#Prinny Speaks;

[all-fleshed-out]

talk about pikmin more please i love hearing about pikmin

THE VOICES, THE FCKING VOICES---

[bogleech]

THINGS THAT WERE GOOD IN THE ORIGINAL "DISGAEA: HOUR OF DARKNESS:" This game helped further popularize the trope of "this is an ADULT demon fellas it just incidentally looks 13 ;)" and ran with that even more as the series went on, but in my late teens I had a lot of fun with the game itself and the following things were great:

This unbeatable ghost design, look at that face

I thought the "treant" was really cool!

The badass pumpkinhead monster type that's always smoking. Of course a pumpkinhead smokes!! Its basic attack animation had it take the cigarette out and hold it out of the way while it stabbed with a big ass knife. Amazing.

The generic male dark mage just called a "skull," with his outfit sewn into him?! He was voice acted with weird "MMMMPH!!!" noises because of his face stitched shut. DO NOT look up what they did to this design in later installments.

The shark dragons oddly translated as "serpents"

It wasn't even normal in-universe for a succubus to look like a prepubescent kid and the normal succubi performed all bite and drain attacks with a hidden snake head that morphed out of their tails; biologically speaking that makes it their "real mouth" doesn't it??? But then what's that make the one on their humanoid head :( Is this a situation where the whole creature is backwards and the "tail" is even the real head or are they like girafarig with a brain at both ends?! Anyway they don't let you put away the core main characters, but I actually had them hang back and stubbornly played the whole game with a Halloweeny Monster team of just all these.

I guess the series mascots the Prinnies bear mentioning because if you didn't know what was up with them, these weird peg-legged penguin dolls, which explode when anyone throws them, are canonically the vessels human souls or defeated demons have to occupy in hell. I don't know if there's a Japanese pun behind their concept or it was just a lolrandom marketable animal

[manygalaxiesinone]

Just for fun, here's how I imagine Charlie Morningstar reacting to Disgaea: Hour of Darkness (Pt. 1)

Episode 1:

Charlie: "Wait, so your dad passed away 2 years ago and your first reaction was "why didn't you wake me up?" You're not the least bit heartbroken?"

-later...-

Charlie: "I don't know what those prinnies are, but they look cu- Hey! Stop picking on them Etna! That's so mean of you!"

-later...-

Charlie: "Wait, if Vyers was the one taking out most of the competition for the throne, then why was he only the first boss of the game? Was he serious when he said he was holding back?"

-later...-

Charlie: "Who's Etna talking to? Alastor! You're not planning an assassination with a succubus behind my back, are you?!"

Alastor (from the background): "Why my dear, I would never DREAM of doing such a thing without your prior knowledge."

Vaggie (from the background): "Just because you don't dream about it, doesn't mean you won't do it."

Alastor (from the background): "True, but if it makes you feel better, I'm not planning any as of this moment."

Episode 2:

Charlie: "This Flonne girl may be an angel, but she seems really swee- wait, what's this about an assassination?"

-later...-

Charlie: "Vulcanus seems as bad as Adam and what does Lamington mean he's not fit for this task? Is there another reason why he sent Flonne to the Netherworld?"

-later...-

Flonne (through the screen): "The angels all say that demons are evil, but are they really? It doesn't seem fair to judge somebody based on rumors alone."

Charlie: "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE LONGEST!!!"

Angel (in the background): "Trying to get some beauty sleep here, Charlie!"

-later...-

Charlie: "So Lamington IS plotting something with someone... but who? And why do they want Flonne to meet Laharl so bad?"

-later...-

Flonne (through the screen): "Durian Dragon Dranyago! Dragon come forth!"

Charlie: "Angels can summon dragons?! How is that fair?!"

-later...-

Flonne (through the screen): "Demons don't know sadness?"

Laharl (through the screen): "Exactly! I've never experienced such an emotion in my entire life!"

Flonne (through the screen): "If that's true, does that mean demons don't know love either? Sadness is only possible because of love."

Laharl (through the screen): "That's right. Demons have no love either."

Charlie: "Don't listen to him! That kid is lying through his teeth! He does not speak for us!"

Chapter 3:

Charlie: "I don't approve of robbing someone else of their cash, but at least they're paying their workers."

-later...-

Flonne (through the screen): "Is he always like this?"

Etna (through the screen): "Yup. Always."

Flonne (through the screen): "I never met anybody like that in Celestia."

Etna (through the screen): "I'd be amazed if you did."

Charlie: "Given how Adam is, I wouldn't."

-later...-

Charlie: "Okay, so you're telling me that prinnies work in both the Netherworld and Celestia in order to atone for their sins and reincarnate into their next life? YOU MEAN ALL I HAD TO DO TO WIN MY COURT CASE WAS TO SHOW HEAVEN AN F-ING PRINNY?!!!"

Alastor (from the background): "Quite unfortunate that we don't have any here in hell, isn't it?"

Vaggie (from the background): "Even if they did exist, I bet Adam would just hide any evidence of them."

Charlie: "He would do that, wouldn't he, that jerk!"

-later...-

Charlie: "That's... King Krichevskoy? He does seem rather... majestic for a lack of a better term. Hehe... Wait, how can you choke on a black pretzel? Did he forget to chew one day?"

Angel (from the background): "Nah, his throat game was just weak!"

-later...-

Lamington (through the screen): "Listen carefully Flonne, there is no such thing as absolute evil or absolute good. The angels assume they are good and the demons are evil. That is an unfortunate misconception. Demons do have love. The angels... and in fact most demons, just do not realize it."

Charlie: "Exactly! This guy gets it! I approve this guy. What's his name? Seraph Lamington? I like you, Seraph Lamington. Really wish you were the Seraph judging my trial."

Husk (from the background): "...Should we tell her?"

Alastor (from the background): "And spoil the fun for later? Why in Lucifer's red hell would we do that?"

Chapter 4:

Charlie: "Oh great, it's Vulcanus again. What's he doing here? ...Okay, he's clearly plotting something and is paranoid of Flonne for some reason. Hey! Get out of her room you creep! Don't take her stuff!"

-later...-

Flonne (through the screen): "An angel trainee cannot stay in the Netherworld very long without that pendant... At this rate, I will lose all my energy and eventually die..."

Charlie: "Oh that Vulcanus is SO on my shit list! Actually... Vaggie!"

Vaggie: "Yeah?"

Charlie: "You're not relying on some item so you won't fade away and die while you're staying here, are you?"

Vaggie: "Well, I'm a fallen angel, so it's not it matters at this point."

Charlie: "Right. Just making sure. But if you were and it went missing, you'd tell me right away, right?"

Vaggie: "Aww, you worry too much Charlie." Kisses her. "Just enjoy the show."

Charlie: *blushes* "That doesn't... answer my que-" *gets kissed again* Okay..."

-later...-

Charlie: "Etna, there's lava and magma everywhere. Of course it's going to be hot. And maybe prinnies would be nicer if you treat them better. Ever thought of that?"

-later...-

Charlie: "Ha! That's right! Have a dose of Karma, you angel creep! Oh nice, they caught up with Vyers. Now all he has to do is give Flonne back the pendant and- why isn't he giving her back the pendant? Why isn't the pendant burning his hand right now?! WHY IS EVERYONE FIGHTING AGAIN?!!"

-later...-

Charlie: "I'd feel bad for Vyers, but this wouldn't have happened if he just gave back the- No! The pendant!"

Laharl (through the screen): "Don't make such a pitiful face"

Charlie: "Laharl! He found it! And without so much as a burn mark on him despite diving right into lava. What is he made of?"

Flonne (though the screen): "You pretend to be evil, but there is definitely kindness in your heart. To give you the opportunity to realize that kindness... That is my reward for you."

Charlie: "Oh! I love this idea! I should use that. Let me write that down right quick!"

Episode 5:

Charlie: "Hey don't laugh. I'm sure whatever is on that photo, it can't be that bad."

Angel (in the background): "You say that, but I bet you're dying to see it, aren't you?"

Charlie: "No I'm not!"

-later...-

Charlie: "Really? That's his weakness? Who gets physically hurt from someone using optimism and empathy?"

Husk (whispers): "Wait, she doesn't know about empathy killer?"

Alastor (whispers): "What did I say about spoiling the fun, husk?"

-later...-

Charlie: "Laharl can't stand sexy bodies either? ...Hey Angel?"

Angel: "I know what you're about to ask and the answer is no!"

-later...-

Charlie: "Oh so THAT'S the person Etna was talking to. Wait, is Maderas really this salty after being caught stealing black pretzels?"

Alastor (from the background): "Oh my dear child, you have no idea how little it takes for someone to hold an everlasting grudge."

Vaggie (from the background): "Yeah, I bet you have a lot of experience in that department, don't ya?"

Husk: (Oh damn, if that's an understatement if I ever heard one)

-later...-

Charlie: "See! I KNEW Vyers is holding back! He was in bandages before! How did he recover so quickly?! And Etna, if your plan was to not kill Laharl, then why did you poison him anyway? Did you make sure to only use enough to put him in a coma for 2 years? Did you use a different type of poison than what Maderas gave you? "

Vaggie: "Okay, calm down Charlie. I think it's time for a quick break so you won't lose it."

Charlie: "I just have... so many questions..."

Vaggie: "And with a good drink, you'll forget all about it, right Husk?"

Husk: "Yeah yeah. Who's idea was this again?"

-later...-

Charlie: "Okay, I'm all calm now and it looks like Laharl forgave Etna for her treason. That's good. Those passive aggressive remarks is a bit eyebrow raising though."

Flonne (through the screen): "I don't understand it, but I guess demons have their own way of expressing love."

Angel Dust (in the background): "You can say that again, honey!"

Charlie: "Not like that, Angel!"

Angel Dust (in the background): "But am I wrong though?"

Episode 6:

Charlie: "Laharl, you sure you don't want to push this contest back a few days? You know, give yourself time to prepare? I can understand being eager to take the throne, but this is pushing it."

Etna (through the screen): "Prince, is this offer available for anyone?"

Laharl (through the screen): "Are you an idiot? There's no deed to the title of overlord! This is a trap."

Charlie: "Hey! No fair that's fraud! Plain and simple! You can't just intentionally give your subjects false hope like that!"

Husk (in the background): "I don't know about you, but I think they stopped being your subjects, the moment they try to kill ya."

Alastor (in the background): "Quite an effective method to weed out all the backstabbers."

-later...-

Laharl (through the screen): "I know I encouraged everyone to participate but... isn't this a bit much?"

Charlie: "Come on, it can't be that ba-" -!!- "Fucking shit, this place is more packed than an anime convention!"

-later-

Laharl (through the screen): "Trying to make a fool out of me?! I'll make you moan in pain!"

Charlie: "Ahh... he's as bad as my dad..."

Angel Dust (in the background): "I'm saving that quote though!"

-later...-

Charlie: "Etna, Laharl just forgave you for betraying him in the last chapter and you're already talking about pulling a coup? You really are as bad as the V- ooh, baseball!"

-later-

Overlord (through the screen): "puny boy. What you see before you represents a fraction of my power"

Laharl (through the screen): "Well, that's really hard to tell since I can only see part of you."

Etna (through the screen): "Yup. You're just too big."

Overlord (through the screen): "Fine! If it's size you're concerned about, I can make adjustments!"

Lucifer: "Charlie, are you watching porn in there?!"

Charlie: "Dad! It's not what it sounds like! That was out of context!"

Lucifer: "I thought you were into women!"

Charlie: "I'm bi, Okay?!"

-later-

Charlie: "Ooh, this game has their own Sentai heroes! I loved watching these growing up. I wonder what their megazord looks like."

Flonne (through the screen): "You call yourselves "Prism Rangers", but you only have 3 colors. That's not even enough for a rainbow."

Charlie: "..." slowly takes out a pen and paper.

Vaggie (in the background): "Charlie, we're not doing that!"

Charlie: "Oh come on! We would all look so cool together!"

-later-

Charlie: "Hey! They were just about to summon the zords! Ugh! That was SO uncool Etna!"

-later-

Charlie: "Laharl, I'm surprised you didn't see Vyers coming once you got there. He is your rival after all."

Alastor (through the background): "Is it really a rivalry if he's never won a fight?"

-later-

Charlie: "Okay, there was a lot more bloodshed than I hoped, but now that Laharl's the overlord, all this chaos should come to an end, right? Wait, why should Flonne be worried about helping Laharl claim the throne?"

Vulcanus (through the screen): "This is no longer a case of disobeying orders. This is treason!"

Charlie: "What? She just helped someone claim a throne, It's not that bad, right?"

Vaggie (through the background): "Actually it is."

Lucifer (through the background): "Yeah, it's an actual law in heaven. This is highway treason."

Charlie: "Oh... shit."

Episode 7:

Flonne (through the screen): "Ever since you became the overlord, you've done nothing but laugh."

Laharl (through the screen): "Laughing is a very important aspect of being an overlord."

Lucifer & Alastor (in the background): "Not wrong!"

Charlie: "Hey, you two finally agreed on something."

Lucifer: "Of course! As the ruler of hell, I had years of practice. The trick is the slow build up chuckle to the bombing guffaw like that kid just did."

Alastor: "Please, true masters of fear know that echo area is everything. You need the right spot to send shockwaves of your voice as far as possible to send shivers down as many spines as possible."

Lucifer: "And how are you going to do that if your laugh is as weak as a whimper?"

Alastor: "Better that than risk throwing out your voice for the rest of the day."

Charlie: "And there it is..."

-later...-

Laharl (through the screen): "Call me "your highness". I'm the overlord now."

Etna (through the screen): "Come on, that's a minor detail."

Lucifer, Husk, Alastor and Laharl: "MINOR detail?!"

Charlie: "And we're back to everyone agreeing. Am I missing something?"

-later-

Etna (through the screen): "It may be ridiculous to you, but it's important to him! This is a perfect way to begin your rule as overlord! And if you don't do it, I'll NEVER accept you as the overlord!"

Angel Dust: starts munching on popcorn "I'm really starting to like this Etna girl."

Charlie: "I mean she's not wrong, though I never heard of any overlord doing that before."

Lucifer: "You could have atoning overlords look for all the ducks I scattered across the place."

Charlie: *gasp* "Dad! That's a great idea! Let me write that down!"

-later-

Charlie: "Wait, who would keep a zombie as a pet?"

Nifty: "Hey! Check out the zombie I found abandoned on the street!"

Vaggie: "Nifty, NO!"

-later-

Etna (through the screen): "Back when I started working at the castle, I was teased and picked on for being a commoner."

Flonne (through the screen): "YOU were? That's hard to believe."

Vaggie & Angel Dust: "Not really."

-later-

Etna (through the screen): "When I told the king what happened, he helped me bury my pet."

Flonne (through the screen): "He must have been a kind man."

Charlie: "He really does sound very nice."

Lucifer: "Ain't he the same guy the froze all of the Netherworld's water after Laharl was born?"

Alastor: "And split one of the human worlds in half after his wife died?"

Angel Dust: "Someone tell Nifty to get a new freshener, because this place is starting to wreak with envy."

-later-

Aremis (through the screen): "The fists of a dark karate master, the legs of the fastest demon in the Netherworld, the brain of Mahogany, the Iron Body of Hercules... and a horse wiener! All combined into one, the Netherworld's ultimate zombie!"

Laharl & Charlie: "A horse wiener?!"

Lucifer: "You sure this isn't a porn, Charlie?"

Angel Dust: "Trust me, if it was, that horse wiener would be in full view for everyone to see right before it gets shoved down someone's ass."

-later-

Laharl (through the screen): "And don't bother to thank me. If you want to show gratitude, you can repay me with your body."

Etna (through the screen): "I never knew you were like that."

Angel Dust: "Okay, on second thought, maybe this is a porno."

Charlie: "This is NOT an A rated game!"

-later-

Flonne (through the screen): (If you open your heart, you will surely grow and learn many new things, whether you're an angel or a demon. If I can explain this to other angels, maybe they'll see that not all demons are evil...)

Charlie: "Go for it Flonne! I believe in you!"

Vaggie: "You're really getting attached to her, aren't you?"

Charlie: "Don't worry, Vaggie. You're still my number one angel."

Lucifer: "Wait, what about me?"

Charlie: *blushes* "Uuhhh..."

Lucifer: "Ah, just messing with ya." rubs Charlie's hair.

Charlie: "Dad! We have a no bullying rule here!"

Chapter 8:

Charlie: "Why are the prinnies singing? They have good harmony, but it's a bit eerie... Wait, they're deserting the castle? Why?"

Red Prinny (through the screen): "Don't try to stop them. Just let them be."

Charlie: "?"

Red Prinny (through the screen): "They were finally able to atone for their sins. The only thing we can do now is pray for their happiness in their next lives..."

Charlie: "Next lives? The prinnies are reincarnating? They were about to atone for their sins? Could this be what I've been looking for? Vaggie! Dad!"

Vaggie: "What's up?"

Lucifer: "You summoned?"

Charlie: "Come sit with me! This chapter might have the key to freeing atoning souls down here!"

Vaggie: "You do know this is just a game, right?"

Charlie: "Yeah, that's why I said "might", but it could at least give us a clue on how to do it ourselves. I'm not going to lose focus for a single moment."

Lucifer: "How likely do you think she's going to crash at the end of the chapter from over exertion?"

Vaggie: "It's your daughter we're talking about, so extremely."

Lucifer: "I'll get the bed and snacks ready."

-later-

Flonne (through the screen): "You have never called me by my name! Not once since the first time we met!"

Lucifer: "Holy shit, really?"

Charlie: "Can confirm. He's pretty inconsiderate."

Vaggie: "Not too different from the other overlords here in Hell."

Charlie: "Yeah but..."

Flonne & Charlie: "He'll never become a respected ruler with an attitude like that."

-later-

Etna (through the screen): "Well the prince's case is a bit unique. You see his mother, the queen as always talking about love and kindness. I guess she couldn't help it being a human and all."

Flonne, Charlie, & Lucifer: "His mother was a human?"

Etna (through the screen): "Yup. She was a witch who came here to study but was captured by demons during her stay. When the king rescued her, the two fell in love and soon the prince was born. She was always saying stuff like "demons can love too". Whenever the prince did something bad, she would scold him because she wanted to raise him to be a kind boy."

Charlie: "Sounds just like mom during by teenager years."

Vaggie: "Hard to imagine you doing something bad."

Lucifer: "Trust me, her emo phase was NOT pretty. I was honestly worried she wouldn't grow out of it."

Charlie: "I still have pictures if you want to see."

Vaggie: "Later. I want to know how Laharl ended up this way."

Etna (through the screen): "The queen died. A long time ago, the prince was infected with a rare disease that even the king couldn't cure. There was only one way to save him."

Flonne (through the screen): "Which was..."

Etna & Lucifer: "...The life of one who loved him."

Charlie: "Dad?"

Lucifer: "The queen used a spell that took her life so her son could live."

Vaggie: "How do you know that, sir?"

Lucifer: "Let's just say it was one of my personal failures trying to help everyone escape this place."

Etna (through the screen): "It was at that point where the prince started hating love and kindness."

Charlie: "So Laharl's trying to cope with his mother's death by discarding love and kindness. That's terrible."

Vaggie: "Everyone grieves in their own way, Charlie."

-later-

Red Prinny: "The red moon purifies those sins so they can be reborn."

Charlie: "So that's why they were singing earlier. It's the Red Moon! The Red Moon is the key!"

Vaggie: "Once again, it's just a game. Besides, Hell doesn't have a Red Moon."

Lucifer: "I think there's a blood moon. Maybe that could-"

Laharl (through the screen): "Shut up! I never gave them permission for that! We'll drag them back if we have to!"

Charlie: "That is the most horrible and inconsiderate thing I've ever heard! What is wrong with you?!"

Vaggie: "Easy Charlie, try not to get too worked up."

??? (through the screen): "Wait... take prinny souls to red moon... no one interfere..."

Lucifer: "Is that death? He's gotten a little smaller than I last saw him."

-later-

Laharl (through the screen): "It's what's best for their sake? I see, then I'll let them go."

Charlie: *huge sigh* "I'm so glad he finally understands how important this is."

Vaggie: "I'm glad you managed to relax."

Charlie: "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, Vaggie."

Lucifer: "You were scaring ME for a second."

Flonne: "What sin... What sin did you commit?"

Red Prinny (through the screen): "I took my own life. Taking your own life is a grave sin... but I had to... to save my son's life."

Everyone: -!!-

Red Prinny (through the screen): "Because of my death, my son shut his feelings, but he's changing ever so slowly and it's thanks to the wonderful people around him. My work here is done. The rest is up to my son."

Flonne & Charlie: "You're just going to leave?! Not even a goodbye, despite how much you love him?!"

Red Prinny (through the screen): "What cruel words you speak... Of course I would like to reveal myself. Of course I would like to hug my son with my own hands, but if we're destined to part again, wouldn't it be better to watch from afar and leave without a single word? He has suffered enough already... My silence is how I show my love."

Charlie: "..."

Laharl's mother: "Prince, take care..."

-later-

Vaggie: "You okay Charlie?"

Charlie: Wipes away a tear. "Y-Yeah, I'm alright. That was quite the emotional roller-coaster."

Lucifer: "Cheer up. After all, now we might have the clues we need to help all the souls trapped down here."

Charlie: "You're right. And I've... I've gotten it all written down. All that's left is to go over everything and... come up with a plan."

Vaggie: "Maybe you should take another break first. You got pretty worked up again back there."

Charlie: "Yeah, you're right... but first... is okay that we finish the chapter... see the rest of the prinnies off?"

Lucifer: "...Of course, kiddo."

Prinnies & Charlie: "Red moon red moon... Cleanses the sinful and makes them anew... Prinnies, Charlie, & Vaggie: "Shining brightly in the night sky, waiting for the souls..." Prinnies, Charlie, Vaggie, & Lucifer: "Who will be born again tonight?" "Who will be born again... tonight?"

Alastor: "..." Walks away from the bedroom door."

[napoleonic-sexyman-tournament]

Pauline Bonaparte

a. “As handsome as it is possible to be (according to Metternich), Pauline is guaranteed a spot on any list of great beauties of the era. Of amiable character and extreme good nature, her only occupation is said - again by Metternich and not entirely truthfully - to be pleasure. She was also a great lover of luxuriating in baths, apparently. Canova immortalised her sexiness in marble as Venus Victrix, including taking impressions of her breasts. Her breasts were so perfect that to this day one can buy from Odiot a champange bowl modelled on them; and yes, Prinny also possessed a set (of champagne bowls, not breasts).”

Maria Walewska

"Being used as "bait" for an entire country speaks for itself, I guess.”

[lordansketil]

speaking of prinny, the number of biographies I've read that comment how "weird" and "surprising" it is that he "wasn’t hungry" and "didn’t eat much" at his coronation banquet and at the public banquets organised in his honour in scotland... while ALSO commenting how heavily corseted he was at those events... the answer is RIGHT THERE

[princessbrunette]

HAPPY 8K TO THE PEOPLES PRINCESS!!

Princess I’m so proud of how far you’ve come! You’ve made this blog into a place for us just to ramble on about silly little fictional men and talk our anything really from piss kinks to girl talk!! YOU MAKE ALL OF US AND OUR FLOOFIES happy!! Never loose this sweet sweet sweet personality it’s so rare to come cross someone who is purely such a beautiful soul🙈 when I buy the earfth I’m gonna make 25th of May national princess day in honour of your 8K!! sorry for clogging your inbox with this big ol’ thing but truly prinny I speak for all of us when I say we adore you you deserve it more than anyone x!!

LOVE YOU PRINNY PRIN PRINSTER

😭😭😭😭 this was so cute. tysm for taking the time to be kind. love ya 🌸

[jomiddlemarch]

The Duchess and the Diamond

The ballroom was grand, lit with a vast quantity of candles so that it shone bright as a summer’s noon, but the two women spoke as if they were concealed by a moonless midnight’s shadows.

“Has Lady Maria lost all sense of decorum?” Lady Fletcher positively hissed behind her gently fluttering ivory fan.

“I don’t know what you mean, Agnes,” Lady Shepherd replied. She had an inkling, of course, but it was always better to draw Agnes out as she made the most diverting remarks when she was either indignant or patronizing, and by her tone and the incline of her head, her en tremblant hair combs trembling quite noticeably, the current situation was a perfect confluence. “Lady Maria might be said to be somewhat eccentric, everyone would agree—there is not one lobster patty in sight and she hasn’t served ratafia for the past year and her taste in lace, well—”

“You know very well what I mean, Lydia. I mean that, that man—”

Here Lady Fletcher gestured almost boldly in the direction of the man in question, the object of much attention, curiosity and no little degree of scorn from the high sticklers. 

“You mean Lord Miller?” 

“Even his name speaks to his common origins,” Lady Fletcher said, sniffing in rapturous condescension. “Miller? How might anyone purport to be a member of the Ton with such a surname? What’s next, Lord Cook? Viscount Clerk?”

“Prinny is likely to say his royal favor is enough,” Lady Shepherd replied. “And then, the man is prodigiously wealthy, captured a half-dozen ships and has three battlefield promotions. Though I grant you, he does not quite look the part—”

They both glanced at where Lord Miller stood, a solemn and solitary figure flanked only by a potted palm. While there could be no complaint made as to the cut of his coat and pristine knot of his cravat, there was no denying a certain raw power, a rough-hewn quality to his features, his complexion bronzed, his stance one of a ship’s captain, his gaze accustomed to searching for the North Star and any enemy on the horizon. He was the furthest thing from a dandy one could imagine, whether he wore a properly powdered wig or not.

“No, he does not,” Lady Fletcher said. “To think someone of his stature was granted the wardship of Lady Elinor Ramsay—a Duke’s granddaughter!”

“Impoverished, though,” Lady Shepherd pointed out. “Lord Miller’s evidently declared he’ll dower her well from his own coffers, there’s not the least hint of any impropriety, save what she causes herself. She’s quite a hoyden, she’s been through three governesses in the past six weeks according to my lady’s maid. Miss Mischief, she’s called among his staff, though I cannot say they fully disapprove of her.”

“She hasn’t a chance of making a good marriage with only Lord Miller to sponsor her, no matter how well he dowers her and how many teas and balls he can convince Lady Maria to organize on her behalf,” Lady Fletcher said. 

“You cannot have heard then?” Lady Shepherd said, leaning in slightly. Lady Fletcher would not care for being the one who must admit ignorance, but the prospect of gossip about Lord Miller was too tempting to refuse. 

“Do go on, Lydia, it’s quite rude of you to tease.”

“Lord Miller is determined to marry this Season and marry well enough that his new bride might provide entrée for Lady Elinor. He had hopes of Lady Carmichael, as he served with her brother, but then she was compromised by that horrid viscount, Cord or Gordon or somesuch, the one who looks most terrifyingly like a mushroom, and Lord Miller had to step aside, as he could not rescue Lady Carmichael and ensure his ward’s acceptance in good society,” Lady Shepherd explained.

“Poor Tess,” Lady Fletcher remarked with what sounded like genuine sympathy. “The viscount is known to have a rather weak constitution—she may retreat to her Scottish holdings and hope a harsh winter carries off the scoundrel or whatever is passing for cuisine among the Highlanders. She would have been wasted on Lord Miller though—”

“They had some affinity, but it’s irrelevant, as she’s due to marry in a fortnight,” Lady Shepherd said.

“I suppose Lady Maria and the Duke of Wesley are determined to help Lord Miller secure a wife,” Lady Fletcher said. “The Duke considers him a brother, after all.”

“As much as they may, I’ve heard. Lord Miller is very proud and brusque. But the Duke’s valet found a man for Lord Miller, so that he might appear well-turned out in company. My maid says when he’s at home, he goes about in his shirtsleeves and a scuffed pair of Hessians,” Lady Shepherd said. 

“He hasn’t the hands for a quizzing-glass, that’s most evident,” Lady Fletcher tittered. 

“He holds the ribbons of his curricle light enough,” Lady Shepherd replied.

“Shall that attract him a charming and wellborn bride? I shouldn’t think so,” Lady Fletcher said. 

“It may attract her brother or father. He’s a fine stable of horses,” Lady Shepherd said.

“It almost sounds as if you’d entertain a suit for your Flora,” Lady Fletcher said, an eyebrow raised in skeptical inquiry.

“Her father might. I shouldn’t risk it. Flora’s a dear but she’s rather timid and it would be like pairing a canary with a falcon,” Lady Fletcher said. “Besides, if we did, think of the disappointment of the Ton—everyone is so looking forward to seeing Lord Miller run amok on the marriage mart. We may even learn if he’s capable of waltzing—”

“I assure you he’s entirely, eminently capable,” Lady Maria said, having approached the party from the rear, a military maneuver she’d learned from her great-aunt, a woman renowned for her stratagems, her cutting tongue, and her collection of bejeweled turbans which she’d taken to at age thirty and had worn despite any variance in fashion for the remainder of her life. To be so confronted by their hostess was an indication that they’d grown too engrossed with their conversation or too comfortable with their positions, forgetting that even the hint of a scandal could topple the most sterling reputation unless one was an original or a Duchess. As neither lady fulfilled either category, they both pursed their lips in the apologetic simper that was required to show their pretense at remorse.

“One might expect it of a sea-captain,” Lady Shepherd hazarded. “I believe they must be quite nimble on board. There is an excessive quantity of rope and one hardly ever sees a senior Naval man missing a lower limb. They do speak of sailors dancing jigs and whatever a hornpipe is, surely a commander must master the steps as well.”

“Lord Miller would be glad of your confidence,” Lady Maria replied in such a tone and with such a glance as to ensure both of her listeners understood she meant the opposite. “He is indeed everything accomplished, however stern he may appear, and any wise young lady would be fortunate to receive his offer.”

“But that assumes the young ladies this Season are wise, when I do believe I have never seen a sillier, giddier collection of misses presented to the Queen,” Lady Fletcher said, meaning to pounce upon Lady Maria’s remark and regain some superiority. Lady Maria was unperturbed, her gloves unwrinkled, her hem kissing the polished floor with the greatest elegance possible.

“If Lord Miller intended to consider only those young ladies making their debut, that might perhaps be a dilemma. As it stands, he has imposed no such restriction, only seeking a wife worthy of his hand and well-suited to the guidance of his ward,” Lady Maria said. “He is quite devoted to Lady Elinor, for all that she taxes his patience; one cannot resist her liveliness and she shows every sign of being deemed her year’s diamond.”

“Lady Elinor? A diamond of the first water?” Lady Fletcher exclaimed. “You would make such a prediction?”

“I would make such a wager,” Lady Maria said. It was widely known Lady Fletcher regularly overspent her pin money and would likely have gambled away her family estate; she would not be able to decline Lady Maria’s proposition and Lady Shepherd would not keep the exchange to herself. It would be the choicest gossip of the night’s ball, unless there was an impromptu betrothal between crusty, long-time bachelor Earl Nicholas and the sprightly Honorable Frances Bartlett, an event so unlikely they would not even record it in the betting book at White’s.

“What stakes?” Lady Fletcher asked.

“I know they say ladies must never offer anything of great value, confining ourselves to flower cuttings or ices at Gunter’s, but when I gamble, I prefer for it to be worth my while. As I far outrank you, I shall stake a favor, to be called in at the time of your choosing. On your part, I think it is only fitting you stake your diamond parure—”

“The Fletcher diamonds?” Lady Shepherd exclaimed. Lady Fletcher had turned a peculiar color that resembled old whey and emphasized the somewhat heavy hand that had rouged her cheeks.

“Diamonds for a diamond, what could be more poetic? More apt?” Lady Maria said.

“I don’t think—” Lady Fletcher began.

“Naturally, if you are not sanguine about the wager, you needn’t make it, though I’d expect you to offer your vocal support to Lady Elinor and Lord Miller,” Lady Maria said.

“I’m confident the chit won’t be anything like the Season’s diamond. Nor even an original,” Lady Fletcher said. “I’d go a step further and say I wager Lord Miller cannot become engaged to a member of the Ton before Lady Elinor’s presentation to the Queen.”

“What an intriguing elaboration,” Lady Maria said. Lady Shepherd thought that Lady Fletcher ought to blanch at their hostess’s tone, but arrogance had restored her complexion. The diamonds at her throat and earrings sparkled and Lady Shepherd wondered how they might look on Lord Miller’s ward.

“I take it you accept?” Lady Fletcher said.

“Gladly,” Lady Maria said. “What a very delightful Season this promises to be!”

This fic is for @tessa-quayle who deserves to be having a better day!

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Arthur calling Napoleon out for finessing his way into Prinny's heart

Napoleon: well you could flatter him too but that would mean smiling and complimenting someone

Arthur does not appreciate this situation. It’s bad for Britain! It’s a disgrace! They beat Napoleon, the ogre of Europe, they cant be seen to be…whatever it is Prinny and Napoleon are getting up to.

Napoleon: do you want to find out?

Arthur, in the voice of that one “get out of my school” tweet: get out of my country.

Napoleon: shan’t. Also can’t.

Napoleon points out that Arthur is just jealous, and really, it’s not an attractive look.

Josephine’s ghost: babe, you’ve no room to speak about that.

Arthur: I’m glad SOMEONE is on my side. Even if it’s the phantom of the empress of France.

Josephine: no I mean I think this is very funny. Just pointing out that my dear husband cannot talk about jealousy.

[theshatteredrose]

Nugatory: The Secret War (Chapter 34) - Disgaea 5 Fanfiction

AN: Slightly late update today. Fibromyalgia flare-ups is to blame. But I still managed to update on the weekend, so that’s something! Anyway, hope you enjoy reading~

Ao3 | Wattpad | Inkitt | FFNet

-

Chapter 34:

It was with Killia’s assistance that Samuel made his way through the portal and back to the Pocket Netherworld. Finding himself in the all too familiar environment was immediately comforting.

For a time, as he laid captive in that tent at the Lost Encampment, he thought he would never see the Pocket Netherworld again.

The main bridge was surprisingly crowded with Prinnies, with other Rebels, and with Panchos. They all stopped what they were doing to turn to look at them, and as Samuel look back at them in turn, he promptly realised that the faces of the Rebels were all those he had helped himself recently.

They all felt the need to repay him.

“Everyone, thank you for your help,” Samuel said, truly sincere in his gratitude.

“How are you feeling?” Panchos was the one to ask.

Samuel subconsciously pressed his hand against his side, hoping to hide the blood stains through the white bandages. “Other than the old injuries being agitated, I got away relatively unscathed.”

That reassured the crowd and there was a notable sigh of relief. An abrupt silence fell over everyone, however, when Seraphina appeared. She appeared stoic, her expression completely unreadable as she stood before them.

“I wish to talk to Samuel,” she said simply.

Samuel looked at Seraphina for a moment before he nodded his head. It was a conversation that could not be delayed. He turned his head to his right, toward Killia, and placed a hand on his arm. “It’s alright. It’ll only take a moment.”

Killia looked subtly reluctant, but nodded his head regardless. “Alright, but not too long. We need to have someone to look at your injuries.”

“I know, I know,” Samuel returned.

It took more energy than he would like to admit to pry himself from Killia’s arms to follow Seraphina down the steps from the main bridge and somewhere they could speak in private. Eventually, they found a quiet corner of the Pocket Netherworld and Seraphina paused in her steps. She kept her back toward him, silently taking a moment to consider her words.

Finally, Seraphina turned to face him and drew in a deep breath. “This is not an easy for me to say, but…I must apologise.”

That absolutely killed her to say, but he was not going to comment on that.

“I see,” Samuel murmured. “So, your maids, they did it for you. Why?”

“They did it because you were coming between Sir Killia and I.”

That was one of the reasons the maids have given him before, so he was not surprised by the response.

“So, they got rid of the competition.” One hell of a way to do it. “And that wasn’t your suggestion?”

Seraphina scowled at him. “Of course, it wasn’t.”

Samuel stared at her with narrow eyes.

Seraphina’s scowl dissipated into an expression of guilt. “I-I may have mentioned in in jest, but I was merely joking. If I had wanted to get rid of you, I would have done it far sooner. And if a different manner.”

He supposed that was true. And he was certain that she had plenty of ideas floating around in that head of hers.

“I figured as much,” Samuel said. He shook his head, however, unable to stop himself from scowling. “This was too much. Handing me over to Void was a sure-fire way to devastate Killia.”

“I could never do anything that would actually hurt Sir Killia,” Seraphina quickly exclaimed.

Samuel nodded. “I know.”

Still, that did not explain why they seemed so…chummy with the Lost Soldiers when they handed him over to them. They obviously had been communicating with them long before they got to him.

“…There is another reason,” Seraphina admitted.

“Oh?”

“They did it for the award money.”

Samuel must admit he was not expecting that. “The money? Surely, three-hundred-million HL would be pocket change for someone like you.”

Seraphina did not respond, simply closed her eyes, and drew in a deep breath, as if attempting to find peace within herself.

“Gorgeous is the richest Netherworld in the Netherverse, right?”

“Not anymore.”

Samuel blinked. “What? What happened?”

“My father spent all of our money on fortifying Gorgeous’ security and defences.” Seraphina suddenly looked jovial, almost delusional. “I’m completely broke.”

“What?”

Seraphina pouted as she planted her hands on her hips. “I won’t repeat myself. Unfortunately, it’s true. However, the one consolation is that I have integrated my Pocket Netherworld with Gorgeous, making a powerful weapon and craft that will take us directly to Void Dark’s fortress.”

“Is that so? So, that’s what Killia meant that the Pocket Netherworld has been incorporated into Gorgeous.” He hadn’t noticed a changed, honestly.

Void’s fortress…

That…was a good thing, he supposed. They were one step closer to ending this brutal war. He hoped they were ready. Samuel better hurry up and heal so that his Overload Skill would be at its most advantageous for everyone.

As much as Seraphina infuriated him, they truly would be lost without her resources. He supposed he should show some gratitude. But in a way that she would not take advantage of or won’t come back to bite him in the ass.

Hmm…

“…You know,” Samuel began, “if you need money, I hear that a certain owner of a certain magazine has collected quite the fortune, though has hidden it. If you manage to find that fortune, and take over that certain magazine, I’m sure you can recoup your loses rather quickly.”

Seraphina stared at him openly for a moment before she cracked a bit of a smile. “Why, Samuel, that’s positively demonic.”

“Only by half,” Samuel joked in response.

Seraphina laughed but quickly caught herself, flushing a like pink. “Th-this doesn’t make us comrades or anything.”

Samuel nodded. “Absolutely not. We’re still disdainful rivals.”

“As the way things should be.” Seraphina placed her hands on her hips as a scowl suddenly made it’s way upon her features. “Now, if you excuse me, I must deal with a certain little group of underlings.”

She then turned on her heel and stalked away, not bothering to wait for a response from Samuel. Not that he had anything else to say to her. He still had a lot of questions, true, but he was also tired and a tad sore. He kinda just wanted to get his bandages changed so he could take a nap or something.

He was sure that Seraphina was more than efficient at disciplining her own servants.

As he turned around to make his way back to the main bridge, the sight of Killia with Christo approaching made him pause. Instead waiting for the two to reach him.

“Is everything all right?” Killia immediately asked.

Samuel nodded. “Yeah, it’s been worked out. Seraphina is going to take care of her maids responsible. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Alright,” Killia said. “Red Magnus explained to us what had happened. It’s safe to say that Seraphina is not happy.”

No, she definitely was not.

“It’s good that it’s all sorted,” Christo said before he narrowed his eyes in Samuel’s direction. “Now, let me see those injuries of yours.”

With the hospital close by, Samuel dutifully nodded his head and followed Christo into a ward. He promptly slipped his vest from his shoulders and sat down on the edge of the bed. He aided Christo in peeling off the bandages, noting in mild alarm the red stains on the white dressings.

An exasperated sigh from Christo indicated to Samuel that he was not pleased.

“Ah, reopened?”

“Indeed,” Christo muttered. “This will take a moment.”

Samuel dutifully sat still as Christo used several healing spells and after a few minutes, wound a fresh set of bandages around his stomach and torso. The dressings were restricting, but he must admit that he felt better with them on.

“Alright, done,” Christo announced. “This time, I recommend the security of your room.”

That sounded good to Samuel, too.

… … … … …

Samuel found himself startled from a dreamless sleep, though he did not immediately know what or why pulled him into consciousness. He lifted his head up off of his pillow and peered drowsily through the darkness of his room. His gaze soon flickered toward a figure standing by his bed and he unconsciously winced.

“Easy, it’s just me,” a familiar voice soothed.

“Killia?” Samuel murmured, still drowsy, but conscious enough to sense that something was troubling the other man. “Are you all right?”

“I’m all right,” Killia immediately answered. “I was just checking in on you.”

Samuel’s vision gradually began to clear and he sat up in bed. Instead of attempting to reassure Killia, he looked up at him with a sense of guilt. “I’m sorry. I scared you again today, didn’t I?”

Killia became silent as he looked into his eyes, his own honey golden eyes conveying several conflicting emotions. Several of which Samuel could not quite put his finger on. Yet, it became crystal clear when Killia’s shoulders sagged forward and he held out his hand in front of him.

“…You could have been lost. Again. All because…”

Samuel silently slipped out of bed and to his feet. In one fluent motion, he stepped toward Killia and raised his arms, wrapping them around his neck. “…I know,” he murmured as he pressed his body against his, hoping that their physical closeness would offer the other some comfort.

Killia responded just as quickly; one arm around his waist as his entangled his fingers of his other through Samuel’s hair.

“I know,” Samuel said again, nuzzling his cheek against Killia’s shoulder. “That wasn’t your fault.”

It was his. Probably. He could have handled that differently if he had known it was just petty jealousy that fuelled those maids, and not maliciousness against the Rebel Army. At the time he did not know that. How could he? He could not take the chance that they were traitors. They certainly were more than happy to work with the Lost and to hand him over to them.

But…jealousy. Petty jealousy.

That was what fuelled Killia’s and Void’s so-called rivalry, wasn’t it? Void being jealous of Killia? With Killia being chosen by Goldion to inherit the Ultimate Demon Fist Technique and with Lieze choosing to spend time with him over her own twin brother.

Jealousy. Killia had already lost so much to the jealousy of another.

Samuel promised himself that he would never let his own jealousy ever hurt Killia.

If Killia loved another…he would be content with loving him from afar.

He had to be.

… … … … …

Samuel sat in a highbacked chair on the main bridge, negated there due to his injuries. Healing was what he needed to do, above all else.

They were planning on storming Void’s fortress soon. But Samuel was worried. Naraka was still out there, somewhere. His arm may have been severely broken, but his tongue was as sharp and vile as his blade.

He needed to be dealt with, too.

That was why he took to the main bridge without complaint, and promptly sat himself down in front of the reports monitor, hoping to figure out a possible location of where Naraka could be hiding.

“I’m not talking to you, plip.”

A rather cross sounding Usalia pulled Samuel from his work. He lifted his head up and pivoted his chair to look down from the bridge to the communal area before the water fountain. Where Usalia and Seraphina stood, and appeared to be…arguing?

“C-come now, I was simply joking,” Seraphina insisted.

“I don’t believe you, plip.”

That angry stubbornness. That was very uncharacteristic of Usalia.

“What’s going on?” Samuel asked, his attention directly toward Christo who stood before the maps and atlases. “I thought we’ve established that Seraphina wasn’t to blame for what happened.”

Christo looked over at him, completely unbothered. “Oh, something occurred on Gorgeous, you could say. And Usalia isn’t very happy with Seraphina.”

Samuel blinked before he narrowed his eyes slightly, suspicion creeping in. “…Does it have something to do with Killia?”

“You could say that.”

“Breaking up Killia and Samuel, will be like breaking up my parents!” Usalia exclaimed loudly and suddenly. “And I won’t allow that, plip!”

A silence seemed to fall over the entirety of the Pocket Netherworld.

…Pardon? Did she just-?

“D-don’t be difficult, child,” Seraphina scolded in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. “Wouldn’t Sir Killia and I make better parents for you?”

Usalia folded her arms angerly across her chest, stuck her nose in the air, and turned her back on Seraphina. “Nope. I’ve made up my mind, plip.”

He…remembered Usalia saying something like that before. How she found comfort being with both Samuel and Killia. Watching the two of them reminded her of her parents.

Samuel pushed up from his chair and walked down the stairs. “Usalia, can you give me a hand with something? I want to make curry for everyone who helped me the other day as a thank you for all their help.”

Usalia immediately whirled around and nodded her head. “Of course, plip.”

Samuel smiled at Usalia and the two of them turned in the direction of the much beloved curry kitchen. As they walked, however, Samuel could not help but look over his shoulder, toward Seraphina. And he stuck his tongue out at her, leaving her bristling wildly behind them.

Petty? Maybe. Just a bit of revenge.

The kitchen was empty, leaving just the two of them to cook whatever they pleased. And it gave Samuel the privacy needed to speak with Usalia. To get some information on what happened on Gorgeous as Killia seemed reluctant to talk about it.

In fact, all he would say to him was “we’ll talk about after you’ve healed”.

And after what he had overheard just moments ago, he was incredibly suspicious.

“Usalia, I noticed that you haven’t been very happy with Seraphina lately,” Samuel began. “Is something wrong? Did something happen on Gorgeous?”

Usalia stood upon a stool as she began to chop up some carrots. “Seraphina tried to pretend that she and Killia were engaged, plip.”

“…What?”

“Uh huh.” She carried on, undaunted. “Then, then her father was about to betray us to Void, but Seraphina was about to disobey him, but only if Killia married her. Of course, she was joking, but was she really, plip?”

“M-marry…?” Samuel spluttered, a strange heated feeling of anger mixed with jealousy and protectiveness rushing through him. He glanced up from Usalia and over the kitchenette, immediately catching sight of a certain demon.

He slammed his hands atop of the counter, barely even disturbing Usalia, and leaned across the kitchenette. “Killia! Get over here!”

Killia snapped his head up, beyond startled, and immediately looked over in his direction. Eyes wide in confused. “Wh-what?” he spluttered.

“There was one specific thing I told you not to do when you went to Gorgeous,” Samuel practically seethed.

Killia blinked. He sighed, deadpanned as he wandered toward the kitchenette. “Y-yes, and I didn’t.”

Samuel stared at him with slightly narrowed eyes. He then huffed and grabbed a knife, angrily chopping at some vegetables. “The sheer audacity of that woman. When were you going to tell me?”

Killia rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I was going to mention it when we got back, but then this thing of the maids happened, and I knew you two weren’t on the best terms…”

“Honestly,” Samuel pouted. “I’d preferred if you were handed over to Void. At least I know I could get you back from Void.”

“Samuel, Seraphina’s not that bad…”

“Am I wrong?”

“Well, I didn’t say that…”

Usalia suddenly grabbed her ears and dragged them over her eyes and face and broke out into an intense giggle fit. “You’re just like them, plip…”

[drpg-global-archive]

DRPG - MAIN STORY - ACT 1 - EP 1

3/5 Hell's Kitchen

Laharl's transformation leads to an unpredictable turn of events...

Laharl's Feminine Side

Laharl: Ahhhhhh...!!!!! I've been changed into a woman?! But I'm the great and fearsome Laharl! Is this some kind of joke!? How can I show off my true power when I look like this!?

Flonne: Well...I dare say there are many people who would say this new look is a real improvement for you.

Etna: I don't know what you've got to complain about, with such a perfect feminine body... Looks like there's going to be some tough competition in the beauty stakes around here from now on!

Flonne: What?! Prince Laharl, do you really think you're a match for us two?

Laharl: You idiots!! Stop fooling around! Find a way to get me back to normal!!

Etna: Geez...alright Betty Boop. Let's get outta here, [Player].

Stage 1 - Aimless Battle 1 Stage 2 - Aimless Battle 2

I Want Desserts

Flonne: Miss Etna. Do you know how we can get Laharl back to normal?

Etna: I have no idea.

Flonne: ...Well, that isn't very helpful.

Etna: Hey, it's time for dessert!! Sometimes, a good sugar boost is all one needs to come up with a solution to any problem!

Flonne: Are you sure it's not just that you're having sugar cravings, Miss Etna?

Stage 3 - Desserts in My Head 1 Stage 4 - Desserts in My Head 2 Stage 5 - Desserts in My Head 3

Legendary Chef

Mysterious Cook: What's with this pudding!? WHAT! It doesn't have that delicious springiness that pudding is supposed to have! I want to speak with the boss of this restaurant!

Etna: It's you! The legendary Mr. Champloo...!!

Mr. Champloo: That's me! I am also a Kitchen Fist Master, trained in the Fire Chaos Style! Champloo - at your service! Boom!

Flonne: Hey, Miss Etna... Do you know this guy?

Etna: He's a legendary Netherworld chef. He's a true culinary genius, he can transform literally any ingredients into a wonderful meal.

Flonne: What in the world is going on...

Etna: My name is Etna! I wish to challenge you to a cooking battle, to see who can make the best dessert!!

Mr. Champloo: A challenge, you say!? Boom - I accept! ... What ingredients can we use?

Flonne: Oh. As luck would have it, there are some Prinnies over there...

Stage 6 - Cooking Battle

The BEST Dessert

Etna: Hmm? How strange. I used a ton of Prinnies in this recipe, so how come the dessert still isn't ready?

Flonne: But surely it's not possible to make a dessert this way!

Mr. Champloo: Blasphemy! Anything can be cooked if you set your mind to it! Boom! Cooking comes from the heart! Cooking is a life and death business, kid! Don't underestimate it! Behold my latest recipe! I call it... "Puffy Prinny Pudding"! Boom!

Etna: Wow! I'm going to have to taste this right away!!.... Let's eat! Ahh...that scent is incredible. The texture is as smooth as silk. And its sweetness is unparalleled..... This...This is amazing! It's an unprecedented creation! It's spectacular! It's the greatest dessert ever made!

Flonne: ...It looks like Miss Etna's completely forgotten about the Laharl situation.

To be continued...

[heroesxdemons]

Here runs Hero Prinny, handing out buckets of candy to his team of Prinnies. Those buckets of candy that were...legally procured without having to go through any financial binds. Yup. He just proved his strength to some others, so to speak, and they let him have it! No other reason.

Hopefully Laharl or the other one don't notice.

"Here's your early Halloween gift, fellas!"

Happy times for Prinnies! Till they all get sick from eating candy. At least it's better than sardines!

[drinkrust]

Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure makes me smile, and that’s all it needs to do

Amid the games offered in the Nis America’s rerelease series “Prinny Presents NIS Classics”, Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure doesn’t fit as well as the others featured. While a good amount of them offer complex combat and a huge amount of potential playtime, Rhapsody is rather short and… probably one of the easiest SRPGs ever made.

The only way you could guess why it got chosen to be a part of these rereleases is the fact that it is one of the first two tactical RPGs developed by Nippon Ichi Software before they hit it big with Disgaea, which changed the company’s destiny forever. This makes a lot of sense knowing that the game that accompanies it in its PC and Switch rerelease is La Pucelle, which is the only other SRPG title they made before the first Disgaea. Just by taking a glance, you can already see a big difference in how they chose to approach both games’ remaster. While La Pucelle received many quality of life changes, Rhapsody went relatively unchanged (besides now offering a beautiful CRT mode).

The reason for this is that the original 1998 Atlus localization for Rhapsody was already uncommonly complete for the time. It had options for both Japanese and English voice acting, extra unlockable illustrations, and the game was already easy enough that it didn’t warrant any balance changes for the west. Unfortunately, it did not sell well enough for its two sequels to also be localized, which is a shame because both seem incredible.

Note: Even though there are no currently available in-game translations for Rhapsody’s sequels, you can find fully translated scripts for Little Princess: Marl Ōkoku no Ningyō Hime 2 and Tenshi no Present: Marl Ōkoku Monogatari here and here, respectively.

Even the game’s songs were completely rerecorded with English voices (though they are the only parts with any amount of voiceover at all). There lies the most intriguing part of Rhapsody. It’s a whole damn musical. Like, there are six unique songs coupled with some special versions of the main theme. Every song is sung in a perfectly (and sometimes beautifully) acceptable manner by the American cast. I was expecting the next song to arrive at every step I took while playing. Fortunately, the best songs here are sung by Cornet, and there are a lot of them because, well, she’s the protagonist and all.

It’s really impressive how unique Rhapsody ends up being because of its stylistic choices because deep down, it’s a pretty by-the-numbers JRPG. Enough so that it feels weird that they bothered making this a tactics game at all considering how little it matters for the game aside from making battles last longer since you have to position your party members on range to hit an enemy before attacking. On a normal RPG, it would take one turn to hit your opponent. Here, most party members take two to get their first hit in.

The easygoing difficulty on offer by Rhapsody is enough to get hardcore fans of the genre to completely ignore its existence, which makes sense if you’re only on the lookout for a challenge and nothing more. But I’d argue that Rhapsody is much more interesting when seen through other lenses.

For starters, it works perfectly as a potential first game for people who have never touched a game in their lives. Even some simple 3D titles considered to be good entry points by game fans end up being a headache for beginners, but Rhapsody here speaks for itself. If you ignore some repetitive dungeon layouts and one or two innocuous dialogues you need to trigger to advance the story, none of the mechanics here would seem confusing for a complete newbie.

This is understandable because the actual target demographic for this game is kids, even though it can handle serious topics in some story beats. Rhapsody is structured in a similar manner to a Disney Princess movie (only with the roles reversed), which is a big compliment coming from someone like me, who absolutely adores Cinderella and the likes of it. Cornet is a daydreaming girl that can talk to and understand any puppet/doll. Now that I mentioned it, she can even transform them into party members by playing her favorite melody on her cornet. They’re not only important to the narrative, but also to the combat, where they work kinda like they do in Dragon Quest V.

However, the only puppet that can’t fight is Kururu, Cornet’s favorite that has been with her since her mom was murdered during a mysterious war that was going on at the time. Kururu is present throughout the whole game and acts as a mentor figure that forces Cornet to make difficult decisions (and sometimes makes some for her, which often backfires). The first song that features any vocals (excluding the intro one) only gets to play because of Kururu, when she asks Cornet to play “her favorite song”. Now the same song she loves playing on her cornet gets to be interpreted vocally for the first time in the game. It’s called Let’s Go On and it regularly gets different verses when it gets reprised in later sections of the plot, from which it adapts its tone to fit.

The cutesy animations that Cornet and the other characters make when they sing their tracks are immensely adorable and help them be more memorable than they would otherwise. They’re essential little touches that serve to not make the songs seem like they completely halt the game’s narrative. Oh, besides, they also advance both the story and the characters’ individual arcs!

This makes me a little bummed out since there are one or two songs that are not only way too short, but also don’t help out that much in developing the story, particularly the ones placed in the middle of the adventure. Nevertheless, I’d say that the way they incorporated the musical elements into the rest of the game was made with care, and forms an irreplaceable piece of the emotional impact Rhapsody’s story seeks to usher in.

Cornet loves singing as much as she dreams about being rescued by the beautiful Prince Ferdinand, who she’s completely obsessed with. Her dream kinda comes true when he randomly shows up to rescue her from a dragon conjured by Myao, an easily irritable witch that controls the population of anthropomorphic cats that live in the Wonder Woods. Unfortunately, Cornet is just as human as any of us and completely freezes when confronted by her crush. While Ferdinand tries to talk to the anxiety-ridden static girl, she can’t as much as move a single pixel.

In the end, she ends up not even being able to share her first name with the prince, which worries her because how lucky would she have to be to find Ferdinand again? He lives in a castle inside the big city of Mothergreen while Cornet lives in the rural Orange Village. He’s royalty, and she’s a plebeian. So of course she goes out to find him anyway.

Let’s skip a tiny bit of the important character stuff established early into the first hours of the adventure because I really want you to actually play Rhapsody instead of only reading my article about it. Amid an annual (and official!) contest in which girls take part to gather the prince’s attention, Cornet manages to reconnect, even if negatively, with her spoiled and fashionable childhood friend Etoile and ends up tying with her at the top spot of the contest.

The only problem is that Myao remembered how embarrassed Ferdinand made her feel the day he defeated her, so she ran a dragon through the castle walls and, accompanied by her friends Gao and Crowdia, let her mentor Marjorly steal the prince for herself. Being as clumsy as she is, Marjorly ends up transforming the poor dude into a statue by accident instead of using the love spell she intended to.

That’s when the game starts to open up. Cornet gains a new stylish outfit, the famous elemental stones are introduced for you to hunt down, etc. You know, the classic structure of a run-of-the-mill JRPG of that time. I’m not going to lie here, some narrative concepts Rhapsody tries to explore are not that interesting, but… I’d be a complete liar if I omitted how much the characters and their individual arcs are used to transform what could be a boring story into an actually engaging one.

First off, the dynamic between Cornet and Etoile represents a good example of this exact thing. They’re always fighting and the person who most often starts throwing insults around is Etoile. But you can see in the way in which they interact (and confirm with later story events) that in reality, they are just inseparable friends. Etoile is also searching for Ferdinand, but instead of taking Cornet’s puppet-based heroic approach, she hires bodyguards to protect her with guns. A bunch of them. She even gets some herself. Yeah, this seemingly medieval RPG introduces firearms out of the blue. How cool is that?

Even as rivals, they can’t help but give each other a hand to move on. This is made clear right at the beginning when Etoile and Cornet start to fight to see who says sorry first to the close person which they emotionally hurt during the contest’s events, and it gets even deeper as their relationship develops while you’re on the search for the elemental stones.

Each of the stones is located in a remote place that has its own history attached to the artifact. This part of the game focuses on telling five different tales independent from the main story arc with a surprisingly high variety in tone and unfortunately, quality as well. Of course, it’d be weird to expect complete consistency between the five stories, but some of them don’t even look like they came from this game because of how tonally off they are.

The search for the Waterstone on the pirate boat is a good example of this. You meet pirates that have been victims of a shipwreck that killed a big chunk of the crew in the past. The victims’ dad and best friend are still on the high ranks of the crew, and they both blame themselves for the dude’s death. This part doesn’t offer a traditional dungeon but instead the boat you can explore, which is pretty tiny. Together, the three pirates involved in this plot have about 30 lines of dialogue, and that’s it.

This doesn’t go for all of the elemental stone quests though. Some of them end up in tragedy, and almost all of them require Cornet to make a morally questionable sacrifice in order to get a stone. I’m not going to go into much detail so I don’t spoil anything, but what I’ll say is that the game presents very abrupt and heavy scenarios on occasion, which is pretty cool. These end up making up the most interesting pieces of the middle section of Rhapsody, which needs to have a bigger emotional heft to function properly because of its problematic dungeons.

Funnily enough, I haven’t been that satisfied with the dungeons in most recent RPGs I’ve played, even though I have a bigger tolerance for grind and repetition than most people. Games like Crystar and Cruel King and the Great Hero were way too repetitive for my thumbs to even enjoy playing them, and unfortunately, I can say some of the same things for Rhapsody’s dungeons. The common link between these games’ dungeon crawling is that they only exist in order to space out combat encounters instead of requiring thorough exploration.

In Rhapsody, there are two types of dungeons: caves and towers. If you’ve seen either one of them, you’ve seen them all, because the only difference you can spot is an occasional color palette swap. They’re just collections of square rooms with paths — Zelda style — but with a whole bunch of nothing inside. They only lead to new floors, maybe some items and extra collectibles, and eventually a boss. Navigating the dungeons isn’t a difficult task since the combat never drains your resources, but I still lost a couple (maybe more) hours just trying to get my bearings because of how repetitive they feel. Don’t feel bad for looking up a dungeon map online if you’re getting bored.

The dungeons do take a considerable amount of the overall playtime, but that sure wasn’t enough to ruin my experience, not even close. What matters here is that outside of them and during the dialogue and beautifully drawn areas, things work out much more smoothly. Cornet manages to create a genuinely deep connection with the rest of the main cast because she’s constantly humanized. Her decisions are what make her strong and Kururu, Etoile and her grandpa are all there to reinforce exactly this.

It would be cool if the puppets spoke a little more during the story, but at least they gain an interesting bit of focus on the village side quests (and the worldbuilding). They’re kinda hard to find for yourself, so I recommend a guide if you wanna play ’em all. Besides that, they let you in on more solid context to what is one of the biggest emotional pillars present in Rhapsody’s world, which I’ll touch on now without getting into spoilers.

Rhapsody has a few plot twists just like any ambitious RPG. One of them made me tear up. This is the first time this happened to me in a game where the pace is controlled by the player. In a cinematic title like, say, Life is Strange, it’s easy to get emotional in a scene cautiously acted and paced to gather this response. I know this because it happened to me a few times (lol). Now, in a JRPG with no voices (at least when no one’s singing) with the dialogue speed controlled completely by the player, this caught me completely off guard.

What happens here is a beautiful role subversion that ends up recontextualizing the whole game and that made me realize how important it was for Cornet’s arc as a whole after reevaluating the couple hundred screenshots I took while playing. Since I don’t wanna spoil anything, I’ll leave it at that.

The last thing I wanna say (exactly after saying I’ll leave it at that, no less) is that this twist ties the songs and the ambiance together both thematically and practically, so much so that it ends up stealing a bit of the climax’s shine. It was the perfect last screw to drill in my head how special Rhapsody really is.

Besides its narrative, the game also shows its personality in many other areas, and constantly. For starters, it pays out really well to poke around random objects trying to find any extra dialogue or a hidden potion or to, even more so than in other JRPGS.

Potions and extra items don’t matter in the grand scheme of things considering how easy the game is, but sometimes you get some cute illustrations or even a little jingle that sings “Nippon Ichi Software”. Yes, I checked: it said “Atlus USA” in the original version. The change may have happened in the DS version (though I’m not sure) and then reused in this current port.

It’s great to have these occasional jokes and extra dialogue that you get while just interacting with samey-looking things in different-looking places. Usually, Cornet will comment on how strange it is to see a repeated asset or even infer some difference she can see even though the graphics don't let us see it as well. Some people have a bunch of problems with how Atlus localized their titles at the time and I do agree with some of those arguments, but I can’t see how this would have negatively impacted Rhapsody in specific. Honestly, the dialogue here sounds more current than many other drab modern localizations made by other companies.

Besides that, the visuals themselves are also refreshing. The character portraits show a lot of personality, and there are so many of them that I swear some of them are just used once or twice throughout the whole game. Lastly, we have the surprisingly good fashion sense present, which is mainly represented by Cornet, who completely changes her fit as soon as she leaves to search for her prince. Remember, those are whole animations that had to be reworked for this to be implemented, and that’s something only a game made with love can achieve.

Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure was an unforgettable experience, even though the idea didn’t reach its full potential in this title. I really hope NISA is interested in localizing the sequences, but I know that’s not an easy task. Just for some perspective, one of the fan-translated scripts I linked earlier, the one for Tenshi no Present: Marl Oukoku Monogatari, has 42.000 words in total, and at least up until the sections I read there weren’t optional NPC dialogues in there… Translating and implementing the translation into the game isn’t an easy task, but I still think it’ll be worth it if this Rhapsody rerelease does well.

In order to make a special JRPG, a perfect combat system or impeccable dungeons are rarely needed. It’s honestly easier to achieve this using the genre’s biggest strengths, which are its scale and ability to use unique storytelling methods to enhance a narrative. Rhapsody takes advantage of both while adding its own secret sauce, which is the musicals accompanied by big doses of care. In fact, I think tender is a good word for summing up the experience.

May the world turn into a more tender place, and may Rhapsody provide the tenderness you need then.

bye!

[prinnydraws]

Been a bit of a crazy start to the year, moved, got a new job, finding a new groove with art. 

About to start slowing down at work so I’d like to focus on art again (fingers crossed motivation sticks lmao) and I’m going to be “renovating” this blog. Updating and kinda rebranding? thinking aboout going to an older shorter URL

I’ve been doing a lot of doodling traditionally so maybe I’ll post that just to have art on here again, i just always feel weird posing unfinished or messy stuff. My brain is just always like “it must be completely perfect to post” 

[manygalaxiesinone]

Prinny Instructor Charlie & Vaggie: Pt 4

Valvatorez: "Are you certain about this? We should be able to manage today's tasks on our own. You're starting to pick up old habits lately."

Artina: "Please, I'll be fine. Besides, it's not like you keep an open schedule yourself, Mr. Vampire."

Valvatorez: "Um... valid case of pot and kettle, Artina."

behind the door.

Charlie: "Just what is an angel doing here?"

Vaggie: "I don't know. I've never seen her before when I was in Heaven."

Charlie: "To be fair, you've been out of heaven for a good few years, so she might be a new soul you never met before."

Vaggie: "Well if she's part of the hunting squad, they must really be looking for new members after the attack on the hotel."

Charlie: "Weird for a hunteress to be all on her own though."

Vaggie: "She could be a spy or assassin."

Charlie: "Judging from what I'm hearing, it seems like she and Val sensei know each other."

Vaggie: "We both know that doesn't disprove my argument."

Charlie: "True. She might be spying on his class as we speak."

Fenrich: "You mean like how you two are right now?"

Charlie: "Yeah, just like-" -!!- turns around. "F-Fenrich!"

Vaggie: "Ah crap..."

Fenrich: "You've only finished your first day and yet you're already peeping into my lord's private affairs. I had a feeling you'd be trouble, but I didn't anticipate it would be so soon."

Charlie: "W-Wait! It's not what you think! We were on our way to explore Hades, but Vaggie saw that angel woman walk right past us and we got curious."

Fenrich: "And why exactly are you curious about a mere angel?"

Vaggie: "In case you didn't know, heaven and hell aren't on the best of terms. We recently fended off an invasion from them after having to deal with them slaughtering Hell's residents for years. She might be a spy, sending info on Hade's weak points to heaven."

Fenrich: "I see... Well, rest assured, she is from a heavenly plane, but not exactly heaven itself. At least, not the heaven you two are familiar with."

Charlie: "Oh, okay. Whew. That's a relief. No wonder you didn't recognize her, Vaggie."

Fenrich: "However she does pose a threat to this world."

Vaggie: "There it is."

Fenrich: "That angel you see is from a place known as Celestia. She's a thief, sent here on a mission to bleed Hades dry of its money under the guise of a nurse working in our very own infirmary."

Charlie: "That's crazy. Does President Emizel know about this?"

Fenrich: "The whe- I mean, the President is familiar with her. In fact, there was a bounty placed on her head, however it was removed after she created a cure for the A-Virus pandemic that took place some time ago. For some reason, he fail to realize that this is the same woman who nearly caused the destruction of Hades and the Human World."

Charlie: "Well, maybe she's trying to atone for her mistake."

Vaggie: "Charlie, how is she trying to atone for anything by stealing money?"

Fenrich: "Exactly. The logic is flawed, is it not? Quite frankly, Hades would be far better off without that thief angel around, wouldn't you agree?" Walks away.

Charlie: "..."

Vaggie: "..."

[kokichis-dead-dove-club]

ugh cant believe i have a migraine this fucking early

[cfborealis]

ice tags.