and distant person turned adopted parent and I love him for that.

I also thought I would hate him. He seemed like lazy dude who would do nothing during the case. (Fun fact, I thought all the adults would be clueless and I would only like the kids, since most shows are like that). But he actually steps up in a big way.

I was worried that they would fuck him up in season 3 with him trying to break up Mike and Eleven. But, they made up for it, and I cried at the end of season 3.

I love him and Steve sm. Pls don't die.

8. Clive (Littlebigplanet 2)

Okay, this may be a bit weird, but hear me out.

This man is the best character in lbp2. He's so fucking depressed and I love him. Clive and his world are my favourite in LBP2.

9. Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Best cartoon dad, hands down. He's so chill and actually pays attention to his kids. Plus he isn't rude, offensive or a baby waiting for his wife to clean up after him. He's just a dad trying to do his job while also having 3 (if Tina counts) chaotic kids.

One of my favourite characters in Bob's burgers, fr.

That's the list. Idk who to tag so uh-...

👍

[esotl]

Performance - Epilogue 1 (Part 24)

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Characters: Wataru, Hokuto, Tomoya, Shu, Nazuna, Mitsuru, Makoto, Adonis

Translation Directory

The performance will continue tomorrow, after all. Don't be satisfied with the current state of things, let's update it based on the areas of improvement we noticed while performing.

Location: Cafe

Wataru: Amazing! Great work, everyone~☆

This day's performance went off without a hitch thanks to you!

I'm truly grateful to all the staff and performers who got involved!

Today is my treat! Please, eat and drink to your heart's content, and replenish your energy for the performances to come! Cheers~!

Nazuna: Cheers~♪ Man, you really did well!

Tomo-chin, Mitsuru-chin, you did great! Usually when people I know appear in stuff like this, I end up laughing because I know what their usual behaviour is like♪

But this time I was immersed to the very end, I got really engrossed in it~♪ Seriously, that's a huge deal!

Tomo-chin's in the Drama Club, but who knew Mitsuru-chin had such a talent for acting?

Tomoya: Ahaha. Thank you~ though personally speaking, my performance was full of things to reflect on...

My screaming during the last scene in particular, that was my biggest highlight in the play, but I'm embarrassed because I feel something was missing.

Hokuto: I'd say you were exhausted by that point, so your voice didn't come out.

It didn't even feel like a scream. Though, I think using a sorrowful voice, like it's about to disappear, was good in its own way.

Wataru: Indeed. It somehow became advantageous. As the scenes went on, you got more immersed in your role, and gradually became better, Tomoya-kun~

You got a passing grade, you did your best.

Fufufu. Since you were saying pitiable things like "I don't think I can remember my lines" earlier, I was worried about you.

But in the end, you said all your lines yourself without relying on my substitution, didn't you?

That's my review. Well, there were still a lot of scenes where you weren't acting so much as you were "saying your lines", though.

Tomoya: Uu. Just when I thought you were complimenting me, in the end you're criticising me.

Wataru: It'd be an issue to be satisfied with this. Plus, while this may be a closing party for the staff, it's a review meeting for us.

The performance will continue tomorrow, after all. Don't be satisfied with the current state of things, let's update it based on the areas of improvement we noticed while performing.

Adonis: By the way, how many days will the performance last?

Nazuna: Ten, right? I'm pretty sure I remember that much being written on the promo poster...

The final performance is over a week away, if you're doing this every day I'm sure it'll be a relief when it's over.

Wataru: Well, part way through - tomorrow at the earliest - the members of the acting department who were off sick should be returning...

So each and every one of our burdens will suddenly decrease.

I truly was nervous... I was informed of the vacancies just this morning, so even I was at my wit's end.

Well, I was busy until the opening day, so I hadn't been dutifully keeping in touch with the other parties. It's my mistake.

How hopeless~ it's been a while since I've put on a proper performance, so my intuition has dulled.

Last year, particularly in the last semester, I was cut off from even the acting department, and was only able to do solo shows.

I was so accustomed to being isolated that even though there were vacancies among my associates, I was late to notice.

Hokuto-kun comes along even if I ignore him, so there's no need to contact him... Because of that, I forgot the elementary fact of theatre being a group activity.

Hokuto: Don't forget that. Also, contact people properly. I've also got plans of my own.

Makoto: Now now... But it's incredible that Hibiki-senpai was able to fill the vacancies by playing multiple roles by himself. And he acted so naturally, too-

If Itsuki-senpai hadn't pointed it out, I don't think I'd have noticed to the end.

Wataru: Oh my, so Shu suspected it after all?

Shu: Hmph... Just who do you think I am?

Wataru: I think of you as a kindred spirit, an existence equal to mine, my old friend.

Fufufu. Though, while performing multiple roles by myself isn't an impossibility, it isn't very fun...

I couldn't polish any of the roles outside of my original one, so the result was dissatisfying.

Should I recruit actors from outside the Drama Club and acting department next time?

Like with Mr "Bad Boy"... whoops, I mean, Tenma-kun this time.

As idols, there must be many children who wish to learn and try out acting.

Following after those kinds of people is more difficult than performing alone, but it makes me happy.

I want to invite people like the right-hand man~ and Eichi, too♪

Shu: I thought I noticed him, though. Tenshouin was nonchalantly sat in the audience.

Wataru: Right. I shivered at the thought of him scolding me with "stop neglecting your idol work to only immerse yourself in theatre".

He had a somewhat dissatisfied expression the who~le time.

Shu: Hmph. When it comes to Tenshouin, he wants you to be an idol, doesn't he...

I don't want to speculate what that person feels, but if he's dissatisfied, all I can think is "serves you right".

"Come now Shu-kun, mind your manners! Using dirty language will dirty your soul too, you know?"

Mitsuru: Zzz, zzz...♪

Tomoya: Huh? I thought he was being quiet, Mitsuru's fallen asleep.

Hokuto: Haha. Of course he'll be worn out... How cute, sleeping with his stomach exposed.

Oh? The transfer student brought a towel. Do you intend to use it like a comforter?

It's true that we'll be continuing the performance tomorrow, it'd be an issue for him to fall ill.

Haha. Your eyes are red, were you crying?

Makoto: She's probably lost sleep due to being busier than usual, her hair seems damaged too... It's good to do your best at work, but treat your body carefully, okay?

Wataru: Right. Being an idol, a producer, or an actor are all occupations where your body is your most valuable asset♪

Nazuna: Haha. It wouldn't be a surprise if she was crying, though~ I also teared up a bit... Not because it moved me or anything, but because it was somehow super pitiful.

It was more of a hopeless tragedy than I thought it'd be, so it caught me off guard~?

Maybe I understood the author's feelings of wanting to reverse the tragedy of the play and give those children happiness.

[Act 10 • Directory • Epilogue 2]

[boy-above]

tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here

[gold-onthe-inside]

I think the thing that makes it the hardest for me to laugh about the "deviled-egging Jess's car" thing is the way it feels kind of like a slap in the face when I think about the end of Season 2. Like, the accident was this traumatic event that Rory and Jess went through TOGETHER, for which Jess felt so guilty that he left town, and Rory was the only one who stuck up for him, vehemently insisting to anyone who would listen that it wasn't Jess's fault, and fighting with her mother to defend him... She and Luke were the ONLY ONES who would stand by him! But now? Lorelai and Lane have decided that Jess doesn't "deserve" to have a car because he crashed Rory's, and Rory? Despite genuinely not caring about the car (she tried to talk Lane down at first), Rory is now gleefully aligning herself with the ranks of Townfolk Against Jess, because he's dating someone else. I know the show wants us to think it's funny, but it feels like a betrayal of the relationship they set up in the previous season, and it just makes me sad!

god, you’re so right. i mean, you’ve got a whole season where rory’s the first person who really believes in jess’s potential and actually communicates it to him. like sure, luke has faith in him too, but they’re both such terrible communicators. plus you have the whole town treating rory like she’s some naive little princess falling prey to the big bad wolf even though she’s the one who initiates everything in their relationship. she asks him to drive the car, she tells him to keep going instead of going back to the diner, she runs to new york to see him, she’s the one who kisses him and to have everyone, especially lorelai, blaming this bookish, magic-obsessed dork for “breaking” her daughter? to have taylor doose who knows nothing about the boy call him a walking disaster waiting to happen?

and like, you can’t even really blame rory for expecting jess to wait around for her because dean would have done that. and i know people give her shit for comparing jess and dean but like, that’s her first relationship ever. dean’s the standard and i don’t think she fully realises how toxic he was to her. and lorelai, who should really know better, encourages that standard. she just doesn’t expect to be treated any differently by jess and she definitely doesn’t realise that actually, she’s the jerk in this scenario, not until their argument in doose’s.

and for someone who’s entire life is about making up for the fact that she wasn’t an intentional child (consciously or unconsciously), i don’t think she wants to admit the fact that she’s in the wrong here. it’s definitely unconscious, but it’s there and it’s a pattern later on too where she does immoral things and justifies herself by pushing the blame on someone else. it’s also a trait you see in lorelai so you can see where she might have learned it from. to a certain extent, you can’t really fault rory for being immature, i mean, she’s like 16-17 and girls that age can be really self-centred.

but really, if you ask me, the fault is with lorelai. because she’s a 20-30 something year old woman devil egging a teenager’s car because her ex-boyfriend and baby daddy had another child. and then rubbing it in his face after. lorelai’s the one who should’ve stopped it. and i think that’s the crux of the issue with the whole my mom is my best friend thing. cause lorelai doesn’t know when it’s time to be a mom and when it’s time to be a best friend. it’s also what amuses me about her relationship with mrs kim because as a fellow immigrant, i too would be so completely weirded out by her.

and as for lane, omg they wasted such a huge opportunity to have her and jess be, maybe not friends, but at least a little close. like, lane canonically doesn’t have a lot of friends in school and jess is very particular about who he wants to hang around with. plus, being a new yorker, he can handle the racial diversity a lot better than a tiny town in connecticut. so they could’ve absolutely fleshed that relationship out. not to mention, they had a whole summer where they could’ve gotten along. lane could’ve been the one to reassure rory, to tell her that jess and shane are just a summer fling. it just could’ve been dealt with so much better, especially considering lane knew all the details of what happened and rory repeatedly told her the crash wasn’t jess’s fault.

as for the betrayal part, i do have to agree with you. i mean, i honestly don’t know what rory expected him to do. and i just keep thinking about ‘the girls that i like don’t give a damn about me’ and i wonder how long he waited. he’s in a town where no-one likes him and the one reason he came back just left to go to washington dc and he’s not gonna hold her back because he did promise she’d be the next christiane amanpour. and i wonder when he gave up on waiting. cause, again, he’s not the guy that initiates things. so even with shane and jess, i doubt he’s the one that started it. like even if you watch their scenes together, he’s never the one to start the kiss. and, by the way, rory makes no contact with jess whatsoever even when she does come back. she pretty much acts like the kiss never happened, and it’s not like she breaks up with dean (which imo she should’ve done before she left). so yeah, i’d be pretty goddamn hurt too.

if i could take a crack at that arc, i’d definitely add a little jess/lane being friends and luke maybe not being so up on jess for working at walmart. in fact, i’m surprised he isn’t more concerned about it. like i don’t know if it’s an american thing, but i’d be worried if my kid thought he needed to work at walmart to pay for a car. it also worries me how luke doesn’t know where he is half the time and how long he lets the walmart thing go on. but that’s for a different rant at a different time.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e1 pilot (w. eric kripke)

(this is a rewatch, so spoilers abound)

because my brain is jacked up, i'm weirdly anxious about rewatching the show even though that's been The Plan for months. i watched 15x20 a week (plus) ago and every time i think about starting over at the pilot and writing them up proper like i did around s4-5 onward, my chest kind of clenches up and i look for literally anything else to do. i am worried about having feelings that i'm not prepared to deal with. which is fucking ridiculous.

hold onto your butts, this is gonna be a long fucking post

i've mentioned before that babies in peril is my number 1 hard stop on media -- i stopped watching killing eve mid-episode because of one and never went back to it (i intended to but never happened, brain weasels make everything hard.) so i know the very first time i tried to watch spn (several years ago) i almost turned it off because of little baby sam. that first attempt at watching i wasn't actually fully paying attention, i had it on while i was doing other things and so i missed all the character stuff and only saw it as kind of a mid horror schlocky situation so i never finished the first season back then. when i gave it another go in early 2023, i was giving it my full attention.

one thing this show always got? the cutest, happiest, sweetest babies. 10/10 would recommend

already freaking out how young everyone is and happy clean shaven john is extra wild

demon growl sound effect / padalecki's accent & jerk bitch moment

hey, it's the first instance of the demon growl noise when mary's burning on the ceiling! ooh i'm gonna be even more insufferable about the musical score and sound effects now that i'm listening for it from the jump

also i have called padalecki's accent/speech pattern the crispy r based on some tiktok i heard describing it that way - i associate it with california (but these clips are almost the opposite where the R is getting almost eliminated but not in the boston accent way), and i'd say maybe it was a choice but i think he spoke this way in gilmore girls too? but anyway, his Rs are just very different and it's a very particular and kind of subtle accent that definitely doesn't carry through the entire series ("bear it" in the second clip, the "sorry" in the third). i mentioned it when they had a clip of a moment from 1x10 as well in the pre-ep recap for 5x09

really well done and effective effects on that fire in the nursery

♥️💔

so this picture made it out of the lawrence fire (it was on mary's nightstand) but not the stanford one? i don't recall it being in the collection

i never really understood where sam was supposed to be timeline-wise in college, other than he must not have graduated because it was october? so there's me googling when you take the LSAT. so he could have (assuming it hasn't changed that much since 2005) taken it in june or october of the calendar year before he graduated. all right so that makes sense now that i think about it for more than 30 seconds. so he didn't finish his last year really of his bachelor's. and he's 22. i think in that alex irvine john winchester diary novel thing (don't think that that's considered canon but that's a whole other can of worms), it said sam graduated high school at 19 instead of 18 so i think that would make things line up (someone made a timeline that also includes everything in that novel but the post is loudly wncest dni so i won't link it). i do know it was just a mistake that the pilot said sam had been gone 2 years.

the ever useful canon discrepancies article at superwiki:

One of the most frequently debated potential canon discrepancies. Here are the facts: - In the 1.01 Pilot, Sam is about to be interviewed for law school, which could work on the assumption that he's just about to finish a bachelor degree (4 years). Dean also says that he hasn't spoken to Sam in "nearly two years." - In 1.03 Dead in the Water, Dean tells Sam that he spent "Every day for two years with Dad, while you were going to pep rallies." - In 1.07 Hook Man, Dean says "So this is how you spent four good years of your life, huh?" when they are researching in the library. - The original promo dates Mary's death to September 13, 1985, consistent with Sam being twenty and having been at Stanford for two years but out of step with everything else in the series. Eric Kripke acknowledged during a panel at the 2006 William S. Paley Television Festival that they made a mistake in the script -- initially Sam was meant to be 20, then they aged him up to 22, but neglected to change Dean's line from "two years" to "four years." Therefore, it may have been the creators' intention that Sam has been at college for four years.

this is gonna take me approximately forever to rewatch episodes 🤪

keeping my eye out for hands for drawing. have a general idea of getting something early seasons to go in the set with the 15x20 hands.

SAM Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. DEAN Well, what was he supposed to do? SAM I was nine years old! He was supposed to say, don't be afraid of the dark.

classic john

SAM Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. SAM But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find. DEAN We save a lot of people doing it, too.

one thing i'm thinking about is how i definitely was under the impression that they really didn't know any other hunters until they start getting mentioned here and there (dropping bits of backstory about working jobs with xyz while sam was at school etc), and that they barely knew anything about demons. so i'm curious to see how much of that is me misremembering

SAM You think Mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors. DEAN So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? SAM No. Not normal. Safe. DEAN And that's why you ran away. SAM I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing.

classic john x2. i know it's the pilot, i know they're bombing us with backstory like they need to, but i'm just like. everything about this ends up being pretty essential to understanding them and how they were raised it's so much 😩

DEAN I can't do this alone. SAM Yes you can. DEAN Yeah, well, I don't want to.

excuse me while my heart breaks into little bits. i knew that line in 15x20 was a callback to this, and it was heartbreaking then too. well actually it makes feel slightly ill rereading that scene from the finale. too emotionally invested

DEAN It started happening more and more, so Dad went to go dig around. That was about three weeks ago. I hadn't heard from him since, which is bad enough. DEAN Then I get this voicemail yesterday. He presses play. The recording is staticky and the signal was clearly breaking up. JOHN Dean...something big is starting to happen...I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger.

so he coulda like. told dean he was ditching him for his safety in this sketchy vague voicemail, but then of course we wouldn't have them chasing him down with quite the same mystery. it's just kind of comical.

like this post puts it:

spn season 1 is so funny. they made the main plot line finding sam and dean’s missing father. but like. the guys not missing. he’s just avoiding them.

i'm sure (i hope???) every rewatch post isn't going to turn into a dissertation like this. good grief

hey. i was gonna mention that music was quite inoffensive and not bad at all and was about give old jay a pat on the back, but no! it's christopher lennertz lol. my ear always knows. so that's the originator of the demon growl sound

SAM It's the greatest hits of mullet rock. DEAN Well, house rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. SAM You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. SAM It's Sam, okay?

i mean so many classic interactions i can't handle it. also, real shame netflix didn't/wouldn't get the licensing for the music originally aired. i have the blurays but i'm down a functional bluray player so here i am, watching on netflix with shitty replacement music yet again. that scene should have had ramblin man and back in black. travesty. back when they splashed out for the good licensed music (and i usually was on board with lennertz's selections)

the comment about them being a little young for federal marshals (also in their kinda scruffy clothes lol) and wikipedia says:

Marshals Service hiring is competitive and comparable to the selection process for Special Agent positions in agencies with similar duties. Typically fewer than five percent of qualified applicants are hired [citation needed] and must possess at a minimum a four-year bachelor's degree or competitive work experience (which is usually three or more years at a local or state police department).

so i mean, sounds like it's doable! barely. (i'm not even halfway through the episode lol)

stepping on dean's foot, smacking sam's head. very good sibling stuff

meanwhile we're gonna pop jackles in some bomb ass golden hour lighting so we can get his pretty, pretty face looking even prettier. lighting doesn't match any other part of the scene, but if you can get them lit up in it, we're using it!

SHERIFF Can I help you boys? DEAN No, sir, we were just leaving. As the FBI AGENTS walk past DEAN, he nods at each of them. DEAN Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.

respect to the og (that was the show of my youth and my forever otp and also my first impression of sam and dean's relationship was mid-run mulder and scully)

s1e1 r.d. call as sheriff pierce / the x-files s1e18 as sheriff daniels

oh! and this sheriff was a sheriff in an xfiles episode, that's even better! that's brilliant. love to see it

those jeans and before dean had his signature logger boots which i didn't apparently really notice until s6

DEAN Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles. I'm Dean, this is Sammy.

uncles??? lol

another thing i remember really liking is these random girls aren't like.. tv pretty makeup. they're just random gothy girls with stark harsh eye makeup and lipstick and matte heavier foundation. like real people do! it just makes it feel more grounded in reality to me when not everyone's makeup is tv-perfect

y'all. look at this! so i have talked a lot about the computer stuff, whenever there's a screen (in any show i'm watching) i'll pause and check out the veracity. teen wolf had laughably fake web page mockups. and one thing i do recall noticing in this episode was real webpage urls! and even in the printouts which comes later. which they did not do consistently in spn seasons after this at all until much later

classic. truly. more smacks and shoves. it's okay, sammy. i also am a little bit of a control freak especially when it comes to computer stuff. JUST LET ME DO IT.

DEAN Monday. Right. The interview. SAM Yeah. DEAN Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl? SAM Maybe. Why not? DEAN Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done? SAM No, and she's not ever going to know. DEAN Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.

dean's got a point there. which reminds me, did blurry wife know the truth? i remember there was some blurb about the story behind sam's kid having the anti-possession tattoo

wiki to the rescue

Though Sam's son has an anti-possession tattoo on his arm, there are no other signs of hunting in Sam's life after he leaves the Bunker. Jared confirmed at the November StageIt panel that Sam has not been hunting "in honor of Dean" because Dean wouldn't have wanted him to, but that Sam did tell his son about hunting and about his Uncle Dean, and that the decision to get the tattoo was Dean II's.

so probably yes?

(hands)

SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life. DEAN You have a responsibility to— SAM To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.

oh, sam. these early days he was chafing so hard against what other people wanted him to do. also relatable. and if only we knew about mary🥴

sam enjoying dean's predicament

SAM Salt, cat's eye shells…he was worried. Trying to keep something from coming in.

cat's eye shells?? don't think that ever got mentioned again

LOL okay, so the url isn't perfect 😂 missing forward slashes and no underscores in domain names, but they tried!!

huh. another family picture i don't recall seeing again. kind of backwards, longer brown hair on supposedly dean and short lighter hair on supposedly sam

so did dean grab john's leather jacket at this point? since he showered and changed in john's motel room. i hadn't thought about that. huh

SAM You can't kill me. I'm not unfaithful. I've never been! CONSTANCE You will be. Just hold me.

i know this comes up in fic periodically but i don't think that went anywhere, like the cat's eye shells

LOL i didn't remember that the woman in white resolution was her ghostly murdered children conveniently take her out

DEAN Hey, if we shag ass we could make it by morning. SAM Dean, I, um... DEAN You're not going. SAM The interview's in like, ten hours. I gotta be there. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home.

there's so many moments in this episode that i've seen in gifs and didn't realize were all from the pilot. but it's really interesting to me to see how like.. the show really kind of pushed how much dean needed/wanted sam and sam was resisting, and how i think it really set up dean as the more "likeable" character initially, along with showing off his pretty face and charm and all that. on a brain-characterization level, i always relate more to sam but i was definitely charmed by dean initially.

SAM Call me if you find him? SAM And maybe I can meet up with you later, huh? DEAN Yeah, all right. DEAN Sam? DEAN You know, we made a hell of a team back there. SAM Yeah.

the only thing that i think makes this episode not quite paced right is how they crammed jess dying at the end and the we've got work to do thing. it felt really rushed and slapped on. but other than that, what a great pilot. ranks up there with the hannibal pilot