#Probably related to the autism honestly I’d be very surprised if it wasn’t.

[floralstorms]

ah, of course I suddenly am talking maybe perhaps about 3 times my usual speed and and quite a bit more than usual (usual being not much to at all) and have suddenly donned some sort of accent I can’t quite place entirely but it’s the one I use when talking to myself for some reason! I just watched a show I’m mildly(?) hyperfixated about and exciting things happened in it & the characters have an accent which may have affected me (somewhat or not somewhat ADFKGX)

plus my rambling predictions for what might happen proved to be kind of correct thus far as much information as I have gathered and that’s very fun :D

(Idk, this happens, Idk)

[forestwater87]

Every episode of Camp Camp ranked: A very (non)objective list

It's well past the time of year when Season 5 of Camp Camp would've dropped. I fully understand and support it not coming out; the crew's health and safety are much more important than a comfort show.

However . . . man, would it be nice to have some comfort right now.

So I'm reliving the entire series! I've been known to share with the world a whole bunch of Spicy Hot Takes, but I've never really sat down and talked about my feelings about the show as a whole. 

And what's the best way to do that? Well, just ask Jenny Nicholson: a numbered list! That is, here's the series ranked from worst episode to best, because I want to get the negativity out of the way early and focus on everything I love (and because people enjoy complaining, so let’s frontload all that). 

The takes will be hot. The feelings will be intense. The post, I'm assuming, will be largely unread.

Let's do it!

Oh and duh, there are spoilers. I tried to keep it pretty chill, but you’ll want to have watched the whole show or just not care about spoilers before going forward.

Also slashes in the middle of “naughty words” are meant to prevent this from being kept out of the main tags. Who knows if it’ll work? I don’t.

60. Who Peed the Lake? (Season 4, epis/sode 3)

Ah, good ol' Pi/ss Lake (or as @hopefullypessimistic84​ calls it because she's funnier than any of us will ever be, “Pis/s Fe/tish Dot Com”). Terrible, one of the few I’d consider nigh unwatchable. I actually kind of love this episode for being such great shorthand for "the absolute worst one."

Who signed off on an entire episode centered around Sherlock Holmes meets a bad om/o joke? Give me names and addresses: I just want to talk.

59. Reigny Day (Season 1, episode 6)

And nobody was surprised.

I'll admit I'm more willing to defend this episode than many people, but it's not . . . like, good. It seemed okay when there were only 11 other episodes to compare it to, but now that there have been so many bangers, this comes across as extremely weak. 

And let’s just say the Na/zi jokes hit a lot differently in 2020 than they did in the summer of 2016.

I’m overall happy with the direction the showrunners have moved Dolph’s character in, and I can’t totally blame them for using a kind of humor that was fairly common in the pre-Trump era, but yikes, this has aged like milk. And it wasn’t even very funny at the time, so it aged like milk that was already pretty bad to begin with.

58. Squirrel Camp (Season 4, episode 10)

This is a dumb one.

Not much else to say; it’s just kinda stupid and lame.

57. Fashion Victims (Season 4, episode 13)

I love Sasha, but this is filler. Which isn’t in itself a bad thing -- I have a couple episodes near the top that could reasonably be called filler, and a valid argument could easily be made that “filler episodes” don’t actually exist in a show with no plot -- but as much as I adore the Flower Scouts and enjoy the handful of good moments we get in this episode . . . who cares? Does anyone really give a sh/it about anything that happens here? Does anyone get their life from this one?

I didn’t think so.

56. Foreign Exchange Campers (Season 3, episode 3)

I know, I know, your Russian waifu came from this episode. Why do you think it’s so low on this list?

Okay, for real: this is . . . fine. It’s fine. It’s fine? I’m not mad at it, it just feels tonally incongruous and not very memorable beyond the fact that the fandom got really weird and kinda gross about Vera. But the episode itself? There’s some cute stuff with Neil and Nikki being jealous, but for the most part it’s a big hunk of white bread with some super mild white cheese that’s kinda soggy from sitting in a bag for too long and getting all condensation-y. 

That is to say: it’s fine.

ETA: Space Kid does say “fu/ck.” I can’t decide if that’s a point in the episode’s favor or against it.

This is the last of what I’d call the “bad” episodes. Everything after this ranges from mediocre to mind-blowingly amazing. But whatever our failing tier of Camp Camp episodes is, it stops right about here. 

Onto the good stuff!

55. Night of the Living Ill (Season 2 Halloween episode)

I keep switching this with “Eggs Benefits,” which probably means they should be tied. But whatever, this is my list and I am in charge and I’ve finally decided, after like 5 changes, that I like this one a little bit less.

It’s a fun Romero parody with nothing I’d call bad. Really this one’s only so low on the list because I think it’s kinda icky, and looking at those green snotty faces makes me queasy. If you think this is a bad reason to put it near the bottom of the list, then make your own post.

54. Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum (Season 4, episode 11)

I . . . don’t remember this at all. I initially had it a bit higher because I tend to love things with Campbell in them, but then I realized that nothing about this episode stuck in my brain even a little bit. 

Oh, this is the “Dolph has autism” episode that made everyone either extremely happy or really mad? Okay. I guess that’s the most remarkable thing about it. Neato.

Cam, I love you, but this was just not the best use of your sleazy charm.

53. Eggs Benefits (Season 2, episode 9)

This is one of those episodes with enough cute moments and good ideas to save it from being totally unmemorable, and I mostly enjoy rewatching. Platypus being a mom is a fabulous idea, and pairing the campers the way they did was mostly really interesting and fun.

The Preston-Nurf stuff takes it down several pretty significant notches, though. It’s what the kids would call problematic, and while I normally enjoy how the show doesn’t skew away from darker themes and jokes, it didn’t really fit either of their characters and just . . . isn’t fun to watch. It’s not especially funny, it’s not especially tragic, it’s just uncomfortable.

52. Camp Campbell Wants YOU! (Season 1, episode 0)

Honestly, this would be a lot higher if it was a full-length episode. It’s funny.

The next 5 or so episodes fall under the “cute but not very memorable” umbrella:

51. Nikki's Last Day on Earth (Season 3, episode 4)

I love the ensemble episodes, so this was always going to score higher than any of the single-character “meh” eps. I didn’t see the twist coming, though I know a lot of other fans did. Textbook example of “cute but not very memorable” -- the Platonic ideal of that concept.

50. The Candy Kingpin (Season 3, episode 9)

A clever idea that plays on Max’s worst characteristics and then calls him out for them, while also giving Dolph some much-needed character development. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like it really picks up until the last third of the episode, leaving the rest just kind of sitting there.

49. Campfire Tales (Season 4, episode 13)

Who doesn’t love campfire stories?

That’s all I got. They’re campfire stories.

ETA: OH SH/IT THIS ONE HAS THAT REALLY SCARY STORY! Where David’s all like . . . Slenderman’d. Fu/ck, I didn’t remember that until I was writing out my thoughts for #35 or so. That definitely elevates it, but I’m too tired to try and re-decide where this should go, so just tie it with “New Adventure!”

48. New Adventure! (Season 4, episode 4)

New trio! Focusing on these 3 was a definite risk, and I think it really paid off. While the “plot” itself isn’t anything special, there are a handful of really great side gags (hi, Dirty Kevin!!!!) and it’s fun to see these three interact. They all get some nice character beats. It’s a good time.

47. Something Fishy (Season 3, episode 8)

This might’ve hit me harder if I’d actually seen The Shape of Water, but the send-up works fine without having more than the seen-the-trailer level of understanding. Gwen dresses pretty, which I love; Max sucks, which I also love. What drags this one down is mostly feeling like the surreal aspects of the comedy go a bit too far into the “what the fu/ck am I looking at?” territory without really . . . making an actual joke beyond “look! Wacky!"

Why is David at the opera with a bird? Why??

46. City Survival (Season 3, episode 11)

Literally do not remember a single thing about this episode except David getting mugged and being called a “homeless twi/nk.” That should probably rank it lower on the list, but David being a fluttery mother hen saves it for me -- as does the fact that it leads directly into one of my favorite episodes, and the single best story arc of the series.

Next set of episodes is what I’m going to arbitrarily call “okay! but like the good kind of okay, not the bad kind.”

45. Bonjour Bonquisha (Season 2, episode 7)

Max and Sasha masterminding a scheme is really fun; their dynamic is great (though it won’t be fully realized until Season 4), and heartbroken David is so tragically cute it actually makes my heart explode out of my chest.

Also I can’t resist a good “3 kids in a trench coat” gag.

44. Anti-Social Network (Season 2, episode 2)

Neil is very relatable and I don’t have much else to say about this one. It’s fun to see an episode that more heavily focuses on our nerdy science boy, and Max and Neil teaming up to save Nikki was really charming and sweet and set my Makkiel ship out to sea.

43. A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever (Season 2 holiday episode)

Why does this episode have a musical number? It’s not good.

Okay, that was mean. This is fun and cute and Gwen wears a pretty purple sweatshirt and Space Kid gives her a present and it’s really sweet. But that musical number is an instant fast-forward for me, sorry.

42. Preston Goodplay's Good Play (Season 4, episode 7)

We get some Preston character development! Awesome!

It’s done in a really trippy and surreal way that totally fits his character and heightens the drama of the episode! Awesome!

David has an apparently-tragic history of being a French mime! Not a good call! 

Next tier: Some good sh/it! (Tbh, these could all be put in just about any order; they might as well be one massive tie.)

41. Cookin' Cookies (Season 2, episode 11)

I love the Flower Scouts. I love Dirty Kevin. I love the idea of accidentally starting a dru/g empire. Another weird, borderline experimental one focusing on side characters, and I think it works better than “New Adventure!” because the scale of the melodrama is just so over-the-top.

The fact that this is in the bottom 20 but I have nothing but good things to say about it illustrates how dang good this show is. It’s only getting better from here, folks!

40. Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected (Season 1, episode 7)

Preston is a terrible playwright. This makes sense, because he’s like 11, but he’s the kind of hilariously bad I wish I’d been as a preteen, because his play is absolutely bonkers. Max fucking with David is great, Tabii vs. Bonquisha is great, Bonquisha in general is a giant amazonian goddess and I want to be swept up into her giant arms. Neil is . . . a robot, for some reason?

So much fun!

39. Camp Cool Kidz (Season 1, episode 4)

I don’t love Ered’s characterization in this one, but there are a lot of wacky hijinks in this episode that I think make it really enjoyable. Max’s wide-eyed revolutionary naïveté is a fun change from his usual dour pessimism, and Nikki’s loyalty to Ered is both very gay and very charming. Plus we get to learn a bit more about how the camp operates (and fails to operate), and it’s a nice way to better establish the campsite as its own setting.

(Definitely think “Cool” should’ve been spelled with a K though. But whatever, I don’t write for the show.)

38. Scout's Dishonor (Season 1, episode 3)

The birth of Neeancy! The introduction of the Flower and Wood Scouts! Neil saying “cu/nt” -- one of the first and only truly shocking uses of profanity in the entire show! ZUKO!

I don’t know if my fondness for this one is rooted mostly in nostalgia or if it was actually really fun, but I enjoyed the he/ll out of it. Not as highly-rated as some other episodes mostly because it doesn’t really do anything, character or story-wise, but not every episode needs to be a massive game-changer that drowns us in feels. Sometimes it’s enough to have a fun romp, and this is very that.

37. Ered Gets Her Cool Back (Season 3, episode 2)

Awww, Ered. I have a soft spot for her, because I love the archetype of a spoiled bit/ch clearly still figuring out how to be a person and have friends. You really get the sense of her as a teenager trying to sort her shi/t out in this episode, which I would love to see more of. Her interactions with Nerris are top-tier, and I like that it’s a continuation of how her character’s been softening since Season 1 into this kind of big-sister figure.

Also, all the female campers in this show are lesbians. I do not make the rules.

36. Attack of the Nurfs (Season 4, episode 2)

I feel like this is a pretty underrated episode. But then again, I feel like Nurf is a pretty underrated character, so maybe that’s just my own personal bias.

I really enjoyed all the different iterations of Nurf, and I think Blaine did a killer job giving each one its own personality and life. It’s a fun episode that plays hard with cartoon physics (a 3D printer printing people! I love it!) and has a surprisingly moving ending.

At least, that’s what I think. Most other people seem to find this one pretty forgettable. Again: make your own da/mn list. I liked it.

35. Mascot (Season 1, episode 2)

This entire episode is memorable for so many things, but a few of my favorites:

David is established as kind of a di/ck.

Platypus arrives and kicks all the as/s.

Quartermaster is the best.

Nerris, Harrison, and Space Kid all get little moments to show off how cute they are.

Neil and Nikki bonding.

This:

34. Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak (Season 2, episode 3)

I love watching Nerris and Harrison bicker, and Neil and Nikki fit really well into their group. It reminds me of being a kid, and of playing Dungeons & Dragons (as an adult, because I’m so cool), and of summer . . . which is a really good thing for this show. There are a lot of funny one-liners, and it’s just a good dang time.

33. Quartermaster Appreciation Day (Season 2, episode 6)

I don’t think this one is all that well-loved, but I thought it was funny. There are literally zero important plot or character moments, but it made me laugh a lot, and that’s all I need a Camp Camp episode to do. 

I love QM, and the more we learn about him, the more confused and disturbed we end up being. What a fu/cking champion.

32. Arrival of the Torso Takers (Season 3 Halloween episode)

I lowkey hated this one when it came out, because I knew the Daniel stans were going to be exhausting. And they kind of were? But looking back, it’s a great way to reintroduce this motherfu/cker. He’s a lot scarier than he was the last time around -- but also less competent, which is a great way to kick him in the proverbial ba/lls -- and while I wish it had a lot more Gwen in it, it’s a clever and creative Halloween episode. 

31. Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot (Season 3, episode 10)

Charlie . . . Tango . . . Foxtrot . . . CTF . . . OH! Capture the Flag! I never got that before. Oh, that’s neat. I love this show.

Listen, every time the writers decide to take a risk and do something bizarre and creative, I’m going to be here for it at least a little bit. An entire episode told from the POV of the Woodscouts, explaining how hard they failed in all directions? A great gag where everyone in Petrol’s story talks in grunts? The return of Jermy Fartz?! Fantastic. 

30. Panicked Room (Season 4, episode 16)

Listen. I’m a sucker for my trash grandpa; anything Campbell-centric is probably going to be pretty good (except #54), because he’s just one of the most consistently funny and engaging characters. Good times are had whenever this terrible man is on the screen, and giving him a romantic backstory? A tragic romantic backstory full of mistakes and emotional damage?? One where he waited 17 YEARS for the love of his life???

We have no choice but to stan.

29. Party Pooper (Season 4, episode 15)

I’m so predictable. If you put Gwen in something, I will be happy. If you make an entire episode about how Gwen is under-appreciated and overworked and just trying to do her best despite the circumstances, I will dedicate my firstborn child to you.

Anyway, this episode is really sweet, and I liked the unexpected direction the writers took her relationship with her dad. He seems like a nice guy, they seem like they have a nice relationship, and . . . well, an episode about how hard it is to be an adult millennial hit pretty hard. Plus this was just a really pretty episode -- and not just because Gwen was in so much of it! Seriously, that night sky was a thing of beauty.

Also if you say a fuc/king word about Max and that godda/mn dog I will choke you out with your own intestines. Few things are more hilariously, annoyingly ironic than the fact that the entire fandom ignored and failed to appreciate Gwen . . . in the episode all about how everyone ignores and fails to appreciate Gwen.

28. Culture Day (Season 3 holiday episode)

Now, would it be arrogant to point out that I had the idea for a Culture/Heritage Day back in September 2018? Yes, especially since I don’t think the writers ever read fanfiction and it has literally nothing to do with this episode. Will that stop me? He/ll no it will not! I am a creature of ego! Read my stuff! 

Anyway, this is a really fun look at Neil’s background, personality, and relationships. Max looking out for him is just . . . oh my god, I cannot, I’ve written like 30 of these and my brain is starting to melt, but these two are so cute. I love arrogant Neil, and I love protective Max, and I love QM and Gwen fuc/king over the Flower Scouts to save the day. Everything about this episode is lovely.

27. Cameron Campbell the Camp Campbell Camper (Season 3, episode 7)

This should not be ranked so high (even if these are all essentially tied). This is a dumb episode based on a really, really dumb premise. 

But . . . I don’t know what to tell you. “Samboy Kidwell,” Max realizing he and Campbell are disturbingly similar and not liking what his future could look like, David’s “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” face . . . this episode happens to hit all of my favorite things. It had a really good balance of heavy-handed moralizing and goofs, it was part of the most graceful lead-up into a finale the show has ever had, and I’m just all about it. 

Excellent job, Samboy. Count Olaf would be proud of your disguise.

There ends the “some good sh/it” tier. We’re starting to get into the really excellent stuff now!

26. Parents' Day (Season 2, episode 12)

I know. You want this to be higher. I hear you.

Honestly I’m kind of shocked it’s this high; it’s my least favorite of the season finales so far, and I had to push past a lot of prejudice to actually rank this where I think it deserves to be, as opposed to somewhere in the like mid-40s. Mostly because it gave fuel to the raging inferno of “Max has terrible parents and David should adopt him” headcanons, which I’ve detailed my problems with extensively in the past (in a post that, statistically speaking, none of you have read).

But, trying to be objective: is this episode actually any good?

Well . . . yeah, it really is.

So much work was put into giving each of the campers families that make sense with their characters and bounce absurdly well off of them, ranging from wholesome and adorable (Nerris’s family) to quietly tragic (Harrison’s parents), and they’re all designed so well; they’re fun to look at and fun to watch interact with the kids and each other. (The only exception is Dolph’s dad, who is both kinda lame and misattributes the cause of the weird Na/zi thing because it did not come from Germany, I assure you. But things with Dolph are always a little off, and I don’t really know how you would give him a backstory that actually works with the character, so they were caught between a rock and a hard place there.)

The drama of David having to choose between the man he considers his father and the camp he considers his home is really touching, and him and Gwen choosing to take a sad camper out to get pizza instead of covering for their boss’s a/ss is such a beautiful moment for both of them that I can’t really blame the fandom for losing their mind over it. Campbell’s arrest leading into the arcs of the next two seasons was great as well, and the finale left us all with this weird sense of foreboding because we didn’t know what was going to happen next; it was the only finale that actually ended on something close to a cliffhanger, while still being satisfying enough to keep us all from melting down.

Plus, it’s funny. Carl and Candy are really funny and the idea of Neil and Nikki’s parents boning is funny in a horrible way. The joke about Quartersister is funny. It’s a good episode.

Should this be higher? Maybe, but I can’t bring myself to put it above the rest of these episodes. Again: make your own list.

25. Mind Freakers (Season 1, episode 10)

The episode that launched a thousand ships. Assuming those ships are all Harrison/Neil, anyway.

It’s hard to talk about these Season 1 episodes because they feel so classic. Like, what is there to say? You’ve all seen it a couple dozen times; I’ve seen it a couple dozen times. Harrison is a di/ck, Neil is possibly an even bigger di/ck, and magic may or may not be real. (Though spoilers for literally every season: yes, magic is definitely real.) It’s so much fun watching these two smug as/sholes snipe at each other in an almost literal playground hair-pulling way that could very easily be read as flirtation. 

And the fandom did most certainly read it that way, at least for a little while.

24. Gwen Gets a Job (Season 2, episode 8)

It’s Gwen. What, was I supposed to not put it this high?

This was the first Gwen-centric episode, and it absolutely slaps. She’s pushed to the breaking point and responds by being a cold-hearted BAMF, and it got her some pretty significant hate from fans but I don’t give a fu/ck, I loved it. We got to see her all dolled up, and then we got to see her all disheveled, and both of those looks were gorgeous. David gives her a tiny fragment of the love and validation she deserves (I don’t know if this is when gwenvid started taking off -- I think it wasn’t really until “Parents’ Day,” or even Season 3 -- but I ate that s/hit up).

Also, again: job hunting post-2008. It’s a bad time, y’all. Camp Camp gets it.

23. Follow the Leader (Season 4, episode 6)

Yeah, I was kind of surprised at how high this landed, too. I guess I’m just a sucker for unlikely companionships, and these three have a great chemistry. The combination of competitiveness, sass, and reluctant admiration make their interactions a lot of fun. Their motivation of doing petty errands for Campbell for the sake of getting at the Box of Illegal Contraband is a great framework too, with high enough stakes to justify all sorts of wacky shenanigans without causing actual anxiety.

I want to see these characters forced to spend more time together. Please, RT, make that happen.

22. Escape from Camp Campbell (Season 1, episode 1)

In terms of numbers, this feels so low, but considering everything from about #45 on is ranked as at least decent, this is actually a pretty high rating. There are 21 episodes I’d call better than this, but these decisions were all pretty painful.

This introduces us to everyone! The main trio, the counselors, Mr. Campbell; we get a snapshot of the major personalities running around the camp, the major points of conflict (Max vs. David, primarily), the major building blocks of future episodes, setting, and relationships . . . 

Again, I don’t know how much of my love for this episode is nostalgia -- there’s a lot of squeeing at familiar faces and gags; this is the first time David gets hit by a bus!!! -- but it was a fun and funny introduction to a series that’s ended up being so important to me, and I’m so grateful this wonderful, quirky little show with its wonderful and quirky little premiere. 

Of all the episodes, I really can’t look at this one objectively. It’s too important.

21. The Fun-Raiser (Season 3, episode 1)

David and Gwen scheming is my ki/nk. They very rarely scheme together, but every single time their teamwork makes the dream work (or, more frequently, makes the dream fail horribly and have disastrous consequences) my soul flies out of my body and takes to the stars, where I write another 500 first chapters to gwenvid fanfics I’ll probably never finish.

This is a great follow-up to “Parents’ Day,” where we immediately see the consequences of the previous season finale and what happens when the one adult in the camp disappears. Mr. Campbell was a terrible adult, true, but at least he was smart enough not to steal QM’s hook. Like . . . whose plan was this? It was so bad. These two are hilariously incompetent sometimes -- often when their bad ideas are feeding off of each other, actually, a la this and “Space Camp Was a Hoax” -- and watching them frantically try and keep all their balls in the air is so great. 

The ending is satisfying, too; a bit graphic, in keeping with a show that tends to keep the violence limited to periodic spurts of bloodshed 1-2 times a season and mostly pretty mild the rest of the time, but between Max stepping up and fixing everything while still being his shi/tty self to our dear dumba/ss counselors getting their dumb as/ses handed to them (deservedly so, if we’re being honest) . . . it’s such a great note to begin a new season on.

20. Journey to Spooky Island (Season 1, episode 5)

A classic.

We get to meet our spooky boy Jasper, we get to watch the comedy trio play off each other and continue to sketch out the general contours of their friendship, and we get to see the Quartermaster with a big purple dil/do for a hand. What’s not to love?

19. The Butterfinger Effect (Season 4, episode 17)

CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES! GET YOUR CONTROVERSIAL HOT TAKES HERE!

I’ve already gone into some pretty intense detail about why I think this one is actually really good and carries the theme of embracing change that everything about Season 4 was centered around, but none of y’all read that so here it is in short: this episode is super funny, almost all of the campers’ transformations work really well as extensions of their characters while still being strange and surprising, and the fact that Nurf creates all of these problems by trying to solve them is deliciously fun to watch in a karmic sort of way.

Or maybe it’s just because any Nurf-centric episode is going to rank pretty highly for me. That is also possible.

18. Space Camp Was a Hoax (Season 2, episode 10)

Our camp counselors being bad people: it’s my drug of choice.

We get Space Kid tripping balls in what might be one of the funniest sequences in the show, the entire camp coming together to try and pull off the stupidest, most impossible task (and kinda maybe almost nailing it???), and once again the fun of watching Gwen and David scramble to keep from getting caught in their boss’s shit/ty lies is so great. And Lindsay’s voice acting is absolutely killer, even more so than usual. 

17. Jermy Fartz (Season 2, episode 4)

I get the sense this might be a somewhat controversial one. 

I’ve written before about why I think this episode is a lot of fun, but it mostly boils down to two things: watching the campers try (and fail) to be nice to the most bully-able person on the entire planet, and the essential likeableness of Jermy. 

No, really.

I think a lot of people were put off by Jermy’s general grossness, because . . . my god is he disgusting, but he’s also polite and good-natured, and seems totally self aware of how difficult he is to be around, without letting it make him depressed. He’s cheerful in a weirdly downbeat way that’s impossible to understand until you see him in action. He’s so matter-of-fact about his own awfulness in a way that I found entirely endearing. I don’t think I’d want him at my camp, either, but get that kid to a good dermatologist and gastroenterologist, teach him some basic hygiene and social skills, and you’ll have quite a little gentleman there.

I do however find it hilarious that apparently David got the type of tree wrong when making fun of Jermy. Not only is that a great moment for reveling in David being an as/shole, but he didn’t even have the right wood. F/ucking idiot. I love him so much.

These last ones are my favorites! (Well, duh, that’s how this whole ranking thing works.) Maybe not perfect, but just really good and with limitless rewatch value.

16. St. Campbell's Day (Season 4 holiday episode)

They Grinch’d Camp Camp. Those brilliant bast/ards, they really pulled it off.

Ignoring the fact that David is truly frightening-looking for most of the episode, this is a great bookend to Season 4, following up on the theme established in the first episode about how David is a flawed and selfish human being despite trying his best not to be.

This is another one I was surprised to find so high on the list, but the more I thought about it the more I realizes how good it is. David being a jerk is always one of my favorite storylines, and the fact that the trouble comes from him trusting Mr. Campbell too little instead of too much is a nice twist on the usual formula. Gwen coming to help him out despite a blistering hangover gave me aggressive shipping feels, yes, obviously. 

Between a lot of really funny little gags like QM’s failed satanic ritual and the genuinely touching moral about the importance of spending time with the people you love, it’s just a really lovely episode that gets just the right amount of maudlin for the holiday season. 

15. Jasper Dies at the End (Season 2, episode 5)

I kept switching this and “Dial M for Jasper”; it was a really difficult decision to make, figuring out where these two belonged. I think in the end, while the John Dies at the End reference was very, very good, this one loses me a little bit by being told from David’s perspective. Now, normally the more David is in an episode the more I’ll be likely to love it (see my #1 for proof of that), but his blinders when it comes to the camp and Mr. Campbell result in a really funny story, but one without the same emotional heft as hearing about what happened from Jasper’s point of view.

That doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for what it needs to be: each Jasper episode builds on the previous ones, and having the same intensity of “Dial M for Jasper,” where we learn how he died and how his relationship with David fell apart, would be weird and heavy at this point. In Season 1 we just found out he’s a ghost (and eagle-eyed viewers realized he’d been a camper with David); in Season 2 we find out how David views their friendship and time at camp; and in Season 3 we get Jasper’s perspective. It’s an absolutely wonderful raising of the stakes (for lack of a better term), but the one that packs more of an emotional punch is going to rank a bit higher than the one that’s mostly just for laughs.

That being said: there are plenty of laughs in this one. Everyone -- Griffin, Miles, Travis, the animators -- nailed this one, and it gets funnier every time I watch it.

14. Camporee (Season 1, episode 11)

AKA the episode where Forest realized she was in love with Gwen. 

What a great idea for an episode, seriously. Every coming-of-age story has a talent show or a competition or a big game -- something where the kiddos can show off their improved skills and teamwork to beat their bullies or whatever. And this show has both kinds of bullies: the popular girly girls and the violent muscleheads. What a great moment to pull everyone together and show how friendship can help us accomplish anything!

Except . . . of course that’s not what happens. Of course they’re absolute garbage, and of course teamwork isn’t the answer. Gwen is the perfect foil for David here, being the anti-teamwork, anti-Camp-Campbell adult who can perfectly and effortlessly undermine David’s relentless optimism. David wants so badly for his campers to live in the same coming-of-age summer movie he did as a child, and their staunch refusal to do that leads to a really heartbreaking closer to the episode, as well as lead into the next one. Everything about this, from the challenges to the setup to Gwen shouting “we are winning this FUC/KING trophy!” is just gold.

13. David Gets Hard (Season 1, episode 9)

We have David. We have Nurf. We have Gwen. We have Max trying to be helpful in the shi/ttiest way possible.

We have all the makings of a da/mn good episode. And they deliver. Not a very emotionally intense or moving one, but so, so funny.

12. Dial M for Jasper (Season 3, episode 5)

This isn’t the fate any of us expected for Jasper, and it’s not the fate of a lot of people wanted. But godda/mn it, it worked. The constant bait-and-switch the episode keeps playing with, where you keep waiting for something really dramatic and tragic to happen . . . and then the reality is that Jasper died because Mr. Campbell was stupid and careless, and it was all just a horribly sad accident.

It’s anticlimactic, but in a way that suits the series, both as a comedic counterpoint to all the hype throughout the episode and as a way to establish that Cameron Campbell is a bad man first and foremost through selfishness and laziness, not Daniel-esque sinister evil. Jasper’s death was totally avoidable and totally Campbell’s fault, and while that’s sad, it also adds a weird sort of lightness to the episode. David didn’t do something terrible to kill his best friend, Jasper didn’t kill himself, and without having actively chosen to murder a child (well, not this time), the door remains open for fans accepting Campbell’s later pseudo-redemption. It was just an accident, and Jasper was “haunting” David to tell him that he was sorry for how their friendship ended. That’s really sweet, actually.

I think it’s the best way this reveal could’ve gone, and I’m so impressed with how they pulled it all off.

11. Into Town (Season 1, episode 8)

This might actually be the only flawless episode in the entire show. I mean, I call a lot of them flawless, and I mean that on an emotional level -- “I love this so much I cannot see anything wrong with it” -- but this one is a masterpiece of storytelling. All the technical jumbo I’m bad at, like planting and payoff and tension and all of that, is just perfect.

I feel like this is the kind of claim that needs to be backed up with a long-as/s essay full of citations and video clips and references to, like, Joseph Campbell or something, but this is my 49th entry in the list so I am not going to be doing that. Besides, I don’t think my English degree qualifies me to critique film/animation; I don’t even entirely know half the terms I’ve used to compliment this episode. Someone else please explain why this is such a good one.

10. The Quarter-Moon Convergence (Season 4, episode 5)

I’ve mentioned in other entries that the weird, surreal humor sometimes doesn’t work; it feels too much like being odd for its own sake, and sometimes gets so distracted in being surreal that it forgets to include anything funny or meaningful. 

This . . . is not one of those.

Putting Harrison and QM together is a stroke of genius; the two of them are literally the most magical beings in the entire show, and using them as the conveyance for this great Lovecraftian horror-comedy was such a good idea. I don’t know if we’ll ever see these two interact in another episode -- honestly, this felt a bit like lightning in a bottle, and I have a hard time imagining what could possibly bring them together again -- but if this is the only episode we get, it is such a fantastic one.

Harrison makes a really good everyman, despite his powers; he’s just the right amount of confident and insecure to pull off that wide-eyed apprentice to QM’s grizzled wise mentor. (The fact that QM is objectively a terrible mentor is beside the point.) I still don’t entirely know what the two of them accomplished, but it feels baffling and momentous, with the perfect amount of gravity to make things extremely tense all the way through to the end.

Also, I guess God is an octopus? That’s kinda cool. I like octopuses.

9. Camp Corp. (Season 3, episode 12)

Another unpopular opinion? Oh ho ho, I am so contrary! I am Not Like Other Fans! I am the Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, refusing to have the same opinions of all you prepz.

I know this wasn’t the most well-loved episode, but I think it did a really great job tying together story threads woven throughout Season 3: Max’s selfishness leading to him hurting other people, his growing realization that he cares about his friends and the camp itself, the parallels between him and Mr. Campbell (and the fact that they both get this redemption moment in the finale). 

This is the most Max-centric season, focusing on his flaws and character growth, and they pulled it off in a really organic way that felt faithful to his character, touching without being too maudlin. The fact that his feelings about the camp are echoed in Gwen, Neil and Nikki, the other campers, and even Mr. Campbell drives home how important the camp -- and David -- are to this strange little family. 

Each season, Max reluctantly becomes a better person, without changing the fundamental core of who he is. That’s a really hard putt for the writers and Michael, and I’m blown away every finale by how they so consistently nail it.

8. Time Crapsules (Season 4, episode 18)

Gwen-centric? Check.

Max learning how to be a better person while still being the bratty kid we know and love? Check.

Looks at one of the most under-appreciated character dynamics in the entire show (i.e., Max and Gwen)? Checkity check-check-check.

I don’t really have much to say about this one, which I should: it was considered a pretty serious letdown to a lot of fans, and I’m not sure how to explain why I loved it so much. 

Comparing Max from “The Order of the Sparrow” to Max from this episode is wild. It’s not like 2 different characters: they’re still very obviously the same cynical, self-absorbed 10-year-old trying to survive summer camp. But he’s become a more considerate friend and decent version of that kid, and it’s great to watch. The moment where he and Gwen go too far and immediately regret snapping at each other is still painful (on my god, the VAs in this show, they’re so talented), Nikki and Neil both get nice subplots about how they’re also growing up, and the ending is fuc/king hilarious, perfectly breaking the tension from Campbell’s speech, which is both beautifully done and important to hear, especially if you’re in a period of uncomfortable transition (like, say, in your late 20s, or living through about 5 different national and global catastrophes).

And okay, I found that speech on the wiki for this episode and it made me deeply emotional, so here:

Here's the thing: you've got to take your failures and make something out of them. Take Camp Campbell for instance: a lot of poor decisions went into making this place what it is today. Sure, somewhere along the line it maybe strayed from its path, not living up to the camp it wanted to be. At some point, the camp realized that the camp would never reach the end of its path until it was ready or until it gave up. So, if the camp wanted to keep embezzling money and dealing with foreign powers, so be it! But, at some point, it didn't anymore. I never saw this coming, but I'm starting to think this camp is the best it's ever been.

If this is the last episode of Camp Camp we ever get -- and for at least a little while, it looks like it’s going to be -- I can’t think of a sweeter, funnier, and more lovely bittersweet note for this show to go out on.

7. The Lake Lilac Summer Social (Season 3, episode 6)

And again: No one was surprised. 

This is the longest non-finale episode of the show, and it uses that time perfectly. Rather than having some big emotional moments and character arcs -- which are great, don’t get me wrong -- the writers use the extended time to build a series of shenanigans as complicated as Gwen’s matchmaking web, and watching her try to set up a series of dominos (with David, for once, being the responsible, level-headed one) is almost as satisfying as the catastrophic results. 

Neil and Snake steal this episode, even from someone as in love with Gwen as I am, and for an episode that’s largely about making fun of shippers, there hasn’t been one that launched nearly as many ships as this. Neil/Snake? Tabii/Erin? Max/Nikki? GWENVID?! It’s all here, and I am here for it.

It was also fun to get a traditional episode setup in a very non-traditional show. I assume this means the beach and/or hot springs episode is forthcoming. (No, Pis/s Lake doesn’t count. Obviously it doesn’t count.)

6. Keep the Change (Season 4, episode 1)

Again, this is an episode I’ve said a lot about in the past -- and I was pretty uncharitable toward Season 3, which in retrospect was very unse/xy of me -- but I stand by a lot of my opinions then: this is a fu/cking great episode.

David is an as/shole, Max is an as/shole, Campbell is an as/shole. No one escapes the as/sholery. David schemes, Max catches him in the scheme, Campbell gets drunk and kind of gay . . . I’m 54 entries into this list and I don’t have much to say anymore: it’s just really good and fun and I love it.

5. Camp Loser Says What? (Season 4, episode 9)

This is another one I kind of hated when it came out, and again for fandom-related and personal-grudge reasons.

Fu/cking Daniel. That motherfu/cker. He shows up for 12 minutes and Tumblr bursts into flames. Every single time.

However, it’s really hard not to love this one. Daniel-as-Trump is a clever but subtle -- I mean, for this show’s definition of subtle -- allegory, and it’s amazing how much this slimy freak and the Woodscouts slot into it. David is a bise/xual disaster with the absolute worst taste in men, Dirty Kevin and Daniel are onscreen together for all of 2.5 seconds and the kevdan shippers lost their minds, and Xemug looks like Megamind for some weird reason.

My only minor complaint is that the ending is a bit anticlimactic, but it plays on Daniel’s stupidity and the value of teamwork, so it’s a very small nitpick in an episode that mostly works like gangbusters.

4. Cult Camp (Season 2, episode 1)

Duh. There’s a really good song and we’re introduced to a charismatic, sinister, and totally dumba/ss villain. What’s not to like?

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this episode. Season 2 started off the summer by throwing a lit firecracker directly at the viewer’s face, and ignoring the fact that we as a fandom proceeded to eat each other, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the episode’s wild energy.

And dude, that song. Fabulous. Fu/ck Daniel, but thank god he’s around to be such a prickly little pri/ck.

Now for the top 3: Literally perfect, wouldn’t change a single solitary thing.

3. After Hours (Season 4, episode 8)

I’m not sure anyone loved this episode as much as me. But this is my list, and I will put this up at the top if I want to and you cannot stop me.

It’s much easier in a lot of ways to talk about the episodes I hated than the ones I love this much. What do I say besides “literally everything about this fills me with joy and my life is better because it exists”? I don’t know. The counselors are my favorite characters, and between Gwen and QM having the weirdest bonding experience, Gwen getting to meet up with people who care about her silly fanfiction, Mr. Campbell being the trash grandpa of my dreams, David getting in way over his head . . . it’s the episode I always wanted, and they made it work so well.

Also, I just discovered that “Gwen Isn’t Your Mother So Stop Asking Her to Rinse Your Dishes” is an actual song and I am overwhelmed with delight. Here, I’m embedding it as well as linking because it’s so good:

God. This show. What the fu/ck even is up with this amazing, weird-as/s show.

2. The Order of the Sparrow (Season 1, episode 12)

Duh.

The entire first season is a great time (except “Reigny Day”), but it’s a pretty low-stakes kind of great time. There isn’t much in terms of emotional depth until the very end of “Camporee,” despite some hints at darker themes in one-off jokes and quick asides, so this episode comes a bit out of left field, tonally speaking.

But that’s not a bug, it’s a feature; if the show had been this overtly emotional from the outset, this finale wouldn’t hit as hard, and the rest of the season wouldn’t be as funny. 

This manages to serve as a capstone to the conflict of the first season, building on episodes like “Into Town” and “Escape from Camp Campbell” in a way that feels totally natural for both David and Max’s characters while revealing new sides of them. It works because it’s so unexpected, but it doesn’t come across as incongruous with their personalities. It’s the first and only time David swears in all 4 seasons, and that line -- I don’t even need to say it, you know exactly what I’m talking about -- still gives me chills.

Also, Gwen sings the camp theme song. Impossible not to cherish.

1. The Forest (Season 4, episode 12)

I’m not sure if this one is a surprise or not. It might be the obvious first place, or it might be a bit of an oddball for some people.

I had a really hard time choosing between this and “The Order of the Sparrow”; I switched their places half a dozen times, and the difference in quality between the two is razor-thin. I think part of that is because it accomplishes a lot of what “Order of the Sparrow” does: puts David in a situation where he’s pushed to his absolute emotional and physical capacity, crushes every shred of hope he has left, and sees what he’s actually made of when you strip everything away. It’s much more dramatic this time around, but it’s the same basic concept.

And just like in the Season 1 finale, what we see is a man who’s determined to do good even when he isn’t rewarded for it, even when he’s actively punished for it. Who wants to love nature, and life, and make the world a better place -- despite his faults, his selfishness and thoughtlessness and anger, David proves that he is fundamentally kind. He’s not nearly as deludedly optimistic as he seems; he just refuses to stop trying.

Because somebody fuc/king has to.

I’ll admit, some of what puts this one in first place is that I’m a sucker for whump, and David really goes through the ringer. However, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the risk Joe Nicolosi took with writing this episode: it’s all centered around a single character, it’s darker and more viscerally bloody than any other episode in the show’s history, the art is focused on these grand sweeping backgrounds that must’ve taken forever to paint, and there’s very little talking in a show that runs 99% on clever dialogue. This could have so easily backfired -- and for some fans it did -- but it was brave and beautiful and breathtaking.

I’ve actually only watched this in full once. It’s really hard to get through; it’s just so intense and even disturbing. But if there’s one episode I'll remember for the rest of my life, even when I’m 80 years old and haven’t seen the show in years, it’ll be “The Forest.”

It’s funny how such a sharp departure from the format and style of the rest of the show somehow manages to perfectly capture the heart of it. Talk about a fuc/king achievement.

So what have we learned?

I don’t entirely know what the purpose of this whole exercise was. I think it was mostly to get myself a nice Camp Camp fix that came from something other than slogging through 20 different fanfic WIPs, and to remind myself of what a strange and fun ride the last 4 summers have been. 

I also wanted to take a moment to acknowledge what Camp Camp means to me. This show has been hugely important to me on a personal level: I met two of my best friends through this fandom, and I’ve never been more connected to a community or readers than I have with CC. I know I bi/tch about this fandom a lot, but it’s a big extended internet family, and I’m so happy to be a part of it. Going through all these episodes, getting the chance to ramble about the things I liked and the things I didn’t, was a great way to reconnect with a series and community that I love.

So . . . what have we learned?

1. Season 4 was all over the place.

Some of this has to be due to the sheer volume of episodes, but when I sat down and organized everything into tiers:

There isn’t a single category Season 4 doesn’t have at least one episode in. I was surprised to see how high a lot of them ended up; it really was the best and worst of the show so far.

For the fun of it, I decided to give a number to each placement -- 60 points for the #1 episode, 59 for #2, etc. -- and see how each season broke down. Because that’s that kind of thing I think is worthwhile, apparently. And . . .

2. Seasons 1 and 4 are really good, actually.

Well, I don’t think anyone’s surprised to see how well Season 1 stacked up; it was amazing. But I was surprised to see how much I ended up enjoying Seasons 3 and 4, when if you’d asked me before this little project, I would’ve said they were the most underwhelming. Maybe I messed up the numbers a bit -- I’m no mathmagician -- but not only are they all really close, but Season 4 was one of my favorites.

3. This entire show is really good, actually.

One thing that really struck me when I put it all together visually is how most of the episodes sit in the “good,” “really good,” or “amazing” categories. The amount of episodes that are memorable, fun, and/or emotionally resonant is crazy. I don’t now how many other tiny cult-hit web series can say the same, honestly, and all of the writers, animators, directors/producers/other people whose jobs I don’t really understand, and voice actors should be commended for their outstanding talent and hard work.

4. Thank you, Camp Camp.

It was a real pleasure to relive all of these episodes again and think about what they meant to me. It won’t be the last time I sit down and watch this show -- and it certainly won’t be the end of my being a shrieking fangirl over it -- but with this break, where we have to get through a blazing, extremely difficult summer without a new season to fawn over, it’s nice to stop and appreciate what a precious gem of a show this is.

I hope everyone involved with Rooster Teeth is taking a much-deserved rest and prioritizing their health and well-being. Thank you for creating something truly special, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

well, if my first ADHD-related appointment with a therapist was kind of validating in confirming that I have this thing I think I have and yes it’s a problem, today’s appointment with a nurse practitioner who can actually prescribe stuff was...kind of invalidating? not even materially so, I mean she said I meet the criteria for ADHD and she wrote me a prescription for Adderall with instructions to start at a very low dose and gradually increase to see what happens, and she scheduled another appointment with me in a few weeks to check back, and it basically all seemed fine at the time, but--

well, she also said it didn’t sound like a severe case, and that at least some of what I was describing was just kind of what modern life is like for everybody, and when I said I figured my ADHD is at the root of a lot of my anxiety and depression she was pretty quick to tell me that’s not how it works until I explained the--in hindsight pretty fucking obvious--connection that a lot of my depression stems from feeling like a failure in ways that are probably caused by ADHD, and a lot of my anxiety stems from how I’m constantly forgetting things and sometimes I can’t hold onto a thought long enough to write it down and I get overwhelmed easily because I can’t prioritize, etc. etc. etc.

and like, again, I don’t think it really...matters? she’s not the one I’ll really be talking with, for the most part, and they’re in the same office so if my actual therapist is picking up on things that the nurse practitioner isn’t, they can, should, and probably will discuss my case between themselves. all I really need from the woman I saw today is the willingness to write prescriptions and work with me to find the right dose/medication and I have that, I literally have an Adderall prescription now and she perfectly willing to do medication management with me. so that’s all good. 

but basically as soon as I left the building, my brain started chewing on it and wouldn’t let go, because shit, I didn’t really emphasize my procrastination and perfectionism enough, did I? especially with examples from college and grad school? I mean I talked about it but did I talk enough about how my brain just kind of divides things into “now” and “not now” and if something either can’t be done now or isn’t due now, I can’t feel the urgency needed to make me actually do it? or the self-loathing spiral I get into every time I fuck up? or how I do fuck up, all the time, except now I can’t think of concrete examples? I said I had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and I never feel rested but did I say that it’s at least sometimes because my brain won’t shut off? or how something relatively minor but negative will happen and my brain sinks its teeth in and won’t let go? or how slow I am at work? did I emphasize enough how much I need to externalize my brain or I completely forget things, I mean I know I talked about it but apparently it sounded somewhat normal? I should’ve told her how often I get hit with interest charges and late fees on my credit cards because I can’t remember to pay them, or...how I got this character in a game and I had two entire months to level her up but doing so involved active playing so I kept putting it off and when time was running out I really sincerely meant to do it and then I just kept forgetting, and obviously that wasn’t a genuinely important thing but maybe it still would’ve been a good illustration? or how my room is a disaster and part of that is because of the earthquake way back in Nov. 2018? or how I keep buying posters and prints but never putting them on my walls, and starting projects I never finish even when they’re relatively quick and easy? (wait, I did talk about that though, didn’t I?) or how I have to write everything down in my planner but there are times when I still somehow forget to look at it, or how I write tons of to-do lists but never cross off most of the things on them and after a little while I forget the to-do list exists in the first place unless it’s constantly in front of my face? or how sometimes extremely basic shit just straight-up doesn’t occur to me until it’s too late? or how I think I don’t regulate my emotions very well? or how miserable it makes me that I feel like I never finish anything or accomplish even very basic goals? or how I am almost never on time, ever, in part because my sense of time is just kind of terrible? or my executive dysfunction, fuck, that’s definitely a thing and I never used those words either, I mean I talked about how I can’t get myself to fucking start things but maybe if I’d used the term...? and fuck, maybe she’s right and my brain is actually not that fucked up, it’s actually way closer to normal than I’ve been thinking, which I guess just means I’m a lazy piece of shit who can’t accomplish anything...but she said I meet the criteria for ADHD, and I keep reading all these articles and posts about it and going “oh shit that explains so much about my brain,” and obviously I’ve had like two decades to figure out some coping strategies so my various dysfunctions don’t completely ruin my life all the time, and sure I haven’t been fired because of things I can confidently blame on ADHD but that doesn’t mean it isn’t negatively affecting my life, and it’s not like she actually said “nah you’re making this up, fuck off” or anything, she said I meet the criteria and she wrote me a fucking prescription for Adderall, but if she thinks it’s a relatively minor case and a lot of the things I struggle with sound normal to her, then maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing and I need to just suck it up and be better somehow, and maybe medication isn’t even going to help because there’s nothing that wrong in the first place except for me being a fuckup—

and around and around it goes. it’s...I mean, again, it’s probably not really a huge deal. I have another appointment with her for medication management, and I have the prescription, and I have more appointments with the therapist who did seem to take it more seriously. and this one did say I meet the criteria. but honestly the way my brain has been chewing on this for the last few hours is...well, probably indicative of something.

oh, you know what else was funny actually, she also informed me that if I was prescribed Adderall in grad school then I had to have been formally diagnosed, because otherwise it absolutely couldn’t have been prescribed to me. and I guess when the original dose didn’t seem to do much for me I just...stopped taking it and didn’t go back for more, and we didn’t really revisit the issue, and the records probably didn’t get transferred to my next counselor because I guess it never occurred to anybody to ask, and she eventually thought maybe I’m on the autism spectrum because I said I don’t like eye contact but ADHD didn’t occur to her either, and I just. fucking forgot? that I was formally diagnosed with ADHD probably an entire decade ago? so over the past 2-3 years as I’ve become increasingly convinced that ADHD hellbrain causes a lot of my problems, I was coming to it as brand new information because I literally fucking forgot that I had already been diagnosed? like...fuck, man, I’m no expert but that seems like kind of a weird memory thing too! which she definitely knew about because I was surprised when she told me I had to have been diagnosed! so I mean! if we’re talking about a disorder that involves memory issues, forgetting about an entire diagnosis because it wasn’t right in front of my face seems like pretty fucking good evidence that I have memory issues!

[flightfoot]

2/2 Poseidon outright apologised to Percy for giving him heroes fate. Not all gods were oblivious to how much heroes suffer. Not every god gave them quests for trivial matters, Their existance is necessary, since gods can't do some things, but not everyone averted their eyes from it. Do you think Apollo will realise, that he was one of the worse gods in that regard, and not everybody thought the way he did? That some of the Olympians faced the reality head on, and he was just fooling himself?

It’s true that not all the Olympians averted their eyes from it. Poseidon, Hermes, and most of all, his own twin, Artemis, all seemed to fully realize how tough being a demigod is and how much mortal lives are worth. Artemis willingly took the weight of the world from Annabeth, a girl she’d never met before, knowing it was a trap, so that she could save her! She TRIED to refuse giving the Earth over to Percy, believing that the weight would kill him. And she properly expressed her thanks at them rescuing her, absolutely REFUSING to allow Percy and Thalia be incinerated! I imagine that as horrified as she is at all the pain and suffering Apollo and his friends have been through, she’s glad that he’s AT LEAST now acknowledging to himself, and to everyone else, how much mortals are worth.

I dunno about Apollo being one of the WORST Olympians on that front. He’s worse than Poseidon, Hermes, and Artemis, certainly. But I’d say he’s better than Ares, Aphrodite, and Dionysus (especially as Bacchus). Ares is just kinda a jerk, and can be pretty scary to hang out with. This one sentence in The Last Olympian, where Ares is greeting Clarisse, makes me wonder…

She looked pretty overwhelmed. All she could do was nod and blink, like she was afraid he’d start hitting her, but eventually she began to smile. (343)

I do wonder if he’s yelled and hit her in the past. He seems to really want his children to EARN his help. Also, there was that time he cursed Percy in Titan’s Curse, just because he was still pissy about Percy beating him, fair and square.

Aphrodite just doesn’t seem to care for individual people much. She helped Percy out in Titan’s Curse, but that seemed to be because she loved watching his love story. She was fine with leaving Artemis to rot, and she really wanted to make Percy’s love life more “interesting”. It’s kinda hinted that she’s behind the love triangle that develops between Percy, Annabeth, and Rachel. She also was hinted to be behind the whole love triangle Annabeth was in, with Luke and Percy (that one was always weird). She really just seems to regard mortals -and probably immortals too, given Apollo’s track record - as interesting stories. She accidentally slips up and says as much to Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper in Mark of Athena.

“Well, I can’t take credit for all your troubles,” the goddess said. “But I do love twists and turns in a love story. Oh, all of you are such excellent stories - I mean, girls. You do me proud!” (234)

I think she’s actually the worst one at not treating demigods like actual people. Heck, I dunno if she treats ANYONE like an actual person, except for maybe Ares. 

Dionysus is a massive jerk, but he does help demigods occasionally when he doesn’t have to, like when he drove Dr. Thorn’s minions mad in Titan’s Curse, cures Chris in the Battle of the Labyrinth, and asks after the welfare of his remaining demigod son, Pollux. That being said, that’s AFTER he’s been Camp director for several years at least, and has had to interact with them on a daily basis. He still likes to PRETEND he doesn’t care, at least. And if Bacchus is anything to go by, before being forced into close proximity with demigods for extended periods of time, he really didn’t regard them as people worth helping. Which is especially bad for him, since he WAS a demigod! He should know better!

Athena seems to know and care about the plight of demigods, and she’s especially protective of her own children. 

Can’t judge Demeter, she doesn’t really have characterization beyond “cereal”.

Hestia loves and cares about everyone. She doesn’t really do much directly, though.

Hera is pretty pragmatic about demigods. She helps out Percy and Annabeth in Battle of the Labyrinth because she knows they’ll be needed, not because she cars about them on any personal level, and she wanted to abandon Nico. She lets Percy wander around aimlessly for months while being pursued by gorgons before she FINALLY decides to lead him to Camp Jupiter. The only demigod she cares about on any personal level seems to be Jason, and even that’s REALLY messed up, since she seems to consider him to be her property. No surprise with Hera, though, she’s kinda known for being a jerk, ESPECIALLY to everyone even tangentially related to her husband’s affairs.

Hephaestus just seems kinda awkward around demigods. He does the sort of casual-threatening thing that the gods tend to do, but he’s nice enough, and he doesn’t take offense very easily. He actually seems to have a fairly similar level caring that Apollo does, where he at least TRIES to keep an eye on all his children. He’s just more awkward with people than Apollo is. A LOT more awkward. Honestly, I think he might be on the autism spectrum. It would certainly fit with his social awkwardness and need to stim. Anyways, I guess he might not necessarily not acknowledge mortals’ value, he just doesn’t know how to interact with them in general.

Hades… I think he recognizes mortals’ worth. He certainly cares for his kids. But he’s not above threatening them with annihilation if he’s ESPECIALLY pissed. And he’s a pretty big jerk to Percy, though that might be more him just wanting to vent his frustration with his siblings at someone.

Then there’s Zeus, who seems to be the main one keeping the gods from helping more often. Heck, he didn’t want Apollo helping Percy and co. to rescue Artemis, even though that WAS godly business. He attempts to annihilate the Di Angelo family, and everyone in that hotel with them. He COULD’VE just made Bianca and Nico immortal to stop them from reaching sixteen, but noooooo. He chose the MURDER option. He keeps on threatening to knock Percy out of the sky for flying, even though Poseidon doesn’t threaten anything similar with Thalia. Zeus is also the one who closed Olympus, reasoning that:

“Gods were to be respected. Our children were to be seen and not visited.” (TLH 331).

Plus, he acknowledged Jason as his son, and told him how proud he was of him, but was then ready to blast him to pieces minutes later for DARING to question him, as politely as possible. No other godly parents have been shown to be so touchy, so quick to turn on the dime from respecting and acknowledging their children, to being ready to kill them. 

So basically, some of the Olympians truly seemed to understand demigod’s plight and try to help, not avert their eyes. But a lot of them were way worse than Apollo. At least Apollo loves and cares for his children, tries to protect them, and doesn’t make them jump through hoops in order to earn a smidgen of love an approval. As for Apollo realizing that… I think he’ll realize why Artemis acts like she does, why she was SO insistent on rewarding Thalia and Percy, not blasting them, why she takes in strays so often. Apollo’s doing the same thing now.

Honestly, I think that TOA isn’t JUST a redemption story for Apollo - I think he’s being used as a proxy for the gods in general, to test whether THEY can change, and are worthy of surviving. He’s the best candidate I think, since he’s neither the best nor the worst of them, in acknowledging mortals’ worth. Plus, Hermes states in The Last Olympian that 

“maybe for awhile things will get better. But we gods have never been good at keeping oaths. You were born because of a broken promise, eh? Eventually we’ll become forgetful. We always do.” (358).

Except that Apollo doesn’t. He never forgets the people he cares about. He might not be the best at keeping oaths, but when it’s a promise he actually cares about on a deep personal level, and not simply one borne of frustration, he certainly tries his utmost to keep them. He will NEVER forget the promise he made to Jason. I honestly don’t think that even getting amnesia would erase it, kinda like amnesia wasn’t enough to erase Percy’s memories of Annabeth completely. He’s the best candidate for ensuring that the gods don’t slip back into their old ways. I’m kinda hoping that final prophecy, the one that contains the line “the fall of the sun; the final verse” is going to have some choice in it that relies on Apollo’s character growth being the determining factor in whether the gods have a happy ending.

[cyanidekissesxoxo]

Personal connection to HFA paper... Call it the beginning of self-exploration?

I’m writing a personal connection paper to a study on High-Functioning Autism/Aspergers (which is a term I learned recently I guess is not as favored any more, but it’s been used - was the term I grew up with as far as other family members - and has identifiable traits that people not highly versed can identify with, so get over it.) I'd say do it.

My family is prone to HFA and ASD.. It has been suggested by family members over the years that I'm Asperger/HFA, but my dad & grandmother never pushed to test (my Dad is also most likely undiagnosed Aspergers/HFA), and I felt growing up that my aunt's coddlement of my cousin and his disabilities allowed him to use his disabilities as a sort of crutch through life, where he may have worked with them a little better otherwise, so I took the route of solidly denying any disability chance, and just told myself it was just personal shortcoming -- I needed to make extra effort to be organized, to be on task, etc.

In a way, I don't regret the path I took - I own and run a dog rescue at 26 that I did all the legal paperwork and filing on, I work 28 hours a week as a trainer, and people constantly compliment me on how motivated and put together I am... however, there's also major issues in my life that I'm working through and have led me to explore the ASDs a little more personally at this point:

- I have a horrible sense of organization. I gravitate towards the neatness of everything in places, boxes, etc.. but maintaining organization is horrible... in about a week, my car/room will go from spotless to like a homeless hurricane hit... I'm getting better about setting myself on a strict path of putting things back in their exact place as soon as I use them, and I do find myself thinking about it more, but still, I battle with chaos and disorder... paperwork seems to jumble itself, etc... Then I become stressed and non-functioning (or functioning out of necessity but not necessarily doing well), and this cycle repeats and repeats. As a child, I was a tornado too, but because there was no attempt to diagnose an illness (by 8th grade I was in IEP for being Emotionally Disturbed - a result of bringing part of my beloved knife collection to school which a friend used to cut herself after "borrowing" one, and I believe ADHD at that time as well, which I'll get into more late), so my messiness was seen as defiance, and punished.

- ADHD or HFA? & Substance abuse issues: In about 10th grade, I was put on Vyvanse for ADHD. I'd already been convinced to try meth by girls in the neighborhood I'd known since I was little, and it got out of control because the main benefit I saw was I WAS FINALLY GETTING THAT MATH HOMEWORK I WAS BEHIND ON DONE!!... well, Vyvanse made me get schoolwork done too, but in a jittery, hyper-focused way that reminded me too much of methamphetamine, so I used it on and off for school for maybe a school year, but it did not answer my problems long term, and was not enjoyable. If HFA is a contributer for these issues, it is possible that being diagnosed properly and treated in a different way would not have more beneficial effect than Vyvanse, and it's also possible that with proper support and help, I may not have chose/continued to use meth to try to catch up on math, because I could have had plans in place in school, and better management at home, to not get as behind as I did in the first place.

- (Un)Comfortable Conversation/Specialized Interests: Between the fallout from separating from a group of drug related people from above, conflict with my family from childhood on (my grandmother thought I was insolent and "taunting" her when I would SHRIEK in fear as a child of punishment, among other conflicts), and never really fitting in at school from a young age, and losing friends rapidly and telling my grandmother at home, who would wonder out loud, "How do you go through friends so fast? Are you doing something? Picking wrong friends?"... so from 3rd grade on, the self-belief that I was difficult to make friends with, I was different, and that my friendships weren't that strong because I couldn't relate to them in similar ways began to grow & got stronger over the years, and now as an adult, I go into almost panic attacks about new social situations sometimes, and it takes me a LONG time to trust, get close to new people, and they often consider me a friend before I've reached that comfort zone... not because I'm antisocial -- I can remember one of my earliest childhood grievances being: "I just want to be everyone's friend! I want everyone to like me!!!", but because I'm terrified, awkward, feel like a burden or sore thumb sometimes, and feel that I either talk waaaaay too much, or I can't make small talk like normal people do (what do you say? "Hey, so, beautiful weather we're having today!" sounds staged. Even if it didn't, what do I say after that? How do I keep the conversation going??!)...

Social Impact: If I had been diagnosed with HFA as a child by a medical professional (assuming I am), I could have possibly had action plans, exercises in developing social skills, being interested in a wider set of topics people want to talk about, not being SO excited to predict what someone's going to say and finishing their sentence, or slowly down with my eagerness to reply once I get talking. I could have grown up with less of the belief that it was something I was doing, that I pushed people away after a while or that I wasn't as good as their other friends --- in actuality, I had a lot of problem behavior as a child as you can see, and I gravitated to problem people throughout my life (in grade school, I have no answer for, other than moving from very diverse Anaheim to Temecula which was still pretty small, I was a culture shock in addition to all my oddities... but in the end of middle school up through high school, I hung out with kids who drank, smoked, and honestly burned through other people too, so this is a partial answer... but again, what behavioral and environmental aspects may have caused me to gravitate towards that type?..)

Adult impact: My biggest problem has come later in life. Throughout high school, I hung out with bad kids, like I said... I did great meeting new people, because I had a very comfortable approach of "Hi, I'm Mariah, let's get drunk and make bad decisions", and substance abuse was my crutch that allowed me to socialize, plus conversation is pretty easy and unjudged when everyone is drunk. However, turning 19 and getting away from those kind of people steadily til 23 left me realizing: I don't drink anymore.. NOW how do I talk to people?! This point was where I retreated a lot into the solace of my dogs, as I've done throughout my childhood, and the training/dog rescue/veterinary school aspiration began to take place. I am now 26 with all of this great stuff going on, but A) dogs are now my comfort zone. I'll talk your ear off about that with no social anxiety. If we're not talking about dogs, I'm still probably really uncomfortable and unable to casually maintain conversation as well. B) Dog rescue & training has become my therapy from my social awkwardnesses, and I push myself HARD to achieve for a continuous sense of self-satisfaction (which is generally pretty short-lived on my end: off to the next mountain to climb! And the next!)... I am now stressed, irritable, and experience panic attacks probably once a week. But also, because there is not much of a social group (I have accumulated a small but very important, intellectual, successful group, many who are working through very similar issues with themselves aside from organization), I have more time to overwork myself, when other people are out going to movies, doing random things, etc... So if I had more focus on developing and maintaining social confidence, that is possibly less grief I could have gone through.

For my family, and if I get the diagnosis when I see a medical provider, HFA is not a horrible diagnosis (I know I'm talking about all the negatives above) -- my family is phenomenally more intellectual than anyone I know, the creativity abounds in individual ways, and the original ideas and approaches to things that I have amaze people -- I've always just thought of things in different terms and solutions than other people, and was surprised when they commented on it --- "Why WOULDN'T you think of that?!"...

I think my fear of the stigma and label was the worst thing. "What if people don't like me? What if they think I'm crazy or stupid?"... well. A lot of people DIDN'T like me anyway, some without ever meeting me... that's not going to change, and it happens to typically developed people as well. I feel that instead, people disliked me anyway, but I ended up internalizing that and then being uncomfortable with myself, or not liking myself. Some people still think I'm stupid with or without a label, but talking to me, reading my writing, or looking at my test scores would disprove that in a second... And to keep a clean, put-together appearance over the years so people wouldn't think I was crazy... well, that turned into me instead wondering if I was crazy.

It's totally possible that I don't have any ASD, and that my issues are personal or from other places (childhood abuse, etc), I haven't been diagnosed or not officially yet - this group is the beginning of my exploration and path to being tested... but even if I'm not, if I had been tested, I wouldn't be here wondering.

I think finding out is your best option. No, your child doesn't? Well, then on with life as usual! But if they do, I genuinely feel the diagnosis and proper management, counseling, and building as an adult will help your child love themselves more, enjoy more out of life, and prepare better to be an adult.

Good luck!

[its-a-lark-blog]

The Death of Curiosity

This is largely going to be about why I still read children's stories.

It's soul-crushing to recognise that there's a strange estrangement between what can be done, and then what is done.

And there's a good probability that you won't understand what I'm saying when I say that. A child would, naturally, that's a given. For the vast majority of those who're proudly grown-up, though, I feel there's almost a perverse enjoyment in awareness lost.

Consider: That which CAN be done, and that which IS done.

Children ask "Why?" and adults, in their infinite frustration, rattle out the preprogrammed response of "That's just how it is." which is rather morbid, don't you think? When did your curiosity die? I ask this because I was equally blessed and cursed with never having known this loss. How did yours die? Can you remember the year it happened, the transition between expressing curiosity to smiply accepting that things are the way they are?

And most do this. In fact, you likely do it as well. You'll never ask "Why?" even in a world of infinite possibilities, you'll only respond with "That's the way it's always been." No matter how diverse, varied, vivid, and magical those possibilities are.

Isn't that strange?

I see this in writing all the time. Now, a writer might be able to weave together a fantastic world, full of complexity, of truly endless wonder and infinite possibilities. They'll take such an impossible, beautiful, strange thing and what will they do with this marvellous, impossible creation? They'll set a bunch of humans down in it and task them with killing a dragon.

"Why are the heroes doing this?" "Heroes are good." "Why?" "That's just the way it is."

"How do we know that the dragon did this?" "Dragons are bad." "Why?" "That's just the way it is."

"But couldn't th--" "No, no they couldn't." "Why?" "THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS."

I mean, when I look at a painting of four people bursting into a dragon's lair, I don't see what you see because I'm more inclined to ask questions. What my mind concocts is a scene of home invasion, where these are bandits and hoodlums intent to steal someone's belongings and likely murder them in the process out of some insidiously racist intent.

Then we'd have to bring in the constabulary! A detective would arrive on the scene to investigate; Likely a gnome with a number of gadgets as magical as they are technological to seek out the truth of what happened in this poor dragon's home. Outisde, a griffin psychotherapist is quietly, gently consoling the dragon's parents and promising that the criminals will be brought to justice.

They've got their top men on the job, top men! Giant eagles grasping strange contraptions are canvassing the scene; The odd devices they hold in their claws being aetherial trackers, linked to the spiritual imprints left behind by the aforementioned criminal scum. They're attempting to find and follow their 'soul echoes,' in order to get some kind of idea of the direction that these sordid, sociopathic monsters went.

And what you see is a bunch of heroes killing a dragon; Simply because the heroes are good, the dragon is bad, and that's just the way it is. Why? That's just the way it is. That's sad. That's really bloody deepressing. I can't know what that's like.

I mean, I've met people who're like that. I can see the effects of it, after all. If a person shifts some historical events around in order to fashion anachronisms, they think of that as brilliantly creative. Not realising, of course, that the complexity they're utilising is that of a well understood history as opposed to anything they've fashioned. It's really not that clever at all. I was never inspired by alternate histories; Unless they're the alternate history of an already imagined world (those are fun!).

That's where familiarity comes into it, though, hmmm? Familiarity and the love thereof replaces the curiosity of the child. When one's inner-child dies, the curiosity leaves this giant, gaping void behind. Something has to fill it. Nature abhors a void, so what rushes in to fill the gap is what one knows to be 'true' and 'factual.'

Of course, 'factual' is subjective to an erudite mind. A smart scientist knows that there are no facts, only probabilities, and there is no scientific truth, only scientific proof. We can only assume we know something within a degree of probability through our observations of its behaviour, if we repeat an experiment a great multitude of times and the results never change then the probablistic factor of this being how something works within our reality is increased. That factor never reaches 100 per cent, however, as we can never rule out all other variables.

However, many adults whose curiosity has died will truly believe they know, factually, the nature of reality. This is what leads to very unfortunate cases of bad science. I could cite many examples, but I'd rather go with an obvious one that can't be denied. The desire to cure autism comes from the assumption that autism is a disorder, because that's what it is. Even though people with autism strongly disagree and would prefer to not be 'cured.' The scientist in question would still follow a cure out of their belief that autism is a disorder because, yes, 'that's what it is.' Is it? Why? Are you sure? As I've pointed out, there are many with this so-called disored who'd fervantly disagree.

Bad science, you guys. Bad science. I'm bloody old and I've seen more bad science than you could shake a stick at. It's gotten very tiresome, to say the least.

Still, my point is that hte death of curiosity leads to bad science -- and there's a lot of bad science out there. However, the brightest minds we've ever had are those whose inner-child hasn't died, instead of accepting that things are whichever way they assumably are, the mind in question asks why? Why are they this way? Or, more accuratley, why do we believe they're this way?

I've met so many people whose curiosity has died.

This is true in the creative arts as well, as I mentioned. You have these brilliantly fantastic worlds filled with possibility where truly wondrous things CAN happen, but they don't, as the writer is only focused upon what they know -- the familiar -- and they write purely about what IS, rather than what CAN be, because they've lost that spark. Their inner-child has died and they no longer possess the capacity to ask why.

You believe that things are this way in the world, why? You believe that things are this way in a fantasy world, why? Your answers will probably be oppressively depressing to me, but hopefully I'm stirring something within you that's been dead for far too long. A spark of curiosity, the will to ask why. Why did yours die?

Terry Pratchett is a great example of a writer who looked at a fantasy world and asked why. Why? Why this? Why that? Why are they behaving this way? Why are they doing that? Why aren't they taking advantage of these advances in magic/technology? Why aren't they putting to use these social structures they've developed? With all the possibilities, why is this world all about people in small wooden huts worshipping wizards in their towers? How preposterously dull! How morbidly inane! How comically nonsensical!

It shows that there's a lack of dreaming. No questions. No dreams. Simply that things are the way they are.

Bugger that.

There's a reason why PTerry was so irascible. He wasn't the friendly old man that people believed he was. Oh no. He was no smiling Santa. He was irascible, tired, fed up, and angry. He was also kind. As I approach his age, I begin to understand why as I face his challenges being a person who can ask why in a world that never, ever does.

I wouldn't be surprised if PTerry wrote Discworld out of catharsis to simply show everyone else what you could do in a world that did embrace what you CAN do with all of that potential, rather than simply writing a cloyingly familiar story about how it IS. So, so many writers fall into this pit-trap, whether fantasy or sci-fi, opting to present people with what they know instead of having the insurmountable gall needed to ask why.

And the readers, they're not as bad, they're worse! They reinforce this by clucking with offence should a writer even deign to dare to conceive the question. Yesterday it would've lead to a flurry fo angry letters, today it would result in aonther Twitter war. Why is it htis way? For most people, curiosity has died. Curiosity is only for children. Only a child is allowed to ask why.

I guess I'm a child, I suppose. I take pride in that. As much pride in the perverse pride people have in having offed their inner-child. What I can tell you is that it's lovely being able to dream, which is something that a person sans curiosity can never do. In a vividly colourful whirlwind of imaignation I can conceive worlds which aren't likely anything you've ever known or will.

Honestly, I think most people need to do DMT a few times in their lifetime. By law. Just to reawaken their curiosity and wonder.

So many problems today are caused by people being unable to ask why. And our entertainment industry is in a sorry state as it's staffed by people who never ask why fashioning the most drearily drab creations for audiences that anger at the very suggestion of why. Why did you let your curiosity die?

Curiosity isn't just for children, it's for everyone! It's a fact of life! How did this happen that we've been programmatically murdering inner-children to transmogrify our peoples from one of dreamers, philosophers, and imagineers to sleepwalking, drooling zombies who enjoy nothing more than modern day settings filled with zombies (that they can so easily relate to)?

Why? I'm asking why! Isn't that so very offensive of me? Why?

Why did you stop asking why?

This is why, for the most part, I still read tomes aimed at children over adults as they're written by people who can -- blessed be they -- ask why, for an audience which loves to ask why.

I'm currently reading the Farloft Chronicles and I'm finding it far, far more compelling than I ever did Game of Thrones. Is that insulting to you? Why?

Yes, there are adult examples out there that I could turn to but they're so rare that they're the exception that proves the rule. I've read everything by Terry Pratchett, I've recently enjoyed Out There: Chronicles (now that's a game that loves to ask why, it spent two episodes doing just that and I adored it) as well, but these are few and far between. For the most part it's all like Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and other works so drowned in the ichorous juices of verisimilitude I simply can't stand to read them.

Adult fantasy and sci-fi, for the most part, no longer brings me joy. I'd rather watch Voltron. There are more scientific questions asked in Voltron than in any of the dryest sci-fi I've read. And I've read some fairly dry, dusty sci-fi in my time... Unfortunately.

Voltron asks: Aren't windows in space silly? Don't they add lots of extra weight for transparent materials? What purpose do they serve in space where there's so little to see? Wouldn't they just increase the vulnerability and structural weaknesses of a craft in such a potentially hostile environment?

And so the Voltron lions and the Castle of Lions don't have windows. Their ground speeders DO have windows, though, which shows me that someone actually thought to ask why. Whmever did? THANK YOU. I've been asking that question for years.

Seriously. Windows in space. Why?

"That's just the way it i--"

Well, the way it is is insufferably asinine! Bloody stupid!

You have much better tools available to you in sci-fi than windows, use them! You could have a factory on board that produces swarms of femtotech camerabots that surround the ship and provide a 360 degree view of everything around the pilot! If some of thsoe are knocked out? The on-board factory simply produces more. And so the pilot has a complete view of everything around them and can enjoy a holographic display of everything with extra scanning doodads and the ability to zoom in!

In fact, why do pilots still look so human? In the future, we'd have the capacity to modify our bodies. Surely there are forms which are much better suited to space than the human body, so why don't we use these genetic and technological sciences to provide ourselves with better bodies? I'd even go so far as to ask: In the future, where AI is prevalent, why don't we simply dump our brain into a ship body and work with AIs and other brains to run the ship?

Who needs bodies???

Your body could be the ship! You could perceive reality as you've never done before! It would be incredible! No? Why? Honestly, why the hell not???

How irredeemably dull to deny the possibilities! I see it as a crime to not even consider what could be done, it's a cardinal sin to not use your curiosity to question what might be done with such grand tools made available to us. And yet, most don't. It's just jet fighters in space because that's just hoooow it is.

Good grief I'm sick and tired of adults.

Consider the regressive nature of TV 'toons like Teen Titans Go, how they've gone back to the comedy and simplistic animations of the '80s instead of embracing the more complex themes and interesting questions of 'toons from the '90s and early '00s. Why? I think it comes from a point of adults believing that children are just as bereft of curiosity and imagination as they are.

A flawed perception, if you ask me.

I remember some cartoons that were actually brave enough to present children with questions, they're always my favourites.

Extreme Ghostbusters tackled some interesting questions about what life is like for a hispanic person who could never afford proper education, a disabled jock who's been confined to a wheelchair, a lady who's a part of the goth subculture (and the reasosn for it), and a middle-to-upper-class black fellah. It looked at the kinds of issues these people would face and how those issues may even intermingle.

There was one brilliant episode where it turned out that a few of the friends the jock had were accepting of his disability, though they were tremendously racist. This kind of nuance between prejudices hasn't been tackled by contemporary comedic cartoons, which makes me sad.

Those cartoons asked uncomfortable questions about why people are the way they are, so children could also wonder and perhaps make better, more informed choices.

Teen Titans Go supposedly has diverse characters but it never does anything with that beyond using their diversity as a joke. Which is... disappointing, to say the least, but also so very, very typical. That's just the way things are, eh? Sigh.

So moving forward in time doesn't always lead to the kind of progression I'd find desirable, sometimes we encounter regressions when people fall back even hard on 'that's how things are,' or even worse 'that's how things were.' And never ask why.

Adults are tiresome creatures.

I'm not sure how, despite my many years, I never really became one. I've too much imagination to become a sleepwalking zombie who loves shows about sleepwalking zombies, I suppose. And that's going to make me sound like a 'special snowflake.' Funny thing is? I absolutely am. I've had to come to accept that I am, indeed, quite unusual. The thing is, though? This is true of everyone out there who still possesses curiosity.

I find that if one doesn't experience the death of curiosity, then one invariably becomes quite eccentric. Eccentric people are different, and obviously less 'usual' than someone who isn't. And they aren't eccentric because they choose to be, but simply because their curiosity never died.

At this point, I've come to see the 'special snowflake' complaint as one rooted in jealousy of curiosity. It always comes from the mouth of a person who can no longer ask why, who can only accept what they believe are the way things are. They're tremendously hateful of anyone who isn't dead inside like they are.

It's not my fault, though. I don't understand. If your curiosity died and mine didn't, I don't know why. I don't know what to tell you. It's not like I have a choice about being a 'special snowflake,' I'm simply curious and therefore eccentric. That's just who I am. I'm sorry that that bothers you. And believe me, I've met plenty of people whom that bothers. Whenever I've written a review praising genuinely creative works I've come to love I've met these people.

Thing is, though? There's no shame in being a 'special snowflake.'

It's just shorthand for how you aren't dead inside, how you're still able to ask why, and to wonder, and dream. I don't think that's at all a bad thing, myself. Your mileage may vary, I suppose, but I value it, I love it, and I couldn't go on without it. It's as integral to me as breathing.

I could no sooner stop dreaming than breathing.

[moonshroooms]

Hey, let’s talk about the awesome kids I have as neighbors :D

So there are a few kids in my building who like to come over and play video games. Them, along with my friend/their older brother Tay, all roast each other and play video games on the weekends (though it has been sans Tay, since he’s off in the army for a while ; w ;). The kids still come over on occasion regardless. I tend to refer to them as “my kids,” to my friends. Most of these kids are siblings, except for two, who aren’t related to the other like, 5 or so, but are cousins to each other.

First up is

Nyla: She’s a cute little, six or so?, year old. For her age, she’s pretty good a smash bros, though obviously she’s not great, cuz she’s only six. She doesn’t come around as often anymore (mostly because I grew very tired of essentially babysitting. Smash isn’t quite as fun when one of your opponents has a hard time getting back on stage, and interrupts the FITE you’re trying to have with someone else, as well as getting pouty and crying when she loses a lot. Not fun at all). When she is here and plays though, we have realized she is not good enough to be an opponent (obviously), but dangerous enough to not be ignored (Little Mac is her favorite and that sucker hits hard). We call her the Stage Hazard.

 Next we have Young, about 10 or 11 or something like that. Young’s kind of a spazzy kid. And I feel like I might be making bad assumptions or something, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was autistic or something of that nature (keeping in mind that I don’t know, and it certainly doesn’t make a difference to me if he is, just something I’ve thought might be possible). I also have no idea what signs of autism are, nor do I know any common behaviors beyond the extremely stereotyped “bad social skills, likes trains” stereotype (which I’m sure is an incredibly over-generalization).

His social skills aren’t fantastic and he just kinda says random things sometimes? He’s a good kid though, but he’s certainly not good at playing nice with the other kids, y’know? But then, the other kids are also not very nice to him either (it’s kind of a back and forth thing. They’d be nicer if he was nicer, but he’s not, so then they’re meaner to him, and then he’s meaner back and just endless circle of boo). If he’s over by himself he’s perfectly content just playing Super Mario Bros. for wii (his favorite one. He always restarts it for some reason every time he picks it up again), and talking to himself. He gets real salty real fast is smash though, and him and his brother usually slap each other at least once when they’re playing smash. If he’s getting pouty it’s pretty easy to cheer him up by making him laugh (usually by way of threatening to tickle him). His other favorite game to play is Life is Strange, which obviously isn’t really the most appropriate game for a kid, but I didn’t feel like it was bad enough to say no. He really likes it, and it was interesting to sit and watch him think about what decisions to choose and why. He was pretty introspective with it tbh. He choose to have Chloe and Max kiss, and then acted like it was so scandalous, but he didn’t rewind and change it at all XD

At first I was 100% sure he only ever came over to play video games, but I have learned that he does indeed like me and think I’m nice. (At some point he made a grand exit to go play with some of his friends and he stopped at the door, turned to us and pointed at each one going “you suck, you suck, you suck,” *points at me* “you’re cool,” *points at last kid* “and you really suck, PEACE.” And just left XD Then again, one time he did promise me he’d beat me in smash over and over again so much that I’d get really mad and cry about it (to which I told him “kiddo, if you get good enough at smash that I lose multiple times in a row I will be the happiest person and super proud of you”). He seemed a bit confused and sad that I wasn’t gonna be salty about it XD One time his family went to Chuck-E-Cheese and he brought me back vampire teeth, like what a sweetheart?? I mean, they were too small for my adult teeth but I appreciate that he spent some tickets on me. Young’s favorite Smash characters are Cloud, Captain Falcon, and Ike (sometimes he picks up Little Mac).

 Next up is Leeniel (or LeeLee, as we call him. Also I have no idea how to spell his actual name): I think he’s maybe 12 or so? Lee’s actually not around very much. When he is here he’s usually quiet (though he does talk during the match and all that. We all gotta trash talk in this group). He likes to draw (in fact, for my birthday last month he drew me a very adorable picture of Toon Link, one of my smash mains. Like how sweet and awesome are my kids? I love them). I can’t really say much about Lee, other than he’s pretty cocky about his Smash Bros. skills (he’s better than Young, but still not better than Trell, who I’ll talk about in a bit). Lee’s favorite fighters are Link, Cloud, and Little Mac.

 Neeeext up is Solomon (or Solo, as we call him): Solo is a 16-year-old giraffe. Like I mean it, he’s fricking huge. He has to bend down to get through my doorway. I think he’s somewhere past 6”5, I believe? I don’t even know man. I do know that the best thing is when he comes by to visit after being gone a long while, he always picks me up. Being 5”2 and suddenly being hoisted way past your own height is great. Solomon is energetic, loud, funny, and a little immature. I know for a fact that he’s autistic, as his mother has randomly mentioned it to me (she was lamenting that it was hard for him to have friends his age, since he tends to be less mature than them). Solo doesn’t come around much, as he’s often living with his dad, and it seems he’s lost a lot of interest in smash. He’s tried to get me to buy Pokken Tournament, but like, I played it and it’s pretty meh? It’s okay, I just like Smash better (probably cuz I already put in the work for that one and I’m pretty good at it. I ain’t wanna start at ground zero again). I worry that if I buy it the other kids won’t play it with me as much (though they are children, if we’re being honest: if you build it, they will come, if I buy it, they will play lol). Solo I know for a fact hates Undertale, though he hasn’t played it for himself. It’s just the Undertale explosion he hates I figure, so sad, cuz it really is a great game that should be at least tried out once. He did surprise me by spotting my Journey game was like “muthafucker that game is beautiful.” XD So he’s got a short attention span and is pretty immature, but loves Journey. It’s fantastic honestly. Solo was actually the person who inspired me and Trell to get really good at the game, cuz we were on top until Solo came along and we realized “wait we actually have no idea how the FAKC to play this game.” I can proudly say I am now smash queen and Trell and Solo are about par with each other. Solo’s favorite characters are Little Mac and Samus (but mostly Little Mac).

 Next is Charni (Shar-nay), who I love and call her my Protégé. I think she’s around Young’s age, maybe a couple months older. I first met her when I was at Solomon’s house (another kid I’ll bring up in a sec). She’s his little cousin, I believe, and she was kinda shy and bored. I plopped down next to her and started showing her how to play Smash so she could play with us. She had quite the steep learning curve since none of the other kids would go easy on her for being new, but I made sure to praise her when she got a good hit, and show her what to do so she wouldn’t get discouraged. I’m proud to say she quickly adored smash and is a regular part of our game weekends when she’s in town :D She’s at about an equal level with Young (not surprising, since they’re the same age), though she tends to play a bit smarter than he does and is less predictable.

I made it my mission to try and make sure she ended up liking nerd things, and I’m happy to say it ended up that she did XD She’s reading some Legend of Zelda manga last time I saw her, and she knows a little about Undertale from some fan things, though she’s never actually played the game? I tried to get her to play it, but she got bored, so meh. She likes Steven Universe and Gravity Falls too! I let her wear my Dipper hat whenever she sees it. Sometimes I’ll come home from work or school and she’ll just be there, chillin’ with my mom and watching an old black and white movie. I’ll usually have to put my foot down like “hell naw it’s a weekday I ain’t dealing with you snots come back Friday.” It’s pretty obvious she looks up to me a lot, and gets really happy when I praise her. Sometimes the boys pick on her (like saying she’s fat in a derogatory manor or saying she sucks at the game. She’s not fantastic at Smash obviously, she’s still just a kid, but she’s certainly not as bad as they make her seem. And she’s not fat at all really? She’s not basically bones like I am, but she doesn’t look like she has serious weight on her? She’s like, 120lb or something and quite a few inches taller than me. Not ThaT theRE’S a pROoBlem if shE WaSS, just she’s really not fat, and I don’t like the other kids to be using the word fat in a derogatory manner. Body shaming is not okay in my house).

I love her hair to, it’s fantastic. I believe she’s black and Hawaiian, and my god that Polynesian wavy hair is so fantastic I wish it was mine. I’ve gotten her to play Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey, and Phantom Hourglass (not that it took much convincing, lol), and she’s pretty good at them honestly! :D Sometimes she doesn’t want to play games though and she’ll just plop next to me while I’m on my computer and read funny Tumblr posts or webcomics with me, she’s adorbs. She’s a tough cookie, and she can get salty about Smash sometimes, but she’s usually a pretty good sport. Sometimes when it’s just us practicing, she’ll tell me to go at her 100%, and then quickly start yelling for me to stop when I do XD. For my birthday she made like, typography of Link’s name and colored it. So sweet. Her favorite fighters are Corrin, Dark Pit, and recently her brawler Mii that she made.

 Next up is my favorite child (but don’t tell the others) Latrell (or just Trell): Trell’s a fantastic kid honestly. I think he’s like, 13/14 or so? I always say he’s 12 though, just cuz it ticks him off. Trell is easily my biggest rival in smash, as we’re just about at the same level (though I’m still reigning champ). He tells me that I’m a sore winner (I mean, I celebrate when I win, but it’s not like I jump up and dance and sing about what a loser everyone is. So that’s the salt talking ;3), but then he’s actually a sore winner/loser. If he loses enough time he’ll start trying to slap me or get pouty enough to need a break, and if he wins (or god forbid starts winning a few times in a row), he’ll start rubbing it in my face. And when I lose I tend to laugh and be like ‘dangnabit that suck, next time I got this’, but obviously losing starts to suck when some little twerp starts acting like he’s hot shit cuz he won the last 4 rounds and cuts you off with proclamations about what a loser you are – like, not even in a joking way either XD At some point I had to stop playing against him one day cuz he was getting really mean about me winning. Like, tone it down child we’re all friends here.

Most of the time he’s a great kid, though like most children he’ll have his moments. He likes to help me cook and bake and likes to sing. One of my favorite things is that I think he sort of came out to me last month or so, but in like the lamest way possible. Keeping in mind I knew he wasn’t straight (I figured he was either gay or bisexual, but I wasn’t sure), waaaaaaay long time ago. Like, I think before he knew kind of a thing? There were obvious stereotypical signs, but I don’t really like to assume, so I figured until I had confirmation that he did like boys or girls or both, I’d just use gender-neutral terms and stuff. He likes a lot of musicals, celebrity gossip, RuPal’s Drag Race, y’know the totally-not-stereotypical interests of gay culture – it’s really a miracle I picked up on it at all it was so subtle. He’d also made mention to several boys being cute, or that a few of his male classmates had a crush on him (or vice versa), so I knew he was interested in boys at least. Girls were yet to be seen (though I knew he’d had a girlfriend or something in the past, but I didn’t know if it was because he was interested in both, or if it was a ‘I didn’t know I was interested in boys, so I had a girlfriend’, kind of thing).

There was this one conversation that I still look back on and laugh. He was talking about his crush, and that he was worried about them cuz they were getting wisdom teeth pulled out and (since I work part time at an oral surgeon’s place), I just said “wisdom teeth? Oh he’ll be fine calm down.”

And he looks at me all mock-offended and goes “Did you just assume my crush’s gender??”

“That depends – was I right?”

“Listen that’s not the point here”

Anyways I official learned he was bisexual when he made me watch a movie called GBF (Gay Best Friend, which, I don’t know if this movie is revolutionary in the gay community or anything, but I’m sorry it’s an awful fucking movie. This kid gets forcefully outed by some app, and then the popular girls were all clamoring to get him to be their best friend, because a gay best friend was the hot new commodity they just had to have like he’s a new fricking purse for them to customize so they could win their petty popular girl war. And then there was like, a prom war/prom sabotage thing? Either way it’s a dumb-ass movie. Also waaaaaay too inappropriate for this 13/14 year old to have watched? Like, in one scene a Mormon dude in it was being all bi-curious and 100% starts trying to rub off our Main Character in a truck, and another scene of one of the popular girls is like dry humping one of the dude characters in a bed and like omg I wasn’t expecting it to get that inappropriate + my mom walked in right at the truck scene and I died inside. Like you are too young for this go watch some Duck Tales fool what are you doing).

Anyways, at the end of the movie he just goes “guess I already got you you’re GBF, haha lloloeeleolol :D ;D XDDD.”

And I just gave him this fed-up look like “did you just come out to me with the worst movie I’ve ever seen??? Even though I clearly already knew?????”

“Yes. Also it’s actually BBF.”

And I was just like “Trell you’re hilarious and everything, but if you ever show me a movie as bad as GBF ever again I will punch you in the throat.” And then I shoved him off the couch.

Since the GBF movie I swear he’s been making 10x more LBGT jokes. We have a tube of muscle relaxer or whatever called Bengay, and anytime he happens to see it he’ll pick it up and loudly announce “heh, yeah, I’ve been-gay before lelel” which usually ends up with my snatching the Bengay and launching it across the room.

And he’s like, 14, so I wouldn’t be surprised if his sexuality changed at all in the future, but for now at least he’s stated he’s bisexual. Either way, he’s the sweetest and funniest kid, and I do my best to know he’s more than accepted in my home.

Anyways, Trell is absolute incapable of playing single player games. I tried to get him to play Mario Odyssey and he got as far as pressing the jump button before he melted off the couch and complained that it was torture. He loves to challenge me to Pikmin, but won’t play the single player campaign (I got him to play like, halfway through the first level and that’s it). His favorite characters in smash are aaaaaall of them. He’s more of an all-arounder for the characters, and sometimes he’ll switch and have a new main for a while. Sometimes he’ll get butthurt about being beaten by Pikachu and Toon Link, cuz he says they were his mains first and he only stopped cuz I used them (which for some reason all the kids feel like they need to ask me to use Pikachu or Toon Link, and I have NO IDEA why. Like the fuck use whoever you want it’s a fricken game I don’t own them). The characters he goes back to most though are: Peach, Zero Suit Samus, and Villager (usually the girl skins).

And while he’s not child, why don’t I bring up the older bro Tay: Tay is really bad at smash but he keeps on trying and I’m proud of him XD His favorite characters are Samus and Ganondorf.

Aaaaand that’s all I wanted to say bye