#Pretty Boy - Chapter 6 - 07

[jtl-fics]

yes hello it is a very hard choice to make but i'd like to request pretty boy please

1/15/25 WIP Wednesday (CLOSED) | Pretty Boy

She blinks a bit in surprise, it is quite a thing to say when the question was “How have you been this week Andrew?” Regardless, it was an honest one. His week was consumed by thoughts about his first time with Neil and his first failure at achieving it.

“It’s a huge step for you to take Andrew, to want to be with someone like that. I know last year you had told me that you weren’t interested in anything beyond what you were currently doing.” She says without a hint of embarrassment or judgement.

Andrew nods. He had really thought that there wasn’t anything more to want, even when he’d been physically interested in Neil all he had wanted out of that was a few rounds of sucking Neil’s dick to get it out of his system. That clearly hadn’t worked out well for Andrew because he finds himself only wanting more the more that he does with Neil.

Which might be part of the problem.

3/5/25 WIP Wednesday HERE

[moncherriecoups]

"Like clouds kissed by the sun, some people leave behind a color you can’t name."

✧ moon junhui x f!oc

✧ kwon hoshi x f!oc

✧ summary: She came to Seoul to escape—what she found instead was him. Jun, unreadable and magnetic. Hoshi, warm but just out of reach. As feelings blur and moments slip by, Min Ah realizes not everything beautiful is meant to last. Some storms come softly. Some leave a mess behind.

✧ word count: 3.4k

✧ tags: emotional angst, fleeting connection, unresolved tension, office romance, love triangle, slow burn, banter, eventual smut

✧ warnings: one-night stand, heartbreak themes, drinking, suggestive scenes, alcohol use, suggestive content, emotional pining, sexual scenes

✧ MINORS DNI

Chapter 6

Wednesday, 10:34 AM – Artois Office

Min Ah had been staring at her laptop screen for exactly twenty-seven minutes and thirteen seconds. She knew because she had blinked once at 10:07, then never again. Her pupils were probably dry.

It wasn’t creative block. No, she had ideas.

The problem was every idea led to Jun.

And not the polite, clean-cut, slightly awkward Quantix finance bro version. But last night’s Jun. The Jun who had whispered filth in her ear while pulling her head back by her hair and fucking her so deep her eyes rolled.

Her cheeks burned. She physically had to squeeze her thighs together under the desk.

The cursor blinked on the Figma mockup like it was judging her. “New Client Rebranding Proposal” it said. Cute. Clean. Professional.

But all she saw was the exact moment Jun had gripped her hips, breath hot against her neck, and said—

“God, I missed this pussy.”

And it was only last night.

She was sober, very sober, and very aware of everything. Which made it worse. Or better. Depending on how one looked at it.

Jun’s cock—oh, fuck— She had finally gotten a clear, undrunk look at it, and she was right: it was huge. Not just long, but thick. The kind of size that made you wonder if your body would actually survive. And yet somehow, she had taken all of him. Every goddamn inch.

She shuddered.

God. The first time he pushed into her last night—slow, deep, almost reverent—she almost cried. She didn’t know a body could feel that full. That stretched. That worshipped.

“I want to watch your face when I fill you up,” he’d whispered. “I want to see you fall apart.”

And oh, he did. He watched. He stared at her like she was something holy.

“Okay,” she muttered under her breath, tapping her keyboard. “Focus. Please focus.”

Her file hadn’t moved. Her hand hadn’t even clicked anything.

And just when she thought she might be getting back on track, she remembered that moment.

The moment she climbed on top of him, straddling his waist, and Jun looked up at her like she was the entire fucking galaxy. His hands had slid up her thighs, stopping at her waist as she sank down on him slowly, inch by glorious inch. She’d felt him twitch inside her when she moaned his name.

And his face?

That gorgeous, flushed face, eyes glazed over, lips parted, like he couldn’t believe she was real. He kept whispering—

“So pretty, so fucking tight, you feel like heaven—”

—until she ground down hard enough to make him curse and dig his fingers into her skin.

She’d never felt more powerful in her life.

He let her ride him at her own pace. Let her take control. Let her tease. Let her push him to the edge over and over again until he finally begged.

“Please—Min Ah, I’m gonna come—fuck—”

And she’d smirked.

She actually smirked as she leaned down and whispered, “Then be a good boy and give me your birthday gift.”

Jesus Christ. Who was she?

Her whole body tingled just remembering it. Even her toes curled.

“You’ve been zoning out,” Dahyun said, suddenly leaning on the side of her desk. “That blue box’s gonna sue you for harassment.”

“I’m working,” Min Ah said flatly, rotating the shape exactly three degrees.

“You were hovering like it’s giving you life advice,” Eunji muttered from her seat. “Is it telling you your star sign compatibility too?”

“I’m refining the layout,” Min Ah insisted, avoiding their stares.

“Refining your fantasies maybe,” Dahyun grinned. “Come on, you’ve been floating since yesterday.”

Min Ah sighed. “Why are you all so obsessed with my life?”

“Because we’re emotionally under-stimulated and your life is more exciting,” Eunji said. “Now tell us: is it your not-a-date with Hoshi-oppa you’re thinking about?”

As if summoned, Hoshi’s head popped up from across the room. “Did someone say my name?”

“We were just wondering how your candlelit rendezvous went,” Dahyun said with faux innocence.

“There were no candles,” Min Ah muttered, cheeks already warming.

“But there were giggles,” Eunji added. “I heard you two in the pantry this morning.”

“We were not giggling,” Min Ah said, scandalized.

“I was,” Hoshi admitted cheerfully. “But I do that a lot.”

Mr. Kim passed behind them and tossed in, “Just don’t start filming TikToks as a couple. One office ship is enough chaos.”

“Wait, we’re a ship?” Hoshi turned to Min Ah, eyes wide and too pleased.

“No, we are not a ship,” Min Ah said firmly, resisting the urge to hide under her desk.

Eunji smirked. “You know how it goes. First it’s casual dinners, then subtle glances, then confession outside a pojangmacha while it’s raining.”

“I give it two more team dinners,” Dahyun said thoughtfully.

“Three,” Hoshi replied, totally playing along.

Min Ah glared at him. “You’re not helping.”

Eunji didn’t miss a beat. “We’re romantics.”

Min Ah turned back to her screen with a dramatic sigh, hoping the blue rectangle would absorb her soul.

But then—

“You’re blushing again,” Dahyun whispered. “Hard.”

“She’s been glowing since she walked in,” Eunji added. “What did you do, Hoshi?”

“I just exist,” he said innocently, folding his arms and leaning on her desk divider. “Min Ah’s the one staring into space like she’s got a secret.”

She laughed awkwardly, but inside, she was combusting.

Because it wasn’t Hoshi.

It was Jun.

The image slammed into her brain, again, like a freight train: His mouth against her ear, low and rough—

“You look so pretty like this. Taking it all like a good girl.”

God. Her skin still buzzed. The way he filled her—deep, deliberate, unrelenting—like he had all the time in the world and wanted to ruin her slowly.

And now she was here, pretending to care about packaging layout while her body still remembered every inch of him.

Her eyes darted to her phone.

Still nothing.

No text. No meme. No “good morning.” Not even a stupid “you alive?” message.

He was probably busy. Quantix was chaos during budget week, right? She swallowed, fingers tightening slightly on her mouse.

“You’re smiling again,” Eunji said without looking. “Absolutely repulsive.”

Min Ah forced a laugh. “Would you prefer I cry?”

“Only if Hoshi gets to wipe your tears and whisper something like ‘come here, angel.’”

Hoshi perked up immediately. “Wait, I can do that.”

“Do not,” Min Ah warned, flinging a paperclip at him.

“You’re just scared of your feelings,” he teased, easily dodging.

“And you’re scared of commitment.”

“Same difference,” he shrugged, beaming.

Mr. Kim passed by again and sighed. “I should start charging rent for all this drama.”

“Make them pay in TikToks,” Eunji replied.

As laughter echoed through the room, Min Ah slumped deeper into her seat—smiling, laughing, pretending.

But all the while, her thoughts stayed locked on the silence in her inbox.

And the boy who’d ruined her for rectangles.

—

Lunch was supposed to be a break.

But with the Artois marketing team, it was more like entering a tornado with a dress code. Loud, chatty, chaotic—their energy bounced off every surface as they walked together toward the elevators, hijacking the hallway like a sitcom ensemble.

Min Ah stayed in the middle of the group, nodding along, but not entirely in it. Her eyes were glazed over, her smile distracted. She hadn’t even noticed when Hoshi held the door open for her until he cleared his throat dramatically.

“Your Highness,” he said with an exaggerated bow.

“Oh—” Min Ah blinked and stepped through, flushing. “Sorry. Brain’s still booting.”

“Still?” Eunji asked, already eyeing her suspiciously. “You’ve been zoning out since 9 a.m.”

“Maybe it’s the post-meeting coma,” Dahyun offered helpfully, sipping her iced americano like it was laced with tranquilizer.

“Or,” Eunji leaned in, narrowing her eyes at Min Ah, “she’s lovesick.”

“Here we go,” Min Ah muttered, half-laughing.

Manager Kim, ever the enabler, perked up. “Lovesick? Who is it? Who’s the lucky guy?”

“No one,” Min Ah said quickly.

“Oh c’mon,” Dahyun nudged her. “You’ve been all floaty today. Not even my excellent memes got a proper reaction from you.”

“Maybe she’s hiding a boyfriend,” Manager Kim gasped, clutching his chest dramatically.

“She has been spending a lot of time with Hoshi,” Eunji pointed out, very casually not being casual.

Min Ah snorted. “Please.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Hoshi said, feigning offense. “I’m hot, employed, I have two air fryers—”

“—and the attention span of a squirrel,” Dahyun finished.

“Don’t forget I’m your team leader,” Hoshi said, shaking a finger. “Respect your elders.”

“Elder? You're like five minutes older than me,” Dahyun muttered, and the entire group burst into laughter.

As they approached the elevator, the teasing didn’t let up.

“You’d make a cute couple though,” Manager Kim added. “Like a rom-com—sunshine girl meets neon boy.”

“I vote wedding in the spring,” Dahyun said. “Sakura trees. Pastel theme.”

“Let me finish onboarding first, jeez,” Min Ah said, cheeks warm with secondhand embarrassment.

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open.

Inside were three men.

Min Ah’s stomach dropped.

Wonwoo, arms crossed, leaned casually against the wall. Mingyu, tall and effortlessly glowing like he’d been cast in golden hour, stood near the buttons, scrolling through his phone. And beside him—

Jun.

His expression was unreadable. He didn’t blink when the doors opened. Just stepped slightly to the side to make room, his eyes flickering—once—to the group stepping in.

And then away.

The chatter from Artois dimmed immediately, like someone had hit a mute button.

Eunji let out the tiniest squeak. Dahyun’s eyes widened when she saw Mingyu. Manager Kim coughed into his fist, adjusting his glasses. Even Hoshi fell quiet, nodding politely as he stepped inside first.

Min Ah followed, heartbeat loud in her ears.

She could feel him.

Even without looking.

He was standing close enough to touch, just one polite body-width away, but the air between them felt thick. Tense. Like walking into a room that still smelled faintly of last night.

Min Ah focused on the elevator doors, trying not to let her thoughts spiral.

But her skin was already remembering—his mouth on her neck, his fingers on her waist, the raw sound he made when she moved on top of him. How his eyes had darkened when he whispered her name in the dark.

And now, he wouldn’t even look at her.

Jun could feel the weight of her presence beside him. Every tiny movement—how she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, the way her hair tickled the air between them—registered with such sharp clarity it almost hurt.

He kept his hands in his pockets.

Steady.

Don’t look.

She was laughing with them earlier. Smiling like nothing happened. Hoshi stood in front of her like he always did, his voice teasing, light, loud. They looked good together, in that effortless, picture-perfect way—bright colors, matching steps.

Jun hated how much it affected him.

He didn’t want to feel it. That irrational possessiveness. That heat crawling up his chest when he saw her laughing at someone else’s joke. Someone else's touch brushing her arm casually like it meant nothing.

He didn’t like this version of himself. But now that she was standing here, close enough to touch, he realized just how badly he already wanted her to be his.

The elevator dinged again.

Ground floor.

Everyone filed out slowly. Jun kept walking, didn’t glance back. Mingyu and Wonwoo followed, still silent.

Behind him, he heard someone say something about lunch spots. Laughter. Hoshi’s voice again.

But he didn’t look back.

He couldn’t.

—

Wednesday, 12:47 PM - Lower Ground Cafetaria

The food court smelled like garlic, beef, and capitalism. A well-known battlefield of lunch-hungry professionals and the chronically indecisive. Jun followed Mingyu and Wonwoo through the crowd, trying to focus on the mundane—tile floors, neon menus, an overworked ahjumma slamming tteokbokki trays onto a counter. Anything but the ghost of her perfume still clinging to his skin.

He hadn’t even looked at her in the elevator. Not really.

Just one glance. That was all he’d allowed himself. Because if he looked longer, he was afraid he wouldn’t stop.

“Dude, you’re walking like you just got dumped,” Mingyu said, glancing over his shoulder as they navigated toward the table already half-claimed by Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol.

“I wasn’t dumped,” Jun muttered.

“So you were dating someone?” Joshua quipped from where he was peeling the label off his bottled tea.

“No,” Jun said too fast, dropping into the empty seat beside Wonwoo. “I mean. No one was dating anyone.”

“Ominous,” Jeonghan said dryly. “This better not be another situationship. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to coach you through one more.”

Mingyu slid into his seat, unbothered. “Don’t worry. He’s already in the final boss stage—‘quiet and mysterious heartbreak.’”

“I’m just tired,” Jun said.

“You’re never quiet at lunch,” Seungcheol said without looking up from his bulgogi bowl. “You and Mingyu usually lead the gossip circle.”

“That’s rude,” Mingyu said, offended. “I’m an informant. There’s a difference.”

“You just want to know who’s sleeping with who,” Joshua said. “And who bought a Dyson last week.”

“Okay but Da Mi from floor 11 got the pink one,” Mingyu said, eyes lighting up. “That’s commitment. It’s like a million won.”

Wonwoo finally spoke. “We’re deflecting.”

Everyone looked at Jun again.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just don’t feel like talking.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “What did she say to you in that elevator?”

“Nothing.”

Mingyu leaned in. “And that’s the problem, right?”

Jun said nothing.

Because yeah. That was the problem.

The silence was worse than anything she could’ve said.

He remembered how close she’d stood. The scent of her hair. The slight brush of her arm when the elevator jolted slightly. The way she didn’t look at him—didn’t need to look at him—because she was already laughing at something Hoshi said.

Bright. Easy. Natural.

She glows when she’s with them.

And Jun hated that he noticed.

He hated more that it hurt.

“Alright,” Jeonghan finally said, spearing a piece of radish with unnecessary precision. “Let’s take bets. Did Jun catch feelings again?”

“I say yes,” Mingyu said immediately.

Joshua held up a finger. “Counter-bet: he caught feelings, then panicked, then convinced himself she deserves better.”

Jun didn’t say anything.

Seungcheol smirked. “So we’re all correct.”

“Look,” Mingyu said, nudging his arm. “She looked at you. We all saw it.”

“She was being polite,” Jun said.

“She almost dropped her phone when she stepped in.”

“Which also could’ve been because of Mingyu,” Wonwoo added. “He was standing like a golden retriever with a finance degree.”

“Thank you, but you’re not helping.” Mingyu said.

But Jun’s heart wasn’t in it.

Because all he could think about was how effortless it was for her to exist in that Artois circle. That noise, that energy—it suited her. Bright laughter, inside jokes, casual teasing, office banter.

Meanwhile, he was quiet. He was moody. He disappeared for days at a time without warning. His emotions dug too deep, too fast. He didn’t know how to keep things casual.

She deserves freedom.

That thought had been echoing since the moment he saw her again in the elevator. Since the way her smile didn’t waver when she spoke to someone else.

She deserves fun. Lightness. Someone who makes her laugh ten times a day and sends her dumb memes and knows the right things to say.

He wasn’t that guy.

Even now, he was sitting in the middle of six people and still felt alone.

He stabbed at his rice half-heartedly.

“Jun,” Jeonghan said, mouth full of kimchi. “If you keep sulking like that, you’re going to give me a rash.”

“You’re not even allergic to emotions,” Joshua pointed out.

“I am when they’re this obvious.”

Jun exhaled and leaned back in his chair. “I’m just… confused.”

“No, you’re not,” Wonwoo said gently. “You’re just scared.”

Jun looked at him, surprised.

Wonwoo rarely spoke unless he meant it.

“I’ve seen this version of you before,” Wonwoo continued. “That… situationship of yours? That girl who ghosted you after three months?”

“...I thought we agreed to never speak of her again.”

Wonwoo ignored him. “You spiraled the same way. You get too close, you panic. You shut down before anyone else can leave first.”

The table went quiet.

Even Mingyu didn’t crack a joke.

Jun swallowed hard. “I just don’t want to ruin it. Whatever it is.”

Joshua tilted his head. “Ruin it how?”

“By wanting too much.”

It was out before he could stop it. The raw, unpolished truth.

He wanted too much. Her attention. Her time. Her warmth. Her thoughts. Her body. Her voice first thing in the morning. Her sleepy texts. Her late-night calls.

He wanted to be the person she chose to lean on. Not just for a weekend. Not just for a night.

But that want came with risk. Need. Vulnerability. Things he wasn’t sure she’d welcome.

“I don’t want to be the reason she feels caged,” he mumbled.

Jeonghan blinked. “Bro. You’re not a jail cell. You’re a man with a big… heart.” He paused. “And apparently, according to the gossip, a big d—”

“Okay!” Jun cut in loudly. “Lunch is over. I’m going back upstairs.”

“Coward,” Mingyu called after him.

“Hopeless,” Jeonghan added.

“Take a probiotic!” Joshua chimed.

But Wonwoo just said, quietly, “You should talk to her.”

Jun didn’t respond.

He walked back toward the escalator, hands in his pockets, shoulders tense.

Because he wanted to.

God, he wanted to.

But if he opened the door to her again—if he let those feelings in—he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to close it.

And he wasn’t sure which would be worse:

Letting her go.

Or holding on.

— Friday, 9:42 PM – Min Ah’s Apartment

Three bungeoppang. Two already cold. One in her hand, soggy and half-eaten.

Min Ah lay curled on her bed in the dark, laptop paused on a scene from The Princess Diaries 2. She wasn’t watching. Just staring.

The only light in the room came from her phone screen. Which she had checked again. And again. And again.

Still nothing. No Jun.

Not even a reaction to her message from the night before: You alive?

It had been three days.

They’d seen each other briefly in the elevator on Wednesday—just a few seconds. A glance. Not even a word.

And since then, nothing. Not a single text. Not a single “good morning” or stupid meme or anything. It was like he vanished.

She flipped her phone over, face down. Sighed into the quiet.

He’d never even been to her apartment. Didn’t know she liked strawberry milk with ice cubes. Didn’t know she always cried at the same exact line in this movie. Didn’t know she named her plants after Disney princes.

And maybe now he never would.

What confused her wasn’t just the silence. It was the whiplash.

He’d looked at her like he meant it. Held her like he didn’t want to let go. And then—nothing.

She hated how much she checked her phone. Hated how it made her feel stupid. Small. Hopeful.

She wasn’t even sure what she wanted anymore. A reply? An apology? Closure?

The buzz of her phone snapped her out of it.

[Lee Dokyeom - Finance]

Not Jun. Of course not.

yo MIN AH saturday night. ur presence is IMPORTANT don’t ask hoshi surprise bday party. same club. u remember ;) we’re surprising him @ midnight bc his bday is sunday come around 10. wear something unhinged

Min Ah stared at the message. Same club. The one where it all began.

She swallowed.

Part of her didn’t want to go. Didn’t want the music, the crowd, the reminder.

But the other part— The part that still wanted to feel something— Clung to the distraction.

She texted back. okay. what if i wear a sweater with ducks Dokyeom replied, only if the ducks are smoking cigarettes DO NOT TELL HOSHI. I SWEAR TO GOD MIN AH also ily see u tmr

She cracked a small smile. It faded quickly, but still. It helped.

She placed her phone beside her pillow, lay back, and stared at the ceiling.

She wasn’t sure what had happened with Jun. She wasn’t even sure what they had been. But it was Friday night. And he hadn’t texted her back.

Maybe the party would help. Maybe it wouldn’t.

But at least at the party, she wouldn’t be alone in this silence.

Not completely.

— NOOO I MISSED HOSHI'S BIRTHDAY AAAAAA life has ben so hectic lately I didn't get a chance to update :((((

[une-sanz-pluis]

When I was writing this post about the relationship between Henry V and Thomas, Duke of Clarence, I did a lot of research. One of the things I was desperate to find but couldn't was the reference for what I noted down, many years before, in which Henry and Thomas were established under a tutor possibly at Bytham with their maternal grandmother.

Eventually, I found it in Amy Licence's Red Roses: From Blanche of Gaunt to Margaret Beaufort. Yes, the subtitle is silly, referring to Blanche of Lancaster, wife of John of Gaunt, as "Blanche of Gaunt" but I'd bet that was a publisher problem, not an author one, especially given how Licence's introduction makes clear she didn't want to call the book Red Roses. And yes, Licence has been a pretty unreliable historian who seems to give as much weight to Victorian historians as medieval chroniclers. But, hey, it's still the only book or article with a biography of Mary de Bohun. But trying to track down a source for that factoid, oh.

This is what Licence says about Henry and Thomas being set up under a tutor at 6 and 5 years old.

As her eldest boys, Henry and Thomas, turned 6 and 5 that autumn, they would have been under the instruction of a tutor and possibly established at Bytham, under their grandmother’s eye.

Okay. This has an endnote. What's the source?

Allmand.

No page number, no title, nothing. And Allmand isn't cited elsewhere in the chapter or in previous chapters to give me that information. So, let's go to the bibliography. The one work attributed to Allmand is

Allmand, Christopher, The Hundred Years’ War: England and France c.1300–1450 (Cambridge Medieval Textbooks, 2008)

Reader, I checked it. He doesn't mention anything about Henry V's upbringing. Thomas is only mentioned twice, in the context of his military career. The only Joan to be mentioned is Joan of Arc. There is absolutely nothing about this.

But Christopher Allmand wrote the standard biography of Henry V. Which, of course, I have and had already scoured for that information. So I checked it again. It does seem to be Licence's source but it doesn't say what she claims it says. It says:

In the absence abroad of their father, and after the death of their mother, they were placed in the care of their maternal grandmother, Joan, countess of Hereford, who lived at Bytham, in Lincolnshire.

Now, I don't know what Allmand's source is for this claim (it's not given a footnote and the next footnote focuses on the existence of their governess, Mary Hervy) but he does not say that Henry and Thomas were established under a tutor at ages 6 and 5 respectively and his phrasing could imply that he was dating their time at Bytham to after Mary's death, rather than before.

I initially confused the endnote for Licence's claim with the one above it, which was:

Mortimer in Shakespeare’s Henry IV.

This drove me mad. For the record, this is the source of two claims:

[Henry, Earl of Derby's] gift to his wife was a golden hind with a white enamelled body and wearing a golden collar.

and

The distance of around 10 miles between the village and castle represented around a day’s travel, based on estimates of Henry’s movements in 1406–07

This seems like a dubious source for such claims. But let's go to the bibliography. There's no Shakespeare cited there. Although Licence peppers her text with references to and quotations from Shakespeare's History plays, there is no citation of any edition of any play in her work. And the only reference to a work by "Mortimer" is Ian Mortimer's The Perfect King, a biography of Edward III. This can't possibly the source for statements about Henry IV's itinerary as king or the present he gave the wife he married some years after the death of Edward III.

Reader, I was and remain incredibly confused. I knew Ian Mortimer had written the program notes for the RSC's most recent production of Henry IV but these seemed such... niche factoids to be something you'd include in a short summation of the historical Henry's life. I wondered if Mortimer had contributed a longer essay for the RSC's own edition of the play text but could find nothing online about it so deemed it doubtful. I wasn't about to sit through the five minutes Mortimer spent telling us "if Shakespeare was honest about Henry IV" he'd have written Henry as David Beckham and Winston Churchill combined with dash of Even More Awesome in order to try and guess if this was Licence's source (I also knew those facts were true so I didn't need confirmation).

Instead, I came to the conclusion that Licence was probably citing Ian Mortimer's The Fears of Henry IV but had mucked up the citation and hadn't included it in her bibliography, like she hadn't included Allmand's biography of Henry V.

The vast majority of the sources in her notes are just "[Surname]". Some might have the title attached or some might be [Surname] in [Surname's] [Title]". None have a page number attached. The only one that gives you a book's author, title, publisher and publication date is when she cites her own book, In Bed With The Tudors. Which, to be fair, she doesn't list in the bibliography either.

Anyway, this has been driving me crazy but I've ranted enough now.

[90sloverwithinsomnia]

Fan Fic Master List:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hiatus~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Repost Old Kpop Fanfics:

Discussion about Some Old K-pop Fanfics - (06/08/2024)

These are some of many archived fanfics featuring 1st and 2nd Gen K-pop acts that I've come across recently. It's all in good fun, and maybe a bit cringeworthy!

The words in red are my thoughts on the fanfic, and I'll be ranking them out of 10 just for fun.

SM Town Out To Lunch (15/15) - (hgiel) Anrui, Kyorei, and Jacqui:

Separate from the saga, but a prelude none the less. DBSG has just made their debut, but their pretty boy singer is eating everyone in SM Town! Not even Junta's love can stop cannibalism.

I would recommend that 18+ read this fanfic.(4/10)

Part 1 - (06/08/2024)

Part 2 - (06/08/2024)

Part 3 - (13/08/2024)

Part 4 - (13/08/2024)

Part 5 - (20/08/2024)

Part 6 - (21/08/2024)

Part 7 - (21/08/2024)

Part 8 - (21/08/2024)

Part 9 - (22/08/2024)

Part 10 - (22/08/2024)

Part 11 - (22/08/2024)

Part 12 - (22/08/2024)

Part 13 - (22/08/2024)

Part 14 - (22/08/2024)

Part 15 Final - (22/08/2024)

Vol 1 - Battle of the Boy Bands (23/23)

K-Pop and DBSG just put out albums and have are on a reality show, hosted by Se7en, to promote it. It isn't fun though, because Junta is their baby sitters, and the romantic drama is as thick and annoying as 90210.

This work is suitable for teen and up audiences.

Chapter 1 - (31/08/2024)

Chapter 2 - (31/08/2024)

Chapter 3 - (31/08/2024)

Chapter 4 - (31/08/2024)

Chapter 5 - (31/08/2024)

Chapter 6 - (07/09/2024)

Chapter 7 - (10/09/2024)

Chapter 8 - (15/09/2024)

Chapter 9 - Put on Hold!

Vol 2 - Sarang Hae Nippon

The TV show is over, now its time to vacation in Japan! Who knew it was impossible to avoid join street gangs in the Godzilla's home country? TaeBin seems to steer clear of them, but he's busy, seeing as he's in a "family way".

Coming Soon!

Vol 3 - Battle of the Boy Bands Season 2

Its time for the second season, luckily, Se7en isn't the host, TaeBin is. The drama isn't any less this time, the only thing that's changed is the increased trips to the hospital.

Coming Soon!

Full Moon Entertainment (26/26) - hgiel

Moon Hee Jun has just left SM Town and is going to create his OWN boy band, one better then H.O.T ever was. Unfortunately, all he has is the already formed band K-Pop and the North Korean they hit with their car.

Inspired by Vol - Battle of the Boy Bands Season 2 that also by hgiel.

Coming Soon!

Ouija Bored (1) - hgiel

The guys celebrate Halloween by playing with occult tools.

This work is suitable for teen and up audiences. I don't know about his one, it was fun to read but wish it was a bit longer.(6/10)

Chapter 1 - Put on Hold!

Oh, You're In The Army Now (3/3) - hgiel

EVERY gasso seems to be in the army now, and the rest have gone to the dogs, or streets. North Korea takes this opening to attack, and Moon Hee Jun, UBin, Chang Ryul, Yoo Min, and Desuk have to save The Republic of Korea by themselves.

Coming Soon!

12 Steps of Christmas (12/12) - hgiel

The 12 hours of an H.O.T Christmas.

This work is suitable for all audiences. These will be scheduled to be posted on the 25th of December.

Chapter 1 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 2 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 3 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 4 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 5 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 6 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 7 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 8 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 9 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 10 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 11 - (25/12/2024)

Chapter 12 - (25/12/2024)

Last Goodbye (1) - hgiel

Woo Hyun is about to enter the army, so he and Young One meet one last time before he goes.

Coming Soon!

Armageddon The Hell Out Of Here (1) - hgiel

H.O.T face the end of the world...

This work is suitable for teens and up audiences. Again, I'm not shore about this one, but it was okay it reminds me of 'War on the world's'.(4/10)

Chapter 1 - (05/09/2024)

A secret that is kept to us (5/?) - 90s_love:

Angel White and Crystal Light are two mysterious vigilantes who is after to destroy the illegal terrorist organization, Dark Archive. With their friend spirits, they protect the world. Meanwhile, their alter-egos are famous Kpop idols who have a rivalry within their groups. Can they keep their secret identities a secret from them?

This work is suitable for all audiences. I'm not really shore about his one, probably because its not finished, but it was okay.(5/10)

Chapter 1 - (22/08/2024)

Chapter 2 - (23/08/2024)

Chapter 3 - (23/08/2024)

Chapter 4 - (23/08/2024)

Chapter 5 - (23/08/2024)

Switch Rivals (21/21) - 90s_love:

Modern version of the 90's kpop idol scene. H.O.T and Sechskies are forever rivals. But what will happen when one member from each team switch bodies?

This work is suitable for all audiences. By chapter 5, i was hooked, i really enjoyed this one. I might even read it again because of how good it was.(9/10)

Chapter 1 - (26/08/2024)

Chapter 2 - (26/08/2024)

Chapter 3 - (26/08/2024)

Chapter 4 - (26/08/2024)

Chapter 5 - (26/08/2024)

Chapter 6 - (28/08/2024)

Chapter 7 - (28/08/2024)

Chapter 8 - (28/08/2024)

Chapter 9 - (28/08/2024)

Chapter 10 - (28/08/2024)

Chapter 11 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 12 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 13 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 14 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 15 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 16 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 17 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 18 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 19 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 20 - (29/08/2024)

Chapter 21 Finale - (29/08/2024)

Project Kwangya - Alternatives Talles (10/?) - Cally_Kop:

Several tales using SM Idols as characters. Since the company decided to bring all the Idols together in the shared universe idea, where all the MV's, lyrics and all the promotional material of the company's Idols would tell a story, like Marvel and its shared universe.

Here, small stories will be posted using this same idea, that each Idol has a role and story to tell, being able to interfere in the stories of other characters. From Kangta to Aespa, to EXO, SHINee, Red Velvet, Girls Generation, NCT, all SM idols appeared.

Coming Soon!

Warrior's Descendants (6/6) - AuspiciousAutumn:

H.O.T are so close to becoming an active group again, but not everyone is keen with them doing it on their own terms.

I would recommend that 18+ read this fanfic.

Chapter 1 - (22/09/2024)

Chapter 2 - (22/09/2024)

Chapter 3 - (22/09/2024)

Chapter 4 - (22/09/2024)

Chapter 5 - (22/09/2024)

Chapter 6 Final - (22/09/2024)

12 days of Super Junior, a Christmas fic (12/12) - plincess_cho:

As Super Junior contemplate what they want for Christmas, they realize that above all, they want to be together.

This work is suitable for all audiences.

Coming Soon!

Red Velvet and the haunted dorms [Ft. Super Junior] (1) -plincess_cho:

Red Velvet move into Super Junior's old dorms. But are their dorms really haunted like everyone says?

This work is suitable for all audiences.

Chapter 1 - (15/09/2024)

2014 → 2000 (2/?) - Inodot:

Mir was and still is a big g.o.d fan. One day, after saving a child from getting hit by a car, he somehow ended up in 2000 when g.o.d were still active. He tries not to mess with time but couldn't help but to think that he can prevent their hiatus from happening.

This work is suitable for all audiences.

Chapter 1 - (21/09/2024)

Chapter 2 - (21/09/2024)

Translated Fanfics:

As these Fanfics are translated from there original language to English there might be some translation mistakes.

Masters of the Game (8/8) - maresca:

Human life is a Game. It includes both random dice rolls and multi-move strategic combinations. When human life reaches a stalemate, the Game Masters enter the Game. The Game Masters declare the beginning of the Game.

This work is suitable for teens and up audiences.

Coming Soon!

Zhou Gong also cannot interpret dreams (1) - memeflosalvo:

Chinese - Mandarin to English.

I would recommend that 18+ read this fanfic.

Coming Soon!

[yuriko-mukami]

Ecstasy Writing Process...

Updated: 09/10/2023

The first draft of the main story finished on August 20th, 2023, and the special chapter October 9th, 2023

📖 Word count: 44 133

📖 Library scene count: 6

📖 Smutty scene count: 4

📖 Biting scene count: 6

📖 Cover art: Needed

📖 CG edits: 1/2 done

Prologue - final version done

Ecstasy 01 - final version done

Ecstasy 02 - final version done

Ecstasy 03 - final version done

Ecstasy 04 - final version done

Ecstasy 05 - final version done

Ecstasy 06 - final version done

Ecstasy 07 - final version done

Ecstasy 08 - final version done

Ecstasy 09 - final version done

Ecstasy 10 - final version done

Epilogue - final version done

Brute End - final version done

Manservant End - final version done

Vampire End - final version done

After Story - final version done

Special - the first draft written

17/07/2023: I made this post for myself to follow the progress of the story. And now, I can't but laugh since with two chapters written we already have two library scenes... That's Ruki and Yuriko for you. 🤣

19/07/2023: Three chapters in, three libraries visited. Oh my, these two... 😅 Jokes aside, it's so nice to write Elizabeth and Yuriko's interactions but also Ruki and Shin's bickering.

24/07/2023: Oh boy... I felt bad when I had to write another Laito scene. Such a disgusting moment but I think it still serves the story. But I can't wait for writing sweeter scenes between Ruki and Yuriko later...

27/07/2023: I haven't been able to write as fast as I hoped, but I'm still making progress. There are so many tiny things I need to fit into this that I start to regret I decided to follow the game structure. I need to think if I want to do that in future stories or if should I simply make my own structure for those...

Also, I ordered two CG edits yesterday, instead of one. Now, I need to decide which chapter will get one. The other goes to the After Story.

28/07/2023: I hoped I would have reached Ecstasy 10 by today but I guess that was a bit high goal. Still, I'm happy with these results. And damn, I enjoyed writing Ecstasy 08 today.

31/07/2023: Oh my... It was so much fun to write Ecstasy 09 too, even though the chapter isn't happy at all. But I think Yuriko has great moments there. Poor Ruki though...

31/07/2023 || Second Note: I managed to write Ecstasy 10 and start Ecstasy Epilogue. Of course, there is still a way to go with all the endings and the After Story... but I begin to have my skeleton version here. I'm rather positive that the first draft might be finished in August. Of course, there are editing rounds to come but still... I'm pleased about this.

02/08/2023: I wrote both Brute and Manservant Ends... and oh boy, that was quite a trip. Prepare yourself for a yandere Ruki. Now, I only have Vampire End, After Story, and Special chapter left before it's time to write all the smut scenes~ My reward is almost here! 💙

03/08/2023: I finished the first draft of the Vampire End. Huh, that was quite a roller coaster. The text is terrible at the moment though, such bad writing... but since I'm going to edit the story anyway, I don't mind it at this point.

Also, my goal was 30 000 words for this story but I guess I will go past that since I reached it already and there are still things I need to add. Like all smut scenes.

04/08/2023: OH MY GOSH! The story's first draft is pretty much finished. Only the smut scenes are missing from the main story.

I will work on the special story a bit later since it won't be released on Tumblr but in the ebook version of the story. So, the next project is to scribble three different types of smut scenes. 😏 The fourth and last one will be at the end of the special chapter.

09/08/2023: Haa... I have such huge writing urges but I got an unexpected job offer for three weeks and now I'm all stressed out and tired whenever I have free time... 😢 I should stop saying yes to these odd job offers, I guess... since I already have the job I love. But I'm bad at saying no... Buuut I managed to start the first smut scene! I hope I have the energy to finish it tomorrow or the latest at the weekend.

12/08/2023: I just finished the first smut scene of the story... and I think it's the dirtiest one so far in the whole His Possession. 🙈😳 The next ones won't be this dirty I think, since they serve different purposes for the story... But gosh, I rarely turn into a blushing mess because of my own writing but this... We'll see if I edit it milder or not... 🫣

17/08/2023: Finished the second smut scene. So now, there is one to go for the main story (there will be one in the special chapter too). Soon, I can leave this story in Ruki's admin's care. Though... tbh, it might still take a while since I have been so damn tired after work. Writing has become slow and difficult because of this. But I'm trying my best. I want to publish this story by the end of this year.

20/08/2023: The main story is finished. 🥳 I will write the special later, but everything else is now drafted. Of course, there will be a lot of editing and I might even add scenes here and there but mostly the story is now formed.

Anyway, the next step is to give this in @ruki-mukami-dl's hands but I'm positive that everyone else can read it before this year ends. So, look forward to that.

09/10/2023: I got the special chapter back from @ruki-mukami-dl today. I still need to make some fixes in it, but it's mostly done. It will be published only in the ebook version of the story. But it will bring almost 20 pages worth of extra content. The chapter will be in Ruki’s point of view, and it can be rather triggering for sensitive people. But it surely was interesting to write together with Ruki’s admin 💙

Other than that, I'm making the cover for the printed book on the weekend. So, the ebook's cover is on its way, too. Then, just one final CG edit and everything is ready for November. Ah, I can’t wait to share the story!

[seungssky]

secret secret - a kim seungmin smau

summary: late at night, kim seungmin finds a girl standing in the pouring rain, and offers her his small umbrella. after she gets home, seungmin never caught her name, or much of what she looks like. chaos strikes when the two college students attempt to find each other's identities.

pairings: kim seungmin x fem!reader , slight han x reader , lee know x reader

mentions of: yeji (itzy), soobin (txt), karina (aespa)

genre: fluff, college au, strangers to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: fluff, some angst, swearing

status: completed <3

-started 07/26/2022

-ended 08/09/2022

updates every day!

a/n: hello! this is my first ever smau on tumblr, and i am very new to this platform, so any requests/suggestions are welcome! you can always inbox me to be added to the taglist as well. hope you enjoy this new and upcoming series! -mel

profiles:

the losers club // pretty boys + hyunjin

chapter 1: tiny umbrella chapter 2: iced americano chapter 3: shivered my timbers chapter 4: no tears left to cry chapter 5: views chapter 6: lover boy chapter 7: his t-shirt chapter 8: captain han reporting for duty chapter 9: lover from a past life chapter 10: just friends chapter 11: out of all the days in the world chapter 12: inch resting chapter 13: please pick up chapter 14: houston we have a problem chapter 15: maknae treatment chapter 16: new friends chapter 17: no going back chapter 18: as long as you're happy chapter 19: told you so chapter 20: i like the view right now chapter 21: changbin u get no bitches chapter 22: simpmin chapter 23 (finale): prettier than the entire night sky epilogue: years along the line

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter three rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader

Synopsis: you are Peter’s greatest love and Spiderman’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

Peter arrived at the Avengers tower with a little pep in his step. His new neighbor was on his mind and he couldn’t get her off. He knew it was a long shot, after all you’d only had one conversation, but he felt like there was a connection between you. You were awkward, he was awkward. What more does a relationship need?

Tony was quick to notice the change in Peters mood. A dreamy smile crept across his face every now and then while Tony was trying to explain something about his nanotechnology.

“Alright Underoos, whats on your mind? A girl? Boy? That gorgeous Aunt of yours? Oh wait no, that’s what’s on my mind.” Tony smirked, making a blush paint Peters cheeks.

“Nothing sir. Sorry, I’ll pay attention.” Peter answered quickly. Tony scanned Peter up and down skeptically.

“So its a girl. Alright. Who is she?” Tony asked, motioning for Peter to sit down with him.

“This girl moved in across the hall from me about a week ago. I’d see her on the stairs sometimes, or in the lobby. She’s beautiful, Mr. Stark. I mean, really beautiful. And I know girls are a lot more than their appearance, trust me, but I can never look away. It’s like God made a perfect batch of cookie dough, and then made a perfect cookie cutter, and then hand made her just for me. There’s just, there’s something about her. I feel like I’ve always known her, and I don’t even know her yet. She knocked on my door this morning and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her through the peephole. I played dumb and acted like I didn’t know she lived across the hall.” Peter started to explain. A twinge of embarrassment struck him at the memory of what he said to you.

“Oh God. You said something stupid, didn’t you?” Tony inquired, noticing the look of embarrassment on Peters face as he recalled their conversation. Tony leaned on his hands like a child, this stuff exciting him more than anything.

“I insulted her dead father and called him smelly.” Peter admitted, and Tony laughed.

“But she found it funny and agreed with me.” Peter quickly followed up.

“Wow. Normally I’d say there’s no coming back from that, but she seems like a keeper. So, are you gonna throw on your Spidey suit and take her for a ride around the city? Works with all the ladies.” Tony wiggled eyebrows, but Peter shook his head.

“No. Spider-Man isn’t a party trick or some tactic to pick up girls. Plus, I want her to like me for me. That’s why I invited her over for dinner tonight.” Peter answered. Tony looked down at his hands, not wanting Peter to see how proud he was. He couldn’t let Peter get too cocky.

“That was a test and you passed.” To y quipped. “Alright, spider child, you have my blessing. But no funny business tonight. If I find out I’m gonna have to design nanotech baby clothes, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Peter blushed at the mere thought of what Tony was implying and spent the rest of his time at the tower going over missions to get you off his mind.

You arrived at Peters at 6:07. You were done getting ready at 5:45, and sat in the living room on your phone until you were slightly late. You didn’t want to be early, like some loser. Or even worse, on time. You had to be fashionably, but not rudely, late.

You knocked on Peters door at 6:07 and waited. The door swung open instantly, as if he’d be waiting right behind.

“I know what you’re thinking.” He stated. “I’ll let you decide if I was waiting at the door for you or if I’m just really fast. “

He had successfully broken the ice, and you gave kudos to him for trying.

You, on the other hand, were drawing a blank. You had no idea what to say and you were a reporter for crying out loud. You didn’t get tripped up on my words, but something about Peter Parker and that damn collared shirt rendered you unable to formulate a thought. All you could do was stand there and smile at him. You felt like you were standing weirdly and all the sudden had no idea where to put your hands. Do you leave them at your sides? That felt too stiff and soldier-like. But where else would they go? You were pretty sure every brain cell had left your body at that point, leaving you defenseless.

“You look nice.” Peter blurted, interrupting the awkward silence that had settled between you. Even he seemed surprised by his statement. You looked down and shrugged. You looked as nice as a lazy person who didn’t fully unpack their clothes could look. You had on a casual grey dress that was made of some sort of t-shirt material, and your hair was in a loose bun with a few curls framing your face. Peter took in your appearance with what looked like approval. Then you noticed Peters gaze falling to your feet.

“Converse with a dress.” He noted. “Bold move.”

You felt your personality re-enter your body, finally, and nodded.

“Oh yeah. You know me. Quirky and cool and not like other girls.” You joked as you clicked your heels together. “You look nice too. Very…Freddie Benson.”

Freddie Benson? Who the hell makes an ICarly reference to compliment someone? This night was going downhill fast and you regretted ever knocking on his door.

“Dude. You’re tanking.” Venom said in your ear, you had to agree. This couldn’t be going worse.

But lo and behold, Peters beautiful laugh filled your ears once again.

“That’s what I was going for!” He cheered. “My friend Ned always teases me for wearing sweaters and button downs but he just doesn’t have the vision.”

“Come in.” He suddenly stepped aside and gestured inward. “Dinners almost ready.”

Peters apartment looked just like yours, but much more homey. You saw his baby pictures on the wall, coupled with pictures of him and his parents through the years. You noticed a framed picture of a different couple on the coffee table. They resembled Peter but you didn’t see them in any photos with him past the age of around 7. There was a candle next to the frame, as well as a ceramic cross. You quickly looked away, not wanting to overstep.

“You must be Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you.” You heard a woman’s voice from behind you. You turned around and saw a woman in high pants and a yellow tank top, recognized her from the pictures with Peter.

“I am. It’s very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Parker.” You said politely and shook her hand.

“Please.” She shook your hand. “Call me May.”

“May.” You repeated with a smile.

You turned around and saw Peter pulling out a chair for you, so you sat down while May finished preparing dinner. You offered to help, being the polite ass bitch that you were, but May insisted that you were the guest. A plate of “meatloaf” was soon placed in front of you and Peter. The term “meatloaf” is used very loosely. It looked more like an old shriveled brain. Peter made eye contact with you and winked.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” He whispered. He glanced at May, who was busy pouring the drinks, before leaning in closer and whispering, “it’s way worse.”

You playfully kicked Peter under the table and he giggled, quickly masking the sound with a drink of water.

“So, Y/N, where do you go to school?” May started the conversation. You took a bite of meatloaf, nearly died, and swallowed before answering.

“I’m actually taking a gap year before I start my junior year at Berkeley.” You told her. “And I work part time as a reporter.”

“That’s a very good school.” She complimented. “And I thought you looked familiar. I’ve seen your show on YouTube.”

“I haven’t.” Peter realized. “What’s it called?”

“The L/n Report.” You answered. “I started it my freshman year and it just kinda took off.”

“Oh. I’ve read some of yoru articles, but I haven’t seen the show.” Peter realized. “I can’t believe you do that. That’s really cool. You’re really cool.”

“Thank you.” You winked at him, not used to being praised for your work.

“Peter told me about your father.” May changed the subject. “I’m so sorry to hear that he passed. He left the apartment to you?”

“He did.” You nodded. “And it’s all right. We were estranged anyway.”

“It must be so different living alone in a city.” May sighed. “Did you dorm while at Berkeley?”

“No, I lived with my boyfriend.” You shook your head. Peter began choking on his water at the mention of a boyfriend and May shot him a look.

“Peter. Manners.” She said sternly.

“Boyfriend?” Was all he managed to say between coughs and sputters.

Oh great. Time for this conversation.

“Ex-boyfriend.” You corrected. “I got him demoted to traffic duty for two weeks and he wasn’t too happy about it.”

“He broke up with you over that?” Peter raised an eyebrow. “That’s gotta be the dumbest reason for a breakup I’ve ever heard.”

“May I ask how you got him demoted?” May wondered.

“Well, I’m an investigative reporter, and my ex, Andy, is a cop.” You began. “I looked at some classified files on his computer and used them against someone.”

“Carlton Drake, right?” She realized the story sounded familiar. “I read about that. Your exposé about him was everywhere.”

“Didn’t he die in his own rocket?” Peter asked you, fully invested in the story.

“Yea. I was there. Me and…my friend.” You caught yourself before almost mentioning Venom.

“Gosh I read that story forever ago.” May recalled. “It was all over the news here. I remember Peter ranting to me that this girl was straight out of high school and already taking down shady guys in San Francisco. You were obsessed with the article, remember Peter? I’m pretty sure you hung it up.”

Peter, you guessed it, turned bright red.

“I just thought you were cool. You know, taking down bad guys and all at such a young age. It really inspired me.” Peter explained. He suddenly looked panicked, like he said too much, and you wondered what it inspired him to do.

“Thank you Peter.” You smiled fondly. “How old are you anyway?”

“19. I’ll be 20 on August 10th.” He said proudly. “What about you?”

“He’s legal.” Venom whispered in your ear. You couldn’t even be mad at her, you were thinking the same thing.

“I’m 20.” You told him, and smile crept across his face.

“And this boyfriend, where is he now?” May asked. May wasn’t blind to what was happening between her nephew and this new neighbor and knew that’s what Peter was dying to ask.

“I would very much also like to know that.” Peter said, almost robotically. He leaned in closer and stared at you while he awaited the answer.

“He’s engaged, actually.” You said between sips of water, making Peter sigh in relief. “To a friend of mine. They’re getting married this summer.”

It was the first time you said those words out loud. You didn’t feel sad, like you thought you would. You didn’t really know how you felt. The smile that broke out on Peters face gave a clear indication on how he felt, though.

“That’s great. I mean, not great great. Great for him, I mean. It’s always good to move on. Wether it be with an old friend or a brand new one. Maybe it’s with someone you just met. You never know. Things just happen between the most random of people. Could be a stranger. Or, or, hear me out, it could be less of a stranger. Like a barista, or a mailman or a…a neighbor.” Peter stumbled over his words, the last part coming out very quietly. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out though. Between you and him, I mean. ”

“Thanks.” You shrugged. “It was tough at first but, I’m okay now. He wasn’t the one.”

“When you do find the one, you’ll know. I knew almost immediately that Ben was the one. I saw him and my heart said “that’s the one you’ve been looking for” and I believed it.” May sighed wistfully. You could see her eyes glistening behind her glasses and did something rather bold. You put your hand on top of hers and squeezed. She gave off this loving motherly vibe that you had only seen in movies but never felt for yourself. May gave you the warmest smile and squeezed your hand back.

“That’s lovely May. Although, I always thought when you met the one, your heart wouldn’t say that it’s been looking for that person. I always thought it would say ‘welcome home’, or something like that. You know? Like, you’ve always known them. I don’t know though. Maybe I’ve just seen The Princess Bride one too many times.” You shrugged.

“Ah. That’s a classic in this household.” May recalled. “Peter would refuse to go to bed without watching it.”

“Because it’s a cinematic masterpiece.” Peter sassed. “You’re trying to embarrass me by pointing out that even as a child I had impeccable taste? Oh please.”

You laughed at his remark, making May noticed the smile that broke out on Peters face when he succeeded in making their new neighbor laugh.

May looked at you for a while with a content smile on her face before saying, “Yeah. I suppose you do have good taste.”

[jeonqqin]

man up. [m] | pt. 6

h. jisung x reader | netflix rom-com au

— ❝Even with classes, annoying brothers, and an unrequited crush, you still figured your first year of college was going pretty well. Until you managed to get your first boyfriend, and suddenly your brother and his stupidly attractive best friend were attached to your hip for the whole damn ride.

or alternatively;

Why did Jisung care about you so much, and had his eyes always been that pretty?❞

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

CONTAINS: brothers best friend au, teen rom-com au, sorta crack fic, love triangle au, college au

WARNING: language, eventual smut, heated kissing, minor groping, a wee bit of angst 

A/N: sorry this one was late... like all the others. but hey you can’t blame me for trying lmao

▸ request

CHAPTERS:  01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 +

blog masterlist | ⟲ fic song

© jeonqqin 2020

—UNEDITED

Your head began to spin as your eyes dropped to the text sent to you, the number attached to a name that you least expected. You would never admit to how fast your heart pulsed in your chest as you skimmed the words over and over. Had Jisung said anything to her about what happened?

Was she upset with you for sending her precious boyfriend into a panic attack?

Maybe you were walking straight into a bear trap but you couldn’t bring yourself to decline or ignore her message. The guilt of hurting Jisung was too fresh, so you had a hard time doing anything against him—and in a way, ignoring Hyunae’s messages was just that. You just hoped it wasn’t an elaborate set up where she jumped you and scratched your throat out with her excessively polished fingernails. But even if she did, it was pretty fair to say that you deserved it. 

So after your first class, you were able to hop on the bus for a quick trip to Haven, the thought of your next class lodged in the back of your mind. After the incident in Minho’s apartment, you hadn’t stepped a foot back inside. Granted it had only been twelve hours at the most, but it felt like days when it seemed like everyone was mad at you. Word of what happened traveled fast, and despite no one in your group of friends asking you about it specifically, you knew that they knew. You suspected that Changbin was the culprit, but you really couldn’t blame him. He didn’t exactly know the extent of the situation. 

But it was hard when even Felix seemed hesitant to talk to you. 

Chan was still there to text you every hour, even after you explained most of the situation to him. But he remained understanding and sweet. 

As he was all the time.

When you walked into the diner, a burst of warmth enveloped you and your nose turned up at the scent of comfort food and coffee. It was nice, and eased some of the tension in your muscles. 

Hyunae sat along the inside booths where most of the diners traffic was, close enough to the door that you could run if you needed to. She had her eyes cast down on her phone and your arrival hadn’t been noticed—you could’ve turned around and left then and there, ending all of your messy doubts and fears for the day. But you couldn’t. Your feet continued forward without your consent, dragging you those last final inches to her table. 

With the new presence, she looked up.

Hyunae’s eyes widened for a second, darting over your form as if to double check that you were really there. 

“I kind of didn’t think you were going to come.” She exhaled a small laugh, motioning towards the other side of the table where a still hot cup of coffee sat. 

You took the cup in your cold hands, “Thanks…”

You didn’t know what to say—the ball was in her park and she was in control of where things headed. 

She sighed, leaning back against the booth, her pretty skin flushed with the nip of the air. “I’ll just cut to the chase… I wanted to apologize for what I did—for everything that I did. I’ve been a bitch for a while, and I only realized it now.”

With her avoiding eye contact, you could openly gape at her confession, because—what?

The Hyunae was apologizing to you?

“I don’t—I don’t really understand why you’re suddenly apologizing.” You said, voice hoarse. 

Hyunae tugged her sweater closer to her form, arms curling around her waist as someone else walked through the door, sending a blast of cold air through the diner. 

“You know, for being a complete bitch to you while Ji and I were dating. It was all a jealousy thing to be completely honest. I didn’t actually—”

You blinked, waving your hand out to stop her rambling. You weren’t sure that you could process the first half of her words, let alone the endless ramble that she was capable of spewing. 

“Are…” you swallowed. “Are you guys not together?”

She frowned, brows furrowed.

“Jisung broke up with me, Y/n. Did he not tell you?”

The scratch of a broken record echoed through your head as you nearly dropped the ceramic cup of coffee all over yourself. 

“What?”

She nodded slowly, “I thought you would be the first person he told, considering…”

“Considering what?”

Her briefness and dodging was only making you frustrated, your hand waving in front of her face to finally gain her eyes. You had no idea that Jisung broke up with her, and you had no idea why. Some part of you hoped that the reason had something to do with you, but you just pushed that load of feelings away. It wasn’t fair to think of such things while the girl who had recently been broken up with sat directly in front of you. 

You really were a god awful person. 

She laughed a little, her eyes taking in your complete disbelief. 

“Well I’ll be damned. You two really are perfect for each other, huh?”

Before you could ask exactly what that was supposed to mean, you watched as her cheeks flushed a bright red—this time not at the fault of the air. Again she laughed, all humor aside, and her hands lifted to her face as tears leaked from her eyes. 

“God,” she sniffed, frantically moving to wipe her face with her sleeve. “You both really suck.”

You leaned forward awkwardly, passing her a napkin from the holder with a small tilt of your head. “I’ve come to realize that recently.”

She gave you a look that read, “don’t agree with me” and it managed to pull a laugh from your own throat. Hyunae might’ve been a little bit of a bitch, but it wasn’t without reason. She was insecure and jealous and those two things are away at someone like a virus. It was almost impossible to not feel such things at your age.

You always forgot that you were barely out of high school, the years of petty emotions and fake relationships hadn’t quite yet been erased from your minds. You were all in the same boat.

Just trying to learn along the way. 

“You know what’s funny…” Hyunae smiled, her eyes wet. “I always kind of routed for you two. I didn’t really know it, but it was always in the back of my head.”

You felt your lip wobble, but you bit it down, clenching your jaw. There was no way in hell that you were going to cry. You weren’t going to do that—you had no reason to. Hyunae was the one who just lost her boyfriend, and she was the only one who was supposed to be sad. 

“Every time you and him were together it just looked so right. I don’t know…” She swiped her hair over her shoulder with a sigh. “I honestly couldn’t believe it when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I thought you two had been a thing for a while—” right, you nearly forgot about the time when Hyunae was simply a friend. “—but then he came bounding up with a goofy smile on his face and that was it. It was over.”

Hyunae and Jisung had some math class together back in high school, he didn’t tell you much about her, but you knew enough to think she was a decent person. Back in those days, Hyunae was much different; sporting a thick pair of glasses and dark hair. But still just as gorgeous, as everyone with two eyes could see. 

She followed Jisung around like a lost puppy, and even had to be shooed away by Minho a few times. You were just glad that she listened, since Minho’s temper had been much worse then. You didn’t remember the details but you did remember the day that Jisung jumped back to your house with a big smile and flushed cheeks. It was a time when you were still an angsty teenager and listened to terrible love songs when you were in emotional distress. So that news was a real punch in the face. 

“I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know what else to say, she wasn’t exactly your friend, so you didn’t know how to take in and process the information that she just threw at you. 

Hyunae shook her head.

“Don’t be sorry. I had a feeling before that it was going to happen sooner or later. Who knew it was going to be so much later?”

You sent her a small smile. She wasn’t half bad when she wasn’t completely ignoring your existence and sending murderous glances your way. 

The waiter rounded up to your table—unfortunately, not Jeongin—and proceeded to ask you what you wanted to order. After Hyunae promised to pay for your meal as well, the two of you talked for what seemed to be hours. You didn’t talk about anything at all—going on about classes and professors that you couldn’t stand. Your mind was clear for the first time in weeks and it was beyond refreshing to talk to her about things that only another girl would understand. Being around boys every day of your life had taken a toll on you and you hadn’t realized it until you were laughing as Hyunae ranted about how obviously sexist your communications professor was. 

You could be yourself around the boys, of course. But with her, you could be someone you hadn’t been in a long time. 

With a fry between her fingers, she hummed, leaning her chin on her hand. 

It was only a matter of time before she reverted to what she came to talk to you about, and you tried your hardest to redirect the conversation each time it looked like it was going to be lead down that spiral of absolute hell—

“I think you guys would be cute together.”

You deadpanned, flicking your empty straw wrapper in her direction. 

“Are we really talking about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named right now?” You quirked a brow, not at all happy with the way she snickered at your question.

“If it makes you feel better, Y/n… I think I’ve had feelings for Hyunjin for a long time as well.”

“Oh yeah, my guilt is cured.”

She nearly snorted her water, sputtering a little bit around her mouthful. You took a bit of pride in that. 

“I actually missed your sarcasm, believe it or not.”

Sighing, you threw all of your remaining trash onto one plate, your belly finally full and happy. “Wow, you actually remember when we didn’t hate each other?”

“You really hated me?”

“A little bit. Your whole lovey-dovey act was a bit sickening.” You shrugged. 

“Because you’re in love with Ji?”

You froze immediately. 

Hyunae couldn’t just drop it? Her constant mention of Jisung was really putting a damper on your mood, and the itch of fight or flight was really beginning to kick in once again. 

And to think things were going so well. 

“No,” you said, shaking your head quickly. “No no, I have a boyfriend. Sort of... I’m not in love with anyone—”

“Y/n, look at me. Please,” she reached over the table to tap your chin with her pretty manicured finger, her face pulling into a soft smile. “Darling, it’s been almost two years since we graduated high school, and nothing has changed between the two of you since then. Even while you were dating other people. He still looks at you like you hung the damn stars and you still blush whenever he calls you those stupid little pet names he has for you. You’re both whipped.”

Your face softened under her stare. Her words hit a cord inside of your chest, but it was just something that made your head hurt when you thought about it. You didn’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it. 

“Jisung and I have only ever been friends. Yes, we’ve been good friends for a long time, but he has never told me anything about liking me. If he can’t tell me something as simple as this then I don’t think I can—”

Suddenly her eyes were hard set, piecing fiercely into yours. It stopped you in your tracks immediately. 

“Don’t make me get any more upset with you, okay?” 

Hyunae was definitely a force to be reckoned with. 

“Listen,” She sighed, her eyes fluttering shut. “Jisung is the best guy I’ve ever dated and that probably won’t ever change. I want him to be happy, and I want you to be happy too. So please just think about things. I’m here telling you that this boy is head over heels in love with you—that he has been for years. His fault here is the fact that he’s so oblivious to his own feelings that he can’t see yours. He just—” her hands flailed in front of her, searching for her next words. “—doesn’t know how.”

You sighed. “I always liked Jisung when I was a kid. Hell, even earlier this year I could turn to you and say—yes, I am in love with Han Jisung.” 

Hyunae blinked. 

“But who the hell am I to say that I’m in love with someone? I’m not—I’m definitely not.” You sighed, mind wandering back to when things barely crossed your mind for longer than a minute. Things had been tossed around so lightly. “It was frustrating because it was so easy to like him when I was young. There wasn’t this huge word hanging over my head like there is now.”

Hyunae pushes her empty plate to join yours, speaking without a care. “You know that you don’t have to love him, right? You could simply like him.”

You felt the weight behind what she was saying in your chest, you didn’t have to label what you felt for him if you still weren’t sure. The only problem with that was that you knew what you felt for Jisung, and it was stupid. Because how could you look at someone and know how you felt when you hadn’t even seen every side of them? 

You couldn’t remember when he had last been serious with you. Never once had he looked at you with the eyes of an adult and told you about his inner thoughts. That wasn’t who Jisung was, he avoided those thoughts. 

He was only ever happy around you, and whether that was a good or a bad thing, you had no idea. 

“Was Jisung ever serious with you?”

Hyunae was momentarily stunned by your out of place question but she recovered with a small hum. “Well, a little bit. Whenever he was upset or tired he’d get a little snippy, but serious? I’m not really sure.”

That was just how Jisung was.

“Huh…”

“Oh,” she chirped suddenly, her lead raising as if she remembered something. “There was a moment when he was always serious.” 

Your head quirked to the side in question, eyes wide with curiosity. Despite knowing him for years, there was still plenty of unknowns to Han Jisung, and you were curious to know more.

“What is it?”

Hyunae’s mouth opened for a moment, then closed. Many things flashed over her face at once, but it was safe to assume that she was rethinking her words. Your chest fell. 

Her eyes darted away from yours, guilt flashing over her features. “I don’t think I can tell you that.”

“Not fair,” frowning, you pouted. “That’s the worst cliffhanger ever.”

She tisked, small smile pulling to her lips. “Well,” she shrugged. “You could always move forward to find out.”

She was right, you could. 

There were many things you had to move forward with, many people you had to have a conversation with; Jisung definitely being one of them. With a mental list of all the people that you had questions and answers for, everything only just began to clear themselves up. It was small, but it was something. Your head was always busy anyway, having things clearing out was like a breath of fresh air that you could barely reach. 

But it was still something. 

“You’re right. I think I just have to start with someone else.”

Hyunae smiled, “Get on with it then. Hurry your ass out of here.”

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting this,”

Maybe you shouldn’t have listened to Hyunae. 

Your heart was pounding radically in your chest as you sat straight as a board on the spinning office chair of the notorious recording room. You hadn’t seen it since that day it all began—honestly it had seemed so long ago. The room was cleaned up and organized, all the wires neatly tucked into the back instead of sprawled all over the floor, and you found yourself focusing more on that than the person in front of you. 

You almost had to force yourself to your chair, everything feeling way too heavy for your liking. 

“What do you mean?”

Chan ran a hand through his messy curls. It was only a few days ago that you had wanted to run your own fingers through his dark hair. 

“You and Jisung aren’t very subtle, but uh, I was just hoping you could like me—” he paused for a moment, filing through his mind for the right words. “—as well, I guess.”

“Oh…”

“Hey, it’s fine. Jisung’s a good guy, you guys will be good together.”

Had you stepped into a parallel universe where every ex was supportive instead of filled with rage?

“But—well, I don’t even know if we are going to end up together or anything like that. My head has just been all over the place lately and I definitely never intended to drag you into this mess. I feel awful, god I’m a terrible person, aren’t I—?”

“Y/n.” Chan said, voice firm. 

Your cheeks heated at the realization of your otherwise embarrassing ramble. 

“Sorry…” You squeaked. 

Chan sighed, leaning more weight against his desk. “Don’t be sorry. I just don’t want you freaking out here. You need to know that I’m an adult too, none of this is all your fault.”

You froze for a moment—one stupid moment just looking into Chan’s pretty brown eyes and realizing how weak they made you feel. 

Chan’s mouth curled into a sympathetic smile as a tear rolled down the apple of your cheek. His hand reached forward to swipe the intact droplet with his pointer finger, and a small giggle rippled through his chest. 

“God—Don’t cry, stupid,” he suddenly brushed his hand over your face, an attempt to raise your spirits to the very end. “You’re making me feel bad.”

“I hate you…” You sniffed, swatting his hand away with a quiet sob. 

As his finger ran over your wet cheek to collect the little drops that leaked down, you weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry so you did both, once again crumbling under his touch.

“Hey,” he smiled. “You can’t hate me. I should be the one hating you.”

Your lip jutted out into a pout, one that he wanted so badly to kiss from your lips. 

“Then we can hate each other.”

Chan hummed, watching as your jaw clenched in an attempt to keep your emotions from falling down your cheeks. You didn’t want him to see just how conflicted you were, he knew that much. 

“Okay. We can do that.” 

And he leaned down to place a soft kiss to the top of your head, careful of the affection he gave you. 

But it only made your stupid heart hiccup in your chest, opposed to the way it would’ve raced had it only been days prior. 

With Jisung it was warmth that spread over your body, but with Chan it was like floating in a pool of water with all your clothes on; encasing and safe and just a little sticky. 

You were sure if you wanted to chase after the brief relief that Chan brought to you, it was difficult to tell with the way you were trying to find your answers. Was one more chance unfair to Chan? Even after explaining your inner (and slightly unknown) thoughts and feelings to him about Jisung, could you still salvage anything if you tried one more time?

“Can I… kiss you please?” You asked, neither looking in his eyes or at his plump lips. You really liked his lips. 

Chan smiled, eyes darting down to your little pout. He liked your lips too. 

“You want to?”

You hummed, a small nod to tell him that you were too embarrassed to confirm his words with those of your own. But Chan was understanding and patient. He didn’t push you to do anything as Jisung did—Chan was so perfect, why the hell did you think about Han Jisung?

What was wrong with you?

You didn’t want to answer that question. You wanted it all to go away—the fear, the confusion, everything. And the way Chan was looking at you made you feel it all simmer down to nothing. His eyes were so soft. 

You were backpedaling, you knew that. But it was hard not to when Chan felt so safe.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” His lips quirked up. 

You felt bad for not liking Chan the way you liked Jisung. He was better to love and he showed you everything you had missed before. He held you when you were sad, cooed into your ear that everything was going to be alright when it was him who was taking the loss. Why did he do that?

Leaning forward, you all but collapsed into his embrace, finally feeling his soft lips again. 

One thing you loved about Chan was his arms. You loved how they felt around you, and how strong they were. A lot of people liked his arms for those reasons too, you supposed. He may have been your first, but you certainly weren’t his. 

How long were you going to go back and forth?

Reassurance was what you had with Chan, but with Jisung there was time. You took your time with him unknowingly, watching him with your brother as they played video games in Minho’s room. You were yelled at, pushed, and locked out, but you still got back up and pushed back. As uncool of a sister you were back then, you persisted. 

Minho and Jisung would tease you and pick on you all they wanted, but you were still there at the end of the day. Tear stained cheeks and dirty clothes, and you were still there carrying your silly crush on your big brother’s best friend. 

There was time spent building something to stand on, years of pining and banter lead to a feeling that you couldn’t just replace with a kind heart and a kiss. 

No matter how nice the lips you kissed were. 

Chan knew this too. He knew you were thinking of so many different factors at once, and he was still pulling you tight to him, aware that your kiss would be his last from you. What he felt with you was terrifying. 

You both meant to forget. 

His arms held you tight, hands respectfully placed on your waist as you pushed and pushed into the embrace. The kiss was all new and too intense, but there was something screaming at you to just keep going. 

It grew more heated and your emotions mingled as a small voice began chipping away at the back of your mind; telling you that you didn’t deserve it, that you didn’t deserve him. Even as you found yourself lifting to your knees and straddling his waist, the voice persisted, not even silenced by the soft words that Chan spoke. 

“I feel like you’re going to break if I touch you.” He admitted, voice unstable. 

You shook your head in a daze, “I won’t, I promise.”

You wanted the thought of Jisung out—the thought of him touching another girl the same way Chan was touching you. Did he hold Hyunae like this? Did he kiss her like she was the most precious thing to him? Was there a chance that he would with you? Did he even want to? 

You wanted no part of that thought so you pushed further. 

“I’ll be okay, Chan. If it’s you, I’ll be okay.” You murmured.

Chan’s heart thudded in his chest. 

And in that moment, he almost forgot that you were in love with someone else. 

“Okay, I’ll take care of you.”

You smiled, a small burst of heat running over your cheeks. 

“Sap…”

Chan nearly responded with, “but I’m your sap” but he managed to bite his tongue, distracting himself by slipping one hand under the hem of your shirt. His hand was cold but not unwelcome as it felt along your stomach, and for the first time being with Chan your thoughts slipped—his hand was too strong, too rough. It wasn’t soft and pretty like Jisung’s, it wasn’t warm and comfortable like Jisung’s had been around your waist that morning. Chan’s hands were veiny and cold to the touch. Of course ther was nothing wrong with that. But they weren’t Jisung’s.

All it took was one hug from Jisung to stir up your head, huh?

But he had felt so nice against your back, his with but muscular build feeling like it was meant to be there all along. He had hugged you from behind back in high school many times, his chin resting on your shoulder and his breath fanning over your neck. It was hard to focus then, and it had been hard to focus that morning as well. How did you not know it was Jisung?

Sure, he and Chan were similar in height but Jisung just fit differently. 

And when his eyes landed on your neck, it had been the feeling of panic that crossed you. You didn’t want Jisung to see you like that—with another man’s markings over your throat. 

A sudden thought crossed your mind as Chan slowed his lips journey on your neck…

Was it really Minho that was preventing you from dating? 

The look in your brother’s eyes had been one of disappointment, but he hadn’t done anything, and deep down you knew there was no way he would really hurt the person you were in a relationship with. Of course he would scare them away and make it clear that he wasn’t a fan of you dating, but there you were, watching him do it, barely giving your big brother a slap on the wrist—

“Y/n,” Chan called, and you hadn’t even realized that he had taken his mouth off of your shoulder. “Babygirl…”

He tested the name on his tongue.

But his doubts were confirmed as you frowned. The nickname would’ve once sounded like heaven leaving his lips, but now...

He sent you a small smile after studying your features for a moment. 

“Do you miss him, right now?”

Your eyes widened at his words—you did. 

“No. Of course not,” you said, shaking your head with shaky inhales. “Why are you asking me that?”

There was an internal battle behind Chan’s eyes as he watched your face morph into discomfort. He was a little frustrated. 

Chan removed his hand from underneath your shirt. 

“If we’re going to be friends, Y/n… I don’t want you to lie to me anymore, okay?”

The shock that his words gave you made your eyes well up. It was like a punch to the gut to hear Chan scold you. He had never done such a thing before and you knew—you knew for sure that you couldn’t keep lying. 

When you cried, Chan didn’t wipe away your tears, he simply kept his eyes on yours as his hand rubbed small circles on your back. You needed to cry, and of course Chan knew that. 

He was Chan after all. 

“I’m so sorry—” you hiccuped, swallowing air as your palms lifted to cover your eyes. “—this sucks. This really really sucks.”

Chan sighed, feeling the sleepless nights catch up to him as he watched you break down. It was the worst feeling. It wasn’t that you were very obviously in love with someone else despite how his own chest aches for you to sink back into him and kiss the tiredness away, no—it was the fact that it was tearing you apart.  That was what hurt him the most. 

“Go see Ji.” 

Chan topped your head up with his finger, leaving one last peck to your tear covered lips. 

“He’s probably still upset.”

You nodded, laying your head down on his chest with a shaky sigh. “You’re a good guy, Chan…”

“Yeah, I know.”

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Correspondence, Chapter 03

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary:  An AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email referred from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. They know nothing about each other, but they don't really mind.

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventually)

Chapter CW/notes: Mentions of alcohol, a very long conversation happens where Hotch is a little buzzed. Big, BIG focus on their age difference, and unintentional misinformation. Spencer has no idea Hotch thinks he’s older, or at least not OLD older, and gets a little panicky/clams up -- and yes I realize Hotch could just background check him and find it out but he respects the man enough to not do that. The chapter is linear, it just encompasses a lot of time passing so hopefully that’s not too confusing. Set in season 6, self beta’d.

Word Count: 5025

Masterpost Link

Ao3 Link

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Chapter 03

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Early September 2010

--

And so, it begins.

The dynamic shift, the vast change in how Hotch and Dr. Reid had been corresponding for the past few months. Evolving from something so professional and academic to something… looser. More freeing. More room for error, of course, but the risk turns out to be more than worth it for what they gain.

The texts are sporadic, at first. Short interactions, here and there, all stemming from that first, longer conversation about Jack. Hotch follows up the very next day, after he gets to talk to his son in the morning over pancakes. Jessica hovering nearby the whole time. She had apologized for her harsh words, and commended him after the fact how he’d approached Jack on the subject and led the little boy into a conversation rather than a lecture like his teachers had done. Because, as Spencer had mentioned -- there was no need for one. Jack already had the situation handled.

[]6/4, 12:39[] You were right. 

[]6/4, 12:39[] He invited the kid that was bullying him over for a playdate. Trying to win him over by killing him with kindness.

[]6/4, 12:43[] My kind of kid. 

[]6/4, 12:44[] You’ve taught him well, Hotch.

And that was it. That was all it took to kick off what turns into a frequent occurrence. Slowly, as time passes, their quick texts turn to conversations that naturally revert to work. It’s where they spend most of their time, after all, and what they had bonded over in the first place. But unlike in their emails, it isn’t just about the cases or profiles or statistics required to crack them. It’s much more opinionated than that, erratic in it’s content and frequency. Commentary on Hotch’s team, ideas on the cases they work, case studies and research projects and sometimes even just office gossip that somehow always makes its way to Hotch’s attention despite everyone trying to keep it from doing so.

Or just Dr. Reid observing their antics. This is the beginning of the tonal shift, and Hotch can’t help but think… it just might be a welcome one.

[]6/12, 10:03[] Your tech analyst always sends me rainbow font emails.

[]6/12, 10:07[] Yes, she’s doing that with everyone on the team. It’s Pride month and she’s being supportive.

[]6/12, 10:11[] She considers me a part of the team? How sweet of her.

[]6/12, 10:12[] You are, and as far as the bureau goes you might as well be.

[]6/12, 10:13[] I doubt I could sneak you into payroll, though.

[]6/12, 10:21[] I bet Ms. Garcia could.

[]6/12, 10:28[] Don’t. Say. Anything.

[]6/12, 10:29[] But yes, she could. 

It turns into a small reprieve, for Hotch, in the constant deluge of bureaucracy and violence that fills his work day. The single moment he allows a sliver of himself to appear through the cracks of his armor he has to wear to guard himself from it all. To be the stoic leader the team needs, the unmovable tree in the storm.

Only in his quick, typed under the table conversations he has with Spencer does he allow himself the slips of humor. Barely there traces of a smile. Finding the smallest spots of light in his dark days, in his work that can surround and consume to the point of suffocation. Hotch thrives in it, he always has -- while others have drowned. But he doesn’t mind finding this small self-indulgence. Making the decision for himself that he can joke and poke fun at his work and not feel guilty about it. That, for once, he can allow himself this.

Until one day, Spencer returns the favor -- and starts talking about his own work.

[]7/21, 16:17[] If I leave all of my Ph.D. applicants in a ditch in the desert, is that still murder?

[]7/21, 16:30[] Technically or hypothetically?

[]7/21, 16:34[] Different question, would you be my legal council if I snap and it happens anyway?

[]7/21, 16:37[] Of course.

[]7/21, 16:38[] But as your attorney, I have to advise you that we never had this conversation, and murder is wrong.

[]7/21, 16:40[] Hypothetically. 

Spencer takes a little longer to open up, but when he does it is through this window into an academic world Hotch had never planned or thought he would ever be privy to. He begins to reveal pieces of it, bit by bit, until Hotch starts to form a picture in his mind of what shape this professor’s life really takes. Making deductions based on his speech patterns, what goes on throughout his day, his word choices, and profiling the man through text message without even meaning to. 

He tries to put a stop to it as soon as he realizes this. Dr. Reid isn’t just a consultant anymore, he is his friend -- and Hotch will always do his utmost to not profile his friends. But it’s a little too late for some aspects that can’t help but stand out as time goes on. Such as the inkling that the other man probably isn’t senile with a cane and a stooped back, like Hotch had first thought. Certain parts of his day allude to someone who is a bit fresher to the academic scene -- instead of spending decades on a college campus. 

But Hotch sets that aside, to be scrutinized at a later date, and instead turns his focus into enjoying what Spencer has to offer him. As his friend. The stories he shares freely, now that they’ve spent all this time breaking down the barriers. He regales Hotch with his own daily problems, grievances, as well as the little bright spots that he just wants to share with Hotch so that it can lighten up his own days. Which were much more bleak, and crowded with danger and horrid things. 

Hotch lives for those messages.

[]7/28, 20:42[] So I have a godson.

[]7/28, 20:44[] He’s four, and he just came to visit last week with his mother. Have you and Jack ever done science experiments at home? 

[]7/28, 20:46[] Because I have some that are definite crowd pleasers. Do them right, you can call them ‘physics magic’. I can send you the instructions, it’s well worth it.

[]7/28, 20:47[] I’m not sure how helpful I would be in a scientific area, but I’m always willing to try.

[]7/28, 20:49[] I’d require video evidence of it, then. 

[]7/28, 20:50[] But they are so fun, I’d forgotten how much.

[]7/28, 20:51[] No children of your own?

[]7/28, 20:54[] Never found the right person, but I always spent so much time on my degrees that I hadn’t really thought about being a parent. 

[]7/28, 20:55[] My Godson really brought it to light, though. I love having him here.

[]7/28, 20:56[] I bet he loves when you come around, or when they get to visit you, too.

[]7/28, 20:59[] I work in a science lab, with lasers and telescopes bigger than my first apartment. My approval rating is pretty high when it comes to my godson. 

Although Hotch finds that he doesn’t always start these interactions, the ones that lead to topics outside of work, he also isn’t against them in the slightest. They begin to start messaging at all hours, because of this; first thing in the morning, during their lunch break, whenever something pops up -- what used to be jokes that would just be kept to themselves, turn to conversation starters. And that development shifts the dynamic even more.

[]8/11, 10:31[] Coffee shops always make me feel old, and like I’m a grad student all over again.

[]8/11, 10:38[] You don’t have a T.A. to run and get you coffee?

[]8/11, 10:41[] Of course you would send out for coffee.

[]8/11, 10:42[] Well my order is two steps, not sixteen.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Tyrant.

[]8/11, 10:43[] Pretentious.

They start to tease, banter, and poke fun at each other. Comradery, friendship, and the more it goes on the more it seems to spiral towards something else. Something new.

But it’s these small moments, messages, conversations that can last a minute or an hour, that make Hotch’s chest feel so much lighter as the weeks go by. Hints of a smile easing onto his face, smoothing out and softening the edges in a way they haven’t in a long time. Garnering some attention from the rest of the team, or whoever is in the vicinity that felt brave enough to mention it.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“No one,” Hotch would answer, schooling himself and pocketing his phone. “Just a consultant on a case.”

-

This is how it goes… for months. 

They never speak on the phone. Never even hint at video calls. Never send pictures. (Although Spencer does make a mention once or twice about that promised video when Hotch finally gets around to attempting the ‘physics magic’ experiment he’d emailed him. Hotch secretly hopes that maybe, one day, Spencer will just get to show them in person. Instead of Hotch having to record it for anyone to witness.)

But they talk like clockwork. Play chess on the regular, allowing them to talk more fluently with a laptop to aid the flow of conversation. It starts with once a week, then twice a week, standing dates after hours that meld so seamlessly with their messages every workday. They keep it to the weekdays, at first, since Hotch is busy with Jack on the weekends. But that doesn’t last long. Suddenly, without warning -- it becomes every night as well. That shift is such an organic, natural progression, that it slips in without either of them making comment on it. A silent agreement, because mentioning it would mean admitting why they were pushing this in such a new direction. 

They just… missed talking to each other. Two days was too long. 

Now, it’s every day.

They text for hours; check in on each other at random throughout the day even when Hotch is on cases or Spencer is busy with his duties as the leading doctoral expert of Caltech. Times when they should be swamped, unavailable to anything other than their primary focus and work load, still littered with short messages. Before and after each flight, when Hotch gets back to his hotel at night, when Spencer has to lecture out of town and they just so happen to be passing each other during travel -- mere states away. So close, yet so far. It’s all the time, it’s constant, and it’s wonderful.

Spencer still helps with cases. Often, even more often than he ever helped the L.A. field office. But it’s not always through email, anymore. Sometimes it’s just easier for Hotch to shoot him a quick text. A detailed message in the middle of their everyday banter and dribble but no less out of place, knowing the good Doctor will answer him quickly. Time is of the essence when they are on a case, but they are always on retainer for each other. Waiting in the wings, ready to jump in with quick, snappy wit and bitten-back smiles, and Hotch feels so good. So light. Better than he has in years. 

Happy. 

Hotch is happy, finding a friend in Dr. Spencer Reid, even if sometimes that friendship seems to transcend layers he didn’t know were there. Developing into something else, something he hadn’t touched in a long, long time. 

Months pass. Months. Like a blur. Like they’ve only just started this thing that’s anticipatory and comfortable and flexible in its medium and that is so easy -- everything Hotch needs in his life -- that he can barely imagine what his days and nights were like before this. Before Spencer. 

But it’s months into this correspondence, this charged and bright thing, that he’s home late one night with a Scotch in one hand and a losing game of online chess long forgotten on his laptop screen. Lost in messaging Spencer, back to his phone instead of the chat feature of the chess game. Because texting is their comfort zone, now. He never thought it would be, had seen teenagers and adults attached to their phones like a lifeline and used to scoff about it, but he finally has begun to understand. 

Because here he is -- not even looking up when he takes a drink -- lost in his conversation with Spencer. Making each other laugh, in a way he hasn’t in so long. Loud and high and afraid he might wake Jack down the hall so he stifles it with another sip of his Scotch.

[]9/8, 21:12[] If Jack wakes up, you know that’s it for us. He’ll never go back to sleep.

[]9/8, 21:13[] Then stop laughing so loud. I honestly can’t imagine you laughing enough to wake him.

[]9/8, 21:14[] Usually I don’t. I never laugh like this, but I used to.

[]9/8, 21:16[] Mr. FBI isn’t allowed to laugh, I thought. Didn’t they beat that out of you at the academy?

[]9/8, 21:19[] I was able to retain a smidgen of humor, it’s well hidden. You just seem to bring it out more than others.

[]9/8, 21:20[] I’m flattered. 

[]9/8, 21:20[] You should be. 

[]9/8, 21:21[] If my team saw me crack a smile I’d probably be forced to get a CAT scan.

[]9/8, 21:23[] Do you need one? I have an M.A. in Cognitive Sciences, I’ll be your second opinion.

[]9/8, 21:24[] Probably, but I’ll live.

[]9/8, 21:25[] Very stiff upper lip of you. They teach you that at the academy, too?

[]9/8, 21:26[] No, that would be Scotland Yard. I liaised there for a while.

[]9/8, 21:28[] Wow, you get around. Have you been anywhere else on your global exploration?

[]9/8, 21:31[] Hardly that, I just go where the bureau tells me. I’ve already been bounced all over the country before landing at the BAU. All you can do is keep the ‘stiff upper lip’ and adapt.

[]9/8, 21:31[] “Keep Calm & Carry On”?

[]9/8, 21:33[] Garcia gave me that on a mug last Christmas. I still don’t know what it’s from.

[]9/8, 21:34[] Your age is showing. Get with the times, old man.

[]9/8, 21:35[] You’re one to talk.

[]9/8, 21:35[] What?

Hotch bites back a smile, thinking about how for months he had been so sure Spencer was this elderly professor in his 60’s or 70’s that just happened to find their conversations interesting. That was… very apparently wrong, Hotch can see that now, but he hadn’t had any evidence to the contrary for the entire time they corresponded those first few months. 

He could have done a background check on the professor at any time, is sure Garcia already has one saved in a file ready to send him at his first request, but it’s more fun this way. The not knowing, the learning about each other piece by careful piece. Even the smallest bits of information, such as age. 

He bet Spencer would get a kick out of his first impression of the man, though.

[]9/8, 21:37[] Oh come on, you know.

[]9/8, 21:39[] No, I actually don’t. Congratulations, you’ve stumped the super genius.

[]9/8, 21:39[] But really, what do you mean?

[]9/8, 21:42[] I always just assumed you are at least ten years my senior, maybe even fifteen. How are you more with the times than I am?

[]9/8, 21:43[] I work at a University. I am surrounded by hormones and the dribble of youth.

There’s a slightly lengthy pause after that exchange, enough Hotch starts to pay closer attention through the buzz of liquor settled over his skin pleasantly.

[]9/8, 21:49[] How old do you think I am?

[]9/8, 21:50[] I don’t know, is it rude if I answer?

Hotch is not laughing to himself, he promises. 

[]9/8, 21:52[] Why do you think I’m older?

[]9/8, 21:53[] This feels like a trap.

[]9/8, 21:53[] It’s not.

[]9/8, 21:56[] Well, honestly just from your academic achievements. Not everyone has that kind of time. And all your departments you run, you have to have a pretty level head and knack for maturity to keep that all in order. Especially doctorate students. 

[]9/8, 21:58[] Thank you, I think.

[]9/8, 22:00[] I bet you’re the coolest old man on campus, though, don’t get me wrong.

Hotch does outright laugh after he sends that, manages to keep it a little bit quieter, and commends himself on having the upperhand in the conversation for once as he stares at his phone for a few minutes, awaiting an answer. 

If he had to guess, Hotch supposes he’s held on to that stubborn image of Spencer being a stooped old professor out of habit. But the more the two have talked, after he'd gotten to know the man and his written verbal expressions and just the way his life runs day to day, it’s pretty easy to see that that is not correct. Spencer could be someone around Dave or Jason’s age, but more likely even younger than that -- closer to his own. 

And that… is an intriguing thought that sparks something in his chest. He smothers it with another sip of Scotch and realizes that it has been a solid five minutes of silence. With Spencer not even typing out a response.

[]9/8, 22:06[] Was it something I said?

[]9/8, 22:07[] No, I’m just… contemplating my answer.

[]9/8, 22:07[] Answer to what?

Hotch hasn’t drank that much, but he doesn’t believe he asked a question at all. He scrolls back through their conversation and doesn’t see one. Spencer has asked a good handful, though, all about Hotch’s perception of his age. 

Interesting.

[]9/8, 22:09[] Respond, not answer.

[]9/8, 22:10[] I’m all turned around now.

[]9/8, 22:12[] Flustered in your old age? Now I’m flattered. 

This is almost like flirting. Skirts the edges of it, and Hotch feels more emboldened to try the more Spencer tap-dances around what is obviously Hotch’s incorrect assumption of his age. He had had no idea Hotch thought he was older, that is apparent, and it’s throwing the other man for a loop for some reason Hotch can’t ascertain. 

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not old.

[]9/8, 22:15[] I’m not even older than you.

[]9/8, 22:16[] And how do you know that?

[]9/8, 22:17[] Just trust me on this.

[]9/8, 22:17[] Well, how old are you?

Another long, lengthy pause that Hotch waits for with baited breath. He knows that Spencer is there, that he’s staring at his phone and trying to decide the best way to answer without really answering anything. It’s only a matter of minutes, but that is a long time for them. When they are deep in a conversation like this.

Hotch isn’t laughing to himself anymore, but he’s more pleasantly confused than worried. He really has no idea what is making Spencer so hesitant.

[]9/8, 22:22[] Spencer?

[]9/8, 22:25[] I’m not going to tell you.

[]9/8, 22:26[] What, you want me to guess?

[]9/8, 22:28[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/8, 22:29[] That sounds like a challenge. How many guesses do I have?

[]9/8, 22:31[] None. Listen, I don’t want you to know. I shouldn’t have said anything.

[]9/8, 22:33[] I’m afraid it’s going to change your perception of me, and we’ll stop talking like this.

[]9/8, 22:34[] Just keep imagining me with wrinkles and a cane, I’m okay with that.

That drops the small smile right off his face.

Hotch is… surprised by this turn of events. What could be so shocking about this that Spencer thinks they would stop talking to each other? They’re corresponding every night. How could he possibly stop on a dime like that?

It doesn’t make any sense. And that’s not the alcohol talking.

[]9/8, 22:37[] I honestly don’t see how that would be possible.

[]9/8, 22:39[] I’m not going to stop talking to you just because you aren’t the senior professor I imagined running Caltech with an Iron Fist.

[]9/8, 22:40[] Now you’re projecting. 

[]9/8, 22:40[] You saying I’m too strict?

[]9/8, 22:41[] Tyrant, I think was the term I chose. 

[]9/8, 22:42[] Pretentious.

[]9/8, 22:44[] But Spencer, unless you are somehow underage with five Ph.D.’s, there’s no reason for us to stop talking. 

[]9/8, 22:47[] You would not believe how many people treat me like I'm underage, to this day. So that doesn’t inspire confidence.

Hotch pauses with his glass halfway back to his lips, only a few sips left in the glass. Staring at his phone and struggling to make sense of what Spencer is saying. Hotch had been trying to joke and tease with him, but now the word ‘underage’ feels like a glaring beacon of a word on his screen. 

He’s very suddenly more than a little nervous, even through the haze of alcohol. He is 45 years old, no matter what he keeps telling Spencer -- there is a limit to this being appropriate or not. What that limit is, he’d have to consider when he’s more sober, and it makes him feel like he should be reigning in the flirtatious notes that keep worming their way into the conversation. 

But it’s not actually possible for him to be that young, and everything he’s learned about the man indicates he’s closer to his own age. Was he in his 30’s? Even that felt too young for what Hotch had (subconsciously) profiled -- no, it has to be something else. 

No matter what, he didn’t want to keep getting Spencer worked up like this about it. His age hadn’t bothered Hotch before that night, so maybe if he drops it they can revert back to how they’d been spending their late evening hours before this turn in the conversation. 

[]9/8, 22:50[] But I’m NOT underage.

[]9/8, 22:51[] If that needed to be said.

[]9/8, 22:53[] Can you buy alcohol by yourself?

[]9/8, 22:54[] Yes.

[]9/8, 22:54[] See this is what I was afraid of.

[]9/8, 22:55[] Relax, I was trying to tease you. 

[]9/8, 22:57[] You don’t have to tell me, Spencer. I’ll just keep picturing Sean Connery, or John Steinbeck in the later years.

[]9/8, 22:59[] I see you have a type. 

[]9/8, 23:00[] Well, who do you picture when you think of me?

[]9/8, 23:01[] Hugo Weaving, Matrix era. Or Richard Feynman.

[]9/8, 23:02[] Well now I feel typecasted. Who’s Feynman?

[]9/8, 23:02[] An American Theoretical Physicist from the 40’s-60’s.

[]9/8, 23:03[] Ouch. How old do you think *I* am?

[]9/8, 23:04[] I’m afraid to answer that.

[]9/8, 23:04[] O.u.c.h.

[]9/8, 23:06[] You’ve been borderline flirting with me, and you just said you thought I was in my 60’s! What was I supposed to think?

[]9/8, 23:07[] If you’re looking in that age bracket, I’m sure I can get you the Biology Department Head’s number.

[]9/8, 23:07[] He’s 72 with rheumatoid arthritis. 

[]9/8, 23:08[] You are hysterical. So funny.

Hotch is smiling wide down at his phone again, feeling lighter and glad he got them back on track. 

But… 

He can’t help but think back to what he just tried to drop entirely. Blame the Scotch, or whatever drive to know that makes him dig down and root out information in cold cases in his spare time, Hotch doesn’t think he can let it go. Not when it was something Spencer hadn’t meant to be a secret in the first place. Not when, knowing that it has created misinformation between them unintentionally, results in Spencer shying away and hesitant to tell Hotch anything more about himself. 

Not when he’d said ‘flirting’, because that had been what Hotch was doing, and he can’t even describe how disappointing it would be to quit while he was ahead. When the build up has been so gradual and easy and everything he’d been looking for and could never seem to find.

Now, this slight disruption is sticking in his mind, sharp like a thorn in his side. Always there, making itself known, and he wonders if he is lucid enough to try and draw the information out of Spencer via interview tactics -- or if the brilliant man would see right through any of his attempts.

Probably. Who was he kidding? Spencer had more degrees and college hours under his belt than Hotch could manage in a lifetime. Best to do this the old fashioned way, then.

[]9/8, 23:10[] 38.

[]9/8, 23:11[] Oh. Really? That’s kind of young to be Unit Chief, congratulations.

[]9/8, 23:11[] No, not me. You. I’m guessing 38.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Oh.

[]9/8, 23:12[] Incorrect.

[]9/8, 23:13[] I don’t even get a hint?

[]9/8, 23:13[] Nope.

[]9/8, 23:15[] We’re not playing a game. I’m not telling you.

[]9/8, 23:15[] So you won’t guess my age, either?

[]9/18, 23:17[] Chicken.

[]9/8, 23:17[] 45.

Hotch near throws his phone across the room. Almost makes a quip about how reading his file is cheating -- but he knows Spencer just made a stupidly accurate ‘educated guess’ because he knows fucking everything. 

They really should just put him on the payroll. Hotch is being selfish keeping the man all to himself.

But God, is he enjoying it, too.

[]9/8, 23:19[] There’s no way you profiled that with that kind of accuracy. 

[]9/8, 23:20[] How do you do that?

[]9/8, 23:21[] Black magic.

[]9/8, 23:22[] I’ll get it out of you one day, I swear.

[]9/8, 23:23[] And as a man of your word, I believe that you truly believe that.

[]9/8, 23:23[] Full of jokes tonight, aren’t you?

[]9/8, 23:25[] I live to amuse. 

[]9/8, 23:25[] And make you smile.

[]9/8, 23:27[] You are one of the few that do.

With a careful pause, nothing left in his glass, a thought perched on the edges of his mind that is already watery with cognitive dissonance, Hotch starts typing before he’s even fully made the decision.

[]9/8, 23:30[] You really think my flirting is borderline? I was going for subtlety, but I must be rusty.

[]9/8, 23:32[] Actually, I just thought I was projecting.

[]9/8, 23:23[] You were married, I didn’t want to presume.

Oh. 

The consideration is touching, and sobering even in the dimness of his home office, but it draws the softest of smiles back to Hotch’s face when he begins to type out his answer.

[]9/8, 23:35[] Thank you, for thinking of me first.

[]9/8, 23:37[] But Haley and I separated a long time before she died. We were actually divorced before she went into WICSEC. I miss her every day. But I did try to date for a while, before that. 

[]9/8, 23:39[] No luck? I would have thought the FBI badge would at least garner some interest.

[]9/8, 23:40[] I’ve been told I’m intimidating.

[]9/8, 23:41[] I don’t think you are.

[]9/8, 23:42[] You will if you ever meet me. I’ve made underlings cry before without speaking a word.

[]9/8, 23:44[] The Hotchner stare. Have you coined that?

[]9/8, 23:45[] I should. It’s got a ring to it.

They banter and causally slip a few more… flirtatious comments in, and Hotch realizes it really isn’t that much different than before. That he had indeed been flirting with the man long before he knew his age. Which was odd, he didn’t typically go for older men and women. But now that he’s aware Spencer is younger than he thought, possibly even his own age (he swears he is, would put money on it if he could), somehow there’s more of a charge in their correspondence, a warmth and buzzing elation that has nothing to do with his Scotch. Especially now that it’s long gone.

It’s all Spencer, and how they compliment each other, and Hotch finds himself near giddy with that information.

He tries, towards the end of the night where it tips over into the early hours of the morning, to imagine an image of Spencer again -- and finds that he doesn’t even care to. He’s enamored with the man and his wit and the way he makes Hotch laugh without trying. How he looks, his age, it doesn’t matter. Not really. Not to Hotch.

But he is still curious why Spencer won’t reveal it. He can’t be that young.

[]9/9, 00:43[] You really won’t tell me?

[]9/9, 00:45[] Maybe one day. When I’m feeling brave.

[]9/9, 00:46[] Well, I’ll be there. Waiting. 

[]9/9, 00:46[] 32.

[]9/9, 00:47[] You’ll never guess.

[]9/9, 00:48[] There’s only so many numbers.

[]9/9, 00:50[] Goodnight, Hotch.

[9/9, 00:51] Goodnight, Spencer.

-

(tbc...)

-

Tagged List:  @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom​ @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat​​​ @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake

[jtl-fics]

I may have no idea what Pretty boy is about but will ask for it anyway because the word is now stuck in my head parrot-style

WIP Wednesday - 12/6/23 (closed) | Dealer's Choice: Pretty Boy

"It's always up in the air with you." Andrew answers pulling his hand away from the healing cut not finding any evidence that any thread had been left behind. "The work looks clean. They did good work." Andrew comments idly.

"It was pretty clean. I wish I'd been able to watch how they did it." Aaron comments coming back from wherever he had disposed of the stitches.

"Well you were too busy sucking face with Katelyn to come with us." Nicky huffs.

< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 6

Who the F*ck’s Rebecca? OR How the 3 Gays got Together

Virgil learns about Roman’s childhood, specifically his sister and how he ended up dating Patton and Logan.

Warning: Misgendering of a character (but no one knows that the character is trans)

Yes, Roman and Remus are brothers. Explanations are listed at the bottom

Chapter 5 | Masterlist | Chapter 7

V- (2:07 PM) Let it Go was the best song in Frozen and you cannot convince me otherwise

R- (2:07 PM) I respect your opinion, but hear me out: Love is an Open Door

V- (2:08 PM) No

R- (2:08 PM) What about Fixer Upper?

V- (2:09 PM) Still no.

P- (2:09 PM) I really liked Olaf’s song about Summer!

L- (2:10 PM) I personally enjoyed the reprise of First Time in Forever.

R- (2:10 PM) You like almost any song with a reprise

L- (2:10 PM)I will not argue that, as successfully executed reprises are “lit.”

R- (2:11 PM) Ah, and who among us could forget the absolute BOP that is… that weird ice-cutting song.

P- (2:11 PM) I don’t know, Roman. I think that song is, pretty COOL

R- (2:11 PM) Oh, lookout

V- (2:12 PM) What? He’s just saying it’s a CHILLED out groove.

R- (2:12 PM) Ugh

L- (2:12 PM) We might need you two to leave this chat if you don’t stop.

Virgil laughed, throwing his phone on the bed and stripping out of his clothes. He just finished jogging home from Janus’ (he didn’t own a car right now, preferring to walk or have Janus pick him up). It was a lazy afternoon in late September, and all Virgil wanted to do was get out of these sweaty clothes and maybe take a nap. He heard his phone go off multiple times as he got dressed, probably Patton and Logan arguing about the purpose of puns. He flopped down onto his bed and grabbed his phone, checking the new messages.

P- (2:14 PM) Lo, the Princes are calling.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman not to answer, Patton. We’ve been over this.

P- (2:14 PM) They’re asking about us, Lo.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman to hang up. They’re not worth it.

P- (2:15 PM) They’re yelling now, L. They brought up Rebecca. What do I do?

L- (2:15 PM) Just walk into another room, Patton. Ignore them. Do you want me to call you?

P- (2:15 PM) No, I’m good. Just keep texting me. I need a distraction.

Now, Virgil had no idea about what the fuck was going on. But he knew how to distract someone. He’d just have to trust them to tell him later.

V- (2:16 PM) Did you know that octopi have 3 hearts?

L- (2:16 PM) What

P- (2:16 PM) That just means they have more love to give!

V- (2:17 PM) The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

P- (2:17 PM) Such a good bird!

V- (2:17 PM) Babies do not regularly produce tears until they are 1-3 months old

L- (2:18 PM) Ah, I think I understand now

V- (2:18 PM) A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time. It stands for 1/1000th of a second

L- (2:18 PM) Falsehood. A jiffy is 1/100th of a second

V- (2:19 PM) Sorry, my hand must’ve slipped.

L- (2:19 PM) You would be unable to walk on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune because they have no solid surface.

L- (2:20 PM) An asteroid about the size of a car enters Earth’s atmosphere roughly once a year. However, it burns up before it can reach us.

L- (2:20 PM) The highest mountain known to man is on an asteroid called Vesta. It is approximately three times the height of Mount Everest.

P- (2:21 PM) I think they hung up. Thanks for keeping me company, Kiddos!

L- (2:21 PM) It was not an issue, Patton.

V- (2:21 PM) Yeah, no problem Pat. Now can someone explain what just happened?

L- (2:23 PM) As you can probably tell, I am not home at the moment. Apparently, Roman’s parents decided to call him and an argument broke out. The rest is not my place to say.

Virgil bit his lip, refusing to look at his phone screen. Did Virgil have the right to ask about that. It was obviously a very sensitive topic, and Virgil had only known Roman for about 3 months now. Virgil felt like he knew a lot about his 3 crushes (their quirks, their favorite sweets, their goals in life), but he knew very little about their lives before Virgil had met them. Which was fine; they knew very little about Virgil’s life, too. But he desperately wanted to help Roman; to make him feel happy and safe and loved. Virgil sighed, setting his phone on his nightstand. If Princey wants to tell me what’s going on, I’ll listen. If not, I’ll just have to deal with it.

Virgil woke up from his nap to the sound of his phone going off. He blindly felt around for it, his face still firmly planted in his pillow. He finally found it, turning it on before he lifted his head to read the text. It was a private message from Princey.

R- (3:02 PM) You’re probably wondering what happened today.

V- (3:02 PM) I am, but you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I’ll respect your privacy.

R- (3:02 PM) As much as I appreciate that, you still deserve to know.

R- (3:03 PM) Do you mind if I call you? This doesn’t feel like a conversation to have over text.

Virgil thought about it for a moment. He originally never wanted to call Roman, simply because he might recognize Virgil’s voice as Anxiety’s. However, not only was Virgil 99% confident that Roman had never even heard of The Dark Sides, Virgil’s head was still foggy after his nap. Before he knew it, he was already calling Princey’s phone.

“Virgil?” Roman didn’t sound as… grand as Virgil expected. His voice was subdued and slightly hoarse, probably from the screaming match with his parents.

“Heya, Princey.” Virgil cringed at how gravelly his voice sounded. He’ll need to get some water after this conversation is over.

“You sound so tired. Oh my stars, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep-”

“Princey, it’s okay. Just finished my nap. Might not talk much, but ‘m all ears.”

“Alright. Where do I even begin?”

“Take your time. ‘m not pressurin’ you or anythin’.”

“(sigh) You’re right. I guess I should start at the beginning. I grew up in a very... conservative household. My parents expected me and my sister, Rebecca, to be perfect. ReeRee was my partner in crime. We did everything together up until highschool. My parents expected me to get a football scholarship and date the hottest girl in school. I did those things, not because I wanted to, but because they wanted me to. ReeRee was a different story. When my parents signed her up for cheerleading, she tried to join the football team instead. When they told her she should wear her hair in a ponytail, she cut it off to match mine. I didn’t understand, and it made me angry. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror; she was starting to look more and more like me, and yet each change made my parents angrier. Why was looking and acting like me a problem? I thought they liked this version of me! One night in the summer before junior year I was really frustrated and I took it out on her. I told her to stop acting like me. I knew she didn’t deserve my anger, so I went to Patton’s place to cool down. By the time I came home, my parents refused to acknowledge that I even had a sister. I pushed her away, and now I’ll never get her back.

After that, things changed. I was so angry, and everything I saw reminded me of her. I quit the football team, because every time I went down to the field I expected to see her. I dyed my hair, because every time I looked in the mirror I saw her staring back. I stopped caring about what my parents thought, ‘cause it was their opinions that dragged me into this mess!

I had already been friends with Patton since Freshman year, but me and Logan had been at each other’s throats . We were always bickering about something, and sometimes I used our arguments to vent out my anger at whatever was wrong at the time. I didn’t even realize how much I had cared about Patton and Logan until I learned about the LGBTQ+ community. My parents were super strict, and Patton and Logan didn’t exactly flaunt their relationship. I had no idea that liking guys was even an option . Once I learned about it, my parents quickly tried to shut it down. Everyday, they’d start their day telling me that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ and ‘God made you to be the gender you were born with!’ If they had told me that before ReeRee left, I might’ve believed them. But by this point, I didn’t care about a single thing they told me.

So one day, I’m arguing with Logan about who knows what, and suddenly we’re inches apart, and I remember pa saying ‘ a boy should never kiss another boy.’ And just think, ‘Fuck it.’ And now me and Pocket Protector are suddenly making out behind the school building. Microsoft Nerd asks why the hell I decided to make out with him of all people, and I break down right there. He agreed to keep it a secret, but he refused to do anything more than a simple make-out session until he had Padre’s consent to do so. Which I understood, consent is important, cheating is bad.

Now we’re having these ‘sessions’ at least once a week for almost 4 months. Patton eventually walked in on us and he was understandably upset. I explained what had happened and that I’ve had a crush on both of them for a while. And they’re like ‘cool, we’re polyam.’ And now I’m starting senior year dating two men, which mom and pa were not okay with. I told ‘em to fuck off and we moved away as soon as we graduated. They still call occasionally, asking when I’m gonna get my life together and get over losing ReeRee. I haven’t blocked ‘em yet in case they find her or change their minds.”

Roman finally took a deep breath. “Sorry about the rant. Didn’t realise how badly I needed to get that off my chest.”

Virgil snorted. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Told ya I’d be a good ear. And Princey?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t gotta do anything to impress someone else. You bein’ you is good enough. And if Rebecca could see you, I’m sure she’d be proud as hell. And don’t be ‘fraid to hit me up if you need someone other than your SOs to rant to; I’ll always be here for ya, Princey.”

“... Thank you, Virgil. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until you said it.” He sighed, and Virgil could hear the sound of running water. “I’m gonna go drink some water. My throat burns like a bitch right now.”

“Same. Catch you later?”

He could hear Roman chuckle to himself. “I guess you shall. Farewell, Storm Cloud. And pleasant dreams!”

Virgil blushed. The way Roman said his nickname… it made Virgil’s gay heart nearly explode. He quickly hung up and buried his face back into his pillow. I’ll get water later. AFTER my heart stops racing.

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Now, for those of you wondering about why Virgil doesn't realize that Roman and Remus are brothers, I'm gonna put a quick explanation here, 'cause I don't know how to casually fit this into the story. 1.) Remus has never told Virgil his deadname or his last name. He's probably told Janus (since their pretty close) but Virgil doesn't know. 2.) Remus has never told Virgil that his brother's name is Roman. Additionally, when Virgil is talking about the 3 gays, he only calls them "Pat, Lo and Princey." 3.) Roman's parents didn't tell him that Remus transitioned, so he doesn't know that Rebecca now goes by Remus. Also, none of the characters have actually sent pictures of their faces, so none of them have any idea what the other looks like. 4.) It is a total coincidence that both twins moved to the same town. Remus believes that Roman still lives in their hometown, and Remus could be dead for all that Roman knows. There is no logical reason for them to think "maybe Virgil's friends with my long-lost sibling" 5.) Virgil would NEVER out his friends like that. He tells Janus and Remus everything, but he would NEVER betray Roman's trust like that. Same thing for telling Roman about Remus. Roman might know that Remus is trans, but he doesn't know about Remus' background. ONE LAST THING: Roman and Virgil will eventually see each other face-to-face but WON'T recognize each other's voices. This is because during the phone call Virgil is still groggy from waking up and Roman is still hoarse from screaming.

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Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

[danadeservesadrink]

Wine and Whiskey

Read on AO3 here

Chapter 1: Mulder’s POV

Scully arrives at his apartment with a bottle of wine on a Friday night and Mulder can't refuse. There's something so tempting about drinking wine from the bottle.

We’re just going to pretend that I didn’t wait almost a year to publish the second chapter for this fic. Reposting the first chapter here because I gave her a good fix-up. Tagging @today-in-fic

He had never been more mesmerized in his life than by Dana Scully drinking wine from the bottle.

She had shown up at his apartment holding it, bashfully admitting that she didn’t want to drink alone on a Friday night, practically entrapping him with a bat of her eyelashes. Of course he let her in.

It was rare that she let her guard down like this, but you wouldn’t catch him complaining. He ushered her in with a hand on her lower back and she made herself comfortable on his couch, flipping through the channels until she landed on a rerun of some history documentary. Her energy was palpable, nervous and confident and radiating. She gazed up at him with something just short of confidence and requested a corkscrew. Who was he to deny her.

Dana Scully sat on his couch in her maroon sweater and blue jeans on a Friday night at 9:06 pm and uncorked a bottle of white wine and he had never been more in love. Correction, he was more in love with her at 9:07 when she took a swig straight from the bottle. She drank and then let out a deep sigh, filled with all of the troubles of a not-so-9-to-5 FBI agent. He sat down opposite of her on the couch, matching her cross-legged position, and stared at her, mesmerized. She must have noticed, as she flushed and chuckled to herself, likely at the genuine absurdity of the situation.

“I’ve had a very long day,” she whispered defensively. He didn’t mind. She deserved to unwind. She passed him the bottle with a raised eyebrow and he almost denied.Thinking about how her lips and his would be touching the same lip of a bottle made him feel like a school boy analyzing the physics of cooties. He almost offered to go get them glasses, but she pushed the bottle towards him with an insistent smirk and he realized he was being ridiculous. He accepted, although still subtly trying to turn the bottle in a feeble attempt to avoid drinking from the same location she had, and he drank.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater. The wine was sweet, its flavor lingering on his lips.

“Bill’s an ass” She said, rolling her eyes. She reached out a hand for the bottle back, and he passed it over. She brought the bottle to her lips again with no rotations, clearly unconcerned with the dynamics of indirect kissing.

“Yea he is. What’d he do this time”. His previous attempt to forget how perfect she looked as she drank was a failure. Because Dana Scully was on his couch drinking wine from the bottle. He doesn't think any sane person could ever forget that.

“Called me up today to tell me how disappointed he was with me. How I’m a failure to our family and how I’m putting myself in danger for absolutely no reason” She laughed at this, and so did he, reveling in the ridiculousness of their day jobs. He shifted closer on the couch and she must have felt his concern because she clarified. “He heard about the case”.

Of course. Scully took down a murderer, a serial killer at that, with her own two hands, fighting through a warehouse of traps to get to him, to catch the bad guy. She shot him with his own gun but not before he sliced a nasty gash into her side with a pocket knife. All while he’d been knocked out on the cold cement in a pile of his own vomit. She followed his profile, found the warehouse, and took the bastard down and he was so god damn proud of her.  Bill didn’t see it but he sure as hell could.

“Bill’s an idiot” He said so sincerely it made her look up from staring into the wine.

“Yea. Yea he is” She whispered. She took another drink, and he was moving closer to her on the already small couch, like a moth to the light.

She’s so pretty. The way the TV fluorescence bounced off of her cheek, the way her hair was tied up but the short pieces in the front whisped around her face in perfect little curls. It took all of his strength not to reach over and brush one away from her eye when she tilted her head back to take another drink from the bottle. Her neck was perfect porcelain, he dreamed of running his lips over the smooth skin she exposed. When she finishes, he forces himself to look at the TV screen instead of the little drop of white wine remaining on her lip.

She looks down at the bottle, then up at him through her lashes. She was coy, vulnerable, he knew this step, whatever it was, was big. Scully had shown up to his apartment before, but it was usually due to work. Showing up with wine and personal feeling was teetering on the edge of something more than partnership. His eyes flick down to the bottle and she offers it to him. Their fingertips brush and he shudders. He sees her watching him drink.

They are rudely interrupted by the shrill ringtone of her cell phone.

She pulls it out of her pocket with a sigh, and he smirks.

“Hi Mom.” He hears the muted voice of Maggie Scully on the other end of the phone. She’s probably calling to apologize for her son’s behavior, and he’s pissed that she’s forced into that position.

“Well he was acting like a bastard!” Scully exclaimed, frustrated, and Mulder couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Scully shot him a glare, and he quickly pressed his lips together in silent surrender. She seems to be listening intently, so he shakes the wine bottle in her direction, forcing her to wave him off with an eye roll. As she mumbles “mmhmm” and “uh huh” he becomes bolder, eventually leaning over and trying to press the wine bottle to her lips. She pushed him back with a smirk, but reached for the bottle and took a drink before her next answer. It was his turn to smirk.

“I’m over at Mulder’s place” He grinned at her and tried to scoot in closer to hear Maggie’s response. She pushed him back again, this time with a softer smile.

“Work stuff” she said, avoiding eye contact with him. The irony of her statement was not lost, and he tried to repress the laugh that bubbled up within him. He caught her blushing.

“I’ll let him know. Bye Mom” She quickly hung up the phone and proceeded to drink a good 6 swigs before handing the bottle back to him, shameless. He hadn’t realized it was almost empty.

The concept of Dana Scully, the Catholic raised and pant-suit wearing professional, drinking wine at a man’s apartment at night while on the phone with her equally proper mother made him chuckle. He wonders if this is the first time she’s done this.

“What did your mom want to tell me?” he asked with a grin. She blushed again. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or if the wine was getting to her. Maybe both.

“She just wanted to say hi” she glanced at the bottle in his hands, avoiding his eyes. He let the little white lie slip past them as a gift to a friend. “You gonna finish that?”

He shook his head. He was worried that any more and he would start acting in ways that would make Maggie Scully very disappointed.

Scully pouted at his response, but leaned even closer to him, grabbed the bottle, and downed the rest of it, tilting her head all the way back to allow the last drops to trickle from the bottom of the bottle into her throat. Something about her throat made him want to mark it with his teeth. Jesus, the effect she had on him was insane.

She finished, and returned to gazing in his eyes with an impish smirk. He must have still been staring because she burst into a fit of giggles. Despite all the Irish blood in her, Scully was still a small  woman who had just drank nearly a full bottle of wine.

“Scully are you drunk?” He teased. She burst into another fit of giggles as she shook her head, still smiling like the cat that ate the canary. He loved the sound of her laugh. He never wanted it to stop. He would personally fight every demon in this world so that she never had to stop smiling at him like she was right now.

She felt loose, unrestrained, and so did he. They were so comfortable with each other in the strangest of ways, and this wine laden journey was just another layer. Intimacy for them often came in small touches and promises of protection, least of all through physical affection. But tonight, all bets were off, as Dana Scully, goddess in blue jeans, used his shoulder to push herself off his couch and waltzed into his kitchen, swaying her hips like the little vixen she was.

“Where you going?” He called after her, but the only reply was the sound of a cabinet being opened and the melodious giggle he had come to adore.

She was reaching for the top shelf when he walked in the kitchen behind her. Her prize was obvious. Striding up behind her he placed one hand on her hip and reached with the other for the half full bottle of whiskey her outstretched fingers were wiggling towards.

He almost dropped it when he felt her step back into him. He flexed the hand still fixed to her hip as he felt a shiver run through him. As quickly as she came, however, she was gone, instead turning around to grab at the bottle he was holding. He reacted quicker, sober reflexes triumphing over hers, pulling it back and raising an eyebrow in response to her pouty lips. Drunk Scully was a dangerous creature, a tempting siren who could bend any man to her will. All he wanted was to please her.

“And why should I give you some of my emergency whiskey?”, he teased.

“Because I’ve had a terrible day, and now I’m out of wine”. She had to know what she was doing to him. Looking him straight in the eye, pushing her lip out even further. He rolled his eyes, laughing again under his breath.

“What’s the magic word”

And oh Dana you know how to make a man give you anything. There is no magic word, only Scully tilting her head back, closing her eyes, and opening her mouth, tongue stuck out and waiting. The vision was enthralling.

She peeked an eye open when she heard him toss the cap on the counter, but closed it again with a giggle when she realized he had caught her. He shook his head, exhaling softly. With reverence, he gave her what she wished.  

The whiskey hit her tongue with a burn of ice and fire, and he watched as it slid down into her mouth, filling her up until he stopped pouring, and she swallowed. He had never wished to be a liquid before. She coughed before smiling up at him, eyes sparkling even though the closest light was now the television.

“Your turn” She smirked and took the bottle from his hands.

“I don’t think you can reach” he countered, but she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled down.

He would never deny her.

He got down on his knees on his kitchen floor, and it was only right that Scully should be the altar he prayed to. Still smirking, he first closed his eyes as she had, then stuck out his tongue to await the drink of his goddess. She poured sloppily, the hand of a distracted woman, and he had to swallow before she was finished, causing her to spill some on his lips and chin.

He opened his eyes to see her giggle, mumble an apology, and lean over him. He barely registered what was happening before he felt her tongue, that perfect tongue, lap up a stray drop off of his cheek. He gasped, sharply. She pulled back, only a few inches, still leaning over him. He gazed up into her eyes and saw his arousal mirrored in them.

“It’s your emergency whiskey, I didn’t want to waste it.” She smirked her perfect lips as she whispered. Her breath smelled like sweet wine and sharp whiskey. It was intoxicating. He closed his eyes as he felt her finger raise his chin to the heavens. She licked again, this one on his jawline, and he moaned. He felt her laughter in puffs of air on his cheek.

“Scully…” he whispers, a halfhearted attempt to salvage a professional partnership he knew had been tossed out of the window the second she walked in tonight.

She ran a finger over his lips to silence him and he thought he might black out.

All he wants is her. His body shakes with the thought.

She brings both hands to cup his cheeks, whiskey bottle long forgotten, and presses her lips to his.

The feeling is that of resurrection. It’s an electric shock coursing through his body, lighting every nerve he has on fire, his thoughts only attuned to her, her, her. He remembers he has hands, and uses them to pull her closer, cupping the back of her neck with ferocity. She opens her mouth and he tastes her tongue. The taste of salvation and moscato.

He breaks the kiss only to rise up to his full height before he descends upon her, grabbing her gently by the waist, still mindful of her injury, but equally desperate. She tangles a hand into his hair and pulls him into her. He could get lost in her mouth, following the flow of the whiskey before him, lips then tongue, fire and ice. She moaned into his mouth and he tightened his grip on her. His mouth traced the path his eyes had followed earlier. Off the curve of her lips, down to her jawline, where he licked and sucked and did everything in his power to remember the taste of her skin. She whimpered when he reached her pulse point, taking the fist in his hair and desperately pressing him against it. He nipped at her flesh, and then kissed it better.

“Fuck” she drew out, shaking, and it made him wild. He sucked harder, knowing full well the dark purple bruise it was going to leave. Both of them couldn’t give a shit. When he finished, he kissed his way up to her ear.

“Mine” he growled, and she shuddered in his arms. He carefully tugged on her earlobe with his teeth as he felt her nod against him.  

“Yours” she whispered back. It was all the permission he needed.

He carefully traced his fingers up her sides, dragging the fabric of her top along with it. Her chest was heaving, their breaths mixing together in a cocktail of arousal and alcohol. He felt the bandage covering the wound from the warehouse and a pang of guilt passed over him. She sees it in his eyes and uses her own hands to push his higher, past the evidence of their last foul memory. He reached up to the bottom of her breasts and with a shock realized that her sweater had been hiding a secret.

“Were you planning…” he dotted her collarbone with marks from his lips, sucking softly along each delicate curve “... on telling me…” another kiss “...that you weren't wearing a bra?” kiss , kiss , kiss .

“I was more hoping that … ah shit...you would find out for yourself”

He had to be dreaming. Any minute he would wake up in his bed horny and alone like every Saturday. But then she kissed him again and he figured that if this was a dream he hoped he was fucking comatose because he never wanted to wake up. He traced his hands over the underside of her breasts again and felt her body shake at his caress. Quickly he pushed the sweater up and over her head, careful to not disturb her bandage, her arms raising to help. And then she was topless in his kitchen on a Friday night and he was going to study her like she was a sculptor and she was his Venus. He would memorize every curve of her perfect body with his hands over and over and over.

“Well?”

He had been staring. How could you not when Dana fucking Scully was blushing and breathless in your arms. But there would be time for starting later. He turned his mind to devouring her.

He palmed her breast and kneaded, watching in awe as her head fell backward and a sigh escaped her lips. He asked for permission through a silent question tossed up at her and she nodded a desperate nod. His lips continued their trail downward, licking and sucking on the hills and valleys of her chest until he came to her nipple, where he paused to circle it with his tongue. At the same time he flicked her right nipple he took the left one into her mouth. Her head shot forward, the hand in his hair pulled him forward into her, and she let out the most guttural moan of “ Mulder ”. His name had never sounded more perfect than when it came out of her mouth. He spent some time there, licking and sucking, pulling with his teeth then soothing with his tongue, just trying to get her to make different sounds. Curses flew from her mouth with ease and he was reminded of the rebellious streak in her. The deviant Dana Scully that cursed and drank and fucked. He loved this side of her. He’s drunk off of her and whiskey and wine and he can only think that he needed more. His brain is buzzing and he’s sure he didn’t have that much wine but maybe it's just the smell of her skin that's so intoxicating.

“Mulder I need you”

He looked up to meet her eyes and saw her staring back at him, breathless and hungry.

“Now.”

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[harlot-of-oblivion]

✨ Fairies May Cry ✨

(Vergil and Pixie Reader)

Chapter 1: The Tall Man In Blue

Chapter 2: Let Me Be Your Fairy

Chapter 3: A Proper Name

Chapter 4: Pocket Protector

Chapter 5: Introducing Peaseblossom

Chapter 6: The Tall Man In Red

Chapter 7: The Bestest Flowers

Chapter 8: What’s a Bikini?

Chapter 9: Operation: Make Pretty Boy Blush Again

Chapter 10: Pretty Boy’s Lost Marbles

Chapter 11: Strawberry Snow

Chapter 12: A Feast Fit for Fairies!

Chapter 13: Pretty Boy to the Rescue!

Chapter 14: How to Lecture a Troublesome Fairy

Chapter 15: Lil’ Blossom’s Apology

Chapter 16: Pretty Pixie Pizza!

Chapter 17: The Best Pizza Ever

Chapter 18: Three Simple Tasks

Chapter 19: Doing The Impossible

Chapter 20: Red Lippy Stick

Chapter 21: The Bestest Adventure

Chapter 22: The Bestest Girlfriend

Updated: 05/07/2022

[espejonight28738]

15×12, Galaxy Brain meta

Where we don't know Cas place in the story, because he won't be written by anyone

First of all, a warning: This was written with my clown makeup on🤡

Second of all, eternal thanks to @verobatto-angelxhunter without her, I would still be crying for somethkng that was surely an error of the writers, and this wouldn't have been possible XD.

Now, I've noticed that the strong belief that Cas was gonna be a key part of Chuck's defeating is... dying, to say it somehow. And honestly I don't understand because everything is crystal clear according to me.

When Billie gave the boy the whole "You are the messengers of God's destruction" speech (and hell that was intense) I think we all though the same.

Jack, Dean and Sam. Once again, it's like Cas is not even there.

In any other season, I would probably believe that's because the writers are professionals at ignoring Cas, and they are, but I don't think that's the reason this time.

You do not point out a problem and then continue to make the same mistake. It would be ridicoulus. This season they have been pointing at Cas unexplainable/forced absences since almost the begining.

After he was pretty much ignored in the first 2 episodes (except for the 'we are' speach which I'll love forever). Then, for the first time, he voluntary went away. Not because he had something to do, not because he felt undeserving of staying, and not because non-born Jack had mess with hos mind or whatever.

And from there we have his absence in 15×04 (my meta about that episode here) where it was CALLED OUT. Becky said it. "No one even mentions Cas." And that alone could be a funny meta-fiction moment, but it doesn't end there, right?

Funny that in a chapter we know Chuck was writting as we were seeing it, he didn't write Cas.

In 15×05 (meta here) we could see a more clear parallel between Sam and Dean/ the werewolves brother because the absence of Cas put them in an isoleted situation, similar to the one the werewolves lived in. Besides, this was another Written By Chuck Episode.

In 15×06 we did have Cas (yei), but he was on his own case. In an episode we *know* Chuck wrote (he confessed in 15×09 bringing Eileen back was part of his plan), Cas was in an unrelated case.

In 15×07, Cas comes back to the bunker. Just in time for Sam to go into Chuck's head. That was NOT Chuck's plan.

In 15×08 was still not Chuck's plan. He didn't want them to contact Micheal. Cas not only did that, he managed to persuade Micheal/Adam to help by sharing his memories of who Chuck really is.

In 15×09 we saw a preview of a possible future. In this one, is in Cas *absence* (him going mad and then being locked in the Ma'lak box) that Dean pretty much gives up. He still will do anything to help Sam, but the fight in him is gone. He accepts his "destiny" in ending of the story.

In 15×10 we have... another chapter completely (or mostly) written by Chuck. Taking their "main character powers" he's proving them, or at least trying to, that He is still the writer, and they are just the characters.

And again we have no Cas. Curious, isn't it? Almost as if Chuck can't make him his character.

In 15×11 we have Cas separated of Dean and Sam again. Here I think 2 detalis are specially important.

First, the moment Cas gets re-introduced, his mission is to re-introduce Jack again. Then, we know for sure Cas keeps playing outside of Chuck's game, never once being his piece.

Second, we have Dean and Sam compared to "Heros, like in the old times". Don't get me wrong, I LOVED that, almost cry, but something about it kept bothering me.

I kept trying to write a meta about it, but I couldn't define the problem. Now I find it.

Think of any hero of the greek/roman mythology. Anyone.

They all are peons of the Gods. Hector, Aquilles, Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus, Heracles, Jason.

They always are solving the Gods' messes, or they are a piece in the Gods' games of chess. Or they ended up in the bad side of a God and for that has a less than ideal story (as Heracles about that one XD).

Some of them have better endings than other, but none of them are really free, are they? Always submitted to the will of the Gods. Those are the people Fortuna was comparing Dean and Sam to.

And Cas was, once again, absent.

Finally 15×12. @verobatto-angelxhunter kinda beat me to say it (here her meta), but the fact that Billie, who was one of the most important rols in bringing Chuck's demisse, took the time to remind us that she is Death because Cas killed her as a ripper. He wrote that part of the story.

Even though he did such a crucial thing, he doesn't get mentioned as "messenger of God's destruction" (Billie was so extra with that I love her).

I mean, even if he was k-word before they ended Chuck, he has played a good enough part to at least have some recognition, right? Right??

Unless Billie doesn't know.

Unless it's something that doesn't happen in the books. It's not like the books can't make mistakes. The book were wrong about the Ma'lak box as the only non-apocalyptic outcome for the whole Micheal mess. (The solution there was Jack, who is also someone who doesn't play by Chuck's rules and wasn't part of the story) (And is alive because of Cas' taking care of Kelly and the his deal with the Empty. All of that was Cas.)

Going back in the episode to Chuck's monologue in the store. In the TVs we could see all the AU that "didn't spark joy". That gave him the ending he wanted but lacked something.

You remember what called my attention of Sam's dreams of the AUs? Cas wasn't in any of them. Even if we know he must have existed (Benny appearing is an indication of that) Chuck just got rid of him at some point. That is what all those non-sparklers of joy have in common. Then, is not naïve to think, taking all I have already said in this meta into account, that this Cas has something none of the others had. A glitch that allows him to be the blue pill or something like that.

"But that's something pretty big, they would have to talk about it eventually." Y'all may be thinking.

Yes, they need to adress it eventually. You know, if only they confirmed a Cas-centric episode...

...yeah, exactly like that.

The first Castiel centric episode we have since, what? The Man Who Would Be King?

He needed an entire episode because it turned out he had been lying to the Winchester the whole season. He was now the big bad of season 6. Of course he needed an episode.

What do you think they can do with a Cas-centric episode now?

Tagging: @metafest @agusvedder @legendary-destiel @that-one-fandom-chick @studio-hatter

[lam-ila]

30 Questions Challenge

Tagged by @missdawnandherdusk

Name: Maleeha

Gender: Female

Star sign: I don’t pay attention to it but it’s Taurus

Height: 5’4 3/4” so basically 5’5”

Time: Idk if it wants the time rn or the time I was born but it’s 8:39 am rn and I was born 1:07 pm (somewhere around there, I can’t remember the exact minute) edit: i was born 1:04 pm. Pretty close to what I originally thought

Birthday: May 4th (yes ik, Star Wars Day!)

Favourite bands: twenty one pilots, AJR, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, also I like musicals

Favourite solo artists: Billie Eilish, Panic! at the Disco (cuz now it’s just Brendon Urie)

Song stuck in my head: Birthday Party by AJR

Last movie: Moana

Last show: The Mandalorian (no spoilers, I’m on chapter 6)

When did I create this blog: idk and idk how to check it

What do I post: anything from political stuff to hockey to Marvel to Harry Potter to Star Wars to musical things (it’s a mess)

Last thing googled: how to say shut up in French (I take French okay)

Other blogs: none

Do I get asks: nope

Why I chose my URL: the first three letters of my first name and my full last name backwards with a dash in between cuz it looks cool

Following: 31

Followers: 3

Average hours of sleep: 7

Lucky number: don’t believe in those but I used to say 4

Instruments: flute, piano, ukulele, mallet percussion (previously), kazoo, and I’m trying to learn the guitar

What am I wearing: my pjs

Dream job: architect

Dream trip: Disney World

Favourite food: chicken karahi with chawaal (it’s a Pakistani dish)

Nationality: American and Canadian

Favourite song(s): according to Spotify- Bang! by AJR, Cabinet Battle #1 from Hamilton, you should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish, Earth to Asguard from Thor, and Take a Break from Hamilton. Actual favourite song- House of Gold by twenty one pilots (I buy their songs so I don’t listen to them on Spotify)

Last book I read: The Great Gatsby (read it in English class)

Top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: MCU, Star Wars, and Harry Potter

Tagging: @just-ur-average-geek, @darkherolovercroissant, @storytravelled (the three people who follow me), and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it