#Pryor Bathrooms

[katatonicimpression]

Madelyne Pryor for the ask game

1: sexuality headcanon

She seems straight to me.

2: otp

I ship Maddie with self esteem.

Although (don't hate me), I actually find her and Alex very entertaining as a pair. It's a terrible idea, but a fun catastrophe. That said, I believe Dark Web ended with them basically dating now and that is not a good thing. Like, babes no you both need to work on your issues this isn't going to help.

3: brotp

Dani Moonstar. Actually, I'd be into that as a ship too, but uneasy allies to friends would be great. I want to see more of them together for sure.

4: notp

Also Alex. I contain multitudes.

Oh and idk if this fits the category bc no one likes it but all that Oedipus stuff with her and Nate. No thank you. Nate, please leave.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Being queen of limbo has a bunch of hidden perks that we never see that explain why she went back there. Maybe the bathrooms are really nice or something.

6: favorite line from this character

I can never remember exact quotes from comics, but I'll say the mannequin metaphor stuff from Uncanny X-Men #233. It's visually striking and heartbreaking.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

There is absolutely nothing relatable about Maddie's life, but her pain transcends that. She feels abandoned, unwanted and untethered. I feel that.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

That outfit.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Neither? Both? She's like if a cinnamon roll tried to kill a baby but we don't hold it against her

[wellnoe]

better off alone

[id: a digital drawing of scott summers and maddy pryor. they’re reclining in a bubble bath, kissing. they are both smiling. in the reflection of the bathroom’s dark tiles, mister sinister can be seen, grinning./end id]

[introvertguide]

Pulp Fiction (1994); AFI #94

The most recent movie for review was the Quentin Tarantino crime thriller comedy (probably more things) Pulp Fiction (1994). It is a very complicated story that is told out of chronological order and focuses on scenes of meaningful character interaction. This confusion meant it lost out to movies with a more straight forward time line at the Oscars, since the move was nominated for seven awards but only took home one. The single win for best screenplay was well deserved and I still believe it is one of the most creatively written films of all time. I want to go over the plot to show what I mean, but let me do my standard due diligence:

SPOILER WARNING!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE THE BASIC DETAILS OF ONE OF THE MOST COMPLEX STORY LINES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!! IT WILL NOT LIKELY SPOIL MUCH OF ANYTHING, BUT I AM STICKING THIS WARNING ON JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY FINDS SOMETHING!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The film begins with what is pretty much a prologue but what turns out to be about the middle of the film chronologically. A couple is at a diner and they are talking about robbing banks. They only refer to each other as Pumpkin (Tim Roth) and Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer). They discuss the best kind of places to rob and they decide that a diner would be a good change of pace. Impulsively, they pull out guns and hold up the diner and...title card with awesome spaghetti western music!

Two hitmen are talking about Europe as they go to do a job. Vincent Vega (Jon Travolta) talks about his adventures with Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) as they pull up at an Los Angeles apartment complex. The two discuss their boss Marsellus Wallace and how touchy he is about his wife. The boss has apparently sent them to get something from a bunch of guys. Jules and Vincent call on an apartment with 3 college age men and intimidate them into giving over a briefcase with something glowing inside. The case is what they came for, so the hitmen take it and kill two of the men at the apartment...

Flash to a new scene in which Vincent is going to get some drugs from his dealer (Eric Stoltz). Vincent is a heroine user despite cocaine being the popular drug. It turns out Vincent was asked by his boss to take out his wife...the one he is very protective of. He just needs to hang out with her so she is not bored and not get into trouble. To accomplish this, he shoots up some heroine and goes to meet the wife named Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman). They seem to get along and he drives her to a restaurant called Jack Rabbit Slims. The place is fantastic, all the waiters are dressed up like American movie icons and the booths are repurposed cars from the 50s (if this place actually existed, you can be sure I would search it out and go there at least once). The two bond over dinner and then volunteer for a twist dance contest.

Mia and Vincent go back to her house and Vincent goes to the restroom to talk himself out of trying to score with Mia. She is pretty cool, but not worth dying for. While he is away, Mia finds some heroine in the pocket of Vincent’s jacket and thinks it is cocaine. She snorts it and immediately starts to overdose. Vincent panics and decides to drive her to the dealer’s house. The dealer has a nurse kit that comes with a giant needle full of adrenaline which Vincent stabs her with. She wakes up and Vincent takes her back home and is glad that he will live another day...

We jump to a flashback of a young boy who is has lost his father in Vietnam. An officer is visiting that has a gift. Apparently, there is a family watch that belonged to the boys great grandfather and had been passed down through the generations. His father had it when he was captured and gave it to the officer before the father died in the POW camp. The officer escaped and found the boy to give him the watch...

A boxer named Butch (Bruce Willis) wakes up from a dream. He is the boy all grown up. He is about to throw a fight for Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames), the same boss that everyone is afraid of. Butch does not throw the fight and accidently kills the other boxer. It turns out that he bet on himself and now he needs to get out of town before Marsellus Wallace catches him. He goes to a hotel where his rather dumb girlfriend is waiting for him. They go to bed and then are about to leave the next morning when it turns out that she forgot his watch. Butch freaks out and goes back to their old apartment to get the watch (note the very long take following Bruce Willis as he takes a back way to get to the apartment). Vincent is there waiting for him, but Vincent is in the bathroom and Butch is able to get a gun and kill Vincent as he is coming out of the bathroom. Things seem good so Butch drives off...

As Butch drives home, he sees Marsellus crossing the street in front of him so Butch hits the gas and runs down the boss but also hits an oncoming car. Both men are injured but Marsellus gains his senses and chases Butch into a shop where both are captured by a weird redneck with a shotgun. Butch and Marsellus are tied up in the basement of the shop and a man named Zed shows up. The shop owner has a gimp in a box (all leathered up and everything) and other fetish things downstairs. After a quick game to pick who goes first, they take Marcellus into another room to rape him. Butch manages to escape and is running away...but he decides can’t leave somebody to be assaulted like that. He grabs a weapon from the shop and kills the shop owner and frees Marsellus from Zed. Marsellus is not happy and says he will go “medieval” on Zed and allows Butch to leave town. Butch collects his girlfriend and leaves immediately...

Flash back in time (we know this because Vincent is alive) to right after Vincent and Jules shoot the guys with the case. Another guy in the other room jumps out and unloads six rounds at the two and misses every shot. The hitman kill that man, but Jules is shaken and decides to give up the business. They take a fourth gut with them in the car to go back to see Marsellus. On the drive over, Vincent accidently shoots the passenger while going over a pothole. The inside of the car is absolutely covered in blood and brains, so the two have to find a safe house. They go to the home of Jimmie (Quentin Tarantino) who will help them but says they have to get out in a couple of hours before his wife gets home. They call Marsellus, who sends over a cleaner named Wolf (Harvey Keitel). They are able to get everything cleaned up in time and leave with the car and the body. Jules and Vincent have to change out of their bloody clothes and decide to take a cab out to a diner for some food before seeing Wallace.

The two are at a familiar looking diner discussing whether their survival was a miracle and whether Jules should quit. Vincent goes off to the bathroom and, while he is gone, Pumpkin and Honey Bunny from the beginning declare it a robbery and it is evident that we have circled in time back around to the beginning. The couple hold up the diner, but, when they get to Jules, he takes Pumpkin hostage and devises a plan for everybody to leave. Jules allows the couple to leave alive with all the wallets, then the two hitmen follow quickly behind them before any police can show up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I put a spoiler warning at the top, but there is so much to this film that there is no way you could spoil everything. I find new things to enjoy about this movie each time that I watch it and the watch count has to be at least two dozen times at this point. This film is so rich with allusion and homage to movies of the past that you might never see everything. Tarantino is truly a lover of old films and he worked every reference he could into this film. This is truly like candy for a cinephile. 

I have, however, had a love hate relationship with this movie: I love this movie and I hate it when people tell me it is too violent. There was a lot of negative response to the films toxic masculinity, romancing crime culture, incredible amount of swearing, drug use, extreme gun violence, and very adult themes. There is a very famous interview between Quentin Tarantino and Jan Wahl in which she accuses him of using excessive violence and he tells her it is because it is a lot of fun to watch. His stylistically gory violence stems from exploitation films of the past and there is an established audience that enjoys it. He makes his movies for himself and this group of people.

Kind of like the comedy of Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, and George Carlin, you have to wade through a sea of swearing to find the comedic banter. The things that Jules and Vincent say to each other are some of the funniest stuff I have ever heard, but you really have to pay attention. Their attempts to express their feelings while maintaining their hard exterior persona is ridiculous. This is probably why many people enjoy the scenes with Vincent and Mia: there is a lot more courtesy which reduces the tirade of cursing.

The violence is very very over the top, but it is no where near the level of gore that Tarantino has become known for over the years. I must admit that he likes his torture scenes and this film is no exception. I would like to note how clever the torture scene with Butch and Marsellus is because they are both tied up and facing camera so only the audience can see the mischief that is being prepared behind them. 

The soundtrack for the film is well worth mentioning as it also pays homage to 50s, 60s, and 70s exploitations films. There is a lot of silence in the film with sudden bursts of fast paced music that help with transitions. Most famous is the intro music after diner prologue, a surf rock classic by Dick Dale and The Del Tones called Misirlou. It is pure speed guitar riff along the lines of Wipeout and transitions the scene perfectly. Take a listen for yourself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIU0RMV_II8

Maybe the biggest thing about this film and Tarantino in general is the inspiration of the slick gangster dialogue. There had been a push for more melodramatic dialogue or the complete absence of much talking. Tarantino added in this slick, fast moving comedic dialogue that is said over extreme violence and adult situations. Marsellus Wallace talks about having some crack heads torture a man to death immediately after being raped in a basement. The hitmen talk about appropriate manners while cleaning out brains from the back of a car. Jules talks about the meaning of the bible during a robbery. Everything seems out of place in the real world but perfectly acceptable in Tarantino’s world. This is probably why I have no problem with the violence in the film.

So should this film be on the AFI top 100? Absolutely. It is an homage to film history while simultaneously introducing a sub genre that mixes current dialogue and exploitation touches to grindhouse action. It is fascinating and fun. Would I recommend this movie? If you are old enough. I can’t emphasize enough how fun I find this film, but I cannot deny that it is filled with adult situations like drug usage followed by driving, secret dungeon rape, and cold blooded murder with no consequences. If you can differentiate between Tarantino’s world and the real world, then this is great. If you can’t, then maybe try something else with slick dialogue like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

[oswanily]

Denny’s an A! Pryor too, but Jalen is a B, so...

I’ll move him with Haven’s kids In the Ward manor. He has the linguist trait.

Also, Rhona Mavis needs the bathroom.

Linguist:

These Sims are skilled in speaking and writing Simlish and they gain writing skill and child social skill fast. They become confident when writing.

[exceptone]

@fluminas : there’s noise from an infrequently-used bathroom in diasomnia, all the muffled sounds of someone very clearly attempting to pass unnoticed. the door opens to reveal barbara cross-legged on the floor, a pair of safety scissors in hand, chunks of her famous spun-gold hair scattered on the tile. small, as-yet-unopened bottles of hair dye line the sink. it’s nearly a week after her overblot, and she hasn’t been seen or heard from since.

“ hi, ” barbara says, because what else is there to add? she looks (in the nicest way possible) like utter shit, eyes sunken and blot clearly still in her system. she picks up the scissors again and unceremoniously saws a chunk near her face off to her shoulders.

She remembers, most of all, how it had SOUNDED.  Piper’s hair had been long long long for as long as she could remember, and any trimming was done around the ends and far from where she could really hear it.  But then at the end Pryor tied that long long hair into a ponytail and cut it off and she could hear / or thought she could / every single thread snapping.  It had felt good — so good — and so human and whole.  She’d bawled her goddamn eyes out.

The second thing she remembers is how long it took Mom and Dad to notice, to see her.  Her hair trailed behind her on the floor when it wasn’t triple - braided and they didn’t notice for days after it went so short that it didn’t even pass her chin.  They never looked at her.  And so while Piper feels like they’ve walked in on something sacred, something they’re not mean to be privy to, they don’t look away.  They see her.

People have been NOT SEEING BARBARA for a long, long time.  Piper understands.  She’s learning that she wants to.

“Hi,” Piper replies, voice careful and trembling and so fucking relieved.  When they couldn’t find her — she and the prefect and Deuce and so many others had been frantic with fear, but she’s here now, she’s okay, she’s making herself unbeautiful to be Barbara instead and Piper swallows thickly and almost cries.  It feels like looking in a mirror, and not the kind she wants to shatter.

STARS ARE BEAUTIFUL BUT THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING / THEN I’LL BE UGLY INSTEAD.

“Here,” Piper says, closing the distance and kneeling beside her.  “You’re missing chunks at the back of your head.  I’ll get it for you.”  And it’ll be choppy and uneven and bad and it’ll be you.  And it’ll be you.  Piper’s so happy for her.  Her hand holds out for the scissors and after a beat Barbara gives them over, and Piper smiles and breathes and cries and goes to work.

[velvetloss]

okay but condo prices are lowkey down in atl rn ,,,

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/502-Pryor-St-SW-325-Atlanta-GA-30312/82613696_zpid/

[mindwideopen]

Disclaimer: anyone embarrassed of my cleavage, please bypass this post. Thank you. (Again, repeat this disclaimer out loud, and say it like Steve Martin being his insane yet loving character “ruprecht” in “dirty rotten scoundrels”)

Faux Monty python auditions:

Disclaimer 2: NOT based in reality, because the actual members of Monty python are gentlemen, and are kind. No character assassination intended. My intention for writing this is harmless satire because of my admiration for their group. And, the fact that as women, they are prettier than I am.

(Lights up on a very large board room with a very long table. All of the members of Monty python are sitting in a row, facing Kari.)

Kari: hey! Nice to meet you all! (Shakes their hands) you guys are fantastic! I’m so happy to get the opportunity to audition for you, and be considered for your group.

Monty python: nice to make your acquaintance. (Whispers amongst themselves at the long board table they’re sitting at, evaluating Kari) who is she?! A bird. What kind of bird? I don’t know... let’s analyze... pull up her headshot. A “headshot” is a picture for you people who don’t know what a head shot is. We don’t mean an actual gun shot to the head.

(To Kari) Ok. Let’s...

Kari: let’s what?

Monty python: look at your portfolio of character work.

Kari: I write, mostly, but these are silly pictures of me for fun.

Monty python: we love fun. Quite.

Kari: we have that in common then!

Monty python: quite.

Monty python: no. Ok. You are not a bird. This is not you, is it? No, it can’t be. You are a cat woman. Unusual.

Kari: oh, that’s a filter on Snapchat.

Monty python characters: Snapchat? What’s that?

Kari: it’s an app that makes you into different creatures.

Monty python: what’s an app? Our show is based primarily in the 1970s we think, we have to look it up to be reminded, and haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. Well, regardless, let’s all pull up a better picture of you, since you are not really a cat. We’re quite sure, yes, quite, that you are a human being, although not sure, so no. Next slide, please! (We’re British, so we’re polite about our requests...)

Monty python: ok, no. In this one, you are a shocked and lacey, bear creature. Are you a biological man?

Kari: no.

Monty python: one of the criteria of joining our group is that you are a man.

Kari: well, I’m not. See the next slide.

Monty python: please discuss something amongst yourself while we confer about you, in front of you.

Kari: ok. (Kari starts talking about ray rayner, and chelveston the duck to herself...)

Monty python: well, we’re not sure why she’s here if she’s not a man. We play all the women in our sketches. Um, also, we hate to bring this up and look naive, but is she writing us? We don’t know. Some of us aren’t even alive, so it’s hard to determine what’s happening in this case, as we’re all speaking the same words at the same time. If she is writing us this is highly irregular, which is a state that we’re used to being in. The words keep coming. Yes, but she never differentiates the difference between one of us, and all... so we sound like a men’s spoken word chorus. Do those exist? They do now, we are it. Who is this insane woman? God only knows...

God: no, I don’t.

Kari: well, I’m done with my conversation with myself, are you guys done as well?

Monty python characters: yes. Quite. ok, well, next slide pleeeeease.

Monty python: oh my.... yes. Not a man. Ahem. Yes. Clearly. Right. Kari, would you please excuse us again, as we need to confab about you yet again.

Kari: ok. (Kari discusses her love of Kurt Russell and Goldie yawn amongst herself. Both national treasures, both not in the movie, “national treasury, or whatever it’s called...)

Monty python: all in favor of her being in our group, say we! Wait! Before we vote, oh. My... (they Hub hub hub hub peas and carrots. Please say the hub hubs and the peas and carrots like all of the characters in the movie “waiting for guffman”.)

Monty python: Kari, We need a moment to discuss you.

Kari: do you want to discuss me, with me?

Terry Gilliam: yes! Absolutely eventually at some point not now no yes. But we need some privacy at this time.

Kari: ok. I need to take a shit. I’ll be back.

(Monty python all sit and analyze this photo. 4 hours later)

Monty python: yes. Quite. ok! Next slide, please.

John Cleese: um, I’m not done. You all proceed. I’ll hang back a bit, because she looks like she could get rough. I will protect us... because she’s evil... I hope.

The rest of Monty python: very well, next slide, please.

Monty python sans the John Cleese cause he went off to shoot his cameo in the “great muppet caper” 40 years ago...: jooooohhhhnnnnn..... she is evil....

John Cleese: on it! (Mumbling to himself but half to us, the reader, which is me only, cause I write for my own amusement) But not, because she’s married and I think I am but I’m not sure, cause she’s writing this, and unaware of my marital status...) I will call, the only ghostbuster she isn’t pissed at right now because he’s dead... and doesn’t ignore her insane writing because he’s unaware or aware that she writes... oh Egon....

Egon Spangler (as portrayed back in the 80s, by Harold Ramis, or, as Kari lovingly refers to him, Hamis.): yes, this is a classic class F case of a “she be piiiiiiiissed” poltergeist, fairly common around these parts as of late, shouldn’t be an issue. I accept rubies (not to be confused with a ruby gem stone) and zorks currency as payment. Payment due up front.

John Cleese: (yelling) well I don’t have a ruby or a zork on me?!? What do you think I am?! The queen or something?!

Queen the band: definitely not.

John Cleese: (yelling and flailing his arms around like Kermit the frog because he idolizes him, and just worked with him, in the great muppet caper, so he’s heavily influenced by his dynamic personality) see?!?! Now how are we supposed to exercise her?!? She’s the devil! She writes insane things not unlike us, but we’re fine because we’re men that dress like women, and that is socially acceptable, but a woman who acts like a man, is not! And she sometimes acts like a black man, and that is doubly not acceptable, not in a way that cancels itself out, but in a way that emphasizes my point profoundly. She MUST be exercised!

Richard Pryor: have you tried walking her around the block after meals?

John Cleese: (still yelling per the ush) what the hell are you talking about??!? Walk her around the block after meals?! I couldn’t get a harness around her if I tried! She’s writing me flailing around like Kermit the frog! The woman must be stopped!!!!!!

Richard Pryor: just a suggestion. You need to relax, Jack, ok? Cause you’re more than a little uptight.

George Carlin: British.

Richard Pryor: ok. Got it.

Carlin: and isn’t it, exorcised?

Richard Pryor: not as funny.

Carlin: ok. got it.

Eric idle, who stands idle to the fact that his last name is also “idol” when said, and also leaves too many questions like others who suffer with the same affliction have... which idol are we discussing? The sun god, Rah? The sacred cow? American?

Eric idle character: oh god.... scene...

God: I love Kari, I do, because she believes I love everyone, so yes, scene is fine.

John Cleese character: yes! Quite.

Egon Spangler: 70 zorks, please. No personal checks.

Svengoolie (not his son, just him): yes. No.... personal.... checks.....

(Kari walks into an empty conference room)

Kari: um, hey guys? Anyone here? Oh well, I feel better now that I’ve pooped!

(Monty python jump out from underneath the long board table)

Monty python: Boo!

Kari: oh! You startled me! Good thing I just pooped!

Monty python: yes, quite. So, here’s the thing; we’ve reviewed your portfolio and you’re brilliant with the exception of a few things.

Kari: what’s that?

Monty python: well, the first thing is that you’re a woman.

Kari: yes, I am. I saw proof of that in the bathroom.

Monty python: ah, yes. The second thing is that according to Wikipedia, a website we have never heard of at the point in which we were in the first picture, let alone the fact that the internet as we know it was not conceived yet either, and all we had were encyclopedia brittanicas, our show ran from 1969–1983, 1989, 1998–1999, 2002, 2013–2014. All years past. You were born, when?

Kari: 1974.

Monty python: ok, now see? We were in full swing at that point in time. You were a bit too, not available for us, and also too much of a woman for us all, and that’s great! Because you’re way more intelligent than we imagined, we can tell by your pictures, and truth be told, we’re more than a little afraid of you, because you write for us, even though some of us have ceased to exist on this celestial plane. And although we enjoyed our time chatting, we are going to have to take a pass.

Kari: that’s ok! It was nice watching you chat about me a bit while I talked to myself. I’m going to get a soy pumpkin spice latte now from Starbucks. Care to join me?

Monty python: no, thank you. As Starbucks isn’t invented, and neither were pumpkin spice lattes.

Kari: ok! Maybe in 2020 after the Covid shit subsides a bit.

Monty python: yes. Quite.

Scene, scene... (whisper this one) scene.

The aforementioned scene was not real, nor was it endorsed by the real Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle and John Cleese. But, I think terry jones and graham Chapman (who is a chap, and a man, making him a double man, which is very manly indeed, loves me, Kari Keillor, for who I am. Not egoic, but loves herself enough to write still, even its for her own pleasure, and to herself. ❤️)

[oldshowbiz]

“I did a Chevy Chase special at the Comedy Store and I remember seeing Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase going into the bathroom together – and I know they’re not gay. They were in there snorting coke. We all did. Seventy to eighty percent of the people were doing a line, doing a toot, in the back hall there.” -  comedian Bill Kirchenbauer. 

[ao3feed-janefoster]

Festivities

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2A1ttSG

by WhenLemonsGiveYouSex

Sometimes, superheroines want to relax too.

Random One-Shots

Words: 712, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel (Comics), DCU (Comics)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Multi

Characters: Kamala Khan, Miles Morales, Sam Alexander, Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Carol Danvers, Jessica Drew, Mary Jane Watson, Wanda Maximoff, Flash Thompson | Venom, Harry Osborn, Eddie Brock | Venom, Kraven the Hunter, Felicity Hardy, Gwen Stacy, Otto Octavius, Mac Gargan, Herman Schultz, Norman Osborn, Liz Allan, Susan Storm (Fantastic Four), Johnny Storm, Hawkeye (Marvel), Jennifer Walters, Janet Van Dyne, Silver Sablinova, Diana (Wonder Woman), Karen Starr, Kara Zor-El, Zatanna Zatara, Selina Kyle, Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley, Jane Foster (Marvel), Jessica Jones, Namora (Marvel), Mera (DCU), Betty Brant, Rogue (X-Men), Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe | Bloodstorm, Emma Frost, Pepper Potts, Gamora (Marvel), Raven | Mystique, Quentin Beck, Adrian Toomes, Flint Marko, Wilson Fisk, Elektra Natchios, Medusa (Marvel), Hela (Marvel), Amora (Marvel), Kitty Pryde, Elizabeth Braddock, Proxima Midnight, Laura Kinney, Viper (Marvel), Sharon Carter (Marvel), Madelyne Pryor, Angelica Jones, Bobbi Morse, Bobby Drake, Maria Hill, Thundra (Marvel), Karla Sofen, Lorna Dane, Betty Ross, Tandy Bowen, Nebula (Marvel), Anastasia Kravinoff, Anya Sofia Corazon, Crystal Amaquelin, Lily Hollister, Kate Bishop, Jocasta (Marvel), White Tiger (Marvel), Cindy Moon, Shuri (Marvel), Viv 2.0 (Marvel), Lady Deadpool, Julia Carpenter, Greer Grant Nelson, May "Mayday" Parker, Stepford Cuckoos, Raven (DCU), Koriand'r (DCU), Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Barbara Gordon, Helena Wayne, Helena Bertinelli, Kate Kane, Big Barda, Dinah Lance, Donna Troy, Beatriz da Costa, Lois Lane, Arisia Rrab, Soranik Natu, Kendra Saunders, Shayera Hol, Tora Olafsdotter, Tatsu Yamashiro, Mary Batson, M'gann M'orzz, Mari Jiwe McCabe, Cassie Sandsmark, Hippolyta (Wonder Woman), Ben Reilly, Kaine (Spider-Man), Spider-Woman, Max Dillon

Relationships: Sam Alexander/Kamala Khan/Miles Morales, Sam Alexander/Kamala Khan, Kamala Khan/Miles Morales

Additional Tags: Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome - F/F/F, Gangbang, Creampie, Anal Sex, Double Anal Penetration, Anal, Double Penetration, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Double Vaginal Penetration, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Public Sex, Sex Toys, Semi-Public Sex, Shower Sex, Drunk Sex, Come Swallowing, Face-Fucking, Facials, Face-Sitting, Cock Worship, Cock Slapping, Large Cock, Large Breasts, Slut Shaming, Cock Slut, Rimming, Ass to Mouth, Humiliation, Public Humiliation, Public Nudity, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied Relationships, Impregnation, Breeding, Orgy, Rape Fantasy, MILFs, f/m - Freeform, f/f - Freeform, Lesbian Sex, Come Sharing, Come Eating, Come Shot, Best Friends, Friends With Benefits, Enemies to Lovers, Seduction, Surprise Kissing, Surprise Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Underage Drinking, Underage Kissing, Sibling Incest, Parent/Child Incest, Gang Rape, Breast Fucking, Teasing, Strip Tease, Scandal, Truth or Dare, Flashing, Drunk Blow Jobs, Underwater Blow Jobs, Underwater Sex, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Alley Sex, Alley Blow Jobs, Anal Plug, Vibrators, One Shot Collection, One Night Stands, Sharing, Mind Control, Mindfuck, Grinding, Dry Humping, Bathroom Sex, Pregnant Sex

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2A1ttSG

[gaknar]

Hell-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The world is supposed to think you’re dead, Madelyne! Why are you doing your old buddy a solid and helping her fly around the world saving sick people? How does she even still have your phone number to call you up and bum a ride off you while you are hiding out in Australia? Ya know what, even if I was friends with Madeyne Pryor, I don’t think I’d ever ask old Plane Crash MacGee for a ride, ANYWHERE. I’m sure this is not going to end well.

Jesus Christ, Madelyne. Like, I don’t know. Even if I had some greater calling that compelled me to pursue a particular career, like... oh I don't know, toilet making... if every toilet design I created had some critical flaw in it that caused the toilet to shoot shit and piss all over everyone in the bathroom whenever anyone flushed it like all the god damn toilets where I work, I’d probably stop trying to make toilets for a living!!! Not only does Madelyne crash ANOTHER god damn plane, she gets kidnapped by Genosha soldiers.

God damn, girl. (Uncanny X-Men #235 – Oct 1988)

[whenthelaughingstops]

The Comedy Store

They say never meet your idols. The reason is, they never live up to your expectations of who you think they are, however what if your expectations are rooted in reality? What if idolization is simply a false expectation based on your preconceived ideals of who you think the ideal person is?

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted and this is for good reason. My life has been busy and this is a good thing. 

However to mostly update all of you on my most recent vacation in Los Angeles, I had the most incredible time. It was everything I needed and wanted. I came into my vacation with so many doubts about myself, I left there renewed in my sense of being like nothing I have ever felt before. 

The start of my trip was waking up at 4:00AM to be picked up by a private taxi to the airport. My flight was scheduled to leave at 5:45AM and I wanted to make damn sure I wasn’t going to miss it. I had packed my bags as light as possible, I was only carrying an overnight duffel bag and my laptop messenger bag. This for a 10 night stay. I’m resourceful and figured why pack for 10 days of clothing when I can pack for 5 days and do laundry half way through? 

Anyhow after a short trip to a connecting airport and then the long trip from there to Los Angeles (total 7 hours flight time) I finally arrived at 11:30AM (figuring out the 3 hour time difference). I stepped out of the airport, figured out the pickup zone for Uber and made my way immediately to the Comedy Store. I don’t know why, but this was my ultimate destination and since my AirBNB wouldn’t be ready for check-in until 4:00PM I might as well go to what I consider my central point. 

I got there and it was obviously closed, however I walked up, stepped onto the patio and sat down. I sat there, sitting, observing, soaking it all in. Here I was sitting on hallowed ground, reading the names written on the outside walls, Richard Pryor, Norm MacDonald, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, David Letterman and on and on. Some names I didn’t recognize, others unforgettably iconic. This was their start, their hangout, their home. I sat there as tour bus after tour bus would drive up, park for a few minutes, riff off some facts about this place then drive away.  

I can’t express how peaceful and at home I instantly felt sitting there. I knew so much about the history of this place, I had heard all the stories and the legends and the myths. That it was once a nightclub called Ciro’s, a mobster run joint that had all the Hollywood elite at that time frequenting it. How it was later bought by Sammy Shore for a hangout for he and his friends, then later handed over to Mitzi Shore (his wife) as part of a divorce settlement. 

It wasn’t weeks before I showed up that Mitzi had just passed away and you can see echoes of her in that place. The pictures of the walls of her and so many comics, the “Mitzi Only” painted on the parking lot to let people know who’s parking spot that was, to the sign outside saying a fond farewell to her. I won’t go into detail on Mitzi, but she really created a home for misfit comics, and here I was, a misfit comic hoping to settle in.

I eventually left and made my walk over to my AirBNB, with a stop along the way to pickup some food. I eventually checked into my AirBNB, a simple bedroom with a shared bathroom. it was a bed, and that’s about it. Pretty much all I needed as I did not intend to stay too much time in my room. After checking in, unpacking, taking a shower and getting my bearings, I finally get ready and headed out for dinner and finally my first night at the Comedy Store. I arrived and started to introduce myself to every door guy in the place. You see, outside of comics, most people don’t know that this place is run by comics. Door guys in fact have to audition in order to get the job. This is their stepping stone into comedy, many comedians got their start this way and it is very wise to show respect and get to know these guys. It wasn’t long before I was told that there was to be an Open Mic Lottery that night and to sign up you simply had to put your name in a bucket and you got an extra chance if you bought a drink at the patio bar. 

I hung out, met people and mostly chatted with Austin, one of the door guys who took a liking to me. We talked about where I was from, comedy as a whole and I asked him the non-usual questions that get asked, as I was genuinely curious about him. He introduced me to all the door guys working that night and it wasn’t long I was getting access to walk in from the back to sneak into either the Original Room or the Main Room to watch the live shows going on that night. It was incredible, to see such high level comedy being performed all night, amazing act after amazing act. 

Finally it was 11:30pm and all the hopeful comics started to pile up into the Belly Room. The smallest of the rooms there, but no less important. It is the place where the first female standup headlining comedians were given a stage to perform in, it’s where countless comedians got their first break and in fact Dave Chappelle films the second part of his last special on that very stage.

I sat there, waiting for my name to be called up, watching every LA Open Mic comedian step up and attempt to be funny in front of a crowd of wanna-be comics, door guys, show runners, homeless people.. whatever. You could easily tell who came prepared and who were just hacking it. Finally it’s 1:30AM and my name finally gets called up, this is it, my 3 minutes to perform my best material. I was tired, I was nervous and I was about to step in front of a pretty hostile crowd. I ran across my jokes and ended strong. To say I did well would be a lie. In fact I bombed, at least I felt I bombed. I felt horrible, however I remember some strong laughs from the back of the room, and I later found out it was from 3 door guys. Austin, Matt and Steve. 

I was later told that everybody bombs on that stage on that night, and just getting up and doing your time is crucial to being noticed. I left feeling like shit but knowing I was there to learn, I was there to soak it in and feeling this way is part of the process. I walked away that night filled with happiness in fact. I had just performed at the Comedy Store, although in some of the worst circumstances, I was up there. No one can take that from me. I have 10 days to get up and perform and I was going to make the most of it. I made friends with some of the other OpenMicer’s who shared their advice in finding stages to perform on, there’s a website and an app that you can use to plan your day. You can get up and perform probably 4-5 times a day if you’d like and I was going to do just that, OK maybe not that much, but I was going to get my stage time, and then hang out at the Comedy Store, my new home for the next 10 days.

I learned a lot in those 10 days, I felt I went through a comedy boot camp. I have stories that are both so crazy unbelievable and others that are funny. I rubbed shoulders and talked with so many of my favourite comedians, standing there, drinking beer, shooting the shit with faces that look like my NetFlix Comedy Special watched list. I met up with my comedian buddy Steve Simeone and he further introduced me to all the comics (Steve is possibly the nicest guy in comedy, I say that with absolutely no hesitation). I talked with them as if they were my peers, because they are. I respected that they let me talk and approach them, and they respected that I didn’t want a selfie or autograph or try out jokes on them, or ask them for advice. This is home, you don’t need to remind them they are famous, you need to remind them they are home.

The Comedy Store wasn’t the only place I went to when I was in LA, I also went to the Laugh Factory, many open mics and even performed at the Hollywood Improv. However I always seemed to gravitate back to the Store. It’s weird, the other clubs are more formal, setup to give people the ultimate comedy showcase experience. The Comedy Store on the other hand is more informal, there’s the Main Room that hosts all the premium headliners doing their best sets, but there’s also the Original Room where a rotation of comics go up for their 15 minute sets, the lineup is loose, and at any point someone like Bill Burr or David Spade could show up and sneak an unannounced 15 minute spot. Then there’s the Belly Room where some of the wildest shows are happening. Roast Battle, Cadillac Sundays, specialty shows you name it. 

The beauty of the Store is that anything could happen and very often it did. Unexpected people show up, make an appearance, hang out and shoot the shit with the comics then leave. You get the sense that they too felt equally at home.

Given different circumstances I could definitely see myself picking up, moving down there and dedicating my life to comedy. I think about what if I had been into this earlier in my life and I had made the move down there. Then I realize something pretty evident, a younger, less experienced me would not have been equipped for Los Angeles. I would not have done well and probably would not have adjusted as I did when I was there. This is because my experiences, my life, who I am has shaped me into being the kind of person who can be honest, genuine and open in a sea of people posing, hustling, and faking. I did well there because I wasn’t trying, I was just being. That’s the key to comedy. You can’t fake experience, you can’t pretend to be funny, you just are, and that is the result of your life. I learned great humility and left there both humble and hopeful. 

I will followup up with more stories from Los Angeles, but for now, I wanted to just highlight this place. 

[tradedmiami]

SALE IMAGE: Nelson Gonzalez, Carlo Dipasquale & Wendy Mendoza DATE: 04/30/2021 ADDRESS: 2550 Flamingo Dr MARKET: Miami Beach ASSET TYPE: Single Family BUYER: Matthew Pryor SELLER: Frank Mauceri BUYER’S REP: Carlo Dipasquale, Wendy Mendoza SELLER’S REP: Nelson Gonzalez ASKING PRICE: $3,950,000 SALE PRICE: $3,950,000 SF: ~ PPSF: $1,050 NOTE FROM BROKER: 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃 | 2550 Flamingo Dr. 4bed | 4.5 bath $3,950,000 𝐁𝐔𝐘𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. Carlo Dipasquale @carlodipasqualemiami & Wendy Mendoza @wmendoza . Exquisitely remodeled and furnished with high-end European furniture, this art deco gem on tranquil Flamingo Drive was sold turn key. Recently renovated with impact glass windows, Control4 system, new baths, new HVAC, and a modern chef’s kitchen, this luxe home offers ample living space, breakfast room, formal dining, media room, office, sauna, 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. The lushly secluded backyard is equipped with a saltwater pool, pizza oven, summer kitchen, and patios for lounging. Perfectly located just one block away from the beach. • To buy or sell your property contact us today Carlo Dipasquale @carlodipasqualemiami carlo@carlodipasquale.com tel:786.512.5094 #Miami #RealEstate #tradedmia #MIA #MiamiBeach #SingleFamily #MatthewPryor #FrankMauceri #CarloDipasquale #WendyMendoza #NelsonGonzalez

[rayalanandyelamathi]

Placed next to an early Australian mass planting of eucalyptus trees, the proposed built form consists of a series of five connected pods in a ‘pyriform’ floor plan. The sinous form enclosing an open ended courtyard space with a north facing aspect that links the pedestrian flow from the adjoining campus student accommodation. The site was previously occupied by the Fenner School Field Services Building and the 1952 Lindsay Pryor Eucalyptus plantings. The 120 eucalypts, which originally stretched over two miles are the only remnant left of the original plantings and are the most significant amenity asset on the site. The project provides 500 beds in a college format with individual student bedrooms and shared amenities including bathrooms, cooking, dining, lounging, study and other recreational facilities. The residence includes facilities that are shared with the whole university which includes a library / study, a gathering hall, reception and associated landscaped areas. The project gross floor area is approximately 15,000m2 over 7 storeys. The Pods are connected by hinges and loosely form a ‘U-Shape’ with a principle north facing college green towards Burton & Garran Hall.

[twixnmix]

In her 2010 memoir, Foxy: My Life In Three Acts, Pam Grier claimed that her sexual relationship with Richard Pryor caused cocaine to enter her system! Richard also got engaged to another woman while dating her. Pam was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 1988.

Pam recounts how a conversation with her doctor led to her confronting Richard:

He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that's prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It's a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”

“No,” I said, astonished.

“Well, it’s really dangerous," he went on. "Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?"

“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

“Are you sure he isn't doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid. You can have some serious cervical and uterine problems. You can even become sterile and you might have to have a hysterectomy.”

“Will it ever go away,” I asked. “It’ll go away eventually,” the doctor said.

“In the meantime, he has to wear a condom or you’re going to be a very sick woman.”

The doctor then asks her if her mouth went numb while performing oral sex on Richard, she says it did, and he links it the Novocain-like effects of cocaine. Pam confronted Richard about protecting her health and he rejected the issue:

Later that evening, I told Richard, I have cocaine inside of me. It’s eating me up and it could kill me. Have you been putting it on your penis?

“No. Of course not,” he answered quickly. I took a deep breath. “I have to ask you to wear a condom when we have sex.”

“What?” was all he said.

I said, “you have to Richard,” I pleaded with him. “Only for a while. I have to get rid of these lesions so I don’t get infections.”

He said, “I hate condoms. I can’t feel anything.”

“Will you at least talk to my doctor?”

“No.”

I realized at that moment that I was not truly loved by this man.

[roccoroks]

Dag 3 THE DAG FILES! *que X Files music* The following events took place at the Spring Grand Rod Run, names have been changed to protect the stupid and liable. time:.......dark....ish im working a double, 2nd & 3rd shift pryor to the take over of the motel there for i was still a employee at the time and had to answer the a boss (the sorry motherfucker that he is) but thats another story/rant. its hot outside, people are pissing and shitting all over my lobby bathrooms and im trying to deal with 100+ geusts and god only knows how many classic cars... this is more of what its like to deal with multipul shitty guests and problems while working a rod run in pigeon forge tn. the grand rod run takes place twice a year and has more that 1000-2500 show cars through out the city of pigeon forge. we find our hero sitting on his ass watching youtube videos and eating potato chips and trying to download bootleged My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic episodes when the internet suddenly explodes and stops working due to me trying to download 30 episodes at once! this is more of what its like to deal with multipul shitty guests and problems while working a rod run in pigeon forge tn me: *prior to net crash* ^.^ *om nom nom nom* *internet crashes* me: O.O........shit....not good me: hey chris (we work in pairs on rod runs) chirs: whats up man me:.....um i think were fucked chris:what did you break? me: the internet....all of it chris: I FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO DOWNLOAD THAT MUCH PONY SHIT AT ONCE! me:.....sorry?...you fix?...please chris: *sigh* leave, NOW! me: *me runs out from behind the counter just as the phone rings* ~when the wifi goes down at the motel, you might as well have set the place on fire, eeeeveryone calls to tell you!~ me: front desk poc 1: (pissed of coustomer) yeah uh hi, the inter net is not working, how do i log on? me: (i know its not working, i broke it! ^.^) im sorry we are having technical difficulties and are trying to restore it as we speak! poc1: oh ok ill try later! bye me: that wasnt so.... *ring* me: front de..... rpoc: (realy pissed of coustomer) HEY THE INTRANETS NOT WORKING me: im sorry we ar....(did you just say "INTRANET"?) rpoc: WHEN I MADE MY RESERVATION I WAS TOLD THERE WAS WEEFI AND I DONT HAVE WEEFI WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ABOUT THAT! me: sir im trying to get it back on line and i should have it working with in.....( WAIT...WTF IS WEEFI?) rpoc: I DONT WANT EXCUSES I WANT THE INTRANET FIXED me: sir? sir are you there? rpoc: *yells louder* I SAID IIIIII WWWWWWWWAAAANT TTTTHEEEEEEEE INTERNET FIIIIIXXXXXXEEDD NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWWWW CAN YO.... me: SIR YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP BECAUSE I CANT HEEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRRRR YYYYYYOUUUU! (fucking yell at me dick head) rpoc: *SOME HOW YELLS EVEN LOUDERER* III SAID FIX THE GOD DAMED INTRA......... me: idk chris i cant hear the guy, he sounds like a broken record. (lmao i soooooo can hear the vein in your head thumpin!) rpoc: you have got to be kidding me, now the fucking teller phone doesnt work *hangs up* chris: what was that all about? me: thats how you deal with a bad guest chris: great! now hes going to come down here and bitch to me me: yup, see ya later! me: *leaves to check parking lot for cars to tow,leaves chris to clean up mess* me: *looks out the window* (if there were any more cars in my parking lot it, this place would look like a poory orginized scrap yard) me: *walks outside for 3 hours* *3 hours, 2 beers and one smokey burn out from a dodge challenger later* *sitting at the desk, chris leaves for the night* chris: im turning my phone off, dont....fucking.....call...me! me:k me: (back to down loading ponies! and cruse CL for car parts) poc: AHEM! me: /).- (I will not respond to a clearing of the throat, what the fuck bitch, this aint high school) poc: AAAAHHEEEEMMM! ME: (NOPE! FUCK YOU) poc : EXCUSE ME! me: (was that so hard?....bitch) yes mam! may i help you? ^.^ poc: uuuhh you need to do something about that drunk guy in the pool.... me: drunk guy? poc: yes hes in the pool and hes drunk and i dont want to see that! me: ...*blank stare* poc: well.... me: (do i get any more info than that? ITS THE ROD RUN! EEEVVERRRRRYYYBODIES FUCKING DRUNK!) yes mam what does he look like? poc: HE IS THE DRUNK ONE! me: (com'on! take the hint!) mam this is the rod run and everyone in the pool is drunk, is he bothering you in anyway? poc: well..huh..he just shit in the pool.... me:........ me:....your shitting me....(i haha i made a funny) poc: she for your self! me: *goes to pool, see only 3 people in the pool, all of them drunk* me: soooo he just? poc: yup, he just dropped his swim suite and shit right in the pool, then he jumped it , then he told his friends that it was a candy bar and dared them to eat it! me: .......*speachless*.... me: ok mam, who dun shit in my pool *i sooooooo wish i was making this up* poc: him! *points at all 3 drunk people* me: (really? not the middle one, not the one on the right just that one?)ok witch one of them? poc: the fat one me: (THERE ALL FUCKING FAT!) ok witch fat one poc: I FUCKING GIVE UP! *STORMS OUT* me: (damn, she lasted longer than most, shee needs a discount!) me: *walks out into the pool* ok, who shit in my pool (this situation warents cussing) *all the drunk people* "HE DID" *AND POINTED AT EACH OTHER!* me: /).- WHERE IS IT! *again all three of them * THERE! *all three point in different directions!* me: soooo its everywhere.... *blank stares all around and akward silence* me: where....is..... the.... TUUUUUURRRRD *more blank stares* drunk guy 1: ummmmmm me: all of you, GET OUT! drunk guy 2: but what if we.... me: NOW! *all three exit pool* drunk guy: um when can we get back in the pool? me: tomorrow dunk guy 2: why so long? me: look im the only guy here and i have better things to do then go on a wild goose chase for a lone turd in the pool! drunk guy 1: well whos going to clean it up? me: NOT FUCKING ME! YOU WANA SWIM? GO NEXT DOOR AND LAY A LOG IN THEIR POOL! *they all think this is wildly funny and walk off to deuce one out in the smokey mountain lodge's pool* 30 mins and a few pissed off would be pool goers later ME:* just sat down to pizza* *ring, ring, ring,ring,ring* me: FOR FUCK SAKE! I HATE YOU PHONE *get up and walks to phone* me: *bangs knee on desk drawer* FUCKING OOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE ! FUCK YOU TOO BROKEN DESK DRAWER! AHEM! front deak *in sweet voice* dag: (room 403)" THE GAW DAMN INTRANET AINT FUCKIN WERKIN!"(i a heavy drunk southern accent) me: e.e...(you sound familar) its not? one second let me check. *puts customer on hold* me: *goes to bathroom to take a dump* 5 mins later me: (fuck ! hes still there!) *takes dag off hold* sir? dag: BOUT TIME! me: try it agian dag: I DONT FUCKIN KNOW HOW TO GET ON THE GAW DAMNEDED THING ME.......O.o (then how do you know its not working.....WAIT, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU....DO YOU EVEN COMPUTER BRO?) me: sir? dag: *YELLS TO WIFE* HEY! GET THA FUCK OVER HERE AND MAKE THE FUCKER WORK ME:  .....(oh my god this is like jerry springer) *long pause* dags wife in background: THERE! IT FUCKING WORKING...WAIT NO, YES...NO ITS NOT ME:.......sir? DAG: HANG ON DAMNED IT! ME:......*SUCKING BACK LAUGHING.....BECAUSE I JUST FLIPED THE BREAKER TO THE ROUTER KILLIN ALLLLL THE INTERNETS* dag: IT JUST WAS FUCKIN WERKIN THEN THE SHIT BROKE ME: HANG ON A SEC.....*puts dag back on hold, sit down and eats a slice of pizza* 4 slices of pizza later... me: *flips breaker back on, takes dag off hold* sir, HOW BOUT NOW? dag: HAY, HE SAYS ITS WERKIN........WELL.....GET THA FUCK OVER HUR AND MAKE THE TING GO! ~pernounce it just like i wrote~ long pause...... dag: aigh the fuckers workin now ME: go deal yall, yall has a goooooooood nigh nowww...... dag: hangs up me: (THAT WAS FUN! now for foods!) *almost sits down* *ring, ring,ring,ring,ring* me: FUCKING REALLY?!? ahem: front desk? dag: HAY ME: (oh gawd not you again) yes sir dag: what room are we in me: O.o..(really.....you dont even know what room....) 403 sir dag: im in 403? me: yes sir dag: TELL THEM FUCKERS ABOVE ME TO SUCK THE FUCK UP OR IMA GONA BEAT 7 SHADE OF SHIT OUT OF THEM! ME: (i would pay soooooo much money, you dont even know) sir its 930pm and during the rod run thing tend to go on until 12 am or so, im sorry but there nothing i can do dag: I GONA KICK THEIR ASSES! ME: SIR! PLEASE DONT GO......*CLICK* ME: *RUNS OUT THE DOOR TO THE 5TH FLOOR* FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! *arives at 5th floor.....its empty* me: ......(aint no one up here) *walks down to 4th floor, sees drunk guy outside 403, in whity tighties, passed out in the chairs* me: (im sooooo not dealing with that) *goes back to office* me: * sits down at the desk and see something out of the corner of my eye* *looks at security moitor* me: DAFUQ IS THAT? *switches to pool cam, see UFO (unidentified floating object)* me: nooooo, it cant be.... *zoooms in, sees large turd* ITS BACK! THE TURD! ME : *runs around the counter to the pool, trips on carpet and knocks over entire brocher rack* me: (deal with that later, I HAVE SOME SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF!) *at the pool* me: damn.....thats quite the deuce....atleast a 2 pounder *starts talking to myself in a steve irwin accent* me: wear hear in the confines of the pool room, in search of a veronious beast! SHHHHH *GRABS SCOOPER* aahw yea thar she is, just look at hur thear, she a absolute beauty! and shes a floata too! me: *lowers scooper, turd slide off the edge* awhh shes a fisty one she is! ima grab her tail! me: * trys to come from below and scoop it up, turd veirs away* shes a quick won! HUHO QUICK! THE SHELA IS MAKIN A BREAK FOR IT! me: *finaly scoops turd* HE SCOOPS HE SCORES!!!!!! * turns around see's hot girls laughing at me* me: *looks at turd on the scooper* (theres not a hole deep enough for me to craw off in right now) *drops turd in trash* * relocks pool goes to desk to commit suicide* 20 min later me: *watching youtube, probably supercharger videos around that time* dag: HAY, YOU BACK THUR? ME: (maybe if i sit reeeeeeeal still he will not see me) dag: HAY! *leans around counter* me; (FUCK! IT SAW ME) me: yes sir how ma.... dag: LISTIN THE INTRANET DONT WERK, YOU GOT US UNDER THESE LOUD FUCKING PEOPLE , YOUR POOL IS CLOSED AND IT AINT EVEN TIME TO CLOSE IT AND TO TOP IT OFF NOW MY TV DONT WORK me:im sorry sir (no im not) but i cant move you to another roome because we are full. dag: WELL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS! I WANT A GWAD DAMND DISCOUNT! ME: (no you need to put a shirt on, no one needs to see your "DD" man titties!) im sorry sir theres nothing i can do, you will need to talk to the manager in the..... dag: I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY AND COME THE FUCK DOWN HERE TO TALK TO A MANAGER I WANT THIS SHIT FIXED NOW! me: (and i want a decent blow job from my wife, but that shit aint going to happen either) im sorry bud but i cant do anything until morni...... dag: YOU CAN ATLEAST OPEN UP THE FUCKING POOL! me: sir i cant op.....SURE THING! TELL YA WHAT IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY I WILL OPEN THE POOL JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS BUT NO ONE ELSE, IS THAT OK? dag: now thats more like it *walks out the door* me: (BAWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!) 15 MINS LATER. DAG AND HIS WIFE ARE SWIMIN IN THE POO WATER LAGOON *chis walks in with beer* chris: *stops, looks at the two fuckers swiming in the pool* you know its past 11 right? you not suppost to let people swim past 11 me; i know chris: oooookkkk why do they get to swim? me: because i hate them chris:sooo you hate them and they get to swim.....is that the motherfucker that yelled at me for the inter net not working? me: yup, and some one shit in there earlier to day too chris: *snots beer out his nose* HAHAHHA WHAT THE FUCK? me: yup, fuck them chris: thats sooooo wrong me: yup chris: your going to hell for this but it sooooo worth it /rant

[oliveratlanta]

First look: South of downtown, row of 11 townhomes planned with Gold Dome views

How seven of 11 townhomes are planned to look. | Images courtesy of Raven Residential Group, Vertical Row

Mechanicsville project called “Vertical Row” is moving forward, with prices beginning in the high $400Ks

The latest evidence of investment in Mechanicsville comes with rare promises of rooftop views to not Ponce City Market or Midtown but Georgia’s statehouse, the Gold Dome.

A project called Vertical Row is moving forward just south of downtown in Mechanicsville, where Bass and Pryor streets meet, about a block south of Ralph David Abernathy Boulevard and directly across the Connector from Georgia State Stadium, a project rep tells Curbed Atlanta.

The gated community—an 11-unit venture by Raven Residential Group—is promising unobstructed views of downtown from generous rooftops. The location, per a promotional website, is “ideal for access to restaurants, schools, shopping, and the Beltline.”

Prices are expected to begin in the high $400,000s.

Expect three bedrooms with each option, plus two full and two half-bathrooms, in just shy of 1,900 square feet.

Planned perks beyond the downtown views: quartz waterfall islands in kitchens, optional electric-car chargers, and vaulted ceilings in media rooms that adjoin the rooftop decks.

Planned kitchen finishes.

While changes haven’t been as pronounced as those in neighboring communities, such as Summerhill, Mechanicsville has seen its share of home renovations in recent years, with some listings pegging it as the city’s next hot locale.

On nearby Crumley Street, it’s worth noting, a corner-lot project consisting of modern-style Mechanicsville duplexes saw larger units fetch close to $400,000 in 2018.

An example of roof decks planned for Vertical Row.

A floor-by-floor breakdown of townhome levels begins with a one-car garage that includes an electric-vehicle charging option. Also included at this level is a finished bedroom and bathroom.

Garage entries from behind.

source https://atlanta.curbed.com/2020/4/7/21210337/atlanta-townhome-for-sale-downtown-mechanicsville